#get the handcuffs

[jonny-stims]

putting people on pedestals is a bad idea, by harry du bois

can you imagine

like, obviously, kim knows that harry's idealized the SHIT out of his ex-fiancé. this woman isn't even real in his eyes anymore, kim murmurs to himself when he needs to hear it. that said, there are *moments* when kim catches harry staring, and not just the regular, cataloguing police kind, but the look of someone who has something to gain from the exchange. the look of someone nearly lost in how strong the sauce is, queasy and desperate and kim finds himself exhaling a breathless laugh as he takes harry's lips captive, and harry thinks, lock me the fuck up.

[shima-draws]

Actually yeah it’s insane to me how Luffy carries Law around in Dressrosa and Law just. Lets him. Like he could easily struggle out of Luffy’s grip but nope he goes full boneless and allows Luffy to carry him like a sack of potatoes. And this isn’t a brief thing either Luffy literally lugs him around over the course of like 20 episodes and Law’s so quiet that sometimes I forget he’s even there but then I remember and I’m like OH. MY GOD?? He’s STILL draped over Luffy’s arm like a fucking coat. And it’s so fucking funny when I look over and see him with his hood up hanging over Luffy like this

Like. He’s going through it rn. He’s got zero dignity left in him to care

[artiststarme]

Steve and Eddie have a fight and give each other the silent treatment for eight days. Within the week, Eddie is arrested on a multitude of bullshit charges and Uncle Wayne has to pick him up from the sheriff’s department every other day, each time progressively more confused and exasperated. Who the fuck could get arrested for disturbing the peace four times in the same week and why was it apparently Eddie?

Eddie has no idea what he did to warrant all the arrests and assumes that Officer Callahan is on some sort of weird power-trip for that entire week. He doesn’t notice that it stops as soon as he makes up with Steve.

It’s only when he sees Officer Callahan, Officer Asshole as he lovingly refers to him, at Steve’s Christmas dinner that he discovers that they’re brothers. In hindsight, it makes all of Callahan’s hatred make a lot more sense.

Even after he finds out though, Phil still arrests him for various charges whenever he hears that Eddie pissed off Steve. Disturbing the peace, gross negligence, making Phil’s life harder; all reasons that Eddie has been arrested for but never charged with. And yet, the Munson idiot that Phil’s brother is in love with hasn’t yet learned his lesson. Luckily for him, Phil will keep it up until he does.

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Danny is just a kid ya know? Like he is just a little guy. A baby really. 14? Tiny child! Look at him, he needs to be protected. Someone has to help this poor little dude. I mean he forgets to use his own powers to avoid attacks all the time.

Anyway cut to Batfam not knowing all of Dannys power set cause the lil dingus keeps forgetting he can do that stuff in the heat of battle.

Danny uses his invisibility all the time… to avoid being followed. But in a fight? Oopsies hes too busy thinking of funny one liners to realise he could do that.

Intangibility? Give the guy a break. I mean who calls themselves condiment king. Even he was stunned.

He so rarely actually uses his biggest advantage powers that the League doubt he actually has them. He, like any naive child, trusts them and reported fully on his power set. Instead of just asking him to demonstrate his powers they instead start watching him and try to find evidence of his powers.

At least they know duplication was true since they watched him make a copy of himself to go to the bathroom and not miss any of his fav tv show.

[lpn3rd]

[stormz369]

☕💖 Can I Get Your Number? ☕💖 Ch 8

Jason Todd x (f)Chubby!Reader

written with a female reader in mind, first person pov, no use of Y/N, will probably get NSFW later, let me know if there's anything else I should tag this with!

warnings: drinking, and some vaguely sexual implications

wc: 2.2k

Chapter Selection

Jason was a fitful sleeper. I woke up hours into the night to him grasping my waist firmly, shaking and whimpering. His muscles were so tense, like he was fighting for his life in his dreams, it seemed a miracle he was still asleep at all. I groggily turned to face him, sliding my fingers through his hair. He quieted down a bit, so I kept it up, eventually pulling him closer. It was nice, being the one with my arms wrapped around his shoulders for a change. Slowly, he settled in, snuggling into my chest, and I dozed off again. In the morning we were fully wrapped around each other, his face pressed firmly against my shoulder.

Jace awkwardly disentangled his limbs from mine, sitting up slowly. “... G'morning…” I inhaled sharply; his quiet, husky morning voice was sending shivers down my spine. 

“... Morning~ … Pancakes, or waffles?”

He smiled a little, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “... Mhh … why don't you let me take care of that, princess?”

“You did the majority of the cooking last night though.”

“Yeah, but I like to cook for you~” he sat up, kissing my forehead; “you just lay back, let me take care’a you~ Ok?”

I sighed happily and nodded. “Ok, if you insist~”

He crawled out of the fort, and I looked over at the tiny boy on the other side of the makeshift bed. He was pretty adorable like this; he had a sweet, peaceful expression on his face which, since I had only seen various frowns and glares from him, I guessed was pretty uncommon when he was awake. The sounds of Jay cooking drifted in from the kitchen, and eventually Damian woke up. He glared a bit when he saw me.

“... Why are you staring at me?”

“Not staring, just looking in your direction.”

“Well stop.” He sat up abruptly, grabbing his backpack from behind him, just holding it in his lap.

“... You ok, kiddo?” I popped my back, looking away.

He snapped; “I'm not your kiddo.”

“Be nice, demon brat!” Jay called from the kitchen.

Damian rolled his eyes. “... I'm fine.”

I nodded, stretching more. “Nothing bothering you at school?”

“... No.” He frowned, pulling the backpack closer.

“Alright. If you ever wanna talk though, I know how to keep a secret. No judgment, promise.”

He frowned up at me; “Considering how easy it is to break in to your apartment, I highly doubt you could keep anything secure for long.”

I rolled my eyes, chuckling softly, and crawled out of the fort, going to change into new clothes. When I returned, Damian had already started disassembling the fort, and the couch cushions were back in place.

“Father wants you to come with us when Todd brings me home.” Damian looked over at me.

“Oh … ok, I … yeah, I can do that.” I frowned, a bit nervous. I truly thought that making Damian go home last night would have been the wrong move, and I still didn’t know what had brought him here, but what if I'd overstepped? What if Mr. Wayne was upset with me? What if he was expecting me to tell him why Damian came in the first place?

Jason stroked my back gently, offering me a plate. “You don't have to if you don't want to.”

“Of course, if she doesn't Father will probably just show up at that crummy little diner again.” Damian stared us down.

Wayne Manor was even more intimidating than I expected. Jay insisted that anyone at the house would be in casual clothes, but I felt so schlubby on the drive up; I wished I'd put on something nicer than just a t-shirt and jeans … Damian hopped out of the car before Jason even parked, much to my chagrin.

“... I thought you said everyone would be in casual clothes?” I eyed the gentleman who opened the door for Damian; he was wearing a suit.

“Hm? … Oh, that’s Alfred. … I don't think he owns casual clothes. Don't worry, everyone else will be in sweats, jeans, and t-shirts.” He slid some hair out of my face, smiling a little; “ready?”

I nodded, kissing his palm before he pulled away, and we got out. Immediately, a blonde girl jumped out of a nearby tree and ran over to us. “Do my eyes deceive me, or is that Jason Todd? No, it can't be. Cause Jason Todd said he was never, not ever, no way in hell bringing his new girlfriend home to meet everyone. He said we’d scare her! This must be a mirage. Maybe I'm dehydrated! That's it!”

“Don't sass me, woman!” He playfully punched her shoulder, but couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face. “There’s still time for us to make a dramatic escape.”

She giggled and grabbed my hand; “I’m Stephanie! Come on, I’ll introduce you to the rest of the family!”

Before either of us could protest, Steph was dragging me along for formal introductions with everyone in the house. Dick, Tim, and Damian I had met of course, but Cass, Babs, and Duke were also at the manor today. I had known Jason had a lot of adopted siblings, but meeting them all at once like this was a bit overwhelming. Fortunately, Cass and Babs had the good sense to give us a bit of space while the boys threw out questions - several of which resulted in Jason demanding they mind their business. 

Bruce shook my hand firmly when Stephanie dragged me over, a gentle smile on his face. “Tell me the truth now; how was Damian?”

I could feel the boy's eyes suddenly boring into my soul from the other side of the room. “We had a great night; he's a very sweet kid!”

He blinked a bit. “... Sweet? … I'll be honest, that's not typically how people describe him to me…” he turned to face his son, an amused grin on his face. “You were sweet?”

Damian frowned deeply; “... Well, we knew there was something wrong with her; she's dating Todd.”

Tim laughed at that; “are you sure you don't mean ‘strange’? Or maybe ‘spooky’? It's ok to say it, we all know.”

I chuckled; “no, I said what I meant; sweet. You just can't let the stern expression dissuade you.”

“Please let the stern expression dissuade you.” Damian frowned more, swatting at Dick, who had started cooing at him.

“That go for me too, Dami?” A boy around Damian’s height entered the room, flashing a 1000 kilowatt smile toward the boy. I had to bite my lip to stop from grinning at the emotional whiplash that crossed over Damian’s face; shock, followed immediately by the tiniest smile, and back to grumpy.

“Jon! … What are you doing here?” Jon ran over and pulled Damian into a quick hug, which he awkwardly allowed for a full three seconds before he leaned away. 

“Uncle Bruce invited me over for game night!” The cheerful boy grinned. Damian looked over at his father, a questioning look in his eyes.

Bruce looked a bit awkward and shrugged; “I thought you’d be happy to see Jon…?”

Damian nodded once. “Of course I am.”

Jon beamed at that, grabbing Damian’s wrist and pulling him away. Damian, for his part, seemed less resistant to Jon’s affections than he had been with anyone else I’d seen him interact with, which was quite adorable. Dick obviously thought so too, if his expression was anything to go off of.

“... So … is Jon his cousin then?”

Tim and Dick snorted at my question; “cousin?”

I nodded slowly; “yeah, cousin? … Cause he called Mr. Wayne ‘Uncle Bruce’?”

Jason shook his head, smiling a little; “Nah, the Kents are just friends of the family.”

“And what did I say about calling me Mr. Wayne?” Bruce fixed me with a mock-stern expression.

“Right, sorry!” I felt my face heat up a bit.

Steph laughed; “you two are staying for game night, right?”

“Oh, … Um …” I turned toward Jason for the answer, but before he could respond Dick wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

“Of course they are! She hasn’t even had the full tour yet!”

Hours later, we were all sitting around a table in a living room. Bruce had long since bid us a good night, having only stayed for a few card games, and Dick had brought out bottles of whiskey.

“Alright, go to bed, littles!” He grinned, pouring shots; “the name of the game is ‘never have I ever’!”

Jon frowned a bit. “It’s barely 9! Even my parents don’t make us go to bed this early, and my dad grew up on a farm!”

“Too bad, short stack! Drinking games are for adults only!” Steph began pouring shots as well.

“Is there lemon juice?” Babs smirked a bit.

“... In the kitchen … Why?” Jason raised an eyebrow.

“They could do shots of lemon juice, if they really want to play. But we won’t be going easy on you, boys.”

Jon grinned and pulled Damian to the kitchen, calling for Alfred. When they returned, Jon poured two shots of lemon juice, setting one in front of Damian. 

Tim smirked a bit, getting my attention; “as our guest, you get to go first.”

“... Really gonna put me on the spot like that? … Ok, ummmm … Never have I ever …” I had no idea what to say. I didn’t want to pick something too easy, but I also didn’t know these people very well yet. A dozen options flashed through my mind at once, all of them I quickly dismissed as dumb, until… “.... Never have I ever … run a background check on a sibling’s new girlfriend.”

The dismayed look on his face made me smirk. He, Dick, and Babs all downed a shot. “... I’m never gonna live that down, am I?”

“Probably not.” I giggled. Jason snorted, elbowing me playfully.

That kicked off a wave of prompts that were clearly aimed at making Tim drink. Never have I ever had more than five coffees in an hour, gone three days without sleeping, been kidnapped by the same group twice in a row, lost my spleen. The game continued with waves of prompts aimed at a particular person, with the occasional ‘normal’ ones peppered in.

Never have I ever snuck into an R rated movie. Kissed an ex. Given or received a lap dance. Been in a plane. Been mugged by the same villain more than once. Failed a class. Been caught sneaking out. Sent an embarrassing selfie to the wrong person. Stolen from a corner store. Hidden a pet from a parent. 

“Alright, lightning round! First person to make everyone drink wins the whole game!” Steph grinned.

Never have I ever been in a bank when it was being robbed. Burned toast. Received weird mental health advice from Harley Quinn. Been at an event that made the news. Eaten caviar. Shot a gun.

“.... Never have I ever … been in handcuffs?” Jon looked around. I downed a shot, setting my glass down, and looked around, blinking a bit. Everyone’s hands were on empty glasses.

“.... Well that’s not concerning in the slightest.” I giggled, feeling a bit tipsy at this point.

Damian raised an eyebrow, looking me over. “... I find it very difficult to believe you’ve been arrested before.”

I smirked a bit, turning to him. “... Jon didn’t say ‘arrested’; he said handcuffs.”

Chaos erupted; Babs, Steph, Tim, and Duke were wheezing. Dick was groaning loudly, covering his ears and shouting; “I didn’t need to know that!!!” Jason’s face was in his hands, mumbling; “oh my god…” Cass held her arm out to me for a fist bump, smirking at the chaos. And Damian just blinked a few times, watching us all.

“... Do I … want to know?”

“NO!” Six voices shouted at once.

Jon jumped, chuckling a bit. “... So … I win?”

Unknown Number: Thank you for not telling my father I broke into your apartment. 

10:05pm

Me: … Damian, I take it?

10:06pm

Unknown Number: Nothing gets past you.

10:07pm

Unknown Number: … I apologize, that was rude. 

10:09pm

Me: … Not terribly? … I’m guessing you got my phone number from Tim’s background check as well?

10:10pm

Damian: That’s what I thought, but Jon is insisting it was. Yes, the background check was quite thorough.

10:11pm

Me: Makes sense. … So, did you change your mind about wanting to talk? Cause the offer stands; no judgment, and it’ll stay between us.

10:13pm

Damian: No, Jon just thought I should thank you. … Father would have been highly displeased with me, if you’d told him what I did.

10:25pm

Me: Gotcha. Yeah, no worries. Just don’t do it again, ok? You’ve got my phone number - you can always text if you want to come over.

10:26pm

Damian: Understood.

10:29pm

Me: Alright, good night kiddo!

10:30pm

Damian: Do not misunderstand; my gratitude does not change anything. I am still not your kiddo. I am Damian, that is what you should call me.

10:31pm

Me: Right, sorry! Good night, Damian.

10:32pm

Next ->

Divider by: @saradika-graphics

Taglist (open):

@jawdropforkpop @krys0210 @snowy-violet @superthoughts @wordsfromshona @mystic60 @iwannabealocalcryptid @morstuavitamea-a @frosty--giants

[liontamarin]

i love you times infinity, plus one

[jinxquickfoot]

Me writing original fiction: this is my reflection on humanity’s preoccupation with good and evil in a well-paced narrative structure

Me writing Fanfiction: ok but what if I put spikes in his handcuffs 😈

[pinacoladamatata]

the bed in Hancock's room should have been fixed. Fahrenheit should have her own room instead of falling asleep standing on the couch. hancock would have given the drifters better quarters/food, games etc up in his attic. there should be about 420% more chems in that state house. in this essay i will-

Link to mod on Nexus

[dorkfruit]

so what would an angel say, the devil wants to know ...

... and i need to be redeemed to the one i've sinned against,

cause she's all i knew of love .

+ a few bonus sketches based off the music video

anyways i tried to paint again which was hard but i rly wanted to at least attempt the lighting scheme going on from the music video (hit song Criminal by Fiona Apple). the song + music video is soooo tridentarii core to me

[feroluce]

So I'm well aware this is probably a case of "it isn't that deep" but I love looking at all the fiddly little accessories and bits and bobs of Hoyo designs and trying to justify them. Sampo's is particularly funny, because. What even is all that dkkxjdkd

His outfit has so many straps wrapped around him, like they're restraining or holding something in to keep it from bursting at the seams, and not all of them look like they're even connected to anything! But I'd like to think they are useful in certain situations, like if Sampo takes a hit out in the Fragmentum from one of the monsters.

He's hurt, his arm is bleeding, but he is ALMOST done, he just needs a couple more things to fulfill his quota to Natasha and he doesn't want to turn around and go back now. So Sampo frees a strap from his shirt, winds it around his arm above the cut, pulls it tight with his free hand and his teeth. He'll treat it properly in a minute, once he's done scavenging.

There's also the strange chains that resemble snake spines. Given how they're way longer in his splash art and the way they wind around-

I'd like to think they can extend somehow, and Sampo can use them to scale heights. Firefly clocks him as a covert fighter without even being within 20 feet of him, so it would make sense for Sampo to have ways to get around that don't involve usual/obvious methods, like stairs. Think assassin skill sets.

He's also the only one known to be able to get between the Underground and the overworld, and while he's pretty tight-lipped about his method, having some sort of device to help traverse vertical heights is probably insanely helpful there.

And the little metal ornaments across the backs of his wrists! You can see it a bit better in his reference sheet (everyone say thanks @/dragaliareferencearchive!) as opposed to his splash art-

they aren't flat, they stick up a bit off his arms. And so I wonder if Gepard has ever gone to arrest Sampo, and found that they interfere with his handcuffs haha

The ornaments don't match, the one on his right wrist is actually shorter and doesn't extend down to the back of his hand. Which probably doesn't make it nearly as annoying for handcuffs as the left one, but it would make sense for Sampo to have them like that, since he seems to be right-handed! I think a certain proficiency in being ambidextrous is necessary to dual wield daggers like he does, but. Sampo uses his right hand to

hold his blade in his splash art

throw his blade in his skill

play/show off with his dagger in his idle

lob smoke bombs in his technique

cross over his heart when he bows

and to flip his bangs during the cutscene where he saves the trailblazers from Bronya

So a shorter guard on his right hand would help him keep his wrist's flexibility to be able to do all that unimpeded (loving the thought now that Sampo is naturally right-handed and still better with it, but he practiced constantly with his left until he could do things passably ambidextrous).

I also love them because I wonder if they're in the perfect place to help block a hit, along with the chain wrapped around his left forearm.

Like I love the image of a hired killer soundlessly sneaking up behind Sampo in some shady dark alley, knife sloooooowly raising, and then all at once, they strike!

And instead of feeling the blade sink into his back, they get the unpleasant resonating of metal-on-metal shivering up their arm and rattling their bones, because Sampo has turned around at the last second and raised his crossed his arms to let the knife glance off the guards on his wrists.

And the mercenary is left to realize that oh, they are fucked.

[vani-ash]

Sunshine in 'Ride Or Die' Music Video

[deadsouls-is-canon]

Majima says no kinkshaming! Yes king 👑

[tenderjock]

What's happening? I don't know, but it's happening to a whole lot of grownups. They're acting like a bunch - They're acting like a bunch of us. I don't act like this!

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER S03E06 "BAND CANDY"

[idkleer]

New hot date idea: breaking your situationship out of jail

[godsworstson]

bounty hunter