#getting nice messages now; part of it feels like getting a letter that was sent from 5 years ago and only receiving it now

[covenofagatha]

Sugar, spice, and everything nice (Part 3)

Word count: 3100

Warnings: semi-public sex, sex toys, masturbation

You spend almost all of Saturday and Sunday at the bakery, just waiting for Agatha to walk in. 

She never does. 

It was especially hard on Saturday, opening up the box full of sex toys she had sent you and then having to come into work just an hour later, being more turned on than you ever had in your life. The only thing you were looking forward to was Agatha walking in and smirking at you. You were sorely disappointed.

So much so that you hadn’t even found it in yourself to use the toys she had sent. The vibrator, dildo, clit-sucker (you had finally figured out what it was), and the long distance vibrator had sat in the box on your floor for the whole weekend, you trying to not look at it whenever you walked in. 

Was Agatha worried she had made a mistake? You hadn’t texted her Saturday morning upon receiving the package, assuming she’d be in the bakery that morning, but now it seemed too late to send a message. 

Now it’s Monday and you’re supposed to go on a date tomorrow. Maybe you can wear the vibrator on Tuesday. Even just thinking about her letter sends thrills down your spine. 

Is the date still on though? 

And then the door opens and in walks Agatha. Your breath catches in your throat and you stand up off your stool. She is stunning. 

She shoots you her signature smirk and all of your worries and doubts just melt away. 

“Hey, doll,” she says, coming to a stop in front of the register. 

“Agatha,” you sigh. “I haven’t seen you all weekend.” 

She runs a hand through her hair and you find yourself transfixed. “Sorry, sweetheart. I got a new case and it’s very time-consuming. I kept trying to get away but I just couldn’t.” 

And then you feel bad, because of course the excellent lawyer was working and wasn’t avoiding you. 

A glint appears in her eyes. “Did you have a busy weekend?” 

There’s only one thing she could be possibly talking about in that tone with that look on her face. Your cheeks redden and you look at the counter, wiping an imaginary speck of dust off it. 

“I-uh-haven’t actually used any of them yet,” you answer sheepishly. You dare to meet her eyes to see that her smile has gotten bigger if possible. 

“You haven’t? Why not?” 

You shrug, too embarrassed to tell her that you were worried she was icing you out. It sounds stupid now, with her standing right there, but your thoughts tend to get the best of you when you’re alone. 

“Do you need some help with them?” Agatha asks and you choke on nothing. You open and close your mouth a few times, not able to think straight but trying to formulate some kind of response, when she tosses her head back with a laugh. “I’m just joking, doll.” 

“Do you really want me to wear the vibrator tomorrow?” Your voice falls to a hush even though it’s only the two of you in the store. 

“You aren’t wearing it right now?” She teases and you gasp at the thought of her toying with you while you try to make coffee and talk to customers. 

“No,” you squeak and shake your head furiously. “I didn’t know-”

“I’m kidding, doll,” she assures you. “Wear it tomorrow only if you want to. It connects to an app so you’ll have to send me the code on the manual once you open it. If you want to, of course.”

“I do,” you say hoarsely, feeling a flush all over your cheeks and neck. She smiles triumphantly and taps the counter. 

“So, where are you taking me on our next date?” 

You had actually spent a lot of time trying to figure it out. Obviously, as a college student making just above minimum wage, you couldn’t really treat her to a nice restaurant and you weren’t quite sure what she liked to do. 

So you were settling for something simple. 

A nice picnic in the park to watch the sunset. Maybe go for a walk after. Quality time is very important to you and you wanted to just be with the older woman. 

You hoped it would be good enough for her. 

“It’s a surprise. Pick me up at 6 tomorrow?” Not super classy to make her come get you, but you’d much rather ride in her slick, black Range Rover than have to pick her up in your ten year old Subaru. 

“Any plans for after the date?” She asks casually. 

Your mouth opens in mock outrage. “Do you think I’m the kind of girl to have sex after two dates?” With her, you are. You hope she says yes. 

She smirks. “You seemed pretty desperate for sex after the first date, sweetheart. We don’t have to do anything though. We could always go back to my place and just watch a movie.”

“That would be nice,” you admit, even though you know you want her hands on your body. Fuck, if she wanted to come around the counter and slip her fingers into your pants right there and then, you wouldn’t be opposed. 

She seems to know where your head is at and by the darkening in her eyes, she is feeling a similar sort of way. “And if you wanted to, you know, bring those toys…maybe we could finally put them to good use.” 

Your eyes widen and you nod eagerly before you can stop yourself. She chuckles. 

“Alright, well I guess I’ll see you tomorrow night at 6,” she says, drumming her fingernails on the counter one last time before shooting you a wink and leaving the bakery. 

“Don’t you want-” Your attempt to ask if she wants coffee or cake falls upon deaf ears as the door opens and she’s gone. 

You breathe a sigh of relief that she was just busy the past two days. And you’re sort of mad that you wasted those last two days not using the toys she had sent. 

But that would end tomorrow. 

Heat was already igniting in your stomach at the thought of it. You had never used a toy before and you were especially looking forward to trying the long-distance vibrator. 

The rest of your shift is pretty quiet, not too many customers either on Mondays. 

When you get back to your dorm, though, you realize that you are positively dripping. You guess your interaction with Agatha had more of an effect on you than you realize. 

You chew on your lip and your eyes keep darting back and forth between your bed and the box of toys on the floor. 

It couldn’t hurt to test one out, could it?

You grab the box with the vibrator and open it. Glancing at the instructions, you press the power button and gasp as the purple toy buzzes to life in your palm. You turn it off, heart pounding, and lay down. 

You close your eyes and remember what it was like to kiss Agatha at the Winter Wonderland the other night. Her tongue in your mouth, her sucking your lip, her hand under your shirt. You shift and hike up the skirt you were wearing and place the vibrator on your clit over your underwear. 

A whimper is forced out of your throat and your back arches off the bed. Quickly, you pull it away. 

Holy fuck. 

You’ve never felt anything so intense. 

You take a deep breath and slowly place it against you again, mind wandering to Agatha. 

Her veiny hands, her mouth, her confidence, the way she fluffs her hair. You imagine the way her fingers and tongue would feel on you. Your hips are rolling against the vibrator – that she gave you – and you’re already close. You truly cannot believe you’ve never used one before. 

You cum harder than you ever have by your own hand at the wishful thought of Agatha laughing as she holds the vibrator against you. 

It takes you a second to calm down and when you turn the toy off, you can still feel the rumbling in your hand. 

And then you reach for your phone. Just used the vibrator. You click send before you can second-guess yourself. 

Agatha’s response comes immediately after. And? 

Changed my life lol. 

She doesn’t reply for a few minutes so you go wash the toy, but when you come back, there’s a new message. 

Just wait for tomorrow night, doll. 

Heat flashes through you and you seriously consider using the vibrator again. 

But you want to wait. You can wait. 

However, the next 24 hours pass so slowly that you think time might have stopped. 

There are countless times you look at the clock, expecting an hour to have passed, only to find that it was three minutes. 

It’s like being a child on Christmas Eve again. Except instead of presents, you’re waiting to get fucked by an older woman. 

Finally, finally, she texts you that she’s on her way and to get ready (she sends a winky face, as if there’s any doubt what she means). 

You’re wearing a short lilac skirt so you bunch it up with one hand and slide your underwear to the side. You’re already wet just at the thought of seeing Agatha so you’re able to slide the bulb easily into you. It’s not too big but you can definitely feel it deep inside you. The other piece rests against your clit and you can only imagine what it will feel like when she turns it on. 

You find the bluetooth connection instructions on the instruction manual and text it to her. 

Barely a second later, she texts back Good girl. I’m about to turn into the parking lot. 

It’s going to be a long night. 

You wait until you see her car pull up before exiting the building, and as you’re walking to the car with the basket of food and a backpack with all the toys and some extra clothes, she turns it on. You almost fall to the ground. Thankfully you were holding onto the dinner tight.  

If you thought the vibrator from yesterday was intense, it’s nothing compared to the sensation of it against your clit and inside you. 

And just as quickly as the feeling came, it’s gone. You gasp and stumble hurriedly the rest of the way to the car before she can do it again. 

Agatha’s smirk is dripping with smugness. “How does it feel?” 

“Fuck,” is all you can say and she laughs. 

“Fuck, indeed. Now, where are we going?” 

You give her directions to the park. It’s in a pretty secluded area and there’s never really anyone there when it starts to get dark, so it should be empty. Even if it’s not, you’re just having a picnic. 

And just as you suspected, there’s no other cars in the lot when Agatha pulls up to park.

“What are we going here, sweetheart?” She asks, curiosity tinging her voice. She’s not judging though. You knew she wouldn’t. 

You hold up the basket. “I thought we could have a picnic?” 

She smiles. “I think that’s an excellent idea, honey.” You lead her over to a spot by the perimeter by the hand and don’t let her do anything while you shake out the blanket and take out two plates of sushi and a bottle of wine. You pour her a glass while you finish making everything perfect and she watches you amusedly while sipping on the Rosé. 

Dinner is so comfortable and filled with laughter and jokes and questions, and once you both are done with the food, you lay down on the blanket, Agatha’s arm around your shoulders and her other hand pointing out the constellations to you. 

She shows you how to always be able to find the North Star, which is in Ursa Minor, and then points out the Big Dipper, and you lose yourself in watching her point to all the stars and hearing her tell you the stories. You’re having so much fun with her and she makes you feel at peace. 

“I didn’t realize you knew so much about astronomy,” you say in awe, focusing on her face rather than what she’s showing you. She turns her head down so she’s looking at you. 

“Have you been listening or have you been staring at me the whole time?” She jokes, kissing your nose and chuckling as you scrunch it at her. 

“I’ve been listening!” 

“Oh yeah? What’s that one then?” She points at a star and as you peer at it, her finger fumbles with something and the vibrator inside of you turns on, turning your thoughts to mush. 

You had honestly forgotten that you were wearing it. 

But it’s impossible to forget now, and your fingers dig into her side and you let out a quiet moan. 

“Agatha,” you whine when it turns off. 

“What constellation is that?” She turns it on again and your hips start undulating involuntarily as you rack your brain. Your eyes frantically dart to the surrounding stars as you start whimpering. 

“Andromeda?” It’s partly a guess but you do remember her saying something about that one. You can vaguely remember the story too. Something about her mom being vain and then Andromeda being chained for a sea monster but Perseus rescues her. 

The toy turns off and you gasp for breath. Your hips are still gently riding against nothing, missing the stimulation. 

“Very good,” Agatha muses. “How are you feeling?” 

“Why don’t you feel for yourself?” You challenge but your smirk turns into a gasp when she reaches over, pushes up your skirt, and rubs your slit over your underwear. Your hips chase her fingers but she pulls away. 

You are throbbing. 

She holds her fingertips up to the lamp and you both can see them glistening. You have soaked through your panties. Before you can say anything or be too embarrassed, she sucks them into her mouth and your jaw drops. She moans at your taste and when she opens her eyes, you can barely see the blue with how blown out her pupils are. 

“Can we go?” You rasp. 

“Sure, doll,” she says and helps you pack up so the two of you can get in the car faster. You’re checking the spot one last time just to make sure you have everything when Agatha turns the vibrator on. Your knees buckle this time because of how needy you are, but she catches you. 

“Agatha,” you breathe, pleasure overtaking your body. 

“Thought you wanted to leave?” She teases innocently and you wrap your arms around her so you can try to walk because she hasn’t turned it off. 

You’ve become a moaning mess, face pressed hotly into Agatha’s neck while she basically drags you to the car. You can see goosebumps on the older woman and you can hear her breathing get heavier so you know she’s at least a little affected too. 

“Please, please, Aggie, so close,” you babble and it seems like the car is a mile away. 

“Aw, does my baby need some relief right now?” She asks, and as pathetic as it is, you nod your head eagerly. She turns it off and you’re able to stand on your own, but Agatha takes off in a different direction of the car. 

“Where are you going?” You call after her, but then you realize she’s making a beeline towards a bench. You follow in a daze, not really sure what’s going on. She sits and pats her thighs. 

“Since you’re so desperate,” she says with a smirk. You think you might cum right then and there. She spreads her legs when you get closer so you’re able to straddle one of her legs. “Grind.” 

She doesn't have to tell you twice. You wrap your arms around her neck and bury your head back into her, moving your hips experimentally. 

And then she turns the toy back on and you rip your face out of her shoulder to bite your hand before you moan loudly. 

“Fuck,” you keen, rhythm getting sloppy but she moves her hands to her waist to help you out. 

“You like this?” She pants into your ear and your resounding moan is all the answer she needs. “You like riding my thigh in a park where anyone could walk by and see how much you need me?”

You nod frantically, every single drag against her leg pushing the vibration against your clit. It feels so delicious and you’ve been on edge all day. 

“So desperate for me, so desperate for mommy,” she whispers and her voice shakes a little on the last word, almost like she was nervous. Clearly she had nothing to be nervous about though, because your walls clench even more and you let out a loud whine. You can practically hear her smirking at you. 

“Mommy,” you gasp, moving your hips faster, chasing your high. “Need to cum, so close.” 

“Do you want to cum all over my leg right now?” She says lowly, peppering your jaw with kisses. 

“Please, please, yes, mommy,” you beg. Agatha grabs your chin and tilts it up to lean in for a kiss, but she stops a breath away from your lips. 

And then the vibrations stop. 

“No, no,” you cry, furiously grinding against her leg, trying to regain the stimulation that you just lost. It’s no use; it’s not the same. Her fingernails dig into your hip to stop your movements. 

Your head drops against her shoulder in frustration and you can feel her body shake with contained laughter.

“Why?” You ask and you’re almost ashamed of how needy you sound. Her thumb swipes your bottom lip and then brushes your sweaty hair off your forehead. 

“I’m not having the first time I make you cum be on a park bench using a vibrator,” she says matter-of-factly. “It’s going to be in my bed, with either my fingers or my mouth.” You bite your lip at the thought and your hips give another weak jump. She smirks. “After that, we’ll have all the time for toys in the world.” 

And with that, she stands you back up and pulls you to the car, intending to make good on her promise. 

[avatar-anna]

Unknown Number

someone made a request about reader accidentally being given harry's number, but i accidentally deleted it, so if you requested it, here it is!

(the text chain will be from harry's point of view)

italics: y/n (unknown number)

bold: harry

Part Two

Part Three

Unknown Number (UN): heyy. i had a really good time the other night. maybe we could do it again sometime? xx (click to download image)

Harry Styles (HS): How did you get this number?

UN: you gave it to me?

UN: last night at the pub? marcus, right?

HS: No. You have the wrong number.

UN: is this a joke? are you fucking with me right now?

HS: No.

UN: oh my god

UN: i feel like such an idiot

UN: one of the first times a guy gives me his number at a bar and he gives me the wrong number

UN: probably on purpose too

UN: i should've known when he left his OWN APARTMENT the next morning but i was actually hopeful

UN: and now i've made an ass of myself here too. sorry to bother you i'll leave you alone. sorry again

(one hour later)

HS: It's okay. Sorry about that guy. Sounds like a jerk.

(twenty minutes later)

UN: it's fine, i guess

UN: i wasn't in love with him or anything but he could've had the decency of expressing his disinterest himself instead of hiding behind a fake number.

HS: That is quite a dick move.

HS: I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't expecting that text. I didn't open the picture either by the way.

UN: thank you. for a moment i was worried i was messaging a creep, but hopefully you're not a creep

UN: i mean you could be still and i'd have no idea

UN: maybe i should stop texting you

(ten minutes later)

HS: I'm not a creep.

UN: that's exactly what a creep would say

HS: I don't really know how to prove it to you. You're the one who sent me a photo of yourself half naked. You could be the creep.

UN: you said you didn't open it!

HS: I was trying to be polite!

UN: great now some 40 year old living in his parents basement has one of my nudes

HS: I'm not 40! And I don't live in my parents basement

UN: you text like an old man

HS: wuld u rather i txt like ths???

UN: no but i'm just saying i don't know many people my age who use proper punctuation in text messages

HS: Well I might not be your age, but I'm certainly not 40

UN: "certainly not." you're right. you sound like my grandpa

HS: I suddenly regret restarting a conversation with you

UN: you know despite the fact that you might be catfishing me, i've enjoyed this. i feel like i'm doing what all the other teen girls did in high school at sleepovers

HS: So you're out of high school.

UN: creep!

HS: You outed yourself, that's not on me.

UN: you...might be right

UN: can you tell me something about yourself to make it even? there's always a possibility that you could be lying and i have no reason to trust you, but...idk i feel like i can

HS: Well that's stupid.

HS: But I suppose since I've already seen you partially naked...

UN: i'm blocking your number

HS: My first name is H, and I'm 20 years old.

UN: h? just the letter h?

HS: You could be a creep too for all I know

UN: fair enough. i'm june

HS: Full name? Wow, you really are a dummy.

UN: don't get your 60 year old panties in a twist. it's a nickname

HS: June is a nickname?

HS: And I'm not 60.

UN: june. june bug. that's what the folks call me

HS: Folks? Now who sounds old?

UN: whatever

(thirty minutes later)

HS: Well, it was nice talking to you, June. June bug.

UN: you too h

(three days later)

June (J): you're a guy right?

HS: I'm sorry?

J: well when i first texted you i thought you were a guy, but you weren't THAT guy, so i have no idea

J: i just assumed but i thought i would ask

J: plus i need solicited guy advice and if you're not a creep i would really appreciate it

HS: We're back to me being a creep?

J: it's a risk every time i text you

J: so? are you a dude?

HS: Yes.

J: great! can i ask you something?

HS: Um...I guess...

J: ok. would you ever get offended if a woman covered their drink during a conversation with you?

HS: I'm not following...

J: like say we're at a bar and we're talking and i turn my head away for some reason but i put my hand over my drink until i look back at you to prevent it from being spiked. would you be offended by that?

HS: No. Why?

J: see? i don't think that's unreasonable. some loser got mad at me for doing that. well EXCUSE ME for not immediately trusting the guy i matched with on tinder

J: who was not as cute in real life i might add

HS: You don't have the best taste in guys.

J: that is not advice!

HS: Okay, here's my advice: don't swipe right on guys who have mirror selfies in their profile.

J: ...

J: ok fair enough but it's not like prince charmings are falling from the sky. it's hard out here

HS: I'm sure.

J: what you don't have the same problem?

HS: I don't really date.

J: in like a douchey way? are you one of those guys who say they just fuck?

HS: I just don't have time for dating, I guess.

J: so no special someone?

HS: No.

(four hours later)

HS: If you asked for advice, does that mean I can too?

(one hour later)

J: sorry i was at work

J: and i don't see why not

HS: What do you think about guys who wear skinny jeans?

J: hm...i think styled right it could be nice

J: YSL is kind of pushing the whole skinny jeans and chelsea boots thing which might eventually trickle down to the losers i match with on tinder so...why not? i say dress how you want

J: any guy who has a good sense of style is sexy to me

J: sorry if that wasn't the answer you were looking for

HS: Yes and no. I've been experimenting with different styles. Sometimes I get a little in my head about it.

J: doesn't everyone?

HS: I guess you're right.

HS: Do you follow fashion shows and things like that?

HS: That's not too personal, is it?

J: no, but it's kind of embarrassing

HS: Not as embarrassing as sending a complete stranger a picture of yourself in your bra

J: harsh...but fair

J: fashion is kind of my religion

J: i'm trying to become a stylist. keyword trying

HS: That's cool!

J: tell that to my family

HS: they don't support you?

J: nope! but i'm gonna do it anyway!

HS: Do you have a favorite designer?

J: it kinda depends on the year and who was creative director at the time, but the first time i got my hands on vintage vivienne westwood i was hooked

J: you?

HS: I'm just starting to explore the fashion world I guess you could say.

J: well lucky for you i happen to be a bit of an encyclopedia when it comes to house codes

HS: House codes?

J: oh boy. i hope you're comfortable. we might be here a while

(two days later)

HS: Have you ever had rumors spread about you?

J: i don't think so

J: oh wait! in eighth grade this girl in my class told everyone i made out with a boy at the school dance which was NOT true

J: it was just a peck

HS: Naughty.

J: it was harmless. why do you ask?

HS: There's a rumor going around about me. It's just frustrating when people actually believe it. sometimes it gets to the point where i start to believe it myself.

J: i'm sorry. i won't pry or anything, but i know what it feels like to not be understood

HS: I just hate the feeling of being under a microscope. It's exhausting. I feel like my life isn't my own sometimes.

J: that sucks

J: sorry that was in no way helpful, but i don't really know what to say. is there someone you can talk to about this?

HS: ...

J: oh! i actually feel kind of honored

J: well, obviously i don't know the whole situation, but maybe try and surround yourself with people who don't scrutinize you so much?

HS: Easier said than done.

J: true but i think if you have a solid group of people who know you and understand you and like you for who you are, it's easier to deal with things like rumors and being under the proverbial microscope, you know?

J: and don't be afraid to get rid of the toxic people in your life! it's not easy but you'll be better off in the long run

HS: sometimes it's hard to tell who's toxic and who's not

J: start with the people who would never believe a rumor about you, or the ones who would never START one about you

HS: Well said, June Bug.

J: thanks! maybe i should entertain a career in counseling

(one month later)

HS: Why June Bug?

J: i was born in the summer. it was a nickname my grandparents gave me. been called that ever since

HS: That's sweet.

J: there are worse nicknames i suppose. i have a cousin that got stuck with chip because he used to stuff his face like a chipmunk when he was little

HS: Yikes.

J: you're telling me

(three weeks later)

J: have you ever danced alone in your bedroom to stevie nicks?

HS: Have you?

J: i have, and can i just say she does NOT get enough credit as a songwriter?

HS: Edge of Seventeen?

J: edge of seventeen

J: i went on a date last week with a guy who had the AUDACITY to call her music mediocre

HS: You didn't see him again did you?

J: ...

HS: June!

J: just once! and only because he had really nice hands

HS: I don't get how that would make you stay with a stevie hater...

J: REALLY nice hands ;)

HS: You disappoint me sometimes.

J: ;))))

(fifteen minutes later)

J: hey you never answered my question about dancing in your room!

HS: ...No comment...

(one week later)

J: you ever been in love, h?

HS: I can't say that I have. Have you?

J: no ://

J: i think i want it too much. i've always just been in love with the idea of falling in love, you know?

J: but the reality isn't what i thought it would be

HS: I'm sorry.

HS: It probably won't help but I'm sure you'll find someone. You seem like a great person. Anyone would be lucky to be with you.

J: aw h you're making me blush!

HS: But perhaps you should stop looking for love on a hookup app

J: annnd good feeling gone

(two weeks later)

HS: Guess who has two thumbs and got invited to Paris Fashion Week!

J: no fair!

J: and that joke doesn't work if i can't see you point to yourself. it doesn't work period

HS: I will let that slide because I know you're just jealous.

J: are you kidding me? OF COURSE i'm jealous! i can't believe you get to see Alessandro Michele's work up close

HS: Who?

J: don't think because we only communicate through text that i can't strangle you

HS: Relax. I'm only joking.

HS: Alessandro is a friend ;))

(ten minutes later)

J: sorry i just had to scream into my pillow

J: what exactly do you do again?

HS: I told you. I work in the industry.

J: but that could mean anything! the cosmetics industry, the movie industry, the meat packing industry...

HS: Meat packing?

J: you know what i mean!

HS: I do a lot of PR.

J: see. that wasn't so hard now was it?

HS: Can I go back to gloating?

J: only if you promise to give me a full report afterwards you go to all the shows

HS: Deal.

(four days later)

HS: Favorite movie?

J: that's hard...

J: it's probably cliche but the devil wears prada

HS: Good choice.

J: what about you?

HS: The Notebook.

J: really?

HS: Yes. Why?

J: do you say that to impress girls or because it's actually your favorite?

HS: Would you rather I have said a film with lots of car chases?

J: no

J: but i went out with a guy who was a film major once

HS: Is that a bad thing?

J: let's just say it won't be happening again

J: he thought he was superior for disliking popular movies. i hate that

HS: Well, I love The Notebook and I love Ryan Gosling

J: now THAT is something we can agree on!

(six weeks later)

J: BIG NEWS

J: LIKE HUGE

J: GROUNDBREAKING

HS: And here I was thinking you forgot about me.

J: i texted you yesterday

HS: You asked me if my dick could move on its own.

J: a legitimate question! i nearly had a heart attack when i saw it in person

J: but i was also weirdly fascinated. my question was purely scientific!

HS: You said you had news?

J: right!

(twenty minutes later)

HS: Are you making me wait to create anticipation?

J: no sorry i got a phone call.

J: i got my first real gig as a stylist

HS: That's great! Congratulations!

J: thanks

HS: You don't sound excited anymore. What happened to all caps?

J: my mother happened

HS: Still not on board, then?

J: she told me it was a waste of time and that i should get a real job

HS: You're still gonna take it though right?

J: i don't know. maybe she's right. the pay is less than ideal. more like i'm being paid in experience, and it's not the clientele i was imagining...

HS: But it's a foot in the door, right? That's something.

J: i guess

HS: Make connections. Get good references. And who knows, you might actually enjoy yourself.

J: you're right.

J: it's for some up and coming band that's going on tour. pretty sure i was what they could afford

HS: Don't sell yourself short. You're gonna do great.

J: thanks. i hardly even know you and you're currently my biggest supporter

HS: What happened to Bill?

J: ancient history

HS: What was wrong with him? He seemed nice.

J: yeah

J: his girlfriend thought so too.

HS: On behalf of all men: Sorry. We truly are the worst.

J: agreed. what about you? still single?

HS: Yes, though people keep trying to set me up on dates.

J: the horror!

HS: Ha ha

HS: I just want to meet someone on my own terms.

J: i get that

J: i just want to meet someone who's actually a decent human being

HS: I'll be on the lookout.

(three weeks later)

J: i think i've decided that tour life is not for me

HS: oh?

J: yeah. sitting on a bus for hours and hours with only myself to keep me company? no thanks

HS: it can't just be you on the bus can it?

J: no but i have a hard time making friends right away. and a lot of the crew for this tour are older than me

HS: are your clients nice at least?

J: yeah. one of them tried to hit on me, which i guess i should take as a compliment, but i am on the clock. no flirting for me

HS: a professional then. or are you not into the musician type?

J: not sure. i haven't dated one before

J: i told you that the other day

HS: right. must've slipped my mind

HS: but back to taste in men. is it all about looks for you or do you like funny guys?

HS: are you the type to sleep with someone on the first date? because i feel like that's very telling about a girl

J: who is this?

HS: what do you mean? it's me

J: it's not. you're not texting like a middle aged woman and you're acting like a total ass

HS: Sorry. I thought I'd try something new. And I was just curious. Can't blame a guy for asking right? You did send some guy you barely knew a picture of yourself

HS: It was very wholesome by the way. Maybe try a little more skin next time and you'll get the response you want. You can practice here if you'd like.

J: oh my god

HS: What?

J: this was a mistake. i'm such an IDIOT

J: was this some kind of prank?

J: whoever you are, you're sick

J: don't text me again

HS: June, I'm so sorry. That was my friend he was just being stupid.

HS: Last time I leave my phone anywhere.

HS: June?

HS: June please.

HS: That wasn't me I swear!

HS: I'm sorry.

(three weeks later)

HS: Day 21 of trying to get you to respond.

HS You probably blocked me which is fine. I don't blame you.

HS: But if you DO happen to read these and are just ignoring me...

HS: I'm sorry. Again. For like the millionth time.

J is typing...

HS: June?

J: i should've blocked you

HS: Why didn't you?

J: because as insane as it sounds, you've become a close friend

HS: I feel the same. I'm really sorry about before. I swear it was one of my mates. I would never say something like that.

J: that's what makes this whole thing crazy! i don't actually know you, so how do i know if i can trust you?

HS: I mean you even noticed that he wasn't texting like me. I would never ask you questions like that, June. I never have.

HS: And I do NOT text like a middle aged woman by the way

J: i guess that's true

J: i think it just doubled down the fact that we don't actually know each other. this whole thing is ridiculous if you think about it too long. it gives me a headache sometimes.

J: i know we've joked about it but...this could be potentially dangerous

HS is typing...

HS: I could send you a voice note.

J: you would do that?

HS: You're right. This whole thing is ridiculous but...I don't know, I trust you, and I consider you a friend.

J: a friend you say?

HS: That's all I'm willing to admit for one day

J: and what about tomorrow?

HS is typing...

HS (voice recording): Maybe tomorrow I'll admit a little more.

(one day later)

Y/n hated how much her stomach flipped every time her phone pinged with a new message.

It was so reckless and dangerous and utterly ridiculous. She didn't know who H was, she didn't even know what time zone he lived in, and yet she felt like she knew him.

And after hearing his deep voice—deep British voice—on the voice recording, Y/n determined that he wasn't some creep in his forties like she'd originally thought.

Since sending that voice recording, they'd sent each other messages like that all night. And by all night she meant all night. They stayed up late sending voice recordings back and forth. It was the longest conversation they'd held to date, which was surprising considering that they often missed each other during certain hours. Just based on what hours of the day they texted the most, Y/n figured H lived somewhere in Europe, which gave her peace of mind considering he couldn't exactly kidnap her if he was a whole ocean away. But the last couple weeks their schedules seemed to be lining up, though Y/n chalked it up to all the traveling she'd been doing lately.

One thing she was certain of was that she adored H's voice. It was soft and deep, but got raspier the longer they spoke. And at times he would whisper in his messages, like he had to keep his voice down. The hushed tones made her shiver.

Y/n didn't call H, and he never offered. But she wanted to, boy did she want to. No matter how terrifying that thought was. A full-fledged phone call seemed more...real to Y/n. With the messages, she and H were still in their little bubble. It was stupid, but she needed that bit of separation. She was becoming attached to someone she'd never met.

Walking through the halls of a stadium in Canada, Y/n pulled up past conversations with H. It was too embarrassing to admit to anyone out loud, but she felt like she really knew him. He was endearing, had a silly sense of humor, had good taste in music, and was honest. Well, as honest as either of them could be. Outside of the one slip up with H's friend, Y/n believed what he said to her over text. Maybe that made her naive, but their conversations were legit. He felt like a friend, and she knew he felt similarly.

Maybe tomorrow I'll admit a little more.

Y/n had no idea what that could mean. She of course knew what she wanted it to mean, but what she wanted rarely ever lined up with reality.

Y/n looked up from her phone to make sure she didn't pass the right door. The one in front of her read, Harry Styles in big bold lettering. She quickly hurried past and continued down the hall to where the dressing room for Five Seconds of Summer was.

Harry Styles was a bit of an enigma. Even though she was on the same tour as him and One Direction, Y/n hardly ever saw him. And when she did, his nose was always in his phone, completely closed off to the world around him. He just had this vibe that said, "don't talk to me," and Y/n received that message loud and clear. The Five Seconds of Summer boys seemed to get on with all the members of One Direction, but Y/n usually made herself scarce whenever they came by the dressing room, for no other reason than too much testosterone in one room.

"You want to come out after the show, Harry?" Y/n heard one of the boys ask. Michael.

"Um...No. I think I'll have to pass tonight, boys. Sorry."

"What? Big date tonight?"

"Something like that."

Y/n felt frozen to the linoleum floor. She knew that voice. She'd spent all night listening to that voice.

"Holy shit."

[feminist-space]

"The 80-year-old communications engineer from Texas had saved for decades, driving around in an old car and buying clothes from thrift stores so he’d have enough money to enjoy his retirement years.

But as dementia robbed him of his reasoning abilities, he began making online political donations over and over again — eventually telling his son he believed he was part of a network of political operatives communicating with key Republican leaders.

In less than two years, the man became one of the country’s largest grassroots supporters of the Republican Party, ultimately giving away nearly half a million dollars to former President Donald Trump and other candidates. Now, the savings account he spent his whole life building is practically empty."

...

One 82-year-old woman, who wore pajamas with holes in them because she didn’t want to spend money on new ones, didn’t realize she had given Republicans more than $350,000 while living in a 1,000 square-foot Baltimore condo since 2020.

By the time a Taiwanese immigrant from California passed away from lung cancer this year at age 80, she had given away more than $180,000 to Trump’s campaign and a litany of other Republican candidates – writing letters to candidates apologizing for not getting donations to them on time because she was going into heart surgery. She had only $250 in her bank account when she died, leaving her family scrambling to cover the cost of her funeral.

And a 78-year-old, a widow who limited showers to save on her water bill and canceled her long-term care insurance, didn’t understand why the retirement savings her husband had left her was dwindling so quickly. After CNN reached out to her family, they learned that the woman gave more than $200,000 in donations to Democratic political groups and candidates.

...

Richard Benjamin, an 81-year-old from Arizona, believed he had been in personal communication with former president Trump through all the messages he was receiving.

At one point, he told his children the former president invited him to a luxurious reception at Mar-a-Lago. He had grown up on a farm and worried he would feel out of his element at such a fancy venue. But when he received what he described to his children as an invitation to be a VIP at a rally in Arizona, he was thrilled he would finally meet the former president himself. He started making travel plans and asking his sister-in-law if she would like to accompany him, since his wife had passed away in 2018.

Later, he told his son how angry he was that Donald Trump Jr. wouldn't call him back even though the former president’s son had sent Benjamin so many nice messages."

[imahinatjon]

How it feels to be ignored PT1

Dazai & Chuuya ⛈️

In which they ignore you and it reveals some problems with your relationship

Part 2

Dazai

Its been over 24 hours now and he hasn't texted you back. You know he's okay because he's been online and he's seen your message - that and you asked Yosano to make sure he hadn't successfully died or something.

But nope, he's fine.

You don't think he did it on purpose, probably just quickly checked your message made a mental note to check it later, which he subsequently forgot about. Still, it hurts.

It also has you thinking. You've been in a relationship with this man since he was in the Mafia. You never were part of the Mafia, just someone he met during his time there, and someone he got into a relationship with.

Even when he ran away from the Mafia he kept things going with you, and even now he's part of the armed detective agency, he's still going with you, and you love him more than ever now. But it just doesn't feel the same.

You don't want to hog all his attention, but it somehow feels that he gives you even less attention now than he used too. He forgets about you often, doesn't reply to your messages, forgets that he agreed to come over, forgets when he's arranged to meet you.

You always message Yosano to ask if he's still there or if she knows where he is 30 minutes after the arranged time for your dates, and come to learn that he's perfectly fine, just caught up doing other things.

You just feel... left behind. Like your part of his past that he's slowly letting go of as he gets on with his new life. Just another thing for him to leave and forget about.

You even briefly wonder if there's someone else, but you trust him enough to not be like that.

It does little to provide you any relief though.

You can't take it anymore.

--------

It's been 2 weeks since he last saw you, your last date having been a quick walk through the park - which was nice, but... it didn't change your mind.

You decided not to arrange any plans with him after that, and wait for him to arrange with you. But he didn't. And so now? You head into the ADA office, ready to break up with him. Preferably not infront of all his coworkers, you will of course ask to talk in private.

Alas, he isn't there. Ranpo and Yosano are present in the office, talking by the formers desk, they catch sight of you by the door, both giving you a sympathetic look. Yosano knows what your here too do, and ranpo being - well, ranpo, you assume he knows too.

"He's out at the moment. You just missed him" yosano tells you.

"Oh..."

"You could... write a letter and leave it here? We'll make sure to give it to him"

"I... okay"

You reluctantly agree and yosano gives you everything you need to begin, even Pulling out a chair so you can sit at one of the current vacant desks to write.

And with the detective and doctor looking over your shoulder, you begin your letter.

"Dazai..."

Chuuya

Chuuya didn't usually ignore you, so when he did, you didn't worry too much. At least until it had passed 1 day mark, then you worried a little - you knew the nature of what he did, but also knew he could handle himself.

Still, it concerned you a little when you sent him a message on a day you knew he had no work and he still hadn't replied to you a day and a half later.

Now, you weren't an idiot, and knew what this was probably about - his work. He'd voiced his concerns before, at the start of your relationship, and again during - he's worried about your safety. It's why he rarely ignored your messages and even checked in with you often, he cares, a lot. That just happens to mean he also worries a lot too.

And he does this sometimes. Just stops replying to your messages, hoping you'll drift away and leave him - find someone new and much less dangerous. In the end he usually came back, apologising and telling you about how worried he was feeling and what his intentions were. And fine, sure... but, it had been upsetting you over and over for a while so whatever his reason was rendered pointless now - hell, shouldn't have even been a reason in the first place, it was a shitty thing to do. You know it, he knows it, even the clerk in the coffee shop you frequent knows it - she's been telling you to just do it and break up with him for ages "since that's what he so desperately wants"

She did clarify to you that she didn't mean that sincerely since he's proven time and time again that he doesn't want to break up with you, but she also said that you can't keep doing it. Can't be trapped in an endless cycle that was clearly impacting you more than you initially realised.

You listened to her, because of course you did, there was sense in what she was saying. He cared about you and you cared about him, but you needed to take care of yourself first and foremost - and staying around waiting for him to realise himself was not doing you any favors. It was an emotional rollercoaster.

And enough was enough.

So when he came back, it was the final time. On your doorstep in the rain, you told him it was over - just like he wanted.

You knew it was a lie, you knew that wasn't what he (or you) wanted, but you believed if to be for the best. You couldn't carry on.

And he accepted that. Played as though that's what he'd been waiting for this whole time. Bid you farewell and wished you luck in the future, before walking away, soaked in the rain.

Even if it made you feel a little bad, you didn't go chasing after him.

_________________________________________

My own boyfriend keeps forgetting to reply to me 🥲

I wrote this to feel better lol. Will check it at a later date for any errors and such.

[thinplacesradio]

stacked sound equipment and a radio with glowing green numbers. the image is distorted by VCR static. white text reads:

[026] THE SEEKER... A CALLER WAITS. THE SEEKER HEARS A VOICE ON THE RADIO.

listen here, or anywhere you find your podcasts. transcript under the cut:

[static, radio tuning]

[traveling sales rep: don’t touch that dial! We’ll be right b-]

[a high-register voice, not the Host’s:]

Car radio, yet again. Fixed, for now. It’s from a 2005 Honda CR-V, which I know is old, but, as you know, it’s been acting up for months now, um, and it finally just gave out on me. I don’t even know what worked to resurrect it here, but, well. [tools moving] The mystery of life, I guess. I’m sure it’ll start jumping stations again any day now.

[beep]

I could use a distraction so we are back to the transmitter. I’m building it from scratch instead of from a kit, uh, which basically means I’m just buying the parts that would have been in the kit separately, so I don’t really know if I’m saving money here or losing it. [tools clink] It’s pretty much kid stuff, but hey. It’s nice to go back to the basics sometimes, I guess. I think just to make it interesting I might take one of the old desktops to see if I can link it to some visuals? With different colors representing, I dunno, different letters, maybe? Maybe… make it so the words will show up as you tap the code in? Or I could just leave it with the binary, do kind of a black and white thing. I don’t know. [sigh] I don’t know.

[beep]

[phone ringing] [voicemail]

Hey, it’s me, you know what to do!

[beep]

[phone ringing] [voicemail]

Hey, it’s me, you –

[beep]

No one knows where she is, why does nobody know where she is. I - I think there’s something wrong.

[beep]

[phone ringing]

We’re sorry. You have reached a number that has been disconnected, or is no longer in service. To -

[beep]

I didn’t quit my job today. This isn’t really a project log, but I almost quit my job today, and I didn’t, and I, I think that deserves to be noted down, somewhere. I love what I do. But - doing it doesn’t seem as important anymore when I could be looking for her. I know I haven’t found a single thing, but that’s no reason to stop. I - [sigh]

I don’t know why I’m talking around it like this. Someone that matters to me is gone, and no one knows what happened, or why, or if - 

I wish she was just ghosting me, specifically. Like, that’s not something I want, at all, but I would take it if it meant that she was safe, living her life somewhere else. [sigh]

I don’t. I don’t think she’s dead. I really hope she isn’t dead. Sometimes I’d be at work glancing at the chat and there would be no new messages. Or at home with my phone on the table building myself a new desktop, and there would be no new messages. But I could still feel her on the other side, connected to me with that, I don’t know, electronic tether. Even when she wasn’t there, it helped knowing that she was somewhere.

That’s how it feels, still. I think she’s somewhere. I just don’t know where.

[voicemail]

Hiiiii, iris! Hi-riss! That’s nothing, sorry.  I texted you but I guess you must’ve lost track of time? I’ll just scale the building here and crawl in the IT window - you guys have windows, right? I feel like I imagine you in like a scifi basement most of the time. Anyway. I’m here, I’ll see you soon. Get down here before I bribe the security guard to let me in. I... yeah. See ya. I’ll be here.

[beep]

[morse code beeping] 

T-E-S-T. S-O-S. [pause] Where… are… you? 

Stupid, Iris. Just, stupid.

[beep] [equipment rustling, clinking, scraping]

It was, um, same company, different cities. I called her on the phone before I ported in to fix her computer, and she was – warm? Tired. Not exactly funny, but trying to make me laugh. I didn’t, but I thought about it, just to see if she’d laugh back? She messaged me on the company chat after, to thank me, and sent me a link to an article we’d been talking about while I worked on her desktop. I don’t remember what it was about even though it feels like I should. There are a lot of things I’m already forgetting. But I messaged back, and then we didn’t stop messaging. Until eight months ago.

I always want to know more about everything. Too much, probably. I can never stop digging. But she was the only one who really wanted to know more about… me.

I’m glad I got to meet her, but - I was supposed to keep meeting her - I - 

[beep]

[morse code beeping]

Don’t… be… dead.

[beep] [equipment moving aggressively]

Rob told me today that if I’m not going to go out for drinks with them after work anymore my only hobby can’t be looking for someone who’s been missing for a year. Really kind of insensitive, honestly. [huff] But I have been reading too many police reports, so today I will be starting a new project altogether.

[beep]

It’s the car radio, again, always the car radio. I should just buy a new one at this point, but then I’d never find out what was wrong with this one. Alright, okay, we’re trying scanning again, here we go.

[channels scan] [we hear the Sales Rep, and then the Host, cutting in and out:]

- Thank you for - feel - on - as always, our number is 71–

[Iris scrambles to stop the station but misses it. She tries tuning it back.]

Wait, wait wait wait wait. W-wait wait wait. 102 point 1. Oh my god. Oh my God. Wait. Hold on. 102 point - Wait, come back. Come back. 

I don’t – I don’t understand – [the road prov-] that’s Ha -

[beep] [keyboard clacking] 

I’m not the only person who’s heard her. There are people on subreddits talking about catching a radio call-in show on one frequency, exactly when they needed to hear it, but then not finding it again when they look for it, but just - How do I not need to hear it?

Here’s what I know about “the Host,” from what they know about the Host. Um, she’s always moving somewhere. She cares about her listeners. She’s experiencing impossible things, and so are the people calling in. And there’s a number.

Here’s what I know about my friend. She listened. She hated her job and always wanted a longer break. She loves pigeons and thinks that if aliens exist they’re single celled and acidophilic. She misses her mom. She was always reaching out for something. She was my friend.

[frantic music begins]

I know her voice, even if I haven’t heard it again. I know it was her, and I know I’m going to hear it again. I’m going to find the station. I’m going to find her.

[static] [Traveling Sales Rep: visit us at the - diner just off -] [Various Garbled Voices: the - road - provides - the - road - provides -]

Thin Places Radio is a podcast written by Kristen O’Neal and produced by Kaitlin Bruder. 

The voice of Iris is Kaitlin Bruder. 

The voice of H[static] is Kristen O’Neal. 

Editing and sound design are by Kaitlin Bruder, and the music track you heard in tonight’s episode is: Junoon by RANA. If you have a question to ask, a story to tell, or a suggestion for the host, give us a call at ‪(717) 382-8093. The lines are always open.

[Junoon plays]

[not-a-space-alien]

K&J x MMSS 3: Kane & Valen Part 8

Chapter 8 of the third crossover with @whumpsday!

Warning for this chapter: RIDICULOUS, dangerously sweet fluff

K&J masterlist

MMSS masterlist

K&J x MMSS crossover masterlist

SERIES IS 18+ ONLY.

Warnings:  Aftermath of torture, misgendering of a transmasculine character (non-malicious), offering sex as a favor (rejected), casual misogyny (in terms of gendered housework)

To be added to the taglist, contact @whumpsday

***

Jim leads Valen back downstairs and knocks on the door to the basement. "Kane, Valen's here. You can come upstairs, alright?"

He opens the door, and Kane comes running up the stairs to hug Valen, burying his face into his shoulder. Valen’s unsteady gait pulls them both down to the floor under the force of their collision. Both of them are crying, from sheer relief. Valen clings to Kane like he’s afraid to let go, chest hitching with strangulated sobs, hands roving Kane’s body–his hair, face, nape of the neck.

"I missed you so much!” Kane sobs. “I thought- I thought I'd never see you again!"

I don't know how you did this, Valen thinks, but thank you, thank you, this is twice now that you've rescued me.

Jim lets them have their moment for a bit, thinking it very sweet despite his extremely complicated feelings about Kane, before he asks, "Do you guys want a pen and paper? To talk, and stuff?"

Valen looks at Jim numbly. There'd been a time where his first thought would have been about how he could use persuasion to escape, but now all he can really think of is how foolish that is of Jim, and how Valen should protect Jim, despite the fact that the theoretical enemy here is Valen himself. Nevertheless, pen and paper would help him and Kane to communicate, and… Valen can simply not use it for persuasion. He doesn't feel the urgent need to escape from this place, not when Jim is so kind.

"Please. I'd love to talk to her. Thank you so much." Kane says warmly. "Thank you, thank you, thank you. I don't know how I can ever repay you. Especially after... what I've done to you. I promise I'll be good. We'll both be good." Kane's newest biggest fear is not just being sent back, but both of them being sent back. He hugs Valen tighter.

"It's... I wouldn't leave you there. Either of you." Jim fetches a pen and notepad and hands them to Valen. "Here ya go."

Valen beams as much as he's capable of while missing most of the skin on his face, but he immediately writes on the notepad in huge bubble letters and turns it around to show Jim it says

THANK YOU JIM

I LOVE YOU

Jim smiles awkwardly. "I'm glad I could help." He goes to make himself lunch, keeping an eye on the vampires from the kitchen.

Kane feels a pang of jealousy he knows is unwarranted. Jim saved and protected Valen. He could not. Of course Jim would get an I love you from Valen before he does.

It doesn't matter. They're together, and Jim is merciful, so everything is okay. Even once Jim starts hurting him, it'll be okay.

"I missed talking to you. That one day was nice, when we were free," Kane says with a smile. "I'm so happy we get to stay together."

Kane's words are happy, but Valen can see the slight dejection in his demeanor when Valen shows the positive message to Jim. He honestly hadn't even thought twice about how it would make Kane feel. He'd just thought that Jim might feel a little awkward about it, but he'd just wanted to show his gratitude as genuinely as he could.

But he saw the slight dip in Kane's countenance as he'd done it. It had been very brief, but Valen had seen that look before.

Valen flips to a new page in the notepad, scribbles something and turns it around to show Kane with wet eyes.

I've already told you I loved you many times before, you just couldn't hear it. I didn't realize I needed to say it. I love you.

Kane reads the paper with awe, tearing up again. "I love you too." he says softly. "And now you're safe. It's going to be okay, Jim won't hurt you, I think, even when he starts his revenge. I was the one who hurt him."

Valen's face falls. I don't want Jim to hurt you, he writes.

"I deserve it." Guilt floods through Kane. Jim has been so kind, even after what he's done. "I hurt him so much, Valen. I would beat him over the stupidest things, like talking out of turn or not calling me sir. I snapped his arm in half for trying to run away. He was so scared, all the time. I would do anything to take it all back."

Valen takes his hand and squeezes it, unsure of what to say. He's still a bit unsteady on his feet, but he follows Jim into the kitchen, where the human is making himself lunch. He takes a seat at the table, hoping that's all right.

He writes and shows Jim the notepad. May I ask what you plan to do with Kane? Valen is less worried about himself at this point. He's anxious about being a prisoner here, but Kane is right. Valen never hurt Jim, and he has no reason to hate him

Jim takes a look at the note. "I'm not gonna... do anything to him. I'm not gonna hurt him. Or you. But he can't leave, I can't risk him doing to someone else what he did to me. I'm sorry I don't really have anything concrete in place, I wasn't expecting this to be a... long term situation, like it's looking like it'll be."

Oh, that sounds all right. And it makes sense, with the way Jim had reacted to the sight of their torture. There would have once been a time when Valen would have despaired at the mention of it being a long term situation, just wanting to go home, but at this point he's just happy to be with Kane and being unhurt.

It takes a while with his unsteady hand, and with his propensity to….not be as concise as he could be, but he writes out:

That's very kind of you. I know you have the right to take revenge on him, given the severity of his transgressions against you, but I'm tired of having to watch people hurt him. I'm very grateful that you say that you won't hurt us. I think Kane will be very happy as long as you don't force him into the sunlight. It burns terribly, and we both were made to lie in it for days. As long as you don't do that, or send us back to the hunters, we will be happy being your prisoners.

Jim’s face falls as he reads the miserable note. And god, prisoners. It's true. With Kane, that feels okay. He was Kane's prisoner, now Kane is his prisoner. But this random vampire didn't do anything to him. But he can't just let Valen go.

"I won't, I promise. You're both safe here. Just... don't hurt me either and we'll get along fine, yeah? It'll be alright."

Despite Jim's apparent upset, Valen is extremely happy with the way the conversation is going, and tries to let it show, hoping that maybe Jim will see he's made the right decision.

Valen feels a little bad that Jim doesn't know he could use persuasion on him right now if he wanted to. It would probably make him feel terribly unsafe. Valen will wait until later to tell him, when it might upset him less. He has no particular desire to use persuasion at this point… it seems like everything is going okay, relatively speaking, and maybe down the road if something horrible needs to be averted he can try it, but for now... Valen doesn't want to hurt or scare Jim. Valen loves Jim so much, loves the kindness and compassion this man is capable of, and thinks he deserves the world.

He writes: Is there anything I can do to make us being here more pleasant? I know how to do women's work. I can't cook, but I can sew and clean. You can even have sex with me if you want to. I wouldn't mind. It might even be nice.

He feels a bit weird writing that last part, since sometimes people find it inappropriate to bring up, but Valen's barometer on that front is completely broken now. He just knows that men often want this from him, so he might as well bring it up.

And even though Jim says he's not going to hurt Kane... He does have every right to, or to change his mind about it later. It wouldn't hurt to do everything possible to put their captor in a good mood, and to make him want less to hurt them or send them back to the hunters. There is probably not much Kane himself can do to win Jim's favor, so Valen wants to step up to take care of him however he can, the way Kane did when Valen needed help

Jim's eyes widen as he reads the note, and he exhales a long breath. "Valen. I am never going to take advantage of you like that. I swear to god. Do you understand?"

Valen's eyes widen a bit in response to Jim's intensity. He nods. Okay, that's probably good, right? He sees it as taking advantage. That's what it would be. He'd almost forgotten. Jim really is a good person.

He points to the beginning of the note again, trying to ask but what about the rest of it? Cleaning wasn't really his favorite thing to do, but he actually enjoyed sewing sometimes when he wasn't being forced to do it.

"If it helps," Jim adds, jabbing a thumb at himself, "Super gay. I don't want to feel like you have to, like, pay me back for you staying here. Like you said, you're prisoners. It's not like you're here of your own free will. I don't even have anything that needs to be sewed, and you guys should just focus on healing up for now."

Valen has so many thoughts about what Jim has just said. Super gay. Good for you, that's so wonderful, that's so lovely, I love you. I'm actually a man, though, so that's not quite what you think you're saying, but it's going to be a whole thing to discuss that, so let's save it for later. It doesn't help, but it doesn't need to help, everything is fine. It was true that I really wouldn't mind it. Is that true? Maybe it's not true. I don't mind it with Kane though, if it's not Nick making us. Would I mind that? No I wouldn't. But that's not how sex is supposed to work, you're supposed to want it, not not mind it. Do I want it? Maybe that would be nice. Can we ask for condoms? That's probably the last thing we should ask about. But you don't sew because something needs sewn, Jim, I want to sew clothes for us, did you think I meant repair? I meant making clothes, so you don't have to lend us yours. I could make clothes for you. You deserve gifts. You're wonderful. I bet I could make clothes that would look nice on Kane. I bet I could make some nice clothes for myself. Men's clothes. I get to wear men's clothes here. We'll have to talk about that later. I want to make you feel at ease. If it helps.

His trainwreck of a train of thought is far too much to pick and choose what to write out so Jim can actually be subjected to it. If it helps. He picks up the pen and writes

If it helps, Kane has changed. I know he has. He knows he was cruel to you and he wishes he could take it back. I can't imagine him doing any of those things now. He has been nothing but extremely kind to me, even at cost to himself. My heart aches for how you were hurt, and the way you must be feeling, but rest assured Kane has nothing but good intentions for you now. He doesn't want to hurt you. It'll be alright.

Jim reads the note over a few times, absorbing the information. "...Thank you. That, that does help. Thanks. I'm glad he's been kind to you." To be honest, Jim has been a little worried about leaving someone so vulnerable, who can't even scream for help, locked in the basement with someone as violently abusive as Kane. This sets his mind a little at ease about that, at least. "It's not... really the same, is the thing. You're a vampire. You're a person to him, I'm not. It does help, though. Thank you."

That last part makes Valen so, so sad. Jim, you're a person, you've always been a person, Kane knows you're a person. Kane is so incredibly sweet and gentle and thoughtful and he would die for me and kill for me and cry when he thinks he's hurt me. Valen knows Kane used to be a monster, he knows what kind of monstrousness his kind is capable of, but he never saw it, it doesn't loom heavily on his mind like he's sure it does for Jim. He never saw any version of Kane besides his Kane, except for seeing him being rude in passing at a party, and hearing all the terribly cruel and unwarranted gossip about his condition.

Valen tries to smile at Jim, though he's sure it must look grim with the state of his face. He draws a heart on the page, tears it out of the notebook, and sets it in front of Jim.

Jim smiles and accepts the heart. "Thanks, Valen. You guys should probably get clean, though. You should avoid the face area for now. Bathroom's first door on the right upstairs whenever you and Kane wanna wash up. I'll put some towels and a couple extra changes of clothes in there for you. Lemme know if you need help with the stairs." He knows he needs to call Liz and tell her all about this mess. She still thinks he's killed Kane last night. He told her he would call her when he was ready. She's probably dying with anticipation to hear about how it went, and she's not gonna like the answer.

Valen gets up unsteadily and walks back to the living room, where Kane is. Upon seeing him, his heart feels full again. Kane is here, and Kane somehow knows how to make things better even in the worst circumstances, and that makes everything all right. Valen feels sad that Kane hadn't known Valen had always said I love you, but how would he know? Valen had never said it aloud, only to himself. Kane didn't know about the torrent of love Valen felt because it was too difficult to make him hear it every time it happened. But Valen could talk now. He needed something to let Kane know just how often he thought it, just how much he felt it.

He approaches Kane and writes Three taps = I love you. He shows it to Kane, then taps him three times on the arm.

Kane looks at Valen in awe, tearing up a little. He's never really felt loved like this before. He taps right back. "I love you too."

He hesitates a bit, trying to work up the courage, hoping he's not misinterpreting the situation. "Can I kiss you? Obviously not, um, not on the mouth though, because..." Valen's mouth is pretty nonfunctional right now. "If you want."

Valen nods vigorously, then leans into him, offering his forehead.

Kane gently takes Valen's face in his hands, fingers brushing lightly over the bandages, and places a kiss on his forehead. He then takes his hand, intertwining their fingers, and rests his head on Valen's shoulder. "Thank you for being in my life."

Valen taps on Kane three times. Then he slides the notebook over and awkwardly writes Shower? Jim said we should clean up. We are quite filthy.

"Yes. Please. I haven't had a shower in years." The hunters hadn't even hosed him off in the 2 weeks he spent there after their recapture, after he'd slept in the dirt mid-escape. "Please let's."

Jim helps them up the stairs when it becomes obvious they need help, points out the towels and fresh clothes, and leaves them to it. "I'm gonna go make a phone call." He moves off, leaving them alone in the bathroom.

"Do you need help washing, since you're injured?" Kane asks. "I could help if- if you want me to. Only if you're comfortable."

Valen nods happily. This is so wonderful. He starts to step up into the shower, but even with Kane’s help, ends up losing his balance and falling.

“Maybe we should take a bath instead,” Kane offers. “So we don’t have to stay standing.” They’d both managed to break their fast sometime in the past few weeks, but they’re both still relatively starved. Best not to push it.

Valen nods in relief. And…the idea of sitting in the bathtub together, tenderly washing each other, is too good to pass up. The tub isn’t huge, but it looks big enough for them both to get into at the same time.

Kane starts the water running, and washes his hands and arms in the sink so he won't dirty Valen further as he washes him. While the water runs, Valen takes his clothes off, the new ones Jim had given him, and folds them neatly up on top of the toilet.

When the tub is filled with warm water, Kane scoops Valen up and gently lowers him into the bath. "Is this okay?"

Valen is about to burst from how okay it is. He can't seem to stop blushing. He taps Kane on the arm three times, pauses, and then taps him again, pulling at his shirt, indicating him to come in.

"You want to wash together?” Kane asks. "I was going to go after. I didn't want to overstep."

Valen was always afraid to show this kind of affection in case there was no way to walk it back later. But… This is Kane, his Kane. He nods, swishing the water with his hands.

"Okay. I'd love to!" Kane climbs into the tub as well, sighing contentedly at the feeling of the warm water. "I missed this." He wets Valen's hair and begins massaging shampoo in. He's careful to avoid wetting Valen's bandages.

Valen closes his eyes at the feeling of his head being massaged. His throat makes the motions for a satisfied rumble, which comes out silent. After his own hair is nice and sudsy, he takes the shampoo and puts some on his own hands, and works it into Kane's hair.

They have to refill the tub twice as it darkens with blood and grime. Jim knocks at one point to announce he's left towels and extra clothing out for both of them.

At long last, they're finally clean. When they've dried off, Kane collects the towels and clothes–sweatshirts and sweatpants, boxers, fluffy socks.

"I can't believe I get to wear clothes again," Kane says in awe as he dresses himself.

Valen's heart breaks a little. Yes, yes wear all the clothes you want, Kane. We can do whatever we want now. We can wear whatever we want. We did it. He finishes wrapping the towel around himself and taps Kane again.

Kane is…surprised by just how extensively Valen is making use of the three taps sign. Had Valen really been thinking it this often? He takes Valen’s hands softly, rubbing them. The air is heavy and humid from the warm water. In the quiet of the bathroom, they can hear Jim talking on the phone distantly, but can't make out the words.

Kane is exhausted, physically and emotionally. "Are you tired? Do you want to share the bed?" He would sleep on the floor if Valen didn’t want to share, but he really, really hopes he does. Sleeping on a bed is luxurious enough, but with Valen?

Valen nods, squeezing his hands three times.

They go down. The two vampires struggle a bit down the stairs, but they're holding onto the railing and each other. "And Jim has me in the basement. The door is lined with silver, for his safety, but there's no painful things down there like with Nick. There's even a bed, and blankets."

Valen looks around for Jim, to thank him yet again, and show him how clean they look now. But the human is nowhere to be found. His bedroom door is shut. That's fair. Maybe he wants some privacy, or to get away from them a bit. Even friendly vampires can be scary.

Valen is ecstatic to see the shitty inflatable mattress. It has blankets. The two of them could probably fit on it together if they squished, which Valen wouldn't mind at all. He immediately crawls under the blankets onto the bed, feeling very, very cozy. There's also a half-bath down here, which is a good sign. A bathroom is something that a person would use.

Kane cuddles in bed with Valen. He also doesn’t mind squishing: it's the most comfortable he's been in a long time. "I can't wait to hear your voice again."

Valen is not sure when that will be. Jim is kind, but like anyone, he needs to feel safe. Jim has already been far more generous than anyone would expect of him, and it would be too much to ask him to let Valen speak when he knows Valen can use persuasion. The thought doesn't bother him as much as it used to. The notebook is plenty for now--he feels bad enough that Jim doesn't know he's already in danger of persuasion, technically, but Valen isn't going to do that unless something really bad is going to happen, like to save Kane or himself from the sun, and it doesn't seem like Jim wants to do that. Valen likes Jim, and he doesn't mind being here.

Valen snuggles closer and gives Kane three taps.

"I love you too." Kane says, nuzzling against Valen.

-

Meanwhile, Jim on the phone:

***

K&J x MMSS crossover taglist:

@barebarb

@cc1010foxy

@emcscared-whumps

@melancholy-in-the-morning

@pigeonwhumps

@secretwhumplair

@some-thrilling-heroics

@t0rture-me

@thecyrulik

@thejinglingcourtjester

@vehan-tikkun-olam-and-stuff

@whuarri

@whump-cravings

@whump-my-heart-away

@whumpycries

@wolfeyedwitch

@whump-addict

@why-not-ask-me-a-better-question

[cinnaminsvga]

omg so i saw your account pop up on that bit at the side with accounts to follow and stuff and immediately was thrown back

i don't know how long ago it was actually but based on the fact I've recently revived my own writing account after like 3 years away and forgetting tumblr even exists, but it's been at least that long since I last saw your account but immediate like nostalgia

this sounds terrible but i genuinely can't remember what exactly I read of yours (other than probably most of it back in the day) but I just remember you were one of my fave writers, i don't really read bts anymore because i'm up seventeen's ass these days but ima have to go through your masterlist and reread stuff for the memories now

im pretty sure that there was one specific fic series you wrote that you made group chats for on kakao maybe, i was there for it i just have terrible memory. now watch it turn out it wasn't even you that did that 🥴

i actually meant to send an ask last night when I saw your account and followed you (i think i used to follow you from my personal but idk) but it was late so I thought "hey let's wait until tomorrow when you can string together more cohesive sentences, yeah?" and then this shit show happened. but at least im not actually screaming at you in this ask like i probably would've last night

anyway, just wanted to just idek just sort of reminisce a lil and tell you that it made me really happy to see your account after these years even if you're not always active, it's nice to see that you still pop back now and then 💖

(I apologise for the mess of this. i'd say im usually more eloquent but that's a fucking lie, im a complete mess all the damn time <3)

WOAGH this was an unexpected letter in my inbox i'll tell you what (a pleasant surprise!) but hello hello welcome back and thanks for taking the time to send a message after all these years :D the tumblr algorithm, in all its mystery and dysfunctionality, sometimes makes little fun things happen like this lol

judging by your description, that fic series you're talking about is very likely "the lonely hearts club", which i suppose is an smau rather than a fic but yenno... it was something alright... if you were there during the peak of it, when i had kakao group chats for it... then it must have been 6 years since youve been around these parts (i posted that in 2018!! aint that a strange thing!!)

also, i appreciate all and every screaming ask sent my way HAHA this was actually very fun to read because like you said, i'm not very active on this blog, but getting messages once in a while is still a sweet treat!! nice to know that strangers on the internet just feel... compelled to talk to me, yenno?? especially you, who had somehow stumbled onto my patch of land by some algorithmic miracle :D it's nice reminiscing with ya!! if you really were here back in 2018, then you've known me a long time (even if you forgot most of it HAHA but i dont blame ya... my memory is pretty foggy even on a good day) so thanks for making a short stop my way <3

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Secret Lairs

A JSE Fanfic

SepticHeroes AU: Part 17

Previous Part

Totally didn’t forget to queue this last night and am now just posting this now, haha. (If you were here for me posting it live you saw Nothing!) Anyway. In this chapter Jackie has a meeting with Lorelai, a fellow Hero, and also one with Spitfire Cat, regarding the new SAM the League sent him. And yeah. Keeping it short this time. Enjoy :)

===============

“You get a lot of packages.”

“Huh?” Jackie blinked in confusion. “Well hello to you too. Good to have a nice greeting when I get home from work.”

Chase looked over at him from where he was sitting on the sofa playing video games. “Hello,” he said with a grin. “But seriously. Feels like you get a lot of stuff.”

“I guess.” Jackie looked down at the box in his hands. The mail worker on the ground floor of their apartment building had flagged him down the moment they saw him, telling him something had arrived that morning. He had a suspicion what it was.

“Do you order, like, clothes or stuff online?” Chase asked.

“Uh yeah. Various stuff.” Jackie nodded. “Hang on, I’m gonna see if this is what I think it is. If it is, I’ll be right back.”

“Cool.”

Jackie took the package to his room and began opening the cardboard box, slicing through the tape with a pair of scissors. He opened the flaps and found... a different box. White and green, made of sturdy plastic. Bold lettering across the front proudly read The Semi-Autonomous Machine - by SepTech. A clear window also revealed the product inside.

“Yes!” Jackie pumped his fist in the air. He’d thought this would be it! The League had said they’d be shipping a SAM out to all the Heroes in the county, after all. Even though those deliveries had been delayed, Jackie kept his eye on the calendar, knowing it would be soon. And when he’d picked up the package downstairs and felt how heavy it was, his first thought was a SAM.

The model inside the box was the size of a volleyball, its metal a dull gray. But not to worry! The back of the box listed several features, including customizable color. How was it possible to change the color of metal? Technology was amazing. Jackie was about to open up the box and take the SAM out when he remembered.

“When you get your Machine from the League, I need you to bring it to me. Before you turn it on, or even take it out of the box. I don’t want to keep it. I just want a friend of mine to look it over.”

Spitfire Cat had said that a while ago. And he’d reminded Jackie about it in an email.

Jackie hesitated, staring at the SAM through the clear plastic window. He’d initially denied Spitfire’s request. But... something had changed since then. Jackie no longer distrusted Spitfire. Well, he still didn’t trust him, either. He’d be an idiot to fully trust any villain.

Except that he’d trusted Schneep, even after finding out he was the Specter. That whole revelation had thrown his worldview into disarray. It was hard to maintain a solid line between do-gooders and evil-doers when you found out your friend and doctor was also a practiced thief. So, the question was now, did he blur that line even more for Spitfire Cat?

He thought about it. And then he sighed, and walked over to his laptop. As soon as it booted up he went into the burner email and sent a message to Spitfire. I have the SAM from the League. The Semi-Autonomous Machine. You wanted a friend to look at it right? Well now’s your chance. But only if I can be there to watch whatever’s going to happen.

“Jackie?” Chase called from the living room. “You okay in there?”

Right. He’d said he would be right back.

Jackie picked up the SAM box. No reason to keep this a secret. They were commercial products, not just some tool for the League. He carried it back into the living room. Chase had his game paused, staring at him. “Look what I got!” Jackie said, grinning.

“...no way.” Chase gasped. “Bro! How’d you get one of those?! They cost a fortune!”

“Well, it was a gift.”

“Who do you know who can just give something like that away? And can you introduce me to them?”

Jackie laughed. “Just someone from work. A work friend. I got lucky, really. They were doing a giveaway thing.”

“Bro.” Chase was completely stunned. “We have our own robot. It can do anything for us!” Sitting on the sofa next to him, Frosty lifted his head. He stared at the box Jackie was carrying and growled. Chase laughed. “Oh, sounds like someone’s jealous. C’mon, boy, you know some robot can’t replace you.” He scratched Frosty’s ears and he seemed to calm down. “But seriously, Jackie. That’s insane. Open it up!”

“Oh. Uh... not yet,” Jackie said. “I hear there’s a whole startup thing and I don’t really want to do that right now. I’m tired. Worked all day.” Not technically a lie. There was a traffic accident while he was out on patrol, and he’d stepped in to stop the car from going out of control and make sure everyone was alright. Nobody died, thank god. But there were injuries. After all that... he didn’t really want to think too hard.

Chase stared at him. Then slowly nodded. “Yeah. Uh, sure. It’s your Machine.”

“I actually prefer calling them SAMs. It’s an acronym for the name.”

“SAM!” Chase grinned. “Aw, that’s adorable! It’s like it’s your kid and you named them.”

“I was thinking more of a pet, but yeah.”

Frosty growled again, but was satiated with more scratches. “Have any plans for the night, bro?” Chase asked. “Wanna play something?”

“Maybe. I have to wait for a work email, but if that gets taken care of, sure. We can play Smash or something.”

“Nah, you have to mentally prepare to Smash. We can do Mario Kart or something.”

Jackie made a face. “You know what you were doing with that phrasing.”

 Chase flashed another grin. “Perhaps. We’re both adults here.”

“Yeah yeah. Ask me again after dinner. I’ll be in my room until then.” Jackie turned around and headed back to his bedroom, where he shut the door behind him.

He didn’t have to wait long for Spitfire’s reply. We need to meet up. This Saturday, head to 8915 Waterlow Street. There’s a pub at that address called Hannah’s Bar. Wear something to cover your face, but not your supersuit. ANYTHING BUT YOUR SUPERSUIT. And you should probably hide the Machine in a bag or something. Go inside and ask the owner for a ruby eye cocktail. When they tell you they don’t serve that, say, “I’ll pay extra if you look in the kegs.” They’ll take you into the back. Follow them, and don’t ask questions. Me and my friend will meet you there.

Well. That was sketchy as all fuck. And also inconvenient. I have plans on Saturday, Jackie replied. Does some other time work? Saturday was the day Lorelai—the Hero known as Pink Sunset—wanted to show him some surprise League welcome. And he was not going to miss that.

Spitfire responded within ten minutes. Sunday, then. Evening would be best, 4:30 or later. But show up no later than 7:30. We need to finish by eight. See you then.

Jackie had a bad feeling about this. But he supposed this was what he got for working with a villain.

===============

Saturday came quickly. Even though he was supposed to meet Lorelai at two o’clock, he left the apartment around ten. Lorelai had said it would take a couple hours to drive to this secret meeting place, so Jackie figured he could fly there in double the time. He said goodbye to Chase, telling him that he was going to meet up with some work friends and he’d be home late, then headed out.

Lorelai had messaged him the coordinates soon after their talk, and Jackie plugged those into the Red Line’s GPS function to tell him which way to fly. Northeast. Interesting. While there were some smaller suburbs and isolated business facilities around Daindover, the northeast was mostly wilderness. Just fields and forests for a while. Not even many roads, only a single motorway that cut through said fields and forests. His intrigue and curiosity made the flight over less boring.

He reached the coordinates at almost exactly two o’clock. Looking down, he saw a small dirt road, leading to a small dirt parking lot in the middle of a forest. A campsite? There were a few cars sitting in the lot, and when he flew closer to the ground, he saw... a woman in a familiar pink and orange supersuit. Lorelai. She saw him at around the same time, and started waving her arms. Light flashed in the air, harmless pink fireworks going off around Lorelai.

Jackie landed in the middle of the lot, and took a moment to catch his breath. Lorelai hurried over. “Hey!” she said, smiling. “You found it! Glad I didn’t mess up the coordinates, ha. Well? What do you think?”

“Uh...” Jackie looked around, still recovering from the extended flight. He was pretty physically durable, but four hours of concentration could wear anyone down. Not to mention the cold wind. “It’s... a forest.”

Lorelai chuckled. “Well, yeah. We had to be discreet. C’mere. This way.” She walked over to the nearest tree, and Jackie followed her, curious. “You’re gonna love this, watch.” Lorelai grinned at him, then reached up and grabbed a small branch. She pulled. A mechanical CHA-CLUNK! echoed from inside the tree, and then a section of it slid upwards, revealing a metallic inside.

“Whoa!” Jackie gasped. “Secret entrance.”

“Yep. There’s a few around here, inside that tree, and that one, and those two...” Lorelai pointed out the trees as she spoke. Now that Jackie was paying attention, he noticed how all these trees looked basically the same. The same size, and with the same small branch jutting out from the side. “They’re only big enough for one person, as you can see, so be warned if you’re bringing a big group here. Everyone should come at different times.” She stepped back from the tree. “Here, you use this one. Just press the white button and it’ll go.”

“Alright.” Jackie stepped inside. She wasn’t kidding about them being only big enough for one person. He couldn’t fully extend his arms. “So it’s a lift?”

“Yeah. I’ll take another and meet you down there.” Lorelai gave him a thumbs up. “See you down there!”

“Uh, see you.” Jackie looked around, and quickly noticed the panel with three different colored buttons: red, white, and yellow. He pressed the white one, and the tree-door slid closed. Then he felt the floor move. It was just like any other elevator he’d been in, just much smaller. He was glad he wasn’t claustrophobic.

A few seconds later, the door slid open again, and he stepped out into a large room shaped like a half-circle. The walls were painted a cool blue on the top half and white on the bottom, and the carpet had a design of different-sized blue and yellow polka dots on a black background. White bar lights overhead lit up the area in an even glow. The elevator was on the curved wall, and he saw four other small metallic doors that no doubt connected to the other trees above ground. On the curved wall were two bathroom doors and a wide-open archway, through which drifted some faint, upbeat music.

Ding! Jackie turned around and watched one of those small doors slide upwards. Lorelai stepped out. “Pretty efficient, huh? You’d never know we were twenty meters below ground.”

“Twenty meters?” Jackie looked up at the ceiling, imagining the earth pressing on it. 

“Give or take.”

“Huh. You’re right, I never would’ve guessed that. The elevator was pretty fast.” He looked back down. “Hey, what’re the other buttons in there for?”

“The yellow one stops and starts the lift, while the red one calls for help in case you get stuck in there,” Lorelai explained. “I don’t know why they have the yellow one, to be honest. Probably for maintenance. Anyway!” She grinned. “C’mon, this is the place.” She started walking towards the archway, gesturing for Jackie to follow, which he did. “Welcome to the League Lair.”

Jackie stopped in the archway and stared. This was a huge, open area, easily the size of a basketball court. Maybe two. It looked like someone had mashed together two restaurants with a lounge and a public gym.

On the left wall was a long counter with a buffet of food, and on the right was another counter that blocked off a kitchen from the rest of the area. Round tables and chairs were dotted around, clustered close by both these areas. In the back, partly cordoned off by a half-wall, were professional-grade workout machines, sleek and streamlined, and the very back wall had been converted into a fake mountainside for rock-climbing. In the middle of this all were sofas and armchairs, sitting on top of plush-looking rugs and accompanied by coffee tables and a few TV stands—with TVs and all their accessories. The ceiling was high overhead, with mounted lights giving off a bright glow. The walls were painted black, but hanging on them were several large, colorful framed pictures. The furniture was sleekly designed, all smooth white and grays with highlights of other colors.

“What the...” Jackie trailed off, stunned.

“Pretty cool, huh?!” Lorelai patted him on the back. “You’d never guess this was down here!”

“N-no, I—I didn’t even think about—” Jackie laughed. “So, is this place for Heroes to hang out?”

“Anyone who works for the League can get in. Did you bring your badge?”

“Oh, uh, no.”

“Bring it next time. There’s a scan that happens once you get in the elevator, it won’t go down if you don’t have one. Usually.” Lorelai leaned close. “I thought you might forget it, so I asked the maintenance guys to turn off the scan for, like, half an hour around two.”

Jackie laughed again. “Well, uh, thanks.” He kept staring at this giant room, this League Lair. There were people in here. Almost everyone was dressed casually, business casual at most. The one exception was a familiar face sitting on one of the sofas. “Is that Terra-Man?”

“Oh yeah, it is!” Lorelai said excitedly. “Hey, Josh!” She waved and started walking on over. Jackie hurried to follow.

Terra-Man—(his name was Josh?)—looked up at the shout and grinned. He wasn’t wearing his mask. “Ah, Lorelai! Oh, and young Windstorm, too. How’ve ye been?” 

“I’m not that young!” Jackie protested.

Terra-Man—Josh laughed. “I know, I know, jus’ messin’ with you.” He grabbed the TV remote from the sofa next to him and paused whatever he was watching. “Well? What d’you t’ink? Nice place, huh? Nicer t’an the one we have back home, I’ll tell you t’at.”

“Y-yeah. I’m... in shock.” Jackie looked around again. “Are those... comic book pages?” Yeah, those framed pictures were definitely comic book pages.

“Yep. You know how the League produces comics about the Heroes,” Lorelai said, taking off her mask as well. “The ones here are prints retelling the adventures of Heroes in this county. Greatly exaggerated, of course. And the Council members, too. My favorite is this one of Red Huntress and the Shadow over on the back.”

Jackie nodded. “Are there any of you here?”

Lorelai shrugged. “One. Over in the corner. But I think it looks great. You’ve only been a Hero for a little while, so I think they’ll start making comics for you about a year in? Unless you do something really amazing before that. If the art is good, it’ll be put up in here! We don’t have much say in that, to be honest, it’s mostly Marketing’s decision.”

“...wow.” Jackie was completely overwhelmed. He knew that Heroes had comics made about them—hell, it was how he’d heard about a lot of them—but it was really starting to sink in that he could have a comic about him. Kids could read about him the same way he read about others.

“Like I said, much nicer t’an the Lair back home for me,” Josh added. “We don’ have comics on the wall, or a rock-climbin’ section. Jesus, t’at’s insane.”

“When are you going home, anyway?” Lorelai asked.

Josh shrugged. “Whenever t’ey need me to. You know me. I love t’is place. Some o’the best Heroes t’is side of the globe are from t’is county, and I choose t’believe it’s because of all the great perks you have.”

“So you’re just gonna mooch for a while?”

“Ah, you know me so well.”

The two of them chuckled, and Jackie laughed a little too, trying to match the energy. It seemed to work. At least, the two of them didn’t look at him weird or anything. “Oh, I-I should introduce myself to you. I’m Jackie.” He pushed his mask onto his forehead. “And your name is Josh?”

“Got t’at right.” Josh gave a little salute. “Likin’ bein’ a Hero so far?”

“It’s not that different from what I was doing before, honestly. This, though...” Jackie gestured vaguely at everything around them. “...this is all new. How many of these are there?”

“Well, there’s one per county in the UK and Ireland,” Lorelai said. “I can’t tell you much about other countries. America has a lot, but I don’t know the specifics. One per state, maybe?”

“Uhhh some of their states are bigger than most countries, I doubt it’s that.”

“Point is, there’s at least one in any country where the League has jurisdiction,” Lorelai continued. “Gotta give the Heroes some place to have their free time. I'm here a lot. Love the rock-climbing, it’s better than any gym in my city and well worth the drive. Josh is gonna hang out here a lot, seemingly—” Josh raised his hand in acknowledgement “—but it’s mostly local Heroes. Moonstone came in here at least once, but you know her. Busy with national team stuff. It was crazy, though. We had an obstacle course set up that day and got the top time. Then she made it float and got the top time while it was floating!”

“Holy shit, while it was floating?!” Jackie gasped.

“While it was floating! I know, right?!” Lorelai grinned, bouncing on her feet. “God, you know, I’m so jealous of your city. The last two superheroes from there—before you, I mean—could control gravity and time, do you know how rare those are?”

“Oh yeah.” Jackie felt a swell of pride. “They’re super cool.”

Lorelai giggled. “You’re super cool yourself, you know? I’ve never seen anyone zoom through a probation period so fast.”

“Aw, thanks.” And now Jackie was blushing, flattered. Was he really that good?

“Anything you want to do while you’re here?” Lorelai asked.

“Whatever you do, can ye do it somewhere t’at doesn’ block the TV?” Josh asked.

“Oh come on, it can’t be good watching in this wide open room. The sound’s got to echo.”

“The echo adds character.”

Just then, Jackie’s stomach growled. “You know what? I think we’ll start with lunch,” he said. “What do they serve here?”

Lorelai and Josh laughed. “Just about anything, really,” Lorelai said. “And everything has different options for different food restrictions, too. Come on, menu’s this way.”

Jackie followed her.

He spent a good three hours checking out the various features of the League Lair, including the workout machines and some of the video games they had. Lorelai and Josh were fun to hang out with. He could almost forget they were Heroes that he’d admired from afar for so long.

He left around five, and probably should have left sooner. It got dark quickly on the flight home, and that meant it got cold. He was so glad his new suit had insulation, but even with that, his face was freezing by the time he returned to his apartment. He said hi to Chase briefly, then went into his room and fell asleep almost immediately.

This had been a good, busy day. But tomorrow would be just as busy... and maybe not quite as good. It depended on what Spitfire Cat had planned.

===============

“You’re going out again?”

Jackie paused as he walked past Chase’s open bedroom door. He glanced inside and saw Chase sitting in his swivel chair, facing the doorway. “Uh, yeah.” Jackie smiled. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back in time to do that editing on your video I promised.”

“Right.” Chase nodded. “So, are you going to work, or are you hanging out with someone?”

Anxiety jolted through Jackie’s heart. “Are you implying something?”

“I dunno. Your schedule has just been pretty inconsistent since you got your new job. It doesn’t help my memory problems.” Chase shrugged. “But you can do whatever you want, y’know.”

Jackie let out a breath. “It’s just for work. Shouldn’t take too long, I hope. I’ll be back by eight at the latest.”

Chase laughed. “Alright. Hope you do whatever you need to. Don’t feel too pressured to help me edit. I mean, the commenters do love it when you make witty comments in text, but no pressure.”

“That sounds like pressure to me.”

“Only if you want it to be.” Chase swiveled back around to face the desk. “Oh yeah, you might want to come back through the side entrance. There’s gonna be repairs on the lights in the lobby starting in, like, thirty minutes. Might be easier to avoid it.”

“Got it.” Jackie gave him a thumbs-up. “See you later.”

“See you.”

Jackie continued heading out. Well, it sounded like he’d better come in through the window when he returned. That’d be easier than taking the side entrance.

There was a knot in his stomach from that whole conversation. The more he talked to Chase, the more uneasy he felt. He had to tell him. He had to tell him.

But he didn’t.

===============

Jackie followed Spitfire’s emailed instructions and headed to 8915 Waterlow Street. This whole thing was making him nervous, so he didn’t risk flying, instead taking the train and walking the rest of the day. His nerves were not helped by the fact that Waterlow Street was well-known for being... shady. It was full of run-down businesses that seemed to think throwing on some paint over brick walls made them look presentable. No need to clean their windows or fix their broken signs or cover up the spray-painted villain signs on the sidewalk.

Honestly, the whole north side of town was known for less-than-savory activity. There was a reason it was called the Villain’s Haven. Jackie felt bad for the people who lived in the area. They had to be scared. He wondered why no one seemed to move away.

Hannah’s Bar sat at the address where Spitfire said it would, identified by a hanging sign. The stone building looked like it had sat here for at least a couple centuries. Jackie made sure the blue bandanna covering his face was secure, then pushed open the door.

It was fairly dark inside, courtesy of dim bulbs and small windows. Completely empty, too. Except for a dark-haired woman standing behind the bar checking her phone. She looked up when he entered, and gestured vaguely to the menu written in chalk behind her.

Jackie took a deep breath, and walked up to her. “Hi. I’d like to order a ruby eye cocktail.”

The woman raised an eyebrow. She gave him a long look, assessing his hidden face and baggy hoodie. “That’s not on the menu,” she said.

“I’ll pay extra if you look in the back,” Jackie said.

She looked him over again. Then she stood up straight and lifted up part of the bar. “Almost right,” she grunted. “But I’ll let it slide because you clearly haven’t been here before. Come on.” Before Jackie could say anything else, she turned around and walked through a side door.

He hurried after her, following her into a small room with racks of bottles, including one of those checkerboard wine racks that took up a whole wall. The woman began moving bottles around, taking them out of spots in the checkerboard rack and putting them in new ones. Soon, something clicked. She pushed on a portion of the wine rack and it retracted, sliding behind the rest of it. A hidden doorway, revealing a staircase. “Go on,” she said, gesturing for him to go.

“...yeah.” He nodded, then descended the staircase.

Jackie expected to walk into an even darker basement. But, strangely, the staircase got brighter as he went down. Soon, he walked into a wide-open area that looked like... an American diner. Tables dotted the black-and-white tiled floor and booths lined the walls. A counter with bar stools ran along the back, another menu behind it blocking off the kitchen from view. Lamps dangled from the ceiling. There seemed to be a red and silver color scheme for them, as well as the rest of the furniture. Faint rock music filled the air, coming from an unknown source.

But strangely enough, the walls were decorated—not unlike the walls of the League Lair—with pictures of supers. These weren’t framed comic pages, but instead wall-size painting drawn to look like comic panels. And instead of depicting the Council of Heroes, these all depicted villains. Jackie recognized many of the costumes. But... these villains looked... heroic in these drawings. Their smiles were dashing, not menacing. As much as that threw him off, it made sense when he thought about it.

There were people sitting at the tables and booths, and they all paused in what they were doing when he entered the room. Every single one had their face covered in some way. Jackie shifted uncomfortably at all the eyes on him.

Then he saw motion. A wave. His eyes locked onto it. Spitfire was sitting in one of the booths, wearing his full costume. There was someone else in the booth with him, but they were partially hidden by some of the other customers. Jackie didn’t say anything, just hurried over. As he walked, the others watching him turned away, going back to whatever they were doing before.

“Glad to see you found the place,” Spitfire said as Jackie slid into the booth, sitting opposite him.

“What is this place?” Jackie whispered.

“It’s a... hangout,” Spitfire said carefully. “For certain types of people.”

Jackie glanced around. “Nicer than I expected for a certain type of hangout.”

“Some people have standards.” Spitfire gestured at the person sitting next to him. “I should introduce you. This is—”

“I am the Disassembler!” they interrupted. “No, wait, that sounds stupid outloud. Uh, I am the—not the Destroyer, uh—I am the Dismantler!”

Jackie blinked in confusion. The other person in the booth... was a teenage girl. Or, about that age. Even though she wore a black face mask, he could still tell. Maybe she was slightly older? Her brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and she wore a black jacket that had circuit board designs applied in silver fabric paint. “I... O... kay?” he said slowly.

Spitfire sighed. “This is the Dismantler,” he said. “Dismantler, this is the contact I told you about.”

“Hi.” the girl—Dismantler waved.

“I’m... sorry, I’m a bit...” Jackie paused. “Uh, how old are you?”

“I am an adult,” she said insistently.

“Right.” Jackie looked at Spitfire.

“Don’t stare at me that way,” Spitfire snapped. “Her dad’s one of my best contacts. That’s how we know each other.”

“He sells weapons,” Dismantler said helpfully.

“Gw—Dismantler, don’t just offer that up!” Spitfire gasped.

“I know who you are, by the way,” Dismantler continued, looking at Jackie. “Spitfire told me. And I don’t mind. Mom and Dad hate you cause you arrested my Uncle Soren, but I get it. You were just doing your job. So no hard feelings. I’m not gonna mess with your stuff or anything.”

“Soren?” Jackie repeated, picking up on the only specific detail from that. “Do you mean Soren Moizone? Also known as Pathos?”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess you’d know his name,” Dismantler said.

Spitfire’s head dropped into his hands. “I thought you said you wouldn’t say anything,” he groaned.

“Sorry.” Dismantler looked embarrassed behind her mask. “I got carried away. I just wanted him to know I don’t have a grudge or anything.”

“He wouldn’t have thought you’d had a grudge if you didn’t tell him your entire family history. That’s not—that’s really not safe, you know. He could easily figure out who you are now.”

“I don’t think he’d do anything to a teenager, though.”

“You said you were an adult,” Jackie said faintly.

“I’m eighteen. Still technically a teenager.”

Silence fell over the table. Dismantler looked back and forth between the two men. Spitfire was still doing the facepalm of the century, while Jackie was bewildered and a bit lost. “Uh... so I have this,” Jackie said, taking off his backpack. He tilted it so Spitfire and Dismantler could see the SAM in its box inside. “What’re you gonna do with it?”

Spitfire finally lifted his head. “We’re going to inspect it.”

“Inspect it?”

“Yep!” Dismantler nodded. “That’s what I do.” She leaned forward, reaching out. “Gimme. Please.”

“Y-yeah. Sure.” Jackie pulled the box out of the backpack—or more accurately, shoved the backpack away from the box, since it was big and kind of awkward—and set it on the table in front of him.

Dismantler grabbed it and spun it around to the clear plastic window. “Oooo! I can feel it even through the box,” she whispered excitedly. “Are those nanoparticles coating the surface? I bet they change the color.” She began opening the box, but it proved more difficult than expected.

“Here, I can help,” Spitfire offered.

“Laser open this flap and I can get it from there,” Dismantler said.

“It’s not a—yeah.” Spitfire pointed at one of the box edges. A thin, hair-wide beam of red energy severed part of it with the smell of burning plastic.

“Thanks.” Dismantler tore the box open the rest of the way and pulled the SAM from the protective packaging. “Oh yeah! Nanoparticles for color change! That’s so cool.” She set the SAM down on the table. Her eyes, previously a pale gray-green, started to glow white.

Any questions Jackie had were immediately silenced by what followed. The SAM started to pull apart. The metal plate of the coating floated away, and the camera extended until all its parts were separated. Countless wires unwound themselves, and the single tail-like appendage peeled open like a banana. Everything stayed where it was, floating, even as the Machine was slowly dismantled.

Oh. Dismantled. So this was her super power.

Once the SAM was fully disassembled, parts suspended in the air, Dismantler reached into the floating mess and grabbed some tiny, fingerprint-sized metal bits. “Got it,” she said cheerfully. In a matter of seconds, the parts of the SAM had once again converged into a solid device, lying unremarkably on the table.

Jackie was speechless. “I... I’ve never heard of... such... precise... telepathy.”

“Oh, I’m not a telepath, I’m a technopath,” Dismantler explained. “I can control technology with my mind. I’m not surprised that you’ve never heard of it, though. It was only recognized officially about ten years ago. But I’m pretty sure we’ve been around for longer. And I think I’m one because my dad works with a lot of advanced technology. I said he was a weapons dealer earlier, really it’s more of general smuggling.”

“Technopathy,” Jackie repeated in awe. Then he shook his head and got back on track. “What did you take out of my SAM?”

“SAM? Oh, that’s so much cooler than Machine! It makes it sound like a robot on a scifi spaceship.” Dismantler laughed. “But anyway.” She opened her hand and showed Jackie the small metal bits. “These are what we in the business call ‘bugs.’ You know, like trackers and listening devices and stuff like that. These ones also have wireless NICs, which are really hard to make, but basically they let the devices transmit signals to a source.”

“Someone bugged my SAM?” Jackie asked. “But... I-I hadn’t even opened it...” He looked over at Spitfire.

Spitfire just nodded. “I thought they’d do something like this. That’s why I asked you to let Dismantler look at it.”

“Why would the League bug the SAM they sent to me?” Jackie asked.

“Don’t take it personally. They probably did it to all the Machines they sent to Heroes.” Spitfire shrugged. “It might be alright if you left it in there. Depends on what you used the SAM for. But personally, I thought you should know. It gets creepy when you don’t know about things that listen to you. I bet they didn’t even give you the terms and conditions to sign.”

“They didn't,” Jackie admitted, speaking slowly. “But still... why?”

“League likes control,” Spitfire said simply.

Jackie leaned back in his seat. He felt a bit dizzy all of a sudden. “Well... a-at least that’s taken care of.”

“Not entirely.” Dismantler curled her hand back into a fist and retracted it. “There could be spyware programs on it. I don’t know. My super power only works on, like, physical hardware. I can’t help with any software. Like programs or viruses.”

“Oh.” Jackie stared at the SAM, suddenly uneasy.

“Don’t worry about it too much, though,” Dismantler said. “Just don’t let the SAM go anywhere you wouldn’t be expected to be. Or do stuff you don’t want it to see in front of the camera. Or talk about stuff you don’t want it to hear without putting a muffling device over it. Those are really easy to make.”

“Alright... if you say it’s fine, I’ll... yeah.” Jackie nodded slowly. “I guess... it would be weirder if I suddenly got rid of it. Um... I’m going to go home now.”

“Aw, don’t want to hang out?” Dismantler sounded a bit disappointed.

“Sorry. I have a roommate, and I-I don’t want him to worry too much.” Jackie stood up. He picked up the SAM, placed it back in the box, then awkwardly shoved the box into his backpack.

“I’ll email you if there’s anything else,” Spitfire said. “You said we were dropping the search for the Specter, but there’s still the Puppeteer. That was our original goal, anyway. If I find anything... you know.”

“Got it.” Jackie nodded. “I’ll see you around then.”

“See you around.” Spitfire nodded back, then turned to Dismantler. “Hey G—Dismantler, can I see those bugs?”

“Sure.”

As Jackie walked back over to the staircase, he glanced over his shoulder back at the table. Even from here, he could see the bright yellow glow of a solid-heat sphere. Spitfire was going to get rid of those bugs the only way he knew how.

===============

“Hey Chase? Do you still want me to edit your video?”

“Holy hell!” Chase jumped at the sudden voice. He’d been walking down the hallway towards his room when he heard it. Frosty nudged him, making sure he wouldn’t fall, and Chase hurried over to Jackie’s room. The door was open, and Jackie was inside, sitting on his bed with his laptop. “When did you get home?!”

Jackie blinked in confusion. “I don’t know, six-ish? I’ve been home for a couple hours. Where have you been?”

“I took Frosty for a walk,” Chase said. “And then I thought I’d get dinner while I was out. Just walked down to Wendy’s and ate there. Uh... anyway, yeah. Editing would be cool. Just give me a second to pull everything up.”

“Cool.”

Chase hurried over to his room, gently closing the door as soon as Frosty passed through it. He pulled out his phone and texted a number: Rebecca, one of the mail room attendants for the apartment buildings. He was familiar with her, enough that he’d asked her for a favor. Hey did u see Jackie come in thru the front lobby around 6:00?

A moment passed. Then she replied. No definitely not. And I didnt hear any complaints from the guys working on the lights. Theyve complained every time someone walked past.

Jackie hadn’t come in through the front lobby.

But he also hadn’t come in through the side entrance. Chase knew that because he had watched that entrance for hours since Jackie had left. It wasn’t too hard. He just sat on a bench and kept glancing up at the door every few minutes or so. He’d brought his phone and a portable charger, bouncing between checking social media and reading some new e-books he’d downloaded. So he could have been distracted, maybe? And missed Jackie going in? But he doubted that. People rarely approached the side entrance, so the people who did got his attention right away. All residents. None of them Jackie.

How the fuck did he get into the building? There were only two entrances! Had he lied about the time he came back? Where had he gone, anyway? And why had his backpack been full of stuff?

Chase closed his text messages and opened up his notes app. He used the notes a lot to make up for his terrible memory, and recently, he’d been noting Jackie’s weird inconsistencies. He was out a lot. Usually said it was for work or a work-related thing. Which, sure, Jackie had said he was working with law enforcement, he was probably on-call as cases happened. But Jackie seemed to be always on call, no matter what time of day it was. Even for a job like this, he had to have specific hours, right?

Not to mention Jackie had been acting... strange lately. He seemed nervous. And Chase felt like he was avoiding him. Was he hiding something? He’d tried asking Schneep if he’d seen Jackie lately or noticed anything weird with him, but Schneep said it had been a while since the two of them had seen each other, and that if something was going on, Chase should ask Jackie about it in person. JJ said something similar when Chase texted him.

Had Jackie gotten involved in something... dangerous? Something that would earn him a lot of money? Because frankly, Chase didn’t believe Jackie got a Semi-Autonomous Machine from a work giveaway. Those things went for thousands. No job would just give that away. And Jackie couldn’t have that much money to spare. Otherwise he wouldn’t be rooming with Chase in a mid-tier apartment.

He knew he had to confront Jackie about it soon. But when? Tomorrow seemed too soon, and next week seemed too late. Especially if Jackie really was in danger.

Maybe a couple days from now. Yes, that seemed good. It gave him enough time to be sure about stuff. Chase made a note of that, then went over to his computer and started opening up the editing software. If Jackie offered to help, Chase would let him help. And maybe he’d try to get Jackie to open up while he did so. But he doubted that would work.

Chase really hoped Jackie was alright. He hoped his friend wasn’t wrapped up in anything harmful.

[pickle-de-packle]

Prompt Masterlist

Here are some Prompts!

The categories are; Fluff, smut, angst, & soulmates. You can also send me your own prompts!

How to send prompts:

-Send to my dm’s or my asks

-(Category(s)),(Number(s)),(Character)

-OR FOR Soulmates; Soulmates(Type)(Number(s)),(Character)

-Ex. Fluff 25 with Sherlock Holmes

-Ex. Smut 15+17 with Dean Winchester

-Ex. Fluff 6+ smut 16 with Severus Snape

-Ex. Soulmates(Changed Vision) 1 with Hentzau

-Submitting your own Protmpt

-Ex. Fluff (insert prompt(s)) with Remus Lupin

Fluff Prompts:

‘I’m glad you decided to meet up with me.’

‘I love hearing your voice.’

‘You’re my favorite person.’

‘You. Me. Friday night.’

‘I’ll trade you a kiss for a hug.’

‘You look so nice in my clothes.’

‘Is there anything I can do for you?’

‘My favorite part of the day is seeing your face.’

‘Was there something you wanted to tell me?’

‘Do you feel any better?’

‘It’s my turn to cook tonight.’

‘What are we forgetting?’

‘I’ve got something to tell you. It’s a secret, so you can’t tell anyone else..’

‘You’re the only person for me.’

‘You smell nice.’

‘Since we met, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.’

‘Can I kiss you?’

‘Can I hold your hand?’

Person A: ‘Don’t fall asleep!’ Person B: falls asleep.

‘How did you get up here?’

‘Can I come with you?’

‘I promise I won’t tell anyone.’

‘I wish I could spend more time with you.’

‘As if I could forget your birthday..’

‘Before you go, can you stay a little longer?’

‘I love the warmth of your hugs.’

‘I have something really important to ask you..’

‘I can’t believe she said yes!’

‘I never knew you felt this way.’

‘Your eyes are so pretty.’

‘How come I haven’t seen you around here before?’

Smut Prompts

“I missed you so much.”

“Like what you see?”

“I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

“You’re so perfect. And I’m so fucking lucky.”

“Try to stay quiet, understand?”

“We’re in public, you know.”

“I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

“Don’t be so rough. There can’t be any marks.”

“Don’t smile at me like that. You know it drives me crazy.”

“I like it when you say my name like that.”

“I really don’t care. You still look hot and I’m trying not to kiss you senseless right now.”

“Are you sure? Once we start, I might not be able to stop.”

“No, I’m supposed to be making you feel good.”

“I thought maybe we can do a little more than just kissing.”

“Make me.”

“Stop teasing me so much…”

“You’re in trouble now.”

“Take off your clothes.”

“I’m waiting.”

“You’re so beautiful.”

“As you wish.”

“First one to make a noise loses.”

“You have no idea what you do to me.”

“I’ve wanted this for so long.”

“Already? Do I really have that much of an effect on you?”

“Mine.”

“The night’s still young.”

“We can’t do that here!”

“Behave.”

“What did you just say?”

“Come here.”

Angst Prompts 

“And that makes it okay?”

“Why are your eyes so red?”

“Why would I ever want to be with you?”

“Is that what you think of me?”

“If I told you I hate you, what would you do?”

“Am I the reason you cry every night?”

“When did you stop loving me?”

“Don’t you think you’ve done enough?”

“How did things go so wrong?”

“When did things fall apart?”

“Which part of me wasn’t enough?”

“How do I make you love me again?”

“How do you sleep at night?”

“Can you still sleep at night?”

Soulmate Prompts

~~~~Written

Each year imprinted on your arm, whispered in a dream, sent in a mail or whatever, is a hint to who/where is your soulmate.

Every night you receive a message about a random sentence your soulmate has said that day.

Meter of how dangerous your soulmate is

A touch from your soulmate will leave an imprint there (like a different colored area on your skin, or a symbol, or name)

Counter (maybe on your palm) that depicts how many times you pass your soulmate

You only get the first letter of your soulmate’s name

The first (or last) words your soulmate speaks every day is written on your arm.

The first sentence you say to your soulmate is written on yourself (after you say it, maybe).

The most important thing your soulmate says to you is written on you.

The most important thing your soulmate says (to you?) that day will be written on you.

The most frequent thing your soulmate says to you is written on you.

Your soulmate’s birthday is written on your arm.

The last thing you were thinking about before meeting your soulmate is written on them.

Written on you is a badly worded description of how you’ll meet your soulmate (Ex. Reality: Meet in coffee shop spill drink- - > Description: “You’ll meet in a place of high energy and it’ll be hot”)

Soulmate marks are only visible after meeting and/or touching.

~~~~Changed Vision

See color for the first time when you meet, fades away when they die

Will only see shades of your soulmate’s eye colour until you meet

Can only see color in places your soulmate’s been/touched

~~~~Different Abilities

See/hear/speak/etc for the first time when you meet

Being next to your soulmate heals injuries

A gust of wind blows against your skin, towards your soulmate. The closer they are, the stronger the wind.

~~~~Sharing

Get the same injuries as your soulmate does

When you get sick, so does your soulmate

Soulmates share the same handwriting

You share your temperature with your soulmate

Songs sung by your soulmate is stuck in your head.

Whatever music that is stuck in your soulmate’s head is stuck in yours too.

Unique song imprinted in your mind that only you and your soulmate knows

Have the same heart beat

Heartbeat morse code for soulmates name

Soulmate’s heart beat on your wrist

Whenever you lose an item (like a sock), it ends up in your soulmates’ possession somehow

Everyone receives a special accessory (hat, watch, necklace, bracelet, etc) that is exactly alike with their soulmate. Many people, when they meet their soulmate, like to swap theirs with the other.

~~~~Communication

Write something on your own skin, appears on the other’s skin as well

You can send one item to your soulmate every year (or whenever)

You have this limited stack of sticky notes. Write whatever you want on it, and that note will magically appear somewhere in your soulmate’s line of sight.

When concentrating, you can write in your soulmate’s thoughts.

~~~~Restrictions

It is impossible to lie to your destined soulmate.

They have to say each other’s name to figure out they’re soulmates.

~~~~Experiences/Actions

When you meet your soulmate, time stops for a month for everyone besides you two.

At the corner of your eye, you can see a blurry vision of whatever your soulmate is doing (like sitting down drinking coffee in your living room, even though they’re doing this in another area.

When you meet your soulmate for the first time, you get a flashback/relive their entire lives

Similar to above, except you get glimpses of their future

Hidden in dreams, but never interacting, is your soulmate

The first time you touch your soulmate, you’re forced to relive their best day and/or worst day of their lives (past or future).

If you haven’t met your soulmate but have been in the same vicinity of each other (like passing each other on a street or in the same building), that day will keep repeating until you find each other.

Something fills up before meeting your soulmate, like a heart ink tattoo getting colored in or a bottle filling up with liquid/sand/origami stars/etc. The moment it is full is the moment you meet your soulmate.

~~~~Compasses

A red string tied around your pinky is connected to your soulmate’s pinky (when the two of you are at a certain distance & only you two can see it)

A spot on your body gets hotter the nearer they are, colder when they are further away

Your soulmate leaves colored footprints only visible to you

You can feel a tug from wherever your soulmate is. These may either be automatic or have stronger tugs whenever your soulmate is in distress.

~~~~Hints

You get a blurry photograph of your soulmate and vice versa, somehow (Could be yearly, could be at a certain age, could be a photo of when you first met, etc)

Every year, you receive a puzzle piece. The whole picture is your soulmate’s name/appearance/location/etc.

Mysterious letter detailing to one person when they’ll meet, and another letter detailing where they’ll meet to their soulmate, but not both (Person A gets when they’ll meet, Person B gets where they’ll meet)

Letter about details of how the meeting between soulmates go (example: “you get pushed into a lake by a guy in a duck suit and your soulmate helps you”, etc)

Bubbles give you a blurry glimpse into your soulmate’s world (visions of possessions, friends, family, laughter, crying, etc)

Everyone receives a picture of their soulmate (at a certain age) taken the year they met.

You dream of the place of where you’ll meet your soulmate.

Counter of how many times you’ve passed by or seen your soulmate.

One soulmate owns a lock and the other owns the key to that lock.

~~~~Your Soulmate

If you and your soulmate possess the same item, it’ll glow

Reflecting in the mirrors is the blurry appearance of your soulmate

Receive a piece of cloth with your soulmate’s scent

List detailing the differences between you and your soulmate

Literal sparks fly when you’re near your soulmate.

[a-chaotically-small-lunta]

Impulsive defense

This is a short-ish story of Blair, a young child who David took in as his own. After receiving a note from Micheal, David made his way to the city.

Warning: mentions of abuse, drugs, alcohol, blood, death, and fights.

The city was loud, cars rumbling around and people always having someplace to be. David had a love hate relationship with cities. On one hand it was where he was raised and provided so many resources to borrowers that no one would miss. Not to mention people who see borrowers in the city think they’re just large rats. On the other hand though, the city was dangerous. Too many people not watching where the go or what they do, all the cars and vehicles, not to mention the rats…both human and animal.

David eyed the alleyway waiting for the group of drunk men to leave. He was planning on visiting his friend, Micheal. Micheal was a borrower David had met while traveling around the city looking for anything useful and to spot any safe places for other borrowers. They met after David entered the human’s home and noticed the walls weren’t just filled with the usually dust and scraps, but rather were clean, had tools, places to rest, and many other signs that there was a borrower living here. David was invited to stay with Micheal and his wife Yael. They all bonded quickly, David was even invited to meet the birth of their child, Blair.

Once the drunk men had left, David quickly made his way across the alley and behind the large dumpster. Scanning the wall he found the small broken brick. He moved the small piece, exposing the inside of the walls. Quickly he ducked in and moved the piece back in place.

As David walked along he thought about why he was invited. Micheal said his wife had passed away, and that he just needed a friend for comfort. David understood all to well the feeling of losing a loved one, so when he received the message, he quickly made his way to the city off in the distance with the help of Laura who offered to take him after he told everyone about the note. A storm was going to pass by and she was willing to get a hotel for the night.

Eventually he found the small wooden door and knocked. Rustling could be heard from the other side until the door swung open revealing Micheal. He looked terrible, sickly even. His usual bright brown eyes were darkened and his dirty blond hair was a mess, with parts sticking up at odd angles from unknown substances. David didn’t want to know or even ask.

“Oooohhhh David! What are you doing her bro??” Micheal said leaning against the doorframe and slurring his words.

“Uhh ya sent me a letter talking about Yael, I thought I’d come by and ya know support ya.”

Micheal paused and stared off for a few seconds, “oooooohhhhh Right.” His voice sounded harsh before quickly changing back, “well come innnn….”

David, a bit confused, walked in while watching as Micheal flopped back onto the puff balls of a couch. Looking around he noticed that the house was a mess, tools and items scattered across the floor. A few pieces of furniture were flipped over and broken. The place didn’t used to look like this, it was a nice house and now everything was destroyed and gross. David noticed a dresser made of a matchbox and other materials was pushed in front of one of the doors that lined the wall.

“Uhhhh kinda let ya-self go huh?” David said glancing around trying not to stare at the globs of mold and food in the corner of the room and the ceiling.

“Brooooooo….yea maybe. Yael has been gone for awhile.”

“Yeah…when did she die?”

“Like a few months ago”

“Ohhh, and ya only told me now? I mean that’s fine and I’ll be here for ya but I would’ve been here earlier to help ya out and stuff”

“Nah nah it’s fine, soooo fine….”

“Okay…so you okay?”

“yeeeeee dude I’m TotAlly fIiinnnee. Happier toooooo wooooooo”

David paused a bit confused, perhaps he’s just drunk right now, his mind is lost a bit, “Mmh…where’s Blair by the way? How did they take it?”

“Who? Oh!!! Yeah he’s fine…but he uh is grounded right now”

“Oh…why?”

“Mmmmh lil dude almost got us caught the other night, so he has to be grounded…dude you want something to drink?”

“Uh no thanks…”

“Nahhhhhh bro lemme get ya something”

“Micheal” David said in a stern voice, “are ya okay? Ya seem out of it”

Micheal froze and stared at David, his eyes seemed to never focus fully on David.

“Yea..yea…I’m fine just…need a pep up or something…” Micheal got up and walked over, “stay here, make yourself comfy I’m gonna grab some stuff…it’ll be a sec…good stuffs in the storage heh” as Micheal clumsily walked away David looked around the torn up house. What happened here…it’s a mess. He seems way out of it…like he’s been drinking but where’d he get the alcohol? Jeez I didn’t think he’d let himself go so fast. Only a month and it looks like he’s been out of it for months. His muscles and body are thinner too…man what did you do.

David sat and thought as Micheal walked away, the second the door clicked behind Micheal a small knock was heard. David whipped his head towards the knock, which seemed to come from the blocked door. Another knock was heard and a soft muffled cry came from the other side.

David quickly walked over and shoved the dresser out of the way, unblocking the door. He pulled the door open and in front of him was Blair but the poor kid looked terrible. Blair had brown eyes and dark brown hair but usually the kid seemed so bright. On David’s other visits the kid would happily bounce around and looked full of life. Happily talking about adventures and asking David about any cool new stories. The Blair in front of him looked drained. Their hair was matted, they look like they haven’t had sleep in days. Their skin looked sickly and they were covered in bruises.

“Blair? What happened to ya kid?”

Blair stood and glance at the door Micheal had left through before looking back at David, who had crouched down to be even with the kid.

“Da-d…”

David froze in shock, “what do ya mean?” Blair froze as if terrified to say anything, “it’s alright, ya can tell me. Ya can tell me anything okay?”

Blair took a shaky breath and looked at David, tears threatening to fall out of their little sad eyes.

“He..for a-awhile he’s be-been finding stuff…st-stuff that ma-m-makes hi-m act weird… he start hitting m-me…and m-mommy… mommy tried to d-defend me whe-when he got tha-that way…he said if we let you kn-know that he’d h-hurt us…hu-hurt us worse…dad…he…he hurt mommy too much…sh-she stopped moving…I…I” tear spilled out of the kids eyes as he cried out, “I WANT MY MOMMY!!!”

David was shocked when the kid ran and wrapped their arms around him. He gently wrapped his arms around the kid. “Hey it’s okay…I’m here. I’ll protect ya…I have so many questions but I’ll ask ya later..” He held onto the sobbing child, how long has this been happening? Years??? Why did Blair tell him now? Were they desperate? What made them break out of their father’s forceful grasp?

“Let’s get ya ou-“ David paused as he felt the child grip onto him tighter as the door clicked, revealing Micheal

“What did you say” Micheal’s voice was stern, serious. In his hand was a homemade glass bottle…it was filled with a clear liquid that had a thin layer of powder on the top. David didn’t know everything about alcohol or drugs, but he knew enough that mixing them was not good.

“WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM?!?!” Micheal shouted at Blair, stepping forward. David quickly moved the kid behind him.

“Enough! Back off Micheal! You’re not okay, whatever you’re doing is not okay. You need help. I’ll help you but I can’t let you near them.” David stood firm as Micheal glared at him.

“YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT! IM THAT BASTARDS DAD! I DECIDE WHEN TO PUNISH THEM! And it needs punished.” Micheal started to step forward and David slowly backed away. The small child whimpered gripping onto David.

Micheal smashed the bottle, flinging glass and alcohol everywhere. “BACK OFF DAVID…Don’t make me hurt you too. Back off and listen to me. Unless you wanna get hurt too”

He shock his head, David wasn’t gonna leave the kid alone. He wasn’t gonna hand them over to them. He felt torn, his friend was lost…he wanted to help him…but he needed to get Blair out of here. When he didn’t move, Micheal started to run towards him.

David froze, everything felt in slow-mo. Micheal running towards him, the child screaming. But David’s mind was racing.

No no no. I can’t.

*Step*

“Don’t try anything fucking insect”

*Step*

no no…don’t hurt them please…they were just protecting him.

*Step*

Can’t let him hurt them. Won’t let them hurt them.

*Step*

Images flashed in David’s mind. Seeing his friend in a drunken rage, and seeing that drunken bastard’s fist dripping with blood.

The second his friend was readying to strike a punch with the bottle, David drove a fist right in Micheal’s face.

Micheal stuttered and looked back, astonished at what happened.

“Get to the door Blair. Don’t look back.” David whispered. Blair quickly ran to the door and Micheal tried to chase him only to get punched in the stomach by David.

“No no, ya ain’t going anywhere. Ya staying here to sober up…get help.”

Micheal slashed the bottle cutting David’s face. David tripped Micheal and grabbed his blue knife, holding it in defense. He’d worry about any cuts and bruises later. His body was shaking.

Micheal glared before chuckling, “oh using your mommy’s knife??? Mmmmmmh???? Are you scared David? Of me? All drunk like this? Remind you of something?”

David glared and tightened his grip, “Ain’t gonna let a drunk fucker ruin another child’s life. Don’t care if you’re their dad, don’t care now.”

“Ohhhhh David, what are you talking about? I’m fixing it.”

David quickly wielded his knife to block the lunging bottle.

“You aren’t like this? What happened?”

David pushed forward, staggering Micheal a bit.

“What do you mean? I’ve always been like this! I’m just a good actor. Ever since that kid came into my life, shits always been about it. Never on me.”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Was the man he knew just a facade? Something to make life seem normal? Why would he do that?

“Micheal we can work this out, we can find you help”

“I DONT NEED HELP!!!” Micheal lunged and tackled David to the ground. Trying to stab his face with the bottle. David was quick and blocked the bottle, earning a long cut on his arm. They stared into each other’s eyes.

“I just need you to join your parents. Ironic that’ll you’ll die the same way the did…just at a smaller scale.”

Why would he say that? WHY WOULD HE

David lost it, he threw Micheal off him and slashed the knife at him. Aiming for his chest. David slashed and slashed in blind fury, he thought he was seeing red before, but now it was brighter. He didn’t care anymore. He was on edge when he first saw him and every second this Bastard talked pushed him closer and closer. He finally snapped. Telling Micheal about his past was something he thought would strengthen their bond, show his trust. And he used it against him.

The two men wrestled around knocking things around and off places. Smacking each other’s heads into furniture and walls breaking most of them. David punched and slashed, eventually shattering the bottle with the knife with a well placed stab. With his weapon gone Micheal became more furious and tried scratching and biting David, but David quickly dodged and using his knife as a shield blocked most attacks. Sometime during the fight he pulled out the other knife and duel wielded them against his former friend. He pushed Micheal around until he managed to stab one of his knives into Micheals hand against the floor, causing a scream of agony to fill the air. David held Micheal down and with a knife to Micheal’s throat leaned down and whispered “I’d kill ya, it’d be like putting down a sick animal. But I’ll give ya a chance to fix yourself. Doesn’t matter if ya do though. Ya ain’t ever gonna see me or Blair again. So stay down, or I’ll keep ya down forever. You know it’s not my first time killing someone. Don’t make me add to my count.” David hissed out the last part before, slowly backing off the exhausted man. He yanked his bloodied knife out of Micheal’s hand and shoved his foot onto his chest. Glaring down for a second before walking to the door.

Micheal didn’t stand back up, and laid on the ground breathing as David walked out the entrance. He looked over and saw Blair against the wall, covering their ears and curled up.

“It’s over kid…let’s get out of here.” David said, extending a hand to the kid.

“Di-did you k-k-kill him?” Poor kid looked worried over their father. It made sense, though. They did love their father and just wanted the best for him, even though his father didn’t love him back.

“Nah kid, just knocked some sense into him. He’ll be okay, but for now I’m gonna watch over ya until he’s better alright?”

The kid looked down almost sad but relieved about the news. The kid nodded and grabbed David’s hand.

“Alright, let’s go then. I got a friend who brought me here, and she’ll bring us back to my home okay?” They nodded and David paused, “just so ya know…they’re a bean,” he watched the kid stiffen in fear, “but don’t worry, she won’t hurt ya. I trust her fully. She’s a good one, promise” the kid loosened a bit but still seemed on edge.

David guided the kid back towards the alley and walked through the walls of each building until they came across the hotel. He was grateful that Laura had offered to bring him to the city due to the bad weather. Flying a bird in a storm is never the best idea, and David only did that if there was no other options and he needed to leave. David watched the kid, noticing the kid eyed some of his cuts. Oh yeah…wounds…forgot about those..whatever.

Eventually the pair made it into the hotel walls. Heading up, David looked into each room trying to find Laura. He knew the floor she was on but had forgotten which room. Soon he found her room by peeking in and seeing her laying upside down on her bed. Her long curled brown hair a frazzled mess as she had a bored look on her face. Her rectangle glasses were on the verge of falling off but she didn’t seem to care.

Carefully David stepped out of the wall, holding onto Blair and giving them a gentle rub reminding them that everything was okay.

Once near the human David shouted, “Hey Laura! I’m back!”

Laura was startled and instantly slide off the bed, hitting her head on the floor. She glance over and smiled, “ow, you’re back that was quick, so ho-“ she froze spotting the child, “did you kidnap another kid?”

“First off, I’ve never kidnapped a kid. I tend to find them alone or abandoned, secondly…yes in a way but it’s fine…I’ll explain everything later.”

Laura made an annoyed face before awkwardly pushing herself off the ground and back onto the bed. She swung her legs around and got out of the bed before she lowered herself onto her stomach in front of the pair, “alright well you better explain, but for now.. Hello there, I’m Laura. You must be Blair, David’s talked about you and how you’re so brave and have this call to adventure.”

Blair stood behind David, clearly terrified of the bean, but as she softly spoke he slowly poked his head around and started to get closer.

“Don’t worry I won’t hurt you. Even though I’m a bit of a clumsy mess,” she chuckled, “hey you look hungry,” and with a glance towards David, “and like you’ve been through hell. Want something to eat? I got snacks and stuff”

The kid shyly nodded and with that Laura pushed herself up to a sitting position before extending her hand onto the ground, “go ahead and climb on. I’ll set you two on the bed and grab the snacks okay?”

With a small nudge of encouragement from David the pair of borrowers climbed onto her hand. Once they were secure and settled, Laura slowly lifted them up and onto the couch, not once standing. They both walked off with Blair still holding onto David, Laura stood up and walked over to a bag that had been thrown into the corner of the room. She returned with a small water bottle and two clear bags, one filled with snacks like pretzels, chocolates, nuts and the other with bandages and creams.

She set the items down and opened the bag of snack and water, setting them both down in front of the pair, “go ahead and get what you want, just don’t eat too fast” she smiled and watched as the kid cautiously approached the bag. Reaching in they grabbed a few things and snacked on them. Sitting next to the bottle watching the bean.

David walked closer to her grabbing some bandages to treat his wounds, “so you’ll tell me what happened?” She asked.

“I’ll give ya a summary, Dad’s a drunken addict who abuses the kid so I fucked him up a bit”

“Oh…oh, you okay?”

David paused as glance at Laura who was giving him a concerned look, “I’ll be fine…”

“Talk to me if you aren’t okay?”

“I will.”

“You’re lying but okay.”

David glared at Laura who only smirked, “what it’s true,” she said defensively, “you usually don’t like talking about stuff like that and that’s okay. I’ll be there when you want to.”

“Yeah yeah, I’m just worried about the kid is all.”

They both looked over as the kid was enjoying themselves with the snacks.

“It’ll be okay, we’ll figure it all out tomorrow. It’s late and you guys look like you need some sleep”

David simply nodded as he worked on bandaging himself up.

Eventually Laura laid onto the bed next to the pair yawning, “alright it’s probably best we get some shut eye, so…”

Laura squeaked as she felt a hug around her finger, which was causally laying on the bed near the borrowers. She glanced down at her hand to see the tiny child holding onto her.

“Thank you for the snacks”

Laura smiled, “it’s no problem. Here may I try something?”

The child nodded, and Laura gently scooped the child up and moved herself to laying on her back. She placed the child right on top of her heart as she laid back against the pillows and pulled the blankets back over her lower body.

“You okay there or do you want to sleep on the other pillow with David?”

David who had already laid on the other pillow looked over to see the scene. He shook his head. Laura knew that her heart beat was soothing to kids, hell David knew it was soothing, he just didn’t like being held for so long. Made him feel powerless.

The kid listened to her gentle heartbeat and shook their head, “this is nice” they snuggled up and Laura gently placed the thinner sheet over their body as a blanket. It didn’t take long for the kid to knock out.

“I’m surprised they took to ya so quickly” David said

“Well you showed them I was trustworthy so I guess it was easy to build trust up with them. Poor kid though…with everything that happened…”

“Yea…” David glanced away

“Don’t worry we’ll talk about it later.”

“We’ll have to ask the kid for more details. I don’t know much. Hell I don’t know who or how that letter was sent. Ugh I’m so confused and frustrated!” David pouted angrily.

“Hey calm down, you have your reasons for what you did. Just rest for now okay?”

David sighed and nodded. With a smile Laura took off her glasses and laid down to fall asleep, one hand carefully over the sleeping child. David however wouldn’t fall asleep, he stayed alert watching the shadows and walls for a few hours. Making sure Micheal wouldn’t come out of them. Eventually David passed out, he’d have to deal with this tomorrow morning sometime but that’s for later. The kid was safe now and that’s all that mattered right now.

[i-am-beckyu]

the ppl in the overworld are a little bit of both. they can look over humans kinda like guardian angels, but they can also be more like gods and look over their world and adjust things like weather or time of day. there's more where that came from buuuut that's spoilers >:3

some realms, the overworld & underworld specifically have like a mark system. i haven't gotten it completely figured out yet (except for dream's. his is cool :D) buuut like it's set up as like one mark is superior to another mark. (and another useless worldbuilding thing is the population in the overworld & underworld can be either born or spawned in, and in tommy's case, he was spawned in)

tommy in the overworld wasn't five (i think that's what you meant by asking, maybe i read it wrong) , i think in one of the drafts i wrote he was 119 or smth i can't remember. i'll probably adjust that to make it fit the non-existent timeline. but he does spawn in at five! another part of the life trial is getting a little sample of mortal life, just to be able to connect with mortals better while back in the overworld working, since the schooling system in the overworld touches that topic but doesn't go into deep detail. but yeah spawning in he's only five so 100% his appearance mixing with his very-much-not-five mentality just spits out "i'm not a child" energy (and remarks) dfgfjfsdj

BINGOO you hit that! ofc he doesn't want to leave, he's emotionally attached to them all :')

ASDHGDFS I ALLURE?? i- is that a bad thing for a viewer?? i mean idk i agree with quackity (totally random to bring one specific moment of him up lmao sorry) i am randomly very secretive about things,,,, so i definitely gatekeep things a lil too much but i meeean alluring isn't necessarily negative??? but i can try to be more...non-gatekeep-y dsjfsd

oh and yeah dream sent the message :] what ever could it be? (spoiler alert: his first task! and the letter is a hello and instructions. paper & pencil come in later)

hhh i feel like i can say a lot but at the same time it's like...just scene stuff that is either spoilers or just boring interactions between ppl,,,,, maybe i can dig up some old serenity writing for u instead :D (or both, who knows)

HMMM what do i want in return for the crimebois draft? hmhmmmm HMMMMM i would likeee mayhem trio fanart!! can be anything you want, i just need to see some more fanart of us >:D

i gotta find that fic tho and maybe just update it a lil bit,,,

mm now i get 3d's liking of splurging. it's so fun! :00

Oooooo okie so fancy and kinda majestic nice!

And yeah I meant he’s 5 in the mortal realm with what I now know as 119 old mentality which now begs the question: does time work differently in different realms? Or are people in the overworld like immortal?

Awwww heck yeah! Get emotionally attached!!!!

And Awww he’s got tasks to do. I hope some of them are really obscure and have everyone around him questioning Tommys sanity.

And you are a little secretive but so am I! I like surprising people ❤️😉

Lol I think I can do that.

[myceliumsage]

so, something i don't talk abt often online is the fact that i have been medically recognized as having OSDD.

(meaning i've had multiple psychs and therapists tell me i have this, but i have chosen to not get officially diagnosed. however, i have a medically recognized system, and have had multiple people throughout almost two decades witness various parts of my system, multiple times.)

this is pertinent because, i have a couple of casual friends (used to be close, but have just drifted) who know about it, and make (mostly) light-hearted jokes about it. one of my friends sent me a photo of a box belonging to a vehicle part, with the letters "D I D" on it. he captioned it by saying "you if you were a vehicle part and were better at forgetting shit"

i sent this screenshot to my partner, because i honestly found the message to be pretty amusing

my partner did not find it as amusing as i did

and i don't mean that in the way that he was pissy, but he was defensive over me involving it, yknow?

he doesn't like jokes being made abt my OSDD or my system, he's very protective of us, and he often feels as if those specific friends make fun of my disorder, instead of cracking good natured jokes

and while he didn't oppose my being fine with that specific joke, and was basically like "so long as you don't feel offended, then okay, i won't talk about it anymore", it just.

it makes me happy.

i've only had one other relationship where my partner (and myself) were aware of my disorder, and he made me feel like shit over it. for a long time my system loved him, adored him - and he treated everyone in it like shit, and was ashamed of me and my system, and told me multiple times he wished it was just me and that he didn't want to deal with this.

(note: he rarely had to "deal" with my system, except in the very beginning when headmates popped out to try and hang out with him, and then at the very end when our gatekeeper and protector came out during stressful situations he caused.)

and to have a partner now who wants me to share as much information with him that i'm comfortable with, and who has (unintentionally on my part) met most of my headmates, and doesn't shame me for it, and wants to get to know them at the system's own pace, and who has asked what boundaries are needed... it's just nice.

the fact that my system littles feel safe around him. that... that is huge lol. especially because they popped out before i ever told him my condition, and he, not knowing what was really going on, treated them with kindness and respect and care... yeah, basic human decency, but he is so soft with them.

he's so soft with all of them.

his only worry was that one of my headmates is a lesbian and he was scared that she was uncomfy with him being a man. (she isn't - she just doesn't wanna do physical shit with him lmao. but, he has a new gaming buddy, so.)

idk. i love him a lot. he's a cool dude. kinda goofy. kinda stoopid. but dear god i love him. i feel safe with him.

[etakeh]

After listening to this two-parter on Dr Dobson, I realize that I, and my kid, kind of dodged some bullets.

I'm at a particular age where I was a small child in the early Dobson years, and had a small child in the late 90s, when things got really rolling for him.

This is going to be long, but I'm feeling some things. Feel free to skip my commentary and go listen to the podcast, I won't be offended. I do think it's worth listening to, especially since Garrison Davis is the guest, who has a personal connection to the "gay conversion" stuff from the second episode.

If you want my personal feelings on the thing, read on.

My dad was religious, after a lapse of two wives between his religious parents and his current wife. They were the type of Christians where...well like this.

I grew up with my mom, visiting dad on holidays. The one time I spent actual Christmas day with his new family, he sat me down and asked me if I knew what "the true meaning of Christmas is".

I was maybe 12. Not exactly the age where I could have avoided this knowledge, but he (I'm sure at the prompting of his new wife) assumed I didn't know. That I hadn't been exposed to that information, somehow.

If he'd been a better father, he'd know that I went to church with my great-grandparents, that I'd gone to Sunday school and Christian day camps. I mean not because my mom was particularly religious, but it was a free babysitter for a woman raising three kids with, you know, no father. In fact, when she talked about god, she was angry. "Why does god let babies die" etc.

anyway. They assumed it was ignorance that kept me from being a full-blown Christian. There's no way I could have heard The Word and not want to be actively Jesusing.

So, I have anecdotal evidence that I was a "strong-willed child". I have recently found letters from my mom, to my dad, detailing how "out of control" I was. Begging him to play a more active roll in my upbringing. or maybe just visiting every now and then.

I was kindygarden/1st grade when this book came out.

Not having had my dad take an active part in my childhood, I didn't have this "parenting advice" visited upon me. Thanks? I guess?

Fast-forward to the late 90s, and I am a single parent with a "strong-willed child" of the kindygarden/1st grade age. I now lived, by a long string of situations, not far from my dad and his not-so-new wife. It's nice, they are remarkably good grandparents. She did all the grandma things, baking and crafts and reading to my kid. My dad let my kid tromp around with him around the property, played video games with them, and built a pretty badass playhouse for the two grandkids.

But they kept trying to sneak in religion. He'd get them a new video game that was cartoon Christian history, she'd read a fun illustrated book of bible stories. That kind of thing.

And they both started suggesting I took these parenting classes that were being given at a local gathering place. I wasn't super smart about it, but when they gave me a flyer and it mentioned "Focus on the Family" I absolutely struck it down. I didn't say that was why, I just let it slide til they stopped asking me. They didn't want to push and stop letting them see my kid, and I didn't want my kid to lose the legitimately good time she had with them.

And now I'm listening to this podcast.

I sent my kid this message after the first part

I was fully joking. My kid is not neurotypical, so the kinds of "discipline" they were promoting would absolutely not have worked. And if it had, it would have fucked my kid up. like it probably did to a lot of kids.

Then I listen to the second part. that gets heavily into gay conversion therapy.

And send my kid this

cause you know what? my kid is queer. It wasn't a recognized thing when they were kindygarden aged, and I'd like to think I wouldn't have gotten overly influenced by this program, but I'm sitting here thinking, What if I had?

What if I'd decided to run with it. How fucked up would that be.

There's a chance my kid would have gotten sucked in as well. and/or that we ended up having a falling out because of it. and/or that my kid could have ended up dead.

It's honestly kind of terrifying.

So I guess thanks mom for being so angry at god, and thanks to dad for being so annoying about god. Between the two of you, it worked out.

and to my kid, You're welcome . Where's my prize.

[sportacoke]

UNPROMPTED || ALWAYS ACCEPTING! || @alastgoodnight

alastgoodnight asked: What's this? it appears to be a letter! It's in a pale blue envelope and sealed with a sticker - a goldfish jumping out of its bowl, orange and bright. The letter itself is on white paper, bordered with blue and purple hydrangeas. The handwriting is careful and clear. "Dear you, It's been a while since I wrote one of these. I never know where most of these letters end up, unless someone writes back. Please feel free to respond! I love getting letters - it will know where to go. How are things where you are? It's starting to get cold here - the sky has turned silvery and the clouds look fluffy overhead. Sometimes I think about plucking one of the clouds from the sky and wearing it as a coat. Are you keeping warm where you are? I'd love to hear about where you are. Are you getting ready for a heavy winter, or does it get warm there? Are there any holidays you're looking forward to? I think that's enough for now. Please feel free to write back, and take care! Sincerely, Naomi" The envelope has a return address - "Miss Naomi, Lullaby Lane Library, Lullaby Lane". There's no numbers or indications of where this Lullaby Lane might be.

[Sportacus would recognize the sound of an inbound letter anywhere -- he flipped again and again towards the "mail delivery" part of his airship, catching the bottled-up letter in mid-air.]

[With a grin, he made his typical announcement:] ❝ I've got mail! ❞ [Then eagerly opened the container. This letter was fancier than many others that had been sent unto his ship, sealed in a baby blue envelope with a goldfish sticker. Remarking to himself about how nice the goldfish and its display of agility was, he opened the letter, careful not to disturb the goldfish.]

[Even the stationery was fanciful, with hydrangeas bordering the paper; the author's neat handwriting complimented it.]

[He read the letter aloud to himself; the open address of "dear you" and the introductory paragraph made it clear that this was a sort of "message in a bottle," a hopeful letter sent to an unknown recipient. As it so happened, by whimsical circumstance, he wound up receiving it -- and with how much he loved reading letters AND sending them, he couldn't help feeling excited about this mysterious penpal.]

[Upon finishing the letter, he happily hopped, flipped, and twirled his way over to his own stationery -- plain, but effective. This time, Naomi would get a letter back -- just as she'd written, letters ( both to and from him ) often found their way. Her address was vague, but he could make do with it.]

❝ Dear Naomi... ❞ [He narrated his letter aloud:]

"Dear Naomi, It's always good to reach out to others, no matter how far away they are! The weather here in LazyTown is usually sunny, but sometimes we get wind or snow storms in fall and winter! It hasn't gotten too cold yet, so I have thankfully been able to get out and enjoy the weather. Even when the weather is gloomy, I can always spend time indoors and do what I love. Do you have any hobbies? I love exercising and playing sports! Winter around here always hits in late December or sometimes January. LazyTown is full of people who love the holidays! I am very excited to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas with everyone! Do you have family or friends that you spend the holidays with? What holidays do you celebrate? Feel free to reach back out anytime! I love getting letters in the mail! Take care and stay safe, Sportacus P.S. I think a cloud coat is a fun idea! Clouds are too light and fluffy to even be touched, but it should be possible to make something similar, like a puffy jacket. Do you know anything about making clothes? If not, you're never too old to learn!"

[He was satisfied with that -- now it was time to deliver it, the way he always did. He folded the letter into the shape of a paper airplane, then leapt over to his mailing ball ( a bowling ball that had been repurposed for mail delivery ) and tucked the letter inside. It might not have an address written on it, but it was clear who it was written for, and his paper airplane method ALWAYS found the right person.]

[Sportacus set the ball down, then kicked it into one of the open slots in his ship -- the ball got stuck, but the letter flew freely on the outside, drawn to the recipient like a magnet. Now, all he had to do was wait -- even if "waiting" for him consisted of various exercises. Sitting still wasn't an option!]

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day (green tea!) Welcome to the weekend!

Wow! Here we are again: Friday! Where did that week go? No, seriously, where did that week go?

First of all, many thanks to everyone that got involved with Throwback Thursday on my page. Yesterday’s word was MOTIVATION. Lord knows, some days we really need it! Some days, particularly when you wake up in the dark, it’s difficult to find the motivation to leave that warm bed! But we get there eventually (bills have got to be paid!) Some of us – like C.c. Corroyer – have retired, so she has no need for motivation at all; she is living life at her own pace and will write her book when she feels motivated (and not before!)

At present, the Wesker household is not too well. I’m having a few issues with my gums and I definitely feel that I have some kind of RSI in my wrists (common amongst people that type of a lot of words!) The Trouble is convinced she has come back from Jamaica with ‘dengue fever’ (kindly given to us by mosquitos), and I suspect she will be a few pounds lighter when she gets over it; she’s hasn’t really eaten since Sunday! Thankfully, dengue cures itself and her immune system should soon kill it off. It needs to! We are going down to Hove on Saturday afternoon, so she needs to be fit for Lady Wesker’s assorted tasks.

Mum makes me laugh. She loves a little chocolate every now and then, so I always buy her some Cadbury’s Fruit & Nut. Last month, I brought her four bars, so there would still be some when I came down this month. Mum sent me a message in the week, “Don’t buy any more chocolate. I’ve eaten all four bars!” I stared at the message and shook my head. “They were for you AND me!” I replied. I’m not buying her anymore! I can do without. She says the weather has been nice down in Hove, so I’ll be able to walk down to the seafront on Sunday morning.

Really hope you can join me tomorrow at 1.00 p.m. for ‘The A-Z Of Mi-Soul Music’: The Letter R (Part Four). Executive Producer is the young man who actually found me my latest blue towelling robe (which I love) but Mark Dezzani is much more, he’s a radio broadcaster, journalist, producer and director, so a man of many talents! There won’t be any more executive producers until we get to The Letter S (the biggest letter in the musical alphabet.)

I actually have time for a walk today, so I am going to grab that opportunity, get some fresh air and stretch my limbs. Nothing cures ailments like the elements! I shall also use today to get ready for next week. Lots of prepping to do, which won’t help my RSI but I like to be prepared. My music industry news story for my class on Monday will be about Spotify’s new creation, an app that allows you to create mixtapes and splice in your own audio. Wow, remember those mixtapes we use to make for girls? Cassette tapes with decorated spines and a hand-written track list. I managed to impress The Trouble with one of my mixtapes and she still has it. Spotify’s mixtape idea is not very romantic but it will allow you to insert links; a totally unique radio show for that very special person. I hate Spotify but that’s a cool idea.

Have a fabulous and funky Friday! I love you all. You’re probably thinking, “You don’t even know me!” but, if people can hate for no reason, why can’t I love?

[letters-between-friends]

thank you

Dearest Tabi,

Thank you for the last two messages. I have a nice and warm feeling while reading your "soft" letters. I actually teared up a tiny bit with "soft september". Maybe because yes, those are the things I also wish for you and most of them are also dreams of mine. Thank you for saying it out loud and getting it out of our heads.

The universe hasn't been good to me these past few days and I am having a hard time creating a letter for you. I know that unlike me you are not pressuring me to write but I really want to!

Upon reading your last letter, I finally realized what I wanted to write and it is somehow different from the other letters I sent you because it will not be about me. Haha! I want to write you an appreciation letter, things you may already know but I still want to recognize and to remind you of it.

First of all, when we met, I actually thought we wouldn't vibe that much but you tried to befriend me because I was your "ninang" in FC and I felt I had this sense of duty as a ninang to you although I'm just one year older than you. Haha

You were different. You stand out even in college. You are this person who is confident with her skills and knows herself and her worth while during that time all of us are still struggling with how we see ourselves. I guess that intimidated me a little bit maybe that's why I thought we wouldn't vibe. I see the two of us as very different from one another.

The first time I appreciated you was when you went back from your trip to Cebu and brought me a pasalubong (Silvanas). I was touched for some reason. It was then I realized that you were a thoughtful person.

The second time was when I read your paper about the analysis of mermaids as your final paper in Sir Lau's class. It was a really good read. It wasn't filled with "big" words despite the class using a lot of them. It was an easy read even though you were explaining these deep concepts. It was then I realized you are a good writer.

There was a lot in between for sure that I appreciated you but the next one that I was really thankful for was when you stayed with me during the pandemic. Others have questioned my decisions back then, others have been busy with their lives but you were the one who remembered me.

You were the one who made me feel that I would not be alone even if I made mistakes, that no matter what my choices will be, may they be good or bad, I have a friend who has my back and understands that things need to happen for me to learn and grow as a person.

I know that the pandemic also was a trying time for you. I must admit that I was beginning to get worried during the time you didn't have a job. M was actually asking about it and I just told her she just needs to ride her feelings. She's gonna get up and be fucking great as always.

That is one of the reasons I admire you. You always let yourself feel things and when you're ready again, you always slay no matter what you do. From that time to now, wow. It's actually inspiring for me to see you from that condo to hearing your stories in Australia.

I am also thankful that even though I don't reply to your long messages, that I disappear to you from time to time, you still message. I must admit there are times that it irritates me. Haha! But I remind myself that this person listens to every detail of my own long ass stories so I should listen also.

To clarify that's just a few times, keep sending me those messages still as I like reading them on my own time. What I just want to say about that part is that I am thankful that I don't feel pressured to reply. I don't feel that you are expecting anything from me but that you just need to tell me about it.

It's refreshing for me, a different kind of interaction than my usual. I may or may not reply and I don't need to overthink if we will grow apart or you might get "tampo". It's a comfort to say to myself "Tabi knows me. She wouldn't be mad just because I didn't reply." Thank you for honoring my space.

Thank you also for sharing the things you are experiencing in Australia especially those beautiful parks and fields that I really like. Please keep sending more of that.

And lastly thank you for inspiring me, inspiring me to write more, to be comfortable and confident with myself, and to live my life as the main character. I actually love your stories because there are times I imagine you as a character in a book. It's like a mix of Shopaholic x Love Rosie kind of vibe for me. Haha! I can't wait for you to write your stories and read it.

Today, it is much clearer to me why my notion that we don't vibe is definitely not true. We "vibe" not because we have the same taste in music, movies, or people. Haha! I think it's because even when life gets tough we still both believe in a good tomorrow. We still believe in people. We fall and rise. We still see the beauty of the world even when it can be shitty. We try to honor what we want to do but at the same time still practice kindness.

Keep doing you Tabi, I know and I am sure you will get there on the porch.

Always with love,

Ana