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burlybanner · 6 years ago

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Syzygy - An AU of Infundo (post-Infundo Chronicles).

Chapter 8: Me and My Shadow

Summary: What does real fear taste like? Link to Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Author Note - Trigger warning: DiD-type cycling and past child abuse/trauma. Please feel free to contact me if anything does not sound right? I want to be sensitive. It’s very much a unique situation because well...we’re talking about Bruce Banner, let’s be honest. But I’d like to get this as “right” as possible (or at least not jarringly wrong).

"My God..." Bruce ran a shaky hand across the recording. The recorded 'him' paused, apparently giving Bruce time to absorb and understand.

"You recorded yourself?"

He jumped at the sound near his ear. Steve had effectively swaddled him, but he wasn't feeling his body heat for whatever reason. And he really, really wanted to. "No, I...I don't remember ever--Steve, it..it's not me. I mean, I don't remember this." He gulped. He couldn't take his eyes off his doppelganger, but his twin didn't seem phased. He rocked in his chair, examined his nails, played with the keyboard. All things Bruce might have done, except--

"Jarvis, what's the timestamp on this recording?"

"04:32 AM, early this morning."

"After Tony put me to bed?"

"Yes. And not more than seven minutes after he left for his flight to Korea."

Steve had been strangely quiet and kept checking between Bruce and Bruce's twin. Bruce could've said more to reassure him but even he wasn't sure what he even could say at this point.

He frowned and ran a shaky hand beneath his chin. "I must've been sleepwalking."

"You weren't sleepwalking, Banner," the not-Bruce said, and a colder chill traveled down Bruce's back.

"What's going on, Bruce?" He felt Steve's hand clutch his shoulder and Bruce unconsciously leaned into it. "If this isn't you, who is it?"

"I-I don't have a clue..."

The not-Bruce cleared his throat. "The fright of viewing 'yourself' at this point should be wearing off. You must be insanely curious." He smiled faintly. "It's a shocking revelation, yes, but it shouldn't be a huge surprise. You've known, Bruce. You've refused to acknowledge me as truth, but you've known."

"Oh, Christ," Bruce whispered. He began shaking and Steve's presence tightened around him. Steve, fortunately, chose to listen and not speak, but Bruce had no idea what to say either. His mind began melting and swirling at the possibility, the implication--

"Shh, shhhh, don't drown in the madness, Banner," the not-Bruce murmured. "It's not difficult. Remember our favorite quote from our childhood: 'when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.' "

"Pause, Jarvis!" Bruce suddenly shot up from his chair, knocking Steve back.

"Whoa--"

"Sorry, I'm...I'm sorry. Steve, give me a..."

Bruce helped Steve to his feet, but he shook hard enough to feel like he was flying apart, and Steve immediately wrapped him in his arms. "Bruce, babe, it's okay. I'm not hurt. Don't worry about it--"

"No..no. It's not fine. It's..." Bruce began wringing his hands, and he wasn't listening. His ears weren't producing...sound. He couldn't feel. Or see. He slammed his eyes shut and pulled from Steve, stumbling about while prodding That Place in his mind. Cautiously he prodded that Space, mentally feeling for for the Gate to Hulk's presence, but where? Was it...wait. No, not a Gate at all. Had it ever been a Gate? It was--

Hello, Banner.

Bruce's eyes flew open and his legs crumbled.

"Bruce--!"

Steve was right behind him, rubbing his back, telling him to take deep breaths but he couldn't hear him, he felt him. It took time, but really, what was time? An idea, a construct. Beats of measurement on a musical scale...he stuffed down a nervous giggle threatening to bubble from his chest.

He'd have to explain it when he didn't fully understand.

Stop lying, you know full well who I am. Good god, Banner, you're almost as dramatic as Tony.

He shook again but what...was true? What was happening now--? No...no. He had knowledge, and knowledge was truth and power.

Are you sure?

"S-stop speaking," he said out loud, and he felt Steve's hand still across his back. "No, I meant...dammit."

He breathed deep, meditative breaths that he'd normally do during his asanas. Feeling returned to his body. His fleeting senses returned. Sight. Taste. Smell. Sound. "Steve," he began, when it felt safe enough. "You need...to know something. I hate explaining it and I don't like it...but. It makes sense now. Of course it makes sense."

"To you, maybe."

Bruce did laugh, too nervously, but he cautiously took Steve's hand. "Hold me, okay?" He whispered. "Hold me tight and be patient. This is going to be a lot to take in, and it's a lot for me to discuss." The light bulb went on and he shuddered against Steve's chest. "Ahh. I get it. That's why Tony...yes. Now I get why he left."

"But I don't!"

Bruce chuckled nervously and drew Steve's arms around his shoulder. "It's story time, Steve."

At age three, the abuse began because Brian Banner was a Tier One asshole and stole Bruce's life. Well, that's not fair. The circumstance created a second life, and Bruce added it. Three lives now, if he believed the current scenario. He'd never really openly spoke about the other parts but now was the time. He'd have no second chances.

"It wasn't...it wasn't entirely physical abuse," Bruce whispered. Steve's lashes were moist and Bruce could feel his boyfriend's heart beating. It was solid, steady, and strong. Beating like a kettle drum. "I don't talk about it, because..." Bruce sighed. His hands felt cold, but he could do this. He had to. "I didn't tell Mom. I wish I had. We might've left earlier if she--"

"I'm here, I'm not going away," Steve reiterated. He could feel Steve's lips scrape through his curls, feel his warm cheek transferring its warmth. "I love you, regardless. That won't ever stop. No matter what."

"Brian..." and Bruce shuddered at the memory. "Brian was fond of using 'tools' to see how I reacted. To test my 'humanity.' I was. Fuck, Steve. I wasn't even five and some days I couldn't sit because of what he...did. It was easier to disappear into myself. Someone Else could take what I couldn't."

Steve's hand stopped its administrations and Bruce closed his eyes. He knew it was all part of his abusive past but he couldn't help feeling Steve was disappointed in him. His head knew it wasn't true, but his heart...

"I'm sorry," Steve murmured. Bruce realized his scalp felt wet. At first he wasn't sure, but the small hitch and shuddered breath from Steve proved it. "I'm so, so sorry, Bruce."

Bruce squeezed Steve's arm. "It's okay," he said, but it still wasn't. After all these years it wasn't. Would never be okay.

It was why he would never be whole. Or complete. Just separately hurting pieces trying their hardest to exist.

Now you just sound pathetic, Banner. I can Front, if you're unwilling.

Quiet. You're not the Core. I am.

His response surprised them both, and the...Professor (yes, that Name felt right; he could "hear" Professor's confirmation of his name despite his lack of sibilants) slinking back to the quieter sections of his head.

We are...us. I get it. But from now on, no more hiding from me. We have to team up.

He felt something new churn in his mind, earthy and feather light. Like a gentle breeze with hints of petrichor. He could name it now. And naming was Power.

So be it, Professor acknowledged.

We have a lot of work to do and damages to reverse. So follow my lead.

Bruce tapped Steve's arm. "C'mon," he whispered. "I'll be okay. It's something that happened to me. It's horrible. It makes me sick to my stomach. And," he sighed, "it split my psyche. I think in threes, I guess." He tapped his head. "Three people have my address, if that makes sense."

Steve kissed his head. "Not really...but I love you. More than ever, maybe. You're the strongest man I know, Bruce Banner. Not because of the Hulk. Despite Hulk."

"Hmm," Bruce sighed. He settled into Steve's arms and explained the curiousness of DID and how it worked for him, and how he functioned in the System as the Core. But the other part of him - Professor, probably - had begun scheming behind the scenes.

"So this...DID?" Steve was still a bit snuffly but Bruce gently squeezed his arm. He loved seeing Steve's gentle side, even if it was at his own expense. "I'm not sure I follow. How does this explain Tony leaving?"

Bruce's smile curled the edges of his lips but the sadness was there. "I...may have scared him. Or rather my 'Person' did." He air-quoted so Steve could understand the context.

"You think so?"

Bruce licked his lips. "You saw how I reacted, right? Imagine if you were in Tony's shoes, seeing this guy for the first time. When I didn't even know he was there."

Steve got quiet, and Bruce lumbered to his feet. "Speaking of...we need to finish the video." He searched in his mind for Professor, but only felt an uncertain tickle there.

Care to share with the class, Professor?

Nothing.

Probably wants me to see his damage. Bruce was angry, but not surprised. He drew in his brows and held out his hand to Steve. "I’m not sure what to expect next, but I'd appreciate your support."

"You know you have it. You've always had it, Muffin." Steve grabbed his hand and Bruce yanked him to his feet. "You have any suspicions?"

Shaking his head, Bruce slowly approached the video screen. Professor was in stasis, staring at his hands as if he knew what would happen next. This was a chess master, Bruce realized, in for the long haul. Maybe Professor was as neutral as he said but he was damn good at pulling strings Bruce didn't know about. And that made this Person particularly dangerous.

"All right, Jarvis," Bruce sighed. He remained standing while Steve came behind him and cuddled him close. He almost felt smothered in Steve's strong arms but he needed it. He needed to feel warm. Feel real.

Like the Velveteen Rabbit.

"Go ahead. Start it up again. Let's see what he has to say for himself."

#polyamory #chubby bruce fic #infundoau #chubby bruce banner #steve rogers #tony stark #bruce banner #american pi #science bros #hulk #stark spangled banner #bhm #chubby kink #syzygy #starkspangledbanner syzygy #professor hulk

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lettheriverflow · 4 years ago

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An Interview with Tristan Spinski

Jaime Molina: Please introduce yourself.

Tristan Spinski: I grew up and have lived all over the place, both here in the US and a little time abroad in SE Asia, so wherever I've lived, I've always been from "somewhere else". For the last 8 years, I've lived along the Maine coast in the northeast corner of the United States.

I had an undisciplined, passive interest in photography growing up and through college. In my mid 20s I went off to graduate school at Berkeley to work on my writing with the goal of becoming a journalist. The program encouraged students to explore other forms of storytelling, and I opted to take a documentary photography course taught by Ken Light and Mimi Chakarova. That was in 2004, and was my entry point to photography and what was to be my career and a life fully immersed in photography and visual storytelling. You never end up where you expect to, at least not in my experience. Over the years I've migrated from news-driven priorities into conversations about land use and the intersections of culture, economy and the landscape. I recently wrapped up a project on gas drilling in Pennsylvania, where I partnered with a sociologist for his ethnography about a community that has a long history of tethering its economy and cultural identity to natural resource extraction. As that chapter closes, I'm embarking on two new series — one involving endangered birds, and another being a close examination of a landscape near my home.

JM: Why is it important for you to work with conservation publications/organizations?

TS: I believe in the work they do and feel a responsibility to contribute. Once I had a foundational understanding of photography and, through assignment work, had experienced a spectrum of issues and stories, I began to unpack my motivations and inspirations. I found/find it difficult to be honest with myself and to distill what I truly want to stand for with my life and work from the pressures, distractions and seductions of the media cacophony. And there are so many realities that influence my practice and path — privilege, family, where I was raised, what I read, my friends, I could go on forever.

JM: Is there a writer or book that influence your current practice? and why?

TS: I think every author I read influences my practice. It's a mixture of elation, that I'm absorbing a book or article and actively applying it to whatever I'm working on, and also a bit of insecurity, as I assume that I don't have a strong enough constitution of self to resist being swayed. What's that cliche about bending so you don't break?

A standout that I consider a creative "North Star" would include J.A. Baker's "The Peregrine". I've been thinking about how to describe this book to you and what it means to me for more than a day now, and everything I try to convey feels blunted and clumsy. The humility of Baker traversing the English countryside to observe and understand the falcon elevates to a synthesis of science, classical literature and meditation that makes my heart ache.

Gay Talese is also a foundational influence in my own practice. It was required reading during college, and I'm grateful for it. "Frank Sinatra Has a Cold" sets a standard for a fly-on-the-wall perspective, patience and character insight, as Talese was never granted an interview but rather was able to spend time in proximity to Sinatra as he went about his business and socialized. There's a great collection of Talese's writings, "Fame and Obscurity", that I would recommend.

Ryszard Kapuscinski has become enormously influential to me in the last few years �� ground level observations and personal experiences in the field working as a reporter that glide seamlessly into the stratosphere of geo-political forces. I was on assignment in Madagascar a few years ago and brought a copy of "Travels With Herodotus" with me. The writer I was working with borrowed it while I was laid flat in my tent with a boiling rash and a debilitating stomach bug. He finished it, acknowledged how it made him reconsider our own situation and project, and then I read it as I began to recover and I share my gratitude for Kapuscinski's mastery of craft. I think it might have saved the project! "Another Day of Life" is also a mind blowing, in the worst, most necessary way. I think that whatever Kapuscinski book I read most recently would be my favorite of his and would say is the most personally influential.

And to further my point about how everything influences me, I read "The Overstory" by Richard Powers last spring, as COVID shut the world down. That set me on a course with my work to think critically about trees and consciousness beyond what we (humans) are capable of seeing. And when I say it influenced me, I don't say that lightly. After I finished "The Overstory", I started researching mushroom suit burial options for when I die (someday, hopefully not soon), so that I somehow become part of a tree as my own biomass is recycled back into the earth. I feel a bit self conscious as I write this. But it's true. I told my wife my wish/intention with this, which was jarring and probably something I could have led into a bit more gracefully. I told her to read the book, and then she'd understand. On my current landscape project, I'm thinking about this book every time I'm on site.

And now I'm reading "Braiding Sweetgrass" by Robin Wall Kimmerer. I don't want the book to end. It's like eating a dish and getting upset that with every bite you're closer to finishing it. To your earlier question on why it's important to me to work with conservation organizations, I'll quote Kimmerer, out of context, here: "What else can you offer the earth, which has everything? What else can you give but something of yourself?"

JM: How have you been producing work during COVID times, and how do you think it will affect your practice in the future?

TS: COVID has been both enormously disruptive, as well as clarifying. Save two or three projects, almost all of my assignment work has been COVID-related in the past year. Only one has put me in an vulnerable situation, which was early in the pandemic and wasn't intentional. I live in a sparsely-populated, rural pocket of the United States and have stayed close to home. Most assignment work has me documenting the social and economic impacts of COVID on a regional scale. And all of this has been at the request of editors at various publications, so I have no personal attachment, other than I live here and feel a commitment to my family, my neighbors, my community and my state, so I do the best job I can under the circumstances. It's necessary to communicate what's happening and I participate because it's my job, as I consider something like this to be an "all hands on deck" responsibility and it's no time to demand to be hired for passion projects.

My personal work has stalled. Completely. I just sent a year's worth of film into the lab, none of which amounts to more than random entries to my imaginary journal. This pause has made me reset, forced me to read, think, talk out ideas, and generally reconsider what I'm doing and why. I just started an examination of a nearby landscape. I wish I had found a path forward with this project earlier in the pandemic, as it's accessible and nobody is around, but I couldn't (and still can't), which is frustrating and keeps me up at night. So now I'm attempting to work my way through it. We'll see.

JM: Could you tell us why did you decide to submit that photo to LTRF?

TS: While a lot of my work is rooted in landscape, a conversation I'm interested in having revolves around the fraying relationships and growing distance between people and most other living things. In that context, this image felt appropriate.

JM: What is your favourite bird?

TS: Ha! My favorite bird seems to change daily. I have friends who are ornithologists, and they will casually mention an insanely interesting fact about a bird that catapults that particular species to the top of my list. Or I'll read some jaw-dropping statistics and lose my mind. For instance, last autumn I got to work alongside Scott Weidensaul along the northern coast of Maine, close to where I live, as he studied migrating saw-whet owls. They are tiny and ferocious predators that fit in the palm of your hand. So I became a bit obsessed with them, and then got to reading Weidensaul's book, "Living on the Wind", about bird migrations. Early in the book he talks about Blackpoll Warblers, which use air currents to aid their transcontinental migrations from western Alaska, east across northern Canada to the Atlantic and then south to Venezuela — "an overwater trip of 2,000 miles — a passage with no rest, no refuelling, no water, during which each will have flapped its wings nearly 3 million times. 'If a Blackpoll Warbler were burning gasoline instead of its reserves of body fat, it could boast getting 720,000 miles to the gallon,' note two researchers." I had to look up images of the bird, and realize that I've seen these and never gave them a second thought. But think about how truly magnificent these little creatures are. And it's not just the spectacular that makes me love a bird. I was out walking my dogs last spring and I heard a bird chirping that sounded, to me, just like R2-D2, from Star Wars. Turned out to be a Bobolink, which also sounds like a Star Wars character. But they look like disheveled little Franciscan monks — dark bodies with a circular yellow patch of plumage on the back of their heads resembling the bald patches, which is devotional practice of tonsure. I then learned that where I walk my dogs is designated as a Bobolink breeding habitat, so it became a daily symphony of R2-D2s. And when they fly, they appear a bit slow and clumsy, almost like they've had a few beers before taking off. So maybe that's my favorite bird. I'm sure I'll read something or see something soon that turns my attention elsewhere.

JM: If you could give yourself any piece of advice right now what would it be?

TS: I'd reiterate the advice my late father, who I admire more than I can express here, gave me: Simplify.

Thank you Tristan!

___________

Tristan Spinski

Let The River Flow on Instagram

Issue 1. Available now.

#photography #LTRFINTERVIEWS #lettheriverflow #Interviews

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theflutterbyliterature-blog · 6 years ago

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Sowing: The Purification Era #1, by Angie Grigaliunas - A Review

Sowing, by Angie Grigaliunas, is a dystopian novel narrated by two sisters, Ariliah and Rabreah. Within this dystopian world, they hold drastically different opinions about what’s right and what’s wrong. While one believes that the authoritarian government is there to help and protect her, the other believes that the government is run by a bunch of crooks with the sole agenda of oppressing her freedom. Despite these opposing views, the two sisters love one another and it is that love that drives them toward most of their major decisions.

What I really liked about this story is that despite it being a dystopian novel, it focuses more on the human side of dystopia versus the societal. A lot of dystopian novels will harp on how society has crumbled into its current state of affairs and you get more of a bird’s-eye’s view of the situation. Grigaliunas, on the other hand, allows us to see through the eyes of her characters and since they are just common folk, they aren’t experts on what’s going on and I like that. It makes the story much more relatable. After all, who really knows what their government is up to? Do they work with our best intentions at heart or are they only out for themselves?

This kind of ambiguity is abundant throughout the story. It’s extremely difficult to differentiate between right and wrong, good and evil. While one character might seem like a total bad guy – one conversation – one single event – might change your mind. This writing technique works is Grigaliunas’ favor because it drives suspense for the reader, urging them to continue onto book two of the series. She has lured me into supporting certain characters and now I’m invested in their outcome. I’m certainly looking forward to her future works and if she continues with this level of sophisticated writing, I have no doubt that they will be a pleasure to read.

***

Sowing is a classic example of a YA fantasy novel. Both protagonists are young women who are just getting their feet wet with the real world. As the story progresses, they come to mature and grow alongside the events that challenge them. Personally, I adored Ariliah’s progression and I feel that by the end of the book, we glimpse her true potential. Rabreah, on the other hand, did not develop nearly as much as I would have liked her to. Don’t get me wrong, she is by no means a flat character. She certainly grows and learns to adjust her flaws to a degree but I just feel that more could have been done with her. However, I will concede that her lack of significant growth might be due to her stubborn nature. It’s hard to change someone with a thick skull.

In terms of world-building, I think it was solidly built. The world operated within its fantastical parameters and at no time did I feel like something didn’t make sense within the story’s context. Grigaliunas remained consistent throughout and certain scenes that described official ceremonies really demonstrated her grasp on the made-up world. There’s nothing better than a fictional setting that seems real. For this specific book, that realism might arise from its striking similarity to Nazi Germany. After speaking with Grigaliunas, she actually told me that the idea for her story originally garnered inspiration from the Ku Klux Klan and their acts of atrocity in Southern United States. Personally, I love when a fantasy novel comments on history. It just adds a unique flavor and perspective to events we are so used to learning about in a textbook fashion.

***

This book is Grigaliunas’ first published work. She has written a few other novels through to entirely but hasn’t chosen to share them with the world. This prior experience certainly shows in her work. Sowing is a well-polished novel that is supremely written. As I read, I always take note of any mistakes I might find and try as I might, I could not find any. In the e-book version I read, there were a few formatting hiccups but I suspect that’s a PDF/MOBI issue and not a mistake made on the author’s part.

It is my hope that Grigaliunas continues her success into the second book, Quelling. While I have yet to read it, people on Goodreads seem to like it as it has over a four-star rating (out of five). If she maintains her diverse cast of characters, retains the emotionality of the first book, and continues to craft a compelling plot, I have no doubt that it will be a hit.

***

I have already briefly touched upon the main protagonists, Ariliah and Rabreah. Here, I would like to discuss the minor characters. While some of them fully fleshed out, others are not. Specifically, I was a bit disappointed with Grigaliunas’ portrayal of the mother. For all intents and purposes, she is Ariliah’s antagonist. She is abusive, cruel, and downright heartless. This is fine but I wish I knew why. There’s so much I don’t know about her. Where’s her husband? Is Ariliah actually a half-breed or is that just an insult she flings around? And why is she so hell-bent on making her daughter’s life a living hell? Was it something Ariliah did? Or does Ariliah remind her of something she rather forget?

While I do not advocate for an author to spell out everything for the reader, I do appreciate it when I get inside the head of an antagonist. It humanizes them and at times, it makes the reader sympathize with the ‘wrong side’ which adds to the emotional rollercoaster we call reading. Now, I do realize that Grigaliunas was limited in terms of what she could do regarding minor characters since the story is told predominately from a first-person perspective. While an omniscient narrator can know everything that goes through everyone’s head, Ariliah and Rabreah cannot and I acknowledge that.

***

As I have said, this book is rather well-written. My only real qualm was with the beginning of it. The prologue, instead of grounding me within the story, only made me feel disoriented. Suddenly, I was plopped in the midst of a rebellion attempt and I didn’t quite know what to do. Then, once I reached the first couple of chapters, I had a hard time keeping up with the names. This could be a personal problem but I do find a certain comfort in a story that starts off slow and builds up momentum. This is not to say that there was anything wrong with Grigaliunas’ approach.

And, sure enough, as I continued to read, I was further and further absorbed by the story. As soon as I developed a connection with Ariliah and Rabreah, I was hooked and that’s exactly what a good book should do. Good writing isn’t just about stringing words together in a beautiful fashion, it’s also about what those words mean and create.

***

To be frank, this book wasn’t what I expected it to be. With a title like Sowing, I expected something of a murderous culling, you know, where some criminal ticks off his targets one by one. Of course, that is not what I got with his novel but I’m not disappointed by any means. Although, after finishing the novel, I do wonder what sparked the title because I still don’t get it. And I also do not understand why the series is called the Purification Era. Maybe I missed something along the way but I totally noticed the totalitarian government part of Nazi Germany but not the Holocaust part. If purification is a statement on race then I guess I expected something a bit more dramatic.

***

I would certainly recommend this book to anyone who is a fan of dystopian novels. It is similar enough to Nazi Germany to make you reflect on that part of human history while still being unique enough that you can enjoy the story for story’s sake. The language is fluid and easy to understand. The alternating perspective between sisters makes it easy to pick a side and engage with the plot. Are you team Ariliah? Or are you team Rabreah? So, if you love a story that blurs the lines between good and evil and keeps you guessing until the very last page, then this is the book for you.

***

Score: 4.5/5

Plot: 5

Characters: 4

Language: 5

Enjoyability: 4

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amazonauthorinsights-live · 7 years ago

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Writing Insights Part Three: The Revision Process

By Hugh Howey

It is often easier to rewrite from scratch than it is to revise

Welcome to the third entry in my four-part series on writing insights. In the first part of this series, I listed the things I wish I’d known before aspiring to become a writer. The second entry was all about how to get through the rough draft. Now I’d like to discuss how to improve your rough draft to get it ready for publication.

Many of the points in this section deal with the craft of writing. You may wonder why these are brought up after a rough draft is complete. Shouldn’t you learn to write before you beginwriting? I wish it worked this way, but it doesn’t. You learn by doing, not reading about doing. Rough drafts require skills beyond the skill of writing. They are about endurance and stamina. They require willpower and force of habit. Many phenomenal writers can’t complete a rough draft and never will. This is why much of the writing advice out there is really just motivational advice to get you through that first draft. More “You can do it!” rather than “How-to.”

This is exactly as it should be. Once you know you can write a novel, you can learn through the revision process how to write a better novel.

Having said that, all of these insights are meant to be read at any time. If you haven’t written your first word, I would recommend reading this entire series before you begin. There are insights about the publication process in the next section that may influence how you structure your rough draft. And if you’re working on your tenth novel, there may be something in here that helps you see the writing process in a new light. Or you may see what’s missing from this advice and share your thoughts, which will help me and others in our writing processes. With this series, I mostly have in mind the aspirational writer, someone who is where I was ten years ago. So it assumes nothing and attempts to help anyone starting from scratch.

Before we get to the revision insights, I want to start by congratulating those of you who find yourself at this point of the writing process. It’s an amazing accomplishment. I’ll never forget the day I finished my first rough draft. I happened to be visiting my mother and sister at the time, and that night we went out for a celebratory dinner. A USB thumb drive containing a backup of my work sat on the restaurant table as we ate. I didn’t want to let that manuscript out of my sight! I still didn’t believe it. For the next week, I had to stop myself from telling perfect strangers that I’d written a novel. I also realized during this week that I had no idea what to do next. I’d worked so long and so hard to get to this point that I’d never researched the rest.

Here are the ten things I wish I’d known, sitting at that dinner table all those years ago…

Insight #21: Don’t rush to publication.

For many writers, getting the rough draft complete is the hardest part of writing a novel. It can feel like you’re done at this point, and you might want to get the project out into the wild so you can start on something new, or so you can get some feedback, or see if it’ll be the runaway bestseller that you hope it might. These impulses lead to tragic mistakes. New authors will often submit a manuscript to agents before it’s ready; or they’ll self-publish before the work is truly done.

Now is not the time to waste all the effort you’ve put into your rough draft. Now comes the fun part. The next step(s) will involve perhaps a dozen full passes through the work. Yeah, a dozen or more! Each pass will gradually smooth away rough spots and errors. It’s like taking a roughhewn hunk of lumber and turning it into a polished piece of furniture. You’ll start with heavy grit sandpaper and work your way down to wet-sanding a typo here or there.

The beauty of the revision process is that this is where you’ll learn to become a great writer, much more so than in the rough draft stage. The techniques you pick up as you shore up your story and polish your prose will carry over into the next rough draft. Because of this, the writing process will get easier and easier. The revision process will become faster and faster.

I’ve heard some writers suggest that you should step away from a rough draft for a length of time, but I never understood the usefulness of this. When I finish a rough draft, I celebrate for a day and then go right back to the beginning of the novel to start the revisions. There are a handful of main things I want to accomplish with the first pass: (1) I want to plug any missing sections (scenes or chapters I skipped). (2) I want to make the prose more readable and improve the flow between sections and chapters. (3) I want to give the characters and my world more depth and detail. (4) I want to tighten the plot, add some foreshadowing, close any logical holes.

Now is also the time to think about how you plan to publish this work, which is the area we’ll cover in the fourth and final part of this series. If your rough draft is a 300,000 word epic fantasy tome, and you want to publish this with a major publishing house, your revision process is going to involve cutting that draft up into three novels to create a trilogy. This will require some plot restructuring. One of my keenest insights that I possess now, which I didn’t appreciate when I started writing, is that how you publish will influence what and how you write.

In the next section, we’ll also discuss how insanely easy it is to publish these days, and this is why some patience is required. In the old days, you didn’t have a choice but to be patient. It could easily take several years (if at all) to bring your book to market. Now it takes a few hours. I want to convince you to take longer. At least ten revision passes before you submit to agents or self-publish. I promise you’ll be glad you took this advice.

Insight #22: It is often easier to rewrite from scratch than it is to revise.

Before we discuss revising, it’s worth pointing out the alternative: rewriting. Yes, I hear your collective groans. We just got done writing the rough draft, and now we have to start a scene or chapter from scratch?! From a blank page?! Can’t we just move a few words or sentences around and be done with it?

Usually, you can. The revision process mostly involves massaging what’s already in place. But there are times when revising actually takes a lot longer than a rewrite. Understanding when this makes sense, and being brave enough to tackle these challenging moments, is often the difference between success and failure. I’ve seen entire manuscripts abandoned and/or destroyed because of this fatal oversight.

This is especially true with the opening chapters of a manuscript, which are the most important chapters for hooking your audience, whether that audience is an agent, a reader, or a publisher. As you wrap up your rough draft and go back to the beginning, now is the time to explore rewriting as well as revising. You know your story and your characters more fully now. Your writing skills have improved through the hours and hours you’ve invested in this project. Maybe your opening feels a little stale. Or you wonder if the story shouldn’t start with a different scene or a different piece of information. You can try revising, or you can open a blank document and see what kind of opening chapter you would write now. It’s a fun exercise. You might surprise yourself.

This technique works wonders, and it works throughout your novel. You can peel off any scene or chapter or sentence and try it again from scratch. There have been times when I’ll spend hours trying to get a chapter or paragraph just right, then pound out something new in a fraction of the time that’s far cleaner and better. Our existing words often get in the way. Learn to step around them and try something new.

This fits well with the last insight from the previous entry in this series, about writing lean. The beauty of writing lean is that you spend more time adding material, and less time wrestling with the pain of deletion or the discomfort of massaging the wrong words into a different order that isn’t much better.

Insight #23: Great books are all about pacing

To become a better writer, it helps to understand how the delivery of words affects a reader’s mood and their retention of information. The most important tool in this regard is pacing. Pacing can mean different things in different contexts. The next few insights are all about pacing in one way or another.

Let’s start with the importance of overall book pacing and construction. It can help to consider extreme scenarios in order to arrive at more general truths. For instance, imagine a 300 page novel with no chapters or scene breaks. I’m sure they’ve been written or considered by people eager to break rules and convention. I imagine they are nearly impossible to read. Why? Because our brains are built to absorb ideas in chunks and to process those chunks individually.

We experience things in the moment, move those experiences into short term memory, and then perhaps to long term memory. If we get too much information all at once, we can’t process it well (or at all). Chapters and paragraphs signal an opportunity to file away what we just absorbed and prepare to absorb another chunk. This is why paragraph length is critical for flow and retention. If possible, paragraphs should be of similar length, each one containing three to seven sentences. This can vary depending on how long or short the sentences are (more on that in a bit). And this rule can be broken to great effect. Those effects are diminished when the rule is ignored altogether.

Short paragraphs stand out – but only if used sparingly!

And long paragraphs have their place in our stories, especially if the desired effect is to ease the readers brain into a somnolent state, like the sing-song of a lullaby. Proust was a master of paragraphs like these; they went on for pages, and were full of sentences that stretched line after line, full of clauses and lists, huddled together between commas and semi-colons and dashes, all with the combined effect not of conveying concrete information and facts, but to get the reader in a certain mood, perhaps to make them wistful, to deprogram their concrete minds so they were ready for the dream-state of Proust’s expert meanderings; in this, the words become like music, more notes than ideas, and the reader’s muscles themselves relax, a hypnotic trance ensuing, perhaps at the risk of losing them to literature’s great nighttime enemy and thief: sleep.

Practice both types of paragraph structure and pacing. Look for examples in your own reading. Ask how the authors you admire are affecting your mood as you read their prose, and then ask the same questions as you revise your rough draft. Chop up that long paragraph into two or more. Be frugal with your short declarations so you don’t rob them of their power. Treat your words like lyrics and listen for the song they sing.

Insight #24: Find your cadence between action and reflection

The pacing in the previous insight deals with how words are lumped together. Their physical structure, if you will. There’s a second kind of pacing, and this one deals with the actual content and type of words used. It’s the flow between action and reflection, and it’s especially crucial for works of fiction.

Action scenes don’t necessarily mean gunfights and car chases and alien invasions. An action scene can be an argument between two lovers. It can be a fierce internal struggle as a character decides to leap or step back from a metaphorical ledge. Action scenes are anytime something major is happening in the plot or to the characters. The reader is usually flying through these passages at a higher rate of speed, eager to see what happens next. Most often, these scenes have large blocks of text and less dialog, but that’s not always the case.

Reflection is what happens after the action. It’s when characters absorb the change that’s happened and plan what comes next. Period of reflection also give the reader a chance to absorb what’s happened and to guess or dread what might happen next. This is the cadence of your book, the rise and fall of action and reflection.

Now, if an entire novel was written with nothing but action, it would make for an exhausting read. And if a book consisted of nothing but constant reflection, it would be difficult to wade through. In the former, you would have change in your plot but not your characters. In the latter, you would have change in your characters but no plot. Every book should contain some balance between the two.

That doesn’t mean the same balance. A literary novel will typically have lots of reflection and very brief spurts of action. A genre novel will have lots of action and shorter pauses for reflection. I haven’t seen a definition of what makes a work “literary” that I fully buy, but maybe this fingerprint of cadence comes closest. It could be why many genre fans can’t read literary novels, and why many literary fans can’t abide genre works. It doesn’t matter if the genre works are as well-written as the literature – there’s simply too much happening. Not enough reflection. I would argue that pace defines these books far more than content. Which is why some great works of science fiction, like THE LEFT HAND OF DARKNESS or THE HANDMAID’S TALE, read more like literary novels (and are often shelved as such).

As you revise your work, look for places where the action goes on too long and consider inserting a pause for reflection. Let the characters catch their breath in an elevator, crack a joke or two, or tend to some wound or primal fear before you pick up the pace again. Similarly, look for anywhere that characters are ruminating too long and figure out how to spice things up. If you’re bored with what you’re writing, chances are a lot of readers will be bored as well. Make a gun go off; a car backfire; someone in the neighboring booth get the wrong order and pitch a fit; a zombie pop up that has to be dealt with, anything. And if you feel like you’ve gone on long enough, there’s always the em dash and a sudden exit—

Insight #25: Don’t repeat yourself. Unless it’s deliberate. And then repeat yourself carefully.

Alliteration and repetition are both an important part of pacing, and they both highlight the importance of grasping reading psychology. Readers love repetition when it is deliberate, for extra punch, for added stress. But our minds trip over accidental repetition, as when the same words appear too near to one another in a paragraph or chapter accidentally.

The psychology of this is strange, and it varies slightly from reader to reader. Common words can appear throughout the same sentence or paragraph without tripping the reader up. Uncommon words draw attention to themselves. If the reader sees a rare word twice, part of their brain will perk up and draw attention to the second sighting, which breaks the flow and distracts them from the content or emotional impact of the sentence. One of the most common things you’ll see from a good editor is similar or same words highlighted if they’re too close to one another in a manuscript. The editor will suggest changing or deleting one of them. This is always sound advice.

Repetition, however, can be extremely powerful if wielded appropriately. Play around and experiment. Pay close attention as a reader to see when you trip up and how you might have avoided that mistake in your own writing.

Insight #26: Reading is aural

I find it fascinating that we can hear ourselves think. When I was very young, I had a hard time telling if this was indeed the case. When I read silently to myself, am I “hearing” those words in my mind? Or am I just thinking them? What seemed to settle the question for me was the ability to hear various accents in my head. I could think with a British accent, or a French accent, which meant the words didn’t just have meaning, they had pitch and inflection and all the properties of sound.

This is why cadence is so important when it comes to writing. It’s why the long paragraphs mentioned (and demonstrated) above have a powerful effect on us. This is also how we can hear our characters’ voices, and why it’s important to make those voices distinct. Common writing advice includes the importance of observation: sit and watch crowds and make note of how they move, how they dress, how their features look. This is great advice. But we have to observe with our ears as well.

Some of your characters will have gravelly voices. Others will have a slight lisp. They should have accents and vocal tics. Be sure that all of your characters don’t have your vocal tics, or they’ll all sound the same. You want these voices to jump out, so try to exaggerate the differences between their voices in your own head. The common mistake is to leave them all sounding the same.

Another mistake writers make is to leave out all the background noises that bring a scene to life. Pay attention when background noise is done well. A great example is the novel THE THOUSAND AUTUMNS OF JACOB DE ZOET by David Mitchell. Birds and street-sweepers, mischievous monkeys, the rattling of the wind, all of these things set the stage and help break up the dialog and narrative passages. They also help bring the world to life and make it real. Read this book, and you’ll become a better writer; I guarantee it.

The musicality of silent reading is why punctuation is so powerful. How much pause do you want readers to take? This power lies almost entirely with the choices you make. Liberal usage of commas – and there’s no hard and fast rule on many of the comma choices we make – can change how a sentence sounds in one’s head. The em dash (as used above) is super powerful. So are parentheticals as in the previous sentence; the beauty here is that a parenthetical provides not just a pause, but a hint to the reader to say these words softer, almost like an aside. The semi-colon in the previous sentence keeps things flowing more than a comma but less than a period. And going without punctuation as in the previous sentence, when I could easily have added one or two commas, rushes you right through.

The last sentence in the above paragraph could easily have been written without the middle clause and the two commas that encase it. It wouldn’t change the content or meaning, it just provides an example of what the sentence before it didn’t employ. Each of these decisions is a branch; everything sounds different depending on which one we go down. One of the most powerful skills a writer develops over time is the ability to “hear” these various choices in advance and choose the best one in each scenario. At first, it’ll require typing out several versions of each to see which you like best. Read each choice both aloud and silently. Eventually, you’ll make these choices without realizing it, and your writing will grow stronger.

I’ll say it again: Practice. Take a chapter you aren’t thrilled with and rewrite it from scratch, going for a more breezy style or a more punchy one. Write scenes that don’t have anything to do with your work in progress. Athletes do this all the time. They play a game of HORSE to improve their shooting form. They take a hundred free throws in a row. Actors will sit in front of a mirror and go through different moods and inflections; writers should do the same. Sit down and write a car chase, a bar fight, a sex scene, someone losing their job, someone getting their dream job, someone wishing they could quit their jobs. Do these things to play with your pacing and punctuation. If you go these extra lengths in your writing career, you’ll see dividends. I promise.

Insight #27: Zoom down into your character’s eyes.

Remember those posters that became a fad for a while, the ones that looked like tessellations of shapes but held hidden scenes of dinosaurs and dolphins? Kiosks in malls sold them. People would crowd around them and stare and stare, and then bust out laughing or gasp in surprise. Because if you crossed your eyes just right, 3D images popped out of nowhere. And then they’d disappear. You’d fight to get them back.

When you write your fiction, do you see the words on the page, or the events you’re describing? The chances are, you mostly see the words. I want to convince you that you can see both. And that the more you practice, and the deeper you fall into the flow of writing, the more often you’ll see just the action, and the words will disappear.

When you find this flow, you’ll write with astonishing speed and clarity. This is a truth that surprises most non-writers: On the days that I write the most, I have to edit the least. Quantity and quality often come hand in hand. I’ve written 10,000 words in a single day and had to edit very little of it. I’ve had other days where I agonize over 300 words and use none of them. Some days I get my eyes crossed just right. Other days, I’m staring at words.

The voice and tense you choose have a huge impact here, and we’ll discuss them next. More important perhaps is the zoom level you pick. You have to pinch-to-zoom your manuscript at times. If you are writing a fantasy novel, and you start with a prologue, you might want to zoom way out and write with a detached omniscience about the history of the land, the coronation and death of kings, the foment and ravages of war. If you are writing a thriller, you might start off your story by zooming in to write down the barrel of a gun, deliberately leaving out-of-view the larger context (like who is pulling the trigger). My advice is to stay as zoomed in as you possibly can. See the world through your characters’ eyes at all times.

Video games usually come in one of two perspectives. One perspective is the isometric view; it’s a third-person view above the action and at an angle. Unfortunately for many writers, this is the default view we assume when we write our first novels. I think it’s a huge mistake. We end up describing events and scenes as they appear, rather than as they feel. We give too much context about the layout of the scene and the action, and not enough context about the emotions and feelings of those experiencing those actions. If you feel like you’re seeing your story from this isometric, over-the-head view, stop writing and zoom back in.

The other videogame view is the first-person view, and this is what we’re after with our writing. Push down into your characters’ skulls. See the novel through their eyes. What are they thinking? What’s going on in the background? Are they hungry? Scared? Excited? Cold? Angry? Do they have any lingering aches? Is their mind wandering? Did they miss-hear something and need it repeated?

Whatever you do, don’t fall into the trap of describing events to the reader. Live through those events yourself and help your readers do the same.

Insight #28: Play with Tense and Voice until you find the right combo for each work

Tense and voice are basic writing concepts, but they merit mention here. I can’t count the number of times I’ve written a story in one tense or voice and had to revise the entire work to a different tense or voice. It happened in the previous entry of this series when I needed to write a quick chase scene. I thought it might be useful to share the before and after, so you can see the difference.

In past tense:

Marco bolted out the back door, Sarah right behind him. He could hear bar stools and tables toppling, had that last image of Marco reaching for his gun, and now every nerve in his body was waiting for a shot to ring out, for Sarah to cry she’d been hit, or to feel the punch and burn of a bullet slamming into his body. He urged Sarah ahead of him, knowing being shot would hurt less than seeing her go down. The end of the alley was a forever away. Footsteps pounded behind them, one of the goons yelling for them to stop or he’d shoot. Sarah swerved left and threw her shoulder into a shut door, the wood cracking. As the first shot rang out, Juan threw himself against her to shield her body with his. The both of them crashed through the door and into a busy kitchen. Men and women in white turned and gaped, but there was no time. Juan and Sarah scrambled to their feet and kept running.

And now in present tense:

Marco bolts out the back door, Sarah right behind him. He can hear bar stools and tables toppling, has that last image of Marco reaching for his gun, and now every nerve in his body is waiting for a shot to ring out, for Sarah to cry she’s been hit, or to feel the punch and burn of a bullet slam into his body. He urges Sarah ahead of him, knowing being shot will hurt less than seeing her go down. The end of the alley is a forever away. Footsteps pound behind them, one of the goons yelling for them to stop or he’ll shoot. Sarah swerves left and throws her shoulder into a shut door, the wood cracking. As the first shot rings out, Juan hurls himself against her to shield her body. The both of them crash through the door and into a busy kitchen. Men and women in white turn and gape, but there is no time. Juan and Sarah scramble to their feet and keep running.

Present tense is more powerful when we want to leave the outcome in doubt. Past tense often spoils the fact that the narrators lived to tell their story. Even worse, past tense can lose some of the immediacy of action. Anyone who has watched a taped sporting event versus a live sporting event can relate. Knowing that a thing is happening right now is a powerful feeling. But there are times that past tense just feels more apt for a particular story. Many writers are more comfortable writing in past tense, so they default to this. Whatever you choose, be consistent through each scene or chapter (in most cases, the entire book). And choose deliberately.

Voice is another major decision, one that can change in the revision process. This is a laborious amount of editing, so it’s best to think on these things early. But don’t be afraid to try both and see which one works better. There are myriad combinations of voice and tense. Some combinations are more off-putting than others, but this doesn’t mean you can’t make them work. The HUNGER GAMES books are written in first-person present tense, which many find difficult to read. Millions of fans of the books disagree. Here’s my chase scene again, this time in first person:

I bolt out the back door, Sarah right behind me. I can hear bar stools and tables toppling, and I see that last image of Marco reaching for his gun. Every nerve in my body is waiting for a shot to ring out, for Sarah to cry that she’s been hit, or to feel the punch and burn of a bullet slam into my own body. I urge Sarah ahead of me. Getting shot would hurt far less than seeing her go down.

The end of the alley is a forever away. Footsteps pound behind us, one of the goons yelling for us to stop or he’ll shoot. Sarah swerves left and throws her shoulder into a shut door, the wood cracking. As the first shot rings out, I hurl myself against her to shield her body. The two of us crash through the door and into a busy kitchen. Men and women in white smocks and hairnets turn and gape, but there is no time. Sarah and I scramble to our feet and keep running.

First-person present tense is great for reader immersion, but don’t rely on it. The number of sentences that start with “I” can be grating to the reader, so you have to work hard to mix it up. And the advantage with third-person perspectives is that we can move between characters from chapter to chapter. There’s also the nagging doubt that our narrator doesn’t survive their adventure, that the reason it’s told in third-person is because it has to be; the protagonist doesn’t make it. Third-person can be just as immersive if we write it zoomed in, as we mentioned above. Give us their thoughts and perspective, and it feels almost like we’re writing in first-person:

Juan hadn’t felt love like this since high school. Since Amanda. Turning over his arm, he studied the scar there across his bicep, the jagged raised whelp with the staggered row of dots to either side. She had told him to stop being a baby, to hold still, but he’d seen the way her hands shook as she threaded the needle. He remembered the blood on them both. There was only so much numb in the world when thread is making its way through flesh, skin puckering up as it’s pulled tight, the girl you love twisting her face up in concentration and worry, and you trying your damnedest to not pass out. Only so much numb in the world . . . What Juan wouldn’t do for some of that numbness right now.

In this example, we remove the reader from the POV by making it third person, and we remove events from the present by describing something about the past, and we write it all in past tense! Normally, these choices would create distance and reduce immersion. But is the passage above any less immediate? It feels like it’s through Juan’s eyes, even though it refers to him in the third person. Details and zooming work miracles, and they balance out our decisions about voice and tense. Speaking of details…

Insight #29: Details, details, details.

It has taken this long to mention my favorite writing technique, and now you’re in for it! Details turn stories into works of art. Details make us believe the stories we’re told. The number one thing that separates a serviceable writer from a great writer is the level of detail they achieve. We’re going to go through several examples here to kick your attention to detail up several notches.

Before we do, I want to stress why details matter. Our brains are wired for telling and hearing stories; there is some good research to suggest that this is a foundational feature of the human brain. We are storytelling animals. Some of these stories are true, and some aren’t. Some are meant to warn us of danger, some stories are meant to just give us information, and some stories are designed simply to entertain.

When stories are full of little details, we tend to believe them. Especially if those details make sense, and we don’t think the person telling the story would know to make those details up. Con men and practiced liars are great at sprinkling in details to distract from their overall fictions. Fiction writers should take note.

Let’s look at some common mistakes I see in early novels. These are problems you might find in your own work. These problems arise because the author cannot see the details of their world and their characters. The absence of these features call attention to the fiction. They create a backdrop similar to the one in the film THE TRUMAN SHOW, a feeling of all façade and no substance.

– The main character has no job and seems to never have had a job. You see this in a lot of YA. The character’s job – according to the author – is to allow the plot to happen to him or her. The character cannot possibly know about the plot that’s going to unfold, so this bit of convenience distracts us. Our brains can tell there’s something wrong, something missing.

– Entire branches of the protagonist’s family are missing. Anyone not central to the plot is absent, or paper-thin. Grandparents especially. This is because many authors don’t know how to include details without distracting from the plot. Great writers sprinkle details in a way that make the plot easier to understand, rather than distracting.

– Characters in poorly written novels often feel naked and empty-handed. When most of us leave the house, we have to plan what we wear, and we hunt and double-check that we have a handful of important items with us. In many freshmen novels, the character only has the plot to attend to. Out the door they go, furthering the plot along. Again, this often comes from improper zoom, inattention to detail, and not thinking about characters while away from the keyboard. As the author, you might know the protagonist is out the door to meet the girl of his dreams, but he only knows he’s going grocery shopping. Have him prepare and think accordingly.

– Food, water and their disposal. We eat, poop, and piss a lot. Characters in fiction never seem to. You don’t have to capture every instance, but you do have to include enough. Keep your characters hydrated! Make them stop the car and pee in the woods, the wind causing shadows to dance on the forest floor, the sound of something large moving through the branches, hopefully a deer. Food and its disposal are a great chance for reflection and cadence. No one does this better than George RR Martin, but you don’t have to take it quite so far as he.

– Give your characters scars, both physical and emotional. Too many characters are inserted into a plot as a blank canvas on which to drape some action. Their next love is their first love. Their next injury is their first injury. This is because not enough time has been spent daydreaming about these characters, their pasts, their families, their experiences. ROMEO AND JULIET starts with Romeo pining for his last love. The pattern of his fickleness tells us depths about him that a one-time love affair would not (and more about the Bard’s view of love as well).

– Behind-the-scenes knowledge. I read a book recently in which a character went on a talk show. One of the details mentioned was the choreography of cameras dancing and weaving beyond the bright lights, and it not only painted the scene for me, and what it must feel like to sit up there, it made me suspend disbelief because the author was sharing a detail that I realized must be true that I don’t often think about. Small details like this are what make it difficult to be a great writer; you need to know a lot of things about a lot of things. This is why a wide variety of experiences, jobs, reading, travel, and other types of media consumption make for a better writer.

– Totems and object origins. Does the character have a favorite piece of jewelry? Is their car a hand-me-down from a friend or relative? Is there a secret place they keep the things dear to them hidden? The more details like this that you sprinkle in, the more you’ll find use for them later in your plot. Just the mention of an uncle who gave your character their beater of a car might inspire you to bring that uncle in for a greater role down the road. This is the amazing thing about sprinkling details throughout your novel: Each one is an instance of pure imagination, and intricate plots are built on them. The best part is: when you use some detail for later inspiration in your novel, you’ve set up the original mention as a nice bit of foreshadowing.

During the revision process, I’m always looking for places to add detail. In my chase scene from the last section, I originally didn’t have the chefs in the kitchen wearing white smocks and hairnets. With just a few words, we can paint a scene more vividly. In a fast paced action scene, only certain highlights might stand out. We might not see that one of the chefs is tall and thin, another short and squat, one holding a colander, another stirring a steaming pot. But we’d notice they’re all dressed the same, because a group of strangers rarely are. We might notice all are wearing hats or hairnets. Or that one is holding a knife, because our adrenaline is pumping. Which details we choose to add are important. Think about what would stand out to your character if you were in their shoes.

One last example of detail, this one on how to interrupt your action. The world does not come at us linearly. When people talk, they rarely do so in complete sentences. They finish each other’s sentences, cut each other off once they understand the gist of what’s being said, incorrectly hear some words and make mistakes or have to ask for clarification. And some details interrupt the flow of the plot. A plot on rails stands out as being inauthentic. Send characters down dead-end alleys, literally and metaphorically. Use interruptions to sprinkle in backstory, foreshadowing, and missing details.

For instance, your detective might be chasing the bad guy when her grandmother calls to ask her to help with her computer. The detective doesn’t have time right now. You never have time for your grandmother, she might hear. Oh, okay… And she walks her through sending an attachment to another relative, all while trying not to lose the killer. Diversions like this add depth and realism. They wake the reader up. Make sure your story has a few.

Insight #30: Get help!

Every writer has strengths and weaknesses. You might be a whiz with dialog, but you can’t write action scenes that feel gripping. You can build amazing worlds, but you can’t create characters that leap off the page. There are hundreds of small skills that add up to one great writer; no one starts off good at all of them.

Getting many different perspectives on our works during the revision process will not only improve the drafts, they’ll improve the writer. It’ll make subsequent novels better, and they’ll require less editing. Join a writing group in your area; form one if a writing group doesn’t already exist. There are online editing groups out there as well. These groups often exchange rough drafts, and each member makes notes to assist the author. Take this process seriously. You’ll learn much through another author’s strengths and weaknesses. They’ll teach you much in return.

Read about writing, especially while you’re in revision mode. One of my favorites is EATS, SHOOTS AND LEAVES by Lynne Truss. It’s a hilarious book about grammar that will clean up lots of technical mistakes, leaving room for your editors and critique partners to comment more on story, characters, and pacing.

Find a loved one who can be an honest critic. My mother has been a wonderful collaborator over the years. She never hesitates to tell me where I can improve a story. It also helps to know when she’s confused, when I’ve left out too much information, or perhaps where I added too much detail.

When the revision process gets to the last stages, and you’re reading along looking for typos and rough edges, rope in some beta readers if possible. Some authors employ dozens of beta readers, but this is only easy to do once you have a following. Starting out, you might have to cajole friends into helping. Whatever you do, don’t be worried about “giving away” your work or your ideas. If you’re this far along in the process, you’ll know by now that execution is the difficult part. Ideas are the cheap bits.

Those are my top ten insights on the revision process. If you’ve made ten or twelve passes through your work, and you’ve had some editorial assistance to find the things you missed, you should have a nicely polished draft of an interesting story clearly told. Now what? How do you get as many readers as possible? Or as many sales? Or win awards? Or ensure the best chances of making a livable income?

* This is the third in a four-part series. Read the rest:

Writing Insights Part One: Becoming a Writer

Writing Insights Part Two: The Rough Draft

Writing Insights Part Four: Publishing Your Book

A version of this article appeared at The Wayfinder.

Hugh Howey

Hugh Howey is the author of the award-winning Molly Fyde saga and the New York Times and USA Today bestselling WOOL series. The WOOL OMNIBUS won the Kindle Book Review 2012 Indie Book of the Year Award.

#publishing #self-publishing #writing #revision #editing #write #howeyinsights

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