#get that shit out of me i truly dont want to give birth

[crunchycrystals]

if we get a group hysterectomy will they hypothetically charge us less

[daenysthedreamer101]

HOTD S1 Rewatch

Ep 6 - The Princess and the Queen

Omg I love my Queen so much! Look at her smile 😔

First of all... How TF did Alicent find out so quickly that Nyra gave birth?

Mere seconds after pushing Joffrey out Nyra is told that Alicent wants to see him

At 2:38 she pushes him out. At 3:20 she's told by a maid that A wants to see the baby... Like.... How??

You can see only from a couple of minutes that Nyra already loves her baby boy! 😭😭😭

A is sooo evil for doing that to Nyra! Oh you're going to the Seven Hells for that!

Laenor is so confused but he's got good intentions lol

When he says 'I thought we were past this' it implies A did this with Jace and Luke as well...

The way Nyra is struggling to get up those stairs...Alicent I am in your walls!

Also I don't understand her saying 'you may get one who looks like you' like this baby isn't three minutes old!

I mean I know why she said it but damn, let him develop some features!

HARWIN THE MAN YOU ARE! 😫

Baby Vermax is so cute!

DRACARYS! Poor goat though

It's so obvious that Aegon was the one behind the Pink Dread. Alicent blames Nyra's boys but like Luke is like 5 maybe and Jace 7/8. Your son is the oldest one so shouldn't he know better than to bully his own brother.. Oh that's right he doesn't because you let him bully his brother.. And you call yourself a mother 🙄

DREAMFYRE! THE OG MOTHER OF DRAGONS!

Helaena my little cutie pie... You deserve a better mother btw

'Your obsession with those beasts goes beyond understanding'

He's a Targaryen and his brother bullies him for the fact that he doesn't have one, ofc he wants a dragon, Alicent, pls just say you dont understand anything about the House you married into and leave

'It's a wonder to me their eggs ever hatched' Why? Their mother is a Targaryen....? So what is your point exactly? Oh she's such a bitch I can't stand her!

Like. Your kids are half Targaryen. Nyra's kids are half Targaryen. Also all of Nyra'a kids had their dragons hatch to them.

None of Alicent's did. They all had to claim dragons. Which there's nothing wrong with that it's just why are you talking such bs?

God I wish they kept Rhaenys's hair black. That way you could have plausible deniability for why Nyra's kids have dark hair, smh.

'I have to believe that in the end honor and decency will prevail'. Literally three seconds ago you were talking shit about her out in the open halls... Right, decency, sure...

Alicent yelling at her son and getting in his face - someone give her mother of the year award...

Caraxes and Vhagar having a cute little dance in the sky, oh the foreshadowing 🙃

CRISTON COLE YOU PETTY IDIOT! HARWIN SHOULD'VE SMASHED YOUR FACE THE WAY YOU DID TO JOFFREY!

Harwin, you're so sexy, if only you lived longer 😔😔

Omg Jace's little face, he's so cute little baby 😭

Why is Criston soo agressive? He's manhandling a litteral child? Like bsffr 🙄

The way Harwin holds Jace's face and encourages him - I'm fine.. I'm fine 🙂🙂

'You forget yourself Ser that is the Prince' as if you weren't encouraging Aegon to attack and harm Jace, who's also a Prince and in line for the throne... Right

I know Harwin punching Clumbo in the face was not a good move politically but he was sooo hot doing that ughh😫 I need to stop

Nyra has such a sweet relationship with her maids. You can see they genuinely care for her😭

We stan Elinda Massey in this house!

The way Nyra was looking up at Laenor as he drunkenly talks about the Triarchy, bye! 💀

The way Daemon smiled at Laena when she walked to sit beside him ughh he loved her I know he did!

Alicent pointing out Nyra's milk leaking was such a bitchy move! 🙄

Viserys I need you to grow a spine, you are the King not Alicent. If he said so Helaena would've married Jace and Alicent couldn't do shit about it.

Larys is such a slimy shady rat I hate just seeing him on my screen!

Laena, bestie, you truly died a dragonrider's death! RIP you were a true girlboss 😔

Vhagar hesitating to burn Laena ughhh my feels!

Harwin saying goodbye to the boys and Nyra holding back tears.... Ughh my heart!

I don't even wanna talk about Harwin dying... You're telling me a man called Breakbones couldn't break a door. I call bs on that.

He's alive and well he's alive and well he's-

I'm fine fine fine fine I'm fine 🙃🙃

[lonecorner]

Claude rant (ft. a Jennette rant in the end)

[ i posted this comment on one of the fan translation sites but i feel the need to do these 2 characters justice by posting it here as well. ]

Tiktok has pretty much made Claude into such a one dimensional character, putting him under the label as just a 'terrible father that did a lot of horrible shit to his daughter' like DUH, he's terrible sure, and but he has LAYERS. Readers forget that Claude suffered a lot from his own childhood and familial relationships, a weak and slowly dying mother, a father that probably only saw him as a spare, a brother he truly thought cared about him, only to end up betraying him, a fiance that never really loved him and even cheated on him with his brother, and finally- Diana. The one person that made him feel loved and made him LOVE, and suddenly she DIES because of an offspring that had such great mana that it killed diana, mana that she got because of HIM. OF COURSE HE'S GONNA BE SUPER FUCKING TERRIBLE, no one ever communicated with him, any sight of happiness always ended up being a bigger downfall than the other, Felix is probably the only balm to soothe his terrible relationships, and even then, Claude and felix still have tension between them because of the power imbalance as a knight and the EMPEROR. SO HOW TF DO U THINK, a child brought up in such a state of miscommunication, one-sided relatonships, political turmoil, relationships that hang on by a fucking thread, and not ONE person to guide him into being open about his own feelings and dealing with his trust issues??? OF FUCKING COURSE HE'S A BAD DAD, BUT HE'S A BAD DAD FOR A REASON, AN ACTUAL REALISTIC REASON. SURE HE DID A LOT OF BAD SHIT AND U CAN THINK HE'S A BASTARD ALL YOU WANT, BUT STOP FUCKING MINIMIZING HIS ENTIRE CHARACTER AS TO JUST BEING A 'HORRIBLE FATHER', he's so much more than that! he has nuance! he's go development! he's got LORE, lore that CAUSES him to be terrible and so emotionally constipated. DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW YALL HATE ON JENNETTE SO BAD, IF U WANNA HATE JENNETTE SO BAD, GO HATE NOVEL JENETTE, MANHWA JENNETTE IS JUST A NAIVE CHILD THAT WAS SHELTERED, AND USED IN EVERY CONCIEVABLE WAY BY THE ADULTS AROUND HER (The duke using her as a card to help the ducal household, claude during his amnesia arc only using her as a tranquilizer and couldn't careless about her as a person, her own father for literally CREATING her) she was literally MADE to be used, she wasn't born out of love and yet she has so much love to give, AND ISN'T THAT SO FASCINATING? WHY DON'T PEOPLE TALK ABOUT HOW GREAT OF AN EXISTENCE JENNETTE IS WHEN HER ENTIRE PERSONALITY IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF HER BIRTH 'PARENTS' AND THE ENTIRE CIRCUMSTANCE OF HER CREATION, DESPITE HER BEING USED OVER AND OVER AGAIN, SHE REMAIND OPTIMISTIC AND NICE, ITS NAIVE OF HER TO DO THAT BUT THINK OF HOW STRONG HER WILL AND MENTAL SOLITUDE IS, SHE REMAINS GOOD EVEN WHEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO HER, SOLELY BECAUSE SHE IS GOOD, SHE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO BE BAD BUT SHE REMAINS GOOD WHY DONT YALL TALK ABOUT HOW GREAT THESE 2 CHARACTERS ARE AND THEIR DEVELOPMENT? WHY DO YALL KEEP GIVING THEM LABELS THAT DONT COMPLETELY ENCOMPASS THEIR ACTUAL CHARACTER

[konnoiseur]

I see from your previous post that you probably don’t have a very high opinion of Raven and Taiyang. Could I tease those thoughts out? Thoughts on Phoenix and what their pre-canon relationship could’ve looked like?

I ask because it’s my obsession right now, but by all means go to town if you’ve got something scathing to say.

oh man. tai and raven.

i mean okay let me just start point blank with i dont care about team strq. i truly do not care.

-summer up until v9 has had approximately No Importance to the story beyond tropey dead parent backstory. and now shes a liar who (unintentionally) framed ozpin, and favored her birth daughter over yang (at least in my eyes by virtue of leaving her emblem to ruby and nothing to yang)

-raven was never all that interesting to me back in the day beyond a cool design that seemed like a genderbent adam tbh and then when we did get to know her she was genuinely someone i wondered if the writers were TRYING to make her stupid on purpose. and NOW shes a massive fucking hypocrite who ALSO framed ozpin and she and summer heavily contributed to the reason the mains didnt trust ozpin which spiraled into them not trusting ironwood and well we saw where that went

-qrow was easily and obviously the best due to being the only one that actually mattered but theyve sanded off his flaws and uniqueness over time to where i kinda hope he gets killed off soon bc i cant stand to see him either get with robyn or get the shiro voltron treatment where he gets with some no name guy to appease fair game shippers.

-and tai... hes point blank a terrible parent, to where qrow "i was raised by bandits and have a bad luck semblance and crippling alcoholism" had to be the dad that stepped up. hes not a good teacher, he seemingly didnt give a shit about ruby, a teenager, trekking across the world with only other teenagers he didnt know despite knowing that a) his first lover was in mistral and kills huntsmen and b) his second lover was presumably killed for her silver eyes, the trait ruby shares, he apparently never talked with yang about her semblance despite being their teacher at signal and it took her maiming another student on live television and her nearly dying in a terrorist attack to actually talk to her? he sucks lol

like i know ppl want team strq backstory and while i would prefer that over the fucking justice league crossover, i simply do not care at this point

ALL THAT TO SAY. raven and tai and summers dynamic is Weird to me? like he moved on from raven So Fast and ravens motivations are so stupid i cant. she says "the tribe is our family" and then we see the 'tribe' and its literally like a gang of criminals that live in tents and steal and murder people. they never show us anything that makes me understand why raven would want to go back to them? even if theyre ""family"" theyre shitty??? idk

i would love to hear what YOUR feelings are though ! maybe you can illuminate something i cant see haha

[moku-and-his-madness]

um...a vent under cut....

tw drug mention tw self harm tw trauma tw rape

ive most likely mentioned this before...or ive forgotten...like i always fucking do. but im pissed off about something.

it may seem selfish of me....even a bit ignorant or greedy....but ive always wondered why i never developed DID. i know its not very enjoyable. i know what happens to people with it, how they get it, why its horrible.

but ive wondered why i never had it. why i couldnt have it. ive wanted so many times not to physically be somewhere, to just, be gone and let something else or someone deal with that pain. and im not saying this in a way where id use it for some stupid cliche personal gain.

im saying it in a way i wish i could escape situations i shouldnt have seen. to not see my birth mum pumping herself with drugs of all sorts and land ourselves in a ravine to be saved by paramedics. to avoid every beating from my father when i was 'misbehaving' and not being the proper child he couldnt raise. to have someone there instead of me just talking to myself when my dad left me at home alone for days or even a week at a time just so he could fucking make a buck.

so i dont have to remember being raped by some kids of my dads girlfriend because i always have to be preyed upon, weak, im always being used for the wrong reasons.

i wanted something to be there, in the back of my mind, to talk to me, to ease that pain. and i know i dont cut as much as others do, but i have harmed myself, burned myself, and then i get pissed at the scars like there's something i can do.

im breaking and im broken, but its not enough. i just fucking recently discovered that my father was lying to me for years about my mums death, that she never passed in jail. she hung herself, and it hurts because if my dad wasnt the jackass he is i could have had a mum with me by my side. for all the years i had to deal with his shitty whores for girlfriends, them countlessly trying to be what they couldnt even try to be, fucking broke me.

but i didnt cry.....i didnt shutdown.....i dont want to do this anymore. i dont wanna be able to smile and feign happiness. i dont wanna be able to repsond to the questions and are you okays as if the questions will heal the deep scars i hold.

and i cant just fucking up and tell my 'therapist' because the most she thinks i deal with is whos fighting at lunch or whos breaking up with who in the shitty friendgroup where i only have 3 actual mates out of 14 who fucking give a shit about me.

if i told her anything i fret she'd send me to the madhouse because the occassional time i fuck up and slip and tell her how i truly am fucked on the inside she looks at me like im harmfull, like she doesnt know what to do with me.

and its that fucking look, when people see who truly mad and insane i am, that makes me want to rip the skin from my limbs, tear the flesh from my bones because im truly ashamed to be myself. i hate myself.

i just wish things could fucking be different.

[etherbonded]

self-indulgent drabble time

GENERAL CONTENT: Familial Trauma and Issues ( i don't know how to exactly tag it beyond that but just know to proceed with caution bc this is definitely not a light drabble in the slightest. )

" I miss when you ere a child and when you still loved me. " Are the words Homura, her mother, utters that causes Himari to finally crack after years. She hadn't talked to her mother in so long, she thought things could change but... of course she was wrong. Her mother is still blind.

" What child? From what I remember I was practically raising and taking care of myself when I was 7. I was the one always making sure you were okay after that man yelled and verbally berated you. I always took care of you and put myself aside. " It's curt, and Himari knows how sour this conversation is going to go now. For she knows how this story ends, because she's gone through this far too many times.

" Himari I did the best I could to raise you, I was always there for you. I don't know why- "

" You don't know why? Why I don't love you anymore? Why I cut you out of my life? That's a simple answer Homura. I don't love you anymore because you never loved me like I deserved to be. You were willing to throw me out the moment you found out I made such a similar mistake to YOURS until you found out I was going to marry the father. No mother that loves their kid would put them through or even think to put them through the same pain you went through! A MOTHER THAT LOVES HER CHILD DOES NOT MAKE HER CHILD BELIEVE THAT SHE NEEDS TO USE HER LOOKS TO GET LOVE! " Himari's far from done but her mother is just about to get started too.

" It's not MY fault you weren't smart enough to realize to not make the same mistakes I did! And it's not my fault that all people ever truly want out of a person they love is their body and their looks! True love is a bunch of bullshit Himari, it's fairytale shit I never taught you because you needed to realize how the world worked before it hurt you! But it's clear I failed you there. I was simply ready to show you there are consequences for your mistakes! God, you're SO dramatic, I can't believe you're the daughter I gave birth to. I thought you'd at least have a good head on your shoulders. " Homura is full of pain and bitterness... after everything she's done... this is how she's repaid by her daughter? For toughening her daughter up for the world? " You're doing just fine in life with everything you 'claim' I've done. I've made you tougher, I taught you how to survive. "

That's it, that's what makes Himari crack underneath it all. " You think I'm doing fine? Just because I'm tougher and can handle it I'm FINE? You don't know SHIT about me Homura. I may seem fine on the outside but I'm far from. I'm better, but I will never heal from the bullshit you and him put me through. You may have taught me how to survive, sure, I'll give you that much. " Himari's not going to take this shit, she's tired of this. She can't deal with this anymore so she stands up and proceeds to head to the door. Only to hear the words,

" DONT YOU DARE WALK AWAY FROM YOUR MOTHER! "

As her fingers grasp on the door handle, she turns her head over her shoulder with a laugh and a cold smile towards her mother. "I have no mother. "

[manie-sans-delire-x]

I think you're decontextualizing too much and talking from a privileged point of view. I'm not arguing with the objectivity of what your point is, but it's a very bland flat hill to die on, in my opinion. People can totally agree to disagree, but the whole "good luck living this way" or "it's never gonna happen" is nothing but a shrugging off problems just because they don't belong to you.

Of course trans folks have deeper issues, we've been fighting in a society that, by default, does not accept us and we're forced to explain our very existence on a daily (or whoever cares to, to be honest I dropped that one ball there). So that's why it's important to make people who are coming from said privileged spots (mind, I'm not using the word "privileged" to hop on a high horse and offend anyone) understand how some things are very easy adjustments to make to accommodate minorities. And you don't really need to know/profoundly understand /why/ it's important for them, you can simply trust it is if they say so.

It's like saying "why would I use City money to build a stupid ramp when wheelchair users can struggle a little and learn to climb a 3 inches step" or "why would I stop staring at that person's ass if it's out and it's natural for me to look at it" because you want to be better and it's not that deep.

Yet again, agree to disagree if adding "assigned at birth" is such an inconvenience. No one is word obsessed, but personally speaking I'll bend the usage of my language as much as I can to make sure everyone around me is comfortable and feels safe, I don't care and need to know why.

How am I decontextualizing or talking from a privileged point of view? I mean I suppose I am in that I am not trans? I'll give you that.

Why is my point of view a bland hill to die on but insisting on changing female/male to afab/amab isnt?

No I just truly believe and came to the realistic conclusion it will never happen, not in any of our lifetimes at least. Do you really expect that this is going to become the new normal, in every country and culture? Seriously?

Yeah damn straight Im shrugging it off, I cant help people who are determined to be unhappy over word choice. Its not my problem, as you said. Everyone elses life will go on as normal, only they will be stuck on this and being unhappy, only hurting themselves.

Changing a language is not "very easy adjustment", not at all. I mean clearly, or else all this fighting wouldnt be happening right? And ok, say English changes. What, now every other language in the world has to change? Oh boy, thats going to lead to a lot of confusion and fighting. Sounds kinda problematic too, to insist other cultures and countries have to change their languages to match the more enlightened English. Colonist vibes.

Lets have realistically attainable goals. Lets focus on what really matters- like violent hate crimes against transpeople. People who are sooo passionate about political correctness and word choice should maybe, idk, do something real to help. Volunteer or work to help transpeople. But see they dont actually care about transpeople, they just get off on the self righteousness and false sense of moral superiority.

Its not about understanding why its important to them, I understand that it is. But unfortunately, reality doesnt give a shit about peoples emotions or whats important to them. (and clearly its not ok to disagree, because then you get labeled as a terf or whatever else new acronym...)

If you want to compare it to that, its more like if people in wheelchairs insisted that all stairs should be banned- ramps only- and you cant call them disabled anymore, everyone else is un-disabled. Society will never build itself around to a minority population, and shouldnt because it makes no sense.

Its not about "doing better" or peoples feelings. This is the main difference in thought process I think- some people view it as a moral social issue, some people view it as a issue of reality and logic.

What is a female? What is a male? A woman? A man? Whats the differences between them? Whats the difference between sex and gender? Are trans people actually transsexual or transgender? Is it even possible to be transsexual since you will never have the desired sex's gametes? Can someone be a female man or a male woman? At some point we need some god damn definitions. We cant just make words mean whatever we want them to.

Why not just have females, males, and transfemales and transmales?? Men, women, transmen, transwomen. That makes way more sense. Why would the majority and a whole ass language change to fit the minority? And even with the use of "cis", "trans" is still in use so attaching "cis" is pretty redundant either way!

[bhvr]

maybe im just typing this because i feelfucking crazy and like shit rn but i think, whether it was intentional or not, who made me a princess is a story about family and loss and grief and bonds and that always came before romance and thats why i get pissed off when people complain about lucathy not having a bigger role/a lack of Ijekiel Second ML Romance Bait. its not a romance manhwa. it has a subplot with “will they wont they” romance but it is pushed to the background FOR THE BETTER more under the cut

and sure! maybe its the delusional in me talking! but i truly think each character is a very layered and complex person, as are the relationships within the story. ‘what do we owe to each other?’ is a question thats been asked forever, but what do we owe to family? how deep do familial bonds, both blood and water, go? how long can we hold onto the past and refuse to move forward?

claude had a terrible childhood, even from birth being given the name the one who limps, never treated as a prince or an equal or anything worth anything. his older brother, the one who protected him and treated him kindly and helped him when he was sick, turns out him and he doesn’t know why. at this point in time claude is a child who is losing the very little support he has: his brother, and at some point his mother. he has felix and thats it. and athanasia (and others) find it so notable that when it comes to claude, he feels like someone you should tiptoe around. someone you have to be careful with because you dont want to get killed for pissing him off. oh, and theres felix, who says shit all the time and even speaks without thinking around claude (and remains supposedly oblivious at times when it annoys him), and gets nothing more than an irritated glare or getting kicked out of the room at the worst. felix is family to him. it is very very evident that whether claude knows it or not, he is someone who cares so much about family and always has.  and then he met diana, who was the love of his life, and was once again having one of the very very few people close to him taken away. by someone who wasn’t even born yet. can you imagine how awful that must feel? we SEE him so happy when he finds out diana is pregnant. its not that he didn’t want a kid-- he probably did desperately, because that is a complete family unit. dad, mom, kid. someone who never got that got SO close to it and then (and mind you, this was most likely not early in diana’s pregnancy) finds out its all fucking gone. he either loses diana or the child. and of course he wants diana to choose herself, this is DIANA over what is at the time a clump of cells and it no doubt hurt like hell to have to choose!!!!! nobody wants to do that!!!!!! so athanasia is born and claude goes on a downward spiral. he neglects her for the first couple years of her life until they run into each other and curses himself because he feels so mental that its like a hole he cant climb out of. and STILL. with a lot of bumps in the road, he takes care of athanasia. he grapples with the VERY HUMAN conflicts he has and takes care of her, spends time with her, gives her things, and hes doing whatever vague idea of “parenting” and “caring for a kid” he has, because nobody did that with him as a kid. its awkward and stilted and comes off weirdly at various times and he has noooo fucking clue what hes doing. in the end, thats his daughter. his first thought when it comes to people who cross her is to either kill them or get rid of them in some way, because hes the all-powerful emperor and damn him if hes 1. going to let people think that Claude de Alger Obelia, the emperor who will never be given a name that belongs to royalty and had to forcibly grab the role, can be walked over in the slightest 2. they think his KID can, because we see that there are nobles that DO look down on her not just for her age but for her LINEAGE 3. going to let her go through anything that he ever did.  oh and his brother comes back from the dead and hes kinda possessed and was kinda influenced by a ghost(???) and possibly only turned on him because of that in the first place. of course he is not very happy about that. sibling issues as the younger of the two suck ass and you feel the nagging need to reach out, and also the need to tell them to eat shit and never talk to me again. by the end of things, claude does what a lot of siblings end of having to do: you aren’t quite at forgiveness yet, you may never be, and you will probably never have that connection again. but thats your brother, what can you do? both of you are at this weird impasse that nobody wants to get near. so you have some odd semi-reconciliation filled with tension but at the end of the day you go your separate ways and dont hate him anymore. you dont. you see your daughter you wants things to be better for you and think, goddamn it, for her ill try. (meanwhile, jennette pushes anastacius to be honest and consider reconciliation as well). it is purposefully left as both brothers looking at the idea of mending their relationship and saying “ill consider it.” because isnt that all you can do? think about it? and i feel like a big part of that is them looking at athanasia and jennette and being inspired by them as well. by their sister (i know theyre cousins but theyre basically sisters eat shit) relationship and their WANT FOR A BETTER FUTURE. 

it is an incredibly fucking human ending. its also very hopeful. 

the thing that i think WMMAP gets right in its realism and topics of family is that things aren’t always black and white and there’s a lot of grey. the father is not always either the comically cold-hearted tyrant who eats puppies for breakfast OR the incredibly doting and attentive father who listens to everything his kid says and never causes his family pain. because thats what people do to everyone around them regardless of how much they love them: they hurt them. everyone hurts someone. i do. you do. the levels of pain vary but get inflicted regardless. 

SO NO I DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT LUCATHY GETTING THE BACK SEAT 1. THEY ARE AWESOME AS FRIENDS AND HAVE 125 CHAPTERS OF CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO POSSIBLY LOVERS BUILDUP 2. ITS ABOUT FAMILY RAAAAAHHHHH EAT SHIT also lucas is literally family to athanasia but ill make a post about that another day Teehee. this was meant to be about wmmap as a whole but ended up being really claude-centric oooops not sorry bye

[gabiyel]

ℋappy 𝟸𝟽th Birthday, Edward Garmond.

𔘓

thanking your mom for giving birth to someone as amazing as you, exactly twenty seven years ago today. i dont know how you do it, surviving almost three decades of life’s ups and downs in this one hellish of a place, it’s a major feat in itself. 𝚜͟𝚞͟𝚙͟𝚎͟𝚛͟ 𝚍͟𝚞͟𝚙͟𝚎͟𝚛͟ 𝚖͟𝚎͟𝚐͟𝚊͟ 𝚙͟𝚛͟𝚘͟𝚞͟𝚍͟ 𝚘͟𝚏͟ 𝚢͟𝚘͟𝚞͟! ⭐

now, lets list the seven things 𝗶 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂, shall we?

1. your soft spokeness.

please don’t get bored of me saying this, but i truly love your soft spokenness the most. having been yelled at my entire life, it’s incredibly comforting to have someone as gentle as you around. <3

2. you are.. smart. :}

you are incredibly smart, and i actually find it really attractive when you show off that big brain of yours. it’s quite impressive and, honestly, very hot.

3. very dependable

you make me feel like i can rely on you for anything. it saddens me to think that I might not be as dependable for you as you are for me. i’m really sorry for that. but..!! i’m growing and maturing, and i WILL try my best to be someone you can lean on more, okie? :D

4. patient

i don’t know you did it. i would never be as patient as you are, especially when dealing with the shits you go through every single day. tearing up as i write this but you really are one of the most amazing person i know for this.

5. super_kind!

you are incredibly kind, like, to an amazing degree! kayanya aku pernah bilang juga dulu, aku takut mau lanjut sama mas because you are really kind. your heart is pure gold. the way you cherish your friends and your mom is truly admirable. you are admirable. thank you for just being you, for your kindness that shines through. and please, never stop spreading that kindness wherever you go, aight?

6. hard working

you are one of the most hardworking people i know, and it’s incredibly inspiring. i remember you saying that it’s not what you wanted to do, and i get it.. that’s how it works in real life, sometimes life takes us down unexpected paths. still, it must be tough. i really really admire your work ethic, and i hope to become as focused and dedicated as you are. also, i’m going to use this opportunity to tell you this.. i got myself a job! >__< ga perlu ke kantor sih mostly wfh but still! :D aku udah gede! :D hehe..

7. you think first before you act.

your ability to carefully consider the consequences of your actions and how they might affect others is a rare and precious quality. it shows how much you care about the people around you and the situations you find yourself in. you are my polar opposite but it’s reassuring to know that you won’t rush into things impulsively, rather, you take the time to analyze situations and make well-thought-out choices.

𔘓

ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑖𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑡ℎ𝑑𝑎𝑦𝑠.

you are like.. some kind of superhuman with all these traits. you are an amazing person, one of the most amazing person i have ever got the pleasure to know and to love. the people around you are truly lucky to be able to have you by their side. happy birthday! may you filled with all the wonderful things life has to offer. i hope you always feel deeply loved and are constantly surrounded by joy and laughter. may everything come easy for you, and may you experience nothing but goodness and happiness in every aspect of your life.treat yourself to all the good things today, and make yourself the happiest person in the world. i love you dearly, edward garmond.

[kusundei]

genuinelywhy does the worst shit have to happen to me when im already tweaking

like no i knew. i knew the conversation from yesterday w ellis wasnt enough. knew in my heart yet i ignored jt and chose to be happy. joyous because gof forbid all i know is doom and gloom. its just.? why? whyyyy is this still a problem?

i dont even care. i dont know why i keep bothering over and over again i know ill have to fold eventually im fighting a losing battle. “i need you to be honest with me” and then you lash me and use it against me when you get the honest truth. i. dont. want. to. go. on. birth. control. period

like? how hard is that? to understand? you bring up the shit i said ab the abortion like sorry??? what happened to my body my choice?,??? and god forbid she starts fucking implanting it into me herself because no im still jer kid. live under this roof she will make every decision. its fine i dont care at this point i dont know why im still fighting. i cant take the easy way out anymore its just sofrustrating? i feel fucking awful. again. god forbid i told her the reason i sont wanna go on birth control is mostly a mental health thing and she lashes me about how im not okay then. “everyone is depressed you think you have it any harder than the rest of us?” like did i fucking say that? itolf you i dont take medication anymore (cause of you) and also just because im choosing to deal with it naturally ajd i get lashed for even getting affected by things. like its just. why. did we.? have to talk about that? and you keep patronizing me over and over and over again and how i never do anythging right . god forbid i wish you could focus for once in your life oncthe smaller things because i am. trying. ive always tried. you just dont notice when its at par to your demand and also when i go back. i get lashed

its just heaaarring you complain ab the showering again is so. ugh. like. i told you i dont have an answer. its a habit? i suppose? but noooo. “ive told you this over and over. i dont want to hear the excuse of ‘its a habit’ because if you wanted to change you would’ve already” like are you hearing yourself??? do you want to apply that to yourself? jonathan maybe? but no im kind. theyre taking the door agajn i suppose and i dont fucking care jts fine. she knew i was getting upset because she started mocking me. i hate when people do that. when people act like im sofucking dumb. and she knows it and does it to get under my skin because she knows how easily she can and i wont ever do anythjnf about it. i just .? imso? upset? i guess? im upset but im also not. imjust so.? tired?

tired of fighting overr and over again. tired of this but maybe its what i get??? i am selfish. she has told me this shit over and over and i dont really change. i do but not enough i guess its just. i cant win. im stuck in that cycle and im trying sooo hard to not acknowledge it. but no it really will haunt me i suppose? stuck and bound to this life? bound to repeat the cycle of hurting over and over again??? i think im so weird right now because i feel so torn. i wanna be sad and i want to cry and be frustrated because i feel it but i also dont want to. or at least i cant? ill always give you the benefit of the doubt. maybe i am just frustrating. no because what you said??? “you wonder why im upset all the time? think about how i feel about you” and its just. ugh. i cant even try to back mtself up because i do feel bad. i feel bad but im also upset and i hate it because i feel so dumb to feel anything at all. im trying not to upset you and ive done it for so long i try to be small i try to not take up space i try to be understanding and helpful but it is. never. ever. enough. and mayhe its just me truly not trying

just. god. i cant. if i end up truly on birth control who cares at this point. theres no guarantee ill get worse but at this point i think ab it and maybe i aalllreaddyy am. but maybe thats the lack of sleep doomed evil sam talking. its weird because honestly the one main fear i have w the birth control is weight gain and that says enough does it not.? i cant eat. havent eaten. tried to eat earlier cuz sav was lashing me and i ate that one??? slice of pizza and i felt so sick after and i still do. not eating well. my pants today kept slipping and iiii know why. last time i checked i hit 141 i think and i dont think id be shocked if ive hit the 130s now. its concerning but also maybe im enabling myself a tad. its fine im not ill i just. am acting like it. but im not

iiii. just wanna talk to ajax maybe. reminds me of last night when i was so tired and delirious and just rambling but i sidnt feel bad because that wasnt affecting me in the moment. i dontknow if i can truly just tell him something like this while its happening because i cant shake that awful feeling ? im tryinggg but its hard. theyre taking the door off the hinge as i type and immm just getting more. evil. but i wont cry i wont show it im fine. tweakish but ill live. i do it to myself anyway the only person who can save me is me ^_^ but even thats hard

if its meant to be then it will be chat. if god so chooses to make me this way then maybe jts bound to happen. maybe hes lashing me because ive been evil lately or something. ive been happier but also all my tweaks have been worse than theyve been in a while and amybe thags what jt is. repenting cause im happy too much. hell even my mom acknowledges it all the time when im happy. wont ever stop being patronized. i just feel. doomed. again. i feel bad but i cant explain which way i do. just bad. heavy. evil. but ill liveee i always do. ill try and sleep a little earlier tonight since i know im probably tweaking as bad as i am because of the lack of sleep as always. but imfine ill. lock in a bit and text him maybe. or i wont and ill repent a little more and then get my phone taken away bht ill try to see the light and live. just have everything playing in my head overand over and over. its allll just so much but its fine illcope i alllwaaays do

[meliia]

Throne Of Glass **WITH BIG SPOILERS**

i have just finished Kingdon Of Ash and i am DEPRESSED. i have become so attached to this series that now im sad i cannot continue on with these characters.

the final book had me sobbing not stop in its final moments. even though i knew The Thirteen were going to do The Yielding i did not expect them to do it in the way they did, but im especially happy that Asterin was the one to finally end Mother Blackbeak.

but Sarah, I NEED A MANON AND DORIAN BOOK. i just want to see Manon (and Abraxos) heal from her loss and finally find peace with Dorian by her side.

i adore Aelin as a main character mainly because she reminds me so much of Villanelle from Killing Eve. her and Rowans relationship made me also emotional seeing most the things they did were things she corrected from her time with Sam. like with the soap, she never let Sam use her expensive soap but its the first thing she gives Rowan.

the graveyard scene where Rowan put the stone on Sams grave as a thank you was an attack from Sarah herself.

going into this i had never even heard of Erawan, even from the things about the series i already knew, i just always thought Maeve was the main villain, and in a way she was. Sarah did an excellent job with Maeves character because there were so many times in the final book where i question if she really was the bad guy. i believe she really did want to save Erilea and she had good intentions but after some time she started to lose her grasp on what she truly stood for and started to see alternative ways to get what she wanted, even if that made her the villain. there was a moment where i thought maybe she was going to turn good with Dorian but then i realized that damn this entire time i was being manipulated.

YRENE KILLING ERAWAN?! DIDNT SEE THAT COMING

this is completely all over the place but so this isnt massively long here are some short thoughts:

- Lysandra and Aedion are cute

-will never forgive Gavriels death

-Lorcan i warmed up to you

- Chaol your book was so boring mainly because i dont like you but i love your wife so i stuck through it

- seeing all the character from The Assassins Blade pop up made my heart soar

- Manon, Elide and Abraxos are the best charcters and i will die on that hill

- Nesryn loved you, you were fun. have fun being empress and shout out to the rukkins and Sartaq

-Manon and Elides friendship gave me butterflies

- hey Feyre nice to see you pop up, btw your child will kill you when you give birth to it, be better to Nesta

- Rysand cool to see you, thanks for slowing Aelin down but could you tell your wife that her life and the baby's life is in danger, thank you

- that fight between Manon and Aelin will always be one of the best

-Dorian finding some sort of peace with his father (also him being named after his father :') ) im happy for him but another reason i need a him and Manon book is because wtf happened with his mother and brother, do they just chill in a mountain now?

-Fenrys im glad you got your justice in killing Maeve

-every time the Thirteen showed up i lost my shit. big rest in peace i hope Asterin is with her man and baby again.

-kinda wish the guys from Mistward were at Aelins coronation

- RIP Sam hope you beat the shit out of Arobynn in the Afterworld

- Rip Elena, you kinda deserved it but not in that way

- REST IN PEACE NEHEMIA I WILL FOREVER LOVE YOU

- another example that we need a Manorian book is where the fuck did the Bluebloods Matron go?

-shout out Rolfe

- shout out Fleetfoot

my full thoughts from every book would take forever but here is my ranking (for now):

Kingdom Of Ash > Queen Of Shadows > Heir Of Fire > Empire Of Storms > Crown Of Midnight > Throne Of Glass > Assassins Blade > Tower Of Dawn

5/5

[kooksrae]

a collection of things that have made me feel a certain way

updated 23042024

not everything recommended here will suit everyone (smut/ violence/ toxic relationships) and if you do click into links please make sure you read the tws before continuing. 

Social Media AU! (text messages/ snapchat/ twitter/ insta typa vibes)

casual - @muniimyg (JJK × reader)

i have been religiously following this on one of my other tumblr accounts and it's finally completed and i'm so excited to share this with all of you!!

reading this made my insides very tingly and BUTTERFLY typa energy!

lowkey my new comfort fic!

there's some written parts here and there but it really just adds to the CONTENT and the SPICE of the whole situation

 Tiger Flower  - @v-hope (JJK × reader/ KTH × reader)

hella fluffy. makes my heart do the uwu. very much wholesome. something i stayed up till 6am reading

11/10 would stay up till 6 reading it again.

also the significance of tiger lilies is insanely aDORABLEEE 

my love for jjk has just grown a gazillion times more

Under A Shadow - @firebettercallnct (KTH × reader, slight JJK × reader)

a lil angst and a lil fluff. (as all good stories will have)

kinda wish it was longer idk. im a sucker for super long stories.

ALSO !! we get some side yoonmin action !!!!!!!!!!!

Stole your shirt - @firebettercallnct (JJK × reader)

one of my personal favs. super cute and also everyone’s on some kinda crack or sum shit idk.

p damn fluffy and when you reach the end you’ll j kind of wish you could go back to before u read it because u wna experience all the feelings agn.

ALSO!!!! we hv some namjin and yoonseok action !!!1!!

Rumour Has It - @bangtann-bangdamn (KTH × reader)

very much wholesome.

genuinely found it quite funny and it had me laughing at 2 in the morning

i dont rly hv much to say just pls go read it. 

everyone should read it once in their lives

Belong - @v-hope (KTH × reader)

THIS IS FINALLY COMPLETED!!

something i chanced upon during my late night fanfic times and like let me tell you. a whole fucking new world. 

this was really a beautiful read. 11/10 obsessed with this. i literally spend my time rereading this.

teehee give this a read. all yall artist!taehyung fans are rly not gna regret it

Daylight - @maravillamin (MYG × reader)

will make you decide to legally change your name to y/n

ever wanted to be a single mom because you got a divorce with your useless husband? no? well now you wish you were.

literally dad!yoongi and mom!reader

also you have the cutest friends? like this is so cute. makes me want to birth children

touch of him - @herherteartear (JHS × reader) 

you are living the perfect girl life kinda thing and hoseok's the opposite of it all

this is serving polar opposites but not really kind of energy. 

also this is giving off "business only" family energy if you know what i mean.

Actual written things !!

 Monster - @btssmutgalore (JJK × reader)

currently deactivated so i've linked the fic from dee's ao3

this started so many years back and just a few days ago it finally became a completed fic!!!

i have an extremely soft spot for this jungkook.

personal favourite is chapter 18. like literally my heart expands a gazillion times just thinking about this

ngl i was here more for the plot than for the smut. truly chef's kiss

charred - @neonlights92 (JHS × reader)

this was genuinely quite intense. i dont really know what i was expecting out of this tbh. 

development of story plot was great! I enjoyed seeing how it unfolded bit by bit.

this was part of a collection of fics written about mafia!bts n this is my literal fav. i feel like it wasnt too cliche?? (take note of how i said i feel, bcs at this pt i dont even know what counts as cliche anymore) but hey to me this was good n refreshing n i liked it n now i want to share this with all of u

Beloved - @bang-tan-bitches (MYG × reader)

major yandere energy. lowkey disturbing but some part of me is just madly obsessed with this. 

also when you picture daechwita!yoongi it really just drives you craycray

i really dont know what else to say?! but do give this a read (only if you're comfortable)

this is definitely not going to be something that everyone is okay with reading so please check the warnings before proceeding!

love of my life - @latetaektalk  (MYG × reader)

okay this shit be painful af. this fucking broke me. idk have never been the same since. would still read it all over again.

this was about 7k words? so not the longest but it was long enough for something so sad :( 

in general really sad and emo. if you want to feel like the whole world is crashing on you pls give it a read.

the art of the rom-com - @gukyi (JJK × reader)

first of all wtf. made me feel single af. 

it’s our fav kind of enemies to lovers energy. slowburn. college au. yeah you get the gist. 

super fluffy but we love to see it. also mildly angsty but it’s all g we will get over it.

okay but also this was so longggg!!! what an experience. a solid 33k words. i nv thought i would reach the end of it but i did.

super solid read. i hope yall read it too.

blossom - @namfinessed (KTH × reader)

okay first off, yall alrdy know i love hella long fics. this was 38k+ words.

please only read this when you have the time istg i was staring on my tiny screen and really wanted to just fall asleep but also it was too intriguing to just sleep on.

yall rly be sleeping on this though. a very solid read.

i mean you really can’t go wrong with florist!taehyung energy amirite

bad influence: collection - @noteguk (JJK × reader)

so this is an ongoing one as well. 

truth is i havent finished reading whatever has been posted yet. BUT i do have a very good reason for it, which is that i’m not ready to be in a position where i realise i’m going to be done reading it.

frm wtv i’ve read this is some sexy ass story. 

honestly you could read it as individual parts i guess? but for the real feels pls read all the way from the first part. 

oh and it’s a hella hot badboy!jungkook so yes if you r into that you def should add this to your must read list.

easy - @itsamejin (JJK × reader)

okay so here’s the deal with this. collegeau! fuckboy energy. bets are made. yea you kinda get it.

It’s a very basic boy takes bet and ends up falling for the girl kinda thing but idk i really enjoyed the process of reading it. 

you get the good fluff and angst balance in this too so :>

Thoughts Of You Keep Me Awake At Night - @hollyhomburg (MYG × reader)

yoongi asking for cuddles i-

reason stated above should be reason enough for you to go read this

it’s a short 2.1K word situation here so you don’t have to spend a whole hour on it heheh

very nice experience if you’re reading this while it’s late at night and you are alone in bed and can’t seem to fall asleep.

Get You The Moon - @bymoonchild (KTH × reader)

enemies to lovers. do i really have to elaborate on this?

you get to see soft!taehyung and also like jock!taehyung all in one !!

i felt shy reading this. was super absorbed.

ooh and it’s smutty too! 

it’s relatively long (we’re talking 19.6k words besties) but wow the build up, the plot the everything is peak!!!

Paper Cranes - @aquaminwrites (KTH × reader)

we are talking best friends to lovers. some next level fluff. kim taehyung is completely to die for here. i kid you not.

made me wish someone would like me this much lol.

i felt the butterflies reading this. got some post reading depression after this,,,

18.3k words about how you n kth are like the best in the world?? so like go read?!!

anti-baby fever - @gashinabts (JJK × reader)

pls this was so funny and for WHAT!?

it genuinely made me laugh out loud at 2.32 in the morning. 

okay but it’s smutty so you gotta be able to like the spice to read this

it’s also short (4.5k)!! which is a blessing if you are planning to read smth real quick before going to bed!!

but i found myself relating to this though bcs i do not want to have babies unless it’s w bts :’) 

SIN CITY - @btssmutgalore (PJM × reader)

currently deactivated so i've linked the fic from dee's ao3

okAY YALL so this is the one thing that lives in my head rent free. istg there was a period a while back when i went on a social media cleanse or smth but i just had to go back onto tumblr to get updates on this

genuinely the one thing that keeps me going

it’s completed so u can experience all the emotions in one sitting if you are up for that. 

has my whole heart.

dear @btssmutgalore i love you for writing this. pls marry me.

and yes it is spicy my dears. very spicy.

you do get a decent amt of fluff n angst ish n smut so yes it covers all bases.

and you get sum dancing jimin :>

you won’t be able to control yourself istg pls go and read. 

Waking Up Next To The Sun - @houseofwhalien (JHS × reader)

this do be wholesome hours w bby jung hoseok

wholesome morning becomes spicy morning and then back to wholesome morning

okay and this is truly the duality of jung hoseok. like i can literally picture the man being exactly like this

is a short 1.8k of sunshine to bless yall !

Interrupted - @kimnjss (JHS × reader)

let me get yall with this. this is actual spice spice. we are talking extra chilli pepper flakes. 

i’m not usually one for something that is just full on spice but like i was feeling sum typa way when i read this. 

it’s idol!jhope in here who also turns out is your boyfriend. istg y/n do be the luckiest uGH.

it isn’t too long (4.3K words) so it works as a quick read to convince your brain to have some sexy hoseok dreams.

there was a bug - @kimnjss (KNJ × reader)

i felt frustrated reading this man. like the push and pull - istg my girl y/n and kimnamjoon really needa get their shit tgt. 

this was so dirty and for WHAT!! making me shy in bed when i’m all alone with my phone hngghh

has quite a bit of angst and fluff but it’s worth it. the 7k words are all worth it.

baby, my baby - @pjimims (JJK × reader)

okay this was something i read years ago but as i was scrolling through the things i liked i found it again! 

thought it was quite cute

i mean come on dad!jungkook is to die for

am kinda sad they aren't writing anymore fics tho :"(

Angel in the Darkness - @icyhobi (JJK × reader)

okay this made me go oop

i remember seeing like part 3 and i was like okay gna wait for it to be a completed fic before i start reading. and i finally got around to reading it yesterday.

mafia!jungkook is kinda my thing now i guess idk

also wth they all be so sneaky sneaky about everything

will make u go omg out loud

anyway i think i am going to hv I trust issues now (finish reading it and you'll know what i mean by this)

Meet The Parents - @btssaysstudy (KNJ × reader)

idk what it was about this that made me feel very warm but i liked it a lot

it's super short and wholesome

and idk it's nice to think that our dear kim namjoon would be like this 

cute read for when you're busy and need a short burst of fluff to get you through the day

Serving Bitterness - @guksthighs (KSJ × reader)

let me start off by saying this is like the first seokjin fic im recommending omg

this is a super short one (1.8k words) so it's something that you can probably squeeze in during the busy mornings. 

let me first start off by saying y/n is really not here to play lol

also you do gonna be experiencing some second hand embarrassment at the end of it though oof

but yes pls read it was kinda cute, kinda wish it was longer though 

do you want me (dead?) - @gukyi (JJK × reader)

this is a hogwarts au story!!!

dont you just love ravenclaw seeker mr jjk bcs im obsessed!!!!

v cute fic honestly

10/10 wld recommend

pls give it a read hehe

Exitus Acta Probat - @bang-tan-bitches (MYG × reader)

guys,,,, mafia!yoongi pls i am on my knees.

funnily enough i discovered this ages ago during one of my late night tumblr reads but then i lost it the next morning. was able to find it again a few days (?) ago!!

i really liked how yoongi pulled sneaky moves and basically lulled y/n into believing whatever he wanted her to believe to get what he wants

it's lowkey giving yandere(?) and something about yoongi in yandere-ish vibes really keeps me going on a daily basis

tbh my mind sometimes goes back to them and makes me wonder where they are now!!

(pls,,, if you ever want to write more for them,,, i am so ready for it!!)

The one that got away (literally no longer exist; but just going to keep it here)

the snow king - @bloomsuga (KTH × reader)

you got fanatsy stuff going on. you got hella angsty and fluffy all at the same time. besties i think we found the best ice prince! kim taehyung out there.

also we have some slight cutie jimin moments. ( a definite plus!)

oh yea and it gets smutty but in like the most beautiful way.

also this was a long read of 25k words. but it’s a an absolute beautiful creation. did not know that we could put 25k words altogether to make such a masterpiece.

lowkey wanted to cry bcs its way too good.

Willow - @breakiebunny (JJK × reader)

i am not going to ever recover from this.

the number of times i find my brain just drifting over to this work of art is not okay.

my whole heart is still out here hoping desperately that in some alternate universe where this is true that everything is nice and works out great

i felt kinda empty after finishing this ngl,,,

and this is a one-shot,,,

will always hold a piece of my heart

stood up - @parkdatjimin (MYG × reader)

okay everybody. pls. just read this pls.

like this was bloody long. fricking 26.7k words. but what a great use of 26.7k words.

it's like shakespeare rose from the dead and was like what if i dropped another hit!!! (okay not a hit,,, idk it's 2 in the morning i cant think)

for someone who has never even been in a relationship in her whole life i really FELT THIS like in my heart, in my soul typebeat

also working some meh food n beverage job is literally my life. laugh out loud. going to daydream about this when i'm at work tomorrow.

bitter sweet - @mikrksmos (JJK × reader)

once again ladies and gents, my fav typa thing; bf2l

my heart. so full of love. for bestfriend!jk

also wtheck jungkook with a lil sibling? heck yea sign me tf up!!

i think i was very much overwhelmed with the emotions that our dear jk felt bcs sometimes life do be like that

plot was p dang noice!!

[badshitpassionate]

What’s the matter

Are you afraid? Are you scared? Does it hurt?

Why don’t you say no word?

You miss me? Don’t you care?

Sometimes I just wish you would share

Your feelings, your thoughts, your fears and your dreams,

your hopes, your doubts

Cuz to me it just seems, people tend to forget what life is about

So Ima just go and say it out loud

Baby can you tell me about love?

Are you done? Will you continue?

For so long I haven’t seen you

If it isn’t pride,

If it isn’t Ego taking place

Why don’t we talk no more

I mean, this is no race

But Baby help me

Cuz I don’t get it, shit is Crazy to me

how you gon act like that?

What does yo word really count these days?

Guess I just miss the sound..

Guess I‘ve been caught up in my illusions..

The one thing that will never change are my feelings

And I truly respect that everyone got their reasons

Not acting like I‘m above,

You might think it’s all a joke

Guess I‘m just blessed the way that I love

Don’t let nothing come in my way, so much

I still have to say

I stopped questioning life and let it question me instead

Gon live my truth like there’s no such thing

like an end

Gonna be kind, gonna be honest, gonna say what’s on my mind and let it flow to let you know

Words got power but only in such a way that we really want to and even Buddha said rule your mind or it will rule you

Feelings might get hurt but Baby lemme tell you that there can’t be no flower without the dirt

So relax and just rest,

Lay on my shoulder

Cry if you need to

Baby let go, cuz there’s no need to

Stress, Baby don’t you hold yoself back

You know I just gotta check

Up on my people and say what’s on my chest

Know life can be hard,

Baby we all feel lonely from night to night and feelings take a huge part, don’t lose your sight cuz this is no fucking competition for who’s best

You never now what’s next,

Just trust that the universe always got yo back

What is it that you live for?

Is it money? Is it fame?

Now come a lil closer

Dont think I need you next to me, it’s just that my love is infinite and my view on this life may be different

I don’t believe in no separation no more

There’s no perfection,

the only thing that feels real to me is authenticity

Why do people think that their vulnerability is weakness when in reality talking about our feelings and fears make us suffer less?

Know who you are,

Babys gon listen to yo hearts

Don’t take this life too serious,

Enjoy your being and have fun while creating and giving birth to yo ideas

still gon respect ‘em boundaries,

we all learn, we all grow and there’s one thing we all want I know for sho

Ain’t got shit to prove,

Still you watching all my moves

Saying you no like the way that I changed

Isn’t it strange?

You don’t even realize that the whole time you was talking to yoself?

What if I told you that everything was possible?

Guess some shit really be just too simple

Take yo time and heal, but don’t you forget about the deal

Ion look for a husband but a family, my tribe to stand hand in hand

don’t talk about love if it’s not unconditional, if you love someone you gotta love it all

Take it as it is and don’t try to change it, some ppl might think that but it’s nothing that needs to be fixed

I don’t expect nothing but still I won’t take no shit, and I‘m not talking to you the way you talk to me cuz Baby I got something that I call respect and after strike two there comes strike three

I won’t come down, you better come up high

cuz while ‘em mothafuckaz be out in tha Club I be up in tha Cloudz and be enjoying my life

So tell me Baby,

If it’s not pride, if it’s not Ego taking place

What’s the matter?

Baby do you dare?

Can you tell me about love?

[manonblaqkbeak]

Complicated

Fking finally lol. I’ve had absolutely no motivation to read or write these last few days, but I finally started this last night and finished it now. Here’s Day 15--a bad day, and part 3 of the mini-series i have going for this month.

Part 1  Part 2

cw: none that i can think of, but if theres anything, pls dont hesitate to let me know!

1.5k words

enjoy!! :)

Aelin had been sitting in her car for the last twenty minutes, staring at the motel door. She had no idea what she was going to say to Sam, but she knew she had to say something.

Something like, “I'm sorry that your biological daughter calls another man daddy and papa.” Maybe Aelin should have put a stop to it once Olive had started calling Rowan that, but hearing Olive say daddy in her tiny voice with a wide smile on her face made Aelin's heart flutter, and the sweet look of joy when Rowan heard her say it made Aelin think that it wouldn't be too bad.

She had got caught up in the fantasy of it all, but it was hard not to be sucked down into. She still loved Rowan and they had been dating seriously for the last six months. They had been friends for five months after she saw him at the nursery, and things had been going so damned well. Rowan and Egan had moved into Aelin's place two months ago—the four bedroom house previously owned by Aelin's parents before they moved into a small home—and she got along fantastically with Egan; he had a bit more of an understanding that Aelin wasn't his biological mother, since Rowan still had the photos of Lyria during the pregnancy, and she was determined to never replace Lyria, but when he called her 'ma' or 'Lin', her face would break into a smile so big she thought that it would be a permanent fixture on her face.

Aelin wasn't stupid, however, she knew that people thought that she and Rowan were moving too fast—namely her parents and Aedion, but when she and Rowan talked about the future, it felt solid, like it wasn't just a fanciful notion, but something real that was only a few steps away from being able to hold in her hands.

She had never been with someone that was so loyal to her, someone that cared for her in the way that Rowan did. That looked past her outer beauty and saw Aelin for who she was, and encouraged her to go for what made her happy.

It wasn't always perfect, they had arguments for time to time, but they worked it out, and that had shocked Aelin at first, that Rowan actually wanted to work together to fix the issue, that he actually communicated instead of just letting the arguments fade away. It wasn't like that at all with Chaol, part of the reason why their relationship crashed and burned.

So she hardly thought twice about what it meant to have Olive call Rowan 'daddy', that to Aelin, she was just building a family and a future, but she was starkly reminded that her boyfriend indeed was not her daughters father when Olive called Rowan 'papa' in the middle of the lunch that Sam was invited to at their place and the silence that had descended between the three adults.

Aelin almost choked on the pizza that she was in the middle of inhaling when Olive said that, her daughter sitting on Rowan's lap because she had been fussy and didn't want to sit in her booster seat. Olive and Egan were blissfully unaware of the awkwardness that was emanating from Aelin, the brown haired boy paying attention only to the TV that was playing his favourite cartoon, and Olive had simply wanted more of Rowan's attention.

Aelin glanced at Sam and found that the look in his eyes was utterly unreadable, which was unusual since Sam was easy to read, but for the first time in the years that Aelin knew him, she had no idea how to decipher his expression.

Rowan had opened his mouth, to say what Aelin wasn't sure, when Sam waved him off, and resumed the conversation revolving around the classic car that Rowan was fixing in his rare free time. So Rowan, knowing that it wasn't the right place to have that conversation, continued where he left off before Olive uttered that word that had never felt wrong before but suddenly left Aelin wanting to sink into the floor.

And when Sam had left after lunch, Aelin had decided that temporarily avoiding the topic was the best move, and after helping Rowan clear the table, Aelin had given Olive a quick bath in order to think about anything else.

All Aelin had been able to think about was what if somehow, by letting Olive calling Rowan her dad, she had doomed her daughter into developing daddy issues, that she would grow up confused on how to feel about her biological father when all her life she had called another man dad.

Aelin banged her head against the steering wheel, wondering how a good, decent day had gone to a complicated mess in a matter of hours.

She stayed there for a while, until she realised that she needed to be the adult she was and left the car, knocking loudly on the white motel door.

The door flew open and Aelin was greeted by Sam, a small smile on his face. “I was wondering how long you were going to sit out there for.” Having no idea what to say to that, Aelin stayed silent and went inside when Sam invited her in.

Aelin worried at her lip, and sat at the tiny table by the TV. She truly had no idea what to say.

Sam sat across from her and took her hands in his. Aelin looked up and found nothing but openness in his warm brown eyes. “I'm not mad, if that's what you're thinking.”

Aelin blinked at him. While Sam wasn't a violent man, she wasn't expecting that. “How?” she managed to get out after a moment. “How could you not be mad? Your daughter is calling another man 'papa'.”

“I'm hardly Olive's father, Aelin, I'm aware that I'm not the most active dad, I've seen her only a handful of times since her birth and she's nearly two. It's clear that Rowan loves her, and that she loves him. I actually saw all four of you earlier today, at the park,” Sam added. “I was feeling nervous, like I always do before I see Olive, so I went to the park to have my breakfast. I heard your laugh and I turned, ready to call out to you, when I saw that you were having a picnic and I realised that you already had a family, that Rowan and Egan are your family, and that Rowan is Olive's father in the way that counts, in the way that matters, and that I'm just an intruder in your lives.”

Gripping his hands, Aelin shook her head. “Sam, you can't think like that, you're not an intruder. You're Olive's biological father, you're important.”

“And I'll always be grateful that I had a hand in creating her, but Aelin, I want you to look inside yourself and tell me truthfully, in ten years time, who do you see by your side, Olive's side? Because I know that it isn't me.” And it wasn't, Aelin didn't to look inside herself to know that. She was already thinking deeply about her future long before Sam's visit.

“I want you to know though,” Aelin said abruptly, “that I didn't deliberately set out to have Olive see Rowan as her father, that I did talk about you from time to time, but I-I don't think that she could make the connection that the voice on the end of the phone belongs to you. But I promise that if see ever asks about you, I'll tell her, I won't hide anything from her.”

“I know that you will,” Sam said, “just maybe tell her in a nice way that she's the result of a broken condom.”

Aelin laughed, feeling light for the first time since this whole thing started. “I will. Although I think I'll have to consult Google for that.”

Sam nodded, because even he knew that there were no books that could help with that conversation. “But if she never asks about me, then don't tell her.”

“Sam—”

“If Olive wants to believe for the rest of her life that Rowan is her biological father, then I'm okay with that. I'd rather her be happy than confused. Because when I heard Olive call Rowan 'papa', it felt right, like it made sense. And I know that's how you feel, too. And I know it makes no sense, but Olive somehow just looks like she's Rowan's daughter, you know? And I don't want to get in the way of that.”

Sam was far too nice for his own good. People as kind as him were hard to find. It was a miracle that in this life that she had met two men like that.

Aelin wiped at her eyes, the tears falling suddenly and fast. “How are you so nice when your father is a piece of shit?”

Sam snorted and handed her a tissue. “Years of therapy.” He took a deep breath, and in his brown eyes, the eyes that she had once fallen for so deeply, Aelin saw acceptance. “There's also something else...I was doing some soul searching before you came over, and I...I know that I'm not on the birth certificate and that I don't really have a say—”

“Sam, of course you have a say. Like I said earlier, you're Olive's biological father. You might not be on the birth certificate, but if you have opinions, then you can share them with me, I won't bite your head off.”

Sam gave her a tiny smile. “And I appreciate that, I do. But what I was going to say is this: if ever in the future Rowan wants to adopt Olive, then you and he have my blessing.”

Aelin stared at him for a long moment, letting the words sink in, and then the tears started again and Aelin's body shook with the force of her sobs. Because if Sam's father wasn't Arobynn, then she would have had the family that Sam was wholeheartedly accepting that she had with Rowan. And that he was willing to stand aside to let Olive have the father that she deserved.

Sam came over to her, hugging her to him as Aelin sobbed into his shoulder, running his hand up and down her back. Aelin had never let herself cry like this in front of him, she never really liked crying like that, but she couldn't help herself and couldn't stop herself for a long while. It was a good ten minutes later when the tears slowly subsided and Sam slowly pulled back, giving her a once over with his kind eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Aelin said, loudly blowing her nose with a handful of tissues. “I just...I wasn't sure what I was expecting to happen here tonight. Never did I think that you would offer something like that, Sam.”

“I would be just like Arobynn if I forced you to be unhappy, and I never want to be like him.”

“You're not,” Aelin said, “you'll never be like him. I hope one day, Sam, you'll be able to have a family of your own.”

Sam kissed her cheek, the gesture sending her back to when they were teenagers. “I hope so, too.”

Aelin stayed for a little while longer, just talking and reminiscing about the old times. And when she went home, she kissed him on the cheek, thanked him again, and told him that he would always have a special place in her heart, because without him, she wouldn't have Olive.

Sam repeated the sentiment, and wished her nothing but happiness with Rowan, and that he was glad she found him.

Aelin was glad she found Rowan, too.

X X X X X X

Aelin walked into her house, and was greeted by two ecstatic children, acting like they hadn't seen her for years. Aelin smiled and gave them their hugs that they desperately wanted. She went over to the kitchen counter where Rowan was preparing dinner—grilled cheese, that she knew very well had veggies hidden within, because Egan acted like vegetables were the world's most evil thing to exist—and kissed him on the cheek. He kissed her temple in response, and Aelin breathed in the homely scent of him.

“How did everything go with Sam?” he asked, moving about the kitchen to start the side salad.

“Great, and there's something very important that I have to tell you.” Rowan raised a silver brow, but Aelin kissed his cheek again and promised to tell him later.

X X X X X X

Aelin was more than ready to climb into bed and fall asleep, but she needed to tell Rowan about her conversation with Sam, so when they got settled and comfortable, Aelin told him what her ex-partner said.

Rowan was stunned for a moment, and she hadn't even told him the best part. “Truthfully, I was mentally preparing myself for Sam to punch me in the face after lunch, but to hear what he said to you, I feel like a fool for ever thinking that he would resort to that.”

“If he was more like his father, he definitely would have. But Sam is the polar opposite of Arobynn, and truly wants nothing more than for people to be happy.” Rowan smiled and took Aelin's hand in his, and Aelin relished in the comforting touch. “And there's something else,” Aelin added, and it was ridiculous, but a tiny part of her was nervous, that told her that Rowan wouldn't want Sam's blessing, that he wouldn't want to legally be Olive's father. “Sam told me that if you ever wanted to adopt Olive, then you have his blessing, because he wants nothing more than for Olive to be loved and cared for, and he sees that you're the one that can help provide her with that.”

Rowan looked at Aelin, and her own eyes watered when she saw that his were filling up. “I would be honoured to do that, Aelin. It would make me the happiest man in the world to have that privilege. And after we're married, we can start the process, and maybe one day, when Egan's a little older and he has a better understanding, you can adopt him too, because I know you like him just as much as I love Olive.”

“I do,” Aelin said, choking up. “That would be—” Aelin stopped, her mind finally catching up with what he just said. “Did you just propose to me?”

Rowan cracked a smile and kissed her. He pulled away just so, their noses touching. “Not yet, I haven't found the right ring.”

Aelin laughed joyfully, even as her tears overflowed. “Just to let you know, I'm not helping you out this time. You'll have to figure it out on your own.”

Rowan kissed her again and again. “Don't worry, I've already got a few choices in mind.”

“Good. Make sure its sparkles.”

“I will,” Rowan said, and took her into his arms.

It wasn't too bad of a day, after all.

[jonathans-boyfriend]

ST4 Vol2 Ep9

- yuri, i hate you

- joyce and hopper <333

- lasagna and breadsticks. hopper its okay hun

- JOYCE AND HOPPER ARE CUTE TOGETHERRR

- please kiss omg pleaseeee

- THEY KISSED ! OMG THEY KISSEDDD

- LEADER NANCY IS HOT

- nancy wheeler i love you so fucking much

- dustin, sweetie, do not get hurt or i will throw H A N D S

- steve, that was so hot

- ROBNANCE OR NOBIN IDK I LOVE THEM

- steve, stop making moves in jonathan’s girlfriend

- ediie and dustin are heroes !

- MAKE VECNA PAY !

- the new monster hunting trio is so sexy tho. nancy leading.

- the zoom in on nancy? consider me peaked

- jonathan is stressed. means im stressed.

- hi eleven, my beloved.

- argyle, you beautiful dumbass

- eleven is going to piggyback in max’s mind

- argyle has an idea:D

- max !!!

- the faint running up that hill. im so terrified.

- hi lucas, my loveeee

- ERICA, please GO HOME! i dont want you hurt :(

- PHASE ONE is on. oh no.

- JASON! put that damn gun away. you ain’t going to do shit

- stay away from the kids or i will sadako your ass

- Russia team is getting ready? i hope…

- hopper is pissed.

- joyce and hopper are ready to protect their kids

- hopper holding a flamethrower. consider me scared and aroused.

- argyle and fellow high dumbass

- purple palm tree delight. again.

- jonathan, go save your friends from afar. i love you

- eddie and dustin, better make it out it here it i will actually cry

- HIS AXE IS IN THE UPSIDE DOWN

- eddie, sweetheart, dont get hurt

- steve, do not make any moves on nancy. isrg j will STOP watching the show

- i love how seeing nancy smile but please stop flirting steve.

- please. steve stop. steve stop.

- nancy no. NANCY NO.

- nancy does not seem to feel the same. i hope.

- murray and jim on a first name basis. love it.

- its a warzone. the demogorgon IS NOT DEAD.

- why is enzo kinda 🥴

- exactly enzo. put yuri in his fucking place.

- yuri is a veteran?

- enzo is so hotttt

- exactly yuri. do the right thing. please.

- im so scared for max. please dont hurt max…

- max and lucas are so cute. they are a power couple. they have stood the test of time and truly love one another

“ hi!” “hi :)” “im glad you are here” “me too!” “movie friday?” *lengthy writing* “*a picture if them together 👩🏼‍🤝‍👨🏿*”

- the lovebirds have copied!

- ericas sassss

- phase two begins. poor max…

- its game time.

- "hey asshole!” — max (s4) "hey asshole!” — nancy (s2) - girls getting shit done.

- mileven! <3

- im happy they are talkin.

- PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA?! now i gotta try it

- will and jonathan…please talk omg

- byers brothers memories

- larry the lego man.

- silly will got a lego man stuck up his nose

- jon doing surgery on his brothers nose lmao

- jon loves his brother so much.

- he doesnt wanna lose his baby brother.

- “or stoned.” - sass, matter of a fact

- “or stoned.” - agreement

- jonathan KNOWS. omg he knows. he loves his brother and supports him.

- THEIR HUG. jonathan is THE best brother to exist and my favorite stranger things character. i love you byers.

- its go time.

- el, max, and lucas together again. . .sorta

- this is max’s season.

- aw max 🥺

- max wanting billy dead. yikes 😳

- i wish i could hug max.

- el is listening and her heart is breaking.

- max can’t forgive herself and wants to die? i feel you max

- I WAS SO SCARED. i THOT LUCAS WAS REALLY SAYING THAT TO MAX

- RUN MAX! fucking RUN

- el is in.

- eddie. my love.

- “chrissy, this is for you!” <3 SHRED EDDIE

- i just realized the demobats have demogorgon heads

- JASON GET AWAY FROM ERICA

- BILLY

- ERICA! MY LOVE NOOO :(

- THE SNOWBALL! THE BIRTH OF LUMAX

- DUSTIN AND EDDIE CELEBRATING GIVES ME LIFE

- back to the russia crew :)

- BURN THE MFKING MIND FLAYER >:)

- EVERYTHING ESCAPED OUT OF THEIR CAGES OMG

- the mind flayer has risen

- please be careful monster hunters 2.0

- robin and nancy holding each other’s hands for safety. love it.

- little baby max riding a skateboard and flipping people off <3

- he FOUND HER NO

- EL HuURRY!

- SHES IN THE UPSIDE DOWN VERSION OF THE SNOW BALL

- DO NOT HURT ERICA

- JASON I WILL LITERALLY MURDER YOU

- joyce remembering bob breaks my heart

- joyce and hopper have a date. hes going to survive 🥺🥺

- THEY KISSED AGAIN— hopper, do not fail miss byers or i will wake you up and kill you myself

- dustin trying to be scary is so funny. i love him.

- STUPID DEMOBAT SCARED ME

- dustin and eddie stabbing stuff makes me smile <3

- LET GO OF ROBIN AND STEVE!

- NANCY NO!

- FUCKIN HELL!

- DONT HURT MY BABIES

- IT IS ON SIGHT VECNA

- RUN HOPPER

- EDDIE NO! EDDIE NO

- MAX NO MAX NO

- LUCAS YOU BADASS! FIGHT!

- the SINCLAIRS ARE KICKING SO MUCH ASS

- STAY AWAY FROM MAX HENRY/ONE/VECNA

- SHUT THE FUCK UP VECNA I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF

- EL WHEREARE YOU

- THERE YOU ARE MY LOVE

- ELMAX ARE REUNITED

- PRESENTING THE QUEEN, ELEVEN

- “YOU!” “hi. :)” *yeet*

- DUSTIN YOU BADASS ILY

- EDDIE NO

- DUSTIN OMG GET UP BABY

- EDDIE STOP PLEASE

- PLEASE GTFO HOPPER

- KICK HIS ASS LUCAS

- NO JASON YOU A-HOLE

- my girls are back together and that makes me so happy <3

- “im real :)”

- “i piggybacked from a pizza dough freezer :)” “WHAT?!”

- SAVE MAX EL

- “if you touch her again, i will KILL you again.”

- STAY AWAY FROM EL

- dustin’s leg is broken…no…baby no…

- eddie sweetheart. you are so brave.

- i admire max for trying to protect her friend

- NO ELEVEN! FIGHT IT

- EL PLEASE FIGHT BACK! YOU ARE SO POWERFUL!

- MAX NO! LET GO OF MAX! PLEASE NO

- I CANT LOSE HER…

- el, sweetie, its not going to work. . .

- yes. keep him busy el.

- ew. he is so ugly… — me about vecna

- THE MIND FLAYER?!

- HENRY CREATED THE MIND FLAYER! OMG

- henry created the upside down.

- it all started with henry.

- NO! THEY HAVE NOT LOST!

- EDDIE NO!

- NO PLEASE! I CANT LOSE ANYONE ELSE

- FIGHT EL FIGHT!

- NO MAX OH MY GOD! MAX PLEASE NO!

- YOU ARE SO POWERFUL!

- YOU SAVED MAX OMG

- EVERYONES OKAY!

- NANCY IS PISSED.

- HOPPER IS PISSED

- EVERYONE IS PISSED

- FUCK OFF VECNA! FUCK OFF

- “you’ve already lost.” “no. you have.”

- BURN VECNA! BURN

- RUNNING UP THAT HILL!

- kill the son of a bitch

- TAKE YOUR SHOTS NANCY

- GOD IS A WOMAN

- NANCY DOES NOT BACK DOWN FOR SHIT

- that would’ve been a perfect, “go. to. hell!” line from nancy, not gonna lie

- im so glad shes okay

- THEY WON but at what cost…

- EDDIE?! PLEASE NO EDDIE

- NO FUCK THIS SHOW! FUCK THIS SHOW!

- EDDIE YOU FUCKING MAD LAD. I LOVE YOU. REST EASY.

- FUCK THIS SHOW. FUCK THIS STUPID SHOW.

- THEY FUCKING KILLED MAX! I HATE THIS STUPID SHOW!

- I AM CRYING! LITERALY SOBBING

- NO MAX PLEASE

- GET UP MAX

- please get up max

- shes dead? holy fuck. fuck this stupid show! please get up max

- NO NO NO NO! THIS IS A HORRIBLE SHOW!

- the ritual was complete…they lost

- WAIT DID JASON JUST DIE! omg the upside down opening up literally killed jason. THANK GAWD

- TWO DAYS LATER?!!

- TWENTY TWO?! DEAD! holly and karen better be okay.

- they’re okay. thank god.

- JANCY REUNITE OMG

- please tell me they hug

- jancy is supreme. THEY STAYED STRONG. THEY ARE STILL TOGETHER

- max is alive?

- nevermind…

- she is fighting for her life! come home max. come home.

- elmax reunites in person….in the worst circumstances.

- the code cracking trio is back and helping out

- rob and vickie reunite

- vickie is pulling a robin in episode one! oh my fucking god!

- ROBIN is getting a girlfriend :) im happy

- steve is proud of his bff

- aw dustin…baby…sweetheart.

- rest easy eddie munson. you were an angel. a true hero. you were innocent. and you did it for chrissy <3

- they are cleaning up hopper’s cabin for el.

- please talk to each other, jon and nance.

- jonathan is jealoussss

- he wont tell her? come on jonny! communicate! she is the love of your LIFE!

- she feels like she lost. poor baby.

- HOLY FUCK. the upside down connection is back. run will. gtfo.

- vecna is going to die.

- grab a gun nancy. its the government.

- el spins the bottle, the game she played with max in season three on who to use her powers on.

- el is trying to find max in her mind.

- dont lose hope. max is okay.

- OMG HOP AND EL ARE REUNITED! IM GOING TO CRY AGAIN

- IM SO HAPPY THEY ARE TOGETHER AGAIN.

- she kept the door open three inches for hopper. omg.

- they are both without their luscious locks.

- “yeah…i kinda stole your look.”

“yeah :)”

“ how does it look?”

“bitchin’l

- THEY ARE SO HAPPY TO HAVE ONE ANOTHER AGAIN

- “im happy you went to your conference.” YES ME TOO EL! me too

- welcome home hopper

- “you’ve grown :)”

“you’ve shrunk.”

- will senses vecna.

- shit is about to go down.

- the music building. this score…

- the upside down is coming to hawkins.

- war is coming to hawkins, indiana

the five deaths of stranger things vol.2

i. brenner

ii. eddie

iii. max (resurrected)

iv. jason

v. hawkins itself.

bro this show is the reason i need therapy again. thanks stranger things 4. thank you soooo much

[floralkittygambler]

HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]

This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’.  DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not.  HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.

Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment.  I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief.  For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions.  In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair.  Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity.  On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed  in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd.  There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings).  Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond.  A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).

[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).

/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~

Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross.  In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute.  Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative.  The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average.  Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing.  Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy.  Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow.  Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship.  Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this.  The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label.  Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour.  I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it.  Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics.  I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble.  Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke.  This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow​ (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars​, @galemalio​ (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz​, @critical-hazbin​, @what-the-hazbin​, @hazboobhotel​, @pineapple-critiques-stuff​, @devils-advocutie​, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.