#gettingtoooldforthisshit

[yuuuuuuur]

8.31.2018 #Dayone #Ezoo #Edm #Edmfestival #Jauz #Marshmello #MelloGang #PLUR #Gettingtoooldforthisshit (at Electric Zoo Festival) https://www.instagram.com/p/BnRMeQbBSe6/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=qnh6om4oc89i

[evinaustinhairdressing]

Hair Expo or Priscilla The Musical... We’re unplugging our curling wands and going bush!#priscillaqueenofthedesert, #hairexpo, #gettingtoooldforthisshit, #perfectevening, #birthdaypresent, #firstiwasafraid, #iwaspetrified, #bernice, #evinaustinhairdressing (at Priscilla Queen of the Desert - The Musical)

[bearrepublicnetwork]

Roger Murtaugh says, and I concur, “I’m too old for this shit!” #gettingtoooldforthisshit #riggs #roger #riggsdonttellthattomeriggs #gospit (at Laughlin, Nevada) https://www.instagram.com/p/Butxsn5lFNw/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=xbg1jbv682zz

[chickensarentcheap]

Tyler stuff :) NSFW mention

@innerpaperexpertcloud​, @tragiclyhip​, @secretaryunpaid​

The wife knows exactly what she wants and how much of it. Which is why I’m all the way over here instead of helping her.  I’m just here to carry heavy shit, keep her company, and get things off the high shelves. Old bloke in the pic has just walked up to her and started mansplaining. Don’t do it, mate. Don’t do it.  At least not if you like your balls attached to your body.

After thirteen years, we don’t put much effort into our flirting game anymore. I mean, we already landed each other.  Neither of us are going anywhere. 

But I appreciate the effort to get into my pants, babe ;)

I came home with cupcakes, but they were all sold out of her favourite kind and when your wife is eight months pregnant and hormonal AF,  no excuse or explanation is acceptable.   Right now she’s in shock.  Give it a few seconds and she’ll burst into tears. 

I’m no rookie.

#sendhelp

Now this is some quality entertainment right here

That is NOT water in that glass

#longdaywiththekidsbabe?

A little Zoom time for me and the missus.  Not expected to be gone long, but it still sucks being away from her and the hooligans.  God she’s cute.

#homesick  #gettingtoooldforthisshit

A fancy night out with a client and his spouse.  He’s getting a little too close to mine for my liking. 

#dontmakemebeatyourass #whatabeauty

She’s playing the parts of mummy bunny and baby bunny number one.  I have to be everyone else. And I’m expected to do different voices for each. Anything less is unacceptable.

*cracks knuckles* Let’s do this.

It’s going to take her ten minutes just to slide off that stool.

#readytopop

Way back when:  Just under a year into my recovery from that douche bag Nathan.  I was finally given the green light to completely weight bare on my right leg and told to try and walk without crutches or the cane.   Little miss and I would take strolls together.  All the way down to the end of the road to check the mail and back again.  Took forever.  But she didn’t give a shit how slow moving I was. She just sat in her stroller, looking cute and babbling and giggling away.

Some time on the waves with The Ginger

“Dad! You gotta come and see Mac!”

*heads outside, thinking the hairy old bloke got into some messy shit or got bitten by something or is eating goat shit again or has gone toe to toe with a kangaroo*

So that’s where my new Ray -Bans went. 

#heisstylin’tho

One of the days I’ve feared has finally come.  Where teenage boys, young men, and even OLDER men are coming onto my baby girl.  When I’m in close enough vicinity to hear and see them.

I’m going to be busting a lot of heads.

She’s TWELVE. 

GROWN  MEN are flirting with her and trying to pick her up.

#Iwillkillyou

My wife: “If you’re going to take a picture of me in a bathing suit, take it while I’m lying down. Things spread out and I look flatter and skinnier that way.”

Just for that, I’m taking a picture of her butt ass naked later.

Added bonus: cute kid in cool shades

She’s just standing there. Watching me. With that expression on her face.

I don’t know what I did, but I feel like I should just start apologizing and hope for the best.

#hotwife #whopissedinhercornflakes?

Esme: “TJ, why is the snowman’s arm so low?”

TJ: “That’s not his arm, mumma. That’s his dick.”

Long awkward silence. The wife staring at me.

TJ:  “And I didn’t put it there. Dad did.”

#threwmerightunderthebus #outofthewill

Me:  What’s up your ass this morning?

Her:  You cheated on me last night.

Me: What the hell are you talking about? I was home all night.  With you.

Her:  In my dream.  You banged another woman.  I kicked you in the balls and made you cry.  But I’m still mad at you.

Me: (unfazed, drying off from a shower, cheekily waving my cock at her). Would something else up your ass cheer you up?

[therealdustyc]

Good news coming soon, which is good cause my ass sure needs some good news. #gettingtoooldforthisshit (at Machias, Washington)

[nightbreak99-blog]

Hopefully the fuel issues will get sorted out soon so she can hit the streets already. #b18c1 #civic #ej1coupe #gramlights57dr #gettingtoooldforthisshit (at Walnut, California)

[jaceblackheart]

#gettingtoooldforthisshit #sgtmurtaugh #LethalWeapon #movies #dannyglover

[kalki-maitreya]

"220lbs/100kg 9/8/8/7/7 5sets." #seemslikeitwasyesterday #gettingtoooldforthisshit

[elijorgensen]

I've drawn way too much today. My back hurts and I have no motivation to fold laundry. #elijorgensen #gettingtoooldforthisshit

[markvogler]

"Oh Christ...What the hell happened last night!?" #gettingtoooldforthisshit #TheOtherSide with @oceanwideexp (at Antarctica)

[yuuuuuuur]

9.02.2018 #Finalday #Ezoo #Ezoo2018 #Edm #Edmfestival #Medasin #DopeAF #Feelgood #Illenium #Ekali #Chickensoup #Sick #Gryffin #Fuckingkilledit #Headinghome #Tiesto #Gettingtoooldforthisshit (at Electric Zoo Festival) https://www.instagram.com/p/BnRlQEzBot9/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=13glqlpn9435a

[u-neekdesu]

#gettingtoooldforthisshit (at San Jose, California)

[eatingfish]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Dan Fish (@djfish82)

#saturdaynight in #saopaulo makes #lkf look like high tea with grandma. #partyanimals #gettingtoooldforthisshit

[cafetmode]

Thanks @kadarakey for the tag 😁💜

rules – bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people

AIR I have small hands • I love the night sky • I watch small animals and birds when I pass them by • I drink herbal tea • I wake to see dawn • The smell of dust is comforting • I’m valued for being wise • I prefer books to music • I meditate • I find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE I don’t have straight hair • I like to wear ripped jeans and overalls • I play an organized sport • I love dogs • I am not afraid of adventure • I love to talk to strangers • I always try new foods • I enjoy road trips • Summer is my favorite season • My radio is always playing

WATER I wear bracelets on my wrists • I love the bustle of the city • I have more than one set of piercings • I read poetry • I love the sound of a thunderstorm • I want to travel the world • I sleep past midday most days • I love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs • I rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia • I see emotions in colors not words

EARTH I wear glasses/contacts • I enjoy doing the laundry • I am a vegetarian or vegan • I have an excellent sense of time • My humor is very cheerful • I am a valued advisor to my friends • I believe in true love • I love the chill of mountain air • I’m always listening to music • I am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER I go without makeup in my daily life • I make my own artwork • I keep on track of my tasks and time • I always know true north • I see beauty in everything • I can always smell flowers • I smile at everyone I pass by • I always fear history repeating itself • I have recovered from a mental disorder • I can love unconditionally

Tagging @petite-pivoines @etherealfaeri @agnosticaquarius @nusrata @lesliebarahona @thestoryofagenius @gettingtoooldforthisshit @notthegirl-nextdoor @leia1998

[bifurthedwarf]

Bifur is #gettingtoooldforthisshit

On the run from Orcs. An Unexpected Journey

[no1-you-know]

When you see your doctor calling and panic answer your phone.....JUST so they could say happy birthday. *smh

#gettingtoooldforthisshit #andbyshitimeanlife