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jocazep · 3 years

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In the Whole Wide Train | Chapter 11

Pairing: Curtis Everett x Reader (Jo, OFC), slight Edgar x Reader

Warnings: Major spoilers for SNOWPIERCER, dystopian society and its countless problems, mentions of forced abortions, language, violence, deaths, slow burn, eventual smut

Synopsis: Having grown up in the Front Sections of the Snowpiercer, you venture down the train when a rare opportunity presents itself, but the excursion quickly changes flavor when you arrive in the Tail Section.

A/N: Sooooo it's been a while... mainly because I didn't want to write the inevitable [SPOILER] of a certain character...but alas, the fanfic must go on. So here we go again...

Taglist: Now closed

Series Masterlist

Chapter 11 - Breaking Bread

“I forgot to ask,” you reached out to grab Curtis’ right arm as the gang shuffled along the green aisles of the garden section.

“What?” Curtis was too busy looking at the overwhelming plants, trees, and vegetables that he thought had long been extinct in the world. It was a beautiful sight, you had to admit, especially compared with the monotone bleakness of the tail section. So beautiful that when Namgoong opened the door, everyone’s eyes, with the sole exception of Mason’s, lit up as this unimaginable paradise was presented to them.

“That little scar on your forearm--”

“It’s nothing--” you felt his arm stiffen beneath your hand, his left hand involuntarily scratching the coat over the position of the scar. To be honest, you could barely remember what it looked like anyway. In the heat of passion last night, your eyes caught a long, even line near the elbow that looked more like the remnant of a precision surgery than a battle scar.

“All right, keep your mysterious cool guy aura then,” The scar piqued your interest, but you decided against pushing for an answer--there will be time after the matter at hand... You grabbed tighter onto his arm, tip-toeing to place your lips near his ear and whisper, “Tease.”

Curtis turned around, surprised. You didn’t need to forego all the fun, right?

“No, no, no don’t eat that--” a worker reached out to Tanya, who had picked up a tomato.

“It’s OK, just a tomato.” You calmed the worker down, rolling up your sleeve, “Here use my credit.” The worker took out the scanner, still hesitant, but obliged you. A small beep sounded and you were on your way.

“What was that?” It was Curtis’ turn to be curious.

“Well up front we have this thing called currency--” you joked, but the sight ahead distracted your audience.

You had come to the aquarium section.

Moments later, the eight of you were sitting along the sushi bar, staring at the plates of exquisite raw fish in front of you.

“So, sushi.“ Tanya took up her serving and popped it into her mouth.

“You people are lucky! This is only served twice a year, January, and July,” Mason decided this was a good time to open her mouth.

“Why, not enough fish?” Tanya quibbed dryly, as a massive manta flowed overhead.

“Enough isn’t the criterion,” You absent-mindedly took over the conversation from Mason as you poured the soy-sauce for your toro nigiri, “It’s balance--”

You lift your head to put back the soy-sauce, only to realize everyone to your right was looking your way, waiting for you to finish your thought.

“What about balance?” Curtis, sitting to your left, asked.

You whipped your head back, a quick moment as you looked at the man--he will need to know sooner or later, right?

“Be...because of that--” you pointed to the whiteness outside, the remnants of a metropolis whipping past, “the only way this aquarium was going to survive, was by becoming a closed ecological system. The number of individual units must be very closely, precisely controlled in order to maintain the proper, sustainable balance.”

“Like so many other things on this train.”

You passed a stern look to Mason, who was bitterly fiddling with the iron around her wrists.

“Whoever designed this got really lucky then,” Namgoong commented.

“Oh no, back in the first year my--” you caught yourself before the word “father” slipped out, “my friends told me they had to get rid of the fish that couldn’t fit into the food chain...”

“What, the restaurant served exclusively fish?” Curtis could almost hear Edgar’s ranting in his ear.

“Some,” You picked at the wasabi, smearing it on your sushi, “a lot of them got made into taxidermies for posterity...” It was only after the room became quiet that you realized you misspoke, “I’m sorry...It was...”

“It’s all right, it’s what actually happened,” Curtis put his arm on your shoulder, pulling you closer towards him.

You couldn’t let it go that easily of course. Remember your surroundings, you were bothered that your father’s voice rang up in your head. But the truth was you probably needed a reminder, after such a long time with the revolters, it’s easy to forget what you were really here for. Better now than later.

But it seemed the meal was just destined to go awry--no sooner had Mason picked up her chopsticks, than Curtis pulled on the chain, jerking the tools out of Mason’s control.

“No,” Curtis palmed out a protein bar, waving it in front of Mason, “You eat this. Know what it’s made of?”

Mason took it up, and threw a quick look at you, only to realize you had pre-empted her by turning your attention to Yuna sitting to your right.

“Curtis my friend, this seems uncalled for--“

“I’m not your friend, and this is 100% called for.”

”Would I be your friend if I had classified information about Wilford?“

Uh-oh. You forced yourself to turn your head--naturally and slowly--towards Curtis and Mason, “Curtis...” You lay your hand on his, and shook your head.

You could swear you saw his nostrils flare up a little, “We have had to eat this for, hell you have had to eat this for--”

“But isn’t the point of the revolt--”

��The point,” Curtis wriggled his hand from underneath yours, and flung the protein bar at Mason, “is to make them pay for what they did to us--”

“Make them pay? Weren’t we fighting for equal quality--“

“Not after what they did to Edgar--”

“How is degrading Mason any help?”

“At least I’ll sleep a little better knowing I made one front-sectioner get a taste of their own medicine.”

The words hung like leaden rings in the air, reverberating through your spine. Mason looked on, unsure how to react.

“Well,” after a long while, you finally opened your mouth, “then let that be me instead.”

Curtis, like everyone else, was taken aback. They watched as you reached out, switching the protein bar with your own sushi serving.

“Jo, that’s not what Curtis meant...” Tanya tried to diffuse the situation, but you ignored her, biting down on the brownish jelly, forcing the rubbery morsels down your throat. It tasted even worse than you remembered.

When you couldn’t stomach any more of the protein bar, you stuffed the rest in your pocket, got to your feet, and walked to the far end of the aquarium.

Curtis made a move to follow you, but Tanya stopped him, “let her blow off a little steam.” Curtis nodded, still hesitant, his eyes trailing your footsteps as they quickened the closer you moved towards the restroom.

Yuna ran past, intent on following you, but was met with the slamming of the steel door in her face. She looked back at Curtis and company, a little confused and hurt.

On the other side of the door, you were puking your guts out, eyes welling up, nose running. It wasn’t just the thought of eating protein extracted from millions of locusts that turned your stomach--the little clash had brought a stern reality check in your head: this is a revolt, and whatever the original intent, if Curtis and Co succeed, there will be suffering and chaos before any sort of balance is reached.

Guess the old man was pretty perceptive after all...you thought as you finally straightened up, wiping your face with water, trying to recall what your father had planned in case the revolt went further than the water section, only to realize Wilford had actively excluded you from that conversation.

You were wondering if he had predicted your eventual realization of the irreconcilable conflict between your visions of change and those of the revolt when a gentle knock sounded at the door. You checked your face in the mirror, forcing an air of nonchalance—you don’t want Curtis to think you had been crying, even if it was just from nausea.

“Are you OK?” It was Yuna’s voice coming through the door.

Eyes dropping a little, you pulled opened the door, “yeah, just nature calling. What’s up?”

Yuna raised the same wrinkled notebook page, pointing at the pencil-colored steel drawers.

“Yes we’ve been through this—“ Yuna pushed the paper closer to you, forcing you to take a closer look. There were shallow indents on the page, remnants of your notes when you made your way down the train.

Oh god. You panicked as you scrambled to remember what you might have written on those pages.

“Yuna, listen—“

“Guys, c’mon, we are moving onto the next section.” Tanya called out.

You nodded in her direction, and looked down at Yuna, “we’ll revisit this?” Yuna put the paper back into her pocket and followed you to join the gang.

As the two of you approached, Curtis tried to find your eyes. He wished he could say that he didn’t mean what he said, but he knew you saw the truth behind the hot-blooded words. Years of oppression had created a beast within him, and it was easy to hate the front-sectioners when they were faceless beings living in his head, or the pompous Mason. But now...

To be honest he had stopped thinking of you as a front-sectioner since well before your passionate evening together. Which makes it all the more frustrating when you chose to remind him of the undeniable fact, stirring awake the beast he thought he had put to sleep. He knows it’s not your fault—you were barely out of school when you boarded the train. And it is terribly difficult for him to imagine the courage it took for you to side with him against your family and friends—goodness he had never thought about that before. Do you still have family in the front--

His train of thought came to a grinding halt as you walked past him, determined not to look at him. Curtis felt his brows furrow further, and jerking the chain, pulled Mason forward.

“Curtis my friend, could we dispense with the chains for the next section?”

“Why?” A half-distracted answer from Curtis as he watched you push the door open with Namgoong and Grey, heading into the freezer section.

“Well, for the sake of the young, the children--“ Mason was barely finished with her sentence when you walked over, taking off your overcoat and draping it over her cuffs.

”What do you think you’re doing?“ Curtis didn’t sound too pleased.

“It’s the school section next,” you said as you strode to the front of the procession again, “kids shouldn’t be a part of this.”

The silence game between you and Curtis continued throughout the freezer section please, you walking at the front, him trailing in the back with Mason. You started fidgeting as you walked past the racks of beef and frozen chickens—maybe giving Mason your coat wasn’t such a great idea. But you were not going to give Curtis the satisfaction, so you did the only thing you could do, walk faster.

“Hey, spoiled lady, wanna slow the fuck down?” Namgoong never actually learned your name, which doesn’t really make a difference to your really...

“Sorry, I’m just not very good with cold.” You said as you slowed your steps until you were in the same footing as the disheveled security specialist.

“Then you’re fucked in this world.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle, “yeah guess I am...” Then you remembered something, “Why does the Yekaterina Bridge mean so much to you?”

“What?”

“I saw you looking for something through the windows when everyone was hanging on for dear life. Must have been pretty important to you...”

A moment of silence as Namgoong stopped his steps. You kept your eyes on him, waiting for an answer. He let out a sigh, raising a hand, “you wanna swipe your implant to open the door, or should I?”

You turned your head—and see the door at the end of the section.

When the rest of the company finally caught up to you and Namgoong, Curtis noticed your fidgeting hands as they raised up to unlock the door, the fingertips showing just a tiny hint for blue. With Mason in tow, he strode up to you, taking your hand before you could retract it.

“Wh—“

“You’re freezing,” Curtis said as the lively noise of children hit you like a heatwave. Bright colors assaulted your eyes and saccharin songs flowed through the concrete doors.

“I’m fine,” you replied, your hand twitching within his grasp, but not quite withdrawing it.

“Look, I feel like an asshole for earlier...” Curtis took a pause as the rest of the company shuffled past into the school section. A pregnant lady led the children in chorus as an educational, semi-propaganda introduction of the train was blaring on the TV at the moment. Thank god you were too old for this when you first boarded.

When it was once again just the two of you hovering at the entrance, Curtis continued, “Here take my coat—” He moved to shrug off his tattered coat, but you stopped him.

“Sure this front-sectioner has had enough taste of her own medicine?”

“C’mon, I don’t think of you as a front—“

That’s not exactly what you were hoping to hear.

“But I am one,” you said as you pulled your hand free, his fingers leaving visible prints on yours, “and up to a month ago, everyone in my life is one too.”

”But now you’re with us—”

“There should be no ‘us’ or ‘them’, that’s kind of the point of all this jazz, Curtis.”

Curtis just blinked at you. You could see the idea behind your words not quite computing within his mind, a mind that had always lived in the darker part of a dichotomy. And a part of your resolution melted away.

“Let’s do this another time,” You laid one hand on his, urging him to put his coat back on.

“Sure you’re ok without the coat?”

“I’ll survive. My blood is still raging hot from our fight earlier.” Curtis was a little bummed at your joking dismissal of his concern, but he knew there was no use pushing you.

“Children, let’s say hello to our guests from the tail section...” To her credit, the pregnant teacher kept her countenance as she took in the group of torn coats and ragged shoes filing past her, Tanya and Andrew getting their grease-stained fingers on a student’s face every once in a while when they thought he resembled their sons.

“Today is the first day of the new year, so we have a special little treat,” the teacher said as a well-dressed, clean-shaven Gerald walked in, to everyone’s surprise.

Amidst murmurs of “Is that Gerald?”, your eyes glazed over, thinking about his wife back in the tail section and her broken hand. And your resolution crumbled further—surely the train could have made room for one more violinist? A cloudy silhouette of the previous violinist took form in front of your eyes—was she the first chair of the Viennese Philharmonic? You couldn’t quite recall, except for the fact that she played at the weekly fete.

You were so lost in thought, and music, to have noticed Egghead walking down the aisle, handing each child a New Year’s celebratory egg.

And then, came the most traumatic three minutes of your life.

Taglist: @torntaltos @emmalbg @ajosieface

#curtis everett #curtis everett fanfic #curtis everett x reader #curtis everett x you #chris evans #chris evans fanfic #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #snowpiercer #snowpiercer fanfic

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pradaksj · 4 years

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7 Rings | 03

♛ pairing: taehyung/reader

♛ rating: mature

♛ word count: 7,000+

♛ warnings for this chapter : light descriptions of anxious behavior (but nothing intense)

♛ summary: In desperate need of money, you and your best friend come up with a plan to infiltrate one of Seoul’s richest families, the Kim family. The plan was simple, garner some money and disappear, but of course things don’t always go as planned. Especially not with someone like Kim Taehyung.

━ ❝ Whoever said money can't solve your problems, must not have had enough money to solve 'em.❞

♛ chapter index/masterlist || series masterlist

Chapters⇢ 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08

Present Day: Thursday Morning.

This was not supposed to happen, no, no, no. This was not what was planned, rehearsed, nor memorized. No, no, no!

You anticipate for him to scream, to snap at you and tell you off in front of everyone. It seemed fitting for someone like him to do, it’s what you expected.

You could feel all eyes on you, the venue itself had gone deaf silent, almost as if everyone else was holding their breath along with you, waiting to see your demise. You couldn’t blame them, you had spilled your drink on one of the most prestigious guests here, and though it wasn’t as if the world was going to end because of this, to you it felt like it. Your “mission” was going to end before it could even start.

Panic immediately overwhelms you. This was not at all how this was supposed to go. You wanted, no, you needed words to come out of your mouth, to say something, anything, but you couldn’t. Your mouth was completely frozen in place, and all you could do at the moment was stare at the big blob of red on his white buttoned up shirt, to which you were at fault for. Slowly you watch his mouth open, your mind immediately beginning to think the worst, but what comes out of his mouth completely surprises you.

He laughs.

The formation of a boxy smile takes its place on his face, his eyes now crinkling out of sheer laughter, and his hand now covering a portion of his face.

“I really didn’t mean to do that, oh my—” you finally blurt out, quickly grabbing a napkin and beginning to uselessly blot onto the already bleeding stain, but almost immediately feeling a hand grab at yours, stopping you from what you were doing.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he reassures, slowly pushing your hand away from his shirt.

You immediately shake your head, your words now faltering in cohesion, “No it’s not, I r-really didn’t mean to do that, I just—”

“And I’m telling you it’s okay,” he repeats himself, “I think you’ve done the most interesting thing around here in a very long time,” he whispers, sticking his hand out for you to shake, “I’m Taehyung,” he introduces himself, as if you didn’t know who he was.

The words themselves come out exactly like how Yuna would imitate during “rehearsal”. Though his voice was of course much deeper, almost reminding you of silk, seductive in it’s own way. You finally look up to see him, to actually see him face to face, immediately feeling your face get red.

It surprised you really, you had seen Kim Taehyung a countless number of times on TV, on several gossip blog headlines, posters, magazine covers, and an endless number of promotional advertisements all across Korea, but wow did they do him no justice. The man was truly stunning, and with every passing second you made eye contact with him, you could see why he was South Korea’s most sought out person.

From the sharp facial features, to the slightly sun-kissed skin that seemed to have its own natural glow, and his (what you assumed was permed) black softly-waved hair, made him in every way … dangerous. Kim Taehyung was dangerous, and you knew it. And it was important that you remembered that, because if you didn’t then things were not going to go as planned and quickly at that.

It took you, what felt like a whole hour, to finally process that his hand had been stuck out for who knows how long. “Get a grip of yourself y/n,” you thought to yourself, the only reason you were so nervous was because you knew what your intentions being here were, no one else here did.

“Don’t panic, breathe, recuperate, and adapt,” Yuna’s words rang in your head, as it was what she’d emphasize you do, just in case something went wrong or unplanned, “You are someone confident, you are someone poised, and most importantly you are someone rich,” she’d scold you, practically drilling the words into your head. You just hadn’t expected that you were going to have to use her advice this early on. “You got this,” you silently whisper to yourself, just breathe.

And so just as you saw him beginning to pull his hand back, you quickly grabbed it and began to shake it in return, “I’m y/n,” you nervously grin, “I’m so sorry about that, I just—” you faintly pause, “I guess you can say I just get shy around people I don’t know and well I just got so nervous,” you embarrassingly ramble on, pushing your hair behind your ear.

“Like I said it’s fine, really,” he says, looking down at the stain which for the most part was no longer as wet as before, now only damp in moisture, “It’s just a shirt really,” he chuckles.

“I know, but still,” you reiterate. You silently take a look around the venue. People had seemed to have quickly forgotten about what had transpired, going back to their regular day to day conversations without a care in the world, “It’s just that I’m new around here and well I just want to make a good impression on people,” you explain, your words clearly catching his attention.

“Oh, where are you from?” he harmlessly asks, genuine curiosity emitted from his tone.

“I’m from—”

The Day Before: Wednesday Evening.

“The United States?—No, No! Seoul! No! Uh—” you immediately feel the squirts of ice cold water on your face from Yuna’s plastic spray bottle, the twentieth time today.

“Wrong!” she scolds, spritzing you one more time for the heck of it causing Hoseok to burst out in fits laughter, for again, the twentieth time today.

You dramatically let out a huff of air in irritation, as well as pouting and crossing your arms in annoyance, “How many times do we have to go over this y/n!” Yuna screeches, grabbing her metal pointer stick, and harshly hitting the cheap whiteboard covered in red messy scribbles that you two bought the night before, “You’re from Seoul, but you moved with your rich old family to the states a couple of years ago, and you’re back here on vacation for the next ten weeks because you were “homesick”, which explains why he’s never seen you before in his life!” she explains, “What’s not clicking?” she says, now tapping her forehead with her index finger.

“You don’t have to be so mean about it,” you sneered.

“Well y/n! We can’t afford any mistakes, and it’s very important you know the basics because the moment he catches you in a lie, all bets are off on that money,” she sighs, her face now softening, “I know that right now you may think I’m being a bitch right now, but trust me, you’ll thank me later,” she snaps her head towards Hoseok’s direction, who for the past hour had been doing nothing but devouring snacks while watching the two of you bicker, “Am I right or wrong?” she asks, causing him to raise his hands as a way of saying he wanted no part in this.

You squint your eyes at him, “Maybe if we had more time, I’d be less strict about all this, but time is on the essence! Ten weeks will go by in the blink of an eye,” she adds, causing you to grunt because sadly she had a point, “So back to the top!” she yells, her facial expression going back to being firm, “Where are you from?”

You roll your eyes, “I’m from—”

Present Day

“Seoul, but you’ve stayed in the states, huh? That’s really cool, I’ve only been to LA and New York a couple of times for certain events… so what was your experience like over there?” he asks, taking a sip from his mimosa.

You don’t hesitate to answer, the response ingrained in your brain, “It was really nice, though I found myself being homesick quite often if we’re being honest,” he nods his head.

“Ah, yeah I completely get where you’re coming from, I—” he catches himself mid-sentence, shaking his head, as if disappointed with himself, “There’s just no place like Seoul huh,” he says instead, to which you nod in agreement.

You proceed in planting the seed to Yuna’s plan, “I have to go back in a couple of weeks though, I still have a year left to go for my bachelor’s, and well I’m really just here for visits sake,” you explain, your nerves slowly withering away. The more you spoke, the more natural things were beginning to feel, smooth and easy like melted butter on toast.

And in a way you weren’t entirely lying. You were going to have to leave at some point, you did have a year left in school, and technically you were just a temporary visitor in this whole world of the rich. Of course, there were some major differences between the truth and what you were leading him on to believe, but at the end of the day this wasn’t going to hurt anyone.

“Oh I see, what are you majoring in?” he politely asks, silently hoping he wasn’t intruding too much. Taehyung for the first time in a very long time, felt nervous. For one thing, you were very pretty, breathtakingly so, he almost felt like a kid with a schoolboy crush. It was quite embarrassing really.

But Taehyung was waiting. He was waiting for you to do something or say something that would confirm that you weren’t the person he’s hoping you to be, that you were in fact a stuck up brat just like the many he’d seen and met before. That you were just like anyone else here who solely cared for numbers, and their own personal riches. It was as if he was anticipating the feeling of disappointment.

“Business, accounting if we’re being specific,” you respond to his question, breaking him from his train of thought, “I’ve always been pretty good with numbers,” you say, “but not enough to become a full on STEM major or anything like that,” you joke, garnering a light chuckle from him, which you could easily tell was completely fake.

Maybe he was right, maybe you were just like the rest of them.

“I see, I see, I just finished my studies recently,” he comments, “I majored in finance though,” he says, which ultimately doesn’t surprise you. Not only because it seemed fitting for someone like him to get a bachelors in that field, but because you basically memorized his Wikipedia page as well. Supposedly having gotten into and graduating from SNU based on his own merit. Though you had your doubts of course, it was probably just best to keep your thoughts to yourself.

What you needed to focus on was getting him to ask you out on a date, considering an awkward silence on both ends had now arisen. A part of you was now severely worried about that date not happening anytime soon. Did you say something wrong? Maybe he wasn’t as interested in you anymore? Business is a pretty boring major, but it’s what Yuna told you to say, and well it is what you were actually majoring in. Maybe you should say something? No, just stick to the script. He isn’t saying anything though….

“Originally I wanted to major in photography,” you blurt out, catching him by surprise, “I was gonna minor in it, but being an accounting major was hard enough as it was, and well family pressure,” you say, your fingers tapping against the surface of the bar, “Nowadays it’s more of a hobby I do, here and there,” you say, curiosity now apparent on his face.

What you were telling him was in fact true, you loved photography, at one point even wanting to make a career out of it, but to become a professional photographer was hard enough as it was. In all honesty, you respected those who had the ability to confidently pursue their dreams. People like Yuna for example, who despite the risk of failing being high, never gave up. It was a risk you were unwilling to take, preferring a secured financial future over the latter.

“I especially like candid photography, there’s just something about it,” you ramble on, “it’s relaxing in a sense, like you learn to be more appreciative of what’s in front of you,” you gush, almost forgetting why you were talking about this topic to begin with.

Taehyung on the other hand looked at you with a grin on his face, finding your babbling amusing to say the least. It was in every way adorable.

“I have these binders at home filled with—” before you could continue on, the sound of a phone ringing interrupts. A look of annoyance now appears on Taehyung’s face, as he begrudgingly took out his phone from his pocket, hesitating to accept the phone call.

“You don’t mind if I—” you quickly nod your head, flashing him a superficial smile, as he momentarily stepped away from the bar.

You quickly took a sigh of relief once he was no longer in view, taking this as an opportunity to take a breather. Personally, you didn’t like this tense feeling, and you could imagine how much more heightened it’d be in these upcoming weeks. “Could it perhaps be … guilt?” you think to yourself, you quickly shake off the idea.

“I’m sorry about that,” you hear his voice, failing to hide the peeved look on his face.

“No, it’s fine, really,” you insist. A pregnant pause now in the air.

“I was hoping—”

“Are you—” both of your cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

“Oh my bad, what were you going to say?” you ask.

“No, you can go first,” he smiles.

“No, no, you go ahead,” you persist.

“You sure?” he asks, to which you nod in return.

“Well I have to go right now, attend to some personal errands and stuff,” he glances down at the stain, “also change out of this shirt,” he jokes, “but um,” he momentarily hesitates, “But I was hoping we could go out some time, grab some coffee or something.” Bingo. Step one, check. “I mean unless you don’t like coffee, I don’t know why I assumed you did, we can always get like smoothies or something, um,” he falters, his hand now scratching the back of his neck. “Hm cute,” you think to yourself.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” you grin, “I was going to say the same thing actually, but yes I would love to get coffee with you, ” you respond.

“Perfect! I was thinking maybe tomorrow evening, around 10AM? I’ll pick you up,” he states, the excitement clearly evident.

“Yeah, sounds great,” you giggle.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” he waves, before turning around and beginning to walk away. But after a couple of seconds he abruptly stops in his tracks and turns back around, causing you to genuinely laugh as you knew why he had stopped.

“I really forgot to ask for your number…” he facepalms himself.

Thursday Night.

“You had one job!” Yuna dramatically flails her arms around, she and Hoseok now having been filled in on everything that happened this morning.

“And I got it done, didn’t I?” you retort, causing Yuna to roll her eyes, mumbling a sassy “I guess” in return.

“You’re so lucky I don’t have my spraying bottle on me right now,” she jokes around, but a part of her was more likely than not actually serious about it.

“Anyways, I’m surprised he actually ended up going up to me after all,” you mused, “Didn’t think it’d actually work.”

“Well with what I had you wearing, of course he was going to go up to you little miss y/n! A ruched floral dress with a summer straw hat at an all white attire event? Do you have no faith in me woman! Actually no, have some faith in yourself!” she loudly lectures you, playfully hitting the side of your arm. “The bad posture was something you already had experience with on your own merit,” she teases, causing her to start dying of laughter at her own joke.

You scowl in return, “Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny,” you grumble out, subconsciously fixing your posture.

“Anyways, what was the famous Kim Taehyung like? Is he really the heartthrob everyone makes him out to be,” Hoseok chimes in, his chin resting against his hand, eager to know the more about your encounter, “Come on, I need details, not no flimsy recap.”

“Um…” you hesitate with your next choice of words, “he’s um..” how could you describe Taehyung? He certainly wasn’t what you thought he was going to be like, “He’s a,” you pause, the two in front of you now looking at you with eager eyes, “He’s a nice guy… for now at least,” you conclude, surprising both Hoseok and Yuna alike. “I—” you sigh, “I think apart of me, like a very little tiny part is already starting to feel gu—”

“Ah! Don’t you even say it!” Yuna interjects.

“You didn’t let me finish!” you scold, immediately causing Yuna’s mouth to go shut. “Though a small part of me does feel guilty,” you pause, “at the end of the day Kim Taehyung is nothing but a rich boy with a grand old penthouse, flashy cars, and has enough money that could last him for several lifetimes. His father is a multi millionaire tycoon who from what I’ve heard exploits people for his own personal gain. Two sides of the same fucking coin. And so maybe right now he may seem like some nice guy, but it’s probably all an act. I’m not the bad guy here, I know I’m not. And I’ll be damned to let anyone, even if it’s myself, convince me otherwise, not with what I have at stake,” you finish off, staring at the invoices which were held up by magnets on your refrigerator, a reminder of what you were doing all of this for.

Kim Taehyung is nothing more than a pawn in a game of chess, and it was your job to make sure he stayed in that position. Nothing more, nothing less.

Earlier That Day.

“You called me?” Taehyung enters his father’s office, still feeling aggravated at the sudden interruption from earlier. His father doesn’t even bother to look up from his pile of papers, only making a quick motion at Taehyung to sit down on the arm chair placed across his desk.

The sound of silence filled the room, as his father continued to scribble down who knows what, on his sheets of papers, clearly focused on what was in front of him which only bothered Taehyung more. “Was there a point to all of this?” he thought to himself.

“Yes there is,” his father suddenly said, causing Taehyung to straighten up, not realizing that he must’ve said what he was thinking aloud. He finally looks up to face Taehyung, the stern look he always had on, well placed on his face. He quickly pulls open his drawer and grabs what seems to be a magazine out, smacking it on his desk for Taehyung to see. He sighs, “So you care to explain what this is all about?”

The title, in a big bold yellow colored font, reads, “Kim Taehyung Gets Physical With Paparazzi, Trouble in Paradise?” accompanied by a collage of photos which included Taehyung post physical-assault on the paparazzo and his argument with Sunhi, all painting him as some kind of villain. Taehyung remained silent, instead avoiding eye contact, only causing his father to let out a sardonic laugh, his frustration clearly evident.

“Ah Taehyung,” he starts off, “I feel like we’ve had this conversation many, many, times,” he lets out another sarcastic chuckle, “and I have to say, you had me fooled when you told me you were ready to come back,” he continuously taps his fingers on his desk in a rhythmic pattern.

“You don’t get—”

“I don’t care for the sob stories Taehyung, I really don’t,” he interrupts, finally snapping, “In fact I have staff telling me that is was Sunhi who cheated on you, something along those lines,” he mumbles, “What you do on your free time, or who you’re seeing is really none of my concern,” he pauses, “until it has the potential to affect my business, and the image it upholds,” he clarifies.

“I know,” Taehyung hisses.

“Then those little antics you used to like to pull off shouldn’t be making a return,” he narrows his eyes at his son, “because we all know the results of those,” he harshly reminds him, causing Taehyung to ball his fist in anger, “So I suggest you get a hold of yourself, quickly at that, so that I don’t have to clean up your messes like before,”

“You don’t have to remind me every waking fucking moment,” Taehyung harshly says, getting up from the chair. His father is quick to do the same, the two now facing each other, the desk being their only barrier.

“And who the hell do think you’re talking to like that,” his father spits, “It was me who got you out of that mess that night, hell if it weren’t for me you’d be behind prison bars at this very moment,” Taehyung looks away, his eyes now watering, “You should be nothing but grateful,” Taehyung quickly wipes the tear that uncontrollably rolls down his cheek. The feeling of shame now overshadowing the feeling of anger he originally felt. He attempts to take deep breaths, anything to prevent himself from looking any more like a coward. He didn’t want to cry, no he refused to cry, especially not in front of his father.

“A house made of glass trying to throw brick stones,” his dad scoffs, “Ironic really,” a vile smirk now on his face, “just get out my sight already, consider this a warning,” he concludes before sitting back down and continuing his work, acting as if nothing had happened. Taehyung stood there for what felt like forever, his eyes still brimmed with tears, before silently making his way out into the hall.

“Don’t cry. Don’t cry,” he kept telling himself as he made his way down to the lobby, but it was hard. He could feel the lump in his throat waiting to be let out, as well as how his lip would quiver whenever he’d force himself to smile at the several staff members who would politely greet him. It was almost as if he was suffocating.

He unlocked his car door and made his way inside, immediately punching the steering wheel in subdued frustration. He looked at himself from the car mirror, staring at his red puffy eyes, still refusing to allow himself to cry despite being alone. Instead he took more deep breaths, once again tucking away the turmoil he’d been feeling for a very long time back into the depths of his heart.

Turning on the ignition of his car, he made his way out of the building’s parking lot, quickly shaking off what had happened. He had a date to look forward to tomorrow morning, and he wasn’t going to let anyone ruin that.

Friday Morning.

“Ta da!” Yuna shimmys her hands, proud of the outfit she’s ensembled. She was definitely making use of Mrs. Choi’s closet, “You don’t think this is a little too much?” you question, feeling slightly insecure about what you were wearing, the tan beret on your head slowly becoming crooked. This was definitely better than anything you’d pick on your own for a morning cup of coffee, that was for sure.

“Oh of course not!” Yuna exclaims while quickly fixing your hair, “Now put this on top of the turtle neck,” she says, passing you a brown plaid double-breasted coat, “and then,” she glances at the two bags in her hands, debating which color would look best before ultimately picking the cream colored cross-bag, “put this over it.”

She claps her hands together, clearly proud of her fashion sense. “The perfect outfit for your date, doesn’t she look so pretty Hobi?” she gushes. Hoseok looks up from his phone, the three of you were now on a nickname basis.

“So she does,” he smiles, “but maybe a black bag might fit the outfit better,” Yuna’s eyebrows quickly furrow.

“Hey leave the fashion to me, computer boy!” Yuna playfully squints her eyes at him.

“I’m just saying! A white turtleneck and a cream colored bag isn’t the look you think it is.”

“Yeah well,” she puckers her lips like a kid, unable to think of anything to counter with, she instead says, “that uniform you’re wearing is ugly!” causing a dramatic offended look to appear on his face.

“Oh I’ll have you know—”

“Will you two stop with the bickering?” you interrupt him before he could attack in return, “Taehyung is going to get here any moment, and you,” you point at Yuna, “need to start heading to work, while you,” you point to Hoseok, “need to get back to work,” you reaffirm, silencing the two who were now staring at you like lost puppies, “Well what are you waiting for, shoo!” you commanded, your statement coming off a little more harsher than you intended, but you blamed it on your nerves. You couldn’t help it because well, you were indeed very nervous.

“Ah okay, okay. Let us know how it goes!” Yuna says, before dragging Hoseok by the arm and leading eachother out. “And remember to stay calm and collective!” he shouts before being yanked on by Yuna.

You let out a deep breath of air. You hadn’t been on a date in a very long time, and though one could consider this a “fake” date on your part, it was a date nonetheless. You needed to leave a good impression, enough that he'd be willing to take you out again after today.

[From: Taehyung]

[9:55] Hey, I’m around the corner from the address you texted me :) I should be outside in like 2 mins

[9:55] i'm in the black mercedes benz btw

[To: Taehyung]

[9:55] perfect ☺️ i’ll be out right now then.

You fix your hair one last time, making sure everything looked perfect. “It’s not a date, just two strangers getting coffee together,” you reassure yourself one last time before making your way out.

The car ride to the coffee shop per se wasn’t awkward, but formal to say the least. Of course, Taehyung didn’t exactly expect you to immediately be talkative once you stepped into the car, but judging by how stiff you remained the whole car ride, and the lack of conversation there was, he also knew that he didn’t want you to feel timid to talk or as if you had to hold yourself back in front of him. He wanted things to feel natural, like how you were when you were talking about photography, where he could tell you were genuinely just being yourself.

Honestly he was used to women usually going out of their way to show off in front of him, or to make themselves seem like someone they weren’t simply to impress him, so this was definitely... different than what he was used to. But for some reason it made him even more curious to get to know you, eager to see what you were hiding behind that brick wall of an exterior you’ve seemed to have set up for yourself. He assumed it was going to take time for you to warm up to him, but the problem was that Taehyung wasn’t much of a patient person to begin with.

“After you,” he says, politely opening the door to the coffee shop for you. You whisper “thank you” to the small, but kind gesture.

The coffee shop in itself was very cute. From the cushioned cream-colored loveseats decorated by pillows you’d find overpriced on Wayfair, to the bright lighting provided by a massive roof skylight, and lastly the wooden bookshelves decorated with a variety of different novels, all which gave the coffee shop a very pleasant home-like feeling to it. If you could describe it in one word it’d be “warm”.

You stood there like a lost child for a moment, unsure of what to order as you studied the menu. They had a variety of drinks, things you were sure you had never even heard of, either that or they just had a fancy way of describing everything in order to boost up the price. “So any idea on what you want?” he asks.

“Um,” honestly you really weren’t much of a coffee drinker, having ordered the same drink at Starbucks for the past several years, “Surprise me,” you awkwardly smile, before making your way (practically running) to a wooden table next to a window view.

You were definitely peeved with yourself because you knew that you needed to stop being so damn quiet because God was that car ride awkward, insufferable almost. But you just weren’t good at this kind of stuff, never had been.

Even during high school when you had gone on your first ever official date, you ended having an utter meltdown in the restroom after your date awkwardly pointed out that you had a piece of spinach stuck in between your teeth, a waitress on break had to comfort you before you could even step out again. Even then you had your mouth glued shut afterward, paranoid about embarrassing yourself again.

And that wasn’t the only embarrassing incident you’ve encountered in past dates, there had been plenty more, but that would take a hefty amount of time to talk about.

Point was, you’d always find yourself acting like a turtle hiding in its shell or like a pufferfish, blurting out the most random and embarrassing things at any given moment. It was always one or the other and it always left you with a humiliating story to tell Yuna, a prime example being accidently spilling your drink on the son of a multimillionaire. You kept anxiously bouncing your leg as you watched him order at the cashier register, thinking of ways to start a conversation.

“I got you a heavenly toffee, it’s an espresso with toffee nut syrup, caramel cream, almond milk, and whipped cream,” he places the drink on the table for you, “I figured you could never go wrong with something sweet,” he smiles.

“Oh wow,” you say, genuinely delighted with his choice, “their mugs are so pretty,” you quietly comment, observing the intricate design on the ceramic mug.

“Yeah it’s definitely one of my favorite coffee shops in the area, I also recommend this one called Seoul’s Magnificent Mocha, they have good drinks as well,” he chuckles, recalling his last visit there.

“Well if I’m being completely honest, I’ve never been too enthusiastic for coffee, but,” you take a sip of the drink in front of you, “I have to say this is really good,” you laugh, pleasantly surprised at the sweetness of the drink, you could hardly even taste the bitterness of the coffee.

“So y/n, tell me a little bit about yourself,” he says while taking a sip of his own coffee.

“Oh well hm—” you try to recall the things Yuna would tell you to say, but with Taehyung intensely staring at you, your mind had gone completely blank, “well,” you felt your face getting red at the pressure you felt, your ears definitely feeling hot, “there’s not much to say really. I’m a pretty boring person,” you let out a very awkward chuckle, looking down in embarrassment.

“Don’t say that,” he says, “we could start off with something simple, like,” he looks up for a moment in thought, “what’s your favorite color?”

“Yellow,” you simply state, no commentary, no “What about yours”, no nothing, Yuna would probably squirt you with her bottle 100 times if she was there. Your brain was having a “we threw out his name” moment from Spongebob. Nothing but fire and chaos going on in there.

“Oh…” he pressed his lips together, slightly disheartened at your lack of enthusiasm. Was there something wrong with him? Maybe he was just badgering too much? Before he could dwell on it too long, the sound of a camera flashing caught both his and your attention.

“Oh no,” you quickly think to yourself, immediately turning away from the window in order to cover your face. Taehyung didn’t bother to question as to why you had turned so quickly because he was quick to do the same. Your reason being was that you couldn’t afford to land on the front cover of a magazine or appear on a gossip channel because the moment your mom saw from her hospital bed, it’d be a wrap for you.

“Damn it,” he groaned, “I thought it’d be too early for them to follow me out here,” he says. Honestly, Taehyung didn’t mind the paparazzi taking pictures of him, at this point he was used to it. But what he didn’t want was to put you in the spotlight with no say on your part, especially knowing how stalkerish the paparazzi could be. The moment they got a clear identity as to who you were, you’d be followed until the end of time, and he would definitely feel guilty for that.

“We gotta get out of here before more of them arrive,” he cursed, “Just don’t look back,” he directs, slowly turning his head back to see if he could spot where the person taking pictures was. “Alright the guy seems to be planted from afar, so I think we can walk out the entrance, just make sure you cover your face with your hand or something or you could use your beret,” he jokes around. “You don’t gotta tell me twice,” you think to yourself.

You nod at his directions, the two of you quickly getting up and putting your mugs away, before speed walking back to the car. You could only cross your fingers that a clear photo of you wasn’t taken.

Taehyung quickly zoomed out of the area, but despite his efforts, everytime he glanced at his rear-view mirror he could spot the black van still following him, which only put him in a bad mood.

“I’m gonna have to drop you off at the back or something, or else you’ll find men always outside your building for the rest of your trip until they find out who exactly are you,” Taehyung scowled, mad at himself for being so careless. You wordlessly nod your head, a little intimidated at how angry he looked.

The car ride back to your place is quiet, nothing different than the car ride to the coffee shop. “I’m sorry,” he exhales once you guys are outside the building, “I should’ve been more careful,” he mutters, internally scolding himself.

You shake your head in disagreement, “Trust me, it’s fine, it’s expected really,” you mumble, your words causing him to feel a slight sting to the heart. Though he didn’t even know you well enough for your words to genuinely hurt, for some reason they did.

“Well I’ll text see you some other time Taehyung,” you formally bow your head, getting out of the car, and quickly walking into Mr. Choi's building, leaving him taken aback by your words. One could say he was looking into your word choice a little too much, but no, he knew exactly what you meant. And so with that he left feeling disheartened.

“So how’d it go?” Hoseok catches you right as you enter the elevator.

“Horrible, it went horrible,” you state, the elevator doors closing before you could say anything else.

Saturday Morning.

“Your kimchi came out way too salty,” your mom criticizes, taking a bite of the food you’ve brought, “should've added root vegetable or something,” she shakes her head in dismay. She expects you to fire back with a remark, but instead she watches as you just sit in the hospital chair, eating your food in pout.

Today was your visiting day, and though you tried to hide your dismay at yesterday’s date when talking to your mom, it kept popping up in the back of your mind like an annoying itch. Of course your mom had noticed your odd behavior from the moment you walked in, but for you to be eating in pout meant that whatever it was that was on your mind, must've really been bothering you.

“Now are you gonna care to explain why you’re feeling so down,” she questions, “or are you going to keep sulking in your seat,” she chuckles.

You wrinkle your nose, “It’s nothing ma,” you try deflecting the conversation, your gaze wandering to the TV.

“Ah so it’s about a boy,” she laughs, causing your head to snap in her direction, a puzzled look now on your face.

“And what makes you so sure?”

She shrugs, “Because I’m your mom and I’ve seen that look many times,” she grabs the remote from the hospital’s bed stand, subsequently turning off the TV, “come on, I’m in cool mom mode now,” she cringely says, causing you to roll your eyes.

“Oh god,” you mumble, loudly sighing before beginning, “so there’s this boy,” you start off.

“I knew it,” she sings, jokingly winking at you.

“I went on a date with him the other day and well I don’t know, I tensed up, you know how I get,” you explain, downwarding your gaze to the floor in shame as you recalled your behavior from the day before.

“Mm,” she hums, sounding unconvinced, “well there must be a reason as to why you got so tensed up, and I’m sure you know why,” she deadpans, her face now becoming stern. So much for being in “cool mom” mode.

“Well I don’t—”

“No, no, no, I’m not accepting your excuses,” she vigorously shakes her head.

You sigh, “I just,” you pause, remembering that you needed to be careful with your words, “I just really want him to like me that’s all.”

“And?”

You groan, “And well I feel like I have to act a certain way or be a certain way in order for him to like me,” you explain, “and I just don’t think I have it in me. I don’t think he’s the type of person to like me, well for me, I guess you can say he’s like the popular kid in those high school movies, you know?” you let out a dry laugh knowing that the situation was much more than that.

“Well can you tell me a little about this boy?” she quieres, grabbing a strand of your hair and beginning to play with it.

“Well I’m not going to give you details because for all I know we might end up bad,” you say, making an excuse so that you wouldn't have to give a name, “but this guy, well he’s been told to have a reputation. He’s selfish, he’s reckless, he’s rude, and the only person he cares for is himself,” you rant, your mother now seeming taken aback by your description.

“Is that what people tell you, or is that what you think?” she laughs, “because the way you just said that, it seems like those are your personal feelings about him, and so I can’t help but wonder why you would want to go out with someone like that,” she wonders. “Oh honey, you have no idea why,” you think to yourself.

“Well because that’s what people like him are, that’s what they’ve always proven themselves to be, it’s what—”

“You assume he’s going to be like,” she cuts you off, her tone now dismissive.

“It’s what I know he’s going to be like,” you retaliate, crossing your arms like a little kid, causing her to laugh.

“Oh y/n y/n y/n,” she continues playing with your hair, “I want you to listen to what I have to say, okay? And then once I’m done, you can either take my advice to the heart, or let it go in one ear and out the other, alright?” you hum in response.

“Okay so the first thing I want to talk about,” she clears her throat, “is that it’s wrong of you to make assumptions about this person, or anyone in general.”

“I know but—”

“Ah, what’d I tell you about listening. You didn’t let me finish,” she scolds, gently tugging the strand of hair she was playing with, “I want you to go on another date with him, but open minded this time y/n. No preconceived notions, no overanalyzations of the things he does so that you can make him fit into the mold you’ve made for him, no nothing, and the same goes for you,” she takes a sip of her water bottle, giving you a chance to quickly say something.

“But ma, the girls I’ve seen him date in the past, I’m,” you sigh, “I’m nothing like them,” her eyebrows immediately furrow.

“And who said you had to be anything like them?” she grabs your hand, causing you to quietly stare at her, “but this leads to my second point. No more putting pressure on yourself to be someone you’re not,” she softly nudges your shoulder, “Just give him one genuine chance, just one, and if it’s not meant to be then it’s not meant to be,” she says, finishing her little speech.

“But I want him to like me,” your voice cracks, desperately wanting to replace the word “want” with “need”.

“Hey don’t cry,” she chuckles, quickly pulling you in for a hug, “Trust me y/n, as long as you be yourself, any boy who's lucky enough to get to know you will fall in love. I promise you that.” she softly whispers into your ear. And with her words you could immediately feel the pressure come off your shoulders, the words not only comforting, but hitting home. “Okay so I need you to promise me that the next time you see him, it’ll be a fresh new slate for both him and you, alright? Shake off, whatever you have on your mind, and just enjoy what’s in front of you.”

“Okay,” you breathe out, deciding that your mom was right, things needed to change, and you were going to do just that.

Saturday Night.

“So how did that coffee date of yours go?” Namjoon mentions, causing Taehyung to frown at the memory.

“If I’m being honest, not that well,” he sighs, pouring himself a glass of whiskey from his alcohol shelf.

Namjoon’s face scrunches in confusion, “Well, what went wrong this time?” he laughs.

Taehyung shrugs, trying his best to seem unfazed, “I don’t know, I guess she just wasn’t that into me,” he comments on you lightly, “Maybe it was for the best, I don’t really have time for another relationship anyway, not with my busy schedule,” he says, taking a sip from his drink.

“Busy schedule, but you had the time to go get coffee immediately the next day after meeting her, with no second thought? Yeah that makes sense,” Namjoon teases, causing Taehyung to roll his eyes.

“Like I said, I don’t know, she just was not budging, it was like speaking to a brick wall the whole time, and I’m sure if the paparazzi hadn’t interrupted it would have remained like that the whole time,” he sneers while pushing his hair back, “which is weird cause I don’t know there was just something about her, I just can’t describe it, but I just know she was holding back.” he explains, causing Namjoon to snort, “But anyways, it’s my fault, I set my expectations too high, thinking I was going to find love at first sight, actually no I blame you for putting those thoughts into my head.”

Namjoon raises his hands in defense, “Hey, all I did was pressure you to go up to her, everything else was your own head’s doing.”

“Yeah I guess you’re right, I’m just gonna be a lone wolf for a —” the sound of a “ding” interrupts Taehyung before he could complete his sentence, and so he checks his phone to see who could’ve texted him.

Namjoon stares at Taehyung who was now intently staring at his phone, looking quite flabbergasted, “Well, what is it?” he questions, a goofy grin now slowly appearing on the wavy haired young man’s face.

“I,” he lets out a chuckle, “I think I’m going on a date tomorrow night,” he faintly blushes, turning his phone to show Namjoon the text he just read, which reads:

[From: y/n]

[9:02 PM] you + me, tomorrow @ 5:30 , Ilsan lake park, i’ll bring what we need.

[9:02 PM] yes or yes?? 😇

[To: y/n]

[9:03 PM] i’ll see you then 😅

a/n 🧚🏻 : did I mention this is slow burn???? LOL. originally I was going to include date #2 on here because I only want this series to be a max of like 8-10 chapters, butttt I also wanted to update so ... but all the buildup will (hopefully) be worth itttt. the smut is coming soon in other words LMAO. I also took a while to update bc I was trying not to make y/n too annoying and just make the characterization how I pictured it to be, like I needed to establish the generalization she has on the Taehyung but IDK lmk what you think, message me, comment, send an anon, anything is welcome 🤍

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sparklingchan · 4 years

Text

Sun and Stars | Johnny Suh (NCT 127)

Pairing : Reader (fem.) X Johnny

Word count : 10k+

Warnings: A few cuss words here and there , gets a little suggestive towards the end. Not proof read sorry

Genre : Fluff,angst,romance , friends to lovers au ,college au.

Description: Johnny has no idea that you are head over heels for him - you intend to keep it that way.

A/N: I’ve been working on this fic for around a week now and I am sooo happy to finally be able to publish it (Johnny in a college au makes me feel a type of way ngl) This is the first time I’ve ever written a fic with more than 3k words so I’m not sure how its turned out so anyone who reads the entire thing,know that i am so,so grateful to you .

Also shoutout to my best friend @chogiwow for helping me out with writing and desrcibing and everything else. LY <3

Enjoy!

Johnny Suh has a habit of biting his nails when he is nervous, you have noticed , his eyes focused on whatever is directly in front of him and his leg fidgeting up and down continuously.

You have seen him look nervous on many occasions before - like the day of exams, sneaking alcohol to on campus events , group discussions with professors - but nothing will ever top the way he looks right now ; like he's standing on the edge of a bridge, ready to bungee jump.

"I told Professor Yun to give us at least a month and a half to organize everything properly but that man just plain refuses to listen to me because I bunked his class once !" Mark Lee has a big mouth ,that's public knowledge, but when he continues to pace inside the empty auditorium, you find yourself getting irritated at his non- stop comments .

"Has anyone else tried to talk to Yun about the extension of the date ? Someone who doesn't bunk his classes? " Lia asks, her arms crossed in front of her chest. You have seen your roommate look serious before but right now she looks almost as if she's about to go on a killing spree.

"Didn't y/n go to him yesterday? I remember seeing her near the staff room with him. " Johnny points out and suddenly all eyes are on you.

Your cheeks flush at the mention of your name from his mouth. //

The tense atmosphere in the auditorium was already making you uncomfortable enough but now , with the unwanted spotlight on you , you feel as if your body has been squeezed into a car's trunk.

"Umm.." you stutter,playing with hem of your oversized Linkin Park t-shirt, "yes. I did talk to him but he said no to me too. He didn't even let me explain our situation."

Mark groans loudly, his head between his hands. "We are so doomed. The authorities are going to remove me from the position of the president of the student body! I can feel it coming."

"I don't know about anyone else but I enjoy my position as the vice president of the student body council. And I am not going to give it up because you shitheads were too lazy to get things done quickly." Ryujin says , her eyes flaming with fury.

She's been running after all the student body members to start working on the upcoming inter college sport events for a whole week now . It's not her fault that the other members are starting to realize the urgency of the situation just two weeks prior to the event.( including the president, Mark Lee). She has the right to be angry.

"Okay ,everyone calm down. " You say, reluctantly,not wanting to be the centre of attention. You lick your dry lips before beginning to speak again, "We've wasted enough time worrying and talking okay? Let's go over the list of duties assigned and we can resume working again. "

"We just have two weeks, y/n. There's still so much left to do. We've barely started yet. " Ryujin whines, placing her head on Jungwoo's shoulder as he tries to shake her off.

"I know but if we work hard for say even ten days,we can get things done. We can stay back after college gets over and work and then rest on weekends. Exams are not arriving anytime soon either. "

"I agree with y/n. The event is next to next Monday so if we do overtime then we can still pull it off,despite everything." Johnny agrees , looking over at you with a charming smile. But instead of returning the smile, you look away ,cheeks tinted red.

Have you always been this nervous around him or does it have something to do with the sudden glow up he has had over the summer break? You don't know.

"Fine. Okay." Mark speaks out, "Jungwoo, can you go over the duties once again? And if possible take a picture of it and send it on our group chat. "

Nodding to Mark, Jungwoo takes out a sheet of paper from his pocket and starts reading it out. "So um... Mark and I are working on sending out invitations and collecting names of participants on the day of the event. Ryujin and Yuna are leading the decorating team. Lia,Taeyong and Johnny are working on the food stalls area and the packaging of free snacks for the participants. Jaehyun , Haechan and Doyoung are on the sound team for the DJ show after the events are over and lastly,Yeji, Chaeryong, y/n ,Yuta and Taeil are participating in the events so they will be busy with practice but we do expect them to manage the things overall and help us after class. "

Jungwoo looks out of breath after speaking for so long ,his chest heaving with each breath and his shoulders slumped.

"Okay, guys that will be all. Remember to do your jobs in your free periods and stay back after college." Ryujin says, clasping her hands together to symbolize the dismissal of today's student body meeting( more like a group stress out session).

You pick up your books and swing your bag across your shoulders while Ryujin pokes Jungwoo's cheeks with the sole purpose of annoying him but he flicks her fingers right away.

As you reach the exit of the auditorium, laughing at the bickering duo beside you and your hands reaching out to open the door , you see Johnny jogging up to you hastily and pushing the door open before you could.

"Ladies first." he says as he gestures for you to walk out , a sweet smile plastered on his lips.

Your heart hammers against your chest.

"Thank you." You murmur , avoiding his gaze as you walk out of the comfortable, air conditioned auditorium and into the scorching hot campus of your college.

You've always been this nervous around him, you realize, ever since you guys met in the first year of college - despite being a part of the same friend circle.

And how could you not? There are no books, no tutorials, no classes to teach you how to behave in front of your crush.

The student apartments are a good thirty minutes away from the college campus, and with the increasing velocity of Lia's car, your desire to flop down on your soft, cozy bed increases too.

"Yo ,anyone up for a girls night out tomorrow night? " Ryujin asks from the passenger's seat,not looking up from her phone. You see her fingers scrolling through the various new resto bars in town.

"Count me in. I am bored of eating Yeji's horrible food. " Chaeryong replies ,earning a punch from Yeji.

"If you're so good at cooking ,why don't you get your ass out of bed and cook?" Yeji spits back,rolling her eyes.

You laugh at your flatmates' childish tactics.

"Anyway, I'm in too." Yeji sighs, resting her head on your shoulder,sleepily.

"Yeah, me too!" Yuna chimes in.

"What about you ,Lia?" Ryujin asks her friend in the driver's seat.

Lia narrows her eyes at the road in front of her ,but you know for sure her mind is going over the pros and cons of going out tomorrow night. You've been her roommate for three years now ; you know her basically like the back of your own hand.

"I guess so,yeah." Lia says , changing the gear and turning over the corner into your appartment street.

"Okay ,that makes five out of six. Y/n?" Ryujin looks back at you , her pleading eyes drilling into yours.

As much as you want to relax and go out tomorrow night ,you have a busy schedule. Swimming practice for the sport events in the morning ,classes throughout the day, helping out with the organization and a study date with Yuta late at night. You are packed tomorrow.

That and you didn't want to get drunk on a week day.

"I'm sorry guys,I don't think I'll make it. I promised Yuta I'd study with him. " you say . Your flatmates groan out loud,throwing you dirty looks for ditching them for a stupid study date.

"Why does Yuta want to study with you anyway ? Your majors are like poles apart." Yuna mumbles.

Frankly, you didn't know why he wanted to study with you either. You were a computer science engineering student and his major was performing arts. But it's been a tradition between you two for quite a while now. Maybe you've gotten used to comfortable silence with him when you study , like music playing in background, not loud enough to distract you but loud enough to help you focus.

"Maybe it's not a study date with Yuta after all. Maybe it's just an excuse to see his roommate,right ,y/n?" Yeji teases ,nudging your ribs with her elbows.

You blush for the nth time today. "No. I'm going to have a normal study session with my best friend. Can y'all please not make everything about Johnny?" You huff.

You regret telling them about your fat ass crush on Johnny that one eventful night when you had so much alcohol that you couldn't even recognize your friends' faces as they carried you home. You should have just had apple juice or something.

Thankfully before the conversation could go on further , Lia pulls over in front of your apartment and you sigh in relief. "Yayy Home!" Ryujin chimes with fake enthusiasm as everyone gets down from the car.

Your shared bedroom with Lia is a little smaller than the bedroom that Yeji, Ryujin and Chaeryong share but you've never had a problem with that. It's cute and warm and it reminds you of your room in your parents' house .

"I'll shower first." Lia declares as she grabs her towel and walks straight into the bathroom. You sigh,too tired to compete with her for a bath. You drop on your bed, nuzzling your face into the soft pillow ,feet dangling by the edge of your bed.

And by the time Yeji walks into your room to ask what you want for dinner, you are already passed out ,with the image of Johnny's breathtakingly gorgeous grin on your mind.

Have you ever watched those cheesy rom com movies where the male lead lives in a dorm with five other boys and their rooms are so clean you wouldn't find a single piece of clothing out of place?

Well, reality is a bit different from that.

You stand in front of Yuta's apartment door which he shares with Johnny , Mark, Taeyong and Taeil , after your flatmates drop you off and make their way for their night out . You shiver as the cool night air kisses your bare arms and you can only hope someone let's you into the apartment before you freeze to death.

"Oh,hey y/n! " Taeil opens door with a welcoming smile , gesturing you to walk inside.

"Hi, Taeil. Took you guys long enough. " you say shivering , narrowing your eyes at the boy in front of you.

The smell of burnt pancakes hits your nose the moment Taeil locks the door behind you and your gaze immediately shifts to the kitchen where Mark and Taeyong are trying to desperately save some burnt pancakes.

"Well can you blame me? " Taeil shrugs , eyeing the two boys .

"Figured. " You say as you make your way towards Yuta 's bedroom . You hear Mark and Taeyong yell a few ' Hi's ' and 'wassup's ' in your direction and you reply to them without looking back at their sorry faces.

Yuta's ( and Johnny's) room is like a second home for you. You don't often hang out here but there's a homely feeling in the warm colored curtains and the smell of Johnny's favorite perfume and Yuta's anime posters.

"Wrong room. Johnny is in the other room." Yuta comments when you enter the room and you throw your notes at him,earning a fake groan in response.

You sit on the edge of his chair , putting out your books and notes on his study table, while he sits in a far corner of his bed , his study material spread out in front of him.

Studying with Yuta is always turns out to be productive for you. You both rarely talk while studying , your minds completley immersed in the hastily written notes and the only sound in the room being the scratching of pens against paper.

Maybe this was one of the many reasons why you preferred to study with him in his room (and totally not beacuse of Johnny who you are yet to meet).

After two and a half hours of being knee deep into your books ,you finally slam the books shut and stretch your limbs,relief flushing over you after looking at the many topics you covered tonight. You mentally pat yourself in the back.

"You done?" Yuta asks when he sees you scrolling through your phone, humming a song you'd heard on radio the other night.

You nod,not looking up at him.

He's about to add something when you hear the sound of shuffling feet outside the door , followed by a series of soft knocks. There is only one man in this apartment who could knock on a door as tenderly as that.

"What do you want ,dickwad?" Yuta yells as he falls onto his pillows. You glare at him. He's taking away your chances of seeing Johnny tonight. "Y/n is busy!"

Johnny peeks in through the door , his jet black hair messy and damp as if he'd just walked out of a shower. He wears a grey hoodie and a pair of black sweatpants yet he manages to look like he'd walked straight out of a sportswear advertisement. God really has his favorites, doesn't he?

"Hey, y/n. " he says ,completely ignoring Yuta's less than appropriate remarks. You feel a warm feeling spread in your entire body , adrenaline coursing through your veins. He sends a soft smile in your direction , his eyes turning into crescent moons ,and it is enough to make you feel weak in the knees.

"Hi, Johnny. " you manage to reply and smile back , unlike most days.

Johnny's heart leaps at your response ,not expecting you to be any different from other days when you would reply his enthusiastic greetings with a cold shoulder. Guess today is his lucky day.

"I didn't mean to disturb you guys ,sorry. I just wanted to know if you'd like to have dinner with us. We're getting Sushi. " he asks ,rubbing the back of his neck.

Your eyes fall on the sunflower tattoo on his forearm and you have this sudden urge to wrap your arms around his slim waist and bury your face in his chest.

"Yes,sure,I guess. " you say with a slight chuckle.

"Aren't you gonna ask me,too ,Johnny?" Yuta chimes in ,pouting and batting his eyes at him. Johnny rolls his eyes.

"Shut the fuck up ,Nakamoto. " he huffs.

Johnny looks over at you again and in a tone very different from the one he just used on Yuta, he asks, "Are you okay with sushi? We can order something else if you want."

"Oh,I love sushi! Don't worry about it. "

Lies. You hate sushi more than anything else in the entire universe.

The sushi is a lot more digestible today than those million times when Jaehyun and Yuta took you out to eat (forcefully) sushi.

It still doesn't suit your taste buds but you could eat it without wanting to throw up,thanks to the company you have .

You and Johnny sit face to face on the dining table while Yuta sits beside Johnny and Taeil ,Mark and Taeyong are in front of the television, watching a game of football.

"Hmm..this is really so good." Yuta exclaims as he takes the last piece and stuffs it inside his mouth . Fat ass.

"I know right. How are you liking it, y/n?" Johnny asks , his eyes shifting to you. You feel as if you're melting under his gaze. As if his eyes were the sun and you were ice.

"It's good. Really good. " you reply with a chuckle, forcing the last piece down your throat with a sip of water.

An achievement.

You hear Yuta's phone go off ,vibrating in his pockets along with that annoying ringtone of his.

"Yeah,what?" He speaks into the phone. You figure out it's one of his classmates by the careless tone of his voice.

"What the fuck? Are you serious?" Yuta screams , his voice now laced with urgency. His eyes widen, "We have a class test tomorrow? How did I not know about this?"

You look over at your panic stricken best friend and so does Johnny . Your gazes meet and the two of you burst into giggles.

Yuta rolls his eyes at the both of you but doesn't say anything. He gets up from his seat ,his phone still attached to his ear.

"Johnny,my dude,please walk my best friend home. I can't trust the others. Please. " Yuta says to Johnny and disappears off to his room , and you know for sure that he's going to cram his notes till the next morning.

Yuta's words lingers in the air between you and Johnny and you find a sudden interest in the hem of the table cloth in front of you. You rub the cloth between your thumb and forefinger ,the muslin cloth's soft texture distracting you from Johnny's intimidating gaze.

"So,um..when would you like to go back home?" He asks , not being able to muster up the courage to look into your eyes.

You chuckle- you didn't mean to but the bubbling laughter erupted from your throat and reached your lips before you could even stop it.

"Why? Do you want me out of your abode so bad? " you tease.

You never tease Johnny. You never even joke around with him. You don't smile at him ,you don't chuckle at him. Yet here we are.

You were being very brave today and you hated to admit it , but you liked it.

Johnny's eyes widen at your unexpected response as you once again surprise him by not giving him a cold, careless response. His heart does a backflip.

You have your lips curved up in a smile and your eyes focused on him.

This feels like a dream, to both of you.

"No, no ,of course not. You can stay for as long as you like." He replies nervously.

You shake your head with a soft giggle, " Thank you for the offer but it's very late now. All of us have a busy day tomorrow so we should get going now. "

The night air is cooler now than it had been when you arrived at the boys apartment and you regret not wearing warmer clothes.

Johnny walks along with you on the sidewalk, his eyes drifting to look over you once in a while. He carries your bag in his because he insisted that a lady shouldn't have to carry so many things when he's right there.

"Why do you never talk to me unless I talk to you first? " Johnny asks in a small voice after a few minutes of leaving their apartment.

Your body stiffens at the question, your mind desperately trying to come up with a proper reply. You want to answer him , with all honesty , that you can't do many things that you want to because of your never ending fears. You want to go bungee jumping but you're afraid of heights , you want to talk to him first but you're afraid he won't share the same enthusiasm as you.

You were afraid of attachments and afraid of the unknown, both of which were complete opposites of the other.

"That's not true." You reply,trying to laugh it off.

He looks at you with sorrowful eyes, not quite returning your laugh. You feel your heart clench.

"Have I done anything to offend you ,y/n? If yes ,then please let me know because I really care about you and I would hate to disappoint you. " he says.

The streets are quite and calm and for a moment, it is only you and Johnny in this vast universe - his beautiful black eyes and your warm cheeks , his tousled hair and your nervous hands.

"No ,you haven't disappointed me. It's just...that we're in a big friend circle and it's not possible to ,you know ,be close with everyone. "

That is a pathetic excuse, y/n, you tell yourself.

His lips curve up in a small smile now, the worried wrinkles from the corner of his eyes disappearing.

"We can be, y /n. Of course we can. Shall we start from now on then?" He replies , enthusiastically, thrusting his hand in your direction.

Your heart thumps at a speed faster than the speed of light as you decide whether or not to shake his perfectly shaped, veiny,soft hand.

You're afraid of attachments.

But you're also madly in love with Johnny Suh.

You take his hand.

It is late in the evening at your college and you know for sure that you'll be bashed the moment you step into the auditorium .

After classes got over ,you had promised Lia that you'd help with the food stalls allotation and decoration but you ended up staying back with your swim team ,discussing strategies for the final competition day , hence causing your delay.

You look over at Johnny who stands outside the auditorium door , helping the decorating team with some posters and flyers.

"Mark is mad." he says when he sees you rushing towards the door, struggling with all the books and posters and ribbons in your hands.

You sigh, " I know, goddamn it."

He opens the door without saying anything and walks behind you into the auditorium, much to your surprise.

You see Mark standing by the stage , letting out frustrated noises and pointing at random decorations which didn't need fixing but according to him they did. Oh , boy,was he mad.

"Mark, " you jog towards him, trying to get a proper hold of things you are carrying before you find a table to dump them on.

"Gosh,y/n! You are an hour and a half late! We have so much to do and only ten days are left!" He yells at you,pointing at his wrist watch.

You squeeze your eyes shut to lessen the impact of his annoyingly loud voice.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I was with the team and well..we lost track of time. I'm so sorry again ,okay? I'll get to work right now. " you say,standing in front of the angry,tiny man in front of you.

You arch your back, trying to hold on to the things in your arms without letting anything fall onto the ground. You had one too many things to carry and sadly only two hands.

"I'll get that for you." You feel two hands grab your things from behind,the arms going over your shoulders and taking the chart papers and ribbons from your hold.

And you don't even have to look back to know that it is Johnny. You have him memorised by heart - from the color of his eyes to the softness of his fingertips, from his soothing, honey like voice to his smell. He's like a book you've read a fair amount of times yet ,you never seem to get tired of it.

"Thank you. " you manage to reply through the loud sound of your heartbeat and gushing of blood in your ears.

You almost miss the warmth of his body when he walks away to put your things on the table .

You know what , " Mark starts. He looks like he's about to throw up. On you. "Just get back to work. Ew. Fuck. Y'all really getting handsy in front of my innocent eyes."

You look at him with wide eyes. "Hey, we were not - "

And if Ryujin had not interrupted you at that moment, you'd have beaten the hell out Mark Lee ; not because he had accused you of doing something you didn't do but because he had triggered a part of your imagination you didn't even know you had.

It is on the same night that Yeji makes you sit on the auditorium floor and color the huge college logo they had been outlining since the morning , while half of the squad goes out to buy some cheap dinner and cold drinks and the other half is working outside the auditorium.

"I can't believe you are leaving me alone in this huge auditorium. " you mutter when Yeji jogs towards the door to join the others. So much for being friends since childhood.

"We'll be back in fifteen to twenty minutes, y/n. " she replies. " or do you want me to call Johnny to keep you company in this huge ,empty auditorium?"

You roll your eyes at her,hoping she's joking about it. But apparently not because within two minutes , you see Johnny walking up towards you.

His presence as if automatically puts a smile on your face ,like flipping on a light switch. You usually tense up on seeing him but from the last few days, things have been different, better even.

"Woah,this looks so cool." He says as he sits across from you, a pen and notepad in his hands. He smiles at you with so much sincerity that it takes everything in you to not throw yourself at him and press a kiss to his dimples.

"I know. But I'm afraid my poor coloring skills are going to ruin it. " you comment. You dip the brush in your hands into the bowl of water sitting beside you.

"I'm sure it'll be good. It looks good already." He replies, his voice laced with fascination. You giggle at his words , as you stretch your hands and back, groaning from all the pent up tension in your joints. Something you wouldn't have dared to do in front of him a few weeks ago.

Johnny laughs. " I can help you if you want . You can rest till the others come back. " You don't even think twice before agreeing.

As long as he's near you , it doesn't matter.

He comes up to sit by your side ,grabbing the paint brush and starting to fill colors into the blank spaces. With his eyes focused on the picture , you sit back and take in the view in front of you. The long sleeves of his tshirt are rolled upto the elbow, exposing the veins on his forearm. There is dirt and dust on his pants from all the work he's been doing today and then your eyes fall on his face, absorbing the handsome features god had bestowed him with. You notice a few strands of longer hair falling over his forehead, covering his eyes as he struggles to remove them with his non dominant hand. And before you can stop yourself , your fingers find their way to his forehead, pushing his hair away softly.

"Thanks,y/n." He says with a shy smile, the undeniable shine in his eyes almost makes you see a ray of hope - that Johnny Suh might be harboring the same feelings for you that you do for him. Your heart swells with excitement.

And without even realizing it, you feel yourself find comfort in his warm presence.

Your middle school maths teacher had once told you that time passes in the blink of an eye when there's an imminent danger at the end of the line and truly so ,the next few days fly pass by like wind and you soon find yourself running from place to place to make sure all finishing touches are done.

"Did you check out the pool areas and basketball bleachers? " Jaehyun asks, as you two make your way to the auditorium where Mark and Ryunin were to hold a last group meeting before tomorrow's big day. "Yeah. I did. Twice." You reply, stressing on the last word. Jaehyun heaves a tired sigh and you two turn a corner to walk toward the auditorium.

Your heart rate picks up when you see a familiar face standing in front of the door, leaning against a pillar. And you find your lips automatically stretching into a smile. "What is he doing outside ? Is the meeting over? " Jaehyun asks when he notices Johnny.

You shrug , "Don't know."

Oh,but you do know why he's outside ; this has now become an unsaid tradition between you two to wait for the other during group meetings. Johnny didn't acknowledge it,neither did you, but it was there, as distinct as Mark Lee's voice.

He sees you and his face breaks into a grin, his cheeks flushed and heart racing just like yours. And it makes the light at the end of the tunnel shine brighter.

"Is the meeting over yet?" Jaehyun asks Johnny, you following close behind.

"No,not even started." Johnny replies and then turns to you, his eyes burning into yours. " And Y/n and I have been instructed to buy tonight's dinner so we I'll borrow her for a while."

Your eyes widen at the new information but you see Jaehyun shrug and walk inside as if it weren't a big deal - but it was, you will be out alone with Johnny and it was making you feel sick , in a good way.

"Shall we get going?" He asks you ,cocking his eyebrows playfully.

You nod ,trying to hide your red cheeks. And he sees them.

You've been into his car only a a few times , most of which you don't remember because either you were too drunk or too sleepy to register what was happening around you. This is the first time you are actually inside his car,mind and body, sitting in the passenger's seat and taking in Johnny's smell that lingers in every corner of the car.

You notice how tidy the car looks,the clean seats and windows, no extra tissues lying here and there, no money receipts crushed into seat pockets, his car is everything Lia's isn't. The drive to the convenient store is short and silent - except for a few glances you both steal at each other without the other knowing.

"What should we get? Instant noodles or something else?" He asks you as you two look around the different aisles, walking close together that you didn't even realise your shoulder was pressed to his arm till he stopped abruptly in front of the fridge.

You clear your throat, "Let's get instant noodles. That's what they eat always anyway."

He nods and you grab enough instant noodles and drinks for your entire squad and soon find yourself back in the car with him.

You settle yourself into the seat as he climbs into the driver's seat,looking apparently angry, his eyebrows knitted and mouth turned into a frown.

"What's wrong? " you ask him ,concerned.

He looks over at you , with a small, guilty smile on his lips. He shakes his head , "Nothing. It's a ridiculous thought I had suddenly. "

"Come on ,tell me ." You whine , hitting his arm softly, "I'm sure its not a ridiculous thought. "

His smile widens but he doesn't answer ,instead he just leans toward you, Your faces just inches apart. If you were nervous before now you are completely sure you're about to lose your mind. You had imagined these scenarios in your head many times before ,but if truth be told, it feels way better in real life. The close proximity of your bodies , mixed breathings and his intense eyes staring at you like you're his favorite pizza, like you're a sunday morning after a very tiring week , like you're a beautiful flower in the middle of a field of weeds.

"W-what?" You stutter nervously. He chuckles , stretching his hand out to reach for the seatbelt and pull it across your body and then locks it tightly.

"It is a very , very ridiculous thought,y/n." he whispers. He is still leaning so close to you and you know for sure that if you weren't sitting already ,your knees would have given up below you.

"I'm sure it's not." You mumble but you're not sure if he hears you.

When you reach the auditorium, you find your friends sprawled on the floor, some playing with their phones and some having a mid college existential crisis.

"Guys,we're back. " Johnny announces enthusiastically as he runs towards the group, all of their faces lighting up when they see the food your hands.

But you feel far away from them, like you are there but your heart is not,like your heart has been left behind in Johnny's car,covered in his scent and his intoxicating gaze.

"Y/n, why do you look like you've seen a ghost? " Lia points out that night , lying on her bed with her blanket wrapped around her body. You shrug and let out a fake ass shit giggle, "No, I'm just nervous...for tomorrow, you know."

"Don't be. I'm sure you'll do great and even if you don't, we have an after party to wash all your sorrows away. " she says with an excited smile.

"Oh wow,that's great. " you reply with another fake chuckle.

Oh wow, you'll have to be around Johnny the whole day tomorrow. You are not sure if you are ready to see him yet.

Lia narrows her eyes at you but let's it slip,and you're thankful for that ,for you wouldn't know what to tell her when she insists on knowing your thoughts.

Could anyone blame you though, you'd had an almost moment with your crush. How could anyone expect you to be okay right now?

The weather prediction for today was sunny with a few clouds , but if only anyone could have prepared you for what you were going to see the moment you stepped into the college campus.

You'd felt jealous before , no lie there. You remember the time you saw Johnny hanging out with Yeri, one of your juniors, and laughing with her like there's no tomorrow and you had never wanted to annihilate a human so bad . You hate being jealous. You hate the burning of your heart in your chest ,the accumulation of sweat on your palms, the warm,angry breaths you push out from your nostrils.

"Who is that?" You sound like a bad , jealous female character from a drama when you ask that question but you cannot help yourself anymore. Not when you see a girl from another college running into your Johnny's arms ,giggling like a little girl .

"I-I honestly don't know. He never told us about any girl ." Taeyong says as he looks at your exasperated expression and then at Johnny's excited face. Taeyong is almost angry at Johnny for hurting his friend.

"Yea,he only ever talked about you ." Jaehyun adds from beside you.

But it didn't seem like that from where you stood. You see Johnny wrap his arm around the girl and crush her in his embrace, just how he'd crushed your heart into a million pieces. Something as fragile and previous as your heart and he decided to play with it? Why did he act all nice and sweet to you when he already had another woman in his life? Why did he give you hope only to leave you in the dark?

"Come on , y/n. Don't overthink about it. I'm sure she's just a friend." Taeyong says ,softly tugging at your arm to move you away from that scene.

Taeyong and Jaehyun, in reality, were shocked too. They had never heard Johnny talk about any girl in that way but you. They were sure one day or other,you'd end up together. They were as surprised (and disappointed) as you were.

"Has he ever told you that he liked me? Even once?" Your voice cracks as you feel your eyes fill with tears. "Maybe she's not just a friend. "

Jaehyun rubs your back comfortingly, worried about how he'll have to handle Yuta when he finds out Johnny broke his best friend's heart. Gosh,its going to be a world war.

"He has never openly said anything about liking you ,but he did talk about you a lot. Even until yesterday...we were sure he liked you,dude." Taeyong says .

You shake your head, "If he did like me ,he'd have told you guys. He doesn't and that's the end of it."

And although it shatters your ego , you look away from the pair and walk toward the swimming pool complex where your team awaits you.

When you enter the pool area, Taeyong and Jaehyun immediately run toward the audience to be with the others.

And you find your gang-sans Johnny- waving at you from the audience as you walk up to the registration desk and put in your name.

Your heart feels so heavy ,like those dumbbells that Yuta uses ,but a thousand times more heavier. You have no desire or energy to swim anymore. You just want to lie in bed and cry your heart out.

But sadly you didn't have much of an option..

"Good luck, y/l/n. Go easy on the opponents." Your coach tells you with a chuckle. You force a smile as you nod. Talk about overestimating one's skills.

You enter the changing room and quickly strip off all your clothes ,leaving you in your tight Speedo swimsuit . You tie your hair in a ponytail and are about to head out when someone bumps into you ,quite roughly to be frank.

"Watch out ,girl,jeez. " you mutter to her,rubbing your sides.

The jealousy from a few minutes ago comes back but this time not in the form of drizzle, this time it's a whole storm.

It's the same girl from before, the one with Johnny.

"I'm so sorry. " the girl says ,looking back at you with an apologetic look.

She's pretty,you realize. Long black hair and a mole under her eye ,she looks like she could be a model in training somewhere. Long eyelashes , a slim waist and perfectly smooth looking skin ,she has everything you ever wanted ,including Johnny Suh. She's pretty ,prettier than you at least.

"What's your name?" You don't want to know that name ,yet those words spill out of your mouth.

"I'm Joy. From the performing arts college." She thrusts her hand towards you for a handshake. " and you?"

"I'm y/n. " you reply ,the frown on your lips never once leaving .

"You're swimming too ,right? It's going to be great!" She says.

"Yeah,its going to be really great. " you take her hand.

You can't have Johnny ,but at least you can have the trophy.

The four basic stroke races get over within the first one hour of the competition and needless to say ,by the time the relay race was announced , you had three gold medals already in your possession.

"Relax your body." Your coach tells your team of girls while you stand in line,ready for the relay race to begin. "Y/n, since you're going last , put in all your energy. We need to win this last round to get the grand trophy."

Directly in front of you, you see your two other teammates stand and stretch their arms by the pool’s edge , their faces bright with a hint of excitement and nervousness. Beside them ,you see Joy and her other pretty friend getting for the race too. With her tight red swimsuit and perfectly done forearm tattoo , she has everyone's attention on her. And you bet that everyone in the audience was rooting for her.

You nod at your coach's words while he turns around to speak with your partner as you once again look at your new mortal enemy, your teeth gritting unconsciously and your gaze turning more into a glare.

"Yayyy!!! Y/n,let's get it!" You hear your friends cheer from and you giggle for the first since this stupid day began. Mark ,Yuta and Taeyong are cheering for you on top of their lungs while the girls are holding posters with your name written on them . You wonder when they had the time to make them. And the rest of the guys are clapping their hands like there's no tomorrow.

Everyone except Johnny.

He sits in between Mark and Haechan, his eyes practically glued to your frame and your eyes meet his for an annoyingly long second, he smiles at you and mouths 'best of luck .'

You look away from him ,your body burning with rage. So now he's going to pretend to know you? Or maybe he wasn't waving at you at all,maybe he is just looking at Joy and your self absorbed mind assumed that he was looking at you? Possibilities are infinite but time is not; time is very precious.

"You guys have to win okay?" You hear the coach say one last time , before patting you on your heads and walking away.

Somewhere behind you ,you hear a stand by whistle go off and your team mates on the opposite side immediately walk up on the platform.

"On your marks."

Thump.

"Get , set."

Thump.

"Go!"

The race starts off pretty smoothly, your teammate cutting through the water as if this is everything she'd ever known ,her speed unmatched with anyone else's. And when she reaches your side,your partner immediately jumps off into the water , the steady speed still maintained.

The next few seconds pass fleet away in the blink of an eye and soon your turn comes up ,you realize, as you climb up to the platform ,bending over to take a diving position.

And when your body hits the water ,you feel all the anger ,rage, sadness, envy being channeled into strength and energy. Your body moves against the waves like that it what it was meant to be doing ; not running, not walking but swimming.

Your ears block out all noises around you,your mind focusing on nothing but the finish line.

And the very second your hand touches the wall on the opposite side , your body relaxes and your head pops out of the water like a cork. The audience erupts into claps and cheers and whistles and your name being repeated on everyone's tongue.

Panting and smiling and fist pumping together at the same time is tiring but you do it anyway.

After all,you'd just won your team the swimming trophy.

You feel a little light headed but it doesn't affect you at all ; you had proven yourself in front of your friends and teachers once again .

Johnny and His lovely Joy can go eat shit for all you care. ( you do care about Johnny , you're just being stupid rn)

"I'm so proud of you , baby !" Ryujin helps you up from the pool while the other girls engulf you in a hug ,not minding the fact that your entire body is dripping wet with the chlorinated pool water.

The guys arrive shortly after and Yuta presses a loving kiss on your head, "Congratulations, bitch."

But amongst the crowd of people surrounding you, the pats on your back and side hugs,the happy faces congratulating you, you feel almost empty. Like something was missing. Like the last piece of an almost completed puzzle .

Your eyes scan the people around you , looking for none other than Johnny and when you finally spot him, your heart breaks even more as if it already wasn't completely smashed into tiny pieces .

Joy has tears of failure running down her face and Johnny brushes them away with his thumbs, her head finding a comfortable place on his shoulders.

You'd always wondered what it must feel like to be in such an intimate situation with Johnny. You had wanted to experience it ,first hand , but by the looks of it, that might never happen.

Beacuse you winning the competition is not more important than Joy losing it.

Beacuse you are not more important than Joy.

"What do you mean you don't want to go to the after party? " Yuta has been hanging out with Mark way too much, you think. His voice is almost,if not more, as loud and annoying as Mark's now.

"I don't feel very good. Can you please drop me home? Then you guys can go and have fun." You reply, not quite looking at your best friend. You're afraid he'd be able to read through you , just how he always does.

"This is not about you , is it? It's about Johnny. Taeyong and Jaehyun told me." There he goes.

"Think whatever you want. I just want to be alone for a while, please." You say.

He pauses the music playing in the car, tugging at the sleeve of your tshirt.

The image of Johnny and Joy flash in your mind ,still fresh even though it happened a almost five hours ago. You remember how tenderly Johnny had held her and how lovingly Joy had stared at him.

“I really thought he liked me ,you know. I don’t even blame him right now. I should have known better than to get attached,break my oath of forever maintaining distance from him. “ you speak in a hoarse voice, the lump in your throat growing painfully.

Yuta stares at you for a few seconds,then shakes his head with his eyes on the car dashboard, “Its not your fault either, y/n. All of us thought he liked you too.”

You see Yuta take out the keys from his pocket and the pretty,yellow flower keychain attached with it.Johnny had given him that on his last birthday,you recall.

Your eyes drift to various places in the car, from the blue heart sticker on the mirror, to the bills stacked into the pockets, the empty cold drink bottles and the smell of lavender spray in the air, everything reminds you of the man you were trying so hard not to think about.

You start softly crying.

"Y/n, goddamnit, you won the completion! You are our swimming champion. And you helped us organize this event too. You're today's star. Would you really let that asshole ruin it?" Yuta demands,passing over a tissue to you.

The words ' that asshole ' stick with you , stinging your heart which was still in love with Johnny but you don’t say anything. Yuta was only trying to make you feel better.

Not earning a reply from you,he groans,"I don't care what you want ,y/n. We're going to the after party at Haechan's family farm house and staying there tonight. That's Final. " he declares , turning the key and you hear the car engine revving.

"I'll cry if I see him. " you pout,sniffing.

"Don't worry, if he makes you cry,I'll kill him.." Yuta replies as you drive off to Haechan's farm house.

The entire drive, your mind keeps playing the moments you were trying so hard to forget and you hated it. So,so much. You felt like a prisoner in your own mind.

Yesterday night , in the car,when Johnny leaned down towards you, you could have sworn that he was in love with you.

But now, not as much.

You wonder if Joy had felt special when he comforted her ,because you sure as hell would have. You would have held him like the earth was ending today and he was only thing that could keep you alive.

"We're here. " Yuta announces as you pull over in front of the huge mansion just a little away from your college campus.

You have been here many times before so the beauty of the house doesn't baffle you anymore but your eyes do go wide in realization of how rich Haechan's family really is. Every damn time.

As you step out of the car , your sneakers squeaking against the ground beneath you, you can already hear the loud music coming from the lawn and the smell of barbecued food and alcohol makes you almost want to enjoy the party.

"You're late,y/n!" A very drunk Doyoung walks towards you ,Taeil waddling behind him with two glasses of vodka shots in his hands.

"I know I'm sorry. I hope I didn't miss much." you say ,slightly embarrassed at the fact that you almost skipped the party.

They both hug you tightly as you wince from the strong smell of alcohol, "Congratulations ,sweetheart!" Taeil slurs while Doyoung sings, " we are the champion ~" on the top of his lungs.

"Gosh,yeah,thanks guys." you push their intoxicated bodies away with Yuta's help and make your way towards the lawn where your friends sit around a bonfire , dancing ,singing ,talking ,having the time of their lives. You find yourself smiling a little on seeing at their happy faces. Your eyes roam around the group until they find Johnny , eating roasted marshmallows from a small plate and your first instinct is almost to say ' hi ' but you remember Joy and how painfully sweet they were with each other and you revert your eyes from him the moment he looks in your direction. Your heart paces rapidly, yearning for his attention but you know you wouldn't get it ,no matter what, so you walk inside the house, into the kitchen to grab something for yourself.

"That piece of shit Yeji burnt the meat." Chaeryong complains to you as she volunteers to fill your plate with food. You wonder how many more such swimming competitions you'd have to win for your friends to be this generous with you everyday. "Thank god Taeil saved it before he got horribly drunk." , she adds.

You giggle a little.

All of a sudden, you feel a tap on your shoulder and when you turn around , you are filled with dread. But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t expect this.

" Hey,y/n. Congratulations on winning the trophy!" Johnny says with a bright smile.

As if you give two shits about it, you find yourself thinking for a split second. You look up at the tall man towering over you,smiling like he didn't butcher your heart earlier. He wears a warm grey hoodie with his favorite and probably only pair of blue jeans. His hair is slicked backwards ,exposing the forehead you'd often wait so eagerly to see. His signature cologne makes you feel weak , and if you weren't sober ,you knew things would have gone down pretty quick.

But you can't be rude to him - you could never be rude to him even if you wanted to.

"Thanks." You mutter in a small voice,taking the plate from Chaeryong.

Johnny furrows his eyebrows at your dull reaction and then eyes Chaeryong as if to ask what happened. She shrugs and awkwardly walks away from you two.

Brilliant. Now you have to face Johhny alone.

"Is something wrong,y/n?" He asks ,his concerned voice sending shivers down your body.

You shake your head, "No. Why do you ask?" You look around the place to look for your best friend. Where's he when you need him the most?

Johnny leans over closer to you. "You were ignoring me during the competition but I shrugged it off. And now you're acting like that again. " he says ,his breath fanning for against the side of your face, "I must have done something. "

You want to push him away but as shameless as it sounds , you were enjoying this attention he was giving you and even more than that, you were enjoying how physically close he was to you.

But it didn't mean you would forgive him. Or Joy for that matter.

"Why should you care," you chuckle sarcastically , "I'm not Joy. So don't bother."

Change of mind - maybe you could be rude to him if you tried really,really hard.

His face twists in further confusion.

" How do you know her? And why is she in this conversation again?" He asks,now softly pushing you against the kitchen counter , his hands on either side of you. He has you trapped ,literally.

You sigh, trying to hide the burning of your cheeks and the drying of your throat. You can't let your guard down. "I saw you...with her in the morning. Hugging, staring at each other like you saw the galaxy in each other's eyes. " you huff , your heart heavy from the pain that memory brings.

Johnny laughs , a deep, genuine laughter,erupting from his throat fills the kitchen. You feel like you were walking in the same tunnel again, Johnny waiting for you at the end with a source of light in his hands.

"Are you perhaps ," he leans in closer to your face, just like last night in the car ,"jealous?"

Of course you were jealous. You had always been jealous of anyone who was privileged enough to enjoy Johnny's extremely pleasant company ,especially in your absence.

" No. " Liar.

He presses his lips together in a line ,as if trying to suppress a smile.

"Then why are you turning red like a tomato?" He asks.

You turn your face away from him ,trying to move away from his grasp but he gently puts his index finger under your chin and makes you look at him.

"Y/n, Joy is my cousin." he says. Guilt punches you in the stomach like your stomach were a punching bag and the guilt was a boxer,strong and determined. You feel the blood pulsating in your ears ,in your throat ,in your temples. "I am not dating her or seeing her or whatever you think I'm doing with her. "

You look down at your feet but he makes you look at him again "I'm sorry." You mutter

"Do you remember last night I told you I had some useless thoughts?" He asks you ,his right hand now wrapping around your waist.

You nod your head ,the shame and guilt of falsely accusing him and Joy of something they never did not allowing you to look directly into his eyes.

"This is what I wanted to do. " he pulls your chin closer ,as you stand on your tip toes. Your faces were just so close ,you could feel his lips brush past yours, "May I?" He breathes.

You only find a small whisper to reply him with, "Yes. "

The feeling of his lips pressing against yours was something even your imagination couldn't have prepared you for. His soft, tender touch mixed with the urgency of the kiss made it feel even more surreal than it already was. Your noses glide against each other as he presses you closer and closer till there was no ' closer ' left. He held you firmly by the waist and your hands found their way around his neck as you depended the kiss,your tongues touching and breaths matching each other. You could feel the taste of the marshmallows from earlier and your stomach feels all giddy and excited.

And by the time you both pull away, you are panting, struggling to catch your breath as he supports your body against the counter.

"I like you ,y/n. I always have. I just didn't know how to approach you. " he says , brushing a few hair strands away from your forehead, "And I'm so sorry for making you upset today."

You giggle a little, confused whether to reply to his confession or accept his apology.

You decide to do both. " I like you ,too,Johnny Suh. So much. " you lean your forehead on his ," and it's fine. You didn't mean to make me feel bad ,I was being paranoid. I'm sorry too. "

Johnny pulls away to look at you ,his swollen lips curved into a heartwarming smile.

"I bet you looked cute while being jealous." He says , pecking your nose softly.

You don't reply ; instead you stare at his eyes, your heart pumping out these overwhelming emotions that you couldn't quite understand yet but liked it nevertheless. Your eyes shine like the sky on a cloudless night,making his knees feel like jelly and butterflies erupting in his stomach. At that moment , you realise that it was your eyes wherein he found his galaxy , his sun and stars - not Joy, not any other woman - it was always been you.

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2jaeh · 5 years

Text

Cigarette - csy

[ cigarette - offonoff prompt #16 ]

- Seungyoun is in a troubled relationship until he meets his neighbor who is willing to bring back a part of himself. -

ANGST ; FLUFF

I would I would be your light and I would I would shine you brighter Oh I wish I be your last Smoke up a glimpse of heaven

You heard a crash for the third time on this summer night, your neighbors slipping into their usual arguments. Groaning, you turned up the volume on your earphones and tried to continue sketching the vase of flowers you had been working on for hours now.

Every night since you had moved into this apartment block a few months ago, your neighbors would be quarreling over God knows what. They were a young couple who you'd seen only once when you were taking the trash out one night.

You remember the look on both of their faces when you stepped outside. It seemed that they were in the middle of another argument but the disheveled guy sent you a sweet smile while his girlfriend scowled and pulled him back into the apartment building.

You wondered why were they together if all they ever did was fight. How could you end up hating someone you once fell in love with ?

Shaking your head you returned back to your sketch and nodded your head to the beat, finally feeling a sense of comfort when your favorite artist sang out his sweet words.

"Get out!" You heard her scream followed by their balcony door sliding open and slammed shut.

You were not one for meddling in other people's business, but you felt an urgency to check if whoever was out there was okay, and not planning to do anything risky.

Slipping your phone into your back pocket you made your way to your balcony and sure enough your neighbor was there, leaning over the railing exhaling the smoke from his cigarette.

His black hair fell over his face as he took another drag from his cigarette and stretched his arms above his head, exposing a tattooed gun on his side.

"Uhm is everything okay ?" You managed to say unsure if it was loud enough for him to hear.

He turned to face you and the similar smile he had given you before graced his face despite his tired eyes.

"Im sorry about that, you weren't sleeping were you ?" He scratched the back of his head.

"I was drawing actually and I got a bit afraid when I heard someone come out to the balcony" you chuckled shyly.

He took another pull of his cigarette and flicked it over the railing.

"H-hey that's dangerous" Your eyes widened and peered over the railing hoping nobody was walking around at this time.

The boy chuckled and raised his hands in defense.

"It's a force of habit and my mind is not all that together right now"

"If a stray cat eats it I hope you know it's all your fault"

"whoa that got deep" He giggled and held out his hand, " Im Cho Seungyoun."

You took his hand in yours and his cold slender fingers caressed yours, making you pull away and immediately felt flustered.

"Oh im y/n" You pressed your lips together and stuffed your hands into the pockets of your jacket.

Seungyoun stared at you, studying your reaction to him before you both heard a noise emitting from his apartment.

"I have to go. Sorry about the noise it was nice meeting you" he nodded as the bright smile disappeared from his face and retreated into his apartment.

You had no idea why you sympathized with him not knowing their story, not knowing how he probably had a different persona which was now hidden by the ups and downs of a toxic relationship.

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Seungyoun sat in the campus studio wrapping up his segment on their fairly popular radio show. Even though he had his notes and handled the show pretty well, it was evident that his mind was elsewhere.

He thought back to the little exchange that happened on his balcony just over two weeks ago. It was brief, but he had not felt a sense of calmness like that in a long time. The way she freaked out about the cigarette bud or the fact that she was worried about the severity of his fight that she checked up on him without even knowing who he was.

"okay everybody this last one's called Breathe by Lauv, not sure why it's been stuck in my head all day but I think it's a good track to kick off the weekend" he spoke into the mic, switching on the song and began packing up.

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You removed your earphones and frowned as you heard a now familiar voice blare out of the lecture room speakers and one of your favorite songs filled the entire room.

'did he hear the music coming from my apartment ?' you furrowed your brows and slumped into your chair. For the past week in order to get you through a project you played your music out loud in order to drown out the neighbors and get yourself focused.

You shook your head getting rid of any speculations involving Seungyoun knowing he obviously had his plate full with his own issues to even bother about someone he had met for a few minutes one night.

You plugged in your earphones and made your way downtown to meet a friend at your favorite indie street.

"Yohan!" You waved as the tall dark haired boy handed you an iced latte.

"record store ?" Yohan pointed over to one of your frequent spots and you nodded happily as the two of you made your way over.

The record store was fairly empty as usual so the owner allowed you to play whatever you liked on the jukebox while you browsed through the store.

You chose an upbeat song by Hyukoh and danced around crazily with Yohan as you two discussed the humorous covers of early 80s albums.

The doorbell of the store snapped the two of you out of your teasing session and you realized Seungyoun had walked through the front door.

"Hey y/n" he smiled sweetly surprised to find you in one of his frequent spots and approached the two of you. He looked so much better up close and relaxed. You could finally see life in his eyes as he grinned from ear to ear and you had to admit that it made you happy that he was happy.

"Oh hey Seungyoun, I didn't know you visited this area" You replied as Yohan cleared his throat next to you, making it known that he felt left out.

"This is my friend Yohan and Yohan this is my neighbor Seungyoun" you added.

"The noisy one ?" Yohan asked and you responded by nudging him in his side

"ow!" he whined before catching the hint.

"Yes Im the noisy neighbor" Seungyoun sighed his eyes drifting to yours and bit down on his lip

"Do you want to hang out ? I kinda owe you for being the only one to check up on me."

You looked up at Yohan who you know was more than happy to leave you since he was probably going on a date later on.

"Yes you may take the annoying one out, I have stuff to do" Yohan teased and ruffled your hair before making his way out of the store.

You muttered a curse word under your breath and neatened your hair when you suddenly felt another hand moving the strands away from your face. Seungyoun pulled his hand away when he realized his actions had startled you both and gestured for you to lead the way out of the store.

He had no idea why he did that. He didn't know how to act around her. Why was he intrigued ? Why was he comfortable around a stranger ?

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The two of you talked about your majors and you learned that Seungyoun was studying music which was a job you always admired. Even though you had a passion for music your love for art overpowered and since you happened to have a talent in it, it was the one that stuck.

Once you reached your apartment block you noticed Seungyoun go quiet for a while and you assumed this was now the end of your session with him.

"Do you want to hang out at my place ? I can order us food" He finally said facing you. His eyes were eager and although he knew how bold the question was, he was hoping for a positive outcome.

"Will your girlfriend be okay with it ?" You said in a low voice.

"We parted ways a few days ago and this is my apartment, so she doesn't really have anything here" He explained as the distasteful emotions began making its way back.

"Well sure we can hang" You smiled brightly and watched as his eyes lit up like a kid.

Seungyoun led you into his apartment and you marveled at the stack of records he had laying around as well as interesting album art he had up on his walls. It seemed warm and inviting, unlike the arguments that bounced off its frame every night.

Seungyoun cleared a spot on the floor in front of the coffee table and brought over a bottle of soju and two shot glasses.

"I'll order fried chicken is that okay ?" he quirked his brow taking a seat and opened up the delivery app.

"Chicken sounds good" you gave him a thumbs up as he chuckled at your corny gesture and placed the order.

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Time became non existent as Seungyoun listened carefully to you explaining the meanings behind the artwork of his favorite albums. He paid attention to the details, making sure to ask questions in order to see the passion that radiated from your eyes as you spoke. It made him feel as if you two were meant to cross paths.

That night you had come to the rescue he was in debate on whether he should pack up his life here and just move to another city. It will fix everything he thought. Him and Yuna can start fresh and maybe rekindle whatever was left of their sour relationship.

But for once he felt as if his home was actually his home. It felt warm and sentimental. It didn't remind him about the endless fights about him quitting his music to get a real job, or to be like the next perfect guy Yuna had met at med school - it reminded him of himself and it will now remind him of you.

"Thank you y/n" He whispered, throwing his head back on the couch and closed his eyes.

"for ?" You quizzed, watching a small grin spread across his face.

"Just allowing me to be myself again"

"I want to thank you too" You sighed and mimicked his position.

"me ?" he frowned and looked over in confusion.

"Yeah well nobody really listens to me or lets me talk about what im actually interested in so this was really refreshing for me, so thank you Seungyoun" You mused and nudged him playfully.

The two of you basked in each others company in silence not needing a conversation in order to feel comfortable until you fell asleep - probably the most blissful sleep both of you had in months.

#X1 Prompt #x1 imagines #x1 scenarios #seungyoun #seungyoun angst #seungyoun au #seungyoun imagines #x1 fanfic #offonoff #x1 seungyoun #x1 angst #x1 reactions #x1fics

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