#get mad! (i dont want your damn lemons)

[remma-demma]

Whoever did the art for this upd8 POPPED OFF I gotta do some art

[floorworm]

Euphoria two-parter really endeared me to Foreman actually. Hell yeah loose your cool I love when they do that

[razorpilled]

[ellis-seaweed]

No no I will not calm down

@nibwhipdragon

100k notes and i'll @ my crush on this post

[smol-robo]

[legacyshenanigans]

Heyya! :D

May I request a small drabble about Sebastian and Ominis doing some tasks in the forest, and at some point Sebastian manages to hurt Ominis' pride. Ominis then turns into his unbothered bitchy, sassy self when all of a sudden they get attacked and have to run away. But Ominis doesn't give a shit and Sebastian has to carry him? xD

That art is amazing 🤣🤣🤣 yeah I like the sound of this Kiwi 🤣🤣🤣

Sebastian: Ominis, can you make yourself useful!? For goodness sake.

Ominis: Well what do you want me to do?! *frowns*

Sebastian: I told you a moment ago! Come over here and hold that bag open for me so I drop these mushrooms that I'm trying to gather for US to pass our potions assignment into!

Ominis: *sighs* But this is so beneath me..

Sebastian: Your neck will be beneath my knee on the floor in a minute, if you don't fucking do something useful, instead of standing there like a damn lemon doing nothing! As always.

Ominis: As always?

Sebastian: Yes.

Ominis: Really? AS ALWAYS?!

Sebastian: YES!!

Ominis: *folds his arms and gives Sebastian the cold shoulder*

Sebastian: *sighs and looks away from him, suddenly noticing a HUGE horde of spiders scurrying towards them* SHIT! RUUUUUN!!! *starts running, but turns around and sees Ominis still stood there, arms folded* OMINIS!! COME ON! QUICKLY!

Ominis: Leave me here to die..Seeing as I'm useless *moody expression*

Sebastian: Oh for f- *runs over to him and slings him over his shoulder and starts running for his life, carrying Ominis* NOW ISN'T THE TIME FOR YOU TO BE A STUBBORN ARSE OMINIS!!!

Ominis: .....

Sebastian: *still running like a mad man away from the spiders* ....OMINIS?! SAY SOMETHING!!!

Ominis: *casually* I'm mad at you..

Sebastian: FUUUUUCK!!! CAST A SPELL IN FRONT OF YOU OR SOMETHING!!!???

Ominis: *moody bitchy voice* No. I dont think I will.

Sebastian: OMINIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSS!!!!!!

~

[illusoryfem]

When life 🧑🏻‍🔬💁🏻 gives you lemons 🍋🍋🍋 don't make lemonade 🤦🏻💥💢 make life take the lemons BACK 🗣 get MAD 💣🗯 i dont want your damn lemons what the hell am i supposed to with THESE? 😡👎🏻 Demand to see life's MANAGER 👨🏼‍💼🤜🏻 make life rue the day 🤢🤮 it thought it could give CAVE JOHNSON lemons 🍋💥🍋💥 DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? 🤯🤦🏻 I am the man who is gonna BURN 🔥🔥🔥 your house DOWN 🏡🔥🏡 With the LEMONS 🍋😡 I'm gonna get my engineers 🧑🏽‍🔬👩🏿‍🔬👨🏻‍🔧👩🏼‍💻👨🏻‍💻👩🏽‍🏭 to invent a combustible lemon 🔥🍋🔥 that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN 🍋🔥🏡🔥🍋

[your-local-bunni]

Giggles and puts stuff in the hashtags

whatever uhh sleep deprived drawings GO‼️

————————

references:

[colin-86sc2]

1/4/2025

when life gives you lemons, make life take the lemons back. i dont want your damn lemons, what am i supposed to do with these? breakfast was a bagel lunch was chicken nuggets dinner was pizza okay im very mad today my subaru wont come out of reverse. i had to leave it in a parking lot 15 miles away from my house until we get someone with a trailer or a tow truck to get it back to the house. and then i have to remove the transmission. and when my dad was driving back we almost hit an elk (very glad we didnt need two tow trucks tonight) im just really annoyed at this point because either i have to move the truck that doesnt have a radiator again or move the dodge that doesnt run at all so i can work in the garage

so im mad and i cant do anything about it rest of the day was boring. im too mad to say anything i liked about myself today

[delta-the-shapeshifting-thing]

animation 4 audio is the Cave Johnson lemon rant from portal 2 video transcript: Dark: When life gives you lemons, dont make lemonade, take life take the lemons back. Get mad! I dont want your damn lemons, what am i supposed to do with these. Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who i am? I'm the man whos going to burn your house down. With the lemons. I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down.

[flowerpatchhomos]

I really wanna make a cave Johnson reference on r/place here but I'm too scared to lol

[faces-in-unexpected-places]

when life is fuckin you over, you gotta go “so what, you got me, that all you got you little fuckin pussy BITCH?”

get LIFE to back down. no more of this “life is givin me a hard time, i need a break bs”

make life feel INCOMPETENT at givin you a hard time

it may be tough, and i am not in my most proud condition in life but i am NOT. GIVING. UP.

if life really wants to beat me, it’s gonna have to kill me bc nothing else is stopping me from doing my absolute best

[artistic-arteries]

I think humans inventing lemons and then making a phrase where they're a stand in for the difficulties of life is pretty accurate to what we're like as a species.

[dreamsgazer]

OK SO mine isn't really a request because I have ideas but I can't write so they go nowhere and stay in my head because I'm incapable!!! anyway, I was thinking about a situation where reader and tangerine met on the train and they hit off right away like there's something special between them eheh, like they like each other but turns out that they're both on a mission and have the same goal - so they fight because reader steals the WHATEVER IT IS IDK that's in both their interest and manages to get off the train right under tangerine's nose when he was about to stop them, doing so in a fight reader rips tangerine's necklace, and basically breaks it and ultimately keeps it (and fixes it) . just in case. because they like him. genuinely. in fact she's very sorry for ruining the mission of the twins but it's a matter of life or death sooo rip AND they're also indirectly but maybe directly? the cause of the nasty scar tangerine now has on his neck because he risked his life because of this failed mission. and then I mean we all know what happens canonically but we Dont Care do we.... it's all a scar and a memory in the end.

ANYWAY they finally meet again when they're forced to team up by their handlers for another mission and like tangerine and lemon are mad mad because everyone was about to die on that train!! because of reader!!!! duh. also R feels very guilty because all that has happened / could've happened. and tangerine of course is angry because he was losing his life but also because he kinda was disappointed in their behavior and maybe in himself for trusting so easily a person.. anddd idk maybe there could be some angst because I love it and that's it THIS IS SO DUMB AND LONG I'm sorry I know I'll probably look to this request in a while and cringe so bad. but I'm just curious to see how you would continue it, like what do you think would happen, what are the first things they say to each other, how does it evolve things like that 🥰

of course, if you don't feel like writing anything that's totally fine and don't worry at all❤️❤️

p. s. : im sure ive taken the prompt where reader steals / ruins tangerine's mission from other fics as well so kudos to whoever came up with the idea :)

Dear Anon, first of all, thank you so much for your patience. I’m usually slow to answer, and with things being very busy at work I’m even slower. Please, do not cringe, it was awesome to read your ideas, and I was so happy you sent this message. Thank you so much ❤️ , and I hope you enjoy how this turned out!

A Darling Mess

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" you groan, letting your head hit the wall behind you. The golden necklace glints between your fingers.

You didn't mean to steal it. You really didn't. You didn't mean to run into the Twins and most certainly didn't mean to hook up with the moustached one in one of the bathrooms on that cursed train either.

More accurately, you shouldn't have wanted to hook up with him, but as soon as the two of you had crossed paths in one of the carriages, you knew it was going to happen. And when it happened it was quick and glorious and earth-shaking, and you hoped you were going to see him again. 

Then everything went to shit, you two fought for that damned suitcase - his hands apparently were really good for many different things - and you barely ran away from that train with all your limbs.

Your smartphone buzzes incessantly. It's your handler.

"Where are you?"

It's not like him to sound so distressed.

"Not sure about the exact position, it's an alley near Nagoya station. I think I need a lift."

He tells you about a derailed bullet train and how it seems a lot of people - assassins like you, but still... people - died. One of the Twins as well, according to the info he got. The moustached one. You feel a pang of pain in your chest, which is stupid because he was just a stranger you fucked on a train.

A year has passed. Tokyo has slowly just started to become a mission you will remember with regret for a long time when you find yourself pointing your weapon at Moustache Guy again. While he's doing the same. And his brother is aiming a gun at you as well.

Shit.

You are more surprised to see him most definitely alive than to have him threatening you.

“You owe me a great deal,” he hisses, low and dangerous “You fucked up our mission, stole my fucking necklace, and almost got me killed. Almost got my brother killed as well! Why shouldn’t I murder you on the spot?”

You frown “First of all, the necklace got caught in my jacket while you were using me as a human punching ball. Second,” you add, eyes only quickly flickering on the huge, angry scar on his neck “one of you is going to kill me for sure, but I can guarantee you I will take the other down with me.”

Anger blazes in his eyes and you push further, adrenaline pumping in your veins “Third, asshole, you and your brother here screwed up since the moment you decided to leave the suitcase and the boy you were supposed to escort unguarded! What utterly morons do that?”

A pause and then you decide to further test your luck “Last but not least, I’m sorry you two almost got killed. I can apologize for my part in that, even if it’s a small one. But I won’t accept you blaming me for the rest, Moustache Boy!”

His nostrils flare, and he glares at you. It’s unfair that he looks even more ravishing with that savagery seeping from him in hot waves. Also, you probably shouldn’t get distracted by that, since the danger of being shot is a very real one.

Lemon’s laughter is short, and he nods at you, interrupting the impasse “This one got quite a temper, uh? I kind of see the fascination with the... situation.”

Tangerine snarls an insult at him, but it carries no real venom. 

In the end, after some calls from your handler and his reminders to the Twins that they have to collaborate with you on this mission and an offer to triple the pay for all of your messed up trio, guns are put away, hands tentatively shaken, and scowls mostly kept under control. 

You know they still blame you for your part in the train debacle. Yet, true to their professional reputation, they carry through the mission. It’s a long one.

Living in such proximity inevitably leads to some kind of tepid intimacy. Lemon is the first one to soften up a bit. He starts to ask you if you want some coffee. He asks you about your favourite book, once he spots you reading it to fight your insomnia. He thanks you after you retrieve a USB pen that will help with the job. And one day he gives you a sticker of some train and tells you that despite everything you are not a Diesel. You are not sure what it means, and Tangerine indeed scoffs at the words, but after that things are a little less tense, between the three of you.

Tangerine slowly stops glaring at you and once he almost compliments your ability in combat, after you knock out a goon that was going to stab him. 

The progress is little but steady, and one night, for a hilarious twist of the events, the moon finds you two looking outside the same window, in the little apartment you have been given as a base.

“I’m sorry you got shot.”

He nods at your words, slightly sniffing and making his moustache move over his very kissable lips. 

“Thanks,” he hesitates before quickly murmuring his own apology about blaming you and only you “I think my ego got a tad hurt realizing you shagged me just because of a honeypot mission.”

“I didn’t,” it's the quiet murmur that gently interrupts his gruff confession. 

He scoffs “I very much think we did it in that bathroom, love.”

“Not that,” you roll your eyes at him “I meant it wasn’t a honeypot mission. I- I did not hook up with you because of work. I didn’t even know you and Lemon were the ones having that cursed briefcase, at the time.”

Tangerine just looks at you, and you look back at him “I have your necklace. It got a bit damaged, but I had a jeweller fix it. I know it’s stupid, but I thought-”

Your voice dies down a bit and you are not really shocked to feel his calloused hand gently cupping your face, making you look at him “What did you think?”

You swallow “I thought I was going to find out where Lemon put your grave and bring the necklace there.”

You feel a tear roll down your cheek, and then another, and another. He kisses them, one by one, his lips lingering on your soft skin, and you sob “I’m so stupidly glad you didn’t die.”

He chuckles against your lips “So am I, my darling.”

You kiss him and he kisses you back, and the morning after Lemon is not surprised to catch you coming out from Tangerine’s bedroom.

Sensing your hesitation, he winks at you “Glad it happened. Be good to him, ya?”.

And of course, you nod back, with all your heart.

[unripe-lemon]

okay ive been thinking… when life gives you lemons, dont make lemonade! make life take the lemons back!!! GET MAD!!!!

I DONT WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS WHATAMISUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE??? DEMAND to see lifes MANAGER!! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?1?1?1!?1!!

IM THE MAN WHOSE GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

with

The

LEMONS!!

what if one day, for 24 hours, everyone on tumblr turned into whatever their url is

[biigsh0t]

Since he was kind enough to share with her, Shy's gonna give him some fresh squeezed lemonade!

*" WELL WHEN LIFE GIVES YA LEM- LEMONS AM I RIGHT?" The beverage is immediately slurped down and the puppet tossed the glass over his shoulder and propped his feet up on his desk. *" YKNOW... I N3VER [[Like And Subscribe]]ED THAT S4YING. YOu WANT MY ADVICE [[Shy Guy]]? DON'T MAKE [[Lemoned Aid]], MAKE LIFE TAKE-TAKE THE L3MONS B4CK! GET MAD!!" Spamjo yelled, glitching forward and slamming his hands on his desk. *" I DOnT WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS WHA T AM I SUPPOSED T-T0- TO D0 WITH THESE!? DEMAND TO SEE LIFE<S MANAGER! mAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT THOUGHT IT C0ULD GIVE SPAMT-SPAMTON G. SPAMTON L3MONS! DO YO U KNOW WHO I AM? IM THE MAN THAT^S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS!!! IM GONN4 GET MY [[Engineer_class]]S TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT [[It Burns!!]] YOU R [[Our House In The Middle Of Our House!]] DOW-N- D0WN! EHAHEHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Silence filled the room as the salesman released his death grip on the edge of his desk and eased back into his chair like nothing had happened. *" I MEAN... It was [[Delicis]], thank you."