#gillion has a lil crush on him To Me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

starboy-acer · 5 months ago

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"you've been scared of love, and what it did to you" [FnC]

(im so deadass when i say i was writing something completely different while listening to I Feel It Coming by the weeknd and all of the neurons in my brain fired at once, i froze, and immediately opened tumblr to write this at 1:26 am and scheduled to post it on pride month) (gillion is taller btw)

Gillion Tidestrider and Chip James have an interesting relationship. One might even say that their friendship has been strained lately. Most of the crew can tell that something has happened in private-- that not even Jay was made aware of-- that has caused their once close 'bromance' to fade away, a shadow of what they once were surrounding them like a fog when they were near each other.

They're still able to cooperate with each other. Of course they are, they almost have to since they're co-captains, but it's very clear to the whole crew that they are not what they once were.

What the crew doesn't know is why they're like this. What happened to make them drift apart?

It was a particularly cold night on the sea. The crew was traveling to Horsea to visit Ichabod for some sort of urgent matter. Chip was out on the deck of the ship, overlooking the dark waves crashing against the side of The Albatross. He silently listened to the sound of the ocean and his own breathing as he took in the smell of the salty spray kissing his face.

Gillion quietly approached Chip from the captains' quarters on the other side of the ship. Chip heard the taller man approach him and turned with a smile. "Gill! Couldn't sleep?"

"It's hard for me to sleep knowing that you are up here instead of in your bed." Gillion stood beside Chip as Chip moved over slightly to avoid touching Gillion's shoulder.

Gillion looked over at Chip. "Why are you awake? We only have a few days of rest left before we get to Horsea."

"I was just thinking a lil' too hard, I guess. Came up here for some fresh air."

"Thinking about what?"

Chip looked over at Gillion. Gillion's sea green eyes glistened as the moon perfectly lit him up. The moisture on his skin made it look like his entire body was lit up with stars. To Chip, Gillion looked like he was made from pure stardust mixed with crushed moon rocks. He was nothing short of beautiful.

That made Chip uncomfortable.

Chip "Everyone I love leaves me" James was completely infatuated with Gillion Tidestrider.

"Uhm... Thinking about... Nothing- It's nothing." Chip stuttered and looked away. He could hear his own breathing quicken.

Gillion leaned it where his face was in front of Chip's, his lips a mere few inches from Chip's nose. "What's wrong, Chip?"

The two men stood under the cool moonlight. Their eye contact was so intense it was almost as if their souls were intertwining as they stood on the deck of their shared ship. Chip's chest puffed out as his breathing hitched. Gillion's eyes stared directly into Chip's and Chip couldn't help but stare back.

Finally, Chip backed away and turned around to avoid Gillion's gaze. Gillion had no clue that what he was doing was affecting Chip in any particular way either. Chip knew this, and that might've made it worse. "I'm fine, Gillion. Go away."

Chip's tone cut through Gillion like a knife. Gillion wasn't always the best at feelings, but he knew he definitely felt something for his co-captain. Watching Chip as he confidently blew through their adventures and made plans on a head all while struggling to deal with the most horrific situations Gillion has ever seen has made Gillion not only grow a respect for him, but also a feel of admiration and affection. Gillion wasn't always good with words either, but he knew that Chip did not mean what he was saying in the slightest. Something was bothering him, and Gillion was determined to find out why.

"Chip," Gillion walked closer to him and laid a hand on his shoulder. "You can talk-"

Chip shrugged his hand off and spun around with a singular tear glistening on his cheek and another welling up at the corner of his eye. Chip didn't like what he was feeling. He knew that if he had grown too attached to Gillion, Gillion would eventually die or leave or, even worse, betray him in some way. To prevent that, Chip now had to keep Gillion at an arm's length, literally.

"Don't fuckin' touch me, man. I'm serious. I'm fine. Just go to sleep."

Chip didn't stay to hear what Gillion had to say; he simply walked over to the head of the ship to be the furthest away from him as he possibly could. Meanwhile, Gillion stood there for a moment. His webbed feet were planted-- cemented-- on the wooden boards of the deck. He watched as Chip's silhouette shrunk as he increased the distance between them. Gillion had felt a lot of things in his life, and this feeling could only be related to when he had to turn his back on his sister and leave her in the Undersea. He felt that same anguish in his heart, just on a smaller scale, as he did then.

Somehow, he lifted his feet from the ground, and slowly trekked back to the captains' quarters. He crawled into his barrel and sat there in silence for the rest of the night, not managing to get any sleep.

The next morning is when their friendship started to go downhill. Gillion would try to reach out to Chip just to be met with harsh words and physical separation. Eventually, Gillion simply didn't know what to do, so he did what he knew best to do. He waited for the moment to confront him privately. He thought over what he would say and do when he finally got the proper chance. He figured that his best bet was to form another ice ring, but he knew Chip wouldn't be pleased about that. He decided on waiting for another late night where Chip was on the deck to confront him.

Their time at Horsea had come and gone before Gillion got his chance. The night after they left Horsea and the cities they visited there, Gillion peeked out from his barrel to find Chip gone. He exited the captains' quarters, trying his hardest not to wake Jay, and walked onto the deck of The Albatross. The ship was currently docked at Allport. The crew was told to keep a low profile until the morning when they would sail out of the Horsea section and into The Southern Sea. Gillion looked around to find Chip nowhere to be found. Concern fostered in Gillion's core. He looked around at any sign of where Chip could possibly be. Gillion liked to think that he knew Chip fairly well by now, to the point where sometimes Gillion acted like Chip, because Chip was Gillion's first oversea friend and the one he tends to model his oversea mannerisms on.

So, when he spotted a small orange light with smoke emitting from it being held by a masculine figure on top of a building nearby, Gillion knew exactly where to find Chip.

"Smoking again?" Gillion sat down next to Chip on the edge of the roof.

Chip didn't even jump at the sudden presence, he simply took another drag of his cigarette. "Yeah, well," He looked at the cigarette. He doesn't even like cigarettes. The smell simply reminds him of his youth with Reuben Price, when things might've been hectic and awful, but they were familiar and oddly easier. Chip scoffed before continuing his sentence. "They taste awful." He threw the cigarette to the ground.

"Why smoke them then?" Gillion asked with nothing but innocent interest in his tone. Chip simply looked down at the cigarette slowly burning up on the ground.

"The smell." He sighed. He realized he's never been all that open about the topic of cigarettes. He's only been caught smoking them in particular stressful times, and very rarely.

Gillion looked at Chip in shock. He personally thought the smell was disgusting, but he also didn't mind the smell of dead fish. "What do you mean?"

Chip shrugged. "The smell reminds me of my childhood... Back when things were simple, I guess."

"If I remember right, your childhood was not simple at all?" Gillion questioned. He was terribly confused.

"It... Well, it was, but it was before all of this. Yeah, it was after the hole in the sea and all my family died, but it was before I was officially alone. Like, really alone. Before, I met you and Jay. I guess what I mean is... it reminds me of the last time I was good with Price. He was like my brother, but..." Chip shrugged again. "I dunno. I'm kinda used to the whole 'leavin' me' thing by now. The smell reminds me of back when I really wasn't 'cause I had Price." He chuckled. "It's kinda stupid, I guess."

Gillion nodded and looked down at the ground. "I do not think it's stupid."

Chip looked over at Gillion as he continued speaking. "The smell reminds you of family. Even if that family has... 'left you.'" He put 'left you' in air quotes.

Gillion paused and looked at Chip. "Why have you been pushing me away, Chip?"

Chip felt like the air had been knocked out of him. He didn't know what to expect from this interaction at all, but he somehow didn't expect Gillion to ask him that so bluntly. Chip didn't know how to answer it, at all.

Trying to gather himself, he sputtered out a string of incomprehensible words before taking a deep breath and straightening his back. "I- I haven't." He avoided Gillion's gaze and looked back down at the ground.

"Do not lie to me." Gillion's voice rattled Chip's body. He wasn't even speaking loudly, Gillion was just extremely assertive and Chip was extremely fragile.

"Chip, do not lie to me." He repeated.

Chip remained silent and suddenly very interested in the frog he could see hopping across the damp rocks that make the pathway below them.

Without another word, Gillion's hand found itself cupping Chip's face. He turned Chip's head to face him and stared him in the eyes. Gillion's moist, cold touch accompanied with the sudden, slightly intimate, action sent a shock through Chip's body. Chip didn't dare to try and move away from Gillion's grasp. He knew that the man was determined to get an answer out of him tonight.

"I-" Chip attempted to come up with an excuse, but looked at Gillion's determined expression and fell short. "It's complicated, Gilli."

The petname made Gillion's chest warm. Typically, people call him Gillion or Gill. Only Chip has ever called him 'Gilli'. "Explain it to me. I want to know."

Gillion's hand let go of Chip's face and fell to lay on the roof. The way he stared at Chip with nothing but concern and love indicated that he would listen with no judgement in the slightest, which comforted Chip.

"Gill... I-" He took a deep breath. "I don't want you to leave me."

Gillion's head turned to the side like a curious puppy. Chip sighed before elaborating. "Everyone I've loved has left me. Arlin and the Black Rose pirates died or... disappeared somewhere, I don't know. Only ones I even know are okay so far are Drey and Finn and I wasn't as close with them as I was with Arlin. I took his last name after the whole hole in the sea shit, I mean-" He let out a pained chuckled before choking on his own laugh as tears welled in his eyes. "Technically, I left Price, but that was his own fault after the bullshit he made me do... Everyone I've really loved like family has left me other than you, Jay, and the crew."

"Why are you distancing from me only, then? Why not Jay or the others?"

"Do I really have to spell it out for you, Gill..." Chip wiped a tear from his face and looked at Gillion, who was staring back at him with a perplexed look. "You're more than family to me. You're... You're different."

"Different? Is it because I am a fish? Because that is DEEPLY offensive!"

Chip chuckled. "No! No, it's not that. I... Gillion, I think I'm falling in love with you..."

Chip shyly looked up and met Gillion's gaze. Gillion's jaw fell ajar. "But... Love has never been good for me. I know that if I embrace that feeling, you'll end up leaving me somehow. I don't think I could..." Chip choked up and let out a small sob before looking down. "I couldn't deal with that..."

Gillion had a million things running through his head, but he ignored all of them. He gently raised his hand to Chip's face for a second time before wiping a tear from his cheek, which only caused his face to become more damp than before. "I know you're scared of love. But you don't have to run from it. Chip, I think-"

"Gillion, don't... Please, please, don't." Chip pleaded. He knew what Gillion was going to say and he knew that if he did, there was no going back.

"Chip." Gillion fully turned to face him, his legs crossing as he sat on the roof. Chip stayed as he was with his legs dangling off of the edge of the roof. Gillion moved in closer to Chip as Chip froze. "Chip, I think I'm in love with you too."

The entire world around them seemed to have froze. The bustling noises from Allport fell on their deaf ears and the light breeze in the air from the sea seemed to dissipate. The only thing that either of them were processing was the other one right in front of them.

"Why did you have to say that..." Chip whispered before grabbing Gillion's face and quickly moving in to kiss him. Gillion's eyes widened before closing gently as he returned the kiss. Gillion's hand slowly moved from Chip's cheek to the back of his head as he tenderly pressed the back of his head to get Chip's face as close to his as possible.

Gillion then pulled away to see tears streaming down Chip's face. "Chip, no, no. Why?" He frantically was wiping tears from Chip's face to no avail.

"It's gonna happen now... I'm gonna lose you..."

"Oh, Chip..." Gillion pulled into a tight embrace as Chip gripped Gillion's shirt.

"Why would you do that! Why would you tell me that!!"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"You can't promise that!"

"I can, Chip."

Chip looked up at him and laughed. "Yeah, and I can fly."

Gillion's hands held the sides of Chip's face as he slowly leaned to touch his forehead to Chip's. It was such a different way to be intimate that Chip had never experienced before. "I promise you, Chip James, that I will not leave you. I will fight for my life for you. I will stay alive... for you."

Something in Chip's body compelled him to fully believe Gillion. With his determination and undoubted loyalty, Gillion's promise held so much more weight than anyone else. Chip briefly pulled away and held up his hand before extending his pinky. "Promise?"

Gillion looked down at Chip's pinky. He had only vaguely heard about a 'pinky promise' before and he definitely didn't think of Chip to be a believer in such childish things. But Gillion would indulge in anything for Chip. He would do anything for him.

He raised his hand and extended his pinky. Gillion locked his pinky with Chip's. "I swear on Lunadeyis."

Chip's eyes widened as he looked up at the moon. He almost felt like Gillion was about to be struck where he stood, but the moon seemed to shimmer brighter. Chip almost felt like the moon was smiling down on them, and he smiled back.

"I KNEW THAT'S WHAT WAS UP!" Jay exclaimed with a wide smile. "GRYFFON, YOU OWE ME 10 GOLD NOW!"

Chip and Gillion were standing beside each other, holding hands, after telling Jay what had been happening between them. Chip's jaw fell to the floor. "YOU PLACED BETS?"

Gryffon grumbled while handing Jay 10 gold coins. "It was her idea."

"AND I WAS RIGHT! Oh, I'm so placing more bets on you, Chip. You're so predictable!"

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