#get a small break and ugh im just so sick and exhausted from it

[fairydustskies]

hate when i’m so tired but can’t bring myself to go to sleep bc then that means tmr is gonna come even faster and i don’t want tmr to come bc then the routine starts all over again and i hate the routine

[heartachebf]

@songofassandfire said: Okay uhhh maybe after the broship breakup in the vaccination special, Kenny gets fed up and exhausted with being sort of passed around between his friends, and ends up finding comfort in butters? Sorry if that’s too vague mgddngdng

i hope u like it, dude! not my best work, but im pretty satisfied with this :) i wrote this with them as teenagers in mind because, well, i write what i know most of the time, and i remember being in high school better than i remember being in fourth grade jhfdajk

im still taking short bunny, creek, or style drabble requests to help me get back into writing! feel free to send any requests youve got in mind here <3 now, onto the ficlet !

while butters is doing homework in his room, on his belly on his bed with his chin resting in his palm, he gets a sudden notification on his phone, a loud buzz startling him out of his homework induced reverie. he frowns at the distraction from the math problem he was struggling through, though he is partially grateful to have an excuse to look away from all the angry numbers and letters on his paper. he sits up, grabs his phone, and unlocks it eagerly.

from: ken ♥ hey can i come over for a bit? i need to get away from my friends lol

butters frowns at the message, types out a quick response of sure, i’m up in my room, before returning to laying on his stomach and staring at his homework, as if looking at it hard enough will magically solve all of the problems for him. he quickly finds himself drifting off, though, thinking about his boyfriend’s current predicament with their mutual friends. he doesn’t know much about the whole issue with them - he only knows bits and pieces from what kenny has been willing to divulge during their nightly phone calls, but from what he does know, it sounds messy. he knows that kenny’s three friends have split up for reasons unknown to him, and have thus taken to toting kenny between them like a divorced couple slinging a child between them. butters grimaces. it must be a nightmare to be treated like that.

while he’s lost in his thoughts, he’s suddenly shocked by a body bouncing on his bed next to him. butters is just about to scream when a familiar, calloused hand is shoved over his mouth. he finally looks up to see who’s in his bedroom, smiling wide under the palm on his mouth when he sees his boyfriend. kenny smiles wide back at him, his normal crooked and charming smile making butters feel warm and gooey inside.

as soon as kenny moves his hand, butters leaps up, throwing his arms around kenny’s neck. “hi, ken!” butters says eagerly, smiling even bigger when he feels kenny’s strong arms loop around his waist.

“hi, buttercup!” kenny responds, trying to sound just as eager, but it’s clear to butters just how exhausted he is.

butters pulls away a bit so he can look at kenny’s face now, taking in his tired expression with a frown. “what’s going on, cupcake?” he asks, gently brushing kenny’s messy bangs out of his face.

kenny lets out a long suffering sigh, leaning into butters’s hands. “my friends are driving me insane. i’m so sick of them treating me like their kid. as if i’m not as mature as the rest of them. y’know, i might even be more mature than them.”

butters nods understandingly, moving to sit cross legged next to kenny. “i know what you mean, honey. have you tried talking to them about how you feel about the arrangement lately?”

kenny groans, leaning forward to plop his head on butters’s shoulder. “i keep trying to talk to them, but every time i bring up the situation to any of them, they immediately just shut down and try and change the subject. i think i almost got stan to crack and listen to me once, but they’re all just.. ugh. i’m so close to just dropping all three of them until they all get their shit together.”

butters nods along as kenny speaks, gently running his fingers through his boyfriend’s sandy curls. “i think you should,” butters says softly, encouragingly. “maybe what they need is for you to leave them in order to kick their butts into gear! they’re bein’ pretty dumb with this whole thing, i think.”

“god, tell me about it!” kenny says, laughing bitterly. he reaches up to rub at his face tiredly. “they’re such dumbasses.”

butters laughs softly and nods in agreement. “definitely. i think they just need a little push to realize that they’re, like... you guys are like platonic soulmates! i think, um, taking a break from each other is good for them, but they’re going about it the wrong way.”

kenny huffs out a breath and nods before pulling away to look at butters. “how’d you get to be so smart, babe?”

butters lets out a small noise of surprise. “who, me?”

kenny laughs and nods, smiling wide before leaning forward to kiss butters softly. “yes, you! i never really thought of us as soulmates before, but that makes a ton of sense. i’m gonna tell ‘em to piss off until they get their shit together, i’m sick of being toted around like a little kid!”

butters smiles wide and toothy, gently cupping kenny’s face in his hands. “that’s a buddy! i think it’ll be really good for you to get away from them, cupcake!”

kenny smiles just as wide back, leaning in to kiss him softly again. “me too, babe. it’ll be fun to hang out with other people for once. maybe i’ll get into less chaos without those guys around.”

butters giggles and nods, reaching to grab kenny’s hands and squeezing them lightly. “yeah! i’ve been sitting with craig and his friends lately, you should join us! they’re a lotta fun, and they don’t start as much drama.”

“god knows i could use some of the peace that they bring,” kenny says, interlocking his fingers with butters’s, squeezing his hands mindlessly.

“feel a little better now?” butters asks after a moment, tilting his head. when kenny nods, he continues, “great! now, how about you help me with my math homework? algebra always makes my head spin...”

[the-writer-ofthe-fandoms]

True (Lucifer SPN)

Pairing: Lucifer (Supernatural) x Reader Words: 1.5k+ Warning(s): Shapeshifter, a lil bit of angst, some heated stuff ehehe A/N: Im rewatching Supernatural and it rekindled my love for Lucifer. What is it with me and Lucifer ahaha. I hope you guys enjoy~

-----

You grunted and winced, the fabric bag that was over your head ripped off your head. There standing in front of you was a damn Shapeshifter with your damn face. They smirked at you as you struggled against the ropes binding you. You were on a case alone that was supposed to be a simple salt and burn, and it was. But apparently the shifter in town caught wind that a hunter was in town. The guy who spoke to you before you left town at the gas station must've been the shapeshifter; before you became his new face. He was the last person you saw before blacking out. You looked around and pieced together you were in some sort of basement.

"Wakey-wakey, (Y/N)." He chuckled. "My, my... To get ahold of someone who is so close to the Winchesters. I must've won the lottery!"

"If you know anything about them you would know you can't fool them." You snarled back.

"I am currently learning everything about you." He tapped your forehead, "I already know juicy details about Sam and Dean and oh! The bunker too. I'll pay them a little visit and kill them in their sleep~." The shifter walked away from you, slipping your hunting bag over their shoulder. "I left you some food and water, can't have you dying on me! Toodles!" He chucked your knife close by you before leaving the basement.

You smirked to yourself, seems like your imposter hasn't learned everything about you yet. Like how you were in a relationship with the Lucifer, your soulmate. You had to stop yourself from praying to him, just in case the shifter would be able to access that. If the boys didn't figure it out soon enough, Lucifer would definitely tell the difference. You felt almost sick that a shifter took on your face, you just hope they would stopped in time.

You maneuvered the knife your doppelganger tossed you to your tied up hands, and slowly you began cutting away at the ropes. When the ropes were cut off you immediately started looking for a way out. The only window to the outside was way too small for anyone to enter or exit.

"Damn." You growled. You walked to the door, just in case there was a slim chance it was left unlocked; it wasn't. You sighed and attempted to kick it down, didn't work. "There has to be something the dumbass left around."

You sighed and began your search through out the basement, hoping this would all be over soon.

-----

Shapeshifter you pulled into the garage around 10pm and smirked. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to get ahold of you; one of the closest people to the all too well known Winchester brothers. He felt all too confident that he could trick the two easy-peasy. He locked the car and strode into the bunker, a cocky smirk was on his, technically yours, face.

'All I have to do is wait until they fall asleep.' He found his way to the library of the bunker and there were Dean and Sam, not suspecting a thing. The two looked up from their laptops and grinned.

"How was the hunt, (Y/N)?" Dean asked.

"Pretty easy. The ghost didn't stand a chance against me." Shifter-You grinned and sat down at the table with them.

"Good you got back in time, we found a big hunt about 3 hours from now and we want to go first thing tomorrow. We also want to bring your boyfriend too, we may need his help with some things." Sam passed over the newspaper article of whatever they want to hunt. The Shifter mentally cursed at the fact you had a boyfriend, he hadn't had enough time to learn more about you.

"Sounds good." He gulped as he scanned over the paper. He carefully eyed the two brothers as they continued talking about a game plan for the hunt and he hoped more of your memories would become accessible to him. "Well I am going to my room and catch up on some sleep, see you both later!"

"Goodnight, (Y/N)." They both waved and he got up from his seat.

"There is my one and only favorite human!" A voice the shifter didn't recognize shouted behind him. He turned around, ready to act like you, but practically froze on the spot.

'This bitch is dating Lucifer?' He internally screamed and put on his best (Y/N)-esque smile.

"Hey there, babe~" He continuously began silently freaking out when the Devil leaned in and kissed the shifter-yous forehead. Did he successfully trick the infamous fallen angel?

"You look scrumptious." Lucifer smirked.

"Ugh get a room you two." Dean grunted, causing the shifter to turn and face him.

"Don't worry Dean, there won't be anymore PDA."  Lucifer wrapped his arms around the shifter, his arms tightening. "Because this isn't (Y/N)."

"What the hell?" Both Dean and Sam grabbed their guns, keeping them at the ready.

"Lucifer w-what are you talking about?" The shifter paused for a second before struggling with all his might to break free from the practically bone crushing hug from Lucifer but he couldn't.

"Demon?!" Sam shouted.

"Nope, a shapeshifter." Luci smirked, his eyes shifting to red. "Oh you are so going to regret shifting into my (Y/N)."

"If you harm me I won't tell you where they are!" The shifter tried to bargain.

"Are you stupid or dumb? I am archangel Lucifer, I will find (Y/N)."

"Why do you want to find that bitch anyways? They think of you as a monster, Lucifer." The shifter snarled. "I have access to all their memories and thoughts. You disgust them, repulse them even. They think you are nothing. The mere thought of you touching them makes then want to burn their skin on off-"

"Shoot them, they bore me." Lucifer sighed and shoved shifter you forward. Before the shapeshifter tried running, both Dean and Sam landed two fatal shots with silver bullets. Your body fell to the ground with a thud... And the shifter was dead. The Winchesters eyed Lucifer carefully but his face was unreadable.

"Uh are you okay, Lucifer? They were saying some pretty harsh stuff as (Y/N)."

"That was rookie stuff." He shrugged his shoudlers. "Take care of this while I go find (Y/N)."

-----

You sighed and slumped against the pillar you were once tied to. It had been hours since the 'evil you' left and you were feeling exhausted. Your search for a way out was futile, but you had high hopes for a rescue. You figured that the Shapeshifter should be at the bunker by now, so you were pondering your choices.

"Ah fuck it." You closed your eyes and began concentrating, preparing to pray to Lucifer.

'Lucifer-'

The sound of fluttering wings made you snap open your eyes, Lucifer was standing right in front of you. He grinned and held out a hand, which you gladly took, and he immediately pulled you into an embrace.

"I knew you would know." You buried your face into his chest, hugging him tight.

"I will always know who the real you is. Now let's get you home." You felt the usually spinning when Lucifer teleported and next thing you know, you were in the bunker library.

"Where's the brothers?"

"They are taking care of the Shapeshifter. Let's go to our room." He took hold of your hand and you both walk down the hallway to your room. You watched Lucifers carefully, you can tell there was something wrong and you knew it had to do something with the shifter.

You arrived to your shared room with Lucifer. Once the door was closed you pulled him into a deep, emotional kiss; your body pressed against his. You break away and stared deeply into his eyes, placing a hand on his cheek.

"I am sorry if shifter-me said anything to you, Luci." You sigh,"What happened?"

"Why are you apologizing? It wasn't you." He lead you to the bed to sit down. "That shifter said you hated me basically, that I am disgusting. And watching "you" die was something else."

"Aw Lucifer, I love you with all my being and I hope you know that I could never see you as a monster." You wrap your arms around his shoulders and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Now, I was stuck in a dusty, dirty basement all day. I think a shower with my favorite Devil~"

"Oh I like the way you think." He smirked. "Let's get those restricting clothes off.~"

"No need to tell me twice." You maneuvered and now you were straddling Lucifer, you ran your hands through his sandy blond hair. You felt his hands go to your hips, and slowly they made their way to your back. His hands slid under your shirt, the light and gentle touches made you shiver.

"My favorite human, my soulmate, my love." Lucifer murmured in your ear before he kissed your neck. He held you tight while he left little hickies along your collarbone.

You felt pure happiness in that moment with your soulmate Lucifer.

[jessie-sam-and-ash]

I've had a pretty bad fever and slept for quite some time. Now i just woke up and checked my phone.

2DAYS?!!? I slept 2whole days???? What the hell?!?

Why didn't mom wake me up? This isn't like her at all. Did sje give me my meds in my sleep? Ugh who cares now. I'm feeling better. 48hours of total black out was just what i needed. But god am i hungry now....

Wtf why won't the door open? C'mon it can't be seriously locked!!

*shuffling and grunting in the hallway*

Hooooooooold up. What's that??

*i peep through the keyhole* *terrified gasp as i stumble backwards* *outside, in the hallway, there's this ugly decomposing WALKING corpse* its a prank its a prank its gotta be a prank

*but the stench tells otherwise*

I need to get to the kitchen else imma starve here.....the door's clearly locked. The window! Imma sneak out the window!

*carefully i stand on the outer window still. The street looks awful, cars abandoned in the middle of the road, some even turned upside down. And lots of those....things walking around* they can't be zombies could they? Zombies aren't real....

*i climb down the water spout as quietly as possible* *luckily the kitchen window is open and no one seems to be inside*

Alright. First lemme close the door then eat something. Need to make a list of what i have and how long it'll last..... where's mom and dad? Hope they're safe. *I stop a sniff*

*after closing the door i find some milk and cereal. It seems electricity hasn't gone out yet since the fridge works* *as im about to take a seat, my foot hits something, sending it across the room* *its a phone. Mom's phone* *i turn it on. Messenger is open. She didn't get to send a last text....to me: 'pls be safe and don't open the door. You got t survive for us. We hold thm off as good as we cdkxfkflldk '*

They......they....no way. No no no no no!!! Could they be.....the zombie i saw in the hallway. I need to get a better look. But then what? What if it's them? Can i really...? I have to. It's not a matter of 'can' or 'cant'. They wanted me to live. This is what i will do. But first, provisions.

*i count some cans of food, an unopened pack of cereal, some veggies and what's left of mom's chicken soup* *it should keep me going for a few days until i make a plan to go out* *got several water bottles and a pack of beer*

*i take the small axe mom uses for chopping bones for soup* *i take a deep breath and slowly open the door*

*i look left and right: front door is wide open, will have to close it. The hallway seems empty for now, need to check the living room* *i quickly close the door and head towards the only other room*

Shit. SHIT!!! NOT dad! No no no nooo.....

*i struggle to not scream at the sight: dad, one arm missing, is sluggishly walking through the room, grunting to himself. Face mauled so bad i can barely recognize it, slowly decomposing. The smell is unbearable*

I can't do it. I can't do it. Dammit! I can't! No you bitch, you must!! That's not your dad anymore. The dead are supposed to stay dead. You gotta do it. You got this. Just get the head, smash it as hard as you can.

*i slowly make my way across the room, careful to not make any noise, need the moment of surprise* *im close enough. I raise the axe and...............strike* *the sickening sound of bones breaking fills my ears, the wet slosh of the axe leaving the skull makes me sick to the stomach* *the zombie falls to the ground* *i nudge it with my foot. It doesn't move. I killed it*

*shaking i tiptoe my way upstairs* *time to deal with the other one*

*it saw me! It runs towards me, still slower then a normal human* *i shriek and in the last second swing the axe* *the head tumbles to the ground, soon followed by the body* *im shaking terribly at this point* *fall to my knees and start crying*

Im sorry im sorry im sorry!!!! Mom dad im sorry!! I had to, i have to live for you. Forgive me! Im sorry! Im sorry! Please oh please let this be all nothing but one of my sick dreams!!

*sobbing and exhausted i fall asleep on the now blood soaked carpet*

.

.

.

.

It's been a week. Im outta food officially. Can still eat what's in the fridge but it'll go bad soon. I shouldn't go too far into the city before i have better weapons and know more about these shits. Hmmmmmm🤔 neighbor's house it is.

*i put my black hoodie on and some sneakers* *armed with the axe and a backpack im ready to head out* *the street seems empty. Yesterday a car's alarm started blaring somewhere down the road, attracting the zombies. I wrote about this in my little notebook: sensitive to sound*

*i bolt out the door and only stop in front of Jim's house* hope he's not dead in there too.

*i find the door unlocked and slip inside* *silence. No sign of zombies roaming* *i head to the kitchen and start searching*

*nothing useful* guess he managed to leave and took everything he could.

*i look around the house some more. I manage to find a bigger axe*

*getting out. Halfway back i stop in my tracks. A zombie's walking nearby. According to mom's behavior they also are attracted by movement* *BUT NO ONE COULD'VE GUESSED THEY ARE ATTRACTED BY SMELL TOO HOLLY SHIT* *he smelled me and charged* *i ran all the way home and slammed the door shut*

*panting* fuck fuck fuckkk. Gosh that was close.

*i go to the living room where i layed mom amd dad's corpses* *the stench is terrible. Im keeping the windows half open all the time* guess you two don't have any ideas on how to keep these fuckers away huh? They see me, they charge. They smell me, they charge. What the hell should i do? God you guys stink, i should bury you some time.

Or maybe..........? Hmmm might work. Let's test it.

*i take mom's head by the remaining hair and go to the front door where i can hear the zombie scratching at it* *i open it ajar and put the putrefying head in front of the gap* *i hear the zombie sniffing then grunting, then it goes away* interesting...

*i close the door again and throw the head on the couch* *i run upstairs to my room and grab the notebook: 'zombies are attracted by sound, movement and smell. They recognize eachother by the smell of decay. Using enough of their blood or flesh etc can keep them away. Need to see if you need to act like them too' *

.

.

.

Today i ate the last of that salad. Need to search for more food. Most neighbors either left and took everything good or didn't have anything canned and is now spoiled. I should try to make my way towards one of the stores. I should prepare.

*i go downstairs. Take dads large coat off the clothes rack*

Hey mom, dad. Im sorry but need a favor from you two.......

*i take the big axe next to the couch and start butchering one of the corpses* *blood and chunks of flesh fly all over the place* *when im done, im left with a bloody paste of guts and rotten meat* *using a glove i then smear the coat with the smelly paste* *i feel like gagging* this should do..

*i put the coat on, take the axe and my trusty backpack*

*with shaky hands i open the front door and step out into the blazing sun*

It's time to head out.

[buzzfeedwheeze]

The New Teacher - Shyan fanfic

Ugh

Sorry it took me so long to post the new chapter. I didn't know what to do with the fic (I blame the new Star Wars movie and the WiFi at my beach house), but I think I found my way again!

Hope you enjoy.

You can find it at AO3

Two months passed really fast and Shane got into a new routine. One that he actually enjoyed. Apart from having to give his son up two weeks a month, he was actually quite content. He would wake up earlier than what he used to, just so that he could have breakfast with his kid, generally milk and cereal because it was the fastest option and they were both lazy suckers. Then Shane would drop Andrew at school, go to work, banter with Ryan Bergara on Twitter and sometimes prepare a nice meal for Andrew and his boyfriend Steven. Yeah, somehow the new teacher became a part of his life, whether it was a conscious or unconscious decision of his. Usually at the lunch break he would find himself engaging of multiple discussions with Bergara about aliens, ghosts, movies and one time they even had a passionate debate about popcorn.

After one week of smiling like a teen after he received a new notification of @ryansbergara, he was forced to admit that there was more than simply bantering going on. Their fights didn’t feel real, or maybe they never were. When he took Andrew to school or went to pick him up he would wait to see Bergara arrive and then would tease him on twitter about how he looked ridiculous with his weird love for yellow clothes, especially one vest that he wore a lot. Ryan would always reply with a “stalker :)” and Shane would grin from ear to ear.

Now, he found it kind of hard to look at the man, that being the reason why he adopted the method of avoiding at all costs to get out the car near school grounds. Andrew reacted to this novelty with curiosity at first but now all he did was smirk when he got to the car, always making sure to mention the damn teacher. But although he wanted to avoid Bergara he couldn’t help but show up at the exact time he knew the teacher was about to arrive at school. He didn’t want to confront his feelings, but hey, he could still appreciate a nice body, with a great face, fantastic humor, amazing knowledge, sweet eyes... Ryan Bergara was the closest thing, for Shane, to proof of the existence of supernatural beings. Of course, he had flaws, Shane knew there was no such thing as perfection, but that man was pretty damn close to it.

But today was saturday.

Meaning no Bergara and no need to confront what was going on between them. The only thing planned for the day was a draft of a new cartoon he had to present for his superior on Monday and a dinner at the new restaurant that opened near his apartment. He was going to take Andrew and Steven and they were going to order enough food to make themselves ashamed on the next day.

A great plan. He had a cocky smile in place as he skimmed through the newspaper.

“Why are you smiling like that?” he looked up to find a very sleepy Andrew exiting his room. “It’s kinda creepy since you’re reading the Sports” the boy then rubbed his eyes.

Shane rolled his eyes. “Keep that attitude young boy and you won’t be having any pancakes today”

Andrew frowned. “You wouldn’t dare…” then his dad wiggled one eyebrow. “YOU WOULD! YOU SICK BASTARD!” Such a drama queen… I taught him so well. Shane smiled fondly as his son threw his hands in the air as he grunted on his way to the kitchen.

Shane got up quickly and took over his position on the stove. Andrew had already set up the table and was now resting his face on his hands as he watched his dad. Shane prepared the dough and after a few minutes, full of flips and a lot of cursing, the pancakes were ready.  Before placing them on the table he turned to Andrew.“Want me to cut them on Disney characters shapes?”

“What is the point of eating pancakes if they are not Disney themed pancakes?” he raised an eyebrow.

Shane had to blink a few times because he wasn’t seeing big grown up Andrew, there, right in front of him, was little Andrew with chubby cheeks and small hands. He quickly turned and focused on the task of cutting the pancakes into various shapes to make Andrew’s new favorite character from ‘Disney’. The sound of nervous fingers tapping on a screen and the rhythmically sound of the knife hitting the board helped Shane concentrate and suppress the treacherous tears. It was hard to get around the idea of Andrew no longer being his little boy. I’m becoming one of those dads.

Soon he placed an almost perfect, considering that it was made with pancake, BB-8 right in front of his son. Andrew gasped and stared at the plate he like used to do when he was a kid. “I was going to do a Kylo Ren. But since you are probably going to post it on Instagram, and I know you are not ready to share your obsession with Kylo, I thought it was better to play it safe. A good ol’ bot for ya.”

Andrew reached over the table and hugged his dad. “You are the best”. He snapped a photo and munched on his BB unit quite happily. Shane just ate his regular stacked pancakes but his heart was so warn that he felt like they were made of pure gold.

They ate in silence and after breakfast Andrew washed the dishes and left to meet Steven and head out to Matt’s place. Some other friends were going to be there as well, their friend Adam, Ashley and a girl called Jen. Apparently they were going to have a Harry Potter marathon and survive out of popcorn the whole day. They were living the dream. Shane tried to tag along and Andrew said that even though he was cool there was no chance he was going since he had a project to begin. Boo hoo adult life sucks.

Shane got all his stuff and found a comfortable spot on their dining table. Put on his ‘Thinking Cap ON” playlist and started to take notes of some ideas he had on the past few days. But as he jotted them down he felt like they weren’t exactly very creative or even original. No one would ever bother to invest on a cartoon like that. So he decided to start by designing the main character. It wasn’t how he normally worked but he had a deadline and he needed to present something to his boss. Anything. He opened his memos and found some notes from the briefing he had had last week about the new cartoon. The notes were kind of confusing but at least he managed to get some of the things his boss wanted.

“Supernatural. Two main characters. Diversity. Funny. Not too scary. A bit of sarcasm.” Shane wanted to throw his phone on the street so a car could smash it. “I’m so fucked right now.”

The hours flew by like minutes and he only had the sketches of the main characters done. He opted for two girls. One was blond with a big nose and thick glasses. He decided that she was going to be a bucket full of sarcasm and bad jokes. The other one was smaller, a mix of Asia and Latin America on her features. He didn’t know what to do with her. He stared at the page in front of him and tried to see what was behind those big beady eyes he drew. Maybe she was going to be more like a sidekick, always scared and hiding. Shane was about to to write that, but something stopped him. That wasn’t right. There was more to those characters and without a plot he couldn’t fully comprehend them. Especially the tiny girl. Shane shut the sketch book and decided to prepare his lunch.

After having lunch, Shane did no progress at all. All he had was two sketched and barely filled profile about the characters. He had longed abandoned the notion of having a plot or even having ideas for one. So until Andrew and Steven called for him to go pick them up, all he did was complain, play Disney Crossy Road and watch old episodes of Brooklyn Nine Nine on TV. Their call would be a true blessing. He would finally be free of his responsibility and be able to go out and enjoy his weekend. Or at least his saturday night since he needed the damn project ready.

Then as if by magic his phone screen lit up. Shane turned his attention from the TV to the now vibrating phone. It wasn’t a phone call but a series of text messages from Andrew asking his dad if it was ok to pick them up an hour earlier and that he didn’t want to disturb him now that he was focused on a new project. Shane replied quickly with ‘im already on the car’ and a ‘FREEDOM’ followed by a series of gifs to illustrate his state of mind. He got up, collected the car keys and soon he was driving on his way to Matt’s house.

The traffic wasn’t that bad so he managed to arrive in less than 15 minutes at the fancy neighborhood that Andrew’s friend lived. The house was at the end of Capt. Hugo Vega Street, it was a huge modern mansion that even had some bushes cut in the shape of animals. There was a fucking crab and a flamingo, for fucks sake. Shane pulled over in front of the house and was about to honk when he saw that Andrew was waiting outside. He waved at him and watched as he began to tow Steven by his hand. Andrew sat by his side while Steven took the backseat. Shane watched through the mirror Steven laying down on the seat and chuckled. “So how wa...”

“Dad please drive!” Andrew interrupted him. “If we stay here longer I might have to go inside and kill Matt with my bare hands. Do you want me to go to jail?!” he looked exhausted.

“Let me guess.”

“You wouldn’t be able…”

“Matt’s idea of eating solemnly popcorn was a disaster and you had to deal with a very hungry Steven Lim complaining.” Andrew gasped and stared at him with wide eyes. “I had to travel with you two to a festival when you were little and I know some things don’t change.” with that he drove to the restaurant as fast as he was allowed to.

Steven practically ran inside the place when he smelled the aroma of hot meals being served. They checked their reservation and, thank god, got a great table. Soon a waiter with a fake smile kept on for pure obligation asked for their orders. Eyeing the kids barely keeping it together, staring at the basket of bread as if it was some sort of rare item, Shane picked up the menu and ordered an absurd amount of food. Lots of chicken wings dipped on spicy sauce, french fries with olive oil and herbs, one small pepperoni pizza, medium portion of quesadilla and a basket with a mix of different nacho flavors. It will do. When he finished listing almost all of the items on the menu one very scared, or maybe impressed, waiter left to go deliver his order to the kitchen.

“Food will get here soon, kids, don’t worry.” he looked at them reassuringly.

Steven looked up and his tired expression was replaced by a huge smile, which left Shane feeling pretty smug. He was capable of making those kids feel the joy of life again. Then he noticed Steven poking Andrew on the forehead, which only made the other one glare at him. But it was all he need, pointing at something behind them he whispered something for Andrew. Andrew perked up on his seat and managed a small smile when he saw whatever Steven asked him to look. Shane couldn’t hear what they were saying so he turned to look for whatever got them all so happy. You gotta be fucking kidding me.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me.” Ryan Bergara was there at the hall gesticulating like a maniac while talking with the maître. Shane of course still felt the urge to fight Bergara, but watching the other man arguing with someone, that wasn’t him, made some weird protection instinct kick in. It was almost like it was his duty to protect Ryan Bergara from all evil in the world. I’m so pathetic.

Deciding to ignore the situation was the best option for him, so he turned to look at the boys and noticed that Andrew wasn’t at his place anymore. Steven just shrugged and nodded his head in the direction of the teacher. I raised a snake. Shane thought bitterly as he watched Andrew talking with his teacher at the hall. Bergara was blushing and Andrew looked at him with one of his, perfected through the years, puppy eyes look and Shane rolled his eyes. Surely he was inviting Bergara to sit with them. There was one spare chair and Shane considered throwing it across the room for a second or maybe throwing himself across the room. Lost on his thoughts and still watching the chair squinting his eyes, Shane didn’t notice when Andrew got back to the table with the teacher.

“Hi, Shane… I mean Mr. Madej.” Bergara was blushing and stuttering and all of his previous thoughts of destroying the chair vanished. Boy, he was a handsome man.

“Hi. You can call me Shane Madej.” Stupid mouth. “I mean, Shane. Call me Shane” Shane got up awkwardly, bumping on the table and almost knocking down everything. He shaked Bergara’s extended hand vigorously. Then Shane helped Ryan sit, which obviously made things worse. Internally he was a mess, an eternal replay on his mind of Gordon Ramsay calling him an idiot sandwich.

Steven and Andrew were sat on VIP places to watch the show unroll in front of them. They kept snickering and whispering thing to each other, which left Shane no option but to make small talk with Ryan Fucking Bergara as they waited for the food. When the meal arrived he kicked Andrew on his shins and got the boys to talk with the teacher, who seemed to relax and appreciate better his meal.

After they ordered the dessert and were waiting for it to arrive, Shane noticed Andrew leaning in on Steven’s direction to whisper something then he got up abruptly and announced he was going to the bathroom. But before he left he winked to his dad, and Shane knew this was no teenage hook-up-on-the-bathroom plan. No. It was a masterplan to leave him alone with Begara. And his suspicions were soon confirmed when Steven giving him an apologetic smile left to go to the bathroom too.

When they left Ryan began to laugh which caused Shane to look at him with an arched eyebrow. “What?” he managed between giggles. “It’s just that no matter how many years have passed teenagers will always try the bathroom excuse to go make out.”

“Yeah. The ol’ bathroom excuse to make out” he said through gritted teeth.

“They even try that at school!” Ryan wheezed. “I just look at them with one raised eyebrow and say ‘really? I’ll tell you kid, I invented this excuse. Go back to your work’.”

Shane’s annoyance left just as soon as it arrived. He looked at Ryan with glinting eyes and in a malicious tone asked. “You’re telling me, you skipped class to make out with girls in the bathroom, Bergara? The shame”

Ryan gulped and stared at Shane mortified. And stuttering a bit he managed to spit out the words. “I-I supp-suppose at the time they were girls.” he sipped his cranberry lemonade and eyeing Shane by the corner of his eye said in a much clearer voice. “You can call me Ryan, you know.”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed. It’s rude.” Shane’s heart was beating so fast that he felt like it was going to escape his chest. “Considering that people always assume I’m heterosexual or just deny my bisexuality, I should’ve known better.” he didn’t want to look at the man sat by his side. He knew the look of disgust people generally had on their faces when he admitted his sexuality.

“Bisexual? That’s nice.” Ryan’s voice was so sweet that Shane had to look up. He was looking at him with those gleaming eyes and soft mouth curved into a beautiful smile. Shane smiled back.

“I guess it is.”

Ryan sipped his drink again. Coughed a few times then turned to Shane. “So, Andrew was telling me some other day after class, that you work at Disney?” then after stealing one of his fries added. “Your son really loves you, he’s always talking about you.”

“Yeah, I do. I work at the animations studio.” he was torn between hugging Andrew and cutting his allowance. He’s basically selling me to his teacher as if I’m a cow.

“That’s so cool! I love Disney!” he now was turning his whole body on Shane’s direction. “You see, I have this friend, Helen, and we go every year to Disney together. It was where our friendship sort of began.”

“That’s really sweet. I, too, love Disney. Otherwise I wouldn’t work for them.” he also tuned his body. Their legs were touching.

Ryan looked at their legs, coughed a bit and blushing continued to make small talk. “Yeah, you don’t strike me as the type of man who would work at a place you hated.” his eyes followed Shane’s movements as he sipped on his green tea. Ryan shook his head. “Hmm… Working on any new projects? The new Moana maybe?”

Shane didn’t listen the question since he was too focused on studying those full lips moving. Quickly, he reached for his tea. When he noticed Ryan waiting for something, he apologized and asked him to repeat the question. Questions about his new projects always got him excited. He would feel like a secret agent when he asked for secrecy and judging by Ryan’s expression, he was probably into it. Shane and Ryan leaned on the direction of each other, and Ryan’s legs were now between Shane’s. They were whispering but sometimes, one of them would laugh too loud (Ryan) and other would smile like a stupid RomCom guy (Shane).

The kids got back to the table at some point, but the two of them barely acknowledged them. Their desserts were left untouched in front of their places. Shane had to admit that maybe Ryan had some great ideas. Well, and some not so great. “What if they are like the ghostbusters?! But they hunt sea creatures instead of ghosts.”

“Are you insane?” The boys would chuckle and Shane would just keep shooting questions at Ryan.

“You said you wanted two girls, right? What about two girls that investigate allegedly haunted locations around the world. The skeptic one could be a ghost that came back to have some fun at the cost of the other girl. Always pulling pranks and ordering other spirits to scare the believer who is obsessed with finding proof of ghosts existence.”

“Ryan Bergara, you are basically telling me to make a genderbent version of yourself.” Shane chuckled.

“Shut up, Shane. There’s more” he rolled his eyes. “The skeptic girl liked to scare the other girl at the beginning. But then they started to go to more dangerous places and she began to protect her and grew fond of the tiny scared, yet brave sometimes, human. I’m not saying there needs to be a romantic relationship, since they are teens, but they can be really good friends.”

“I like this. A lot. Even the romantic part.” then smirking a bit he added. “Now it definitely doesn’t seem like you are trying to be the smaller girl.”

“Well, for me it does sound like genderbent fanfiction of you two” Steven mumbled to Andrew

“What did you say, Steven?” Shane nervously asked as he eyed Ryan. I guess he didn’t hear it. But he’s blushing a bit.

“Nothing.” Andrew replied while glaring daggers at his sleepy boyfriend. “He just ate too much cake.”

“I guess we should be going.” Shane said as he started to look for the waiter to ask for their check.

“Yeah, it’s probably better. I need to take the bus home. We need to see how much I…” Ryan began but was cut off by Shane.

“No need. This dinner is on me. Would like a ride home?” Bergara shook his head. “Then I guess you should be going.” Shane added a bit off.

Ryan got up and said his goodbyes. Shane watched him walking out of the restaurant and something ached on his chest. He left his credit card for Andrew. “Meet me outside kiddo”. Just after he got out of the restaurant there was no sign of the man nearby, then Shane saw a small bus stop in the distance and a small figure walking in the direction of it. Shane ran.

The bus stop was close when he felt a hand touching his shoulder which startled him “Fuck, sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” a familiar voice made him relax and Ryan turned to stare at its owner.

“Hi. Again.”

“Yeah, I could’ve asked you on twitter, but I guess my brain thought it was a better idea to ran after you in the dark.” Shane was rambling. “And you have no clue of what I’m talking about and…” a small hand slapped his arm and Shane looked at Ryan half surprised and half in pain. “What…”

“Just spit it out, Shane”

He looked at Ryan and gaining back his non-justified confidence ‘spat it out’. “I was wondering if you you would like to meet me tomorrow at a coffee shop. It’s a small place, very intimate. We talk about my new cartoon and maybe other stuff.” I can’t believe I’m asking my son’s teacher on a date.

“Like a date?” Ryan’s voice was hopeful.

“No” Yes. “I mean, maybe.”

Ryan smirked and added before making a signal for the bus approaching the stop. “Then DM me the details for our date of Schrodinger, Madej”

[wreathedinscales]

(This hardcore got away from me)

Summary: For all that they love each other, it takes a kidnapping for Ray to move in with Leo.

Leo collapses onto his bed, making Ray literally bounce awake.

"Roy rescheduled my morning meetings," he mutters into the pillow.

Ray flops onto his stomach too, throwing his arm around him. "That's because he's a good secretary."

Leo heaves a full-body grunt.

"Come on, Leo. You've been working nonstop arguing taxes with the state. You need a break that lasts longer than scarfing a sandwich."

Leo sighs, turning his head. Ray traces the dark circles under his eyes.

"I'll text Marjorie, tell her I'll be there at lunchtime."

"Think you'll get away with that?"

Ray scoffs. "Are you kidding? She adores you. Plus, you're the mayor. I told you that's a good excuse."

"Ah, so you just want me for an excuse."

"Well I'm definitely not here for the puns."

They kiss, slow and sweet, pressing their forehead together afterwards.

Leo sighs again. "I suppose I can take one morning."

Ray smiles, stroking his cheek. "Go back to sleep."

Leo gives him another savoring kiss before he rolls over. Ray gropes for his phone, lost somewhere under the bed 'cause it's a dick. He texts Marjorie, citing last month when he'd taken on Don and Dawn for a whole day for her. She replies that he's lucky she likes him. She doesn't specify which him.

When Leo tugs at him, he follows.

At 10 am, Ray feels like a new man. Holy shit.

With a spring in his step, he bounds to the kitchen and gets some scrambled eggs going. His computer science degree didn't leave much room for cooking, but he can at least make breakfast without the smoke detector tattling on him.

He's about to plate them when Leo wraps around him, sleep soft, swaying them a little.

Ray laughs. "Ketchup?"

"Always," Leo says, lips pressed against Ray's throat.

Leo doesn't say much as they eat. The nap clearly only made him realize how exhausted he is, interrupting his bites with long yawns and eye rubs. Ray occasionally caresses his face with the back of his hand, eliciting a tiny smile.

"Okay," Ray says when they're done, "back to bed."

Leo offers minimal protest, letting himself get dragged. Ray gently pushes him down.

"Need anything?" Ray asks.

Leo flicks his eyes over him. He licks his lips.

Smirking, Ray crawls on top of him. Leo locks his hands behind his head and kisses him soundly.

As Ray drops to his elbows, Leo kisses up to his ear and whispers, "Fuck me?"

Ray nuzzles the crook of his shoulder. "One condition." He looks up at him. "You lie back and let me take care of you."

Leo's pupils blow wide. He quickly nods.

Ray pecks his lips and sits back on his heels, fumbling for the nightstand drawer.

"Get two," Leo murmurs, snuggling into the pillow, "Don't feel like changin' the sheets yet."

Ray chuckles. "Sure."

He fucks him slow, what Leo likes best, one of Leo's legs on his shoulder and the other around his waist. Whenever Leo tries to lift his hips, Ray holds him down with a murmured reminder to relax.

He kisses his knee and adds, "You tell me what to do."

Leo shudders. "Faster."

Thank God, 'cause Ray doesn't know how long he'd've been able to keep the slow pace.

Leo clutches the sheets, moans harmonizing with Ray's balls slapping against his skin.

"Kiss me," he hisses.

Ray bends him in half to reach his lips. Leo cries out, muffled by Ray's tongue. He claws Ray's back, leaving red marks.

"Touch me," he growls.

Ray barks a laugh. "Thought I was."

Leo scrambles for his hand, wrapping his fingers around his cock as best he can between them. Ray pushes up a little for a better grip. Leo's moans pitch higher.

"I'm gonna―"

"Mhm," Ray whispers, licking up Leo's throat, "Let go, Leo." He presses his lips to his ear. "I love you."

"Ray," Leo whines.

Ray lets him buck into him as he comes, stroking him through it, murmuring sweet nothings against his cheek.

Then, through dazed eyes, Leo breathes, "Fuck, Ray, come inside me."

A few more thrusts, and Ray's keening Leo's name.

"I love you," Leo says, voice absolutely shattered, "I love you, I love you."

He smells like sweat and sex and Leo.

The room's filled with their breathing and kisses.

Slightly hoarse and slurred, Leo drawls, "I should take more mornings off."

Marjorie gives Ray a Look when he arrives humming a light tune. Ray beams at her.

"You're especially sunny this morning," she remarks, in the midst of coloring with Katie. Or, for Katie, scribbling yellow all over everything with Marjorie trying to stop her from covering the table too.

"Yeah, well," Ray says, following Nelly Dean and Sammy's cajoling, "I got to stay in bed longer."

Marjorie rolls her eyes.

At five, Mr. Allen picks up Don and Dawn, swinging them out of their sprints as fast as the Flash herself. He thanks Marjorie and Ray kindly as ever on his way out.

Ray stretches before joining Marjorie in clean up.

"You got a party tonight?" Marjorie asks.

Ray groans. "Always."

"Mayor gonna be there?"

"No, actually. Though it's at Palmer Inc's Central hotel again, so I'll be seeing Chef Rory."

Marjorie smirks. "Say hello for me."

"He's married," Ray reminds her again, "To two men."

"What? I'm just saying hello through a friend. What were their names again?"

"Ray and Nathaniel. Ray as in not-me-Ray. Apparently he insists on Rory calling him Ray instead of Raymond."

"And you've never met either of them?"

"No. Rory and I don't see much of each other. But I've heard enough of his Ray and Nathaniel that I feel like I've met them. Ray's always busy, Nathaniel writes articles. They both like to ramble, and they call each other 'bro' every other second. Also they try to give him vegetables, and he hates vegetables, even though he cooks with them."

Marjorie hums.

Ray pauses by the cubbies. "What?"

"Nothing, just―sounds like Raymond Palmer and his husband Nathaniel."

Ray pulls a full stop.

"...wow, I'm such an idiot."

Marjorie's eyes are widening too. "Well, don't feel too bad. I only just figured it out myself."

"Yeah, but you don't work with him."

"Well, like you said, you don't work with him that often. Doesn't sound like he's given many specifics outside their habits either."

Ray scrubs his face. "I guess I'll ask him tonight, just to be sure. Be subtle about it."

"Oh, honey," Marjorie says, "you don't have a subtle bone in your body."

Ray points to her. "Excuse me, who was able to get Don and Dawn to play with those blocks today?"

"How's the mayor, Ray?"

Ray opens his mouth. Closes it and reaches for the paper towels.

Ray probably should've factored this in when he started dating the mayor.

"This" being grabbed and pistol-whipped on his way to his second job, then waking up bound in the backseat of an old car.

Shock proves to be one helluva drug when all Ray can think about is how he hopes they didn't mess with his uniform. Also he cries a little.

There's no creepy warehouse, but an apartment. They put a jacket over Ray's shoulders to block his zip-tied hands. One guy puts an arm around his shoulders and tells him between his teeth that if Ray tries to struggle or scream, they'll put a bullet in his head.

Ray thinks they're bluffing, since there's gotta be a reason they kidnapped him. Fear freezes him under his captors' arm.

A woman is waiting for them, brown skin wrinkled and slightly sun-spotted.

"Sorry for this," she says flatly, "but we gotta get the mayor's attention. Nothin' against you."

Ray's ushered to the one beaten couch. He can't stop staring at the guns in the others' twitchy hands.

"Stay there, nice and quiet," the woman says, "and you'll be fine. Understand?"

Ray nods shakily. Shock makes him think of his waiting job again. He wonders if Rory or Jax will notice his absence enough to ask. Jax is a good friend; he might. Ugh, he'll have to wait to ask about Ray and Nathaniel now.

One of the guys carries Ray's duffle bag in. He takes out Ray's phone while the woman manhandles Ray to cut his ties.

"Now you're gonna send a text," she instructs, "One to a co-worker sayin' you're sick, and one to the mayor with this address." She relays it. "Add whatever lovey-dovey shit you want. Make 'im desperate to find you."

Ray clenches his fingers, willing them to stop trembling. He takes his phone.

Jax tells him to get better. Despair tightens Ray's throat.

It's Leo's turn.

>>Ray 40th and 1st, apartment 1E. I'm cooperating so they promised not to hurt me. Don't come here half-cocked. I love you.

Relief trickles through the fear when Leo takes a few minutes to reply. He knows him. It means Leo's planning―or someone forced him to stop and plan. Lisa, probably. He'd told Ray he was going to dinner to meet her new girlfriend tonight.

Unfortunately, the interim makes the others twitchier and the woman's eyes narrower.

Finally, Ray's phone vibrates.

>>Leo I'll be there.

The guns relax. Ray breathes out.

Leo walks in calmly. His nostrils flare when he sees a gun pressed to Ray's head, but he otherwise remains composed.

"So," he deadpans, closing the door behind him, "I assume you have complaints bureaucracy wouldn't let you state."

The woman nods. "Call me Janice, Mr. Mayor. These are my sons, Jimmy, Connor, and Dan."

"Pleasure," Len says curtly, crossing his arms. "But before we start this conversation, I'd be obliged if you―"

"Took the gun outta your boyfriend's face? Go ahead, Jimmy."

Jimmy steps away. Ray swallows. He must look like a mess, but he forces a relaxed nod to Leo.

Leo scrutinizes him a second. Janice sits at the tiny table in the corner. He joins her.

Next, Leo takes out a small notepad and pen and hands it to Janice. "Tell me while you write it all down. I promise to do my utmost to meet your points."

Janice stiffens in surprise, but starts listing. She takes up two and a half pages. Ray has no sense of time, so he doesn't know how long the meeting lasts.

Leo takes the notepad, peruses it, then puts it back in his pocket. "One: I've been working nonstop haranguing the state on taxes. Two: would you and some people be willing to attend one of those meetings? Three: would you and those you represent also be amenable to my appointing a committee to serve as a direct line to me?"

The family's eyes pop out of their faces.

Leo glances at Ray. "I'm not gonna lie, Janice. I want to disarm one of your boys and knock all of you bloody for what you've done. But the fact is, I would've done the same thing. I was almost a criminal, you know, until my dad got mixed up with the Families and was gunned down. My sister and I went into the system, held onto each other. My mother Constance fought and fought until we got to go home. My brothers Mickey and Terry helped my pick-pocketing habits and we all got to graduate college. All because of one event in my life.

"I don't want this event to change your lives like mine could've been changed with my dad still in the picture. So you let my boyfriend come over to me, and I'll get my sister and her girlfriend to tell the police that you went to him without guns and asked him to contact me nice and peaceful."

Janice's eyes are shining, but her spine is straight. "I'll hold you to your word, Mr. Mayor."

Ray stands on jelly legs. Leo stands to meet him. They clutch each other's hands with white-knuckled grips.

Without looking away from Ray, Leo says, "Come to my office in two days with whoever wants to join my next meeting. I managed to haggle for next week instead of next month. Me and my secretary are pretty good at political jargon. We can help you state your case in a way that'll make them listen. Select a few honest people to propose members of the committee. I'll arrange a walk-in appointment for them."

The three brothers keep swiveling their heads between their mother and Leo like they don't know what's throwing them off more.

Janice stands as well, folding her hands in front of her. "Thank you for your time, Mr. Mayor."

Leo glares at her. The room goes cold.

"If this happens again," he snarls, "I will not be so merciful."

Janice clenches her hands nods.

Softer, Leo says, "Come on, Ray. Let's get you home."

Ray can't look at anyone but him.

A car's waiting outside. Lisa and a black woman are in it.

"Dr. Shawna Baez," the woman says. Ray gives her a shaky handshake. "Count your breaths, okay? You're out."

She helps Ray with the counting while Leo gently presses his hand to his abdomen, breathing with him. Ray chokes a few times, leaning heavily against Leo. Meanwhile, Lisa knocks twice on the barrier and the car pulls away from the building.

The moment the car fades into focus, Ray collapses against Leo.

"I almost killed them," Leo says. Suddenly Ray realizes he's shaking too. "I almost killed them, Lise."

Lisa reaches across to squeeze his arm. "But you didn't, Lenny. Right?"

She's looking at Ray.

Ray shakes his head. "Even let 'em off easy."

Leo sighs. He pulls him closer. "I'm sorry. What they did to you was terrible. I didn't―"

"Leo. Just for a second, could you. Shut up?"

Leo kisses his hair.

"Well," Shawna says, "I hope I'll have more time to butter you up on our next dinner, Leo."

Ray snorts.

There are not two, but six people in Leo's apartment when they get back.

"Ray!" Mr. Allen cries, devastated, "Are you alright? I'm so sorry this happened to you!"

"Don't worry," Detective West-Allen says, "I've got a squad car coming. And if it's alright with you, I'll stay the night."

Most surprising, though, is Chef Rory calling from the kitchen, "You good, Sunshine?"

Ray blinks. "What...?"

"Hi!" Raymond Palmer says. Ray recognizes him from television and from a distance in a few parties. "Ray Palmer. I've got guys coming too. They'll be outside the door."

"And I'm Nathaniel," the floppy-haired guy from countless tabloids says, "Sorry we kinda tagged along."

"Pleasure to have you," Leo says. He sounds like it's not a pleasure at all.

Jax rushes to Ray. "I can't stay long. I just wanted to see if you were okay. I'm sorry I didn't do anything when you texted me, man."

"It's okay," Ray says. He tries for a smile, but it feels wrong on his face. He goes for a shoulder pat instead. "I, um. I had to keep it inconspicuous."

Jax looks far from assuaged, but he nods.

"Mick," Leo calls, "you better not be burnin' anything."

"Oh, Lenny," Lisa says, "as if he'd dare."

Ray rubs his eyes. "You two...you know each other?"

Rory grunts. "Met in the system. He was a twig. You're gettin' soup, by the way."

Ray's heard enthusiastic things about Rory's soup. He decides to focus on that for now. Well, that and―"So you're really married to that Palmer and Heywood?"

Raymond and Nathaniel grin. "Yep!" Ray chirps, "We met at―"

"Ray," Nathaniel says, rubbing his Ray's arm, "Somehow I don't think he's in the mood for our backstory tonight."

Ray's still clinging to Leo's hand. "Yeah, I'll―I'll hear it some other time."

"Of course," Raymond quickly replies, "Sorry, yes."

"I'm Shawna, by the way," Shawna says, giving Raymond the chance to change topics.

"Come on," Leo murmurs.

The bedroom door closes on Rory's, "So you're the new girlfriend."

Ray's legs can't hold him anymore.

"I'm sorry," Leo whispers from the edge of the bed.

Ray, now with comfy sweats and a tray of heavenly soup, shrugs. "Not gonna lie, I'm a little upset that you brushed it off so easy―"

"I didn't want to," Leo snaps. "As soon as I walked in there, I had a plan to break one of their wrists and take their gun. I know how to shoot someone, Ray. I know where to aim. How to make them scream."

Ray sits in silence.

Leo looks at the wall. "My dad liked to teach me lessons. Well―he called 'em lessons. When he was assigned a target that wasn't money or jewels, he'd show me things. I never shot anyone―" Ray blows out a sigh, "―but it's all still there. Eidetic memory, you know."

"Yeah," Ray croaks, "I know."

Leo closes his eyes. "He would've tried teaching Lisa, too." Quieter, he adds, "My baby sister."

He turns back to Ray. "So no, I didn't wanna let 'em off easy. I didn't mean to minimize what happened to you." He leans forward. "But I wasn't lying. If someone takes you again, I won't fucking hesitate."

Ray sees real, cold murder. The hardened criminal Leo could've been if his father had taken one more measure to protect himself.

He kisses Leo until the look is gone. Though something in him, something he never thought was there, had relished in it.

The next morning, Ray calls Marjorie. She curses and yells at Ray's kidnappers and commands him to take the week. She's pretty awesome.

"You've been early since we started dating," Leo says, "I'm sure your dedication helped."

Ray hums, unwilling to leave the bed. "Well, commute's easier."

"...you could make that permanent, you know."

Nevermind, Ray's up.

"Come again?"

Leo's eyes wander around him the way they do when he's nervous. "I gotta spare key. You spend so much time here already, and you keep telling me how much you hate your apartment."

Ray really does hate his apartment. His landlord is a jackass and everything breaks at least twice a day. Ray's pretty sure he could make a living as a repairman now.

"Plus, you could do a better job search. I know you like the daycare, but. You could put those computer skills to work, and Central's got plenty of opportunities. Would help if you lived here. And after...after last night, I realized―"

"Leo."

Leo finally looks at him.

Ray smiles, head tilting. "That's a great sales pitch, but if I'm gonna move in, it's because I want to live with you."

Leo smiles back.

In between kisses, Ray says, "I don't think I'll be able to offer much for rent, though."

"Well," Len says, "consider the offer revoked."

They laugh.

Then Ray sits on the bed. "...shit. I was kidnapped."

Leo's expression hardens. "It won't happen again."

"You don't know that, Leo. And I know what you're thinking. You're not gonna assign me a guard, either."

Leo glowers.

Ray sighs, gripping the edge of the mattress. "I don't want you to shoot anybody. If you killed because of me, I don't know if I could bear it."

Leo cups his face. "I can do a mean pistol-whip too. But Ray―if you're so sure about this, then next time it might not be a handful of citizens just wanting their voice to be heard."

Ray hugs his waist, burying his face in Leo's stomach. "I know."

"...if you don't want to―"

Ray snaps his head up. "I'm not leaving you because somebody stole me off the streets." Leo's shoulders relax. "I'm just. I'm scared, that's all."

Leo kisses him. "I wish you didn't have to be."

"Comes with the territory, I guess. Really, I should've seen it coming. You don't date the mayor without putting a target on your back."

Leo closes his eyes. He looks as haunted as before, when he'd talked about his dad.

Ray takes a deep breath. Fiddles with the hem of Leo's shirt. "But."

Leo opens his eyes.

Ray looks up at him. "But I can deal with that. You're worth it."

Leo's face crumples. Their next kiss tastes like salt.

"I'm gonna sign up for self-defense classes," Ray tells him.

Leo kisses him again. "That'd been my next question."

[redlemonz]

Day #3

Fuck everything. I can’t deal with this, what’s even happening. Ugh, all I have is this continuous warm, stabbing-like pain inside me which won’t just go away, following what felt like a bitter end to last night. Being human absolutely sucks to begin with, but even more so when you’re just a sensitive and emotionally vulnerable asshole with a chemical imbalance in his head which tells him everything is way worse, and you should deserve to feel way worse.

Day 3 - upside down & inside out

The above basically sums up the morning so far today. I woke up and punished myself, and will probably continue to, (trust me, it’s not really a choice I can make) for my actions last night. I’m an on-going detriment to myself as it is, so the real question is, why am I being one to her - even more than I already was. Just leave her alone & stop finding literally any excuse to contact her, even if it’s with good intentions - It’s not about you and it doesn’t matter anymore. Give her what she wants for a change - not you. She put up with your bullshit undeservingly for long enough.

Work. It’s a Thursday.. inching closer to the weekend - ugh, screw the weekend. Finding it difficult enough today to keep myself in tact at my desk as it is, let alone in my own lonely presence at home. I even shifted my scheduled yet unscheduled shower crying session to a different location - my car during the drive to work. Gotta change things up after all. Prior to leaving though, for some unknown reason today I decided to reattach my detachable hood to the coat-jacket-thing I’ve been wearing to work for the last couple years. Of all days, I feel like I needed it today. Not because it’s raining or anything - it’s actually a beautiful day (in which I picture myself walking BBT with her at One tree hill after work, hand in hand - great). Aside from being a wondrous fashionable alteration, I believe it’s probably more the fact that the hood gives me a false sense of security, as it shields me ever so slightly from the cruel world. I can keep to myself, only looking ahead and not having to expose myself to more, unnecessary features of society in what’s around me. Fashionable change aside, a change in myself is what I need fullstop to try get use to life without her. I can’t be the same guy I once was, as it’s all too familiar to my daily life with her. I have to be someone else.. I have to be something else (homage to the fictional guy who’s identity I’m saved on her phone under as). Which brings me to the daily cup of coffee I drank at work with the other two. No sugar or milo mixed in today (self made mocha recipe). I wanted to hate myself like the rest of the world and taste the absolute bitterness of life literally, and it definitely didn’t disappoint in that regard. I don’t deserve the sweetness. During this coffee time, I was also now starting to fail in my facade of chipper-ness. In fact I couldn’t help but openly admit to the other two, that unlike yesterday where I was trying my best to be upbeat and fine about things, that I’m not. I’m broken. I know it’s what thy wanted to hear as they saw right through me the last couple days anyway - and it’s time to start facing my own truth.. even if it’s slowly and steadily. Thankfully I was able to contain the tears. Im getting by through making small talk with other colleagues who don’t know about these circumstances, and being genuinely happy for them where I can. Glad to hear that your back injury is improving and that you’re attending all your medical appointments. Glad to hear your pregnancy is going swell as ever now, after everything you’ve been through. Glad to hear you’ve finally promoted to another team - you deserve it. Glad to hear that you think the new Doctor on the show being a female isn’t actually a problem - you’re fantastic. And so on. I just want to be able to be glad for her. Which once again it dawns upon me the constant emphasis and repetitive reminder that I need to exit her life.. to make things easy for her. Considering easy is what she wants. Pretty sure it’s quite distinguishable by now with everything written thus far that I don’t fit that/her criteria. I’ve never really been good enough when it comes down to it. I feel exhausted. It’s been a long as hell day at work & my anxiety has picked up, though still controlled as it’s still a small dose (which I am extremely thankful for). Somewhat ironically she’s actually helped me gain enough strength during our relationship to battle it - for now anyway. Let’s see, another memory to blabber on about just sparked (obviously it did - because this whole damn thing is about her and almost anything, as insignificant as it may seem, can form a link or be symbolic if your mind & heart are assholes to you) as a result of a colleague asking one of the ‘the three’ to borrow his umbrella as she broke the other one of ‘the three’’s umbrella and still owes him a replacement. Back when I was still stuck in the friendzone yet still head over boots for her, I had this cool umbrella with a samurai sword handle. She accidentally broke it through tripping down a small, not-very-steep hill on one of our many mountain walks together. I was just glad that she was alright. Then she stabbed me with said broken part of umbrella. Yup. Another accident (I hope), which caused my left thumb to continuously bleed. Never in my life I was so psyched to have brought an umbrella, and especially have the events follow in the way they did (with the exception of her falling). She so cutely wrapped up my thumb and first aided me with her scouting skills, with a bunch of leaves and whatever else she could find. My heroine. To top it all off, my thumb received a couple kisses from her, and eventually so did my cheek when we parted ways that beautiful day. From that day I still have a voice recording of her at the summit of the mountain as she was singing/shouting out the lyrics to Kelly Clarkson’s “since you’ve been gone”, of which the lyrics are now more than appropriate (yes I know, most songs are about relationships and love, if not bitches and money - which in a way are also their own relationships?). Her hair tied, black and white polka dot top & light blue jeans with a purple cardigan wrapped around them - looking as beautiful as always.. but nevertheless, back to the point at hand - She still owes me an umbrella. Though not really - the kisses I received that day and her company make up for it pretty well, and can generally make up for anything she breaks.. even a heart.

Back home (yes I’m currently living a very exciting life as you can tell). Just watched a bit of an episode of Friends - Ross still in denial though clearly crazy about Rachel, whom is unaware and worried about their history together being weird if she were to consider moving in as his flatmate (which he desperately desires). The ultimately classic television adaption of the most special kind of love between two human beings - a balance of being best friends, lovers, partners and perceptively & potentially, even soulmates. Looking back again at my recent wonderful weekend (+sick day monday) in which my failed attempts to win her back for longer than that precious time we had cherished together, I sunk low, although true to my own geeky belief, by utilising that very TV reference of us being Ross & Rachel. Definitely didn’t click straight away as to why she bursted out laughing about my overly geeky and lame reference comparison, until she made me realise I admitted to being Ross. Fuck. Long ago my group of friends had this ongoing debate with me that I was the Ross of our group, which I took as an insult at the time comparative to the other characters, cause well, it’s Ross. I overly defended my case for ages, and to this day am still firmly of the idea that I’m a combinative representation of all the main characters. Let’s break it down. Like come on - the under-appreciated punny comedy of, yet easy to pick on, Chandler (obviously my favourite as mentioned first). The obsessive Monica who can’t handle dirty dishes & has to make scheduled plans. The mainstream, basic bitch, Rachel (oh shit, please note this definition does not at all apply to 'her’ being Rachel as per my geeky romantic acclaims above. She is waaay more). The randomness and open weirdness offered by Phoebe. The comic idiot, Joey (although I don’t even have to act the part). And fine yes, the hopeless romantic, and sensitive Ross. Wow - What an positively arrogant bastard I just became during my usual scheduled time of despairing and regretting stuff. Though I don’t mean to be arrogant - as the point I was trying to bring across is that we all have various qualities and attributes from each of the Friends. They all reside in each of us to some extent, so you can’t just be fitted to one. Back to her - she just snapped me? What in the world? Okay calm down dude, relax you idiot. Don’t ruin this moment - it’s not a big deal - it’s just a snap (even though it visibly means so much considering your little bit of anxiety subsided without you initially even noticing, and you’re grinning like an idiot at her name popping up on your phone). And open! Oh the absolute bloody hell. It’s a snap of the same episode I just watched, on the plus one channel certainly enough, because it’s an hour later. The caption - “hi friend” on top of a very distinct character’s face. I’m Ross. That cheeky yet adorable little minx (Minx? What? So I tend to say non-sensical stuff & my brain freezes more than usual quite often when it comes to her). So I switch over to the same channel, grab my phone & send her a “hey friend” snap right back - and you can probably guess quite easily.. that it was on top of a portrait view of Rachel. So we snapped and chatted ever so slightly more this evening - and my whole day turned upside down - which means I’m the right way up now.

Finished writing up my little pub quiz for tomorrow at work. Snuck in a question right at the end about the snowy mountain I was at with her on the weekend, which I couldn’t resist. Well I mean I guess I could have, but didn’t want to. It just felt right and left me with blissful content, ending the quiz on such a beautiful note. Just like us. It all get quite unintentionally poetic, and I loved it. Plus people need to learn more about the Country they live in, so I’m really doing everyone favours here (says the hypocrite). What makes this night even better is that she just did my quiz. I know she didn’t probably care to talk to me or anything, which doesn’t matter because she did my quiz & I’m full of smiles as a result. I kept to my word and didn’t call her though. We made it work as I sent her real time snaps of each question on my TV, blanking out the rest of the background or hiding other questions with various random emojis. One by one. She even cutely reaffirmed the 10 second rule of answering without me having to mention anything. The smartypants ended up with 6/10 (even a 6.5 really - heh, as she chose correctly on one of them the second time but I strictly took her first answer). I can guarantee its gonna be higher than the average amongst large groups tomorrow when I conduct this live. She even cracked a few of her classic puns for one of the questions which wasn’t surprising at all, and kept this stupid smile glued to my face. Then we wished each other a nice weekend and night ahead & parted our ways. Though it was a simple experience, it was a momentous feeling - especially with that last question. I wonder if she thought back to our weekend also because of it. Maybe it made her smile? I hope so. It certainly made me.. did I already mention that? Well shit, this can’t be good.