#gettinf used to these meds in the first place was so hard. i cant do it again
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#personal#warning: suiciceeand selfharmn talk in this rant#i think these meds are making me feel worse and i dont know what to do about it#gettinf used to these meds in the first place was so hard. i cant do it again#and like. i dont know.#iwant ro kill myself so bad and the only reason i can find is “maybe it will make someone sad”#but even that uts like. thats not a reason for me#theres no benefits for Me staying alive#like holy shit sometimes i forget i am So suicidal and then i have a night like this#usually these thougjs come late at night which is whyni started going to bed earlier#but things are changing and its 7:09 and im dealing with these thoughts Now#like Wow i guess injust deal with these thoughts forever no matter what. cool...#and i domt know. feeling the scars rub up against my sleeve makes me feel so bad#like theyre healing super fast but its still not enough#i think the worst part is the relief i always have after. i feel ao bad but thus tike especiallu i was jusy like#i cant believe people are reying to stop me from doing rhis... its so good for me#but like the blood soaked towel is doing nothing to help anyone#idk. i dont kmow what to do to feel better anymore#💭
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