#get ready for some more bad art friens

[smudged-red-ink]

Day 1

First day of my get better at art December drawing challenge, starting simple.

Here's my character Sunny from my WIP eating dinner after her shift before her life was infected by the paranormal

[warmilksz]

😩How would they confess to you? 😳

Hello everyone it's been a while, I'm almost done with college 😁🎓 I can't wait to get out ong.

Anyway 😜 I hope this reading brightens your day, even if it's a little bit❤️

**just a disclaimer: take what resonates and leave what doesn't for others. Go with the flowwwww It's a general reading (⁠~⁠￣⁠³⁠￣⁠)⁠~**

Centering: if needed before selecting a pile close your eyes and inhale for 4 seconds. Hold whatever is on your mind. When ready, release the thoughts for 6 seconds. Repeat as needed and select the pile that calls to you 💕

1. I'm getting for this pile they would be hesitant to tell you but only because they seem so shy when it comes to their romantic feelings ( aww so cute🥺 ) You drive them crazy with your energy and u don't even realize how much of an effect you have on them and that just makes them more interested lol. You light up this person's world like dynamite 🧨. I feel so happy typing this lol I think that's their energy with you and they are ecstatic just to be in your presence but they may play it cool on the surface. So once this shy person works up the courage to show their honest feelings, They would probably approach you when you are in a nice mood and alone. To make sure it's just you two. For example, if you really like art, they would catch you while you were working on a fun project. Then all the excitement they feel for you will come up and manifest as stuttering and they may get really sweaty from the nervousness. idk why I'm saying this but cut this softie some slack pile 1 😭 ( are u a bully to them?😭)

2. Hmm this pile feels more solem than pile 1. Alot more serious this time. This person would show signs and u might get a feeling about their confession be fore they even tell you (😳) You may catch them staring at you lost in thought in the middle of a conversation or during a lecture or something similar. If you call them out they would be like " oh it's nothing" and pretend it didn't happen. Don't worry, this is just them sorting out their feelings so that when they confess they will be 100% sure about how they feel. They will think about their words and even when and where to tell you, they'll plan it all out. They seem like a serious person and they want to be sure about the person they like because they love hard and don't want to be hurt again ( aww 🤕) . The image I'm getting When it's time to confess is that they will want a private setting and be really close to you, they will maybe hold your hands and tell you that they like you and why.

3. For this pile, this person is confident. Don't get me wrong they are human lol so They have the normal nervousness that comes with confessing but they hide it well! Beneath the surface they worry you won't be impressed with them so they may put on a facade. In order to have you they will risk their pride and will fake it till they make it! They will be sure they like you when they confess and that they can be the person you want/desire in more ways than one (whoa 😳 ...) This person will do their best to sell themselves when they confess to convince you to give em a chance. They may mention how they can take you shopping, drive you around in fancy cars and can make you yell their name if u catch my drift (they want you bad 🤭) if you were to reject them they would have a "whatever, idc" vibe Infront of you and then cry when they are alone😭 It's interesting because they appear kinda desperate for you but also as if they dont care if u reject them, but we know that's just a front 🤭. 4. Whoa this person is kinda funny lol. They might joke a a lot with you and you will already know this person when they confess. They feel familiar like a friend, this my friends to lovers pile 😉.They probably the type to send you random memes during the day. In any case they may be self-depricating tho 😭. Kinda like pile 1 they will be nervous but they are also scared of your reply because you guys will be close friends when they confess. But they seem to be determined to let you know so they are gonna stick it out till the end (gots to see it thru ma boy) They will approach you as if they are just trying to hangout with you and then after buttering you up with a few jokes they will drop the fact that they like you . If they are really playful it can probably come off as a joke and you may have to pry (I see you asking them "what do you mean by **insert flirtatious joke here**"🕵️‍♀️) to get them to clearly say "I like you"😭. Thanks for reading

[phanfictioncatalogue]

High School AU (7) Masterlist

Links Last Checked: June 7th, 2022

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part eight

A Cute Guy Helped Me - phananddragonsfics

Summary: “Did you find everything you were looking for?” / “Yeah, a cute guy helped me.” / “Is there anything else, or will that be all?” / “Well, said cute guy and I have been talking for about a year now, but I never got his number.”

All My Days I’ll Know Your Face - manchestereyes

Summary: When a new kid starts at Phil’s school, Phil certainly doesn’t expect him to be everything he ever could have hoped for in a friend and more. Can he convince him to let go of the past and audition for the school musical? And what about those feelings that somehow seem to pop up when he least expects them?

A Thorough Lesson On The Male Body (ao3) - americanphancakes

Summary: Dan Howell -- Phil’s substitute sex ed teacher -- is very good looking and, luckily for Phil, very into hands-on teaching methods.

Crushing On The Bad Boy - dxnhowell

Summary: In which Louise tries to help her best friend out by setting him up with his biggest crush, Phil Lester, the bad boy Quarterback on the football team. They’re total opposites, but Louise thinks Dan has a chance with him. However, things don’t exactly go to plan.

Fell In Love With You From The First Note - dxnhowell

Summary: Phil has always been entranced by the piano covers uploaded by howell music on YouTube, it was a daily routine of his to play covers of his favorite ghibli songs while getting ready in the morning. Imagine his shock when he finds the pianist sat in next to him in his English Class…

Gravity - cellohowell

Summary: High school AU where Phil really likes to fool around with boys and girls alike, and Dan has a huge crush on Phil that he wishes he didn’t. One night, he gives in, just to find the consequences the next morning.

I’ll keep on waiting on here for you (ao3) - Iceprincessvictuuri

Summary: the fic where high school Dan and Phil breakup because Phil cheated and Dan can’t stop thinking about him.

Let's Not Talk About Anything Else But Love (ao3) - enthuzimuzzy

Summary: Phil's letter from NYU has finally arrived and he's freaking out (before he and Dan find a pretty effective form of distraction).

Oblivious - phananddragonsfics

Summary: Dan and Phil’s friends are determined to get the two together. Little do they know Dan and Phil are already one step ahead of them…

Paint - quiffsandflowercrowns

Summary: Dan and Phil are in the same art class, at the same table. Dan is brilliant at art and Phil’s artistic ability is nonexistent. Their teacher puts them together to help Phil pass his exam. More than a casual friendship might occur if given time….

Some Kind Of Folliful - danfanciesphil

Summary: Dan has one friend, and only because he was forced into it. Phil is loud, excitable, and irritatingly happy all of the time. Phil seems to find Dan’s perpetual attitude funny, and despite Dan’s best efforts to shun him and everyone else, wants to be around him all the time. That is, until Phil starts talking about Amanda Jones.

St Anthony’s Secondary is a school divided by class. Their town is split down the middle, quite literally, by a railroad that separates the affluent families from the destitute. Dan is on the very outskirts of the poor side. He has one friend, and no desire to make any more, nor to buy into the sickening popularity and wealth contest of his peers. He thought Phil felt the same. And then, out of the blue, Phil develops a worrying obsession with a girl from the other side. She embodies everything Dan hates; he tries to explain this to Phil, to no avail. As his obsession with Amanda grows, as does Dan’s loathing for her. Still, it shouldn’t bug Dan this much to see his friend pine some braindead bimbo relying on her boyfriend’s wallet. So why does it?

Something To Be Proud Of - dxnhowell

Summary: High School AU where Dan and Phil drifted apart over the years but then they get paired up for a project and they become friends again and later they get together.

Stomach Flu - phanhowlterstuff

Summary: Dan doesn’t want to get his fourth strike.

Teenagers (ao3) - dizzy, waveydnp

Summary: When Phil's family packs up and moves to a new house in a new neighbourhood, he's fully prepared to be lonely and miserable. And he is.

Until he meets the boy who lives across the street.

The Blind Boy - jilliancares

Summary: Dan Howell liked to think of his entire life as a series of tragic accidents. Because really, how many people can say that they managed to become blind and obtain a supposedly Cute Boy’s hate all in the span of one year? And Phil Lester has not had the best school life, so in order to avoid bullying or a bad reputation, he refuses to take shit from anyone at this new school. Even if that someone just so happens to be blind.

The Boy In The Garden (ao3) - The General Phanboy

Summary: (Highschool AU) Dan Howell and Phil Lester had nothing in common. But when the two of them end up working together in the abandoned school garden, will friendship- or something more- develop between them?

The Fault in Our Education System - ticklishhpickle

Summary: In which Dan pines over the two things he can’t have- contentment with his grades and Phil Lester- before he realises that both might not be as unattainable as they seem.

The Good, The Bad, and The Dirty - analester

Summary: A high school au in which dan and phil used to be best friends and are now enemies that hate each other’s guts until it becomes something a little more complicated than they thought.

The Perfect Gift (ao3) - Yiffandquiff (paradisobound)

Summary: Phil Lester didn't particularly like Secret Santa that his maths teacher did every year. He normally received just simple gifts and was always underwhelmed. But this year, his Secret Santa gives him the perfect gift and he's determined to find out who this person is. It also helps that his Secret Santa has a crush on him too.

Water Boy - elliesfics

Summary: (tw) Dan’s high school football season is coming to a close. The only thing worse than having his archenemy Phil Lester on the same team is the fact that he can’t even play this season. But that’s just the surface problem… the secret Dan is keeping behind closed doors is only getting harder to deal with and he worries he can’t take very much more.

With You I’m Safe - phandictioned

Summary: Dan seems to have enemies everywhere. Abuse comes from his father at home as well as a bully at school. A boy he’s never met, Phil, saves him from the bully one day and it sparks a friendship in which both rely heavily on. Dan often escapes his father’s rampages by slipping into Phil’s bedroom window for a night of comfort and saftey. Deeper feelings toward each other are realized and expressed but with it comes harsher treatment from Dan’s father.

[childofthemoon86]

@francisandtheworldweek Day 1: Photographer/Model au

Love is Inspiration, Inspiration is Love

Pairing: (pre)FrUk, implied spamano

Characters: France, Spain, Prussia, England, America, South Italy (mentioned)

Rating: T for language

Word count: 2350

Summary: When Francis loses his love of photography, inspiration comes from an unlikely, and rather drunk, source.

Cross posted on FF.net

Francis sighed as he clicked through the images on his screen. Male models sporting the latest fashion flick past his eyes with barely a moments glance. Snazzy street clothes, expensive suits, swim wear, underwear, each image taken has the perfect theme for the occasion and really, by anyone else’s standards, the pictures are beautiful, breathtaking… perfect.

But when Francis looks at these pictures, he doesn’t see that special spark anymore. He sees hours of rigging just to set up the right lighting for maybe one or two passable photos, and dozens more tossed for not being ‘just right’. He sees fussy hair and makeup designer arguing over the same faces day after day, only to paint the same look on each one. He sees boring models who act more like play-doh than clay. He sees dozens of people acting like cogs in a machine, and the expectation they all have of him, for him to make it all work.

He sees a process, a set up.

He doesn’t see art. He doesn’t see life.

Turning from the screen, Francis pushes himself away from the desk, the wheels of his chair squeaking under him as he rolls back from the force. He leans back, slowly letting his eyes rove around the studio.

Around him the white walls are decorated with some of his best works. Large portraits filled with bright, and back then new, models in some of his more… ostentatious works. As his eyes roll over each, he can’t help but feel a smile pull at his lips. How can he not? Each picture has a story, and every time he looks at them, he feels himself whisked right back to the day he took it.

But then his eyes returned to the black screen at his desk.

He frowns, wondering when did he lose his spark? Just when did he start to hate the very thing that used to give him such joy?

Looking to the side, his eyes land on the small frame nestled on the corner of his desk.

Most people who come to his studio don’t even know he’s the one who took it, mostly because he’s in it, that, and the fact that it’s nothing like the others. It’s a bit blurry and off centre. It also has an odd tilt, and lens flare from the sun blots out the upper right corner with it’s glaring white light, almost blocking out the view of one of the peoples faces.

But despite all these apparent flaws, it’s by far Francis’s most precious picture.

Gently, he lifts it up to examine it closer.

The picture was taken in a park, one not too far from his old studio, and is a simple one of three friends. It was a summers day, the last summers day that the three friends would share for some time, and they wanted to remember it. Francis was only a budding photographer back then, but even so, he knew just how to capture the day.

He had set up a tripod with his new camera all ready to go. The timer was set and he rushed back to the others for the perfect shot.

What he didn’t count on was a ball bouncing down the hill he set the camera on, or Gilbert’s decision to be ‘helpful’ and kick it out of frame back the way it came. The ball veered to the right and struck the tripod, causing the camera to tumble. The timer ticked down and the shutter went off before the camera hit the ground, capturing the sight of Gilbert cheering to his right, Antonio laughing at the accident to his left, and Francis in the middle, dashing forward in the vain hopes of catching the camera.

It’s an image full of life, and the very picture that set Francis fully on the path to becoming the photographer he is today.

Before he can set the picture down again, the door flies open and the sound of manic laughter soon reaches Francis’s ears.

“Hey Franny! What you still doing sitting there?” Gilbert calls, grinning like a mad man as he steps in.

Francis looks up in confusion for a moment, before he spies Antonio through the doorway.

“Merde! Is it that late already?” He curses, looking at his watch.

“Yup!” Gil beams, “So get your butt out of that chair and let’s go drinking!”

“Ah,” Francis shakes his head sadly, “Sorry, but I still haven’t finished here, and the deadline is tonight.”

Before he can apologise further, Toni waves away his worries, “We thought you might say that, so I had a word with Lovi, and we both agreed to give you an extension, so no worries!”

Francis chuckles, shaking his head at the pair.

Of course, he should have expected as much. Not many people are as lucky to work for their best friend.

“Well then, what are we waiting for?”

“That’s the spirit!”

“Ja, now let’s go hit the bars!”

X

Francis knows he should be trying to enjoy himself, but he can’t stop feeling bogged down with this new inexplicable loathing for his work, and he hates that he hates it.

“Aww cheer up Fran,” Toni chirps, waving the bar tender over to order him another drink.

“Ja,” Gil nods, trying to act sagely as he clumsily claps the blond on the back, “It’s not like you to be this down. It’s weirding me out.”

“If you need a change of pace, Gil could always model some stuff again.”

“Damn right I could! You know I make anything look hot.”

“No,” Fran sighs, running a hand through his hair, “Thanks, but I don’t think even Gil’s eccentricities can get me out of this slump.”

Toni hums in thought, though how clear such thoughts are is questionable at this point, “Maybe you just need something new, like last year with the spring wardrobe change? Though I don’t think I could take another of Lovi’s tantrums…”

“Just get a new model.” Gil slurs slightly, taking another swig of his beer before continuing, “I mean, no dummkopf pretty boy will be as good as me, but can’t hurt to try right?”

“Gil has a point,” Antonio nods, sipping at his own drink, “that’s what you used to do at the old studio, right?”

Francis shook his head, frowning at his drink, “No, I mean yes, but, it’d be impossible. Even if I could find someone to model, there’s no way I could reshoot all of Lovino’s line by next week. I’d have to work 24/7 solid to get it done, and you know how fickle the makeup department is. It’s impossible. I’ll just have to… make… do?”

Francis trails off, his attention drifting to the other end of the bar where an argument seems to be getting out of hand.

He can just about see a head of scruffy blond hair slumped across the bar, and another taller blond trying, and failing, to pull the slumped man up.

“FUCKING PISS OFF!” An accented voice heavily slurs as the smaller man tries to push the other away.

“Dude, Artie, come on. It’s time to go.” The tall one sounds frustrated, but is doing well to stay calm.

“A said Fuck OFF, am still drinkin’ h’re!”

“No your not,” the bar tender cuts in, frowning disapprovingly at the drunk man, “I cut you off half an hour ago. Now will you please leave before I call the police.”

“Whoa, no need for the cops dude, I can handle him.” The tall blond grins nervously, before switching to a more direct approach.

Francis, and by now most of the bar, watch as the young man stuffs his hands under the drunks armpits, forcefully lifting him up off the bar and pulling back to remove him from the stool. It goes well for about five seconds, before the drunk man seems to realise what’s happening and tries to pull away. The ensuing scuffle sends them down the bar, and, by a bout of bad luck, the drunk man tumbles free of his helper/captor to land in Francis’s lap.

Bloodshot green eyes look up at him in dazed confusion for a second, before rolling over to vomit down Francis’s trousers.

Francis is fairly certain it’s the booze talking, but as he watched this man puke, he saw a glow, and just like that, to the sound of retching and the disgusting warmth running down his legs, he’d found his new inspiration.

“Oh shit! Dude I am so sorry!” The young man cried as he pulled the sick man to his feet.

Downing the last of his drink, Francis stood, beaming as he helped to steady the drunk and proclaimed, “Your hired!”

X

At exactly 11am the next morning, Francis eagerly paced the studio, making last minute adjustments to the lighting, before nearly jumping in glee at the sound of the door buzzing.

Hurrying over to the intercom, he excitedly asked, “Hello?”

His excitement however, was met with a far more cautious and nervous voice, “Yes, Hello? My name is Arthur, I, Uh, believe you made a job offer last night? The card said to come here so…” the voice trails off, but Francis is far to excited to pick up on it’s unease.

“Oui! Oui, come on up!” He calls, happily buzzing the man in.

It only takes a few minutes for a knock to come at his door, and Fran near pulls it off it’s hinges in his rush to open it. But any words he had prepared leave him in a rush of air as he lays eyes on the man before him.

The sloppy drunk in a ratty old band tee, jeans, and heavy jacket that was hanging off of him last night has been completely replaced. Instead what stands before him is a neat, casual suit wearing man, who stands straight and clean shaven. Though the hair remains the same, and what was confused green eyes, now stare back at him with weariness behind dark sunglasses that some how go with the suit.

So this is Arthur Kirkland when not drunk out of his mind, Fran thinks.

It’s only when Arthur coughs does Francis notice he’s been ogling him for far too long and is now making things uncomfortable.

He quickly smiles to recover, stepping back and waving a hand to welcome him in.

“Please, come in, Mr. Kirkland.”

There’s a moment of uncertainty before he does, and Fran sighs in relief.

“Um, so what is it exactly you wanted to hire me for?”

Now Francis realises why Arthur sounds so unsure, and he chuckles at his own blindness.

“Ah, I suppose you were rather, incapacitated last night, though I thought your friend, Mr. Jones? would have explained everything to you?”

Arthur seems to frown at the mention of his friend as he looks around the studio, “Alfred left early for work, all he left me was a note and your card. Not exactly much to go on.”

“Ah well, in that case, allow me to explain. My name is Francis Bonnefoy, I am a photographer for the fashion magazine Project Tomato. And what I want you to do, Mr. Kirkland, is model for me.”

“Model?”

Oh, Francis doesn’t like the way he said that, as if the very notion was ridiculous. He has to save this, and fast. Time to pour on the charm.

“Why of course! You see, back before I started working for PT, I was an independent photographer, and part of my work was finding fresh new faces to be models, so I know when I see potential.” He grinned, pausing to try to gauge Arthur’s reaction before continuing, “Don’t worry, we won’t do anything too taxing on your first day. We’ll start of easy with a simple white drop background and something light and easy to wear, maybe a few costume changes later on, but nothing big.”

“I’m sorry,” Arthur blinked, shaking his head like he’s trying to understand what’s going on, “but you want me to model?”

Trying not to show his worry that he might lose his one shot at new inspiration, Fran smiles warmly, “Yes, that is what I said.”

“Me? Model?”

Fran sighs, now getting frustrated with this circling.

“Yes. You. What about that is so hard to understand?”

He doesn’t mean to sound so sharp, but he really needs Arthur to agree.

Arthur looks around at the studio again, this time clearly taking in all the pictures, and if Francis didn’t know any better, he’d say Arthur almost looks scared.

“But aren’t models supposed to be…” he trails off.

“Supposed to be what?”

“Never mind. You said the pay would be good? Or Al’s note said that…”

Finally getting somewhere, Fran beams, “Yes, very.”

“Alright then.” Arthur sighs, before directing his full attention to Francis, “What do I have to do?”

X

Francis can easily say that Arthur is by far the most difficult model he’s ever had to work with, and for some unknown reason, that delights him. He hates the makeup and hair designers, he refuses to wear any shorts, or sleeveless shirts without a jacket to cover his arms, and he absolutely won’t let anyone near him when he changes. He’s grumpy, demanding and unreasonable. He’s an unpleasant spanner in the once smooth running machine of Francis’s studio.

And that makes him perfect.

He’s not play-doh, or clay, he’s a rock. No, a gemstone, a diamond in the rough. It’ll be tough, but with time, Francis is certain he can polish him to shine greater than any model before him.

But more than that, Francis finds himself drawn to him. He doesn’t remember the last time his camera was so draw to something, when one, twenty, forty photos was never enough.

And when the day’s shoot is over, never has he been more afraid of a model deciding this wasn’t for them, or chased after someone to beg to know that they’ll come back the next day.

And never has he been so happy when they said yes.

[deeafrotailmisstress]

Bacon and Bar Fights

((A super fun RP with Jazz makin’ friends with an ex-dominion dude called Braiden! :D It was super fun and @datela-vodenit​ is a super chill person so I highly recommend checking out their blog and art! Hope you have fun reading this as much as I did RPing it!))

Braiden Sabius sat down at the bar, tired from a long day of traveling, waving to the bartender, “A strong one for me.”

He only had a moment to enjoy the silence before a small woman with big hair kicked open the doors with a loud yell “Oi Barkeep,” she marched up to the bar carrying a big bag full of goods and with a wide smile ordered, “Biggest meatiest meal ya got on the menu for me, t’anks!”

She sat down with her feet kicking happily in the air, not really taking notice of the man beside her and simply looked around absorbing her environment. Braiden flinched for a moment, shifting his seat aways from  her, waiting for his drink. Unfortunately for him Jazz noticed his movement from the corner of her eye and snuck a peek at him before she asked with a grin, “Hey, ya gonna eat dat?”

Braiden looked at the plate of cheese the woman was pointing to; it looked like it had been sitting out for a while. He shook his head, “Uh, I wouldn’t even touch that. That’s got ‘you’re going to have a terrible night’ written all over it.”

The barkeep finally slid him his drink and Braiden quickly took a sip - avoiding eye contact. Jazz’s eyes widened worriedly. She shuffled away from the plate and closer to Braiden with a cringe, “Oh nono, I don’ want dat kinda night, I wanna celebrate tonight!”

She patted him on the shoulder roughly with a grateful dimpled smile, “T’anks fo’ da heads up! Ya gots a name fella?”

The weary traveler’s eyes widened as he flinched from the sudden contact. He shifted on the barstool in worry, “I-It’s um...Callen...The name’s Callen.”

Jazz’s smile, somehow, gre even wider as she repeated, “Callen...d’az a nice name!” She jutted out a hand, “Da name’s Jazz! Friends call me Jazzy or Shorty, enemies call me little shit, but ya can take ya pick, I don’ mind!”

The stranger looked at the hand for a moment then her face before he gave her a nervous smile and hesitantly shook it. “It’s nice to meet you Jazz.” He eyed the baggage she carried for a moment, “You seem to be on quite a journey. Is that all yours?”

Jazz hauled up her bag and patted it proudly, puffing her chest as she bragged, “Jus’ some stabbies and punchers I made meself. YA WANNA SEE?!” She asked and leaned in eagerly towards ‘Callen’.

He squinted in confusion. “Stabbies and punchers?” He mouthed to himself.

“Yeah! Stabbies -” The big haired woman reached into her bag and pulled out a long, silver dagger with a bronze handle that still looked unfinished, but very much sharp, “-And punchers!” She then reached in and pulled out a set of knuckle brasses of very discerning designs, one of them encased in very sharp spikes. Braiden looked on in shock at the sight. He carefully took the dagger from her and studied it.

���Not bad,” He grinned, tossing it around in his hand. “While I wouldn’t call them...ah, stabbies, it feels fairly comfortable. Still needs some work, the handle feels too light for its size.” He handed it back to her.

Jazz groaned exaggeratedly, “Ugh I knoow, Olka tells me I still needs ta work on the kinda metals I use, but I’m still pretty new to dis metal-workin’ shit. But!” She jutted a thumb behind her with an acomplished smirk “I gonna meet up wid some customers ‘round here who asked for my stabbies, an’ now Jazz gonna ‘treat mah self’~” She chirped the last phrase with a sing-song voice and gasped with glee when her plate finally arrived.

Braiden couldn’t help but snicker at her enthusiasm. “I’m sure whomever they are, they’ll be happy with their ‘stabbies and punchies’.” He eyed the food as well, but tried to resist stealing from her plate and took another sip of his drink to distract himself.

“Aw man, I sure hope so, but either way, Jazz gonna eat!” She rolled up her sleaves before grabbing a leg and took a bit bite. It became obvious very quickly this woman was not one to eat daintily in public as she ripped a large chunk of meat and skin aggressively off the bone before swallowing whole. “Whasha doin’ roundeez pars’ frien’?” She asked ‘Callen’ around a mouthful of food.

He wiped away a stray crumb off his face from Jazz’s talking and answered “Just stopping by for a treat. I’ll be out of here as soon as I finish this.” He took another sip of the drink and looked down at the table, tapping at it anxiously.

Jazz blinked owlishly at the tiny cup in his hand and swallowed around her large bite. “But. Ain’cha gonna get somethin’ else? How ya jus’ gonna have a tenny drink when it be feast time?!” She asked ignorantly with an incredulous wave of her hand.

Braiden raised a brow at her for a second. He reached into his pocket and slammed a few copper pieces on the table. “Unless there’s a menu item I’m not seeing that costs two pieces, the drink is the only thing I can get.”

The feasting lady froze as she finally connected the dots. “Ooooooh I’m a dick.” Jazz smacked herself on the forehead with a groan, muttering to herself “Stupid stupid stupid, gotta pay attention to dis shit!” Feeling bad that she had been eating so loudly next to him too, she sheepishly glanced at her companion. It wasn’t really in Jazz’s nature to ever share any of her food, but due to her own faults, she told herself to ‘suck it up’ and grabbed a napkin before shoving the smallest piece off of her plate to him.

Braiden eyed the leg, looking between her and the piece of food. He thought it would have been more polite to refuse the gesture, but at the sound of his growling stomach, he sighed and hastily took it; eating it as messily as Jazz did.

“...Damn, ya really was hungry!” She couldn’t help but laugh before getting back to her own plate and chirping “Ya welcome!”

The hungry traveler swallowed the rest of his food and wiped his mouth, a little embarrassed he had acted so barbarically. “Ahem, yes, thank you. I should’ve said that before.” Braiden looked around the bar once more, fidgeting with his drink glass. “I should probably get going now.”

Jazz didn’t notice his nervous demeanor and simply guffawed, “Whaa-? Da night’s still young dude, jus’ stay an’ chill a while! We’ll even have a treat day together, how about it!” She grinned excitedly and grabbed his shoulder “Jazz got da monies now, so I’ll jus getcha somethin’ too, tonight we’ll feast like food bros!” She didn’t wait to hear what he had to say before calling the Ekose for another plate.

Braiden was reduced to a stuttering mess at her sudden generosity, he tried to refuse her, “I-I can’t stay! I really have to go! There’s uhm p-places, yes places for me to-” Before he could get out another word, another plate of food was set down on the table. “To… To… ah…” He looked at the door then to the food. He mulled it over in his head and sat back down slowly, “Just one more round.”

His new ‘food bro’ snickered “Atta boy!” Jazz got another devious idea and smiled mischievously at Braiden. “Betcha I can finish deez faster than you!” She challenged and in her excitement slammed both her fists onto the counter at the ready.

Braiden eagerly smiled and matched her excitement, “You’re on!” He reached for the first piece when the doors to the bar swung open. He turned to glance at the newcomers and immediately turned away. “Shit…” He cursed.

Three men entered the bar, one short, one tall and the other average. They scoped the bar until their eyes landed on Jazz. The three of them slowly approached her and the average sized man greeted her, “Ah, are you our contact for tonight?”

Jazz quickly shoved a rib into her mouth and was about to gorge onto their feasts like there was no tomorrow until she whirled around and blinked at the man with a confused hum. An espernetic light bulb went off above her head however as she realized who these men were. She cheered a garble of words around her food with both fists raised into the air.

She quickly swallowed her food before waving her arm at the gents, grinning at her companion “Yo dude, it’s mah customers I was tellin’ ya ‘bout!”

Braiden continued to hide his face from this familiar group of men. He stood swiftly and turned in the direction of the bathroom, “Excuse me.” The hand of the leader caught his arm, “Hold on a second there, cowboy.”

“Why don’t you stick around,” The man said. “You might be of use to us.” He leaned in close to Braiden’s ear and whispered “Traitor.”

Jazz glanced at each of the men curiously, not sure who she should be focusing on “Ya know dees fellas Callen? Boy ya sure get around!”

All of the hunters laughed at Jazz, the shorter one asking Braiden “‘Callen’? Is that the name you gave her? You can come up with better names than that!”

The taller man growled eagerly and took up one of the ‘stabbies’ from Jazz’s bag. “Luckily you’re here, face ache. Perfect timing to be our test dummy!” The leader held out a hand “We’re not here to kill ‘im, just to collect him remember?”

The leader looked to Braiden and smirked “Look, you ready to come quietly or make this as difficult as last time, Sabius?”

Braiden glared at the men for a moment, then to Jazz, then back to the leader, “I’m no traitor, I’m not something to collect, and I’m definitely not going to let you poke me with that thing.” He looked to Jazz and motioned for her to leave, “Get out of here, I’m sorry this had to ruin your dinner…”

Jazz didn’t understand what was so funny until one of the men took out her blade and their interactions slowly started to make sense. Afterall, she was in an almost exact situation not too long ago. She quickly grabbed the hand holding her blade and grinned, “Woah woah fellas, now Jazz ain’ too familiar wid dis whole situation…”

She gestured vaguely to...Savius? It certainly didn’t sound like an Exile’s name. “But it sure ain’ no reason fo’ ya to start stabbin’ my food buddy over here.” Her grip on the man’s arm did not align with her friendly demeanor.

The taller man grabbed Jazz by the collar, “Stay out of this, contact!” The smaller one nodded, “Just take the money and do as the traitor says, get out!” The leader then took Braiden’s arm and started to pull at him, “We’re getting our money’s worth out of you, Sabius, whether ya like it or not!”

Jazz’s espernetics started to act up subconsciously as she clutched onto the hands of the taller gentlemen, but unfortunately tripped over as her feet were still caught on the stool’s legs, “Oi oi, donchu grab Jazz or I’mma beat your ass senseless!” Braiden attempted to grab at the empty plate of ribs and tried decking it over the lead hunter’s head, but it was swiftly swatted away as he pushed Braiden down onto the bar.

“Trying to be sneaky, eh?” The leader raised one of the daggers above Braiden’s head, “You’re smarter than this!” Braiden stomped on the lead hunter’s feet, making him drop the dagger. He kicked the fiend away, making him crash onto a table.

Jazz grinned wildly, “Aw yeah, IT’S ASS-KICKIN’ TIME!” She reared her head back and slammed it right into her captor’s before dropping down and shaking her head. It hurt her too, but hey, at least she was free! She whipped out both her machetes from their sheaths and beamed “A’ight fellas, who wants ta go first!”

The shorter hunter, shaken from Jazz’s battle cry, attempted to have at her with his own sword, but she easily dodged his swing without a sweat. Seeing Jazz occupied, the taller one went for Braiden and snatched his neck, throwing him towards the back of the room. Braiden managed to recover, but only had time to dodge another attack from the giant brute.

Quickly looking up at Briaden Jazz cried out, “Ah shit, sorry bro!” She quickly tried to throw her blade at one of the hunters to help her friend, but missed horrible and landed in the fireplace. Her left eye twitched as she growled, “Ugh for the love of-!” She got cut off by another swing from the shorter gent and quickly dodged out of the way again. He cackled at her failure and tried to slash at Jazz again, but in his fit of laughs he only landed a small scratch on her.

The giant gang member slid his foot on the ground like a bull and readied himself to charge at Braiden. He let out a cry and charged, but Braiden took one leap over him and the hunger smashed into the wall. In a rush of energy, Braiden grabbed a small stool and threw it at the smaller hunter, making him stagger slightly but not down just yet. Getting up from the table, the leader tried to punch back at Braiden. Braiden caught his fist and returned the punch to the leader.

Seeing the smaller one knocked down momentarily, Jazz grinned, “Woah, nice one dude!” When the leader approached however, her instincts took over. Blue flames encompassed her fists and without thinking she roared “Oi, DON’T TOUCH FOOD BRO!” And bashed it right into the back of the leader’s skull. The blow was finally enough for their enemy to fall unconscious to the floor.

Completely forgetting about her previous adversary, the smaller hunter latched onto the back of Jazz and tried to scratch at her a few times but was immediately met with an angry backhand from the fiery esper as she growled “Boy sit down, Jazz ain’ dealin’ wid yo’ ass right now.”

Braiden approached the downed leader, leaned down and whispered “Can’t wait ‘till next time, buddy. See ya ‘round.” Once that was over and done, Braiden smiled at Jazz and nodded, leaving for the door. She wasn’t paying attention however, her mind currently occupied by the blue flames that flickered across her hands. Her panicked eyes clenched shut as she held her head and deeply breathed in and out, remembering the calming exercises Olka taught her. Once they finally calmed down, she looked up to find Braiden leaving. She yanked him back by the collar and pointed her other machete at his neck threateningly.

“Oh no ya don’, ya gonna explain some shit ta Jazz.” She growled at him.

Shocked for a moment, Braiden gave in and nodded at her. “I guess you deserve one. But can we do it somewhere else? I don’t want to hang around for these guys to wake up.”

Jazz narrowed her eyes at him, but nodded reluctantly and lowered her blade. She followed after Braiden but not before kicking the poor small hunter in the nuts while spitting on him. “Fuckin’ rude-ass shitheads interruptin’ my goodass meal.” She grumbled.

Once they were outside, Braiden took a deep breath and began, “Okay. So my name is not ‘Callen’, it’s Braiden. I have a bounty on my head for charges that I’m accused of with the Dominion. As you have seen, I can’t have that, so… I ran away… It’s been years.”

There was a really long pause before Jazz suddenly barked a loud laugh and let out a releaved breath, “Hah, dude was dat all?! Jeez, ya got me here thinkin’ dat you’re some freaky-ass child murderer criminal dat I accidentally gave food to!” She put away her blade and scratched the back of her neck sheepishly “Truth be told I totally gets ya, Jazz been runnin’ away fo’ quite a while too...still runnin’ actually.”

She shuckled meekly before smirking, “Braiden though? D’az a cool name too I guess. An’ real quick bro, ya kicked ass pretteh well, an’ dis is coming from the amazing Jazz!”

Braiden laughed nervously along with her until she told her story. He nodded and smiled “I’m just glad we didn’t have to fight whoever’s after you. And thanks, you fight real good too, I certainly didn’t expect you to be an...ah…” He tried to make fiery motions.

“...A badass lean mean fightin’ machine?” Jazz flipped back her long curls with a cocky grin “Yep, I know. It comes wid da awesome hair, what can I say?” She was about to grab her bag when she fiddled with her other blade sheath and winced “I...probably oughta grab my Krog-Killer from da fire…”

“B-but...he was my favorite…” She pouted very sadly at the door.

Her friend grinned at her remark and turned towards the bar “I don’t think it’s worth it at this point.” He turned back to her and held an open hand to her, “Thanks for the help...and the food...Even if you did eat most of it.”

Jazz blinked when he held out his hand. She snorted in a very unlady-like manner and pointed at his hand with a smirk, “Dude, ya kiddin’ me? Put dat thing away.” Instead she spread her arms out with a grin that threatened to rip her face in half “C’meeeeere!” And without warning put both her arms around his waist in a tight hug and even lifted him up a bit with a happy laugh, “Ya kicked ass wid me in a bar fight! That officially makes ya a certified Jazz friend dude!”

Braiden tried bracing himself for the hug, but let himself get crushed under Jazz’s bear hug. He let out a wheeze and lightly patted her back, “Heh, I’m-” he coughed “- glad! Maybe we could kick ass-” he heaved “-some other time!”

Jazz gasped enthusiastically with a very bright beam as little joyful espernetic swirls of yellow bounced around her head, betraying her excitement “REALLY?! Dat’d be great I can’ wait ta- Oh wait shit lemme put ya down now.” She quickly placed him back on the ground and patted his back awkwardly, worried that she broke a bone.

Her friend brushed himself off and took deep breaths. “Well, this is goodbye for now Jazz. Oh, and do me a favor, don’t do business with those shitheads again.” He warned playfully.

“Nope, I ain’t takin’ money from those wank-stains again. ...But I be goin’ in dere for Krog-Killer soooooo…” She gave Braiden a thumbs up before rolling up her sleeves grinning “Back ta kickin’ ass, takin’ blades and leavin’ dis joint! Don’ be a stranger Brai-bro!” And with that she turned around and marched determinedly towards the bar with a violent twinkle in her eye.

Braiden gave one last shake of his head, still smiling, before walking off.

[ask-svt-hearteu]

Hogwarts! S. Coups

Anon requested: "Omfg, i LOVE your writtings! Can you do a Seungcheol hogwarts!au? I'm dying for one" and "can you do the hogwarts au for scoups?" and "Hello!! can you do a Hogwarts Scoups????? Thank you so much and your blog is wonderful💕"

Genre: fluff

Word Count: 3007

Fifth year gryffindor

Also a prefect and the quidditch team captain

Seungcheol is liked by all the teachers too

He just naturally has that “I’m a leader” vibe

Which makes sense since he literally shouts sometimes on the quidditch field

“I’M THE CAPTAIN SO YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME”

Honestly a dork and a sweetheart though

Even all the girls swoon when he walks by

He doesn’t really notice how his uhhh

Lip bites and winking and beautiful smile

Just gets all the girls to have heart eyes

the most reliable prefect ever

he's known to give quite a few detentions out for those who are out past curfew

and likes teasing Joshua about just letting people go

and likes joking around with Jeonghan about prefect powers

he doesn't mess around that one lol

There was a rumor

That he once broke up an underground duel between the houses

Some stupid sixth years and some younger kids were hexing each other or something

And he stopped them by challenging the kids there to duel him

even though he was younger than a few

And they were like pssssshhhh we can take this old man prefect

Oh boy was that stupid and wrong

They all ended up sore from being hexed like crazy

some of them had to go to the infirmary

And with detention

Cleaning up the bathrooms no magic

and taking care of the magical creatures

especially their ahem excrement

And even the teachers couldn’t stop laughing and didn’t punish Cheol for the usage of his prefect powers

But that’s just a rumor

Probably

you don't mess with Seungcheol

Obviously his best class is charms and defense against the dark arts

He wants to be an auror when he graduates from hogwarts

And he probably will be too

everyone can see it

since he protects younger students from being bullied

and he's really good at hexing people

He’s also sort of the unofficial dad / leader of his friend group

you know the one everyone knows

Which is really entertaining

bc have you seen Cheol trying to keep those 12 boys in check?

It’s hilarious tbh

all the kids screaming and joking and messing around

and Seungcheol just shaking his head and trying to calm all of them down at one time

But he does a pretty decent job

When food isn’t flying through the air and stuff isn't exploding 

Can be heard yelling across the dining room by all four houses

“If you throw the shepard’s pie one more time Seungkwan….”

“Soonyoung! Stop! Hexing! The! Peas! To! Dance!”

“Minghao stop pulling on Jun’s robes, NO ONE NEEDS THIS AT 7AM IN THE MORNING”

Joshua and Jeonghan just casually sipping their pumpkin juice

Like yea we’re prefects too and should probably help

But Seungcheol’s got this

But no haha

Those three fifth years baby their friends so much

always nagging to do their hw and eat and take care of themselves

It’s hella endearing

because you'd think they were actually all brothers or a family

The way they talk together, you’d really think those three are actually parenting ten children together

“I just helped Chan finish his potions paper, I'm exhausted what a day.”

“Don’t you mean Chan helped you with your potions paper Jeonghan?”

“SHHHHH Shua!!!”

“I just put Vernon back in his dormitory for like the fifth time, he and Seungkwan were planning something”

“Seungcheol, Seungkwan is back in his bed in the hufflepuff dormitory now too don’t worry”

“Last thing we need is another exploding pumpkins accident”

“Jeonghan, we said we’d never talk about that incident ever again.”

Seungcheol is always scheming game plans for quidditch in some empty classroom

drawing diagrams of the field on chalkboards and discussing stuff with the others

Or doing hw in the library with Jeonghan napping next to him and Joshua sitting on his other side discussing classwork or the upcoming quidditch game

And although Josh is on an opposing team

Tbh they have so much fun playing around and challenging each other

even when they play against each other

they've been seen to high five each other when the opposite team scores

and throw combined victory parties

just because they're those kind of friends

supportive to the end

it's not all about winning but having fun playing the game

though winner gets bragging rights and then it's a full-on roast session between their teams lol

These three friends man

So surprised when they were all selected to be prefects

Like who’s genius idea was it to put all of us together

But tbh they work really well together

Because they’re caring parents lololol

using their prefect powers to keep all the younger kids in check

it's tiring but worth it in their opinion

Seungcheol doesn’t really get that much sleep sometimes

Always trying to keep up with schoolwork and quidditch practice and prefect business

But he works his hardest

And Josh offers to help him too

Even though Joshua has even more crap to do than Seungcheol

The 95 line are always seen staying up pretty late to do stuff together in the library

And while the younger kids in their frien group go out and about on weekends

The three of them study

When Jeonghan isn’t napping that is

and Josh isn't off doing frog chorus or tutoring other kids with the help of a time-turner

And tbh Seungcheol should get more sleep

or at least

that was your initial thought when he caught you out past curfew one night

“Y/n?”

You were a fifth year gryffindor too

And you had all your classes with him

But imagine your surprise when you found out he knew your name

Crazy really

Again everyone in school knows the 13 boys in that friend group

And honestly who wouldn’t notice 13 guys who happened to be the best of friends and also really good-looking

But them knowing your name? Surprise indeed

But you had fallen asleep doing your transfiguration paper in an empty classroom

you had been planning on going back before curfew but

It really hadn’t been your evening

You had dropped your charms paper in the toilet

And you had fallen asleep in countless classes

Much to the annoyance of your friends when you asked them for notes

And you had skipped dinner to study for the history of magic exam

and Seungcheol was known as one of the prefects that doled out detention bc he was supposed to

bc he didn't want to break the rules

and you knew this

yet

As crappy as you felt

One look at Seungcheol and you could see the dark circles under his eyes

He was probably just as exhausted as you were

And you felt kinda bad because you relate to the struggle

But at the same time you don’t want detention

“Seungcheol! Heeeeeyyyy uhhhh! So I know I’m out past curfew, but I was doing my transfiguration paper and I didn’t understand anything and I was ready to have a mental breakdown and sooooo…”

You closed your eyes slightly anticipating the huge detention Seungcheol was about to serve up when

“If you need help, I'll see if I can help you.”

And you opened your eyes to see a smiley Seungcheol

And honestly it was as if the moonlight hit the spot where he was standing just right bc damn was he cute //COUGH COUGH// I MEANT HURRAY FOR SAVING YOUR TRANSFIGURATION GRADE

you thought it'd be detention for sure, and you didn't have the time for detention

but he sat on the desk next to you and proofread your paper

“It sounds right except you could elaborate more on the proper wand techniques for this spell which will help you reach the page length requirement

And at some point he pulled out a paper he still had to finish for history of magic

and you both kind of just naturally fell into doing your work together

And you both started quizzing each other

passing notes and books back and forth easily

And the scratching of quills on paper sounded throughout the classroom

It was productive and a lot of trying to get everything done but peaceful

The both of you just getting work done

“You’re really going to let me off without detention?” you asked him again pushing it a bit

“I’ll let you go this one time.” he chuckled not looking up from his paper

“That’s a relief, I’ll work in the common room from now on promise.”

“I’ll hold you to it y/n.”

And you both could have returned to the common room then

and you probably would have

but the two of you were just so tired

and had not been sleeping well because of upcoming exams

of course you should have returned to the dormitory when Seungcheol found you

But uhhh

No

That’s not exactly what happened

You fell asleep

The both of you did

Next to each other

Heads on the desk

really close, inches apart really

Arms grazing each others and the shuffling of the papers as your heads laid on top of the books

And when you woke up……

Seungcheol was still sleeping next to you

You might or might not have jumped fifty feet in the air while biting your lips to stop screaming

As you gathered your stuff and looked at the time

Breakfast

you couldn't be late!!!! and neither could a prefect

but you felt weird

do you wake him up?!?!?!

“Seungcheol!!! Get up classes start soon!!!!!”

And the rest of that day was hella awkward

With Seungcheol and you catching each other’s eyes every three minutes or so

And blushing

And looking away immediately

him sort of having his eyes widen in a really cute way

With Jeonghan and Joshua eyeing the two of you suspiciously

and you just turning away and talking to a friend

or inserting yourself into a convo to avoid staring at Seungcheol

and banging your head on the table when his sleeping face came up in your thoughts

get a grip you yell at yourself

And from that little

Ahem "study session"

Fate made it really easy for yours and Seungcheol’s paths to cross

You’d be sitting with a friend from ravenclaw and Wonwoo shows up out of nowhere with Seungcheol and Jun behind him

And before you know what you’re doing, you’re running down the hall and out the door to avoid him

EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE SCREAMING IN YOUR HEAD NOTHING HAPPENED SO WHY AM I AVOIDING HIM

And it’s not like he cared right?

or you'd be sitting outside doing hw

and he'd walk past with a couple of his friends

and you'd hide your face behind a book to avoid staring at him

and then you wouldn't see the little smile he had on his face as he looked back at you hiding

and the small chuckle he'd have

"What's funny hyung?"

"Nothing just,,, thought I saw someone"

or he'd sit by you in the library

and you'd have to control the urge to get up and just run away

and he'd just smile and stare dead ahead not meeting your eyes

and the both of you would wave to each other and then continue studying

Well anyway

You go up to the astronomy tower one evening

Because you needed a break from the cramped common room where everyone was studying for end of december exams

and low key trying to avoid Seungcheol too

it was weird

you couldn't help staring at him

the way his hair would lightly brush across his forehead

and the way he'd smile at you

GOSH DARN IT FOCUS Y/N

And you sat at the edge of the balcony and just laid your forehead against the cold railing

And took a deep breath

Exams were coming up

And you weren’t ready

But for now you wanted to forget the stress and just stare out at the sky

the sky was beautiful

the glow of the sunlight slowly giving way to the stars' glowing

And as you were slowly drifting into sleep

You hear a quiet voice

Someone was singing

And you peeped open an eye right in time

to see Seungcheol walking up the stairs

So naturally you do the one thing that all your years of being socially competent has taught you

And hid behind a telescope

Because reasons

And Seungcehol walked past you still quietly singing and sat down with a book and his paper

He looked tired

But he worked on his homework

And you sat admiring his voice

it was so nice and soothing

But uhhh you can’t just sit there forever right?

So you quietly clear your throat

Which makes Seungcheol jump like five feet in the air and instinctively yell

“PROFESSOR I SWEAR I ONLY CAME HERE TO AVOID WHATEVER IT IS JIHOON IS PLOTTING TO DO TO MINGYU RIGHT NOW.”

When he notices it’s just you and he sighs in relief

“Hey y/n”

And you awkwardly stand there like what

But he looks really tired

Like this is not ok

And you watch as he sort of falls

And you catch his head right as he falls asleep in your arms

DON'T PANIC

You sort of half drag him down the tower to the infirmary

“I HAVE A PERSON HERE”

And the nurse just stares at you like fam I don't endorse killing people

But she helps Serungcheol into a bed and tells you he’s just tired and needs sleep

But you’re hella worried and you find Joshua and Jeonghan

And drag them to the infirmary

And you kind of just motion like WHAT DO I DO

And they just shake their heads

“He does this once every year around exam time, he's just tired, he’ll be ok”

Them trying to reassure you even though of course they’re worried too

but they also have been plotting things

But you stay by his bed with Joshua and Jeonghan just staring at you before leaving to get Seungcheol's pajamas and stuff for him to stay overnight in the infirmary

And you fall asleep again

Next to Seungcheol

And you don’t wake up until you hear him say

“Here we are sleeping together again”

And you look up to see him smiling and looking well-rested and HEYO NO DARK CIRCLES

“CHOI SEUNGCHEOL I WAS WORRIED OUT OF MY MIND!” you scream

ligtly smacking his arm bc he worried you

But you smile bc gosh darn it he’s ok!!!!

And as you’re about to scold him again

He hugs you

Without any warning

And you freeze up blushing

Until you just sort of hug him back

and it's just you in his arms for a few seconds

“Thanks for taking me to the infirmary.” he laughs

“UH yea no problem, you would have done the same for me, bud.”

Did you just call Seungcheol bud

What

Was

Wrong

With

You

He laughed and let go

“You’re cute y/n.”

You looked up in surprise at his comment

“Hmmm?”

Seungcheol blushed and scratched the back of his head

“I dunno you just are.”

“Super specific thanks, Cheol.” you giggle

“Heh, idk just you sleeping in classes and still trying to work your butt off for exams, it’s cute.” he smiled at you

Your heart raced a bit faster

“You’re cute too.”

LMAO YOU NEED A SPELL TO STOP YOURSELF FROM SAYING EMBARRASSING THINGS

But Seungcheol just gave you a wide grin

“Do you wanna get a butterbeer or something?” he laughed blushing

“We don’t have time… but I’d love to get a pumpkin juice or something and study for that charms exam if you want to hang out…” you said blushing right back

“Sounds perfect.”

And you both talked together more and hung out a lot more too

And as you got to know him more

And as he got to know you more

The both of you started liking each other more

It was really cute and innocent and just everything

A lot of light flirting

A wink or blowing kisses lol

But even Joshua was low key impatient

“Just ask her to be your gf if you guys are a thing”

“Shua what the heck”

Jeonghan butting in

“JUST TELL HER TO BE YOUR LADY SO I CAN STOP CLAWING MY EYES OUT EVERY TIME YOU WAVE AT HER”

“DIDN’T I TECHNICALLY ALREADY ASK HER OUT?”

“NO CHEOL NOT EXACTLY.”

And so they pushed him to get you flowers

And then it was official official

No more of this flirty and playful nonsense

Instead it was full on holding hands

And sometimes he’d give you a piggy-back ride across the school grounds

Just cuz

everyone is like finally our dad has someone

even if you aren't ready to mom twelve other kids LOL

Jeonghan low key trying to sit between you and Seungcheol just so he can tease him

and Joshua just dying at the cuteness of you two

WHICH IS DESERVED BC HIM AND HIS GF ARE TOO DAMN CUTE TOO

and the two of you always are studying together

or eating meals together

or sitting together during classes

those prefect powers sometimes has perks

all the kids begging you to convince Seungcheol to turn the other way and not give them detention

but he doesn't budge an inch

"I could still give you detention for being out past curfew that night a long time ago, are you really asking me to lift the punishment of others?"

"AHh that's not fair!"

"It's not fair they're tring to use my girlfriend against me."

"Got me there, Cheol"

and just everyone thinks the two of you act like an old married couple

bickering together

but also eating the same meals

And when the two of you would fall asleep on the couch together in the common room after a late night study

No one could ever say anything

Bc too cute

Plus it wouldn't be the first time the two of you fell asleep together

The Seventeen Hogwarts AU Series: 

| S.coups | Jeonghan | Joshua | Jun | Hoshi | Wonwoo | Woozi | DK | Mingyu | Minghao | Seungkwan | Vernon | Dino |

MASTERLIST

[slashtrashqueen]

NOTE

the following text is directly copied and pasted from the article for my own reference convenience and I in no way claim authorship over anything written here

If I’m in your car, and we’re not in a hurry, chances are that at some point, I’m going to ask you to pull over so that I can solemnly poke a stick at a dead thing along the side of the road. If we’re in my car—which is usually equipped with nitrile gloves, hand sanitizer, and garbage bags—and the decedent is more structurally sound than a fetid fur pancake, you might want to brace for a smell or two.

I’m into roadkill. I get messages late at night about a beautiful fox in good condition by the side of a highway, and in the morning curse Morpheus himself that I slept through the precious window between warm death and Pollockian spatter. I once left a fat, pristine squirrel carcass on a tree stump next to my then-boyfriend’s car as a gift, like a lovesick cat; he later married me. My friends gave me a bird carcass in a cooler for my birthday.

Dead animals are my shit.

My interests in the subject span more than just a pathological curiosity about the macabre reality of mortality and a steadfast appreciation for the slippery mechanics of life: no, dear reader, I am also into crafting. And what better way to memorialize the fair critters who meet their untimely ends during some shitlord’s 2 a.m. taco run than to turn their dick bones into brooches?

(Don’t answer that.)

Maybe you’re into dead stuff, maybe you aren’t. But if you’ve ever marveled at a pelt, or browsed bone jewelry on Etsy, or wondered what the fuck a rotten squirrel smells like, then I am here for you. Welcome to DIY Death Crafts. Please wash your hands.

First off, a word on the legality of scooping broke-neck Bambi off the interstate. There are states where this is not, per se, legal. State wildlife and game commissions work to regulate who can hunt what and when, requiring licenses to take down specific animals during specific seasons using specific methods. For example, in North Carolina, where I live, hunting feral hogs on game lands is prohibited from one half-hour after sunset to one half-hour before sunrise, unless you have a special permit. Oh, and public nudity on game lands here is prohibited, so no shirtcocking during your pursuit of pork.

I’m allowed to pick up dead animals—North Carolina is pretty friendly to crafty Southerners with a penchant for road steak and possum stew—but other states have concerns that if Billy can’t shoot a feral hog wherever he wants, he’ll just hit it with his car and take it home anyway, or at least tell you that’s what he did if and when some poor government employee comes to scope out his freezer to check that those kilos of sausage had the appropriate papers. So, if you’d like to stay legal, before you grab that non-federally endangered, catastrophically brain-injured animal off I-95, double-check to see if you’re technically allowed to do so.

There’s also the question of safety.

When picking up dead things, it’s best to a) be prepared, and b) assume it’s infectious as shit with something terrible. Rabies is essentially 100 percent fatal, and wild animals are often heavily parasitized with nasty little bugs, so don’t tongue-fuck roadkill corpses or let your dog hump them or anything. I’m not about causing harm with this DIY, so please be aware of the legal and physical dangers, and play at your own risk. Also, if I find out that you hit an animal with your car on purpose for crafting, I will absolutely punch you in the throat should we meet.

That said, now that you are aware of the danger and legality of your actions, let us begin.

The author, in her element

Selecting Your Buddy

Obviously, what you are able to do with your ode to the destructiveness of humanity depends on the quality of the body that you find. The best case scenario is a warm, fresh death, still soft without rigor, preferably dead of brain injury and relatively intact. These are also, as you might assume, pretty damn rare. Fresh is preferred, as it’s easier to skin a warm animal: you can peel ’em like a banana.

However, if you’re scouting for bone crafts, which is what I’m covering today, it doesn’t matter so much. (Word of caution: if you are maggot-averse, you might want to err on the fresher side, but don’t freak out too much, as a lot of roadkill gets pancaked or eaten before the fly babies hatch.)

Find a carcass with some intact bones—preferably not too stinky, if that’s the kind of thing that bothers you—and if it looks like it was pretty healthy, recently deceased, and merely unlucky, you can proceed to step two. Also, if the smell is really bad—like, for instance, dead squirrels fucking STINK—a little Tiger’s Balm under the nostrils can make the drive home more pleasant.

Transportation

Here is where I like to cosplay CDC detective and get real serious about my safe-specimen-collection protocol.

Nah, just kidding, I use a trash bag and gloves. First, I use my gloved hands to examine the animal, because I don’t want a surfeit of weird raccoon fleas in my ancient Subaru, and also because I am curious to a fault and like to get up close with my new friend before I bring her home.

If the animal is small, I’ll just put it in the trash bag using my gloves. If it’s larger or awkwardly positioned in rigor mortis, I’ll take my gloves off, stick my arms into a garbage bag, grab the roadkill, then inside-out the bag around the corpse the way people pick up dogshit off the sidewalk.

Then just tie the bag off and go home. Please don’t forget there is a dead animal in your trunk. Learn from my mistakes.

Clean The Body

There are lots of ways to do get the bones out of your roadkill buddy. Personally, I use my dissection skills from college to skin the animal, remove the viscera with minimal damage to all the stinky guts, then strip most of the muscles from the bone is a fairly haphazard fashion. Alternatively, you can also just bury the body in a bucket full of dirt, preferably in warm weather and damp soil, and check on it on a few months, if it’s small. (Bonus points if you can bury it near an ant hill, which will expedite the process.)

For skinning, run your knife crotch to chin, trying not to pop the peritoneal sac full of viscera. Then, with gloves on, run your fingers between skin and muscle and just rip the two apart. From here, pull out the guts, hack off the muscle, and get ready to macerate. This isn’t precious work—there’s no one way to do it if you’re just wanting bones—so my suggestion is to watch some YouTube tutorials and fucking try it.

Macerate That Shit

Once you have mostly bone, put the bones in a bucket of water or a glass jar, close it—but not too tightly, as a lack of oxygen will slow down the process—put it in the sun, and leave it. This is called maceration, which is a sped-up rotting process whereby the bones are cleaned by bacteria. One handy tip, which works well for small carcasses but can be scaled up as needed, is to stuff the bones into some pantyhose for easy retrieval. I mean, unless you want to fish though the soup of liquified death for vertebrae. Your call.

After two days, change the water. You don’t have to change all of it, just dump out some of it and replace it, being careful not to use water that is too hot, as it will kill the bacteria that you are relying on to eat the body. As you do this, remember to enjoy the horrible smell that will happen! I love this part, probably because it makes people throw up. When you change the water, try to remove as much meat and fat and gross shit as possible; you want the bacteria eating food off the bones, not the greasy remains left in the death stew. Check again after another couple of days, and keep scooping shit out and replacing some of the water until the bones are clean. Could be as quickly as five days or so, and it probably won’t take more than two weeks for larger animals.

If the process seems to have halted, put the bones in a stock pot, simmer for about an hour, careful not to boil them, then restart the maceration process. This is a pretty hardcore step, as it’s gross and smells bad and you have to do it in your kitchen. But I figure you should know that the option is there.

Once the bones are clean, remove them and dry them carefully. Don’t dry them in the sun or the oven, as this can cause cracking.

Degrease and Bleach

For extra-pretty bones, degrease and bleach that shit. There are several ways to degrease, but my preferred lazy-girl way is soap and water. Stick the bones in a container of hot water and healthy amount of dish soap, and leave ’em for at least a week. There will be gross shit floating on top of the bone-soup when you are finished. Do not eat it.

Once the bones are clean, bleach ’em in a 4-percent hydrogen peroxide solution by soaking them for a day or two or three, whatever you need to get the visuals you like. Very important: the bleaching container should not be airtight, or it could explode! Chemistry, man. You can keep doing the bleaching step until the solution no longer foams when it comes into contact with the bones, usually about two or three times. Once they are nice and pale and clean, dry those babies on paper towels and get ready to get weird.

Annie Get Your Glue Gun

Congratulations, you have a pile of bones! Now get out there, crank up that glue gun, and tap that creativity like a maple tree. A few ideas for newcomers include gluing plastic gemstones all over a skull like some kind of fucked up death BeDazzler, making brooches from the bones that look the coolest and pretending you know which ones they are, gluing the bones together in an intractable mess that would make David Cronenberg weep, and—my personal favorite—leaving the whole jumbled disaster in a pile on your kitchen table and calling it art.

Death comes for us all, my friends; might as well make it beautiful.

Leigh Cowart is a freelance journalist covering sports, science, and sex. Her work has appeared in Vice, The Classical, and NSFWCORP, among other places. Follow her on Twitter @voraciousbrain. Not for the faint of heart.

Adequate Man is Deadspin’s self-improvement blog, dedicated to making you just good enough at everything. Suggestions for future topics are welcome below.