#giant baguette

[mudwerks]

Xavier Cugat

Promotion card by Philips, no. GF 025 66/13.

[dyke-mecha]

Shoutout to the cashier at the [grocery store take out] where I get my too good to go food. He always gives me so so so much more than the others who work at the same place. If I wouldn't be literally just some random customer I'd marry you

[selkieblood]

some people say panera bread is bad they just want to eat nutella bread all day. maybe their panera location just sucks but panera is always the best food place to me i fucking love bread their grilled chicken sandwich is godly. genuinely if you go a long while not eating the most refined processed crap you start to taste more things and water becomes more delicious. if i smell nutella i become ill. panera is not necessarily healthy im not trying to say that. its just when people say panera is bad i hope they die

[violayves]

im going to come back to work next week as the worlds most femme line cook.

[viclinstrings]

"I DO NOT THINK IT IS A SCAM. It sounds impressive!" Her opinion was sorely biased, as the council fully supporting something meant Simone fully supported it as well, if only as a way of pledging her complete loyalty to her newfound siblings, whether they wanted it or not. And besides, as naive of a perspective as it was, she did think it had to do everything the numerous commercials she had heard play through her car radio had to have some accuracy, why else would those in charge cosign it? "Are all drugs not discutable in some way? Even if they do exactly what they are meant to, there are still side effects to come after all." The basket that was perched on her arm over the sleeve of her Burberry peacoat swung a bit, as the blonde was incapable of not speaking with her entire body. One could say it was a side effect of playing the violin, another task that had her whole body thrown into it. "Are you asking because you have an interest in using it? You should try, what is the worst that could happen?" Maroon tinted lips pursed as she threw a box of tampons into the basket, the reason she had walked down the aisle in the first place, before taking advantage of the conversation by asking, "Since we are already talking, do you know of a place that sells actual fresh bread in this town? The bakery section of this store..." A disappointed breath exited her lips, no more necessary to say of that review.

giant superstore, 2nd february / @anchoragestarters

"What's the deal with this Zydrate stuff?" It was an abrupt question, probably not what you'd expect to hear from a random passerby in the toiletry aisle. He'd been looking for hair dye, the need to agressively bleach his hair and force it into some bright, garish colour having finally taken over him after a few months of letting his dark roots grow in and eat away at the previously well-maintained blonde. "There was an ad for it on TV. Some miracle happy drug?" he said, with a bitter laugh. The way he'd been feeling lately, Ash was sure he could use that but even he had his limits. There wasn't much he felt like trusting these days. But, God, did he feel like SHIT. He'd barely been keeping up with the news of this murder, his head still swimming with his own grief. There wasn't much room for anything else. His head was crammed fulled but his world was so, so fucking empty. Oof. "You think it even works? Or is it just some weird pharmaceutical scam?"

[fandomnerd9602]

Livestreamer!Wanda tries the insane baking challenge with Y/N…

Wanda: we got honey, pickles, and this giant baguette

Wanda does a funny twitch with her lips…

Y/N: we couldn’t delay til tomorrow (laughs)

Wanda:

Y/N: what?

Wanda: I’m just thinking how blessed I am to be married to you.

Y/N: aww

[604to647]

Safest with You (The Epilogue)

3.2K / Modern AU Retired Mob Enforcer!Din Djarin x fem!reader

Summary: You and Din welcome a new member to your family.

Warnings: All fluff - just the way we started this series! Established relationship, nicknames as usual (Pretty bird, baby).

A/N: A cute little glimpse into the lives of our happy couple around two years after the series finale. 112 Carlota Galgos is a real Galgo rescue in Spain! I won't go into the circumstances that make the rescue work they do so important, but many of you know that I have a greyhound, and the plight of the Galgo is well known in the sighthound community. These dogs deserve the world!! If you have an opportunity to check out organizations that aid Spanish Galgos or even help - I promise these gentle giants deserve it. Lisette is a real galgo I knew! She passed last year and this epilogue is dedicated to her (cute pics included at the end!)

I’m posting this on the one year anniversary of Chapter 1!! I can’t believe it’s been a whole year of writing these bbs 🥹 Thank you thank you everyone who has supported and followed along with this series - you are all as dear to me as Pretty Bird's garlic knots are to Mayfeld 🥹🥰 (I still plan on publishing that recipe!)

Dividers by @saradika-graphics as always! 🥰 / Series Masterlist

Just before your finger is about to press down the call button on the outside of the closed metal gate, you retract your hand and look questioningly at Din.

“How many am I allowed to get again?”

Din stares at you for a second to ascertain if you’re kidding and when he sees you’re not, a little panic sets in on his face, “One, pretty bird.  Just one.”

“But…”

“We only made arrangements with the airline for one, baby.”

You pout a little, but know Din’s right, “Okay. Fine. One.”

Somewhat dejectedly you press the button, though the chorus of barks and yelps from the other side of the gate resulting from the chime of the bell perk you up immediately, and by the time the gate is buzzed open with a loud brrrrzzzt, you’re giddy with excitement again.

This is the last planned destination of the European trip you and Din have been on for the last three weeks, both of you looking forward to flying home in just a few days.

The vacation has been an absolute dream.  You and Din have eaten your way through Amsterdam (Stroopwafels! Bitterballen!), then Paris (Steak frites! Macarons! Croissants!  One, sometimes two baguettes a day!), followed by Rome (Gelato! Pasta until you exploded!), and then finally Barcelona (Paella! Bombas!) before ending up where you are now: Andalucia, Spain, outside the gates of the 112 Carlota Galgos dog rescue.

The happy and excited woofs from the still unseen pups remind you so much of Alfredo.  Gosh, you miss your best guy so much – although, if the daily photos and videos you’ve been receiving are to be believed, he might be hard pressed to leave Paz’s when you get back.  By now a minor celebrity in Din and Paz’s neighbourhood, you’re happy to see that Al’s been making the rounds at the local shops (and accepting generous samples everywhere he goes), enjoying fun road trips to nearby hiking trails, and most importantly, helping Paz cement his image as an attractive, eligible bachelor about town.  You’re sure if you were to peek at Paz’s dating app profile, you’d see it updated with copious pictures of him fawning over your dog. 

Originally, you had been hesitant to have Paz take Al to his place for three whole weeks, wondering if it was better if instead, Paz could come and dog-sit at your and Din’s place – but Al does seem to be adjusting to being away from home just fine.  Though Alfredo is generally super easy going and adaptable, you nevertheless recognized that it had been quite a year of transition and multiple upheavals for your pup and worried about how he might cope with yet another change in scenery. 

Nearly a year ago, you and Din moved in together and Al had been uprooted from the only home he’s ever known.  Though it wasn’t without some understandable disinclination that you left your beautiful and much-loved apartment, both of you agreed it made perfect sense for you to move into Din’s place above Mando’s.  Of course you loved your old place – you had poured so much of your heart and soul into making it your refuge and the perfect home for you and Al, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to regret leaving – Din is your home now, as you are his.   The only safe haven you need is the one with him, and though you’re sure he would have moved without hesitation if you had asked, the idea of Din leaving a residence right above his place of work, in a building he already owned, was too silly to even entertain.

To try and make the adjustment as smooth as possible for his pretty bird, Din had given you free reign to redecorate, bring in your furniture, and make whatever changes you wanted in order to make his, now your, apartment feel more like home.  The third floor of Mando’s would always hold his most cherished memories of his childhood and father – he didn’t need it to look a certain way or have it maintained as some kind of physical shrine in order for that to be true; Din was ready to make a home and new memories with you.  It was sweet and you appreciated the gesture prodigiously, but aside from adding your own bookshelves and swapping out a couch, the only thing you had asked for was a bigger kitchen.  Din had readily agreed and even suggested he build you an expanded closet and turn the second bedroom into a home office-dog den for you and Al.  Din’s enthusiasm and eagerness for the project was enough to have you agreeing to his considerate suggestions.

What had followed was seven months of renovation chaos, living out of and tripping over boxes as a slew of tradespeople and workmen paraded in and out of what was supposed to be your new sanctuary. 

You love Din with all your heart, and one of the things you love most and find endlessly attractive is just how good he is at the things he does: taking care of you and Al, supporting the community, running Mando’s – to say nothing of the skill and prowess he displays in his work in and out of the ring; just the sight of Din running drills with his boxers or deftly commanding the Mandos gets you weak in the knees. 

But elaborate home improvements and remodelling?  Unfortunately, not part of Din’s impressive skill set.  Nor any of the Mandos for that matter.  For two weeks, every Mando on payroll seemed to be over at your place “helping” with measurements and the demolition of the kitchen and the wall between the two bedrooms.  Only after a burst pipe and the subsequent three weeks of living with drying fans running 24/7, did Din concede it was time to call in professionals.  Then came a parade of contractors and their respective plumbers, cabinet guys, drywall, tile and marble contacts, electricians, etc. – who all seemed to owe some kind of “favour” to Boba.  The good thing about that was they were committed to doing a good job; the bad thing was that no one was particularly dedicated to doing a fast job.  For the next five months, you, Din and Al lived in a construction zone of various partially started and finished projects with different strangers coming in and out of your place at all hours of the day – it had stressed Al out endlessly.

A little over half a year after moving in with Din, you hit a breaking point and, with Din’s encouragement, packed a suitcase and took Al to stay at Bea’s until a firm completion deadline could be negotiated with the various contractors.  Din had insisted on staying behind to lead the "negotiations" and "supervise" the follow through; lo and behold, everything had been completed to perfection and cleaned up thoroughly two weeks after.  Upon seeing the beautiful finished space, you finally felt at home – though frustrated, you hadn’t ever been terribly mad about the whole situation, but it had been a very confusing time for your pup.

Din had felt awful – this wasn’t the symbolic big step and storybook start to your lives together that he had envisioned.  You either, if you were being honest, but it genuinely mattered very little in the grand scheme of things; you reminded Din, as the two of you christened every surface of your brand new kitchen, that your lives together had really started a year before moving in together, when he had taken his own big step and shown up outside of your office, making you the promise to be open and honest about everything.

And he had.  Din had forgiven himself and won you back, and these last two years have been the happiest of your lives, even with the renovations. 

In that time a lot’s happened.  Jimmy won another two division championships and moved up a weight class.  Cass announced that her and Rikard were expecting.  Rory’s bridal boutique expanded to a second even more successful location and to her chagrin, she was promoted to manager.  The second book in Bea’s series came out to amazing reviews and the anticipation and hype for the third (due out later this year) was through the roof.  Poe decided to pursue and then successfully obtained his pilot license.  You went up in his Cessna just once – the views had been unforgettable, Lisa getting sick in your lap no lesser so.  Katie guest starred on Law and Order – twice (two different characters).  You met the Mods.  And Al finally settled into his new home, overseeing his new kingdom from the plush and cozy dog den that his dad lovingly built for him.

And now you and Din are about to take another big step together.

Greeted enthusiastically by one of the women who runs the Spanish hunting dog haven with whom you’ve been conversing with over the past few months about adoption, you and Din take a tour of the facility before being led out back to meet the dogs.

Per Elenna’s guidance, you sit in a chair near the water bowls and let the galgos come to you on their own terms.  Some, understandably, are shy and timid, wary of strangers – tentatively, they come and investigate you with their snoots, eventually accepting your gentle pats and scritches once they feel comfortable enough.  Others have no such hesitation - tails wagging, curious and excited, they enthusiastically crowd you, nosing in for pets and try to sniff out the treats you have in your pocket.  Your chest expands, heart nearly tripling in size to see these dogs get to be dogs again, as you rub their little faces and coo endless words of deserved praise at them for their bravery.

Maybe the plane will have room for another crate, you think, or two?  You can’t stop giggling as your face is licked and poked with wet noses, or when those same noses goose your tummy and legs, competing for the attention of your busy hands – you’re in heaven, nearly overwhelmed by all this furry cuteness.  Surely Din cannot possibly expect you to limit yourself to one! Knowing the marshmallow squish that resides beneath his hard and steely frame, you’re willing to bet that Din has already softened his stance on taking home multiple pups.  You crane your neck to see over the dogs, looking around the property to see if you can locate your boyfriend.

To your surprise, you find him not being surrounded by enthusiastic, bounding galgos, but alone - crouching near the ground and gently scratching a smaller fawn coloured dog who’s laying on her side, her slender head lifted just slightly off the ground to lean into Din’s hand.

“That’s Lisette,” Elenna says when she notices you looking at Din and the fawn girl, “she’s just come to us after this last hunting season - we found her in the street with a broken leg.  She’s all healed up now but is still quite skittish, especially around men.  This is actually the first time I’ve ever seen her let a man touch her, never mind a stranger.  Your husband must have a very calming touch.”

“Oh, he’s not my husb-” your voice trails off as you watch Lisette continue to happily receive Din’s attention.  Walking over, you hear him speaking quietly to her in Spanish.

“What are you telling her, Din?”

Din looks up, eyes soft and shiny, “Just telling her what a good girl she is.  That’s she so brave and sweet.  And that she doesn’t have anything to be afraid of anymore.  She’s safe now.”

There is no question as to which (one) dog you’ll be adopting today.

Lisette settles in quickly when you and Din get her back home, especially with Al immediately taking up his role as big brother.  Lisette falls into the easy comfort of following his lead, regularly looking to Alfredo for guidance – he never leads her astray and the two of them become inseparable.  With growing pride, you watch Lisette tentatively explore her new environment and slowly over the next few months, becomes more and more comfortable in her forever home: first your and Din’s apartment, then the gym, whose enthusiastic occupants always greet her like the princess she is, and eventually the entire neighbourhood where she’s never without her protective brother by her side.  When she’s ready, you and Din take her and Al out on further away adventures: to your and Din’s favourite farmers’ market, Poe and Lisa’s (where you learn in their pool that Lisette can swim!) or to Boba and Fennec’s where she can run and play with Mochi and the other Daimyo Dogs.  Your heart positively kvells as Lisette’s confidence grows and she becomes the happy pup she deserves to be, putting her less than ideal start to life behind her.

The only thing you wish you could change, though you would never push, is that Lisette won’t cuddle with you - she only ever cuddles with Din.  You know she loves you, but she’s very much a daddy’s girl and he’s the only one with whom she feels safe enough to have in such close proximity while sleeping or relaxing.  You don’t begrudge Lisette at all for feeling this way; Din is her protector, she trusts him to keep her safe - you understand the comfort of that feeling better than anyone.

And in truth, you love watching them together – seeing your sweet girl so at ease and your strong, formidable warrior melt into a puddle of goo when she burrows into the warmth of his lap.  Din talks to Lisette in Spanish all the time, repeating what he told her back in Andalucia: she’s safe now, she doesn’t have to be scared anymore - this is her home.

Your home feels complete now – there’s nowhere you would rather be than cuddled up on the couch with Din, each respectively loving on the pups that have curled up against you: you, Al and Din, Lisette.

Then one day, you’re on the couch tapping away on your laptop when Lisette saunters up to you.  You rub her little head and give her a little smooch on her snoot as she walks by, fully expecting her to wander away but she surprises you to no end when she hops up on the couch and curls up by your feet.  Terribly delighted but not wanting to spook her, you pretend like it’s no big deal – your heart, however, is doing jumping jacks; looking up with a big smile you see Din nodding encouragingly at the both of you.

And then she does it again.  And again.  At first still staying arms length from you, she inches closer and closer, little by little.  Though your chest is exploding and you want to shout with joy, you always remain calm and give Lisette copious amounts of quiet praise after she’s settled.  To celebrate this progress, Din will eventually come over to shower Lisette with additional treats and Spanish words of adulation that she happily accepts.  Sometimes you even catch him encouraging her before she comes over to you or see her looking back at him for reassurance before she climbs onto the bed or couch to sit with you.  Always her protector, her safe space.

It's slow going, but worth it.

Today, you’re on the couch having just finished a book, funnily enough it’s the most recent in the fantasy series that Din had bought you and your friends on that first day you met nearly four years ago, when you see Lisette moseying on over to you.  You swing your legs off the couch and pat the spot next to you, and to your delight, she hops up and starts to do her little nesting circles, prepping for her laydown spot.  When she finally settles, she lays her little head in your lap and you think your heart might burst.  You look up and see Din, handsome and relaxed, leaning against one of the bookshelves looking at the both of you with an adoring expression on his face.  You beam back - yep, the two of you are his girls.  The ones he takes care of.  Looks after.  Loves.

Lisette nuzzles her furry little face deeper into your thigh and you can’t help but giggle at the sensation.  “Okay, okay,” you chuckle, as if you needed any invitation to pet and love on her.  Dispensing gentle scritches all over her head and little ear rubs, you notice that your sweet girl has an extra collar on.  Normally Lisette wears just a martingale and sometimes nothing at all when she’s at home, but today, she’s got a thin rope collar encircling her neck as well.  Rubbing it between your fingers, you say to Din, “This is pretty!  When did she get this house collar?”

“Got it for her a while ago, but thought I’d wait for the right moment to put it on.  Do you like it?”

Lisette lifts her head and you take the opportunity to take a closer look at the pretty pink collar; admiring the delicate metalware and the luxurious feeling fibres of the rope, you run your fingers over the collar until you get to the small clasp in the front and feel something you don’t expect.  Rotating the collar around Lisette’s slender neck so you can get a better look at the thin object, you gasp when it comes into view.

A diamond ring.

Din, with Al by his side, starts to walk towards you, the look in his eyes clear and so easy to read: Devotion.  Adoration.  Love.

“Pretty bird…” he starts.  Din has an entire speech planned.  He needs to thank you for coming into his life and showing him what true strength and power is.  Grace, honesty, and compassion have been your gifts to him, and he’s a better man, a stronger man, for your kindness and generosity.  He wants to promise you that your faith in him will never be misplace – that he will cherish you and your heart to the very last beat of his own and beyond.  He loves you, admires you, trusts you, is in awe of you, and remains forever grateful for you.  Grateful for every smile you throw his way, every laugh you pull from him and allow him to draw from you, thankful for all the ways you’ve woven yourself into his life and made it better.  And above all, grateful for your acceptance and love for him and all that he is, was, and ever will be.  He needs to ask you if you will allow him the honour of spending the remainder of his days showing you his gratitude and loving you the way you deserve.

Din’s heart is overflowing and he has so much he wishes to express; he’s not entirely sure he’s going to be able to make any sense.  But Din’s not nervous - the radiant smile on your beautiful face as he approaches already telling him everything he needs to know.

Real life Lisette!! 🥰🥰

Very last tag for this series!! Thank you all forever for your support 🥹😘

@tuquoquebrute @furiousmushroom @cheekychaos28 @72scsuze @nerdieforpedro

@toobsessedsstuff @whirlwindrider29 @inept-the-magnificent @mellymbee @that1nerd-20

@hipabbster23 @bitccchmood @bigbutchenergee @rainbowcat164 @the-strawberrythief

@johnssherlock221 @misstokyo7love @vivian-pascal @florxdexcerezo @fanficlover1414

@rarachelchel @heartbrokenlilbitch-nef @jeewrites @sunnytuliptime @kulekehe

@bebsjo @yopossum @cartonkid1200 @rav3n-pascal22 @sjc7542

@xxx-silhouette-xxx @pedroswife69 @kilamonster @mandoshoney @joelalorian

@syd-djarin @moonlessnight14 @lucienofthelakes

[lythiannatheultimate]

Here is some Punch-out Christmas headcannons

I made this because I was bored out of my mind. For Christmas, they basically hang out with eachother, give eachother gifts, look through their stockings, and even sing with eachother.

🇫🇷Glass Joe💕

•Just enjoying everyone's company

•Cried when Von Kaiser gifted him a plushie of a baguette with a cute face

•loved everyone's gifts

•Got a gift visit from Gabby Jay( he was crying like crazy)

•happy

🇩🇪 Von Kaiser🔩

•actually calm for the first time ever

•Joe gave him a emotional support Plushie and he cried

•Also cried when Hondo gave him a necklace that had a entire paragraph explaining why Von is such a good friend

•Gave Joe a hug

•Very happy

🇺🇸 Disco kid🕺

•Spoiled EVERYBODY

•Aran gave him a MOUNTAIN of gifts

•Grooving to "All I want for Christmas is you."

•dancing like there's no tomorrow

•Sat next to Aran and they eventually ended up snuggling together

🇦🇬 King hippo🏝

•chill

•Ended up sobbing from a hat Hondo got for him

•loves everyone

•got a little dazed but he kept snapping back

•watched Home Alone for the first time ever with everyone.

🇯🇵 Piston Hondo/Honda🍣

•Got everyone the sweetest gifts for the deepest meanings

•Bear got him a hoodie of sailor moon and Hondo cried

•Laying next to Bear and just being romantic

•Kissed bear a couple times

• Got a necklace from Aran that had a cherry blossom tree and a sunset (he was so happy)

🇨🇦 Bear Hugger🐟

•Happy with Hondo around

•Hondo gave him a necklace that had an romantic message that made Bear cry

•Kissed Hondo back and made him blush

•grateful for everybody

•Extremely happy

🕌 Great Tiger🇮🇳

•floating around and having fun

•The bracelet Hondo gave him made his day

•Happy about every gift

•Got a Tiger keychain from Aran

•Hondo is his best friend

🇪🇸 Don Flamenco🌹

•might have a crush on Super Macho Man

•very happy

•Has THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT

•Macho Man gave him a necklace with a red and black rose and he LOVES it

•Loved everyone's gifts

🇮🇪 Aran Ryan🍾

•Spoiled Disco kid

•Made Hondo CRY with the gift he gave him

•Snuggled with Disco

•Drunk as HELL

•Sang along to "Snuff," by Slipknot

🇷🇺 Soda Popinski🍾

•I swear this day was the first day anyone has seen him this happy

•Extremely happy

•Aran gave him a beautiful necklace

•gave Aran a MASSIVE hug

•Had some quality time with Bull

🇹🇷 Bald Bull🏋

•OH MY GOSH HE'S HAPPY!

•Soda gave him a handmade sweater (He was SO happy)

•Hondo gave him a necklace with a paragraph explaining why he is such a good friend (He almost cried)

•not drinking alcohol (like a good person)

•actually happy

🇺🇸 Super Macho Man🌊

•Also spoiled everyone

•Hondo gave him a necklace that said "Even though you irritate me, I still think you're a good friend," and Macho actually loved it

•Got a little upset because he thought Narcis could not be there

•Narcis showed up and gave him a beautiful gold ring

•Has a GIANT crush on Narcis

🇺🇸 Mr.sandman🏋

•Loved everyone's gifts

•The necklace Hondo gave him made his day

•Asked the ref ( Tony) if he could stay for a while ( he did)

•Is actually in love with Tony

•Picked up Tony sometimes just for fun

🇨🇳 Dragon Chan🏯

•actually had a good time

•Got a kimono from Hondo and he was happy

•snuggling under the blankets because he is cold

•Got a little keychain of Bruce Lee from Aran

•freezing (can't blame him when its -11°)

🇺🇸 Kid Quick🐐

•Not freaking out for the first time ever

•very thankful for every gift

•Definitely not in the holiday spirit

•chill

•Freezing

🇫🇷 Gabby Jay💊

•feels sick but still ends up going

•Just there for Joe

•Gave Joe a couple of shirts

•happy that Joe is happy

•Still had to take his dementia pills

🇬🇧 Narcis Prince🎽

•was actually able to arrive

•Gave Macho a gold ring with a diamond because he has a big crush on him

•Actually caring for everyone

•Macho got him a VERY oversized Shirt that had a picture of London on it

•being everything but a narcissist

🇯🇵 Heike Kagero💅

•Besties with Hondo

•Spoiled Hondo with gifts

•Hondo gave him a necklace that had a picture of them together in Tokyo (He cried and gave Hondo a hug)

•Got multiple make-up sets from Hondo

•Very happy

🇧🇪 Nick Bruiser🏋

•Actually glad Rick didn't arrive

•smiled a little bit

•Got A LOT of gifts

•very chill

•OH MY GOSH HE LAUGHED!

🍝 Pizza pasta🍕

•basically the squidward of this entire thing

•smiled only once because Sandman made a funny joke

•Irritated

•Doesn't get along with anyone

•punched Aran in the face and almost started a fight

•Nick has a little place in his heart for him but pasta still hates his guts

🇯🇲 Bob Charlie🐆

•chill

•Grateful for the gifts

•got a mountain of gifts

•wearing a shirt that says "Don't blame me, I love Christmas."

•had his hair down like normal

🇳🇴 Alice🛠

•super happy

•Got spoiled by everyone because she's 11

•Brung her robot friend Ape

•got multiple shirts, plushies, and hats

•Ape got her a beautiful necklace (somehow🤷)

🇺🇸 Doc Louis🚴

•Got adoption papers for Little Mac

•Hondo gave him bike equipment and he was happy

•Got a necklace from bald bull that had a picture of them when they were younger

•Sitting next to Mac the entire time

•got some chocolate bars from Aran

🇺🇸 Little Mac🏆

•Got adopted by Doc (OMG I'M SOBBING😭)

•also got spoiled with gifts since he is the second youngest

•happy

•He talked for the first time and everyone just stopped in shock

•brung Birdie with him

🇺🇸 Birdie🇮🇱

•Basically the only biological brother Mac has left

•Narcis is his best friend

•Happy that he is adopted too

•Showered in gifts

•talking to Mac most of the time

In this case, Narcis isn't even a narcissist.

Also, this goes on for the entire week.

[queensqueercourt]

Working front of house at a bakery is alot of work but it's pays in the fact I made a custom order for a little girl who wanted a whole baguette cut open and spread entirely with butter. And 5 minutes later I see her going absolutely to town on that giant ass loaf. Hope she's doing wonderful wherever she is

[scrunckled-idiot]

Giant Scout annoying his dad

I MEANT TO SAY BAGUETTE NOT BAGEL FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!

[stellar-solar-flare]

A Fairytale Of A Disaster| Chapter 4/4 | Steve Rogers x doctor!Reader

Explicit - 18+ only - Minors DNI.

Your friend set you up with a perfect guy. Unfortunately, when it's time for you to meet 'Grant' for the first time, he has stood you up. On Valentine's Day of all days.

Was it too good to be true? Or does he instead have a very, very good reason why he's late, and a desire to make it all up to you?

Fluff, hurt/comfort, meet-cute, misunderstandings, eventual smut, healthy communication. | Background Sam Wilson/OFC.

FIC MASTERLIST | AUTHOR MASTERLIST | AO3

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Story Content Warnings:Discussion of Steve's canonical trauma; mentions of Steve/Peggy.

Reader Specifics: She/her, late twenties (a few years younger than Steve in this fic). Training to be a trauma surgeon (has completed med school, in residency stage). Likes books and houseplants. No description of appearance (other than clothes and such), no use of Y/N.

Alternate Universe: The Avengers Initiative continued SHIELD's work after its collapse to corruption. The Avengers are living together in the Compound - Bucky has healed, and Civil War never happened because Tony and Steve worked through their differences like adults.

Story Notes: I wanted to write a Valentine's Day oneshot, and then it turned out it has parts. Oh no. Well, here we are. I hope you enjoy this fluffy little trope collection! As always, thank you for reading, and hearing what you think means a lot to me.

I do not own anything Marvel related. This is an unofficial fan work. No copyright infringement intended. This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events, is purely coincidental.

Chapter 4: Forever After

Chapter Notes: And here is the final chapter. 2024 was a giant hassle for me, which is why it was a little delayed, but I am grateful for your patience. Thanks for sticking with me until the end. As always, I am always interested in hearing your thoughts! Thank you for reading, and happy 2025.

Chapter Warnings: Explicit sexual content, praise kink, slightly possessive Steve Rogers, dirty talk.

4,290 words.

It didn’t sit right with you to just wait for Steve to come back.

Sure, it was the first time you were at his place, but he had told you to make yourself at home. And he had gone through all this trouble to make the schedule mishap up to you, even after he’d obviously had a long and probably somewhat overwhelming day. You wanted to do something nice for him, too; to do your part in making sure this night would turn out well.

He had mentioned the BBQ-chicken-filled baguettes, which sounded like lovely comfort-type of food; and that type of food required a dessert. You weren’t the one making the rules.

After a few minutes of contemplation, you padded over to the kitchen part of the great room and started opening the cabinets. After what Steve had said, it didn’t surprise you that his pantry was well-stocked, and it seemed like he enjoyed baking, too. So far, he’d only sent you pictures of dinners he’d cooked, but after that, it wasn’t much of a leap to assume baking was also something like a hobby to him. A top-of-the-line stand mixer stood on the counter, gleaming in the well-lit space, and you smiled. It would practically do the work for you.

You figured out how to turn on the oven and set it to heat up while you gathered all the necessary ingredients and found a nice rectangular oven pan. Brownies certainly weren’t going to win any Michelin Stars any time soon, but they were a great treat after a long day and one of the recipes you could’ve made in your sleep. Besides, Steve had quality chocolate, grass-fed butter, free-range eggs… There was no way these could turn out anything but delicious.

Steve wasn’t gone for long, but by the time he returned, you were already scooping the melted chocolate and butter into the stand mixer bowl to whisk it together with the egg-sugar foam. You were so focused on the task at hand that at first, you didn’t hear his steps coming up to the kitchen.

“Doll?” he said, and there was something careful about his voice, something that made you think it wasn’t just because he didn’t want to scare you.

You turned to look at him, smiling, as you set the dish in your hands on the counter and turned the stand mixer on; on a low setting, it was so quiet that you could easily talk despite the fact that it was running.

“Hi,” you said. “You look nice.”

“Thank you,” he said.

He had looked great in the suit but the combination of grey dress pants, a crisp white shirt, and a navy blazer was certainly nothing to scoff at. He’d dried and combed his hair, and it was a radiant halo on his head, and the look in his eyes was something that sent a shiver down your spine. His gaze trailed down from your eyes to your body, taking in the navy apron — with his shield embroidered on it — that you’d found in a drawer and used to cover your dress to keep it clean. Abruptly, he pulled his gaze away, peering at the batter.

“I thought I’d make us some dessert to go with the sandwiches,” you smiled. “You did tell me to make myself at home.”

“I did,” he swallowed, the sound coming out of his throat somehow suffocated. “You didn’t have to but I… I appreciate it. A lot. It looks lovely. Brownies?”

The chopped sentences made one side of your mouth tug up. For sure, you had heard that the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach, but you hadn’t expected such a small thing to have an effect this tangible. You stopped the device, satisfied with the evenness of the batter, and Steve turned back to you.

“Yeah, brownies,” you confirmed. “I borrowed your apron, too.”

“I can see that,” he smiled. “It looks great on you. It’s from our Kitchen Heroes merch line — Sam got it for me as a gag gift, since all the profits go to fund food banks. I often cook for the team; it’s good for the spirit. But it definitely looks better on you than it does on me.”

A part of you doubted it — the idea of Steve, with the apron on and the sleeves of his shirt rolled back, working on some complicated dish with a focused expression on his face in this very kitchen made something stir on the bottom of your stomach.  Maybe you would see it; maybe this was only the first time you were cooking in this kitchen, maybe this was the beginning of something beautiful, maybe this was it.

His eyes trailed down again, and for a second, you thought he might be staring at your breasts, and then you realized that his gaze was fixed on the shield that stood proudly on your chest. His shield, on an apron in his colors, on you. You hadn’t intended this to be any sort of innuendo, really, you had simply grabbed the topmost apron from the drawer that held them, but now, the implications of his gaze definitely weren’t lost on you.

“Steve…” you whispered, licking your lips.

The doorbell rang, making both of you almost jump.

Steve tore his eyes off you, clearing his throat as pink was staining his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, just, give me a second,” he said, already spinning on his heel to stride to the door.

Whatever it was that caused someone to physically come meet Captain America at this hour on a holiday probably wasn’t something that you should be eavesdropping on. So you used the moment to pour the batter into the greased dish and stick it to the oven, letting the clangs of metal and the beeps of the timer you set cover the conversation at the door. And of course, you weren’t going to deny yourself the simple joy of tasting the batter off the spatula you’d used to scrape the bowl. Delicious, just like you’d thought — thick and wonderfully chocolatey.

Focused on your task, you didn’t hear Steve’s steps until he was back to standing almost next to you. He cleared his throat in a way that called for your attention, and you spun to your right, the spatula still in your left hand.

Your heart skipped a beat. And then another.

Roses.

Steve was standing there with a huge bouquet of them on his arm; he’d peeled off the paper that had sheltered them during transport and with only the thin cellophane wrapped around the stems, you could easily see how beautiful the flowers were. In full bloom, under the bright lights of the kitchen, their scarlet red color looked so wonderfully brilliant that for a moment, all you could do was stare and feel your heart swell in your chest. No one had ever.

“I thought…” Steve murmured, just a hint of uncertainty in his voice. “I felt bad for showing up to a first date without the flowers, and I wondered if the red was a little too much but they match your dress. There are a few 24/7 delivery systems here on AI Campus. I hope —“

“Steve,” you cut him off, your voice thick. “They’re wonderful. Beautiful. Thank you.”

You stepped closer to him leaning in to peek at the roses, smiling at their fragrant scent. Three or four dozen — you would have to count them to be sure. Later. Now, you would just take them in and enjoy. It might’ve been true that it was a little excessive for what was a first date, despite the feeling that you’d known Steve for much longer because you’d been talking so much about everything, but so far, nothing about this had exactly been normal and ordinary.

“I love the color, too,” you whispered, turning your gaze up to Steve.

“I’m glad you like them,” he murmured.

He was looking at your gleaming eyes and your bright smile with something akin to primal satisfaction on his face. It should have clashed with the way he looked like Prince Charming, tall and strong and handsome and well dressed and bearing flowers — god, your luck had finally turned, hadn’t it? — but somehow, it didn’t. As the eye contact stretched again, seconds ticking away and your pulse racing in your chest, your head was running away with almost irresistible images of a future you might share with him.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of something falling onto the back of your palm. Dazed, you turned your gaze to the left, looking at the drop of brownie batter that had fallen off the spatula you were holding.

You should have put it away. You should have found a vase to stick the flowers in until it was time for you to go home. You should have started the dishes you’d made baking, and get the food cooking with Steve.

But right now, those things weren’t something you wanted to do, and maybe, the weird trust that had floated in the air for the entire night meant that you didn’t have to care about what you should do, about the usual and ordinary route of doing things. Maybe you could simply do what you wanted, and see where it took you.

In a bout of courage, you ran your forefinger over the side of the spatula, sweeping a generous amount of batter onto it. You could feel Steve’s eyes on you, and when you looked up again, there was a darkness there that made your heart beat louder.

“I think this turned out delicious. You should try it?” you whispered, holding your hand up, almost beckoning him with the batter-covered finger.

You were proud of your hand not trembling, of your tone only to having that small question in it. For the second it took for Steve to understand your words, you thought you’d made a glorious miscalculation. The only sound you could hear was the breathing of you.

And then, after shifting the bouquet so that it rested on his left arm, he reached for your hand. His fingers wrapped gently around your wrist, so lightly that the barest flex of your hand would’ve removed it from his grip, and yet it was the furthest thing from your mind. His hand was so warm it felt like it was radiating pure heat up your arm so that it pooled in your chest and at the bottom of your belly. You didn’t dare to move, you didn’t dare to breathe, you simply watched, eyes riveted on the movement when he brought the hand onto his lips.

His mouth was so soft against your finger. At first, it was a simple kiss, almost something like the back-of-the-hand kisses from fairy tales, and yet, the way his gaze was aflame when he kept his eyes in yours seemed to belong to a completely different sort of tale. When you didn’t yank your hand back at the touch of his lips, he grew bolder, his thumb sweeping a caress onto the sensitive underside of your wrist right at the edge of your palm. His tongue swept the side of your finger before his mouth wrapped around it, sucking the last of the batter off.

A tiny, desperate whine escaped from the depths of your throat, and if it hadn’t been for his super-hearing, it might’ve blown entirely past him. But it didn’t. His darkened eyes locked back on yours, and for a half-second of pure, blessed clarity, you realized the power of a man you were playing with, and some sort of eons-old instinct that was purring in the back of your head at the possibility of bedding him took the reins for you:

“Please.”

It was just as tiny and desperate as your whine had been, but it was a much clearer permission for him to proceed, and with a movement so fast you could hardly catch it, he threw the roses onto the kitchen island and grabbed you by the hips, bringing your body against his and his mouth down to yours.

The kiss’ urgency shot through your veins, setting them alight with desire, and you brought your free hand up to wrap around the nape of his neck, keeping his mouth right where it was. A low sound, a growl almost, rumbled in his chest as he felt your touch, the eagerness with which your body arched for him when his arm wrapped around your midriff, pulling you tight against his body. He nibbled your lower lip, leaving behind a faint taste of vinegar from the fish & chips you had shared, and then traced his way down the column of your neck with small kisses.

“God you’re so beautiful,” he rasped. “I just… Please tell me yes.”

“Yes,” you breathed, barely able to get the three letters out of your hazy brain that had zeroed in on the way Steve felt against you, the way his hips pressed against yours.

The second he heard you say that, he crouched down only enough to bring his hands to the back of your thighs, lifting you up to his arms with ease that made your stomach do a flip. You were ready for him, ready to be carried to the bedroom and kept there until your voice was hoarse from screaming his name, ready to let him to have and to hold.

But it wasn’t in his mind to venture that far. He lifted you up on the kitchen counter, and you spread your legs so that he could get in between. It would be the perfect height, and what you felt when his hips pressed against you this way filled you with something that was a mixture of exhilaration and slight dread at the size of him. Before you could think about it too much, his soft, perfect mouth was back on yours, emptying your head about anything except his taste, now pure Steve in a way that made something within you whine.

You tossed the spatula still in your hand away, hoping it would land somewhere in the general direction of the sink, and moved your hands to the top button of the shirt Steve had only a moment ago put on. With self-control that would’ve moved mountains, you moved your head so that your lips separated from his, and he stopped, his forehead leaning against yours and his breaths coming in harsh, graving bouts.

“Doll?” he whispered.

“Is it a yes?” you whispered in turn, fingers fiddling with the closed button.

“God yes,” he breathed out, his mouth coming back to yours as if all his control had been drained by that small moment of confirmation, and then there was nothing standing in your way.

You fumbled your way through opening the buttons and then pushing the shirt off his shoulders, revealing his warm, chiseled upper body for you to map with your greedy hands. It was almost too much, too perfect, his serum-enhanced physiology something out of a wild daydream — and now, it was yours to touch. You ran your hands all over his abs and pecs and arms and back, and the muffled groans he buried in your neck filled you with satisfaction, even as the way his hips were rocking against yours was awakening a deeper craving in you than you had thought possible.

“There are condoms in the bathroom, I can go get one…” he whispered, his forehead moving to rest against yours as you breathed on each other’s lips.

Even as he spoke, his large hands were running up your stocking-covered legs and then hips. Finally, they settled on the underside of your breasts, his thumbs brushing over your nipples. Even through the layers of apron and dress, the touch was almost unbearable, too much and too little at the same time, and you couldn’t bear the thought of Steve leaving the cradle of your thighs for even a moment.

“I have an IUD,” you said. “And I trust you if you trust me.”

He swallowed hard, nodding, and then his hands were on the move again. They traced their way down your sides and then slipped underneath your skirt, his eyes fixed on yours. He was giving you plenty of time to tell him to stop if you changed your mind, and yet stopping was the furthest thing from your hazy mind.

“You’ve been driving me crazy the whole night,” he rasped. “The whole day, really. Ever since you sent me that picture… It’s been all I’ve been able to think about. You are so goddamn beautiful that I can’t fathom how I got this lucky.”

Your eyes fell closed as his fingers wrapped around the waistband of your stockings, and with some maneuvering and rocking from you, he slipped them off your legs. The stone counter was a little cold underneath your butt, but it was something you barely acknowledged when Steve was looking at you with darkened eyes, gathering your skirts slowly up to your hips and making you whine in anticipation.

“That eager for me, beautiful?” he murmured. “Good. I want you moaning my name before we are done; I want to drive you just as crazy as you drive me, I want to see those gorgeous eyes glazed over with the pleasure I bring you.”

Oh god. You hadn’t anticipated this, any of this, sleeping with Steve on the first date, or him having that sort of mouth, but something pleased rippled down your spine as you realized how much of an expression of trust this was. A different kind than your talk in the car, certainly, but another one regardless.

“Please.”

“Oh, that’s a good girl.”

The gravelly tone and the words of praise combined with hot fingers smoothing up the inside of your leg made your vision cloud over with a red haze. He noticed your reaction — of course he did, with his eyes fixed on your face when he touched you, and a smile so smug it almost glowed spread on his face.

“That’s it, isn’t it? You like me telling you how perfect you are for me.”

It wasn’t a question, which was good, because his fingers finally, finally reached the apex of your thighs, diving into your wet folds, and the only thing you could do in response was to grab his shoulders and let out a whine, your hips rocking up to his touch.

“So wet for me, doll,” he whispered, his hand twisting so that his thumb landed on your clit and his forefinger teased your entrance, pure electricity shooting up from where he touched you and making you sparkle with pure lust.

You arched for him when he started drawing gentle circles on you, finger finally entering you with an audible groan from his mouth as he felt your tightness. Your head fell back, and he brought his other hand to the nape of your neck, holding you in a perfect position to lean over you and capture your lips for a kiss. And the hand didn’t stop; he was reading your reactions with all his strategic intelligence, finding the perfect ways to touch and stroke, everything inside you winding tighter and tighter and tighter.

“Steve,” you moaned when he released your mouth because saying his name was more important than breathing.

“Are you going to come for me, beautiful? Does my hand feel that good? I want it, baby, let me have it.”

As if you could’ve stopped it even if you had wanted to. Your peak poured over you like a tidal wave, drowning you in it, and you brought your hands into the back of Steve’s neck to pull his mouth to yours when it happened. He let you ride it, extending the feeling with his touch until you were a panting, hazy mess, barely able to see.

“I need you inside me, right now, you panted the second his hand retreated, your hand going for the buckle of his belt.

As collected as he had appeared with his words, he certainly wasn’t unaffected by you, either. He buried his face into the crook of your neck, groaning as your hand slipped down the front of his pants, feeling the diamond-hard length of him. He rocked his hips into your hand as you explored him with your fingers, feeling the moisture at the tip of his cock that told you he was just as eager as you.

You freed him from his pants, feasting your eyes at the sight of him, your mouth watering, and if it hadn’t been for the aching emptiness in your core, you would’ve dropped on your knees to taste him. Based on the way he’d been staring at your red lipstick, he wouldn’t have objected to it. But no. You needed more, and so did he, lifting his face to look at you as his hands pulled you to the very edge of the counter. You wrapped your legs around him as he lined himself up, dragging the head of his cock through your wetness in a way that made you both take a violent breath. His other hand moved your skirts and —

Suddenly, a bubble of laughter formed in your chest, escaping your lips as a small giggle, and Steve lifted his eyes from where he’d been staring at the apex of your thighs. He was smiling too; a happy glow mixed into the darkened look of his eyes, and you couldn’t resist swiping a tendril of hair away from his forehead — you must’ve marred his perfect hairdo with your hands when he’d been working magic with his hand.

“What is it?” he whispered.

“Should I take the apron off?” you grinned, and he tilted his head.

The smile on his face turned into a devious smirk, and then, with one smooth, slow stroke, he buried himself inside you. The movement knocked all thought away from your head, your mouth opening in a gasp as you felt yourself accommodate his impressive size, and god, yes, you were his now, ruined from anything else now that you’d felt him inside you, felt him pull you into an embrace as he slowly started moving, his lips dropping kisses into your jawline.

“Let’s leave it,” he rasped, as if you could’ve managed something as complicated as opening the knot of the apron’s strings in this state. “I like it… Makes you look all mine. And I have time to enjoy more of your beautiful body before this night is over.”

It was a promise and a threat at the same time — this was only the beginning and yet, you could already feel the white haze of another peak creeping into your brain, just as you’d barely stopped floating in the tail waves of the previous one, and you were not sure any mortal was meant to survive an experience this divine. But Steve was a demigod more than he was a man, as human as he was, and a primal part of you was nodding eagerly at the idea of him truly keeping you in his bed for the entirety of the night.

“Steve…” you whimpered.

“I’m right here, beautiful,” he cooed. “God, you feel so fucking perfect on my cock, jesus christ.”

His movements were speeding up, his patience unraveling, and yet, he wasn’t about to leave you wanting. His hand found its way back to where you were joined, fingers stroking your clit. The touch was tender, careful not to hurt you, and yet the overwhelm of it and the way he was moving inside you blurred into a flurry of sensation. He was ripping sounds of you that you hadn’t known you were capable of making, keening whines and gasps and whimpers that made him chuckle darkly as he stared at you like you were the center of his universe.

Your core fluttering around him, almost there, almost almost almost —

“Give it to me, doll, come on my cock,” he murmured on the shell of your ear, and the words were your final undoing.

You tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling his lips on yours and letting him have your whimpers directly from your mouth. You were shaking in his hand hard enough that you might’ve been worried about falling off the counter if it hadn’t been for Steve holding you by your hips, his thrust speeding up and losing rhythm when he approached his point of no return and then —

there.

You felt him spill inside you, his back muscles trembling with the force of his climax, a moan resembling your name falling from his lips as he dropped his forehead to rest against yours, breathing harshly.

For a few breaths, neither of you said anything, and then Steve pulled his head back just far enough to be able to look at you.

“So, um, will you believe me if I say I didn’t bring you here just for this?” he said.

The sheepish tone compared with the fact that you hadn’t even made it to the bedroom and that he was still inside you made it impossible to not laugh. You pulled him for another kiss for an answer — lighter, sated, happier…

almost loving, very, very soon it would be

…and he answered the kiss just the same way. Soon, you’d have to move, get cleaned up, get the brownies out of the oven, get the food situation sorted out with Steve but not just yet.

For a few minutes more, you could just linger here in his warmth and his scent, enjoying the beginning of your happily ever after.

THE END. Thank you for reading!

[m41to]

Would you treat your date to a giant baguette or a giant cake?

Up for grabs!

[whxre4hange]

tua and miraculous ladybug - a crossover

op note: GUYS THIS IS SUCH A FKN NICHE HEADCANON BUT IDC

luther / minotaur (ox miraculous)

the beefiest superhero in paris, but absolutely the worst at being subtle.

gets the ox miraculous (strength-based, obviously) but still forgets he has superpowers and tries to do things manually. like, why are you punching the bad guy when you could just lift a car and throw it??

tried to be the team leader, but ladybug (marinette) was like "no thanks" and put him on "do what you’re told" duty.

awkwardly tries to flirt with ladybug because she reminds him of sloane (she has zero interest).

once got akumatized because the team ignored his really long battle strategy speech. became a giant, depressed ox man who just stood there monologuing while the city crumbled around him.

diego / blade (turtle miraculous)

gets the turtle miraculous (yeah, i know it’s a shield-based power, but listen: he would absolutely throw it like captain america).

tried to fight ladybug on sight when they first met because he thought she was a vigilante rival.

hates chat noir for being "too goofy," but lowkey respects him when no one’s looking.

got akumatized into "El Torpedo", a human missile who literally threw himself at people out of rage.

once threw his miraculous shield too hard and had to chase it across paris before it landed in some tourist’s baguette.

has an actual rivalry with hawkmoth because "he reminds me of dad and i wanna punch him."

klaus / specter (butterfly miraculous - temporary holder, chaos ensues)

okay, so klaus accidentally gets the butterfly miraculous for like, a week.

instead of being a villain, he just uses it to cause absolute nonsense—like akumatizing a random pigeon just to see what would happen.

somehow makes the least threatening akumas ever. imagine a sentimonster that just wants to hug people or one that’s just a giant floating beer bottle.

gabriel agreste is fucking FUMING because klaus is ruining his entire aesthetic.

once tried to akumatize himself out of curiosity but got distracted halfway through and forgot what he was doing.

eventually gives the miraculous back because it’s "too much responsibility, man" but still calls himself the greatest butterfly holder in history.

allison / siren (fox miraculous)

obviously the fox miraculous. illusions + rumors?? she is unstoppable.

her power works too well—like, she can create an illusion and tell someone "i heard you think it’s real" and suddenly it is.

ladybug lowkey doesn’t trust her because "this is too powerful in the wrong hands," but allison swears she’s using it responsibly.

(she’s not. she totally uses it to mess with chat noir for fun).

almost got akumatized once when someone leaked false rumors about her, but she shut it down so fast that even hawkmoth was like ???

fully lives a double life as a famous celebrity and somehow no one notices she’s siren.

ben / phantom (peacock miraculous - reluctant user)

he doesn’t want the peacock miraculous, but someone has to take it before klaus does.

only uses his sentimonsters for practical reasons, like sending one to do his homework or stand in line at the bakery for him.

super careful about not messing up like gabriel, but klaus keeps trying to dare him into making a giant kaiju just to "see what happens."

talks to his sentimonsters like they’re actual people and gets attached way too fast.

once created a sentimonster version of himself so he could leave the team chat and nap instead.

accidentally bonded with adrien because they both have "dad issues" and now adrien won’t leave him alone.

five / tempus (rabbit miraculous)

immediately stole the rabbit miraculous because "no one else is smart enough to use it properly."

treats literally every battle like a game of 4D chess.

has zero patience for chat noir’s jokes and actively corrects ladybug’s plans while they’re mid-battle.

once got stuck in a time loop for two weeks and came back looking even more tired than usual.

straight-up tried to assassinate hawkmoth instead of just stopping his akumas, and ladybug had to physically drag him away.

secretly enjoys the superhero life but will never admit it.

viktor / echo (tiger miraculous)

shockingly good at superhero-ing.

the tiger miraculous gives him unpredictable bursts of power, and it turns out viktor with super strength is terrifying.

looks so normal in civilian life that no one suspects him, but the second he transforms, he’s the most intense fighter on the team.

ladybug keeps trying to strategize, but viktor just silently punches the akuma so hard the battle ends in 5 minutes.

got akumatized once into "Crescendo", a villain who turned paris itself into a giant sound amplifier and nearly destroyed half the city.

apologized after getting purified, but deep down? no regrets.

lila / wildcard (stole a miraculous, won’t say which one)

straight-up stole a miraculous from master fu before he left.

refuses to tell anyone which miraculous she has.

keeps popping up in battles on both sides, just to mess with people.

got akumatized once and just used it as an opportunity to insult every hero individually before getting purified.

has dirt on literally everyone in paris.

if anyone asks why she does this, she just shrugs and says, "for fun."

reginald / hawkmoth 2.0

worse than gabriel agreste, somehow.

akumatizes his own kids just to "test their resilience."

never even hides his identity—just casually akumatizes people while drinking expensive whiskey in his mansion.

once akumatized himself to see if he could "become the ultimate being." (he didnt).

sends unnecessarily cryptic messages to ladybug just to mess with her.

definitely has a second, secret miraculous and refuses to tell anyone what it is.

bonus chaos

klaus and adrien become best friends, which is a terrible idea for everyone involved.

five tries every day to figure out who ladybug and chat noir are but gets way too frustrated by the magic loopholes.

viktor plays the violin on rooftops like some kind of dramatic antihero.

diego and chloé have screaming matches on sight.

luther keeps getting stuck in doorways because he’s too big in miraculous form.

paris is fucking doomed.

[charlielki]

Part 1: Pacifica's story

Pacifica stormed into her palatial bedroom and slammed the door so hard her chandeliers shook.

(There were at least 3 chandeliers in Pacifica’s room, including a teensy chandelier over her nightlight.)

She buried her head in a velvet pillow and screamed for an inhumanly long time, then flopped over and stewed at the painted cherubs on her ceiling. It wasn’t FAIR.

After everything she did for her parents- get up at 5 for fencing lessons, beauty pageants, fox-hunting, butler-hunting, cleaning up the black feathers after dads weird “grown up masquerade parties”- THIS is how they repay her HER! PACIFICA ELISA NORTHWEST!

It had been a rough summer for Pacifica- first she came alarmingly close to losing a Party Crown, then her golf skills were called into question, and now her parents grounded her for literally saving the entire family from a Category 10 ghost and shut off the spigot on her caviar tap for rest of the year. What was she supposed to eat now Dog Food She angrily opened her mini-fridge and pulled out an UpperCrustablesTM brand snack pack and angrily spread the caviar on the tiny baguette.

“Ugh, why does it come with this dumb little stick. The caviar always gets stuck in the CORNERS!”

She looked at a napkin where Dipper had written the shack’s phone number in case killing the ghost might have created a “double ghost.” Ha! As if she would put HIS number in HER phone.

Everything in her life used to make so much more sense before those PINES twins came along and screwed everything up.

That stupid Mabel and her baffling, undeserved confidence. That know-it-all sweat stain Dipper who’s giant head was always butting against hers.

Something about Dipper’s words had knocked over a domino in her mind that started a chain reaction that was causing her whole identity to come crashing down.

He told her she had potential to change into…a better person. How do you become a better person when you’re already the best person? It didn’t make sense!

Thinking about it exhausted her, and soon, her eyelids began to droop.

Soon she was… she was...

Zzz-

In Pacifica’s dream, she was freshening up at a party washing her hands when she noticed something… red, swirling in the drain.

[triassictriserratops]

Loved your post about Peeta "Send It" Mellark about him being buried in the hole for days. I've seen the interpretation that Peeta saying "Oh, I don't care if you see me" is canon that Peeta  has (or at least believes he has) a huge cock, i.e., I got nothing to be ashamed of, Katniss please look at what I can offer you. I think this interpretation is also where a lot of fics got that he is very big, in girth and length. I'm curious where you come down on this. Do you think this line alludes to canonically saying he's hung like a horse? If not, do you headcanon that he's large? Basically talk to me about Peeta's cock lol. Please ignore this if it's too ridiculous.

In response to this post.

Peeta was on deaths door but he was going to go out with a bang AND die trying. As far as Peeta's Baguette goes, I'm going to go ahead and quote @waywardangel-wilds from a conversation we had about this earlier today (I promise you all don't (desperately do) want to see our conversations.) "Peeta's got girth. idk about length but when he puts it in your mouth goes O" Fucking SHAKESPEARE. Please write my eulogy, Cassie. And, you know what? she's absolutely RIGHT. man is a whole sandwich that, when you look at it, you're just like "ain't no fucking way i can fit that whole thing in my mouth, something's gonna slide out the sides." i'm not going to put his length in inches, but i will say that his length is exactly both of Katniss' fists and some of her mouth long. use that information how you will. just tag me when you do, you fucking heathens (affectionate)

... nobody asked but i'm going to put this here anyways. biggest dick of the series? big zaddy slaymitch. mans is PACKING. Peeta got like 8 eyefulls the day he bathed him on the train. When Peeta and Katniss have sex for the first time, Peeta's going to be thinking about Haymitch's giant fucking cheek slapper to help him last longer. works better than ANY grandmother or baseball stats.

[themoonweaversden]

Messeges that were found so far: PLATINUM PAZ (spoilers)

This is just to collect all the codes that you can type in in thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com and their effects only (please click images for better quality)

Masterpost with all messeges / codes

Transcript:

"Pacifica stormed into her palatial bedroom and slammed the door so hard her chandeliers shook. (There were at least 3 chandeliers in Pacifica’s room, including a teensy chandelier over her nightlight.) She buried her head in a velvet pillow and screamed for an inhumanly long time, then flopped over and stewed at the painted cherubs on her ceiling. It wasn’t FAIR. After everything she did for her parents- get up at 5 for fencing lessons, beauty pageants, fox-hunting, butler-hunting, cleaning up the black feathers after dads weird “grown up masquerade parties”- THIS is how they repay her? HER! PACIFICA ELISA NORTHWEST?!

It had been a rough summer for Pacifica- first she came alarmingly close to losing a Party Crown, then her golf skills were called into question, and now her parents grounded her for literally saving the entire family from a Category 10 ghost and shut off the spigot on her caviar tap for rest of the year. What was she supposed to eat now? Dog Food? She angrily opened her mini-fridge and pulled out an UpperCrustables™ brand snack pack and angrily spread the caviar on the tiny baguette. “Ugh, why does it come with this dumb little stick? The caviar always gets stuck in the CORNERS!”

She looked at a napkin where Dipper had written the shack’s phone number in case killing the ghost might have created a “double ghost.” Ha! As if she would put HIS number in HER phone.

Everything in her life used to make so much more sense before those PINES twins came along and screwed everything up. That stupid Mabel and her baffling, undeserved confidence. That know-it-all sweat stain Dipper who’s giant head was always butting against hers. Something about Dipper’s words had knocked over a domino in her mind that started a chain reaction that was causing her whole identity to come crashing down. He told her she had potential to change into…a better person? How do you become a better person when you’re already the best person? It didn’t make sense!

Thinking about it exhausted her, and soon, her eyelids began to droop.

Soon she was...

she was...

Zzzz...

In Pacifica’s dream, she was freshening up at a party washing her hands when she noticed something... red swirling in the drain.

In horror, she discovered her hands were covered in blood, and no matter how hard she scrubbed them, they wouldn’t come clean. On the mirror, words slowly started two write themselves on their own, as if by an invisible hand…

BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS

“NO, NO, IT’S NOT MY FAULT!”

An overpowering sense of guilt swelled inside as she fled to the ballroom for help, where she spotted her friends gossiping by a tapestry. She tried to flip them around, but when she grabbed their shoulders, they fell over, flat, They were... cardboard? She turned to her parents, and they fell over flat too. The entire party was filled with flat, 2D people, everyone was fake. Blood began to fill the ballroom, pouring from the clock, from the paintings, from the ceiling. Why was this happening?! She raced through her manor in a blind panic, when she discovered she was no longer in the mansion, but outside in Gravity Falls. When she looked down, she realized she was now 100 feet tall, and every step she made was wrecking the town. She knocked over the mudflap factory, polluting the river. She knocked over the orphanage, sending coughing soot-covered children out into the cold.

She kept apologizing, but she was too big, too public, every step hurting more and more people. Everyone could see that the town’s problems were her fault. She was a monster. She always had been. She always would be.

Pacifica started sobbing and suddenly, she was a little girl again, hiding behind the vine-covered tombstones in the graveyard behind the Manor after another one of her parents fights. The graves of her ancestors loomed above her like gargoyles, great Northwests in history. What would they say if they could see her like this?

One of the statues slowly turned to face Pacifica. It was Nathaniel Northwest.

“Get a hold of yourself. You’re a Northwest, people can’t know you leak shame-water.”

“You’re right,” Pacifica apologized, and hastily took out her compact to clean her smeared makeup. She cursed as she saw how dishevelled she was.

The statue watched her like a cat hungrily watching a mouse.

“You have a lot of anger, don’t you.”

“Anyone whose not angry is an idiot. There’s so much to be mad about.”

“Yes. Anger is good. Anger is useful. Who are you angry at, Pacifica?”

“Everything was better before the PINES came to town...”

“You know, I might be able to help with that... there’s something I want. The Mystery Shack is going to be getting some new merchandise very soon. A small snow globe, nothing anyone would miss. If you could shoplift it for me, I could guarantee things would change. You’d never deal with the Pines again...”

Pacifica closed her compact. Would that fix everything?

“It would be so easy... all you have to do to get your old life back is shake...my...hand”

The statue extended its stony hand. Thunder rumbled in the distance.

[IMAGE]

Slowly she reached out to shake- then abruptly stopped. Something was off.

“My old life... wasn’t really mine, was it? All I ever did was follow my mom and dad. Maybe... it would be better to...make a new one.”

The STATUE BELLOWED with RAGE.

“MAKE? HA! YOU INHERIT. YOUR FAMILY LEGACY IS ALL YOU’RE WORTH. YOU MAKE NOTHING. YOU CAN’T EVEN MAKE FRIENDS.”

This had always been true... in the past.

His hand extended toward her. Looming. Trembling. She remembered a time when a hand extended toward her, offering a free snack in the back seat of a car.

“MAKE THE DEAL YOU LITTLE FAKE BLONDE IMPENDING PATERNITY TEST”

Pacifica’s face relaxed. She knew it was cliché, but she knew she had to do it. She slowly extended her hand. Just as the giant lichen-covered hand was about to close around hers like a cage of stone fingers, she swung her arm up and behind her head.

“Sike.”

“WHAT?!”

“Too slow!”

“YOU WORM!!!! YOU WORTHLESS WASTE OF STOLEN INCOME!!!! YOU’LL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING. I SEE A FUTURE WHERE YOU’RE PENNILESS, WORKING AT THE DINER, YOU’LL HAVE NOTHING, YOU-”

The statue shook with rage, sending cracks from its hand all the way up to its shrieking head. It crumbled apart in front of her, screaming in pain.

GONG!

Pacifica awoke with a start, panting. The clock in the hallway had struck 3 AM. She was covered in sweat. What had she been dreaming about? She couldn’t remember. She didn’t want to remember.

She wasn’t quite sure why, but she removed a tapestry that she’d always had on her wall. Something her family had no doubt looted ages ago- of a glowing triangle over the mountains. She rolled it up and put it in the closet and locked the padlock. Maybe she should hold onto Dipper’s number just in case. She entered it into her phone and felt an odd sense of calm suddenly wash over her. It was quiet once again in Northwest Manor.

Pacifica slept better than she had in years.

VWDB DZDB IURP KHU FLSKHU. VKH KDV WKH SURWHFWLRQ RI WKH OXPEHUIRONV VSLULWV."

The last line is in caesar -3

Code deciphered: STAY AWAY FROM HER CIPHER. SHE HAS THE PROTECTION OF THE LUMBERFOLKS SPIRITS.