#get peter Parker mental health 2023

[starrykitty013]

Them being nerds is everything to me

[my-status-single]

The One Where Peter Parker Has a Baby: Chapter 1

He’s four. His name is Ben. He’s with Happy. They won’t let him run to him. He’s four. His name is Ben. He’s with Happy. He can’t go to him. He’s four. His name is Ben. He’s safe with Happy. He’s safe. His name is Ben. He’s four. He’s Peter’s.

She had been pregnant. 

It had been early. 

So early that it had been months before she even realised. Half of the universe disappeared, Peter included.

And months later she had given birth to their son.

Their son.

Ben.

Fic Summary: Mostly canon compliant fic that centres around the relationship of Tony Stark's daughter and Peter Parker.

From the Author: This is a Peter Parker/Reader fic. It jumps back and forth between the "present" (after the blip is reversed) and the past (pre blip reversal). The main focus is Peter and our girl Y/N, but there will be exploration into other relationships as well. These include but are not limited to Tony/Steve Peter/Harley Harley/Harry Peter/Harley/Harry Steve/Bucky Tony/Stephen. Each chapter will have content warnings listed that are specific to the chapter just for added security, there will also be a summary of the chapter if the content is something you don't want to engage with but would like to continue to the next chapter. There will also be a comprehensive list of warnings. The severity of these topics varies from very intense to simply implied. Be sure to check the individual chapters for more detailed descriptions of how these themes are used.

Fic Content Warning: Underage sex, unplanned pregnancy, teen pregnancy, polyamoury, child abuse/neglect, parental death, suicide, self harm, Tony Stark in Endgame Chapter Word Count: 1743 Chapter Summary: This chapter sets up the premise of the story. Touches briefly on Peter and Y/N's relationship, as well as introduces us to Y/N's powers. Chapter Content Warning: Teen regnancy/unplanned pregnancy-We discover that Y/N was pregnant during the blip. Peter and Y/N are in high school at this point. Blip-The Blip is a part of this series, the way Peter was blipped is mentioned Mentions of anxiety/depression-It is implied that Y/N struggled/struggles with mental health Parental death (not Tony)-Peter has dead parents Descriptions of injuries-After the battle with Thanos many characters are injured, Tony and Y/N's are discussed Medical themes-Tony and Y/N are in a medical centre, Y/N is in a coma

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Please, if there is ever something in this or any of my fics that you feel needs a content warning, feel free to message me and I will make sure to add it. I want this to be a safe place for everyone.

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Ao3 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

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May 2023

Peter has known her for as long as he’s known anything. 

Back before his parents died, they had been prominent members of the Oscorp Foundation. They worked directly with Norman, and so Peter grew up spending a lot of his time with Harry Osborn. Occasionally, though, there would be a collaboration between Oscorp and their largest competitor, Stark Industries. With S.I. came Tony Stark, and with Tony came his daughter. 

She was about a year younger than him and Harry but she held her own just fine. She was smart as a whip and full of fire. 

He’d been in love with her for longer than he knew what love was. 

They had taken such a liking to each other that Tony made the effort to get them together as often as possible. Eventually, moving them to New York full-time after Peter’s parents died. Tony made an effort to keep up the relationship even then. He did it for his daughter; she’d become so attached to Peter. And he had done the same. 

The sun rose and set with Y/N Stark as far as he was concerned. 

The bond between them grew as they did. They became halves of the same whole. One rarely without the other. He held her when she sobbed, broken and exhausted, after spending the court-ordered time with her mother. She calmed his overloads after he was bit. They knew each other instinctually. Better than they knew themselves in some ways. 

And yet, there was never anything romantic.

Until there was.

They both knew. When they’d grown old enough to understand what love, marriage, and dating were, they knew it was inevitable. That there was no Peter without y/n. 

And that is a very daunting thing to face at such a young age. 

And they understood that there would be no going back once they crossed that line. 

They knew they would cross it eventually. 

But they had all the time in the world to cross it. And now, when they were so perfect as friends, neither wanted to risk what they had. 

And so they didn’t.

There was flirtation that couldn’t be helped. There were touches that toed the line between platonic and romantic, touches that lingered. Nights where they would fall asleep next to each other and wake up in a state where you couldn’t tell where one started and the other ended.

But it never went further.

Until it did

They were good kids, really. Good students, excelling in their studies, involving themselves in extracurriculars, making a difference in their community. They were good avengers as well. They weren’t officially on the team, certainly were never put in harms way. But Tony allowed them to patrol the city in the evenings, and to train with the team at the compound on the weekends. They excelled there too.

But everyone has times when they just need a break.

It happened the first time during one of those breaks

.

They had finished midterms, Natasha had been kicking their asses in training for the last month, they were tired.

And so they snuck into the hangar and hacked one of the jets. Because she could override her father’s protocols without even blinking. Spain. She had wanted to go to Spain. He’d remembered her talking about it, so he puts in the coordinates and settles in for the ride.

They’ve shared a room, a bed, countless times at this point and yet somehow this is different. Somehow this leads to their mouths on each other and their virginities lost to each other.

Things change after that.

It takes a while for them to get over it. To admit “I want you” and “I always have” and “I don’t want to wait anymore”. But once they do, once they allow those walls to be broken down they are inseparable.

The funniest thing about the whole ridiculous situation is their behaviour barely changes. 

They simply kiss now. Because they already spent nights in the others bed, they already were always touching the other somehow, they already could read the others mind and anticipate their needs. So at school, no one noticed they were dating until Peter gave her a quick kiss before running off to some sort of internship activity.

Its been years now. They are perfect. Ideal. He loves her with everything in him. 

And that’s why, when the invasion starts, he webs her to the bed so she can’t follow after him as he goes toward the battle. 

Why he goes to the battle despite her screams, her begging, her pleading. Why his last words as he disintegrates in Tony’s arms, after pleading whispers of “I don’t want to go” are “I don’t want to leave her.”

He spends five years living a life with no memory of his previous one. No memory of her, of Tony, of Spiderman. 

When the dust finally settles after that final battle, he’s the one screaming, begging pleading. Because his girl, his brilliant, beautiful, reckless girl, simply refused to let her father die. 

She’s always had them. The powers, the enhancements, that were so graciously forced upon her by her mother. 

She hated them, hated why she ended up with them. But they gave her the ability to save Tony’s life, despite it being at nearly at the cost of her own.

He’s held back, not sure by whom. He hears Steve yell for assistance to get them both off the battle field and to get them immediate medical assistance.

Her powers are…complicated. 

Her ability to heal is incredible. Whether it be herself or others. But it comes at a cost. 

Healing takes energy. She’s able to choose, when healing injuries, whether to use the injured person’s energy or her own. The severity of the wound would usually influence her decision. 

She was comfortable using someone else’s energy for smaller things, scrapes, bruises, most of Peter’s injuries because of his own accelerated healing. But bigger things…she would use her own “Because I heal better” she would say. 

Like after he’d taken the weight of a building their sophomore year, she’d used her own energy to heal that. He watched the colour drain from her face, watched slashes and bruises come and go across her skin, watched her exhaust herself right in front of him as the pain eased from his body.

After a fight like this neither had the energy to heal something as severe as this. But she did it anyway.

She does heal better. Quicker, more efficiently. It’s hard to leave any kind of mark on her because her body just rids itself of it.

So she lay in a hospital bed, half dead, as her body begins to repair what should be fatal.

Tony was exhausted, on the brink of death, he’d had nothing left to use up. She herself had been spent. So she took, and she gave. She gave what little energy she had left to Tony and took as much pain and damage from him as she could. Took as much as she could until her body gave out.

Tony woke later that night. Exhausted. Badly scarred. Weaker than Peter had ever seen him. 

But alive.

Peter is sitting at her bedside now, holding her hand in his. Needing to feel that it’s warm, needing physical proof that she’s alive. He’s fading in and out of consciousness. Fighting sleep because he can’t risk something happening while he’s asleep. It would be a restless, nightmare filled sleep anyway.

“Tony, we shouldn’t be arguing about this; you’re exhausted; you need to rest. We can talk about this la-“ He can hear Steve’s voice in the next room.

“We’re talking about this now.” Tony responds. 

Peter, even with his heightened senses, can barely hear him. He tries to tune them out, focusing instead on her heartbeat. A comforting, familiar sound that lulls him into a sense of security. 

But the next words he hears make his blood run cold, and his head snap up.

“He’s my grandson. He’s likely scared. He can’t have his mother, so let me see him.” Tony sounds angry despite his severely weakened state.

“Tony…” Steve says gently. “Look at yourself. You’ll only scare him more. He’s my grandson too. Let me look after him.”

Peter takes a moment. 

Grandson. 

Tony has no biological children other than y/n. There is Harley…a boy Peter’s age that Tony had taken in when they were thirteen. They’d been fast friends. And…maybe Harley could have had a child in the five years Peter had been gone…except he’d been in the same place as Harley for the last five years, and there was no child. 

So…so that must mean that y/n had…that she’d had a child. 

Sometime in the last five years she’d moved on…gotten pregnant…had a baby? He shakes his head, his chest aches. His feet move before he’s fully aware of it. He walks into Tony’s room. He stands there silently, until Steve notices him.

“Peter.” He whispers, a sigh in his voice.

Peter laughs weakly, tears on his cheeks that have no right to be there. It had been five years, he had no right to have expected her to wait five years. “I um…” He clears his throat, sniffing. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop…it’s just so quiet here.” He says quietly.

“Kid ther-“ Tony starts but Peter holds up a hand.

“Don’t…don’t. It’s okay. You don’t need to defend…just…if there’s a way I can help? I could call his father, if someone hasn’t already or…or go pick up anything that he might need…or…or I can fuck off if you think that would be bett-“

“Peter.” Tony says as firmly as he’s capable of. Peter looks up. “Come sit. We need to talk.” He says, gentler now.

He’s four. His name is Ben. He’s with Happy. They won’t let him run to him. He’s four. His name is Ben. He’s with Happy. He can’t go to him. He’s four. His name is Ben. He’s safe with Happy. He’s safe. His name is Ben. He’s four. He’s Peter’s.

She had been pregnant. 

It had been early. 

So early that it had been months before she even realised. Half of the universe disappeared, Peter included.

And months later she had given birth to their son.

Their son.

Ben.

[shellxrls]

MISS YOU

summary: peter gets back from a mission. you should be happy, but all you can think about is how he grows to be less of the person you started loving with each passing day.

pairing: peter parker x gn!reader

warnings: angst / descriptions of bad mental health / unhappy relationships :(

peter's there. peter is actually there - stooped by your windowsill fiddling with some intricacies embedded in his suit - when you come back from your late night shift, exhausted and irritated by the smell of gas that followed you home.

"peter?" barely a whisper as you approach him tentatively, wary that the fumes you work with every day might be finally inducing hallucinations.

"hey," he nods at you, pupils not even lifting from the wires he was deftly reconnecting - a gesture laced with such a bare level of recognition that you wonder if maybe he doesn't realise he's been away for weeks, fighting in god knows where without so much as a call or a text telling you how he is or how long he'd be gone.

but you know better than to push him. he must be tired, exhausted even - harsh smudges of purple underneath his eyes indicating so - so you let it go.

"i," you pause, swallowing your rising saliva and fighting the prickling of tears against your waterline, "i missed you pete. i missed you a lot."

"missed you too baby."

he still doesn't look up.

part of your brain says it always like this. you ache for his warm body, the rough callous of his hands, his curls, when he's away. then he gets back. and he still has all of those things; he lets you use him as a radiator on particularly icy nights, lets you intertwine your fingers with his, and he still wakes up every morning with a head full of soft brown waves. but he's not there. you attempt to consume yourself with the things you ached for - busy yourself with his body - but regardless of what you do its always a pathetic substitute grasping at the straws of reality.

the warmth is no longer original, simply a consequence of his supernatural metabolism rather than the way he used to murmur your name in his sleep and pull you back closer to him. his palm no longer pulses against yours like it used to, clenching thrice to remind you how much he loves you.

but you should be grateful, you think. at least he's safe. at least he's home. at least he came back to you.

by the time you undress and reach the bed, kissing him on the head before slipping into the covers, he still isn't bothered enough to offer more than a simple peck back. so you feign indifference and turn into the sheets, letting your exhaustion swallow you whole, sleep engulfing your anxious mind as you drift off with a dull ache in your heart.

peter is there. except he's not. because while you'll remain sharing the same bed, then watch him eat his breakfast the next morning, and feel his physical presence every time he's around, his mind will forever be occupied. he'll grow so used to relying on his own physicality to stand in that eventually his mind won't believe it to be necessary to reciprocate the love that's been burying itself deeper ever since he started going on missions.

@shellxrls 2023

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Do you think the Peters would continue to wear their masks in HQ because it's weird seeing your face on other people even if they're all a teensy bit different or would they have gotten over it quickly?

This kinda opens up a big chasm that I'm SO CURIOUS ABOUT - Because I would assume they'd get use to it, but HOW.

And now this has turned into a long post about

The Spider Society: Multiverse Integration Process Analysis

[In this post I theorize and deconstruct:

The psychological existential damage that would come with joining The Society

How The Society handles integration and mental health for new recruits in everything from those in different timelines (Noir & Webslinger), Duplicates (Like Gwen & Hobie)

These are all headcanons based on.....me.

And...this devolves into a rant a little bit in the beginning BEAR WITH ME - But I hope you enjoy and I'm DYING to hear people's thoughts!! We GETTIN INTO IT]

So. Joining the Society sounds swell. But thinking about it for more than two seconds..

Even the idea is like...borderline traumatic.

Think about it. Like we've only ever seen ourselves in mirrors and photos - mirrors being reflections and photos having a shorter focal length than the human eye.

We normally have a very limited view on how we've ever seen ourselves externally.

So turning up to HQ isn't just seeing yourself - it's seeing yourself WRONG. In a way you've never seen yourself before. Some even theorize that your brain wouldn't even process it as you because of your visual expectations of yourself.

So as a Peter-

Maybe he doesn't even realize at first that the people around him ARE HIM, until it clicks like 'OH. THATS WHAT I LOOK LIKE?!' Is that my face???

It would only take a couple seconds to do the math, but it's still JARRING. To see yourself moving and speaking and actively laughing.

Hearing your own laugh.

HEARING YOUR VOICE SAY THINGS YOU'D NEVER SAY. Literally looking at another Spider-person like 'I would not say that'. It must be so mentally jarring and confusing to suddenly have a new and complete external view of yourself you have no control over - even moreso with such wide variation.

And then it goes even further - as trans person like

I imagine Trans-Guy Peter Parker turning up to campus and realizing '..oh, most other Peters are cis.' The emotions of that would be so surreal and conflicting. Part affirmative of your place in the universe as a guy, but also part isolating or confusing.

Part 'Hell yeah other guys', part 'WTF universe' [Like if I saw cis guy version of myself bruh Idk if I'd hug him or fight him to the death right then and there i REALLY don't know I might snap and go Miguel Mode on that mfer anything could happen]

It even goes further to time eras:

I understand why Noir isn't in the Society. Having a bunch of Spider-people from 2023 saying 'Oh wow you're from 1933, well your life is gonna SUCK for the next decade or two cause in my universe in WW2 Germany-'

Like...that's NERVE-WRECKING.

Cause he'd probably be like 'wow swell, chipper. so umm...is WW2 a canon event because im trying really hard to stop that'

Imagine being from the 1930's and someone comes up and spoils WW2 for you. WORLD WAR 2. SPOILED. Like it's a soap opera.

If someone shows Noir Oppenheimer it's like..game over. What's he gonna do does he even know what an atom bomb is.?????

When joining, everyone is faced with a LARGE possibility of existential damage - even moreso for Peters, minority Peters, or people like Gwen.

Which begs the question - HOW DOES INTEGRATION WORK?

How does The Spider Society handle Integration?

I'm so curious to hear thoughts about this. Because how can you integrate someone of a different history, technological understanding, and basic EXISTENCE without psychologically sending them in a tailspin?

I'm gonna take a crack at it!

Culturally and Timeline wise? -

Culturally, how does one adjust? Like Noir?

I was thinking about this with the creation of my new OC - and I ran into a huge problem in terms off integration.

I recently created an OC who is supposed to come from a Wakanda-like rendition of South America - in a universe where the Spanish conquistadors never colonized.

Which is a lovely thought - But logically speaking

That Spider-person has to go to HQ and be told that in every other world their land was colonized for hundreds of years. *vine thud*

Then that Spider-person would logically, have to be told that large swathes of their culture were either destroyed, desecrated or were never created to begin with because of this colonization

- and that THEIR universe is the only universe where their people survive and thrive.

AND THEN they're looking at her like

'Now that we explained that uhhh can you go through an integration course for us? :) so you can assimilate into our society? but the course is only in widely spoken languages like English and SPANISH. Do you speak SPANISH? Welcome to NUEVA YORK btw'

UH-OH. THAT SUCKS ASS. Who's gonna be the one to tell her that???

Of course she'd be like 'Actually, this is the worst day of my life i hate everyone here and im psychologically stressed beyond repair, thanks for that. your society and multiverse sucks balls btw'

And this is not something I'm choosing to put the character through.

In fact, the character is supposed to be about the empowerment of Quechua people and avoiding the trauma of colonization.

But by simply existing in the context of The Spider Society - Logically speaking - she has to face this huge inevitable trauma and reality outside of her universe.

And that adjustment goes way beyond her learning technology. She'd genuinely be in mourning.

She wouldn't be able to connect with other Latin American Spider-people, because she's NOT 'Latin-American'. That idea is foreign to her.

She'd constantly be told or sent messages that her universe and nation and reality was a novel rarity. A lucky fluke.

There has to be some integration process in place -

If you're from a universe like Barbieland, where your society is matriarchal, you'd probably be really stunned and hurt to experience casual or outright sexism for the first time.

And then being told by other Spiderwomen that - yeah no, your universe isn't actually that common. Most universes SUCK for women.

-That'd scare the shit outta you. You'd be like fine I dont wanna go to other universes I wanna go home and cry

On the other hand, people like Hobie exist, who hail from dystopias. And for them, it's the reverse. The Society may be a new batch of freedom they've never dealt with before.

And they have to be assured they are back not and do have more freedom and that's good. Almost like the deprogramming from a cult (into something another society that's very similar).

Someone would have to explain:

People from different times (or social standings) as well.

Sure, Hobie may have adjusted easy, but we can only assume that. And I've talked before about how learning about other Spider-People, The Society, and their blatant disrespect to what HE considers the point of Spider-man - was probably incredibly stressful for him.

Or even simple things of telling a black Spider-person from let's say 1940 that 'you have equality now - there's groups and movements and you can meet black people from newer universes that are happy and free to do as they please. You can heal'. After DECADES of oppression.

Or telling a gay or trans Spider-person 'Oh, most universes are actually super accepting. I'm sorry yours is so oppressive. The HRT here is great and free.'

EVEN FOR SILLY PEOPLE for Spider-people like lets say Spider-Fool (a silly little guy). How do you explain to Spider-Fool that Miguel isn't a king - he's just some guy and NO horseback jousting with Webslinger is against rules and not a way to settle disputes??

They're not hearing that.

Or explaining to people that Lyla isn't a person and its possible for her to be everywhere at once.

Logically speaking someone has explain this to them right out very early on and I'm so curious about that!!

There has to be something there to mentally support them so they don't crack and also explain to them the nuances of existence in a universe that's literally like the New York of the multiverse- full of dozens of cultures and subgroups.

My Analysis -

So I'm assuming an cultural integration includes:

Some sort of Common World History Course

A Social Etiquette Course and a

Multiverse Minority Sensitivity Course that deals with either accepting and adjusting to the fact you're a Multiverse Minority or how to approach and speak to Multiverse Minorities if you're a Peter or something.

Optionally: The MMS Course may also include routine therapy sessions at the Mental Health Center to check their adjustments

So okay, you've explained the multiverse and how to exist in it! Great

____

Now you have to explain THE TIMELINE.

Which is arguably WORSE. And I'm not even TOUCHING Canon Events here.

Let's talk about Gwen. Because I feel for her. REALLY REALLY BAD FOR HER.

How did they explain to Gwen WHO she was - or WHY these grown men were staring at her?

Imagine being Gwen on day one. Asking herself how all these guys know her name.

She's basically alone beside these new adults and Peter B. - and suddenly large groups of grown men are staring at her because holy shit she looks exactly like their sweetheart who they last saw in a goddamn casket.

Like not only is that gonna really throw off Peters mentally - it's probably terrifying for Gwen.

I'm not slagging off Peters here, but I genuinely think that Gwen's first time on campus would draw crowds. It a genuine situation on campus. Like people standing around her at all times until Miguel makes them stop.

Because when you lose someone SO traumatically, and then suddenly they're in front of you without warning - your first reaction would be to stare, and be totally stunned. It's surreal.

Even if you knew it was 'technically possible'. When they're standing there in front of you after you've seen them buried, your brain needs time to process that.

So I do think that her being there would trigger some kind of event on campus, and not in a good way.

Gwen's like 'How do these people - these GUYS know me? What's this crowd for? Why are some of them crying? This is scary.'

She's 16 for christ's sake.

And then someone has to explain to her who she is, and how she dies. Come on now.

Imagine someone being like 'Oh yeah you break ur back and die from a fall in literally every universe lol. Anyway can you go out and swing at high altitude after an anomaly? thanks, don't fall! - just kiddin'

Wouldn't you be like 'nah actually i wanna never leave my room'?. That could instill a level of fear that's paralyzing because you're waiting for the other Gwen shoe to drop (sorry had to take the pun)

Or even worse -

You're Gwen literally just existing and a grown Peter comes up to you and just shows you your own funeral photo. Like ?????????????? You'd be there like ?????????????????????!!!!!

HOW DO YOU REACT TO THAT???? How do you stop that??? How do you explain or process that?????

That scenario is completely possible in the context of Spiderverse!!

How do they explain to people like Gwen or Hobie their 'PLACE' in the universe?

Especially someone like Hobie who isn't with the shits to begin with.

In the comics, we see Pavitr reflect on The Spider Society and race - and when entire identities are dragged into it - it's going to get confusing.

Did they TELL Hobie's he's Prowler? Would he even believe them?

Or did they let him come across a Prowler only to see them and be like 'M8 that's me that's literally me standing there'

Once again, you may theoretically know it's possible. But also - the human brain isn't made to process that. In the moment you have no idea how you'd react, realistically speaking.

The situation in itself goes entirely against the brain's understanding of fate, reality, and your entire personhood.

Seeing yourself from 3rd person doing actions you would not do is like - forced depersonalization and disssociation. IRL.

You are literally being depersonalized from your actual basic identity. Dissociated and forced to watch from an outside view - except it's not something your brain is doing - IT'S THE UNIVERSE and you're watching it in real time.

There has to be some way all of these people are like - capable of processing all this in a natural way like a university - with some sort of mental support and coaching. It wouldn't be possible without it.

If Webslinger can walk around and see flying cars in Neuva York and not care, then something had to get him to that point.

Timeline wise - I can only guess classes are separated based on need and classifications which I spoke about here.

A Mental Health Course & Identity Coaching for Peters - to help them resecure their identity in a sea of copies

A Mental Health Course & Identity Coaching for 'Not Peters' - like Pavitr

A Mental Health Course & Identity Coaching for Duplicates - like Gwen & Hobie, to help them 'regain autonomy' in a universe in which they are a rarity or a 'lucky chance'

ADDITIONALLY:

For their own safety and privacy people like Gwen and Felicia Hardy (NightSpider) stay in separate dorms, so they're not exposed to Peter's. (not that NightSpider stays on campus. Her penthouse is nice AF)

When a Peter experiences a Gwen Stacy canon event Gwen is put on a short sabbatical - usually Miguel just tells Hobie to keep her in his universe. This is one of the only times he'll tell Hobie to do this, but it's just easier and safer if she's not there.

Villainy Monitoring: For Hobie - extra surveillance, for a number of reasons. But Lyla also calculates his rates of villainy. They're always INCREDIBLY low, and Hobie's file indicates there's basically a 0 percent chance of him going Prowler - BUT it is something they check for. This would go for any other 'Villainous Duplicates' like Harry Osborns who become Spider-man.

Even though she's not too dangerous, NightSpider is considered a light antagonistic-but-not-evil 'Villainous Duplicate' designation in her file.

But those would have to be just the basics.

........... And now that I read this back I see that I may have went a bit off the rails...... hm.

Um...anyway I don't know where I was going for this and I'm not even sure this is what you asked for but I think it's SO interesting psychologically suhkfgdfjgkdf

This also gave me a lot of ideas for how the universes work and the web and how close different universes are but that's a whole other jar of worms.

But if you made it this far PLEASE PLEASE tell me how you think Hobie and Gwen and Your Spidersona would adjust to Spider Society! I'm curious!

..........I don't know how to end this. Thank you for this ask tho!! Here Hobie

(my face after saying the most random shit known to humankind without proofreading and then hitting post like i did something)

[kaylinlmao]

hello and welcome!

a little about me! my name is kaylin. i am bisexual and my pronouns are she/her. i love to write, and have written multiple short stories. i took a loooong break from writing in order to work on myself and my mental health but now im back and better than ever! my fandoms haven't changed, although im not entirely sure if people are still into tbp, which is why i write for mcu, stranger things, harry potter, etc. i am experimenting with writing smut and nsfw so you can request it, but be aware that if im not comfy with writing it, the request will be deleted. something that i enjoy doing is writing short stories with prompts. such as, enemies to lovers short story, and ill write it. so give me some prompts for short stories it you'd like. enjoy your stay here and have fun!

requests are: OPEN

fandoms I will write for

the black phone: robin, finney, vance, bruce, billy, gwen, donna

stranger things: nancy, steve, robin, eddie, billy, request others

it 2017: bill, richie, stan, eddie, ben, bev, mike, request others

mcu: wanda (my beloved), yelena, kate, peter, tony, natasha, jane, carol, maria, pietro, request others (i feel like i just revealed how gay i am)

harry potter: mattheo riddle (also my beloved), theodore nott, pansy parkinson, blaise zabini, lorenzo birkshire, fred and george weasley, hermione granger, request others

harry potter (marauders era): sirius black, james potter, peter pettigrew (love him), remus lupin, lily potter, regulus black, request others

tasm & tasm 2: harry osborn (my fave), peter parker, gwen stacy, max dillon (platonic)

what i will write

yandere

platonic headcannons

romantic headcannons

sfw headcannons

nsfw headcannons (as long as they're over 18)

fluff and angst

i will write and try just about everything. if I don't like it, i won't write it again.

what i WILL NOT write

pedophiles

scat

piss

i'm sure this list will get longer over time but for now, these are my hard nopes.

this blog is again mostly for the stupid scenarios and imagines in my head so please no hate. love y'all! :) -kaylin

blog started on october 13, 2022

masterlist last updated on january 24th, 2023

the black phone masterlist

stranger things masterlist (work in progress)

more to come! go check out my wattpad @kaylinlmao

[youngbugandtonystank]

what's the difference between what wanda did to those people in wandavision and what tony did with ultron?

I have so many asks about this. Hate asks, and people wondering what’s going on. This is the only one I’m answering.

Both of them are responsible for their actions. I’ve seen people try and take away either Tony’s responsibility for that or Wanda’s engagement and accountability. 

In Tony’s case, the Ultron program was supposed to be a global peacekeeping program to protect the people, acting as a suit around the world to prevent events like the Battle of New York. He was doing it in the name of peace and safety. Tony was rightfully scared because he was the only one who knew what was coming. Wanda intentionally enhanced that fear in him and this drove him to create Ultron with Bruce. He has responsibility for it. Same as Bruce. He owns up to this, he took full responsibility and agreed that they needed to be regulated. 

Tony Stark: A few years ago, I almost lost her, so I trashed all my suits. Then, we had to mop up HYDRA... and then Ultron. My fault.

--

Tony Stark: There's no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check! Whatever form that takes, I'm game. If we can't accept limitations, if we're boundary-less, we're no better than the bad guys.

--

Tony Stark: That's good. That's why I'm here. When I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down and stop manufacturing.

--

If people think he needs to be in jail for it, then I’m guessing the rest of the Avengers too since all of them have made mistakes and killed people too. As a matter of fact, after the events of Wandavision, I’m sure that Wanda should be in the Raft, but because she’s ‘a poor baby’ yall won’t think she deserves that. 

SPOILERS

It’s a big possibility that we don’t have all the info about what happened in Wandavision but we’re going to go with what we know so far. 

In Wanda’s case, she did it to appease her grief and pain, and I can understand why she would get to that point, she’s been through a lot and maybe she was about to lose her mind. Instead of recruiting Wanda after the Sokovia incident, they should’ve given this girl treatment for her mental health problems. She just lost her brother and passed through a very traumatic war zone, of course she needs assistance. Cap and Natasha were the ones responsible for her because they were training the ‘new’ avengers. Sam was with them and he used to be a counselor to veterans with PTSD. He could’ve helped Wanda with some of her traumas. As shown in the series, Wanda did the whole hex business before meeting Agatha, which means creating that little reality was all Wanda’s responsibility. Hayward and Agatha did exactly what Wanda did to Tony (and the avengers/other people) in AOU. They manipulated her and played with her emotional traumas. Hayward showed her Vision’s body parts and Agatha started to pull strings to know how Wanda did what she did and her real powers while orchestrating against her. 

Both of them have made mistakes. No one is better than the other. I don’t understand why some fans want to make someone responsible more than the other or blame one character for the other. While Wanda gave Tony that vision and pushed his self-destructive side to obsess over saving the world, he did create Ultron, what Tony didn’t predict was that the robot was going to corrupt itself. Same with Wanda, while Agatha and Hayward contributed to her trauma, she held hostage and isolated 3,892 people to create her perfect reality, ripping these people away from their identities and free will to fit her own fantasy. Don’t turn this into ‘omg poor her, it’s Tony fault that she’s this way'. I can’t believe I have to repeat this but you don’t see Peter Parker obsessively looking for the person who manufactured the gun instead of the criminal who actually killed Uncle Ben. Ridiculous that I have to repeat this example. 

Oh and about Vision’s body (damn yall have a gift to turn everything into Tony’s fault for some reason). I can’t believe some of you think Tony (while grieving for 5 years) would give Vision to Hayward. You’re either pulling stuff out of your asses or you didn’t pay attention to the show. Maria Rambeau founded and was the Director of S.W.O.R.D. In 2018 (when IW happened), this is where she came up with a new policy within S.W.O.R.D. to ground snapped agents in case they ever returned. Maria was diagnosed with cancer, then two years later (2020), she passed away. Then, Hayward was promoted to Director of S.W.O.R.D., in his first years (2020-2022) he refocused the organization’s work from extraterrestrial operations to robotics, nanotechnology and artificial intelligence, etc. There, that was the 5 years. Then in 2023 it’s when he started project Cataract, which revolved around rebuilding Vision as a sentient weapon. Tony was dead when this happened. How come yall don’t get this part? I don’t understand, do you really think his dead corpse signed some papers to give Vision to those people? LMAO

Instead of thinking Tony would give up Vision just like that, think (possibilities):

Maria was the head of S.W.O.R.D., she might have just been keeping his body safe without doing anything with him. Maybe she trusted Hayward and he, obviously, betrayed her because he’s turning her organization into something else after her death. 

One of the Sokovia Accords regulations states that the use of technology to bestow individuals (the term ‘enhanced individual’ in this book is defined as any person, human or otherwise, with superhuman capabilities) with innate capabilities is strictly regulated by the government, as is the use and distribution of highly advanced technology. Vision signed those accords ('I'm saying there may be a casualty. Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict... breeds catastrophe. Oversight...oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand’) The Avengers were no longer be a private organization and they operate under the supervision of the United Nations. This means they (UN) were the ones that referred Vision’s body to S.W.O.R.D., to a trustworthy leader, Maria. 

Vision died in Wakanda, not in New York. Tony was missing for 22 days after the snap, the rest of the avengers should’ve taken responsibility for his body.  

Why is it always Tony’s fault but never consider that other parties are also involved in this? 

I want to address some other asks with this one. I know some of you are angry because people are starting to blame Tony all over again, so a few things to remember:

Tony did not create the Accords. The Accords were the result of all the collective actions the Avengers have done in their superhero careers. All of them have made mistakes and the collateral damage of that was taken into consideration by the government and 117 countries around the world. He signed the accords because he knew that he could amend them with the support of the rest of the avengers and he knew about Thanos (something big was coming). 

Obadiah Stane (it’s so bizarre for me seeing that some people don’t know who this guy is, I’m guessing that the people who are watching Wandavision are too young to remember or didn’t watch the Iron Man movies at all which is highly probable) was the one selling weapons to the wrong people, not Tony. Obadiah was the CEO of Stark industries and became second-in-command for two decades. He grew jealous of Tony and began cooperating with the Ten Rings in Afghanistan, selling them Stark Industries weapons illegally. Imagine blaming all of it on Tony when Obadiah basically murdered thousands only because he felt a little green. If someone who you trust (he had no reasons to doubt Obadiah since he was like a second father-figure for him) does something behind your back (take into consideration that people like Pepper; who was Tony’s assistant and had knowledge of all of Tony’s activities and responsibilities, Rhodey; who was the liaison between the military in the department of acquisitions and Stark Industries, and Happy Hogan; who was his personal bodyguard and Head of Security of Stark Industries, didn’t know what Stane was doing either), how are you going to know about it? Tony trusted him. And when he realized what was going on he immediately stopped all of it. He worked hard to be better and people overlook that because they want other characters to look better. 

Don’t act like Tony was the only one assisting the military. All of the avengers assisted in one way or another. Natasha (who used to be an assassin) was in the Red Room, trained in the Black Widow Program in association with Leviathan and the Soviet Armed Forces, served for KGB, etc. Bruce Banner used to work for the United States government and was commissioned to create a super serum for them. Same goes with the rest, Sam, Clint, etc. Steve Rogers was a soldier lmaoooooooooooooo like, what happened to Tony with Obadiah happened to Steve with SHIELD/HYDRA in TWS. He trusted the people working in there (SHIELD), served for them, did missions for them and as soon as he found out what they were doing behind his back he turned against them. 

Knowing all of this, how is Tony always the villain for yall? I’m guessing because Tony’s popularity in the MCU, but still, aren’t yall tired of not understanding the plot and having people repeat it to you constantly? Watch the movies if you want to understand the franchise, people. Stop following the crowd. 

Also, Wanda is not a kid, she’s a 35 year old woman in Wandavision, she was 26 in AOU and 27 in CW. Hardly a child. Tony had almost her same age (38) when he realized Obadiah was selling illegal weaponry behind his back. The only reason people don’t fully forgive Tony is because 1. he’s a man and 2. he’s a billionaire. Even if Wanda was poor she still killed and hurt many people over the course of her life. Stop trying to make Tony the villain only to downplay Wanda’s actions. 

Both have killed people, both have made mistakes. They’re both responsible for them. 

[simmonsofshield]

The Last Thing

Pairings: Y/N Stacy & Peter Parker

Summary: Peter is not dealing with his friend’s death very well. Loosely based on true and personal events.

Words: ~2900

Warnings: Mentions of death. Yelling. Blaming.

A/N:  AU, Peter and Gwen are friends. Y/N is Gwen’s older sister. Gwen is an Avenger and has been in all the fights instead of Peter. This is for @jbbarnesnnoble​​‘s mental health awareness challenge. I chose “How do you even begin to move on?” It won’t be a quote, but it’ll be in bold. Takes place after Endgame.

Dear Peter,

I’m not going to beat around the bush. I’ve never been known to anyways. If you’re reading this, that means I’m either dead or in some sort of close-to-death coma, probably the former.

I’m writing this the day before I leave for Berlin. Sorry I didn’t tell you about it but Tony Stark came to me so I’m assuming it has to stay on the DL. Yeah, you read that right. Tony freaking Stark! He hasn’t told me much but I’m assuming some sort of drama with the Accords. Why he came to me and not you, I’m not sure. Maybe just because I go out more and there’s more youtube videos of me than you. Or maybe he didn’t want the “friendly neighborhood Spiderman.” He wanted someone tougher. Haha just kidding.

Anywho... back to the reason for this letter. I want you to take my place. Queens still needs someone to take care of it, and since I’m no longer around, it’s gotta be you. We were both in that lab and got bit by those radioactive spiders. Who thought making spiders radioactive was a good idea anyways? We went through all the weird hardships with these new powers together and managed without anyone finding out….except my sister. (and apparently Tony Stark.)

Speaking of Y/N, I’m putting her in your care. You are now responsible for her. I’m only kind of sorry. She’s the only one that knows about this letter.

Hopefully you don’t have to read this immediately following this impromptu trip to Berlin, or at all in 2016. Or, you know, ever. Hopefully I can grow old and retire SpiderGwen. Wait, those are two different things, let me rephrase that: hopefully I can stop saving the day around 25 and then retire when I’m old and wrinkly and burn this letter so you never have to even know it existed.

If you are reading this and made it this far, I want you to know that I believe in you. It is hard being a hero. Sometimes  you have to make tough decisions, but you’re a smart guy. I know you will be great. Better than me, probably.

You’re the best basically-brother I could ever ask for. Spiderman is destined for great things. I know it.

Gwen

Present day, May 2023

When it first happened - when half the universe was brought back - Y/N came looking for Peter immediately. After that first weird day back to school, she found him..and that was weird too. She used to only be one year older than him and Gwen, and now she was clearly 6 years older than him. She’d asked if he’d seen her in class, and he said no. She covered her mouth and started crying right there. It confused him at the time, but in hindsight, he realized she knew at that moment that Gwen was dead. Her family got the call from Nick Fury himself that night.

Besides the big bad, Thanos he thinks, there were only two casualties. “Only” two on the heroes side, when there’s usually zero. They were Gwen and Tony Stark. So not only did Peter lose his best friend, he lost his idol as well, and even though he never got to meet him, it still hurts. A little. He died bringing back the half of humanity that was blipped, a truly heroic act, but Gwen died so that that could happen. She’s hardly ever mentioned in news reports or anything.

It’s been almost two months. TWO.

Peter read the letter again. He did almost once a day. The fold creases were already very worn and the page had been stained with tears many times over. He still just couldn’t believe she was actually gone. Being brought back after getting blipped was enough to deal with but now his closest friend was dead. What was the most frustrating was that he didn’t know how. He wasn’t allowed to. SHIELD classified it and only the immediate family could know. You hadn’t told him everything, but you did say something about her getting caught in some crossfire. That’s all you were allowed to say.

He sat in the stairwell of his and Aunt May’s Queens apartment while he waited for you to arrive. He was zoned out thinking and didn’t even hear you come up the stairs.

“Peter?” he snapped back to reality and looked at you, eyes sad, “you ready?”

He nodded and stood up, shoving his hands in his shorts pockets. He trudged down the stairs and met you at the landing, then walking side by side down the rest to ground level. Exiting the complex, you put your arm around his shoulders walking the already too familiar route. What had happened was still fresh and you two had decided to visit Gwen’s grave once a week, tell her what had been going on, if anything.

The first few times were okay, but recently, Peter hadn’t been saying anything. He just kneels in front of her grave, head down, and cries. You really felt for the kid, you did. His parents died when he was 6, his uncle Ben 3 years ago (since he was blipped), and now his best friend-basically-sister. He’s only 16 and has dealt with more death than anyone at that age should. How do you even begin to move on? The gaps are big, but that doesn’t make any of them hurt less. Especially when they’re all family.

After a few minutes of silent sobs, you place your hand on his shoulder. He stands up and steps aside, so you can have your time. You look at him and give him a soft smile of thanks. He looks at you for a millisecond before looking back at the ground, wiping away stray tears.

You approach her gravestone, putting your hand on it, brushing your fingers along it and tracing the letters of her name. You speak softly, as if just to her. “Gwenny, I need help. Your help. This has been hard on Peter. You were his best friend and now he just seems like a lost puppy without you around. I know he has Ned and MJ, but a big chunk of him is missing without you here,” you cough out a sob, “I just want the old Petey back. I don’t expect it tomorrow, or next week, or even next month, but I need it. I want some sort of normalcy back in my life,” your next sob comes out with a little bit of a laugh, “look at me, talking to a grave like I’m talking to an actual human. You’d totally give me crap for this.” you sigh, “It’s just-- being six years older than him now instead of just one makes it hard. We’re in such different places in our lives. He just finished his freshman year of high school, and I’m in college now...” you trail off, forgetting where you were going with it. Standing up, you give one last tap to the gravestone. “Bring him back. Oh-” You dig in your purse and pull out a charm bracelet. You crouch back down and lay it right next to the base where the grass is a little bit taller. You wear an identical one. “Mom and dad are doing fine..well, as well as you could expect. There are some rough nights, but we’re managing.”

Emotions were still running high at home. You’d lost your sister, and your parents, their youngest child. There was a lot of fighting and blaming, despite heroism being Gwen’s choice. She’d told you once that she’d been given the powers for a reason. If bad things happened and she did nothing, it was basically her fault. You never really agreed with the sentiment, but she insisted and went on helping out the people of Queens, eventually roping Peter into it.

A lot of the time the blame fell on you, your father wondering why you weren’t with Gwen and Peter the day they got bit. You take it, as it’s his way of mourning and relieving his anger. He’s looking for answers that he’ll never get. Your mom is mostly silent, save for the fights. You two usually end up drinking a bottle or two of wine before tottling off to bed, drowning your sorrows.

The walk back is silent, as usual. You were both mourning and it was always emotionally draining after a visit and hard to make conversation. You’re about 2/3 of the way back before you decide to try. “I, uh, noticed you had the letter in the stairwell.” You feel a shift and see as his hand goes to his pocket. “Pete, why?” You sigh, not in disappointment, mostly in exhaustion but a little bit of curiosity too.

He looks down, an exhale coming from his nose, “It’s the last thing I have of her.”

You let out a soft gasp. That hadn’t even crossed your mind, it was the last physical thing Gwen had touched and given - by way of you - to him. “Oh, Petey.” You run your fingers through his hair a few times before letting your arm rest limply over his shoulders. He pushes it off, stopping in his tracks and looks at you with an expression you don’t recognize. He mumbles something and you stop waking as well, leaning forward a little. “Peter?”

“Tony did this.”

“To-”

“Tony Stark! He’s the one who recruited her. He’s the one that put her on this path.” he paces back and forth in anger. “If it weren’t for him, she wouldn’t be a part of the Avengers and she wouldn’t be dead.”

“Peter...” you know what he’s doing. In fact, you went through and did the same thing just a couple weeks ago. “You know he’s not to blame. She’s the one who wanted to help the community, just like you,” you reasoned, “it was only a matter of time before she caught the eye of the Avengers.”

He ignored you, turning on his heels. “I need to talk to him.”

“Y-you can’t. Peter..” you stand there, stunned for a moment, “Peter.” you call out. He doesn’t respond and you quickly move from your place on the sidewalk and jog a little to try to catch up. You forgot how quickly he could walk when he was on a mission. “Peter!”

“What?!” he turns around, fire in his eyes. You actually cower a little, never hearing this tone come out of his mouth before.

“Uhm..” your voice is meek at first as you try to figure out what to say and recover from the surprise his outburst gave you, “you can’t go talk to Tony.”

“And why not?”

“He,” you swallow the lump in your throat, speaking softly not out of fear now, but to bring down the information as delicately as you could, “he died that night too. Remember?”

He blinks and there seems to be a flicker of remembrance and realization. It quickly changes back to anger and he looks you dead in the eyes, pointing. “Then it’s your fault!”

“W-what?”

“Yeah. You’re the one that let her go to Berlin. She would’ve listened to you. If you had told her no, she wouldn’t have gone. It’s your fault!” he continues pointing his finger at you, his voice rising as he talked. You hadn’t even realized you were moving until you were suddenly backed into the wall of a corner store, or maybe a restaurant, you didn’t really take the time to figure out where you were on the street.

You could feel your breath beginning to shallow the more he talked. You had no idea what was going to happen, and with him being enhanced, he was unpredictable. “Peter...” was all you could muster up, hoping just saying his name would somehow take him out of this trance he was in. It didn’t work and if you hadn’t looked down to look away from his face, you wouldn’t have noticed his other hand beginning to ball into a fist. Your eyes widened and you looked back at him, tears threatening to fall. “Peter, please.”

It didn’t phase him. “It’s your fault!” he yells and you see his fist rise and you dodge out of the way in the nick of time, now in a crouched position.

You hear his fist connect with the wall, “Fuck!” Under different circumstances, you’d be surprised and sarcastically scold him because you’ve never heard him swear, ever. At the moment though, you’re now seated against the wall, breathing hard and tears falling silently.

“Y/N?” He crouches down and puts a hand on your shoulder, which you slink away from. At this point, as if it were a movie, mother nature decided it had to rain. All you hear is the soft pattering of the rain on the sidewalk for a moment before you hear some soft whimpering. You look around, and see a few feet from you, Peter sitting and hugging his knees, head down.  

You stand up, and walk over to him, not announcing your presence in any way, and sit next to him. Taking his hand in yours, you begin inspecting his knuckles. “You’re lucky you have super strength. Otherwise that wall would have done a number on your hand. More than just some scratches and it looks like probably some bruising.” The only reply you get is some breathy sobs. “Okay,” keeping his hand in yours, you stand up and urge him up too, “let’s get you home.”

He doesn’t argue and slowly begins to walk home, with your aid. Your arm is once again around his shoulders and he doesn’t push it away this time. The whole walk back is silent, as expected. The both of you now more tired than before, physically and emotionally.

When you arrive back at Peter’s apartment, you enter, May leaving it unlocked. She’s on the couch watching tv. She turns around with a smile to greet you guys, but it quickly turns to a frown when she sees the state the two of you are in. You see her mouth open about to ask a question and you shake your head. She closes it and stands, walking over to Peter’s bedroom door and opening it for the two of you. You nod a thank you and walk in.

Peter still seems to be in a daze when you sit him down at his desk. You scan his room looking for a towel, seeing clothes and books strewn about, assuming he ‘lost’ his backpack again. “Well, I see you have a project for tomorrow,” you try to joke, despite the fact that you began picking up his clothes and putting them in the hamper in his closet. You hear a soft hmm? and look over at him. He’s looking at you, eyes red but only a little puffy.

You finally find his bath towel, halfway under his bed. Picking it up, you shake it a couple times to get any dust bunnies off and walk over to him. You can feel his eyes on you as you dry the rain off his arms and legs, but you continue. You dab off his neck and rub his hair a few times, getting as much off as you can before moving to his face. He jerks away and wipes his forehead with his arm before looking at you, as if studying you. You sit back a little, unsure, wondering what he’s going to do.

He takes a deep breath like he’s trying to gather the courage to speak to you. It takes a couple more seconds before he does. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh Peter,” you coo softly, “it’s okay.”

He slaps his hand on his desk, “No it’s not!” seeing you jump, he realized what he did, “s-sorry.” he says barely above a whisper.

“It’s not,” you agree, “but you’re mourning. I’m going through the same thing at home. You know this. I can take a few angry words.”

“But I blamed you, tried to hurt you.”

You nod, “I will admit I was a little scared when you tried to hit me,” he looks down, scared to make eye contact, “but,” you use your finger to lift his chin, “I got out of the way and you didn’t. Guess I gotta thank Gwen for taking me to some of those self defense classes so I could help her train.” You say the last part with a smile.

For what you’re pretty sure is the first time that night, Peter smiles too. You use your hand and wipe away the remaining tears on his face. “There he is.”

You get up on your knees, about to stand up, when he pulls you into a hug. You let out at squeak of surprise but quickly melt into it. Then, you suddenly begin to cry.

“Y/N?” he doesn’t pull out of the hug but you can hear the concern in his voice.

You sniffle and wipe away your tears, letting out a kind of cry-laugh. “I’m just glad, that at least for tonight, you’re back to the Peter that I know. I’ve missed your smile.” You feel him hug you a little tighter.

For Avory