#getting the business end of yoko's tail

[aquarianshift]

neko ono

for Beatles October Day 31: In Costumes

(inspired by all the pictures of john and yoko that look like a witch & their familiar)

[winstonhenderson]

𝟏𝟗𝟕𝟔.

𝓦𝓪𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓐𝔀𝓪𝔂 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓟𝓪𝓲𝓷

𝙎𝘼𝘾𝙍𝙄𝙁𝘼𝙈𝙀 𝙎𝙀𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙎

Paul’s Diary

I was in New York for a couple of reasons. First, I was going to the record agency to regulate some rights. Second, I was going to play some gigs. Same old, same old. But this time I wasn't on my turf, or I wasn’t even on some strangers turf, I was on John’s turf. I had to brace for anything to go wrong and remind me of the good times me and him had that I ruined, and I was frankly scared I might run into some John fanatic and be swarmed. Though I could’ve got into the same problems anywhere, it was a much bigger chance to get into those problems here because John is the favourite of New York musicians. John and I are officially still in a fight, so my fears were warranted. But even though I expected a hassle, I came for business. It is the biggest music industry currently, coming only a bit after London, and I can’t miss that kind of an opportunity. But also, I couldn’t miss an opportunity to see John, even though it seemed like a far off fantasy. At first I was just hoping to run into him by chance. Even though he was a stay at home dad, I thought he still went out. I could do my business without worry. But that worry grew as the days went by. When a third of my stay passed, I made a different strategy. I would check the places where people knew John was a regular. I somehow always missed him. When I went to the place and searched around, there was no trace of him. Sometimes I would run into my friends and they would tell me either he left sometime ago and they didn’t know I was so keen on meeting him or that they would tell me when they see him next time because he hadn’t been there in a long time. And another third passed in mindless searching. I gave up and finished the rest of my business, in the end agreeing to go to a gig of an up and coming band in some small and homey cafe. By then, I had lost hope, even though I should’ve known that I would’ve run into him in a place like that.

I walked into the cafe and the musicians were setting up. I forgot a bunch of their names, but I knew I’d get along with them swimmingly. I heard a scream.

“Oh, fuck, the day Paul McCartney wants to play with us, something goes wrong!”, the guitarist said.

“No worries, if it’s not something big, I could fix it.”, I went to them.

I look at the speakers and try to figure out what is wrong. I sat there for five minutes, but I can’t get heads and tails on this technology. I give up on looking at the shell of the machine and open it, finding a bunch of short circuits.

“That is very broken.”, I said, “Find a mechanic.”

“Oh, oh, shit! I am so sorry, Paul, but we’ll have to play later.”, the guitarist apologized.

The rest of the band looked demoralized.

“Don’t worry, I have the rest of the day free.”, I felt bad for the bunch. They were as us four were when we had an important gig as a small band. I chuckled.

“I am so glad to have such an understanding colleague.”, the guitarist sighed, “Thank you so so much!”

“It’s alright.”, I smiled.

I scanned the cafe and even though it was small, it was almost full and the atmosphere was lively. I was looking for a drink when I heard some snogging in the back. 

“God, fuck, stooop!”, I heard some small moans, “Stop, I don’t fucking know you!”

I ran to the back and wanted to save the bird, but I found John struggling to get out of an embrace of a woman. There were a bunch of drinks that looked weird on the table.

“Just play along Johnny, it’s just for a little bit, then you can have your Yoko back.”

“Do I have to… You look like a caramel apple with chocolate drizzle. I wonder if they even sell that.”, John chuckled, playing with her hair.

Well, John is high. And the bitch spotted me.

“Oh shit!”, she yelled, “Oh, John was-” 

Her acting was unconvincing.

“Get away from him!”, I came in and wrestled him out of her paws, “Why did you spike him! He can’t be spiked!”

“He is just like any other man, just talented, smart and rich. I want a piece of that.”, she smiled.

“Get away, you disgust me.”, I said.

“A man? That’s funny.”, John chuckled, “Why if it isn’t my darling Paul McCartney?”

He was high and ready to bite. But, I had to figure out which high John I had business with. Is it “could be left alone for a minute” or “I’m scared he’ll fuck something up” high John?

The girl in the meantime got lost. That bitch. I dragged him to the nicer seats.

“Change of scenery? Much better here, Macca.”, John sighed, “What the hell was she on to makeout with me?”

“John, even though you have a wife, I think a lot of our fans still want to makeout with you. And you obliged that many times yourself.”, I sighed.

He could be so in his head.

“What are you talking about? Are you purposely trying to reveal me… Oh, your head is so big. Yeah, it shows how smart you are. My smart partner.”, he chuckled.

“Every single person knows about your shenanigans with women.”, I said flatly.

“Paul, not everyone knows I am…”, he came close to my ear, “queer. It doesn’t really need to be made clear. I already have a lot of problems.”

Oh.

Oh, no.

“Problems?”

“Of course. I haven't told anyone yet so I’ll tell you first. I am writing something new. Oh, I mean. John is writing something new. I don’t want anyone overhearing. Though if they do, it would mean nothing. I’m just a nobody.”, as I concluded.

It’s the “I’m scared he’ll fuck something up” high John, or 

“Julia?”

“Yes, Paul? Ask away. Finally someone calls me right.”, well Julia is tripping hard if she can’t figure out she is in costume. What did that bitch put in her drink?

“Jules, you are in costume.”, I told her.

“Oh. Wait, what did you say?”, she was distracted then of all times, “Your head looks like it’s going to explode. Is there something to fix that?”

“Ignore that, you are tripping and are still in costume! You drank a spiked drink.”, I sighed.

“Spiked? I would never do that.”, she pouted.

“What is important is for us to get out of here as quickly and silently-”, I started but the waiter interrupted me.

“What would you like to order? Oh, it’s, wow…”, of course, the waiter knows us both.

Before I even got a word in, Julia began.

“Paul, don’t get ahead of yourself. I would like two vermouths, he would like… Oh, kind of forgot to ask what would you like, Macca? Though I already have a guess.”

I had to go along with her order. But I could pay in advance and that could give us the time to go somewhere else.

“Hm, a margarita would be fine.”, I sighed.

“Um, I’ll get you that. It’s interesting though. Aren’t you famous for ordering Brandy Alexander?”, the waiter asked.

“Where did you get that idea from?”, she was panicking already.

I looked at the waiter crossly.

“Could we pay in advance?”, I asked.

He prepared the bill, the disappointment visible on his face.

“You can.”

“I will pay, I haven’t seen him in a god awful while.”, Julia once again slapped my hand away from paying, “I missed ya sugar.”

She fumbled with the money for a bit, and somehow managed to find the exact amount.

“Sugar?”, the waiter noticed the small mannerisms Julia had.

“Yeah, the reason I don’t need any with my vermouth.”, that was smooth Jules, but quite unnecessary in front of a person.

The waiter acted like he didn’t hear anything and went on his merry way. I was fuming.

“Julia, we are going right this second.”, I ordered.

She looked at me with the saddest eyes.

“Paul, don’t go outside and leave me. I promise I won’t flirt anymore with you if it bothers you that much…”, she stretched the vowels unbearingly long and I was heartstricken again. Julia knows how to pull my heart strings the best.

“I’m not leaving you. I just want to get you somewhere safe. We could go to your flat-”

“Yoko will kill me- I mean John. She would kill him because of him arriving there uninvited and such.”, she was still not going to acknowledge that was in costume, huh.

“We could go to my flat here.”

“You live here?”

“No, you git, I am just renting.”, I chuckled though I remembered she was high out of her mind and it wasn’t that funny anymore.

“Is this a ploy, McCartney, for me to get into your bed?”, she offhandedly bantered.

“No? I mean I love you, but I have Linda.”, at this time I thought “Please don’t get clingy or whiny. God save our reputation and friendship.”

“You don’t love me anymore!”, and she got CLINGY and WHINY. She took my hand and held it to her heart, “Aw, Paul, you changed. Well, my poor heart still beats for ya.”

People were staring. She let my hand go.

“Oh, must you always be so difficult, Lennon.”, I smiled and acted like it was a joke, “Didn’t know you wanted to write again that much.”

Some turned away. Julia’s torn mind cooperated.

“You’re the difficult one. Always prim and proper. Maybe we are the same, though I am usually committing a crime.”, Julia joked, “We could write, I thought your blue hairedness wanted a date.”

“Blue hair?”

“Yeah, like the sky. Why’d ya dye it?”, I felt sorry for her.

“Um, we’ll talk about that later, here’s our drinks.”, I said, “And please fetch us a couple of bottles of water.”

The waiter wasn’t weirded out anymore and fully understood what happened. He hurried off.

“That’s quite a fast waiter.”, Jules noticed, “Oh, well, guess I’ll drink a couple of vermouths.”

“Hold your horses. How is Yoko?”, I asked to stop her from drinking, “And Sean?”

She scoffed.

“Sean is alright. I like taking care of him. He is smart and curious, though the bugger could be rude.”, she chuckled.

“For Yoko, she still can’t get over you and me. She is mad when she sees me being you know… Fragile.”, she hugged herself.

“I know. I’m here now, Jules.”, I held her hand. I forgot the feeling. The mask she likes to wear always had a tight grip on anything, he was ready to tear into anything. While her grip was always soft and melancholic. It was the same hand but a totally different atmosphere.

“Cheers to that Paul.”, she grabbed her vermouth.

“Julia.”, I grabbed her vermouth.

The waiter arrived with the water.

“Take this. Please. We’ll take this with us.”, I sighed.

The waiter grabbed our drinks and went off to the bar to try to pack it.

“No. It’s just water. Alcohol could hydrate me as well.”, Julia declined.

“That’s bull and you know it yourself.”, I scoffed.

“You have a point, love.”, I softened at the love part.

She drank the water.

“Ugh, give me more, my head is on fire.”, she was recovering.

I gave her the second glass of water, she drank it even faster than the first one.

“Oh, oh, fuck. That was too spiked. I’m still swirling.”, she said, “More.”

I gave her the third and fourth bottle.

“Enough Paul, I didn’t ask you for the river Nile, I asked you for another glass.”, she drank the third bottle and recovered a bit. Then I thought about what she said.

“You purposely drank a spiked drink!”, I was mad!

“Who expected it was going to be that effective?”, she was joking! At that time, when she felt like trash and needed help, she thought it was the smartest thing to joke. But Julia is like that.

“Julia, this isn’t funny. I was being serious!”

“Paul, it’s hard, it’s hard living every single day in a prison.”, Julia was poetic again.

“Jules, you made that prison yourself. Let’s go somewhere else.”, I sighed.

“Wait, wait! Macca, aren’t I still in…”, she looked around and at herself.

“Fuck, fuck, what have I done!”, she was panicking, “I made a couple of incidents for sure! Everyone knows, everyone knows!”

“Calm down.”, I was cackling.

“Paul, PAUL! This is serious.”

“Now it’s serious! And you spiking yourself isn’t.”, that was quite smooth of me.

“I’ll tell you some other day, McCartney.”, she was offended.

I guessed she would go back to John again. She gathered her thoughts.

“Well, let’s start over. Hullo, Paul, what does his highness want in New York City this time?”, that was John’s way of saying things. I was right.

“I’m here for business mostly.”, I lied.

“People told me that you were here for a whole month! Wouldn’t you have finished the work by now? Or just how big is it?”, he asked.

“John, you asked around for me? Why didn’t you reach out first?”, I was shocked. I knew Julia would be out and about asking for me, but for John, I thought it was “below” him to admit to doing that.

“I missed you too, Paul. I went to the place where you worked but I didn’t go in because I was a bit- too occupied with taking care of Sean and such, you know?”, he nervously laughed.

I chuckled.

“You should’ve just gone in. I didn’t know you were embarrassed.” “I was not embarrassed!”, he was red, “I was just a bit scared of doing that as, you know, me. I didn’t want to make you feel bad.”

John cared more about me than I thought.

“No. No, you would’ve made things so much easier!”, I was relieved, “Lenny, you know much more than those buggers! The cunts made it so hard to work normally.”

“Oh, McCartney being rude. I didn’t see that in a while. I thought you were a brand-friendly sellout.”, he joked letting out his frustrations to me.

“I can be frustrated too, y’know!”, I was angry.

He smiled wide.

“I missed you so much.”, he declared, “Let’s jam at yours when my head stops ringing.”

“Oh, we have a chance to do that here. Some kids invited me to jam with them.”

“Kids? Paulie, you are 34 years old.”, Lenny began laughing uncontrollably, “They look about twenty five-ish. Have you become a grandpa or something in my absence? Should I call you Queen Paulie? But that isn’t as good as Princess Paulie.”

I sighed and blushed.

“You know exactly what I mean Johnny!”

“Alright, alright, I’ll be the rhythm guitar then. Or piano. Or mouth harmonica.”, he began listing off.

“Stop. They’ll make place for you, Lennon.”

“Of course they will, Paul and John together! Who would want to miss that.”, he sarcastically said that and took me by the hand.

The waiter came back with bottles of our drinks and the ingredients. 

“I apologize for making a mess. I’ll pay for this too? Right, I paid the first time.”, John’s mind was still a bit sloshed.

The waiter was on the brink of crying.

“Mister, no need to cry, I am doing the bare minimum. Set your expectations higher!”, he told him straight.

The guitarist, frontman came back with the fixed speakers. He was huffing and sweaty from running. The rest of the band gathered round him and helped him with setup.

“I’m going to fetch Paul after we finish this.”, he was unfocused, “I already made a delay, now to force him to setup would be just-”

He paused for a solid minute.

“What would it be, lad?”, John asked.

I went to help the band.

“Too much.”

“Oh, but for the Paul I know, it would be too little. He would overdo it.”, John chuckled.

The frontman lifted his head after setting up the speakers and was in pure shock.

“Paul, no, the terms we agreed upon!”, the frontman tried to stop me.

“He is stubborn.”, John was getting on everyone's nerves.

“And just who are you to tell me that?”, he turned around and saw John.

“Oh, I had a hunch but I couldn’t believe it!”, he got excited.

The rest of the band got excited.

“Please play with us!”, they pleaded, “Lennon and McCartney playing together would be such a honor!”

I threw him a “see, I was right” look.

He sighed.

“People, you are swarming him.”, the frontman said, “You can decline.”

“No, I won’t. Paul finds ya gear, I find ya gear too.”, he smiled with his teeth.

The whole band became even more excited. They let us help them, and we ended up doing most of the physical work because they were busy trying to impress us. I am right in calling them kids.

John wistfully sighed.

“Remember when we were like that around Elvis and he ignored us? We can’t ignore these kids like that.”, he said.

“You indulge others too easily, Lennon.”, I began but softened, “But I know what you mean.”

“Oh, but I am still critiquing them. I’m not indulging them, love.”, he was being very sweet.

We were quiet for a minute. We heard a riff they wanted to throw in at the last minute.

“That’s gear, but still needs some work, lemme and Paul at it.”, he was truthful.

We got to work and they watched us with big eyes.

“Shift this chord here. Then, we should make it unfinished… Put this here.”, he mumbled in our writing language.

“Move it up to A. That sounds alright.”, I mumbled back, “Maybe add some thrills.”

I played it back to the band and they were amazed.

“That’s a bloody great riff Paulie.”, he was satisfied.

I reddened, like I do at John’s compliments to my music. They were so rare.

“We are using that! Thank you so much!”, they were so happy.

“Alright, what is the program for tonight?”, I asked.

They gave us the program. It was mostly covers with a couple of their songs which were easy to learn, but had some nice progressions and riffs that needed a bit more work.

“You even put “One After 909”. Aren’t you glad I’m here to sing that?”, John joked.

The frontman got so excited!

“We’ll put on more Beatles songs, we want to play them with you!”

“No need, we like these songs you picked.”, John chuckled. Looks like the cockiness came back.

“He didn’t even ask me. Classic Lennon.”, I scoffed, “But I agree.”

“Why scoff then?”, all of them laughed.

“I had to.”

“You never get old, Macca.”, I smiled on his remark.

We rehearsed for a bit, and went on the stage at 9 even though we were supposed to play from 4 p.m.

The cafe was full of people, which I’m sure made John nervous because he hadn't played in front of a big public in two years.

“What is this? The Cavern Club after 1963?”, he quipped, making the whole cafe laugh.

The frontman introduced the band, but I ignored him because I was focused on John.

“And as guests, I can’t believe they are here to play with us, John Lennon and Paul McCartney.”

The people clapped.

“Paul, let’s bow! Let’s bow!”, he excitedly whispered.

We did the classic Beatle bow. The audience went crazy.

The frontman began, but whispered something into John’s ear.

John looked at him crossly but chortled.

“I’ll be counting down today then, hope you understand little old me.”, the public was enjoying every second.

“Oh, you’re understandable Lennon, believe me.”, I quipped.

“And one, two, three, four.”, we played.

He stared at me mostly while playing, smiling like a fool. I guess he was nervous. The band was amazing! They were a solid backing track, and when their songs took over, they were very competent. John and I didn’t sing their songs, we just played. I was proud of John. Even though he was out of practice, he played wonderfully. The audience was delighted and that was the most important thing for this band and John. He wouldn’t exist if it weren’t from them. 

“Thank you, thank you, that’s all for tonight.”, he smoothly talked to them.

They riled up.

“More, more, more!”

“Oliver Twist asked for more.”, he spoke in his falsetto voice.

The audience laughed.

I send him a knowing look. The band was tired by now.

“We’ll play some classics then.”, John entertained the people while I went to the frontman and told him:

“Begin packing up, we’ll hold ‘em if you’re tired. If not, play something yours.”

They were out of breath.

“Okay, you can end it then. Thank you! This means the world to us!”, the frontman hugged me.

I hugged back.

“Alright, Johnny, hit it. And one, two, three, four!”, I started.

Our guitar heavy songs were present (like “Twist And Shout”). We played and played to our heart’s content.

We were tired by 2 a.m. 

“That’s it folks!”, he winked.

The audience groaned but they were tired too and went off. Us two packed the instruments. The kids left the pay in the case for the instruments. On the envelope in little letters was written “Thank you for your kindness and publicity! We can’t let you go unpaid for this kind of dedication.”

“I’m not taking that.”, I said.

“Interesting. Still I think you should respect the band, and take some of it.”, he assumed.

“Alright.”, I chuckled, taking half of my pay and giving him half of that.

“As I deserve.”, he chuckled, “No, I’ll take it from my pay. I don’t want yours, Paulie. Now, where should we go off to?”. He took the same amount from the other envelope which had the same writing.

“Let’s go to my flat, John.”, I offered.

“I’m fine with that.”, he agreed.

I got excited!

“Paulie is amused. That’s what I like to see.”

“See, Johnny, is it that hard to be balanced?”, I asked.

“What?”, he was confused.

“Is it that hard to be polite and reasonable when you’re John?”, I asked him again.

“I wasn’t polite! Nor that reasonable. Oh, oh, you mean now with the money!”, he got mad.

“I mean you were not extreme. You weren’t hateful, you weren’t overly cocky, you kept yourself in check. I forgot the last time you were like this.”

“Well, I remember it clear as day. It’s August 27th 1968.”, he saddened.

We somehow always end up mentioning it. I exhaled...

“Paul, I’m sorry. I promise I’ll call you more. I have to stop distancing myself from me…”, John sighed.

We arrived at the complex and went upstairs to my flat.

“You are one of the best ideas thought up. You really are. As much as you treasure yourself, I treasure you. I’m sorry because I always wanted you gone.”, I unlocked the door.

He stared at me, his eyes full of tears. I couldn’t withstand him crying, because I would tear up too. He threw himself onto my bed.

“Paul, you loved me even though I behaved like a jerk!”, he shouted.

“John, I made several songs about that! And you still hate me!”, I snuggled with him.

“I don’t hate you Paul! I told you that multiple times!”, he sighed.

“You TOLD me. But your ACTIONS say otherwise.”, I explained.

“Oh, it’s all coming together.”, he began, “I know why I am so extremely angry!”

“Why?”, I wondered.

“It’s because I’m bloody sick of everyone! I was sick of your commanding attitude, I am sick of Yoko’s constant nagging about you and Julia and I’m sick of everyone expecting something from me! First it was Mimi, then it was Brian, then you, then Yoko, and now the whole motherfucking world expects something from me!”, he screamed into the pillow. The pillow was wet. He made it this hard on himself.

“You don’t have to prove anything to me. You don’t have to prove anything to the world. You are not the main character y’know? No one is.”, I chuckled. He calmed down.

“I purpousely drank the spiked drink from that lady. The day was overly long and overly boring. No one was in town. Sean and Yoko went somewhere without me. I don’t know if I want to visit Julian anymore, because he hates me so much, and for a good fucking reason. I ruined his and Cynthia’s life.”, he sighed, “I ruined every single relationship I came across. Every normal person would want me gone for good! I wanted to wash away the pain! Wash away the feeling that I am John. I wanted to be sloshed for one single day and you come in. I didn’t realise I would fuck myself in the process by being that kind of high.”

“John Winston Ono Lennon, you are a coward.”, I said, “You wanted a name for yourself? You wanted to change the world? Deal with it. You can give up! We can live together like we imagined all those years ago. I barely remember when Julia wanted something more than a fling.”

“I always thought we were serious.”, she surprised me.

“ACTIONS, John, ACTIONS, not WORDS.”, I repeated, “I love you! And now I will show that I love you. Where are we?”

“We are at your place.”, he said unenthusiastically.

“Yes! Because otherwise Yoko would kill you for gallavanting!”

He hugged me.

“Thank you, Paul. For everything. That drink could’ve made more damage if I revealed everything or worse if I took more and collapsed on the spot.”

“YES! Thank you for acknowledging you need me sometimes!”, I hugged back tighter.

“Paul, Paul… Paaaull. That’s a bit tight. I’m suffocating-”

“Sorry!”, I let go.

“I’m already wrapped tight.”, he took off his shirt. Oh, the famous bandages that few people knew about. Aunt Mimi’s trusty tool, that Julia misused so long ago. I unwrapped them from John’s body as I used to when we were touring and were finally alone. He put on his shirt covering himself.

“Bathroom?”

“Down the hall on the left.”, I explained.

“Okay.”, he went.

Nervousness and curiosity flooded my state of being. I felt as if it was 1961. and I was a flustered teenager who found out his best friend was all along a bird he liked.

After a couple of minutes, he came out of the bathroom in his clothes that were dirty even though he washed himself. And when I mean washed himself I meant completely, his hair was wet and his teeth were clean.

“You used my toothbrush?”, I pouted.

“Did you ever have a problem with that?”, he chuckled.

I blushed.

“Well, this washed my worries away better than that spiked drink, don’t you think, Macca?”, he asked.

“Naturally.”, I sighed, rolling my eyes.

“May I sleep here, your majesty?”, he proposed.

“I dunno, may you?”, I played with him.

“I can’t refuse cliche banter, Paulie, you know me too well.”, he smiled, though I’d rather say she smiled.

“Jules, John’s confidence always suited you.”, I kissed her on that smart head of hers.

She snuggled beside me.

“Shut up and sleep, I need some peace and quiet now.”

“Oh, are we cranky?”, I patted her on the shoulder, “Good night, Jules.”

“Good night, Pretty Princess Paulie.”, she patted me on the head, “Your quiff is fluffy.”

“Not like your hair though.”, I played with it.

“Paul, promise you’ll have patience with me tomorrow and we can play again?”, her eyes grew big.

“I promise we can play again!”, I kissed her on the cheek, “We will, I already told you I missed you.”

“You mean so much to me, Macca.”, she kissed me on the lips, “Now, please sleep, I have to finish tons of work and find someone to take care of Sean while we’re out and about.”

“I will.”, that was a lie.

“No, you won’t sleep. You want revenge for me keeping you up during touring days.”

I laughed.

“Then, Johnny, what do you want me to do?”

“Sing then.”, she dug her head in my shoulder.

I smiled and sung.

Who knows how long I've loved you?

You know I love you still

Will I wait a lonely lifetime?

If you want me to, I will

She sung along.

For if I ever saw you

I didn't catch your name

But it never really mattered

I will always feel the same

She kissed the place where my heart was positioned.

Love you forever and forever

Love you with all my heart

Love you whenever we're together

Love you when we're apart

She laid back and got comfortable drifting away. I looked at her face. She had an honest smile. One of her true smiles. One of the rare treasures.

And when at last, I find you

Your song will fill the air

Sing it loud so I can hear you

Make it easy to be near you

For the things you do endear you to me

Oh, you know, I will

I will…

I drifted away, nuzzling into her hair. 

Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm

Da da da da da da da

My eyes closed on her carefree laugh I used to hear during the fifties and sixties. When it was just us two against the world.

Rest of Sacrifame

[grievedifferent]

a modern verse for kurama —— or more accurately: minamino shuichi. ** note that this verse will constantly have additions and alterations made as i continue to rewatch and reread yyh, as well as when i get new ideas since this will be a primary verse for kurama ** before reading this post, it might be good to read this post first. while it's heavily connected to yyh, it does go over kitsune lore, references kurama's true age, and other details that are pertinent here

name: kurama or yoko kurama, king of thieves, king of bandits alias: currently minamino shuichi species: (kitsune) yokai posing as human*

* this is still what kurama describes as a merger — he has not possessed the human fetus he stole away into but literally overtook it. he is as much that human body as it is him.

human age: currently 19 yokai age: 5,000 (presumed over 5,000) birthday: march 03 (shuichi) -> this is the fanon birthday that the japanese fanbase celebrates for kurama

hair color: red eye color: green height: 6'0 body type: lithe

kitsune fur color: silver kitsune eye color: gold

profession: flower shop worker, formerly an employee of his stepfather's small business — despite being a top honor student, he did not pursue going to college or any other form of higher education

what about his mother? stepfather? step-brother? — his mother (shiori) still gets sick, but miraculously recovers with special herbs and remedies grown by kurama himself. it nearly cost them both their lives. she still gets remarried, he still gains a step-brother (also named shuichi), and still ends up (temporarily, in this instance) working for his stepfather. they live in a large, comfortable house. his mother works at his stepfather's company.

what about hiei, yusuke, and the others? — he has no affiliation with urameshi yusuke or kuwabara kazuma. he was an upperclassman, went to a different school, and overall? they avoided each other, running with different social circles, and having different goals. whether yusuke is even alive is questionable. as for hiei, they know each other, or at least it's hinted that kurama has a demon affiliation in the human world. what hiei is up to him is up to him. overall? they do not come up much in kurama's modern verse, unfortunately.

what are his goals? his original goal was to regain his power, and leave his "mother" (and the original "father", who was alive at the time) at the age of 10, but found he could not after his shirori risked her life for him when he was roughly "9". (this portion of his backstory is also in that linked post above) now? he seeks to live a simple human existence, battling with his two identities, and blend into human society. as he grows older in the human realm, his powers as a yokai only grow stronger, more unstable. he is still deciding if he should leave his family, trying to gauge a point where they "no longer need" him.

cont. a lot of kurama's powers (the rose whip, the use of plants as weapons, his healing abilities) are still present in this verse. the skills he has in yyh are directly reflected into this modern verse.

as for the demon world ... there is no demon world, but there is (usually) a spirit world. humans and demons live in the same plane of existence, or this adapts per thread.

regarding kitsune lore, i am still following what i do in his yyh verse. it's based a lot off various kitsun mythos, but ultimately abides by togashi's (loose) interpretation(s).

to start, there is no humanoid yoko form in this verse. his only yokai form is that of a kitsune, the fox we see in the manga and anime. he cannot seem to revert back to his kitsune form.

in this interpretation, following yyh, he started as a fox (of sorts?), became a kitsune (sometimes called a demon), and earned his silver coloring and subsequently his four tails (gaining one every thousand years). he was a thief fox who specialized in breaking seals and codes, picking locks, and stealing treasures and artifacts.

what happened to yoko? similarly to yyh, he was accosted by a hunter who overwhelmed him, almost killing him, before he "merged" with the fetus of shiori.

what is he doing now? living with his family and running a flower shop that he intends to buy.

[kamimuse]

Seeking answers

Hisao had been in the trade capital for three days now, hunting for answers. Thankfully he hadn’t been alone in his search. Neugdae, who had disappeared months ago had returned just before the priest had left Eorzea for the east. He’d been against bringing the younger man along on his trip, but the young assassin wouldn’t be denied, and had decided to stow away on the ship regardless of the hingan’s protests. When Neugdae was revealed to have followed him all the way to the foreign trade country, the priest eventually gave in and allowed the miqo’te to assist in his search. He had help and he wasn’t going to refuse it this time.

His efforts in Thavnair had not entirely proven fruitless, but the options he’d found to break this blood bond with the others were less than ideal. There had to be something else, something more ceremonial, maybe a bind breaking ritual. His last night in the Shroud before leaving had left the man unable to breathe. He hated this. This had been why he stayed away from people. This had been why he shut himself away from the world. It had been almost two decades since he had felt this much pain and fear. He couldn’t concentrate on his work, and he certainly didn’t want to risk the lives of others when he still had so much left to do. The hearing gift the Raen had was only a small part of the problem, but it certainly added to a growing pile of concerns. Thankfully it made for the best excuse to see this new task done. He couldn’t have others distracted or worrying about him.

Scouring shops, libraries and temples for alternative answers to what he’d found had been in vain. Even his last-ditch effort to look for answers in Alchemy had given him nothing to work with. His former master, from whom he’d learned of blood magics, was gone. He’d seen to that personally. He didn’t dare seek out the guild of underground witches, not after what he had done. A short trip to his master’s former home had been unwise, but it was the only place he had left to search that may have answers. Walls along the outside of the burned down estate had given way to secret passages that lead to the underground study that had been left abandoned for years. Some flooding and mildew had claimed the floors of this hidden study, but most of the magical materials and tomes were still intact within. Among the many books the priest picked out to take home with him, it had been a short time of searching before the two had even found what Hisao had been looking for. If not for Neugdae he might have overlooked his master’s most precious Grimoire. It was only after that they had returned to the Inn to compile what they had found, Hisao spent hours pouring his focus over every tome until he’d opened the Grimoire only to find one of the two answers to his query.

There was no doubt someone had noticed his presence in the city when he and Neugdae had been scouring for answers. Not that anyone could do anything about it- he was already boarding a ship with his apprentice and headed for Kugane. He knew someone there who might be able to help at least, someone who specialized in magic involving bonds. He was at least grateful he had sent word to her before he left on his trip, on the off-chance it would come to this- and it had.

The trip to Kugane had not taken as long as the trip to Thavnair from Eorzea. Most of it had been spent sleeping. It had been some time since he’d been back to Hingashi for personal reasons as he usually only came passing through on business related affairs. While this was business related, he still felt it was a very personal affair. He had been in the city for all but maybe an hour, getting off the boat and making his way to the Hostelry for a bite to eat with Neugdae, then sending the younger man on some errands to fetch him some items off a shopping list he would need for the exorcism he would perform back in Eorzea when he eventually did return home. After he’d sent his apprentice off, he finally made his way to the Rakuza district.

Conveniently nestled near the end of the market and around the corner from Kugane’s courtesan district, a shop of interest caught the Raen’s eye.  A hole in the wall magical services shop. Dark double doors, one front window full of plants and what looked like statues of different eastern Deities- all of which looked either like goddesses or feminine depictions of different Kami and spirits. The signage outside of the shop advertised love potions, love spells, infatuation charms, glamour magic, and natural aphrodisiacs.

The priest stood outside the shop with a grim expression, and likely stood there for a minute or two before finally finding the mental strength he would need to deal with what resided inside the snake oil shop.

Stepping inside the small doorway, the priest found everything as he expected it would be. Shelves lined the walls with a variety of different home remedies, alchemical goods, ritual components and edible items such as supplements and the like- anything you could imagine a shop like this would have was readily available to the public for those who wished to enhance their vitality in the affairs of love making. Hell, there was even fertility tools for those wishing to start a new family. It was exactly the kind of business practices the priest refused to offer. The man would not have been here had he not been desperate.

Moving his way to the front counter, Hisao noticed no one was around even though the sign out front said it was open. Curiously the older man looked back to the entrance and saw the enchanted bell above the door had not been tripped. Walking back over to inspect the bell’s enchantment, he frowned when he realized it had been deactivated. Just as he was starting to suspect foul play, the sound of light thumping could be heard from the back room behind the counter. Thump. Thump. Thump. Heavy breathing between two parties and then a soft gasp.

The Raen’s eyes slipped shut as his irritation began to build upon realization of what he was hearing. Of course. He did not expect anything less. Striding back over to the front counter the Raen slammed his hand down on the service bell next to a little basket of “infatuation bath soaps”, to which he genuinely sneered at. The sound of brief hingan cursing was passed from a feminine voice, and soon there was shuffling of clothing and as though someone was hastily getting dressed. A moment later a young hingan man stepped out from behind the back room, passing through beaded curtains. He was hastily tying his Yukata closed and pulling his pants up and fastening a belt, his face bright from embarrassment and likely afterglow. He didn’t bother making eye contact with the priest standing at the counter, likely out of shame- Nope. He quickly made a quick escape through the front door as soon he could, but did not leave until after a young and pretty hingan Raen woman stepped out from behind the curtains, her own yukata tied loosely around the waist, slipping off to one side to bare a lovely pale shoulder. “I’ll see you next week.” The woman said with a playful wink, earning herself a bashful smile from the young man before he disappeared out the doors with a bounce to his step.

Hisao’s brows narrowed at the young woman as he inhaled a deep breath. Kami help him. He cleared his throat to get the woman’s attention, her pale sea foam green eyes eventually shifting over to the dark-haired au ra, a slender hand reaching up to comb through her own dyed purple and aqua colored hair. The woman flashed Hisao a wicked smile finally as she wiggled her painted nails at him, striding confidently around behind the counter as she leaned across it, pushing up on her tip toes to make herself a little taller as her tail playfully swayed behind her.

“Welcome home brother.” She teased. “It’s rare I see you coming into my shop. Are you here for a divination reading on your future love life? Maybe an infatuation incantation or a love potion by chance?”

“Yui, a pleasure as always.” He said flatly, turning and moving to the front of the shop and flipping the open sign to ‘closed’ and then promptly locked the door behind him, earning a slight annoyed scowl from the younger Raen.

She’d recognized this behavior and it meant he had to talk about something serious. He rarely came home for anything other than business, so that’s likely what it was related to. Deciding she would need to be buzzed for this, the woman reached under the counter to produce a pipe and some of her own personal moko stash and began working away at stuffing the pipe as she spoke towards her older brother.

“Pleasure? Yes, that’s what I specialize in, but I doubt that’s what you came here for. You must be working on some odd case to have come all the way here. I doubt this is family related- unless Setsuna sent for you.”

“What’s wrong with Setsuna?” He asked, casually striding over as they regarded one of their many siblings.

“Mm. She’s getting married next spring. She’s been in the market for a priest, and thought you should have the honor, but Yoko was against it.”

“Typical.” Hisao muttered quietly. “Unfortunately, I don’t do weddings- even for family.”

The priest crossed his arms over his chest, his gold eyes peering around the shop in thought, pondering how long had it been since he’d been here? Likely since it first opened some time ago, and the younger woman had owned the shop for many years now.

The small femme raen lit the end of her long-stemmed pipe and took a long drag from it. It was a pretty piece- ornamental dark hardwood, all hand carved with what looked like Kirin running across swirling clouds. Tapping her long purple nails across the end of the pipe in thought, she drew it away from her lips and exhaled a slow rolling stream of smoke from her dark purple painted lips. Her makeup was excessive but complementary to her waist length hair and pale gaze.

“Yes, I told her that.” Yui said, eyeing the older au ra a little scrutinizing now.

She could sense something was wrong with him. His aether felt… unnatural. Different somehow. She couldn’t put her finger on it. It was then she noticed the sleepless rings under his eyes and the fatigue that wore him down physically, despite the enhanced braces she knew he wore. Finally, she spit it out.

“Something happened. What did you do?” she asked quietly, her voice low but accusatory all the same.

Hisao’s turned his gaze back to the woman finally and gave her a quiet look.

Then he explained.

   Yui was quiet for several moments in near disbelief after her brother had regaled her with the details that had unfolded for him for the past week or so. She had always known and understood Hisao had practiced the more taboo in terms of his work, so the young woman wasn’t surprised by the priest’s sudden predicament. Setting her pipe down and beginning to pack it away, she started to chuckle.

“What did you think would happen?” She cast him a sly and arrogant look, her tone condescending as if she were scolding a child.

This earned her a frown from the older man as he inhaled a breath, trying to will himself not to be criticized by a lesser mage. He’d already been harassed by Belia about his magics. One woman belittling him was more than enough. Even then, she was probably right. He should have planned for these sorts of consequences- to be fair, he had expected something different. Just not this. Still he remained quiet and trained a focused eye on her as she continued to laugh in his face.

“There was no time, and no other options. I did what I had to.”

“You could have let them just die and be done with it. Wipe your hands clean of- “

“I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

The woman leveled a flat stare at their brother then gestured to the door. Amusement gone from her features as she snapped right back at him.

“If you didn’t come here for my opinion, then why are you here, Hisao?”

That seemed to shut him up. He was seething below the surface, but he did come here for her help after all. She was the only one of his sisters who still talked to him, and it was likely because they were both black sheep in a family of mages. Deviating from the family tradition of walking the path that was chosen for them, rather than what they had wanted. Hisao was still attempting to break from his path as a healer, but when it was your strongest gift, habits die hard. Inhaling another deep breath to settle his nerves, his gaze softened as he peered down at her in a pleading manner.

“I told you in my letter why I went to Thavnair. As you can expect, I could only find two methods for breaking a blood bond.” Hisao explained, his expression falling a little.

“I thought severing the aetheric connection would be enough, but it isn’t. I can either kill those I am bonded to, or I can have my memories of those bonded erased.” Clearly the priest didn’t like either of these options. They were drastic. All those late-night conversations and gentle bonding. Both he had grown incredibly close two.

“There has to be another way.” Hisao’s hope was hinging on his younger sister that she might know other options available to aid in the bond breaking.

The woman looked skeptically at the older man.

“Have you considered just- you know. Living with it? Maybe develop some real relationships? The Kami know you need something positive in your life. It’s not healthy spending your days alone in your garden.”

“I’m not going to subject myself to emotions that are not my own. Much less put anyone else through the same.” Hisao frowned at her. If he wanted to live with it, he wouldn’t have come to see her!

Seeing her older brother’s huffy expression, she rolled her eyes as she brainstormed for a moment. After a moment, she frowned, her long lashes fluttered as she turned to peer up at him with concern. She didn’t like what she was about to offer, but at least it didn’t suck half as bad as the other options he’d found in Thavnair.

“There is a few options. Though only one certain one I can think of off the top of my head that has a guaranteed success rate.” She said simply, drumming her nails on the countertop as she straightened up, pulling the shoulder of her Yukata up and over the bare skin, making herself a little more decent.

“I have a ritual I’ve performed for people who are heart broken. I’m sure it will work in a similar fashion to sever ties of empathy. It’s not irreversible, but it’s very difficult to undo once you’ve completed the ritual. It doesn’t cut the blood-bond to the other person, but it helps.”

Hisao waited with bated breath. Well? What was it? Could she even help? It certainly had to be better than a memory erasure or death. Two absolute extremes. A silence hung between them for several minutes and Hisao finally shrugged at her, upturning a hand as if silently asking her to continue. What was the hesitation?

Finally, she caved and sighed with a more worried look on her features than before.

“Hisao, this method completely cuts out all emotion from your being. This means you would feel nothing going forward. No joy, no anger, no humor, no love- nothing. You won’t feel pain, but you won’t feel relief either.” She explained slowly, her tone lowering as though she were trying to explain the consequences of the spell she was speaking of.

At first Hisao seemed very interested, his eyes widening some as he thought about what she was offering. Something that would remove all distraction from his life, something to let him -focus-. He was already a great mage as it was, but this would give him an advantage to become perhaps one of the most powerful. True it would strip away what made him a person, so it wasn’t ideal in that aspect, but it was better than some of the other alternatives. As he was about to say something, she cut him off, frowning as she recognized the look of contemplation in his gaze.

“Sure, you’ll function like anyone else, and through the bond you will recognize when someone else is experiencing emotions, but you won’t feel them. You won’t know how to process them- you won’t be able to. You’ll never feel fear, and you’ll never feel comfort. Think about this Hisao.” She warned.

The more she explained the more conflict he felt. If he went through with this, the bond wouldn’t be broken, but it would mean he would not endanger or subject himself to distraction for the others. It would stop any conflict in the future, and it would put the priest’s mind at ease. Yet to not feel the joy and love for the earth he so cherished. It was a cruel hand that fate had dealt him. As things stood, he could not continue on the same path. In only a few short days he had been undone. He would need to find another alternative soon if this wasn’t the answer either.

It was then that he closed his eyes, and he could see the empty darkness in his mind’s eye. Floating endlessly with nothing but silence and darkness that stretched on forever. Perhaps it had been a premonition not of just death of the physical body but the unavoidable silencing of his heart. Did he sacrifice his memories or his emotions? He smiled, perhaps a bit bitterly as he lowered his gaze. Dark magics always came with a price after all.

“…You can perform these rituals?”

“I can.”

“Come with me to Eorzea then.”

There was a silence that hung in the air after his request for her to join him back home and she had to consider his offer carefully. Yui didn’t want to be responsible for damaging her very own flesh and blood, but she didn’t want the older Raen to do something reckless either. Finally, she sighed at him and pushed herself away from the counter as she turned to head into the back room, casting a cool glance over her shoulder to the priest who was still reeling in thought.

“I’ll pack my things then.”

[narutoocgallery]

I mostly want a full review of my character, You may publish if you like, i wouldn’t mind. :) Thank you!!

General

Name: Megumi Yoko

Age: (Part I) 12-13 (Part II) 15-17

Species: Human

Gender: Female

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

Blood Type: O-

Birthday: October 18 (Libra)

Personality: Peace loving, Elegant, Irresolute (very hesitant), Diplomatic, Idealistic, Avoids head-on arguments ( Just like how she fights lol) and Mellow

Good Trait(s): Diplomatic, Tactful, fair-minded, Peaceful, Calm.

Bad Trait(s): Detached, Indecisive, avoids confrontations, will carry a grudge

Like(s): gentleness, sharing with others, the outdoors, sweets, swimming, warm water/weather, the sounds of moving water, and Harmony.

Dislike(s): loudmouths, conformity, Dry areas, large social groups, Snow, Given to many opinions, Difficult decisions and Short range fights.

Hobby(ies): Swimming!, and Sewing

Fear(s): thunder/lightning, abandonment (or being alone), being forgotten or not remembering things, and being buried alive.

Strength(s): Water Areas (Ocean, Lakes, Rivers, etc) Water style jutsus, and Swimming,

Weakness(es): Lighting style jutsus, Strong Fire style jutus, Dry areas, and heat

Personal Quote: “…well ya know…”

History: (Sorry if this sucks)

Megumi was born in the hidden mist village, her mother and father were respected ninja of the mist. After Marriage Megumi’s mother was shortly pregnant And became a stay at home mom. Megumi’s father kept being a ninja and was away from home a lot, this was normal. One Afternoon when Megumi was 6 years old Megumi’s home was broken into by rough ninjas

Megumi’s mother was out-numbered and she knew she had no chance to live though this but she wanted to save Megumi. She hide Megumi away and told her to not come out no matter What she heard, Megumi was hidden in a closet ( if the rough knew about her or not they left her.) Megumi’s mother was killed, her body was left on the floor to bleed out.

Once it was quiet Megumi peeked out to only see her dead mother on the floor in a pool of blood. Megumi sat down next her dead mother, she was covered in blood but she seemed to have zoned out. She didn’t Leave her mother’s body until her father came home and pulled her away.

At the age of 8 Megumi started growing scales on her feet/legs. This was a passed down trait in her father’s family that skipped him but got to Megumi. She tried her best to hide them from everyone

at school and in the village but it wasn’t hidden for so long. The kids at her school found out about her scales and she became out casted and labeled as a “Freak”. This made socializing with others hard for her. She didn’t make a real friend until she was 12 and got put into a team with Yachi and Takeshi who became her friends.

Megumi’s Father wasn’t around as much as he wanted to, He had many missions he had to do and had to be away for long periods of time. Megumi’s father loved her without question and that is why he did so many missions. He always left her in the cable hands of the village elders who treated her better than any kids at school. Megumi had a hard time calling the elders her friends but they were all she had at that time.

Looks and Appearance

Body Type/Looks: Thin and Pale

Height: (Part I) 147cm [4'10] (Part II) 155cm (5'1)

Weight: (Part I) 33.9 kg (Part II) 39.8

Makeup/Facepaint: None

Hairstyle(s): (Part I) Long, Curly Purple hair tied up in a ponytail. (Part II) Long, Curly purple hair that is wore down and ends at her mid-back.

Accessories: Small Gord that holds Water/(part II only) Poison water.

Scent: Wet Strawberrys.

Scars or Tattoos: has some small cuts on her left forearm. (It’s always covered)

Jewelry and/or Piercings: None.

 Traits: Her Feet/Cafs are covered in scales, these help her swim and stay longer under water.

Relationships

Parent(s):

Ryuunosuke Yoko (Father)

About: Ryuunsuke is a respected ninja of the hidden mist, He is well known for his powerful Water wolf jutsu that he kept in his own family.  

Tomomi Yoko (Mother)

About: Tomomi was a beautiful women and was much liked in her village; She was once a powerful Ninja but stopped when she got married to Ryuunsuke Yoko; Soon after their marriage, She becomes pregnant. She has her first child; Megumi. As Tomomi was at home; their home was raided by thugs against the mist village. Tomomi was killed; She managed to save her daughter.

Sibling(s): None-

Relative(s): None besides mum and pops.

Best Friend(s):

Yachi (+Teammate)

About: Yachi and Megumi were put in team together, Over the years of fighting together they became best friends. Megumi trusts Yachi more than anyone else in the Hidden mist village.

Friend(s):

Takeshi (+Teammate)

About: Takeshi and Megumi where put together in a team; Trust was low at beginning because of Takeshi’s quiet and miss-trusting looks. But slowly they began to trust and get along better, the more missions they went on and they got to know each other.

Sensei(s):

Yori-Sensei:

About:  Yori-sensei is the ring leader of Megumi’s Team. Not much is known about Yori, besides that Is powerful enough to go toe-to-toe with kakashi of the hidden leaf.

Student(s): Megumi couldn’t teach a monkey to breathe.

Crush(es)/Spouse/Bf/Gf:

Gaara of the Sand.

About: Gaara and Megumi didn’t start out liking each other. Megumi was incurably scared of Gaara after his fight with Rock Lee and even more so when Gaara’s demon was unleased. Megumi avoided Gaara for a long awhile. Her fear disappeared when she finally saw that Gaara wasn’t the monster he used to be.

Megumi ran into Gaara (and his siblings) why out on a mission with her team. Her fear of him was still their but he proof that he has changed.

Rival(s): Nah.

Enemy(ies): nah.

Pet(s): No pets

Favorites/Least Favorites

Food(s): Namagashi (type of wagashi, which is a general term for snacks used in the Japanese tea ceremony.) Taiyaki ( “baked sea bream,” is a Japanese fish-shaped cake.)

Drink(s): Green Tea, Calpis Water

Color(s): Blue, Black

Season(s): Spring

Time of Day: Afternoon (2:00am-6:00am)

Weather: Semi-Summer with Clouds.

Flower: Dahlia

Animal: Wolf/Dog

Ninja Information

Birth Village: Hidden Mist

Current Village: (Part I) Mist (Part II) Sand

Academy Graduation Age: 12

Chunin Promotion Age: 14

Rank: (Part I) Genin (Part II) Chunin

Ninja Status: Villager

Are you in the Akatsuki?: Nah

Bijuu [Tailed Beast]?: Nah

Teammates: Yachi, Takeshi (Talked about in relationships)

Sensei: Yori-Sensei

Nindo: “Fight to be remembered.”

Chakra Element: Water

Weapon(s): (Part I) Kunai, Water (Part II) Kunai, Poison water

Jutsu’s

(Part I)

*Water Wolf Jutsu - Family/Clan based

Rank: B-Rank

Range: Vary

*Water Style: Wild Wolf Fang Jutsu- Family/Clan based.

Rank: C-Rank

Range: Long Range

Water Style: Raging Waves (Rank-C)

Rank: C-Rank

Range: Short to mid range

Ninja Art: Hidden Mist Jutsu (Rank-D)

Rank: D-Rank

Range: All Ranges

Water Clone Jutsu (Rank-D)

Rank: D-Rank

Range: All Ranges

(Part II)

Water Beast Jutsu ( X headed water wolf)

Rank: B-Rank

Range: Long Range

Water Style: Marine Battle Formation Jutsu

Rank: C-Rank

Range: Short to Mid Range

Water Style: Mount of the Serpent

Rank: B-Rank

Range: Long Range

Water Style: Poison Rain Jutsu

Rank: C-Rank

Range: Long to mid Range

Water Style: Poison Dart Jutu

Rank: B-Rank

Range: Long Range

Water Style: Water Whip Jutsu

Rank: B-Rank

Range: Short to Mid Range

Water Style: Black Rain Jutsu (??)

Rank: ??-Rank

Range: Short

NINJA STATS

1 - 5: Horrible

6 - 8: Below average

9 - 10: Average

11 - 13: Above average

14 - 16: Talented

17 - 18: Gifted [This is Sannin level]

Strength in Jutsu

Ninjutsu [ninja techniques]: (I) 11 (II) 13

Genjutsu [illusion techniques]: (I) 7 (II) 8.5

Taijutsu [martial arts techniques]: (I) 9 (II) 11

Kekkei Genkai [bloodline traits]: (I,II) 0

Doujutsu [eye techniques]: (I,II) 0

Kinjutsu [forbidden techniques]: (II) 2

Fuuinjutsu [sealing techniques]: (II) 9

Strength in Missions

Intelligence:(I) 9 (II) 11

Wisdom: (I) 7 (II) 9

Strength: Physical: (I) 8 (II) 9, Water: (I) 10 (II) 13

Agility: (I) 9.5 (II) 12 (she’s good at running away lol)

Dexterity: (I) 8 (II) 10

Stamina: (I) 7 (II) 9.5

Constitution: (I) 1 hit O.K (II) 4 (Can take a hit but not many, She’s a distance fighter.)

Charisma: (I) 4 (II) 7

Comeliness: Cute as frick (I think she is.)

Chakra Control: (I) 10 (II) 14 (She needs the chakra control for 90% of her jutsu,)

Cooperation: (I,II) 10 ( This doesn’t change much.) 

P.S Please take your time <3

General: 

Generally fine, with a few points to consider.

 a)      Her personality you describe as ‘peaceful’ and ‘calm’, which doesn’t sound like someone who carries a grudge. Also, someone who is indecisive wouldn’t make for a very diplomatic personality, I think.

b)     You can’t really like harmony but dislike conformity, as the opposites usually go hand-in-hand.

 History:

Again, generally fine, the level of violence and adaption to family life is realistic to Naruto. I like the idea of growing scales on the body. It’s a distinctive character trait – it’s a bit of a shame that you decided to cover them up in the character design – maybe as she gets older she becomes more comfortable showing them?

However, I’m not sure she would get bullied that hard over them. Biologically exaggerated Kekkai Genkais have been shown to be not uncommon in the Naruto world, and just having some scales on the bottom part of your legs doesn’t seem all that weird in comparison to be honest.

Also, why does her father leave her in the care of the village Elders specifically? You said the mother and father were well-respected in the village, but it doesn’t sound like they were actually on the council or anything, meaning there would be more convenient people to leave her in the care of; after all, Elders are busy people (I assume by Elders you mean members of the village councils – if you just mean older people in the village, disregard this last bit).

 Looks and Appearance:

Why does she smell of wet strawberries?

The biggest question here for me is how the leg scales help her swim/breathe underwater? If she had webbed feet I might understand that helping her swim, but scales wouldn’t do that. Also, scales wouldn’t affect her ability to breathe underwater – or do you mean just stay under the surface of the water? In which case the breath-holding thing would come into play again; most ninjas are trained to stay underwater as cover and hold their breath for a long time anyway. I can’t really see how this trait would help that.

 Relationships:

Family and teammates look nice and varied. Maybe put a bit more thought into her parents’ personalities and values? Many of these would be passed onto their daughter as they raised her.

It’s good that your character is consistently scared of Gaara; that’s good and realistic. Maybe think some more about how their relationship would develop past ‘her fear of him disappeared’.

 Justus and Abilities:

Well-balanced; she’s not overpowered and you have a good spread of abilities and ability progression. I assume many of the jutsus you mentioned are made up by you so I can’t really comment too much on that.

 Overall:

You obviously thought and planned out a lot about Megumi Yoko and it shows. She’s neither overpowered not overly weak. I really like her, but I feel like you could make her stand out a bit more. With a very introverted personality, it can be easy for these kinds of characters to feel less well-defined than others. Looking forward to where you take her from here :)

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 12/12/2020

For the first time ever after being released in 1994, Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” has hit #1 on the UK Singles Chart, like it did on the US Billboard Hot 100 last year and will probably do so this year. This is a really short week full of nothing so that might be the biggest story here, and the song deserves it. It’s a great song and it’s genuinely massive. I wonder how newer songs like Kelly Clarkson’s “Underneath the Tree” will be able to enter themselves into the Christmas canon after Mariah Carey proved that it can be done with modern pop. Well, that’s not for us to find out today, because this is REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

Like I said in the introduction, this is far from a busy week, which almost surprises me. Sure, nothing important was released – except that Shawn Mendes album which flopped remarkably and debuted at #12 on the Albums Chart this week – but I did expect another festive flood of holiday tunes. To my surprise, this didn’t happen or at least not to the extent that I assumed it would. Sure, we still have a lot of Christmas songs replacing newer pop songs that had already been in the charts, ‘tis the season, but this week only had five notable drop-outs from the UK Top 75, and none of those are that notable. I guess “Ain’t it Different” by Headie One featuring AJ Tracey and Stormzy, one of the biggest hip-hop hits of the year, dropping out is a pretty big deal, but otherwise we just have “Diamonds” by Sam Smith, “UFO” by D-Block Europe and Aitch, “Come Over” by Jorja Smith and Popcaan, and I guess “Chingy (It’s Whatever)” by Digga D. All of these songs are recent and might have a rebound after the Christmas season is over, but I do have my concerns about the longevity of these songs, particularly because of how, you know, none of them are actually good. I guess now we could discuss some of our biggest fallers, which are of some quantity considering the season, so I’ll run these off quickly: “Midnight Sky” by Miley Cyrus at #15, “Therefore I Am” by Billie Eilish at #18, “Levitating” by Dua Lipa at #20, “you broke me first” by Tate McRae at #21 (these last four songs were all in the top 10 last week, by the way), “Prisoner” by Miley Cyrus featuring Dua Lipa at #22, “Really Love” by KSI featuring Craig David and Digital Farm Animals at #31, “Monster” by Shawn Mendes and Justin Bieber continuing to free-fall to #33, “Train Wreck” by James Arthur at #35, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #37, “Mood” by 24kGoldn and iann dior at #38, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #40, “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring NAV and Don Toliver at #45, “Dynamite” by BTS at #46, “Lonely” by Justin Bieber and benny blanco at #52, “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio at #54, “i miss u” by Jax Jones and Au/Ra at #56, “What You Know Bout Love” by the late Pop Smoke at #57, “Sunflower (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse)” by Post Malone and Swae Lee at #61, “All You’re Dreaming Of” by Liam Gallagher off the debut at #62 (our biggest fall this week), same goes for “No Time for Tears” by Nathan Dawe and Little Mix at #71 and some long-lasting hits right at the tail end of the chart: “Princess Cuts” by Headie One featuring Young T & Bugsey at #72, “WAP” by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion at #73, and “Looking for Me” by Diplo, Paul Woodford and Kareen Lomax at #74. We do have a lot of Christmas gains and returning entries, so before we get to anything non-Christmas, let’s round off those real quick. Returning to the chart are “Santa’s Coming for Us” by Sia at #69, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” by Frank Sinatra at #66 and “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby at #63. There are a lot more of our notable gains though: “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” by Sam Smith at #65, “Cozy Little Christmas” by Katy Perry at #58, “Love is a Compass” by Griff at #53, “Feliz Navidad” by José Feliciano at #51, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay at #49 (the biggest gain and deservedly so), “Santa Baby” by Kylie Minogue at #44, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” by Dean Martin at #43, “Sleigh Ride” by the Ronettes at #41, “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber at #36, “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney at #32, “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #30, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon and Yoko Ono with the Plastic Ono Band featuring the Harlem Community Choir at #29, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams at #28, “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade at #26, “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis at #25, “Driving Home for Christmas” by Chris Rea at #17, “This Christmas” by Jess Glynne at #13, “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande at #11, “Step into Christmas” by Elton John at #10, “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid at #8, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #7 and finally, “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens at #6. That’s not all of our gains and returning entries though, as we do have some peculiar events outside of the Christmas singles. First of all, “Blinding Lights” by The Weeknd is up to #39 thanks to a remix with ROSALIA, and secondly, “WITHOUT YOU” by The Kid LAROI returns to the chart at #23. I have no idea why or how this happened but I want it gone as quickly as possible. Anyway, we have three new arrivals to talk about, none of which are particularly interesting, so let’s get on with those.

NEW ARRIVALS

#75 – “Real Stuff” – Juice WRLD and benny blanco

Produced by Dylan Brady, Jack Karaszewski, Henry Kwapis, Cashmere Cat and benny blanco

The song’s not called “Real Stuff”, but come on, this is a family show. About a year ago, Jarad Higgins, or Juice WRLD, died tragically at age 21 of a substance abuse-related seizure. Naturally, since it’s Juice and his label we’re talking about, they’re still pumping out unreleased content. Two songs of this nature were released around this time, one with Kid LAROI and Kim Petras we’ll probably see next week and even higher on the chart, but first of all, an emo rap anthem produced by benny blanco and Dylan Brady of 100 gecs. I mean, okay, sure, it is 2020 after all. Blanco posted on social media about how this was his first ever recorded song with Juice when they had a studio session before Juice was that recognised, and before he was signed, they cooked up a lot of music. This makes it surprising how it didn’t leak after all this time but it shouldn’t matter. What’s important is the quality of the song and since this is a genuine song from a real-life studio session, it’s not nearly as insincere and cynical as some of the other posthumous projects from Juice. Sadly, I don’t this makes it any good. The clicking, stuttering trap beat doesn’t sound bad with his bumping 808s but doesn’t complement the acoustic guitar strumming or even Juice as much as it should – and this is really early Juice, so it’s not like he’s mastered his style of emo-reminiscent self-loathing and painful, drug-induced relationship ramblings. It’s not even as catchy as Juice would start to be later on, so it is just a primitive version of whatever Juice’s sound would end up being. Sadly, we won’t get more development from the guy other than these cheap releases, and if benny blanco guided Juice more into a lane he’s comfortable with and more importantly, Juice was still alive, this could be an example of something great yet to flourish but since his incomplete discography of disposable output is all we have to evaluate, it makes Juice’s work much more difficult to appreciate, especially posthumously, where every throwaway bar about substance abuse has this haunting, unnerving impact it didn’t have before. Oh, and I really like the first verse, which is just aimless flexing but with more charm than he usually has, and with some promises of extra detail he could have gone into, before of course, it switches onto a different topic, an issue plaguing much of the man’s work. In conclusion, the song is fine but I don’t think I can listen to Juice’s work, complete or incomplete, released when he was alive or scrambled posthumously, without feeling sad or just having this contempt for the yes-men who surrounded him. Rest in peace, Juice.

#67 – “Oh Santa!” – Mariah Carey

Remixed by Ariana Grande and Jennifer Hudson

Produced by Scott M. Riesett, Marc Shaiman and Daniel Moore II

“Oh Santa!” is an original Christmas tune Mariah Carey wrote and released with Jermaine Dupri in 2010, for her second Christmas album, aptly titled Merry Christmas II You. The song wasn’t a success, and it couldn’t live up to “All I Want for Christmas is You”, which is fine. We don’t need more Mariah Carey songs in the Christmas canon if we already have an absolutely perfect one at the top of the charts, but if she wants to start flooding the market, I guess it’s best to do it with two experts at vocals, because for her little Apple TV Christmas special, she’s bought along Jennifer Hudson and Ariana Grande for whatever the triple version of a duet is. I assumed this would have been a returning entry because it’s a remix but the original never charted in the UK so I’ll have to talk about both here, and, well, there’s a reason “All I Want for Christmas is You” has never been replicated in terms of success and just sheer quality. I talked about this on my best list but there’s never been a song I feel is so ubiquitous of modern Christmas in the current millennium than “All I Want for Christmas is You”, an outright rejection of festive commercialism in preference of just having her significant other around for the holidays. “Oh Santa!” has a similar presence, but in this one, Mariah Carey’s asking for Santa Claus himself to wrap her crush in wrapping paper and gift it to her for Christmas, with a lot less of the warm intimacy of the classic song and without any of the charm. The 2010 version has this really gross drum machine and a lot of cheerleader-type chanting and clapping that starts off as really ugly – and the chanting still is – but honestly makes a pretty good backing for Mariah sliding over the beat with vocals that may not be as impressive as her best but are just as smooth as they should be over a more coy, low-key festive instrumental. My main issue with it is pace because whilst it is a short song, and she does treat us to some whistle notes and runs by the end, it just fades out and the instrumental doesn’t feel like it goes anywhere, making this song sound slow as all hell. If anything, this remix sounds dated, especially with the more modern vocal production with Ariana Grande and Jennifer Hudson, both in a constant struggle with Mariah for getting a word in, to the point where Hudson over-sells her belting and Grande is the only voice recognisable enough here that actually works. Half way in, the song completely devolves into a bridge of aimless runs and “harmonising” from everyone with that ugly chanting, seemingly unchanged from the original. Yeah, this isn’t pretty, and if anything is a remix of an older song that needed a lot more updates to make it work in a 2020 context and fits all of these incredible vocalists in. This could have been great with an original song that was completed to flatter everyone, but there’s too many cooks in the Christmas kitchen here and the cookies being made are being overcooked. Sure, let’s go with that analogy. Next.

#59 – “Daily Duppy – Part 1” – Digga D

Produced by AceBeatz

It’s not uncommon for freestyles to chart in the UK, particularly important British hip-hop tastemaker GRM Daily and their “Daily Duppy” freestyles, which have been the break-out moment for many rappers like Aitch or DIgDat because they reach a level of viral fame and attention that music videos can’t do as well, mostly because of the platform just letting them spit bars over usually decent beats. Digga D was actually opposed to doing one and even sparked some kind of feud with GRM Daily but that dried up soon enough for him to provide them with two “Daily Duppy” freestyles on two different beats but with one cold verse each. Only the first part charted here, as you’d expect, but I’ll cover both. The first part, produced by Ace Beats, has a pretty nice pitch-shifted vocal sample quickly abandoned for the same sample pitched differently, and then it comes back, under a pretty messy drill beat, and whilst Digga D’s riding it really well, I find it hard to be convinced by his delivery here, which is either checked-out or edited so heavily it’s bizarre. I mean, I thought this was a freestyle, right? He can just spit bars over the beat and it’ll be fine, but they add all these stuttering effects, ad-libs and censors that censor pointless words like “juice” but keep actual vulgarities completely intact, as well as censoring some locations but not others. It takes me out of the whole verse, honestly, even if some of it is some pretty slick and nice wordplay, with some funny punchlines and the typical pop culture references you can expect from the more lighthearted of UK drill. I know that people like to make references to their guns in ways that make them even more threatening and eerie, but just like 21 Savage calling his Draco a paedophile, I don’t think Digga D saying that he grooms young ethnic minority boys to sell drugs is “hard” or even enjoyable. I just think it’s pretty awful. I said I’d talk about the second part here, but honestly, it’s a lot less interesting, with a more trap-adjacent beat and boring synths instead of the cool vocal sample. Admittedly, it sounds more like a “freestyle”, but he wastes the moment where the beat cuts out by just rapping filler, and the quarantine references are going to date this, so, yeah, whilst I’m impressed by Digga D’s flow switches here, I’m not a fan of really anything else.

Conclusion

There’s not enough here to give an Honourable or Dishonourable Mention, so I’ll just have to give out the big ones... but everything here is mediocre, so I’m left with not a lot of content at all. I guess Best of the Week can go to the late Juice WRLD and benny blanco for “Real Stuff”, almost purely out of respect, even if the song is just listenable. Worst of the Week was really a toss-up, but I think I’ll give it to “Oh Santa!” by Mariah Carey featuring Ariana Grande and Jennifer Hudson for being such a waste of talent and potential. Only time will tell what comes next week, but I predict a busy one with Christmas music, Taylor Swift and hopefully Kid Cudi, but we’ll see really. I’m going to hazard a guess that we’ll get at least two songs from Taylor and only the Skepta track from Cudi, but I think we could easily have three from each. Here’s this week’s top 10:

You can follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for Imanbek fan-girling and thank you for reading, I’ll see you next week!

[aion-rsa]

The Trial of the Chicago 7: Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin Were the Martin and Lewis of the Radical Left

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“You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows,” Bob Dylan intoned on his song “Subterranean Homesick Blues,” influencing a group of young mad bombers to blow against the wind. The group at the center of Aaron Sorkin’s The Trial of the Chicago 7 didn’t blow up bathrooms in federal investigative agencies; they protested bombings, and all other forms of violence, when they stood against authority at the Democratic National Convention in 1968.

The Youth International Party, or Yippies, was non-violent, even if one of the co-founders, Abbie Hoffman (played by Sacha Baron Cohen in the movie), wrote his first radical tract, Fuck the System, under the pseudonym George Metesky, a mad bomber from the 1940s. The other, Jerry Rubin (Jeremy Strong on screen), blew bubbles while dressed as George Washington at his HUAC hearing.

Rubin would go on to beat bongos as part of John Lennon’s morphing street musician crusaders, playing live at political demonstrations across America, while Hoffman was knocked upside the head with the guitar of The Who’s Pete Townshend when he interrupted the band at Woodstock. But Lennon had the last word about Rubin. “I gotta ask you comrades and brothers, how do you treat your own woman back home?” Lennon asked in the song “Power to the People.” He was singing to Rubin.

Abbie Hoffman was a radical. He believed in the redistribution of wealth and power, universal hospital care, and that the richest country in the world should not have homeless people. Radical, said his political enemies. Insane. Crazy like the Flower Power movement he was part of. Flowers don’t power things, oil does. Money does. Blood does.

Hoffman’s contribution to political literature was a guidebook on living free, and the first step was to take the title literally: Steal This Book. By the time Hoffman resurfaced from his years underground as a drug dealing charged fugitive, he expressed his primary concern, and that of many caught up in the insane no-tolerance drug policies of the time, with the book Steal This Urine Test. It didn’t suggest dumping them in the holy water. It waged guerilla warfare on the War on Drugs.

Hoffman was a born outlaw, a duck-tailed, leather jacketed teen rebel looking for a cause. Born Nov. 30, 1936 in Worcester, Massachusetts, he was expelled from Classical High School when a paper he wrote concluded God could not possibly exist, prompting his teacher to call him a Communist punk. Hoffman proved it by jumping the teacher.

Rubin was born July 14, 1938 in Cincinnati. His father was a union organizer. Rubin was one of the leaders of the 1967 anti-war march on the Pentagon. After the heyday of the protest movement, Rubin moved from radical politics to freeing the mind with human potential, although it wasn’t free of charge.

Rubin was a burgeoning businessman, but was also an outlaw at heart. He even died breaking a law. One of the most basic laws almost everyone, regardless of class, color, or creed, thinks nothing of breaking. Rubin died of a heart attack two weeks after being hit by a car while jaywalking. The implications seem almost surreal, but the Yippie movement was filled with ridiculous ways to challenge legal authority.

Well before Rubin’s death in the ‘90s, he was there with Hoffman on Aug. 24, 1967, tossing fistfuls of dollars, real and fake, on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange to protest capitalism. Traders went crazy grabbing at the cash. The NYSE built a wall to stop the unfettered financial fun. The Youth International Party nominated Pigasus, a pig, as its candidate for president in the 1968 election campaign.

The “Chicago Seven” trial, named after Bobby Seale of the Black Panthers was tried separately from the original defendants, was loaded with courthouse street theater. They even wanted to design their own costumes. The first things Rubin, Hoffman, Rennie Davis, David Dellinger, John Froines, Tom Hayden, and Lee Weiner did when they went into trial was to stomp on their judicial robes. When Hoffman got sworn in as a witness, his hand was giving the finger.

The defendants were charged with conspiracy to incite a riot, but they were a riot in court. Sadly, the judge at the bench didn’t get the jokes. Judge Julius Hoffman’s humor went another way. He thought it was fitting to have Seale bound and gagged when he wanted to be tried separately, and didn’t like to be heckled. The giddy group of mischievous militants were cited for contempt over 200 times.

The Chicago Seven Trial saw the appearances of “cultural witnesses” like Allen Ginsberg, Phil Ochs, Arlo Guthrie, and Norman Mailer. Hoffman gave a speech saying if Abraham Lincoln were alive and in Chicago during the convention, he would have been arrested in Lincoln Park. When he was being sentenced, Hoffman offered to hook the judge up with an LSD dealer he knew.The U.S. 7th Circuit Court of Appeals overturned the Chicago Seven convictions, cited errors by Judge Hoffman and criticized his courtroom demeanor. The Walker Commission, which investigated the disruption at the Chicago Democratic Convention, concluded it was a “police riot.”

The old guard Left was also lacking in its sense of humor. The militant youth movement, hippies, self-proclaimed freaks and Free Speech movers, were merry pranksters. Diehard socialists fought with placards, bricks, and feet. Hoffman tried to levitate the Pentagon. Was it childish? The demonstration would have heard noted baby-rearing author Dr. Benjamin Spock speak about the importance of protecting children of any age. The protesters were met by soldiers of the 82nd Airborne Division. With poet Allen Ginsberg leading Tibetan chants behind him, Hoffman telepathically tuned in and declared the Vietnam War would end when the Pentagon started to vibrate and turn orange. 

The Youth International Party had no official membership or leadership. Before the Yippie movement, Rubin ran as the radical candidate for mayor of Berkeley, on a platform of exposing his opponent’s racist hiring policies. Hoffman was involved with the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee (SNCC) and a radical community-action group called the Diggers, who kicked him out for being a media junky. Abbie published a book blowing “the hustle of every poor person on the Lower East Side,” according to Peter Coyote.

Following the trial, Rubin wrote the books Do It! and We Are Everywhere, which made him think he was a rock star. He appeared with Lennon, Yoko Ono, Bobby Seale, Ralph Nader, Chuck Berry, and George Carlin on The Mike Douglas Show. Until the end of his career, Douglas maintained that was the most interesting week of his entire career.

On Aug. 28, 1973, Hoffman was arrested in New York City for trying to sell $36,000 worth of cocaine. He said he was set up and entrapped. He jumped bail in 1974 and vanished, occasionally popping up to remind police he’d disappeared. Turns out he was actually working for the rock magazine Crawdaddy! as a travel writer under the name Barry Freed and had his face rendered unrecognizable by plastic surgery.  He surrendered to authorities in 1980, but not until after he taped an interview with Barbara Walters for ABC’s 20/20. He received a one-year sentence but was released after four months.

In the late ‘70s, Rubin discovered seminar training with est and sold a nutritional drink called Wow, which had plenty of kelp, ginseng and bee pollen. Bobby Seale was one of his salesmen. Having broken down the $20,000 financial firewall constructed after the fistfuls-of-dollars stunt, Rubin returned to Wall Street in the 1980s decade of greed and trickle-down voodoo economics. At first, he claimed he was trying to bring some consciousness to the spiritual center of capitalism. But then he sold his soul for a three-piece suit and became a broker. He opened Business Networking Salons, Inc., hosting parties at Studio 54, and said he was part of a real American revolution. Rubin and Hoffman went on a speaking tour giving public debates about yuppies versus Yippies.

Read more

Movies

The Trial of the Chicago 7 Ending: What Happened Next?

By David Crow

Movies

Aaron Sorkin: Donald Trump Made The Trial of the Chicago 7 Movie Possible

By David Crow

Rubin took to the “Me Generation” with the same fervor he had with the cultural revolution of the 1960s. He embarked on an inner revolution, eating carrots until he turned orange. He also atoned for his misogynist past by discussing his own sexual shortcomings in the 1980 book The War Between the Sheets, which he wrote with his wife, commodities futures trader Mimi Leonard.

Rubin could afford it, he had by this time become a multimillionaire, having invested in Apple Computer. Hoffman never bit the apple, continuing in the tradition of American civil disobedience whether it came to saving trees from deforestation or Third World Countries from the U.S. intelligence community. One embraced the unfettered financial social coup, the other was disgusted with the anti-capitalist complacency of Reagan America.

Hoffman made a cameo appearance playing himself in Oliver Stone’s Born on the Fourth of July, the story of anti-war activist Ron Kovic. Rubin would have been quite comfortable as himself in Stone’s Wall Street, the embodiment of the “Greed is Good” mentality.

Hoffman was arrested In November 1986, along with Amy Carter, the daughter of former President Jimmy Carter, for trespassing at the University of Massachusetts Amherst to protest CIA recruitment on its campus. The federal district trial which followed exposed CIA involvement in Nicaragua, along with decades of illegal covert activities.

Hoffman was found dead in his apartment, on April 12, 1989, in an apparent suicide. When Abbie died, Jerry was the only Chicago conspiracy defendant at the funeral. “I used to say, ‘Don’t trust anyone over 30,’” Rubin told a reporter in his financially fatter latter years. “Now I say don’t trust anyone under 50.” Abbie maintained the ideals of his youth, but found far fewer dividends.

The pair were happy to be the “clowns for peace” Lennon called himself during his and Yoko’s honeymoon protest. They brought the generational divide closer together by exposing the ridiculous nature of the divisions. Aaron Sorkin’s The Trial of the Chicago 7 sets out to capture all three rings of the circus of political justice. Rubin and Hoffman were masters of ceremonies in the most unceremonious of ways.

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[ahmerjohnny-blog]

Smile Quotes Sayings For Her And Him

https://latestquoteswala.com/smile-quotes-sayings/

Smile Quotes Sayings For Her And Him

Looking for the great smile quotes? You’ve come to the right place. Check out the following listing of the humorous, adorable and exquisite quotes and sayings on smiling. However, we have collected Smile Quotes Sayings For Her And Him Amazing Collection.

Smile Quotes And Sayings

Smile Quotes And Sayings

“We can always smile, but that doesn’t mean that our hearts are not shedding tears.” (Smile Quotes And Sayings)

“All people smile in the same language.” (Smile Quotes And Sayings)

“And the smile that is worth the praises of earth is the smile that shines through tears.” – Ella Wheeler Wilcox

“Smile, even if it’s a sad smile because sadder than a sad smile is a sadness of not knowing how to smile.” (Smile Quotes And Sayings)

Check: Funny Friend Quotes Beautiful Collection

“I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection.” – Leonardo da Vinci (Smile Quotes And Sayings)

“I have witnessed the softening of the hardest of hearts by a simple smile.” – Goldie Hawn

“When someone is in a bad mood, look them in the eyes and tell them to smile. They will always smile and cheer up a bit.” (Smile Quotes And Sayings)

“I’m really exciting. I smile a lot, I win a lot, and I’m really sexy.” – Serena Williams

“I want to touch the heart of the world and make it smile.” – Charles de Lint (Smile Quotes And Sayings)

“Remember even though the outside world might be raining, if you keep on smiling the sun will soon show its face and smile back at you.” – Anna Lee

“Smile, for everyone lacks self-confidence and more than any other one thing a smile reassures them.” – Andre Maurois (Smile Quotes And Sayings)

“Youth smiles without any reason. It is one of its chiefest charms.” – Thomas Gray

“Sometimes people have to cry out their tears to make room for a heart full of smiles.” (Smile Quotes And Sayings)

Best Smile Quotes And Sayings

“I never smile unless I mean it.” – Donny Osmond

“I love those random memories that make me smile.” (Smile Quotes And Sayings)

“Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.” – Mother Teresa

Smile Quotes

“A smile is the universal welcome.” – Max Eastman (Smile Quotes)

“Here’s wishing you the smiles o’ life and not a single grumble.” – Irish Blessing

“You haven’t lost your smile at all, it’s right under your nose. You just forgot it was there.” (Smile Quotes)

“Look back, and smile on perils past.” – Walter Scott

“There is no weapon in the feminine armory to which men are so vulnerable as they are to a smile.” – Dorothy Dix (Smile Quotes)

“Colors are the smiles of nature.” – Leigh Hunt

Read: Kevin Gates Quotes Huge Collection

“A smile is the chosen vehicle of all ambiguities.” – Herman Melville (Smile Quotes)

“Children learn to smile from their parents.” – Shinichi Suzuki

“A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.” (Smile Quotes)

“Nobody needs a smile so much as the one who has none to give. So get used to smiling heart-warming smiles, and you will spread sunshine in a sometimes dreary world.” – Lawrence G. Lovasik

“Smile. Have you ever noticed how easily puppies make human friends? Yet all they do is wag their tails and fall over.” – Walter Anderson (Smile Quotes)

“Never regret something that once made you smile.” – Chinese Proverb (Smile Quotes)

Smile Quotes

“It is impossible to persuade a man who does not disagree, but smiles.” – Muriel Spark

“Don’t cry for a man who’s left you; the next one may fall for your smile.” – Mae West (Smile Quotes)

“You’ll find that life is still worthwhile if you just smile.” – Charlie Chaplin

Smile Quotes For Her

“7 billion smiles and yours is my favorite.” (Smile Quotes For Her)

“Your smile is your logo, your personality is your business card, how you leave others feeling after having an experience with you becomes your trademark.” (Smile Quotes For Her)

“A smile is the best makeup any girl can wear.” – Marilyn Monroe

“Your smile is the prettiest thing you’ll ever wear.” (Smile Quotes For Her)

“Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.”

“Never underestimate the importance of having a person in your life who can always make you smile.” (Smile Quotes For Her)

“Worry less, smile more. Don’t regret, just learn and grow.”

“Once smile can start a friendship. One word can end a fight. One person can change your life.” (Smile Quotes For Her)

Read: Baby Boy Quotes Awesome Collection For Mommy And Daddy

“Making one person smile can change the world. Maybe not the whole world but their world.” (Smile Quotes For Her)

“Smiling doesn’t necessarily mean you’re happy. However, sometimes it just means you are strong.”

“Smile and let everyone know that today you’re a lot stronger than you were yesterday.” (Smile Quotes For Her)

“Everyone should smile. Life really isn’t that serious. We make it hard. The sun rises. The sunsets. However we just tend to complicate the process.” “Smile! Happiness looks gorgeous on you!”

“By the way, I’m wearing the smile you gave me.” (Smile Quotes For Her)

“There is always a reason to smile, you just have to find it.”

“Use your smile to change the world, don’t let the world change your smile.” (Smile Quotes For Her)

“Use your smile to change the world; don’t let the world change your smile.”

Smile Quotes For Her

“Smile! It increases your face value.” Robert Harling

“I can sing and dance. I can smile – a lot.” – Chris Colfer (Smile Quotes For Her)

“Smiling is my favorite exercise.”

Smile Quotes For Him

“When I look out at the people and they look at me and they’re smiling, then I know that I’m loved. That is the time when I have no worries, no problems.” – Etta James (Smile Quotes For Him)

“Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.” (Smile Quotes For Him)

“Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. However, if you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that’s beautiful.” – Rashida Jones (Smile Quotes For Him)

  “I think that anybody that smiles automatically looks better.” – Diane Lane (Smile Quotes For Him)

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

Check: I Love You So Much Quotes Best Collection For True Lovers

“Always keep your smile. That’s how I explain my long life.” – Jeanne Calment (Smile Quotes For Him)

“If I can see the pain in your eyes then share with me your tears. However, if I can see the joy in your eyes then share with me your smile.” – Santosh Kalwar

“What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but scattered along life’s pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.” – Joseph Addison (Smile Quotes For Him)

“Smile in the mirror. However, do that every morning and you’ll start to see a big difference in your life.” – Yoko Ono

“A smile is happiness you’ll find right under your nose.” – Tom Wilson (Smile Quotes For Him)

“If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.” – Andy Rooney

Smile Quotes For Him

“A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles.” – William Hazlitt

“Smile, it’s free therapy.” – Douglas Horton (Smile Quotes For Him)

“It’s so hard not to smile.” – Zoe Sugg

“You’ve got to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you’ve got.” (Smile Quotes For Him)

Smile Quotes Funny

“I like to smile. I smile even when I’m nervous since it calms me down and shows my friendliness.” – Yani Tseng

“Let my soul smile through my heart and my heart smile through my eyes, that I may scatter rich smiles in sad hearts.” – Paramahansa Yogananda (Smile Quotes For Him)

“My children are the reason I laugh, smile and want to get up every morning.” – Gena Lee Nolin

“People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.” – Lee Mildon (Smile Quotes For Him)

  “The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.” – Thomas Paine

“We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do.” – Mother Teresa (Smile Quotes For Him)

Read: I Miss You Quotes For Him Updated Collection

“I get home and my son is smiling or he comes running to me. However, it has just made me grow as an individual and grow as a man.” – LeBron James

“A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside.” – Denis Waitley (Smile Quotes For Him)

“Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.” – Jim Beggs

“A smile is like an instant facelift and an instant mood lift.” – Christie Brinkley (Smile Quotes For Him)

“Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don’t get so worked up about things.” – Kenneth Branagh

“Most smiles are started by another smile.” – Frank A. Clark (Smile Quotes For Him)

Smile Quotes Funny

“I never get tired of smiling. I’m just the kind of guy who likes to smile.” – Jason Ritter

“A body smiles, like, 72 times a day. Where does that smile go? That’s what I want to know.” – Goldie Hawn (Smile Quotes For Him)

“We all have our down days, but it’s not hard to smile and say, ‘Thank you.’ – Yvette Nicole Brown

Smile Quotes Tumblr

“I eat every two hours. I sleep for eight hours. Also, I have lots of water. However, I pray to keep calm. Most importantly, I have a smile on my face.” – Vidya Balan

“After my husband, John Lennon passed away, I tried to smile for my health.” – Yoko Ono (Smile Quotes For Him)

“If you cannot smile when you listen to music, then do not listen to it!” – Estelle

“I just want to show the fans my big smile and play the game that I love.” – Yani Tseng (Smile Quotes For Him)

  “I think a smile can make your whole body. However, models, they look fabulous, but they don’t smile, and they look so mad.” – Serena Williams

“I get really frustrated if people don’t smile.” – Sophie Ellis-Bextor (Smile Quotes For Him)

Check: Sad Quotes About Love That Make You Cry

“Always wear a smile sometime during the day. However, it makes you feel happier and looks younger.” – Kylie Bax (Smile Quotes For Him)

“Everyone looks so much better when they smile.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Always wear a smile because you never know who is watching.” – Gracie Gold (Smile Quotes For Him)

“The coolest part about seeing a girl wear something comfortable is the smile that you can just feel coming through from inside her.” – Kellan Lutz

“It hurts when you have to smile and you don’t want to smile, but the best thing to do is to smile.” – Mary J. Blige (Smile Quotes For Him)

“I enjoy jokes, smiling, and making people smile.” – Tim Duncan

Smile Quotes Tumblr

“I wake up every morning literally with a smile on my face, grateful for another day I never thought I’d see.” – Dick Cheney

“Smiling is very important. If we are not able to smile, then the world will not have peace.” – Nhat Hanh (Smile Quotes For Him)

“Nothing you wear is more important than your smile.” – Connie Stevens

Latest Smile Quotes

“Dare, dream, dance, smile, and sing loudly! And have faith that love is an unstoppable force!” – Suzanne Brockmann (Latest Smile Quotes)

“Wear a smile — one size fits all.”

“One smile can’t change the world, but your smile changes to mine.”

“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.” – Phyllis Diller (Latest Smile Quotes)

  “A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you’re at home.” (Latest Smile Quotes)

“If you’re reading this… Congratulations, you’re alive. If that’s not something to smile about, then I don’t know what is.” – Chad Sugg, Monsters Under Your Head

“Smile at strangers and you just might change a life.” – Steve Maraboli

“All the statistics in the world can’t measure the warmth of a smile.” – Chris Hart (Latest Smile Quotes)

Check: Awesome Quotes About Losing Friends That Make You Cry

“A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity freshen into smiles.” – Washington Irving

“Nothing shakes the smiling heart.” – Santosh Kalwar (Latest Smile Quotes)

“You’ve got to S-M-I-L-E To be H-A-P-P-Y” – Shirley Temple Black

“Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody’s heart.’ – Anthony J. D’Angelo (Latest Smile Quotes)

“I was smiling yesterday, I am smiling today and I will smile tomorrow.Simply because life is too short to cry for anything.” – Santosh Kalwar

“If you don’t start out the day with a smile, it’s not too late to start practicing for tomorrow.” (Latest Smile Quotes)

“My children and my husband make me smile. My work makes me smile.” – Victoria Beckham

“Allowing yourself to smile takes 99% of the effort.” – Simon Travaglia

Latest Smile Quotes

“I wake up each and every day with a smile on my face knowing I get to do something musically.” – Two Chainz (Latest Smile Quotes)

“The bat is gone, but the smile remains.” – Willie Stargell (Latest Smile Quotes)

New Smile Quotes

“Show me a smile, and I’ll show you one back.” – Vanilla Ice

“If you don’t have a smile, I’ll give you one of mine.” (New Smile Quotes)

“Smile. It instantly lifts the face, and it just lights up the room.” – Christie Brinkley

“Share your smile with the world. It’s a symbol of friendship and peace.” – Christie Brinkley (New Smile Quotes)

  “I just want to make people smile.” – Julie Garwood (New Smile Quotes)

“A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it’s a fake one.” – Masashi Kishimoto

“It only takes a split second to smile and forget, yet to someone that needed it, it can last a lifetime.” – Steve Maraboli (New Smile Quotes)

Read: Im Sorry Quotes Beautiful Collection For Your Loved Ones

“Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

“You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.” – Al Capone (New Smile Quotes)

“I hoped I could make people smile and laugh and have a good time.” – Carson Kressley

“I wake up every day with a smile on my face.” – Henry Ian Cusick

“People smile at me as if they know me. I just smile back. However, they probably might know me.” – Jim Broadbent (New Smile Quotes)

New Smile Quotes

“And then he gives me a smile that just seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me.” – Suzanne Collins (New Smile Quotes)

“If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. However, don’t be surly at home, however, go out in the street and start grinning ‘Good morning’ at total strangers.” – Maya Angelou

“When you have to work, work with a smile.” – Kapil Dev (New Smile Quotes)

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#Cards #Card #Sports #Jersey #Deals #city #relax #boy #night #streetstyle #light #findhappy #sadness #luckyme #partyhard #longway #admin #meme #quote #quotes

[moonraccoon-exe]

What is your most favorite song in the history of forever?! ♡♡♡♡ *gives a basket of grapes and fresh cooked waffles and floofy Gladnis plushies*

*GASPS*

*while laughing* But why do you make me choose only one!?! 

Hahahaha, buddy that’s impossible! I don’t know if it’s possible for you hoomans but moon raccoons can’t have only one most favorite in the history of forever, there’s just so much amazing music!!

Okay, I’m going to try and list the LESS as possible but I’m not sure how this will turn, hahaha

But have a list of, if not my most favorites in the history of forever, at least some of my eternal favorites that I hope I find again in my next life!

Divine Fire - Takeharu Ishimoto (Final Fantasy Type-0)

I found this one recently, but it has VERY QUICKLY (so quickly it ran faster than The Flash) grown into one of my absolute favorites out of my eternal favorites.

It sounds like fire, courage, and war. That’s basically Type-0!

The powerful choir, the strings, everything is wonderful of it. 

A Song of Storm and Fire - Yuki Kajiura (Tsubasa Chronicles)

UNGH. Female choir + solo singer. Oboe solo. The absolute air of magic, battle, magic, immense power, and more magic? YES. This one gave me a major scene in my original project and it’s one of my fave scenes, so it’s got a double-special place in my kokoro.

The Wizard’s Last Rhymes - Rhapsody of Fire

HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNFG ABSOLUTE YES. This one too gave me a major scene in my original project and it’s one of my fave scenes, so it’s got a double-special place in my kokoro. As music itself, it’s absolutely brilliant. They used the New World’s Symphony by Dvorak as main base, but added to it power metal and great lyrics with a fantasy story? Eternal fave.

2nd movement from the 7th Symphony - Ludwig Van Beethoven

UNGH. The dark aura, the power, the crescendo. I’ve always loved it, adore to imagine so many things with this one (usually my original villain’s villain speech :p). I orgasmed when this unexpectedly started sounding in the theatre during X-Men: Apocalypse.

La Follia - either by Corelli or by Vivaldi

I CANNOT CHOOSE A FAVORITE VERSION.

I think music-wise I prefer Vivaldi’s, but as Corelli’s was the first I knew and has a pretty color, I can’t pick objectively :p

Alumina - Nightmare (Death Note’s first ending)

Howl’s Moving Castle - Joe Hisaishi

DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED

Sekai No Yakusoku (Promise of the world) - Yumi Kimura/Joe Hisaishi

*eternally sobbing*

 Memory of the Wind - Nobuo Uematsu (Final Fantasy III)

My first Final Fantasy ever. :)

As soon as the intro came in with this brilliant 2/4 with lovely orchestra, I fell in love with it. It gives out such an INTENSE and COMPLETE sensation of ADVENTURE and magic, I love it so dearly!

Jesus of Suburbia - Green Day

*SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH* THIS WILL  NEVER IN HISTORY EVER GET OLD, DAMMIT

Ensei - Yuki Kajiura

This too help me majorly with my original project and I’m *dreamy sigh* just so in love with this one…I keep this one very jealously, but jealously is bad, so go ahead. Feels a bit intimate sharing this one but eeeh :)

I cannot choose between Royal Blood or World in Flames by Lin (凛)

Sorry ‘bout quality and beware headphone users). App maybe due to copyright there’s not much in the net to find from Lin, and these are the only I found of the songs in YT

Somnus - Yoko Shimomura

This makes me feel so much…not “many things”, just so much…

Ardyn - Yoko Shimomura

Everyone seemsto love Ardyn II so much more, but honestly THE FIRST ONE SLAYS ME.I drop everything I’m doing and just focus on the entire piece whenever it comes up. Sick, twisted, the use of strings and everything is just ridiculously great.

I don’t think anybody understand how much I love that one hnfgnd

Honestly I’d add like half the FFXV OST here, have you heard a greater OST omfg Yoko completely outdid everyone and herself and she’s my goddess of music

Blues in Velvet Room - Shoji Meguro (Persona 3)

HHHNFNGFNGF *eargasms*

These aren’t part of the eternal favorites, but as an extra I add:

Survival - Muse

Danza Di Fuoco e Ghiaccio - Rhapsody of Fire.

Song for Sara - Greg Baker 

And maybe because I found it recently and I have that earworm, but

Waltz No. 5 from Ashita no Nadja (the music box ver. Checkit out too)

I do have an absolute, eternal favorite song…it’s harp. But that I do am…keeping to myself aaah(*ﾉ▽ﾉ)

Papa’s and I’s song has always been Stand by Me (original by Ben E. Kingston) but I won’t include it here cause DATS PERSONAL ヽ(´﹏‵)ノ

And I absolutely sure I’m forgetting something V E R Y important because that’s what always happens to me.¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

But there you go, some of my eternal faves and how DARE you ask me for only a top no. 1!?!?! IMPOSSIBLE, music is GREAT! 

GOS THIS WAS FUN TO ANSWER

EDIT: DUDE, I forgot to answer to what you’re giving me, IT’S GRAPES!!?!?! AND WAFFLES!?!?! AND FLUFFEH GLADNIS PLUSH TOYS!?!?!

THIS

IS 

HEAVEEEEEEN

*TAKES ALL THE STUF AND RUNS*

*IS SO EXCITED COON STUMBLES ON ITS OWN TAIL*

I’M GOING TO SQUEEZE THE PLUSH TOYS AND NEVER LET GO AND I’LL EAT ALL THESE GRAPES AND WAFFLES AND AAAWMAN BEST DAY EVUR, I’m gonna go make the plushies kiss each other excuse me I’ll be busy all day now

[pendulum-sonata]

Day 4 - Side Effects

Arc V Anniversary!

Prompt: Aftermath (AO3)

Words:726

“You’re late!” She yelled to the newcomer as soon as he got within hearing range. “What took you so long?” Yuzu asked to him tapping her foot onto the floor, he was twenty-five minutes late, her nerves were crumbling away and she was beginning to regret this decision already.

“Well, excuse me, you try to sneak out of Yuya’s house without stepping into some animal’s tail, waiting for Yuya to get out of the bathroom or being offered some refreshments as a lowly trick to get information out of you.” Sora said stocking out his tongue to her.

Instead of taking the bait, she pointed at the huge chocolate he was eating and with her best deadpan voice she said:

“Yes, I can see it was so hard for you to resist temptation.” Sora seemed to have forgotten that it was in his mouth and he quickly attempted to hide it but Yuzu took his hand and took his treat away.

“Hey! Give it back! You have no idea how much that costs!” He yelled and almost took it from her but she was quicker dangling it above his head.

Sora was not the only one going through a growth spurt.

“I know it cost you nothing, because you probably convinced Yoko-san to give it to you” Yuzu stopped to give him a knowing look at Sora, who just grumbled under his breath. “I’ll give it back to you once we’re done.”

Afterward they walked for a while to the park, until Yuzu found a relatively empty place where they could get down to business.

“Is this about Serena again?” Sora asked sighing. “I already told you everything I know about her, she wasn’t exactly outgoing and is not like the Professor allowed her to wander around all that much.”

“Is not just about her, it’s about all of them.” Yuzu said. “Is just... I thought the feeling of overflowing memories, feelings... all kinds of stuff would eventually fade, that somehow we’d just end up...” She trailed off, no knowing how finish the sentence.

“Fusioned?” Sora asked.

“That’s... one way to put it.” Yuzu admitted. “But I don’t know I feel so... selfish.”

“Selfish?” He repeated once and she knew his eyes wandered off to her wrist, empty now. “Is it because only you came back?”

“Maybe? I mean I know this is something Yuya could help me about, but... he has the dragons you know? I’ve heard him talking with them through these cards, I can’t do that it’s like this endless... banging in my mind and I can’t do anything about it and just want it stop.”

“You want your old life back.” It wasn’t a question and Sora didn’t expect an answer. “Have you ever thought about asking Reiji?”

“Reiji Akaba? What does he have to do with this?” Yuzu asked surprised, if she was quite honest she had not spared a thought about him in a quite a while.

“Dunno? Maybe that fact that Reira will probably experience something similar in the future, weren’t both Zarc and Ray inside of him now? Maybe he can even help you all to...” The way he moved his finger as if to break something would be hilarious in any other situation.

“I think it’s a baby girl now, and the Nature Cards are gone.” She reminded him.

“Whatever, do you really think the Reiji we know will have done nothing by then? Yuya created the Pendulum cards out of thin air and Reiji still found a way to make his own.” Sora asked. “If you ask him I’m sure he’ll help you, and if you ask me his family own you a big deal, you could at least ask him for some compensation you know? Then maybe we can finally remodel Yushow Duel School”

The way he smiled at saying that ridiculous thing was her undoing and they both burst into laughter, the type that made her belly hurt and her cheeks ache, before she finally calmed down.

“That’s not nice....Reiji is not at fault for his father’s mistakes.” She said after wiping her eyes.

“Tch, you take the fun out of everything.” Sora said a bit out of breath. “Hey, if you need someone to go an intimidate them with, you know you can always count with the All Mighty Teacher right?”

“I know.”

[letsriddlemethislucifer]

Jewel - Misfortunate || Drabble

 --- Life is sad. Living is painful. A home isn’t as warm as you think it to be.

       Why is it that when you flip a coin, it’s either heads or tails? Life or death? Fortune or Misfortune? If it’s a metaphor of a person’s birth and their living environment, Atsuko would have to say she was born with misfortune. 

Sure, her mother and father had been quite wealthy, but it didn’t mean anything to her. Arranged marriages always end up this way, for money and for genetics. That’s what had made her, that’s all that was for her, to be a decoration and run the family business of fine alcohol or jewelry.

Her father was all too invested in parties, get together, and business meetings. He would show her off like a prize, dress her in expensive dresses and sold or punish her if she was either out of line or had her clothes dirtied. Speak when spoken to, never ruin your etiquette, always eat as little as possible to remain petite. Never cry, never show your weaknesses, and never embarrass him. If the other children ask you to play, abide by their rules and games so to make a better impression on their parents. Your life is controlled, monitored, and must always be perfect. And no matter how long father leaves for a trip or drunken ordeal, never call him and learn to live on your own in the mansion.

Her mother, as distant as she was, wasn’t as cruel as her father was. She learned to always be kind, to listen, to ask questions when you are curious, and to walk with your head held high. She wasn’t always able to see her mother, but when she did it was filled with precious memories, no matter how brief they were. A simple hug, holding hands, a kiss on the head or the cheek..even going to the jewelry stores her mother owned so to be with her.

With her mother..She felt safe. She felt at home. With her mother, she was okay with hearing her real name.

                       It was okay to hear her real name..so she just asked her mother one more time if she could see her. Just one more time. So they waited at the mall for Atsuko to arrive after school. 

                That day, it was raining. It was pouring, even. 

                     So why

    why were there flames even though water was pouring from the skies?

Why was such a big building, that had been carefully cared for, in shambles?

      Why were there a lot of officers, even a few fire trucks-- Why was there so much noise around her? It was raining, right? But why couldn’t she hear the droplets hit the pavement?

{{ Death certificate }} Name: Atsuko Nanami

Age: 31

Birthday: April 2nd

Time of death: 5:30 pm

Cause of death: Gas leak in Tokyo mall

Business:  ℐ ♢ J ℇ w ℇ l  ◆ All That Shimmers is Yours  

Family:

Husband -  Jirou

 Daughter -Atsuko Ryoko

[medea10]

My Review of WWW.Working

[tesscsanders-blog]

No Need

FREE WRITE AT DAWN IMAGINE A TWITTER PAGE KEPT BY GOD  THERE IS NO NEEED

God is without the kind of communication

that requires it. God’s voice is automatic and omnipresent it is rich truth below the other waves of sound. my gratitude is true. My aim is true and my high power is leading me where I am meant to go. I have known the difficulty of stringing words together.

How screenshots tell stories

How I search for TRAUMA

seek to define PORTENT

How the Lord is my light and my help, so whom shall I fear? How I get up and say “I’m ready”

I find proof and reminders of gratitude. I find encouragement humble and stoned. I find typos in wedding vows. Is this interesting content? Yes, Tess yes yes it is very interesting.

You are so beautiful.

HE WANTS ME TO SAY IT  remember the sun inside of me in Danville

I will have that sun again flowing up my vagina, that orgasm. The cellulite kissing dawn I saw the sun rise once and I lived to tell the tale  At the tail end is this exquisite dropping in,

how cool

the internet, how lucky, the living!

How blessed is my maker whom Phaedra prays for, too. The extent of my freedom is the extent to which I am willing to be not understood

Not understood  when I am not legible what happens?

This wrenching this wretched second-guessing and third helpings;  I have

belabored the metaphors of grief buffets

pretty sure I coined the term

grief buffet

is it a term of art?

a new business franchise?

People are ready for that kind of honesty, honestly, they are, even if they do not know it intellectually yet…. it’s all Grace, but especially the unbecoming

Am I doing this right? Yes. Less less less less more more more more more gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme some of that green sugar stuff it in there mmm mmmm ooohhh ohhhh deeper harder faster slower oh yeah just like that that’s right deeper this orgasm will save humanity this orgasm will right all of the wrongs mmmmm uhhhuh that’s the spot the redemption of all human kind right there, yup yeah yum yes that

In truth, the disgust is close to the surface. I am proud of who I am. Voice quaking like Tracy Chapman’s in the live recording of DONT GIVE UP with weird old Peter Gabriel

voice shaking

I think my friends are people. It scares me. I know my friends are human, it terrifies me.

Who are they? I have no idea! Humans as they are, they are foreign all the way. More alien than Foreigner mixed up in my psyche like the Greeks at the crux of breaking all of this up, are we? Once and for all

a free write to end all grief?

no thank you!

I know about waves and wires and tunnels and pummeling pummeling pummeling until I’m clenched in the womb. It doesn’t rhyme, but it’s my pain, it’s my loss, my potential my light to shine  BE KIND REWIND in my opinion not such a good film

when I realized ariana was following franky o the path of less resistance all-capsing the names of poems instead of italicizing

interrupting my flow state to call my sibling my unconscious mind wants their approval so bad wants simultaneously to dishonor their identity shout from the rooftops this isn’t about you sis this ain’t about you cuz it’s about me it’s about meeeee meeeee meeeee meeeeeeeee the way i am deep down convinced some nonbinary people are just flexing egos controversy the give and take of corn flakes replete i am afraid of that content i might delete THAT content

for sure deep sea fishing with sharks i’ve never been how imagination is procrastination a rose by any other name etc

My soul is thirsting for the living God; when shall I see him face to face?

a need greater than water a truth deeper than phishing a spam harder than rock He sank beneath your wisdom like a stone

i’m afraid of hurt feelings hurting feelings causing pain no you’re not, Tess, you have torn up too much to open Photo Booth now. don’t you dare do it. God

grant me the serenity

Once I tell God I won’t do something, I usually don’t do it. exit clause escape routes

pretty sure I didn’t coin the phrase escape valve and that it is a term of art, like the

wind carrier in tommy boy

i mean the

mail shoot

in tommy boy

the wind that blows his boat in the last scene

or is it the

pen

ultimate

scene

wherein tommy is on the water (shit i am gonna cry ) talking to his dad “I could use a little help”

son of a

that’s gonna leave a mark    

i want to leave

a mark            we all do

so badly so needily our fingers

pressed in every ink stamp the well has run so dry and then

though, all of these people i want to be are menstruating while i am not how hungry i am for my own blood  the manifestation of shakti who drinks from her own blood stream

opens her whole head up

this free write will not ‘save’ the world

this free write may even induce carpal tunnel

but i won’t be alone for it

SIC SIC SIC SIC SIC SIC SIC

we’re all so sick

so sick and so sick of the latest and worst and sick of being sick and tired  

la la la

it’s funny, not haha but haha

okay

sure

the way my mind chases its tail around i find myself sitting where i’ve been

cozying up to a mug from SEA WORLD

i have never been

the name elizabeth printed on it

I believe in the Resurrection. i can’t explain it to you and I don’t want to. I believe in the visitation of the angel Gabriel to Mary and I want so badly to be understood by one poet in particular. these minds these minds these minds  to whom I want to prostrate myself

SEE ME SEE ME PLEASE

It is enough, it is finished, I see you, Tessa I see you i see you baby i see you i see you you’re brilliant you are making so much sense you are making so much sense you don’t have to worry about publishing truths or falsehoods because that isn’t what you’re talking about here i relieve you this noose   | lifted |

this is not about political correctness an invention you hate and this is not about bigotry either because we both know you are not a bigot in any direction by any stretch

stretch

stretch

stretch mark of the imagination

cellulite dream we could be heros  just for one day

the need to justify when i said ego flex i meant

how precious our personhood is. when i am high and think only of how, deep down,

my pronouns are

she her he him his

how language  is nothing but everything  bang bang saxophone solo how your mind reading this does a different thing altogether how i bought a blanket 100% acrylic made in Ecuador how what other people think of me

nun of my business

none of my business that’s why I can’t let the right hand know what the left is doing. When I catch on is when the tail snakes back around

how i

felt like

Jessica was passing the torch of menses to me

how much shedding how much shedding

the baby voice,

sweet blessed infantilization of my poor old soul !!!!

{i mean it, Tess, you are flawed if you’re not free. oops that sunk in wrong i don’t blame you, jenny lewis

cat power I DONT BLAME YOU  my ex’s penis is still the sweetest penis that ever played inside my vagina}                                  alone together  a hashtag to build a dream on   give me a hashtag to build a dream on        i miss you God

not for sentimental reasons

but because being ripped from you is too easy to mistake for the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God

in other words, tracing my entrance back to your absence is not the work of my life is not the meat of being but it is easy to make the mistake of seeing the hole as the center when at the center is the Life itself

come on rude boy boy boy is you big enough

come on rude boy boy boy is you big enough

just now  already I nearly broke the no Photo Booth promise funny how quickly that happens EH

EH?

canadian bacon is a john candy film i have never seen    my adverbs of choice

holy

go

lightly

mmmmmm sweet sweet boredom the fear of ending is about the fear of dying? no, that’s not quite it. about the fear of being alone? yes! that’s it, that’s it.  traces back to the fundamental fallacy of Godlessness

of being separate it’s the whole platonic two halves bit

to have and to hold, till death do us part that’s the

traaaa   la la laaa laaaaaa

how can i trust myself without hyperlinks?

don’t let me be understood, God. just for today, grant me the serenity. Don’t let this be understood. Yes, I’m your angel. Yes, the reader does not need to know you’re thinking of a yoko ono song, that you’re worried about not attributing due credit to rihanna, that you have not looked at kim kardashian’s instagram since the

“pandemic”

“began” but that she showed up in your dream last night and that your sibling ‘got into’ with her, lightly, casually, cooly, wearing denim — my sibling was leaning in close to kim kardashian

AND SHE WAS

the tail of my mind is snaking back to ordinary complaints like

WHERE THE HECK ARE MY MISSING ALBUMS

1999

and

LITTLE CREATURES

they’re my favorite and they’re gone gone gone

how much of a new revelation

Janet Jackson’s song any time any place is to me

How inconsistency is at the heart of

not giving too many hoots

in certain contexts how meaning is relative how language is everything

nothing

how Jesus spoke in parables and contradictions how I never liked puzzles  literal ones    but how I walk around like I alone am meant to be solving the deepest puzzle of all

Reconciling myself back to the Source, i mean, to God Godself how a proliferation of healers come out of the woodwork into the email inbox offering discounts during this crisis and

who

am

I to judge?

There is one thing I ask of the Lord,

for this I long,

to live in the house of the Lord,

all the days of my life.

am i his temple? yes, no, maybe so, dawning on me is dish soap   sweet like the night inside

like the beginning of doing nothing

remaining alive. remaining human.

DONT JUST DO SOMETHING

SIT THERE

friends, i am still overwhelmed by your humanity. i find it so threatening, i can’t even begin to tell you. i don’t mean your mortality, moreso the fact that you’re just as deep

just as pulsing

just as curious just as in possession of some heart (human or not; shoutout to my girl elena with a porcine pulmonary valve) as i am

what that amounts is not fear of being not unique but rather that  the belonging we are called to is such a tall order such a tall order such a tall order  drive through window on foot people like memes

the readers in 3408 are like,

what’s a meme?

who can say if they will ‘google’ it?

I doubt the empire will rage that long …. the Empires on adderal the Empire fucking all millennia long on HARDON shoot i  am

not even trying

to be funny i can’t think of the name of that erection drug

i swear all that keeps coming up is PROZAC

leave it in the comments below, what’s that ED drug?  all my life