#gilbert is the only adult that ever treated violet kindly and that kind of love between them is valid and important

[ozonecologne]

ok, a thought. spoilers for the anime and destiel adjacent

disclaimer: I have not seen the Violet Evergarden movie, but I've seen some spoilers so I don't think I'm GOING to watch it. Some post-series info might be inaccurate, don't yell at me.

The only thing I didn't like about Violet Evergarden story-wise (other than the very obvious way that children are preyed upon and only maybe two people ever critique this as part of the narrative) is at the end when Violet writes her letter to the major, she says that "I know you're alive somewhere" and that's why she continues to live, because she has hope she'll see him again.

I would have liked much better if Violet were able to complete her cycle of grief, come to terms with the fact that Gilbert is gone for real, and decide to embrace the life he made sure she has in this new world without him.

This is very similar to how I feel about the end of Pride and Prejudice (2005), a movie that I also deeply adore. In Darcy's final confession to Elizabeth where she thanks him for all he's done, he says, "Surely you know it was all for you." That kind of defeats the point, doesn't it? Elizabeth objects to Darcy at first because she doesn't like how he behaves in the world or treats people around him; Elizabeth eventually falls for him because his view of the world has supposedly changed for the better and he's opened himself up to more within it. He becomes more expressive, gentler, kinder. Instead, he says that everything he's done or changed has only ever been a symptom of his obsession for HER -- he didn't really learn anything?

Violet literally told Diethard in the last moments of the show that she doesn't need orders anymore. That was such a beautiful moment for her and I was really proud of her, I liked that end of her arc. It signified that she was finally stepping into herself as an individual, separating herself from the role of "tool" or soldier, and healing to become a healthy adult despite the trauma she went through. But then she kind of walks all that progress back with the letter she writes afterwards because she reveals that she's only doing anything she does because she delusionally believes that the major will come back and she's essentially just waiting for him to return some day.

[and then supposedly in the movie he DOES come back and her delusion is REWARDED and she abandons everything she built as her own person… for him :)))) Which is the opposite of what he wanted for her but whatever I guess!!!]

[I also think that the letter thing could be a bad translation issue. Gilbert's mother tells her earlier that Gilbert is alive in her heart, and in Violet's too. So maybe Violet was echoing that sentiment in her letter, but if that's the case I don't really think it was executed very well.]

I have the same issue with both VE and P&P. Despite being really wonderful stories about opening yourself up to the joys of the world by being brave enough to get in touch with difficult feelings -- and only finding that courage because someone else showed you the way -- the stories sabotage their messages at the end by returning to a very boring "I did it for YOU" dynamic.

Instead of "I did it FOR you," I guess I prefer "I did it BECAUSE of you." And I think you know where I'm going with this. This is why I think that Destiel is such a compelling ship. While Dean gets Castiel to care about everyone else in the world through learning to love him specifically ("I cared about the whole world because of you"), Castiel disagrees and is in conflict with Dean sometimes when he tries to do the right thing. His world revolves around Dean, but Castiel still acts according to what HE THINKS IS RIGHT, because he learned from Dean's example that doing the right thing is what makes your life fulfilling. They're in love, but ultimately what takes precedence are the principles they live by rather than their feelings for each other. It's just that their principles have developed alongside one another and often align, and that's what makes them a good pair... Howl's Moving Castle Howl/Sophie is also another good example of this dynamic.

TL;DR: I like when characters develop a set of principles that help them stand up in the world on their own, but not when those principles are only contingent on receiving the love and affection of someone they've placed on a pedestal.

i finally watched violet evergarden :')