#gimme me that sad irish man

[causalityparadoxes]

Anyway if anyone knows where to find a slime tutorial of the Lyric Theatre version of Hadestown plz hit me up. I could watch that 100000000 times

[notasapleasure]

Sometimes you’re fine but you just need to make a playlist of all the sea-adjacent songs that make you sad and uneasy and comfort you all at once. It’s mostly folky with a sprinkling of indie, and there are a lot of songs about drowning - with apologies to my seafaring mutuals!

when you promised the devil you'd marry him and he drowns you both - when your captain is a murderer and the storm won't calm until you throw him overboard - when you sing an Irish lullaby for selkie children - when we all know about Gordon Lightfoot - when you just want to go swimming with your best friend but you both drown - when you keep dreaming of your drowned lover - when you're jealous of your little sister so you drown her - when I tasted the rain I tasted my tears I cursed the angels I tasted my fears - when Blue Beard wants to drown you but you drown him first - when little fish big fish swimming in the water come back here man gimme my daughter - when someone tells the king you're a great sailor, but you never did intend to be one - when your son and his father drown while out fishing - when oh the ocean carries me, she carries me away - when we're diving for dear life when we should be diving for pearls - when it's Florence, no explanation needed - when the captain goes down with the ship and it's both horrifying and utterly triumphant - when thank god they didn't play this at the tsunami benefit concert - when all young lovers know why nightmares blind their mind's eye - when the history of wrecking and smuggling in Cornwall just gets overwhelming to you and such shadows are blossoming under this weather - when the ocean beat her every time and with a crack her body failed - when you're a dying monk on a windswept, wave-battered shore - when you did it better even than Bobby Darin - when you hear the first charity benefit single and know that nothing ended well for them - when you know what? I love you better now.

[thebirdandthebee]

Easy As

A Carmen Berzatto Universe

Vanessa Monaghan is the breath of fresh air that Carmen had been gasping for.

Page 3: Irish Spring

Carmen looked around, feeling a bit hopeless as he scanned his small, River North apartment. When he moved home, a studio alcove seemed perfect, but now, with Vanessa visiting his place for the first time, he really wished he had sprung for a proper one bedroom.

It wasn’t completely terrible, but it didn’t quite look like someone lived there – rather, someone who visited from time to time. The only thing he had hung up on the walls were a few photos from his film camera in the kitchen and a Chicago skyline print his mom gave him when he moved to New York.

Now, it just seemed silly in his Chicago apartment.

The apartment wasn’t messy, but it was kind of sad. Two stacked boxes as a nightstand with a bottle of Pepto and a bottle of Advil on top. He quickly grabbed both, tossing them into the bathroom medicine cabinet. His bed was neatly made and his clothes were clean and hung up in the appropriate places. Carmen even lint-rolled the rug beneath his bed (seeing as he didn’t own a vacuum).

The couch was ugly but comfortable and if nothing else, he had a TV. He placed two coasters on the wooden coffee table and lit the one candle he’d ever owned to sit in the middle. It was a gift from Sugar three years ago. At least he was really getting her money’s worth.

The intercom buzzed in the entryway, nearly sending him through the roof.

“Who is it?” He asked, holding the reply back.

“Hi, I’m here for the bachelor party?” She teased. He punched the unlock button, letting her into the building. Thankfully the elevator was working that day and she won’t need to climb the four floors of stairs that usually smelled like mildew.

Carm had been to Vanessa’s apartment several times. On their fourth date she invited him over under the guise of helping her hang some frames but also ordered in his favorite Thai takeout and they watched a few episodes of The Great British Bake Off.

While Carmen was mostly a frugal man and he had nothing be ashamed about financially, he knew Vanessa had money. Her high-rise apartment with a doorman and cararra marble bathrooms said a lot. But she wasn’t stuffy, she didn’t flash money and frankly, she didn’t care whether or not Carmen did.

“It’s my Dad’s money,” she insisted one morning as they woke up together at her place. “Sure, it makes me feel safe, but it’s not mine.”

So even though she insisted it was not important to her, he really wished he had spent a little more time making his place a home.

Carmen collected himself as he heard her knuckles rap on his front door. Swinging it open, her presence calmed him as she smiled widely.

“I hope it’s okay I took some liberties with the pizza selection,” she said, holding up two boxes in her hand with a familiar tote draped over her other shoulder. She stepped inside and he was happy to relieve her of her cargo, holding the boxes in front of him as he leaned forward to kiss her over top. “You like pineapple, right?” She asked, laughing earnestly as she watched his expression drop.

“Very funny, very funny,” he shook his head. She followed him into the kitchenette after dropping her back in an unoccupied corner. As Carmen grabbed napkins, she hopped up on the formica countertop.

“I don’t have a table to sit at,” He murmured, coming to stand between her legs as he flipped open the boxes atop the gas range beside her.

“Good, I’ve been sitting at a desk all day,” she said, tipping her face down to kiss him again. “You smell amazing,” she sighed, slanting her mouth over his more deeply. His hands came up to rest on her thighs, sliding around to squeeze the small of her back.

“Are you sure it’s not the pizza?” He mumbled.

“It might be the pizza,” she agreed, laughing as he landed a loud smack against her ass. “Gimme,” she mumbled, reaching down to grab a big piece of thin-crust margherita.  “How was your day?” She asked, tipping her head back and taking as much of the piece into her mouth as possible, groaning at the taste.

“Good,” Carm said, pressing his hips against the counter and grabbing his own slice. “New HVAC is all installed, next week we’ve got the window guy coming in and new furniture should be arriving by Tuesday.”

“That’s exciting!” She grinned, “is the team ready?” She asked.

“The team is excited for the two weeks off ahead of opening,” he laughed. “T’s gonna take her kid down to Florida, Richie’s taking his daughter on a weekend trip,” he rattled off.

“That makes her, what? Your second cousin? First cousin once removed?” She asked, tilting her head.

Carm looked up at Vanessa, unable to stop himself from swiping a small bit of sauce from the corner of her mouth.

“You know Richie and I aren’t actually cousins, right?” He asked, smirking softly.

“What! How would I know that?!” She laughed, “I’ve exclusively heard you two call each other ‘cousin’ for the past five months!”

“I know, I know,” he ducked his head, laughing. “I never explained,” he grinned, rocking to the side as she punched him in the shoulder. “We aren’t related, but he’s family,” was the best explanation he could give. “Shit this is good pizza,” he commented, flipping the lid of the box back down, but only seeing a generic checker print. “Where’s it from?” He asked.

“Secret,” she grinned. “Can’t give all my spots up yet.” Carmen rolled his eyes, taking another big bite.

“So you got a margherita and an all-meat?” He asked, barely swallowing, “covering your bases?”

“I like marg,” she said, taking another bite and pulling a long string of mozzarella away from her face, “and meat for you.”

“What made you pick that?” He asked, very pleased with her selection.

“You’re a meaty boy,” she shrugged, picking up the open glass bottle of Coke next to her.

“I’m a meaty boy?” He asked with a smirk. Vanessa wiped her hands on a paper towel before sliding her hands from the top of his shoulders, squeezing down his biceps and up his chest again.

“Meaty,” she sighed, laughing as he rolled his eyes. “I know you’re watching that protein intake.” She added, making him shake his head. They finished up their slices, and as they agreed to move to the couch, she grabbed her tote again, ready to get out of her work clothes. Carm spread out on the couch after lighting his singular candle, watching her shuffle through her stuff.

“Can I borrow some sweats?” She asked, padding over to his second-hand Ikea dresser.

“What’s mine is yours,” he insisted, watching as she pulled open a drawer, immediately finding a pair of grey Hanes. He watched as she shimmied out of her tailored suit pants, revealing a black thong that instantly made his skin simmer. Tossing the pants on his bed, she double-backed to the dresser, pulling open the top drawer to grab a pair of his tube socks.

“Jackpot,” she grinned, balancing on one foot to pull one sock on after the other. Carmen tracked her movements carefully, eyes trailing up her tan legs to the curve of her ass. Pulling on the sweatpants, she rolled over the waistband a few times and pulled the cord to try and get them to keep from slinking down her frame.

Next, she reached into her bag, pulling out a long-sleeve navy Henley. With her back turned to Carmen, she peeled her work blouse over her head, tossing it on the bed before unhooking her bra and throwing it down as well.

“I think the whole building across the street can see your tits,” Carmen commented.

“Well, lucky them,” she looked at him over her shoulder with a wicked little grin. “They’re nice tits.”

Pulling on her top, she turned back to the living space and dropped her bag down in yet another unoccupied space.

“This too casual?” She asked, shrugging up her shoulders with her hands out by her sides.

“You’re fucking perfect,” Carmen replied earnestly, “get over here.” Vanessa happily sprung over, crawling on top of Carmen and wiggling her body between his legs to rest on his chest. He yelped as she sunk her teeth into his chest.

“Meaty,” she commented. Carmen slid his hand down her back, beneath the waistband of his sweatpants and rest his cold fingers on her warm cheek. “What are you going to do with your two weeks off, huh?” she asked.

“I won’t get as much time as everyone else,” he added, “I’ll take five days.”

“I have a proposition for you,” she smiled.

“Please, proposition me,” he replied.

“I just signed a new client at work  - the Four Seasons downtown,” she said, resting her chin on his chest. “And they gifted me two free nights of my choice – full access to the spa, gym, restaurants – everything for free.” She explained. “Any chance you wanna spend 48 hours in a plush bathrobe with me?” She asked.

“That sounds a lot better than what I was planning,” he said, impressed.

“Mm, two days with you all to myself,” she grinned. “Just think of the trouble we could get up to.” She nuzzled her face into his neck and he gave her a tender squeeze, reaching up to toss a throw blanket over them. “God you smell so good, I’m not kidding.” She sighed, “what soap do you use?” She asked, holding back on her deep desire to sink her teeth right into his neck.

“Really expensive, really exclusive,” he tilted his head back, not minding her assault in the least. “It’s called Irish Spring – it’s not sold everywhere.”

“You’re such a little shit,” she laughed, shaking her head, but pressing herself as close to him as she physically could. “Next time I’m putting pineapple on your pizza.”

“Joke’s on you,” he murmured. “I’ll eat anything.”

[punkscowardschampions]

Tommy & Meena

Tommy: [Late enough that the clean up is done and she could've potentially heard about some of the drama but not late enough that if there's a mcwalsh party whereby Ali gets knocked up that he wouldn't already be drunk at that feels like a starting point] Tommy: Cá mbeidh tú ag fliúchadh na seamróige? 🍀🧡💚 Meena: I was about to go down to the restaurant, just hang out there Meena: Caleb and Drew were going to some party but I was not invited so 🤷 Meena: What are you all up to? Tommy: 🍻🥃 Tommy: but the vibe's more drinking ourselves to death, doubt you want an invite either, like Meena: I think that's most people's vibe but they sound happier/more in denial about it...? Tommy: Yeah, it's casually cultural Meena: Yeah? Tommy: You're not feeling patriotic today? Meena: I don't really vibe it any day Meena: but that's not important Tommy: that's a no for the Irish dancing then, alright Meena: We can try Meena: I look even taller when I'm not allowed to move my upper body though Tommy: 😂 Meena: no leprechauns here Tommy: any 🌈💰? Meena: no more than normal 💔 Tommy: I'll be right there then 🌈✨ Meena: That's your superpower Meena: I don't know how 🍀🧡💚 Gus has gone, you'll probably feel more at 🏡 where you are Tommy: It ain't feeling very 🏡 but 💌 received Tommy: I'll stay put, feet & upper body Meena: Why not? Tommy: long story Tommy: you'll hear the short one at 🏫 probably Meena: You don't feel like telling it, understood Meena: is there anything I can do? Tommy: I don't know how to, more like Tommy: you'd redraft it before you were done with the 1st for being too Tommy: unreadable Meena: Nonsense poetry is my specialty Tommy: Yeah? Tommy: maybe you should've been there to roll out the welcome wagon for my new sister Meena: New sister? Meena: Oh, do you mean your mum's baby Meena: not baby now, from before Tommy: she definitely ain't a baby now Meena: So, she came and it went bad Meena: I'm so sorry, Tommy Meena: how bad are we talking? Tommy: bad as it gets Meena: Is your mum alright, I mean Meena: stupid question, but Tommy: It's a fair question & I wish the answer was yeah Tommy: or there was fuck all I could do Meena: That's terrible Tommy: I've gotta go back to school, how can I? Meena: For them Meena: sometimes all you can do is give everyone a small sense of normality Meena: even when you don't want to, or think you can't go on yourself Tommy: Ali can't hold down the fort all on her own, alright, she probably can, but she shouldn't have to Meena: She won't be Meena: she has Carly, and me and Ro and, loads of people, really Meena: I promise we'll all do what we can Tommy: Don't start me on Ro, she wasn't even there Meena: Where was she? Tommy: Fuck knows Tommy: I thought she might be with you Tommy: or your brother Meena: She wasn't with me Meena: maybe Drew but I doubt it, he's been out and about everywhere all day, obviously Tommy: she'll be at home then Meena: Oh, that's a bit Meena: I understand under normal circumstances the pub on St Paddy's is not her ideal place to be but as it was Meena: anyway, that's all to say, you don't need to worry about Ali, she has a good support system to support your parents and take care of Rocky Meena: do you have people YOU can talk to and lean on at school? Tommy: yeah, Carly's ace with him & Ali to have lasted this long, like Tommy: I ain't telling anyone at school about this, loads of 'em already think I'm trash Tommy: or come from it Tommy: they've got a point now Meena: No, they don't Meena: your family are some of the best people I know Meena: you're not anything to be ashamed of Tommy: Everyone around here knows that Joe would be your brother's best customer except he don't carry the right stuff & now loads of 'em also know she's as bad, nah, worse Tommy: & that together they're Tommy: I can't even fucking go there Meena: People shouldn't judge him by that, never mind you as his family Tommy: They do though Tommy: keeping my mouth shut about it at school is my best option Meena: as long as you can express yourself and have an outlet through your work, I can't say I blame you Meena: you don't have to tell everyone everything Tommy: or anything Tommy: 🩰 will do Meena: I shouldn't say anything against words, given who I am and what I want to be but Meena: a comfortable silence can be preferable to words you're unsure of, words that hurt, or that you don't want to speak into existence Tommy: Yeah, I'd take an uncomfortable silence over that too Tommy: everyone's hurting & unsure enough Meena: if it's good enough for Maya Meena: 🤐 Tommy: I didn't mean with you Meena: You can always talk to me Meena: no matter the quality or quantity of your words Meena: you know that Tommy: okay Meena: but no rush on it Meena: obviously Meena: and I won't fill the silence with total nonsense, like Tommy: but those poems are your speciality Tommy: self proclaimed, like, but still Meena: Rude to doubt me Meena: 🥬🐢🐌👑 Tommy: Gimme one then Tommy: best shot Meena Though some at my aversion smile, I cannot love the crocodile. Its conduct does not seem to me Consistent with sincerity. Meena: 🐊💔 Tommy: He is basically a 🐍 with feet Tommy: You 🖋 that? Meena: Sadly not Meena: I'll try to write something as appropriate scathing for your brother Tommy: Or as 💔 for me, yeah? Meena: Of course Meena: what could be better to cheer you up? 😏 Tommy: as a feel good goes it's obviously unrivalled even by 🍻🎵💃🕺 Tommy: that's the level of your talent Meena: You're either that drunk or you wish you were...code red either way Meena: you could come to the restaurant though, if you actually wanted Tommy: Get ahead at waiting tables for when the West End fucks me off & over Tommy: good thinking Meena: Please Meena: your name is already in lights, I can see it Meena: 🤩 Tommy: as you said please, I'll come Meena: manners maketh the man do what you want? Meena: interesting Tommy: works on this one Tommy: how much of a man I am is up for debate, usually Meena: People are idiots Meena: and too invested in stuff that doesn't affect them whatsoever Tommy: like you said, practically a local celeb at this point Meena: still, what's going on in your tights is just not their business Tommy: that's such a you way to put that Meena: I'll choose to take that as a compliment on me having a consistent voice Meena: though the alternatives are 🤔 Tommy: take as I miss you Meena: Are you back for long? Tommy: Nah, they ain't that patriotic either Tommy: I shouldn't even be here, wouldn't have been if she wasn't coming Meena: That's shittier Tommy: maybe JC is trying to keep me humble before I get too 🤩 Meena: It's Patrick that needs to make a second coming to banish your brother 🐍🐍 Tommy: he's already done that himself Meena: Oh, that was the purpose of today then? Meena: I get it Tommy: if he had one Tommy: might have just been out of his 🧠 on whatever 💊💉🥄🚬 Tommy: or worse so 😍 over her that's all that he gives a shit about besides the above Meena: Wait Meena: he's what? Tommy: you'll hear about it soon as you get back to class, they were doing it for everyone to see Tommy: her purpose given what it did to my ma Meena: Jesus Meena: that's Meena: you're right, no words Tommy: at least he one upped Fraze, I guess Meena: does make that situation seem totally run of the mill in comparison Meena: I have heard it happens Meena: when people who are related but estranged meet Meena: it's like a thing™ Meena: not that that helps you personally, obviously Tommy: Really?! Meena: [sends articles like nerd] Tommy: fucking hell Meena: It's crazy Meena: like you know there should be some strong emotional response but you kinda get it fucked up or something Meena: I don't know, science isn't my forte Tommy: nor mine, but if anyone would get those kind of wires crossed, it would have to be him Tommy: Jesus Meena: at least he didn't have a wife and kids to leave or something like some of these people Meena: it's really sad Tommy: you didn't see her though, she's like Tommy: terrifying Meena: I don't think they have to be a hottie but it probably helps in some cases Tommy: 😂 Meena: how so though? like what was she like Tommy: Alright so if they were putting a modern twist on Frankenstein's monster for the stage she could play that, but she'd need serious anger management first Tommy: electroshock wouldn't be far off, funnily enough Meena: Okay, that does sound scary Meena: even if looks can be deceiving, is the moral my own life has hit home hard, sounds like the insides matched so Tommy: It was like if you took every teenage horror story my ma has told us, scraped off the sugarcoating and then mixed that with the worst shit Fraze has ever done when he's on one, you still wouldn't come close to the mark Meena: I know the sort you mean Meena: no matter how well Drew and Caleb think they do with protecting me, I've had plenty of people approach me asking for them, messing with me Tommy: this once I'm gutted you know what I mean then Tommy: 'cause fuck that Meena: mostly it's the former and it's stupid little kids who want some weed or pills, that's just annoying but yeah Tommy: you know boxing's footwork is dead easy, I could teach you what my dad taught me Tommy: any time you want Meena: thanks Meena: at least my height would finally work in my favour, right? Meena: better reach Tommy: bigger 🎯 too remember Tommy: you have to keep your guard up to protect that face Meena: sounds like you're saying I'm 🌚 Tommy: 😮 Tommy: that's awkward Meena: *frantically googles how to shrink head* Tommy: nah, it's awkward 'cause you grew into your head ages ago & I didn't throw you a 🥳 or anything Tommy: must of happened all of a sudden or without me realising Meena: grew into it?! Meena: so I was a bobblehead before, thanks so much 😂 Tommy: only slightly Meena: I'm only slightly 💔 then Tommy: don't be, it was endearing Tommy: you were a cute kid Meena: okay 👵 Meena: no need to patronize me Meena: my head is only literally big, not metaphorically Tommy: come on, a 🍭 is a great look Meena: Better than a pea-head Tommy: or a 🍐 head like I've got Meena: it's distinguished Meena: be gutted you don't want to be a character actor Tommy: nice save, you can teach me ⚽ when we're done with 🥊 Meena: Sounds good to me Tommy: 👍 Tommy: [show up boy cos the restaurant can't be that far from the pub surely] Meena: [have a nerdy but more chill time, Gus loves everyone he's a good egg, I say you should go to this party for the drama of it all sod it] Tommy: [agreed x 2 the restaurant would have such a nice vibe when Drew and Caleb aren't there which they obviously aren't rn and then yeah we can get more messy with it] Meena: [okay so the plan, we having a lovely time (given the circumstances tonight lol) then her boyf shows up] Tommy: [I just picture her bf being so underwhelming like no offense but he'd have to be someone that Tommy didn't clock on socials so when he realises he's like oh and then dials his campness up to 1000000 being that gay BFF stereotype which she would pick up on immediately cos that's not how he is with her except when he's hiding behind it cos things are uncomfortable between them. I just imagine him raiding Ali & Carly's makeup and wardrobe and making the gayest cocktails he can and getting Meena involved and stealing her attention] Meena: [he wouldn't be and he's also lowkey an arsehole as per her type so he wouldn't be all ❤ on her socials anyway, but all this can be a thing 'cos not seeing the gay boy as a threat and probably wants to get drunk so] Tommy: [don't beat him up Tommy you don't want her to think you're doing it for Drew and Caleb like reasons] Meena: [at least we know you two are distracted] Tommy: [thanks for also getting Carly and Ali involved in your gay antics because we all need whatever fun we can get] Meena: [until you gotta go pregnant Ali] Tommy: [lord, I hope Tommy has left by then] Meena: [lordt] Tommy: [casual 3way with your missus and the less attractive drug dealer in town] Meena: [thank god your genetics are solid underneath that mess boy] Tommy: [and we know Rio looks like Ali anyways] Meena: [you do alright out of it kids] Tommy: [it could be so much worse] Meena: [blame your dad for your insecurities grace] Tommy: [and your evil nan] Meena: [junie is just #unique like no one looking like you boy, the closest is fraze as your uncle] Tommy: [unless he looks like Caleb's dad because we don't know him] Meena: [who can say baby] Tommy: [anyway take a moment to appreciate all the Tommy and Meena dancing everyone, giving you that for free] Meena: [love that] Tommy: [soz shit bf he is a threat because their chemistry especially when they are dancing is ridiculous goodbye] Meena: [deffo gonna get mardy at that and go off to have an argument] Tommy: [are you happy now Thomas? Thought not] Meena: [awkwarddd] Tommy: [get drunker boy that'll totally make it better and not worse] Meena: [cry in the bathroom that's a mood] Tommy: [ruin your make up, oh babe] Meena: [everyone else is so wrecked you'll fit in] Tommy: [by not doing drugs you're one of the least messy] Meena: [exactly dr phil] Meena: [the next day] Meena: Have a safe flight back Tommy: Cheers, I'll probably just 💤 Meena: Can't blame you Tommy: did you get any? Meena: Yeah, I'm fine Meena: had to get up early to clean the restaurant though so not as much as I'd ideally want Tommy: had another 🌱🍏🍈🥬🌿🍐🥝🥒🌼 juice, yeah? Tommy: that's pretty patriotic, you know Tommy: better late than never, like Tommy: throw 🍊🍑🥕 in there too & you're sorted Meena: Yeah, I bet EVERYONE in this fair nation is starting a juice cleanse this AM, not having a fry-up, nah Tommy: 😏 Tommy: green eggs & ham would keep you in theme Meena: 🤢 Tommy: fair 🍳🥞🧇🥓🥐🥯🍞 then Tommy: take your pick Meena: are you gonna post it to me? Tommy: be messy if you're having 🍳 or 🥞 but saves me having to use any words Meena: Probably best to stick to non-perishables Meena: best option for us both, like Tommy: Yeah Meena: How was it, this morning Meena: before you left Tommy: how you'd expect Meena: Yeah Tommy: Bea has to leave too so Fraze's dramatics will take centre stage for a sec but Meena: Distraction is probably the best technique for right now Tommy: worked last night Meena: I bet the parties you have in London are even better Tommy: only 'cause we 🩰 ain't supposed to be partying Meena: and what's more fun than prohibition, sure Tommy: forbidden 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍌🍉🍇🍓🍈🍒🍑🥭🍍🥥🥝 juice is my fave, can't lie Meena: 🙄😏 Meena: enjoy Tommy: you're not supposed to give me your blessing, sucks the fun right out Tommy: forbidden, remember Meena: I'm not a teacher Tommy: yeah you are, whenever Anne needs you Meena: Okay, smartypants Meena: there's nothing I could teach YOU Tommy: not with THAT attitude Meena: 🤨 maybe next time Meena: bring your own 🩰 Tommy: & 🥊 Meena: a look Tommy: the 🩳 are too Meena: what do you wear on your top half though Meena: leotard? Tommy: lads don't usually wear anything to show off 💪 Meena: Who are you showing off to? Tommy: The other lad of course, name a sport that ain't homoerotic Meena: not when you come back here Tommy: when I come back here most of all Meena: no boys in my classes Tommy: Anne's been a letdown from the very beginning, what can I say? Tommy: you're on your own, Meeps Meena: I'll survive Tommy: I know

[entirelymyxwn]

in which the troupe members are all terrible liars

“WD, what in the hell is going on?”

Anne felt like a broken record. She had been asking WD that same question since she woke up. Her older brother, as much as she loved him, was finally starting to get on her very last nerve. He had been acting strange all morning: first keeping her from leaving her room for ten minutes after she was ready, then making sure she didn’t walk through the ring the way she did before every show, and now finally telling her that she couldn’t rehearse her stunts on the main trapeze and that she would have to use the rickety old rig in the back.

“Anne, I told you. PT had someone come in to adjust the ropes. This way it won’t be as choppy when we hit the ground.” WD was trying his best to be convincing, but years of relying on one another had tipped Anne off to his tell: his right eye would twitch every time he told a lie. And today, his right eye wouldn’t stay open. But she also knew his habits, and this insistence on a blatant lie told her that he was not going to budge.

Exhausted from pushing back at him, the young trapeze artist rolled her eyes at her brother and walked toward the old practice rig. Over her shoulder, she called back at him, “You’ve always been a terrible liar, big brother. You can’t keep a secret if your life depended on it!”

Had she been just a few feet closer, she would have heard him mutter, “Wouldn’t bet on it, baby sister.”

•

Anne took out her frustrations on the trapeze, the way she’d been doing since she could walk. Flying through the air, twisting and turning and manipulating the space around her, she felt at home. Life was always so complicated down on the ground; up here, in the sky, everything melted away.

Up in the air, she could focus on the things that meant the most to her. The annoyance she had with WD was gone, ushered away by the realization that he would explain himself in due time. Instead, she spent her rehearsal reflecting on how much her life had changed in a single year.

Ever since PT had stepped away from his place as ringmaster and Phillip had taken up the role, the confidence and exuberance of the circus had only magnified. PT had been a terrific boss, but Phillip had grown into the mantle of ringmaster and revived the troupe with a youthfulness and flair that was unique to him only.

And Anne could not have been more proud to stand beside him, both as a supporting act and a significant other. He always credited her with giving him the courage he needed to pursue his passion, but in truth she knew that they had grown with one another. She was no longer the shy, submissive girl she had been before meeting him. Now, she was powerful and self-assured and bold, and she knew that he had much to do with it. He was the first person to ever be completely open with her, the only person she’d ever known to risk everything for her. Every touch, every kiss between them was scrutinized, but their confidence in one another became the root of their relationship.

A thud from the main tent disrupted her idle musings. Anne swung and flipped off of the trapeze, landing lightly on the ground, and made her way over to the doorway between the tents. Before she could move any further, Lettie ran into her training space and flashed a blinding smile.

“Anne! How’s the new routine coming along? Any new... uh... flips tonight?” the woman asked in earnest.

Anne narrowed her eyebrows at her friend. “Yeah, Lettie, I added a few new flips. Did you hear that noise?” she asked, edging closer to the outside of the tent.

Lettie stuck a hand out to stop her. “Actually, yes! They’re rearranging the set for one of Tom’s numbers. They finally got him the zebra he’s been wanting to ride!”

Anne raised a single eyebrow. “They have to change the layout for a zebra? If anything, it’d be easier, wouldn’t it? Since the zebra will be smaller than the horse he has now.”

“You’d think so, right? But apparently they have really particular, erm, walking habits.”

The younger girl had to laugh. “Really, Lettie? I never would’ve guessed that WD was a better liar. I’m assuming I can’t leave here just yet?”

A tired smile appeared on Lettie’s face. “Right. Yes. Do you mind? I could keep you company if you’re lonely.”

“Don’t worry about it. Could you just make sure Phillip knows where I am? I know he likes to personally make sure that everyone’s ready. And he and I always wish each other luck before every show,” she added shyly.

Her friend beamed at her. “Don’t worry, honey. He knows where you are.” Lettie’s eyes widened immediately. “I mean, yes! I’ll let him know. Have a good rehearsal!”

Honestly, was there a single normal person left in this show?

•

Two hours and about a thousand front tucks later, O’Malley stuck his head in to peek at the old rig. Anne had just stuck her hardest stunt, flipping upside down on her ring and dropping off into a cannonball straight towards the ground. When she looked up, the thief was grinning mischievously.

“Looks good, little lady.”

She laughed breathily. “Why, thank you, sir. Let me guess, you’re here to tell me that I still can’t leave?”

“Actually, Tom sent me to get’cha. Sounded mighty important. He’s up by the bathroom.”

Anne furrowed her brow in confusion. “Huh. Alright. Thanks, O’Malley. By the way, do you know where Phillip might be?”

She immediately knew something was up, because the man’s eyes stopped darting around the room and focused on a spot in the sky. “Nope. No, miss. Haven’t seen the fella. If I had, I woulda tried to get my hands on that pocketwatch.”

Anne rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I’m sure you could afford your own now, buddy.”

•

Anne was officially concerned. It was half an hour to showtime, and not a single person was in sight. The whole way up to the bathrooms, the tent had felt eerily quiet. In fact, the only signs of life were coming from the main rings: footsteps and overlapping voices drew her attention, but the Irish giant had been standing at the entrance and urged her on to find Tom.

When she finally made it to the troupe bathrooms, Tom was standing in the sink, holding her best wig delicately in his hands. “I think we’ve gotta get you gussied up tonight, Anne!”

She quirked an eyebrow. “It’s a Tuesday in March, Tom. What makes tonight so special?”

The man glared at her and thrust the wig into her hands. “Do you have to ruin my mood, Anne? I got a frickin’ zebra waiting for me downstairs, that’s what’s special. Now get some glitter on your face and shine, lady!”

“Okay, alright! Goodness. Any other requests?”

“As a matter of fact, yeah. Gimme a nice smile and try to enjoy this one. I really want this to go well, alright?”

Anne’s face softened. Tom was the only one all day that had been genuine with her. “You got it, my friend. Hey, any idea where Phillip might be?”

At that very moment, she heard loud footsteps outside the doorway.

“Phillip!” she called, recognizing his crimson jacket immediately.

He turned around rapidly, left hand tucked into his back pocket. He flashed a quick smile, but his eyes glazed over her and moved back down towards the main tent. “Hi, baby. I hope you had a good day.”

“Actually, I—“

“Anne, I’m sorry, but there’s still so much to do and only ten minutes to curtain. But I’ll find you afterwards, alright?”

She frowned as he began to walk away. “Phillip! You’re forgetting something.”

His eyes widened as he hurried back to her side, pressed a rushed kiss to her lips and then her temple, and sped out towards the stage alone.

The hurt Anne felt must have been spelled across her face, because Tom tugged on her hand and gave her a wide smile. “Come on, girlie. You’ve got a performance to give. Now show me those pearly whites!”

•

The show ran as smooth as ever. Phillip, ever the showman, has put on his most energetic smile for the crowd. He had taken her hand in the opening number, though the faint twinge of sadness still stung her chest. Otherwise, it was like any other night. Contrary to what Lettie had told her, the setup of the ring was largely the same; it seemed the switch from horse to zebra wasn’t as drastic as everyone had thought.

Anne and WD’s aerial routine was a highlight, her dangerous flips and twirls drawing cheers and gasps from the crowd. She couldn’t help but peek at Phillip’s reaction after each landing, but he was whispering madly to Lettie and hardly paying her any attention. Anne threw herself through the skies with more passion in response, as if she were trying to swing away from the sting of his dismissal.

By the time the final number rolled around, she was thoroughly unenthused. The only thing keeping her from ditching the dance completely was Tom’s encouraging smile as he rode around the ring on his zebra. Though her heart wasn’t in the choreography, the crowd cheered as loud as ever.

Just as she and the troupe belted out the final few notes, she extended her hand toward Phillip’s the way she always did. This time, though, her ringmaster wasn’t in his usual spot.

Great, she thought. Now I look even more foolish.

That was when she noticed that nobody was looking at her. Instead, everyone was pointing towards the ceiling. Anne looked up and gasped loudly, tears welling in her eyes.

Phillip was swinging on her rope, descending the height of the tent slowly, beaming from ear to ear. As his feet touched the ground, Anne noticed that his right hand was clenched tightly at his side. He walked directly towards her, smile unwavering, and planted a sound kiss on her lips. She stood in surprise for a second before wrapping her arms around his neck, unable to help the smile that spread as she kissed him back.

Finally, he let her go and stood in front of her, adjusting his coat and clearing his throat before speaking.

“Anne, I love you. I your soul, your selfless heart. I love the way you’ve inspired me to become a better version of myself. And I love that you are the one I was meant to find. You are by far the most extraordinary woman I have ever had the pleasure of knowing or the privilege of loving. You make me strong, you support me, and you inspire me every single day. And just as I know how sensational you are, I know that the family we make will be just as breathtaking. So, Anne Wheeler,” he breathed before bending on one knee, opening his right hand to reveal a glittering white gold band that featured a single sparkling round diamond. Her hand flew to her mouth as tears began to fall down her face. “Will you do me the greatest honor of my life? Will you marry me?”

Anne tried to speak, but the words caught in her throat. She wiped hot tears off of her cheeks. The tent was silent, waiting anxiously to hear her reply. She sobbed once more before nodding vigorously. “I will. Yes, Phillip, yes!”

The room erupted. The crowd was screaming with joy, a sight she would have never dreamed she would see. The troupe behind her, her chosen family, was crying right alongside her. Phillip beamed, eyes teary, as he slipped the brilliant ring onto her finger. His strong arms wrapped around her frame as he dipped his head to kiss her once again, and they shared a split second of solitude before WD and the rest of the troupe swallowed them in cheers and hugs. He held her hand the whole time, and after everyone had bid their congratulations and well wishes, they locked eyes and beamed at one another, in love and enthralled with the life that awaited them.

[crowleyshellhoundspn]

^This was the reference photo

My Jensen story is much shorter. First off he smells like a man should smell. Just a nice aftershave that was a cross between old Spice and Irish spring. Now moving on,lol. I wanted a specific type of pose from the show. A lot of people keep calling it a Charlie hug, but it's not. It's with Dean and Charlie but this hug held a completely different meaning from all their other hugs. This was from the episode 'Pac-Man Fever' when Dean woke Charlie up from the djinn dream and she ran into his arms crying. That hug was full of protection, sadness, and understanding. So that's the pose I went for. I showed him the pic, we took the photo and then he went, " Chris let's do one more." Now I was completely out of his arms at this point as he just pulled me back in. We took it again, I gave gimme a quick squeeze and said thank you. This was our photo:

[imagekeepr]

IN MUSIC BANNED

*** VIDEOSS A "A Day in the Life" – The Beatles (1967) ... BBC - suggestive line, "..we’d love to turn you on..” "A Pair of Brown Eyes" - The Pougues ... BBC's Top of the Pops - a music video ban "A Rose and a Baby Ruth" – George Hamilton IV (1956) ... BBC - thought to be advertising, although the candy bar Baby Ruth was not sold in the UK "A Russian Love Song" – The Goons (1957) ... BBC - ridicules the cold war "A Theme from the Threepenny Opera (Mack the Knife)" – Louis Armstrong (1956) ... banned by: NYC radio, BBC - bloodthirsty words *** "A Whiter Shade Of Pale" - Procol Harum (1967) ... Top Of The Pops - the usage of Vietnam War newsreel footage. "A Worried Man" – The Kingston Trio (1959) ... BBC - didn’t like the word “closet” being used for “cupboard”. "A-huggin' and A-chalkin'" – Johnny Mercer (1946) ... BBC /USA - offensive to fat people ** "All For You" - Janet Jackson (2001) ... Singapore - lyrics to 'Would You Mind', were too sexually explicit and not acceptable to their society "Anarchy in the UK" - Sex Pistols (1976) ... BBC - banned following their controversial appearance on the TV news programme, Today. "Annie Had A Baby" - Hank Ballard & The Midnighters (1954) ... banned for radio play by the FCC. overtly sexual lyrics "Annie's Aunt Fannie" - Hank Ballard & The Midnighters (1954) ... banned for radio play by the FCC. overtly sexual lyrics "Angels in the Sky" – The Crew-Cuts (1955) ... BBC - Thought too offensive by the head of religious broadcasting "Answer Me" – Frankie Laine (1953) ... BBC - objection by head of religious broadcasting as a "sentimental mockery of Christian prayer" "Armchair Anarchist" - Kingmaker (1992) ... BBC/others - offensive lyrics "Bomb the idiots" and "Viva Dynamite" ** "As Nasty As They Wanna Be" (1989 album) - 2 Live Crew ... USA - Southern District of Florida ruled that the album was legally obscene. B "Baby Got Back" - Sir Mix-A-Lot (1992) ... MTV - briefly banned the outrageous video about women with big butts, and men who like them. "Baby, Let Me Follow You Down" – Bob Dylan (1962) ... BBC - objection by head of religious broadcasting "Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) - Cher () ... BBC - banned during Gulf War "Baubles, Bangles and Beads" – Kirby Stone Four (1958) ... BBC - "pop" version of classical piece, Alexander Borodin's String Quartet in D "Be Prepared" – Tom Lehrer (1953) ... BBC - sexually suggestive "Beep Beep" – The Playmates (1958) ... BBC - the mention of Cadillac and Nash Rambler considered advertising, also promoted dangerous driving. "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite!" - The Beatles ... BBC - the phrase "Henry the Horse", contains two common slang terms for heroin. "Big 6, Big 7,Big 8, 10 etc" - Judge Dredd (1972-75) ... BBC - sexual references and swear words. "Big Boys Bickering" - Paul McCartney ... BBC - overtly political message "Bitch" - The Rolling Stones ... many radio stations - sexual content and outrageous title. "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered" – Ella Fitzgerald (1958) ... BBC - content where considered objectionable. "Be Chrool To Your Scuel" - Twisted Sister (1985) ... MTV - banned the video for excessive violence and gore "Blurred Lines" - Robin Thicke (2013) ... YouTube - banned the music video featuring nude models. (a new video was shot with clothed models) "Bobby Brown" - Frank Zappa (1979) ... USA - sexually explicit lyrics "Bring The Boys Home" - Freda Payne (1971) ... American Forces Network - fear that it would "give aid and comfort to the enemy" "Body Language" - Queen (1982) ... MTV ... music video blatantly sexy and too racey "Boom Bang-a-Bang" – Lulu (1969) ... BBC - banned during Gulf War "Burn My Candle" – Shirley Bassey (1956) ... BBC - risqué connotations C "(Celebrate) The Day After You" – The Blow Monkeys and Curtis Mayfield (1987) ... Australia, BBC Can't Stand Losing You - The Police (1978) ... BBC - morbid content (teenager who commits suicide) Cardiac Arrest - Madness (1981) ... BBC - lyrical content, "gasping for the hot air, but the chest pain it won't go" etc "Charlie Brown" – The Coasters (1959) ... BBC - the "disgusting, delinquent word" spitball "Come Together" – The Beatles (1970) ... BBC - product placement with the lyrics "He shoot Coca-Cola" "Come Again" – Au Pairs (1981) BBC ... refers to orgasms "Cop Killer" - Body Count (1992) ... USA / New Zealand - vile messages and promoting anti-police sentiment. ”Cortez The Killer” - Neil Young (1975) ... some Spanish speaking countries/stations - criticism of one of their national heroes "Cradle Song (Brahms' Lullaby)" – Frank Sinatra (1944) ... BBC - disrespectful to classical music "Croce di Oro (Cross of Gold)" – Joan Regan (1955) ... BBC - objection by head of religious broadcasting as sentimentalisation of religion "Crazy Horses" - The Osmonds (1972) ... South Africa - "horses" is a slang term for heroin there, so it was thought to be referring to drugs. "Crying in the Chapel" – Lee Lawrence (1953) ... BBC - objection by head of religious broadcasting because it was "nauseating". "Cuddle Me" – Ted Heath ft Dennis Lotis (1954) ... BBC - lewd and suggestive D "Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover" - Sophie B. Hawkins (1992) ... MTV - rejected the original version of the video on grounds of erotic content. "Danny Boy" – Conway Twitty (1959) ... BBC - Conway Twitty holds the distinction of having recorded the only version of “Danny Boy” to have been banned! "Deep in the Heart of Texas" – Bing Crosby and Woody Herman (1942) ... BBC - too infectious "Devil Woman" - Marty Robbins ... Eire - adulterous theme ** "Devils and Dust" - Bruce Springsteen (2005 album) ... Starbucks, USA - concerns about adult content and his stances on corporate politics "Diggin' My Potatoes" – Lonnie Donegan (1954) ... BBC - lyrics not suitable "Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead" - Judy Garland ... BBC - found it disrespectful when a Facebook campaign and other anti-Thatcher camps tried do make the song a No.1 hit after the sad death of former British prime minister Margaret Thatcher. "Dinner with Drac" – John Zacherle (1958) ... BBC - lyrics considered despicable "Don't Let's Be Beastly to the Germans" – Noël Coward (1943) BBC ... WWII reminder of Germany "Don't Stop (Wiggle Wiggle)" - The Outhere Brothers ... BBC / others - shockingly explicit "Disarm" - Smashing Pumpkins (1994) BBC ... banned the song from appearing on Top of the Pops, because of the lyric "cut that little child". E "Ebeneezer Goode" – The Shamen (1992) ... BBC - drug fuelled song, "Eezer Goode..." in the chorus sounds like E's are good. "Ebony Eyes" – The Everly Brothers (1961) ... BBC - death song, too morbid. "Eight Miles High - The Byrds () ... USA - drug connotations in its lyrics. ** "Electric Ladyland" - Jimi Hendrix Experience (1968 album) ... many retail stores - the cover depicted nineteen nude women lounging in front of a black background. "Eve of Destruction" – Barry McGuire (1965) ... BBC - on the restricted list, for its bombast; USA - "it was an aid to the enemy in Vietnam" F "F--k tha Police" - N.W.A (1988) ... USA / other countries - encouraged violence against, and disrespect for, law enforcement officers. "Fairytale of New York" – The Pogues ft Kirsty MacColl (1987) - BBC/UK MTV - banned the words "faggot" and "slut" "Fat Bottomed Girls" - Queen (1978) ... Shops and Stores - the cover featured a nude woman riding a bicycle; the new version was the same image with panties drawn over the woman. "Feel Good Hit Of The Summer" - Queens of the Stone Age (2000) ... many radio stations / Wal-Mart - the lyrics list drugs: nicotine, valium, vicodin, ecstasy, marijuana, alcohol and cocaine "French Kiss" – Lil Louis (1989) ... BBC - too much heavy breathing G "Gimme a Pigfoot (And a Bottle of Beer)" – Bessie Smith (1933) ... BBC - unsuitable content "Girl Don't Come" - Sandie Shaw (1964) ... Because of this song although it reached number 42 on the Billboard Hot 100, Sandy was unable to do US promotion – including a Shindig! appearance scheduled for March – due to the U.S. Federation of TV and Radio Artists refusing her a US work permit "Give Ireland Back to the Irish" – Wings (1972) ... BBC - political, references to Northern Ireland. "Glad to Be Gay" – Tom Robinson Band (1978) ... BBC - refernces to the gay community "Gloomy Sunday" – Billie Holiday (1941) ... BBC - just.. bad taste! "God Bless the Child" – Billie Holiday (1942) ... BBC - unsuitable for broadcast because of its title - prayers in popular music were not allowed. "God Only Knows" - The Beach Boys (1966) ... Some USA radio stations - deemed as blasphamy having a pop song with God in the title. Because of this, it was released as the B-side of "Wouldn't It Be Nice" in the United States. In other countries, "God Only Knows" was the single's A-side. "God Save the Queen" – Sex Pistols (1977) ... BBC - vulgar and offensive Goodbye Earl - Dixie Chicks (1999) ... Some radio stations - stirred controversy for its take on spousal abuse and banned by several male radio programmers. "Great Balls of Fire" - Jerry Lee Lewis () ... Some radio stations - sexual innuendoes "Green Jeans" – The Flee-Rekkers (1960) ... BBC - mutilation of the classics, "distortion of melody, harmony and rhythm" "Greensleeves" – The Beverley Sisters (1956) ... BBC - mutilation of the classics, "distortion of melody, harmony and rhythm" "Guess Things Happen That Way" – Johnny Cash (1958) ... BBC - objected to by head of religious broadcasting "Gypsy Roadhog - Slade (1977) ... BBC - references to drugs H "Hall Of The Mountain King" - Nero & The Gladiators (1961) ... BBC - the banning of pop versions of classical tunes policy. "Have a Whiff on Me" – Mungo Jerry (1971) ... BBC - drug references "Hard Headed Woman" – Elvis Presley (1958) ... BBC - religious theme, BUT it could be played, only with special permission "He" – Al Hibbler/Robert Earl (1955) ... BBC - objected to by the head of religious broadcasting as being solely for commercial gain. "He Bought My Soul At Calvary" - Jo Stafford (1951) ... BBC - objection by head of religious broadcasting as a 'misguided' presentation of the Gospel "Hi, Hi, Hi" – Wings (1972) ... BBC - explicit sexual lyrics "High Class Baby" – Cliff Richard and the Drifters (1958) ... BBC - considered to be advertising Cadillac cars "Hold My Hand" – Don Cornell (1954) ... BBC - objection by head of religious broadcasting, a girlfriend cannot be compared to the "kingdom of heaven" **"Holy Wood (In The Shadow Of The Valley Of Death)" - Marilyn Manson (2000 album) ... many retail stores - refused to stock the album, the cover art, depicting Manson on a crucifix "Homosapien" - Pete Shelley (1982) ... BBC - banned because of the line "Homo superior in my interior" "Honey Hush" – The Rock and Roll Trio/Johnny Burnette (1956) ... BBC - sexual lyrics and promotes violence. "Honey Love" – Dennis Lotis (1954) ... BBC - objection by head of religious broadcasting, lewd and suggestive "Honeycomb" – Jimmie Rodgers (1957) ... BBC - objection by head of religious broadcasting "Honky Tonk Angel" - Cliff Richard (1975) ... Cliff found out a "honky tonk angel" was a hooker he withdrew the record. "(How Little It Matters) How Little We Know" – Frank Sinatra (1956) ... BBC - objection by head of religious broadcasting, lewd and suggestive "House Of The Rising Sun" - Josh White ... BBC - lyrics about prostitution I "I Am the Walrus" – The Beatles (1967) "I Can't Control Myself" – The Troggs (1966) ... BBC - sexual reference "I Hear the Angels Singing" – Frankie Laine (1954) "I Leaned on a Man" – Connie Francis (1957) "I Want To Be Evil" – Eartha Kitt (1953) ... BBC - title and content where considered objectionable. "I Want You to Be My Baby" – Annie Ross (1956) "I Want Your Sex" - George Michael (1987) ... BBC - banned between the hours of 5:50am-9pm "I Went to Your Wedding" – Spike Jones and His City Slickers (1953) "I'll Be Home for Christmas" – Bing Crosby (1943) "I'm Always Chasing Rainbows" – Perry Como (1949)/Ken Dodd (1963) ... BBC - "pop" version of a classical piece, Frédéric Chopin's Fantaisie-Impromptu. "I'm Nobody's Baby" – Frankie Howerd (1948) "Imagine" - John Lennon (1971) ... BBC - banned during the Gulf War "In the Air Tonight" – Phil Collins (1981) ... BBC - banned during the Gulf War "In the Beginning" – Frankie Laine (1955) ... BBC - objected to by the head of religious broadcasting "In the Hall of the Mountain King" – Nero and the Gladiators (1961) "Invisible Sun" – The Police (1981) ... BBC - due to the content of the song, violence and turmoil in Northern Ireland "It Is No Secret" – Jo Stafford (1954) "It Wasn't God Who Made Honky Tonk Angels" – Kitty Kallen (1962) "It Would Be So Nice" – Pink Floyd (1968) "I've Come of Age" – Billy Storm (1959) J "Jackie" – Scott Walker (1967) ... BBC - refers to "authentic queers" "Je t'aime... moi non plus" – Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsbourg (1969) ... BBC - sexual references "John and Marsha" – Stan Freberg (1950) ... BBC - sexual, too suggestive "Johnny Remember Me" – John Leyton (1961) ... BBC - death song, too morbid. "Jungle Fever" – The Chakachas (1972) ***"Justify My Love" - Madonna (1990 video) ... MTV - sexual content . K "Keep Me in Mind" – Lita Roza and Al Timothy (1955) "Killing an Arab" – The Cure (1979) ... BBC - banned during the Gulf War "Kodachrome" – Paul Simon (1973) ... BBC - would not play the trademarked name. L "La Petite Tonkenoise" – Josephine Baker (1930) "Lazy Mary" – Lou Monte (1958) ... BBC - Italian lyric deemed objectionable "Leader of the Pack" – The Shangri-Las (1964) ... BBC - death song, too morbid. "Let the People Go" – McGuinness Flint (1972) "Let's Spend the Night Together" – The Rolling Stones (1967) ... BBC - encourages promiscuity "Light a Candle in the Chapel" – Frank Sinatra (1942) ... BBC - objection by head of religious broadcasting, the song was "so nauseatingly sentimental that it debased the Christian religion". "Light My Fire" – Jose Feliciano (1968) ... BBC - banned during the Gulf War "Lili Marleen" – Lale Andersen (1939) "Little Star" – The Elegants (1958) ... BBC - objection by head of religious broadcasting to use of God in a pop song. "Louie Louie" - Kingsmen (1957) ... Indiana USA declared it pornographic "Lola" – The Kinks (1970) ... BBC - banned for advertising coca cola, until they changed the lyrics. "Louie Louie" - The Kingsmen (1963) ... USA - FBI investigation supposed obscenity of the lyrics, an investigation that ended without prosecution. "Love for Sale" – Cole Porter (1930) / Ella Fitzgerald (1956) ... BBC - sexual references, prostitution. "Love Is a Word" – Alma Cogan (1965) "Love Is Strange" – Mickey & Sylvia (1956) ... BBC - the line "love is money in the hand" would encourage prostitution "Love to Love You Baby" – Donna Summer (1975) ... BBC - too much heavy breathing, grunts and groans. ** "Lovesexy" - Prince (1988 album) ... Shops around the world - nude photo of Prince on cover "Lovin' Machine" – Wynonie Harris (1951) ... BBC - crude implications associated with a "lovin' machine" "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" – The Beatles (1967) ... BBC - drug refernces M "Mack the Knife" – Bobby Darin (1959) ... banned by: NYC radio, BBC - bloodthirsty words "Made You" – Adam Faith (1960) ... BBC - sexual references "Maggie May" – The Vipers Skiffle Group (1957) ... BBC - song is about a prostitute "Maybellene" – Chuck Berry (1955) "Mighty Mighty Man" – Bobby Darin (1958) "Minnie the Moocher" – Cab Calloway (1931) "Miss Morse" - Pearls Before Swine (1967) ... USA radio - Tom Rapp was singing F-U-C-K in Morse code "Miss You" – Bing Crosby (1942) ... BBC - The War Office felt that it too sentimental and might lower morale at home "Monster Mash" – Bobby "Boris" Pickett and the Crypt-Kickers (1962) ... BBC - it was offensive and in poor taste. "Moonlight Love" – Perry Como (1956) ... BBC - mutilation of the classics, took it’s melody from Debussy "My Christmas Prayer" – Billy Fury (1959) ... BBC - religious grounds. "My Friend" – Eddie Fisher (1954) "My Friend Jack" – The Smoke (1967) "My Generation" - The Who (1965) ... BBC - initially refused to play the song because it might offend people who stutter. "My Little Ukulele" – Joe Brown and The Bruvvers (1963) ... BBC - "too rique" N "Night of the Vampire" – The Moontrekkers (1961) "Ninety-Nine Years (Dead or Alive)" – Guy Mitchell (1961) "Nobody Loves Like an Irishman" – Lonnie Donegan (1958) ... BBC - Line about the Quran deemed to be offensive to Muslims O "(Oh) Pretty Woman" - Van Halen (1982) ... MTV aired the video very sparingly - too racey and distasteful "Old Man Atom" – The Sons of the Pioneers (1950) ... BBC - Controversial topics such as the atom bomb "One Has My Name (The Other Has My Heart)" – Jimmy Wakely (1948) ... BBC - encouraged adultery "Open Your Box" - Yoko Ono Plastic Ono Band (1970) ... BBC - banned because of the line "Open your legs" "Original Prankster" - The Offspring (2000) ... HMV stores - refused to stock the record after the band decided to give the track away as a free download on their official website, prior to it's release. P "Paper Doll" – The Mills Brothers (1943) ... BBC - theme of feminine unfaithfulness. deemed unacceptable during war time. "Peaches" – The Stranglers (1977) ... BBC - too "woman baiting" "Peaceful Street" – Ernest Butcher (1936) **"Permission To Land" - The Darkness (2003 album) ... Wal-Mart - the album sleeve featured a woman's bottom. "Plastic Jesus" - King Earl Boogie Band ... BBC - on grounds of blasphemy. "Please No Squeeza da Banana" – Louis Prima (1963) Q R "Radio Times" – The BBC Dance Orchestra (1935) "Randy Scouse Git" - The Monkees (19--) ... BBC - title was "actually somewhat taboo to the British audience" it was re-released as "Alternate Title" "Reefer Man " - Fats Waller () ... BBC - drug references "Relax" – Frankie Goes to Hollywood (1984) ... BBC - sexual references "Rock You Sinners" – Art Baxter and His Rock 'n' Roll Sinners (1958) "Rockin' Through The Rye" - Bill Haley and His Comets (1956) ... BBC - the song went against traditional British standards and used 50's hip slang. "Rum and Coca-Cola" – The Andrews Sisters (1945) ... BBC - advertising Coca -Cola ”Rumble” - Link Wray (1959) ... USA certain stations - although an instrumental the title was thought too suggestive of teen violence. S "Sad Affair" – Marxman (1993) ... BBC - contains IRA slogan "Saturday Nite at the Duckpond" – The Cougars (1963) ... BBC - "pop" versions of a classical piece "Say a Prayer for the Boys Over There" – Deanna Durbin (1943) "Send Me to the 'lectric Chair" – George Melly (1953) "Shall We Take a Trip" – Northside (1990) "She Had to Go and Lose It at the Astor" – Johnny Messner (1939) "She Was Only a Postmaster's Daughter" – Durium Dance Band (1933) **"Sheryl Crow" - Sheryl Crow (1996 album) ... Wal-Mart - The song "Love Is a Good Thing" contains the lyrics "Watch out sister, watch out brother, watch our children while they kill each other with a gun they bought at Walmart discount stores". "Sincerely" – Liberace (1955) ... BBC - "Sixty Minute Man" – The Dominoes (1951) ... BBC - sexually suggestive "Song of India" – Tommy Dorsey (1938) ... BBC - because it was based on a classical work, Rimsky-Korsakov's Sadko. "So What?" – Anti-Nowhere League (1981) ... BBC - obscene, contains the word fuck countless times, references to drugs, bestiality and STIs. "Soldier" – Harvey Andrews (1972) ... BBC - lest feelings be exacerbated in the nationalist community of Northern Ireland, or the British public be incited to attack innocent Irish people. The Ministry of Defence still advises British soldiers not to sing the song in pubs "Somebody Up There Likes Me" – Perry Como (1956) ... BBC - head of religious broadcasting objection . "Spasticus Autisticus" - Ian Dury (1981) ... BBC - deemed the lyrics offensive "Statue of Liberty" – XTC (1978) ... BBC - the lyrics "In my fantasy I sail beneath your skirt". 'Star Star' - Rolling Stones (1973) ... BBC - it contained the word "Star-fucker" in the chorus a dozen times. "St. Therese of the Roses" – Malcolm Vaughan (1956) ... BBC - head of religious broadcasting felt it was contrary to Catholic and Protestant beliefs "Stranger in Paradise" – The Four Aces (1953) ... BBC - "prohibited from broadcast due to unacceptable performance" disrespectful to the classics. "Street Fighting Man" - Rolling Stones (1968) ... several radio stations in Chicago, IL. - Authorities feared it might incite public disorder. "Such a Night" – Johnnie Ray (1954) ... BBC - lewd and suggestive "Summer Smash" – Denim (1997) ... EMI self-banned - the planned release date was in the same period when Princess Diana died by a car crash. T "Teen Angel" – Mark Dinning (1959) ... BBC - death song, too morbid. "Teenage Prayer" – Gale Storm (1955) "Tell Laura I Love Her" – Ray Peterson/Ricky Valance (1960) ... BBC - death song, too morbid. "Terry" – Twinkle (1964) ... BBC - death song, too morbid. "The Ballad Of John and Yoko" - The Beatles ... Spain/USA various radio stations - mention of crucifixion offended radio listeners. "The Battle of New Orleans" – Johnny Horton (1959) "The Blue Danube" – Spike Jones and His City Slickers (1945) ... BBC - takes liberties with a serious work of music "The Christening" – Arthur Askey (1943) "The Cover of Rolling Stone" – Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show (1973) "The Deck of Cards" – T. Texas Tyler (1948) "The Devil Is a Woman" – Herb Jeffries (1957) "The Foggy, Foggy, Dew" – Peter Pears (1950) "The Garden of Eden" – Frankie Vaughan (1957) ... BBC - song is "fairly blasphemous" "The Heel" – Eartha Kitt (1955) "The Man with the Golden Arm" – Eddie Calvert (1956) ... BBC - although it's an instrumental, the BBC objected to the sordid nature of the film!! "The Mocking Bird" – The Four Lads (1952) "The Monster Mash" - Bobby (Boris) Pickett and the Crypt-Kickers (1962) ... BBC - too morbid *** "The Next Day" - David Bowie (2013 video) ... Youtube (temporarily) - its graphic content "The Old Dope Peddler" – Tom Lehrer (1953) "The Reefer Song (If You're a Viper)" – Fats Waller (1943) "The Sabre Dance" – Woody Herman (1948) "The Shag (Is Totally Cool)" – Billy Graves (1958) ... BBC - the shag is a dance, but also it is slang for sexual intercourse "The Silver Madonna" – Kirk Stevens (1957) "The Sky" – Petula Clark (1957) "The Story of a Starry Night" – Glenn Miller (1954) ... BBC - distorted representation of the original Tchaikovsky's Sixth Symphony "The Story Of My Life" - Alma Cogan (1958) ... BBC - too morbid, refers to death "The Story of Three Loves" – Ray Martin (1957) "The Test of Time" – Robert Earl (1959) "The Tommy Rot Story" – Morris & Mitch (1957) "The Unbeliever" – Guy Mitchell (1957) "The Voice in My Heart" – Eydie Gormé (1958) "The Winker's Song" - Ivor Biggun (1978) ... BBC - sexual references "They're Coming to Take Me Away Ha-Haaa!" – Napoleon XIV (1966) "Three Stars" – Ruby Wright (1959) "Til the Following Night" – Screaming Lord Sutch (1961) "Till the End of Time" – Perry Como (1945) "Ting Tong Tang" – Ken Platt (1958) "To Keep My Love Alive" – Ella Fitzgerald (1956) "Toll the Bell Easy" – Les Hobeaux (1957) "Too Drunk to Fuck" – Dead Kennedys (1981) "Tribute to Buddy Holly" – Mike Berry and The Outlaws (1961) U ”Unknown Soldier” - The Doors () ... USA - political, the song’s anti-war stance. "Urban Guerrilla" – Hawkwind (1973) V W "Wake Up Little Suzie" - Everley Brothers ... USA certain stations - would influence and corrupt teenagers. "Walk Hand in Hand" – Tony Martin (1956) ... BBC - religous reasons, disrespectful to God. "We Call It Acieeed" – D-Mob (1988) "We Can't Let You Broadcast That" – Norman Long (1932) ... BBC - made fun of the BBC's policies of 'banning' recordings "(We Don't Need This) Fascist Groove Thang" – Heaven 17 (1981) ... BBC - concerns by Radio 1's legal department that it libeled Reagan. "We Have to Be So Careful" – The Beverley Sisters (1953) ... BBC - because it ridiculed BBC policy "We Will All Go Together When We Go" – Tom Lehrer (1959) "Wet Dream" – Max Romeo (1969) ... BBC - due to its lyrics which are of an explicit sexual nature "When I'm Cleaning Windows" – George Formby (1936) ... BBC - Sexual innuendo, too racy, "A disgusting little ditty" "Whoa Buck" – Lonnie Donegan (1959) "With My Little Stick of Blackpool Rock" – George Formby (1937) "With My Little Ukelele in Hand" – George Formby (1933) "Woman Love" – Gene Vincent (1956) ... BBC - lyrics offensive and can't be understood. "Work With Me, Annie" - Hank Ballard & the Midnighters (1954) ... banned for radio play by the FCC. overtly sexual lyrics "Worried Man" - Kingston Trio (1959) ... BBC - didn’t like the word “closet” being used for “cupboard”. X Y "You'll Get Yours" – Frank Sinatra (1956) *** "You're All I Need" - Mötley Crüe (1987 video) ... MTV - because of the level of violence.