#getting out of my writing slump lol so if it's bad don't tell me i'll cry

[stargazedwinchester]

Peace | Sam

This is a rewrite of a 10 (yes TEN) year old imagine I wrote back in 2014. If you find the original PLEASE don't tell me, it's horrifically cringy and I have missed writing so bad so I think doing a few of these rewrites will get me out of my slump so I can rejoin the SPN community again <3

I'm so Sam starved it's UNREAL lol!!!!!

I'll start a masterlist for my rewrites, the link will also be on my page :)

Word count: 702

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

These sombre, late October mornings make it almost impossible to wake up as early as you need to be, but sleeping next to Sam makes it even more so.

The wind whistles and blows excessively through the small crack in the window and the motel room is exceptionally smaller than the ones you had been in before, so trying to sleep next to a 6’5 man makes you feel very clammy.

Although you can’t get much sleep nowadays, watching Sam is your favourite pass time. His features remain calm. At peace. Which is out of character for him recently. Being able to witness Sam that tranquil is the best thing you could observe up close.

You had been sharing beds together the past few nights, since Dean snores like a Bulldog with a blocked nose. And the fact that the motels you have been travelling to haven’t had 3 rooms spare at all. The amount of times that Sam has offered to sleep with Dean or even sleep in the armchair is ridiculous, so you had to tell him it’s okay to share a bed together. He insisted, but had eventually given up because he couldn’t get comfy enough in the armchair.

You quietly lay yourself back down so you are eye level with Sam. His breathing is light, but obvious that he’s in a deep sleep. His shoulders rise and fall, a hand tucked underneath his head.

You’ve been on the road with the brothers for quite some time. This started off as doing a favour for them saving you, then them returning the favour for saving them, then… it eventually lead up to you travelling with them and never leaving their side. You all got along surprisingly well after the first encounter you endured. Dean was more than willing to end your suffering after assuming you were in with the bad guys, but after some convincing from Sam, he let you go. It only took one more run in for them to accept your help for their hunt.

You like watching him sleep. The experiences they shared in their daily lives must be exhausting. They both had admitted they’ve done this since they were young, their father forcing them to move city to city every other week because he had an enormous case he was attempting to solve. They spared you the details but admitted that their father passed to save Dean's life. It was heartwarming hearing that, but the rest just makes you feel parental guilt toward them.

You remove the strands of hair that laid astray in front of his face. Not helping yourself, you grazed Sam’s cheek, caressing with your thumb.

Sam groans, his eyes squinting tiredly.

“Morning,” you whisper, a small grin appearing on your face. He smiles back. “What time is it?” He raises his arm up and stretches, exposing his bare chest. His tattoo peaks through the sheet and you can’t help but admire his upper torso. The veins leading up from his hand to his arm are prominent against the early Texas sun.

“It’s six.” You reply, lauding at his features and how they correlate together with the sunlight. He’s gorgeous, obviously, but right now… it’s more obvious than ever. He groans again, pulling the sheets over his face. You giggle, pulling them away. He glances into your eyes, and you stare back. You can’t help but feel a certain way about him. Ever since laying eyes on him when you first met him, you knew he was different. And the way he’s looking at you now makes you feel different.

Sam observes your face, moving down to your lips, then back up to your eyes. He licks his own lips and pauses. “What?” You ask gently, your heart warming at the thought of what’s about to happen. Your cheeks flush crimson as he smirks. “Can I kiss you?” He uttered, and you nod. You move forward and place your hand on his shoulder, moving your hand down to his bicep. Your lips barely touch before you could taste him, your heart fluttering and your stomach turning. He hesitates, but then pulls you in carefully but passionately.

This morning couldn’t get any better.

[beyourlightbaby]

Thank My Lucky Stars

Pairing: bts ot7 × fem reader

Word Count: 2,685

Summary: You're on your period and the boys do everything they can to make you feel better.

Warnings: mentions of menstrual cycle (I honestly dk if periods need warnings? But better safe than sorry), menstrual cramps, reader goes through extreme mood swings but mostly just fluff.

A/N: Honestly, I started my period two days ago and was wishing that I had a bf to take care of me and stuff, and the next thing I knew, this fic wrote itself. It's definitely very self-indulgent lol, and basically everything the reader does is what I've did so far lmao. I hope this fic makes you atleast half as happy as it made me! P.S. It's been a ridiculously long time since I've written, and it's my first time writing for bangtan, so go easy on me!

Today was just another day. You wake up from your bed, feeling fatigued. Ugh, why does my body ache all over, you think to yourself, getting up from the bed as you stretch. You feel the tell tale sign of cramps in your abdomen, but dismiss it immediately, as your period wasn't due for the next two weeks. You brush your teeth and wander out of your room mindlessly, wondering what the boys were up to.

You find Taehyung in the living room, watching TV. “Good morning,” he says with a smile as you flop down on the couch next to him. “morning,” you grunt back. Taehyung, being the cuddly person he is, wraps his arm around you like he usually does, only for you to shrug him off. “Aw, why won't you let me hold you?” he whines, pouting at you. “Sorry Tae, but I'm not feeling good.” “Then it's the perfect time for cuddles! It's bound to make you feel better! C’mere” he says as he drapes himself over you again but you end up wrenching himself out of his grip, looking mad. “I said I wasn't in the mood for cuddles, Taehyung!” You yell at him. Taehyung flinches and looks hurt. Realising what you just did, you thought to yourself, Damn, why did I just snap at Tae like that? He didn't do anything wrong, he was just being his usual self. What's wrong with me? “Tae, I'm sorry-” but before you could finish your sentence Taehyung runs off to his room and slams it shut. You smack yourself for hurting Tae as you slumped back onto the couch.

You just sit there for a while until Hobi tapped you on your shoulder. “Y/N-ah?” You snap out of your thoughts.“What?” you bark at him. “Are you feeling alright?” “Why wouldn't I be?” you ask, slightly irate. “It's just that I went to your room and saw the covers stained.” he says softly. Oh. That's why I've been testy all morning. But it wasn't supposed to arrive until two weeks later! Ugh, I hate this. “I know that you would have cleaned it up already if you had noticed, but since you didn't, I'm assuming you didn't see.” “Yeah” you looked down, embarrassed. “Sorry you had to see that.” Hobi lifts up your chin. “Hey, don't apologise. It's just your period, something which you naturally go through. You don't have to feel bad about it, okay?” You nod. “Good. Now you should probably freshen up. Go to the bathroom, I'll bring you some clothes and a pad. Which one do you need?” “I can get it myself-” Hobi shushes you. “Shower. Now. I'll get you what you need.” “Oh-kaayyyyyy bossy pants.” You give him a mock salute before walking off. He smiles at you, relieved that your period hasn't ruined your sense of humour.

In the bathroom, you turn on the shower and let it wash away all your worries, sighing appreciatively at how good the hot water felt against you. Then you hear a knock. “Y/N? I brought you your stuff.” You momentarily turn off the shower and slightly open the door, to reveal Hobi holding out your clothes, his face promptly averted from the door. You retrieve them from his hand. “Thank you Hobi!” you say and move to close the door, but he stops you. “Wait! You didn't tell me which pad you wanted, and you didn't have any left in your supply either, so I just bought a pack in every variant from your usual brand.” He says, and holds out a bag filled with pad packs of varying types. You find yourself internally going awww at his thoughtfulness, and after picking out what you need, you call out to him. “Hobi?” “Yeah?” “You're the best.” “Aw, it's nothing, Y/N. Now go shower!” He says and runs off, leaving you giggling in his wake.

After a nice hot shower, you change into a comfy hoodie and shorts, feeling significantly better than you did before. But that exact moment your cramps decide to hit you. “Ughhhhh”, you lean against the wall with a groan. Jungkook, who just woke up, spots you and rushes to support you. “Y/N! What happened? Are you alright?” he asks concernedly, wrapping his arms around your shoulders to steady you. “nnnnghhh. Period. Cramps.” you manage to croak out. “Oh no, that sucks,” he says as he gingerly picks you up. “Where do you wanna go?” “Room” you say, and bury your face in his chest. He slowly walks to your room, gently placing you on your bed and tucking you tightly under the covers. As he turns to leave, you grab his hand. “Stay, please? I don't wanna be alone.” He gives you a reassuring smile as he lies down next to you, gently rubbing your back, lulling you slowly to sleep.

You wake up to someone softly pushing your hair out of your face. Blinking open your eyes, you realise it's Jimin. “Hey. Did I wake you up?” “Yeah, but I don't mind. What's the time?” “About 11, I guess.” He kisses your forehead softly. “How are you feeling now?” “A little better, but still sore.” Jimin looks at you sadly, bummed that he can't do anything that'll make your pain go away. But he can distract you from it.

“I brought you something.” He holds out a box that you recognise as one from your favourite bakery. Your eyes light up in delight. “Hobi hyung told me you didn't have breakfast, so I got you your favourite black forest cake.” He opens the box and picking off a piece with a fork, he offers it to you. You eagerly open your mouth and chew it, suddenly realising that you were hungry. He feeds you about two pieces before declaring that was enough or else you wouldn't eat lunch. He wipes away the cake crumbs from your lips and grins widely at the content smile on your face. “What are you grinning at?” you ask him. “Nothing, it's just…. I like seeing you smile.” You blush and duck your head, feeling shy. “I love you, Chim.” you mumble softly. “I love you too, Y/N-ah.” He brings his forehead to yours, booping your nose softly with his.

“Y/N? Are you awake?” You recognise Tae’s voice. “Come in!” Taehyung shuffles into the room, looking uncharacteristically hesitant. Before he could say anything, you start, “Tae, I'm so sorry for snapping at you like that. I swear didn't mean to-” he cuts you off mid sentence by planting a soft kiss on your lips. “It's alright, Jungkookie told me. I understand. You don't have to apologise.” You shake your head. “I do, though. You were hurt and it's my fault. I feel bad about it. Can you forgive me, please?” He giggles, and pats your head. “There's nothing to forgive, silly. I'm not mad at you. I am claiming my cuddles though, Jungkook told me you let him hold you!” You chuckle, “Come here, you big baby.” He moves to get into the bed before stopping. “Oh crap, I forgot why I came here. Jin hyung told me to ask you if you wanna come for lunch or if he should bring it to you. What do you say?” You think for a moment before replying. “You know what, I'm kinda bored of sitting in my room. I'll come! Just gimme a few, I wanna make myself presentable.” Taehyung gives you a once-over. “What do you mean, presentable? You look pretty as always.” “Oh yeah, my ridiculous bedhead and baggy eyes are soooo pretty.” “I don't care, you still look pretty.” You realise he isn't just saying that to make you feel better, but rather that's how you look in his eyes, and your heart melts. “Okay fine, I'm coming. At least let me use the restroom.”

You trudge slowly through the house, Taehyung's hand around your back. Everyone else except Jin is already seated at the table, apparently waiting for you. Their concern is evident in their eyes, but they seem to be content with Taehyung walking with you, so they remain seated.

You settle down in your chair, which you find has some soft pillows placed on it. You look around the table to find Yoongi looking away as soon as you meet his eyes, cheeks turning just a little pink. You smile to yourself, not saying anything. At that moment, Jin comes from the kitchen, bringing out various dishes and sets them on the table, giving you a comforting smile. You catch a whiff of your favourite dishes: kimchi jjigae, samgyeopsal, japchae, fried chicken, along with a pint of chocolate ice cream. “Oh, Jin, you shouldn't have troubled yourself so much!” Jin just smirked. “What makes you think it’s for you? Maybe I just wanted to cook a nice meal.” You pout at him, which makes him chuckle. “Of course I was joking, Y/N-ie. They were specially made for you.” he says with a comforting smile. You sniff slightly, which didn't go unnoticed. Jin, after sitting next to you, places a hand over your thigh and gives it a soft squeeze as if to say, “You're never alone.” You push back the tears and give him a smile. He heaps a good amount of all the dishes on your plate, handing it to you with a wink. You immediately dig into the food, sighing at how delicious they are. “It's official. I think Jin might be my favourite. He surely knows the way to my heart.” you exclaim, only half-joking. You certainly didn't miss the way his ears turned a bright red, a telltale sign that he is flustered. The others pretend to clutch their chest in offence, and you just laugh at them.

After a wonderfully fulfilling lunch, you settle on the couch once more, only to groan when cramps hit you again. “Aish, why does it hurt so much?” you accidentally voice your thoughts out loud. Yoongi, who hears it, fetches some more pillows to place them around so that you can sit down more comfortably. Before you could tell him to sit with you, he walks off. You sigh softly, knowing that he isn't big on openly showing affection. You're surprised though, when you feel someone tap your shoulder, and turn around to find Yoongi. “Hey.” “Hey yourself.”

“I thought this might help with the pain, so I brought you this.” He hands you a hot water bottle. You smile at him, realising that he'd rather show you his love through his actions rather than just being all lovey-dovey. “Thank you, Yoongi.” You wrap your arms around his neck, at which he turns slightly pink, but he hugs you back all the same. “Can I sit with you for a while?” he asked, rubbing his neck. “I thought you'd never ask.” You pull him down onto the couch, leaning into his side.

A few hours later, after Yoongi left, saying that ‘his affection quota for the day has been deplenished’, you are staring into space, debating whether you should go back to bed, when Namjoon walks into the living room, holding a steaming cup of what seems to be chai, guessing from the aroma wafting towards you. “Hey! How come I'm the one who's sick, yet you're the one who gets chai? So not fair!” you say, giving him sad puppy dog eyes. You definitely didn't expect him to stop before you and hand you the cup. “If you had just waited a moment before jumping to conclusions, Y/N-ah, you would have realised that I made this chai for you!” Your eyes widen. “Are you telling me that, you, Kim Namjoon, cooked something, without setting the entire kitchen on fire?!” “Hey!” he looks chagrined, and gives you a soft punch on your arm. “Is that so hard to believe?” he asks. When you just raise your eyebrows in response, he relents. “Fiiiiine, I might have had a little help, but it was my idea, and I did do most of the work! And anyway, it's the thought that counts, right?” “....riiiight. I do appreciate the chai, though.” You take the cup from his hands and take a small, careful sip. “Ahhhh, you definitely did a good job Joon, I love it.” He flashes you his usual dimpled smile, which never fails to set your heart fluttering. You pat the seat next to you. “Sit with me?” “I will, but there's something I have to take care of first,” he says and walks away. You look after him quizzically, wondering what he could have meant.

Moments later, he returns with a couple of blankets, and your favourite book. He plops down next to you, and you automatically rest your head on his lap. He pulls the blankets around you, wrapping you like a burrito. Once he makes sure you're all settled, he starts reading the book out aloud. As much as you loved reading on your own, listening to Namjoon read, in his comforting voice, is something you never get tired of. He softly plays with your hair, just the way you like it, as he reads through the book. You purr like a content cat, feeling warm and satisfied, slowly falling asleep.

When you wake up, it's late in the evening, and you find yourself sandwiched comfortably between Hobi, on whose shoulder your head is resting, and Jin, who's softly massaging your feet. Yoongi and Namjoon are sprawled on either side of Jin and Hobi respectively, eyes glued to the television, but both their hands behind you. You look down to find Taehyung squished between your legs. I guess he claimed that cuddle after all. Jungkook and Jimin rest on either of your knees, fighting with Tae for space.

You look around at them and your heart feels like it might burst out of your chest because you don't know what you must have done in your previous life to find these seven men. You start sniffling without realising, and before long, tears start streaming down your face. Jin notices and immediately wipes away your tears, looking concerned. “Love, what happened? Does it hurt too much?” The rest of the guys turn towards you immediately, their features etched with worry. “I know you usually avoid pills, Y/N, but do you need some right now? They could help.” Namjoon offers. “Maybe you just need another hot water bottle.” Yoongi moves to go to the kitchen but stops when you grab his wrist. “No, no, I feel good and all, it's not that. I'm just…so happy.”

“Eh? Why are you crying then?” Taehyung asks, confused. You sniff, unable to look at them. “It's just, you guys are so unbelievably sweet and loving! No one has ever taken such good care of me before, especially during my period, so I'm a bit overwhelmed, but in a good way. I just don't know what I did to deserve such amazing and wonderful, not one, but seven boyfriends. I don't even deserve you guys.” you start crying all over again.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Hobi rubs your shoulder soothingly. “Don't ever think that you're not worth all this, okay? You deserve everything, sunshine. You're the most beautiful, gentle, kind and caring person we've met, and frankly, we don't know how you manage to put up with all of our chaos!”

“Yes, Y/N, hyung is right! We are the lucky ones!” Jungkook exclaimed, giving you his doe eyes and bunny smile.

“We love you so much, Y/N-ah. Don't you ever forget that.” says Jimin, as he places a kiss on your thigh.

“I love you guys too. So much. You have no idea how much.”

“Oh, I think we have some idea,” Tae says, giving you his signature wink as you laugh and pull all of them into a huge cuddle. You close your eyes and savour the feeling of being surrounded by your loved ones, and thank your lucky stars for bringing them to you.

[kings-highway]

Hiya King! I’ve been making my way through a bunch of your fics recently (they are so good!!) I was wondering about your writing habits. How often do you write? Do you have writing exercises you do or do you mostly just work on fanfiction? How long have you been writing for? I am loving all the stuff of yours that I have read so far, so thank you for posting them~ (hope this wasn’t too many questions lol)

Hiya!!!!! Absolutely A-ok not too many questions at all I love answering questions so much!! I'll try not to ramble on forever and ever in my answer.

1. "How often I write" is a little hard to pin down. First, I need to explain that I have a desk job and I cover night shifts, so I actually do a lot of my writing in the downtime at work (sanctioned by my managers everything is ok it's permitted.) So due to being trapped at a computer screen and keyboard and not being able to leave for multiple hours, I tend to write... a lot more than I might on average. (Pretty sure this is the only reason I did any of the readings for degree ontime lmao). Typically, I am an all-or-nothing writer. If I have a free day, either the whole day is writing, or I don't even look at the document. I sort of go where the muse takes me in that way, which I know doesn't help for taking ideas for your own writing schedule, but it's the truth. I try not to be afraid of the long-quiet periods of writing, I always eventually get back to it.

2. Writing exercises? Fanfiction is my writing exercise! No, for real! Due to the relatively recent boom in people engaging with me and getting to play the role of the fanfiction author more and more it's sort of changing, but the reality is, I consider myself a writer outside of fanfiction more than I do any of my fanfic creations. Fanfiction has always been a writing exercise for me - original worldbuilding, original characters, original everything can be a lot of work, and I've found that writing fanfiction helps me crack out of some of my bad habits. Focus instead on stories, the actual beat and rhythm of my writing, foreshadowing and the actual prose. Of course, in some of my... newer works, my AUs and more fantasy ones this isn't as applicable (The End feels almost more like a standard original novel in terms of work for writing) BUT for me, fanfiction is "easy" - I don't have to decide how the characters act. Their personalities are already set - I don't have to decide the worldbuilding (usually), that was already decided. All I have to do is play in someone else's sandbox, so what's left is the foundational skills. If you can master writing in character for someone else's character, your ability to identify your own character's voices, what is needed to make someone sound different and unique from the other characters, how different archetypes fit together, it all becomes easier. And it frees up my brainpower to focus on playing with formatting techniques, and telling different stories, and learning what works and what doesn't when it comes to dialogue, scene setting. It's all in service of learning the trade. Hence why all my fanfiction is Haikyuu lmao... This isnt my natural writing state, I don't want to write for every single fandom I come across. Daichi has just become written equivalent of a crash test dummy for me. but a very important one - writing fanfiction got me out of a 2.5 year writing slump in which I basically never opened a page at all! So while it is very special to me, I tend to write fanfiction as a way of scrubbing my brain between original projects and to practice my skills rather than considering it my best writing. Hence why my fanfiction is almost entirely unedited. I ain't practicing those skills lmao. Otherwise... no other exercises. Writing with a buddy is always fun though. See who can get the most words done in however long.

3. "How long have I been writing" - literally, truly, genuinely, as long as I can remember. I don't say this like most people do, when they say "oh I've been writing/drawing/playing my whole life" when they really have just been casually interested and only started really trying recently - I have been writing my whole life. One of my earliest memories is of creating a stapled picture book I hand drew and writing that was a fairytale about me, my brother and my dad going on a fantasy adventure. I kept stapled pages of handwritten novels in my desk drawer - I used to get permission from my 3-5th grade teachers to skip recess and lunch and go down to the computer lab and work on a novel instead of going outside (got all my friends doing it too!), I finished my first 30k novel when I was twelve on my mother's work-assigned laptop (it was Warriors fanfiction.) I remember when my brother taught me when and how to do paragraph breaks, I remember him saying he wanted to write a novel and me going "that sounds so cool" and then never ever moving on even after he did. I could wax poetic about how writing is like air to me, and has been the only thing I have never doubted about myself in my life. Or, I could just admit that I'm a writing Nepobaby because my dad's worked in TV and Film as a writer and editor for pretty much his whole life so from the moment I started telling stories I've had the absolute best teacher and guide to bounce ideas off of for themes, story beats, plot structures. :p Anyway like a solid 2 decades at minimum.

Anyway thank you so so so so much for reading and liking my stuff, I hope this was satisfactory for answering questions even though I did end up going on and on. Thank you! Mentally giving you a nice soft-baked cookie of your flavour preference :) 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

xx

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 54

hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

all i want for christmas by tusslee

“Listen,” Lance squeezes Keith’s fingers in his hands, “I’m as bad at this as you probably are and this is going to be really cheesy, but that’s the way I was raised and I know I act like an idiot around pretty girls, but I’m an even bigger idiot around you. Go ahead and try to guess why that is. No, actually don't do that."

this one is gonna be an xmas special!! even though im writing this before halloween lol. anyways. this was so cute!! lance being all stressed about what he should get keith bc he's all in love w him any everything. so real.

2. You're Here (Where You Should Be) by @blue-wanderer

"And if you’re worried about the cameras just take care of them.” “Take care—! Take care of them? With what, Keith?” “I don’t know?” Keith asks, busily testing his foothold in the gate and generally ignoring the rising storm cloud of ire behind him. “With a gun?” “A gun? This isn’t some sort of black ops storming an enemy base thing! This is a Christmas tree thing!” “I don’t see a difference? You’re the sharpshooter. Shoot out the cameras.” “Let me just pull a gun out of my ass, Keith!” “OK, problem solved,” Keith agrees, taking another step up the gate. “Nothing is solved you dumb country space redneck!”

Or Keith and Lance may be disasters at decorating, but Christmas still manages to work its magic on them.

i bookmarked this like a year ago and let me tell you all i needed to hear was dumb country space redneck and i was hooked 😭😭 and it lived up to the name fr. hate the canon ending? want lance to not be a farmer while still acknowledging his struggles with homesickness? want some whipped keith and meddlesome kosmo? want some cheesy xmas feels? click ahead!

3. make my wish come true by angelbolt

“A world where one has to fight for custody of one’s boyfriend is a godless one,” Lance muttered, slumping so he was leaning against Hunk. Shiro exchanged some final words with Kolivan before the screen blipped out. Ah yes, the ideal Christmas Eve: long boring talks and war meetings. Wonderful. ❆❅❆ keith comes home for christmas.

fun game idea: take a shot every time you see a klance xmas fic with a mariah carey lyric. lol. ANYWAYS yall know me and established relationship + early season dynamics!! i am obsessed!! and this fic delivers!! grumpy lance pov who just wants the rest of the world to fuck off for a couple days so he can have his bf around. he's such a voice of the people

4. i'll be home for christmas by @thespacenico

A severe bout of winter weather threatens to stop Shiro from making it home for his first Christmas with Keith. Shiro is ready to do whatever it takes to keep his promise.

okay this one is from darcy's i've got you brother, which i am obsessed with and have cried over several times, and which just recently updated! this fic is so cute and a adashi with young keith always fucking gets to me, man. they're just so. shiro being so desperately determined to keep his promise to young keith who has had so many promises broken that he doesnt even expect shiro to try. but is happy that he does. sobbing.

5. the greatest gift of all by dumpsterdiva

Keith’s mouth hung open for a few seconds before he stammered, “D-do you really mean that?” Lance looked a bit sheepish as he said, “I… It’s crazy, right? I mean, it’s way too soon. You know I was kidding.” Keith straightened up. “Well, I’m not. Marry me.” “What?!” “You heard me, you coward. Marry me.” “That’s the worst proposal ever!” “Worse than you threatening me with marriage so I would stop talking about how amazing you are?”

YOU GUYS KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT PROPOSAL FICS. i feel ksjbskdbqjdbqwlwd about them. okay. and throw in a christmas setting??? and banter?? and a MODERN AU?? i am doing my best, people. this fic had me shoving a pillow into my face and screaming.

that’s it for today!! happy holidays! merry christmas!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[cnaaawd]

hey, i uh. don't know if you remember me. maybe not! but we were friends, a while ago. at some point this year, we met in a discord server centered around people who produce dark fiction but aren't proshippers. i don't remember what name i was going by at the time, maybe rose?

either way, i just wanted to formally apologize for what happened. i've had to realize recently that i've viewed everyone in my life as disposable, because i see myself as disposable. they don't care about me, they won't miss me, why should i care about or miss them? that sort of thing. and it's led me to treat so many people in my life like shit. you're one of them.

this isn't me reaching back out to try and be friends again or anything, just formally apologizing for showing up, being buddy-buddy for a few weeks, then going scorched-earth because i had an anxiety attack. i hope you're well, rudy. :)

(also, if you ever did do the jade harley art we talked about, i hope you know i think about that story constantly. i took it off my account because it ended up being a point of friction, but it's still out there in the wild.)

star :) hello!!! I do remember you, I absolutely do, and you still have nothing to apologise for. Shit happens, but you also get over it. I really really liked you and you inspired (and still do inspire) me sososososo much, I am genuinely really fucking grateful to have met you. Im glad you're doing okay :)

I told you then and I'll tell you now, don't worry about what happened. Its just life that you're gonna make mistakes, youre gonna take the bad path, youre gonna think shit things about yourself and others and you're gonna lose people. I've been there you've been there everyone has been there and bought the fridge magnet. I love the fact you've reached out though, because I love to know you're alright, (hopefully) doing better, and (hopefully) can feel better about something!

and, I still have the wip. I kind of slumped when you left the server and dropped out of homestuck again lol. I do want to finish it though, because the piece you wrote for it is so GUTTURAL and so RAW that I cannot let it go unappreciated. You really inspire me to keep writing, and I still have email notifications for your fics turned on. I love your stuff, don't let yourself think youre disposable and won't be missed. It's made my day hearing from you again!!! :) i hope you have a good rest of the year, and onwards :)

[txtmetonight]

i bet on losing dogs ✆

call summary ⋆ ★ You're betting on losing dogs and you don't know how to stop.

pairing *. * Lee Minho x Fem! Reader

genre⋆ ★ Pure Angst

warnings *. Really bad angst, metaphors to an ED at a part, toxic relationship, heavy heavy metaphors

call duration⋆ ★ 1.4k

a/n*. * um i've been in a slump that I don't know how to feel about. so here you go lol. was written as an indulgence in my own writing skills.

taglist ⋆ ★ @kflixnet

My baby, my baby

You're my baby, say it to me

Baby, my baby

Tell your baby that I'm your baby

You suppose that you’ve mastered the art of loneliness and stupidity in the way that it annoyingly rolls around in your stomach as you stare at a man that you’ve grown to love. Lee Minho. Your baby–but maybe you’re just neurotic, perhaps mental about it. You need confirmation.

He’s your baby. Yours only. But are you his? Your heart aches upon the thought and your throat seems to carry bile that you choke on often just over the moonlight. Lee Minho, who is your boyfriend, loves to act like he’s the lover of another simply because he cannot get over him as his brain throbs over it.

And yet here you are, sticking by him even though you couldn’t provide the exact drugs that he sought out–rather a placebo that helped for moments before he’s back to his self again. Sad. Distraught. Angry.

Your addictive he claims, but your antidote seems to be weakening in potency. You and he have always known the outcomes of your relationship; a tragic one. But you’re still afraid you suppose. Because he’s your baby. And you know that you aren’t his.

You like to ponder upon this thought at night even though it brings you to tears in his arms. You’d like to cease to exist sometimes over your feelings for you are as stupid as you can get.

Dumb as a monkey and as someone who loves another for the love that can’t be reciprocated. You’re just a bandage on an old wound–the wound of Lee Minho’s heart, broken into pieces that a piece of rubber can’t fix. Might as well let it bleed to death.

I bet on losing dogs

I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place

By the ring

You two are like wild dogs, fighting over the last pieces of meat over the suffice of who deserves better. You always let him have it though at the end–you’re always losing. And because of that, you end up paying a hefty price. You’re starved on the tongue by his affection, and the last scraps he throws at you at the end don’t suffice your ever-growing hunger.

And once in a while to your great joy, he’ll let you have a big chunk of meat. But that’s only when he notices your ribs shining through your skin. You’re famished and he’s generous, he says. He’s a godsend he says. But he knows that you’re weak and doomed to an eternity of purging. But he knows that you're dehydrated from all the tears that you seep. But he knows how this will end.

He’s an ever-knowing person. Yet he still slips a promise ring on your finger to your dismay with a big old smile. You’re now sure if he wants to torture you, but maybe ripping you open tendon by tendon, letting your guts spill into the confines of an abyss that you wish to never return from may be easier than letting that band of metal burn into your skin. He knows that too. But he’s a psychopath. And yours too. But does he like to admit that? You know the truth too.

Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down

I'll be there on their side

I'm losing by their side

Minho is crying in the living room. His eyes glisten with tears that pool of acid when they slip down his face–you can tell by the way that he flinches. You’re not sure at what he’s sobbing over, but then again you can never tell what he mulls over completely.

When you stare him down because you’re tired of looking at his endless eyes, you notice that his lips are cracked. Just like yours. And then at that moment, you feel a rush of empathy and that’s perhaps you feel like you’re looking at yourself.

You’re by Minho’s side because he reminds you so much of yourself. From then on, after that heart-pounding realization, you seem to cradle yourself (Minho) even more, though deep inside you know that the love that you die for will never be cared for.

You're in an utter loss and you lost your gamble long ago when you said yes to the man you ripped your heart into pieces for all those years ago. Knowing well enough that he’s not right. And never was and never will be. Yet you’re stuck like glue to him, and it hurts when you try to peel away–always too scared to rip off him. You’re a pity.

Will you let me, baby, lose

On losing dogs

You remember the craving for sweetness on your tongue and how it used to swirl. But as the years go by, the want for honey stops, and now it’s bitter and sour. Like a lemon that you can’t stop eating. Sour as it can get���imagine it really. But every now and then, you get that craving for sugar once more. Every kind you’d like to get. Almost as if you were a kid in a candy store. You’d really like to be.

But will Minho provide it for you? Minho, will you give it to me? Chocolate please? You pray about it. You really do. You also reminisce about the time you hated the word “no” all because you hated defeat. Despised it almost as it brought great fury in your belly. But you think that Minho likes the look of failure on you. It’s his favorite outfit.

Yet maybe, one day he’ll let you dress the way you want. Just maybe. Will he? Your tongue is dry with questions that you don’t know the answer to. Your choice of clothing is a frilly dress of pink, made up of lollipops and sweet chocolate and candies that would rot your teeth down to their very core.

I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place

By the ring

Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down

You hate betting. But you still do it anyway. And you pay terribly so. By the way, the cheap jewel on your finger has turned into a diamond ring. You stare into Minho’s eyes when he slips it on during a date. They’re downcast and cloudy so you’re unable to see through them. You wish you never got dependent on love. If only you knew how much blood you’ve been throwing up on the rock on your finger–hoping that it stopped your heart.

I wanna feel it

I bet on losing dogs

I always want you when I'm finally fine

You’re walking down the aisle in white. You want to feel it. Feel his love that hangs in the air so you can breathe again freely once more. Minho is gorgeous in his black tie and suit and he’s sharp. Really sharp. You just want to be free again, not caged like a bird with a tag stuck on your hands. He’s crying you realize and so are you when you both recite your vows. And once again, a feeling of neediness takes over you. The words that he speaks must slide down your body, letting you play with them, each letter at a time, absorbing it into your skin. But he may as well just tease it out of your reach.

You know you won’t even get a taste of the syllables on your tongue. The ones that he utters. Not when it’s saccharine-sweet. And he hates it.

How you'd be over me looking in my eyes when I come

You’re on a roller coaster and you’re going down when he looks at you. It’s likened to dying and you’re speeding off the tracks. A little death. Weakened to your consciousness right after.

Someone to watch me die

Someone to watch me die

I bet on losing dogs

Minho says you’ve gone into debt. You’ve used all of your money on him and you’re going to die. The smell of the grim reaper lingers in the air, and you feel how its eyes are watching you. You’ve festered paranoia in you. And it ranges a lot but perhaps your biggest fear starts from the root. Minho is your baby, right? Right? Right?! Even after your child is born.

The losing dog had gotten mauled by the other. Its heart ripped out while it beats out in the open, a viewing purpose in the form of art.

You’ve lost. Completely, when the child wails in your arms, leaving you astray with madness when Minho is gone from sight.

[notebookmusical]

Okay part 2!!! I understand your reading slump and I haven't had a lot of time for reading lately either. I'm sorry you haven't been enjoying your reads. I will also be pretty busy over the next two months and I'm not sure how long it will take me to read or if I will focus on reading much at all but i'm gonna try. I plan on going back to Tomorrow x3 eventually cuz it did seem like it has potential and a story I might like but I always start books and forget about them anyway lol. You can explain the annotating for the Night Circus if you want! I don't like writing in books or anything but I can keep it in mind while reading. Although your annotations looked nice and clean from the pics I saw.I always try to look at any discussion questions in books too. Also if you have any opinions on who to picture for this book, that always helps me a little bit. But I was also thinking of trying to read the new Hunger Games this month. The new movie looks pretty good and I might never read it once I watch the movie. I've heard mixed things about it but I like the clips I've seen and Olivia Rodrigo has a new song for it! I heard it last night and liked it..it definitely has a Hunger Games sound to it. It actually reminds me of Safe and Sound mixed with Carolina. It's funny cuz Rachel and Olivia are sort of alike to me..they're the same age and had to adjust to fame quickly in a similar way. Idk if you ever watched the new West Side Story, but I love her voice.

I agree about the vault songs. I think its more that they picked certain songs cuz they wanted the album to tell a specific story. Taylor explained this with Slut vs Blank Space, and Is it Over Now vs Out of the Woods. For Maisie, it was more like some had an acoustic sound and she obviously wanted more fun songs maybe. Like..I prefer listening to The Last One or Truth Is over Run, but I understand why she picked it. Also my sister noticed a cool double meaning in the song..like is being the last one a good thing or bad thing basically and I thought that was interesting. Like I'll be the last one cheering you on..after everyone left or I'll be the last one you would even think of..and other people are more important than me. It's funny cuz sometimes we have different interpretations of a song. One example is High infidelity and the lyrics about killing the one you love and never loving them enough. She thought it was her that didn't love him enough and I thought it was him not loving her enough. So for Suburban Legends, I get a little confused too and can understand maybe why people would like the other songs more. I think at first, I just took the 2nd verse literally, about the high school reunion..which is something I then started thinking of my own life and relating to it. Then the line about I broke my own heart and you were too polite to do it kinda reminded me of Midnight Rain or the idea of You're On Your Own Kid..and how she had to choose between her dreams or relationship and the song is a fantasy if she chose him. This also ties in with the title of suburban legends once I actually thought about it. So when I compared it to Dorothea, it's kinda a similar idea..almost like the same perspective of the song Dorothea. Cardigan has a similar feel of lost love and longing to me. But I've now seen other interpretations that she is using high school as a metaphor and the song is back and forth and the person did not care about her as much. I kinda realized that cuz the first verse didn't quite match up with that interpretation. However it seemed to match with my experience in general so that's what the song means to me. It might have a hint of Gold Rush too..which I also connect to. To be clear, I don't really mean the story within the songs..just how it relates to me and my life. Teardrops, Hey Stephen and Stay Beautiful also tell a similar story.But like the ruin line I interpret as nothing the person did..just how life is, and you don't end up with the person you wanted in high school, but you'll always wonder what if. Idk if this is confusing, I thought it would be obvious or the point of the song, but it didn't seem to be the common interpretation lol. Also I can't believe she added more dates to the tour!

Connections was kinda hard for me today! I kinda had the right idea but sometimes I can't fill in every word in the category. I actually got blue first today which were the words that were letters. I knew royal flush and family went together but not the other two words even when I knew the category, so that happens sometimes too. I was so stuck on the double words one cuz I thought it was something to do with spelling. Or I'll get two categories pretty easily and be sort of lost with the other two haha. The game also tries to trick you a lot, like with apple and dell computers from yesterday too so it just depends. I think usually the easy ones are easy for me, and the hard ones are hard but there have been a few times I got purple first or 2nd. One time was the guitar parts, but I didn't know the horror directors from the other day at all. I usually find that fill in the blanks are pretty hard though. I hope you have a great time seeing Hadestown tomorrow!!! Can't wait to hear all about it!

if it makes you feel any better, i haven't picked up a book at all in like four days, and i most likely won't until i'm on a plane on friday! i'm trying to decide what book i want to take with me — i'm thinking of maybe bringing beautiful world, where are you by sally rooney; it'd be a reread/an annotation project (and yes, i know i'm in the middle of like four of those right now) but that's what i'm leaning towards. i might also try to read an arc on the plane? it's not a very long plane ride, so we'll see. with the night circus, i'm double annotating — which means i'm annotating two copies at the same time! one copy is for traveling book club (each person picks a book, you annotate → send it along to the next person in the group chat who then annotates/reads your annotations → passes it on, etc) and then i also wanted to annotate it for myself! but it's a very lengthy process. double annotating always takes me 50 million years. my friend em has fancasted dev patel as marco, and jessica henwick for celia and has been saying so for years so i always think of her + her fancast when people ask me this question, but personally i am terrible at fancasts and have yet to find someone who is the perfect celia / marco / etc. to me!

i haven't read tbosas either! i keep meaning to and then i ... never do. i feel like i should also reread the hunger games, if i'm going to read that though! have you listened to the new olivia song? i really liked it! i think it fits the vibes of the trailer/what i know of tbosas really well. and i have not watched the west side story movie! rachel is really talented, i remember seeing the video of her at broadway flea back in the day singing a little fall of rain with chris mccarrell haha! we have some mutual friends, fun fact!

i thought about changing my url to a the last one url but i felt like i had just changed mine to this and i'm trying to be better about changing my urls every single month. i also thought about changing it to a hockey url though! so we'll see! and yes — broke my own heart ... reminded me a lot of midnights! i think we talked about how a lot of the vault feels very midnights-y, and i think that's a prime example! and yes — like the 1! i love those what if/sliding doors stories/thoughts!! and i can't either — i'm hoping to get vancouver tickets since that's much closer to me than where i currently have eras tickets for (and my friend and i could maybe stay with my father), which would make things a lot easier/cheaper.

it's been a hot minute since i replied, but connections today (nov 5) was easy for me! the royal flush one was silly! i totally guessed with the horror directors one and all my friends in my group chat were surprised i got it! i started playing murdle a few days ago, and i've been having a lot of fun with it! there's the mini murdle and then the daily murdle — you should give it a try! my group chat also did colorfle for a while, and some of them do bandle, actordle, and moviegrid but i don't listen to enough music/watch enough movies to participate in those haha.

hadestown was fun; we had an understudy for orpheus (john krause!!!!), but the paramount theatre's sound system is really really finicky, especially for shows where the band is on stage, and so i just had a really hard time with act one sound wise. i could barely hear him, and then everyone else was super loud/the music was really loud, and it just detracted from the overall experience, but they fixed some of it by act two so that was more enjoyable! i also think (and i have thought this every time i see it, but it was more so noticeable this time) that act one feels very long in comparison to act two which is much faster paced! i also still think that they should close act 1 with wait for me, but i don't know where why we build the wall would fit! hmm...

how was your weekend? did you get up to anything fun? sending you a warm hug + hope you have a good upcoming week!!! 🤍 xo

[oh-katsuki]

I need you to know I've only read like half of the notebook theory and I wanna respond and react to it so bad but I have so many thoughts about it that I need more time to make them COHERENT before I can even finish the whole thing cause uUGHSKDVBFKJSVBF THE WAY YOU WRITE PINING MAKES MY STOMACH HURT (IN A GOOD WAY PROMISE)

I thought a good compromise would be getting some of the screaming out of the way now so i can save the actual writing analysis stuff for later LOL cause I actually cannot get over the way that you write.

Your descriptions are so vivid down to such TINY details that I'm always blown away, you include nuances that are SOOO important but I never would have even thought about adding myself, it just wouldn't have occurred to me. It does so much to flesh out your little worlds, and some of your written scenes have stuck out to me even like a year after I've read them LOL

(ex is novelty, when reader is going into satori's apartment for the first time and you describe all of his little trinkets and the knick-knacks on his shelves, I can still picture that so vividly and I have aphantasia LOL)

I don't know what lenses you're using to look at life but I wanna see inside ur head so badly it drives me nuts. The way you craft the narrative and tell your stories is completely beguiling, the way you convey emotion in a multitude of ways, through body language or even just the setting itself, actually makes me want to chew on leather it's making me go feral.

I'm not even done but this is already super long and I'm kind of embarrassed skdjfvbhshf sO I will save the rest for when I can buckle down to finish it and then write another essay of a comment LOL I apologize in advance.

I hope you have a super sweet day!

oh my GOOODDD YOU ARE SO KIND???????????? i genuinely am at a loss for words in responding to this????

thank you so much for taking the time to read the notebook theory and to type out this response to the parts you have read :( i'm so so glad that you like it and im serious when i say that i'll be thinking about this ask for a while.

it's kinda crazy to me that things i've written stick with you and with others the way you've said they do, esp bc i feel like i've been in such a slump lately. it's a little beyond my brain space capacity to imagine and hearing it feels very crazy and surreal (in a good way). it makes me absolutely overjoyed to hear that my writing resonates with u in some way, shape, or form.

i sinCERELY hope you enjoy the rest of it. thank you so much for taking the time to come in here and be so kind and so thoughtful <3 im at a loss, but i love u and thank you <3

[emissaire]

↻ mischief-filled love - luca kaneshiro

╰► warnings/includes: fluff, established relationship, silly nicknames, vtuber! reader, gn! reader

╰► note: crazy how i'm only writing now for my oshi lol.

Luca, despite being the big bad mafia boss that he is (or so he claims), is quite a playful man. It's evident with the way he treats his friends, his fans, and even you— his lover. It's in his nature to be mischievous and although you always find yourself to be on the receiving end of his whims, you find that it's quite endearing.

His and your fans are not strangers to his antics when it comes to you. From the first prank he did towards you to the time he asked you out by building a flower-shaped tower for you in Minecraft, they're all witnesses. Though there are times they can't help but be curious of what happens behind the scenes.

Boundaries aside, you and Luca are pretty much vocal to things in your relationship that you think is fine sharing with your viewers. That's why when one particular question catches your eyes, you giggle as you read it outloud.

"Does Luca ever call you weird nicknames?" You're currently doing a zatsudan stream, chilling with your viewers and all that while Luca sleeps in your shared bedroom after going live up until 3 AM.

You hum in thought, fondly remembering the weird nicknames your boyfriend has given you but you balk when you come up with nothing. "No? Yeah no, the silliest one he's given me is booba biter because I like biting his chest," you laugh as you look at chat with a bright grin, "Most of the time, they're all cute. I'm the one who gives him weird nicknames."

You see the onslaught comments rolling up your chat so fast you can barely read them. You settle on the recent question after your chat has reasonably calmed down. "What nicknames do you give him?"

You're about to open your mouth to answer the question when someone opens the door to your live streaming room. You see Luca waltzing in, rubbing his eyes to adjust to the lights coming from your computer. He freezes on the spot when he realizes that you're in the middle of streaming, mouthing 'Can you mute for a second?'

With a quick nod, you relent as you tell your viewers about quickly muting your microphone so you can focus on your sleepy boyfriend.

"Babe." His voice sounds so raspy yet whiny that it makes you grin. 

"Hey, baby." You greet, taking the opportunity to stretch your back after being slumped in front of your setup for almost two hours now. "What's up?"

"Nothing. Just wanted to see you." He smiles lazily before pressing multiple pecks on your forehead and cheeks. "I'll go now, don't want to keep you from them." He says and then finally kisses your lips, soft yet firm. 

You hum, ruffling his messy blonde hair before he exits the room again like nothing happened. The moment makes your stomach flutter, excited butterflies filling your system at the affectionate gesture from your sweet boyfriend.

Clearing your throat, you unmute your microphone to greet everyone again, resuming on your previous topic. "Sorry about that. Where were we?" You skim through multiple comments to get you back on track.

👑 poppey soul 👑: u were gonna expose urself with the weird nicknames u give luca lol

This time, you can't hold back the snicker from escaping your pressed lips after reading the live chat. "Right! I usually call Luca schmoopey because he likes smooches and he gets mopey when I don't give him what he wants," you pause as you try to think of the other ones you've given him, "Oh! He absolutely loathes hubba bubba but it cracks me up everytime."

forever kindred 👹: those are cute though! 😭

fulgur's rusty right arm 😬: lol i call my boyfriend poopstain sometimes

You're happily giggling by yourself as you read chat after chat. "I don't think Prince is weird but he's not that fond of it because he gets flustered when I call him that."

y/n's doormat 😚: what does luca call u doe? 👀

Deciding to tease your chat, you hum as if to keep them on their toes before finally answering the question. You don't mean for it to happen but the way your voice sounded came out shy and giggly. The things your boyfriend does to you. "He usually calls me babe or love… but if he's feeling affectionate, he calls me sweetheart or doll sometimes."

Another bout of chat going crazy and Uki, who happens to be present at the time, demanding the sick bucket, you decide it was time to end the stream.

What you didn't know is that your boyfriend was watching your stream outside, laughing at the way you got embarrassed and abruptly ended the live stream. He couldn't wait to tease you as soon as you come out.

@emissaire 2022 all rights reserved - plagiarism is a crime

[sirenascales]

-> double black [part four] 18+

-> Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai

-> Who knew getting fired from work could lead to this?

-> Content: SMUT, slight angst, violence, murder, swearing

The investigation continues, even if things aren't moving as smoothly as one would like. [Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai]

2,073 words

note: SMUT Like... this was an excuse to write smut with both of them okay, and totally i forgot to tag those who are on my taglist for the previous part and im so sorry lol but please enjoy!

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Final || masterlist

Days have gone by and the investigation is still underway, but things weren't looking too great. There was still no confirmed DNA evidence, no weapon, not even a witness. Nothing to aid in the apprehension of Taichi's murderer.

"If only Ranpo were here," Atsushi sighed deeply, the snack loving detective out on another case that had popped up. "He would have solved this in a heartbeat."

I laughed softly, wringing my hands nervously. "It's too bad he isn't here," I said, trying to focus on the paperwork in front of me. "Surely it would make things easier for us..."

"But that'll just be boring!" Dazai exclaimed from his desk, leaning against Atsushi who just pushed him off.

"This isn't for your entertainment, Dazai! The killer could have fled the country by now," Kunikida argued, crossing his arms over his chest. "For now, we just have to stay focused and not waste time.

I nodded, slumping back in my chair and fiddling with my pen. "What the hell are we missing..."

We didn't dwell on it for much longer, since the shift ended. I sighed in relief, looking forward to just going home, eating dinner, and going to bed. The case was draining, the dead ends we kept running into just sending us back to square one. Now all I wanted was to rest for the night.

But of course, with a certain suicidal maniac, that was not happening.

"Isn't this cheating..." I gasped out softly, Dazai pressing his naked body against me from behind, his hard dick against my ass and his mouth on my neck.

"Maybe..." Dazai hummed, reaching around to grab my breasts, the soap in his hands making my skin slippery. "But there's no such thing as cheating in a fight."

I gasped sharply when Dazai pinched my nipples, eyes fluttering closed. "This isn't even a fight... you're the weirdo that wanted to turn this investigation into a game."

Leave it to Dazai to basically latch himself onto me as I made my way home. We ordered delivery, eating together on my couch and deciding to watch a movie. Before I knew it, we were making out on my couch, soon enough making our way to the shower.

The water was hot, steaming up the bathroom. Our wet hair stuck to our skin, Dazai holding onto my hips tightly as he fucked me from behind. He bit his lip in concentration, relishing in the sound of my cries echoing in the small room.

"Fuck... Osamu, you feel so good," I cried out, hands slipping on the tiled walls, trying to grab for something. Dazai just pressed his chest against my back, keeping up his rough pace as he chuckled in my ear.

"Do you like that?" "Yes!" "Of course you do, dirty little girl." Dazai reached around and grabbed my face, stuffing two fingers into my mouth. That had my eyes rolling back as I weakly sucked on his fingers, his other hand working on my clit. That finally sent me over the edge as I screamed around his fingers, body shaking as I reached my peak.

Dazai fucked me through my orgasm, ignoring my whines from the overstimulation until he quickly pulled his cock out, pumping himself a few more times before he hit his own orgasm, cumming right on my ass.

"Fuck, bella. You're so beautiful," he gasped, kissing me deeply while pulling us under the hot water.

We barely made it out of the bathroom before going at it again, Dazai fucking me against the wall in the hallway, one of my legs hooked around him while he wrapped a hand around my neck. His breath was hot against my neck, coming out in breathless pants while he continued to rail me.

"Incredible," he whispered in my ear, his hand still around my neck, keeping me in place. "And so pliable... you'll always be putty in my hands."

"Mmm!" I moaned almost pathetically. "Yes..."

"You're my pretty little subordinate?"

"Yes!"

Soon, we finally made it to my bed, where Dazai proceeded to make me ride him like my life depended on it. I was left shaking, the two of us very satisfied.

"So much for a quiet evening," I huffed a while later, the two of us finally getting clean before burying ourselves under my covers. "You are one horny bastard, Dazai."

"Says the equally horny bitch," Dazai retorted and I laughed, turning and pressing my face against the side of his neck.

It went silent, and thankfully it was a comfortable silence where we just lied there, holding onto each other. I sigh contently, fingers lazily trailing up and down his chest while I can feel the bandages on his arms against my skin.

"Dazai?"

"Hm."

"You know..." I started carefully, keeping my face pressed against him. "If you ever need to like... talk... when you're feeling... bad... I'm here for you." I bit my lip, hoping I wasn't overstepping. "I'm here. Even if it's just to listen..."

Dazai didn't say anything, and I was too freaked out to look at him. Though, after a moment, he pressed a kiss to the top of my head, giving me a nice squeeze.

"You are very kind, bella."

I frowned, cuddling up more against him. I blinked when he shifted, looking at him questionably as he set me down on the bed before he started to get up. "Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom," he grinned back at me. "I won't be long, bella. Don't miss me too much!"

I just scoffed and rolled my eyes, watching Dazai leave the bedroom before staring up at the ceiling. I waited, frown on my face growing deeper as the minutes went by, teeth chewing on my bottom lip nervously.

"Sorry, I went to get some water," Dazai then returned, quickly climbing into bed beside me. Immediately his arms are wrapped around me, holding me tight. "Let's go to sleep."

I smiled up at him, softly pressing a kiss to his lips before I settled against him, closing my eyes. "Goodnight."

Dazai watched me for a second, his lips curling up in an amused, knowing smile. "Goodnight, bella..."

"Ah... this is nerve-wracking..." Keiko mumbled softly, clinging onto my hand as we stepped up to the very familiar tall building. I gulped, nervous since the building was overrun with members of the Port Mafia.

It was the day after that night I spent with Dazai, and instead of being at work, I had received a call from an unknown number. That had turned out to be Chuuya, who ordered me to find Keiko and bring both of our asses to meet him in his office.

Chuuya wasn't just a member of the Port Mafia, but he was an executive, and he held great power. It was almost scary, especially as Keiko and I rode up the escalator to the right floor.

"I wonder what he wants..." Keiko says nervously, biting her lip as we approached the office. We finally made it and I knocked on it five times.

"Come in."

I gulped and we walked inside. Chuuya sat in his desk, and if I wasn't so nervous, I would have been drooling at how fucking fine he looked, sitting with his feet propped on the desk. He gestured to the chairs before his desk lazily. "Sit."

He mostly wanted to talk to Keiko, seeing as she was Taichi's boyfriend and to make sure she didn't tell too much info to the police or "those bastards at the ADA", as he said while shooting me a dirty look. I returned it.

"Of course not," Keiko said softly. "And I wanted to thank you for paying for his funeral. That was nice of you."

Chuuya waved her off. "It wasn't a problem. He was one of my best men." Keiko clenched her fists tightly in her lap as he said that.

"Did you find out anything? We're not having too much luck either," I spoke up, thoughtful look on my face. "Like how can you not find DNA when he was selling the drugs there? There had to have been other people." I looked over at Keiko, missing how Chuuya's eyes went wide before he narrowed them at me.

"It's pissing me off how hard this is," he said rather stiffly, still watching me. "At the end of the day, this might just end up closing as a cold case... but like hell will I forget this." Chuuya clenched his fists, a look of anger and determination on his face. "But we are done here. Well, I'm done with you, Keiko. I still need to speak with her." He was looking right at me.

Keiko gave me a knowing look and a wink and I just playfully shoved her towards the door. "I'll see you later, okay?" I said and she nodded before walking out. Turning back to Chuuya, I watched him get up from his desk. "So what else did you wanna talk about?" I asked, tilting my head as Chuuya walked around the desk and towards me, not answering.

"Um? Hel-mmph!"

Chuuya gripped the back of my neck, pulling me in for a deep, breathtaking kiss. I cupped his face, kissing him back just as deeply. He turned us around so as he walked me backwards with his lips still on mine, I bumped right against his desk, which he sat me on.

"You came in here in this sexy ass dress and expect me not to fuck you?" Chuuya growled, kissing down my neck as his hands moved up my dress. He smirked as he massaged my thighs, quickly finding my knife and removing it. "This is a beautiful knife," he hummed, inspecting it. I smiled softly, weakly reaching to grab it but Chuuya just flicked it, the blade neatly embedding itself right on his desk. "You take great care of it."

"Well, that was my first knife..." I said softly, desperately wanting my knife back, but that went out the window once Chuuya kissed me again.

My legs soon found themselves wrapped around Chuuya's hips. His pants were pushed down just enough to free his cock, my panties pushed to the side as he fucked me right on top of his desk.

"Fuck, dollface, you're even better than I fucking remembered," Chuuya hissed, pushing me on my back, on top of his messy papers. He tossed one of my legs over his shoulder, squeezing his gloved fingers into my flesh as I could only moan and whine in pleasure, his thrusts hitting hard and deep inside me, I was seeing stars.

"S-so much for... only one time, huh," I managed to choke out, my head tossing back as Chuuya hit that one spot. "Oh, fuck!"

"Yeah, shut up and take this cock," Chuuya hissed. His thumb pressed against my clit, and that was enough to have me squeezing him tight as I hit my orgasm, legs shaking and loud cries leaving my mouth.

That got him going and soon, Chuuya was pulling out and I was on my knees, fisting his cock and letting Chuuya cum in my mouth. Chuuya petted my hair, a blissed out look on his face. "Good girl. Now, bend yourself over the desk."

With shaking knees, I got myself up and bent over Chuuya's desk like he ordered, displayed all nice and pretty for him. I looked back over my shoulder, shuddering at how he looked at me, blue eyes full of hunger as he bit on his lower lip. His leather clad hands started to squeeze my ass, moving one hand up until he's pressing on the middle of my back, guiding his cock against my entrance with his other hand.

We borh groaned in pleasure as he started pushing himself in, Chuuya tossing his head back with a hiss. "Fuck, I'll never get tired of this." He starts thrusting his hips, moaning again at the feel of my walls around him. "Fuck, fuck..."

"It's all yours..." I could only babble out, the feel of him stretching me nice and good frying my brain. "Chuuya, please, oh my God..."

After two more soul shattering orgasms, I was finally allowed to leave... if I even could. There was a smug grin on Chuuya's face as he just stared at me. I sat in the chair across from him, the two of us dressed, but he looked like a damn model while I looked like I had a run in with the giant industrial fans they had in elementary school cafeterias during the warmer days.

"Get that dumb look off your face," I whined. "It's not fair. I looked like I got attacked."

Chuuya snickered. "I mean... that's not so far off."

I rolled my eyes. "Ugh, you and Dazai are so unbelievably horny, it's sad."

Chuuya growled. "First off, don't talk about him around me. And second, who was the one begging to titfuck my cock?"

I scoffed, face hot and I turned my nose up at him. "Shut up."

"Just go home."

"Fine. You guys are still cheaters anyway," I said before standing up. I walked over to him, leaning over his desk and I was happy when he met me halfway and gave me a kiss. "Call me again. Maybe when there isn't a weird investigation going on."

Chuuya rolled his eyes, shooing me away. "Just go."

I giggled softly before turning and walking out of the office. Chuuya sighed deeply, opening one of his desk drawers. He stared at the object inside of it for a moment, sighing again before grabbing his pack of cigarettes, taking one and lighting it up before taking a long drag.

-End

tags in replies!

[heyyyharry]

Deep End - Chapter 11: Date Night

…in which Ezi’s first date gets interfered.

Word count: 2.5k

AU: famous!harry, siren!mc, adult modern retelling of the little mermaid? lol, fake dating, enemies to lovers.

WARNING: MATURE THEMES

All chapters / Synopsis / Moodboard / Playlist

Wattpad link

A/N: sorry this chapter is so short. I was emotionally unstable when I wrote this last week :D I'll try to write more for the next one.

Also, please follow my writing account on Instagram: @allie.writes :) Don't forget to leave comments on this chapter!

.

.

.

“Hey, do you remember Dolores?” Dawson asked.

“How could I forget?” Ezili murmured, eyeing her sister up and down.

Of course Ezi remembered Dolores. She couldn’t if she tried. Whenever she looked at Koa, all she saw was what she could never be, what her mother wished that she was, and it only made her despise herself. When she’d first arrived here, she had felt so out of place, but at the same time, free. She still revisited her old life in her sleep, which made her wake up screaming during the night. And despite all the struggles she’d gone through, she felt appreciated. Harry wasn’t anywhere near great, but he wasn’t bad. He looked out for her even though she wasn’t his kind. And she knew if her mother knew she felt this way about a human, she would not be standing here.

But why was she thinking about Harry? He wasn’t here. She snapped out of her thoughts and looked around as the vibrant atmosphere of the night market drowned out her thoughts. Her sister came forward and pulled her into a hug. She could feel Koa’s claws leaving marks on her shoulders, but she knew it was just her imagination.

Koa withdrew with a smile and lifted those perfect human hands with short blunt nails and twisted her hair into a bun. She looked so human, so natural. Ezili wondered how Koa it, but then she caught a glimpse of the trident hanging on a chain around her neck. She’d been using magic.

Immediately, Ezili grabbed Dawson’s hand and pulled him to her side. Koa tilted her head, looking quite confused, which Ezili knew was all an act. Meanwhile, Dawson was blushing. He cleared his throat. “So...Dolores is also here for the book fair. Mind if she joins us?”

“Not at all,” Ezili said with a tight smile.

“Great!” Koa said, hands clasped against her chest.

Ezili tried to figure out what her sister’s intentions were. Was she here to kill Ezili? Was she here to kill Harry? What if she thought Dawson was Ezili’s new target and was here to kill him? Also, how many humans had she killed for her to be here, dressed, act, and talk like a real human girl?

Ezili walked beside Koa as the girl went on and on about how she’d just moved to London, and all the places she’d visited and enjoyed. She must have got all this information from the magic of the trident. She couldn’t be more human than Ezili, who’d had to learn everything by herself.

“Harry?”

Ezili’s heart gave a lurch when she spotted his face in the crowd. It started with a feeling of comfort, like finding a warm bed in the middle of the raging ocean. But then a tidal wave of anxiety crashed down upon her, and she momentarily forgot about Dawson and her sister. She rushed toward him, pushing past a group of tourists and teenagers who cursed at her.

“There you are!” Harry said, spreading his arms. “My favourite fish.”

“What are you doing here?” she hissed and tugged hard at his sleeve. “Why did you follow me here?”

“I didn’t follow you here.”

“Liar.”

“I’m not,” Harry sighed and poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue as he looked around. “Where’s Dawson anyway? Why are you standing here all by yourself?”

Ezili had no time for his questions. “Harry, go home.”

“I’m here to buy books!”

“Oh, yeah? What books?”

“This one,” he said, grabbing a random book from a display shelf they were in front of.

“The Sex Life of Pets?”

“Oh.” His smile dropped as he read the title. “I mean, it does look kinda interesting.”

“Harry, go home. I’m fine.”

“I don’t think you are. Dawson left you here all by yourself.”

“He’s taking care of something,” Ezili said anxiously as she put her arms around herself and rubbed. The air was getting cold. She hadn’t had to feel the cold when she’d been a siren. She hated how weak humans were. A slight change of the weather could get them all messed up.

She was about to tell Harry to go home right now because her sister was here, and Dawson might be in danger. Ezili’s job here was to kill one of these men, not save them every single time. But to her surprise, Harry took off his coat and put it around her shoulders. “Come home with me,” he said, gently. “If you stay here, you might get lost among all these tourists.”

“No, you go home,” she said, pushing his shoulder, but he didn’t budge. “It’s not safe here for you.”

“How?” he chuckled. “I know London like the back of my hand.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Ezili, you’re acting stran—” Harry was about to finish his sentence when his smile vanished. He pointed over Ezili’s shoulder. “Is that Dawson talking to your sister?”

Ezili whirled around, relieved to find Dawson still alive, but the grin her sister gave her while Dawson was talking to a seller made her uneasy.

“Harry, go home,” she snapped at Harry, shoved him hard so he stumbled back. If something happened, she could only save one of them, and she knew for a fact it would be Harry.

“I’m not going home and leaving you here—”

“And I won’t save you if my sister does something again. I’ll save Dawson, and you don’t want to die, do you?”

At first, she thought those words were all harmless, until she saw the way Harry’s smile dropped, and his shoulders slumped. He said nothing, only nodded. Koa and Dawson were heading towards them now. It was too risky to have Harry here.

“Go!” she shouted and pushed him hard. He didn’t joke about it or react, just held her gaze for a moment and walked away.

“Is that Harry? Harry!”

“He’s leaving, Dawson,” Ezili said and turned to her sister. “Could you come with me to the restroom?”

“Yeah, sure!” Koa happily said, then waved at a puzzled Dawson as she got dragged away.

“What are you trying to do?” Ezili asked in Séren when they were far enough from Dawson, but not too far; she still needed to keep an eye on him just in case.

“Nothing,” Koa answered in their mother tongue. “Although Pretty Boy over there looks quite delicious.”

“Stop it!” Ezili snapped. “You’ve been breaking so many rules around here. You’re not allowed to use the magic of the trident for personal gains.”

“Mother entrusted me with it,” Koa mused.

“I’m sure she’d be happy to know what you’d used it for,” Ezili said, disgusted.

Koa’s dark pink lips curled to the side. “You’re jealous,” she said, leaning back, arms crossed.

Ezili had no time for this. “Please go home,” she told her sister. “I have things under control here. I’ll return in a year with the heart.”

“But you don’t have a whole year,” Koa said. “One year could be a lifetime for these creatures. Humans are fickle. They can stay married for twenty years and still can’t love each other.”

Ezili scoffed, eyebrows raised. “Does the trident tell you that?”

“No, Dolores did,” Koa said, twirling a strand of hair around her finger innocently as if she weren’t talking about someone she’d murdered for no reason. “She hated her husband,” she went on. “I heard her talking on the phone with someone about how she had never loved him, and they had two grown children together. Can you believe it? These creatures made up the thing called ��marriage’ - a lifetime commitment, which they could not keep up with themselves. And as much as your pretty head wants to see the good in these filthy creatures. They are far from good. Not only do they harm other living things, they also harm their own kind. Physically and emotionally.” Koa put her hand on Ezili’s shoulder and squeezed. “That boy you’re so attached to is no different, Ezili. He will never love you.”

Ezili bit her lip and brushed her sister’s hand off of her. “Don’t tell me about humans when I’ve been here for longer than you do.”

“And yet,” Koa said, “you’re still here.”

Ezili wanted to tell Koa she was wrong for doubting Ezili, but Koa wasn’t wrong. Recently, Ezili had been doubting herself, too. She had even considered switching her target from Harry to Dawson, but she could not feel the same connection she’d had with Harry.

“I have an offer for you, Ezili,” Koa’s voice dragged her out of her own thoughts. She blinked at her sister. “Before your birthday, which was supposed to be your coronation day, you may come back to the Queendom. You’ll tell Mother that you cannot accomplish the mission and ask her to make me Queen of the Seven Seas. Then we’ll have a new Queen as planned. Our evil aunt can’t plot against the throne. And when I’m Queen, I’ll make sure you won’t be banished. You’ll get to keep your title as a princess and stay in the castle.”

Ezili hated that she wasted a second to actually consider the offer. “No. I won’t do it,” she spat, stepping back. “If I accepted this offer, no one and nothing in the ocean world would take me seriously. I would become an outcast anyway.”

Koa rolled her eyes and laughed heartily. “At least you’ll still be protected by the army and you’ll have a family. Or would you rather join the mermaids collecting gold all day for your sad little collection? Also, I’m sure the white sharks would love an abandoned siren.”

“I’m going to be Queen,” Ezili said through clenched teeth. “I’m bringing Mother the heart no matter what. Now you go home and tell her just that. And be careful with my trident that you wore around your little breakable neck.”

Koa opened her mouth to speak, but Ezili didn’t give her a chance. She put up a hand and shouted, “Dawson, let’s go! Dolores is just about to leave.”

.

.

.

Ezili didn’t know what time she arrived home. She tried not to think about her sister’s words, which had clearly been for the purpose of making her doubt herself. She still hoped Dawson had had a great time tonight. They’d bought some books after she’d got rid of Koa, then stopped at a restaurant on the way back to Harry’s mansion. She’d apologised when he’d dropped her off for not being quite herself tonight, and she hated how he’d cheerfully said, “It was nothing. No worries.” Why did humans lie about how they felt all the time? If something bothered you or made you uncomfortable, why not just say it? Why did they feel the need to complicate things? It was hard enough for her to understand human emotions, and they expected her to be able to guess?

“Hey,” Harry said when their eyes met and she froze in the doorway. She’d expected him to be sleeping right now. “You look clean. Guess your sister didn’t kill Dawson?”

Ezili narrowed her eyes at him and kicked off her shoes. “No. Nothing bad happened.”

“Oh, man. I was hoping he was dead.”

“Shut up,” she said. “Also, I don’t think my sister will ever bother us again.” That, she wasn’t sure. She just wanted to be reassured even if it was by her own words.

Harry got up, hands slipped into his pockets. “Sooo...how was your date?”

Ezili pretended she hadn’t heard that question. “Why are you still up?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Had too much coffee earlier.” Then repeated, “How was your date?”

“It was fine,” Ezili said. "Why did you show up?"

"I was just making sure you wouldn't cause any trouble? Your name is tied to mine now, in case you've forgotten."

"How can I? You literally remind me of our fake relationship every two seconds."

“Why are you so pissed off?”

“I’m not.”

“You clearly are,” he persisted.

She let out a sigh, about to just go upstairs and ignore him for the rest of the night, but this one question kept tugging at her. So she had to ask.

“Have you ever been in love?”

Harry looked confused for a second. “No. Never. I think I’ve told you about what happened with my exes.”

“But did you love them at one point?”

“Well, I thought I loved them,” he said. “But looking back now, I don’t think I know what love is. It’s just...a lot of times, I want to be alone. Just me and Chilli. If someone enters my life and stays around for too long, it makes me uncomfortable.”

“But I’m also living here. We see each other all the time.”

“It’s not like I have a choice to kick you out,” he said, then instantly looked regretful.

Ezili padded across the room and stopped in front of him. “Why would anybody want to be alone?” She knew she didn’t. She was doing all this just to be accepted by her kind, but he, who had everything from fame and wealth to a supportive family, wanted to be left alone?

“You’re not the first girl to ask me that,” he said with a grin. “I think it has a lot to do with how I was brought up. I feel like everyone has these certain expectations for me, and when I don’t meet those expectations, I disappoint them. I just want to be by myself so I can just be me. I don’t want to adjust myself to the presence of others.”

Ezili nodded then moved a bit closer.

“What are you--”

She surprised him by placing her palm on the left side of his chest. Her skin tingled with the sensation of his little unsteady heartbeats when she came near. “But there’s nothing here,” she mumbled as if it would make sense to him. “You were telling the truth.”

“What do you mean?” Harry let out a nervous laugh and reached for her hand, which she withdrew before he could touch.

“Nothing.”

Harry’s smile faded. “Did Dawson say anything about me?”

“No. We hardly talked about you.”

“What about your sister? Why is she here?” he kept asking when she brushed past him and headed for the stairs. “Does your mother want you back? Ezi, what happened tonight?”

“Nothing,” she lied. “I’m just tired. Goodnight, Harry.”

“Ezi,” he said, his voice soft and pleading as if he could love her for a moment. But how could he? How could a man, who had lived his whole life without falling in love and prided himself on his loneliness, ever fall in love with a siren? He’d said he’d wanted to kiss her again, but there he’d stood in front of her and claimed her presence in this house made him uncomfortable. Then when her hand had been on his heart, she had felt nothing.

So had he lied about it? Humans lied about how they felt all the time. If they could lie about wanting to spend the rest of their life with one person, they could lie about wanting to kiss a siren.

Maybe, just maybe, Ezili should consider her sister’s offer.

[sagemoderocklee]

2, 17, 25 and 33

Also, how are you feeling?

thank you for asking these questions and for checking on me! i'm recovering... it's been rough, ngl. I'm very grateful that I'm vaxxed, because it was definitely not an easy experience getting covid. I'm still sick--coughing, sore throat, weak, fatigued, general congestion and such. But tragically, I am back at work--I went back yesterday, and it's proving to be a challenge. I get winded easily--even talking--and I'm just generally so weak that being on my feet all day is much harder than before (and it wasn't exactly easy before with chronic pain). i am on the mend, and im hoping to get better as the days progress!

onto the questions:

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

oh man. that's a hard question. i have always loved writing. i did my first piece of independent creative writing when i was seven, and i just... always remember being into it. When I discovered fanfiction as a teen, it just kinda seemed like a fun, self-indulgent hobby, and then i got more invested in it and just kept doing it. I think it's like with any creative thing. it brings me joy. and i stick with fanfiction because even with all the work i put into my stories, it's still less work than original stories so it's easier to do when I'm coming home from work. plus it's fun to work within media i already love and have an attachment to, and i love the challenge of coming up with different scenarios for the same two ppl to fall in love in lol

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

A/B/O is def a top contender. Also soulmates. Hate soulmate AUs. utterly boring. cannot get over how bad the concept of like soulmate marks and all that shit is. i don't want my characters together by fate i want them together by choice. that's romance. only soulmate type thing i'd ever write is a deconstruction of the trope.

i actually have a deconstruction, but it is tragically a Harry Potter fic that will probably never see the light of day given JKR is a terf, a racist, antisemitic, etc.

if i can ever figure out a good idea for a GaaLee soulmate deconstruction, i will, but so far HP was just so primed for it--i mean given that love potions exist, it provides such a good base for discussing the concept of love and free-will, and applying that to the fandomized concept of soulmates... anyways im rambling.

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

Yes, actually! I have a lot of stuff for Absolution that I might even post someday. I have two side-stories that were just writing exercises to help me out of a slump/work through a problem in a scene. Both are just scenes that took place when Gaara wasn't around. One is between Lee and Temari, one is between Lee and Kankuro.

but I'm very attached to the Absolution timeline, so I also have some stuff in my head for after the events of the fic itself, so it's very possible I'll write some extra stuff to share if folks are interested in seeing it.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

Uh. I don't know why I'm so stumped by this, but I really cannot think of anything. I think I made it pretty clear that most of my work is research heavy, so I honestly cannot think of... anything else I'd wanna say? My brain is also mush, so maybe there's something but it's really not jumping out at me.

EDIT: i figured out what i wanna say for this!

All of my canon-verse fics (TAoL, Absolution, The Ballad, PomSun, 13S etc) are essentially just AUs of each other. It’s all the same versions of the world, the OCs all exist across each fic whether you see them or not, and the only difference really is just the story that’s unfolding.

Like in TAoL Rurriwa is never under attack by pirates because of what’s happening elsewhere in the shinobi world, but Rurriwa exists, and if there’s any characters from Rurriwa that get mentioned or show up (hint this is a spoiler) they also exist, they just aren’t relevant to TAoL.

So I tend to put lil easter eggs in fics, like name droping OCs or places. Ruri (not Temari and Shikamaru’s baby), who first appears in TAoL--she’s the fried abalone maker Lee befriends at the fishmarket--has a cameo in Absolution. She doesn’t get named in Absolution, mostly to avoid confusion since she and Ruri (the baby) share a name, but she’s the woman at the festival that Temari buys mackerel from. ‘Ruri’ means lapis lazuli, which is a reference to Karura, and per my worldbuilding, Karura is from Gyokukakushin, and so Ruri is a common name in that region of Wind because lapis lazuli is a very important stone in Wind overall--ya know as an example of all this interconnectedness