#get a power back n adaptor

[milflewis]

i have sm to do later on today when i wake up lmao

[arcadequeerz]

I got it fixed! Thank god.

Guess whose laptops fucked up again ^_^

[ryqoshay]

UW - A Perfect World: Somnial

Flagship: N/A Starring: Karin, Kanata Rating: G Words: 652 AU: A Perfect Dimension (?) Fandom: Love Live Nijigasaki Parent Fic: Unstable World Time Frame: ??? Event: Promptober 2022 Event Source: Idol Fanfic Heaven channel on Discord Prompt: Somnial

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Author’s Note: Bonus 2nd entry for Oct 24th

Summary: Karin seeks a solution to her insomnia

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Somnial? Karin read the sign.

What kind of name was that? And what was with the cutesy motif of the sign? Softly glowing violet light against a neutral background. And the letters were surrounded by simple icons of fluffy sheep. It made Karin tired just looking at it.

But maybe that was good. Emma had recommended she come here to cure for her insomnia. Wait, both of those words had somn in them. Maybe somnial meant getting sleep, the opposite of insomnia?

Well, whatever. Karin pushed through the door and shuffled into the shop.

The lobby area was… soft. That was the only way to describe it. Couches laden with pillows lined the walls and the gentle smell of lavender and… chamomile? floated in the air. Even the plush rugs looked comfortable enough to sleep on. Perhaps Emma was on to something.

At the back of the lobby was a small desk, atop which was a tousled mess of light brown hair.

“Uhm… hello?” Karin said tentatively as she approached. No response. “Hello?”

“Yeah, yeah… I hear ya…” A drowsy voice drawled before a pajama-clad arm rose up. “Go ‘head an’ take your usual spot.” The hand motioned in the general direction of a nearby door.

“But this is my first time here?”

The head popped up. “A new customer?”

Cute. Was Karin’s first thought as her gaze found amethyst… no, the woman’s eyes were too soft to compare to solid gemstones. Her bedraggled appearance was oddly adorable as she pushed herself to a sitting position, not seeming to notice or care as her pajama shirt slipped off her shoulder.

Well, cute… but not as cute as Emma… maybe…

“Welcome to Somnial.” The woman greeted. “Where I make all your dreams.”

“Come true?”

The woman laughed lightly and shook her head. “No, silly. Kanata-chan literally make dreams here.”

“Oh…”

“And you look like you could use some good ones.” Kanata? stood slowly. “Come, let me show you my wares.” She beckoned Karin follow through the door. “Oh, before I forget, your name?”

“Karin. Asaka Karin.”

“Oho…” Kanata paused and gave Karin a thorough look over. “You’re the one Emma-chan sent. She should have warned me you were so… dashingly lovely. Perhaps Kanata-chan’s dream could come true.” She laughed at her own joke.

“I… uhm…” Karin could feel heat in her cheeks.

“Anyway, let Kanata-chan find something that will help Karin-chan stop needing to hide the bags under her eyes with makeup.”

She’s already jumped to using chan? Wait, she could see those under my eyes? Damnit, I need to pay better attention in the morning… Did Emma see them too? Why didn’t she say anything? Geez…

“Let’s see…” Kanata roamed through several displays of sleep aids. “We’ve got some wonderful teas and lotions and bath salts, oh and plenty of incense.”

“I’ve tried those kinds of things.”

“Well, then we can go the high-tech route. If you have an adaptor, I can run one of many programs designed to help you sleep.”

“Mm…” Karin felt herself sneer.

“There are also magic and psionic solutions, ranging from simple hypnosis to more powerful commands. Oh, I know…” Kanata picked up a wand. “Sleep spell. Simple but effective. No side effects unless you have an aversion to the arcane.”

“Uhm, Emma mentioned I could try things here?”

“Of course!” Kanata smiled. “You can use Room 3. I rent in 90-minute intervals, as that is the typical length of a full sleep cycle. You need to reach REM to enjoy your dreams.”

“Can I try one, then add more if I need them?”

“Absolutely.” Kanata then opened the door and handed the wand and a slip to Karin. “Once you’re settled, read this phrase. I’ll come by to check on you after.”

“Thank you.”

“Dream well.”

Karin climbed into an exceptionally comfortable bed, read the phrase. And slipped into the best sleep she had in ages.

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Author’s Note Continued: Not the messed up background I gave Maki and Nico here in the Paragon dimension. But that doesn’t mean I lack plans...

[howaboutthat111]

What You Want, I Want PT: 2

Summary: Y/N is no longer that small, little 11 year old girl. She now a popular 16 year old at Midtown High thanks to the snap. But she knows little of her powers, and their capabilities. Peter has a crush on her too and has no idea how to help her. This is a terrible summary but it is follow up to From the Ashes, You Will Rise story.

Series Masterlist

You walk onto the plane with unease, not liking traveling on plane. You look forward and see Peter and Ned sitting next to each, disappointing you a bit. You were hoping you could sit next to Peter this trip.

“Hey Peter, this thing is called a plane. It flies over the poor neighborhoods instead of through them.” Flash tells Peter, laughing at his joke in doing so. You look in his hands and see a champagne glass. You focus on the champagne, feeling the liquid in the glass, and telling it to move onto Flash’s shirt. It does, soaking his shirt. You and MJ look and one another and laugh at him. A hostess comes and gives him a towel, apologizing profusely for the spill. She gives him another champagne glass as a replacement.

“Um miss” MJ raises her hand at the lady, “he blipped, so he’s still 16”. The lady takes the glass back from Flash, and walking away. You and MJ share a look with one another and give each other a fist bump before walking to our seats. Mine was next to Betty while her’s was next to Brad.

You talk with Betty a little bit, but not much since both of you aren’t that close to one another.

“Umm, Y/N?” Ned says, coming up to your side.

“Peter has a perfume allergy, and this lady in front of us is wearing a ton of perfume...” Ned says.

“Peter has a perfume allergy?” Betty asks, not believing Ned for a second.

“Peter has a perfume allergy?” Mr. Harrington says, standing up from his seat.

“Trust me, I know a thing or two about perfume allergy’s. Ok Peter, you come up and sit next to me. Brad you move next to Y/N and Betty move next to Ned.” Harrington says, standing up to let Brad out of his seat.

You look at Peter and see a disappointed look on his face.

“Hey Y/N!” Brad says, sitting down next to you.

“Hey Brad!” You say back, happy to have a friend at least sitting next to you.

“I have a duel head phone adaptor if you want to watch a movie?” He takes out his iPad and headphones to show them off.

“Sure, I’d love to.” You tell him. You look back at Peter real fast, feeling bad for him. You were happy when you though there was a chance you and Peter could sit next to one another but you hoped you could spend more time together over the trip.

————————————————————————

The trips first stop was in Venice. You would go to the hotel first then go to visit the city. The hotel was filled with rust and moss from the water, making it looks beaten down and old. But you all placed your stuff in your rooms and headed out.

You looked at the city for awhile but it got boring so you left to go to the canal. You took off your shoes and socks, and sat down on the edge of the sidewalk. You put your feet into the water, relishing in the cold feeling then accompanies it. You sit in silence and watch the boats float by.

“Hey Y/N”

You turn around and see Peter standing behind you holding a small round case in his hand.

“Hey Peter, wanna come sit down with me?” You pat the seat next to you. His eyes light up and a small smile takes form on his face.

“Uhh yah I would..I would love that”.

Peter sits next to you and the two of you sit in silence for awhile.

“You know, the first canals were built in Mesopotamia”, you say, trying to lift the awkward silence.

“Oh yah that Um cool”, Peter gives off another one of his adorable laughs and looks back up at you. You eyes drift to his lips and want nothing more than to kiss them. Before you could give in to your wants Peter gets up from the ground hastily.

“Wowwww” Peter grabs your arm and pulls you away from the water, where dozens and dozens of crabs climb out of the water. A loud boom erupts from the water, and a rush of water burst outward. Peter then grabs you and puts his body in front of your own, shielding you from the water. You look to your right and see Ned and Betty crash into a wall.

“Betty! Ned!” You yell out, rushing out of Peter grip and towards there boat.

“Are you two ok?” You ask them, help them out of the boat with Peters help.

“We’re fine but look!” Betty points to something behind you, and you turn around to see. The water looks to have formed a man monster, with arms, head, face, body, everything made out of water, destroying everything around you.

“Everyone go, go inland!” You help people around you up, leading them away.

“Y/N you have to go” Peter says, grabbing onto your shoulders.

“Ok, yah ok”, you lie to him, rushing off into an alleyway. You look to your left and right to see if anyone would see you as you transform into your uniform. You skin feels like it is peeling away from your body, and being replaced by something else entirely. The feeling last for a second but feels replenishing.

Once it’s done you look up and do a hard jump onto the top of the building. You reach your hand out and try to control the water, but you don’t feel anything. You feel the water in the canals and even water going underneath the monster but no water inside of it. Almost as if it isn’t made of water at all. You give up on controlling it and look around and see Peter jumping on wooden poles. He lands on a bridge right as a wave of water comes towards it.

You jump off the building and rush over to Peter right before the wave of water can hit him. You reach out hand out of hold the water back before it can hit the bridge, causing it to wrap around the bridge like a force field. Peter looks at you with curiosity in his eyes as you drop the water floating around you.

“Who..who are you?” He asks. You stare at his brown eyes for a moment before seeing a green light come out of nowhere and move the monster to land.

You quickly use your super speed to run out and follow the water monster. The green light brings it to wide open area and start attacking it with green bolts. You step in front of the green monster, and place your handle ground, close your eyes, and ficus on the wind. You tell the wind to move around the monster, faster and faster, till it creates a tornado of sorts around it. You stand up and watch it dissipate but a see a structure about to fall on your class. You quickly hold the building up with your mind, waiting for your class to move away. Your eye begin to water, nose begin to bleed.Peters quickly swings in and moves the class, and you drop to the ground. The last thing you see before you black out is the green light looking down at you.

Tag List

@cherthegoddess @big-galaxy-chaos @eridanuswave @allycat449-blog @ksmy-99 @imbumkyung @bartlebyreid

[nerv0usm3chanic]

CORRUPTION

Chapters: 1 || 2 || 3 || 4

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((NOTE - This is an introduction to a new PERMANENT AU feature exclusive to nerv0usm3chanic. Please see further, generalized information regarding this AU here: X

Be advised that each of these chapters are VERY LONG. The full content will be tucked under a read more after a brief introduction segment.

DO NOT REBLOG.))

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“Arthur...have you been feeling okay?” Vivi asked, taking a seat beside Arthur as he focused on the project before him. He’d been fiddling with robotics for a while just as a hobby, but given how long and hard he’d been working, it looked like Arthur was working on an even more vital project than any before. He was clumsy with his right hand as he set down a pair of tweezers and looked at Vivi with tired eyes and a weak smile.

“I’ve been better, Vivi.” Arthur sighed tiredly. He’d been back from the hospital for nearly a month now - two and a half months since he’d lost his arm - and the blond spent nearly every day working on an intense project. “It’s...not too easy adjusting to not having something...” Arthur admitted quietly, staring at the metal bones before him.

“Oh, jinx! I’m sorry, Artie, I-I didn’t mean-!” Vivi started, backpedaling in her sentence before Arthur reached out with his right hand and touched her shoulder. He smiled at her softly, assuring her that it was alright.

“N-no, it’s okay, Vivi. You know it’s not your fault.” Arthur said gently, reassuring Vivi that what had happened was in the past and really there wasn’t anything she could have done. Except maybe not make them go to the cave in the first place. But Arthur refused to entertain that dark train of thought...it might wake him up. “It was just...a lot of crazy coincidences.” That was something he told himself over and over, day in and day out. It helped him feel better about the absence on his left side.

“Hmmm...well...are-are things going better?” She asked, tucking her hair behind her ears, “Is it easier with your cousin and uncle taking care of things?”

“Hmm...uh, well...to a degree.” Arthur answered, turning back to his project and carefully picking up the tweezers. Even after weeks of practice, Arthur still found it hard to adjust to being right-handed...among other things. “Lucan takes care of the front of the shop and does some fixing and Uncle Lance still runs the shop as normal. I help out with checking numbers and making sure bills and such get paid. So, I’m still working. It keeps me busy when I’m not sleeping or working on this thing.”

“So this is...” the blue-hared woman started, looking at the complex assemblage of metal rods, hinges, and wires, along with a lot of other things Vivi didn’t know the particular names of.

“Yep.” Arthur nodded, using the tweezers to carefully arrange a pattern of wires to eventually lead to sensors in one of the digits. He still had a lot of work to do before he was finished with his prosthetic arm.

--

“Okay um, yeah, um hold it there, for just a second.” Arthur directed as his doctor carefully positioned the first rendition of the blond’s new left arm. Six months had passed and this was going to be the first attempt to connect the false appendage to the specialized port. In that time, Arthur had spent so much time studying and using the nearby university resources, he might as well have earned an honorary degree with what he was attempting. Arthur knew this was going to hurt and he needed his cousin and uncle for support. The pale fingers of his right hand were grasping tight to Lance’s rough gloved hand in worried anticipation.

“Just take yer time, lad.” Lance replied in the softest version of his gruff voice. He wasn’t the most comforting of individuals, but the short-statured Kingsmen was practically Arthur’s parent with how much time he’d put into raising the boy. Arthur wouldn’t have asked anyone else to be there for emotional support. “An’ don’ do anything ye don’ feel ready fer.”

“We ken always do this later if ye need ta iron out some wrinkles.” Lucan offered, giving Arthur a pat on his whole shoulder. As his cousin, it was expected that Lucan would be somewhat close to Arthur. But seeing as the two had bonded so much more closely since Lucan moved to Tempo, the younger Kingsmen might as well have been brothers. All three men looked to the doctor preparing to attach the false arm.

“I wish I could numb the pain for you, Arthur.” He murmured gently, “But this is a prototype and...we need to gauge how well the adaptor works to communicate between the wires and nerves...” The arm had been through so many tests and iterations with the help of the local university and waiting for more tests wasn’t going to work anymore.

The doctor needed results for his paper. The university needed results to keep funding the specialist and Arthur. Arthur needed results...in the form of a new left arm. The chance that there would even be any kind of re-use of his left arm again was enough to motivate Arthur for this improvement.

“I’m ready...just...be careful.” Arthur nodded, gripping his uncle’s hand tighter as the prosthetic’s port approached the adaptor his doctor had installed two months earlier. There was that ominous tingle in the back of his mind, a dark chuckle rising up from the depths as the separated parts got closer. Amber eyes widened in fear as he noticed a small flux of energy and a tiny zap between the ports now just millimeters apart.

“W-wai-!” But he was too late. A pained scream ripped free from him, lightning practically erupting around Arthur’s arm port as everyone was pushed from the blond. Arthur would wake sometime later in a hospital bed, his new arm heavy and limp. He would cry out in angered frustration, causing everyone to leave the room as he pitched anything within reach at those nearby.

He had failed...again! There was nothing this metal arm could do but sit there! It was an arm-shaped paperweight...it was just good for looking like an arm...until he made a metal finger twitch.

--

“Alright, you ready to test out that coordination, Artie?” Lewis called over the short distance between him and Arthur while Vivi and Mystery watched eagerly. Arthur was going to be practicing more refined movement with his arm, this time it was catching and throwing a ball. A simple task for many, but Arthur had been so focused on preparing his arm, working on it days and nights for months. Vivi was proud to see Arthur regaining himself; the use of his left arm being the most important thing she’s noticed.

“I’m ready!” Arthur called back, flexing his robotic hand to prepare it to catch the baseball. He’s been working on getting back to being left-handed, but had found tasks much easier to accomplish with developed skill in using both his hands. Forced ambidexrty was interesting to accomplish - and he was exceedingly proud of his abilities - but now the point was to get his false arm’s motions up to snuff.

“He’s improved so much!” Vivi says to Mystery as she watches Lewis pitch the ball gently. “I was really worried about him for a while.”

“Yeah...it was a little shaky for a while there, wasn’t it?” Mystery added, internally still angry at himself for using such drastic action. It’s been a solid 11 months since then and still-! Mystery nearly bolted and then forced himself to sit back down with a huff; he was doing his best to contain the canine urge to chase the ball. The first few volleys back and forth were fine, no trouble at all for Arthur. Mystery felt a sudden strange energy in the air as Arthur caught the ball again and perked up as he smelt a strange singe.

“That had some real pep!” Lewis laughed as he ran to catch the ball and prepared to throw it back. He was so glad to see Arthur seemingly back to himself once more. For a while, Arthur had become a near-complete hermit, forgoing any kind of social engagement to get his arm made.

Arthur himself felt almost too relieved to be able to use his arm so easily. Physical therapy with the doctors was tough and mechanical therapy with the robotic majors at the local university was a nightmare...but it was worth it to have a functional arm once again. And the grant money to develop the appendage further wasn’t half-bad either. It was exciting, thrilling even! He almost could feel the electric excitement as he-oh...oh no. Arthur caught the ball and paused his adrenaline rush as he sees electricity dance over his arm again and hears the sizzle of the tennis ball’s singing fibers in his hand. Quickly he passed the ball to his other hand.

“Ah- uh, I think th-that’s enough for now. I think the arm’s getting a little overworked. Ah, um, st-static and all that!” He gives an awkward grin to ease Vivi and Lewis’s sudden confusion. “I’m ah, g-gonna go inside and discharge.” Arthur gave an awkward laugh and scurried to get inside the mechanics shop again, his trio of friends were left worried and confused.

“Why won’t you leave me alone?” Arthur whispered in a hiss, glaring at his hand as a ribbon of green electricity coiled over the metal. The dark voice in his head merely chuckled as Arthur went to a specialized discharging station in his room.

‘I was bored. You live a very dull life, Kingsmen.’ The voice hummed idly, ‘If you would just allow me to take over-’

“Never! Just-just leave already!” Arthur murmured, sliding into his room and heading for the discharging rod. On the surface, it just let off static electricity. On the inside, there was a battery hooked up and storing the electricity Arthur would often unwillingly produce. He used the power to run a lamp attached to his desk.

‘If I could, I might...but at this moment, I can’t. So I will just bide my time, boy. I am very patient~. And when your friends inevitably abandon you for your behavior~.’ Arthur frowned, furious that he had to deal with this thing all the time. But what could he do? Exorcising a spirit was one thing, but he was sure this being wouldn’t let go after a few holy words, a splash of water, and some special tags.

Arthur might need to find someone who can offer more specialized help than a priest.

--

Chapters: 1 || 2 || 3 || 4

[imagekeepr]

funny and fake names

this list of fake names was compiled for humor. i do not take any responsibi;ty if these names cause you any trouble, A Aaron Thetires (Air in the tires) Aaron C. Reskew (Air & sea rescue) Abe Rudder (Hey brother) Achilles Punks (I'll kill these punks) Adam Bomb (Atom bomb) Adam Meway (Out of my way) Adam Sapple (Adam's apple) Adolf Oliver Nipples (Ate off all of her nipples) Ahmed Adoodie (I made a doodie - from The Simpsons) Al B. Zienya (I'll be seeing you) Al Beback (I'll be back) Al DePantzeu (I'll de-pants you) Al E. Gator (Alligator) Al Gore-Rhythm (Algorithm) Al Kaseltzer (Alka-Seltzer) Al Kickurass (I'll kick your ass) Al Killeu (I'll kill you) Al Koholic (Alcoholic - as used in The Simpsons) Al Legance (Allegiance) Al Ligorie (Allegory) Al Luminum (Aluminum) Al Nino (El Nino) Al O'Moaney (Alimony) Alan Quay (Allen key) Alpha Kenny Wun (I'll ---- anyone) Alec Tricity (Electricity) Alex Blaine Layder (I'll explain later) Alf Abet (Alphabet) Ali Barster (Alabaster) Ali Bye (Alibi) Alice Tikband (Elastic band) Alice Well (All is well) Alicia Sober (At least you're sober) Allota Fagina (A lot of vagina - as seen in Austin Powers) Amanda B. Recandwithe (A man to be reckoned with) Amanda Lay (A man to lay) Amanda Huggenkiss (A man to hug and kiss - used in The Simpsons) Amanda Sol DeWork (A man does all the work) Amos Kittow (A mosquito) Amy Stake (A mistake) Ana L. Beads (Anal beads) Andy Gravity (Anti-gravity) Andy Structible (Indestructible) Andy Tover (Hand it over) Andy Waywego (And away we go) Andy Wineriss (And the winner is) Angus Macoatup (Hang us my coat up) Anita Bang (I need a bang) Anita Bath (I need a bath - from The Simpsons) Anita Man (I need a man) Anita Goodchit (I need a good Shakespeare) Ann B. Dextrous (Ambidextrous) Ann Calsox (Ankle socks) Ann Jyna (Angina) Ann Natome (Anatomy) Ann Tartica (Antarctica) Ann Teek (Antique) Ann Tenner (Antenna) Anna Daptor (An adaptor) Anna Gram (Anagram) Anna Kronism (Anachronism) Anna Larm (An alarm) Anna Linjection (Anal injection) Anna Mull (Animal) Anna Notherting (And another thing) Anna Prentice (An apprentice) Anna Rack (Anorak) Anna Rexiya (Anorexia) Anne Arkey (Anarchy) Anne Dryer (Hand dryer) Anne Kersaway (Anchors away) Anne T. Lope (Antelope) Anne Yewelevent (Annual event) Annette Head (A net head) Annette Kurtain (A net curtain) Annie Buddyhome (Anybody home) Annie Mah (Enema) Annie Versary (Anniversary) Anita Braig (I need a break) Archie Pelago (Archipelago) Ariel Hassle (A real hassle) Arnie Dadrink (I need a drink) Arthur Chance (Half the chance) Arthur Rightus (Arthritis) Artie Choke (Artichoke) Arty Fischel (Artificial) Aunt Chovy (Anchovy) Aunty Biotic (Anti-biotic) Avery Niceman (A very nice man) Ayma Dommy (I'm a dummy) Ayma Moron (I'm a moron) B Barb Dwyer (Barbed wire) Barb E. Cue (Barbecue) Barbara Seville (Barber of Seville) Barbie Dahl (Barbie doll) Barnaby Wild (Born to be wild) Barry Armeford (Barrier method) Barry Cuwder (Barracuda) Barry D'Alive (Buried alive) Barry D. Hatchet (Bury the hatchet) Barry O'Reefer (Barrier reef) Barry Shmelly (Very smelly) Bart Ender (Bartender) Baxter D. Wall (Backs to the wall) Bea O'Problem (B.O. problem - used in The Simpsons) Bea Sting (Bee sting) Beau Vine (Bovine) Ben Anas (Bananas) Ben Crobbery (Bank robbery) Ben Crumpsy (Bankruptcy) Ben DeToy (Bendy toy) Ben Dinrode (Bend in road) Ben Dover (Bend over) Ben Lyon (Been lying) Ben O'Drill (Benadryl) Ben Thair (Been there) Ben Tubble (Bent double) Ben Zeen (Benzene) Bennie Factor (Benefactor) Bertha DeBluse (Birth of the blues) Bess Twishes (Best wishes) Bessy Ality (Bestiality) Betty Bangzer (Bet he bangs her) Betty Beatzer (Bet he beats her) Betty Diddint (Bet he didn't) Betty Humpter (Bet he humped her) Betty Woant (Bet he won't) Bev Ridge (Beverage) Bill Board (Billboard) Bill Dersyard (Builders yard) Bill Ding (Building) Bill Leeake (Belly Ache) Bill Lowney (Bologna) Bjorn Dajoak (Born to joke) Bjorn Free (Born free) Bo Nessround (Bonus round) Bob Frapples (Bob for apples) Bob Gerunkel (Bob's your uncle) Bowen Arrow (Bow and arrow) Boyd Schidt (Bird Shakespeare) Brandon Iyon (Branding iron) Brice Tagg (Price tag) Brighton Early (Bright and early) Briony Points (Brownie points) Brook Lynn Bridge (Brooklyn Bridge) Brooke Ennail (Broken nail) Bruce Dapples (Bruised apples) Bud Weiser (Budweiser) Burnedette Down (Burnt it down) C Cal Culator (Calculator) Cal Efornia (California) Cal Seeium (Calcium) Candice B. DePlace (Can this be the place) Candice B. Fureal (Can this be for real) Candy Liver (Can deliver) Cari Mysack (Carry my sack) Carl Arm (Car alarm) Carlotta Tendant (Car lot attendant) Carmen Geddit (Come and get it) Carmen Gough (Come and go) Carole Singer (Carol singer) Carra S. Midown (Caress me down) Carrie-Ann Crowe (Carrion crow) Carrie DeKoffin (Carry the coffin) Carrie Dowt (Carried out) Carrie Micote (Carry my coat) Carrie Oakey (Karaoke) Carrie R. Bags (Carrier bags) Carrie Smattick (Charismatic) Carson O. Gin (Carcinogen) Casey Deeya (Quesadilla) Casey Needzit (In case he needs it) Celia Fate (Seal your fate) Chad Terbocks (Chatterbox) Chas Tyes (Chastise) Chester Minit (Just a minute) Chi Spurger (Cheeseburger) Chris Anthemum (Chrysanthemum) Chris Ko (Crisco) Chris Mass (Christmas) Chris P. Bacon (Crispy bacon) Chris P. Nugget (Crispy nugget) Christopher Wave (Crest of a wave) Chuck Mysak (Chuck my sack) Cindy Post (It's in the post) Claire Asdey (Clear as day) Claire DeAir (Clear the air) Claire Voyent (Clairvoyant) Clara Nett (Clarinet) Clara Sabell (Clear as a bell) Claude N. Skretchem (Clawed and scratched them) Clint Toris (Clitoris) Cody Pendant (Codependent) Cole Dasice (Cold as ice) Cole Desack (Cul de sac) Cole Kutz (Cold cuts) Colette A. Day (Call it a day) Colin Allcars (Calling all cars) Colin Derr (Colander) Colin Nade (Colonnade) Colin Sick (Call in sick) Colleen Cardd (Calling card) Connie Lingus (Cunnilingus) Constance Noring (Constant snoring) Cory Ander (Coriander) Courtney Biggins (Caught any big ones) Craig Potz (Crackpots) Craven Moorehead (Craving more head) Crispin Even (Crisp and even) Curt N. Rodd (Curtain rod) Curt Zee (Curtsy) Curtis E. Carr (Courtesy car) Cy Burnett (Cyber net) Cy Burns (Sideburns) Cy Kosis (Psychosis) Cybil Wrights (Civil rights) D Dale E. Bread (Daily bread) Dan D. Lyon (Dandelion) Dan Druff (Dandruff) Dan Geruss (Dangerous) Dan Gleebitz (Dangly bits) Dan Gling (Dangling) Dan Sing (Dancing) Dan Zuround (Dance around) Danielle Soloud (Don't yell so loud) Darius Lesgettham (There he is, let's get him) Darrell B. Moore (There'll be more) Daryl Beaderday (That will be the day) Daryl Lect (Derelict) Dave Vower (Devour) Dawn Keebals (Donkey balls) Dean R. Seddy (Dinner's ready) Dee Capitated (Decapitated) Dee Faced (Defaced) Dee Lishous (Delicious) Dee Sember (December) Dee Struction (Destruction) Dee Zaster (Disaster) Denise R. Knockin (The knees are knocking) Denise R. Nobbly (The knees are knobbly) Dennis Elbow (Tennis elbow) Dennis Toffice (Dentist office) Denny Juan Heredatt (Did anyone hear that) Des Buratto (Desperado) Des Pratt (Desperate) Diana Cancer (Dying of cancer) Diana Phirst (Dying of thirst) Diane Toluvia (Dying to love you) Di O'Bolic (Diabolic) Dick Hertz (Dick hurts) Dick Less (Dickless) Dick Tate (Dictate) Dick Tater (Dictator) Didi Reelydoit (Did he really do it) Didier Lykit (Did you like it) Dinah Mite (Dynamite) Dinah Sore (Dinosaur) Dixie Normous (Dick's enormous - as seen in Austin Powers) o Mi Sun (Do my son) Doll R. Bill (Dollar bill) Dolores Beto-Morrow (There will always be tomorrow) Don Beshie (Don't be shy) Don Keigh (Donkey) Don Thatt (Done that) Donatello Nobodi (Don't tell anybody) Doris Shutt (Door is shut) Doug Graves (Dug graves) Douglas S. Halfempty (The glass is half empty) Drew PeaColeridge (Droopy Coleridge) Drew P. Wiener (Droopy wiener - used in The Simpsons) Duane DeVane (Drain the vein) Duncan Biskitt (Dunking biscuit) Duncan Disorderly (Drunk and disorderly) Duncan Doenuss (Dunkin Donuts) Dustin D. Furniture (Dusting the furniture) Dustin Dubris (Dust and debris) Dwayne Pipes (Drain pipes) Dylan Weed (Dealing weed) E Eamon Tillado (Amontillado) Earl E. Bird (Early bird) Earl Lee Indamorn (Early in the morn) Easton Fection (Yeast infection) Ed Banger (Head banger) Ed Ible (Edible) Ed Jewcation (Education) Ed Overeelz (Head over heels) Ed Turner (Head turner) Ed Venture (Adventure) Eda Dick (Eat a dick) Eddie Face (Edifice) Eddie Phication (Edification) Edina Cloud (Head in a cloud) Eileen Dover (I leaned over) Ella Fant (Elephant) Ella Mentry (Elementary) Ella Vader (Elevator) Elle O'Quent (Eloquent) Ellie Gent (Elegant) Ellie Kopter (Helicopter) Ellie Noise (Illinois) Ellis Dee (L.S.D.) Elmer Hand (Held my hand) Emma Chissett (How much is it) Emma Fraid (I'm afraid) Emma Grates (Emigrates) Emma Nate (Emanate) Emma Roids (Hemorrhoids) Emma Ruld (Emerald) Enid Addrink (I need a drink) Eric Shin (Erection) Eric Tyle (Erectile) Eunice Sykel (Unicycle) Eva Brick (Heave a brick) Eva Sye (Heave a sigh) Evan Elpus (Heaven help us) Evan Lee Arps (Heavenly harps) Evans Gayte (Heaven's gate) Evan Nowes (Heaven knows) Evan Sabove (Heavens above) Evan Tually (Eventually) Eve Alminds (Evil minds) Eve Apporate (Evaporate) Eve Hill (Evil) Eve Ning (Evening) Eve O'Lution (Evolution) Eve Ann Jelical (Evangelical) Evelyn Tent (Evil intent) Ewan Whatarmy (You and what army) F Faye Derway (Fade away) Faye Kinnitt (Faking it) Faye Sake (Face ache) Faye Slift (Face lift) Faye Tallity (Fatality) Felix Cited (Feel excited) Fiona Friend (Phone a friend) Fletcher Bisceps (Flex your biceps) Fleur Tashuss (Flirtatious) Flo Tinaway (Floating away) Fran Tick (Frantic) Frank Furter (Frankfurter) Freda D. Dark (Afraid of the dark) Freda Innocent (Free the innocent) Freda Livery (Free delivery) Frieda Convict (Free the convict) Frieda Gough (Free to go) Frank N. Stein (Frankenstein) G Gabe Barr (Gay bar) Gary Oakie (Karaoke) Gene E. Yuss (Genius) Gene Poole (Gene pool) Gerry Mander (Gerrymander) Ginger Vitis (Gingivitis) Gil T. Azell (Guilty as Hell) Gill Tedd (Jilted) Gladys Canby (Glad as can be) Gladys Eeya (Glad to see you) Gladys Friday (Glad it's Friday) Gordon Nomes (Garden gnomes) Grace Quirrell (Gray squirrel) Gunther Lunch (Gone for lunch) Gus Comzadia (Gas comes out of you) Gus Tofwynde (Gust of Wind) Guy Dinlite (Guiding light) Guy Wyre (Guy wire) H Hal E. Luya (Hallelujah) Hal Seyan (Halcyon) Hammond Eggs (Ham and eggs) Hank E. Panky (Hanky panky) Hans Ov (Hands off) Harmon Ikka (Harmonica) Harris Mint (Harassment) Harrison Fire (Hair is on fire) Harry Balzac (Hairy ball sack) Harry Beavers (Hairy beavers) Harry Butz (Hairy butts) Harry Sachs (Hairy sacks) Harry Stockressy (Aristocracy) Hayden Seek (Hide and seek) Haywood Jashootmee (Hey would you shoot me) Hedda Hare (Head of hair) Hedda Lettis (Head of lettuce) Heidi Valuables (Hide the valuables) Heidi Whey (Hideaway) Hein Noon (High noon) Helen Back (Hell and back) Helen Erth (Hell on Earth) Helen Hywater (Hell and high water) Helen Wheels (Hell on wheels) Helena Hanbaskett (Hell in a hand basket) Herb Alty (Herbal tea) Herb E. Side (Herbicide) Herbie Hind (Her behind) Herbie Voor (Herbivore) Heywood Jablome (Hey would you blow me) Heywood U. Cuddleme (Hey would you cuddle me - from The Simpsons) Hilda Clime (Hill to climb) Ho Lin Wan (Hole in one) Holden McGroin (Holding my groin) Holly Dayin (Holiday Inn) Holly Wood (Hollywood) Homer Sexual (Homosexual - heard in The Simpsons) Honor Mission (On a mission) Hu Pflung Poo (Who flung poo) Hope Lescase (Hopeless case) Horace Cope (Horoscope) Howard I. No (How would I know) Howe D. Pardner (Howdy partner) Howie Feltersnatch (How he felt her snatch) Huang Annsaw (Wrong answer) Hugh Beeotch (You bitch) Hugh Cumber (Cucumber) Hugh DeMann (You the man) Hugh Dunnit (Who done it) Hugh G. Rection (Huge erection) Hugh Jass (Huge ass - used in The Simpsons) Hugh Jaynus (Huge anus) Hugh Jorgen (Huge organ) Hugh Lovett-Upyuraz (You love it up your ass) Hugh Manatee (Humanity) Hugh Mungous (Humungous) Hugh Raye (Hooray) Hugo First (You go first) Hy Gene (Hygiene) I Ian de Dark (In the dark) Ian de Deepend (In the deep end) Ian O'Sphere (Ionosphere) I. C. Wiener (Icy wiener - used in The Simpsons and Futurama) I. C. York-Hunt (I see your Carroll) Ida Down (Eiderdown) Ida Magin (I'd imagine) Ida Whana (I don't want to) Igor Beaver (Eager beaver) Ijaz Fahted (I just farted) Ike Entell (I can tell) Ima B. Leever (I'm a believer) Ima Hogg (I'm a hog) Imelda Czechs (I mail the checks) Iona Bigyot (I own a big yacht) Iona Faskar (I own a fast car) Iona Mink (I own a mink) I. P. Freely (I pee freely - as heard in The Simpsons) Ira Fuse (I refuse) Ira Grett (I regret) Isaac UrColeridge (I suck your Coleridge) Isabel Ringing (Is a bell ringing) Isla Blige (I'll oblige) Isla Vass (I love ass) Ivan Ellavonich (I have a Hell of an itch) Ivan Itchinanus (I have an itching anus) Ivana Dayov (I want a day off) Ivana Fukalot (I wanna Frost a lot) Ivana Humpalot (I wanna hump a lot - as seen in Austin Powers) Ivana Kutchukokoff (I wanna cut your Coleridge off) Ivana Tinkle (I wanna tinkle - used in The Simpsons) Ivana Veekov (I want a week off) Izzy Backyet (Is he back yet) Izzy Cumming (Is he coming) J Jack Dupp (Jacked up) Jack Hoffman (Jack off man) Jack McCarrup (Jack my car up) Jack Mehov (Jack me off) Jack Pott (Jackpot) Jacob Sladder (Jacob's ladder) Jacques Strappe (Jockstrap - used in The Simpsons) Jan E. Torr (Janitor) Jan U. Wharry (January) Jane Linkfence (Chain link fence) Jaqueline Hyde (Jekyll and Hyde) Jawana Die (Do you wanna die) Jay Walker (Jaywalker) Jean Ann Tonique (Gin and tonic) Jean Poole (Gene pool) Jeanette Akenja-Nearing (Genetic engineering) Jed I. Knight (Jedi knight) Jeff Healitt (Did you feel it) Jen Nettles (Genitals) Jenna Rossity (Generosity) Jenna Talia (Genitalia) Jerry Atric (Geriatric) Jess Tation (Gestation) Jim Nasium (Gymnasium) Jim Pansey (Chimpanzee) Joanna Dance (Do you want to dance) Joanna Hand (Do you want a hand) Joe Czarfunee (Jokes are funny) Joe King (Joking) Joe V. All (Jovial) Joel Rebocks (Jewelry box) Jose Frayed (Who's afraid) Juan De Hattatime (One day at a time) Juan Dering (Wandering) Juan E. Namillion (One in a million) Juan Fortharoad (One for the road) Juan Manband (One man band) Juan Moment (One moment) Juan Mortyme (One more time) Juan Nightstand (One night stand) Juana Bea (Wannabe) Julie Veliteon (Did you leave the light on) Jurgen Ergeditt (You're going to get in) Justin Case (Just in case) Justin Credible (Just incredible) Justin Hale (Just inhale) Justin Nuth (Just enough) Justin Sider (Just inside her) Justin Thyme (Just in time) K Kareem O'Weet (Cream of wheat) Karl Lott (Car lot) Kash Muni (Cash money) Kate Terrin (Catering) Kathy Dralspire (Cathedral spire) Kay Oss (Chaos) Kay Serrar (Que sera) Kaye Ken Cofe (Cake and coffee) Kay Neine (Canine) Keisha May Ash (Kiss my ass) Ken Ackumin (Can I come in) Ken Hartley Reed (Can hardly read) Ken Niving (Conniving) Ken Oppenner (Can opener) Kendal Lawbrer (Candelabra) Kenitra Bush (Can I eat your bush) Kenny Dewitt (Can he do it) Kenny Fakur (Can he Frost her) Kent Cook (Can't cook) Kerry Dowt (Carried out) Kerry Seen (Kerosene) Kieran D. Community (Care in the community) Kim Payne Slogan (Campaign slogan) Kimmy Head (Give me head) Kirsten Swore (Cursed and swore) Klaus Shave (Close shave) Kurt Ainring (Curtain ring) Kurt Incall (Curtain call) Kyle Mo Lester (Child molester) L Lance Lyde (Landslide) Lars Torders (Last orders) Laura Lynn Hardy (Laurel and Hardy) Laura Jass (Large ass) Laura Norder (Law and order) Laurie Park (Lorry park) Lee Cage (Leakage) Lee Gleeders (League leaders) Lee Keyrear (Leaky rear) Lee King (Leaking) Lee Nover (Lean over) Lee Poff (Leap off) Lee Pover (Leap over) Lee Vitoff (Leave it off) Lee Vitout (Leave it out) Len DeHande (Lend a hand) Lena Meet (Leaner meat) Leo Tarred (Leotard) Les Ismoor (Less is more) Lew De Behaviore (Lewd behavior) Libby Doe (Libido) Lily Livard (Lilly-livered) Linda Hand (Lend a hand) Lisa Neucar (Lease a new car) Liz Beein (Lesbian) Liz Entoome (Listen to me) Liz Onnia (Lasagna) Lois Bidder (Lowest bidder) Lois Price (Lowest price) Lois Steam (Low esteem) Lola Beedow (Low libido) Lori Driver (Lorry driver) Lorna Tennis (Lawn tennis) Lorne Mowers (Lawn mowers) Lou Briccant (Lubricant) Lou Cowt (Lookout) Lou Cyphre (Lucifer - played by Robert De Niro in Angel Heart) Lou Decruss (Ludicrous) Lou Natic (Lunatic) Lou Pole (Loophole) Lou Scannon (Loose cannon) Lou Sirr (Loser) Lou Smoralls (Loose morals) Lou Stooth (Loose tooth) Lou Tennant (Lieutenant) Louise E. Anna (Louisiana) Lowden Clear (Loud and clear) Lucy Lastic (Loose elastic) Luke Adamgo (Look at him go) Luke Admadick (Look at my dick) Luke Atmyass (Look at my ass) Luke Over (Look over) Luna Tick (Lunatic) Lwellan Dowd (You well endowed) Lydia Bin (Lid of your bin) Lyle Ike Adogg (Lie like a dog) Lynn C. Dole (Linseed oil) Lynn Guini (Linguini) Lynn Meabuck (Lend me a buck) M Mabel Syrup (Maple syrup) Madame Crotch (My damn crotch) Maddi Gascar (Madagascar) Madge Ority (Majority) Madka Owdiseez (Mad cow disease) Major Jump (Made you jump) Major Lee Gay (Majorly gay) Major Luke Twice (Made you look twice) Mal Adjusted (Maladjusted) Mal Twiskie (Malt whiskey) Mal Odruss (Malodorous) Malcolm Tent (Malcontent) Mand Lynne (Mandolin) Mandy Lifeboats (Man the lifeboats) Manuel Labor (Manual labor) Marcus Abscent (Mark us absent) Marge Innastraightline (March in a straight line) Marge Noferror (Margin of error) Marian Furlove (Marrying for love) Marian Furmunny (Marrying for money) Marian Haste (Marry in haste) Marion Money (Marrying money) Marius Quick (Marry us quick) Mark Mywords (Mark my words) Mark Smann (Marksman) Mark Z. Spot (Mark the spot) Marsha Dimes (March of Dimes) Marsha Mallow (Marshmallow) Martha Fokker (mother-Froster) Mary Christmas (Merry Christmas) Mary Gold (Marigold) Mary Ott (Marriot) Mary Thonn (Marathon) Mary Torrius (Meritorious) Mary Wana (Marijuana) Master Bating (Masturbating) Matt Ress (Mattress) Matt Schtick (Matchstick) Matt Tromeny (Matrimony) Matt Trustain (Mattress stain) Maude Yuller (Modular) Maureen Clined (More inclined) Maureen Portantly (More importantly) Maureen Tresting (More interesting) Max E. Mumm (Maximum) Max E. Pad (Maxipad) May B. Dunn (May be done) May Elman (Mailman) May I. Tutchem (May I touch them) May O'Nays (Mayonnaise) Maya Buttreeks (My butt reeks - from The Simpsons) Maya Magination (My imagination) Maya Normousbutt (My enormous butt - from The Simpsons) Megan Bacon (Making bacon or egg and bacon) Mel Lowe (Mellow) Mel N. Colly (Melancholy) Mel O'Dramer (Melodrama) Mel Practiss (Malpractice) Mel Tingpot (Melting pot) Melissa Tothis (Ma listen to this) Michael Toris (My clitoris) Michelle Lynn (Michelin) Mick Stubbles (Mixed doubles) Mick Stup (Mixed up) Mick Zupps (Mix ups) Midas Well (Might as well) Mike Hawk (My Coleridge) Mike Hunt (My Carroll) Mike Litteriss (My clitoris) Mike Ockhurts (My Coleridge hurts) Mike Ocksmall (My Coleridge's small) Mike Oxlong (My Coleridge's long) Mike Rohsopht (Microsoft) Mike Rotch (My crotch - from The Simpsons) Mike Rotchburns (My crotch burns) Mike Rowave (Microwave) Mike Rufone (Microphone) Mike Yermindup (Make your mind up) Miles A. Head (Miles ahead) Miles Prower (Miles per hour) Milly Meter (Millimeter) Milly Terry (Military) Minnie Mumwage (Minimum wage) Minnie Skurt (Miniskirt) Minnie Stree (Ministry) Miss Alanius (Miscellaneous) Miss Bea Haven (Misbehaving) Miss L. Tow (Mistletoe) Miss T. Eyes (Misty eyes) Miss Terri Novelle (Mystery novel) Miss U. Allott (Miss you a lot) Misty Meanor (Misdemeanor) Mitch Again (Michigan) Miya Buttreaks (My butt reeks) Moe DeLawn (Mow the lawn) Moe Lester (Molester) Moe Skeeto (Mosquito) Moe Telsiks (Motel 6) Moira Less (More or less) Mollie Coddle (Mollycoddle) Molly Quewll (Molecule) Mona Littlemore (Moan a little more) Mona Lott (Moan a lot) Mort Ishan (Mortician) Mort Tallity (Mortality) Mr E. Mann (Mystery man) Mubahl Zizary (My balls "is" hairy) Mustafa Look (Must have a look) Myra Maines (My remains) Mysha Long (My shlong) N Nadia Seymour (Now do you see more) Natalie Klad (Nattily clad) Neil B. Forme (Kneel before me) Neil Downe (Kneel down) Neil Efare (Nearly there) Neil Sonweels (Meals on wheels) Nesta Vipas (Nest of vipers) Neve Adda (Nevada) Nick L. Andime (Nickel and dime) Nick O'Teen (Nicotine) Nick Ovtime (Nick of time) Nick Rofilia (Necrophilia) Nida Lyte (Need a light) Noah Count (No account) Noah Vale (No avail) Noah Zark (Noah's ark) Nora Bone (Gnaw a bone) Norma Stitz (Enormous tits) O Olav Myfriendsaregay (All of my friends are gay - from The Simpsons) Oliver Bush (I love her bush) Oliver Clothesoff (All of her clothes off - from The Simpsons) Oliver DaPlaz (All over the place) Oliver Sudden (All of a sudden) Ollie Churpuzzi (I'll eat your Poe) Ollie Tabooger (I'll eat a booger - from The Simpsons) Ophelia Pane (I feel your pain) Ophelia Titsoff (I'll feel your tits off) Opie Umsbad (Opium's bad) Orla Nophin (All or nothing) Orson Cart (Horse and cart) Orson Ounds (Horse and hounds) Otto B. Kilt (Ought to be killed) Otto Matik (Automatic) Owen Monie (Owing money) P Paige Turner (Page turner) Pam Purd (Pampered) Pandora Spocks (Pandora's box) Pat Mebutt (Pat my butt) Pat Taytow (Potato) Pat Tranage (Patronage) Patty O'Furniture (Patio furniture) Paul Bearer (Pallbearer) Paul MyColeridge (Pull my Coleridge) Pearl E. Gates (Pearly gates) Penny Foram (Penny for them) Penny Less (Penniless) Penny Sillen (Penicillin) Peppy Roni (Pepperoni) Percy Cute (Persecute) Percy Veer (Persevere) Perry Dice (Paradise) Perry Docks (Paradox) Perry Scope (Periscope) Perry Shute (Parachute) Perry Winckel (Periwinkle) Pete Zahutt (Pizza Hut) Pete Zaria (Pizzeria) Peter Pantz (Peed her pants) Phil Atio (Fellatio) Phil Anders (Philanders) Phil Itafiche (Filet of fish) Phil Maglossop (Fill my glass up) Phil Maweeney (Feel my weenie) Phil McCracken (Fill my crack in) Phil MeBrest (Feel my breast) Phil Mianus (Fill my anus) Phil Officer (Philosopher) Philip Eno (Filipino) Philippa Bucket (Fill up a bucket) Phyllis Sofickle (Philosophical) Phyllis Stein (Philistine) Phyuck Yiu (Frost you) P. I. Staker (Piss-taker) Polly C. Holder (Policy holder) Poppy Cox (PoppyColeridge) Pyuck Meei (Frost me) Q Quimby Ingmeen (Quit being mean) Quinn T. Senshall (Quintessential) Quinton Chingme (Quit touching me) Quinton Plates (Contemplates) R R. Soul (Arsehole) Rachel DeScrimination (Racial discrimination) Randy Holeweigh (Ran the whole way) Ray Deator (Radiator) Ray Kupleeves (Rake up leaves) Ray Ling (Railing) Ray N. Carnation (Reincarnation) Ray Neday (Rainy day) Ray Pugh (Rape you) Ray Scarr (Racecar) Ray Sersharpe (Razor sharp) Ray Sleeder (Race leader) Ray Strack (Racetrack) Reg Oyce (Rejoice) Renee Sance (Renaissance) Rex Cars (Wrecks cars) Rhea Gretabble (Regrettable) Rhoada Hoarse (Rode a horse) Rhoda Camel (Rode a camel) Rhoda Wynner (Rode a winner) Rick Kleiner (Recliner) Rick O'Shea (Ricochet) Rick Ottersheese (Ricotta cheese) Ricky T. Bridge (Rickety bridge) Rip Tile (Reptile) Rita Book (Read a book) Rob O. Flavin (Riboflavin) Robbie Ree (Robbery) Robin Emblind (Robbing them blind) Robyn Banks (Robbing banks) Rocca Vages (Rock of ages) Roland Buter (Roll and butter) Ron A. Muck (Run amok) Ron Devue (Rendezvous) Ron Osserus (Rhinoceros) Rory Motion (Raw emotion) Rosa Teeth (Rows of teeth) Ross Terr (Roster) Ross Trum (Rostrum) Rowan Boate (Rowing boat) Ruben MyColeridge (Rubbing my Coleridge) Ruby Kohn (Rubicon) Rudi Day (Rue the day) Rudi Mentry (Rudimentary) Rudy Nuff (Rude enough) Rufus Leakin (Roof is leaking) Russ Tinayle (Rusty nail) Russell Ingleaves (Rustling leaves) Ruth Tyler (Roof Tiler) S Sabina Pleasure (It's been a pleasure) Sadie Word (Say the word) Sal Ami (Salami) Sal Livver (Saliva) Sal T. Penuz (Salty peanuts or salty penis) Sally Mander (Salamander) Sam Aritan (Samaritan) Sam Manilla (Salmonella) Sam Owser (Samosa) Sam Pull (Sample) Sam Urai (Samurai) Sam Widge (Sandwich) Samson Knight (Samsonite) Sarah Bellam (Cerebellum) Sarah Nader (Serenade her) Sarah Tonin (Serotonin) Sasha Waist (Such a waste) Scott Chansoder (Scotch and soda) Scott Chegg (Scotch egg) Scott Shawn DeRocks (Scotch on the rocks) Seaman Stains (Semen stains) Seelin Phan (Ceiling fan) See Mihn (Semen) Selma Boddy (Sell my body) Sergovia Selv (Sick of yourself) Seth La Pod (Cephalopod) Seymour Asses (See more asses - from Futurama) Seymour Buttz (See more butts - from The Simpsons) Seymour Cox (See more Coleridges) Shanda Lear (Chandelier) Sheeza Freak (She's a freak) Sheila Blidge (She'll oblige) Shelia Mazeyer (She'll amaze you) Sheila Tack (She'll attack) Sheri Cola (Cherry cola) Sherman Wadd Evver (Sure man whatever) Shirley Knott (Surely not) Shirley U. Care (Surely you care) Sid Down (Sit down) Sir Fin Waves (Surfin' waves) Sir John Sands (Surgeon's hands) Sir Kit Breaker (Circuit breaker) Sonia Shew (It's on your shoe) Stacey Rhect (Stays erect) Stan Dandeliver (Stand and deliver) Stan Deasy (Stand easy) Stan Dingproude (Standing proud) Stan Doffich (Standoffish) Stan Dupp (Stand up) Steve Adore (Stevedore) Stu Padasso (Stupid Emerson) Stu Pid (Stupid) Sue Case (Suitcase) Sue Denley (Suddenly) Sue Donim (Pseudonym) Sue E. Side (Suicide) Sue Flay (Souffle) Sue Perrman (Superman) Sue Render (Surrender) Sue Ridge (Sewage) Sum Ting Wong (Something wrong) Sum Yung Gai (Some young guy) Susan Orty-Boyden (Who's a naughty boy then) T Tamara Nethercombs (Tomorrow never comes) Tanya Hide (Tan your hide) Tara Newhall (Tear a new hole) Tate Urchips (Tater chips) Teresa Crowd (Three's a crowd) Teresa Green (Trees are green) Terry Bulsmel (Terrible smell) Terry Cotter (Terracotta) Terry Fie (Terrify) Terry Ryst (Terrorist) Terry Torrie (Territory) Tess Tickle (Testicle) Tia Dropps (Teardrops) Tim Burr (Timber) Tim Lee Intervention (Timely intervention) Tim Panny (Timpani) Tina Beense (Tin of beans) Tina See (Tennessee) Titus Addrum (Tight as a drum) Titus Balzac (Tightest ball sack) Titus Canby (Tight as can be) Titus Zell (Tight as Hell) Toby Hynde (Tow behind) Toby Paidfer (To be paid for) Tom Bowler (Tombola) Tom Martow (Tomato) Torah Hyman (Tore a hymen) Travis Tay (Travesty) Tristan Shout (Twist and shout) Trudy Lite (True delight) Tudick Synsider (Two dicks inside her) Ty Dallwave (Tidal wave) Ty Imup (Tie him up) Ty Priter (Typewriter) Ty Tannick (Titanic) Ty Tass (Tightass) Tyrone Shoes (Tie your own shoes) U Uliqa M'Diq (You lick my dick) Ullee Daway (You lead the way) Ulrika Garlick (You'll reek of garlic) Una Brau (Unibrow - from Austin Powers) Upton O'goode (Up to no good) Ura Snotball (You are a snotball - from The Simpsons) Ustrokeet Islewatch (You stroke it I'll watch) V Val Crow (Velcro) Val Haller (Valhalla) Val Lay (Valet) Vasilly Sonovabich (That silly son of a bitch) Vera Cross (Veer across) Vic Tree (Victory) Vinny Gerr (Vinegar) Viv Atious (Vivacious) Vlad Tire (Flat tire) W Walt Sing (Waltzing) Walter Mellon (Watermelon) Walter Wallcarpet (Wall to wall carpet) Wanda Dorff (Wandered off) Wanda Lottie Wray (Won the lottery) Wanda Phul (Wonderful) Wanda Rinhands (Wandering hands) Warren Peace (War and peace) Warren Tease (Warranties) Wat Apistle (Water pistol) Wayne Dear (Reindeer) Wayne Dwops (Raindrops) Wayne Kerr (Wanker) Wayne Ningmoon (Waning moon) Wendy Windblows (Where the wind blows) Wi Phukem Yung (We Frost them young) Will D. Beest (Wildebeest) Will O'Patten (Willow pattern) Will Ting (Wilting) Will U. Jackmeov (Will you jack me off) Wille Belong (Will he be long) Willie Byter (Willy biter or will he bite her) Willie Gofar (Will he go far) Willie Makeit (Will he make it) Willy O'Wowntey (Will he or won't he) Willy Tert (Will it hurt) Wilma Fingerdoo (Will my finger do) Wilma Leggrowbach (Will my leg grow back) Winnie Bago (Winnebago) Winnie DiPoo (Winnie the Pooh) Woody U. No (What do you know) X Xavier Breff (Save your breath) Xavier Money (Save your money) Xavier Onassis (Save your own asses) Xavier Zelf (Save yourself) Y Yerma Wildo (Your ma will do) Yul B. Allwright (You'll be alright) Yule B. Sorry (You'll be sorry) Z Zeke N. Yeshallfind (Seek and you shall find) Zelda Kowz (Sell the cows) Zoltan Pepper (Salt and pepper)

[justanotherloveaffair]

All That You Can’t Leave Behind [Part 5/14]

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader, T’Challa x Reader

Warnings: Language, pure smut, NSFW

Word Count: 3,712

Summary: Reader is trying to prepare for the trip, until she’s distracted by an unexpected visit from T’Challa.

Author’s Note: It’s the longest chapter so far and also the smuttiest. Enjoy.

Part 1   |   Part 2    |    Part 3    |    Part 4

Your name: Submit (what is this?) 

Taglist: @nah-imjustfeelinit  

Steve left sometime between you falling asleep and morning. Your brain awoke long before the alarm, sleepily coming out from a dream that involved walking through a chopstick forest hand in hand with T’Challa. Not your weirdest dream, but it was up there.

You pulled a pillow between your legs and sighed, allowing yourself a few moments in bed to think about the night before without any distractions. It wasn’t long before you were reaching into your nightstand for your familiar smooth pink vibrator and you let your mind run wild. At first, you were coasting by on reliving the latest memories of Steve, and then a moan came to your lips as your thoughts inserted T’Challa there with you. The images came so vividly after that you could practically hear them as well as see them. Your eyes screwed shut and your hips rocked faster with the vibrator as you imagined yourself being devoured in tandem, first by Steve and then T’Challa and then both of them taking you together. The thought of it turned out to be a magic bullet that blew open one of your most powerful orgasms in months.

You settled back on the bed breathing heavily and turned off the vibrator one-handed, throwing it aside. You marvelled a little at how quickly your little threesome fantasy had gotten you off, and now that you’d conjured this deliciously hot thought, you let your brain revisit it often throughout the morning while you busied yourself with packing.

And what exactly does one pack for a trip to Wakanda? You had hauled out your one mid-sized suitcase, used mostly for visiting family back in Seattle, and it sat empty for hours as you made careful piles around it, none of it that you were yet willing to commit to by actually putting inside the suitcase. Your ignorance about T’Challa’s home made it even hard to pack electronics, as you had to consider voltage, plug in adaptors, wi-fi, to name just a few. And let’s not even talk about clothes. You had a hard enough time picking out three days of outfits to wear on visits to the Pacific Northwest.

When you got too frustrated to pack, you got onto your computer to work out what appointments needed to be rescheduled. You were much more confident doing this task, and you sent out a flurry of “I’m sorry, need to leave town for a family emergency” emails over a cup of coffee.

By noon you were feeling both hungry and ready for a break. You took a quick shower and climbed into faded skinny jeans and a space invaders shirt without bothering to put on a bra, and you were too hungry to care that this corner of New York was going to see you without makeup. Last before closing the door, you pulled your purse and trench coat down from the hook and locked up behind you.

“Bast, aren’t you a sight.”

“T’Challa?” You gasped and heard the clang of your keys hitting the pavement as you dropped them in surprise. You hurriedly bent down to get them and as you stood back up, you slowly, greedily took in the vision of T’Challa, looking like royalty, on your streetcorner holding a plastic bag full of Styrofoam containers. “Wha... what are you doing here?”

He smiled, pleased at your fumbling attempt to talk, raising the bag and lifting his eyebrows. “I thought you might be hungry from packing. I also thought maybe I could get another chopsticks lesson.”

The whole presence of him there was so ridiculously unexpected you had no choice but to go with it. It was shaping up to be one of those moments you’d look back on years later, that day the King of Wakanda showed up at your doorstep with Chinese food.

Your neurons weren’t firing properly and you’re not actually sure what words you answered with, but he started to follow you smiling as you headed back into your building. As you rode the elevator up, you kept shaking your head over and over with visible disbelief which made him laugh.

While you unlocked the door you took a deep breath of the smell of food that was suddenly hitting you strongly in the narrow hallway. “God what did you get? It smells so goodOHHHHH SHIT.”

You froze in the doorway and T’Challa, who had been following closely bumped into your back. Not being able to see past you yet, his concerned voice questioned from behind you, “What is it? Y/N? What’s wrong?”

“I uhhh…” You stared at your pink vibrator still sitting right on your bed, in full view of you both at the door. Your slow-thinking brain failed to come up with a quick solution in the split seconds before T’Challa followed you in. Then, spurred by fear you suddenly sprang into action, taking long strides and nearly tripping on your way to the bed but by the time you reached it to shove the damned thing back into your nightstand, T’Challa was watching the entertainment unfold with delight.

After slamming the cupboard closed, you spun around with your finger in the air ready to scold him for even thinking of using this as arsenal for jokes. But when you had turned around, your heart stopped to find him taking slow, deliberate steps towards you, until he was barely inches away.

His eyes flickered from the cabinet to your face and with a wicked smile he said “Entle, you’re going to need a lot bigger than that to work up to me.”

You lost the capacity for words except for a strained little whine that came out while he looked down at you like you were about to become his next meal. Your heart raced as he leaned towards you. You shrank back a little, the backs of your legs touching the edge of the nightstand, your fingers grasping the wood surface.

T’Challa had closed almost all of the distance between you without actually touching you. The tension mounted with each second as his mouth hovered inches from yours. Aside from the din of city noise, all was silent between you. You’d never wanted any man to touch you so much and when he finally did, you groaned at the simple, explorative movement of his hand slipping over the fabric of your shirt just under your ribs. It had the intended effect of weakening you even more, so when he bent down to touch his lips to yours your legs were nearly shaking.

“Let’s get you out of this,” He breathed on your lips and slid his hands around to remove your jacket. You were standing in the tiny foot of space between your bed and the wall and his body seemed to occupy nearly all of it. The jacket dropped down behind him and he appraised your thin shirt and hard pointed nipples with a hungry look. “That’s better,” he whispered at your mouth before taking you in a kiss that began slowly but deliberately, with his tongue soon inviting yours to join his. Your hands were still rooted in place behind you, almost scared to touch him. T’Challa had no similar hesitation about putting his hands on you. His palms, resting on your sides, soon sought out contact with your skin. He slipped them beneath your shirt and you whimpered on his lips.

The kiss continued with fast growing passion and you could stand to hold back no more. Your hands finally reached for him, starting by resting against his chest, covered in a jacket of silver-and-black embroidery that was far too thick for you to feel his body underneath. Your search for a way under was soon distracted by his fingers that swept upwards to find the curves of your breasts, bare and filling his hands. His approval was made clear with a slight suck of your lip into his mouth and a gentle bite. Your moans started to fill the air as his fingers explored your breasts that fit easily into his big hands. You were impossibly wet and starting to rub your thighs together. Your squirming increased when he tested the sensitivity of your nipples with light flicks from his thumb while you kissed.

His lips broke from yours as he gathered your shirt and lifted the hem up and over your head. The cool air made your skin break out with goosebumps, pulling your nipples tight. “Bast,” he muttered, not missing a single detail. His hands slowly, worshipfully traced up and down your sides; you felt exposed under the intense attention of his eyes.

You took a step towards him with a mission to rebalance the score, after all, it wasn’t fair that you could be half naked while he was fully clothed. After a few seconds of your hands tugging he stopped you. “Here,” he gave you a lopsided smile while he lifted the heavy coat and as he lay it down over your computer chair you wondered briefly at the cost of such a lovely garment. Beneath it was a long silky black shirt with hidden buttons that you wasted no time getting to work on. Your eagerness mounted with each button undone, and down you went until you were able to pull the folds back from his torso and over his broad shoulders to fall down to the growing pile of clothes at your feet.

You passed your eyes over his solidly muscled, perfectly proportioned body, following the view down to where his hips narrowed into his pants. His words from before rushed back and made you feel a little faint that you were going to find out soon enough if he was merely boasting or if he meant it.

T’Challa’s hands swept slowly up your back, tracing along your spine before making gentle fists in your hair to guide you back towards him. Your body made contact with his just as your lips came together, and a shared sound of pleasure mingled in your mouths at the intimate feeling of your skin finally pressed against his.

There was a clanging sound of the lamp hitting the wall as T’Challa had you backed up where there was no more room to go. At the sound, he pulled away from the kiss, glanced at you and whispered, with a tiny sideways nod of his head, “the bed.”

Yes my King.

You climbed onto the bed on your knees, then turned to face him. What awaited you was the sight of him undoing his pants, while his eyes dared yours to stay focused on his as the pants fell tantalizingly down, past black boxer briefs and he gracefully stepped out of the clothes and towards the bed.

T’Challa’s expression was one of dominance as his fingers closed tightly around the button of your jeans, which he pulled ever so slightly towards him. When he spoke, there was an authoritative roughness around the edge of his voice. “Your turn. Jeans and underwear. I want you naked for me.”

His eyes flicked down to your hands with intense concentration, expectantly waiting for you to strip. You felt nervous, heart-pumping adrenaline run through you as you undid the button and zipper to your jeans and you pushed the waistband down, taking only the jeans down to your knees. T’Challa reached out to touch your chin with one finger and lifted your eyes up to his. “Uh-uh. All of it. Off.”

Shit, where had this T’Challa been hiding?

Your thumbs slipped beneath the waistband and peeled down the nearly soaked through underwear, with a clearly visible pool of your excitement for his inspection as you tugged them down your legs. You heard him faintly hiss from behind clenched teeth, “Good.” You finished pulling your jeans and underwear down your legs, and now the scales were out of balance again and he was unfairly covered while you kneeled in front of him without anything to hide.

A moment later you felt his bare thigh press between yours, forcing you back to make room for him and the mattress sank and creaked under your weight. It didn’t escape his notice when you pressed yourself against his muscular thigh, nearly in agony now with the need to rub against something. “Don’t worry, I’m going to take good care of you,” he breathed at your ear. “You’re just going to have to be patient.”

You hummed a strangled protest. He had way too much of the upper hand here which normally you enjoyed, but right now you just wanted him to split you in half. You decided it was time to turn the tables a little. While you were both still kneeling upright in the middle of the bed, your fingers slid into his waistband where you found him, hard and thickly filling your hand. You savoured the noise he made at your touch and soon, he thrust helplessly against your hand while you moved up and down the length of him, tracing the ridges and veins, and you realized with a tightening in your stomach he wasn’t kidding about his size.

You released him so that you could work at pushing down his boxers, and he hurried to help himself out of them. While he bent to toss them away your eyes dropped to take in the vision of this perfect man, so hard and visibly wanting you. The sight of the whole of him from his broad shoulders to his chest, his narrow waist down to his perfect cock made you want to pray to all of the gods for blessing you with the gift you were undeservedly receiving.

When T’Challa returned to you, he cupped your cheeks and kissed your lips softly. “You’re perfect,” you said earnestly. He smiled and continued to kiss you slowly. You let your hands wander down his body and once rested again on his shaft. His hips jerked and he let out a sexy moan on your lips. You continued with the pure enjoyment of bringing him pleasure, and you were grateful he was a man not afraid to make his pleasure known out loud. His leaking precome became a lubricant that you gathered with your thumb and rubbed all the way up and down from tip to base. The more you felt his fullness in your hand the hotter you got thinking about taking it inside of you.

He soon sighed, his brow furrowed with tension, “Please, stop.” When you let go, his cock rested warm and heavy against your stomach. T’Challa’s hand moved up your body, first to squeeze your breast and then to your hair that he yanked back slightly to free your neck to his lips, tongue and teeth. His other hand pushed your knees to force them apart and when you made room, he slowly, teasingly swept his fingers up and down your thighs that were already damp. Finally he touched his fingers lightly to your pussy, moving a fingertip just barely up and down your folds in a drawn-out teasing touch that had you gasping. You felt ready enough to burst and yet he kept you on edge like an exposed nerve. While one hand teased you the other remained a fist in your hair, pulling just enough to remind you of his power. “My sweet girl, you are so wet. Have you been thinking about this?”

“Yes,” you groaned. “Since I first saw you.” Your honesty was rewarded with one finger sinking deep inside. “Fuck T’Challa…”

He groaned, his teeth at your neck and he bit down hard enough to leave a mark. “Say my name again.”

“T’Challa…” you whimpered. He pushed another finger inside and you put your arms around his shoulders to hold yourself still while his fingers fucked you. You could tell by how easily they slipped in and out that you were beyond ready; you had soaked his fingers that you were now bouncing up and down on. You were just getting the right angle to build towards the relief you needed when he pulled his hand away.

“Lay back,” he whispered. Your legs were shaking as you laid down on the unmade sheets and pillows, which felt cool against your body. He placed a hand on each thigh that parted naturally for him. Looking down your body, you lustily took in the sight of him on his knees before you.

When you were in place, T’Challa’s hand left your thigh to take himself by the base and you both watched as he touched the tip of his cock to your folds. With immense focus and control he began to rub the head slowly and torturously up and down while your wetness coated him at each pass, making his cock glisten.

“You think you are ready?” he asked, continuing to slide his cock along your surface.

“T’Challa please… I was ready fucking yesterday,” you whined.

“Mm…. we will see.” He then sank the head and first few inches inside causing you to gasp. Your hands shot out to his hips instinctively making him still. While you closed your eyes to concentrate on the stretching feeling, he watched you carefully, taking great care not to push you past your limit. He withdrew all the way, slowly circling the head over your clit for a moment until you were begging him to enter you again. His restraint was incredible as he repeated this several times, until you were taking a little more each time and finally had stretched enough for him to fill you completely.

When he finally settled his hips to allow you a moment to just feel each other, your hands moved up his arms and pulled to bring him down to you. Your hands could now access his strong back and you took full advantage to roam and lightly scratch his skin. “Fuck you feel good, so good…” you groaned.

T’Challa turned his head to claim your lips and as you began to kiss, his hips pulled back, drawing out before he sank back in slowly. You moaned and dug your heels into him and pressed your hands onto his ass to make him repeat the movement, again and again. He started fucking you slowly and gently, pulling his cock out halfway each time before firmly connecting his hips with yours.

He broke off from the kiss in order to lavish attention on your neck and ear. “Tell me what you like sweetheart,” he whispered, “Tell me how you want to be fucked.”

“Fuck me hard T’Challa. Please,” you groaned and nibbled his full lips for maximum impact. “Fuck me like I belong to you.”

T’Challa slowed his gentle, soft movements and you were lifted up against the wall by his strong arms and held there for a hard, punishing series of thrusts. You screamed his name with your arms wrapped tightly around his neck. His hands held your hips in a vice like grip while he pulled you against him to penetrate you as deeply as he could. You felt yourself getting closer and he did too. He began speaking harshly into your ear and the more he spoke, the louder your moans became. “You belong to me Y/N, you are mine. Your pussy. Belongs. To. Me. Say it,” he ordered, his thrusts not slowing for even a moment. “I’m yours T’Challa…. I’m.. Oh fuuuck!” you held him tightly as you started to come in a sudden flood of pleasure and vaguely heard him whispering words of praise. He continued to hold you tight against the wall, fucking you rapidly and finally, you felt the warm spread of his come inside you and a loud, sexy groan signalled his sudden relief.

Exhausted, you continued to cling to him as he guided you both down to the bed where you laid still to catch your breath. You were in a haze of disbelief at how hard he’d made you come. I’m yours, T’Challa you had cried. Whether it was true or not, you knew that you wanted this to happen again and again.

After you laid there catching your breath, your stomach made an embarrassingly loud noise and you both laughed. “Oh right… the food. Lunch. The whole reason you’re here.”

“If I’m telling the truth,” T’Challa propped himself up on his side, “That wasn’t the real reason I came here.” 

“Oh right, the chopsticks lesson. That was the real reason, was it?” you teased.

He laughed and pulled you underneath him so he could kiss you fully. “Yes, that must have been it. Not at all because I have not stopped thinking about you.”

“I’m so glad you came.”

You meant to be sincere but as soon as the words left your mouth, you bit your lip to hold back a snort of laughter but it was too late to recover and you both started cracking up. When he recovered himself, he winked at you, “I’m glad I did too. Seems like you did as well.”

You crawled back onto him and pressed a kiss down on his smiling face while wiggling your hips slightly. “Oh, I think the whole neighbourhood knows I came.”

“Good, I want them to know. I did claim you after all. You are mine, now.” He kissed the tip of your nose.

“Yes, my King.” you responded obediently and he began tickling your sides until you started to giggle uncontrollably. Once again, your stomach noisily complained for food with another loud grumble.

“Shall we eat?”

“Yes, my King.”

“Stop that,” he swatted your backside as you began crawling over towards the bag of Chinese food.

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Vantrue N2S Review: Not Just For Uber Drivers

Vantrue N2S

8.00 / 10

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The Vantrue OnDash N2S represents good value for money, an internal cabin view that could prove very useful if the worst were to happen, great image quality, and a surprising amount of recorded data with an impressive desktop app to view it.

Specifications

Number of Cameras: 2

Front Camera Resolution: Up to 4K, but max 1440p in dual-camera mode

Field of View: 155 front, 165 cabin

Emergency Power: No battery

Brand: Vantrue

Pros

Discreet design and unobtrusive features

Superb cabin recordings night or day

Built-in GPS and gyroscopic data recording

Cons

Hardwire kit to use parking mode is not included

Vantrue microSD card recommended, but not included

No Wi-Fi or smartphone app connectivity

Buy This Product

Vantrue N2S amazon

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The Vantrue N2S doesn't just record the road: it records you, too. But while it also features built-in GPS and gyroscopic data, it lacks smartphone connectivity or any AI smarts. It' so discreet and unobtrusive that you'll barely know it's there. And that's a good thing.

The Vantrue N2S ticks all the boxes as basic, but great dashcam—and at an entirely affordable price point of around $200. If you want something with great image quality that'll record the road and cabin too, and not much else—leaving you to concentrate on driving—it's a sensible choice.

Installation

Inside the box, you won't find a lot of fancy accessories. It's just a barebones main camera body, which is quite small, a suction mount with GPS antenna, a long USB car port cable, and USB-C data cable.

Should you wish to hide the cabling, it's ample enough to be tucked in around the trim.

The camera itself is very discreet, with the classic Vantrue N series design of a hexagonal profiled cylinder. On the right-hand side sits the internal camera, which can be angled up or down appropriately. The main camera position is fixed at the center-front.

The entire camera body is clipped onto the GPS suction mount via a proprietary clip, which means it can be easily removed to extract footage. The suction mount also features a ball joint for repositioning and is simple to secure leaving no trace of sticky residue. The only thing to be careful of is that a large GPS antenna protrudes from the base of the mount, and this must be rotated clockwise in order to lock the suction pad. If you place it too close to your rearview mirror, you won't be able to lock it.

Setting up the device is simple enough, thanks to an easy menu system and four buttons to navigate. There's also an illuminated emergency button on the left of the viewscreen, which you can press to lock footage. A G-sensor should also lock footage if a collision is detected, though I'd quite like my car to remain intact, so I didn't get to test this.

Vantrue insists that you don't use a Transcend or Sandisk branded card, for some inexplicable reason. Conveniently, Vantrue sells its own brand of suitable microSD cards, but one is not included in the package and must be purchased separately.

For what it's worth, I tested exclusively with a class 10 Sandisk card, and haven't had any issues yet (after a few weeks). That said, I haven't driven enough to fill the disk yet either. Like most dashcams, the Vantrue N2S records in five-minutes chunks and deletes old footage as the drive fills up, unless it's been specifically marked for saving (which are moved to a separate folder). It could be that I'll run into problems once the card fills up.

No Battery, Optional Parking Mode

Although the Vantrue N2S can record parking events, either triggered by the shock sensor or motion detection, it's worth noting that there is no internal battery. The carport adaptor supplied in the package will lose power when your car is off, and the supercapacitors inside the N2S hold just enough charge to shut down the camera and save the footage.

Therefore, if you want to record events while parked, you'll need to either power the N2s via a separate battery pack, or purchase the optional OBD2 port hardwire kit (for around $20). Any standard USB battery should suffice, but none the less this is an extra step that you might not want to be bothered with. After all, the best dashcam is one you can forget about entirely. If parked recordings are important to you, the optional hardwire kit is essential.

The upshot however of using supercapacitors rather than a battery is greater resistance to cold and heat. Even in moderate climates like the UK, where temperatures above 85°F are basically a national emergency, the inside of a car is enough to explode lithium-ion batteries. You should be wary of any dashcam that has an internal battery. Vanture claims the N2S can operate safely in temperatures from 14 to 158°F.

Recording the Road, and You

With the Vantrue OnDash N2S you can opt to either record 4K 25fps front only, or dual 1440p 30fps. Those are saved as separate files rather than automatically overlaid on top of each other.

The front camera uses a Sony IMX335 sensor, producing crisp video with number plates that are easy to read. It also has a wide dynamic range (WDR) color profile to avoid over or underexposure, resulting in clear video regardless of the time of day.

If the sample video grabs look a little drab, I apologize on behalf of England. I assure you this is, in fact, a color camera, but it's the grey season at the moment and I haven't seen the sun in months.

I didn't test the N2S using front-only 4K camera mode, for the simple reason that if you're going to specifically purchase a dual-camera dashcam, intentionally disabling one of those cameras is wasteful. If you don't want to use the cabin camera, other devices would be more suitable for you.

The night-time shot from the front camera example doesn't initially seem all that impressive, but bear in mind this was using only the low beam headlights in a protected dark sky area around Bodmin Moor. The areas that are illuminated have good detail. In a built-up city environment, you would have no issues with the visibility of recordings.

The internal camera, utilizing an f1.8 lens and Sony Starvis sensor, also features 4 infra-red LEDs. This allows it to clearly record the cabin at night, too. Both the front and back sensors are wide-angle: 165-degrees internally, and 155-degrees on the front.

While this kind of dual-camera system can offer safety benefits to those running a private taxi service, it's not without use for the rest of us regular drivers, too. And I don't just mean for carpool karaoke videos.

During an insurance claim, the more evidence you have that you weren't at fault, the better.

It's common for the other driver to claim you were distracted—looking at your phone, or not checking before you turned. Without that internal footage, it's your word against theirs. The internal footage can also offer some insight into events that don't happen directly in front of you, like side collisions or rear bumps.

  Viewing the Footage

This is perhaps one area that will be a deal-breaker for heavy road users: there is no Wi-Fi connectivity, nor there is a smartphone app to view and upload footage to social platforms. If you're the sort of person that likes to expose bad drivers quickly to YouTube or the local Facebook group, this isn't the camera for you.

To view the footage, you'll need to remove the microSD card and read it in a suitable adaptor, or unclip the main camera body and use the supplied USB-C data cable.

That said, Vantrue does offer a desktop app called Dashcam Player that gives a comprehensive overview of all the recorded data. After loading the footage, you can view all recorded angles at once (including the optional rear camera), a map of the route, as well as speed and accelerometer/gyroscopic measurements. This allows you to quickly pinpoint the incident, and crucially records how erratically you were driving at the time leading up to it.

Is the Vantrue OnDash N2s Right for You?

A dashcam should not be vying for your attention with advanced AI features and warning systems. It should sit there, record the road, and be quiet about it. The Vantrue N2s does that, then throws in cabin recording and GPS data too.

What it doesn't have is a mobile app. If that's essential to you, then you should look elsewhere. Also factor in the cost of a hardwiring kit, if you want to use the parking features.

But for most people, the Vantrue OnDash N2S represents good value for money, an internal cabin view that could prove very useful if the worst were to happen, great image quality, and a surprising amount of recorded data with an impressive desktop app to view it.

  Vantrue N2S Review: Not Just For Uber Drivers published first on http://droneseco.tumblr.com/

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[tripstations]

12 things that aren’t worth spending your money on

Business class is wonderful, but is it worth the money? Photo: SHUTTERSTOCK

The more you spend, the more you get. That’s how the world should work, particularly in travel. The more money you spend, the more you get out of your experience. The more you enjoy yourself. The better time you have.

Unfortunately that’s not always the case. While some travel luxuries are definitely worth the money you spend on them, plenty of others are not. These aren’t rip-offs or scams – they’re simply indulgences or added extras that are supposed to make your travelling life more enjoyable.

But they’re not worth it. For travellers looking to save a few bucks, these are the luxuries you can easily afford to miss out on.

Travel clothing

You don’t need travel clothing. Unless you’re participating in a specialist activity, something like hiking or cycling or mountain-climbing, there’s really no need for branded gear that comes from a travel store. Just wear the clothes you always wear: you’ll fit in much better, and you’ll save plenty of money.

Multi-lounge access passes

I’ve looked into a few of these passes, given I travel so often and I’m not a gold or platinum frequent flyer with any airline, and they just don’t seem worth the money. Here’s the deal: you pay membership, you get a card, and you get access to a certain number of participating airline lounges around the world. The thing is, with most memberships you’ll still have to pay per entry into the lounges, plus those lounges are nowhere near as luxurious as you’re probably picturing, and pass holders will be the first to be knocked back if they’re getting too busy.

Bottled water

Photo: AP

Filtered, clean water sold in sealed bottles is a necessity in some countries. But in plenty of others it’s not. You can drink tap water, the same as you do at home – there’s no need to shell out $4 a pop for stuff that’s been put in a bottle. You’ll save money by avoiding an unnecessary cost, and save the planet by reducing single-use plastics.

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Rental car insurance

Every. Single. Time. Doesn’t matter what you choose on the website when you book, when you get to the counter to pick up your hire care you’ll be upsold on the insurance. Do you want comprehensive insurance, they’ll ask? With zero excess? It sounds tempting, but if you have travel insurance already, or insurance provided by your credit card company, you’re probably already covered. No need to be insured twice.

The finest dining

I’ve changed my tune on this. I used to think that to sample the best food in the world, it was worth shelling out an insane amount of money every now and then. I thought you could justify spending up to $1000 on a meal if you really love food and you don’t do it often. But… really? Is any single meal worth that much? Is the experience that much better than a $200 meal, or even a $500 meal? Or is this all just a bit obscene?

See also: Why I spent a ridiculous amount of money on one meal

Business class

I’ve been lucky to fly business class a few times, and it’s a total game-changer. Everything is easier, from check-in to security to boarding to the flight itself. People address you by name. There’s a bar to hang out at when you’re bored. I’ve absolutely loved those experiences. However, could I justify paying for business class? Would I consider spending five or six times the economy fare just to fly in comfort? No.

Bellhop service

Photo: SHUTTERSTOCK

It doesn’t cost a lot to have a friendly bellhop drag your wheelie luggage up to your hotel room – maybe only a few dollars. But still, you have wheelie luggage. It’s not really necessary to have someone else drag it.

Choosing your seat

If you’re travelling with your family, paying extra to choose your seat when you book an air ticket is annoying, but necessary. If you’re travelling with a loved one or a friend you really want to sit next to on a flight that’s likely to be crowded, it’s also something you’ll just have to do. However, for those travelling alone, particularly on short-haul flights (I’ll pay to ensure I have an aisle for long-haul), paying extra to choose your seat is just not worth it.

Excess baggage

Anyone who’s looked into the cost of dragging a few extra kilos of check-in luggage along with them would already know how prohibitively expensive the fees are. It’s cheaper to send your goods by air freight and meet them at your destination than pay to take them on board.

City tours

Photo: SHUTTERSTOCK

Some travellers love city tours, and to those people I say: fair enough. To each their own. But these tours don’t appeal to me. I don’t feel much of a sense of discovery when I have someone to lead me around a place, to point out the monuments and the interesting buildings and the sights to check out later. I like to wander. I like to stumble on things. I like to take my time. You’re never able to do that with a guide on a day-tour.

Data roaming

Just… don’t do it. Buy a local SIM card, if they’re readily available, or rely on free Wi-Fi in hotels, bars and restaurants if they’re not. Spending up big bucks on data roaming just so you can google things or check your Instagram in far-off places isn’t worth it.

Emergency airport purchases

This is never a good idea. It doesn’t matter how much you think you need that eye mask or that power adaptor or that bottle of water, you don’t want to buy it at the airport. Save your money.

What are the travel experiences you think are not worth the money? Are there any of these that you would gladly pay for?

Email: b.groundwater@traveller.com.au

Instagram: instagram.com/bengroundwater

See also: The 10 common mistakes we make when booking flights

See also: The rip-off that’s catching out travellers all over the world

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[daleisgreat]

Dale’s Top 21 Videogame Experiences of 2017

Howdy, everyone! Welcome to my first blog of 2018, and what better way to kick it off than reflecting back on my top gaming experiences of 2017! I had a blast with my top 11 gaming experiences blog from last year, which was really more like 30-40 moments condensed down to 11 entries. I did a similar thing for this year, but for a whopping 21 entries instead. That is nearly double the fun! Just be forewarned, this is a doozy of a read, so without further ado, let us get onto the list! 21) End-Label-Fever

My buddy Matt introduced me to unofficial N64 end labels that were available online. I became immediately envious and ordered the complete set off Etsy and promptly applied them to all my games. I am still befuddled to why Nintendo never had them to begin with. 20) Quantities are Limited! I ordered several games from Limited Run throughout 2017. If you are unfamiliar with Limited Run, they publish physical versions of former digital-only PS4/Vita games, but true to their name in small print runs that you have usually only several minutes to order online as soon as they are available or you are out of luck. Thankfully I had no problem getting my orders in on them and I was stoked to get the physical versions of games I was super into such as Oxenfree, Firewatch, Windjammers and Read Only Memories. 19) A Certain NES Guide Book

Past few years I have gotten into YouTuber Pat Contri’s work a bit. I first found out about him on an AVGN guest spot, and have been keeping up with his podcasts and videos since. A couple years ago he released a mammoth tome dubbed The Ultimate Guide to the NES Library and as the title eludes it tries to be the ultimate guide by reviewing every American, Europe and Australlian release for the NES and have a bunch of bonus columns and features to round it off. I try to read two-to-four reviews before bed at least a few days a week and I have been doing that for just over a year now. I have found out about a ton of NES games I have never heard of before or knew very little of, plus it was interesting to find out their takes on the games I grew up on. This has lead to me tracking down a few NES games throughout the year such as Roundball, Crystalis and Indy Heat to name a few. I still have a ways to go and am only up through Rolling Thunder on the reviews as of this writing. 18) Mmmmm….Pie The last couple years I have been hearing a lot of buzz about all-in-one emulator machines known as RetroPies. Questionable legalities of the device aside, they have risen in popularity this past year and I inevitably stumbled into playing a couple variations of it at various places throughout the year. One person had a custom arcade cabinet with it installed and we tore it up playing countless arcade fighters and brawlers on it. Another time another friend and I went out of our way to search for obscure versions of Street Fighter ports and had a decent time experiencing the original Street Fighter and surprisingly decent versions of Street Fighter Alpha on the GameBoy Color and Street Fighter Alpha 2 on the SNES. I told one friend my joy last year experiencing the import-only arcade release of Ring of Destruction, and sure enough we found it and slaughtered each other for quite a bit on it. The best RetroPie moment was finding an English-patched version of Super FirePro Wrestling Premium on SNES and the worst was when playing a RetroPie for the first time for whatever reason the first game of the several thousand available on it I decided to play was Shaq-Fu, a game I already own…two copies of…don’t ask. 18) The Return of Bimmy & Jimmy!

I was surprised with the out of nowhere announcement and quick release of Double Dragon IV at the beginning of the year. I am presuming the 16-bit Super Double Dragon is no longer cannon. Got a chance to play it with Matt shortly after its release and I loved how it captured the NES feel of the classic 8-bit brawlers and we had a good time with it until we hit one of the final levels. That level was filled with mazes of mind-boggling auto-scrolling ramps and pillars that pop down from out of nowhere and instantly kill you much in the same vein as that godawful N64 Sub-Zero game, but worse! It was an instant turn-off to an otherwise fine co-op brawler. Limited Run had a nice collector’s edition of it up for sale recently but those memories of those nasty pillars and ramp sequences convinced me to stay away. 17) Now You’re Playing With Super Power! I loved the NES Classic in 2016 and in 2017 I had to make sure to line up in stores a couple hours ahead of opening to procure the inevitable SNES Classic. While it has nine less games compared to the NES Classic, the quality and scope of those 21 SNES games is far greater than the ones featured on NES Classic. Finally experiencing the previously unreleased StarFox 2 was a treat and I made sure to first play the first game I owned for my SNES 20 years earlier in Street Fighter 2: Turbo. Me and my friends Derek and Ryan had a ball taking turns to see how far we could last in the unbelievably-hard Super Ghouls ‘n Ghosts (it was not all that far). A couple months later I got my brother one for his birthday and we spent many hours failing to make significant progress in the brutally-tough-yet-super-fun Contra 3. I believe we only got to the third level. One day we shall conquer it, and one day I will sit down and take the time to get through EarthBound! 16) Them Damn YouTubers!

I mentioned YouTuber Pat Contri earlier and I think 2017 has become the year where I routinely started to follow several YouTube videogame personalities. Before I primarily stuck with the crew at GiantBomb for most of my online gaming-related videos and still do for most of them, but I like mixing in a little variety from several other YouTubers. I will give a shout out to Pat Contri again for his many podcast excerpts that entertain me, as well as James Rolfe and his Cinemassacre crew for the always-excellent AVGN videos and let’s play streams he posts with his co-host Mike Matei. Gaming Pick-ups and hidden gem list rundowns sound kind of blah on paper, but the man known as ‘Metal Jesus’ and his wide array of mostly likeable guest hosts find a way to make them entertaining and I cannot help but watch nearly every video he posts on his channel. I have been following Jeremy Parish’s writing and Retronauts podcasts for well over a decade and have been a huge fan of his Works line of YouTube videos chronicling countless GameBoy, NES and SNES games. They are exhaustively researched and well-produced and filled with tons of facts and behind-the-scenes info that your average online review likely would not have. Finally I will give a shoutout to two more retro-themed gaming channels, The Gaming Historian and Classic Gaming Quarterly. Both YouTubers do deep dives into gaming’s past and put a lot of work into their videos and as a result they do not have as frequent videos as other channels, but their quality makes up for the quantity. I am beyond belief, but my hat is off to the host of CGQ for making his ‘Let’s Read’ videos where he highlights and notates tidbits from his favorite articles of old-school gaming magazines and somehow makes them must-see material! 15) I AM TUROK! Last year I mentioned how I got a Retron 5, a handy device that allows you to play several retro game system’s cartridges on an HDTV with clean visuals like how I remember them instead of the dreadful fuzziness you get when hooking up old-school systems on HDTVs with the older composite cables that came with the system. I finally finished my first game using the system in 2017, and the game that got that honor was the long forgotten GameBoy….gem….Turok: Battle of the Bionasaurs. It came out alongside the more popular N64 game and was a simple 2D side-scrolling action/platformer game. If you are wondering why that random GameBoy game it is because I spent several summers on a farm with nothing but a GameBoy growing up so these no-frills basic platformers resonate with me in a unique way.

The Retron has the ability to download an exhaustive vault of Game Genie/Action Replay codes onto an SD card from their website and that came in handy here or else I stood no chance of beating this game. Even though the infinite health made dealing with enemies a breeze, the limitations of the GameBoy’s screen made platforming a bit of a hurdle than I intended so I still died plenty of times, and if it was not for taking advantage of Retron 5’s save-state feature I definitely would not have finished it. I have all the other Turok games on GB (there are five of them!) and eventually would like to get through most of them as these simple watered-down GB conversions are nice little pallet-cleansers to start off a gaming session. Speaking of the Retron 5, Hyperkin released an adaptor for it this year allowing it to play Master System and Game Gear games. I picked it up, but kind of regretted it afterwards as it took a few hoops of downloading and applying updates/patches from Hyperkin’s website in a particular way until a couple hours of trial-and-error got it to finally work. I do not believe the effort was worth it though because I have no Master System games and only six or seven Game Gear games. I did make sure to play quite a bit of Game Gear Road Rash immediately afterwards for my troubles. Hey….if I were to track down just five Master System games what would you recommend? Tweet me your picks! 14) The Year of VR….No, Not That VR

I keep hearing about how Playstation VR, Oculus and HTC’s virtual reality sets that came out over the last couple of years have legitimized VR and brought it up to par with core console based gaming. However, I am just not seeing it. The price point is the primary deal breaker for me, and then factoring in the space factor for all the cables and some games that require you to move around is another major deal-breaker too. This past year saw some AAA console games get their full single player mode available in VR like Resident Evil 7 and Skyrim that I would not mind checking out one day, but most of what I see that is playable out there seem like decent little mini-games and shooting gallery variants, but not worth the barriers to invest into a proper VR setup. If you have it and enjoy it, that’s awesome, but I simply cannot justify crossing that line. That said, I still have the original VR monstrosity that is the Virtual Boy and 2017 was THE year it became active again! I was missing the AC power adaptor hub for my Virtual Boy that I misplaced long ago, and I searched for them on eBay and they were surprisingly affordable there, as was a replacement tripod for the Virtual Boy. I also picked up a few more VB ‘gems’ such as Virtual League Baseball, TeleroBoxer, Galactic Pinball, Vertical Force and Wario Land to increase my mammoth VB library to nine games (that is more than half of its complete library, seriously!). I tried a few of them out and was surprised at my lack of TeleroBoxer skills that I need some severe practice at. VB does have a fine pinball game though and I would like to set aside time to finish Wario Land one day because it is one of the few legit quality games on the platform. Suffice it to say, the good ‘ol Virtual Boy will likely be my sole VR system for the forseeable future. 13) Pinball Gaming Love

Like last year, I played a healthy chunk of pinball games. This year it was primarily Zen Pinball 2 and I kept up with its final round of new tables and tried my best to attain each table’s trophy/achievement. I probably put way too much time trying to get that pesky Rogue One trophy. I put in some time into Pinball Arcade and Hyperspace Pinball, but not nearly as much as last year. I really need to put more time into the former because I just got caught up acquiring its latest season of tables and have yet to try any of them out. It is a shame that unlike the Zen tables, purchasing Pinball Arcade tables on PS3 does not carry over to the PS4 version so I am stuck playing them on PS3. I did do the upgrade a few months ago from Pinball FX2/Zen Pinball 2 to Pinball FX3 and am still coming around to it. Zen thankfully allows my PS3 purchased tables to carry over into the PS4 version! I think I am finally getting use to PFX3’s new unlockable upgrades system, but there seems to be a bit too much optional mini-modes available in order to ‘master’ each table. I will give Zen props for making their latest two tables free in honor of the 10 year anniversary of the first Pinball FX. I imagine I will conform to its various new extras and features soon enough, but not as quickly as I thought. 12) Twin Cities Gaming – Part Two

Last year I mentioned how I went to the Twin Cities to visit a couple friends where we engaged in all sorts of gaming awesomeness, and I continued the trend again this year. I first visited my friend Tyler and while checking out the Mall of America we caught a glimpse of this VR Arcade/theme park there that had all kinds of ambitious sets rigged up. We did not test any out, but just surveyed the area to get a good idea of how to plan out a day there next time we return. We did stop in one of the other traditional arcades in the Mall of America however where I finally discovered in the wild one of the Mario Kart GP games that Namco develops. There have been a few iterations of these over the past decade and I believe the version we played was Mario Kart Arcade GP DX. The version we played had a sweet two-player setup that held its own with the latest home versions, and I was delighted to see it bring back some of the two-player co-op features not seen in the series since Double Dash. I made another trip to the awesome Up/Down Arcade with my friend Dick while I was in the Cities and I was thrilled to see they had just as many awesome 80s and 90s arcade units there as it had last year. We also checked out a pinball bar called Tilt Pinball Bar. It was much smaller compared to Up/Down, but still contained everything I wanted out of such an establishment with a good variety of around 25-30 tables from all eras. We spent a good couple hours there competing for high scores while enjoying a brew and I finally got a chance to play the authentic versions of tables I put countless hours into their digital versions in Pinball Arcade with tables like Champion Pub being a thrill to finally play in reality! 11) First Rule of Fight Club… I have neglected online multiplayer on Playstation since Sony started charging for it on PS4. A couple months ago I relented and picked up a three month card because of my friend Chris who I use to semi-regularly play online PS3 fighting games with. Since I activated the subscription we played on three out of four Saturday mornings and had some great sessions in a variety of fighting games. Neither of us are EVO-quality vets by any means, but we kind of have a vague idea of what we are doing out there and are both along the same skill level. We played a ton of Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite, Street Fighter V and Injustice 2. I dug all three games, and Chris and I talked a lot of friendly smack while we mashed away on buttons relentlessly. 10) Reviewing my first game since 2011…kind of

I adored the first two Syberia games that hit PC/Xbox in 2003/04. I loved their story, atmosphere, cast and writing. While its adventure-genre standard puzzles it featured had me referencing guides online, I did not mind because I had to see what was next for the affable heroine, Kate Walker. I somehow missed the announcements leading up to the third game and was surprised to see it on shelves one day early in the year and I immediately grabbed it without question. That turned out to be a mistake because Syberia 3 is a near-unplayable mess filled with countless glitches and bugs that were previously not part of the franchise’s pedigree. I have no idea how this got the stamp of approval for release. I saw Syberia 3 went on to have more patches and updates after I finished it so hopefully it is not as much of a hot mess as it was when I played it during its first week of release. I wrote a lengthy post chronicling my troubles with the game on a forum I frequent online. Once I realized I rambled on for a quite a bit about the game that it nearly resembled a review, I tweaked a few spots in the original post and made a couple other minor addendums to cover most of the bases of the game. I then submitted it with the lowest score possible to my GameFAQs profile (I am not a fan of how they converted to its five hearts rating system). I have not done a video game review in several years since I switched to focus on reviewing movies on this blog. That said, if you want to see a more detailed account of my disappointment with Syberia 3, then click here to see my first video game review since 2011. 9) Beating my first Mega Man game at Extra Life!!! On my top gaming moments blog last year I recounted how Mega Man 2 became the first game in the series I put serious play time into by beating three stages in it during the annual 24-hour Extra Life charity drive I participate in every year. I beat a few more stages since then, but still had a few more to go and it felt fitting to finish the game off at the next year’s Extra Life! That is exactly what I did, and boy did I feel like an idiot doing so with my lackluster Mega Man expertise. While I still enjoyed my time with the game, I had to exploit save-states for every few screens of progress. I had no idea there was a huge labyrinth of levels leading up to the final encounter with Dr. Wily, which included finishing off all the previous bosses again one more time. I was only anticipating spending another couple hours with the game when instead it took me about five to six hours to finish it off. I still loved every moment of it and want to at least finish off a couple more games in the series someday. I hear that Mega Man 3 is even better than Mega Man 2 so I should at least play that one….right? 8) Off to the Races

Just like last year I played a ton of racing games off and on throughout the year. Like pinball games, starting off a gaming session with 30-60 minutes knocking off a few races of progress before I move onto something else is ideal for me. I played way too much Konami Krazy Racers on the GBA Virtual Console on WiiU. It is a fun little kart racer featuring a unique cast of side characters from various Konami franchises. I also played a ton of Fast Racing Neo on WiiU and loved its take on F-Zero/Wipeout. Before the Switch version of Mario Kart 8 launched earlier this year I got in a few more online sessions on the WiiU version since I imagined most of the player-base flocked to that version upon its release. I am still surprised at how well that version runs online with my wi-fi setup. Other racing games that dominated my time this year were The Crew. I am not really engaging in much of its online content and trying to romp through its story mode, but I do like its take on using the USA as an open world hub. The spiritual successor to Road Rash that is Road Redemption finally came out of Steam Early Access a few months ago and I enjoyed a couple loops through its career mode with my brother. TrackMania Turbo is a fun time-trial based racer oozing with style that has me itching for those perfect runs. JoyRide Turbo is an inferior racing game also with ‘Turbo’ in its title. It is a port of the Kinect-racer on 360 that hit XBLA a year or two later with standard controller gameplay added, and it is ok, but eventually it wore out its welcome. It is not as terrible as Beach Buggy Racing on Xbox One, a budget kart racer for the platform with very loose controls and gets my nod as least enjoyable racing game I played in 2017. Finally, I have been playing a lot of the 360 version of Forza Horizon 2. I loved the first game and its festival/party atmosphere it introduced to the spinoff series and the same applies to the sequel. I am almost done with most of the races in the career mode and after that I can finally move on to the third Horizon which I hear nothing but amazing things. 7) One Game in One Day!

I have referenced here before how I am down with the genre of games known as ‘Walking Simulators’ with much love from me to prior hits in the genre like Oxenfree and Firewatch. Games in this genre cater towards me because they usually have powerful narratives that can be finished in a couple sittings. I wanted to finish one more game before the end of the year so on December 30th I started and finished another popular game in the genre that hit earlier in 2017, What Remains of Edith Finch in about four hours. The game did not disappoint as it focused on the last surviving member of a cursed family revisiting her childhood home and each through an interesting series of flashbacks she experiences each family member’s demise. I enjoyed most of it and absolutely loved its atmosphere exploring the mysterious house filled with literally thousands of books. The big focus of the journey though is reliving those 10-12 flashbacks and they scale all over the place from enthralling, to vague, to underwhelming and head-scratchingly dull. I still very much enjoyed my experience with it, especially since it was one of those rare times where I can plow through a game in a single sitting, but I would rank it a notch or two under Oxenfree and Firewatch. 6) Pound-Town!! On last year’s best of blog I dedicated an entry to my awesome couch co-op gaming nights with friends Derek, Brooke and Ryan, so I will continue that trend this year. We started off the year rotating in and out a lot of our usual favorites but sticking more and more to the social party games featured in Jackbox Party Pack. About halfway into the year another Jackbox-style game hit the PS4 that was a hit with our group called That’s You and it incorporated more unique ways of getting the smartphone in the mix in its games compared to the Jackbox use of the smartphone.

About halfway into the year however we started to play more and more board games. We got a few in the mix in 2016 but 2017 was the year board gaming took off for us. A couple board game/hobby shops opened up in town over the last year or two and it resulted in our group trying out tons of new board games. I must have tried out nearly a dozen tabletop games and some of my favorites were Five Minute Dungeon (a super quick card based version of DnD), YamSlam (think Yahtzee meets poker) and another game I forget the name of where you where a headband and put a card on it while your teammate gives clues to the answer like in the classic game show, $25,000 Pyramid. While we are on the theme of board games this entry I will give a shoutout to Matt and the few rounds of Othello we got in over recent years (new version out on Switch!). Another night Derek and I joined my brother and friends Mike and Justine for an epic night of the board game Zombicide. I have played that game before and do enjoy it, but that game makes rounds of Risk seem like a sprint and you need to dedicate at least several hours to finish a game. Luckily, Mike is a seasoned pro at the game and breezed through its elaborate setup. Somehow, someway we managed to finish a whole game in about five hours, and it was a blast. I feel bad for my brother because he was the only one in our group that did not survive the zombie horde that night. 5) More Love for the 3DS This is another themed entry I am carrying over from 2016. I continue to try and get in a couple hours of handheld device gaming a week on my 3DS. 2017 saw me finally finish Phoenix Wright: Spirits of Justice after a whopping 68 hours!! It easily surpasses Dual Destines as the superior 3DS installment of the franchise as it finally opens up Apollo’s background and it gets all the ace attorneys involved from the Wright Anything Agency and brings back fan favorite Maya back into the fray after a lengthy absence from the series. I am now all caught up on the latest games in the series…in America anyways as I hear Japan is getting spin-off exclusives I am envious of. The other 3DS game I put a ton of time into this year was the remaster of Dragon Quest VIII. It originally hit PS2 around 15 years ago, but this version makes some added benefits for on-the-go gaming like quicksaves and auto-combat which I greatly appreciate. I always liked the Dragon Quest series of RPGs for being simpler, easier to pick up RPGs compared to the average Final Fantasy, and I am digging its art style, score and whimsical narrative thus far after around 30 hours in.

One last game I finished on 3DS is Find Mii and that is a Street Pass Plaza game contained with the 3DS UI. It took forever to finish because to advance in it you need to earn coins via carrying the 3DS around with you in sleep mode to beat simple monsters in a straightforward dungeon layout. There are quite a few monsters to conquer though and it took me banking up many coins to hire countless temporary heroes to defeat in its many dungeon rooms and after nearly three years of off-and-on gradual progress I finally finished it. Huzzah! 2017 saw a far more advanced version of Find Mii released on the 3DS called Mii-Topia which I understand is more of a full-on RPG compared to the intentionally basic design of Find Mii. I think Mii-Topia released shortly after I finished Find Mii and I kind of impulse-bought while on my rush of finishing Find Mii so who knows when I will get to it. Speaking of the 3DS, my brother Joe and I went in together and got my nephew Carter a 2DS for Christmas. Joe got Carter into Pokemon at the beginning of the year by exposing him to the cartoon and the world of Pokemon cards. He is now a devout PokeKid! He never played any of the games though, so I we got him a 2DS and I loaded it up with Virtual Console rereleases of Pokemon Yellow, Pokemon Trading Card Game and Pokemon Puzzle League and I made sure to download and install a super-sweet Pikachu theme on the system for him too. When he opened it up on Christmas Eve he gave both us the biggest hugs!!! So worth it! 4) Kept You Waiting? Just like in 2016, I played a good amount of Metal Gear Solid. The first few months of the year I dedicated to trying to finish off Peace Walker. I say trying because I got the first ending to the game, but it seemed premature due to the gameplay style and sure enough after looking up online there was a true ending to unlock that involved beating many more boss fights in a specific fashion that is too particular to explain here in order to truly finish it. I spent way too much time going down this route before ultimately giving up and moving on. I still had a blast with the game and since it did not have a difficulty level setting I guess you can say I did ‘beat’ it on its default difficulty level instead of setting it to ‘very easy’ like I did in prior entries.

I needed a break from the franchise after that fiasco for a few months so it was not until the end of summer that I picked up and played through all of the prologue to Metal Gear Solid V that is called Ground Zeroes. It is like the introductory mission to MGS2 and MGS3 that is a couple hours long and sets up the rest of the game, but it was released nearly two years ahead of the main game. It picks up right after Peace Walker which is why I invested so much time in attempting to see that through. I loved how the new game looked on the current gen with stunning graphical effects that make the series stand out above all other AAA games, and its cutscene production is in a league of its own with a gorgeous set piece that sets up the proper full MGSV experience that came out in 2015, The Phantom Pain. A couple months later I finally started The Phantom Pain. The introductory stage is an experience I will never forget and is more like an hour and a half movie that introduces you to the core controls while Konami takes you on a visual effects smorgasbord with easily one of the best produced opening cinematics I have ever seen, and that is saying a lot not just for the franchise but for games in general. Even if you are not that familiar with MGS universe and lore, please click here and take the time to watch The Phantom Pain’s opening hour play out to see a new level of production caliber that games have rarely achieved. That hour and a half or so of gameplay is what I finished off the Extra Life marathon with, and I was glad to rock a pair of surround sound gaming headphones to it because just as much care was put into the audio as in the visuals and it all combined for my eyes being glued to the screen the entire time. I have only had time to play about four or five hours more of it since, and I am glad I played Peace Walker because it looks like it is carrying over that game’s ‘Mother Base’ central command hub that took a bit of adapting to and I will not be going in to that interface blind this time around. This is a huge departure from previous MGS games as the gameplay is changed up big time and now takes place primarily in an open world. I am still getting use to that part, but I am loving the little I have played so far as The Phantom Pain continues to open up with so many options available at Snake’s disposal. I do miss the traditional codec calls, but I understand why Konami switched it up for this game. Speaking of Snake, I thought I would never accept Keifer Sutherland replacing David Hayter as Snake’s voice but after that opening played out I did not second guess it again.

One last thing about Metal Gear! I referenced earlier how the crew at giantbomb.com are my go to crew for gaming based videos. They occasionally do full play-throughs of games with a second person on hand for commentary, and over a couple years from 2004-06 they went through almost all of the core Metal Gear games. Giant Bomb called the series ‘Metal Gear Scanlon’ because their video-guy Drew Scanlon was playing through the Metal Gear games for his first time while resident Metal Gear expert and published author, Dan Ryckert on hand to lend his Metal Gear expertise. During the course of 2017 I watched their playthroughs for the first three Metal Gear Solid entries. They were a riot to have on in the background and watch in chunks here and there. Here is a link to a few highlight packages from their sessions for those who are interested. 3) Mmmmm….Fresh Meat I have an odd history with the Diablo series. I love hack ‘n slash RPG games, but I have never finished one in the premiere franchises of the genre from acclaimed developer Blizzard. I played a bit of the first chunk of the debut game right around its release on PC, but then my brother Joe started it up and he had more time to dedicate to it than I did so I wound up occasionally watching him play it from time to time instead. The exact same thing happened with the sequel and I saw Joe play that game nonstop for at least a few years. I played the opening couple of missions to the long awaited Diablo III shortly after its release in 2012 at a friend’s but held off picking it up hoping for a console release instead. I was thrilled when it hit console’s the next year and I picked it up on PS3 and Joe and another friend joined us for a few awesome couch co-op sessions of it and we got nearly halfway through the game until it became difficult to arrange nights for all three of us to meet up and continue and eventually the game fell into my gaming backlog abyss. Fast forward four years and Joe and I picked up our routine, bi-weekly Sunday morning gaming sessions that we use to do all the time until a few years ago. You want to know how long it takes to finish Diablo III and its expansion act when you only have time to commit about three-to-four a month to it? Turns out it takes roughly five months to finish it that way, but it was gratifying to finally cross finishing a Diablo game off my gamer bucket list. I am also mighty thankful that Blizzard made the normal difficulty a relative cakewalk for people like me who do not have ample time to set aside to master the game. We did not lose a single life until we got to the final boss, and even then we finished him off on our third try, and it felt so good! Joe-berg I apologize again for making you sit through all the story and dialogue sequences, I know you want to just keep on hack ‘n slashin’, but you know I gots to absorb that Diablo-lore! 2) Is This Really A Thieve’s End? When I hosted my videogame podcast that ran from 2005-2013, Sony’s top-of-the-line action/adventure Uncharted games would always rank high on my year-end game of the year lists. Hell, I even dug the Vita entry, Golden Abyss too! I got my PS4 towards the end of 2016 and it came bundled with the fourth game of the series. I wanted to play it right away, but did not want to nickel-and-dime my way through the game like I do for most games nowadays.

I held off on playing the latest version I heard so much praise for until I requested a week off from work in April this last year when I had a few other things going on in that timeframe I needed time off for. During that time I made sure to set aside nearly two hours a day to make decent headway in that game, and I am glad I did because Uncharted 4: A Thieve’s End is the longest game of the entire series and it took me nearly 20 hours to finish. It took me that long because I did what I always do every time I play through Uncharted and took my time to soak in its lush and beautiful environments while I explored off the beaten path for the game’s trademark hidden treasures. Uncharted 4 ranks right up there with the second game as my two favorite games in the series. The core gunplay and stealth mechanics I had some issues with before got tweaked and are far more enjoyable this time around. This is the first time in the series I did not mind playing stealthy for a change in certain areas. The platforming is just as masterful as ever as I took in every climbing, rope-swinging, and rock-sliding path that was bestowed upon protagonist Nathan Drake. The vintage set piece chase/interactive cinematics are just as impressive as the past few entries as well. I loved the introduction of Nate’s brother Sam to the cast and he perfectly blended into the series. There was one twist with him later on in the narrative that did not get fully explained that kind of rubbed me the wrong way, but other than that the story lives up to the brand’s high standards. Definitely do no skip out on this entry in the series!

Later on in the year a spinoff Uncharted came out subtitled Lost Legacy. It made the bold move of not having Drake as the protagonist and instead casted Drake’s partner-in-crime Chloe from Uncharted 2 & 3 and antagonist Nadine from Uncharted 4 as the two stars. Playing with these two and an open-ended stage that took up a major part of the second act of Lost Legacy combined to significantly change up the core Uncharted gameplay. I approached parts of this game differently than previous installments while still experiencing the aforementioned top-of-class production values from the series. While I hope it is not the final Uncharted game in the series, I hope the series goes on a mini-hiatus for the time being after six awesome entries within 11 years. 1) Zelda + Elder Scrolls = GOTY The hype leading up to the latest Legend of Zelda game in the series that hit in 2017, Breath of the Wild was impossible to avoid. Nintendo finally changing up the core formula of a console based Zelda for the first time since Ocarina of Time and going to an open-world format was something I had to be there day one for. I still recall playing the first five hours of Breath of the Wild and being fully immersed with its its new levels of open-ended gameplay previously unseen in the series. I instantly fell in love with its world, and for its first several hours of gameplay I felt I was playing something truly special. The only times I felt this way before about a game were for Grand Theft Auto III, the first Halo and the first Uncharted. That is elite company to reside with.

Minus a couple short breaks to focus on other games, I have been consistently playing Breath of the Wild since its release and have invested nearly 100 hours into it. Despite that I have yet to finish it and have only vanquished two divine beasts so far because I love losing myself exploring its world. I rarely make use of fast travel points and I never use horses for fear or running past and missing out on hidden areas/secrets in the game. It took me several hours over many attempts to finish the mystical Eventide Island and I did not mind its grueling challenge to figure out how to overcome the unique predicament that island starts Link off in. I remember the thrill of finishing off my first ancient machine and defeating the formidable foes that are the Lynels. I did not mind the weapons breaking frequently since it inspired me to mix up my weaponry and try out weapons I would not have otherwise and there are always a constant flux of weapons available. Somehow, someway, Breath of the Wild is the first game to get me into crafting, something I detested in games prior. That jingle it plays when you make a super zesty dish with bonus attributes is an awesome feeling. I am playing this on the WiiU and my only gripe is that it did not have the option to use the gamepad for inventory management. I guess the rain was a minor hindrance too since it prevents climbing, but those minor two gripes aside did not bother me to invest all this time into it throughout the year, and probably just as much time going into 2018 too. This is easily the best time I have had with any Zelda game ever. Until Next Year…. Phew, thank you for sticking with me throughout this novel of an entry. This was quite the adventure to write, and I give big ups to you if you got through this in its entirety! See you next year for my top 2018 gaming experiences! As a little bonus, if you are not tired yet of clicking through all the supplemental YouTube videos linked above, here is one more that always manages to crack me up when I need to get myself out of a funk, so please click away and enjoy!

[grassroutes]

Risking Your Privacy Is More Fun Than the Librem 5

Our verdict of the Purism Librem 5 : With a solid operating system and privacy-focused hardware kill switches, the Librem 5 is bulkier than expected and eats through battery. While the philosophy behind the phone is sound, Librem 5 is unlikely to be picked up by anyone other than Linux users and privacy advocates.510

Smartphones deliver untold conveniences into our lives, barely thought of 20 years ago. Mobile internet, email, social networking, gaming, productivity, shopping, even media production. The list goes on—but it comes with a price.

Your phone is tracking you. GPS can detect your position; the mic and camera can eavesdrop; online services record your activity. We’ve traded privacy for convenience at a slow-burning rate that continues to smolder.

Social purpose technology company Purism believes it can change this. It’s developed Librem 5, a Linux-based smartphone with built-in kill switches for internet, Wi-Fi and Bluetooth, as well as the camera and microphone.

It sounds promising, but does the Librem 5 deliver on the promise of a “security and privacy-focused phone” that can replace your Android or iPhone?

What’s Inside the Librem 5?

Two versions of the Librem 5 have been announced: Librem 5, and Librem 5 USA. Purism kindly sent us the original Librem 5 for review.

Inside the phone is a Quad-core Cortex A53, 64bit ARM CPU running at a maximum 1.5GHz. 3GB of RAM is also squeezed in, with a Vivante GC7000Lite GPU. The Librem 5 has 32GB eMMC storage with a microSD card slot for up to 2TB more.

Also behind the 5.7-inch 720×1440 IPS TFT display is a choice of baseband radio (Gemalto PLS8 or Broadmobi BM818), nanoSIM tray, 802.11 a/b/g/n Wi-Fi, and Bluetooth 4. The phone features a TESEO LIV3 multi-constellation GNSS GPS receiver. Note that NFC is not included. However, there is a nine-axis accelerometer, (gyro, accel, magnetometer) and ambient light and proximity sensor.

Two ports are included: a USB-C input for power, data, and DisplayPort, and the “Courage Jack”. This is a 3.5mm headphone jack—Purism states that unlike established competitors, it has “no intention of doing vendor lock-in.”

The Librem 5 features a removable back panel. Here you can access the user replaceable 3,500mAh battery.

As you look at the phone in your hand, the right-hand side features a power button and volume buttons. The left side features the kill switches. These are for Wi-Fi, cellular, and the cameras and mic. Activating all three kill also disable GPS.

An RGB LED is provided for notifications and the phone features two cameras: a front facing 8MP camera and a 13MP main cam with LED flash.

The review device we received included the Librem 5 phone, a USB-C to USB-C cable, mains adaptor, and earbuds.

Do You Need a Secure Phone?

Your phone is leaking data about you all the time. Either that data is recorded by Google, Apple, Facebook, Amazon, or any number of online entities, or your mobile provider is logging activity. A VPN is a smart way to encrypt internet activity, but that doesn’t stop GPS, cellular and Wi-Fi positioning. Cameras and mics aren’t easily encrypted either.

The Librem 5 is described as “a security and privacy focused phone” and comes with software trackers disabled by default.

Throw in the kill switches, the Linux operating system, free and open source software, and drivers, and Librem 5 is secure in a way other phones cannot hope to be.

While it’s straightforward enough to disable GPS, cellular and wireless on an Android or iPhone, kill switches simplify it and give peace of mind. These physical switches can enhance security and privacy wherever you are.

Meanwhile, the Librem 5 is almost unique in not relying on any chips compromised by the Meltdown or Spectre vulnerabilities. This alone makes it more secure than many devices.

Operating System and Software

It doesn’t run Android or iOS—so what is running on the Librem 5?

PureOS is a Linux distribution maintained by Purism for its own devices. Based on Debian, this is an operating system with a focus on privacy. For example, the default web browser is Mozilla Firefox with DuckDuckGo providing search.

First impressions are odd. After logging in what you see is a blank home screen. The only indication of what comes next is a single chevron, a keyboard icon, and notification icons at the top. Quick note about the keyboard—having it accessible on every screen is an excellent idea. Sadly, implementation of text entry is terrible, from finger accuracy to access to secondary characters. A software keyboard that works shouldn’t be a big ask.

While the app drawer is easy to access via an upward swipe, the Librem 5 is short on apps. Linux apps are available for almost every purpose, but few are suitable for the phone user interface. Happily, HTML5 web apps run the browser. Meanwhile a small number of dedicated apps and games are also available.

In addition, standard Linux apps with ARM compatibility can also run. These are subject to hardware and privacy limitations, however. For example, capturing a screenshot from the Librem 5 proved impossible.

However, a word of warning. The Librem 5’s Linux phone predecessors running on Ubuntu Touch struggled with the reliance on web apps. While in theory web apps are preferable to apps that install on your device demanding resources, they’re slightly less usable. The comparative speed of Firefox limits things further—it’s unclear whether the seemingly slow browser is limited pending optimization tweaks.

Our review of the Librem 5 has taken several weeks, partly due to battery limitations. The review device seemed prone to running dry with just a few hours use. Regardless, I was able to spend more time than usual evaluating the phone and how it feels to use.

Overall, the user experience of the Librem 5 is pleasant—it’s just that using it as a phone is currently limited.

Updates Philosophy for the Librem 5

Purism has clearly spent a lot of time considering the state of the smartphone industry. From the challenge of providing an alternative mobile operating system to working to enhance security and privacy for users, there is much to reflect upon.

An issue with iOS and Android (and other platforms) that is often overlooked is that of updates. Consequently, Purism states it will provide security updates, privacy improvements, bug fixes, and new features for the device’s lifetime.

This is a welcome change from the Apple and Google approach of issuing updates that only cover recent releases.

Booting Librem 5

Switching on the phone is as simple as you would expect. Hold the power button for a second, and it boots up—remarkably fast. I timed it at five seconds, which is about as fast as you can expect for any phone.

At times, however, I found that the Librem 5 would not boot. Despite my initial concerns, this wasn’t a power issue; I tried reseating the battery, recharging again, the usual tricks. Fortunately, I was directed to a support page revealing the solution. Within seconds the phone was up and running.

While frustrating, this support issue was nevertheless effectively solved. Having support pages in place for the phone at this stage is good news for all users of the Librem 5.

But this bulky phone gets hot when charging. No doubt an issue for future correction, you basically need to power if off before plugging in to charge.

Using Librem 5 for Calls

With so few options on the software side, the Librem 5 handles calls and contacts reasonably well.

However, call volume is impossible to change while the call is taking place. Meanwhile, speaker mode is… disappointing to say the least. It appears to push the same audio through the main speaker at exactly the same volume as the call.

So while calls are easy enough to make, and the audio quality is good, basic accessibility suffers.

As a phone you can pick up and take with you, the Librem 5 is unsurprisingly chunky. It weighs 230 grams, a good 100 grams more than average, although this is due to the components and build materials. It feels comfortable in the hand, however, which is always a good thing.

A Glimpse of the Future

The Librem 5 promises much, a whole new attitude towards digital privacy. But there is a long way to go. There’s no working camera app at this stage; the browser is slow; battery life is terrible; desktop convergence mode is absent. Call volume is strangely quiet and speaker mode follows suit.

At this stage, the Librem 5 is far from a write-off, however. In terms of using it as a basic phone, the hardware is sound. The privacy aspects are sound. But it feels that PureOS offers less of a mobile experience than Ubuntu Touch did (and UBPorts continues to do).

While the Librem 5 is available to buy today, it is important to appreciate that it remains a work in progress.

An Ultra-Secure Linux Phone With Potential

Open source phones have long been touted as a secure and workable alternative to Android and iPhone. Firefox OS, Meego, and others have been and gone, while previous Linux attempts such as UBPorts have stalled.

The Librem 5 represents an opportunity to change the way we use mobiles. Having the option to physically disable key tracking and surveillance hardware on your phone is obviously a massive advantage.

For this, however, you sacrifice the convenience that comes with an Android or iOS phone.

Like many others, I really want this phone to shape the future of smartphones and mobile technology. On this showing, it’s at least five years out of step. Purism’s good intentions are clear, but the Librem 5 is a far cry from the quality of its laptops. More worryingly for Purism, there’s a strong chance its efforts could be overshadowed by the PinePhone, another Linux project that is far more affordable.

Do we want a future where we have granular control over privacy? Of course we do. And that’s why Librem 5 must be admired. As a concept, it sounds great on paper, but in practice, it leaves much to be desired.

Ultimately, Librem 5 is a privacy-focused phone that limits you to HTML5 apps and a few bundled Linux tools. There is a lot to like here, but not enough for the Librem 5 to go mainstream.

Read the full article: Risking Your Privacy Is More Fun Than the Librem 5

Risking Your Privacy Is More Fun Than the Librem 5 posted first on grassroutespage.blogspot.com

[lancecarr]

First Look: Wacom MobileStudio Pro 16

I first saw the Wacom MobileStudio Pro at NAB last year and finally got my hands on one to test this winter. For an amazing Cintiq-style creative pen tablet that is also a touchscreen mobile computer, camera, 3D object scanner and more, I wanted to stretch the limits of its capabilities beyond the average sketch-pad and drawing demos you typically see with Wacom products. Here’s the first look at this interesting hardware/peripheral configuration:

Wacom MobileStudio Pro 16 shown with optional wireless keyboard

I first saw the Wacom MobileStudio Pro at NAB last year and finally got my hands on one to test this winter. For an amazing Cintiq-style creative pen tablet that is also a touchscreen mobile computer, camera, 3D object scanner and more, I wanted to stretch the limits of its capabilities beyond the average sketch-pad and drawing demos you typically see with Wacom products.

Here’s the first look at this interesting hardware/peripheral configuration:

Wacom MobileStudio Pro 13 & 16

Wacom MobileStudio Pro 13 (MSRP $1699-2199) is designed specifically to meet the demands of creative professionals who want the freedom to create anywhere. It’s a full-featured, Intel®-powered computer with the muscle you need to run professional creative applications. Choose up to 16GB of RAM, an Intel® Core™ i7 processor and Intel® Iris™ 550 graphics – with up to 512GB of fast storage.

With a resolution of 2560×1440 and color accuracy of 80% Adobe RGB coverage (CIE1931), Wacom MobileStudio Pro 13’s screen is dazzling. Not only will your work look amazing, it will feel amazing too. The new etched glass surface makes it feel like you’re working with pen and paper by providing a balanced amount of resistance to the Pro Pen 2’s tip. Plus, multi-touch gestures make zooming and rotating your creations as simple as pinching and swiping on your smartphone.

Wacom MobileStudio Pro 16 (MSRP $1999-2699) is a full-featured, Intel®-powered computer with the power you need to run professional creative 2D, 3D and CAD applications. Building a prototype of a new gearbox in SolidWorks®? An hour of HDR edits that need rendering in Adobe® Premiere® Pro? MobileStudio Pro is more than up to the task. Choose up to 16GB of RAM, an Intel® Core™ i7 processor and 512GB of fast storage. Plus, both Wacom MobileStudio Pro 16 models come with NVIDIA® Quadro® graphics and on-board memory to make heavy files fly around your screen.

The 4K resolution (3840×2160) of Wacom MobileStudio Pro 16’s screen renders each fine brush stroke accurately and provides plenty of space in which to work. Color accuracy of 94% of Adobe® RGB means you can accurately reproduce even the most subtle shades. Your work will look amazing – and it will feel amazing too. The new etched glass surface provides the familiar sensation of working with pen on paper. Plus, multi-touch gestures make zooming and rotating your creations as simple as pinching and swiping on your smartphone.

While the MobileStudio Pro 13 & 16 are not just tablets, they also aren’t laptops. At first glance, the ports available on the sides of the device include a MicroSD (SDXC) card slot and 3 *USB-C slots.

*NOTE: If you’re a Mac or PC user that’s upgraded all of your Thunderbolt 2 drives and peripherals to Thunderbolt 3, you’re still going to be out of luck unless one of your devices also has the USB 3 connector and you have a converter cable or breakout dock. I’ve not found any TB2/3 to USB-C docks or converters that will communicate properly, so only the USB 3 to USB-C has seemed to work.

Wacom MobileStudio Pro 16 with optional wireless keyboard and a USB 3 SSD with a USB-C converter.

Specs from Wacom’s Website (MobileStudio Pro 16):

Display Size: 15.6 inch (39.6 cm) Resolution: UHD (3840 x 2160) Advanced Control: 8192 levels pen pressure, tilt and multi-touch Productivity Boosters: ExpressKeys™, on-screen controls, time-savings settings Ergonomics: Right or left-handed use, adjustable optional stand Compatibility: Windows 10 – Stand-alone Mac, Windows – with Wacom Link Processor: 6th generation Intel® Core™ processors Graphics Card: NVIDIA® Quadro® M600M 2GB GDDR5 to NVIDIA® Quadro® M1000M 4GB GDDR5 Storage: 256GB – 512GB Solid state drive (SSD) Product Type: Creative Pen Computer Micro SD Slot: SDXC card (uhs-ii) RAM: 8 GB to 16 GB DDR3 Expandable Memory: No Expandable Storage: Memory card or external HDD, purchased separately Security: Kensington® security slot for Kensington MiniSaver™ Mobile Lock. Fingerprint Sensor on select models. TPM 2.0. Multi-Touch: Yes PenWacom Pro Pen 2 Pressure Levels: 8192, both pen tip and eraser Tilt Range: 60 degrees Tilt Recognition: ±60 levels Type: Pressure-sensitive, cordless, battery-free Switches: 2 side switches Extra Nibs: 3 extra nibs (2 standard, 1 felt) Pen Carrying Case: Yes Pen Stand: No Pen Holder: Yes Grip: Latex-free silicone rubber Technology: Patented electromagnetic resonance method Weight: 2200 g / 4.85 lbs Size: 418 x 262 x 19 mm (16.5 x 10.3 x 0.75 inch) Displayable Colors (maximum): 16.7 million Screen Size: 15.6 inch (39.6 cm) Technology: LED Viewing Angle: 178° (89°/89°) H, (89°/89°) V Aspect Ratio: 16:9 Contrast Ratio: 1000:1 Brightness: 314.78cd/m2 Active Area: 346 x 194 mm (13.6 x 7.6 in) Graphics Input: USB-C (for optimum performance) or Mini DisplayPort using optional Wacom Link Color Gamut: Adobe RGB at CIE1931 Coverage Ratio: 85% Area Ratio: 94% Adobe RGB at CIE1976 Coverage Ratio: 90% Area Ratio: 94% Response: 25 ms Industry Standard Pre-sets: Adobe RGB, 6500 deg. K white point default: DCI, REC 709, SRGB Operating System: Windows 10 Pro ExpressKeys™: 8 customizable, application-specific Touch Ring: Yes on Rocker Ring Touch Strips: No On-Screen Controls: Yes Rocker Ring And Home Button: 4 position customizable with default TouchRing function and home button Radial Menu: Yes Precision ModeYes Display Toggle: Yes Dedicated Pan, Scroll, Zoom, Brush Size: Yes Orientation: Right or left-handed use (Portrait/Landscape modes – auto sense rotation) Cable Included: AC adaptor and power cable Display: N/A PC And Mac: Optional Wacom Link with USB-C, Mini DisplayPort and USB cables. Optimum performance using certified USB-C cable to USB-C port Video Out: USB type C Peripherals: 3 USB type C (*NOT Thunderbolt compatible) Network: Bluetooth® 4.1 technology Wireless: 802.11 ac Cameras: Front: 5 MP HD Back: 8 MP HD Back: Intel RealSense™ R200 (3D scanning camera) on 512GB model Speaker2 x 2.0W Sensors: GPS, electronic compass, accelerometer, ambient light, gyro Power Supply Input: 100 to 240 VAC, 50/60 Hz Power Supply Output: 5V/3A (15W), 20V/5A (100W) Battery: 7.6 V, Li-polymer, 70 Wh Power Consumption: Max: 96W, 0.9 W when asleep, 0.6 W or less when off Battery Life: Battery life will vary. It depends on how the products are used and which device settings are selected. Battery Charging Time: Up to 2 hours Audio: Audio headset jack included. System Requirements: With optional Wacom Link: Windows® 7 or later, Mac OS X® 10.10 or later, USB-C port (or Mini DisplayPort and standard USB port) Limited Warranty: 1 year in USA, Canada, and Latin America 2 years in Europe 1 year in Japan & Asia Pacific What’s IncludedWacom MobileStudio Pro 16 Wacom Pro Pen 2 Pen case with 3 replacement nibs, color rings and nib removal tool, Pen holder AC Power Adapter + power cable Quick Start Guide Cleaning cloth Certifications: VCCI Class B, FCC Part 15, Subpart B (class B) and C, CE, KC, BSMI, C-tick, CB, CCC, EAC, China RoHS, Korean RoHS, EU RoHS, SII, NOM, CEL, IC, Energy Star, CEC-BCS, Energy Label Law Previous generation pens: Airbrush, Art Pen, Classic Pen, Grip Pen, Pro Pen Model Numbers: DTH-W1620M, DTH-W1620H Microsoft Specialized PC Certification: None

Pro Pen 2

One of the important factors of the performance in action is the Wacom Pro Pen 2, which delivers incredible speed, sensitivity and accuracy – in addition to the flexibility in varying natural pen grip that people differ individually.

This is the first on-screen pen device that I’ve used that has no strange parallax or strange offset due to tilt angle or pen grip position.

  Hands-on with the Mobile Studio Pro 16

The obvious first option was to open up Adobe Photoshop CC and give the drawing/sketching capabilities a quick run to get the feel of the pen-to-surface response and sensitivity. Having used several variations of the Wacom Cintiq tablets in the past, I really wanted to experience this new screen and pen technology, that Wacom engineers have claimed is a thinner glass with a tougher scratch-resistant surface and that the lag time is also undetectable.

The pen tip action is so smooth it does require you to adapt a different touch than you might be used to with your old tablet or Cintiq. I had to adjust my pen tool prefs settings to require a harder pressure than I have in the past until I can develop a lighter feel in my drawing approach.

If you’re an existing Wacom user, this experience is noticably different – in a very good way!

I also spend time re-programming the click buttons on the pen to simulate Right-click and Alt/Option buttons for ease of bringing up contextual menus, brush and selection tools.

If you are a keyboard shortcut junkie like I am, there are definitely some things you use frequently that can be programmed into the ExpressKeys and the TouchRing that will really speed up productivity (I’ll get into those more in my next article in this series for various apps/functions). Not to mention the many, many other keystroke combinations you may use in any one application.

However, I found that relying solely on the touch-screen/pop-up keyboard for simple Windows OS tasks such as Logging in with your password and accessing apps or the Start menu from the task bar (if it’s hidden) is nearly impossible at times, so I opted for the wireless keyboard to keep handy. It’s also much more intuitive to enter text for design and layout work as well as extracting text from a doc that you use in your layout/design or on-screen text for your video productions.

Also – the touch screen is as sensitive as you’d hope it might be. Very similar to using a large iPad and familiar gestures (you can choose between Windows 10 standards or Wacom standards in your setup prefs). I would highly suggest setting up one of your ExpressKeys on the tablet to toggle the touch screen on/off or you’ll be cursing at it while you work and it’s trying to guess between your pen tip and your hand for input instructions.

One thing I’ve been using is a Compression Glove that not only helps isolate my skin away from the screen’s surface while working, but also supports my hand/joints while working for hours gripping the pen. It keeps the screen clean from skin oil residue and doesn’t triger the touch screen surface unless you want to intentionally. Also, I’ve discovered a “hot spot” on the screen that gets really, really warm on the lower-center which I assume is where the processor or video card is located and it actually feels hot to the touch. The glove helps to isolate your hand so the intensity of the heat is much less when you glide over it or rest your hand on the screen at that location.

Also, the built-in 8MP camera will allow you to capture images on the spot directly to your device so you can start working on design comps, sketches and storyboarding right away. This is perfect for location scouting and storyboard development!

Using the MobileStudio Pro 16 with Adobe After Effects

I know you’re asking yourself “Why would I even think about trying to run After Effects on a pen-computer?” – and in most cases, you probably won’t very often. But if you have to do a lot of roto or paint work on hundreds/thousands of subsequent frames, then I can’t imagine NOT using either a Cintiq or the MobileStudio Pro for these tasks.

I tried it out with the memory-intensive Roto Brush Tool and working with media it was reading off the USB 3 SSD drive and it performed surprisingly well. Would I do a full feature production with this alone – no way, but if I needed to take care of a couple shots on the road or on a client site, then having the MobileStudio Pro with me is a self-contained way of accomplishing what would otherwise need for me to wait until I returned to my studio – or carry a lot more gear with me.

I will be covering more about the Roto Brush tool, paint tools and other editing workflows with the MobileStudio Pro 16 in my next article int he series, so stay-tuned.

3D Scanning with the Intel RealSense Cameras and Sensors

Something that nobody would expect with a pen computer is a built-in 3D scanner. It’s a smaller version of the Intel RealSense that promises to deliver a reasonably good scanned model.

The camera array on the back of the MobileStudio Pro contains Wacom’s native 8MP RGB camera (far left, not used for 3D scanning), followed by the R200’s first IR camera, its RGB camera, the IR laser projector and at the far right the second IR camera. The mount underneath is for the optional stand.

I tried a couple half-assed attempts to scan something but realized I wasn’t really following the instructions properly (who reads the instructions right out of the box?)

So we’ll be looking forward to doing some proper scans and modeling with the Artec Studio and MobileStudio Pro in an upcoming article in this series. I can only imagine how useful this modeling capability could be when combined with 3D texture painting on the scanned models.

Here’s the general introduction to using the scanner with the included Artec Studio Ultimate software (first year only is free with the device):

  In my research for examples of scanning with the MobileStudio Pro, I ran across this very interesting (albeit quite lengthy) YouTube video from Laurence Mann’s channel – but he visits Ten24 studios and lets a real pro use it and show us how to set it up and scan properly with it. An extra treat if you watch through the whole video to see what a high-end 3D scanning studio produces – but I digress… check it out:

Again – that’s a drastic comparison but also a great example of how to get a good scan and just how impressive a model you can get with a portable device!

My First Look take-away…

So my thoughts and observations in general after testing the MobileStudio Pro 16 for a bit are positive and also mixed. The design in general may be confusing to some. Is it a pen-tablet? Is it a baseless laptop? Is it a 3D scanner? What problems does it solve for me?

It might be the first rendition of what computing in the future may look/feel like. Maybe we’ll see something similar in the not-too-distant future that is more modular and customizable?

Does it replace my laptop? Of course not. But it does allow me spontaneous creativity in a single tool that can do so much. What I know is that Wacom is trying hard to capture a different market here and I think they’re on to something.

PROS:

Portability and flexibility. The MobileStudio Pro 16 fits in my laptop backpack and weight a lot less. I’ve used it (with the keyboard) as my sole workstation a couple days just to see if it could be done, and while I had to keep it plugged into AC power for most of the time, it functioned surprisingly well!

The Pen functions beautifully with the screen glass. The right amount of drag on the surface keeps it from feeling like glass – more like a Rapidograph on vellum. No noticeable lag time with normal motions and works great with all the Adobe CC apps that I tested it on.

Plus it’s just cool. Way beyond just a tablet – it’s a real computer with real software. Not cheesy mobile apps or dumbed-down versions. I can use my actual production files off my hard drive and work directly with them.

CONS:

The only negatives for me from the original OOBE (Out Of Box Experience) was the lack of accessories that I find too important to exclude to make the MobileStudio Pro a truly self-contained pen computing experience for the working professional. Like the wireless keyboard ($50), Wacom Link ($70 – to use with your Mac/PC like a regular Cintiq) and a stand ($100). I mean, C’mon – at least throw in the friggin’ plastic stand folks! Very few people are going to be ONLY holding the device in their laps or in the air with their hands. I had to prop it up constantly to get at a usable viewing/drawing angle.

And the lack of Thunderbolt 3 connectivity. USB 3 is slow and outdated and hard to find compatible peripherals for. I’m really hoping they update the ports in their future designs.

Also – the battery life kinda sucks. We’re talking like iPad 2 battery life. And I haven’t found a portable charging brick yet that will support the MobileStudio Pro, so you’d better hope you’re going to be near an AC power outlet and DON’T FORGET YOUR AC ADAPTER! 😉

But alas – I see the future, and so will you when I bring you my next articles in the series covering ExpressKeys programming, video/roto workflows and real-world 3D Scanning with the MobileStudio Pro 16.

Stay tuned…

  The post First Look: Wacom MobileStudio Pro 16 appeared first on ProVideo Coalition.

https://www.provideocoalition.com/first-look-wacom-mobilestudio-pro-16/

[olivereliott]

Boosted: Rno’s wild turbocharged Honda CBX 1000

We love the big, bruising superbikes of the late 70s and early 80s. They were fast, brash and good-looking—and their riders often had more skidmarks than Lewis Hamilton’s driveway.

So we always keep an eye out for good superbike restomods, and Arno Overweel of Rno Cycles has just delivered a cracker with this turbocharged Honda CBX.

In continental Europe, Arno is a household name in the custom scene. His bikes are often extreme and impractical, but this one is different. The styling is subtle, and the pyrotechnics are focused on the mechanical side.

“The client saw my work at a show and he was very enthusiastic,” says Arno. “We started talking about a CBX that he’d owned from a very early age. It was an American model, with the odometer in miles.”

“The bike had been customized before, with a chromed frame and a turbo kit, but it’d been in storage for a while—and time had left its mark, in the form of rust.”

The client wanted his CBX back on the road, but Arno’s heart lies in custom bike building rather than restoration. “Restoration is simply not my passion,” he says. “But a technical and optical upgrade of a CBX seemed like a challenge, so my question was: where is the limit?”

Arno and his client were soon on the same page. “We both became more enthusiastic. In our heads, the bike was already built: a number plate up front, an aggressive short seat, and modern brakes. The deal was sealed and I finally got to work with a powerful CBX!”

The CBX was the flagship of the Honda range between 1978 and 1982, a superbike with a 1,047 cc 24-valve, air-cooled inline six fed by six carburetors. With 105 hp on tap, it had a top speed comfortably in excess of 130 mph, with some reports citing 140 mph (225 km/h).

This machine goes one step better. It’s got a turbo kit from American Turbo Pack, a mod that was available to speed freaks back in the day. The turbo is a compact Rajay unit, and it breathes through a simple but effective Bendix carb. (The practicalities of tuning six Keihin VB28s for forced induction do not bear thinking about.)

Everything still works well, and the sound apparently generates goose bumps. “At a certain speed, the six-cylinder really begins to howl,” says Arno.

To keep the mighty motor running sweet, Arno installed a Setrab oil cooler (hooked up with Goodridge hoses), a Procom igniter set to boost the sparks, and a new alternator from a Kawasaki Ninja ZX-7R, fitted via a custom adaptor plate.

What Arno didn’t like was the back end of the CBX. “There was a huge seat with a ridiculous big taillight, which looked out of proportion with the narrow rear wheel. The front also needed better proportions.”

Arno decided to respect the 70s styling, but also update it to modern times—taking it from classic superbike to modern muscle bike. “The CBX would get a more brutal look as well.”

He’s installed a Fireblade swingarm that is a bit longer than the standard CBX item. “I wanted a more open, modern and transparent look. So I also turned it into a monoshock set-up,” says Arno. He’s used a Showa shock in a Pro-link setup.

“The diagonal tube under the seat was removed, so all the electronic components and the battery had to move. The electrics are now under the fuel tank and the battery is in the tail.”

The tail end was shortened, which makes the swingarm look even longer, and the 190-section Aprilia RSV Mille rear wheel even bigger.

To beef up the front end, Arno has mounted Öhlins forks—again from an RSV Mille—along with triple trees from an Aprilia Tuono. The client did not want clip-ons, so Arno opted for more comfortable Motacc superbike bars on Rizoma risers.

Right ahead is the AMA Superbike racing-style number plate, which holds a pair of small LED lights. The ’57’ logo was designed by Arno’s brother Jeroen: “57 is the ‘year of construction’ of the owner!” Arno reveals.

The CBX’s character is largely determined by the fuel tank, so Arno wanted to keep it. “I didn’t like the filler cap, so I welded a Rizoma racing cap in it. Some people will think, ‘What a lot of work for a filler cap’, but this bike just needed it.”

The engine didn’t need any work—and certainly doesn’t need any more power. The exhaust system upstream from the turbo plumbing is the original American Turbo-Pack unit, but Arno crafted new plumbing downstream. It now snakes between the subframe supports and terminates in a simple muffler.

Arno also replaced many components with modern counterparts—like Pazzo levers, Motogadget m.blaze blinkers and an Acewell LCD multi-function speedo. He also removed the large round ‘pancake’ air cleaner that blocked the view of the beautiful carburetor and Turbo, replacing it with a compact sport air filter.

The striking paint is the handiwork of local specialist Ben Oud. “With Ben, you always know that it’ll works out,” says Arno. “I wanted an angular 70s style, in the Honda red, white and blue. And there had to be a black stripe on top of the fuel tank—which I’ve seen on a concept bike from Honda.”

Arno suggested flat colors and sponsor stickers, but Ben had better ideas. He also added a touch of glitter to the paint for extra impact, and figured out the best position for the logo.

“He chose the most difficult option—a wing over the tank bulge,” says Arno. “He’s a real professional.”

Ben even painted the seat base before it went to Marcel Miller for the foam and upholstery. Arno elected to mix up the tuck ‘n roll pattern with some diamond stitching.

Unlike some of Arno’s previous builds, the CBX is ‘reasonably comfortable’ and practical. “Everything works properly, and the sound is fantastic!” he reports. “You can hear that it’s a six-cylinder.”

Arno’s managed to take the already monstrous CBX into even wilder territory—without losing an ounce of its retro appeal. We’d ask for a test ride if we weren’t genuinely scared of it.

Rno Cycles | Facebook | Instagram | Images by (and thanks to) Floris Velthuis

[stevewilliams334]

Amazon Echo Australia

Echo in Australia At Last (Buy Now)

What is the Amazon Echo  Australia and what can we use to for , how and what does it do to benefit me and my family ?

This is the question asked every day on our website , and asked about all of the Echo Devices that we have available  What is it and what can it do! Here are some answers with regard to the Amazon Echo 2nd Generation

Amazon Echo the original basic model has been improved and now is sold as the second generation of Amazon Echo Australia.  It is as has been stated quite frequently one of the four echo devices by Amazon , it is a hands-free, voice-controlled device that uses Alexa to comply with any request that you and your family make of it.

What other device can answer question such as –

Alexa What is the surf like today at cottesloe

Alexa What is the traffic like out there now

Alexa Order me a pizza form Dominoes

Alexa what is the weather like tomorrow

Alexa send a text message to Bob –

Alexa Call me an Uber

These are some of the questions that can be asked daily hour by hour – here are some important ones

Alexa – call my mother

Alexa – Call the emergency Doctor for me

Alexa – Call police and ambulance

Alexa – Turn on the house lights

Alexa – Set of the house alarms

Once you have programmed the Echo Device and you have the systems in place life for the young and the elderly can be safer and lets face it with the problems and crime we have we need safety even in our Home

Amazon Echo Australia – The Second Generation

What will it do

It will play music, from more than one device

it will control compatible smart home devices,

It will provide information when questioned

It can even read the news back to you throughout the day

It will even set alarms, whether they be for cooking or for waking you up in the morning

It can read to you out loud from various audiobooks from Audible.

It can connect to speakers throughout your home

It can connect to your headphones through Bluetooth or 3.5 mm stereo cable to play music from Amazon Music Unlimited, Spotify, iHeartRadio, and TuneIn.

It can when set up Play music simultaneously across multiple Echo devices and speakers when connected via cable with multi-room music.

It will at your request call or message anyone hands-free who also has an Echo device or the Alexa App.

It will also connect to other Echo devices in your home using just your voice.

Within your home or office it can controls lights, switches and smartplugs where you have compatible connected devices from Philips Hue, LIFX, TP-Link, D-Link, Logitech Harmony and many others.

It is so sensitive that it can hear you from across the room with its seven inbuilt microphones for far-field hands-free voice control, even while playing music.

It can work on its own as a smart alarm clock in the bedroom, or as an assistant in the kitchen, or anywhere you might want a voice-controlled device.

As stated on the main site the Amazon Echo Australia is always getting smarter – The software “Alexa”  updates through the cloud automatically.

It could and can when set up act as am emergency device for the elderly at home , connecting them to friends, family or even call emergency services. As long as you can speak and make the request the Amazon Echo Dot can help you.

It is as simple as asking Alexa to control compatible smart devices, request an Uber, book a restaurant with Dimmi, find a recipe with Taste all of this with the Echo and much much more.

Comparison Between the Four Echo Devices from Amazon

Technical Information on the Amazon EchoSize148 x 88 x 88 mm

Weight821 g

Actual size and weight may vary by configuration and manufacturing process

Wi-Fi ConnectivityWi-Fi required. Dual-band Wi-Fi supports 802.11 a/b/g/n. Does not support connecting to ad-hoc (or peer-to-peer) Wi-Fi networks.

Bluetooth ConnectivityAdvanced Audio Distribution Profile (A2DP) support for audio streaming from your mobile device to Echo or from Echo to your Bluetooth speaker. Audio/Video Remote Control Profile (AVRCP) for voice control of connected mobile devices. Hands-free voice control is not supported for Mac OS X devices. Bluetooth speakers requiring PIN codes are not supported.

Audio2.5” woofer and 0.6” tweeter

System Requirements The Alexa App is compatible with Fire OS, Android and iOS devices and also accessible via your desktop browser. Certain skills and services are subject to change, may not be available in all areas and may require separate subscriptions or other fees.

Warranty and ServiceAmazon Echo is sold with a

limited warranty of one year

provided by the manufacturer. This Limited Warranty does not restrict or alter any non-excludable statutory consumer protections or rights you may have, including under the Australian Consumer Law. Use of Echo is subject to the

terms found here

.

Included in the BoxAmazon Echo, Echo Shell, power adaptor/cable (1.8 m), Things to Try card and

Quick Start Guide

.

The 2nd generation Amazon Echo has a 2.5” downward-firing woofer and 0.6” tweeter powered by Dolby, delivering crisp vocals and dynamic bass throughout the room.

You can also listen to audiobooks from Audible, play music from Amazon Music Unlimited, Spotify, TuneIn and more.