#gets a girl to hang out w but it isnt romantic like it seems so spends the other seasons just chillin w the gang

[post-modern-prometheus]

kyle valenti is the steve harrington of roswell

[misterbitches]

what i like abt muren and li chen

i’m sorta burned out and my vagina is bleeding so lemme see if i can type this. probably can lmao. my brain is going ten miles a minute.

1. the fact that they were friends first.

 someone on here said this and idk who but i don’t want to seem like it was my idea. 

the fact that they are friends and didn’t have like a connection previously and it developed. most times friends-to-lovers has a basis of some sort of romantic interest from another person so they were not truly ever friends, you know? and many relationships people aren’t friends first but that’s the best kind. and they are the truest form in that (i wouldnt say truest means good but just i think a representation of) they were truly friends, no attraction at least consciously, and were lead into it. 

2. bc they know each other well and are friends they know each other and LAUGH and if you can’t laugh with your love then there is no point. 0. lmao. i love it

idk they fell easily in2 the luvy duvy part and u can actually believe they are into each other like outside of kissing. gee. also hello! when lichen like threw the heart in the office and muren caught it? bitch! i woulda been like ew!!!!! and blushed but muren was like that’s right that’s my bitch

3. bouncing off 2 um uhhhhh the way they interact so i guess this is 2 but whatver i like lists now

muren is >:O but super sweet and receptive to others. so he responds to people and it isn’t just stoic for stoic sake or with not much substance. idk how to say this but oftentimes sometimes i feel like characters will be too oppositional to offset their partner and it can be extremely annoying to watch because it’s part of the dynamic but sometimes there’s a lack of reciprocation. i like that even if muren is quiet he smiles a lot and lets people know through his actions and shit. esp his mans. and when he needs to talk, he will. 

lichen is perfect for this because of reasons. what do you even say about this dude holy shit. first of all he really is a fucking himbo. he’s not even dumb he’s just a fucking himbo. it’s great to say the way they express their excitement and the best thing to hear, “i can be myself around you”

4. u cannnot tell me that this top/bottom discourse is actually not ridiculous esp for them bc there is no way that my eyes are seeing what i see yet there’s some struggle when they’re trying to constantly grapple with the masculine/feminine aspects (this is a good thing)

with the way that they hang off each other. esp bc lichen is shorter than him and stockier and he can attach himself like a barnacle. the way he expresses glee and love is very “feminine” at times IE reliance, support, putting your head on his etc but then there are times when he is the one to hold muren too. so it’s like they are clearly on the same  level in how they exchange love and stuff and exploring the dynamics but it clearly isnt as structured as the usual ones and it shouldnt be so they should just stop talking about this shit cos ur both getting fucked god shut up

lichen squeals like a girl and is obsessed with him. he is clingy and also says “what do you want to do to me.” if this show is gonna sit us through the agony of this stupid discourse and they tell me they arent gonna sw*tch or whatever (not that they cant have other forms of sex bc that is not that difficultand as adults w eknow this but anywaaay) then they simply are wrong

5. the ~gay 4 u~ thing is dumb and i cannot believe it tbqh cos it’s like sir....but i am glad that lichen like expresses attraction to his physique and personhood as a man and acknowledging that that is something and a part of the attraction.

 it was probably a happy accident but it’s still a good one. there’s sometimes an idea of like sexual attraction being sorta nebulous when someone is like getting into a rship with the same gender but not being sure about their sexuality or whatever or still liking another gender explicitly where they cant admit they find things attractive or enticing even when they are in a same sex relationship and it is so fucking confusing and doesn’t make sense. i wish instead of trying to make it cut and dry they just went honestly mabye they dont know but theyre both men and thats a factor. ok lets move on now. :) 

6. they make u feel nice

especially in comparison to the show being messy and also there’s some crazy stalker man running around you know they temper that 

they’re just really fun to watch. it’s an interesting dynamic and particularly with xing si in their lives it’s nice and i’m so glad there’s no one else to ruin it like say a brother who is a waste of space. but it’s mostly good feelings for them and you can see why they like each other, that they can stay together, and how helpful a relationship can be as you grow as an individual

7. while i am sure there will be further misunderstandings...comm...unic...ation?

literally boys are dumb as hell but idk if my reading is correct on this one but SO FAR TO MOI im like wow u guys like actually talk. woah. and i think that’s nice. yest i had a breakdown in front of my fam bc i am sometimes emotionally stunted when faced with distress so it’s nice to see people talking that out in particularly with like jealousy and stuff

AND their interactions in public and the understanding. knowing it takes time and stuff for them to adjust and allowing them the time. they are extremely different to other people and they want to be distinct and they can be and arre to each other they dont need to follow anyone else’s rules (except the costume department sometimes needs to get better pants for muren like that’s my rule tbh but that’s neither here nor there)

did some1 call them emotional support himbos? i think so cos word. 

oh one more thing idk the name of the actor playing li chen and im too tired to look it up but i like him a lot i think he does a good job of going seamlessly between like a jubilant person and an actual human being. he plays well at being oblivious but not outright stupid and emotionally stunted or not picking up certain signals. i think at times it seems like he doesn’t always have a sense of self  like trying to be something else for other people but then he realizes like he can’t do that so all he can do is be himself which leads him 2 his mans but yea. the actor does a decent job! it’s a fun character to wathc

[daisy--sorbet]

heyyy, hope you’re having a good night!! if you have the energy and feel okay answering, what’s up w taz graduation? i haven’t checked it out yet but i was thinking ab it. just asking bc you’re the first person i saw talk ab the show having serious issues, but also feel free to not answer this!! hope you have a good week!

i took a nice hot bath, had a strawberry kiwi capri-sun, and did a nice face mask and i’m feeling pretty good - so, y’know what anon? let’s talk about it. 

for anyone who likes taz grad who sees this post: it’ll be tagged with “taz grad hate” (although i feel hate is definitely a very strong word - it’s for the simplicity of tagging it) - so please block the tag if you don’t want to see this post (especially because i put a readmore on a post before and it didn’t show up on mobile and instead gave the full post). mobile tumblr has a tag blocking system, so please feel free to use it! i don’t mind haha

anyway, so this is... probably going to be a lost post, and i wanna go ahead and preface it: this absolutely isn’t any hate on the mcelroys themselves. i love the brothers and their dad a lot, and while i doubt any of them would ever see this (or have it sent to them, or shown to them, because im pretty sure they try to distance themselves from this sort of thing), i just want to make it clear that criticizing a product is different than bashing a person. which brings me to the point of if i do end up sounding as if im bashing someone - please call me out on it! it’s not my intention to target anyone.

with that said, let’s talk about this campaign.

so my problems are as thus: the railroading, the shipping (a fandom problem, but it’s present in the podcast), the NPCs, and some misc problems others have addressed better than i have.

which. i know. that’s basically the entire podcast. (i promise i’ll bring up some positive points to balance it all out). keep in mind i’ve only personally listened to... what, six episodes? and it was enough for me to drop it. some people dropped it first ep, some dropped it ep four, and others are still forcing themselves to listen.

the railroading

there was a time i could handle travis and his railroading [making sure the story goes exactly the way he has planned], because it was the very beginning of the podcast and that’s what you can kind of expect from a plot-heavy podcast. hell, i wouldn’t mind it if the interactions and goofs weren’t a huge part of why i listen to TAZ in particular (which, by the way, is why amnesty still stuck out to me - even if there was a direction griffin wanted to push them towards, the interactions between the players (or players and npcs) made up for any railroading). it’s kind of hard to not railroad a little when it’s story-heavy and you’re trying to built up a world that you’ve put a lot of thought into. however, a huge part of d&d is the spontaneity. 

it’s kind of why i think balance was so popular. while there was railroading towards the end, there was the presence of improv that made it all good. most mcelroy content is enjoyed because of the goofs. the magic brian moment is memorable. the jenkin’s fight still stands out because it was funny (albeit a result of some bad rolls). the boys teasing angus sticks out because the four would play well off of each other. even without that - griffin had talked about how he had to roll with things (the fact he had planned for a fight atop the train, but ditched the idea for what his family members came up with instead). even in amnesty, a couple moments that stick out to me still are ned with the jetpack taking out a pizza hut sign, and the scene with the water where jake was trapped inside. they aren’t as fun, but they still stand out as “things i didnt expect to really end the way they did.”

with grad, it’s just. one after another. the thundermen want to subpoena a xorn? cool, let’s run with that until actually the xorn gets fed rocks and goes home and who cares about the subpoena now. fitzroy wants to keep his cloak? lets talk about it for a while and you also get no rolls to even try to keep it. fitzroy goes to meet higglemas in his office? oh, why are you here fitzroy? im going to keep asking you until you answer fitzroy? you arent getting out of this scene until you answer me, fitzroy, so just tell me why you’re here already, alright, fitzroy? 

and even later in a episode i read a transcript of: hey argo, remember how you have this whole secret motivation? fuck you, im gonna talk about it here in your dream and reveal it to listeners and remove any tension you had building up, and you dont get a choice to talk about it because this all-knowing villain knows all about it :)

and even NOW in the latest episode, there’s a comment that “we should cap argo’s skills here” instead of just... making the checks higher. rogues are good at certain things and usually arent the best in battles. better hope argo never makes it to level 11, because who knows how people are gonna handle the fact that he gets a skill that’ll make it so certain skills can’t have a roll below 10 (reliable talent). 

(griffin, thankfully, calls travis out for that, but still - travis, why would you even imply that, considering you should be aware of how rogues work considering magnus multiclassed into rogue and you played one on tiny heist?)

and in the newest episode, their Big Bad chaos (which, god, i personally hate that name) straight-out says “dont do this” to the thundermen. travis tries to say, on twitter, “a character saying “dont do this” is different than me saying it” but i need to point out that it’s one thing if you’ve said “no” in character but worked with the PCs doing otherwise, but the railroading says differently.

the shipping

ill try to make this quick, because it’s nothing to do with the fandom (ship however you want, man) - but i really feel the need to draw attention to this.

fitzroy, as confirmed by griffin in a ttazz episode, is asexual. not aroace, but ace nonetheless. and i find it... troublesome that the idea of rainer and fitzroy having a relationship is still pushed nonetheless, despite the fact that fitzroy (to my knowledge) was never once shown to reciprocate any feelings. not to be that person, but i really hope that grad doesnt have any sort of romantic relationships in it (at least - not between NPCs and PCs unless they’re actually like... warranted?). 

i dont know, man. one of my closest friends is ace, and i know she wants a relationship, but i think it would reassure her a lot to see an ace character who isn’t pushed into one in case she ever changes her mind. someone once mentioned that they hope fi/tz/ra/in doesnt happen because theres relationships that have that “oh, you can just date” and it goes upwards there to “oh, you can have sex just to please them <3″  (which, to be honest, is kind of a gross mindset - if someone isnt interested, they arent interested).

also, uh, the TTAZZ where griffin states this, there’s kind of the mention tht the whole sexuality question was posed in relation to the episode “creative thinking” (the dream one i mentioned earlier) - which. uh. i don’t know if anyone caught this, but... rainer straight-up wrote fitzroy a letter in the dream like “are you going to accept my proposal? a girl doesn’t like to be left waiting” which. leaves me with some gross feelings because uh.

if... if the whole thing about fitzroys sexual orientation was addressed here, then why would you push your ship anyway? feels kinda iffy, man.

to which i want to say: fitzroy can date. he’s allowed to date. griffins allowed to do whatever he wants with his character. but when a lot of the flirting is met with nothing, i’m not gonna see the chemistry there. just because travis ships it doesn’t mean it’s canon.

the npcs

ah yes. lets talk about the npcs.

there’s... a lot. a lot a lot. i think travis trimmed down how many were present in a scene, but uh. there’s still a lot. and... uh... i kinda wish there wasn’t?

look, i know im going back to balance/amnesty, but just. hang in there for a moment. chill with me. vibe. 

balance didnt have too many NPCs present at all times in each mini-arc. gerblins had some big names like barry, klarg, gundren, killian, yeemick, and magic brian. rockport limited had angus, jess, graham the juicy wizard jenkins, and all of the tom bodetts mentioned. 

amnestys first arc had mama, barclay, jake, dani, pigeon, kirby, minerva, and that was about it for like. big names? and not all of them were present in each scene. 

in the first episode of grad alone: gary, hernandez, jimson, rolandus, zana, rhodes, buckminster eden, rainer, leon, tomas, hieronymous, higglemas, stuart, jackle, bartholomeus, mulligan, groundsy, germaine/victoria/rattles (the skeleton crew). and those are the ones i wrote down (minus groundsy, who i just. ignores. idk him).

like holy shit, my english prof got onto me for having too many characters in my first chapter and i didnt even have half the amount listed there! 

it’s just a huge cast. does this take place in a school? yes! theres bound to be a lot of students present - but you don’t have to name every single one of them, at least not in the first episode!

the miscellaneous

i don’t know if travis ever actually addressed it, but wheelchair users have actually like... said that rainer’s introduction bothered them, because she was like “please ask me abt my wheelchair :)” when travis saying she was in an ornate chair would have sufficed. 

uh. the colonization vibes people have discussed within the centaur arc. mentioned here, the replies here, and this post (and its replies) here as well.

the overall lack of d&d when the campaign was kind of advertised as a return to d&d if i remember correctly

also no one seems to be taking literally any criticism at all which like. ignoring the petty shit, sure, but people have stopped donating to taz and their listener-ship must have dropped some during this entire time - you’d think that maybe someone could say “we need to find out why people dont like the thing and fix the thing” consider this is. yknow. their livelihood.

anyway uhhh 

tl;dr: travis railroads way too much (even now), the shipping in-game has become pushy and gross (especially bc its shoving a relationship onto an asexual character), theres too many npcs that dont stand out well enough, and no ones taking any criticism about the major issues with grad. 

[misssophiachase]

Set It Up – A kinda but not really Klaroline Fusion (like all my different fusions)

Caroline Forbes and Klaus Mikaeslon are working as assistants to the most demanding, rival NBA bosses in New York. From Macy’s to Madison Square Garden to the MGM Grand in Las Vegas can they stop bickering long enough to come together to make their lives easier?

All I do is Win

151 W 34th Street, New York, NY 

"Before you say anything,” he offered, holding his hand up to silence her. “He actually tried to fire a mailman today.” 

He being Mason Lockwood, the Brooklyn Nets owner. He was also notorious for being an arrogant, demanding bastard and then some. 

“And?”

“Mailmen work for the U.S. government!"

“Oh boo hoo, I don’t care, Mikaelson,” she replied gruffly, equally not caring but also knowing it was true and his boss was an ass. 

“Says the girl whose boss could give Cruella De Ville a run for her money.” He wasn’t wrong. New York Knicks boss Katherine Pierce was fierce, feisty and a real bitch at the best and worst of times.

“Exactly why I’m here to claim my blender that you have your grubby paws all over. I called earlier and put it on hold,” Caroline demanded, exhausted from the trek to Macy’s Department Store noticing he was already clutching it possessively.   

She took a few seconds to admire that his thieving ass was sort of attractive in that fitted, grey suit even if he didn’t know his proper place.

Five days ago she didn’t even know him but Klaus Mikaelson had made both an immediate and lasting impression on her, and it wasn’t a good one. She had always welcomed competition but his good looks were kind of messing with her resolve. 

Bastard.

She had no intention of letting him win.

Ever.

“But your name isn’t on it,” he shot back, refusing to relinquish her property. 

“Now, that’s extremely mature,” she scowled. “If I don’t get this exact gift for the Warner wedding my boss is going to kill me.” 

Yes, to some it was just your run-of-the-mill gadget that mixed ingredients together. But this wasn’t just any blender. This was the newest, state of the art Vitamix Blender that retailed at a jaw dropping $1198.

It also happened to be the last one left in Manhattan, Caroline knew given just how many stores she’d called in vain. She just hoped the Warners were grateful, if she managed to steal it from his greedy clutches of course.

“My boss will too given it’s a gift for his only sister’s birthday,” he shot back. “If you think I’m going to give up this blender without a fight you’re sorely mistaken.” 

Okay, maybe she had forgotten in her haste to put it on hold, oops, but Klaus didn’t have to know that.

“Only because you got caught out breaking the rules because I already put this on hold,” she bluffed, refusing to let him win.

“Okay fine, what do you want?” 

“I thought I made myself pretty clear, Mikaelson,” she growled, gesturing towards the blender.  

“What else do you want besides this blender?” 

They both held each other’s gaze for a full thirty seconds before each finally responded their resolve unflinching. 

“Disney on Ice tickets. I hear that the Under the Sea Christmas Spectacular is a huge hit in your borough.”  Brooklyn was most definitely a bad word she could never utter.  

“Seriously? That’s really what you want?”

“Deathly,” she hit back, rolling her eyes as she did it. “Surely you would have some contacts, you know if you’re actually a good assistant.” 

“Because I’m sure Katherine Pierce would love to watch a singing crab and one memory-less fish,” he scoffed. 

“She may be the Ice Queen but she also has thirteen impossible and incessant nieces and nephews. And last time I checked all fish were memory-less.”

“Well, then you’ve never met my Marvin.” Caroline was trying to ignore just how adorable he looked defending his goldfish one dimple at a time.  “Even so those tickets will cost me more than this blender.”

“Okay, so how about I sweeten the deal with some boxing tickets?”

“Not sure the local boxing round robin is his speed, love, so that’s a definite no.”

“Well, I suppose it’s your loss,” she drawled. “Hand over my blender then, Mikaelson.”

“You’re going to have to make me,” he replied jokingly. 

“Real mature,” Caroline reiterated, surprising him and plucking it from his grasp. She couldn’t miss the way his hand felt brushing against hers as she did. “I hope I never have to see your smug ass again.” She stalked away, hips swaying in her wake.

“Until I have to explain the missing blender,” he called out in frustration by way of response. 

“Because I’m sure a missing blender is going to be your biggest problem given you turned down Pacquiao vs Broner ringside seats in Vegas.”  

She made a mental note in her head. Caroline Forbes 1 - Klaus Mikaelson 0. Suddenly her hellish life as an assistant wasn't so bad if he was suffering too.

4 Pennsylvania Plaza, New York, NY 

Klaus Mikaelson was the type to hold grudges. It started when he was six years-old and his younger brother Kol stole his favourite toy and it had only grown stronger and more spiteful in the years afterward. 

Caroline Forbes was going to pay. Mainly because his boss hadn’t let him forget how pathetic he was to lose the blender he wanted to ‘a girl’ as he emphasised in air quotes. Klaus was far from chauvinistic and his boss was obviously still living in the dark ages. 

Caroline wasn’t just ‘a girl’ she was a pain in his ass and Klaus planned to bring her down and it didn’t hurt that it was her home game either. 

Rivals the Knicks and Nets were squaring off at Madison Square Garden and he’d been plotting his revenge ever since their last meeting. Sure, she was kind of gorgeous with those blonde waves and crystal, blue eyes but she was also his devious competition. And she was unrelenting. He had to beat her at her own game and he’d found the perfect way to do it.

“Glutton for punishment hey?” 

“Excuse me?” He shot back from their neighbouring, courtside seats. The pre-game arrangements were well underway. “Last time I checked the Nets and their staff have every right to be here, even if it is on enemy territory.”

“Unfortunately, yes,” she growled. “But it’s nice to know you are going down tonight.”

“Have you seen the ladder, Forbes?”

“You are one game ahead, after tonight that won’t be the case,” she scoffed. Klaus took a moment to peruse her outfit before arguing back. Even in her hideous blue and orange jersey she couldn’t help but look stunning. He decided to put it down to the fact her floral perfume was infiltrating his nostrils and messing with his composure. 

“Wanna make a bet?”

“I’m pretty good at those but if you’re game.”

“Oh I’m game,” he smirked. “The Nets win you get me those ringside seats in Vegas. And by seats, I’m going to need eight.”

“Wow, someone is wishful thinking, but yeah sure, not that you’re going to win,” she scoffed. “I cannot wait to witness the annihilation, Mikaelson.” 

Klaus didn’t even respond, just sent her a teasing glance and made his way to the changerooms to finalise everything. He had a good feeling that his team were going to take the win and Klaus would be on the way to Vegas for the big fight at the MGM Grand. His boss would forget that bloody blender ever existed. 

“In your face, Forbes,” Klaus celebrated hours later as the Nets crowd at Madison Square Garden continued to chant well after the final buzzer. She was shocked to say the least, still cute in defeat but he’d never admit it aloud.  

“This is all your fault,” she snarled. “You cheated.”

“Last time I checked I wasn’t on the court.”

“Yeah probably a good thing, you’d never actually keep up, lazy bones,” she snorted. “How about that whole surprise pre-game show where number one Nets fans Beyonce and Jay-Z just decided to belt out the Star Spangled Banner from their seats?”

“I had nothing to do with that,” he lied.

“You are the worst liar,” she huffed. “You know just how well it would be received and in turn boost team morale.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he bluffed. “The best team on the day won.”

“You are unbelievable,” she scowled. “Must really be desperate given just how much your job depends on it.”

“Is that what you say to make your situation better?” He shot back. “Didn’t think you’d stoop that low, oh hang on that whole blender situation was exactly that.”

“I guess I’m desperate,” she murmured, Klaus couldn’t miss the way her expression seemed so defeated all of a sudden. “My college loans are looming and I may have been a little dishonest under pressure because my boss wants to fire me all the time.”

“Story of my life too believe it or not,” he offered. “If only they could get on with their lives and not focus on every little thing that we do.”

“Hang on,” she murmured. “That might not be the worst idea you ever had, Mikaelson. How about we set them up together?”

“Mason and Katherine? That’s just a recipe for disaster. That much combined combustible energy cannot be safe.”

“Exactly why we have to do it,” she murmured, raising her eyebrows.

“So, I suppose I’ll see you in Vegas then?”

“If you’re lucky,” she chuckled, but given her tone Klaus knew she’d be there no matter what.  

MGM Grand, 3799 S Las Vegas Blvd Las Vegas, NV

“Okay, I sent the fruit basket to her room.”

“Aren’t you a romantic,” she drawled teasingly, barely looking up from her magazine on the bed as he entered. Klaus Mikaelson was the last person she expected to organise that. As much as she was attracted to him, Caroline was seeing no similar interests besides setting up their bosses. 

“Please don’t ever call me that. But, last time I checked you’d done absolutely nothing,” Klaus shot back. “And I won the last bet and everything. Time to show you care, Forbes.”

“Like sending an identical one hour massage voucher to both his and her rooms for the same time in the hotel spa?”

“I suppose that’s okay,” he mumbled.

“Why do I get the impression that you don’t like ideas coming from anyone but yourself?”

“Well...”

“It must be all that ego,” she groaned. 

“You really do hate me,” he asked incredulously, it was unusual for any female to think badly of him let alone abuse him incessantly. 

“For the most part.”

“Wow, aren’t you sweet,” he drawled. “So what are we supposed to do to pass the time?”

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” Caroline shot back. “How about something more intellectual?”

“Wow. Finally something we have in common,” he smirked triumphantly, as she produced a chess board. 

“I happened to be chess champion five years running in High School.”

“Well, don’t want all those potential but ignorant suitors knowing that fact,” he chuckled, sending a stray dimple her way. Caroline tried to pretend that it didn’t affect her but everything inside was telling her that it did. 

And she was scared of the foreign feelings it had caused.

But in true Caroline fashion she decided to push it aside so she could beat him at chess then deal with the consequences that were threatening to derail her feelings later. She didn’t get that chance though. In fact she was in a more vulnerable position than expected. 

“Check Mate,” he murmured, sweeping his queen across the board to take her king. 

She was stunned at first mainly because she never lost. Ever. But he seemed to know her and rather than unsettling her it was weirdly okay.

Bastard.

“We have a boxing match to get to,” she responded mechanically. His hand grabbed hers immediately, the warmth spreading through her body. “Need to keep an eye on our bosses after all.”

“Or we could do something else?” He offered, squeezing her hand affectionately. “My siblings are in town tonight but I’m going to warn you they are...”

“Nick’s Fans?” She asked. “I’ve certainly experienced them and worse.”

“You have no idea, in fact I think they’d be perfect company for Katherine and Mason.”

“Why do I get the feeling you don’t care if you lose your job right now?”

“Well, if you knew my brother Kol and his big mouth,” he teased. “But if you’d rather...”

“No, I’m starting to really like your brother Kol.”

“Well. then you’re really going to like my sister Rebekah,” he chuckled. “How about we explore Vegas some more? See what fun we can get up to?”

“I suppose it can’t hurt, right?” Caroline replied.

Famous last words.

[doublebabyboy]

what got7 are like in bed

obv this is just my opinion, i’d happily discuss them w you if youd msg me or send me an ask but yeah

warning: smut (obviously)

mark:

probably a little flustered at first

but the more he warms up to you, the more of a tease he becomes

not exactly a hardcore dom or sub, just a top since he’s pretty lowkey

but would bottom for you if you asked

just likes being on top bc he likes doing all the work

giver > receiver

he gets off on whatever you get off on, not really any major kinks or turn ons on his part, except one i’ll get onto later down the list

knows how crazy his voice can drive you and takes full advantage of it

so therefore; dirty talk

doesn’t really know what to say tho so just focuses on how good you make him feel

“fuck baby you’re so tight” “mmm that feels good”

uses “baby” or “babygirl” a lot

relatively quiet apart from dirty talk, occasional quiet moans

but if you pull his hair he won’t be able to help a louder moan slipping out

now onto the part you’ve been waiting for, his one major turn on:

hickeys

have you fuckign seen his teeth?? his lil canines?? perfect for hickeys im tELLing you

loves marking (pun intended BAD UM TSS) all over your neck, collarbones, and inner thighs

not into like super dark large bruises but more like lots of small lovebites scattered all over the place

the reason why he’s mostly quiet is bc if his mouth isnt whispering dirty things in your ear, its on your skin

doesn’t really have a fav position as long as it gives easy access to your neck

can only go once but can last a looooong time; best at self control apart from jinyoung

pretty needy, doesn’t like vocalizing it tho

so he’d probably try to give you the hint subtly like casually rubbing your inner thigh and giving you that look with dark eyes as he bites his lip subconsciously

usually that’s all it takes but if you decide to tease him he’ll break eventually, he’ll lean close right next to your ear and whisper “please baby,” and move your hand to his bulge and fffuck you can’t resist that

jaebum:

sigh

yall know he’s a daddy

sorry if you dont like the kink but have you seen jaebum,,, hes a daddy

HELLA DOM

might sub for you like once a year but he won’t be a good boy

probably a huge brat that keeps trying to take control again so you’d probably have to handcuff him or physically restrain him from taking over somehow

if not, he will flip you over and fuck you into the mattress for even attempting

but anyways if you dont like daddy he’d settle for master or sir but if you’d rather just use his name he’d still want to be very in control

whatever name you’re using, you’d be screaming it

tells you to be quiet and not make a noise, but actually loves it when you’re vocal, he just tells you off so he can have an excuse to punish you or just tease you and see how far he can push you

loves pushing your limits

groans loudly when you clench around him

dirty talk

“you’re such a good girl for daddy” “don’t make daddy punish you” “i own this pretty little cunt, got it?”

likes marking you where everyone can see, the smug bastard

bondage (giving)

edging!! hes such a tease

orgasm denial if you’re being a brat

will not let you come unless you’re begging

if you come early he’ll rile you up again only to leave you hanging or with a dry orgasm

wants you to be his good girl but enjoys the challenge of a brat

“babygirl” “baby” “kitten” “pet”

prefers giving oral because he likes watching you squirm

makes you cum multiple times from his tongue

won’t deny a blowjob though

threads his hands in your hair and pulls harshly, letting out low grunts

likes to come inside you

jackson:

oh boy

switch but probably won’t be a whiny sub/good boy

very vocal either way

sweet talk and praise aaaaaaaaall the way

“you’re taking my cock so well baby” “fuck princess you’re so good to me”

pet names!!

“princess” “baby” “angel” “babygirl” you name it

b o d y  w o r s h i p

treats your body like a temple; loves every inch of it

kisses eeeeverywhere

likes marking your thighs

just loves your thighs in general hes a thigh man

thigh highs??? o o f he’s wrecked

loooves lingerie, will move your panties to the side and leave it on if you decide to wear it

sobs tHIGH RIDING have you seen this mans thighs

and the way he lowkey gave jinyoung a lap dance when he said he wanted to feel his “manly thighs”? he would so get off on watchin you get off on his thigh

loves receiving head but always insists on repaying the favour

shameless moaning; will tell you what youre doing good

likes it when you tell him what he’s doing right or just tell him what to do, he wants to do anything in his power to please you

im sobbing he’d treat you like a QUEEN

you’re more vanilla? he got it. you wanna be rough and kinky? gladly. you wanna tie his to the bed post? fuck it, sure. want it slow and romantic? any day of the week. wanna call him daddy? why not. the list goes on

would be okay with threesomes if it was with someone he was close to/trusted enough to know they’d treat you well, maybe even a poly partner

doesnt mind if its ffm or mmf i get the feeling he’s bi anyways

very caring and attentive to your needs

is quite needy himself tho

always dtf

“princess i’m so hard for you...can you help me out?”

king of aftercare

would clean you up and cuddle you

probably end up going for round four in the shower if you clean up int here tho

this man has stamina and WILL go multiple times, wants you to do the same

jinyoung:

soft dom

probably the most vanilla out of the group imo

really romantic

when he has time, likes to set up the mood by putting rose petals everywhere and like mood lighting maybe with some scented candles and like music??

wants the full experience yknow

not a huge fan of quickies but will do them if he gets a boner he cant get rid of at a bad time

still tho, a huge tease

intense eye contact

will smirk at you and just hover over you, waiting for you to cave in and beg him to touch you

always goes down on you before going in, he knows foreplay is important, plus he loves being in between your legs

mainly bc he lives off the sounds of your moans and whimpers

music to his ears

likes giving it to you nice and slow until you urge him to go faster

tends to only go once or twice himself but if you want more he’d happily go down on you again afterwards or use his fingers

body worship; but probably not to jackson’s extent

also quite quiet in terms of moans, mostly just low grunts and lots of erratic breathing

always asks if you’re okay

sweet talk sweet talk

literally the definition of whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he makes love to you

how pretty you look under him, how good you’re being, how much he loves you

most of the time loving and gentle but if you prefer more rough sex he’s down for that too

will leave hickeys in places where people can’t see, he likes knowing that you hide a dirty little secret under those clothes

has the most self-control in the group, can hold back for a long time because he always insists on you coming first and refuses to come before you

youngjae:

im already dying

ultimate sub

fucking fight me youngjae is the biggest sub ever he’s babyboy culture

might top for you if youre a hella sub too but never full on dom, ever

would be really blushy and flustered and always asking if he’s hurting you

seems pretty vanilla when he tops, lets his inner freak out as a bottom

extremely, extremely vocal

just can’t help the moans and whines tumble out of his mouth when you make him feel so good

he starts off biting his lip to try stay quiet but it does’t really work

eventually just lets it all out and is very loud

his moans would be the most delicious noises in the world

loves it when you talk dirty to him

just do it

talk dirty to him

it makes him feel so filthy and he basks in it

CALL HIM BABYBOY he’s so weak for that

likes being completely powerless and surrendering to you and letting you have your way with him

just loves it when you tell him what to do

pull on his hair pull on his hair he will go w i  l d

won’t bring it up or suggest it but if you used toys on him he’d go crazy

would love to use a toy you’ve already used on yourself, again it makes him feel dirty and he loves it

degrade him or praise him or a mix of both, either way he’ll love it

probably would struggle to form proper sentences so just moans a lot and lets out strings of curses and moans your name,, loudly,,

unless you havent gotten the message already HE LOUD

will ask you for hickeys, he loves when you cover him in them, he’ll just look at them in the mirror the next day in awe

pretty low self control but can come multiple times

highkey likes being overstimulated

needs aftercare; clean him up and give him lots and lots of cuddles

and food bc who doesn’t like food

tell him he did well and he’ll melt into a puddle if he hasn’t already

im so wrecked for sub youngjae oh y god

im not ok

bambam:

FUCKING HELP ME BAM IS MY ULT BIAS THIS IS GONNA GET LOOONG (much longer than the others im sorry im biased)

like his dick ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

no but fr

bambam is big

think about it ok on live tv he publicly said his iconic how do you know line then looked down at his dick like any horny teenager, and in the same episode, pointed at his dick repeatedly as his “sexy version” of just right and hip thrusted when meant to do a cute version of if you do

do you really think he’d be that confident if he didn’t have anything to back it up??? no ok BAMBAM IS BIG

anyways getting to it - bambam is the Ultimate Switch™ dont even @ me

he will be all cocky and say he’s a dom and heck he’ll be a dom and a damn good one

but he will jump at the opportunity to sub for you any day of the week

probably would start off really awkward leading to lots of giggly and playful sex

even once he’s gotten familiar with you, there would probably still be a fair amount of giggly and playful sex

has lots of turnons, likes both giving and receiving for all of them

he is a freak im telling you lemme just list a few things

hair pulling - moans really loudly if you pull his hair and probably swears, also pulls on your hair w/out realising it but once you respond by moaning he will take full advantage of it to hear you

hickeys - second to mark on the hickey loving list, only he loves receiving as much as giving, loves finding your sweet spot and concentrating on it

scratching - rake your nails down his back as he tops you, he loves the burning sensation it gives him, also will probably do the same if you’re topping

bondage, probably just restraining hands tho but i mean. if you whip out a harness or some kinky shit he wouldn’t be opposed to it

honestly he’s really livin the yolo life he’d try anything once bc why the fuck not

dirty talk dirty talk

his mind his filthy; his mouth is filthy

“babygirl you’re so tight around my cock” “do that again princess” “fuck you look so hot under me”

“babygirl” “baby” “princess” “kitten” again, you name it, he’s down

won’t ask for it, but will get a hella ego boost if you call him daddy

but still not as into it as jaebum

does anything he can to make you moan, he could listen to your moans all day

very observant of all the little things that make you tick so you can have the best experience he can give you

very shameless moaner after passing the initial awkwardness of the first few times

second loudest moaner next to youngjae fffuuuuck imagine his moans for a second just hjdksjk

as a sub: he loves it when you tie him up and overstimulate him with assorted toys and yourself, obviously

give him a vibrator and a vibrating cockring and ride him and pull his hair he will go absolutely insane, it overwhelms him so much and he loves it

says he hates being overstimulated but actually enjoys the pain

as a dom: he likes fucking you hard and fast, secretly loves when you’re a brat because he sees it as a challenge and loves the thrill of battling you for dominance (but sometimes lets you win bc its hot)

will probably use toys on you and make you come over and over again for him bc he cannot get enough of seeing you come, he’ll overstimulate you as well

either dom or sub: he loves oral, both giving and receiving, you could argue he likes it better than penetration

have you seen his lips oh my godddd those were made for giving head (and making out. or just kissing in general. help me i love bambams lips)

he loves the way his mouth can make you moan and writhe so much, he could probably live between your legs if you let him, making you come multiple times

also hella into face riding sit on his face oh god just sit on his face

pull on his hair pull on his hair pull on his hair he’ll moan into you

looooooooooves receiving head too, moans loudly and grips your hair harshly

doesn’t fuck your face but just pulls on your hair and moves at whatever pace you set

also loves coming inside you, but second favourite is on your face

also super needy, probably has the highest sex drive

his cocky ass would send you nudes if you weren’t around

if you were around, he’d come up to you and give you a back hug, pressing up his boner against your ass to not so subtly hint his problem

if you ignored him, he’d start kissing your neck and humming

and if you continued ignoring him, he’d whisper really close to your ear, his voice all raspy and low and say something like “don’t play hard to get babygirl, i know you want this dick,” then proceed to tell you in explicit detail all the things he’d do to you

at that point you wouldn’t be able to hold back anymore

this is way too long already but i hAvE to adD

r i s k y  s e x

he would be so into the thrill and adrenaline it got him he’d get off to that so hard

it would be like a game to him, see how many different places he can do it and get away w it

probably would do it in the same room as his members ngl

maybe even with his members, i also see him as the type to be open to threesomes or polyamory

loves making out w/ you which usually leads to sex unless its a rlly soft loving moment

probably still gonna lead to sex bc believe it or not, the kinky fucker is still capable of making love to u hdsjsk

ok i think i just wrote an essay here im so sorry ill stop

yugyeom:

97 line? maknae line? more like Ultimate Switch™ line

openly admits he’s a switch unlike bambam who tries to say hes a dom

actually i think he shares a lot of things with bambam

not even gonna lie they’ve probably hooked up once or twice when they got wasted

still friends tho with no regrets but it was a thing

either hella intense dom or whiniest sub with no in between

goes from daddy to babyboy in like 0.0002 secs

(probably not into being called daddy tho)

proooobably has a noona kink when he’s subbing

the only member who can beat bambam in his hair pulling kink, he love love loooves it when you pull his hair he lets out the softest moans

in general, his moans are high pitched and whiny and ughghhh h o t

will go crazy if you call him babyboy or pet but mainly babyboy

even if he’s subbing he likes to be the one doing the work bc he’s fast and damn those dancer hips so he’s probably too impatient to let you do it lol

but you like to tease him so sometimes you’d tie him up and ride him real slow until he’s begging you and whimpering to speed up

peg him he loves that shit

honestly he may be a hella switch but as soon as your mouth is on his dick he is a babyboy there’s nothing he can do about it

he will moan and pet your hair and pull it when he comes

doesn’t like blowjobs bc he’s embarrassed at how fast he loses it compared to his usual stamina

which is a lot btw, he can go on forever istg

perks of being a main dancer

speakin of main dancer

his s e x y  d a n c e s

would gladly give you a lap dance beforehand of just a full on fucking strip show this boy is wild

would gladly accept any lap dances or strip shows also lolololol

overall very rough and impatient bc he’s a horny boy

probably second highest sex drive next to bams

gets all pouty if you deny him too long

then fucks you into the wall out of frustration dAMN

unless you plan on punishing him for being so needy ohohohoh

okay im gonna call it quits before this becomes a novel

hope y’all enjoyed bc damn i sure did

[shinwnn]

i said i love you (&. yoongi)

(inspo) five word prompts “i said i love you”

you and yoongi have always been close

like you’ve never known a time in your life where he wasn’t more than a 15 minute drive away from you

& he’s always taken care of u in an endearing older sibling sort of way, even though he was only a year older than u

in hs while you guys were applying to colleges, you figured you’d just maximize ur chances by applying to any college in the city

but yoongi wouldn’t let u and instead went through each place on ur list and crossed out anywhere w in the general vicinity of a crime committed within the past 5 years

“yoongi stop it i’ll buy some pepper spray or something”

and while he’s laying on ur bed looking up each school he says, “pepper spray? u think that’s going to keep u safe? it’s just better if ur somewhere closer to me so i can keep an eye on u”

to which u replied with a teasing smile: “oh i see. so u don’t want me to go far bc ur gonna miss me right? bc ur life would be empty without me?”

yoongi looks up from the laptop and sees how content u are with urself (ur eyes lit up, ur cute smug smile) and his heart almost jumps the slightest bit

but without skipping a beat, he shoots back, “i hope u and ur stupid pepper spray get married far away from me”

neither of you have really let yourselves think abt the possibility of a romantic relationship between the two of you bc things seem so perfect with you guys being best friends that neither of you wanted to even think abt the possibility of change

it’s there though - there’s love in the way you guys look each other and think abt each other when the other person isn’t there and eat dinners with each others families

u end up going to school nearby yoongi’s at a college that he found  for u bc he knows the programs ur interested in and atmosphere that u like, and mostly bc he knows ur far too lazy to do any of the research urself

you’ve been going there for about two years now and you don’t see yoongi everyday, but you guys make it a habit to meet up every weekend no matter what

sometimes you go out for adventures on the town, but honestly with yoongi, most of the time it’s just lazy saturday nights on the couch with blankets and good music playing in the background while u guys tell each other abt ur weeks

and it’s just such a cute, wholesome friendship

recently, yoongi’s skipped out on some of these weekend hangouts bc an executive from an entertainment company heard some of the songs he writes in his free time & want him to try composing music for them

so yeah, he’s been busy writing draft after draft of the same demo

and you are so !! happy for him bc you know this has always been his dream

but you’re also worried bc you know how hard he can be on himself and how he always forgets to take care of himself

for the past few weeks you’ve been sending him periodic text messages checking up on him and letting him know what youve been up to, but all you receive in return is a sticker and, once in a while, a :~)”

and you’ve been trying to support him and you give him his space and time so he can write his best but you can’t lie that youre a little disappointed that he’s not making any effort to talk to you

so this weekend you decide to bring him dinner bc he said he’d be in working all night and , quite simply, you just really miss ur best friend

u make him kimchi jiggae bc u know how much he likes ur cooking & u pack some rice & side dishes and head over

but when u show up at his apartment and u realize he isnt home ur a little disappointed and kinda like ??? :/// where is he

you wait around a bit but he’s not answering his phone and after a while its pretty clear that he won’t be back anytime soon so you just hang the bag of food on the door handle with a little note saying “you must miss me a lot right? eat well buddy!!”

and you hang around for 5 more minutes bc ur hopeful but eventually you decide to start home

you remember that there’s a cafe nearby that yoongi would always take you to, so you decide to grab something before you head home

when you walk in the first thing you see is none other than ur best friend sleepily looking at his laptop & ur about to walk over excitedly

but when you look a little longer you notice he’s sitting across from a girl and they’re sharing a dessert & when she says something they both laugh happily

and you can’t explain it, you’re not even sure if it really happened, but you think your heart may have dropped at that moment

you also can’t explain why you turn around and walk out of the cafe when you make eye contact with him

you also can’t explain why you linger outside the cafe just long enough for him to come out and look for you

and when he does come outside you’re a little embarrassed bc you dont know why you did that, but when you look back inside and remember how happy he looked to be ditching your technically unsaid plans, any trace of embarrassment faded into anger

“we haven’t seen each other in weeks and you don’t come over and say hi?” he says playfully with a small smirk

you’re completely taken aback by how he’s acting bc ?? does he not even realize

“oh i am SO sorry!” u say w a violent sarcasm, “i didn’t think you would’ve recognized me seeing how you haven’t bothered to reply to any of my messages”

the soft smile that was on yoongi’s lips fades away quickly as he’s realizing that you’re not joking with him

he looks completely lost and he’s searching ur eyes to try and figure out what’s happening, and he looks like he’s about to say something when you cut him off

“it’s just nice to know that while i’ve been worrying about you, you’ve been out enjoying yourself”

his eyes darken a little with worry “hey,, hey” his voice is soft “i’m sorry i haven’t replied, but you know i’ve been busy. i thought you did at least. where’s all this coming from?”

you break eye contact and look down, you don’t want to say anything bc you don’t know either

you don’t know why you’re suddenly feeling protective over your friend

you dont know why you’re so hurt that he’s hanging out with some other girl,,, he’s allowed to after all

he reaches out to tug on ur jacket bc he wants to get ur attention (but also it’s just a habit of his to tug on ur jacket)

& it’s weird but when u look up to meet his sad eyes and something abt having him there, even when you’re upset at him, is so comforting that, for a moment, u feel every feeling you’ve ignored the past 10 years

u feel how much u completely and absolutely love this boy bc u know that he cares about u SO much & how comfortable and warm he can make u feel even when ur angry and it’s freezing cold outside & u feel that more than anything else, yoongi is home to u

but you can’t say any of that to him so instead u just look down again and say, more softly this time “i’m sorry just,,, go back inside okay? don’t worry about me” and you offer him a weak smile

but to him it’s just completely unconvincing

&when you start to leave he’s completely intending on taking you home and telling you how much he’s sorry bc after all he did kind of ditch u

but he can’t just ditch the girl inside so instead he waits with u by the bus stop

& while youre waiting no one says anything which is funny bc all youve wanted to do these past few weeks is talk to yoongi

"by the way, that girl is in one of my music theory classes. she was helping me polish the song i’ve been working on.”

at this point, you’re feeling a little embarrassed again about the way you’re acting (like a jealous girlfriend)

but you’re stubborn so u just make a sound of acknowledgement

“hey, i’m sorry i haven’t been messaging you. i’ll do better. sorry for making you worry. when i finish my demo track, i’ll take you for dinner ok?”

you nod and see the headlights of the bus coming so you stand up

you feel yoongi link arms with you and you look up to what might possible be the cutest little pout

“please don’t be mad at me” there’s a slight whining in his tone and u cant help but wrinkle ur nose at him, sings of amusement clear on ur face

“good night yoongi” you through him one more weak smile bc you can’t find it in u to offer anything more

he goes back inside after you get on the bus but he can’t focus the rest of the time bc when he was supposed to be thinking about how well certain harmonies complemented each other all he could think about was .... how cute you looked when u were upset?? and how come he though you being angry at him for being w another girl was adorable??

so anyway, the last few adjustments he makes to his track suspiciously has characteristics of a love song

when you get home, u roll around ur bed for a while trying to figure out everything you were feeling before you hear your door ring

when u go to answer it ur surprised to see that it’s yoongi, carrying the bag of food you had left for him ...and another bag from your favorite bakery

when he got home and saw the food you had prepared for him he knew immediately that he shouldn’t have let you leave earlier in the first place, so he figures the next best thing is coming with a bag of apology pastries

“miss me? it’s been a long hour right?” he says before shoving the bag he brought you into your hands “eat with me!”

as he makes his way towards ur small dining table, the weird tension that followed you two earlier dissolves almost completely

and ur enjoying it so much that you don’t even notice that you’re not even eating but instead staring fondly at yoongi

and when he looks up at u curiously, putting down his spoon for a moment and tilting his head bc he can tell there’s something you want to say, you take the opportunity

“sorry for being so weird today, i dont know it was weird i was being weird i shouldn’t have done any of that sorry if i ruined ur night or made you uncomfortable or made that girl u were with uncomfortable i dont know whats wrong with me i had expire yogurt for lunch yesterday maybe that’s it and ur still so nice to me even though i was being so weird and im sorry -”

the words are coming out of ur mouth at a mile a minute bc you’ve been thinking a little 2 much and now that ur finally vocalizing the thoughts, you’re finding it a little hard to stop

thankfully, yoongi also had a little time to think on the way over

and so he doesn’t hesitate to shut you up by leaning forward and placing the softest kiss on your lips before leaning back into his seat, smiling at you like he’s proud of what he did

and you can’t explain why it feels so natural when you kiss & why ur heart feels so warm, but then again you’ve been having trouble explaining a lot of things today

“i love you”

“what?” ur still a little in shock (and the fact that u feel like there are a thousand butterflies in ur stomach isn’t helping)

“i said i love you”

“ok idiot i heard u, but ... what?”

“i love how much u care about me and i love how you get mad at me and i love how happy u can make me and i love how many texts in a row you send me even when i don’t respond and i love-”

this time it was your turn to stop him, in the same way

u can feel him smiling into the kiss and u think to urself that this explains everything youve done today

bc you like him and u always have

“okay, i love you too”

[lacnunga]

due to the recent attention quincey and my strange love child has gotten, i’ve decided to do a post of my ‘character building’ aka ‘me just aimlessly rambling at Q in tumblr chat and getting overly invested in our hopeless little loser’. enjoy (or dont idk idc)

Naruto oc Gear

·         platonic bff w/ kankuro

·         i feel like they deserve a mullet. they're completely oblivious to why other people Hate it. they think it's cool.

·         "it feels swishy kank. kank. feels like Wind Country style. kank why are you laughing?"

·         nobody understands why someone 'cool' like kankuro hangs around with this dork

·         its like kakashi and gai. kankuro just shrugs - "dude is a good listener. and they write valentines cards to karasu. they're a weirdo and i love them so back tf off'

·         gear:: nyah

·         kank: what?

·         gear, staring at him through their souless glasses: you know, nyah *makes kitty motions*

·         *gear proceeds to be drop kicked all the way to fire country border*

·         also, nobody know whether gear is male or female or...other?? except their doctor, who enjoys keeping it a secret from a frustrated kankuro.

·         gear has promised him a years worth of buying hi hamburger steaks if he manages to find it out, so kank has some incentive

·         its been nearly ten years...no luck

·         temari doesnt understand the friendship, but its not the weirdest thing her fam is involved in so

·         gear is v scared of gaara though, especially when gaara, in a bid to 'understand his family better' tries to get to know him. gear tries to avoid gaara, but he's. always. there.

·         kank in the end tells gear to Just Talk to Gaara, there's like a 50% chance he won't kill them (if only for kank's sake)

·         wind forwards to a v awkward interrogation session where gear tries to explain the appeal of fireworks and the concept of second hand embarassment

·         no wait

·         i just had a brilliant idea

·         gear is the pioneer of light up ninja sandals

·         are they practical? no way

·         are they weirdly satisfying? hell yeah

·         (when too many shinobi got caught in the field bc their sandals lit up, by decree of the kazekage they can only be worn in the village

·         and preferably never, according to Temari)

·         also gear is a big fan of shino. why? (because I love shino) but Actually because kankuro is still bitter about losing to him

·         so when gear meets shino they make it their mission to become Great Friends, aka the Hoopiest of Froods

·         Rub In That Salt. Can You Taste It Kank? All That Salt.

·         their name is now Gear, or in the japanese version, Giya ギヤ (aka just Gear in katakana - hell, if it works for Lee.) fter visiting konoha kank is sulking bc gear went on and on about how shino was a Cool Guy and had Flair and a certain je ne sais quois ( doesnt know what that means, but it sounds adoring and he Hates it. Gear is his friend, not Shinos)

·         Especially when he remembers that Shino kicked his asssss

·         eventually gear gets ticked off and commisions a cake with big writing on it 'STOP SULKING, KITTY'. kank is weirdly frustrated that gear has remembered his favourite flavour cake

·         gear makes him sarcastic friendship bracelets

·         though gear and shino bond over the fact that nobody knows what their faces/eyes look like. its sort of like an Achievement Unlocked.

·         Gear is then integrated into the Aburame family as a honors member

·         Gets home made pies when ever they visit

·         Kankuro is jelly as usual but does not argue over the pie

·         when shino demonstrates his kikaichuu technique, gear waves their arms around making obnoxious buzzing noises. shino sniggers.

·         hell most things can be forgiven for pie

·         gear actually becomes very good at mimicking the kikaichuu noises so when they go back to suna gear makes the noises when kankuro is least expecting it. the suprised punches to the nose are so worth it.

·         I can just see kankuro just spazzing out before just decking this nerd in the face!

·         Ok but Kin adopts them and loves them but just...just hates their fashion sense more then anything in the world

·         she just eyes their mullet with a twitching brow. gear is holding onto their visor with all their might and watching out for any kunai that might come close to his fabulous mane.

·         lets face it, if shino and gear had a bit of a 'snip snip' training accident, kin wouldn't be disappointed

·         and of course if gear becomes friends with shino, they gotta get along w/ team eight as well. kiba is eyeing their hair with a strange mixture of envy and incredulity. hinata draws gear up some new face-masks. they love them, even the pink floral ones.

·         hinata, handing over the masks: d-do you like them?

·         gear, choked up and holding back sobs: they're fine

·         Gear has a habit of coming to Kank in the middle of the night with the weirdest shit. They knock on his door at three in the morning looking like they're about to cry.

·         G: Kank I've done something awful I'm a murderer

·         Kank is basically ready to help bury a body

·         K:okay okay don't panic what did you do?

·         G: *whispering* I eat eight spiders a year kank. EIGHT SPIDERS. HOW MANY SPIDER ORPHANS HAVE I LEFT TO GRIEVING SPIDER WIDOWS KANK. I'm a MONSTER.

·         K:...go home.

·         K: Spends the night googling 'is it true you swallow eight spiders a year?')

·         i have the idea that gear was a really plain child. you know the kind that never really got noticed and people just realised they were there when they tripped over them.

·         and they finally got sick of it when they graduated the academy like

·         'well now im just going to be so Extra you wont have a choice but to notice me fuck you'

·         now thats not to say they realise the mullet is a bad idea, however it does have the extra incentive of people going 'oh hi- DEAR LORD WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR HEAD'

·         plot twist, they look so completely ordinary under the glasses and mask that even the people who saw their face don't remember it the second they look away

·         surprisingly gear makes an excellent undercover operative

·         Just take off the mask and goggles and visor, fashion their hair a lil, and put on a plain kimmon and BAM Gear is an under cover cop

·         exactly. kankuro is really weirded out by the idea that any of the sort of twenty yo people he passes on the street could be gear

·         Kankuro was terrified of gaara but boy o boy does Gear just raise the steaks a lil

·         They could be anywhere

·         Behind that bush, near the bush, IS THE BUSH

·         one time gear was on a mission with their team and they got separated. in the fight, gear lost his mask, broke his glasses and his visor got tossed. when they returned to their team they had to spend the whole journey back convincing them that 'YES this is me i swear see? im wearing the same underwear!' 'how would we know what underwear you started out wearing?' 'I THOUGHT WE HAD A BOND'

·         they meet kankuro on the way into town and gear is just like 'here, kank is my buddy, he'll tell you im me'

·         'well kankuro-sama, is this Gear?'

·         K:...im gonna be honest i cant fucking tell

·         K:but are they wearing blue boxers with ducks on them?

·         Squad captain: WHY DO YOU-???

·         Kankuro: THINGS HAPPENED OK THEYRE WEIRD AND JUST- DO THEY OR DONT THEY?

·         Gear: *shit eating grin*

·         Temari actually thought those two were together for a long time and they both just missed her euphemistic references to their ahem 'friendship' until Gaara mentions they couldn't put romantic partners on a team together and Kank just

·         ucking falls off his chair like

·         K: Wait what? Since when have we been romantic partners?? News to me??

·         When he talks to Gear about it they seem unfazed just straightfaced tell Kankiro that 'you make my kokoro go doki doki'. Kank doesn't speak to them for a week

·         Aka Gear is once again relegated to the sofa

·         Gear seems to say 'so worth it' a lot

·         Most of the time it really isnt

·         Gears surprisingly good a dancing, specifically the fancy pants type dancing.

·         So bc Kank is the kazekage's brother he's invited to a fancy do somewhere and he brings along Gear as his +1 bc hes a loser w/o a bf/gf. before the do he's just pointedly asking Gear like 'look do i need to teach you how to dance? because there will be dancing. fancy dancing. it will be Expected of You. do you want a dance tutor. are you sure? Are You SURE?'

·         Gear is just waving him off 'Relax kitty, its cool' Kank is just mentally preparing apology speeches for Very Important Peoples' crushed toes

·         the night comes along and Kank is making awkward small talk with some girl who roped him in when suddenly he's yanked away from the convo by Gear

·         before he knows it they're on the dancefloor and SURPRISE gear is waaaay better at dancing than kank's stiff penguin shuffle

·         gear takes great pleasure in dipping him really low at the end

·         and they never let kank forget about it

·         so i dont know if kankuro went to the ninja academy but lets assume he does

·         *did

·         so he and gear are in the same class

·         but gear is of course always forgotten

·         until one day kankuro notices them because IDK he runs into them and knocks them over or something

·         so somehow they hang out that day and kank realises 'yeah this kid is a good one i could hang out with this dude like forever. mine now.'

·         and the next day kank tries to find Gear except

·         the fucker is so Unnoticable

·         kank is just standing in the middle of the room scratching his head trying to figure out who the fuck he was talking to yesterday. gear of course doesnt have their sparkling personality yet and so is too shy/embaressed to go up to kank and remind him that 'hey this is what my face looks like'

·         eventually they do hang out again though

·         and the same thing happens

·         kank gets fed up and brings in his face makeup and like draws reminders on gears face

·         gear is fine with it, just wandering around all day with purple paint on their face

·         except ppl keep making fun of them so kank wears the paint as well as like a solidarity thing

·         of course gear finds his own look at the end of their academy days but kank carries on wearing the paint from then on(also gear used to be the kind of person who cried really easily and the paint showed it ALL up. they weren't too keen on walking around with tear tracks and smudges on their face, so mullet it is lol)

·         sad idea

·         gear is kankuro's first and best friend

·         sure, kankuro has other friends, but no real Friends outside of his fam later on, bc when he was smaller every interaction with other kids was coloured by him being related to the Sand Demon

·         kids didn't want to be friends with him bc they were scared for their lives (and kank threw himself into his puppet making for something to do bc puppets werent to emotionally fickle as kids)

·         so he latched onto gear and they became integral parts of their lives without even realising it

·         one day, gear leaves on a mission. they dont come back. they're declared MIA

·         it varies between villages but generally its one-two months before a MIA ninja is declared KIA

·         kank isnt worried about gear. gear is a tough dude, they'll come back.

·         a week passes and kank isnt worried

·         two weeks passes, and he's getting twitchy, spending more and more time hunched up in his studio, tinkering with his puppets

·         three weeks passes without a sign from gear, and he's wrecked seven puppet prototypes in senseless death battles and he doesnt want to think about why he's become so snappy and easily frustrated

·         (temari pops in on him every so often, forcing sandwiches and energy drinks on him even as he ignores her, whittling down a wooden ball joint with singular concentration)

·         the fourth week draws to a close and kank is visiting the mission room every day, lingering inside the doorway, scaring returning genin teams with his impatient aura. he's making trips around the hospitals in case they had an unidentified body turned in (he knows gear by their scars even if their face just wont stick)

·         saturday rolls around and kankuro is dragging himself down to the morgues, the crematoriums, clamping down on the threatening waves of despair - he asks by name, by description, by the rate of decay on any bodies returned by scavenging teams sent out across the sandy oceans

·         there is no sign of gear, not a peep as the fourth week draws to a close, the deadline for Suna mia operatives

·         he goes to the records office to bear witness as they change the status on gear's paperwork, and he feels hollow, like karasu as the red ink is drawn through the status box

·         he returns to his house, silent. temari is there, waiting, with a worried furrow between her brows (he thinks he even saw gaara, who was so changed since the chuunin exams, peer at him through his bedroom doorway opened just a crack, that emerald stare assessing, before retreating again)

·         he closes the door to his workshop with a calm firmness, blocking out temari's questions

·         kankuro stares at his puppets, propped up on various stands and in the corners, half assembled carapaces that seemed to mock him with their glassy stares

·         he snaps

·         kankuro thinks this is what gaara must have felt like, pulled under by the whirlwind of emotions as he rampages, trashing models and ripping up drawings and smashing incomplete headless, armless bodies. it feels like there isn't enough destruction to match the hole gear's death has left in his own chest and he only stops when his fist pulls its punch instinctively, barely an inch to karasu's face, those lovingly sanded planes and features carved with years of practice and patience

·         now karasu is left, his friend before, during, after Gear, and he never thought there would be an 'after Gear' - gear was only a chuunin, they didn't leave the village on any dangerous missions, not like the sand siblings

·         kankuro doesnt leave his workshop for three days

·         on the third he comes out, with karasu and gathers his supplies. he leaves for the funeral, to send off his friend

·         when they had visited konoha, he's seen their Memorial to the dead - a great stone slab, with their names carved into it, the oldest names almost worn away with time and touch. suna doesnt have a memorial - the souls of their shinobi are memorialised at the Oasis

·         the spirit oasis lies a few hours run outside of the city of suna, towards the east - once, or so the tales go, the oasis was part of a giant aquaduct that fed the blooming gardens of a wealthy empress, a long time before the establishment of the hidden villages. now, the oasis is a forest of crumbled stone and faceless statues, a giant pair of stone legs, broken at the knee marking the entrance. past there runs a river, mysterious in its crystal clarity - many suna scientists have tried to find the rivers origins and where it disappears to, but it remains one of the sand's greatest mysteries

·         it became known as the spirit oasis by the first kazekage, who saw the electric blue lights bob and weave above the rushing waters at night - he took it as a sign, and saw, from the top of the tallest ruin, the great crater that he would build his village in.

·         it is to the oasis that the suna shinobi go to remember their dead, and to let them go. it is where kankuro went. it is where he ended up kneeling beside the gently gurgling river, amongst the offerings of food and sake left behind from the visits of other shinobi. bells tinkle melodious in the soft winds, accompanied by the flutter of the shimenawa papers. he looked into the water, so clear he could see the mosaic tiles on the bottom of the aqua duct, and tried to imagine the corpse of his friend, buried somewhere under the grains of sand, lost, decaying until only his bones are left, to be collected one day many generations down, or simply to be forgotten until the gods reclaimed their peoples. kankuro imagines gear's spirit, their soul, instead, bobbing along in this river, laughing and dancing in the night, blue, bright, electric

·         "I- Geez, I can't believe you're making me say this, you idiot. I guess, I miss you. It hardly feels like you're gone. It's been, huh, i don't know how long. For me, weeks, since you've died, but I guess it only really hit me some days ago. You- urgh, you really always need to have the last word, don't you, G-"

·         Kankuro froze as the wind moaned. It was the wind, right? He knew the reports from the shinobi who had visited this place - odd sounds like groans and moans of the deceased spirits, and the embittered jounin who simply waved the tales off as the sounds the wind makes as it howls through the archways and pillars of the ruins.

·         he strains his ear for any other sounds and- there, again. It doesn't sound like the wind, he decides. it sounds like a person, a flesh and blood person. he rises to his feet, slowly pulling a kunai silently out of his pouch. he's ready for an attack as he makes his way through the labyrinth of ruins, following the sounds of grunts and pants of pain. he turns a corner and finds his quarry.

·         a fellow suna shinobi, judging by the tattered dull flak vest. brown hair matted to the head with crusted blood, the shinobi is slumped over a large piece of the ceiling that had fallen down centuries ago. as kankuro approaches, the shinobi gestured weakly with their own kunai, dripping blood onto the weeded tiles.

·         "who..." the shinobi rasps out

·         kankuro doesnt have to hear any more than that word - he recognises the voice, knows it because it's been cycling around his head with endless quips and puns and sarcastic riddles over the past few days. it was a voice he didnt think he'd ever hear again, and now that he has-

·         he dropped his kunai with a metallic clutter and swiftly crouched in front of the shinobi, casually brushing away the brandished knife that couldn't have speared a paralysed mouse. slowly, his hands grasped the drooped chin and he straightened the slumped head, so he could look the shinobi in the eyes.

·         they were brown and bruised around the edges. they stared back at kankuro for a moment, almost dead, before a spark of recognition lit up in them, and they crinkled up. the blood-tinted mouth stretched up too, showing a set of battered teeth. one hand come up to tug at kankuro's hair.

·         "...hey kitty. was the service...good?"

·         kankuro laughs and leans forwards, so his forhead touches the other.

·         "you're- you're a fucking idiot. you asshole-"

·         Gear just grins.

·         ………..

·         also i had an idea about gear's family

·         since they're hoity toity ima imagine they're an Old Clan

·         they were maybe friends of the first kazekage, and howsabout they built the water delivery system for the village

·         sooo even though they're not really relevant anymore (especially with the rise of more modern technology etc) they're still trying to regain that 'friendship'/allience whatever they had with the first kazekage

·         they consider themselves one of the village founders bc of their water systems but they're Not Really. basically the family is pretty stuck up and gear's parents are pretty peeved that Gear doesnt care more about his family history/doesnt conduct themselves with dignity

·         Gears parents are snooty plumbers

·         family name = 水瓶座/mizugameza

·         aka Aquarius/water bearer

·         not their original name but they rebranded themselves all fancy like after doing the village plumbing lol

·         gear is actually kind of embarassed about their family's attitude which is well known (and sometimes mocked) around the village

·         they prefer to just be known as Gear minus family name hence Kankuro didn't actually know which family Gear was a part of until quite a bit into their friendship

·         Gear ur a beautiful child I'm glad u were made

·         gear deserves all the happiness

·         the only reason im glad they're not canon is so they're spared the boruto ending

·