#ironic that you can make the monster hunters the monster hunted w this build

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders Viewers' Choice #21: Deviljho

today on Grailfinders, we’re making more a grail eater. that’s right, it’s the Deviljho! one of these suckers can eat an entire ecosystem, so hopefully the grail can keep him full long enough to finish this build. he’s a Rune Knight Fighter to get to proper Deviljho size, as well as a Barbarian to put some extra power into his attacks. we have to make this guy able to beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker, so advantage on his strength checks really helps there.

check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

Ancestry & Background

in order to pick a race for our big lizard, we first have to ask ourselves; what the fuck is “dragon” elemental damage? in Monster Hunter, this appears as a cloud of nasty looking black energy that hangs around the Deviljho and weakens your offensive power, which would likely be either necrotic or poison damage in D&D. this means that depending on your view, either the spell Spirit Shroud or the invocation Cloak of Flies would be the perfect addition to a Deviljho, but unfortunately the rest of the build only leaves us with two levels free, and both of those options require five to work. thankfully, there is a second-best option we can pick up as easily as a feat, so we’ll be calling dragon energy Necrotic in this build.

Now that that’s settled, there’s two options for the race. a gem dragonborn is nice, especially if you want a really impressive breath weapon, but wotc’s already provided us with a lizard that bites its enemies, eats them, and even uses them as weaponry, and I’d be a fool not to go with the Lizardfolk with all they have going for them. specifically we’re going with the Volo’s Guide to Monster’s version since that’s the only one with Cunning Artisan, which allows you to turn a dead beast, contruct, dragon, monstrosity, or plant creature into one of various kinds of weapons.

you also gain a Swim Speed and the ability to Hold Breath for fifteen minutes at a time. you ended up in the New World somehow, right?

and of course, the reason we’re all here, your Bite attack. instead of the normal 1 damage per hit, you deal 1d6 piercing damage. on top of that, once per short rest you can use your Hungry Jaws to tear into somebody as a bonus action, dealing regular biting damage on a hit and giving yourself temporary HP equal to your constitution modifier.

you also have Hunter’s Lore, giving you proficiency with Nature and Stealth because a) you are natural, and b) you have that kaiju-tier stealth- nobody notices you until you’re already eating them.

and you have Natural Armor giving you a minimum of 13+your dex and you can use a shield if you want- that fat bastard the great jagras can really take hits for you.

my god is the lizardfolk statblock a doorstopper. don’t worry, this is all balanced out by the levels themselves going by super quick, not using spells saves so much time.

finally, your background. like all monsters you are an Outlander, mostly because you literally could not fit into society if you tried. also people keep killing you for parts, which makes holidays awkward.

that means you have proficiency with Athletics and Survival, the latter because you’re a giant monster, the former because you’re a giant monster that throws other giant monsters around like ragdolls.

Ability Scores

we’re going with point buy on this build. sorry, but if you want to play a mindless boss monster you have to be willing to minmax a bit. set Strength to 15, I feel I’ve made why apparent by now, but it’s how you bite stuff and how you lift up your enemies to break their friends backs like a socialist Bane. Dexterity and Constitution are set to 14 apiece- you’ve got the bulk of a mid- to end-game boss and despite that bulk you can move pretty damn fast. sure, you fall into pit traps and get poisoned frequently, but it’s usually never more than once a fight. Wisdom is down at 12. I’m sure a literal animal is well attuned to nature- especially once all that nature is digesting- but you’re also kind of just rampaging all over the place. and all that means we’re dumping Intelligence and Charisma down at 8. once again, you are literally an animal. if we could knock intelligence below three I’d do it in a heartbeat. also, not a conversationalist. wild, I know.

Class Levels

1. Fighter 1: as a first level fighter you have proficiency with Strength and Constitution saves, as well as Animal Handling (in the style of Nero) and Intimidation.

you also get a Fighting Style, and strange as it sounds, we’re picking up the Throwing style so you can pick up a lot more crap. with this, you can draw and throw a weapon at the same time, dealing extra damage in the process. I’m not entirely sure if picking up a cool rock you found qualifies as “drawing”, but it’s close enough to make an argument. if your DM isn’t cool with it, the unarmed style is a good option for tail attacks, and sorry you can’t throw people at people.

you also get a Second Wind to eat your own tail as a bonus action to restore health. it doesn’t make the tail grow back though, as funny as that would be.

2. Fighter 2: second level fighters can make an Action Surge once a day for an extra action to do as they please. mostly biting people. it’s almost definitely going to be used to bite people more, Deviljho are a menace.

3. Fighter 3: by level three all Deviljho have become so scarred they’re now Rune Knights, making them Rune Carvers of their own bodys. flavor-wise. mechanically you still need actual objects to put runes in. each rune comes with two powers- one is always active as long as you are wearing or holding the object; while the other requires you to choose to activate it, usually as a reaction, once per short rest. to start off, you can carve a Frost Rune, which passively gives you advantage on animal handling and intimidation checks, and actively gives you ten minutes of +2s to all strength and constitution checks and saves. meanwhile, the Stone Rune gives you darkvision and advantage on insight checks, and you can react to charm a creature that ends its turn near you for one minute if they fail a wisdom save. have you ever gotten trapped in a stun animation in Monster Hunter? those things take forever to finish.

you also gain some Giant Might, letting you spend a bonus action to grow large, gain advantage on strength checks and saves, and you deal extra damage with your attacks once a turn. you can grow this way proficiency times a day, and each use lasts a minute. you can now reach ten feet in length, while even the smallest Deviljho you can hunt is… 60’. we’re working on it, don’t worry.

4. Fighter 4: use your first ASI for more Strength. bite harder. this is my final message.

5. Fighter 5: fifth level fighters get an Extra Attack each attack action to combo your enemies into the ground. or more likely into a little cart driven by a bunch of cats. the cats are unionized though, you can’t eat them.

6. Fighter 6: sixth level fighters get another ASI, but this time we’re going to get funky with it. grab the Strike of the Giants feat- now, once per turn, proficiency times a day, you can turn any attack you make into a Hill Strike, adding an extra d6 of damage and forcing what you hit to make a strength save or fall prone. basically every attack you make can knock a hunter on their ass, this is just the tip of the iceberg.  hillberg. whatever.

7. Fighter 7: speaking of hill giants, at level seven you can make a Hill Rune, giving you advantage on saves against being poisoned and resistance to poison damage. you can also invoke the run to gain resistance to physical damage for one minute. Deviljhos aren’t actually that thick-skinned, this is more just a way to make your HP total look even bigger than it is.

8. Fighter 8: some people (especially those on the wrong end of an angry pickle) would probably call a Deviljho proof of a vengeful god, and I’d believe them. that’s why we’re using this ASI to make this Deviljho Divinely Favored. now you can cast Thaumaturgy as a cantrip to make your screams so loud people need HG earplugs to drown them out, and you can cast Augury and Hex once a day each.

augury’s whatever, but Hex is our breath weapon for this build. I know it’s not an Aoe attack, but it lets you deal extra damage over time like a rage mode, and besides that I usually play MH singleplayer anyway. don’t lie to me, we all know most MHs have weird online setups. that aside, when you Hex someone, they take extra necrotic damage every time you hit them, and they have disadvantage on one kind of check for up to an hour. on top of that, if you drop them to 0 HP you can move the hex over to another creature. that means you can also more easily pin and grapple someone while enraged, and once they’re carted away you can turn on their friends!

9. Fighter 9: ninth level fighters are Indomitable, letting you re-roll a failed save once per short rest. I’d make sure your concentration saves go well, you’re pretty good at them already, and dropping your one spell of the day would really suck. maybe that’s why they fall into pit traps so often, they’re just saving their rerolls for their rages…

10. Fighter 10: tenth level rune knights have a Great Stature, which makes you a little taller even while “normal” sized, and lets you deal even more damage with Giant’s Might. you can also carve a Storm Rune now, so you can’t be surprised and have advantage on arcana checks passively. Yes, Deviljho are quite practiced occultists. you’d know if you sat one down and asked it. and survived. you can also activate the run to enter a special state for one minute, allowing you to react to any check, attack, or save made nearby, giving it advantage or disadvantage. dragonblight weakens your offensive power in MH, and now you can do that in D&D too.

11. Barbarian 1: now that we have most of the deviljho kit down, let’s get a little wild. as a barbarian you can Rage whenever you’re not wearing heavy armor. you technically can as a fighter, but you’re supposed to be a giant lizard, so you shouldn’t be wearing any. while raging, you have advantage on strength checks and saves, deal bonus damage with strength-based melee attacks, and have resistance to physical damage. this lasts for a minute or until you stop fighting stuff, and you can’t concentrate on spells for the duration either. your runes only work once a short rest, so having a few rages to burn through each day can help keep your playstyle more consistent.

you also gain Unarmored Defense, which scales with constitution. right now, it’s the same as your usual lizardy skin, but that will change as we go. it’s a shame they changed your natural defense from the original flavor, a flat +3 on top of this would’ve been amazing for a Deviljho.

12. Barbarian 2: second level barbarians can make Reckless Attacks, gaining advantage on your melee attacks at the cost of giving your enemies advantage to hit you as well.

you also have a Danger Sense, giving you advantage on dexterity saves from things you can see. yes, you’ll still fall into pit traps, but when you’re angry enough you just kind of pop back out.

13. Fighter 11: another Extra Attack! the wombo combo is real. that’s three attacks per action, up to six with Action Surge, and possibly even a seventh with Hungry Jaws. with a turn like that, you could chew through anything.

14. Fighter 12: use this ASI to bump up your Constitution for more health and a better AC at long last.

15. Fighter 13: thirteenth level fighters are Indomitable again, so now you can re-roll two failed saves! it’s not complicated, but neither is a Deviljho.

16. Fighter 14: we’ve got enough flat buffs under our belt, let’s get real funky. nobody really knows where Deviljho come from, so technically making you a Scion of the Outer Planes isn’t the most out-there option for a wyvern we’ve seen so far. thanks to your connection to Chaos, you have resistance to Necrotic damage and access to the spell Minor Illusion. admittedly the spell isn’t that in-character, but you can use it to make your loud roars while raging or any other cool effects you want. this is mostly a stepping stone to our real goal. honestly, even the resistance to necrotic isn’t in character- you’re supposed to be weak to dragon elemental damage, and now you resist it. I guess this makes up for this build capping out at ¼ the size of even the smallest true Deviljho.

17. Fighter 15: at level fifteen you’re scarred enough to become a Master of Runes, letting you invoke your runes twice per short rest instead of once. you also get one last rune, and we’re running out of good ones. Cloud is the least egregious, you get advantage on sleight of hand and deception checks, and you can force another creature to take a hit you were supposed to as a reaction. longswords- not even once.

18. Fighter 16: with our final ASI, we get our true reason for the last feat- as a Cohort of Chaos you can finally even out your Strength score, and every time you roll a 1 or 20 on an attack or save you fire up a Chaotic Flare, which lasts until the end of your next turn. it’s like wild magic, but good! there’s four possibilities for a flare- either your Dragon Aura flares up and everyone within 10’ of you takes force damage when they move or start their turn in it, you can give a battle fury to a creature for advantage on their attack rolls and disadvantage on their checks, you can leap unbound to travel to any space within 30’ of you, or you can roar, giving all creatures within 60’ of you disadvantage on all wisdom saves for a round. you can even use this feature without waiting for luck proficiency times a day as a bonus action!

19. Fighter 17: the seventeenth level of fighter is simple, but powerful- an additional use of both Action Surge and Indomitable. being a Deviljho really is about the fundamentals. and also screaming so loud everyone goes deaf.

20. Fighter 18: at level 18 we get the reason we couldn’t dip into anything else- the final ability of your subclass, the Runic Juggernaut. now when you use Giant’s Might you deal 1d10 extra damage, and your size is bumped up to huge, and your reach increases by 5’! again, we’re still at 15’ to the real Deviljho’s 60’, but this is a good enough size to pick up the larger animals in a Monster Hunter world and start chucking them like footballs, even while they’re alive.

Pros & Cons:

Pros:

you can do a lot of damage in a short amount of time thanks to your multitude of bite attacks mixed with both the once per turn boosts of the Hill Strike/Giant Might, as well as consistent damage from either Hex or Rage. all in all, you can deal 1d10+8d6+28 piercing damage, plus 7d6 necrotic damage in a single turn for an average of around 86 damage, or even a little more depending on how big the creatures you fling around are.

you also take a lot of damage to bring down, with multiple forms of resistance to attack, a good health pool, and even ways to gain health by eating your own foes, all adds up to you being one tough pickle to crack.

your runes and chaos effects both give you access to magic-like effects that you can use even while raging, circumventing one of the biggest weaknesses barbarians have- restricted access to magical nonsense. with these you can teleport, stun people, and force disadvantage on their attacks, all without having to give up the damage and protection of rages.

Cons:

as far as damage goes, you mostly only have nonmagical sources. sure, you have Hex, but that only works once a day- if you have a second fight or drop concentration, you’re completely out of options, unless your DM rules hitting people with magic items counts for something. maybe that’s why you don’t qualify as an elder dragon.

Cohort of Chaos gives your build some much-needed variety, but it’s. y’know. chaotic. keeping the enemy from knowing your next move is a grand idea, but it would help if you knew what your next move was. still, at least you can use it yourself, unlike wild mages.

your wisdom saves aren’t great, and they aren’t helped by one of your own chaos effects making them weaker. that means it’s really easy for a smart enemy to trick you into attacking someone who’s on your side. hey, we fit turf battles in here!

[seventhstrife]

Know Your Enemy

💙💛SubScorp Week 2022 - Day 1- Vampire AU💙💛

Link on AO3~

RATING: Mature

PAIRINGS: Kuai Liang/Hanzo Hasashi

TAGS: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Enemies to Lovers, Vampire Hanzo Hasashi, Hunter Kuai Liang, Angst, hanzo's in this of course there's angst, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Kuai Liang

@subscorp-week

Chapter 1/?

When a hunt doesn't go as planned, Kuai Liang is forced to reconsider the definition of a monster.

Kuai Liang couldn't remember the last time he'd spent so long tracking during a hunt.

More often than not, finding his quarry was all too easy. Screams and blood, the ravenous sounds of a beast gorging itself on fresh meat—these things announced a vampire's presence gruesomely and violently, with the thoughtless carnage of a senseless animal.

But not this time.

His latest hunt had come straight from the Grandmaster himself.

You've never faced a vampire of this caliber, the Grandmaster had told him, dark eyes narrowed with shrewd assessment. Stronger and far craftier by our scout's reports. But completing this mission will save countless lives. Do not fail us, Kuai Liang.

Missions given directly from the Grandmaster were a class all their own, demanding a level of skill few in their order possessed; Kuai Liang had been honored by this assignment and was determined to achieve success.

Dressed subtly for combat in dark leathers, the blue insignia of his clan the only spot of color to be seen, Kuai Liang had arrived in this latest city that he assumed would be like any other he'd visited before.

He had expected the usual signs to tip him off and point him in the right direction, but there were none to be found. No reports of missing people spirited away in the dead of night. No surges in local healthcare facilities of people with vicious animal bites or records of blood packs disappearing from inventory.

Nothing seemed amiss and after three days of searching, Kuai Liang was tempted to doubt the presence of vampires here at all.

But, no; their scouts were too good for such a mistake, nor would the Grandmaster waste his time with hearsay or rumors. Had he not been warned this hunt would be different? These vampires, better hidden? No, the fault lied with him, that was all. He simply had to look harder.

On the fourth night, Kuai Liang changed his tactics; the obvious tells were clearly not going to help him find his quarry, so he took to the streets. He kept his eyes and ears open and studied his surroundings from the crowds, at packed, busy crosswalks and outside nightclubs, treading countless streets and subway platforms, eyes lingering on any shadowed alley or dark crevice he passed.

His mind could not help but wander during his silent, fruitless search. What manner of creatures were these that they could conceal themselves so well? Had they found some way to hide the signs of their thirst? And if so, how did they acquire the blood they needed without raising any sort of alarm? Had they found some bolthole that kept them hidden from the public eye? That was likely, but stranger still that it had managed to last so long when thirst and madness should have drawn attention to them.

It was well past midnight when Kuai Liang stood alone amongst a sea of strangers, the only still figure as countless people surged around him at a four-way intersection. Bright, garish neon lights glowed from the buildings, choking the light of the moon, and he felt annoyed that these vampires were making his hunt so difficult, were keeping him in this loud, stinking, overbearing city when he could be back among his clan. His narrowed eyes swept over the crowds, cataloging and dismissing dozens of faces by the second, and his frustration only mounted with each passing minute.

Show yourself, he willed. You can not hide forever.

Ironically, it was only when he finally admitted his impatience that he got the sign he wished for.

There was no scream or snarl, nothing so obvious as that, but all at once, Kuai Liang had the sharp, certain feeling he was being watched.

Startled, Kuai Liang stilled—and then he pushed himself past his surprise and fell into the flow of people and crossed the street, glancing around surreptitiously.

No one around, however, seemed to be paying him any mind, nor did he notice any obvious tail.

Strange...

He stepped onto the pavement of the sidewalk and paused, tense and trying to not appear so, waiting for the attack to his back or for a challenge to be issued, and his gaze wandered, narrowed, left, right, up...

Up, up, and there—a figure, dressed in dark clothes, crouched on the roof of a squat building, barely thirty yards from him across a side street.

Their eyes met, and even from a distance, Kuai Liang could see the expression of surprise, dark eyebrows flying high on a pale face, the unnatural stillness of the body perched on the very edge of the flat roof.

Kuai Liang saw the eyes reveal the vampire, the sudden unnatural white glow—one of the most significant tells of their kind, an involuntary one that only occurred in moments of sudden, strong emotion.

All of his annoyance, his impatience and uncertainty and weariness—all of it was banished the moment Kuai Liang clapped eyes on the vampire.

Finally.

The vampire stood—and ran.

Kuai Liang broke into a sprint right; it didn't matter that the vampire had a head start, or was quite the distance away. Kuai Liang had his prey in his sights. This hunt would be over tonight.

He scaled the nearest building in a few bounds and spotted the vampire easily, who took one look behind him and seemed to run faster.

You will not get away.

The chase took them away from the more densely populated areas, which suited Kuai Liang just fine. It gave him more room to maneuver without having to worry about civilians. And when he let loose a knife, embedding it into the wall the vampire was just reaching for as a hand-hold, the vampire's loud, sudden crash to the ground as he flinched and missed his reach wouldn't attract unwanted attention.

Kuai Liang pressed his advantage, pulling out another burst of speed so that he could jump into the alley the vampire had fallen into, jumping between the walls of the narrow passageway so that he landed just a few feet away from where the vampire was pushing himself up.

Up close, the vampire revealed himself to be a man of young age—relatively, by vampire's standards, at least. Mid-twenties, fit, dressed in dark, casual clothes. He had messy black hair and his eyes still glowed that pale, unnerving white as he stared at Kuai Liang.

He seemed anxious, almost scared, and it was the obvious display of emotions on his face that spoke of his youth more than his appearance.

"Um—" the vampire said.

Kuai Liang slipped a hand beneath his coat and slid a thick wooden stake out of his belt.

He attacked.

"Oh shit!"

The vampire dodged into a retreat, barely staying on his feet as Kuai Liang assaulted him relentlessly, knowing the moment would come soon when the vampire would stumble or falter and leave himself open. Kuai Liang only had to be patient.

They ended up in a small inlet where several alleys opened up into a rounded dead-end. It was a good bottleneck position, and Kuai Liang would have suspected a trap if not for how obvious it was this vampire could not focus on anything beyond Kuai Liang's next move.

When the vampire jumped back, taking advantage of the space of his surroundings, Kuai Liang turned the stake in his grip so that it faced upwards. Ice encased it from above his handhold so it formed a long sword while the rest of the stake acted as a hilt.

"Whoa—fuck!" The vampire leapt back again, clutching the long tear in his clothes that Kuai Liang had just ripped across his chest.

He hadn't even struck flesh. Dissatisfied, Kuai Liang attacked again.

That was around the time Kuai Liang finally noticed that the vampire was not fighting back. He'd only been defending from the moment Kuai Liang first struck out, even though his life was on the line.

It didn't make any sense.

Kuai Liang's brows furrowed, his lips pressing together in a tight line.

"Why aren't you fighting?" Kuai Liang demanded with a harsh swipe.

The vampire danced away from the blow, dropping low in a quick sweep of the leg in an attempt to unbalance him.

"I don't want to hurt you," the vampire said, his dark eyes open, and it was so strange, to hear those words from a mouth with fangs.

Surprised, Kuai Liang paused, and the vampire did as well, wary and tense.

Then Kuai Liang understood, and pity washed over him.

He acted quickly, distracting the vampire with a quick spray of ice shards. When the vampire threw himself back and caught himself with one palm flat to the ground, Kuai Liang was ready for him, slicking the ground so that the vampire fell and couldn't orient himself before Kuai Liang thrust a fist in the air; ice encased the vampire's feet and hands, trapping him.

"Fuck," the vampire said.

He was surprisingly lucid for a vampire, still thinking, which meant he couldn't have been turned for very long. It was always sadder, taking down the ones who still thought they could be normal, who hadn't realized exactly what they would become, and while Kuai Liang pitied them, it did not change reality, nor the lives this vampire would take when he lost control. Killing him now was a mercy in more ways than one.

The vampire struggled, pulling at his restraints without success. He stared up at Kuai Liang with wide, terribly young eyes when he stood just beside him.

From behind his back, Kuai Liang pulled another wooden stake from its sheath.

"I will make it quick," he promised, and then he struck, aiming for a deep, single impalement straight through the heart, quick and merciful.

But his stake had barely begun his descent when a force like a boulder slammed into his side in a jarring, brutal crash.

For a brief span of seconds, he lost all contact with the world, weightless, but when he hit the ground in a teeth-rattling slam he was quick to orient himself, to push himself up and braced, ready for an attack even before his brain had stopped colliding with the sides of his skull.

Kuai Liang raised his stake, expecting a follow-up attack while he was still disoriented—but there was none.

Instead, where there once laid one vampire, trapped against ice, now there were two.

The second vampire was older, evidenced only by the fine lines at his eyes, narrowed above a gold mask carved to resemble an oni with its fangs bared. He wore a hood and was covered head to toe in black, yet Kuai Liang recognized him for what he was instantly. There was no hiding that kind of strength, the speed with which he must have moved to strike before Kuai Liang could see or hear him coming.

The sight of two vampires had Kuai Liang getting to his feet quickly, gripping a stake in each hand, but he was largely ignored. Instead of pressing his advantage of surprise, the vampire placed his palms on the ice that bound the younger one at his legs and—melted it with a bright orange light growing from his skin. Flames crept out from between his fingers.

Pyromancer, Kuai Liang thought, equal parts unnerved and intrigued. He'd never met one before, and while the sight was fascinating, he didn't bask in the advantage a latent ability gave his opponent.

"Are you hurt?" the vampire was asking in a deep voice, reaching up to free bound hands, and then he gripped the younger vampire's front by a fistful of cloth and hauled him up like he weighed no more than a feather.

"N-no, I'm okay—"

"Good," the vampire said, and then he was flying at Kuai Liang, his fierce, piercing white glare illuminated by the flames that erupted up his arms and escaped through the teeth of his lacquered mask.

Kuai Liang blocked each attack in the sudden flurry with his arms, reinforcing each block with ice to protect him from the fire, coating his stakes with ice as well so they did not splinter and burn beneath the relentless heat.

This situation was less than ideal, especially given how remarkably sane these vampires were. Soon enough, the young one would join the fight, and then he would be outnumbered. Kuai Liang had faced worse odds, but he had to press every advantage. The sooner he took out this stronger, more powerful vampire, the better.

But that was easier said than done. The younger vampire had shown clear signs of being trained and well, but this one was clearly a master in his form and it took Kuai Liang longer than he wanted to admit to go from defending to actively attacking—this vampire struck just as fast, just as mercilessly as he had, barely leaving Kuai Liang enough time to track his next move, let alone strike true with his stake.

Only his ice seemed to give the vampire any significant pause, so he relied on that more and more, until weapons were ignored entirely in lieu of their bare hands, fire and ice sweeping across the ground and against the walls, bursting out in great surges as one element tried to overpower the another.

The vampire thrust a hand behind him and a great, concentrated fire converged there, a portent of tremendous power and Kuai Liang instinctively did the same, summoning as much ice as he could, thrusting it forward just as the vampire did the same—

The explosion rattled his ears, ice shattering against the pavement, fire singing concrete and billowing into the sky, and they were both forced apart until they crashed against opposite walls. If not for these alleys, keeping them together, they likely would have been sent much, much further.

Panting, Kuai Liang glared across the distance the explosion had driven them apart, body aching, bruises and cuts screaming for attention all over. He met a matching bruised glare from the vampire, whose hood had been blown back by their fight, revealing the long tail of his black hair, brushing the ground as he pushed himself upright as well.

He is a skilled fighter, Kuai Liang admitted. This was not someone he could simply overpower with brute force alone, and even though this person was the enemy, he felt the begrudging stirrings of respect.

Not that it mattered. Kuai Liang always completed his hunts. Always.

They both stood at the same time as if a silent bell had chimed, signaling the continuation of their fight. Kuai Liang let frost crawl up his arms and the vampire mirrored him with flame.

It was unbecoming, but excitement made Kuai Liang's heart race; it had been so long since he'd tested his abilities like this.

He was going to...enjoy this.

Or, he would have, presumably, if not for the sudden crack of sound that echoed in the air, the sharp whistle of wind before he found himself sudden bound in the blink of an eye, deceptively-thin black ropes winding around his torso at least a half-dozen times in the blink of an eye. They squeezed tight, pinning his arms to his sides.

A sharp tug brought him to his knees and he grunted, surprised, and heard a similar sound echo—a look up saw the elder vampire in much the same position, though his glare was aimed at his kin, not his bonds.

"Release me, Takeda!" he barked.

Takeda only frowned, pulling the ropes taut in response to their struggles, so tight Kuai Liang lost his breath.

"Stop fighting!" Takeda ordered, eyes stern on both of them. "Look, I'm fine, you're fine—no harm done, right? Killing each other isn't the answer here."

"You must be joking," Kuai Liang said at the same time the vampire said, "You can not be this naive."

The older vampire glared at Kuai Liang but Takeda was firm.

"We talked about this, remember?" A note of pleading crept into his voice as he spoke. "Please. Can't we just—go?"

Kuai Liang felt as if he were in some bizarre alternate reality—a feeling that was only cemented when the older vampire glared for a few more beats before he grunted in reluctant agreement with a nod, though he was quick to aim a look of immense distaste Kuai Liang's way.

"Should you try to harm him again, I will rip out your throat," the vampire promised.

Before Kuai Liang could respond, Takeda shook him loose, an incredibly strong yank tossing Kuai Liang free a few feet away.

The fall didn't even hurt and he rolled back onto his feet, the ice around his stakes growing to form axes, but he had to retreat further when Hanzo shot flame—not at him, but just before his feet, etching a long dividing line of towering flame where Kuai Liang could just barely make out their silhouettes through the flickering light.

Swiftly, Kuai Liang stowed his weapons behind his back. With a deep breath, he brought his palms close, just shy of touching, and concentrated his ice into a contained maelstrom. One breath, two, and then he thrust his hands out, extinguishing the flames in an extensive spray of ice, so sudden that snow formed in the air and swept out like fog.

It had taken scant seconds to clear this flaming obstacle, but it was time enough.

The vampires were gone.

[keeponshouting]

After Infection

This is a rewrite and hopefully eventual completion of a massive multiverse mash-up of my OCs with a couple belonging to @whenromancesmoked and a few others from back in the day. I have absolutely no idea if anyone else is going to be interested in reading this (ok, I know a few people who will probably read it) but psh. I’m having fun and want to share.

Note: This is also a George Romero tribute of sorts. Like I started it for giggles because my PB for one of the characters was in the Dawn of the Dead remake and it just snowballed, which I guess means I should throw a WARNING: ZOMBIES sign up here or something. Anyway!

After Infection: Dawn of the Dead

It had seemed like a good idea at the time – or, well, more accurately, it had seemed like the right thing to do. There was a request from fellow hunters in a small town a few hours’ drive south and things had been quiet lately back home so Nate had figured that they could spare the time and energy. Besides, Dennis had been going pretty stir crazy for a while. Even if it was a hunt, it would be a good excuse to get out on the road for a while, a sort of vacation.

It had not turned out even remotely like a vacation.

They had been a little too late to the original party but apparently just in time for things to get much, much worse. Nate had brought a variety of tools just in case but he had primarily been prepared for an infestation of what locals called “hell rats,” a creature that was pretty common in the south and usually pretty easy to handle if you found their nests quickly enough. Sure they were venomous but as long as you were careful… He had not been expecting an infestation of zombies.

“The lot looks pretty clear right now.” Dennis is hunched over at the door, using the peephole to take a quick survey of the goings on outside their hotel room while Nate brews a second pot of coffee to get him through whatever the morning brings. After all, as long as decent coffee is available, he might as well take advantage of it. Lord knows he might have to go without for a while and God help his poor boyfriend’s patience if that happens.

When Dennis stands up straight again, his head is just about even with the top of the doorframe and he yawns as he leans back against the door, arms crossed over his chest. “So, come up with any plans yet or are we still waiting for the caffeine to kick in?”

Nate snorts into his cup and foregoes actually taking a drink for the moment in order to respond. “You ask that like I have any idea what sort of plan to use here. I’ve met exactly zero hunters who’ve actually had to handle zombies in the past decade at least. I honestly don’t think they’ve ever been a problem this far north before.”

“Well, there sure are a lot around here for something that’s never been a problem.”

“Some forms of infection can spread at an exponential rate in populated areas.” He drains a good half of the coffee in hand. “Our best bet is probably just to find out if there are any other non-infected people anywhere around here.”

Dennis flops across the bed, face down, with a muffled grunt.

Nate just silently continues drinking as the percolator finally finishes beside him and he very seriously considers making a third pot, just in case.

---

Zombies – shambling, groaning, flesh-eating, nearly Hollywood perfect zombies. For fuck’s sake. This should have been such an easy fucking job and now there are zombies.

Viktor strings together another line of curses, voice little more than a low growl, as he chambers another cartridge. Beside him, a terrified little girl whimpers. He simply scowls, sets Glock number one aside, lights a cigarette, and pulls out number two. “Zatraceně zasraný vědci.” Leaning over toward the window, he catches sight of a proper target and empties the last bullet into the back of its skull. What a fucking cliché.

This was supposed to be simple. They had agreed on that fact the moment that the specifications of the job had crossed the table. It should have been routine, easy money. Three towns, three targets, each plan the same; get rid of the scientist, call their employer, and let the clean-up crew come in and deal with the rest. The first two hits had gone off without a hitch. So, of course, it just figures that last one would have to be so much more complicated than it should have been.

“I—I—I w-want m-m-my d-da—daddy.”

Viktor’s jaw clenches as he exhales – slow and even, two thin streams of smoke – as he reloads the gun in hand and wills himself to remain calm. His patience is wearing thin at this point, though. He had not planned for going into this as usual and coming out as a babysitter. The target’s five-year-old daughter was not supposed to be in the house at the time of the hit. She only stayed with him on the weekends. What an absolutely brilliant turn of events that this was apparently the first Monday that she had ever spent with her father.

Dropping his half-smoked cigarette on the floor, he shoves himself up to his feet. He had lost contact with Miguel some time earlier, likely as a result of the scientist’s neighbor backing into an electric pole at full speed after one of the zombies had rushed her car. The impact had cut power to the entire neighborhood and he can only assume that it must be the cause of the interference. With long-range communication down, that leaves only one alternative: he needs to get within the functional range of their radios. Unfortunately, the hit had been planned for the late evening and he had only been able to make it as far as a vacant apartment building a couple blocks away before night had started to set. From here, short-wave does him about as much good as a water pistol.

“Come on.” Viktor has already reached the door and taken quick stock of the corridor beyond by the time he bothers to look back. Unsurprisingly, his unwanted charge remains unmoved, still curled up as small as she can possibly make herself, which is pretty damned small.

“A-are you g-g-gonna take me b-back to da-daddy?”

God give him strength but that stuttering is getting real old real quick. “Ne.” He swings the door open as quietly as possible and waits for a moment, listening for any movement outside, before carefully stepping out and making his way to the stairwell. With the knowledge that their escape route is currently free of hostiles, he takes a deep, centering breath and heads back to where he began.

“Look, holčička.” He crouches down in front of the child and tries to sound as reasonable as possible. Given his current level of frustration, he thinks that he is doing a fairly decent job. Miguel, however, would likely disagree. “Either you just come with me and go wherever I go, quietly and without complaint, or I leave you here. Your choice.” Yeah, Miguel would definitely disagree.

From the way that the little girl’s eyes go so much wider than he would have ever imagined possible, he feels safe in assuming that she disagrees as well and, five minutes later, they are creeping down an alleyway with more stealth than Viktor ever would have expected of a kindergartener.

---

What was taking so long?

That is the question that had led Alex out of the band’s bus and that was the question that he now wants to keep from crossing anyone else’s minds. This is all way too fucked up, like the should not be real kind of fucked up. None of this should be happening.

On the ground, backed up against the flat tire of the car that their driver had originally gone to help, Alex kicks hard into the jaw of what may have once been a perfectly lovely young woman and sends her sprawling backward where she lands on top of the monster still gnawing on the corpse of a man who should have still been living and breathing and driving their goddamn bus. Alex’s hand gropes around behind him for anything even remotely useful as a weapon and lands on the tire-iron just in time to smash it into the face of the dead woman once more lunging in his direction. Another strike as she tries to get up and he cringes and almost loses his lunch at the feeling of her skull cracking open and her brain splattering across the pavement. Hell, he really might have lost it if not for the howl coming at him far too fast. This time, he opts not to look as the hears the wet crunch and just leaps to his feet and starts running back toward relative safety.

“Alex?”

Oh fuck. “Stay on the bus, Val!”

“Don’t you fucking tell me what to do, Niccols! What the fuck is going—”

Alex fails to hear the rest as he spins around to slam the tire-iron as hard as he can into something else behind him. This time it gets yanked right out of his hand as the body drops and he scrambles back onto the bus, practically picking up a protesting Val in order to get her out of the way of the door that he immediately slams closed. He lets her go as he collapses into the driver’s seat, wide-eyed and hands shaking, and it takes him a moment to register the sound of his dog whimpering by his knee, let alone that of his own name. When the world comes back into focus, though, Val is staring at him in horror. It takes him another moment to realize why.

“Alex? What the fuck happened?” Whether she sounds more panicked or angry, Alex is far too dazed to tell. Her hands reach for his face, his shoulders, moving down to check every inch. “Are you okay?”

Taking a deep breath, he raises a hand to wipe at his face. No. No he is not okay. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

Val does not look like she believes him at all. “Is that—Fuck. That—That’s blood! Why the fuck are you covered in blood?”

Breathe, Alex. Always a good plan to breathe. “Shh. Don’t…” Never mind. Telling her to keep it quiet is pointless. Everybody else will have heard it already.

He shoves himself back to his feet, legs weak and wobbly, and stumbles as he makes his way through the curtain that separates the cabin from the rest of the bus. It is instantly evident that the rest of the band did, in fact, hear all of that. All three of them are already staring at him before he even properly steps into view. He is pretty sure that Sasha is the one choke out an “on shit” and it is definitely Macy whose response comes out as barely a squeak.

“Blood?” On his feet now, Macy rushes in to cling to Alex’s shirt, bodily fluids not withstanding. “None of it’s yours, right? You’re not hurt? You’re okay?”

Again, Alex reminds himself to breathe, turning just enough so that he can see where Val still stands in the doorway, Parker lying on the floor a foot or so behind her, his ears back and expression scared. For her part, Val is gripping the doorway so tightly that Alex can only assume that she is trying very hard not move and crowd him any further.

“None of it’s mine.” He looks at the faces around him, all of them staring, all confused and various degrees of frightened. It brings everything right back into focus. “We need to—” It takes a deep breath in and a slow breath out to get his thoughts back in line. “Everybody grab a bag, pack food, necessities, just—just whatever.” Stepping a little closer to Val, just near enough to pull one of her hands down from the wall and give it a quick squeeze. “We gotta get outta here.”

---

Nate leans out of the passenger side window just far enough to level his sights on one of the creatures that already looks less human and fires. One shot, between the eyes, and it hits the ground and disappears beneath the feet of its companions. He hears a quiet gagging sound come from the driver’s seat and finds himself feeling a bit queasy in turn. They are both going to need to make some real changes to their perspective re: what constitutes a monster and they need to make those changes really quickly because as of right now, it is going to be really difficult to get out of this mess without completely rewiring their conscience.

“Um, Nate?”

With barely a glance spared toward Dennis, Nate focuses himself on reloading. “Yeah?”

“How many, uh—how many of them are back there?”

The question gives him pause but Nate squints to get a count anyway. “About a dozen in view. Why?”

“Because we need to, uh—we have to stop for a minute.”

Nate drops back into his seat so quickly that he nearly smacks his head off the door. “We what?”

Not even bothering to look at him, Dennis simply peels one shaking hand off of the steering wheel to point at something ahead. “We have to stop.”

Nate has to squint but he starts moving the moment that he sees exactly what Dennis is looking at. “I’ve got the door.”

It was rather obvious even from a single glance at a decent distance that the man up ahead, standing stock still in his torn slacks and a blood, rolled shirt-sleeves, was staring straight past the car speeding toward him and cursing the sight of the ever-growing number of zombies trailing behind. Dennis hits the gas and is slamming the breaks in what feels like no time.

Nate shoves the back door open and feels like there is really no room for argument when he shouts to the man to get in but he has been wrong before and apparently he is right now. Instead of heading straight for them, the guy curses in a language that they are now close enough for Nate to tell is definitely not English and turns away.

“Hey!” Dennis spins in his seat to look behind them, which Nate is sure that he immediately regrets. “What the hell? What’s he doing?”

“I don’t know. He’s just—” And that is when the stranger pulls his gun, takes out three approaching zombies in relatively rapid succession, and finally turns to sprint back toward the car. “—getting a little girl.”

The child is practically flung into the back seat and their new passenger wastes no time slamming the door behind himself and snapping, “Go. Now.”

Dennis really does not need to be told and floors it the second he knows the door is closed.

“Take a left onto Carver,” the man continues, his tone speaking volumes regarding how unwilling he would be to hear any question or protest. “Follow signs for the mall plaza.” He leans out the window to pick off a few more of the monsters before Nate’s slightly incredulous look catches his attention and his scowl is honestly pretty terrifying. “You’ll be out of gas before the edge of town so, under the assumption that you wish to live—”

Nate’s eyes narrow in suspicion but Dennis has absolutely no qualms against following the orders of anyone with a plan right now and practically takes the aforementioned turn on two wheels when he nearly misses it.

---

“Are you sure you can hotwire this piece of shit?”

“It’s not a piece of shit, it’s a fucking classic.”

Val rolls her eyes at that as she continues trying to calm the utterly panicked Macy currently clinging to her so tightly that he might as well just climb into her goddamn skin. “Fine. Can you really hotwire this ‘fucking classic’?”

Two seconds later, the engine revs up as Alex sits back in the driver’s seat with a trin and a waggle of his stupid eyebrows. Sasha squeals in relief and flings her arms around him from her place in the back seat, as he laughs. “My mechanical genius is wasted on this red wire green wire bullshit.”

He pops the trunk just as something begins to stir inside of the nearby diner and Val shoves Sasha aside to squeeze Macy in so that she can help Nico load their bags at record speed. By the time she flings herself into the front passenger seat, there are already zombies starting to stumble out of the woodwork. Fuck seatbelts. “Gun it!”

Alex hits the gas and they peel out of the parking lot just as the diner’s doors give way.

He had tried to explain what had happened while they packed. It had felt impossible for Val to actually wrap her mind around it at first but once she had seen the mess outside? She had practically dragged Alex and Macy off in search of the nearest source of potential transportation. They needed to find something quickly and it needed to be something fast and she needed to not think about how painfully familiar the blood and gore looked, though she had only ever seen anything like it in her nightmares. When Alex had needed to stop and vomit into the nearest garbage can, she had a feeling that she understood why and a little pocket of rage flared to life in her chest – not because he had to stop but because he never should have been the one to wind up with someone else’s blood on his hands.

“Where are we going?” Macy is the one to finally ask, almost inaudible from where he has curled up against Sasha now, and Val catches his eye in the rearview mirror before she looks toward Alex.

Alex, however, is entirely too focused on driving to really think but so much and instead catches her eye before clearing his throat. “Nick?”

In the back, Nico turns away from the horrors outside of his window. “What?”

“How do you defend yourself against a zombie invasion?”

“Wha—Zombies aren’t exactly my specialty here.”

“No,” Alex agrees, “but zombies are supposed to be a helluva lot dumber than, say, Reavers, right? You know Reavers.”

“So?”

“So how would you defend yourself against an invasion of retarded Reavers?”

The drummer just stares at him for a moment with an expression that plainly says that he may consider that to be the dumbest question that he has ever heard. Eventually, thought, there is an answer. “I’d find the most well-stocked, easily-fortifiable location I could think of and hope I could wait out the attack or find some other way to get through them.”

There is silence in the car and then Alex shrugs. “All right. So, where’s the most well-stocked and easily-fortifiable location we can think of?

Five minutes later, they find themselves screeching into the parking lot of the local mall. The location almost seems somehow normal, given the situation at hand. In fact, were it not for the shrieking horde behind them or the knowledge that Alex is currently doing seventy into a public lot, it might almost feel a little reminiscent of home. Val almost finds it funny, really. What’s funnier to her than coming to a mall for safety, however, is the fact that they were obviously not the only ones with that idea, as they are definitely not the only ones pulling into the place with a bunch of undead goons straggling along behind them.

---

“Miguel.”

There is a burst of static in his ear as Viktor leans out to empty his 22 into the crowd of creatures still chasing behind the car that had picked him up on the highway. Once within range, he takes out a couple of the ones latching on to the other car that had pulled in to the lot at about the same time, too. When his magazine clicks empty, he makes a snap decision to save his 20 for later and drops back into the seat to reload. The driver glances at him in the rearview, looking a little bit frightened, while the original passenger only eyes him for a moment before leaning out of the other side with a freshly loaded shotgun. His fellow gunner might not be terribly trusting but at least Viktor can respect that. Besides, who needs trust? The guy’s a fairly good shot.

“Zatratím tě, Miguel!” The little girl still curled up beside him whimpers. He can hear it over the gunfire, the static, all of the goddamned zombies. It is grating on his very last nerve. “Odpovídáš mě!”

He could hope for no better response than to lean back out just in time to watch as a line of four hostiles drops one by one.

“En ingles, ’mano.” Another line of undead hit the ground as the line sputters out then clears up again, leaving room for easily the most welcome voice he has ever known. “Now where the Hell have you been?”

Viktor nearly laughs. “We can trade stories later, miláčku. Right now, I need cover fire while I try to get these people into the posraný mall.”

“Going shopping?”

“Sklapni. We try the mall or they come to your shop.”

“How many?”

Viktor glances toward the other vehicle still circling around the parking lot with them. “Eight plus me.”

“Well, if they dropped you—”

“Miguel.”

“Sí, sí, the mall sounds like a plan. There’s a garage off to your right. No good angle for me to shoot the lock off but I can keep the number of uglies down while you get in.”

“Děkuji.”

“That means thank you, sí?”

Viktor rolls his eyes. “Sí.”

The line bursts back into static with a laugh.

---

As it turns out, the garage door does not, in fact, require a shot to the lock. It rolls up just enough for the two cars to through before Dennis’s little hatchback even hits the ramp. On the other side, a young woman motions for them to hurry while two men in security uniforms stand to either side of the entrance to help keep the monsters at bay, though it appears that this Miguel guy really only needs the most basic of assistance. His precision is honestly kind of terrifying and Dennis is just as glad not to see any more examples of it as he swerves off to one side so that the other car has room. Nate and their scarier passenger are both out before he even has the damned thing in park, seeing to it that nothing gets in the way of girl at the door to slam the thing shut.

“We saw you on the security cameras,” of the security guards explains as he climbs up to try and jam the gears.

The other car’s driver takes a moment to collect himself, then grabs a wrench and makes his way over to the ladder. “Here. Let me have a look at that.”

“Figured we couldn’t just leave you out there.” The guard climbs down to let the driver up. “Then Shannon said she thought you were headed this way.”

“Thanks.” Dennis finally climbs out only to stretch over the top of his car.

The woman now known as Shannon simply smiles. “No problem. Mercy for your fellow man or something like that.” She laughs and shrugs, looking slightly flustered, though that is probably to be expected, all things considered. “Anyway, come on. Let’s get you all inside. We’ve got food, clothes, relatively comfortable furniture… We’ll get you poor things all cleaned up and sorted out in no time.”

There is a general rumble of agreement as the little group follows her to the door that leads into the connected store, allowing themselves to be ushered toward where another girl is waiting somewhat impatiently. That is, they all follow along aside from one man, anyway, who simply mutters something into his headset before switching it off and making his way back over to the hatchback. Shannon looks back, confused, as does Nate, though he looks more suspicious about it.

Dennis just sighs. “The little girl.” Then he ducks through the doorway and drags Nate away after the rest.

---

“Come on, holčička.” Viktor crouches down beside the open car door with a sigh as the child remains curled up in the center of the back seat. Children. How did anyone actually deal with children, let alone have them by choice?

The little girl simply whimpers and mumbles, “There are monsters out there.”

Well, at least the stuttering has stopped and he supposes he can concede that she has a fair point. “The monsters are outside, not with us.”

Before he can receive a response or think of anything more convincing to say, there is someone else coming up behind him, bending down to look the child in the eye with a painfully sympathetic and all too sugarcoated smile. He might be able to handle the sight of it at any other time but right now, with everything that he has just been through and the way that she has the gall to place one of her hands on his shoulder as if—God, he would really like to wipe that smile off of her face.

“Hi, there,” she says, voice floating in a way that speaks plainly of a familiarity with appeasing people under the age of seven. “I’m Shannon. What’s your name?”

Caught slightly off-guard, the child squeaks. “Um. I—I’m—” The little girl shoots a quick glance toward Viktor then, almost as if asking permission to speak with this new stranger before she finally answers. “I’m Amanda.”

Shannon’s smile becomes even brighter, even sweeter, if that is even possible, and Viktor has to dig his nails into his palms to keep himself from taking out her kneecaps when she leans even further over him, hand squeezing his shoulder. “Amanda? Well, that’s a pretty name! Are you hungry, Amanda?”

The little girl nods.

“Well, we’ve got all sorts of food inside. We’ve got toys, too, and games and books and all sorts of neat stuff.”

“And—and no monsters?”

Shannon laughs. “And no monsters.”

Still curled up in the seat, Amanda chews worriedly at her lip for a moment longer, eyes flashing back and forth between the two adults still there in the door. Shannon keeps smiling, encouraging. Viktor just stays crouched there with a clenched jaw and a headache starting to build behind his eyes. When the girl finally moves, though, it does not go entirely as expected. Rather than reaching for Shannon’s offered hand, she instead launches herself forward to wrap her little arms tight around Viktor’s neck and duck her head in under his chin, completely unaware of the rather undignified look of surprise that he is entirely unable to keep off of his face. Unhelpfully, all Shannon does in response is giggle.