#geographically let alone easy to follow?

[marisatomay]

okay i’m also mad that nope wasn’t nominated for like anything at the oscars as evidenced by by post about being mad that was being reblogged here but let’s not come for the one nominee that literally invented a whole new camera and new filming techniques to capture actors at supersonic flight at imax quality from the inside of a cockpit. you don’t have to like it to respect the amount of effort and ingenuity that went into the production.

[deus-sema]

The seeds of Celebrimbor's tragedy and its implications

The hardest part of the episode was,undoubtedly, Annatar's manipulation of Celebrimbor and how he managed to not only isolate Tyelpe from all his people and well wishers but them from him as well. Valandil's death is a close second.

In the beginning, Celebrimbor is shown to be celebrating what is, until now, his greatest achievement and almost everyone he cares for is by his side.

But he senses his new friend Annatar's obvious unhappiness and leaves them all behind to follow him.

I liked how we were shown that Celebrimbor, while easy to trust others, isn't a fool for he can understand very well that Annatar can plant his ideas into the minds of others.

But Annatar is two steps ahead for a reason which is why when he fails to persuade Celebrimbor, he decides to take the reigns of the forge, of which the latter is supposed to be the master and he has been merely welcomed to, into his own hands. As for Celebrimbor, one supposedly harmless lie only leads to another.

Celebrimbor is trapped from all sides by Annatar. Doubting the authenticity of the rings is inconceivable for it would bring to question both his work and his capabilities as a smith. The achievement of his lifetime cannot be faulty so the fault could either be with his chosen partner or with himself. This fear is what Annatar preys on and creates doubt in Celebrimbor's mind about himself. By placing the blame of the faulty Dwarven rings on his shoulders, Sauron exploits Celebrimbor's guilt and makes him succumb to the pressure of creating the Nine.

He only begins to suspect that there is more to Annatar than meets the eye when he interacted with Durin - an outsider who isn't part of the bubble Celebrimbor has been confined to by Annatar and isn't in thrall of him. This is probably why Annatar wanted to meet Durin himself instead of letting Celebrimbor do so for not only does he seek to isolate Eregion geographically by breaking the bridge but also mentally and emotionally by preventing contact with anyone who might burst the bubble. Be it Durin or Narvi, he doesn't want anyone else to have Celebrimbor's ear.

This annoyance is also an indication of the hatred he will eventually go on to harbour for the Dwarves for while the Rings can amplify their greed for gold, their will is untameable and cannot be subdued, much less dominated by Sauron.

Meanwhile, when he realises that Celebrimbor might suspect him, he begins to poison the minds of the people who belong to Celebrimbor's household,have worked by his side and honed their skills for years, against him. He creates an illusion of danger to position himself as a safer option for them. Thus, the person whom Celebrimbor allowed into his home and on whom he showered his hospitality, generosity, trust and friendship, completely invaded his life and has set the wheels in motion for its destruction.

For no fault of his save for his kindness and good intentions, Celebrimbor has been left stranded and is all alone to deal with Annatar's sinister machinations. What's more cruel is that he couldn't even realise when the latter was mocking him on his face for being manipulated.

If this is just the beginning, then as feared, we will be left wrecked by the finale. The sparkle in Celebrimbor's eyes and his passion for his craft has begun to diminish. Throughout the episode, I just wanted to jump into the screen and take poor Tyelpe away from there, away from the impending doom.

Hats off to Charles Edwards for he is going to tear our hearts to shreds with his acting. And this is,indeed, a psychological thriller as the showrunners promised with major stakes.

[solarpunkpresentspodcast]

Hope for the present, not the future

Reading the previous post on this blog by Christina, I can’t help but feel… a lot of déja vu, actually. I don’t mean to be blasé at all, because everything that Christina alludes to and talks about in that article is concretely, depressingly relatable. From this side of the Atlantic, I’ve been grimly avoiding looking too deeply into what “Project 2025” entails, because honestly? If it happens, it will happen and I won’t be able to do anything even if I know every up-to-date detail about it, so why borrow the trouble? I have enough in my own life (and country’s politics) already, but being geographically situated next to America is really uncomfortable, in that their problems are almost simultaneously ours, and if they’re not, the entangled political-economic-sociocultural mess makes it that way. And yet my reaction to news of upheaval, disruption, and impending doom is to say “okay” and then go back to my little solarpunk ways of living and being. Given all of the strife that bombards my consciousness on a daily basis, why am I still writing hopelessly naïve articles about compassion and optimism et cetera on the internet? It’s a serious question, not really a rhetorical one. I wrote this article to see if I could come up with an answer; I think I recognized a few different factors, but I’m curious to know what you think after reading through the article. Let me know in the comments.

My father is quite sure that Trump is going to annex Canada,* given our reservoirs of freshwater, and the fact that history is rhyming pretty hard right now in his view as the child of immigrants who left their home after the ravages of World War 2. That one started with Germany annexing Austria, and look how that went. He’s not alone in that opinion, either. However, and perhaps this is the anti-anxiety medication and antidepressants speaking, wars have happened before, a lot, and are happening now, a lot, and people living and dying violently happens pretty much every day; it might just be our turn next. Sucks to suck, but that just seems to be the way of the world, and living on this planet means running the risk of The Bad Thing Happening. Hm, maybe it’s post-car-accident trauma or whatever, but random happenings (not even malice aforethought!) ruins peoples’ lives every day and that’s the way of the world.

Maybe I’m more positive because my family (both sides; my Oma and Opa lived through the war as well before coming to Canada) lived through an apocalypse** that was a political violent upheaval and war in Europe; they were poor farmers already, they had nothing when the politicians decided that the war had ended, and they still managed to make a pretty good life for themselves and their families in the aftermath. So I’ve seen that people can live through these things, and their lives do get better. Eventually. You have to scrimp and save and deal with racist bullshit and work menial jobs for a good long while, but I am programmed to believe that you make it there in the end, because I am living proof of it. So I might be biased, and too focused on that end result.

Or it might be because I recently spent six years studying post-apocalyptic fiction and have read through a myriad of imagined ends … as well as the imagined worlds that come after those ends. Grant you, a lot of those worlds are pretty terrible places to exist! But they do exist. And there are people (the protagonists that we follow) who are working to make it a better place. Kind of like solarpunks are now, actually. To tl;dr the takeaway of the fourth chapter of my dissertation in a very blasé way, horrible death is already a foregone conclusion in the post-disaster/-apocalypse scenarios, so the best thing to do is to make life as good as possible for the people around you for as long as you can to the best of your abilities until you expire.

Looking at the news, it’s easy to conclude that the world is full of doom and gloom and awfulness. Just following the reports coming out of Gaza and the Congo alone makes it pretty hard to imagine humanity acting worse than we already are. But it’s not actually all of humanity committing war crimes and exploiting children and adults with literal slave labour. There happens to be a lot of people who think that behaviour is abhorrent, and are organizing against the inhumane treatment of others (including earth others); there are, in fact, many communities of caring individuals who will stand up for human rights. I don’t think it’s incendiary to say “Hm, maybe you shouldn’t hurt someone else even if they’ve hurt you.” I feel like this is something we try to teach our children and bake into our narratives of who is actually heroic and who isn’t.

The people in charge might be okay with the cost of their political agenda being human suffering, but it helps to keep in mind that, in many cases, they’re a pretty small percentage of a pretty large amount of people. It’s true that in a lot of the so-called democracies we have in the Global North right now, there is a lot of support for terrible people with terrible ideas - but it is also good to keep in mind that the political systems we operate in are, each of them, abysmal. As the saying goes, “democracy is the worst political system, aside from all the other ones.” Jokes aside, reading about the stats of First Past The Post elections, voter suppression, and more can be at the same time disheartening as it is encouraging: there are good people in the world, but a lot of their votes do not count for much … if they can vote at all.

Despite that, I think it is important to participate in one’s political system, no matter where they are located. Especially at the municipal level - that is where I find that some of the most progressive, exciting work is being done. In my opinion, if you aren’t especially thrilled about government, it’s not really very smart to disengage from it, because involved or not, you’ll still fall victim to those who manipulate the political system and you will not know how to fight back. Sun-Tzu says to “know thy enemy” and I’m not suggesting you embark on an entire political science degree, but if you have the capacity for it, participating in direct democracy, attending council meetings, volunteering with a local union or political organization will give you the skills you need to understand and become familiar with the policies affecting your life … and also give you the tools with which to change things. This piece (article and full poem “To Throw a Wrench in the Blood Machine”) by Kyle Tran Myhre discusses voting as just one tool in a toolkit in more detail, in a very nuanced although US-politics centric way, and the line “But those who fight monsters have taught me: short-term and long-term thinking are not mutually exclusive” is very relatable. Solarpunk is about both-and, not either/or.

People survive dark and dangerous times by organizing, by reaching out to each other, by enacting practices of care. Maybe caring for you takes the form of making a poster for your local tenants’ union and NOT going to the rally. Maybe it’s watering the little tree next to your bus stop in a heat wave. Maybe it’s organizing a neighbourhood potluck, or just showing up to the one that someone else organized, signalling solidarity with your presence. I have found that being a body that is present is often such a boon to an organizer, regardless of whether or not your participation goes beyond that.

This essay is rather wander-y and I hope not too Pollyannaish. But I’ve had the sinking feeling that life was only ever going to get worse since I was 23; that’s over a decade that I’ve had to get used to this expectation of future ruin psychically, so perhaps that’s coming out. I don’t really expect things to get better, and I don’t know that I ever have. The only thing that really interrupted my internal narrative of cynicism and doomerism was solarpunk! And I still have to dose myself up with it, deliberately choose to reframe my mindset, whenever I start to spiral. Because I do, a lot, when I think about futures. There’s a reason I’m medicated - there’s nothing off with my brain chemistry, though; instead, everything’s off with the world. I marvel that more people are not clinically depressed or diagnosed with anxiety given the state of things.

As far as I can tell, my hope is thus a very present one: it is sparked by other humans who get together in groups to make life better for other people right now. Life can be terrible, miserable, and dark. The universe can seem vast and uncaring. But somewhere there’s a soup kitchen, and a coalition of people writing their government officials for more affordable housing supports, and they’re caring in this moment about the things that are also happening in this moment and the people who live around them now, and they are not deciding not to act because of a calculation based on a possible future outcome (although certainly that is part of their assessment of the situation, it is not the deciding factor). So I might not be part of those groups, but just knowing that they exist and are working towards justice but also being just now and kind now and acting with compassion now… maybe sometimes that’s what I need to hold on to in order to keep the dark at bay.

I want to write one more paragraph that talks about why then, for me, solarpunk is more oriented towards the now, not to the future. I think I needed to start with a solarpunk that dreamed of possible futures so that I could actually begin to see how I could work in the now, and solarpunk futurism gives me a goal. But personally, solarpunk presents is where it’s at.

—-

*I find it darkly funny that our next prime minister is almost guaranteed to be the alt-right-courting Conservative politician Pierre Poilievre, who has on many occasions criticized our current PM for weakening / destroying / doing bad things to our relationship with America (economic/political/etc). If Trump gets in, Polievre will have to deal with him first hand - and he will either welcome foreign troops with open arms (as many Canadians wish they were Americans, oddly enough) or bumble his way into being bravely run over by tanks.

**I remember interviewing my Beppe in grade three about her childhood experience of WWII and she talked about evacuating down roads where there were dead and bloated cows and human bodies (mostly soldiers) torn apart on the side of the road. Before the end of the war they were eating tulip bulbs and potato peelings in the basement of their home while Nazi troops occupied the main floor. Very apocalyptic. I figured everyone’s grandparents had stories like this, though, and by the time I was fourteen I was so sick of hearing about World War Two, because our history curriculum seemed kind of obsessed. I got it at home AND at school. Ugh, apocalypse, whatever, let me get back to reading my Animorphs plz.

[kroashent]

Val-Cula Daily - May 29

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Deep Dive: Stoker and Orientalism. This is gonna be a long one...

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The "Szgany" peoples are heavily featured in today's story, starting on an iconic, but often problematic association between the Romani ethnic group, the supernatural world, and Western European prejudices. The word Szgany appears to be Stoker's attempt to trasliterate a Romanian word, rather than one that existed in widespread use. There's a more in-depth deep-dive into this than I can provide here: https://screamscenepodcast.tumblr.com/post/699604864253214720/a-point-of-clarification-more-linguistics-cw

Its often said that the past is a foreign country and the context of Stoker's time, while it does not excuse the problems, might help inform them.

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Let's open this can of worms...

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Stoker lived and wrote in the 19th century, the height of an art-historical trend called Orientalism, a renewed Western interest in the Middle East and Islamic culture, brought about by changes to travel and communications technology. African colonization, increased trade and travel with North Africa, South Asia and the Ottoman empire, opened up Western European cultures to an entirely new set of cultures and aesthetics, and interest exploded.

From a cynical view, Orientalism is a problematic movement, a patronizing Colonial and Imperialist coinciding with racist depictions, exploitation and the forced homogenization of cultures resulting from the spread of European Colonialism in Africa and Southeast Asia. But it is also one of fascination and awe at new concepts of expression and thought, a genuine attempt to understand and adapt these expressions and cultures, but through a very removed and warped view brought on by Europe's own ethno-religious struggles, state/religious propaganda of earlier times, geographic distance and linguistic ignorance.

Orientalism was especially prevalent in France, where the Société des Peintres Orientalistes Français (Society of French Orientalist Painters) was founded a mere 4 years prior to Dracula's publication, inspired by French Colonial ties to Algeria and Morocco. French Orientalist painters could be split into two groups: Those who traveled, lived and worked in the areas they painted, and those who never left their own studios. The SPOF often held promotions and dinners, not just of French Orientalist painters, but also showcases of Islamic art, cuisine, language and culture. Similar trends existed in England, although to a lesser extent, and it is evident from Stoker's work that he was often exposed to these movements. The first unabridged and unexpurgated English Language editions of the seminal Orientalist collection, Tales of 1,001 Nights were published in 1882 and 1885, after earlier, heavily censored and altered versions had been in circulation up to that point.

While it is easy to dismiss the movement as another example of Western colonialism, it was also one driven by a genuine desire to understand and share the cultural beauty they encountered, albeit through the often blunt and blundering lens of Belle Epoque/Victorian society. Stoker is making a real attempt to showcase the peoples of Eastern Europe, commonly drawing on food, clothing and architecture in his drawings, but sometimes, as is the case with the Szgany, he falls flat to the standards of contemporary review.

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So, now that I've gotten everyone worked up over a 19th century artistic movement, how does the initial appearance of Dracula's "Gipsie" henchmen work out? I actually thought pretty well.

The Szgany have arrived to do some work for Drac, at which point I direct you to my earlier "Dracula is a crime lord of a technothriller. The Szgany are not following Dracula alone as a superstitious group, but one of a large network, including, but not limited to: A Romanian stagecoach line, a hotel, several British lawyers, several British realtors, a Russian shipping company, a British Zoo, a Bulgarian businessman, a pair of Hungarian Bankers, several British teamsters and a spider-eating man in a padded room. Its sort of weird how the Szgany get singled out, when its actually harder to find a group the ISN'T working for Dracula, however inadvertently. Drac's got connections, is my point.

Anyway, Jonathan writes some postcards to Mina and Hawkins, and drops them out a barred window with some gold. The Szgany turn them over to Dracula! A nefarious betrayal! Or is it?

Neither Jonathan, nor the Szgany share any language, as Jonathan points out when he drops some stuff without context or instruction on top of a caravaner's head. Seeing the crazy man throw things out a window shouting in a strange language, they turn them over to the homeowner, Dracula, for further instruction... which is probably what would have happened with a Romani trapped in an English Lord's remote castle as well, TBH. It doesn't go well.

The Count has come. He sat down beside me, and said in his smoothest voice as he opened two letters:—

"The Szgany has given me these, of which, though I know not whence they come, I shall, of course, take care. See!"—he must have looked at it—"one is from you, and to my friend Peter Hawkins; the other"—here he caught sight of the strange symbols as he opened the envelope, and the dark look came into his face, and his eyes blazed wickedly—"the other is a vile thing, an outrage upon friendship and hospitality! It is not signed. Well! so it cannot matter to us." And he calmly held letter and envelope in the flame of the lamp till they were consumed. Then he went on:—

"The letter to Hawkins—that I shall, of course, send on, since it is yours. Your letters are sacred to me. Your pardon, my friend, that unknowingly I did break the seal. Will you not cover it again?" He held out the letter to me, and with a courteous bow handed me a clean envelope. I could only redirect it and hand it to him in silence. When he went out of the room I could hear the key turn softly. A minute later I went over and tried it, and the door was locked.

Dracula is at his creepiest when he does something threatening but poses it as a "friendly" conversation.

[thornwolfy235]

WIP 5 - Panic Attack

I'm going to post a bunch of WIPs in a row now. maybe with a little feedback I'll get the gumption to finish one of them.

A bit of info on them first. I wrote all of these in an effort to deal with an exceptionally bad break-up (might as well call it a divorce, we lived together for 6 years). A lot of these are "how it should've gone" type stuff. I was never able to decide if they should be a full chapter by chapter "novel" or just a bunch of oneshots within the same universe and make a collection of them in order or whatever. Maybe I'll drop them to Ao3 as well. They are all xfem!Readers with my blorbos Grillby and Gaster (though most have no anatomy mentioned, so you can safely read no matter what gender you are). I'd appreciate a glance through if nothing else.

Here is the actual start to Grillby and Reader's realationship. And of course it starts with trauma and angst. But turns fluffy. Because I needed it.

CW: panic attacks, thoughts of self-harm but no follow through

You were spiraling, your thoughts spinning out of control. Anxiety over your mother’s health, stress from work, grief that never seemed to lessen…It was too much. Everything was too much. It was building up inside you, making your throat close up. You struggled to breath. You had to let it out, but there was so much inside you, an infection that had crept into every part of you and had festered and rotted so deeply that there was no easy way to root it out anymore. You stared at the kitchen counter even as your eyes blurred with tears. There were knives there, clean and sharp. A razor would be better, but you didn’t keep them around for this exact reason. But knives could work, too. They could open you up so the pressure could release, they could cut out the rot. You trembled. That was a bad thought, tempting but dangerous, could go wrong too easily. Your gaze shifted to the refrigerator. There was wine in there, some nearly untouched bottles. You didn’t drink often, maybe a glass once per blue moon, and more for the occasional taste than for the effects of the alcohol. It sometimes ended up in your cooking when you were feeling ambitious. You knew too much could mix badly with your medication. You had gotten lucky the last time you drank, when your ex had left you teetering alone on the edge of a panic attack just like this one. You had downed nearly an entire bottle in one go and passed out. You had done it because you hadn’t wanted to hurt yourself that time either, and had decided alcohol-induced unconsciousness was safer. Now at the same precipice, maybe it would be safer that way again.

You reached out and touched the fridge’s handle before forcing yourself to pull your hand back. You looked at the counter, at the black handles and shiny blades lined up neatly in their holder. “Bad…bad thoughts,” you muttered. Still staring at them, you reached into your pocket and took out your phone. Your hands shook violently as you dragged your attention to the screen, opened the call app, and then stared at the list of contacts. Who did you think you were going to call? You needed someone here, someone to hold you, ground you, talk you down, but your parents were out of town for your mom’s surgery, and your bestie didn’t live near you. Any geographically closer friends were probably asleep at this hour, and besides, you weren’t sure if they knew how to handle someone on the verge of a panic attack. You didn’t think they’d want to, anyways. You couldn’t burden them with your stupid issues. You weren’t worth it. You were so useless, you couldn’t even handle your own dumb emotions. You were broken, you always had been. Why ask someone else to try to fix you when you knew it was impossible?

You touched Grillby’s cell number, watched as the screen change to the calling icon. Why were you doing this?  He had told you to call if your ever felt unsafe, and you definitely did not feel safe right now, but this hadn’t been how he meant it. Calling about this…you were only going to annoy him. He didn’t want to hear about your problems. He wouldn’t want to be friends with you anymore if he knew just how screwed up you were. The call connected. You heard a faint, business-like “good evening” come from the speaker that was nowhere near your ear. “I-I’m so-orry,” you choked out.

You were about to hang up the call when you heard Grillby say your name. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Even though you could barely hear him, the worry was evident. Reluctantly, you brought the phone to your face, but when you tried to speak, a harsh sob came out instead. There was the sound of wood scraping against wood. “What happened?” he asked in a tone that, while not angry, demanded a real answer from you.

“I-I…I don’t thi-ink I should be alone r-right now,” you said, clenching your hand into a white-knuckled fist as you fought to keep from breaking down completely.

“Are you safe?” A door opened and closed in the background. “I d-don’t know…m-mostly? I-I think I’m a-about to have a-a panic at-t-tack,” you stammered. You wished you could speak clearer, but the nervous energy you were shivering with made it impossible.

“Where are you?” His voice sounded different, and you realized it was because he was outside.

“I-I’m sorry, I sh-shouldn’t have bothered you,” you said quickly only to be cut off.

“No, you did the right thing to call someone.”

“B-but the pub –”

“Is closed.” There was the sound of a car door opening and shutting. “Where are you?” he asked again.

“…H-home.”

“And where is that?” he prompted. You gave him your address. An engine started, and the quality of his voice changed once more. “I’ll be there in ten minutes, okay? I’m going to stay on the phone with you.”

“D-don’t…Y-you’ll get in tr-trouble…can’t d-drive while on the phone.”

“I’m on speaker. It’s okay,” he said gently, patiently. “You’ve had panic attacks before, I take it. Do they happen often?”

“U-us-sed to a lot…th-then got m-meds and therapy for it…s-stopped seeing th-therapist after learning to handle this-is better…” Your throat tightened suddenly, as though trying to prove you wrong.

“Keep talking. You’re doing good. Are you still taking that medication?” The strangling feeling subsided a little bit at the sound of Grillby’s voice.

“Y-yeah, ’s why I do-on’t drink,” you said. Answering his questions was keeping you focused, which was preventing you from fully shutting down. Did he have experience with this sort of thing?

“Good. You’re taking care of yourself. That’s very good. What is the medication for?” You didn’t want to answer, afraid he’d realize just how stupid and weak and damaged you were. “It’s alright. I won’t judge you or tell anyone else, I promise. What is it for?” he said as though he could read your mind.

You whimpered, still scared, but you heard yourself say, “Dep-pression a-and anxiet-ty. I-I was getting bet-t-ter, I had b-been better. Then it got re-eal bad again. I-I’ve been trying t-to find a new th-therapist, but it’s s-s-slow going.”

He made a soft, sympathetic sound. “I’m so sorry. That’s a hard combination to deal with, but I’m glad you have been seeking help with managing it. When did this start happening again?”

“A-after…after h-he…” You couldn’t bring yourself to talk about your ex. It made your stomach churn. You tasted bile at the back of your throat. “It’s okay, I understand. You don’t have to talk about him. Try to breathe slowly and relax. I’m almost there. Just hang on for a little bit longer. Can you go wait by the door to let me in?”

You tried to answer, but instead began coughing. You ran to the sink, anticipating throwing up, but ultimately just hacked up a small wad of bile that you spat down the drain. It was better than full-on hurling, but still left an awful taste in your mouth. The strain had made the tears start, leaving hot trails down your cheeks. God, why were you such a fuck-up? You couldn’t even keep your shit together for ten stupid minutes. Just another failure to add to the list. That’s all you were, just a string of –

Your name was practically shouted into your ear, startling you into almost dropping your phone. “Can you hear me?! Answer me, please!” Grillby’s voice was being undercut by the roar of…flames? You hadn’t heard that before now…

“I-I’m,” you coughed again, but thankfully nothing came of it, “M’here.”

He muttered something you couldn’t make out. “Okay, okay…You’re alright…Listen, I need you to focus for just a little longer, okay?”

“I-I’m sc-scared,” you whimpered.

 “I know. But you’re going to be okay. I’m just a few minutes away. You’re being so brave right now.”

“M’not bra-ave.” A hiccupping sob punctuated your last word. “Stupid a-and scar-red.”

“You’re not stupid. You called for help when you knew you needed it. That’s smart. And you are brave.”

“I’m w-weak. I ca-an’t handle my own sh-shit by mys-s-self.” The tears came harder, faster.

“That doesn’t make you weak. You’re not weak for being overwhelmed. You’re strong for reaching out. You don’t have to go through this alone. Especially now.”  You heard a car pulling up outside and the engine shutting off over the phone. “I’m here. I’m right across the street. Which door is yours?”

Right, duplex. You should have thought to tell him that. You couldn’t find your voice anymore, so you made a humming sound to let him know you heard him and stumbled to the front door, almost forgetting to undo the chain before opening it.

His flames were high and wild with a strange, sickly green tinge to them. The moment he saw you, he shoved his phone into his pocket and all but sprinted to you. You were suddenly in his arms, feet leaving the floor as his momentum carried both of you back into your kitchen. Your knees buckled when he set you down and you went to the floor, hunched over and hyperventilating, dropping your phone in favor of clutching your arms as the attack you had been fighting back finally began in earnest. He swore under his breath and you felt his heat fade, heard the door close – See? He’s leaving. He hates you now. – and then he was kneeling in front of you, his hands on your shoulders, warmth enveloping you.

“I’m here, I’m right here. You’re not alone anymore. Can you look at me?” he asked, voice firm but gentle as he tried to get you to sit up.

“C-cah…ca-an’t, can’t, can’tcantcant,” the word tumbled repeatedly from your lips, shaking intensifying. Your chest tightened painfully. It felt like someone was pushing against it, forcing the air out of your lungs, turning the useless word into even more useless squeaks. You dug your nails into your arms.

His hands covered yours, forcing his fingers under yours before you broke skin. “It’s okay, spark, it’s  okay,” he said, interrupting your chant. The feeling of vulnerability spiked as he uncrossed your arms, making your throat close off. You sat up abruptly, mouth open as you uselessly gasped for air. His hands went to your cheeks, forcing you to stay upright and looking into his face. “Focus on me. I’m here, you’re here, we’re safe. Don’t gulp for air. Take a slow breath. You can do it. Don’t shake your head at me, you can.” You managed a tiny breath. “There, good. Do that again. Very good! Take a longer one. Here, copy me.” He took a slow breath, held it, then let it out just as slowly. “Just like that. You can do it. Come on,” he urged. Your breaths were stuttery and gasping, not nearly as long or as smooth as his, but he praised you nonetheless. A rough, hiccupping sob interrupted you, making you screw your eyes shut. There was a sizzling hiss as new tears were forced down your cheeks and onto his hands.

Panic renewed, you tried to jerk away but he held you firm. You grabbed his wrists and tried to pry him off, but he refused to let you go. You heard more sizzling. “N-no, please. L-let go…’M hu-urting you,” you whined, clawing at his fingers. He had been nice enough to help you and now you were hurting him. That’s all you ever did, hurt the people –

“Stop, spark. It’s alright. Calm down. You’re doing so well, just breathe,” he tried to soothe you.

“H-hu-urting you, hurting you! I’msorry’msorrysorrysorry!” The wild crying began again, but instead of letting you go, he pressed his forehead to yours, filling your vision with his flames. Being this close let you see beyond the reflections in his glasses and to his eyes, steady, pale golden-yellow orbs in a sea of flickering orange. The effect was hypnotic, all your attention zeroing in on it.

“You’re not hurting me, I promise. You are not hurting me,” he said firmly. “I’m safe, you’re safe, we’re safe. Say it. ‘We are safe.’”

The tears still fell, but you managed to croak, “W-we-e ar-re sa-s-safe.”

“Good. That’s very good. Take a breath, now say it again,” he coached. He made you repeat both his words and his breathing over and over, praising you each time. It didn’t matter when you relapsed into sobs, how ragged the breathing, how garbled the words; He always responded with the same praise and encouragement.

The terrified tension slowly left you, and your hands slipped from his wrists as the numb exhaustion set in. The elemental eased you into a hug, pressing your head to his chest. With your ear to where his SOUL must be, you heard a similar roar to the one on the phone. His flames…he had been so worried by you that his flames had gone wild…They had looked so wrong when he arrived. He had been so upset, and you had been too lost in yourself to even realize it. Some friend you were. “I-I’m sorry,” you croaked, throat raw from your crying.

“Shhh, no, no…Don’t apologize, spark,” he murmured, petting your head.

“But I upset you…It’s so late and I bothered you.” Your voice was tired, all your emotions spent.

His grip on you tightened. “You didn’t bother me, and I would’ve been far more upset if you had decided to suffer alone or had hurt yourself. I’m glad you reached out for help, and I’m honored you trusted me enough to call.” You weren’t entirely sure if you believed that last bit, but you were too tired to argue.

“Thank you…for coming.”

“Of course. Let’s get you off the floor, and you should have some water after crying so long.” He helped you up, catching you as you swayed on your feet. There was something…odd in the way he held you to his chest as your vertigo passed, but you couldn’t quite tell what it was. Though…you did like it, the way his arms wrapped tightly around you, making you feel safe, protected, wanted. You were reluctant to leave his arms to go find a mug and get some water from the tap. You didn’t really want to drink it, feeling too drained to manage even that small action, but you knew you needed to rehydrate after bawling your eyes out. “Feel better?” Grillby asked as you put your mug into the sink to deal with later.

“Yeah…wrung out, but that’s pretty normal given…yeah…” you said tiredly, leaning on the counter.

“Understandable. Not to change topic, but…what is squeaking?” he asked.

You forgot your exhaustion in an instant. “Oh geez, Larkin must be having a fit!” you said, spinning on your heel and scooting past Grillby with a quick “Pardon!” as you scurried into the den.

Sure enough, Larkin was perched with her front paws on her water bowl, her soft wheeks warbling with worry. “Hey, fuzzy, it’s okay. I’m okay,” you cooed, opening her door. Her whines swapped to purrs as you scratched behind her ears, happy to let you scoop her up for snuggles. The moment she was close enough, she began licking your cheek, nose, and chin, making you smile and fight back giggles as her whiskers tickled you. When she paused, you buried your nose in her shoulder fur and breathed her in, the smell of hay and living animal making you feel a little more like you. “You probably want cuddles after listening to all of that, huh, piggo?” you said, snagging her lap-time towel. You turned and blushed as you saw Grillby in the doorway, who had just witnessed everything. “Sorry. Listening to me have a meltdown upset my guinea pig. Sitting with her for a bit should calm her down,” you explained, ducking your head bashfully as you made for the couch.

“That’s perfectly fine,” he said, following you, watching you sit cross-legged and settle her in the little valley made by your legs. Larkin stared up at you with bright black eyes, lifting her chin for scritchies, which you obliged.

“You can sit, if you like,” you offered shyly to Grillby, wondering if he thought you were crazy for how you fussed over the furry potato. The elemental did so, politely leaving a little space between you. The moment he sat down, Larkin wheeled around to glare at him, fluffing her fur up as she began chattering her teeth. “Larkin!” you scolded, recognizing the start of a warning display.

“Oh, did I frighten her?” Grillby asked, his flames dimming a little. “I-I am fire, and animals don’t like…”

“No. Well, alright, you may have startled her, but this reaction is the guinea pig equivalent of looking for a throw-down. Larkin, chill!” You tried rubbing behind her ears, normally a favorite spot, but she tossed her head in annoyance, now adding rumbles to her display. “Lark, what is the issue?! Grillby’s done nothing – Oh my god, I just figured out why she’s ticked. Really, pig? Really?” You ruffled the fur behind her shoulders, dragging her attention from him to you. She glared at you over her shoulder with a shrill wheek, annoyed that you wrecked her obviously terrifying performance. “Larkin, Grillby’s not the reason I’m upset. He didn’t make me cry, fuzzo. He’s very nice and came over to help me. Grillby’s a friend. You don’t have to protect me.” The grumping from her stopped as you talked, her eyes going from narrowed to normal. Her head angled towards him, clearly giving him the side-eye, fur still a little poofy. “Yes, him. He’s good. I promise.”

“She is…protecting you…” Grillby said skeptically, eyeing the two-pound rodent.

“Yeah…While my ex was still getting his junk out of my apartment, he would hang around for a bit and try to make nice with me, which I really didn’t want him to do, because he’d usually start in on how happy he was that I was being civil about him leaving me. Y’know, I hadn’t thrown his stuff out on the curb or whatever. Which maybe I should have because it took him a month and a half to get everything out, but I digress.” You sighed, rubbing behind the guinea pig’s ears as she deflated. “I always cried after he left because seeing him hurt so much, and it seemed like he was actively trying to make it hurt worse. Larkin put things together after the second time it happened and realized he was the cause. She started putting on the same show she just gave you whenever he came over. The message was ‘People who upset Mom will not be tolerated.’ And because I was having a freak out with you here, she must’ve decided it was your fault.”

Grillby stared at you for a long time before hesitantly saying, “Please don’t take offense to this. I want to say you’re jumping to conclusions, but…” He looked down at the guinea pig who was now lounging on her side and gazing at him curiously as though she hadn’t been gearing up to tear his head off – or at least deliver some very nasty bites – moments earlier. “…She certainly seems happier now that you’ve explained it to her…”

You snorted good-naturedly at that. “I get that a lot. I don’t believe she understands every word I say, but she – any animal, really – can certainly tell from my tone and body language how I’m doing. I just had to get her attention off you and onto me so I could show her that I was okay with you being here.” Now that you weren’t distracted by everything, you had a chance to actually look at him. He was still in his work clothes, though minus the vest and apron, his bowtie undone but still caught in his shirt collar. “I…I’m sorry again for interrupting your night.”

He shook his head. “Please don’t apologize. Truly, you did nothing wrong. I was doing a little paperwork when you called, and I certainly don’t mind getting away from that.” You laughed as he intended. He sat back, his arm across the couch behind you. “I am happy I could help you.” Worn out but content, you found yourself leaning towards him. It wasn’t a conscious thing, but he was so warm, and you were so tired. His arm slid from the back of the couch to around your shoulders, guiding you to rest your back against his side. You automatically relaxed against him, feeling safe. He held out his other hand for Larkin to sniff. She did so eagerly, was let down to find it didn’t have food, and settled back down with a huff. He used a finger to rub her forehead, which made up for some of her disappointment. “Do you want to talk about what happened?” he asked softly.

You sighed, closing your eyes. “No, but I probably should.”

((needs stuff))

“Will you be alright sleeping alone?” Grillby asked. Abruptly his flames tinted blue. “It’s not, ah…I’m not trying to get in bed with you, but it’s just…”

“I understand,” you said, sparing him from any more embarrassment. “After he left me…hell, even when we were still ‘together’ but he was…away…I used to sleep on the couch. Listening to Larkin doing her thing…you know, munching on her kibble or her hay, playing with her toys, chatting to herself…It helped a little. Sounds of normalcy, of life helped me relax and sleep. Also helped when I woke up from a bad dream or whatever, just to know everything was okay. You’ve…probably had those nights, too, yeah?”

He gave you a sad smile. “Yes. There have been many times I needed to know that the people I cared about were safe or that I wasn’t alone before I could rest. I thought it might help you now…to know that you aren’t alone, I mean.”

“I…I don’t know. I mean, it would help, but I can’t think of any arrangement that wouldn’t be awkward. Sleeping in my bed together might be weird, but I’d feel really bad sleeping on the couch and making you sleep on the floor.”

“And I certainly wouldn’t let you sleep on the floor,” he said. “I won’t force you to share your bed, but I promise I would not touch you if you did,” he added softly.

“Oh, that…that isn’t the problem. I mean, I-I wouldn’t bed down with a stranger, but I’ve, uh, I’ve never minded sleeping with friends in a cuddle-pile, you know? I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I don’t know if you minded that, or if Monsters…i-if it would be…” You focused on your hands, picking nervously at your nails. “If you minded being that close to a human,” you finished reluctantly.

His hand covered yours. “I don’t mind. You are my friend. I feel as safe with you as you do with me.”

“Then I guess we can share,” you said with a shy smile. You turned to Larkin, who had been snuffling through her hay pile while you talked. At her name, she perked up and came over to the cage bars. “Good night, Larky. Sweet dreams,” you cooed, giving her a nose boop. She narrowed her eyes at you, irritated with you for distracting her with such foolishness, before waddling back to her hay. You smiled to yourself as you turned off the lights, briefly confused that it wasn’t as dark as it should be until remembering Grillby was literal fire. Or magical fire. You weren’t completely sure which way it went, not that it really mattered.

He followed you to the bedroom where you both stood looking at your unmade bed. “Sorry it’s a mess. I didn’t think I’d have anyone I’d need to straighten it up for,” you said, embarrassed.

“It’s not a problem,” Grillby answered, touching your back lightly. Somehow that touch calmed you more than his words did. “Which side do you prefer?”

“Closer to the door, if that’s okay. Oh, um, are you okay sleeping in your clothes? I have some oversized shirts and sweatpants if you wanted to change.”

“A different shirt would be nice, thank you.”

“Yeah, just a sec.” You grabbed a shirt from your pajama drawer, not looking to see which one it was. When you turned back, you found him regarding your large, somewhat squashed hamster plush. “I, uh, I like to cuddle things when I sleep,” you said, embarrassment mounting further.

“That’s quite alright, spark,” he said gently as he took the shirt. You quickly stepped out so he could change, still blushing. You were starting to feel nervous about this. What would he think of all your dumb quirks? Did he think you were childish for still sleeping with a plush? You had already decided to forgo listening to music the way you normally did, afraid of annoying him. Your close friends all happily accepted your idiosyncrasies as a part of who you were, but what if he didn’t? You didn’t think you were that close…even though you had called him for help…why had you done that, anyway? It had felt like the right thing to do in the moment, almost instinctive. But now that you thought about it, it seemed odd. And he kept calling you ‘spark.’ That was new…

“‘Steam Powered Giraffe?’” you heard him ask. You peeked around the door to find he was changed and now looking down at the logo on the shirt.

“They’re a band. You might actually like their music. It’s a little bit of everything, some jazz, some folk, some light rock,” you said, trying not to stare. You’d only ever seen him in his bar-tending attire, crisp and clean and admittedly handsome. Now a little more casually dressed, he still managed to look good. The shirt was large even on him, but instead of looking disheveled, he simply looked relaxed. He looked like…your heart gave a painful pang. He looked like he could belong in your life. You shoved the thought away. That wasn’t something to think about right now. Or ever.

“I’ll look into them, then,” he said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Do you need a charger for your phone? I have spare cables for just about any make and wall adapters,” you offered, shaking off your longing.

“Yes, thank you.” He told you what plug his phone had and you grabbed the right cable and adapter from your nightstand’s drawer. “Always so prepared?” he teased.

“When it comes to electronics, yes. I have back-ups for my back-ups. Never know when a cable will decide to stop working.” You sat on your side of the bed, your back to him, and grabbed your hamster plush to cuddle. Why did this feel normal and awkward at the same time? You remembered another of your quirks to warn him about. “Oh, um, another thing about me. I don’t snore, but sometimes I…I hum in my sleep.”

“You hum?” He sounded genuinely curious.

“Yeah, I always have. Sometimes I can hear myself doing it, though I can’t always stop it. I think…I think it’s because I tend to have vivid dreams and I’m trying to talk in my sleep, but I never quite get there. It’s that or I’m having a nightmare and I’m trying to wake myself up. But I’m sorry in advance.”

“Please don’t worry so much. It’s alright.” You felt the bed shift and then his hand on your back again. “Let’s get some rest, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” you said, looking over your shoulder at him. His expression was soft and kind, completely understanding of your nervousness. You calmed a little at it. He hadn’t judged you so far and it didn’t seem like that was going to change.

He turned to take off his glasses, and you took it as your cue to do the same. You laid down facing the wall, feeling the bed shift as he got comfortable as well. His body gave off enough heat that you didn’t feel the need to pull up your blankets, though you did tuck your feet under them, knowing if any part of you was going to get cold, it would be your toes. You tried to relax, but your mind felt like it was going a million miles a second. Did he need the blankets? Could fire elementals get cold? Would he be upset if you cuddled against him? You wouldn’t do it on purpose, but you knew you tended to gravitate towards warm things in your sleep. Did he sleep on his side like you, or his back? Was this awkward for him?

“I can feel you thinking,” he said quietly, making you go rigid.

“S-sorry!” you squeaked.

He chuckled softly, and you felt the bed shift and then a hand between your shoulder blades. “You’re fine, spark. Sleep,” he murmured, fingers rubbing slow, lazy circles. You had relaxed at his touch alone, and the continued ministrations combined with the warmth and soft crackle of his flames soon had you drifting off.

Almost immediately you were plunged into a nightmare. Of course it didn’t start as such; they never did.

((needs stuff))

Your eyes were open – you could see your ceiling – but the dream continued, now projected onto the cracked, off-white paint. You could hear your hums and whines, but you couldn’t wake up. Your body was frozen, and despite you making noise it felt like you couldn’t breathe. You tried to relax, knowing if you just could do that you’d be able to breath, but your chest only continued to tighten, making your terror worsen, making your chest tighten further, and the vicious cycle began.

“Shh-shh, you’re alright, you’re safe,” a sleepy voice startled you into taking a gasping breath. You jolted into a half-sitting position, leaning on your elbows as you panted. Warm arms encircled you, pulling you back down. You mewled in fright and struggled to free yourself, the nightmare too fresh in your mind. “Easy, easy… No one’s going to hurt you, everything’s okay,” the voice continued, the arms getting tighter around you. Reality finally set in. Grillby. It was just Grillby. You were awake and it was just Grillby. “That’s right, it’s just me. I have you,” he said gently. You hadn’t realized you’d said anything out loud. You turned and threw your arms around him, burying your face into his chest as your tears came. “Oh! Oh, spark…It’s okay. Everything’s okay,” he cooed. He eased the two of you back down, ending up on his back with you tucked firmly against his side, his arm under your neck and around your back. Your head rested on his shoulder, one arm curled to your chest while the other rested on his, hand clutching his shirt.

“I-I’m sorry,” you whimpered, only for him to shush you.

“Shh, it’s alright. This is why I wanted to stay with you.” His other hand found its way to your head and began slowly petting it. You cuddled closer against him. “That’s it, get comfy. Warm enough? Good. Do you want to talk about it? Or are you okay to go back to sleep?”

“I-I’m scared the nightmare will come back,” you whispered.

“Don’t be. It can’t hurt you. And if it does come back, I’m here to chase it away again.” He shifted a little and you felt something touch your forehead briefly. Did he just…kiss you? He was talking again before you could fully process what had happened, the soft rumble of his voice in his chest against your ear lulling you back towards sleep. “I won’t let anything happen to you. Just relax and rest. I’ll keep you safe, I promise.”

((needs stuff))

Grillby sat up, pausing to look at you. Angel above, you were cute, curled around your much-loved plush with your hair half-covering your face. He couldn’t resist brushing it back to reveal your calm expression. You looked so at peace. He wished you looked like that when you were awake. Even at your happiest, there was always a tension in you, like you were expecting the world to collapse around you at any second. Though, that did make sense as he thought about it; That was essentially what had happened to you when your previous relationship had ended.

((needs stuff))

He needed to clear his thoughts. He liked you, that much he was certain of. When it had happened, he wasn’t entirely sure, but at some point his SOUL had decided that you belonged with them. It pulsed happily every time he saw you enter his pub, sending unconscious flicks of yellow through his flames. The sheer contentedness it felt from simply having you where he could keep a careful eye on you settled him, and it was hard to keep his flames from dimming with his SOUL’s disappointment when you left. His SOUL wanted you near all the time, not out of some strange possessive streak or the belief you needed protecting, but purely because it liked seeing you relaxed and happy. He liked that, too, though it had taken him longer to realize that it wasn’t just from pride at having an establishment where everyone felt safe to unwind. The more time he spent around you, the more he wanted to do…well, more. He wanted to hold your hand, pet your hair, murmur gentle things into your ear.

Last night had been nice. Not the parts where you had been terrified, Angel above, no. He never wanted to hear you cry like that, see the absolute panic in your eyes, feel your body shaking so hard, ever again. But after, having you relaxing against him on the couch, comforting you after your nightmare, cuddling you as you fell back asleep…He’d wanted to do those things for a long time. He loved you.

The trouble was he couldn’t tell if you felt the same. Oh, he knew you felt calmer in his presence, but that didn’t tell him or his SOUL much. You didn’t flirt, or at least not as far as he could tell. The few times you’d mentioned you wanted to reenter the dating scene but were still too nervous to seemed more like a confession than an insinuation. But there were times he’d catch you absently watching him with a soft, distant look in your eyes, like there was something you wanted but wouldn’t ask for. The only hint he had that you might be interested in something more was that when the place was empty and quiet enough for your ever-present defenses to lower, you would ask him about himself. Nothing prying or uncomfortable, but clearly things you had been mulling over for a while. The one that stood out to him the most was when you had asked if you could touch his hand. It was the first truly personal thing you’d ever asked of him, and the way you had phrased the request had stuck with him. You hadn’t asked if he would be too hot or would burn you. You had asked what it would feel like, and when he had offered you his hand, you hadn’t hesitated. When he had stoked himself hotter to show you that he wouldn’t burn you or anything he didn’t want to, you hadn’t recoiled in fright. You’d been fascinated to learn how much intent affected magic, and amazed by his control, though it was really nothing impressive to him.

(Something about that nudged at the shadow of a memory in his mind, but it flitted away before he could grasp it.)

((needs stuff))

Consciousness eased its way into your mind. Stretching a leg, you were surprised to feel the edge of the bed with your foot. Why were you so close to the edge? You rolled over and sighed into the pillows. The tinge of wood-smoke caught your attention. Why would you smell…Last night came back to you in bits and pieces, but primarily the image of a fire elemental sitting on the edge of your bed, smiling softly at you, and later that same elemental cuddling you after your nightmare/sleep paralysis episode. So where was he now? Had he just…left…at some point? Though he wasn’t under any obligation to stay with you until you woke up, the thought that he left without a word…hurt more than you thought it would.

 “Grillby?” you called softly, feeling a little silly about doing so.

 “Out here, spark.” The relief you felt when you heard him respond turned your tense muscles into jelly for a moment. You grabbed your glasses and stumbled out of bed and into the kitchen to find him sitting at your table, hands wrapped around a steaming mug. He looked at you with a smile. “Good morning, sleepyhead,” he teased, affection in his golden eyes.  Hold up, his eyes?

“Y-your…You aren’t wearing your glasses,” you said, confused.

He straightened and touched his face as though confused, and then a little flick of blue went through his flames as he laughed awkwardly. “Ah, I…I don’t use them to correct my sight. You know how my glasses reflect my flames? I wear them as I don’t…generally like people being able to see my eyes.”

“O-oh, I’m sorry!” you said, quickly looking at the floor.

Grillby just chuckled again. “It’s alright. I don’t mind you seeing them. You’re my friend.”

Nervously, almost not quite believing him, you looked back up into his face again. His flames brightened when you did, tingeing yellow with happiness. This felt like it was something more than just a friendship. It felt…bigger. You chewed on your lip before deciding you had to say something. “Grillby…not only did you come when I called, you stayed with me all night, even through my dumb nightmare…and you kept – keep – calling me ‘spark’…Something…changed last night, didn’t it?”

He stiffened, his flames dimming and curling closer to his form. It seemed like he was trying to make himself as small as possible. After a moment he sighed, flames fluffing out again, and sagged into his chair. “Yes. And I’m afraid it’s my fault.” He motioned to the other chair. “Sit, and I’ll explain.”

You did so, nervously playing with a loose thread on your sleeve. He took a breath, as though about to say something, but then sighed again and dropped his gaze to the table. “Did I do something wrong?” you asked, breaking the tense silence.

Immediately his head shot up. “Oh, no, no! Not at all, spark. I just…I haven’t been completely honest with you, and I feel bad for that, though I don’t know if I would change anything if I could do it over. You see…” He paused and leaned back in his chair, clearly thinking. “How do you feel around me?”

“Um…good? I’m comfortable? I mean, you’re my friend, so…” You drifted off,  a little confused.

“But it’s not just that, is it?” he asked, looking at you intently. “You’ve always felt at ease with me, trusted me. Think of when we first met. I’m a fire Monster, and you weren’t afraid of me or my touch.” “I wasn’t afraid of anyone there that night,” you countered, though he did have a point. A human should be afraid of a walking fireball purely on principle, but you hadn’t even considered that he might burn you until much later, and even then you had dismissed the concern easily.

“You told me everything you had been through, even though we had just met,” he continued seriously, hinting at…something…

“Well, aren’t people supposed to tell bartenders their issues?” you tried to joke, but it felt hollow. You sighed. “No, I-I’m sorry. You’re…you’re right. I feel so…at peace with you, like nothing bad could possibly happen if you’re around. I don’t want to keep anything from you. It’s almost like I can’t, that it would be wrong to not let you see…all of me. You’d see through any act I tried to put on anyways, but that’s not a bad thing because it’s you. No matter what, I’m…I’m safe when I’m with you.”

“Yes,” he said softly. “You and I…What do you know about SOULs?”

“Not much. I, um, I did try going to the library to learn more, but a-a lot of it went right over my head. The only book I really understood was one for Monster kids…” you admitted, a little embarrassed.

He nodded, more to himself. “I can teach you later. It’s not necessary to know everything to understand this.” He sighed, looking down at his hands. “You and I are SOULkin. Humans would refer to it as ‘kindred spirits.’ Our SOULs…compliment? No…they resonate with each other. We naturally gravitate towards one another because our SOULs know the other will understand and support us. It’s instinctive, almost ingrained, in us to seek out the other, especially in times of stress.” He paused. You thought about how often you went to the pub, how just sitting at the bar while he worked was enough to settle whatever nerves had been bothering you, how quickly you had calmed in his presence during your first visit, how you had called him when at your worst.

 “I did not tell you this, however, and maybe I should have,” he continued. “At first, it was simply because I didn’t think it was terribly important for you to know. People, Human and Monster, can have multiple SOULkin. It’s a relatively common bond, though that doesn’t make it any less special. But as time went on, I began to feel differently toward you. You are so naturally kind and patient and giving. You care so much and so easily for those around you. You feel so deeply, and you aren’t afraid of those feelings. You may try to hide your pain, fear, and grief from others, but you don’t hide yourself from them. You accept them and feel them as deeply as any joy. I admire you for that.”

“Grillby,” you started, embarrassed and a bit alarmed by the sudden praise, but he held up a hand.

“It took me some time to realize that I…I liked you. I had fallen in love with you. After that, I didn’t tell you about us being SOULkin because I was afraid you’d feel obligated to love me back. After what you’d been through, I didn’t want you to feel pressured into a new relationship, especially if you weren’t ready for one. Even when it seemed like you might have feelings for me, I didn’t say anything because I was worried about accidentally pushing you.” He took a shuddering breath, his composure slipping. “When you called me last night…When I saw you…There was so much hurt in you that I hadn’t known was there, that I hadn’t seen…I was so afraid…I-I thought you were going to fall down.”

“‘Fall down’?” you repeated.

He looked at you. You didn’t know if fire elementals could cry, but it looked like he was going to. “Die. When a Monster falls down, they die.” Your heart skipped a beat. Even if you hadn’t been thinking of ending it all, the ‘coping’ methods you had considered could just as easily have led to that by mistake. “I was so afraid I was going to lose you, such a wonderful friend and an amazing person…to never get to tell you how I felt…I wanted to take the hurt and fear from you, to give you strength and hope, to show you just how loved you are…and so my SOUL attempted to form a SOULbond with yours.”

“A-a…a what?” Anxiety was beginning to form a knot in your stomach.

“It’s…a deeper connection than the passive SOULkin bond. It’s a Bond that is actively formed between SOULs that care deeply for one another. My SOUL wanted to form it with yours because it wanted to help you, to help your SOUL, but to try it while you were so distressed…” He trailed off.

“Is that…a bad thing?” You felt a little overwhelmed by what he was saying.

“The Bond itself is not, but doing it so suddenly and without you knowing or understanding it is. Even though there was no malicious intent behind the action, a Bond isn’t something that should be formed spur-of-the-moment. But my SOUL wanted to…I wanted to…I was so…” He stared at his hands as he struggled to find the right words. “Maybe I should have just told you about being SOULkin from the start, or at least told you how I felt before now. Maybe I would have seen just how much you were holding inside, or maybe just being with you could somehow have kept everything from getting so bad…Maybe what happened last night wouldn’t have happened. But I am sorry for keeping everything from you, even if I was doing so with the best of intentions.”

“O-oh…wow…that’s…a-a lot to process…” you said, leaning back in your own chair.

“I understand. Please take your time. Would…would you like me to leave so you can think in peace?” He looked hurt by his own offer, but you didn’t doubt he would go if you told him to.

“No, please don’t,” you quickly said, leaning forward and reaching out to him, though you stopped part way, not entirely certain if he’d want you to touch him after all those revelations. Your hand rested on the table between you. It looked lonely to you, but you left it there, lost as to what you should be doing. “Did…my SOUL react to the Bond?”

“It very nearly accepted it. I don’t know if it was going to because it wanted to or if in the moment it felt it needed to, but I pulled back before you did something without meaning to.” That thought lingered for a moment before he added, “However, if did you want to, I would very much like to be your Bonded.”

“What does that mean, though? I don’t know i-if I understand…”

“It’s…” He looked at the ceiling as though the answer would be there. “I guess a human might liken it to dating or having a very deep friendship, but more…solid. It comes with a promise of certainty, that both will always be connected. It’s for the very closest of friends or those in love, and well…I love you.”

You struggled to absorb that. It seemed too unreal that someone like him – self-assured, calm, and put-together – could feel that way for someone like you – anxious, flighty, and a spazz. “So…I don’t even know how to phrase this…Are the feelings the SOULkin-resonance-thing creates real? Or are we…I guess just…compelled to care for each other because of them?”

“I believe them to be real,” he said gently, earnestly, leaning forward to finally put his hand on yours. “I do not feel like I was forced to come to you when you called me, or forced to stay with you after to ensure you had recovered. You needed someone to be there, and I wanted to be that person. You may have called me simply because your SOUL recognized I was someone safe to be with when you were vulnerable, but I hope you know that I am even without its influence.”

You turned that thought over in your mind. It was hard untangling your own emotions, but you couldn’t imagine Grillby just ignoring someone’s call for help. He may put on an aloof air sometimes behind the counter, but you knew just how attentive he was to all of his patrons. He would do anything to ensure their comfort, and not just because they were paying customers. He’d been kind to you right from the start, a strange human having a meltdown that he could have just kicked out, but instead did whatever he could to help you calm down and inviting you to share your problems, going so far as to let you stay after the place had closed so you could tell them in private, even giving you his phone number and offering you a safe place to stay. Your hurt and fear hadn’t been a burden, but something to be cared for.

Grillby cared, and he was asking you to be a bigger part of his life because he cared.

“What changes between us if I accept the Bond?” you asked.

“Nothing much, or not to a Monster, at least. It will probably be a little more to a human. We would be able to better perceive and understand the other’s emotions when near to each other, making it easier to support the other in times of need, which was why my SOUL attempted it in the first place. At a distance, we would be able to push thoughts or feelings back and forth. Nothing so grand as telepathy, but simple things like ‘happy,’ ‘sad,’ ‘love.’ It will naturally encourage our relationship to deepen along with our understanding of the other, and it will provide the security of knowing that someone will always be in your corner.”

You hesitated to ask, worried about offending him, but this felt like a huge deal and something you needed to know as much about as possible. “Can it be…ended?”

If he was hurt by the question, he didn’t show it. “Yes, though it is rare for that to happen.”

“Okay…I-I don’t know if this is off-topic, but what are ‘soulmates,’ then? O-or is that an entirely human construct?”

His flames tinted slightly blue. “That usually happens after SOULbonded become…deeply intimate.”

“Oh…Oh!” You clapped your hand over your mouth before you could say anything else humiliating.

He laughed, waving off your embarrassment. “It’s alright. Most Bonded end up as Mates, but it will not pressure us to become that if you don’t want it. Such feelings tend to bloom when you are connected to someone so deeply, but it can remain platonic if you wish. Being Mates doesn’t have to be physical either, though it frequently goes in that direction. It happens when Monsters…people trust each other enough to allow the other to see and touch their SOUL, which you can likely imagine is as intimate as sex, if not more so.”

You hesitated, too nervous to look at him. “I-is…is that something what you want? To be Mates?”

“Someday, and, admittedly, in the physical sense as well as the SOUL sense,” he said, soft but certain. “But that isn’t something that has to be decided right away. There’s no time limit, and I would not push you one way or the other. I simply want to be with you, to be a bigger part of each other’s life.” You believed him, that he would allow you to make that choice when the time came, and it didn’t seem like he wanted to rush to it either. Which was good, because while you were potentially interested in things turning physical, you would certainly need time to get used to being in a relationship again, much less adjust to the whole SOULbonded-thing. You took a breath. “So how do I accept the Bond?”

His hand tightened on yours slightly, his flames becoming brighter. “Please, don’t force yourself to. You don’t need to do this on my account.” He sounded both anxious and eager. How long had you both been pining for each other without saying anything?

“I know, but…I love you as well. I-I was scared to admit it to myself, especially after…everything. I was afraid I was grabbing onto the first person who genuinely seemed to care about me. I don’t become infatuated easily, so I was worried by how quickly I felt myself wanting to be closer to you, but maybe being SOULkin was what was helping that along. I-I don’t know…I just knew that being around you felt good…natural. You were someone I could banter with but also be real with. I didn’t feel like I had to try to impress you or hide how weird I could be, and letting you see when I was hurting didn’t feel like I was being weak or making myself vulnerable. You didn’t try to make me hide my sadness away, or fix it, or hand out platitudes the way a lot of people did. You sympathized without trying to make me feel better, which ironically made me feel way better than anyone else had. You listen to my ramblings not out of politeness, but because you value what I’m thinking.” You laughed, embarrassed, knowing you were currently rambling. “You were even okay when I just wanted to be around without interacting, which is something a lot of my friends don’t quite understand. I also think you’re very kind. You’re funny, and clever, and so patient. You’re so attentive to the world around you, you see things I never would. I admire you, too, and I want to spend more time with you, and not with a counter between us. I love you, I want to be with you, and I want to be your Bonded. So how do I do that?”

He searched your eyes for a moment before you felt something…shift. It felt like something was very lightly touching your chest, just over your heart, though neither of you had moved. “You only need to say ‘yes.’” There was so much hope in his voice. Abruptly you realized that he was just as vulnerable as you had been last night. He had let his guard down and was inviting you in, asking you to share his life because he wanted you to be a part of it. He wanted you, flaws and quirks and all, because he loved you.

“Then…yes.” The pressure on your chest increased, and you felt something in you seem to pull towards it. You glanced down, expecting to see something, but nothing was there. “Grillby?” you whispered, suddenly nervous.

“It’s alright, sweet spark. Don’t be afraid,” he said gently.

You felt more defenseless than you had been last night, and despite his words, you were afraid. What if he Bonded with you and then learned something about you he didn’t like? What if you were about to trap him with you, about to make all of your problems his? You still had so many things you needed to work out, so much emotional and mental baggage, and here you were about to dive right back into uncertainty, into a relationship that was clearly bigger than you understood. It was too much too soon. You clutched your chest over where the pressure was and curled in on yourself. “W-wait, I’m sorry! I can’t!” you gasped.

Immediately the pressure was gone and Grillby was kneeling beside you. “Relax, you’re alright. No one’s making you do this. It’s okay. I promise it’s okay,” he assured you. One hand rested on your knee and the other was on your back, warm and comforting without making you feel trapped.

“I-I thought I could…but I…I don’t think…I’m not ready. I’m sorry. God, I’m so, so sorry,” you whispered, mortified by your reaction. Grillby was so good to you, so sweet and caring…How could you reject him?

“Look at me, spark, please. You aren’t in trouble,” he soothed, his hand rubbing gentle circles on your back. You didn’t want him to see the tears that were welling up in your eyes, but you obeyed. “It’s okay if you aren’t ready –”

“No, it isn’t!” you said, interrupting him. “I said I would be your Bonded, and now I’m saying I won’t! I’m sorry for changing my mind, I’m not trying to be wishy-washy, I just –”

“Did you change your mind?” he asked, his turn to interrupt you. “You said you weren’t ready, not that you didn’t want to be my Bonded. That’s not changing your mind; that’s needing time. I understand that. We can still spend that time together, getting to know each other better, until you are ready.”

“Grillby,” you whimpered weakly. Your ex had always told you that you were being indecisive when you asked for time to think before making big choices, but Grillby…didn’t think that? You slid out of your chair to join him on the floor, wrapping your arms around him as you pressed your head into his shoulder. He held you close, resting his cheek against your temple. “I’m sorry. I-I…I was afraid you’d hate being with me. There’s so much I’m still dealing with in my head, so much I’m still sorting through and trying to get over. I didn’t want to burden you.”

“Shh, don’t apologize. There’s nothing you have to be sorry for,” he murmured, rocking you. “I don’t see you as a burden. I want to be there to help and support you.”

You nodded into his shoulder, sniffling. “I know…I just…I want to have more of myself sorted before doing anything so big and real…C-can…I still want…I-I don’t know if it’s okay to in Monster culture, but…Can we still try dating, e-even if I’m not ready to become your SOULbonded?”

“Oh, sweet spark, you misunderstand!” he laughed, sounding relieved. “I’m so sorry! I should’ve been clearer. Dating and Bonding aren’t mutually exclusive for Monsters. We can take our time and get to know each other better first. It’s probably better that way, too. I didn’t mean to imply that we had to Bond just to go out.” He eased you back so he could look into your face, absolutely beaming.  “I would love to date you.” He lifted a hand, letting you see it before touching your cheek, tenderly wiping away your tears. “May I kiss you?” You gave him a watery smile and nodded. He leaned down, the hand still behind you pulling you closer, and pressed his lips to yours. Much like his hands, his lips had the same soft-but-solid-heat feeling but with a little more give. There was no force behind it, no demand for more than that gentle kiss. He let you be the one to decide how long to hold it for, and when you did break it, he rested his forehead to yours. “I am here for you, sweet spark. For everything.”

“Thank you,” you breathed, giving him another soft kiss. “I love you.”

The fire elemental cradled you to his chest, warmth engulfing you like a soft blanket. “I love you, too.”

[dolvisbio]

Third party manufacturing pharma companies in Chandigarh

Your Guide to Third-Party Manufacturing Pharma Companies in Chandigarh

The pharmaceutical industry is in constant flux. This reason alone has led the third-party manufacturing industry to grow tremendously. A city synonymous with medical and pharmaceutical services, Chandigarh is one such place where the most popular third-party manufacturing pharma companies can be found. These companies not only ensure qualitative pharmaceutical products, but the solutions they scale up become available for expanding businesses on a wider product offering without expensive manufacturing facilities being in place. In this blog, let's delve into the details of how Chandigarh is a prime location for pharma third-party manufacturing, to identify the suitable manufacturing partners and reasons why a company like Dolvis Bio Pharma stands out.

Why Consider Third-Party Manufacturing in Pharma?

Third-party manufacturing, sometimes referred to as contract manufacturing, allows pharmaceutical companies to focus on other aspects of business while outsourcing their production to dedicated manufacturers. It offers several advantages:

Cost Effectiveness: Setting up and maintaining a manufacturing facility requires a lot of capital investment. If the companies consider third-party manufacturing, it can significantly reduce overhead costs by allowing them to invest further in marketing, distribution, and innovation.

Scalability: The third-party manufacturing allows the pharmaceutical companies to scale their production up or down as per the demand, so it is a flexible solution.

Quality Assurance: Reputed third-party manufacturers have sophisticated facilities and maintain quality standards at par, thereby delivering quality pharmaceutical products.

Focus on Core Competencies: The pharmaceutical companies can concentrate on core activities such as R&D, branding, and sales by outsourcing the production.

Easy access to the market: Through third party manufacturers, pharma products can hit the markets as soon as possible.  There is no delay based on facility setup and final approval.

Why Chandigarh for Third Party Manufacturing of Pharma?

Third party manufacturing pharma companies in Chandigarh have emerged as an apt location. It enjoys favorable geographical conditions, top-rated infrastructure, and well-informed workforces.  Some of the most interesting factors for this city in this context are given:

Strategic Location: Chandigarh is well connected to other parts of India, which makes it a convenient base for distribution across the country.

Pharma Cluster: Chandigarh and the surrounding regions, like Baddi, have a concentration of pharmaceutical companies, creating a supportive ecosystem for third-party manufacturing.

Regulatory Compliance: Pharma companies in Chandigarh are known for their adherence to regulatory standards, ensuring that they produce high-quality, compliant products.

The well-qualified workforce that education institutions in Chandigarh produce makes it easy to identify and retain good talent among the employees of companies

Selecting a Good Third party manufacturing pharma companies in Chandigarh

As the quality, consistency, and compliance are major aspects with third-party manufacturing, these will be the deciding factors during the selection process. Key factors to be considered are as follows while choosing third-party manufacturing pharma companies in Chandigarh.

Certifications and Compliance: Ensure the certifications WHO-GMP, ISO, and other regulatory approvals have been in place. All these confirm that a particular company meets certain high levels of standards.

 Range of Products: Be sure that you get a partner specialized in the range of products to be manufactured, that is tablets, capsules, syrups, injections, or specific formulations.

Quality: Quality is paramount in this drug industry. Thus, ensure the company has highly efficient quality control processes, starting with raw material sourcing to packaging of the final product.

Scalability and Capacity: Evaluate the production capacity of the company in order to verify if they meet your current and future needs without sacrificing the quality.

Transparency and Communication: In this, the communication or the transparency of procedures and timelines and costs which one can get for a potential association with the company have been clearly communicated. Hence it should be ensured by making proper checks that it notifies regularly and has that very accessible team.

On-Time Delivery: The need to ensure timely delivery holds quite paramount. A suitable supply chain by the production will help ensure that its finished products are delivered to market promptly.

Dolvis Bio Pharma is one of the third-party pharma manufacturers in Chandigarh. It is a trusted and reliable partner. Dolvis Bio Pharma offers a wide range of pharmaceutical solutions, with a reputation for quality, efficiency, and adherence to regulatory standards. Here are some reasons why Dolvis Bio Pharma is an excellent choice for third-party manufacturing:

WHO-GMP Certified Facilities: Dolvis Bio Pharma works from a facility certified under WHO-GMP which provides highest quality and assurance.

Product Range: With its tablets, capsules to injections, syrups, ointments etc., the product range that Dolvis Bio Pharma follows is really very wide so that the company caters to several therapeutic areas.  Team: The organisation consists of an experienced team of skilled professionals with experience of several years in the manufacturing of pharmaceuticals and regulatory affairs.

Utilisation of High Technology: Dolvis Bio Pharma employs the latest technology with very sophisticated machinery in delivering pharmaceutical goods of very high quality at very competitive prices.

Continues Innovations: Dolvis Bio Pharma spends much on research and development, thus keeping abreast of all the latest trends in the pharmaceutical industry, thus delivering novel solutions to the client.

Flexible Manufacturing: Dolvis Bio Pharma offers the ability to undertake small and large quantities depending on the needs of its clients.

Advantages of third-party manufacturing by Dolvis Bio Pharma are as follows:

Quality: Any product that comes out in the market will have met all the international standards concerning quality, and hence any company will be at ease knowing the products do not have side effects of use.

Regulatory Support : In the pharmaceutical sector, regulatory requirements are a source of complexity, and that is why Dolvis Bio Pharma supports its customers by creating ease in launching products into the markets.

Dolvis Bio Pharma provides solutions from product development and manufacture through packaging to logistics according to customer needs.

On-time Deliveries: Using an efficient production and distribution network ensures that products are delivered on time to ensure there is competitiveness for its clients.

Cost-Effective Solutions: The company has focused on efficiency and quality to become a cost-effective choice for businesses that want to optimise their production expenses without having to compromise on the quality.

Conclusion

Third-party manufacturing partner selection is one of the most critical decisions in the pharmaceutical industry as it can greatly impact the success of your business. With Dolvis Bio Pharma as your reliable and experienced partner, you would secure quality manufacturing, regulatory support, and the flexibility of scale in line with growing business needs. Strategically located with state-of-the-art facilities and a promise of excellence, Dolvis Bio Pharma is well-equipped to help you achieve business objectives through quality healthcare solutions to market.

[lakelandseo]

Alternative Search Engines: Why They Matter and How to Rank on Them

12 billion, 3 billion, 1 billion. That’s the number of searches made in some of the top alternative search engines monthly.

While Google still holds more than 80% of the market share, ignoring search engines such as Bing, Yahoo, and DuckDuckGo can make you lose out on relevant traffic. So don’t limit yourself to Google’s algorithm as you plan the next year’s SEO strategy.

In order to grow in the digital economy, we have to diversify our efforts. What better way to do that than by making sure that you rank on all the top search engines relevant for your audience?

Generally, there’s two reasons why your audience would choose an alternative search engine over Google: geopolitical reasons and/or privacy concerns.

As such, I’ve categorized the search engines below by global market share and by data privacy.

Top alternative search engines by global market share

When analyzing the global desktop market share of search engines throughout the last decade, there are a few small but mighty search engines that stand out. These are:

1) Bing

2) Yahoo

3) Yandex

4) DuckDuckGo

5) Baidu

These are the engines you want to give extra consideration if you intend to expand internationally. They all have their own unique search algorithms that are in many ways as complex and developed as Google’s.

Why they matter and how to rank on them

If you’re like me a few years ago, a die-hard Apple fan remarkably repulsed by Microsoft’s products (I’ve now converted to the seamless team of PC), you might think prioritizing resources to optimize content for Bing or other engines is a waste of time. What I failed to consider then, and what you might be overlooking, is geographic segmentation.

Do you want to reach the American audience using voice search? Consider Bing.

Are you expanding into China? Check out Baidu. Each search engine matters because of its unique user types. Regardless of how small that market share might look on a global scale, if there’s regional search volume from your target audience, it’s worth the optimization.

Let’s go through them one by one.

Bing and Yahoo

Since 2018, Yahoo is exclusively powered by Bing Search. So as long as you rank in Bing, you’ll rank in Yahoo.

Bing Search, in combination with Yahoo, is without a doubt the strongest player after Google. Together, they have more than 10% of the global market share for desktop.

Now, some say that Bing’s market share will increase due to mergers and acquisitions, while others argue for its decline due to the death of Internet Explorer.

Still, all Microsoft browsers, such as Microsoft Edge Legacy and Chromium-based Microsoft Edge, have Bing as the default search engine, making Bing Search the natural choice for Microsoft product users. Yahoo, which is powered by Bing Search, is the default search engine for Mozilla’s browser Firefox, adding billions of impressions to Bing’s search results each year.

If we look at the United States alone, Microsoft sites own over 18% of the market share.

This is much due to their partnership with Amazon, where all voice-activated searches on Amazon Echo and Alexa are made with Bing Search.

Microsoft also pushes Bing further by offering easy rewards for searches and more advanced image search capabilities than Google.

Although the algorithms differ, optimizing for Bing search results is not much different than optimizing for Google. With a bit of fine tuning, it’s more than possible to come up with a strategy that allows for high rankings on both.

To rank on Bing, and thus Yahoo, make sure to do the following:

1. List your business on Bing Places

Bing Places is the equivalent of Google My Business and is the fastest way to get your business ranking for local seo. Many even consider Bing Places to favor small business owners as Bing puts their information more prominently on display.

2. Upload an XML Sitemap using Bing’s Webmaster Tools

While the debate on how much sitemaps really do matter for Google SEO continues, uploading one with Bing’s Webmaster Tool for XML Sitemaps allows the algorithm to better categorize and manage your content, making it more visible and relevant to the search audience.

3. Match keywords in your content

Check that the exact keyword match can be found in your page titles, meta descriptions and overall content. It’s known that the impact of on-page tactics as a ranking factor is much greater in Bing than Google.

4. Keep your social media profiles up to date

Go social! Bing considers your social media presence more than any other search engine. The Webmaster Guidelines specifically states that Bing considers social signals from third-party platforms to rank your content. Bing might even extract certain information directly from your Facebook company page to your Bing Places display.

5. Use high-quality images to enhance your content

Bing’s image search is much more advanced than Google’s. If you want your landing page to rank, add high-quality design assets to showcase your offerings. If you want your blog to rank, attach too-long-to-read infographics to highlight your points. Like the one above.

Yandex

Second to Bing is Yandex, having a total of 1.5% of the market share in global desktop search.

While it looks a lot like Google, its algorithm is different in many ways. Most prominent is the way Yandex indexes pages. Unlike Google’s almost continuous indexation, Yandex indexes pages sporadically. That means that you might have to wait around for a while before your site shows up on Yandex.

Despite this, it is still possible to rank on Yandex. You just need to have a bit more patience.

While waiting for your site to be indexed, take a look at the following:

1. Focus on tags over internal site structure

According to The Ultimate Guide to Yandex SEO, your header tag, title tag and slug are way more important than your internal site structure. In fact, it was only recently that Yandex started to support hreflang tags. Before that, Yandex only allowed the <head> hreflang implementation.

2. Consider search intent to rank

Some argue that Yandex meets search intent better than Google. The modern ICS score, which replaced the Thematic Index Citation, is determined by how relevant a site is to the query. Yandex uses its own version of expertise, authoritativeness and trustworthiness (E-A-T) test to determine relevance.

3. Eliminate toxic links

Many do not know this, but Yandex was actually the first search engine to roll out a link-based algorithm. Already in 2005, 7 years before Google’s Penguin algorithm, Yandex introduced the Nepot filter, which specifically looked at the impact of toxic link exchanges and spam links.

Baidu

With over 3 billion searches daily, Baidu is the Google of China. If you want to do business in China, it’s the place to be.

While the site is available worldwide, the site predominantly favors simplified Chinese. So before taking any other steps, hire a native speaker to help you along the way. To win at global, you have to ditch translations.

Here’s a few steps to get your content ranking.

1. Localize your keywords and content appropriately

As with all multilingual SEO, you need to work with a native language expert to ensure proper keyword localization and content optimization. If your site experiences high bounce rates, Baidu will tank your rankings immediately. As with any search experience, localization matters.

2. Position relevant content and keywords to the top of the page

Baidu favors a completely opposite layout than the Westernized one. The sooner you get to the point the better. Therefore, it is important to position your keywords as early as possible in the text and introduce all relevant content already in the top of the page to rank.

3. Obtain a verification level and get certified

By registering and paying a small fee you can obtain a verification level to improve your domain authority and rankings on Baidu. If you want to secure top ratings, you can get certified and obtain an ICP license, which is much more difficult than getting verified.

Top alternative search engines by data privacy

While most of the search engines mentioned above are tied to big corporations or political forces, global initiatives are setting the stage for more privacy-focused search engines. Among these is DuckDuckGo, the forefront runner with over 130 billion searches processed since launch.

Why they matter and how to rank on them

In many ways, the movement is a response to Google’s invasiveness on privacy. Many are fed up with how they are capitalizing on personal data and controlling the narrative with targeted search.

On a macro scale, the European Union continues to protect data privacy with strict GDPR regulations and the California Consumer Privacy Act indicates similar trends for Americans.

From a micro perspective, documentaries such as The Great Hack shine a light on how global companies monetize on personal data. As a result, privacy-safe search engines continue to rise.

If you’re working for an innovative SaaS startup, there’s a high chance your ideal customer persona is using one of these search engines.

Let’s go through how you rank on DuckDuckGo and two alternative equivalents.

DuckDuckGo

Screenshot of duckduckgo.com, November 2022

DuckDuckGo aims to make your search experience as simple and true to its cause as possible, i.e. no tracking for personalized search results and filter bubbles. Instead it uses semantic search to determine search intent for your queries from over 400 sources.

Consequently, this attracts tech-savvy experts with a lower bounce rate. Once they commit to a search, they stay.

Here’s how to optimize for it:

1. Sharpen Your User Experience

UX continues to make an impact on SEO, not to mention for DuckDuckGo. Make your content easily scannable and stay away from intrusive pop ups that harm your users’ experience and ease of navigation.

2. Focus on High-Quality Backlinks

As with any SEO, high-quality backlinks play a huge role for ranking. If you already have a solid backlink profile from your Google strategy, you should be good to go. If your backlink profile has a high level of toxicity, do some cleansing.

3. Rethink Local SEO

Since there’s no location tracking available for searches, location-specific searches such as “services near me” don't work. If you like to rank for these types of searches, include a specific location in your keyword strategy. Otherwise, you won’t be able to optimize for local seo.

Startpage

Startpage could be my personal favorite among the alternative search engines. It basically is Google without the tracking.

And while many consider DuckDuckGo to be the forefront runner of the privacy-focused search movement, many forget how Startpage ‘blazed the trail in 2006’. Offering a search experience without IP recording or tracking back when it was more or less unheard of. Now, it is the common denominator among all privacy-safe search engines.

So, how do you rank in Startpage? Simple. You rank in Google.

SwissCows

There are many more privacy-safe alternatives to search engines than the two mentioned above. Perhaps one without equal is SwissCows - a search engine that prides itself on being the only family-friendly, privacy-safe semantic search engine available on the web.

This means that any intrusive search results, like adult entertainment or offensive content, is naturally censored from the search results. At the same time, they never store any data nor track user specific information.

SwissCows SERPs bring up organic results and paid ads directly from Bing so in order to rank in SwissCows, you need to rank in Bing. Just make sure to omit any content that’s not PG-13.

What do they all have in common?

In the end, none of these alternative search engines can replace Google. As an SEO, I’ll never advise starting out with anything other than a Google strategy.

But when you are ready to branch out and extend your reach, give these alternatives a try. Analyze where your target audience hangs out and optimize thereafter.

Many of the privacy-focused search engines require little optimization as they pull their search results directly from other sources anyways. Simply do a quick check to see how you rank on each one.

And who knows, perhaps Microsoft will continue to steal more of the global search landscape. If that happens, you’ll be there — ranking in first position, ready to reap the rewards of your diversified efforts in an ever-changing search landscape.

[bfxenon]

Alternative Search Engines: Why They Matter and How to Rank on Them

12 billion, 3 billion, 1 billion. That’s the number of searches made in some of the top alternative search engines monthly.

While Google still holds more than 80% of the market share, ignoring search engines such as Bing, Yahoo, and DuckDuckGo can make you lose out on relevant traffic. So don’t limit yourself to Google’s algorithm as you plan the next year’s SEO strategy.

In order to grow in the digital economy, we have to diversify our efforts. What better way to do that than by making sure that you rank on all the top search engines relevant for your audience?

Generally, there’s two reasons why your audience would choose an alternative search engine over Google: geopolitical reasons and/or privacy concerns.

As such, I’ve categorized the search engines below by global market share and by data privacy.

Top alternative search engines by global market share

When analyzing the global desktop market share of search engines throughout the last decade, there are a few small but mighty search engines that stand out. These are:

1) Bing

2) Yahoo

3) Yandex

4) DuckDuckGo

5) Baidu

These are the engines you want to give extra consideration if you intend to expand internationally. They all have their own unique search algorithms that are in many ways as complex and developed as Google’s.

Why they matter and how to rank on them

If you’re like me a few years ago, a die-hard Apple fan remarkably repulsed by Microsoft’s products (I’ve now converted to the seamless team of PC), you might think prioritizing resources to optimize content for Bing or other engines is a waste of time. What I failed to consider then, and what you might be overlooking, is geographic segmentation.

Do you want to reach the American audience using voice search? Consider Bing.

Are you expanding into China? Check out Baidu. Each search engine matters because of its unique user types. Regardless of how small that market share might look on a global scale, if there’s regional search volume from your target audience, it’s worth the optimization.

Let’s go through them one by one.

Bing and Yahoo

Since 2018, Yahoo is exclusively powered by Bing Search. So as long as you rank in Bing, you’ll rank in Yahoo.

Bing Search, in combination with Yahoo, is without a doubt the strongest player after Google. Together, they have more than 10% of the global market share for desktop.

Now, some say that Bing’s market share will increase due to mergers and acquisitions, while others argue for its decline due to the death of Internet Explorer.

Still, all Microsoft browsers, such as Microsoft Edge Legacy and Chromium-based Microsoft Edge, have Bing as the default search engine, making Bing Search the natural choice for Microsoft product users. Yahoo, which is powered by Bing Search, is the default search engine for Mozilla’s browser Firefox, adding billions of impressions to Bing’s search results each year.

If we look at the United States alone, Microsoft sites own over 18% of the market share.

This is much due to their partnership with Amazon, where all voice-activated searches on Amazon Echo and Alexa are made with Bing Search.

Microsoft also pushes Bing further by offering easy rewards for searches and more advanced image search capabilities than Google.

Although the algorithms differ, optimizing for Bing search results is not much different than optimizing for Google. With a bit of fine tuning, it’s more than possible to come up with a strategy that allows for high rankings on both.

To rank on Bing, and thus Yahoo, make sure to do the following:

1. List your business on Bing Places

Bing Places is the equivalent of Google My Business and is the fastest way to get your business ranking for local seo. Many even consider Bing Places to favor small business owners as Bing puts their information more prominently on display.

2. Upload an XML Sitemap using Bing’s Webmaster Tools

While the debate on how much sitemaps really do matter for Google SEO continues, uploading one with Bing’s Webmaster Tool for XML Sitemaps allows the algorithm to better categorize and manage your content, making it more visible and relevant to the search audience.

3. Match keywords in your content

Check that the exact keyword match can be found in your page titles, meta descriptions and overall content. It’s known that the impact of on-page tactics as a ranking factor is much greater in Bing than Google.

4. Keep your social media profiles up to date

Go social! Bing considers your social media presence more than any other search engine. The Webmaster Guidelines specifically states that Bing considers social signals from third-party platforms to rank your content. Bing might even extract certain information directly from your Facebook company page to your Bing Places display.

5. Use high-quality images to enhance your content

Bing’s image search is much more advanced than Google’s. If you want your landing page to rank, add high-quality design assets to showcase your offerings. If you want your blog to rank, attach too-long-to-read infographics to highlight your points. Like the one above.

Yandex

Second to Bing is Yandex, having a total of 1.5% of the market share in global desktop search.

While it looks a lot like Google, its algorithm is different in many ways. Most prominent is the way Yandex indexes pages. Unlike Google’s almost continuous indexation, Yandex indexes pages sporadically. That means that you might have to wait around for a while before your site shows up on Yandex.

Despite this, it is still possible to rank on Yandex. You just need to have a bit more patience.

While waiting for your site to be indexed, take a look at the following:

1. Focus on tags over internal site structure

According to The Ultimate Guide to Yandex SEO, your header tag, title tag and slug are way more important than your internal site structure. In fact, it was only recently that Yandex started to support hreflang tags. Before that, Yandex only allowed the <head> hreflang implementation.

2. Consider search intent to rank

Some argue that Yandex meets search intent better than Google. The modern ICS score, which replaced the Thematic Index Citation, is determined by how relevant a site is to the query. Yandex uses its own version of expertise, authoritativeness and trustworthiness (E-A-T) test to determine relevance.

3. Eliminate toxic links

Many do not know this, but Yandex was actually the first search engine to roll out a link-based algorithm. Already in 2005, 7 years before Google’s Penguin algorithm, Yandex introduced the Nepot filter, which specifically looked at the impact of toxic link exchanges and spam links.

Baidu

With over 3 billion searches daily, Baidu is the Google of China. If you want to do business in China, it’s the place to be.

While the site is available worldwide, the site predominantly favors simplified Chinese. So before taking any other steps, hire a native speaker to help you along the way. To win at global, you have to ditch translations.

Here’s a few steps to get your content ranking.

1. Localize your keywords and content appropriately

As with all multilingual SEO, you need to work with a native language expert to ensure proper keyword localization and content optimization. If your site experiences high bounce rates, Baidu will tank your rankings immediately. As with any search experience, localization matters.

2. Position relevant content and keywords to the top of the page

Baidu favors a completely opposite layout than the Westernized one. The sooner you get to the point the better. Therefore, it is important to position your keywords as early as possible in the text and introduce all relevant content already in the top of the page to rank.

3. Obtain a verification level and get certified

By registering and paying a small fee you can obtain a verification level to improve your domain authority and rankings on Baidu. If you want to secure top ratings, you can get certified and obtain an ICP license, which is much more difficult than getting verified.

Top alternative search engines by data privacy

While most of the search engines mentioned above are tied to big corporations or political forces, global initiatives are setting the stage for more privacy-focused search engines. Among these is DuckDuckGo, the forefront runner with over 130 billion searches processed since launch.

Why they matter and how to rank on them

In many ways, the movement is a response to Google’s invasiveness on privacy. Many are fed up with how they are capitalizing on personal data and controlling the narrative with targeted search.

On a macro scale, the European Union continues to protect data privacy with strict GDPR regulations and the California Consumer Privacy Act indicates similar trends for Americans.

From a micro perspective, documentaries such as The Great Hack shine a light on how global companies monetize on personal data. As a result, privacy-safe search engines continue to rise.

If you’re working for an innovative SaaS startup, there’s a high chance your ideal customer persona is using one of these search engines.

Let’s go through how you rank on DuckDuckGo and two alternative equivalents.

DuckDuckGo

Screenshot of duckduckgo.com, November 2022

DuckDuckGo aims to make your search experience as simple and true to its cause as possible, i.e. no tracking for personalized search results and filter bubbles. Instead it uses semantic search to determine search intent for your queries from over 400 sources.

Consequently, this attracts tech-savvy experts with a lower bounce rate. Once they commit to a search, they stay.

Here’s how to optimize for it:

1. Sharpen Your User Experience

UX continues to make an impact on SEO, not to mention for DuckDuckGo. Make your content easily scannable and stay away from intrusive pop ups that harm your users’ experience and ease of navigation.

2. Focus on High-Quality Backlinks

As with any SEO, high-quality backlinks play a huge role for ranking. If you already have a solid backlink profile from your Google strategy, you should be good to go. If your backlink profile has a high level of toxicity, do some cleansing.

3. Rethink Local SEO

Since there’s no location tracking available for searches, location-specific searches such as “services near me” don't work. If you like to rank for these types of searches, include a specific location in your keyword strategy. Otherwise, you won’t be able to optimize for local seo.

Startpage

Startpage could be my personal favorite among the alternative search engines. It basically is Google without the tracking.

And while many consider DuckDuckGo to be the forefront runner of the privacy-focused search movement, many forget how Startpage ‘blazed the trail in 2006’. Offering a search experience without IP recording or tracking back when it was more or less unheard of. Now, it is the common denominator among all privacy-safe search engines.

So, how do you rank in Startpage? Simple. You rank in Google.

SwissCows

There are many more privacy-safe alternatives to search engines than the two mentioned above. Perhaps one without equal is SwissCows - a search engine that prides itself on being the only family-friendly, privacy-safe semantic search engine available on the web.

This means that any intrusive search results, like adult entertainment or offensive content, is naturally censored from the search results. At the same time, they never store any data nor track user specific information.

SwissCows SERPs bring up organic results and paid ads directly from Bing so in order to rank in SwissCows, you need to rank in Bing. Just make sure to omit any content that’s not PG-13.

What do they all have in common?

In the end, none of these alternative search engines can replace Google. As an SEO, I’ll never advise starting out with anything other than a Google strategy.

But when you are ready to branch out and extend your reach, give these alternatives a try. Analyze where your target audience hangs out and optimize thereafter.

Many of the privacy-focused search engines require little optimization as they pull their search results directly from other sources anyways. Simply do a quick check to see how you rank on each one.

And who knows, perhaps Microsoft will continue to steal more of the global search landscape. If that happens, you’ll be there — ranking in first position, ready to reap the rewards of your diversified efforts in an ever-changing search landscape.

[shemarmooresfedora]

Sugary Sweet Apologies

Summary: You and Reid never really got along but when he saves your life, you decide to be the bigger person and thank him and hopefully start over. Unfortunately, it isn’t that easy.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Content/Warnings: light to mild angst with fluffy ending, swearing, spencer reid being an annoying bitch, brief mentions of case stuff (if you watch cm, you should be fine)

A/N: this is for @willowrose99 ‘s 1 year anniversary on tumblr writing challenge!! congrats! i literally wrote and edited this whole thing in less than one day because i got so excited, anyways i hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 1.8k

“Reid and Y/L/N, go to David Whitney’s house. He was the therapist of two of the three victims. He could have some insight into the victimology and know of any overlap between them. He has no criminal record of past aggressive behavior but we can’t rule him out as a suspect entirely,” Hotch stated.

“Hotch, you stuck me with her yesterday for the geographical profiling. Send Prentiss with her instead,” Spencer whined.

“I don’t mind going with Y/L/N. She is a great partner in the field,” Emily glared at Spencer.

“No. Reid, go with Y/L/N or be taken off this case. I’m a unit chief, not an elementary school teacher. I don’t have time for temper tantrums,” Hotch chided.

“Fine,” Spencer grumbled as you grabbed the keys to an SUV.

You don’t know what it was but ever since you started at the BAU four months ago, Spencer had never liked you which resulted in you disliking him as well. Everyone else on the team was super friendly and welcoming but Reid always was jabbing snarky remarks your way like “I don’t have time to explain it to you” or “This was in the FBI handbook. God, you need more training.”

Luckily, the others were quick to defend you. Once Garcia even heard him snip at you over the phone and as soon as you all got off the elevator after the case, Reid was being dragged by his ear into Garcia’s lair with him going “ow ow ow” behind her. So, you didn’t really pay much mind to him because you could deal with one annoying know-it-all to have such an amazing job with great coworkers minus the one.

“Look, I’m not happy about this either,” you said as you climbed into the driver’s side of the SUV, “But at least I’m not being a whiny bitch about it and being rude to the other person’s face.”

“Oh wow, I’m so sorry that I hurt your feelings,” Spencer mocked.

“Fuck you, Reid,” you shook your head.

-

David Whitney was on edge the second you arrived and showed him your badges. He was bouncing his leg up and down, he couldn’t sit still, and he kept avoiding eye contact.

He knew way too much about the other victim that wasn’t even one of his clients but you didn’t have anything solid on him. His house seemed very neat so you doubted he kept anything incriminating here. Organized offenders usually have a secondary location. So, you decided to push his buttons a little.

“I mean blitz attacks, leaving the bodies on the side of dirt roads,” you combed through the crime scene photos, “This guy was a real coward.”

Spencer picked up on what you were trying to do and his eyes widened, he was subtly shaking his head and mouthing “no”.

“Excuse me?” David asked.

“Well, I’m just saying a real man wouldn’t cower in the bushes and blindside a woman. He must not be very strong,” you stated, “He probably can’t even get it up.”

Before you even had time to react, David pulled out a switchblade knife from inside the couch cushions and put you in a chokehold, pressing the cool metal up to your throat. You closed your eyes tightly.

“David, you don’t have to do this,” Spencer stood with his gun pointed at you both.

“This bitch insulted me,” he snarled.

“She insults me too. That doesn’t make you any less of a man,” Spencer spoke carefully, “Just put the knife down and I’ll escort you out.”

David sighed, dropping the knife to the floor and releasing you.

Spencer put David in handcuffs and walked him outside as reinforcements came running in.

“Are you okay, Y/L/N?” Hotch asked.

“Yep, a little shaken up but fine. Thank you,” you stood.

“Let’s get you to the medics,” Morgan grabbed your arm to support you as you walked over to the ambulance.

Spencer never checked on you.

-

You knew your decision in the field was a little rash and you wanted to thank Spencer for essentially saving your life.

However, there was no way in hell you could verbally get out an apology while staring at his smug face, but you could bake. You settled on a note tucked inside a tupperware container of your Grandma’s special recipe of chocolate chip cookies. It was a good peace offering, maybe even a chance to start fresh.

During your lunch break, you took the tupperware from your desk drawer and approached the break room where Reid had entered about 5 minutes ago.

“I’m just saying I could not have been more clear in my message to her that it was too dangerous but of course, Y/L/N didn’t listen cause Y/L/N is going to do whatever she feels like,” Spencer stirred his coffee.

No one had noticed you standing in the doorway yet.

“Reid, you’ve got to be nicer to her. She earned her spot here just like the rest of us,” Emily defended you.

“Did she though? How much do we really know about her? She couldn’t even tell me how many pages the FBI protocol manual was,” Spencer said.

“That’s not a normal thing people know,” Morgan retorted.

“Well, I’m just saying the team was perfectly fine before her and it would probably be better off if she left,” Reid finished.

Garcia looked up from her yogurt to see you standing there, “Oh, Y/N”.

Spencer turned around in his chair as you angrily stormed up to him.

“Here’s your cookies, asshole,” you seethed, grabbing the note from inside and crumpling it up into a little ball and tossing it into the trash.

“Y/N!” Emily called after you but you were already gone.

The whole team glared at Spencer and picked up their lunches, leaving him alone at the table.

Spencer retrieved the balled up paper from the trash, having to fish through Rossi’s week old pasta and Anderson’s half eaten tuna fish sandwich.

Dear Reid,

Thank you for saving my life, I guess. These are my Grandma’s secret recipe for chocolate chip cookies so I hope you enjoy. I think we got off on the wrong foot and I would like to start over. I think cases would be a lot less miserable for everyone if we got along.

Thanks again,

Y/L/N

Spencer, you’re such an idiot, he thought to himself.

You never came back after your lunch break ended and Derek made Spencer go tell Hotch why it’s his fault you were missing the rest of the day.

He tried to call you multiple times but they always rang out before going to voicemail.

Spencer hesitantly knocked on Penelope’s door at the end of the day.

“Is she okay?” he asked softly.

“You don’t get to ask that as the person who hurt her in the first place. Also, she told me to tell you that don’t you dare go to her apartment to ‘check on her’. I’m headed over there myself actually,” Penelope collected her things and shut off her monitors.

“Will you at least tell her I’m really sorry?” Spencer followed her to the elevator.

“Absolutely not. I’m not doing any apologizing on your behalf,” Penelope huffed as the elevators shut.

-

You came in the next morning, keeping your head down. You grabbed a pen from your cup holder and the first folder on your stack before getting to work.

You were on the second page of the file when your clean, empty tupperware was placed in front of you plus another baking dish with aluminum foil over the top.

You glanced up to see Spencer guiltily looking down at you and you returned your eyes back to the file.

“I-I made you cinnamon rolls,” Spencer broke the silence.

“Are they poisoned?” you asked, not sparing him another glance.

“No, they’re not poisoned,” he assured you.

“I’m just saying how can I trust you as you have made it very apparent you would like me off this team.”

“I didn’t mean that,” Spencer was quick to reply.

“Then why the hell did you say it, Reid?” you slammed your pen down.

You grabbed your empty coffee mug and briskly walked to the break room but unfortunately, Spencer was right behind you.

“I didn’t eat any of your cookies by the way. Not that I didn’t want to but I felt like I didn’t deserve them so I handed them out to everyone else.”

“Oh how kind, taking credit for my work,” you tried to close the door in his face.

“I told them that they were from you,” Spencer insisted.

You rolled your eyes as Spencer grabbed the coffee pot before you could get to it, pouring your mug of coffee for you.

“What do you want from me, Reid?” you asked defeatedly.

“I want you to try a cinnamon roll and let me explain.”

“Fine but only because I didn’t have breakfast yet and I want to critique your baking skills,” you huffed, walking back to your desk.

Spencer gingerly placed one of the sticky frosting-coated rolls on a napkin and pushed it towards you. You tentatively bit into it. Damn it, it was actually delicious.

“It’s okay,” you understated.

You knew Spencer hardly ever used his kitchen let alone be up baking all night. He even chose a recipe that required more time and effort because the yeast dough would have to rise for a few hours.

“That’s good. The first batch didn’t come out as great...or the second,” he smiled softly.

“Well, the floor is all yours, Reid. Please explain to me why you talk shit about me to my co-workers when I’m in the other room,” you leaned back in your chair and crossed your arms.

Spencer muttered something incoherent.

“I have to hear the apology, you know,” you said, enjoying watching him uncomfortable.

“You’re intimidating to me because you’re intelligent, beautiful, and courageous. I think I was a little jealous that my spotlight as the ‘kid’ of the BAU was coming to an end so I said some harsh, completely untrue things and I’m sincerely sorry.”

“Oh my god,” you smirked, “Hotch was right, you are an elementary school kid.”

“In what way?” he curiously asked.

“You like me like like like me. You don’t know how to talk to the girl so you pull her pigtails on the playground,” you giggled.

“I take it back. You’re a horrible profiler,” Spencer was getting up from his seat, completely flustered.

“Awww,” you were laughing at Spencer’s bright red face as he went to go to the break room to fill his coffee mug.

When he got back to his desk, a sticky note was placed front and center.

In typical elementary school fashion…

Will you go get coffee with me?

Check:

Yes

or

No

Spencer smiled before picking up his pen and checking one of the boxes, crumpling the sticky note up into a ball and throwing it over to your desk.

“Good choice. See you Saturday at 9 at the cafe down the street,” you grinned.

“It’s a date,” he smiled.

[uelden]

Vanity Fair interview translated

Just a side note before the actual translation; I don't know why, but instead of reporting the full questions and answers in full as she should, the journalist decided to report only summarized fragments of what Måneskin said and patch these fragments up into messy clusters. She also worded a couple phrases in a very confusing way (and yes, she's fully Italian). In short, she did quite a poor job, so the final shape of the interview is not that good. I didn't expect top-tier journalism from Vanity Fair but ffs. You'll see what I mean.

I translated it as it is, adding just a couple footnotes to give you insight on Italian pop culture references.

Translation under the cut

Måneskin: "Different from whom?"

by Lavinia Farnese, 09 June 2021

"True justice is being judged for what you do and not for what you are." The ones who are convinced of this are Damiano, Victoria, Ethan and Thomas who, by being the emblem of a generation that is finally free, refuse labels and conformism. In life, in love and on the stage. Where, maybe precisely because of this, they're winning everything

With the still unexpected (first place at Sanremo Festival) and the incredible (triumph at Eurovision) in their eyes, Måneskin are on the sofa of the house-studio they rented - to resume writing songs and rehearsing them - like you are after a won battle: lying in a calm and unreal silence, alert and a bit irreverent, happy.

In the garden there's the tennis table and the pool, the light of summer when it's starting and calming the country all around, and it filters inside from the large windows, and it goes onto the shining black of Ethan's hair, which blends with Thomas' eye shadow and the butterfly he has tattooed oh his naked forearm, which completes the picture of Victoria's golden crucifix hanging between neck and tank top and ends on the black nail polish of Damiano's stretched hands.

It's a human fresco, a Theatre of wrath [translator's note: "Teatro d'ira"] - to call it with the title of their latest album, a platinum record already - where their flaunted 20 years of age, their irregular femininity and virility are grown into proud and challenging custom, a pop glam rock generational manifesto of hard-earned liberties in a finally-unconditional expression of the self.

To watch them from any angle and from another age is to think that a great love will be born in those who'll understand: this new way of being in the world, the true and sovereign realm they hold where "diversity=exceptionality", the power of the artistic and cultural revolution of which they are healthy carriers in establishing in all lyrics and gestures the right to live according to one's own nature past the "people (who) talk, the people (who) unfortunately talk, and don't know what the fuck they're talking about." [tn: "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

We go where we're afloat, where the air isn't gone. [tn: journalist's own variation on "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

Miley Cyrus says hi – The numbers of a phenomenon

"The streams of Zitti e buoni are growing by the second, and they bring us above Muse, at the top of English charts, twelfth in the Spotify Global Chart. Followers almost tripled, in the post-Rotterdam period (from 1,4 to 3,3 millions, ed.) Contagious and universal folly: t-shirts and merchandising sold out in 10 minutes. Like the records, the tickets for a tour that keeps adding dates and expanding over geographic maps. They're contacting us even from some festivals were The Rolling Stones went." Thomas

"After the pretextual controversy over cocaine that France built against us, later disproven by my drug test, some graffiti popped up in Spain depicting me as a “No drugs” poster guy. Some tweets made us laugh: "Congratulations, Italy! I've never been more certain that four people have had sex with each other." Miley Cyrus started following us -You're great. -You guys are greater." Damiano

From the garage to the stars – Story of a flight

"It was only 2016, and we played in restaurants, in the streets, in via del Corso. Damiano without even a microphone, Thomas' guitar with wonky strings, Ethan was drumming on a cajón. During Rome highschools' sit-ins (Kennedy, Virgilio, Mamiani) we had our first confirmations and half-hours of celebrity, playing among those who criticized us and those who went "wow they're really cool." One of the rare times when they would have paid us – 50 euros each – we gave the money to the next band in the lineup so that they would make us play in their spot, later in the day, when there would have been more people. We had already realized how things worked. Visibility mattered more than money. And we still think that." Victoria

The intimacy of rock – Choice of a genre

"Music allows us the miracle of extending to others some very personal and private topics, sometimes even difficult and thorny ones. They are and they remain deeply your own, but at the same time they become a confession that reaches a wider audience, and in this passage that is alike a delivery, they find a place in you as well, a processing of them. You overcome them, you accept them. One second it's something aggressive, the next it's a ballad. Cathartic». Damiano

Against panic – The stage as therapy

"I've suffered a lot from anxiety and panic attacks, it's an issue I've worked on thanks to a psychotherapy course, my friends and my family. Playing helped me in not letting myself be paralyzed by my fears, not making myself limited in my private and professional life. I've learned to accept, to live with this side of myself. I don't hide it. I don't feel ashamed of it." Victoria

Analysis as necessity – Relying on someone saves you

"This belief that only madmen go to the psychologist is a widespread ignorance. No-one's born learned. [tn: common Italian saying] And it's often hard to understand the very reason why we're here, let alone the origin and direction of our desires. It's a long and legitimate journey towards lucidity, a kind of backing to become transparent." Damiano

Being out of our minds – But different from them [tn: "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

"When you feel a strong passion towards something that is not a canonical job but an artistic language, that already puts you on a level of anomaly, which is not superior or inferior to other people, but it puts you in the position of the one who breaks the mold and also works at a loss, the one who sustains great risks while trying to do something that who knows if it will take you anywhere. "Why do it if it doesn't pay?". You want to give this dream of yours an aesthetic, but it becomes "You're dressing so weird! You must be gay!" - now that I'm 22 I laugh about it, but when I was 17 it had an effect on me, too." Damiano

The beauty of uniqueness – Of believing in it and defending it

"And I mean, at the end of the day if we're all different it's not because we want be alternative but because, really, no-one is the same. Justice is being judged on what you do and not what you are. Justice is equality, respect, beauty." Ethan

Fluid sexuality – Pride is freedom

"Heels for men that like themselves in them, kisses among ourselves, we have an open, extended mind, and we're proud of it. The horizons become vast, past the oppression of conservative families. With the information on the web knowledge becomes greater and with it the possibility that minorities will be less and less minorities, because the majority will be less of a majority. This way we'll make insults and bullying grow quieter. If social media get to a village of 50 souls and reveal to a girl who's afraid of the dark that someone has felt her same fear, then there's no reason to give a name to that fear, to mark it with labels which also limit and restrict. Definitions always had this effect on me. You shouldn't even consider the gender when judging someone, let alone their orientation." Victoria

Sexism – A culture to be dismantled

"Emma [tn: Emma Marrone, Italian singer] drops the bomb: “At Eurovision when I was there they massacred me for a pair of shorts, while they said nothing to Damiano – bare-chested and in heels.” The easy judgment against women is more fierce, constant, debasing (if I have a lot of sex I'm cool while Vic is a whore, where I show myself strong I'm a leader while Vic is despotic and a pain in the ass who reached success because she's hot.) As a male I'm privileged, the abuse I get is not comparable to those a woman has to live through, the comments over my aesthetic are centered only on my aesthetic and don't insinuate anything about my professionalism and my competence, while women are victims of this kind of thought in a systematic way. It happened though to find myself standing with a woman who while pulling me to herself to take a selfie, started licking my face out of the blue... I mean, what the hell do you want? Who asked you? Consent exists, and it's due." Damiano

Grow yourself – The only commandment

"To me conformism is the opposite of education [tn: could also mean "politeness"] and is the asphyxia of expression. I fortunately never endured heavy bullying, heavy enough for the the judgement of others to change me. But the mold of the small crumbs of bullying I got and of the kind of aggression that scars is the same. If I'm a kid who dances and likes dolls you have to let me do what I like. I was a kid who wanted to keep his hair long and played with Barbie. As a teen, my friends looked at my hair: " You have to find a girl with short hair to be at your side." My grandparents took away my dolls: "Stop it, they're not for you." Ethan

"When I was six I was already sick of them, the distinctions between masculine and feminine. I've always had strong ideas about how I wanted to be. I refused things that were typically defined as girly, and all around me they mocked me because I went skateboarding, I played soccer, I didn't wear skirts, I was giving myself the chance to be as I wished. I endured it a little, I suffered a little, but I had courage, and now thanks to that courage I know that I could have gotten even much more hurt, otherwise I would have left to others the most important choice: the one about myself." Victoria

Love in progress – Music, girlfriends

"I've been married to music for the last 20 years. I can't wait to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary." Ethan

"Everyone makes their own experiences, sometimes it goes well, sometimes it goes wrong, but it's always not anybody's business." Thomas

"When I first felt feelings and attraction towards a girl it was a bit disorienting because I had never had the courage of going beyond the limitations I had put for myself. For society being heterosexual is the norm and so you often define yourself in that way automatically, depriving yourself of the freedom to live many shades and faces of love. Once I overcame the initial insecurity of having to call into question my certainties I've lived my sexuality in a very natural and free way, as it should be for everyone." Victoria

"I had paparazzi at my door every day and night. So, after four years of relationship, I revealed her name. I still have paparazzi at my door every day and nigh, but at least I don't have to hide anything anymore." Damiano

The worth of the group – Phenomenology of protection

"The true engagement though, the true family is among ourselves, our band. We've believed in it since day zero, even before we called ourselves Måneskin (Moonlight in Danish), even before Ethan drew a giant moon on the flier for the first concert we ever did. We share everything, even the pain for the tragedy of Seid Visin, who committed suicide at 20 because of racism. [tn: I think the journalist asked them their opinion about Seid Visin's death, which was a current events topic in Italy, and then pasted it syntaxically in the middle of Thomas' answer, which was not a great move] A group is what we all should be: stay united and not back down an inch in the face of oppression that is generated by a distorted view of diversity." Thomas

I'm not of the right age – Like Gigliola [tn: Gigliola Cinquetti won Eurovision with her song "Non ho l'età", which means "I'm not of the right age"]

"Before you the only one who won both Sanremo and Eurovision on the same year was Cinquetti (1964). If there's anything I feel I'm not of the right age for? No, honestly no. Maybe having children. Regarding children I'll be honest: I'm not of the right age." Damiano

Having touched the sky – The fears that remain

"We're more than inside the dream, we're in the conquered dream. When you fly high there's the risk of plummeting and hurting yourself, but we'll work hard not to end up like Icarus, who burns his wings with the sun. Everything is in our hands. And this - a bit pretentiously - reassures us rather than scaring us." Damiano

[bukojuiice]

fix you.

ೃ pairing: (village prince! katsuki bakugo x princess mononoke! reader)

ೃ  tags: princess mononoke au! studio ghibli au!

ೃ warnings:  mild use of weapons and strong language

ೃ part 1/2  of the princess mononoke! au

ೃ word count 4.119 words

ೃ 2/??? of @bukojuiice’s studio ghibli au

ೃ  my nav  →  my mha writing masterlist  → my katsuki bakugo x reader smau

ೃ  Loosely based off of Princess Mononoke! Not necessarily a word for word retelling/alternate universe. You can read on without any prior knowledge of this beautiful Studio Ghibli film. Hope you enjoy!

ೃ if you want to be part of this studio ghibli au taglist, send me an ask! or if you want to be a part of my mha taglist in general, send me an ask indicating whichever you want to be a part of!

ೃ  please do reblog if you enjoyed!! (feel free to add tags too because i love reading them and my heart swells with happiness when people love my work!)

ೃ shoto todoroki’s fic (howl’s moving castle au) for those of you who want to read the first in this series!

ೃ taglist: @chibishae34​ @sparkykatsuki​ @ramunegoddess​

 ೃ Katsuki Bakugo is the righteous yet arrogant village prince of the east. The entire village relies on him for protection and for guidance, further inflating his ego. however, after a cursed boar attacks him and the curse is passed on to him as a poisonous mark on his arm, slowly consuming him until he becomes a demon himself. he is exiled without hesitance from his village and is to go on a journey to look for a cure, a journey he might never come back from. With the help of two of his most trusted allies, he embarks on a journey to look for the gods of the forest in where he meets a girl (just as striking as him) who brings him back down to earth, saves him and make him experience a true life worth living.

“Damn this life.” Katsuki curses under his breath, rolling up his sleeves, and collecting clear water from the riverbend and transferring it into his jar.

“Hey! This isn’t that bad!” Eijiro Kirishima, son of the second in command to Katsuki’s mother, his most trusted ally and #2 most annoying fucker on this planet, cheekily grins, patting the blonde on the back. “We’ve gone through worse things in the past. And yet here we are! We’re still alive! Aren’t we?”

“Yea! We’ll find the forest gods soon! Offer food for them and hopefully they give us a cure! This is going to be easy!” Denki Kaminari, another one of his most trusted allies, grandson of one of the wise elders, and #1 most annoying fucker on this planet, reassures his friend whilst aimlessly fixing the saddle on his elk.

Why did life have to be like this?

Who did Katsuki Bakugo infuriate from high above to have this tremendous bad luck and fate be put upon him? All he wanted was to live a noble life as a village prince, have his mother pass down her position of power onto him, become the new village chief, live a life of prosperity, help his people, and then pass away with no regrets. But life just had to do this to him no?

After an unexpected attack of a raging cursed boar consumed by black slithering enigmas in the hills of Mustafu village, the handsome village prince was the only one able of combat who was around the vicinity at the time. He had no choice but to hurl himself in front of the boar, shooting one of his famed  arrows, sharper than most and one of the best in his arsenal.  The boar had met its demise by his hands. However, not without getting revenge at Katsuki, by passing its curse onto him. The black ooze slithering onto his arm before the animal had fully perished.

That was the worst day of his life.

As the son of the village chief and as one of the most well-known individuals in his tribe, how was he supposed to react?

Katsuki had always been number one. Never once slipping to loss or to failure. Never getting injured. Never letting his guard down. Never disappointing his parents. Never losing his pride nor his mighty personality.

He was the paragon of success.

But, sometimes, the best people feel lost and useless too.

The fact that his mother had easily let go of him, have the wise villager elders speak ill of him and banish him, having to leave everything he had loved and worked hard for, lose his position as a prince, and have the people of his village look at him in abhorrence and disgust, had ended up becoming the most painful experiences he ever had to go through in his entire life.

Leaving quietly at the dead of the night with no proper goodbyes but a brief hug, gift of a good luck charm from his mother, and the willing accompaniment of his two most trusted friends (although he would not like to admit the appreciation he has for them, he was very grateful) on this fruitless journey… He could never have it any other way.

What kind of life was he even going to lead from here on forth?

He didn’t want to stop believing. He didn’t want to lose hope. This wasn’t like him. Katsuki Bakugo knew who he was. He knows how headstrong he is, how prideful, persevering, and how much of a smart-ass he is. He had no time to sulk and contemplate about his demise and what fate had in store for him.

Although, it would be nice if he could release all these pent-up emotions and frustrations at least once. Just once.

He just has no idea how to and who to open up to.

Putting his vulnerable emotions aside, he is going to defy his destiny and take down whatever may come his way.

Making sure no one was going to stop him from doing so.

“Let’s go.” Katsuki jerks his head, gesturing his party members to start walking to the other side of the forest.

“Wait… haven’t we gone there already?” Kaminari protests, not raising his voice nor overreacting because even he knew that Katsuki was on a bad mood as per usual. (With this being the second afternoon of their journey and because they have to leave their animal companions by the river due to how unstable the geographical and terrestrial properties of the forest were.)

Katsuki shoots him a glare, the other blonde clearing the lump in his throat in response. “Okay okay! Let’s go then!”

They quietly navigate through the forest, hearing nothing but the sound of their own feet stepping on the grass, crickets chirping, fireflies flying about, the towering trees swaying with the wind, and the calming yet lonely atmosphere of the woodlands to accompany them.

“Kirishima.” Bakugo calls out coldly. “Are you sure that this is the same forest depicted in the legends?”

“Positive.” Kirishima replies, nodding aimlessly whilst turning his head and taking in their surroundings. “If we spot some Kodama, that means we’re near the tree that stands alone.”

“Tree that stands alone?” Denki asks, tilting his head and sparking a discussion. “Also, what even is a Kodama?”

“You’re the grandson of a village elder yet you’re asking me?” Eijiro narrows his eyes at his other blonde friend. “Kodama are the little white spirits who live in trees. They don’t necessarily guide travelers but instead watch them. They only intervene if ever anything bad happens. If we see them appear then that means we’re close to the spiritual core of the forest. The tree that gives life.”

Yakushima Forest. Located in the southern region, is the settlement of the forest gods and the place where the oldest trees of Japan and those known to man stand strongly. The power and the spiritual energy stored in this wonderous and enchanting forest could only be seen and could only be discovered by heroes and travelers with a pure of heart as the forest was welcoming only to visitors with pure and selfless intentions. However, to those who wish to exploit it and to ruin its beauty will be punished heavily by the gods in the most gruesome ways possible.

Katsuki breathes out a hefty sigh, leading his two other friends who were happily following him from behind. There was this bizarre feeling of anxiety welling up inside him. He was not himself and he couldn’t tell why. All he could do was pretend to remain calm and collected…

He will find that cure.

He will be able to save himself and he will be able to come back to his village, victorious and free of the curse.

Bakugo stops in his tracks when they encounter another streaming river. His two companions almost bump into him with how abrupt he halted in his steps.

There was something amiss in the river.

It wasn’t a bad spirit nor was it some bad energy, but Katsuki could feel something.

There was someone else there.

And he felt that they weren’t exactly the friendly type who would help them.

“Bakugo-sama, why did we stop-“ Kaminari is hushed by his blonde friend before he could even have the chance to utter another word. Kirishima quickly picked up what Katsuki is trying to motion to them and proceeds to quietly scout around the area. “There’s a girl? Wolves too.” He whispers from behind a bush not far from where his friends were standing.

“Let’s go back to the nearby village. Stay at the inn there.” Bakugo whispers sternly, as if not wanting to hear any other remarks from his friends.­

“Wait! Bakugo, I know we’re near the tree. Why stop now!?” Kirishima fussed. He knew something was up. “We’re pretty close. We can just set up a fire here then-“

“I said let’s head back. Damn it.” Katsuki repeated his words. This time, in a sort of a growl. “If you don’t want to go back, feel free to die here if you want.” He starts treading back to the path where they came from. Denki looks at his red-headed friend worriedly, even he, of all people, had finally noticed that there was something wrong with their most beloved village prince. Kirishima nods at him cautiously, the two of them walking together behind Bakugo.

They quickly got back to the small village near the forest with no interruption, as the chit-chatter and the energy radiating between both Kirishima and Kaminari were low as Katsuki was in a even terrible mood, refusing to talk to any of them nor humoring their antics and small jokes.

They continue to spend the rest of their day in silence. With, Katsuki, immediately heading back to his quarters to rest whilst his two other companions remained outside to help some village folk and prepare dinner.

The village chieftain of the quaint settlement had a good relationship with Katsuki’s mother. They were good trade partners and the village chief wanted to do everything in their power to help Katsuki be free of the curse by the means of giving him a private inn to stay in and come back to whenever he and his friends would like to. It wasn’t much, but Katsuki needed all the help he could get on this otherwise hopeless quest. Even if he refused the said offers at first.

After another awfully quiet bonding time with Bakugo at dinner, the convivial duo had to break the silence. Denki had thought of the most wonderful idea of bringing up the topic of the girl who was accompanied by wolves in the forest. Because, hey, it’s a girl in the forest! What could possibly be weird about that?

“Hey! So about that girl that we saw…” Kaminari suddenly speaks up, nudging Kirishima in the arm, signaling him to answer his query. Bakugo barely looks up at the sound of his friend’s yapping, continuing to play with the food on his bowl. “Who do you think was she?”

“She’s most probably the wolf princess.” Eijiro shrugs casually, biting on a roasted corncob. “Yakushima forest is protected by the three animal gods whom we know by now as the forest gods. The Wolf goddess, The Gorilla king, and The Deer god. The Deer god being the most powerful of them all. There have been rumors and reports going around that the goddess had taken in an abandoned human girl, and was treated as one of their kin years ago. The girl holds pure resentment for her own kind and chooses to live in the Yakushima forest, taking down every single human who has negative intentions and evil plans for the land she lives in.”

“Well, if she’s that badass, then you shouldn’t call her a princess. She’s a queen!” Kaminari remarks, biting on his newly roasted corncob, listening eagerly to Kirishima’s tale. Bakugo looks up at Denki and the goofy blonde could have sworn he saw a small smile form on Katsuki’s face.

Kirishima laughs at his friend’s little quip, “You’re right. She’s amazing, isn’t she?”

“You weirdos should get to sleep. We go back to the forest first thing in the morning.” Katsuki stands up from his seat, his hands in his pockets, grumpily trotting away to the inn.

“Oh.” Denki blinks. “That was faster than I thought. I didn’t expect him to be convinced so easily. Did you pull that story from your ass Kirishima-kun?”

The red-haired teen shook his head. “Nope. All of that was real.”

“For real? You’re not joking?”

“Yup.”

“Oh, that’s cool. Goodnight then!” The other blonde leaves his seat, patting Eijiro in the arm before leaving and going back to his quarters.

Kirishima looks up at the glistening night sky, a few stars present in the sky to greet him a wonderful night, the boy hoping he would find an answer amongst the stars. “May the gods help us in our adventure.” He breathes a hefty sigh, closing his eyes. After a few more minutes of praying for guidance, he puts out the fire and retreats back to his room.

The night passes by quickly, another day of their adventure waiting to unfold.

“Don’t you dare come back here you disgusting prince.”

“No one wants him here! Got it? Let him go on this adventure and never come back!”

“He’s just a burden. To be cursed by an animal as simple as a boar? Pathetic.”

“Useless vermin.”

“Banished forever? How sad.”

“A prince falling from grace? Predictable.”

The voices of the village people echo in his head.

These were words from them that he was not meant to hear. Ones that he accidentally heard before leaving that same night. These were the words that will haunt him forever.

He, Katsuki Bakugo, of all people, would let all these horrid, vile, and false words get to him?

These were the same words with the same meaning that he’s heard hundreds and hundreds of times from different people, yet it never got to him. He chose to ignore them.

But, why now? What was going on?  Why was he feeling this way?

Katsuki awakens at the dead of the night. Beads of sweat falling from his temples, his breath hitched and his body aching. He was not himself right now and this intense feeling of uneasiness and torment confirmed it. Although, he wanted to keep this to himself. He didn’t want anybody else to know what he was feeling. He could overcome this on his own. He could do this all on his own.

“I’ll show them.” He continues to breathe at a fast pace, still a bit shocked by the nightmare he had just seen. “I’ll fucking show them that I am the prince of the Mustafu tribe.” He props himself up from his sleeping mat, reaching for his neatly folded clothes beside him. “And nothing’s going to change that.”

Katsuki begins to get dressed, feeling nothing but anger and determination running through his veins. He puts on his grey vest and wraps his red cape onto his back. He continues to put on his ensemble when a sudden rush of pain begins to throb in his arm. Bakugo’s immediate reaction is to curl up, holding his stomach to try and ease the pain.

The curse was acting up again, reacting to the anger and negative emotions that Katsuki was feeling right now. The blonde winces in pain, kneeling down on the floor to take a hold of his arm that was manifesting a glowing blue and black aura. His muscle continues to throb and he could do nothing but hold it down and take in all the pain until it eventually goes away.

After several minutes of resisting and trying to ease the pain by thinking of more positive and enlightening thoughts, the throbbing suddenly stops. Bakugo goes back to breathing at a normal pace. He rests for a few minutes, making sure that his body was functioning properly once more before he quickly heads out of his private room to head to back to Yakushima forest, searching for answers. He didn’t have time to wait for Kirishima and Kaminari anymore. He was growing impatient, and hearing the haunting words of his village people circling in his head fueled his will power to get this whole ordeal done and head back home.

It was finally the end of another day protecting the forest.

You were about on your daily patrol with the wolf goddess and your wolf siblings, when you encounter three young men who looked like they were lost in the woods. You immediately assumed that they were looking for the tree of life. But they weren’t like the others. They weren’t finding it for selfish reasons. They were looking for it in hopes to find a cure for a curse. That’s what their auras were trying to show at least.

One of those men particularly piqued your interest.

He was… handsome? Was that the word that humans used?

He had ash blonde hair that spiked upwards at all angles, passionate red orbs that gave him such a striking appearance, as if he could hold up the world in his hands. Calloused hands that had taken a part in many battles, a muscular build like that of a noble warrior, a shining sword just as big as him and an arrow that he looked like he was adept at using.

Yet despite your observations, there was this mysterious air around him that you just couldn’t understand.

“(Y/N)? Dear? Is anything wrong?” The elegant white wolf goddess, Moro, calls out to her human daughter, with a worried look.

“I saw 3 dorks by the riverbend on our patrol a while ago.” You say rather jokingly, trying to remember their faces. “I should have struck them down when I had the chance.” You shake your head, reaching for the knife in your skirt and grasping it.

“How so?” The goddess twitches her ear, as if raising an eyebrow at you. “Did you feel any bad spirits within them? Any emotional aura? I told you to do that before attempting to attack anyone remember?”

“There was this particular man among them who had strong energy. He was radiating a gloomy yet aggressive energy. Like that of a person hiding their true emotions to remain strong and brave to the outside world. I kind of felt sorry for him.” Your voice trails off as you nestle your body next to the wolf goddess, along with your siblings who were cuddled up next to you too.

“Why don’t you go check up on him then?” Moro replies casually, as if teasing you. You raise your head up, feeling a tint shade of pink appear on your cheeks.

“W-what do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.”

A shrieking noise began to ring in your ears, signaling that a human has entered the forest. You quickly rise up from the bed of leaves you were sleeping in. Running out of the cave, you gallop down a slope and sprint your way to the foot of the forest. The spirits guiding you to where you needed to go.

You feel the hostile energy yet again.

Could it be the young man from earlier?

When he enters your field of vision, you climb up the nearest tree to get a clearer look at him from above and from afar.

He still had the same expression plastered upon his face since this afternoon. An irritated and scornful look, yet there was kindness in his eyes that you couldn’t describe.

It wasn’t the kindness that you would see from the eyes of a regular person but it was a kindness that was combined with a desire to protect the people around him. It was different and oddly comforting.

You continue to observe his every move, waiting for him to mess up or try to hurt the magical properties of the forest before you confront him to ask why the hell was he even roaming around in the forest, in the middle of night like a fluffy dog.

Katsuki noticed you standing on the tree-tops.

You weren’t exactly the greatest hide and seek player.

However, he chose to shrug you off and ignore you as he continues to look for traces of spiritual energy that could lead him to the tree of life.

Based on the stories that Kirishima had told, he was actually a bit surprised by your appearance. He couldn’t make out your face with the mask that you were wearing but he noticed your mildly disheveled hair, the ragged clothes you had on, a cape made of white fur and a necklace adorned with three fangs hanging on your neck. From that alone, he knew you were a princess. Not your conventional princess per se with all the jewelry, intricate headpieces and beautiful dresses but, the presence that you have has sort of a dignified feel to it. You might not look like the part but you embodied everything that a princess should be. Headstrong, intelligent, confident in her beliefs, and never afraid to stand her ground.

That’s what Katsuki thinks at least.

With all the stories that Kirishima had recited about the Yakushima forest, you were one of the most interesting bits.

Katsuki Bakugo was enthralled by you in more ways than one.

You were a mysterious enigma that he had to unravel.

You were getting a bit tired of watching him aimlessly roam around the forest. He was absolutely going nowhere which is funny because he didn’t strike you as a person who had no sense of direction. In an alternate universe, he’d probably be kidnapped by some villain or bad guy if he continued to be reckless like this, just walking around without a care in the world.

You spoke too soon.

You barely dodge a sharp arrow that pierces through a tree. It wasn’t from the young man you were watching but from someone else. Thieves. two of them.

You forgot that you weren’t able to sense other humans entering the forest if you focus on a particular one. It completely slipped your mind that there would still be sick individuals who would try and attempt to find the riches of the forest despite the many incidents happening time and time again warning humans to not enter the Yakushima Forest if they want to explore it for their own selfish desires.

You hastily jump down onto the ground, releasing a flurry of punches and kicks at the thieves, knocking 2 of them unconscious. You thought that the fight was over until you hear agonizing screams from the other side of the forest.

You quickly sprint your way there, hoping nothing serious had happened and no one was hurt in the process.

You arrived in a secluded area, tall trees covering the sun or the moon for the light to seep into, resulting in a dark and gloomy atmosphere.

You stop in your tracks when you notice six thieves unconscious on the ground too. You were about to breathe a sigh of relief when you notice that the boy was panting heavily, injuries and deep wounds were present all around his body. He was terribly injured. He stares at you for a few seconds before collapsing onto the ground.

You grit your teeth, approaching him with a scornful look. “You’ve wasted your life by getting in my way!” You sheathe his blade from it’s scabbard, pointing it directly to his chest. Katsuki’s chest rises up and down, a sign showing that he was breathing normally but was at the brink of unconsciousness.

“I’ll cut your throat! That will shut you up!”

“You’re beautiful…”

He mumbles, his eyes fluttering open, making intense eye contact with yours.

You suddenly feel your heart race, thumping loudly. You pull the sword away and jump away from him. You were taken aback by his words because of how he caught you off guard just like that. Who gave him the right to do this to you? Who was he in the first place?

Why did he make you feel all these soft and mushy feelings right now?

Who gave him the right to do this to you?

A human being? 

A feeling sparking in your chest...

Is this what humans  call love?

-        To be continued.

[makemefic]

hi! could you write an Aaron Hotchner / Spencer Reid fake relationship blurb? maybe they’re on a case and they need to act fast to keep up appearances?

(Popping behind a cut as 1. It ended up longer than planned. And 2. TW: homophobic behaviour and implications of hate crimes)

They're taking a short break, just sitting on a park bench, when Hotch reaches over, sliding his arm behind Reid's shoulders.

Blinking as the movement pulls him away from his thoughts - he'd been going over the case notes in his mind - Reid takes a moment to take in their situation.

He hasnt flinched, but that's because he knows the feel of Hotch's warmth to his side, the press of the other man's arm around him.

It's just after midday, and both men are holding coffee cups, having paused between interviewing possible witnesses to rehydrate and consider their next steps.

So far, no one has noticed anything suspicious (that they were willing to share), but this park is the only geographical link they'd been able to find between the victims.

Hotch tilts his body towards Reid's, and Reid knows that anyone watching would think it an indication of intimacy. He ducks his head down, letting his hair flop into his face as he glances around the park. What has Hotch seen?

Still, Reid doesnt need to see what Hotch sees in order to follow the other man's lead. He shifts so that he's leaning into the older man's side, letting one hand drift down to rest against a muscled thigh.

In the next moment, he spots what Hotch must have.

A man. Alone. Earphones in, but gaze fixed on them, eyes narrowed. Reid lets his head fall back to rest on Hotch's shoulder, turning towards him.

"The jogger?" He murmurs with a soft smile.

Hotch smiles down at him, lifting one hand to brush Reid's hair out of his face. "Feel like a walk?"

Nodding, Reid let's Hotch pull him to his feet, a large, strong hand dropping down to twine fingers between his own.

They head towards a quieter area of the park, with no bystanders who may get caught up in the action.

Reid can feel his heart thundering as he walks, ears straining for any sound of pursuit.

Hotch must also be wondering whether the man is following him, because the next moment Reid finds himself pressed up against the trunk of a large tree, Hotch's lips on his neck.

"Reid," Hotch mutters.

Looking over Hotch's shoulder, which is not all that easy when warm lips are pressing soft affection against him, Reid spots the man.

There is a thunderous look on his face, his fists clenching by his sides as he watches them. His glare intensifying with each press of Hotch's lips.

"He's exhibiting all the signs of being completely enraged by our display," Reid tells Hotch, "you think he attacked them here?"

Hotch removes his lips from Reid's neck only to twist them side-on to the tree and claim Reid's lips with his own.

Reid starts to bite back the moan it causes, only to relax and let it out. They are putting on a show, after all.

"At the least he found his victims here," Hotch mutters between kisses. From this angle, he can also see their unsub, whose face becomes redder with every kiss.

"We need proof," Reid mutters, realizing his hands had somehow made their way up to clutch at Hotch's shoulders. His legs are not as steady as they usually are.

Hotch hums. Then his tongue is Reid's mouth. Reid gasps.

The unsub strides forward, hand shaking as he pulls a gun from the pocket of his hoody.

Reid wonders if it's really going to be that easy, even as Hotch spins, striking out at the man's wrist and sending the gun flying.

"Federal Agents," Hotch says calmly, drawing his own weapon. "Put your hands behind your head."

Reid collects the man's gun, which appears to be a match to the unsub's weapon they'd been trying to track.

As he follows Hotch to where the other man has called for backup, he wonders whether it would be worth them continuing their fake relationship as part of the interview process. He hopes it is.

[writing-in-april]

Green with Envy

Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Summary: Spencer gets green with envy over something reader can’t control angering reader- hot and heavy makeup sex ensues.

A/N: hey guys 🥺 this is my sixth fic for my 1250 follower celebration and this is a day late- thank you to everyone who was super nice and considerate about me pushing this off till today- I was having a super hard time emotionally last night and I needed some time to myself. Again thanks so so much- this is based off of a combination of this request and this request for jealous Spencer. Also part two to Dr. Jekyll will be out tonight or tomorrow depending on if I can finish it- still a little bit behind schedule from me pushing this off last night. Thanks for reading 🥺

Warnings: 18+, Someone’s harassing reader at work, Spencer is a jerk at first I promise he apologizes, Unprotected sex, Oral sex (F receiving)

Main Masterlist Word Count: 2.1k

“Could you go and check case evidence? And bring the detective with you.” Hotch had approached me, giving me orders for the next step to take in the team’s investigation. I accepted them with no discernible dissent in my voice towards Hotch, even though I would have rather stayed with Spencer working on the geographical profile. Especially since the detective had not taken my subtle hints of turning him down when he flirted with me. Unfortunately like many of these instances it was just easier to keep my mouth shut rather than cause problems with the police department we were liaising with. Though I still did know if I’d I had told Hotch he would’ve understood and changed it with a drop of a hat. it was still just easier to not say anything and power through the case, however sad and disappointing it was.

The detective had been hot on my heels ever since we had touched down here. At first it had been endearing and I just carefully let him down, saying a simple no to coffee.

I was sure he got the impression that if he ‘convinced me’ more he’d get me to say yes. I hadn’t told him until later that I had a boyfriend because it hadn’t been his business. I had only told him with a snippy tone in frustration when he would not let up. Unfortunately for me again he seemed to take it as a sign of ‘playing hard to get’ and did not stop his pursuits. I should probably tell Hotch about it before I punch him in the nose.

I was frustrated and annoyed, plus basically every other negative feeling in the book. I just wanted to be alone, or with Spencer.

When I finally got time to slip out of the room for a breather I scampered my way over to where my boyfriend was as he always gave me some sort of solace.

Unfortunately, it seems like the universe was against me this week.

Spencer’s eyes usually held not one ounce of anger, especially not towards me. When he flashed me a glare I got a little angry myself. What had I done to face the wrath of the genius? His demeanor towards me wasn’t doing anything to squash my bad feelings as it normally did, right now it was just fueling the flames.

I decided to just ask him upfront after a third glare was flashed in my direction instead of dancing around the issue any more, we did have a job to do, “Hey- Spencer, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” His tone was clipped and sharp, sharp enough that it felt like it could cut me.I wouldn’t have been that surprised if it did. It was obvious that ‘nothing’ was not true, there was obviously something going on.

I decided to ask again just to be sure, though there was definitely a possibility I was going to be snapped at again, “Are you sure?”

The harsh glare I was given was more piercing than the previous ones, cutting me deep.

“Yes, I’m sure!” Was whispered shouted at me along with the glare. It took every fiber of my being not to snap his head off even harsher than what he had done to me. Blinking back tears I got up and stormed off, completely done with the day- with this case. I just wanted to put this case behind me, putting it in the files to never be thought about by me again.

—

When we got to the hotel, after we were finished for the day, there was an eerie silence that fell over us. The silence only held for a moment as we stared at each other. I wasn’t going to speak before he was and if it wasn’t an apology I didn’t know if I had the energy left in me to say anything back.

I had ended up telling Hotch what had been going on with the detective, it had become too much for it to be reasonable to brush off (though in a perfect world brushing off someone like that wouldn’t be a reality but that’s just a daydream of mine I guess)

I stood at the other side of the room for a minute waiting to see if he’d say anything or if we’d be dancing around each other like this for the rest of the night.

He ran his hands through his hair a few times, looking like he was trying to collect his thoughts and sat down on one of the beds in the room. I wondered also if I’d be slipping into the second untouched bed by the window tonight.

“I-I’m so sorry.” My only response at first was a slight hum from the back of my throat while I processed my own thoughts. He seemed sincere, I wanted to believe he was sincere that is.

“Sorry for what?” On the ride back to the hotel, once my irritation towards his attitude had somewhat satiated in the cool silence of the car, I had figured out what he had been bothered by. Spencer wasn’t all that hard to read once I got to know him. However, I wasn’t going to provide the reason for it, I still wanted to hear the reasoning from his own mouth.

“I was envious- jealous of you and the detective today.”

“You were envious?” Being green with envy wasn’t something that Spencer had ever expressed in our relationship before. Being envious- or jealous as most people would call it could be something to be played with in a relationship. It’s an emotion to be delicately handled otherwise the relationship could be filled with possessiveness and aggression.

Spencer was for sure out of line earlier today, he was certainly right when he said I’m sorry.

But, since he had said sorry and that I could tell he was sincere, maybe there was still a chance to play with the delicate emotion in a way that would not crack the foundation. Plus the added fact that I didn’t need to ask for an apology was comforting. There was no need for a fight when the person at fault admitted it. And, in time I’m sure when our relationship has had more time to build a larger foundation, those feelings of envy would not be so easily provoked— unless of course if it was time to play with those delicate emotions.

“Y-yeah, I was getting mad that I wasn’t the one that you were with today. A-and- I also didn’t like that the detective wouldn’t stop flirting with you…” His stuttered apology wasn’t what I was totally paying attention to, though don’t get me wrong I did appreciate it. What I was focused on was how much I wanted to claim him, to show him how much I was just as much as he was mine.

“Well, I’m glad you apologized, I accept it and I understand where you were coming from- plus the case hasn’t been easy on any of us. Just don’t ever do something like that again, please.” Spencer’s shoulders slumped from a sigh and an added nod, relaxing from my words after being tense with anxiety. Sauntering over to him after I had accepted his apology with one plan in mind made my panties wet with anticipation. When I straddled his lap his eyes blew wide, not expecting these turn of events. I grabbed the back of his hair, not too harshly, just enough to get a firm grip to tilt his hair back while I spoke into the shell of his ear, “And, now I’d like to show you how much I belong to you— and it’s just as much as you belong to me.”

Instead of getting an intelligible response from Spencer all I got was a moan, not that I was complaining. While I captured his lips in a breathless kiss I began to grind my hips down onto him in slow circles, giving him a taste of what’s to come.

He surrendered to my dominance in the kiss almost immediately, letting me guide him in any way I wanted him to go. As I rocked my hips over the bulge in his slacks I could feel it grow harder underneath me, I couldn’t wait to free it from its confines. I made sure to mark up his neck with as many hickies that made me satisfied- plus I let him give a few to me as well.

His submission underneath me wasn’t something that I was unused to. This time seemed to be a little different however.

I couldn’t place my finger on what exactly was different, maybe it was that we were so desperate for each other that the clothes practically melted off- which was a lot quicker than how we normally took our pace.

“Can I show you how good I can be for you, Miss?” His eyes were wide and begging, there was no way I could refuse a face like that.

That was how I ended up riding his face, with no hesitation in sight from him. All he wanted to do was to please and he was greedy for it. Even after I had started to pull up off of him after I had already had a shattering orgasm he pulled his hands down onto my hips to have me writhing on top of him im overstimulation. I could’ve punished him for it, but it felt too good to punish.

I was going to make sure he was ready too, possibly by taking him into my mouth for a bit, which I loved to do. However, his little whimpered out pleads about how much he wanted to feel me were just as hard to ignore as the previous pleas. It was hard to say no to a face that looked so pretty when he begged.

I sunk down on him slowly, at least letting myself relish in that feeling for a bit before Spencer would undoubtedly coax me into a faster pace because of how desperate he was. My own desperation wasn’t too far behind to be honest.

When I took him down fully to the hilt I only let myself feel the weight of him inside me for a moment before I started to roll my hips to create a rhythm. The pace I created was just as everything else up until this point had been, desperate.

While I bounced on him I had become unsatisfied with the amount of marks I had left on him before, diving into his neck to pepper them with hickies not really considering the fact that we had to go to work tomorrow. At least he still had that concealer he bought when we first started dating.

Seems that Spencer could not seem to think of it either as in between my ravishing of his neck and upper chest he’d also been getting in his fair share of marks. His were more centered at my chest, he’d been making sure my boobs were not neglected.

My second orgasm washed over me when Spencer brought up his fingers to rub my clit in quick circles. When my pace began to stutter in their movements as I rode myself through my orgasm while trying to help Spencer reach his, his hands came up to my hips to help aid me. Once my pleasure had partially abated I began to focus on his.

“Come on, sweet boy, you’ve shown me how good you are, now I want you to cum for me.”

His eyes rolled back into his head at my words, close to falling off the edge. I grabbed both of his hands interlinking them together and pinned them to the bed to help push him towards his release. A high pitched whine came up from his throat and he fell over the edge, cumming inside me.

We stayed together like that for a bit while we were both coming down from our highs. For a while there was only silence between us as we basked in each other's presence until I decided to make a joke.

“Are you no longer green with envy?” I simpered a bit at him, teasing him just a little as I started to even out my breath some whileI also traced all the marks I had left on him. I was teasing him about the events of today, but I’m reality that horrible detective was far from my mind- it was just Spencer and I. I’d have to see later while looking in the mirror what marks he had also left on me to claim me just as much as I had done to him.

His nose scrunched up at me and he giggled, his giggles were my favorite sound. When I first heard it I knew I would become addicted to pulling little giggles out of him as often as I could. In an uncharacteristic comeback through giggles Spencer then said, “No you kinda fucked it out of me.”

—-

Tag list (message me if you want to be added):

All works: @shotarosleftpinky @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar @s1utformgg

All MGG characters: @muffin-cup

Spencer Reid/CM: @calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss @slutforthegubes

Sub Spencer: @thatsonezesty13 @pastathighs @virtualpeanutartisanjudge @calm-and-doctor

[a-simple-gaywitch]

Composed of the Elements

Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary:  When a case takes the team to (Y/N)'s home town, her best friend Spencer helps her leave all the baggage behind.

Title Song: Sweet as Whole, Sara Bareilles

Word Count: 2705

Warnings: high school bullying, brief mentions of a case, smoking

“Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic.” -Oscar Wilde

~

You walked into the bullpen with a coffee in one hand and your phone in the other.

“Morning, (Y/N),” your best friend, Spencer, called from his desk.

“Morning, Spence.” You sat down at your desk. Before you could get settled, JJ announced a case.

“We’ve been called in to a small town in Indiana,” JJ said, clicking on the slide projector.

“Wait. When you say small town…” you said, feeling your body tense.

“We’re going to (L/N)’s hometown,” Hotch confirmed. After going over the details of the case, he said, “Wheels up in thirty.”

Spencer reached for your arm, but you were up and moving to the bullpen before he could catch you. He watched as you grabbed your bag from your desk, ignoring Morgan’s attempts at conversation. Your usual peppy, outgoing self was gone, replaced with a stranger.

When the team gathered on the jet, they discussed the case together. You sat at the back of the cabin, staring out at the clouds, tapping on the table in front of you.

“Hey.” You looked up to see Gideon sitting in front of you. “Are you okay?”

You shook your head. “I never thought I’d be going back there. I thought I could leave and never look back.”

“Hey, I know it isn’t easy, but we need your help. You know this town and the people in it. That can help us.”

You sighed and stood up. “Fine.” Walking over to the team, you said, “One thing you need to know about these people: they don’t like outsiders. At all.”

“What do you mean by outsiders?” Hotch asked.

You scoffed. “Anyone who isn’t born and raised in the town. Even if you’ve lived there for years, if you weren’t born in Newton, you’re not to be trusted. You’ll see first-hand when we meet with the local PD.”

“What about the victims?” Derek asked you.

“I knew both of them in high school,” you said, flicking through the file. “But I don’t know what anyone has been doing with their lives.”

Spencer couldn’t help but notice the sadness in your eyes. Despite his aversion to touch, he reached out and rested his hand on top of yours. You were his safety net. He loved you, as more than just his best friend.

~

When the team got to the police station, you stuck to the back of the group while JJ and Hotch made introductions.

“Detective Miller,” Hotch said, holding his hand out. “I’m Agent Hotchner. You’ve already spoken to Agent Jareau. This is SSA Gideon, Dr. Reid, SSA Morgan, and SSA (L/N).”

“Wait. Little nerdy (Y/N) (L/N)?” the detective said, finally noticing you. “Wow, who would have thought you’d come back to Newton?” You swallowed hard, keeping your eyes down.

“Do you have a place we can set up a case board?” Spencer asked, noticing your unease.

“Sure.”

“Did you know the victims well?” JJ asked him.

The detective nodded. “We all do. Kelly’s my son’s teacher. Julia and I dated in high school. Our kids are friends.”

“Does everyone in town know each other well?” JJ asked as she helped you pin the crime scene photos to the board.

“Of course. We’re like a family. When your town only has 300 people, you have to look out for each other.” You couldn’t hold back your scoff. “You have something to say there, (Y/N)?”

“She’s Agent (L/N) to you,” Gideon interrupted. “JJ, Julia Coleman’s family is here.”

~

“You look different,” Detective Miller said to you as you worked late to help nail down the profile. “You look good.”

“Detective Miller-”

“Come on, you can call me Tim.” He stepped closer to you. “You don’t have to be so professional.”

“Excuse me,” you said, though it was no more than a whisper. You slipped out of the room and stood outside the precinct, leaning against the wall. You pulled a small box out of your jacket pocket.

“Since when do you smoke?” Spencer asked you, coming up next to you.

You lit a cigarette and took a drag before saying, “Since high school.” Seeing Spencer’s concern, you said, “Relax, I haven’t for a while. It’s only when I get really stressed.”

“You know, each cigarette takes about seven minutes off your life.”

“If it’s seven minutes I don’t have to spend with Timothy Miller or anyone else from this damn town, then I don’t care.”

“What did he do to you?”

You shook your head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Come on, (Y/N), it’s me. Talk to me. Please?”

You looked at your best friend’s pleading eyes and sighed. You put out your cigarette and said, “You know I didn’t have a good high school experience. After my mom died, my dad moved us to his childhood home. I moved schools halfway through the first semester. I was the weird new kid who wore all black with braces and clunky glasses and was way too into Stephen King books. I was an easy target.” You cleared your throat. “Julia and Tim were my biggest tormentors. When they dated, it was worse.”

“What do you mean?” Spencer asked.

You chewed your lip. “Tim asked me to the prom when he and Julie were on an off period of their relationship. I got so excited, like an idiot. I mean, I knew he didn’t like me in that way. After all, why would he?” You laughed, but there was no joy behind it. Spencer felt his heart clench at how you saw yourself. He thought you were the most beautiful, amazing woman to ever exist.

“But I thought at least I’d have a friend, you know? I rented a dress and did my hair, all that stuff. Tim said he was going to pick me up. He never came.” Your eyes burned with tears at the memory. “The worst part was, my dad didn’t know there was anything going on. After-after my mom died, he gave up. When he wasn’t working, he was drinking and smoking.” You shook your head. “Tim just brought all those feelings back.”

Spencer reached out and wiped the tears off your cheek. “You didn’t deserve any of that. No one deserves that.”

“Carrie was my favorite book in high school. I wonder what that says about me.”

“Why don’t we head back to the hotel?” Spencer offered, holding his hand out to you. “Rest might help us with the case.”

~

The next morning, the team discovered there was another murder. Misty Lincoln had been killed in the same way as the other two victims. Spencer was graphing the geographical profile while you sat at the table, staring at the crime scene photos.

“You see something?” Hotch asked you.

“I’m not sure. Uh, could I- could I take like two hours? I think there might be something that’ll help us in my dad’s old things.”

“Sure. But you’re not going alone. Take Reid with you.”

You knew better than to argue with your boss. “Yes, sir.”

When you and Spencer got into the SUV, your fingers started tapping the steering wheel as you drove, letting muscle memory guide you. You pulled into the parking lot of a storage facility. Spencer followed behind you as you passed row after row of storage units. When you finally stopped, you flipped through your keychain until you found one you were looking for. You hadn’t spoken to Spencer since getting in the car back at the station, and he was starting to worry.

After you opened the door to the unit, you looked at Spencer. “After my dad died, I moved all his stuff here. I got rid of some stuff, of course. What would I ever do with an old couch that had more cigarette burns than upholstery?” You ran your hand over a white garment bag. The golden lettering was faded, but Spencer could still make out the word bridal, and what he could infer was the word boutique from the few remaining letters. “Some things I just couldn’t get rid of.”

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Spencer asked you, picking up a picture at the top of an open box. You were between who he could only assume were your parents, and you all looked happy. You looked just like your mother. The small you, who couldn’t be much older than 8, clung to the woman’s side. Your father had his arm around your mother’s waist. It all looked very domestic.

“Sure,” you said, digging through a box at the back of the unit.

“Why have you been acting so different since we got here? I mean, you’ve been acting so meek and timid, which isn’t you. I once heard you threaten a cop that you would, and I quote, ‘shove your foot so far up his ass that he would taste the mud on your shoe.’ What’s going on?” He set the frame back on the top of the box.

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess… I spent so long trying to distance myself from this place and when I came back, I was back to being a scared little 15-year-old.”

“But, you’re not, (Y/N). You’re strong and confident.” It was then Spencer heard you sniffle and noticed you were crying. “(Y/N)?”

You wiped your face. “Sorry. It’s just… I worked so hard for the image of me that you all see and-and I’m just so afraid that being here is going to erase all that. I worked so hard at the Academy to form an identity that wasn’t this and-”

“(Y/N), (Y/N), hey,” he said, taking your hands in his. “Breathe. Our image of you is not going to change just because your old tormentors are here. I- uh, we, the team, we love you. You’re our family. I think Garcia would riot if Hotch ever tried to get rid of you.” You chuckled at that and it made him smile. “Now, how about we get out of here and work more on our profile?”

~

When you got back to the precinct, Hotch asked you, “Did you find what you were looking for?”

“Yeah.” You pulled an old yearbook out of your bag. “All the victims are from the same graduating class, and they were all in the same extracurriculars. Look.”

“We’re ready to give the profile,” Gideon said after flipping through the book.

Your team gathered the police department to deliver your preliminary profile.

“We’ve come to the conclusion that our unsub can only be a local,” Spencer said. “He-”

“There’s no way,” Officer Miller interrupted. “No one in this town would do that. Besides, why would I trust this walking stick insect over the people I’ve known my whole life? You’re wrong, Stick-Bug.”

“How dare you,” you said, stepping forward. The rest of your team stepped away. They knew what was coming. No one would say it, but they all knew how you and Spencer felt about each other. “How dare you talk to Spencer that way. Captain Bell invited us here to help you find out who’s murdering members of your community. You have no right to talk to my family that way.”

“Your family? These people are your family?”

“A family is anyone who makes you feel loved, and by that definition, yes. These people are my family. And if you ever talk to any of them like that again, I will bring your life crashing down around you with one simple phone call.”

“Oh, look who’s finally got a backbone,” Tim laughed. “Little (Y/N) thinks she sounds all big and threatening.”

“It’s not a threat, Timothy, it’s a promise,” you said. “And I’m sure Captain Bell would take you off this case if I told him you have a conflict of interest. I’m sure he’d love to know you’d had an affair with one of the victims. You and Julia never could stay away from each other, could you?”

Spencer fought a smile at seeing you return to yourself, as well as seeing Timothy’s face pale. He chewed the inside of his cheek, trying to think of a way to thank you.

~

The case was finally over. Like always, Spencer had been right. The unsub was a guy from your graduating class who felt the women from your class shunned and mistreated him. Thankfully, you were able to sympathize with him and get him to come in without any extra violence.

Hotch was giving the team the night in the hotel before heading back to Quantico in the morning. You were flipping through the channels on the hotel’s TV, already in your pajamas by 8:30. You finally settled on some old reruns of Friends when there was a knock at your door. You groaned and extracted yourself from your blanket cocoon and trudged over to the door.

“Spence? What are you doing here?” you asked after opening your door to reveal Spencer, still in his work clothes.

“Come with me, I want to show you something.”

“Spencer, I’m in my pajamas-”

“That doesn’t matter. Just, come with me. Please?”

You tugged your old sweatshirt on and followed Spencer down the hallway, to the elevator.

“Where are we going?” you asked him.

“It’s a surprise.”

“A surprise?”

“You trust me, right?”

“Of course, I do, Spence. You know that.”

“Okay well,” he covered your eyes with his hands and guided you forward. He dropped his hands and said, “surprise.”

You were standing on the patio of the hotel’s restaurant, the tables had been pushed to the side and lights were strung up all around.

“Spence, what’s all this?” you asked as he gently pulled you to the center of the patio.

“A way to say thank you,” he said. When he saw the confusion on your face, he said, “For sticking up for me at the precinct. I know it must have been hard to stand up to Detective Miller. And-and I remember you telling me that you don’t have many good memories here, and then I thought about your prom story, so…” He held his hand out to you as music started playing. “May I have this dance?”

You smiled and took Spencer’s hand. He rested his free hand on your waist, and your free hand rested on his shoulder as the two of you gently swayed to the soft music coming from the patio’s speakers.

“How’d you pull this off?” you asked him.

His smile was a bit sheepish. “Morgan and Garcia helped me pull some strings.”

“Of course they did. Garcia is the all-powerful puppet master.”

Spencer laughed as the two of you continued to dance. When Spencer heard you sniffle, he stopped and pulled away.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He brushed a tear off your cheek. “Did I do something wrong?”

You shook your head and smiled at him. “No. It’s happy tears.” When you saw that Spencer still looked confused, you explained, “I never thought I’d have someone in my life who cares about me this much. I mean, look at all this. You did this just to make me happy.” You rested your forehead against Spencer’s and wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers playing with his hair. Spencer’s arms wound around your waist, pulling you closer.

“Of course I did. I love you. I-I mean, I care about you. Because you’re my best friend and-”

“Spence,” you said, stopping his rambling. You pressed a soft kiss to his lips, lingering for just a moment.

Spencer’s brain, which usually worked at three times the speed of the average person, slowed to practically a halt. You had just kissed him. The girl he’s been longing for just kissed him. She kissed him . You were about to say something to him when his brain finally caught up and he kissed you back.

When the two of you pulled apart, you said, “Well, I guess my prom was worth the wait.”

Spencer smiled at you and kissed your forehead before continuing to dance with you.

~

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." -Anais Nin

[pyrrhiccomedy]

Hello ☺️, I’ve heard from your lovely lady companion Emily that you’re a very seasoned DM! I was wondering if you had any advice for beginners to DMing when it comes to things like improvising and making sure your first session has an impact on the players as their introduction to the world. Any advice at all would be a lifesaver! Thank you ☺️✌🏻

holy shit, a question about DMing. you have freed me, stranger. I can stop blogging about Troy (2004). 

First of all, I’m really excited to hear that you’re going to be DMing for the first time! DMing is understandably intimidating, but it’s also incredibly creatively fulfilling, and it’s something you’ll still be learning how to do better after 25 years. 

Okay, so let’s talk about session 1.

Your first session has a lot of lifting to do. You want to make an emotional impact, you want your players to learn about the world, you want to convey tone and genre, and you want your PCs to have a chance to band together and form quick connections.

I really can’t say enough good things about session 1 being about An Escape, because an escape scenario immediately poses a whole bunch of really valuable questions.

What is a crime in this world?

Who are your natural adversaries?

Why should you trust & rely upon your new party members?

What is violence like in this game? This says a lot about your game’s tone.

What will the next few sessions be about?

Literally, in 3 of the last 4 campaigns I’ve run, session one was An Escape. I’ll walk you through the set-ups for 2 of them (the third is a one-on-one campaign, so maybe not as useful to you).

In Vampire: the Masquerade, the party (all vampires) woke up staked to the ground in the basement of an abandoned school, captives of the fanatical inquisitorial group, the Society of Leopold. None of them had met each other before, all of them were confused, angry, scared, and low on blood.

What is a crime in this world?

Just being a vampire is a crime. You can be brutally attacked, captured, and murdered for being what you are. Your only recourse is to fight for your life.

Who are your natural adversaries?

Vampire hunters. They are not as strong or as fast as you, but they have dirty tricks up their sleeves and fanatical conviction on their side, and they do not see you as human.

Why should you trust & rely upon your new party members?

Without them, you will not escape your predicament. You know you can trust them because you have a common enemy. Each of them will have a chance to solve a problem with a unique skill that you do not possess, driving home that you can solve dangerous problems together that you could not overcome on your own. 

What is violence like in this game? This says a lot about your game’s tone.

Fast, flashy, bloody, and dark. Descriptions of injuries are savage; heads get torn off, chests get ripped open, shadows pinwheel wildly as the sole hanging light in the ceiling gets knocked around amidst the violence. But there’s a slick cool to all of it. You are in real danger, but you are also capable of dealing out grievous and acrobatic harm.

What will the next few sessions be about?

Upon your escape, the Prince of the city charged you all with seeking out the leaders of the hunters. Best not to disappoint him.

In my Call of Cthulhu campaign, the characters were all prisoners on a bus to the gulag, in Russia in 1938.

What is a crime in this world?

Literally anything, if you have displeased the wrong people. One of you received a letter you shouldn’t have seen. Another one wrote seditious poetry. Another was rude to a secret police officer during an investigation. Another literally has no idea why he’s here. There is a cold, kafkaesque indifference to the notion of fairness in this world. You have been disenfranchised and shipped off to do hard labor for almost nothing at all. Do not bother to look for reason in the machinations of the state.

Who are your natural adversaries?

The NKVD. They are all-powerful, all-seeing, and brutal. They could kill every last one of you right here in the snow, and so long as they filed the correct paperwork afterwards, there will be no follow up investigation. They have the key to the vehicles, they have warm clothes, they have all of the guns, they have the radio that is your only way of contacting the outside world. You don’t even have coats that will keep out the freezing wind. If you want what you need to escape this place, you will have to take it from them.

Why should you trust & rely upon your new party members?

You will be shot, if you try to escape alone. The tundra is vast and the NKVD are always watching. Your only hope is to cause confusion and hope that your numbers count for more than your jailers’ guns. And once you’re out, into Siberia? conditions are so hostile you have no choice but to band together for survival.

What is violence like in this game? This says a lot about your game’s tone.

Almost instantly fatal. You are shown fellow prisoners (NPCs) get headshot by the NKVD captain and drop to the ground, dead. Another NPC has a broken leg, and cannot participate in combat at all. If you get hurt, that’s it. There are no health potions or magic spells that will mitigate the effects of bullets and the biting wind.

What will the next few sessions be about?

As you escaped, you saw strange apparitions across the snow, which caused the radio to malfunction. You are fleeing in your stolen truck from the NKVD, but where are you going? Where can you go, except towards the mystery?

Escapes are great, too, because as a DM, your list of things you need to prepare is pretty concrete. You need:

- Mooks

- A boss for the mooks

- a map of the immediate area, so your players know what avenues of potential escape they have

- a couple of NPC fellow prisoners for them to talk to & for you to kill along the way (alternately, this can be a great way to link the party up with future quest-givers straight from the jump).

- A list of possible resources to aid in their escape that they might be able to get their hands on (a fire axe? a radio? a car?)

- A couple of ideas for spanners to throw in the works (if things are too easy/going too quickly, maybe this NPC fellow prisoner turns on them, hoping to curry favor with the NKVD; maybe one of the hunters has a flamethrower to force the vampires to double back; maybe it starts to snow with white-out conditions, maybe something is being filmed right outside and the vampires can’t bust through the steel doors without potentially breaking the Masquerade).

Another great thing about escapes is that they’re geographically isolated. So you don’t need to have The Entire Starting Zone figured out from session 1: you just need to know about this one truck stop in Siberia, or this abandoned school in Queens. When they gain access to the wider world, the session ends, and you should have an idea of where they want to go next.

And if any of their captors survive, you may have an act 1 villain on your hands. Don’t get too attached to the idea that any of them WILL survive; but if they do, and the party bears them a grudge, find them a place in the story, flesh them out as an adversary. Your Big Bad means nothing to them yet, but Captain Volkov, the NKVD captain who pursued them across the ice like a relentless automaton, scares them.

Another thing I like about escapes is that they feel very natural. There is no quest giver; they have an obvious goal they can all agree on, and the obstacles to achieving it are built into the situation. It’s a solid framework for an adventure that you can pack a lot of worldbuilding detail into along the way.

Good luck!