#get nullified after bringing in a doctors note or job note | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

conditionaljewel · 6 years ago

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So, let me recap the past few months.

Back in August and September, my depression and anxiety were affecting me so badly that I was missing days of work because of it. It led to me getting into therapy and getting on meds, which helped, and my therapists were able to help me file some paperwork with my company to get me some reasonable accommodations. But despite that, my managers and HR still had to give me verbal and eventually written warnings until those were in place, despite me having provided doctors notes for a few of the “occurrences” (as they called them) and me being under the impression that they would nullify the write-ups; the information provided to me that gave me that impression was incorrect, so the write-ups stood.

Then in November, I got the flu. Like bad, super bad. It kept me out of work for a week. And because bills were piling up and I was already behind on a few as it was, I used my holiday bonus money from my paycheck to pay bills -- the DAY before I got sick. I had no money to go see a doctor, let alone the energy or ability to, so I was in bed literally all week.

The day I returned to work, my manager approached me and asked how I was feeling, and asked if I had any “paperwork.” I told him my situation and that I didn’t, and he said okay, and walked off. That was about 40 minutes into my shift.

At 3pm, right before my lunchbreak was due, he came over to me and asked me to go with him. He walked me to HR, and it was there that they told me they had decided to move toward termination because of my attendance. I knew it was going to happen, it was bound to happen, and honestly after how things were going there, and the environment being part of the situation that led to me having increased anxiety, I wasn’t upset or disappointed about it. While I was in the office, another manager boxed up all my things and took it to the front desk, which is where HR walked me out of the building.

That was December 7th.

At that time, I took a few days to just recover mentally and physically -- I still wasn’t 100% over the flu -- and just kind of laid low without doing much to look for another job. This I’ll admit to, while I knew it was important that I try to find one as soon as I could, I purposefully took a few weeks off from it because we were due for a Christmas vacation and to be completely honest, I hadn’t had a Christmas -- let alone any other major holiday -- off in years, so I wasn’t about to get a new job that wouldn’t give me the time off to go away for it. So right after New Years is when I started to seriously look for and apply to jobs.

It’s now the end of March, and I still haven’t found one. But that’ll come later.

Because I hadn’t been bringing in money and my bills were already behind as it was, particularly on my car, I was starting to panic and get more and more anxious because I didn’t know how I was going to pay for it, pay for my meds, anything.

Then it got worse. On January 15th, my car was repossessed. My dad came home and drove through the parking garage and noticed my car wasn’t in its parking spot, and came in to ask where it was. A look of shock hit my face, and I said “well, I guess it was repossessed.” I immediately called the bank and they confirmed it was taken, and gave me all the information about its status.

Over the next two weeks, I tried to come up with the money to get it back along with my family, but to no avail. Health issues, emergencies, and basic daily necessities got in the way and we weren’t able to come up with the money before the first day it was eligible to be put up for auction. I considered it to be a lost cause at that point, because even though I could always go and try to buy it myself at auction, we weren’t going to have the money no matter what. So I put more effort into looking for a job, even though now my scope had to be narrowed down since I’d have to be sharing a vehicle with a family member and make sure that the timing all worked out for the three of us.

Since the beginning of February until now, I’ve continuously applied to many different jobs, and most have all resulted in nothing; I’ve had a grand total of 5 phone interviews, 4 face-to-face interviews, and 3 of those 4 companies tell me directly that I’m a great match and that they’d let me know of their decision, only to hear absolutely nothing back from them.

Needless to say, I’ve gotten pretty exhausted and tired from looking and looking with nothing to show for it, and I’ve repeatedly said to myself and my family that I am not going to go work at a place thats “always hiring,” like a grocery store or fast food restaurant, no matter how close it is, because I need more money than whatever they would be paying me. I’m nearly 30 years old, I need an actual adult full-time benefit-carrying job that is gonna help me get out from under my parents and out on my own, not something that’s gonna barely help pay the bills and leave me nothing in savings. (That has led to many an argument with my mother, and she’s not too happy with me, but I’m done making other people happy).

Fast forward to this morning. I’m laying in bed listening to music and scrolling through social media after having woken up, and hear a knock at the door followed by my dog barking. I got up and checked who it was to see it was our mail carrier with a certified letter. I signed for it, and saw it was for me, so I opened it. It was from my car loan company. They were informing me that my car was sold last week at auction.

And it sold for more than I owed.

Nearly double.

My jaw dropped. The letter laid out all of the costs and expenses and fees, and the bottom line said I was going to be well more than what I owed on it back in the form a surplus check sometime in the next few weeks.

This, coupled with my tax return, is going to get me quite a bit of money in the bank. Now of course I’m not going to be able to hold onto all of it, I still have bills I need to pay and I’m certainly going to give a chunk of it to my parents to help cover rent and other expenses of our apartment, plus what they’ve used to support me over the past few months, but what I’ll end up having left over is going to be a nice little starter for a piggy bank.

So that’s a huge relief off my mind as far as not having had any money for some time, and even better that I’ve had a phone interview yesterday that sounds pretty promising. If I get this job, and they’re paying what the advertisement for it said, I could be making great money in no time, and I may be able to get a new car much faster than I thought I might.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed and I’m still applying to jobs in case this one falls through, but just the knowledge that I’ll be getting a small windfall in the next few weeks takes a load off my mind, because I’ll at least be able to afford the things I need, and be able to help my family out for a minute instead of having this horrible feeling of guilt on my shoulders.

But I think my luck is finally turning, and some good things might be coming my way, and I’m keeping my head up in hopes of all that.

#personal #journal #text post #verbal train of thought #word vomit

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