#getting a piercing i’ve wanted since i was 15! finally!!

[guubiiz]

AAAA I’M SO EXCITED FOR TOMORROW !!!!

[lawva-girl]

Historically.. We don't mix.

Law x fem!Reader, College AU

Notes: the things that don't mix are history and stem majors!!! this came to me in a dream forever ago and ive been sitting on it since. This is only part one to... idk how many but yes! I have a loose outline, we can bet on 5 parts but thats a scary bet to make methinks. Enjoy :) also i apologize if the pov switching in the first bit is weird, i thought i was cooking and i kinda think its cute now so it is.

WC: 1976

The classroom was quiet, you were the only one there. Class officially started in 4 minutes. Right as you pulled out your phone to double check the room another person walked in. You assumed she was a student since she was about your age, at least she looked it. When the woman instead walked to the front of the class you realized she was the professor. Shoulder length black hair, with bangs trimmed right to her eyebrows. Wearing a white cowboy hat, which you thought was peculiar. 

She removed the hat and set it on the desk, resting her bag in the seat. 

She wrote on the board “Robin, overview of women in war” then she leaned against the desk and pulled out her phone.

You looked back at yours, 11:18. Two minutes until class began, and there was now roughly 15 people in the room. You sat in the second row back from the front, and you noticed only one person in the front row. He had a weird beanie on, dark hair, and pierced ears. You tried not to stare, since you knew he could glance back at any second.

“Okay everyone, I am Nico Robin. I’m your professor.” She smiled for the class, and continued, “this class should be very exciting, we get to learn about women like Joan of arc, who really was a delusional farm girl, and Molly Pitcher, a women who fought in the American revolution. The syllabus is online, you will need books by next class. The student store has them for 15 dollars, I won’t take any excuses.” 

The professor paused, then opened her bag and pulled out the book, “it looks like this. It’s a small booklet of primary sources, mostly text and images, that we will take a deep dive into. Your grade this semester will be 40 percent exams, 25 percent homework, and finally 35 percent participation. Yes it is a lot, this class is modeled after my time researching, you cannot be a historian or teacher without being able to work as a group and communicate. I know it’s a challenge but try your best.”

A beat.

Law felt sick. He was not a talker, especially to people who were history majors. The men were always blood hungry, the women always poetic. This class would be rough, but if he could find one person bearable enough it might be okay. Sitting in the front seat, he couldn’t glance around to see his peers. While the professor was going on about the school's mandatory syllabus information, he took a quick look behind him, as if checking the clock. 

No one was paying attention, and he glanced quickly around the class. There was only one person who looked back at him, meeting his eyes. Of course they looked away immediately, and so did he.

The professor finally finished and gave the students time to “meet their neighbors”. Law turned and found the one student who made eye contact with him. 

“I’m Trafalgar Law, I’m a double major in history and biology.” He stated right to the girl, with no excitement in his voice, tone steady.

“My name is Dracule y/n, I’m a history major, and you are insane, Trafalgar.” She had a bit of sarcasm in her tone, which he took offense to. She was the fifth person to tell him that today.

“I’m not insane, I just like history and I want to be a doctor.” 

“That’s cool I guess, I’ve never met a stem major I liked though. You guys are all so “history is just memorization and dates”, I can’t stand talking to ‘em.” 

Law looked back at her and thought ‘I have never met a history major I liked either’. He decided on saying, “If you ask me historians are basically philosophers, you just think all day and pretend like the world changed.” 

She made an obvious frown, putting her hands onto the table with a bit too much force. “Huh?!”

“History majors have two options, teach or research, both are dead end jobs that don’t help people. It’s simple.” He stated nonchalantly, like it was crazy to major in history. 

“Well life isn’t all about jobs and helping people. It’s about living?” She looked him dead in the eyes before finishing with, “it’s not like the world collapses when doctors aren’t around.” 

“Well it was nice talking, but I’m gonna chat to my other neighbors.” He said with a huff, he didn’t have to talk to you at all, in fact he hoped he wouldn’t have to again. 

After about 10 more minutes, professor Robin spoke up again, “okay okay, since we don’t have textbooks yet I decided to make a fun assignment. I’m giving you your first and last handouts, you will need to fill them out before next class. Other than that, please look at the canvas page. Read over the syllabus and take my obligatory syllabus quiz. You are now free from this class.” 

You walked out into the hall, and booked it to the student store. You told your only friend and sister, Perona, that you would meet her there.

Law, coincidentally, told Bepo the same thing. Bepo was his only friend, having grown up with the white haired bear. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Only 10 minutes after class had dismissed you arrived at the store, already spotting Perona’s pink pigtails. 

“perona!” You whisper-screamed in her ear, trying to scare her. 

“Ahhh y/n”, she sighed, clearly unaffected, “you know you’ll never scare me. Anyways, what is my cute depressed friend doing on Friday?” 

You and her walked into the store, “studying... So I’m busy.” Giving her a quick smile before you two settled in the textbook section. 

“You are so coming with me then! I’m going to the mall that’s next to campus, I’m already so bored of our dorm room decorations. If we go to 5below I can get way cuter stuff for us! You need to come since it’s your dorm too, so I won’t take no for an answer.”

“Perona you have really good taste in stuff, you should be fine on your own!” You put some enthusiasm behind your voice, to encourage her. 

She frowned back at you, not buying into your typical antics. “If you don’t come then you won’t be leaving all weekend! You need to go outside y/n!” 

“Perona!? Hi!” A voice from behind you called out to her, causing you to turn instantly. 

“Bepo! What a coincidence! Do you have a picture of the textbook we need for thermodynamics?” Perona said, already stepping towards the bear.

“Of course! I have to be studious this year!” 

The two of them found the text book, it costed a whopping $300 dollars, and was written by their professor. 

“We can share, right Bepo? That way it’s only 150 dollars?” The both of them had a cloud over their heads as you watched the sad situation unfold. Peronas face was for sure one of desperation.

“Wait is there a digital version? It’s usually cheaper.” You suggested, reaching to pull out the info card. 

“Bepo! I’ve been looking.” Whoever said that sounded quite angry, and familiar?

“I’m sorry Law! I saw my classmate and got excited… sorry” Bepo turned to face the man. 

“You couldn’t have texted? just once?” Law replied, only just then looking at the two people who were with Bepo.

“Great this guy again.” You said with sarcasm dripping from your voice and turned to Perona, “we should leave, he hates me.” 

“I don’t hate you. I don’t even know you.” Law said, pinching his nose.

“Whatever, do you have Bepo’s number Rona?” Calling her by her self appointed nickname always made her happy, right now you were hoping it would get her to leave with you to the history section. 

“I don’t actually! Bepo! Here, put your number in!” She said with a smile, being way more friendly than usual. “I’m Perona by the way, how do you know my friend y/n?” 

It was a simple question but the way he answered really bugged you, rattling off a “we have a class together”. He was looking down at his phone and didn’t even bother to look up when he answered. Hell he didn’t even bother to introduce himself! 

“His name is Trafalgar by the way, we have women in war together.” You had a straight face, conveying how much it bothered you well.

“Awww how wonderful!” Perona had an enthusiastic tone but looked at you with a smirk like no other. “Would you be her friend? I’m the only one she has right now!” 

You cursed your friend and her constant medling. She loved to stir the pot, and when you got upset she would always say “you are so cute when you’re mad though!” With her words to Law, he finally looked up. 

He opened his mouth to speak, but was instantly interrupted. 

“He only had one friend too!” Bepo handed back Perona’s phone, “it’s me!” He said with a big smile.

“He seems like he would have no trouble! My y/n is super awkward and shy!” Perona practically ignored you, as you had started to form words before she interrupted you.

“No no! He’s pretty judgmental so a lot of people stay away from him, he also thinks he’s smarter than everyone!” Bepo replied back, as if they were two parents gossiping about their kids.

“She thinks the same! Maybe they could be friends?” Perona and Bepo look at you and Law.

“I am smarter!” Both you and law said in unison. Immediately looking at each other with frustration.

“Don’t say what I say!” You said to law.

“How would I know what you were going to say? Do you even think?” Law argued back.

“Of course I do! Do you?” You couldn’t think of anything better… 

“Good one. Bepo we’re leaving.”

“Rona we are leaving too! At least I don’t constantly speak in contractions…”

Law turned his head so you would hear, “you just said one too!” 

You and Perona had already turned the corner, you quickly led her to the history section. You spared her no look, you figured you would talk about it once the two of you got back to the dorm. Once you reached the history section, you squatted down in front of the book you needed and saw there were 3 left. Grabbing one then standing. Just as you were about to go pay for the book, you heard him again.

“Are you following me Dracule? Typical.” He said, with a touch of sarcasm. 

“Typical? We both know you don’t have anyone interested enough to follow you. Also, are you even thinking? We are in the same class so of course we would both need the same book.” 

“Whatever, I’m getting my book and leaving.” He quickly bent over, grabbed a copy and was gone.

“No comeback!?” You said, just a bit too loud. You wanted him to hear you, so that he knew you knew he couldn’t come up with anything. Feeling a bit triumphant you turned to Perona, who was standing behind you with a smile. 

“What now?” 

“He’s cute y/n!”

“No chance. He’s mean, and a biology major!” 

She scoffed, “there is always an exception to the rule! Like me!” 

“Yes Rona, an exception. A single exception. There can’t be two exceptions.” 

“Anything could happen! Plus if me and Bepo end up sharing a book you might be forced into hanging out with all of us! Who knows, maybe they also share a dorm!” 

You sigh and look at her, she looks so happy at the prospect that you might have a friend, especially one that’s a guy. You settled, your good side winning out. “Fine. I’ll be open to it. Only if he is nicer.” 

[3-2-whump]

Updated Intro Now That I Kinda Get How This Works:

Hello! It's 32W. I’ve been a long time lurker who finally wants to be part of this community! I’ve been into whump pretty much forever (since my formative years in the single digits), but Iv’e been reading, writing, and drawing whump on and off for the last 15 years. I can’t imagine getting to the point of feeling confident enough to post my own work, but who knows? My partner is probably getting tired of hearing how I want to torment my OC’s, so that is another motivation to start this side blog! For now though it’s probably gonna be very reblog-heavy.

Obligatory warning: minors DNI. Please. There’s gonna be nasty stuff on this blog probably.

Likes and Interests

Slavery whump

Captivity whump

Pet whump (not exactly BBU, but BBU’s not bad)

Noncon/NSFW -will tag!

Noncon body mod -e.g., branding, tattooing, piercing

Kidnapping

Bondage

Caretaking

Communication barrier (language barrier, nonverbal whumpee, etc.)

G/t dynamics -relatively new interest but I like it

Squicks (that how you say it? Things I don’t like)

Medical/lab whump

Gore -experimenting with mild gore, but I cannot handle a lot right now

Most hero/villain tropes -no shade, I’m just not into it

Supernatural whump -by this I mean magic and stuff. Again, nothing bad about it, just not really into it

Sickfics

I have a Masterlist now

Special thanks goes out to @burnticedlatte @demondamage @whumperofworlds @poc-whump and other blogs and the people behind them who inspired/encouraged the making of this blog. You guys are awesome ❤️

[calholic]

Can you do a fic about Bill or Tom (doesn’t matter who because atp I can’t decide whether I’m a Bill girl or a Tom girl 😭) where both him and reader have been dreaming of eachother, but they’ve never met like ever. Like randomly they started having dreams of eachother, but the catch is, they’ve been dreaming WITH eachother. Then maybe one day they see eachother irl and both are in shock to find out that they’ve been dreaming with eachother

(Sorry if this doesn’t make sense 😭)

T. KAULITZ x READER

★ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you haven’t gotten much sleep lately since you’ve been dreaming about a mysterious boy.

★ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: alcohol, swearing

★ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: LOL i am definitely a tom girl but anyways sorry i’ve been busy y’all 😻 i have to do band stuff (yes im in band) speaking of which though… band camp is starting soon so im gonna be really busy unfortunately 😭 but send reqs and i’ll try to write as much as i can and get a lot posted before i leave and i also try to post during it as well!! ALSOOOO my birthday is tomorrow yippee 🥳

you haven’t been able to sleep much recently, not ever since a mysterious bit appeared in your dreams. it was strange since you’ve never seen him before but you weren’t complaining since damn he was hot. your dreams with the boy were all very vivid, almost like they were real and you feel in control in those dreams, like it’s real life. you and the mysterious boy never speak in the dreams, usually you two would just enjoy each others company, amused by one another.

you wondered if that boy was real person dreaming just like you.

before you could overthink it though, you got up to get ready. you brushed you teeth, got changed and started making breakfast. you placed your food on the kitchen table before taking a seat and calling your friend liz. “can i come over later?” you asked her through the phone. “sure. i’m just picking breakfast right now, want some?” she asked. you looked down at your plate, deciding whether to eat at your place or abbi’s. “i’ll have some, see you later,” you said.

you packed your breakfast up put it in the fridge, making your way out the door to abbi’s house. since her place wasn’t that far, you would always walk over which took less that 15 minutes. when you finally got to her house, you decided to tell her all about your dreams with the mysterious hot boy. “okay so like the dreams are super vivid, but they’re just dreams,” you explained. “and the boy? do you know him?” she asked. “that’s the thing! i don’t know him, he’s like super mysterious,” you replied.

“well what does he look like?” she asked. you though about it entire giving your response. “well he has like dreadlocks, he wears baggy clothes and he has a lip piercing right here,” you explained, pointing to your lip. “he sounds totally hot,” abbi said sarcastically. “ugh you don’t get, i wud you could see him because he is totally hot,” you said. “yeah whatever,” she said.

you guys continued eating your food before abbi started talking. “do you wanna go out tonight?” she asked. “i don’t know… i’m not really i’m the mood,” you replied. “well maybe you’ll find your dream boy,” she said. “oh you’re right, fine i’ll go but you’re paying for first round of shots,” you said laughing as abbi rolled her eyes. you guys decided to go out to run some errands before going back to your place to get ready.

you guys first went to the post office since abbi had to mail something. you waited outside since she’d be awhile and as you waited you noticed someone that caught your eye. it was a boy who looked exactly the one in your dreams but… different? you thought. this boy had spiky black hair instead of dirty blonde dreadlocks. he was inside a gift shop across from the post office. you quickly rushed into the post office to grab abbi’s attention.

“abbi! look! across the street, that boy with black hair, do you see him?” you asked. “yeah…? what’s wrong with him?” she asked. “he looks exactly like the boy in my dreams,” you said. abbi didn’t speak for a second. “wow, i’m sorry i doubted you then, that boy is hot,” she said. “i know right?!” you replied. “well what are you going to do?” she asked. “nothing i guess, i mean what can i do?” you replied. “you’re right, let’s just go back to your place now,” she replied.

you two took a taxi back to yours since it would’ve been a 30 minute walk. “maybe we will fine your dream boy tonight, i mean we basically saw his twin today,” abbi said. “maybe,” you replied, focused on your mascara. abbi was curling her hair and you were doing your makeup as you waited for her to finish. you two switched before both finishing. “you done?” she asked. “almost,” you said, putting your hoop earring in. “okay! now i’m done,”

you guys took get another taxi to the club for a night out, hoping to find your dream boy or at least get drunk. the club was packed today, it’s not like it was the weekend so you weren’t sure why. as you two walked in you could tell the club was filed with girls, all in a crowd surrounding someone. you and abbi tried looking to see who it was but couldn’t push through the other girls. “is there a celebrity or something?” abbi asked. “i don’t know but let’s just go to the bar,” you replied. as you two left the crowd, you didn’t realize a pair of eyes following you.

you ordered your drink along with abbi and you guys started talking as you waited. “look around, do you see him?” you asked abbi. “i can’t tell this club is filled with girls,” she said. “yeah i wonder what that’s about,” you said as you looked at the crowd. your drinks arrived and you two started drinking, you both got shots. even though abbi could not hold alcohol she always insists on drinking and she was already drunk after her third shot.

she decided to walk around now, searching for a hookup and you decided to follow her. she laid eyes on a boy with curly brown hair and started making a move, you decided to leave her and go sit on a sofa. you sat around awkwardly now not knowing what to do until you locked eyes with familiar face. you couldn’t believe what you were seeing, it was the boy from your dreams. he had the dreadlocks and everything and he looked shocked to see you as well. you didn’t know if you should approach him or just leave it because what if he thinks you’re crazy?

you convinced yourself that you were seeing things and that the alcohol was kicking in so you went to the nearest bathroom you could find. you splashed your face with water before getting your phone out to text abbi about the encounter. you then prepared yourself and walked out.

“hey,” you heard a male voice call from behind you as you slowly turned around. “hello?” you asked. it was the same boy you saw a few minutes ago. “this may sound weird but i’ve been seeing you in my dreams lately and i haven’t been able to sleep. i knew i had to approach y since this was such a coincidence,” he said and you were surprised that he was dreaming about you as well. “wow, oh my gosh. i’ve been dreaming about you too, i wasn’t sure you were real when i saw you but i haven’t been able to sleep recently either,” you replied.

“let me buy you a drink,” he said. you nodded and followed him to the bar. you guys got to talking more and you both realized you’ve been dreaming about the same thing. “do you think we’ve been dreaming together? i mean my dreams feel pretty vivid,” you said. “surprisingly this makes sense,” he replied. you guys instantly clicked after that. you found out that his name was tom and you told him about your encounter with his “look-a-like” which you now know as his twin bill.

once you both left the bar you started texting instead and of course you had to tell abbi all about it.

[wosowrites]

Canadian Wonders (Jessie Fleming x Reader)

Warnings: None

A/N: This is so cute my heart melts for jessie

Prompt: Reader is australian, and has never seen a lot of snow before. So Jessie takes her to her home town to meet her family and have a traditional Canadian winter.

When you’ve lived in the land down under for 20 years, and then move to play for a huge club like Chelsea at 21, a lot of things take adjusting. But somehow, it wasn’t the intense training, or the new people, that was the biggest adjustment. It was the weather. You never went to university, not being a big scholar and being raised in a broken home with little money. Instead, you opted to go pro right away. You went pro in 2020, and was relieved to know you would have another aussie at the club with you. You and Sam Kerr had been playing together since you were 15 and she was 18. Soon enough, you got known as a pretty dynamic duo, arriving to winter practices in huge puffy coats, and covered head to toe. You were both strikers, and Emma loved playing you both at the top. In a bit over two years, you both reached your 100th game for Chelsea, having collected between the both of you, 169 goals and 32 assists.

In the middle of 2020, you met Jessie Fleming.

You both started dating in 2021, and 2 years later, you were still going strong. Jessie finally decided she wanted you to meet her family in person, and see her home town. So, in january of 2023, you hoped on a plane to London, Ontario. And you thought London, England was cold…

You stepped out of the small London, Ontario airport, the freezing cold hitting you right away. "I told you to put a coat on baby," Jessie said, laughing at your shocked face. "I didn’t think it would be this cold!" You said, shivering. "I warned you!" Jessie said, opening her long winter coat. You quickly dropped your bag at your feet and abandoned your suitcase, putting your arms around her and feeling the comfort of her body. Jessie closed the big coat around the both of you, kissing the top of your head.

You were taller than her only by an inch, but in your cold state, you were hunched over to stay warm.

"How quickly is Eylsse gonna get here?" You whined. "Just texted her, she’ll be here in- oh there she is." Jessie said.

You reluctantly left the comfort of your girlfriends body, pulling away and seeing Elysse and Tristan driving up in the family subaru. You saw the pure joy in their eyes, the happiness of seeing their sister. You felt happy for Jessie, happy she had that bond with her siblings, but also sad that yours hadn’t reached out to you in years.

Tristan and Elysse stepped out of the car, Elysse running up to Jessie and jumping in her arms. Tristan seemed more reserved, more like Jessie, so you opted for a simple handshake. "It’s nice to meet you in person, you’re taller than you seem on family facetimes." Tristan says. "Don’t lie to me," you laughed, knowing very well you were not tall. "Hey, Elysse!" You said. She hugged you tightly, smiling at you wildly. "I love your nose piercing, oh my god it looks so good on you! I’ve always wanted one but I don’t know if it would suit me." You say to Elysse. "You should get one! I know a really good guy if you want!" Elysse said, smiling at you. "I’ll think about it. Let’s just please get out of the cold." You said, grabbing both yours and Jessie’s luggage and bringing it to the car.

"Did you not tell your aussie girlfriend to wear a coat in Canada?" Elysse laughed, addressing her sister. "I did! She didn’t listen!" Jessie answered, watching as her girlfriend and brother put the luggage in the trunk. "She’s a gentleman," Elysse said, smiling. "You haven’t seen anything yet."

———

Michaele and John Fleming met you with open arms. Literally. The Fleming’s were warm, and inviting, the house smelled like fresh food and slightly of paint. You had all finished eating supper, a meal cooked to perfection by both Jessie’s parents, and were now sitting in the living room.

"I’m so happy you all managed to get time off work and school." Michaele said, pouring you a cup of coffee. "Me too, it’s really nice here." You said, thanking her with a nod for the warm drink. "You haven’t even hiked yet." Jessie told you. "Hiking? It’s too cold to hike." You said, shocked people went outside willingly in this weather. "Is not. In fact, that’s our first activity."

It was known to everyone that Jessie loved order. So when she told you that she had specific activities planned, you weren’t at all suprised.

"Tomorrow morning, 5:00 am, sunrise hike. Then skating on the mountain, then I want to bring you to a really cute coffee shop and show you my elementary school." Jessie said. "5:00 am!" You said, but we’re ignored. "Don’t forget your appointment! You’re getting a nose ring at 5:00 pm tomorrow." Elysse said.

It was true, the youngest Fleming had convinced you to go for it. Worse case scenario, you didn’t like it and let the hole close.

"How could I forget? Just you and me for that one, Els?" You asked her. "Yeah, mum and I are making supper. We’re only here three days." Jessie said.

A few hours later, you went to bed in Jessie’s childhood bedroom. It was surreal being in that are, seeing the trophies, the blue walls, the medals and framed pictures. "What would 14 year old you say if she knew that 24 year old you was lying in this same bed with her girlfriend?" You asked her as she traced patterns on your stomach. "I think she would pass out."

———

As Jessie had said, the next morning she had woken you up at 5:00 am. The whole thing was a blur. You remembered her literally having to dress you, and her telling you to be quiet as you tip toed down the stairs. She had bundled you up in a warm hat, a big winter coat, gloves and a scarf. Your hood was up the second you were out the door. You had fallen asleep in the car, and by the time you were to the mountains, it was almost 6:30.

"You ready baby?" Jessie said, opening the door for you and laughing at your grunt of an answer. You didn’t stay mad for long though, as you saw the still starry winter night peeking through the pine trees. "Oh, Jess. This is beautiful." You told her.

The both of you started your hike. Jessie had her camera with her and was taking pictures of you, and the world surrounding you the whole time you walked up the mountain. The snow was mangeable, due to the trail having been plowed. By the time you arrived at the top of the mountain, the sun was rising. Jessie pulled out a cover from her bag and put it in the snow. You cuddled up next to her, sipping a mocha Jessie had made.

The sky was painted orange, pink, red, yellow and purple, it was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. Well, second most beautiful thing. Jessie would always be first. "I’m happy you brought me here." you told her, peering into her eyes. "I’m happy you like it here." She answered. "One day, when we retire from football, I wouldn’t mind having a family with you here." You told her, nervous of her answer.

You didn’t meet her eyes, that is until she used her gloved fingers to lift your chin up. "I want that more than anything." Jessie said, kissing you lovingly.

[nnnyxie]

bokuto has piercings, tattoos, and likes rock & nu-metal

that’s all

goodbye

(actually i’m going to elaborate.)

bokuto grew up with two older sisters and there is NO WAY neither of them aren’t alternative/went through an alternative ‘phase’. his second (older) sister is/was definitely the alternative one (it’s a pattern i’ve seen [i, myself, am part of said pattern]). so she definitely played rock and nu-metal around him. i think he really looks up to his sisters so he asks her about the bands she likes, the tattoos or piercings she has, etc. he’ll learn about the music and community/culture just cause he thinks his sister is so cool and wants to be cool like her— and he just genuinely enjoys the music, style, and hair— which is the inspiration for his own hair. when he was young, his sister styled it like a singer she likes, and he kept it.

he got his first piercing at 14— it was the standard ear lobe but, he absolutely loved it.

his second piercing was at 15. it was a present from his sister. he had gotten a tragus, which took a long time to heal, especially since he kept forgetting it was there. (it had been on his right side, so he often accidentally hit it or got it caught).

his third was at 16, which he was very excited about. he was finally able to get a lip piercing. he decided to get snake bites after a long battle between a vertical labret, spider bites, and snake bites.

he was able to keep these all under wraps thanks to summer break. it allowed them to heal properly. plus, no one saw him during it since he was always out of town visiting family.

it wasn’t until he had to stay for the training camp and his sister decided to visit, that everyone found out— the day after school officially got out, she took him straight to the shop— she wanted matching piercings.

they ended up landing on a double brow— which was perfect since she needed to even out her brows.

everyone found out about his abundance of jewelry a few days after his piercing.

it was when he entered the gates of shinzen high.

his friends looked at him with comically wide eyes— and he just shrugged, not understanding the abnormality of the situation.

then, when he turned 18, he brought his sister in— deciding to pay for her piercing of choice, and his own. actually— he let her pick out his piercing this time. she chose his left nostril.

finally, when bokuto turned 20, he got his first ever tattoo. of course, it was something related to his sisters— it was a sun and moon facing each other, with stars surrounding them. people would call it ‘feminine’ but, it symbolized the three of them. he was the sun, his eldest sister was the stars, and his second sister was the moon. it meant a lot to him.

[thethirtyproject444]

08.03.24

I’m in the middle of my first period in a decade, I’m trying to organise a drastic move, and the overwhelm is making it really hard to keep plodding on and not just bury myself under a duvet 24/7.

But this evening I’ve made myself some garlic spaghetti, poured a lemon water and a glass of wine, and put on a comfort movie. Feels like a nice little haven.

I’ve been feeling super overwhelmed but I’m trying to keep on top of the important things like getting fresh air, sleeping, and eating regularly. Hoping the weather improving (if it ever does) will start taking care of the rest.

Alsooo I got my helix piercing swapped for a hoop today!!! Getting that piercing was one of the first things I did post-pandemic when I started getting out of the house again and it’s finally healed enough. I’ve wanted a hoop there since I was about 15, I’m so excited about it. An early bday present to myself.

[patchouliauthor]

Why Not? | Bill Hader x F!Reader

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI. Oral Sex (f. receiving) Switch!Bill if you squint, Unprotected P in V (wrap it up), professor!Bill, alcohol, mentions of daddy issues. Age gap but obvi still legal.

Word Count: 4270 something

A/N: this is the first one-shot I’ve posted and it’s because there is a LACK of Bill Hader smut and I’m here to solve that problem. Please send me more requests I love getting compliments and that’s what I am doing this for. There will be a part 2 and maybe even a part 3 to this idk.

Summary: You are a waitress and a college student. You meet the handsome Dr. Hader at your work and hit it off quickly. 

You had been working at this waitress gig for two years. It had grown into a second home for you while you were away at college. Serving plates of greasy food to quite an interesting crowd of people filled with interesting stories became commonplace to you, and it always kept you entertained. 

The summer was hot; this was the first time you spent summer in your college town as you were gearing up for your final semester. Finally graduating with a degree in Communication Studies, just 15 credits to go. Just had to get through the summer and then the five long months you had left. Did you know what you would do after college? Not yet, but you were surely going to figure it out. You always did.

You looked at the clock. Only an hour till you clocked out. Despite loving your job, you also loved going home and getting off of your aching feet. You were going to finish your last tasks for the night when your favorite host comes up to you. 

“I sat a guy in your section. He said it’s for two.” She said. She scurried along back to her station and you sighed. One more table won’t kill you, you suppose.

You looked over to the man and he had a bouquet of flowers. He looked rather nervous also, which confirmed your suspicions that this was a first date. He was quite handsome too, with dark hair and blue eyes. He was quite a bit older than you, you thought, maybe 45. A first date at 45? What an interesting fellow.

You walked to the table. “Hey there! Welcome in. What can I get for you?” 

He seemed startled. “Oh, I’ll just take a water with lemon for now.”

You smiled at him and went to get him his drink. You returned to the table with the glass and set it down. He doesn’t seem to notice as he is just looking out the window towards the parking lot.

“Can I get you anything else or would you like to wait for the rest of your party?” You asked quietly, trying not to startle him.

“I’ll wait. Thank you.” He said, smiling. He had a nice smile, and you really hoped he wasn’t going to get stood up. Then again, if he did, maybe you could offer this poor, handsome man some comfort.

“No problem. You’re my last table of the night so if you need anything just let me know.” You said. You smiled and walked away. 

An hour went by and no one joined the man at the table. You sat at the bar looking over at him. Your best friend Vic is the bartender, and the coolest person you know; they have dark green hair, both nostrils pierced, and patchwork sleeve tattoos featuring work from so many artists. Not to mention that they could read your mind.

“That guy’s been there forever. You should go see if he needs some company.” They said, smirking.

“Don’t tempt me. Why am I always attracted to older men?” You said back.

You turned to look at them and you both said at the same time. “Daddy issues.”

You both laughed and turned back to the man as he checked his watch and then looked at the door.

“Seriously, how long has it been since you were over there?” Vic asked.

“About 20 minutes. Should I go over again?”

“Only if you give him your number.” 

You rolled your eyes at them, but you did decide to go over again. He sighed and smiled at you as you walked up. 

“You want to order something? The kitchen is closing soon.” You said gently.

He sighed, his eyes sadder than his smile. “I’m alright. I’ll just take the check.”

You chuckled. “You just got a glass of water with lemon, I’m not going to charge you.”

“But I wasted so much of your time, I want to at least give you a tip.” He said.

You hold back the inappropriate joke threatening to spill out of your mouth. “How about I get you a real drink so your evening isn’t wasted.”

He looked at you and then down at the table before chuckling. “Hell, why not?”

You smiled. “How do you like your whiskey?”

“How do you know that I like whiskey?” he asked.

“If you don’t answer I’m getting it neat.”

He chuckles again. “I prefer neat.”

You smiled for what seemed like the 100th time at the man and went back to Vic to get his drink. They already had it poured and had a glass of your favorite cocktail right next to it. They pretended not to notice you approaching the bar. You rolled your eyes and smirked as you took both drinks. You and Vic had gotten quite used to the regulars here, and it wasn’t hard to guess the type of drink the man would want when he walked in. You considered yourselves pros at guessing, sometimes even making competitions out of it. As you headed back to the table you heard Vic whisper “Go get em tiger.”

You set the whiskey down in front of him and sat down across from him. He looked up with amused confusion.

“Sorry, I thought you could use the company.” You said, taking a long sip from your drink.

He smiled that gorgeous smile again. “You’d be right.”

“First date?” You asked, even though you knew the answer.

He looked down. “Yeah, the first in a really long time.”

“Oh?” You asked. You really hoped he wasn’t a widow or divorced, you’d hate to see those pretty blue eyes well up with tears, ever.

“Yeah, I…” He trailed off for a few seconds. “My last relationship didn’t end the best way.” 

You continued to look at him, waiting for him to finish that thought.

“I woke up one morning and she was gone.” He said, looking up at you, gauging your reaction.

“Oh. Were you married?” You asked.

“Oh no. We had a pretty long relationship but we never made that step.” He said quickly.

You were relieved despite yourself. You didn’t think you actually had a chance did you? Did you think that he would be interested in someone possibly 20 years younger than him? You shook that from your head and continued.

“So what do you do for a living?” You asked.

“Actually, I’m a college professor.” He said.

“Really? That’s impressive.”

“Not really. When you socialize with professors all day you realize they are just stuffy, but not much more special than other people.” He said.

“So do you have a PhD.?” You asked.

“I actually have two.” He said bashfully.

“Two? You are quite an interesting man.” You said, smiling over your drink.

He returned the grin while looking into your eyes.

You talked for a long time, nursing your drinks, until you saw Vic mopping the floor. He noticed at the same time.

“Let me pay for your drink.” He said

“Absolutely not.” You answered.

“Please? It’s the least I could do.” He said as he gave you slight puppy dog eyes.

You caved and went to get his check. As you input the information, you gave him your employee discount. You returned the check to the table. “I’ll take it whenever you’re ready.” 

He pulled out his card and handed it to you, and you took it to ring him up. You also decided to write your phone number on the check. What’s the harm? At least maybe you could make friends with someone who would be a great reference on job applications.

When you returned with the card and the check, you handed it to him. “You have a great night…” You trailed off as you realized you never asked his name.

“Bill. You have a great night too, Y/N.” He replied.

It took you a beat to remember your name tag, but when you did you smiled. You enjoyed hearing him say your name, and you hoped you’d get to hear it again. 

You headed to the back to clock out. You put your apron in your little cubby and went back out to grab his check to take it to the back. When you approached the table, you realized he left the bouquet he had brought. Daisies and baby’s breath. You picked up the bouquet and the check that he had left for you, and realized you weren’t the only one to leave a note.

“For you. Thanks for saving my evening.”

You were shocked, but flattered regardless. The floral aroma from the gorgeous arrangement warmed your heart and you took the check to Vic so they could put it in the banker’s box in the office. Vic smiled at the bouquet, but only wished you a goodnight and nothing else.

As you approached your car, you looked at your phone. You had a text from an unknown number.

“I had a great time. I hope I’m not being too forward, but I’d love to see you again.”

You smiled at your phone and then you got another text.

“Oh sorry, this is Bill by the way.”

~

A few days had passed and you were getting ready for your second “date” with Bill. Did you consider your last encounter a date? Maybe this one was your first real date. 

You were going to The Solstice, a place that Vic recommended. They told you it was super low-key, perfect for a little date with an older man.

You were lining your eyelids with dark brown eyeshadow to create a siren eye effect. You also picked out a perfect black dress that accentuated your curves and black platform Mary Janes. You hoped the outfit wasn’t too dark, but you looked too good in black to pass it up. It was almost time to leave so you called an Uber to take you from your loft apartment. 

You loved your place, it was like a sanctuary to you. Your grandma had signed the lease on it when you were a sophomore in high school and decided where you wanted to go to school. She surprised you with the keys when you graduated. It had just the right amount of space and you felt so grateful. You didn’t know it then, but your grandma had been saving up the money to buy you this since you were born. When you found out, you drove home immediately to thank her in person.

The car pulled up to your apartment complex and you triple checked the license plate before you got in. The ride was uneventful, and you kept looking at your messages, worried that he’d text and cancel. Those fears subsided when your car pulled up to the door and he was standing outside waiting. 

He was wearing a gray casual suit that fit him perfectly. He wore just a plain white t-shirt underneath the jacket and white vans. Such a simple look but so flattering. You tried not to drool as you opened the door and stepped out onto the sidewalk.

When he looked up at you, his eyes brightened and he smiled wide. He had a funny look in his eyes like he was trying not to look you up and down. You wished he would.

You smiled back at him and gave him a hug. It’s at this moment you two hear the music pumping loudly from inside The Solstice. Maybe this wouldn’t be as low-key as you had planned. But hey, at least your outfit will fit in.

As you walked into the venue, it looked like a run-of-the-mill bar. So you were confused why the lights were so dim and the music was so loud. It gave off more of a nightclub vibe, and you weren’t sure how he’d react to that. It was then you saw the sign. “SATURDAY- DJ MIKE.” Of course the one night you came here, the DJ with the loudest speakers ever had to have a set. How were you going to have a conversation with this shy academic?

You turn to talk to him but when you look to where he was, he was not there. You start to worry that the environment had already freaked him out and that he left without another word, when you turn and spot him at the bar. He turned back and looked at you and offered a happy smile. You were still so shocked at his confidence; where did this come from? The bartender slid him two glasses and he set some cash on the counter before he turned back to you and smiled.

“Here you go.” He said as he handed you your drink. It shocked you that he remembered your favorite drink from your last evening together. Maybe you need to evaluate the type of men you typically go out with.

You smiled and took a sip of the drink. You almost immediately felt the confidence seeping into you from the alcohol. He looked over to a corner and found an empty table, then he lightly placed his hand on your lower back and walked with you over to the table.

When you sat down you immediately started apologizing. “I’m sorry. I’ve never been here before so when I suggested it I didn’t know it would be so loud.”

He smiled and shrugged. “Don’t apologize, I don’t mind at all. As long as there is a place where we can hang out, I’m fine with whatever.”

You again bite back the inappropriate urge to tell him that you could hang back at your apartment and instead take another drink of the cocktail he got you.

You talk each others’ ears off for a while, every once in a while stopping so he could get more drinks. The confidence from the liquor was drawing you to the dance floor.

“Do you want to dance?” You asked.

He giggled. “What?”

“Do you want to go dance with me?” You asked again, unwavering.

He contemplated for a few seconds, looking you in the eyes as he pondered the idea. Maybe he’s never really done this before. You didn’t mind, you just really wanted to get on the floor.

“Why not?” He said. It seemed like that could become a theme in your dynamic. You keep pushing him out of his comfort zone, but you hoped you weren’t being too pushy.

You smiled and grabbed his hand and walked to the dance floor. The DJ didn’t play any songs that you particularly wanted to dance to at all for the whole night, but that was when he played the song. “Maneater” by Nelly Furtado. You heard the “take it back” and immediately started dancing. 

The lights were dim enough that you could barely see anyone else, but you still had a hold on Bill’s hand. You then felt his presence right behind you. Without thinking you immediately grinded back into him and you felt his breath hitch against your ear. He slowly placed his hands on your hips and began following your movements. He kept his head behind your left shoulder as you continued to move your hips in a tantalizing circular way. You may not be the best dancer, but the liquor in your system seemed to say otherwise.

He was pressed tightly to your back. You could feel his breath on your neck and it was starting to become a distraction. You felt needier and needier with every second his hands were on you. The liquor was seemingly adding to his confidence as well, and the grip he had on your hips loosened and he started exploring more of your body. 

The song continued, and you did too. It felt like he was touching every inch of you and it was never going to be enough. You could never be too close to him. You turned around and as you did you realized by the tightness in his gray pants that he was feeling the same way as you. His eyes were only half open and he looked slightly disheveled.

“Call an Uber.” You said.

He didn’t say anything but instead whipped out his phone, ordering an Uber to his place at lightning speed.

Three more songs played but you barely noticed. You kept your eyes either on him or on the ETA of the car coming to pick you up. When it said it was a minute out, he grabbed your hand and swiftly walked towards the door. The car pulled up and he opened the door for you after checking the license plate. You slid into the car and he followed quickly behind.

The car ride was excruciating. If there was any more privacy in the vehicle, you know you would have been all over him. It was clear the driver thought so too by the looks he gave you periodically through the rear-view mirror. Bill’s place was only five minutes away from The Solstice, but it felt like five hours. His finger drew circles on your exposed thigh, and you instantly knew you were going to have a great night.

When the car stopped at his condo, he jumped out faster than you have ever seen someone move. He had your door open before you could even process that the car had stopped, and he reached out his hand to help you out of the car. He offered a quick “Thank you” to the driver and hurriedly walked inside, tightly gripping your hand the whole way. His hands shook slightly as he placed his key in the lock and opened the door. 

You took a step in and tried to take a look around. In seconds, he had the door shut and had you pressed up against it. You looked into his beautiful blue eyes as they darkened.

“Tell me if you don’t want to do this. I’ll never forgive myself if I take advantage of you.” He said quietly, his lips just inches from yours.

“I want to do this.” You said. You had barely got the words out when his lips were on yours. Despite the intensity of the kiss, you could feel that you were both smiling. One of his hands that pinned you to the door by your hips slid up and held your face, while your hands found a home within his tousled brown hair. The kiss continued to grow more and more desperate and he pressed further into you, lifting your leg up to his waist. 

He moved his lips from your mouth and down to your neck while you gasped for air. He kissed and sucked on your neck and you instantly knew you’d have to explain yourself to Vic, who no doubt would tease you about this for months. 

You felt the hardness in his pants graze across your core and couldn’t help the breathy moan that escaped your mouth. At the sound, Bill again captured your lips with his. He dropped your leg and began to walk you back to his bedroom, his mouth never leaving yours. When you felt the bed hit the back of your legs, you decided to seize control. You flipped him around and shoved him back onto his bed. He looked up at you with his puppy dog eyes and red swollen lips. His hair was wild and his cheeks tinted pink. He looked so beautiful and you felt an incredibly animalistic urge within you. You turned and shut his door while he continued to look at you. He started to get up.

“Ah ah ah.” You said. You swore you heard him whimper as he laid back against the pillows. 

You kicked off your shoes and slowly started taking off your dress. Underneath, you wore your favorite matching red bra and panties. As good as you looked in black, you looked twice as good in red. As you watched him freely look at your body in amazement, you knew you made the right choice.

“You can touch me now.” You said, and he was up in a flash.

He walked over towards you and put his hands on your waist, but he didn’t kiss you. Instead he continued to trace every inch of you with his eyes, like he was committing you to memory. Like at any moment you’d disappear and he’d awaken from this dream.

“You’re so beautiful.” He said, barely above a whisper. 

He finally kissed you but this one was different. It was slow and full of passion. It slowly started building up, resuming the desperation from before. It was then you realized he was fully clothed and you grabbed his suit jacket and roughly pulled it off of him. Next, you tugged at the bottom of his shirt, and you both broke the kiss just long enough for you to quickly take it off of him.

You sat down on the bed and began to take off his belt when he pushed you so your back was on the bed. As you made eye contact with him he began slowly sliding your panties down your legs.

His eyes never left yours as he placed a kiss upon your naked core.

“Oh honey, you’re just soaked. Is this all for me?” He asked.

“All for you Bill.” You answered.

He began licking the sensitive bud and you threw your head back in pleasure. He started to pick up the pace, sucking harsher and harsher and lapping up all of your juices. You could tell he had done this before, and that he was a fucking god at it.

You could feel yourself starting to come undone when he pushed a long finger inside of you. You moaned loudly at the sensation and you felt him hum with satisfaction. He pumped in and out of you slowly, savoring the feeling of you wrapped around his finger, literally.

“Oh Bill. I’m gonna-” 

“Cum for me baby.” He interrupted you. You didn’t need to be told twice.

You released hard and fast all over his beautiful face. While you were coming down from your high, you saw him stand up, his face glistening with you all over him. You smiled and he smiled right back.

“Want to taste yourself honey?”

You thought you could come undone for a second time at his words alone. You nodded and he dipped down to kiss your lips.

You pull him into another heated kiss and you flip him over so his back on the mattress. You start working at his belt, trying desperately to pull his pants off of him. Once you got them off, you saw the wet spot on his gray boxers. The tent he was forming within them intimidated you slightly, but you were determined to make it work regardless.

You yanked his boxers down his legs and watched his member spring up and hit his stomach. Watching that happen could only be considered a religious experience. You grabbed his large cock and started pumping. His head flew back in pleasure.

You began to wrap your mouth around him when he yanked your head back up.

“No.” He slightly growled. “I need to be inside you. Now.”

He pulled you up so you were above him and he lined up with your entrance. You tried to sink down onto him but he held you up by the waist.

“You’re sure you want to do this?” He asked. Always the gentleman. Asking for consent was the bare minimum but with him it was also incredibly sexy. 

“I’ve never been more sure.” You said and pushed his hands off of your hips. You sank down onto him slowly, adjusting to his size. 

“Bill. You are so big.” You praised him.

He groaned loudly at the feeling of you around him. “You feel so good Y/N.”

After you fully took him in and the pain turned into pleasure, you started bouncing up and down. He helped you by placing his hands firmly on your waist. You bounced for a bit and then sat down on him harshly, rolling your hips in a circle. His eyes rolled back into his head.

You could feel your second climax coming soon and he noticed you start to falter, so he flipped you over so you are on your back and he’s on top. He started pounding into you like you’re the only thing holding him to earth. 

“Bill, you're going to make me cum.” You moaned into his ear and he moaned back at your words. You felt his hips start to stutter as well. 

“Cum with me. Please.” He begged and he reached down to your clit. He rubbed circles on your most sensitive area and that pushed you over the edge. Feeling your release, he pulled out just in time and sprayed his seed all over your stomach. As he finished, he laid his head down on your shoulder. You both were panting and covered in sweat.

After a few moments he got up and went to the bathroom. He grabbed a washcloth and soaked it in warm water before he returned and cleaned you up. Your eyelids felt so heavy with the weight of how intense the past moments were.

He climbed back into bed and wrapped his arms around you tightly, pulling you into him. After a few moments, when he thought you were asleep, he whispered a soft “Thank you” in your ear. You tried to hide the grin creeping up your face as you slowly drifted off to sleep in his warm embrace.

A/N: If you want to be added to my taglist please let me know! Hope you enjoy!

[mizkit]

new blog post: my dumb ear

new blog post on https://mizkit.com/my-dumb-ear/

my dumb ear

In a blog post of spectacular unimportance, I am so very happy to say that my dumb ear, in which I got a helix piercing on October 19, 2022, has actually healed!

The remainder of this post may involve vague grossness that the delicate among us might not want to read. Not lots of grossness, but a bit. :)

After noticing that it seemed to have (for want of a better phrase) dried up a lot recently, I went in to have it checked yesterday. The nice woman, who I think was an entirely new person from anybody else who’d ever looked at it, examined it quite closely and said it’s still a bit red and sort of swollen/chunky-feeling, but that there is FINALLY no more moisture or “goo,” as I was calling it (“secretions,” she said, “that’s the professional word for ‘goo,'”) inside the ear hole anymore. So basically it’s HEALED! It still needs time to rest and hopefully the remaining swelling will fade, but honestly I’m so glad. I’ve been fighting the sunk cost fallacy with it for months, trying to convince myself that if it hadn’t healed by October 19 (which would be the 2 year mark) that I should give it up, but after spending so much TIME trying to get it to heal I really didn’t WANT to, and also I LIKE it, so I’ve been agonizing and kind of miserable about it.

But. This is actually a huge step forward. It’s HEALED, not just mostly healed or almost there, but actually no longer an open wound and I’m so incredibly relieved.

Right now I’ve got a hoop in it–I have since maybe March? Maybe April? Maybe January? I don’t even remember, but I think March. It hadn’t healed with a stud and the hoop was kind of the last-ditch attempt to see if it would heal. They don’t usually use hoops because they move more and are easier to knock around, which can cause, healing issues, but since the front hadn’t healed in 15-18 months ANYWAY they figured trading the stud for a hoop wasn’t going to hurt it at that point, and it might help. Which it has! If I’m going to have a random earring in it while it continues to settle I’d rather it was a stud, but also…I think I’ll leave the hoop in place until at least October, because even though I really want to trade it out for a stud I also don’t want to aggravate it at what is presumably a fairly early stage of Actually Healed.

Anyway, the point of that paragraph was more or less going to be “I suspect that overall I’m going to want to choose a permanent stud for that ear hole, because I suspect it may remain delicate and it might be better to just leave one there rather than take them in and out,” but that’s also probably a problem for Future Me. I have a tiny diamond earring I bought in college when I got my 2nd piercing in my left ear that may end up being the permanent earring there, but I wouldn’t want to sleep on it, so…well, we’ll see how the whole thing heals up in the longer term.

I’m really relieved I chose not to take action when the woman in May who looked at it when it had REALLY gooed up said I had cartilage slippage and it would never heal and that I should take it out. It wasn’t that I was certain she was wrong, but it was at a really bad swollen stage right then and I’d seen it like that before and it had calmed down, so at the very least I wanted it to calm down before I made a decision about removing it. I went back in about a month later when it had calmed and they said it was still ‘moist’ (not a word you really want to hear about a wound, especially one almost 2 years old) but that there wasn’t any sign of slippage or anything, so, like, I THOUGHT SO. And now two months after THAT it has finally reached the tentative stage of Actually Healed.

Man, this was supposed to be part of my Stuff I Wanted To Do To Celebrate Turning Fifty. I planned for this 4th ear hole on the left side and to get a 3rd on the right side, and then maybe get the tattoo I’ve been thinking about for years. But I didn’t want to get the right ear pierced again until I knew if the left one was gonna heal, because I’ve never wanted a matching number of ear holes. I’ve always wanted 1 more on the left than on the right. So I couldn’t get a non-cartilage-piercing that would almost certainly heal up just fine before the damn helix one healed. So I got the left one done SEVEN AND A HALF MONTHS before my birthday, ’cause that should be enough time, right? And now here I am, 51 and counting, and that piercing has only just now healed. I can still do the rest, obviously, but, like, who gets body mods to celebrate turning 52? That’s just weird, not, like, you know, a Statement or a Decisive Action or whatever. :)

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders Viewers' Choice #21: Deviljho

today on Grailfinders, we’re making more a grail eater. that’s right, it’s the Deviljho! one of these suckers can eat an entire ecosystem, so hopefully the grail can keep him full long enough to finish this build. he’s a Rune Knight Fighter to get to proper Deviljho size, as well as a Barbarian to put some extra power into his attacks. we have to make this guy able to beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker, so advantage on his strength checks really helps there.

check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

Ancestry & Background

in order to pick a race for our big lizard, we first have to ask ourselves; what the fuck is “dragon” elemental damage? in Monster Hunter, this appears as a cloud of nasty looking black energy that hangs around the Deviljho and weakens your offensive power, which would likely be either necrotic or poison damage in D&D. this means that depending on your view, either the spell Spirit Shroud or the invocation Cloak of Flies would be the perfect addition to a Deviljho, but unfortunately the rest of the build only leaves us with two levels free, and both of those options require five to work. thankfully, there is a second-best option we can pick up as easily as a feat, so we’ll be calling dragon energy Necrotic in this build.

Now that that’s settled, there’s two options for the race. a gem dragonborn is nice, especially if you want a really impressive breath weapon, but wotc’s already provided us with a lizard that bites its enemies, eats them, and even uses them as weaponry, and I’d be a fool not to go with the Lizardfolk with all they have going for them. specifically we’re going with the Volo’s Guide to Monster’s version since that’s the only one with Cunning Artisan, which allows you to turn a dead beast, contruct, dragon, monstrosity, or plant creature into one of various kinds of weapons.

you also gain a Swim Speed and the ability to Hold Breath for fifteen minutes at a time. you ended up in the New World somehow, right?

and of course, the reason we’re all here, your Bite attack. instead of the normal 1 damage per hit, you deal 1d6 piercing damage. on top of that, once per short rest you can use your Hungry Jaws to tear into somebody as a bonus action, dealing regular biting damage on a hit and giving yourself temporary HP equal to your constitution modifier.

you also have Hunter’s Lore, giving you proficiency with Nature and Stealth because a) you are natural, and b) you have that kaiju-tier stealth- nobody notices you until you’re already eating them.

and you have Natural Armor giving you a minimum of 13+your dex and you can use a shield if you want- that fat bastard the great jagras can really take hits for you.

my god is the lizardfolk statblock a doorstopper. don’t worry, this is all balanced out by the levels themselves going by super quick, not using spells saves so much time.

finally, your background. like all monsters you are an Outlander, mostly because you literally could not fit into society if you tried. also people keep killing you for parts, which makes holidays awkward.

that means you have proficiency with Athletics and Survival, the latter because you’re a giant monster, the former because you’re a giant monster that throws other giant monsters around like ragdolls.

Ability Scores

we’re going with point buy on this build. sorry, but if you want to play a mindless boss monster you have to be willing to minmax a bit. set Strength to 15, I feel I’ve made why apparent by now, but it’s how you bite stuff and how you lift up your enemies to break their friends backs like a socialist Bane. Dexterity and Constitution are set to 14 apiece- you’ve got the bulk of a mid- to end-game boss and despite that bulk you can move pretty damn fast. sure, you fall into pit traps and get poisoned frequently, but it’s usually never more than once a fight. Wisdom is down at 12. I’m sure a literal animal is well attuned to nature- especially once all that nature is digesting- but you’re also kind of just rampaging all over the place. and all that means we’re dumping Intelligence and Charisma down at 8. once again, you are literally an animal. if we could knock intelligence below three I’d do it in a heartbeat. also, not a conversationalist. wild, I know.

Class Levels

1. Fighter 1: as a first level fighter you have proficiency with Strength and Constitution saves, as well as Animal Handling (in the style of Nero) and Intimidation.

you also get a Fighting Style, and strange as it sounds, we’re picking up the Throwing style so you can pick up a lot more crap. with this, you can draw and throw a weapon at the same time, dealing extra damage in the process. I’m not entirely sure if picking up a cool rock you found qualifies as “drawing”, but it’s close enough to make an argument. if your DM isn’t cool with it, the unarmed style is a good option for tail attacks, and sorry you can’t throw people at people.

you also get a Second Wind to eat your own tail as a bonus action to restore health. it doesn’t make the tail grow back though, as funny as that would be.

2. Fighter 2: second level fighters can make an Action Surge once a day for an extra action to do as they please. mostly biting people. it’s almost definitely going to be used to bite people more, Deviljho are a menace.

3. Fighter 3: by level three all Deviljho have become so scarred they’re now Rune Knights, making them Rune Carvers of their own bodys. flavor-wise. mechanically you still need actual objects to put runes in. each rune comes with two powers- one is always active as long as you are wearing or holding the object; while the other requires you to choose to activate it, usually as a reaction, once per short rest. to start off, you can carve a Frost Rune, which passively gives you advantage on animal handling and intimidation checks, and actively gives you ten minutes of +2s to all strength and constitution checks and saves. meanwhile, the Stone Rune gives you darkvision and advantage on insight checks, and you can react to charm a creature that ends its turn near you for one minute if they fail a wisdom save. have you ever gotten trapped in a stun animation in Monster Hunter? those things take forever to finish.

you also gain some Giant Might, letting you spend a bonus action to grow large, gain advantage on strength checks and saves, and you deal extra damage with your attacks once a turn. you can grow this way proficiency times a day, and each use lasts a minute. you can now reach ten feet in length, while even the smallest Deviljho you can hunt is… 60’. we’re working on it, don’t worry.

4. Fighter 4: use your first ASI for more Strength. bite harder. this is my final message.

5. Fighter 5: fifth level fighters get an Extra Attack each attack action to combo your enemies into the ground. or more likely into a little cart driven by a bunch of cats. the cats are unionized though, you can’t eat them.

6. Fighter 6: sixth level fighters get another ASI, but this time we’re going to get funky with it. grab the Strike of the Giants feat- now, once per turn, proficiency times a day, you can turn any attack you make into a Hill Strike, adding an extra d6 of damage and forcing what you hit to make a strength save or fall prone. basically every attack you make can knock a hunter on their ass, this is just the tip of the iceberg.  hillberg. whatever.

7. Fighter 7: speaking of hill giants, at level seven you can make a Hill Rune, giving you advantage on saves against being poisoned and resistance to poison damage. you can also invoke the run to gain resistance to physical damage for one minute. Deviljhos aren’t actually that thick-skinned, this is more just a way to make your HP total look even bigger than it is.

8. Fighter 8: some people (especially those on the wrong end of an angry pickle) would probably call a Deviljho proof of a vengeful god, and I’d believe them. that’s why we’re using this ASI to make this Deviljho Divinely Favored. now you can cast Thaumaturgy as a cantrip to make your screams so loud people need HG earplugs to drown them out, and you can cast Augury and Hex once a day each.

augury’s whatever, but Hex is our breath weapon for this build. I know it’s not an Aoe attack, but it lets you deal extra damage over time like a rage mode, and besides that I usually play MH singleplayer anyway. don’t lie to me, we all know most MHs have weird online setups. that aside, when you Hex someone, they take extra necrotic damage every time you hit them, and they have disadvantage on one kind of check for up to an hour. on top of that, if you drop them to 0 HP you can move the hex over to another creature. that means you can also more easily pin and grapple someone while enraged, and once they’re carted away you can turn on their friends!

9. Fighter 9: ninth level fighters are Indomitable, letting you re-roll a failed save once per short rest. I’d make sure your concentration saves go well, you’re pretty good at them already, and dropping your one spell of the day would really suck. maybe that’s why they fall into pit traps so often, they’re just saving their rerolls for their rages…

10. Fighter 10: tenth level rune knights have a Great Stature, which makes you a little taller even while “normal” sized, and lets you deal even more damage with Giant’s Might. you can also carve a Storm Rune now, so you can’t be surprised and have advantage on arcana checks passively. Yes, Deviljho are quite practiced occultists. you’d know if you sat one down and asked it. and survived. you can also activate the run to enter a special state for one minute, allowing you to react to any check, attack, or save made nearby, giving it advantage or disadvantage. dragonblight weakens your offensive power in MH, and now you can do that in D&D too.

11. Barbarian 1: now that we have most of the deviljho kit down, let’s get a little wild. as a barbarian you can Rage whenever you’re not wearing heavy armor. you technically can as a fighter, but you’re supposed to be a giant lizard, so you shouldn’t be wearing any. while raging, you have advantage on strength checks and saves, deal bonus damage with strength-based melee attacks, and have resistance to physical damage. this lasts for a minute or until you stop fighting stuff, and you can’t concentrate on spells for the duration either. your runes only work once a short rest, so having a few rages to burn through each day can help keep your playstyle more consistent.

you also gain Unarmored Defense, which scales with constitution. right now, it’s the same as your usual lizardy skin, but that will change as we go. it’s a shame they changed your natural defense from the original flavor, a flat +3 on top of this would’ve been amazing for a Deviljho.

12. Barbarian 2: second level barbarians can make Reckless Attacks, gaining advantage on your melee attacks at the cost of giving your enemies advantage to hit you as well.

you also have a Danger Sense, giving you advantage on dexterity saves from things you can see. yes, you’ll still fall into pit traps, but when you’re angry enough you just kind of pop back out.

13. Fighter 11: another Extra Attack! the wombo combo is real. that’s three attacks per action, up to six with Action Surge, and possibly even a seventh with Hungry Jaws. with a turn like that, you could chew through anything.

14. Fighter 12: use this ASI to bump up your Constitution for more health and a better AC at long last.

15. Fighter 13: thirteenth level fighters are Indomitable again, so now you can re-roll two failed saves! it’s not complicated, but neither is a Deviljho.

16. Fighter 14: we’ve got enough flat buffs under our belt, let’s get real funky. nobody really knows where Deviljho come from, so technically making you a Scion of the Outer Planes isn’t the most out-there option for a wyvern we’ve seen so far. thanks to your connection to Chaos, you have resistance to Necrotic damage and access to the spell Minor Illusion. admittedly the spell isn’t that in-character, but you can use it to make your loud roars while raging or any other cool effects you want. this is mostly a stepping stone to our real goal. honestly, even the resistance to necrotic isn’t in character- you’re supposed to be weak to dragon elemental damage, and now you resist it. I guess this makes up for this build capping out at ¼ the size of even the smallest true Deviljho.

17. Fighter 15: at level fifteen you’re scarred enough to become a Master of Runes, letting you invoke your runes twice per short rest instead of once. you also get one last rune, and we’re running out of good ones. Cloud is the least egregious, you get advantage on sleight of hand and deception checks, and you can force another creature to take a hit you were supposed to as a reaction. longswords- not even once.

18. Fighter 16: with our final ASI, we get our true reason for the last feat- as a Cohort of Chaos you can finally even out your Strength score, and every time you roll a 1 or 20 on an attack or save you fire up a Chaotic Flare, which lasts until the end of your next turn. it’s like wild magic, but good! there’s four possibilities for a flare- either your Dragon Aura flares up and everyone within 10’ of you takes force damage when they move or start their turn in it, you can give a battle fury to a creature for advantage on their attack rolls and disadvantage on their checks, you can leap unbound to travel to any space within 30’ of you, or you can roar, giving all creatures within 60’ of you disadvantage on all wisdom saves for a round. you can even use this feature without waiting for luck proficiency times a day as a bonus action!

19. Fighter 17: the seventeenth level of fighter is simple, but powerful- an additional use of both Action Surge and Indomitable. being a Deviljho really is about the fundamentals. and also screaming so loud everyone goes deaf.

20. Fighter 18: at level 18 we get the reason we couldn’t dip into anything else- the final ability of your subclass, the Runic Juggernaut. now when you use Giant’s Might you deal 1d10 extra damage, and your size is bumped up to huge, and your reach increases by 5’! again, we’re still at 15’ to the real Deviljho’s 60’, but this is a good enough size to pick up the larger animals in a Monster Hunter world and start chucking them like footballs, even while they’re alive.

Pros & Cons:

Pros:

you can do a lot of damage in a short amount of time thanks to your multitude of bite attacks mixed with both the once per turn boosts of the Hill Strike/Giant Might, as well as consistent damage from either Hex or Rage. all in all, you can deal 1d10+8d6+28 piercing damage, plus 7d6 necrotic damage in a single turn for an average of around 86 damage, or even a little more depending on how big the creatures you fling around are.

you also take a lot of damage to bring down, with multiple forms of resistance to attack, a good health pool, and even ways to gain health by eating your own foes, all adds up to you being one tough pickle to crack.

your runes and chaos effects both give you access to magic-like effects that you can use even while raging, circumventing one of the biggest weaknesses barbarians have- restricted access to magical nonsense. with these you can teleport, stun people, and force disadvantage on their attacks, all without having to give up the damage and protection of rages.

Cons:

as far as damage goes, you mostly only have nonmagical sources. sure, you have Hex, but that only works once a day- if you have a second fight or drop concentration, you’re completely out of options, unless your DM rules hitting people with magic items counts for something. maybe that’s why you don’t qualify as an elder dragon.

Cohort of Chaos gives your build some much-needed variety, but it’s. y’know. chaotic. keeping the enemy from knowing your next move is a grand idea, but it would help if you knew what your next move was. still, at least you can use it yourself, unlike wild mages.

your wisdom saves aren’t great, and they aren’t helped by one of your own chaos effects making them weaker. that means it’s really easy for a smart enemy to trick you into attacking someone who’s on your side. hey, we fit turf battles in here!

[xnebulastarx]

Saw someone answer all of these in one post so i wanted to do it too :)

Day 1:

HW - 315 lbs

CW - 301 lbs

UGW - 120 lbs (long way to go :()

Height: 5’ 4

Day 2:

5’ 4 - yes i love my height because is means when I finally reach my UGW I will be tiny and small and petite :)

Day 3:

ALL OF THESE. I am obsessed with collarbones and a flat stomach, I also have a very alternative style and it would look way better if I was skinny.

Day 4:

My greatest fears about it are probably not being able to sustain it or gaining the weight back after hitting my ugw.

Day 5:

I really want to lose weight so that I feel pretty for once in my life. I’m doing it for me and I’m also doing it to feel better in my relationship.

Day 6:

I do binge, I’ve had a binge eating disorder since I was 8 years old (my grandma starved me, trauma trauma yada yada) but I’ve been able to control my binges better lately.

Day 7:

They don’t know and if they did they wouldn’t care.

Day 8:

Don’t have one right now lol

Day 9:

I’ve been called fat or “the big girl” my entire life

Day 10:

Pasta and bread and chips 😣 it’s what I used to binge on ALL THE TIME

Day 11:

I don’t have a fav but my favorite type of thinspo is alternative thinspo and relationship thinspo

Day 12:

Broth, hard boiled eggs, and if I eat other things I only do small portions and only eat half of the portion

Day 13:

Unhealthy lol

Day 14:

120 lbs :)

Day 15:

No but I have considered becoming vegetarian because I don’t enjoy meat very much

Day 16:

I’ve been wanting to lose weight since I was 17, I’m 22 now

Day 17:

I would say bulimia more than ana just because I don’t feel tiny enough to call myself Ana at all

Day 18:

Pasta, chips, bread

Day 19:

Last night

Day 20:

I don’t have a specific favorite diet but i personally love fasting

Day 21:

XXL - XXXL 😅

Day 22:

My lw (while eating disordered) was 260 (started at 315 and lost to 260 in 4 months). I gained it all back because of a healthy relationship and i just started eating a bunch again 🤦🏼‍♀️

Day 23:

Absolutely. Seeing the amount of beautiful women in the world and seeing relationships where the girl is so tiny and easily picked up and everything has been a hugely triggering thing for me.

Day 24:

I believe that pro-ana and pro-mia are not acceptable if you’re trying to influence someone else to be ED’d, like I’m pro-ana for my own self but would never push that on someone else if that makes sense.

Day 25:

I have and do quite frequently. My first successful purge was 3 years ago and ever since then I’ve been able to do it anytime successfully

Day 26:

Finally loving what my body looks like, not being seen as the fat girl, being able to fit into anything and being able to be carried and spun around by my husband.

Day 27:

I am very cautious around food and try to be very disciplined. To avoid binging i will sometimes allow myself a SMALL portion of what is around me so that I don’t binge on a ton of it later but I usually just try to not eat in general.

Day 28:

YES YES YES. It looks daintier, no more “chub rub”, no more replacing jeans because it rips in between my thighs. 1000% yes to a thigh gap please.

Day 29:

I believe that people can be beautiful at any size. However my definition of beauty for MYSELF is being skinny and dainty. To feel pure and feminine no matter what I’m wearing or how much makeup I have on because I’m skinny and beautiful is what I want more than anything in this world.

Day 30:

10 facts about me

1. I’m 22 years old but have had an ED since I was 8 years old

2. I have been married for a little over a year

3. I was raised Mormon and left the Mormon church about 3 years ago (thank god) and now am not religious

4. I love all things paranormal

5. I have a domesticated dingo, her name is Gidget :)

6. I have been a loner most of my life, the only friends I’ve ever had are my 2 younger brothers

7. I love getting piercings and am currently trying to map out and style my own ears :)

8. I shaved my head a year ago and am in the process of growing my hair back out

9. My dream pet is either a panther chameleon, a jumping spider, or a ball python

10. I love painting and drawing

[downtherabbitholewithauntieblegh]

I wanted to take a moment to address something regarding the In This Moment VIP Meet and Greet.

I went to their Orlando show on 11/13/24. As you know , I am a photographer and author. You should also know that I am disabled. I have PTSD and deal with social anxiety. If I am not mistaken, Rachel is In This Moment’s road manager. If that is incorrect, please feel free to correct me. Rachel, that woman, she does a lot! I sat there and watched her split all three VIP groups down into separate lines before the Meet and Greet. (by the way, this was a first for me as the Meet and Greet is done right before they go on stage!)

I would love to know the thought process where they came up with the idea to stick to their Meet and Greet right before their performance.  That is very unique in itself. Please remember I am just voicing my opinion on this entire process. You don’t have to like it or agree with me. We all have a right to voice our opinions, as long as it is done in a respectful manner. There were things I liked about it and there were things I did NOT like about.

I have been waiting about 15 years or so to meet In This Moment. I’ve been a fan since Beautiful Tragedy. A Star-Crossed Wasteland is actually my favorite ITM album. I was excited and nervous to meet them. Their music has been such a pivotal part of my life for 15 plus years. I’ve had to teach myself not to go in to any situation with any type of expectations. Especially with my anxiety, which does play a hand in my behavior.

Rachel did say before we proceeded forward that the photo would be taken with a Polaroid. I was hoping that this was not the case as a few days prior, a member of the community I run on Facebook had reached out to me, terribly upset due to his photo being taken with a Polaroid. My heart sunk, but I chose to rise above it and just go with the flow. I was able to give them a copy of my book, and Chris and Maria got photos I had taken of them the last time I saw them. They were all so, so kind. I did get emotional, but hell, 15 years….

It felt like Travis Johnson pierced my soul when he looked at me. And then Chris Howorth did the same thing. When I turned around so we could allow Joe Cotela to take our photo, Randy Weitzel gently placed his hand on my arm, and I felt like he did that to help calm me down a bit. When I say those emotions were real, they made my emotions feel very valid. In hindsight, the Polaroid is probably my hugest gripe about it. I am going to tell you why…..

Do Polaroids seem like a good idea? My opinion, only for nostalgia purposes. I know what it’s like to actually process photos in a dark room. I know you can easily ruin photos if you’re not careful. (Showing my age here.) AND YES, POLAROIDS FADE OVER TIME! You can accidentally expose polaroid photos and ruin them. Dampness, extreme temperatures, distortion, I could go on and on about why using a Polaroid camera for Meet and Greets is terrible a idea!

I absolutely mean no disrespect to Maria Brink, or In This Moment or Joe Cotela for that matter. My feelings are very valid on this topic, and I stand by my feelings. Will I ever forget that moment? Absolutely not! It was amazing standing in front of a band that means so much to me, who helped me during a dark time in my life and kept me from lying down and just wanting to die. The amount of beautiful energy I felt coming from all five members of In This Moment when I was standing there was very overwhelming, and I will cherish it forever.

Being on stage for Natural Born Sinner was amazing and overwhelming.  Travis was in front of us, and he turned around several times looking at us. I wondered, “where the hell is Howorth?” I finally realized he was behind us. When the song was over, they were trying to get us off in a timely manner and I was tripping over my robe. I about busted my ass in front of Howorth. He looked at me, “you, ok?”

“Yeah, I’m just short and the robe is too long,” I replied.

He smiled at me as I picked the robe up into my hands to step over the wires on the floor. Being disabled, I always worry about falling, and the House of Blues Orlando was amazing and made sure there was someone near me just in case. Brian and Shawn were amazing that night by helping me get through the crowd and staying near by backstage. It was much appreciated.

Overall, I would give my VIP Meet and Greet experience with In This Moment a B-. For me, taking a Polaroid photo as a part of an expensive VIP session is not fair to the person who purchased the VIP. We want quality and Polaroids just isn’t it. But my love for In This Moment will never waiver and will never deter me from seeing them when they come close enough for me to do so. Just maybe next time, offer a Polaroid and a photo with your phone. Or maybe have more than one photographer? We were told only the Polaroid would be taken. Some people on socials are saying that's not true, but I know what I heard and I'm hearing impaired!

[heavyasafeather]

2023

1. What did you do in 2023 that you’d never done before?

I don't know if this counts because it’s not like I’ve never played any videogames before, but since I’m not really a gamer, and the only real game that I’ve actually enjoyed to the point of obsession was Far Cry: Primal, playing Hogwarts Legacy definitely took over my life.

I also finally pierced my ears... and then tried to hide it from my dad for about 4 months.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I told myself to workout during lunch or take the stairs more, and I barely did that. I usually don't make resolutions, I don't even know why I tried.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

--

4. Did anyone close to you die?

--

5. What countries did you visit?

--

6. What would you like to have in 2024 that you lacked in 2023?

Joji.

7. What date from 2023 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

May 13th, 2023 - I saw Joji at the Forum.

June 24th, 2023 - I pierced my ears.

August 6th, 2023 - I bought tickets last minute to see Joji at Bleached Fest.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Realizing I don’t want to be stuck at my current job, then telling my boss that I was unhappy and that I wanted to go to school, and him being really supportive.

Going back to school.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Telling some people that I was quitting my job.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nope.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Any of the tickets to see Joji.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

?

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

If cancer was a person, I would murder that motherfucker. Also, I'm pretty sure my manager gaslighted me earlier this year.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Bills, school.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Joji at the Forum.

16. What song will always remind you of 2023?

The Cactus Blooms, "Mississippi" Hot Hot Heat, "Magnitude" Daneshevskaya, "Estuary Dig" Vaundry, "Odoriko" The Specials, "Gangsters"

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Sadder.

ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter.

iii. richer or poorer? I feel poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Skating.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Going to work.  Caring

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Christmas Eve: Literally binging The Last of Us. Christmas day: I went home, and didn't do shit for the rest of the day, except like play Hogwarts Legacy.

21. Did you fall in love in 2023?

With Special Agent Dale Cooper? Yeah, maybe.

22. How will you be spending New Years?

Probably binge watching some show with Adam. Yeah, he's got on Succession right now, but I'm not even paying attention.

23. How many one-night stands?

0.

24. What was your favourite TV program?

Orville! TWIN PEAKS!

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

If cancer was a person...

26. What was the best book you read?

--

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

...binaural beats?

28. What did you want and get?

To see Joji. I also got a Twin Peaks shirt for Christmas.

29. What did you want and not get?

To see Joji at the Crypto.com Arena in October.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?

The Whale. No Hard Feelings. Killers of the Flower Moon? I don't know. I can tell you what movies I hated: Incendies. or Brimstone. (No, they both were good - just what the fuck).

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 32. The day of: I went to work, but my coworker made me cake. And then I went to Korean BBQ with my parents. The Monday before, my Japanese teacher made me dinner and bought me a piece of cake and flan, and we just hung out; it was pretty sweet of her, and she also got me a kiiroitori stuffed animal.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably satisfying?

Being able to start school right when I was wanting to quit my job.

Having the balls to tell people to shut the fuck up.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2023?

Scrubs.

34. What kept you sane?

Nothing - I’m pretty sure this is the most I’ve ever had a panic/anxiety attack. Weekends watching Twin Peaks.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Seriously? ...also young Kyle Maclachlan was a new one.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

I just... don't.

37. Who did you miss?

I'm not sure if I did. There's one person I think about often, but then I get just mad because I doubt they give a shit (or ever did for how seemingly easy it was for them to just drop me).

38. Who was the best new person you met?

You know, she's not new - but my Japanese teacher has been amazing - she's basically become my new grandma.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2023:

--

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

And I move lightly in the dawn. Try to, gently ever on the lee. Though, I liked summer light on you. If we ride a winter-long wind. Though, time's not what I belong to, and I'm not the season I'm in.

[akrona]

Instead of thinking about like, the plot or anything of the novel I want to write I've been thinking about made up gender and sexuality norms

So here have some worldbuilding for Teyem

The people of Teyem recognize 4 genders: Man, Woman, and two others I haven’t given actual names to yet but that I’ve been calling “yes” and “no”. The differences between the latter two are subtle but obvious to people living in Teyem. The largest difference is that yesgender people (who use the pronouns they/them) typically modify their bodies’ secondary sex characteristics whereas nogender people (xe/xir/xem) typically don’t. The gender split among adults is about 40% man 40% woman 15% yesgender 5% nogender.

Gender is indicated principally through the presence or absence of earrings. An earring in the left lobe alone indicates woman, one in the right lobe alone indicates man, earrings in both ears indicates yesgender, and no earrings at all indicate nogender. Additional piercings in other parts of the ear don’t really mean anything, although it is unusual for men or women to get any piercings anywhere on the “wrong” ear. Gesturing at one’s own ears is shorthand for asking “what gender is that person?”

Prepubescent children are all considered to be nogender, and typically piece an ear or two and start identifying with one of the other genders at puberty. For this reason, there is a harmful stereotype that nogender people are immature or childish, and in fact many nogender adults have a “phase” in their teens where they identify as one of the other three to “prove” their maturity before finally realizing that nogender is what fits them best. Children between 13-18 are generally encouraged to try out different genders, but there’s a bit of stigma against adults changing their genders. 

There is still the association between men and penises and women and breasts/vulvas, and the majority of men and women are what we would consider cis, but trans people of all genders are recognized and accepted. There are some people who think all trans people “should” ID as yesgender but that’s a deeply controversial opinion and one that’s liable to get someone in big trouble for saying out loud. 

There are some people who identify outside of these four genders, or consider themselves fluid and ID as more than one thing, but those identities are not usually recognized by the culture at large and the average person would find this confusing. Similarly, using pronouns outside of the ones expected of your gender is mostly unheard of and would be a struggle for most people to understand.

Although Teyem is broadly speaking behind modern Earth scientifically by about a century, since transgender and nonbinary identities (although the term ‘nonbinary’ does not exist) have been around for centuries, the medical field has made significant strides in gender-affirming care.  Hormones are available OTC and top/bottom surgeries exist. The majority of yesgender people use hormones although it is by no means “required” in order to be considered to be their gender. 

Family Structure

Children are usually raised somewhat communally, both by extended family members and neighbors, although they will still have primary caregiver(s). It’s very common for kids to have their primary caregivers change, especially in their early years. If a new parent appears to be struggling they will be pressured to give the kid to another family member either temporarily or permanently, and “just” have another one when they’re more prepared. Adoptions are always open and the birth parents are expected to remain in some amount of contact with their children. 

Divorce is legal and considered fine, if a bit of a shame. If the divorced couple has younger children, they may be expected to give them up to a more stable home elsewhere in the family. There’s no such thing as “staying together for the kids” as it’s considered to be more harmful to children to expose them to constantly fighting parents. However, if the children are over three years old, it is expected that both parents will remain in the children’s lives even if they stop being the primary caregivers. 

Monogamy is the norm, although throuples are not unheard of and are generally accepted as fine if a little quirky. 

Orientation

Teyem doesn’t really have the concept of sexual orientation. Everyone is assumed to be pansexual, and the idea that gender could even be a significant factor in choosing a partner is a foreign one. This doesn’t mean that there aren’t gay or straight people, but there’s no word for gay or straight (or bi or pan etc).

Nobody keeps track of what genders other people choose to date, but expressing out loud a preference for one gender above another would be met with at best bemusement and at worst accusations of sexism. It’s taken about as seriously as someone saying “I only date blondes.” 

Since pansexuality is the norm, there is no stigma against same-gender couples. Couples which cannot produce children on their own typically adopt from family members or struggling young parents in the community, or will sometimes use surrogates. Surrogate parents are expected to stay in the lives of the children they help create, and it’s considered a real honor to be asked.

[blinktimes182]

0-44?

God damn, fair enough. Slapping this under a read more

0: Height - 6FT1

1: Virgin? - No

2: Shoe size - 12 UK (about a 12.5/13 in US mens)

3: Do you smoke? - Don't smoke cigarettes, do vape sometimes

4: Do you drink? - Yes

5: Do you take drugs? - Yes. Smoke weed semi regularly. Have been known to take a range of things when at a festival but don't really touch all that stuff outside of that environment.

6: Age you get mistaken for - Don't think anyone has mistaken my age before

7: Have tattoos? - Yea, Kylo Ren's lightsaber on one forearm and the blink-182 self titled album cover on the other

8: Want any tattoos? - Yeah a shitload

9: Got any piercings? - No, used to have my left ear expanded and my labret pierced

10: Want any piercings? - kinda want a side nose piercing and to re-stretch my ear

11: Best friend? - Weird one, don't think I have a 'best friend'. I've had them before but have since grown apart from most of them.

12: Relationship status - Single.

13: Biggest turn ons - Once I work that one out I'll let you know. Knee high socks and a nice set of lingerie on a person look good but wouldn't say it's a 'turn on'

14: Biggest turn offs - No idea tbh

15: Favorite movie - Scott Pilgrim vs the World

16: I’ll love you if - You're a gamer and are nice to me

17: Someone you miss - Honestly? My nana. So many situations I needed her wisdom for and nights I could have done with her shoulder to cry on.

18: Most traumatic experience - I nearly drowned when I was about 6 or 7

19: A fact about your personality - I'm awkward and shy until I've had a drink or have hung around you a few times.

20: What I hate most about myself - My inability to hold a conversation online without sounding like I'm interrogating you

21: What I love most about myself - How much I make myself laugh

22: What I want to be when I get older - Given I'm 29 there's not much older to go. Suppose career wise though I would like to get into the game industry at some point, but that ship is starting to sail

23: My relationship with my sibling(s) - I'm the oldest child of 6 and moved away from my hometown for Uni, so when it comes to my younger 3 sisters I don't have the kind of relationship I'd like to have with them. Me and my brother have a cool relationship. He's autistic and I love hearing him talk about his latest hyper fixation, how his YouTube channel is going and just about anything to do with games. My and the oldest of my younger sisters do have a close relationship though since we are only 5 years apart.

24: My relationship with my parent(s) - Great relationship with my mam and my dad (is my step-dad, but consider him my dad since he raised my since I was like 8). Go to them for any advice ever and to rant/moan/cry. Very very distant relationship with my biological dad. Never see him, talk like maybe once every 2 or 3 month on facebook. Kinda feel sorry for him though.

25: My idea of a perfect date - Minigolf (either drunk or normal), go for some food (Chinese, Japanese or Indian food preferably) and finally some drinks to finish it off

26: My biggest pet peeves - Slow walkers is probably my biggest one.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like - don't particularly 'like' anyone currently. Haven't been speaking to people with that kind of intention really.

28: A description of the person I dislike the most - Self centred, thinks they're always right and they know more than they do. Also thinks everyone loves then when that couldn't be further from the truth. No consideration for the feelings of the people they hurt. Also they can be very vindictive sometimes.

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend - So they aren't hurt (and a couple times to cover my own ass)

30: What I hate the most about work/school - Going to work. That's it.

31: What your last text message says - "Get the spurs shirt back on, the comeback is on now!! Haha"

32: What words upset me the most - "I've cheated on you"

33: What words make me feel the best about myself - "Thank you for helping/Listening"

34: What I find attractive in women - A nice smile, dimples, nice eyes, good haircut and a good sense of humour

35: What I find attractive in men - See above

36: Where I would like to live - 50/50 shot between Japan and the Netherlands

37: One of my insecurities - my smile

38: My childhood career choice - Wanted to be a scientist all the way up until I was like, 16/17

39: My favorite ice cream flavor - Mint choc chip

40: Who wish I could be - A well put together, successful person that has a family

41: Where I want to be right now - Not at work

42: The last thing I ate - Some grapes (people like grapes)

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately - Tom Hiddleston

44: A random fact about anything - Did you know that there is a species of jellyfish that is immortal? Known as the Turritopsis dohrnii, it has the ability to revert back to its juvenile polyp state after reaching adulthood, effectively allowing it to live forever.

[uwusenpaiuwu]

Sleepovers At The Baji Household feat. A Fed-Up Chifuyu

Summary: Chifuyu just wants to sleep, man, but Baji wants to be a jealous crackhead at 2 AM.

Pairing: Sano Manjiro | Mikey x Male Reader

Note(s): I had a little free time and wrote this. So, please enjoy! ALSO, to the anon that sent me a request a few days ago, I saw it and have it filed on my to-do list!!! I will definitely get to it as soon as I get a break in my schedule :)

"Chifuyu, ya wanna see some real discrimination?"

No. No, Chifuyu does not want to see what Baji means by 'real discrimination.'

Does he tell him that, though?

Yes, actually, because it's 2 in the fucking morning and, as much as he respects the other boy, he wouldn't put it past himself to smother him with a pillow after having his dream of cuddling with a sea of puppies suddenly destroyed.

Unfortunately for his sanity, Baji either doesn't hear him or, more likely than not, doesn't give a fuck, because he's already flopping onto his belly and whipping out his phone to do God knows what.

The dial tone that sounds from the speaker a few seconds later makes Chifuyu cringe, especially since it's only ever been a calm silence fit for a good night's sleep prior to Baji bulldozing through it with his absurd question. (At the very least, he's thankful that the latter has half a mind to keep the brightness on the lowest setting, otherwise, Chifuyu would have had to fight.)

On the far end of the row of carefully-laid futons, you shift in your sleep, eyebrows furrowing together at the noise. Rotating onto your side, you unconsciously reach for Baji, and just when he thinks you're being cute and trying to cuddle him, you smack him in the head.

Baji doesn't flinch, instead, takes his pillow and shoves it in your grasp to keep your unconscious self occupied, so that he can focus on getting through to the person who reuses to pick up (understandably so).

Releasing a frustrated groan after being redirected to voice mail for the fifth time, he dials the number again, muttering an impatient, "Pick up already."

Chifuyu feels sorry for the poor soul on the other end. He would've blocked someone following the first call, because again, it's-

The blond has to squint his eyes up at the digital clock on Baji's nightstand, which confirms that it's already 2:22 A.M, further solidifying the fact that he shouldn't be awake right now. And this also applies to the ever persistent first division captain, who insists on bothering who Chifuyu soon discovers is Mikey from the contact ID that flashes across the screen.

Why Baji is so keen on bothering him is a question he doesn't have the mental capacity to ponder over. The most energy he'll expend is to listen in when the call miraculously connects.

"What...?" comes a muffled voice from the receiver, tone laced in an irked grogginess birthed from a slumber rudely interrupted.

There's an absurdly loud, almost angry, roar of Mikey's name, one that has Chifuyu curling in on himself in a futile attempt to escape a sound that should be illegal at this hour.

But you know what else should be illegal?

The fucking whiplash Chifuyu gets when Baji's deep voice takes an abrupt 180°, switching from its normal gruffness to a squeaky, ear-piercing shrill as he screams, "I love you, love you, love you! Do you love me, too, Mikey-kyun~♡?!"

The room is dead silent.

Not a word. Not a murmur. Not a breath.

Just pure, unadulterated silence as both Chifuyu and Mikey process the words that hang in the air, permeating it with a goosebumps-inducing eeriness from having heard such a...a girly, overtly cutesy screech from Baji.

Then-

"What the fuck? He hung on me!"

Chifuyu opens his mouth, thinks better of reacting to the cursed scene he had the misfortune of bearing witness to, and promptly closes it.

Other people may have sleep paralysis demons.

But Chifuyu?

Chifuyu has Baji.

With both hands partially raised in prayer, he begs for the shenanigans to be over and done with.

They are not.

While his eyes remain closed in a last ditch effort to convince himself that it's all a bad dream, he hears a lot of grumbling happening on your side of the room, courtesy of Baji, who's scrambling around in search of...something. One quick peek reveals him fiddling with a phone - yours, to be exact, as evidenced by the distinctive phone charm of your favorite anime character hanging from it.

"(Y/n), wake up for a second," he hears him whisper. It takes a bit of prompting, until he's able to successfully rouse you enough from sleep to elicit any kind of response, which is, essentially, nothing short of an incoherent, slurred mess. Although, Chifuyu is pretty damn certain he heard you call Baji a 'dickhead' for the trouble.

Unperturbed, he continues shaking your limp form, coaxing you into wakefulness with, "Repeat what I tell you, and I'll let you go back to asleep. Deal?"

You squint your eyes at him, only able to make out a vague outline of his visage in the lightless room. "Promise?"

"Cross my heart, hope to die," he automatically responds with the same phrase he's become accustomed to saying whenever you two made a promise, something done purely out of habit, formed when the two of you were just kids and he wanted to get you to do something absolutely ridiculous either for him or with him. And just 'cause he knows you're more susceptible to complying if he does it, he also interlocks his pinky with yours.

"...Fine."

The approval is his cue to proceed, and it's as he's putting the phone on speaker that he turns back to a regretfully wide awake Chifuyu, mouthing a wordless, 'Watch.'

The phone rings, loud and clear, precisely once and only once.

"(Y/n), what's wrong?" It's important to note that even though Mikey still sounds tired as hell, his tone is much lighter, much happier really, than when it was Baji, which is an offense in itself to the said teen that's off to the side, attentively listening to the conversation unfold.

Then, it strikes Chifuyu, what Baji is trying to do, and fuck does it give him an instant headache.

Meanwhile, your mouth morphs into the dopiest of smiles with the pleasant surprise of hearing your boyfriend's voice, chest instantly overtaken by a warm fuzziness that never fails to make an appearance whenever he's involved. Sappy, you know, but it's true!

A light but firm nudge to your shoulder reminds you of your mission. It's too bad that, teetering along the edge of sleep as you are, the words Baji whispers are barely repeated correctly.

The initial phrase from before, the one Baji greeted Mikey with, is shortened to a simple, "You wuv I...?"

But, without missing a beat, you receive Mikey's confident reply of, "Mhm... I wuv you a lot."

There's a sleepy giggle then - a fucking giggle - before your voices drop to sweet whispers that the third and fourth wheels can't fully comprehend from where they are.

"Where the fuck was my 'I wuv you,' huh?!" Baji whisper-shouts, considerate of your conversation even when ranting and raving. "Shit, I would've taken a simple 'I love you,' too! I've known that bastard way longer than (Y/n), and this is what I get?!"

Okay. Toman's president answers his boyfriend's late night calls faster than he does anyone else's and openly expresses his love for him. So what? Chifuyu wouldn't exactly call it 'discrimination,' per se. 'Favoritism,' maybe if you wanna stretch it, but using as strong a word as discrimination, especially taking into account you two are dating; it's normal? Nah.

"You wanna say 'bye' to them? Mm. Baji and Chifuyu." A pause. "Fuyu, Mikey says 'bye.'"

"Bye, Mikey-kun."

The other person in the room waits, and waits, and waits, and when it's clear that there is no intention to address his presence whatsoever, Baji turns to Chifuyu with an almost scandalized expression, making wild gesticulations with his hands, clearly distressed. "See?!"

Blank blue eyes stare back at him, unblinking. Honestly, it's a common occurrence - Baji spiraling in a nonsensical rage - so it's easy for Chifuyu to block out the muted, jealousy-driven temper tantrum as he takes his pillow in both hands, raises it as high as he can, and-

Sigh.

-lets it flop right back onto his face.

He can't suffocate Baji. Shouldn't. Wouldn't. Couldn't. After all, they're best buds, meaning he has an obligation to put up with shit like this once in a while. (Plus, he'd probably get his ass kicked before he succeeds anyway. Totally not worth the beating.)

"Did you hear? Mikey said he wuvs me," he hears you drawl dreamily as soon as you hang up, sounding very close to clocking back out for the night.

"Yeah, yeah. Cute shit. Happy for ya, dude," Baji huffs. Thankfully, he sounds like he's in a similar state to yours, if the yawn that follows his sarcastic comment is anything to go by.

"...He soooo ignored you."

That warrants a punishing punch to the arm, dulled only slightly by the combination of the thick quilt you're swaddled in and the raven-haired boy's fatigue.

"I'll fucking throw you out right now, (Y/n). Don't test me."

"You won't."

"I will."

"Won't."

"Will."

The conversation gradually dies down shortly after, the exhaustion that took its sweet time getting to both of you having reached its peak with the help of the childish bickering. It takes 10 minutes, maybe 15, before two sets of light snores fill the room.

Finally.

Let it be known that there is a lesson to be learned from tonight's events. Really, there is. Y'know, something along the lines of 'Don't agree to a sleepover with Baji, if you plan on actually sleeping,' or whatever.

Alas, Chifuyu's consciousness fades before he realizes what it is.

~~~

"Mikey, be honest. Who do you love more? Me or-?"

"(Y/n)."

"But-"

(Y/n)."

"I-"

"(Y/n)."

Baji is only momentarily discouraged, sharp eyes glaring at the blond that lays his head on your lap after hi-fiving you. He didn't want to do this, but he's left with no choice.

"(Y/n) or Babu?"

From the way Mikey stiffens up, refusing to look at either him or you in the eyes, Baji knows he has him right where he wants him, has him torn between a cute face or a sweet ride.

"Oi! Don't pretend to be asleep! Answer the damn question! OI!"

(After hours of serious contemplation - even though you told him it doesn't particularly matter - it's revealed that, of course, Mikey loves you more. Babu just happens to trail behind as a very close second.)