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smolwritingchick · 1 year ago

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The Bangtan Gal Chapter 38- I'm Lacking

Chapter Summary: BTS film Season's Greetings. Jen supports GFriend's debut. The Anti hate begins to get to Jennie harder than before as she begins to push herself. She learns the hard way what happens when she wants to work 24/7.

Words: 6,000+

Genre: Fluff and also angst with more hate comments and racism.

-----

When Jennie woke up, it was past 9 am, and she somewhat felt disappointed at the loss of heat from Jungkook when she got out of bed to stretch. She had a great night’s sleep thanks to him and she planned to spoon more often if he was okay with it. He was comfortable to sleep with and not to mention, warm.

Glancing at the bed, she smiled at the cute sight of the puppy curled up in a ball, next to him. Gently picking up the sleeping puppy in her arms, she placed the covers on Jungkook and set the puppy back to sleep next to him.

When she went out of her room, she was met by Jin, Yoongi, and Jimin eating breakfast.

“Morning!” She took a seat next to Jimin as she was greeted back.

“Where’s Kookie?” Jimin asked.

“He’s in my room.”

Her statement caused Jin to stop eating and immediately turn to her. ��And what is he doing in your room?” He asked with his voice filled with panic.

“Here we fuckin’ go...” Yoongi put his headphones in, blasting music so he wouldn’t hear another freak out of his.

“What is he doing in your room, Jennie?” He repeated.

Confused at his sudden questioning, she replied in a calm tone, “Jin, relax-“

“JEON JUNGKOOK!” He screamed, standing up from his seat.

“H-hey! He’s sleeping!” She jumped on her feet, trying to stop him, but ended up getting picked up over his shoulder and placed on the couch. “Jin!”

“You might as well just leave him, Ennie.” Jimin laughed as they heard Jin’s shouts and Jungkook’s yells of confusion.

The puppy ended up running out of the room until it found Jennie. She picked it up and held it in her arms. She felt the puppy shaking in fear as she began to soothe it by gently petting its head.

“Jin! You scared him!” She scolded as he dragged Jungkook out of the room by the ear.

“How heartless,” Yoongi commented after taking off his headphones.

Jungkook sat on the couch with her, rubbing his ear, lowkey annoyed at how his sleep was interrupted.

“Hyung, was that really necessary?” He complained. “And you scared Tony.” He frowned and turned his head to the shaking puppy in Jen’s arms.

“It’s okay.” She cooed as the puppy whined. “Hey, hey. Shh.” She hugged it close as it started to calm down.

“Let me see the little guy.” He requested as she placed the puppy in his hands. Jungkook picked him up and turned the puppy to face him. “Jin is mean, isn’t he, Tony?”

“A big meanie for scaring you.” She added as she smiled at the puppy.

“Don’t be scared, you’re safe with Kookie and Jennie. We’ll protect you.” He whispered gently.

“We won’t let anyone hurt you.”

“Yeah, so have no fear, little guy.”

Jimin watched them both with the puppy. It was like they were taking care of a baby. It was cute to watch them together like this as a smile came across his face.

“Was that your Christmas gift, smartie?” Yoongi asked.

“Yes. We’re taking care of him together.” She answered.

“We’re just in a disagreement about if it should be a Captain America based name or Iron Man based.” Jungkook playfully narrowed his eyes at her as she rolled her eyes.

“I didn’t mean to scare the puppy.” Jin tried to explain.

“Too late, you already scared the poor puppy! How dare you?” Jimin called him out. “At least his parents are there to calm him down.”

After the puppy calmed down, it began to act hyper and happy again, putting smiles on its owners’ faces.

“I don’t feel comfortable with you two in the same bed together, all right? No more going in each other’s rooms.” Jin ordered.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me!” Jennie complained. “We’re just sleeping!”

Jimin giggled at her statement. “Yes, friends sleep with each other, I don’t see anything wrong with that.”

“Thank you! We sleep with each other a lot.”

“What-what-WHAT!?” Jin shouted.

Jimin couldn’t hold in his laughter as he began to giggle out loud, banging his fist on the table. Yoongi smirked in amusement and shook his head.

“What is so funny!?” She exclaimed, turning to Jimin.

“Nothing, nothing. You can carry on.” He gestured.

“I think you two need to write a report of the things you do together. Should I get hidden cameras?” Jin suggested.

Jennie glanced at Jungkook and they both turned to look at Jin, unamused.

“All right now you’re outta pocket.” She declared.

“What does that mean!?” Jin looked confused.

“It means you’re getting old...” Yoongi bluntly replied.

“I am not old!” Jin shouted, as his ears began to get red.

“Jin, you really need to calm down. Let the kids live.”

----

Their season’s greetings took place in a studio in Gangnam as the members began to walk in, greeting everyone while they were filmed. Jen’s hair was straightened with curls at the end while wearing a hoodie, jeans with gingerbread earrings and black Nikes.

She waited patiently for her turn to take individual photos as she sat with V who played around with the dogs.

‘Are you wearing Nikes today?’

She was asked as a huge grin came across her features. “Oh well, you know I have to represent Nike. Like, Nike is life. Look at these sneaks!” She pointed to her black and white Nikes for the camera as it panned down. “Look at em! Dayum~! Some nice sneaks, right here.”

‘Miss Bangtan seems to be in her own little world with Nike.’

When it was finally her turn, she walked into a bedroom filled with teddy bears and other stuffed animals.

“I’m on the November page since my birthday is in November. Let’s go!” She shot the camera a thumbs up.

Making her way to the middle of the room, she sat on the floor with the stuffed animals all around. She was told to act cute, so she grabbed a bottle of bubbles on the table, blowing bubbles around as the photographer snapped away. Afterward, she sat next to the huge brown teddy bear on the floor, hugging it from the side. She then sat in front of it, holding onto its big fluffy arms, wrapping around her.

“Whoa!” She laughed as it fell on top of her.

The photographer caught her mid-laugh, it looked candid, deciding to keep it. She then posed in a chair drinking hot chocolate and cozied up.

As the rest of the members took their photos, Jennie sat with Jimin, who decided to interview her.

“Jennie, welcome to Jimin TV. Let’s do a 30 second fun fact session. Ready? Go!”

“Oh okay, well, I have you know that Miss Bangtan speaks four languages.” She revealed to the camera recording them.

“Whoa. What are they?”

“English. Korean. Sarcasm and Profanity. I’m not sorry, mom.” She grinned sheepishly over Jimin's giggles.

“What are your goals for 2015?”

“This is a long-term goal but I want K-Pop to be recognized more in America. I hope we’re able to achieve that goal, soon. And I want to improve my singing and dancing skills.”

“I believe we can achieve these goals together. 2015 will be a good year.” He reassured.

“Fighting!”

Standing up to stretch, she turned to see Jungkook with big Mickey Mouse gloves on his hands, fooling around.

“Hey, Jungkook, give me a combination. Let’s test your skills.” She put her palms in front of him, pretending to train him in boxing.

“You got it.” He hit her palms with a fast combination. The speed of his hands caused her to turn to the camera, impressed.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I believe he’s ready for the championship.”

After the series of photoshoots with all the members, acting bright and cheerful, they head off to the next studio. Once arriving, the members begin to play around with the rocking horse prop.

Sounds of laughter came from J-Hope, Jin and Jennie as J-Hope began to ride around on the horse after Jin.

“Even the tail is moving.” Jin pointed out.

“Let me try.” She gets on the horse after him. “WEEEEEEEEEE!” She yelled, rocking back and forth. “I’m getting Rookie King vibes.” She let out another laugh with the members.

After she got off, she tried to stop V from sitting on the small toy hippo.

“V! That’s a hippo!” She grabbed the stuffed toy away from him before he could sit on it. “Do you see how tiny this thing is? Hippo, I am so sorry, you’re safe now.” She held it against her chest protectively.

The only response she got from him was a fit of giggles as she shook her head in amusement. After changing into a red sweater dress and black thigh-high boots, Jen watches Jungkook take his individual photos.

“Hehehe, he has cute rabbit ears.” She giggled at the sight. “He’s cute and awkward. I think that’s what makes him so adorable.”

After his photo shoot with the rabbit ears, the stylist placed Mickey Mouse ears on him.

“Cuteness overload! This is too much cuteness in the morning.” She beamed.

After a few more photos, Jungkook gestures for her to come over and take photos with him.

“Come on, Jennie! I’m not Mickey Mouse without my Minnie.” His cute bunny smile made it hard to resist his request.

Chuckling at his cheesiness, she obliged his request. One of the stylists placed a Minnie Mouse headband on Jen’s head and retouched her hair and makeup. After she was done, Jungkook and Jennie began to shoot.

“97 Line all day!” She cheered

The two of them take various poses such as putting up the peace sign, showing off their cheesy/bunny smiles, and Jen putting her arms around his neck from behind while they grin happily. They even both posed by simultaneously making a punch to the camera.

’97 Liners make the cute concept look easy’

As they stood back to back, Jungkook leaned forward with his hands in his pockets while Jen leaned back, keeping her back against his as the photographer snapped away. Once Jennie was left alone for her individual shots, she took photos with a blown up candy cane. She jumped up in the air, posing with it like she was playing the guitar. Going to the camera to go see how her shots came out, she was pleased to see how great the air guitar pose looked.

“Keep it! Put it in! I love it.”

Once she finished her shots, she worked on her New Year greeting for the fans by drawing ARMY in bubble letters with hearts around. Under it, she writes the caption, ‘#ARMYXBTS2K15! Let’s slay 2015 together! ❤ ❤’

All the members regroup to take group photos with a mischief concept. From Jimin throwing cheeseballs at Jennie as she aimed to catch them by her mouth, to her putting on Jungkook’s Mickey Mouse gloves to add to her Minnie Mouse concept, the concept went well as everyone was in high spirits. Jimin and Jungkook picked up V while Suga and J-Hope picked up Jin as Jennie and Rapmon were the refs, watching the chaos unfold.

It wasn’t even a photo shoot anymore because it was all filled with laughter as V and Jin tried to grab onto each other. It was nothing but chaos as Jen and Rapmon looked around for help. After their last shoot with red noses on their noses, they all applaud and cheer that the season’s greeting photoshoot was successful.

“Thank you for your hard work~” Jennie grinned at the camera.

“Please support our next year’s season’s greeting and look at our beautiful faces,” Jin added with a smile.

“Today’s photo shoot was really fun.” Jimin grinned.

“Leave no, leave.” Suga shoved him away.

Jimin continued to talk despite Suga continuously shoving him. “Thank you for supporting us until the end. Please keep loving BTS in the future.” He giggled as Jin placed a hand on the camera.

Pulling Jin’s hand away from it, Jimin placed a kiss on the camera.

“I hope you look forward to next year’s Season’s Greetings!” Jennie went on as Suga turned the camera to him, getting all up close.

“I’m back~!”

“Aye! I wasn’t done!” She pushed him away with J-Hope. “Look forward to next year!” She happily shouted before getting put into a headlock by Suga.

“Please look forward to season’s greeting!” J-Hope grinned.

“Why do we always interrupt each other? We should help each other.” Jimin pondered.

It seems like he had the most sense around here.

-------

At the KBS Song Festival, Jen was already dressed for the It’s Tricky stage with the rest of the members.

Leaving the dressing room, she found herself in the mix of all the business of the show and various groups preparing for their stages. She didn’t want to be stuck with the members, she was always with them. She wanted to find some familiar faces and if not, make a few new friends.

“Hey, hey.” She heard a familiar voice and turned to see Taeil from Block B.

“Taeil! It’s been a while.” She pulled him in for a hug.

The last time she saw him was at the MAMA Awards. She was pleased to see him doing well.

“It has. Good job performing Danger earlier.”

“Thanks, I’m looking forward to your stage, tonight.”

“It’s gonna be a fun one. I’m surprised you’re not with the members, right now.”

“I’m trying to make some friends here.” She sighed.

“I think I see Bora, from Sistar is over there.” He pointed out to her at the refreshment table.

“I see her. All righty. I’ll see you before the show is over, all right? Tell the guys I said hey.”

“You got it.”

Turning her attention to Bora, Jen made her way to her. “Excuse me.”

“Yes?” Bora turned around with a smile.

“Bora, right? From Sistar?”

“That’s me. You’re from America, right? BTS’ Bangtan girl?”

“Yeah, it’s nice to meet you. I was wondering if we could hang out or something. I’m trying to meet new people.”

“And get away from the boys?” She teased.

“That too!” She shared a laugh with her.

“Well, of course, we can hang out. Dasom, she can speak English too.”

“Oh really? Nice.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she’ll love to talk to you. I was on my way back to the girls. Follow me, I’ll introduce you to them.”

Meeting Bora and the rest of the Sistar members went smoothly for Jennie. They were extremely sweet and Dasom was eager to speak with her. After hanging with them, she bumped into AOA’s Jimin, Mina and Choa. Jen thought that Jimin’s voice was unique and complimented her and even found out that some of the members played the guitar, eagerly suggesting that they should play together something. Maybe she could learn a few things from them. Networking was always a great thing.

Walking around backstage, she went back to the refreshment table, to grab a small plate of cookies.

“Hey, Jennie!” A deep voice filled her ears.

She turned to see a guy smiling brightly at her.

“Hi!" she greeted happily. "You look familiar...you wouldn’t happen to be a part of GOT7, would you?”

“You’re correct. I’m Jackson Wang. It’s nice to meet Miss Bangtan.”

“It’s nice to meet you too! I have been trying to get to know some new people. Get away from the guys.”

“Hahah, I wonder how they’ll feel about that. You know, I have a friend who’s really infatuated with you. He talks about you all the time. Now I see what he means about you having a cute smile.” He blurted out before getting smacked in the head by Mark who stood behind him. “Ow!”

“You are so gonna get killed now. You blab too much.” He scolded and turned to her. “Sorry about that. Ignore him. I’m Mark.”

“Jennie. Nice to meet you. Well, Jackson, whoever your friend is that’s infatuated with me, I’m flattered.”

“Friend? What friend? I said too much, ignore what I just said.” Jackson laughed nervously. ‘Oh, he is gonna kill me.’ He thought to himself.

Back to the boys in the BTS dressing room, Namjoon was on his phone, as usual, scrolling through Twitter until he found photos posted by Jennie, with the caption, ‘Friends!! Having a great time tonight! #Jen’

The photos consisted of her posing with Sistar, the AOA members she met, and Block B. ARMY was already tweeting how awesome it was that she was with them and how happy they were that she met them.

“Unbelievable...” He let out a chuckle. “This little girl is friggin’ everywhere. She’s gonna end up knowing everyone if she keeps this up.”

“She’s trying to get away from us.” Jimin pouted as he checked out the photos on his phone.

“Well we’re all guys, I’m sure she wants to be around women.” Jin reassured.

“She was just with Block B, hyung,” Jungkook informed.

“Oh.” Jin paused. “Never mind then. She’s trying to get away from us.”

As the night continued, the boys were on standby, getting ready to perform. Jungkook adjusted his USA hoodie and turned his head, only to frown at who Jennie was talking to.

The sound engineer guy? Again? Now, what did he want?

Jimin and Tae were joking around, while Jungkook continued to scowl, watching his every move.

“Hyung.” Jungkook spoke, catching their attention.

“What’s up, Kookie?” Jimin asked.

“Isn’t it that guy?” The Maknae pointed out bitterly. Tae and Jimin looked his way to find the guy getting a little too cozy with her.

“Unfortunately...” Jimin let out an annoyed sigh. “Now what does he want?”

Jennie stood with Shin as they caught up on how they were doing in their lives.

“I’d like to take you out on a date.” Shin’s sudden statement almost made her choke on her spit as she stared at him in disbelief.

“Date? Me? Uh, I dunno.” She nervously laughed it off.

“I’m serious. I really want to get to know you better. You’re really cute.”

“Ah, um, well, I think it’s best if we remain friends.”

“For now?” he smiled, hopeful.

“Jennie. We gotta go.” Jungkook suddenly popped up and grabbed her by the hand, staring right at Shin, unable to hide his irritation. Shin glanced at their hands and back at Jungkook as his smile went away.

Regrouping with BTS, Jen and Jungkook stood by each other. All that was on his mind was Shin and he couldn’t stop the urge from asking Jennie, “Are you...interested in him?”

“I mean, he’s cute. But I only think of him as a friend.” She shrugged. “You think I should give him a chance?”

Jungkook looked down at his feet, pausing before answering. “If the guy you’re with makes you happy, then I’m happy.”

Chuckling to herself, she shook her head. “You don’t want me to date him, do you.” She declared.

“I-I just...I...”

“Hey.” She placed a hand on his shoulder as he met her eyes. “I trust your judgment. If you think there’s someone better out there for me, well I’ll go with your judgment and wait for the guy. I’ll turn Shin down gently.” She turned to watch Ailee performing on the screen as he stared at her.

She watched Ailee perform with admiration and love in her eyes. “Oh mah God, this woman is a goddess. I would love to perform with her one day.”

Her statement made Jungkook smile.

“You are such a fangirl.” He teased.

“Do you hear how beautiful she sings? How amazing she is?! Do you know what an honor it would be, to be on the same stage as her? Singing with her? Think of IU. You’ll understand.” She said as he nodded.

“Why don’t you introduce yourself?”

“Oh no, I’m nowhere near ready for that big step. I’m not worthy.”

“Oh stop.” He laughed

“That’s like me meeting Beyoncé. I’m not prepared to be slayed. One day. For now, I want to try to cover one of her songs. But my vocals need extreme improvement to be able to be on her level. I bet it’ll take me a few years.”

“Hey, don’t be discouraged. Whatever song you choose to sing of hers, just make the song your own. Don’t try to sound just like her.”

“Yeah, you’re right Kook.”

-----

2015 started pleasantly as Jen stood backstage at KBS Music Bank, walking around to find GFriend’s dressing room. It was January 16th, the day of their debut.

When she finally got to the room, she opened it, while saying, “Hey, hey!”

“Jennie! You’re here!” Hayoon rushed over to her.

“You bet I am!”

“Jennie! Glad, you could make it!” Eunha happily greeted and she went to hug her with SinB.

Jen was well acquainted with the two of them because they were former Big Hit trainees. She was elated to finally see them debuting.

“How are the guys?” SinB asked.

“They always wonder how you two are doing. They’ll be thrilled to see you.”

The other members stared at Jennie, smiling politely. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m Jennie from BTS. I wanted to support Hayoon, Eunha and SinB in GFriend’s debut. They're friends of mine. It’s nice to meet you. I came here with some goodies. You can eat them after the show.” She handed them small goodie bags.

“Aw, you didn’t have to do this.”

“I was bored so I decided to go shopping and make small goodie bags. No big deal.” She shrugged with a smile.

GFriend was already dressed up and ready to go. They were nervous, but with Jen there for encouraging words, it made them happier.

As Jen was backstage, she watched GFriend’s interview as they were in the waiting room. Hayoon stood in the back, looking adorable as ever with her hair in a high ponytail.

Jennie had high hopes for GFriend and hoped the members’ careers in the group would be nothing but successful. When they finally performed Glass Bead, she was blown away at how in unison they were with the dance moves.

“Oh, I sure as hell am not gonna be able to dance like that. Hayoon, what the hell?” She chuckled to herself.

“Yas, girl, get your lines!” She soon said as Hayoon began to sing.

After they headed backstage, Jen met up with them, gleefully celebrating with them on their successful debut.

“Now that is what I’m talking about! Amazing job. You ladies did well.” she cheered.

“Thank you so much for being here. You have no idea how much this means to me, to have your support.” Hayoon hugged her tightly.

“Of course, Yoon. How do you feel?”

She pulled away. “The butterflies are gone. I’m so happy. I feel good.”

“I was nervous during my debut as a member of BTS. You’ll get used to performing. Now, about this dance though...okay, Hayoon, there is no way I can dance that dance.”

“Hahah, Yes you can. I’ll teach you soon.”

“Eh heh heh, no, I’m gonna look like an awkward person. Like how the heck did you do those kicks? And act all cute like that? Ya’ll did that. That was a great debut.”

------

Next Wednesday, at SOPA, Jen sat in her seat, waiting to see what her score was on the English test she took last week. As the teacher handed the papers out to the students in her row, she looked up, surprised at the frown on the teacher’s features.

“I’m surprised at your test score, Ms.Walker. You’re usually our A student in this class. Is everything all right?”

Confused, Jennie took the paper but automatically groaned in disappointment at the failing grade she received.

“I’m fine, I guess I didn’t study enough. I’ll do well next time. It’s not the end of the world. It’s just one bad grade.”

The teacher nodded at her response and continued to give out the rest of the tests. Jen looked back at her score.

A 33%? What went wrong? She studied.

For lunch, sitting with her group of friends, Jen sat across from Hayoon while the rest of the students, including Eunha and SinB, were engaged in their individual conversations, studying for a test during the next period and getting their homework out the way.

Hayoon watched Jennie with concern as she played on her phone. “You are not okay. You’re getting faint dark circles. Are you all right?”

Looking up, Jen shrugged, bluntly replying, “Nothing but a little bit of insomnia.”

Hayoon frowned at her response. “Why aren’t you sleeping? And aren’t you going to eat?”

“Eh, I’m not that hungry.” She replied nonchalantly.

“Jennie, you haven’t eaten all day. You should eat something. Don’t do this to your body like that. Especially as an idol with constant scheduling.”

“Yoon, I’m fine.”

“How many hours of sleep did you get?”

“I guess two hours? I don’t remember.”

Hayoon gaped at her in disbelief. “You’re overworking yourself for your next comeback?” She declared. It sounded more like a statement than a question.

“I don’t call it overworking. I call it pushing myself.”

“And where exactly did you get this pushing from?”

“I...people’s expectations.” She admitted with a sigh.

“Jennie, you’re good at what you do, don’t overwork yourself because of some ‘fans’ expectations.”

“It’s not just that, the hate is getting a little worse, unfortunately.”

“Didn’t Rapmon tell you to ignore it?”

“Easier said than done.” She snapped, taking Hayoon by surprise before she understood what was going on.

“Insomnia? Irritation? Lack of appetite? You’re stressed and you’re exhausted but you don’t want to admit it. Your body can’t run 24/7, Jen.”

“I’m not stressed... I just have a lot on my mind...”

“The hate is on your mind.” She declared.

“I just...I’m really getting targeted these days, ever since that Instagram dispute.”

“I hope you know that none of what they say is true.” She handed Jennie the rest of her lunch. “I had a big breakfast, so I’m not that hungry. Please eat.”

“Hayoon, I’m not-“

“EAT.” She demanded in a stern tone.

Letting out a sigh, Jen took her chopsticks and popped a dumpling in her mouth.

“Happy?” She asked with her mouth full.

“Manners.” She reminded her. “I’m glad to see you finally eating. Let’s talk about something more positive. How was the Wake Up Tour?”

Recently BTS has a small Japan tour. Although she had no idea how to speak in Japanese, there was a translator for her and she spoke in English apologizing for the language barrier. She promised the fans that she would try her best to learn more Japanese so she could be prepared the next time BTS went to Japan. The Japanese fans were respectful and supportive of them, and she had a blast.

-----

As soon as the opening beats came on for Wake Up, Jen swayed side to side to the beat, in her groove. Looking at the crowd, who waved their light sticks side to side, she smiled. Their Japanese tracks were fun to perform.

“Aye!” Rapmon shouted.

“Wake up!” She sang with Jungkook as they all waved their hands side to side with the audience.

“Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.”

“Let’s go!” She heard Rapmon say as he began his rap. She danced along to the groovy beat, having the time of her life with the rest of the members as she stood in between V and Jimin

Bankan ga tsutsumu asa o

Subete owareba yoi to sura omoi

Mata michi hazushisou ni natta sono toki

Kikoeru oya no koe “okinasai, mou!”

Singing under his rap, Jen harmonized, “AIGHT MOM saa, ima tatsuze MA FAM, MA FRIENDS sore ni MA FANS.”

As Rapmon continued his rap, Jen looked around. All those fans that came to see them perform. She’ll never get used to it. Their energy was infectious.

Karawanai asa JUSS KEEP ON & ON & ON &

Juss keep ON & ON & ON &

Juss keep ON & ON & ON & ON & ON & ON & ON, let’s go!

“Wake up.” She sang, waving her hand side to side with the rest of the members.

Me o samashite, hora

“WAKE UP”

Minna ga matteru no sa

“WAKE UP.”

Jikan wa naikara.

“WAKE UP.”

Hitasura hashiru no sa

GOTTA LIVE MY LIFE

GOTTA TAKE MY PRIDE

GOTTA SHINE MY LIGHT

“WAKE UP! WAKE UP!” She sang with the rest of the members.

GOTTA LIVE MY LIFE

WOAH OH

GOTTA TAKE MY PRIDE

WOAH OH

GOTTA SHINE MY LIGHT

WOAH OH

“WAKE UP! WAKE UP!”

As Suga rapped, Jen continued to nod her head to the beat of the song. She was sweating just like the rest of them from the previous performances. Some of her hair stuck to her face, but the smile never left.

WAKE UP

Me o samashite, hora

WAKE UP

Minna ga matteru no sa

WAKE UP

Jikan wa naikara

WAKE UP

Hitasura hashiru no sa

She waved her hand side to side again with the members, singing in a low, smooth voice, “Gotta live my life.”

“Life~” She heard Rapmon in the background

“Gotta take my pride.”

“Pride~”

“Gotta shine my light.”

“Light~”

WAKE UP

“Gotta live my life.”

WOAH OH

“Gotta take my pride.”

WOAH OH

“Gotta shine my light.”

WOAH OH

WAKE UP

WAKE UP hi, nobotte

Odoroku ryou kyou no yotei

Shinshin tomoni mou kakousen

BUT, itsu no ma ni ka ishou matotte

GO MAKE UP, NO BREAK UP

Getting into J-Hope’s rap, Jen continued to dance around. As the chorus came on again, Jen sang with Jungkook for the rest of the song as their voices clashed for a harmonizing sound, “WAKE UP.”

Me o samashite, hora

“WAKE UP”

Minna ga matteru no sa

“WAKE UP”

Jikan wa naikara

“WAKE UP”

Hitasura hashiru no sa

“Gotta live my life. Gotta take my pride. Gotta shine my light.”

WAKE UP

“Gotta live my life.”

WOAH OH

“Gotta take my pride.”

WOAH OH

“Gotta shine my light.”

WOAH OH

WAKE UP

As the song began to end, Jen and Jungkook spent the last of the song harmonizing again together, “ Ooooooohhhhhhhhh.”

Juss keep on and on and on and

“Ooooohhhhhhhhhhhh~”

Juss keep on and on and on

“Oooohhhhh~”

Juss keep on and on and on

“Oooohhhhhh~”

Juss keep on and on and on and

-------

Smiling at the memories, she put another dumpling in her mouth. “The concert was everything.” She answered.

After school, Jen found herself in an unoccupied practice room, alone at the Big Hit building. She was panting, sweaty, and exhausted from overworking herself once again with the I Need U choreography. Her whole body ached, begging for her to stop and rest. Punching the dance floor with the side of her fist, she let out a sigh of frustration.

“Why am I not getting this right?” She sat up pretzel style, running her hands through her hair that was tied in a bun.

She was frustrated at herself because she couldn’t get the emotion of the dance, while the rest of the guys seemed just fine. Hobi helped her and she even stayed with Mr.Son for more help but she felt like she was a lost cause. Maybe she should sit out of this comeback while the boys take over.

She had a lot on her mind for the past few weeks. Maybe she wasn’t getting it because her mind wasn’t on the dance, it was on other things.

‘She’s so slutty for dancing like that. Like really? That’s not cute, she can’t even dance. Why is she in the group? So tacky. She’s nothing without Amity’

She shook the negative thought out of her head. That fan comment made her want to change her War of Hormone lyrics to say her and she instead of I and my. And why she didn’t want to dance with Jungkook anymore. She’ll never get over the disappointment on his face. She felt so bad.

She couldn’t help but notice the sadness in his voice when he murmured, “You don’t want to dance with me, anymore?”

Mr. Son was genuinely surprised that she didn’t want to go through with the dance with Jungkook as well. He enjoyed watching them dance together because their chemistry was something he hadn’t seen from anyone in a long time and they both had a blast together. Ever since the Instagram fight, it looked like the Hailey and other bitter Amity fans were coming after her, calling both Angelina and her angry black women who are jealous that they aren’t a part of the group anymore and of Amity’s success without them. They even went on a full rant on how unprofessional they acted and what example they were showing for younger girls.

To see people say she’s nothing without her old group pushed her to work harder because she felt like she wasn’t at the level she should be. That she was more than just the cute baby of Amity. She had a lot of talent up her sleeves, and Big Hit was the company for her to showcase them in the future when she was good and ready.

‘All those pretty female K-Pop stars and then there’s Jennie...’

‘I swear this girl tries too hard. She’s really forgettable in the group’

‘Every time I hear her sing, I lose brain cells. And she wants to rap? Please just no. Stop while you can.‘

‘Where does she get her confidence from if she’s the ugliest member of BTS?’

‘Oh wow, so Jennie can apparently, DJ now? So boring. Next thing you know, she can fly.’

‘Can she be kicked out of BTS? No gorillas allowed ugh’

‘Why does her hair look so nappy? Does she have a comb? Like ew, unattractive’

‘She’s so annoying. Her laugh is annoying. Her smile isn’t cute at all. Why are we supporting this troll?’

‘She’s the least pretty of the group. Maybe she should get plastic surgery and fix her face’

‘I guess they’re just putting anybody in K-Pop groups these days...’

‘She’s a wannabe K-pop idol. Why is she even here?’

‘When are BTS going to disband? They’re a flop. Having that stupid girl in the group isn’t going to help them either. Did they make her a member for publicity since she’s black?’

“Why am I even here...?” She murmured as she looked at herself in the mirrors in front of her.

It was overwhelming. She never dealt with any of this stuff before until recently and it was starting to become hard to handle. It was getting hard to ignore because everywhere she went, she would see it on social media.

There will always be haters. But why did these anti-fans have to be so harsh and waste their time writing hateful things? Didn’t they have anything better to do?

Jen knew she wasn’t the only member dealing with hate. It broke her heart to hear that people called Hobi and Namjoon ugly. And even wanted Hobi to be kicked out of the group.

“And I guess I’m the next victim...”

It was harder than she thought to be an idol. But something told her to keep going.

She snapped a photo of herself, in the mirror and tweeted, 'I feel like I should push myself harder...I’m lacking. Please bear with me. #JEN’

Not even five minutes later, she looked back at the Twitter account to see that the members had replied, along with the spam of ARMY giving her encouraging tweets and I love yous.

‘Fighting Jennie! #JIN’

‘I have smarties waiting for you back at the dorm. I’m always proud of you. #SUGA’

‘Have strength, Ennie! ChimChim loves you! You’re important and valued. #Jimin’

‘I love her more! I met her first! Go Jennie! I’ll always support you my Nike loving friend! #V’

‘Don’t be discouraged, just keep swimming. #JK’

‘Munchkin! Don’t give up! Keep going. #JHOPE’

‘Even during our darkest moments, we must find the light. Stay strong, JW. #RM’

Jen smiled at their sudden responses and exhaled.

“I’ll be okay...I hope..."

Back at the dorm, Jen was greeted by the members who were watching TV in the living room.

“Munchkin! You want your smarties?” Hobi beamed.

“Ah, no thanks.” She smiled apologetically as the members sat there dumbfounded at her response.

“Something is up. She never dismisses smarties.” Yoongi murmured as she headed into her room.

After taking a shower, Jen laid on her bed and heard a hard combination of knocks on her door.

“Come in!”

There stood Jimin with a bright grin on his face as he shut the door and took a seat on her bed.

“Now you know we’re gonna have a conversation after you rejected smarties. You’re stressed.”

“No, I’m not.” She let out a sigh.

He suddenly placed a hand on her cheek, examining her face. “Developing dark circles.” He observed. “Are you sleeping?”

“Kind of. I nap.” She shrugged.

“You’re not sleeping.” He declared. “What’s going on, Ennie?”

“Okay, I’m a little stressed.” She admitted.

“When’s the last time you ate a full meal?”

“I don’t recall-“

“That’s not good.”

“I’m okay. I’m not hungry. I can’t force myself to eat.”

“Come on, Ennie. Please, you gotta eat. I don’t like seeing you like this. It makes me sad. I want you to be happy.” He pouted

Suddenly, she felt her eyes start to sting as she attempted to wipe the developing tears. “I just...”

“Please tell me. Vent to me. I don’t want you to be sad.”

“Everything is starting to get overwhelming. I have too much stuff on my mind. I want to make sure I’m at my best for this comeback, but all this hate coming at me left and right recently is starting to distract me. I don’t understand why I’m getting all this heat from these antis. People said they want me beaten, hanged, even worse. Why? What have I done? Cause I know damn well if I was lighter, they wouldn’t say half the things. And maybe if I didn’t leave Amity on bad terms, some of the fans wouldn’t be so resentful towards me. I understand racism is gonna be everywhere, unfortunately. But my gosh, hanged? Next thing you know I’m gonna get even more death threats. What have I done? What have I done wrong to deserve that?”

“We are definitely gonna talk to Bang PD about this. Threats are not okay. None of this is okay.” He responded in a serious tone as he held her hand, giving it a tight squeeze.

“I just wish I was mentally stronger. I don’t like to surround myself with negativity like that. That’s why I took a break from social media. I haven’t updated since my Instagram of getting followed by EXO.” She went on. “It’s like every time I go online, it’s oh how much I hate you, people creating photos of me getting hanged, like that is truly disgusting. It is 2015, why are we still at this level of hatred? I just have so much to prove, I’m working as hard as I can but it’s always underappreciated. It makes me think that I’m lacking.”

“Do you feel like you’re lacking? Or do you feel like you’re lacking because of some haters saying you’re lacking?” He suddenly asked, which got her to ponder.

"Was this all worth it?”

“Jennie, don’t say things like that. Everything you went through, got you here. To be a member of BTS. You wanted to do this. Don’t give up now just because of a handful of bad seeds trying to discourage you. You didn’t join BTS as a publicity stunt. You’re just as important as the rest of us. Just like when Hobi went through with the hate, you will get through this just like he did. Me, the members, Big Hit and ARMY will be there to protect you from anything. Trust in ARMY and believe in their love for you.”

She nodded and took his words in. Jimin was always such a sweetheart. His selflessness was always appreciated.

“Thank you, Chim.”

“Always. Now, enjoy these smarties with me.” He let her go and took them out of his pocket, handing her a few rolls.

“It’s been a while.” She grinned and popped three pieces in her mouth.

“There’s that smile. Now come on, you have to eat something.” He grabbed her hand and took her out of her room.

-------

Next Monday, waking up earlier than the others, Jen headed to practice early for a head start on cleaning up the I Need U choreography. Her insomnia seemed to get worse because she hardly slept last night as she kept thinking about what she needed to work on for the next comeback.

She just wanted to be on the go 24/7, but failed the realize how much of a toll it was taking on her body.

Today she would learn her lesson.

Two hours later, the rest of the members came in as they began their long practice for their upcoming comeback. Throughout the whole morning, Jennie began to have a headache. It was irritating but she chose to endure it and dance through it.

“Jennie, you’re getting sloppy with your movement. You all right?” Mr. Son called her out, looking concerned.

“Sorry. I’m good.” She reassured, trying to shake off the sudden dizziness.

As they all get back in position, they begin the dance once again, starting from the chorus.

I need you girl

Wae honja saranghago honjaseoman ibyeolhae

I need you girl

Wae dachil geol almyeonseo jakku niga piryohae

Neon areumdawo

I need you girl Neomu chagawo

Holding her head, the dizziness and pain began to be too much for Jen’s body to handle, and started to shut down.

'Oh no...not again...' she thought as she ended up collapsing on the dance floor and began to feel herself losing consciousness.

Meanwhile, the boys heard a loud thump over the music and turned around to see Jen knocked out on the floor as they scrambled around to her in panic.

“Jennie!”

“Is she okay!?”

“Let her breathe!”

“What happened!?”

“Give her space!”

“Call 119!”

“Shit! Jennie! Hey! Stay with me!” She faintly heard Namjoon shout as everything faded to black.

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