#genuinly about to burst into tears

[serialgirlposter]

Love when i look something up and find a fucked up wikipedia entry about it

[pinkanonwrites]

I am not sure if your ask is only closed for requests or for chatting and musings as well and if it is please ignore but:

The idea of Vash not knowing about Periods is doubly funny to me because I feel like Vash… actually has a good grip on how human reproduction is supposed to go and what it entails beyond Penis goes into Vagina stuff, like, he feels like someone who at least knows that the penetrater has a seed and the receiver has an “Egg” inside them and when a sperm enters the egg it grows into a fetus. Like, that’s what he KNOWS about reproduction but nobody ever bothered to tell him that when this doesn’t happen the uterus actually sheds said egg. Like he genuinly thought it was just always kind of in there and conceiving is just a matter of trying over and over until it takes, ignoring everything else. So now I am not only amusing myself with the mental image of Vash freaking out when he realizes his partner is bleeding because his mind immediately jumps to an internal wound that’s so severe it starts to leak, but also him sheepishly trying to find books or gather the courage to ask someone about it because that gap in education was almost as emberassing as it was to find out he completly overreacted.

Also Vashs partner taking him him aside and telling him their Period is late and him just… not reacting to it for a few seconds because his brain hasn’t made the connection yet, until realization hits him like a train.

No worries, ask box is only closed for requests. I'm always up to chat!

This is exactly what I was thinking too! He gets the gist of everything that goes into human reproduction, but somehow no one bothered to mention what a period was to him yet (thousands of years in the future and it's still a taboo topic, boo). It's not like it was the first thing on his mind to learn about, or even in the top 10. He's been more worried about atoning and surviving than anything else.

He's a very loud and very teary panicker, so worried that he hurt you in some way and you were just playing nice to spare his emotions and oh god, what if you tore something? What if something ruptured? He thinks you're gonna bleed out in bed and it's all because he fingered you too good. You've gotta reassure him and explain quick before he bundles you in a sheet and drags you to the nearest hospital.

Eventually he'll gather the courage to ask you about it, incredibly red in the face at his own naivete the entire time. A hundred and fifty years, and he's still got quite a bit to learn about humans, it turns out. It takes a few minutes to click when you mention your period is late, he knows PLANT and human DNA is somewhat compatible, but it's such a finicky thing that he never wanted to get his hopes up. As soon as it clicks it's like fireworks going off in his head, he just bursts into tears all over again.

[runawayonryo]

dancing with your ghost (seong gi hun x reader fluff)

warnings: fluff, PTSD, death, sadness, angst, depictions of violence, ED

recommended song to listen to whilst reading: https://youtu.be/pY8oa8XS3ko

_____________________________________________

A loud thud echoed through your small apartment that you shared with gi-hun, as you slammed the door shut. You placed your purse on the modern wooden coffee-table infront of the sofa, before throwing your phone next to it. You honestly didn't care if it breaks, despite your tough money situation with the loan sharks. You briefly looked around to see if your husband <gi-hun> was home, he wasn't. yet.

Your body was shaking, your cold hands especially. Vision blurred by tears, and red marks on your hands from biting down on them out of nervousness. Every time you had to cry, you grew nervous, you found yourself to be an extremley ugly and annoying crier, so you just swallow it. Ignore your emotions, until you finally burst.

Your day was already horrible, your boss at the bookstore you worked at, constantly bullying and/or framing you for many economical issues with the small and unpopular buisness.

You sat down on the couch, not even grabbing a snack. You haven't eaten in nearly two days and you desperatley tried to hide it form your husband. You knew exactly how he'd react if he found out. He wasn't a bad man, certainly not. He was extremley caring, and if he found out you haven't eaten, he'd nearly force you to. He'd beg and beg, before inevitably forcing you to eat at least a little. Not to make you feel bad, he'd feel guilty himself. He just wants you to be healthy, happy, and most importanly, comfortable.

Your thoughts wandered, before you slowly closed your eyes, nearly instanly drifting off into a slumber. when suddently, a loud crash. your eyes sprung open, to see gi-hun carefully picking up a broken glass from the ground he has dropped seconds prior. His gaze lifted, staring deep into your sleepy state. "i'm sorry sweetheart, didn't mean to wake you-" his voice low and raspy, but so comforting and soft- you adored it so much.

You chuckled,

"it's alright... didn't mean to sleep anyway-"

As he realized you were getting up, he dropped his previous occupation to assist you.

When his large warm hands helped your shaky legs up, your gaze met his once again. His soft brown eyes making your heart skip a beat.

"i'll- be back in a second-"

you mumbled as he let go of you, looking after you slowly walking towards the bathroom. He was genuinly confused as to what was going on, but didn't want to "annoy" you just yet. But just as you went to shut the door, your phone rang. You let out a loud sigh, "don't worry, i got it-" your husband mumbled, bringing your phone over. You accepted it with a wide smile, before vanishing into the cold bathroom.

You checked the number before picking up, identifying it as your friends mother. You were close to her, since your own mother, never contacted you after you moved out. She ignored every call, message, letters etc.

Gi-hun, whilst cleaning the broken wineglass, sang to himself. He did this often, you've always found it adorable how he'd randomly start singing to himself, sometimes even whole songs-not just snipbits.

You vividly remember your wedding, instead of a pianist, gi-hun was the entertainer. Fair enough, you couldn't afford an entertainer. But he had talent, he wasn't an astonishing singer, but definitley enough for your heart to melt. His soft hands wrapped around your waist as he softly sang to you, weraing his fanciest black suit, you cherished this moment more than anything else. He was one of the few people you had in your life, that genuinly cared about you.

continuing to sing to himself, he put the shards in the bin, before grabbing two in-tact wine glasses, filling them halfway with redwine. He swiftly walked to the coffeetable, placing them beside each other. then, there he sat, waiting for your return. He was able to quietly hear you on the phone, whilst he still waited. His gaze, wandering through the room, it was mostly clean, but his gaze landed on the plate of food on the dining table, before he went to work, he'd always either cook for you, or quickly grab something for breakfast for you, making sure you ate. But he realized, it was untouched. This worried him, but he tried to ignore any negative thoughts, maybe you grabbed something yourself? His concern was quickly replaced with shock and fear as he heard a loud thud from the bathroom. Jumping up, he ran towards the bathroom, knocking on the door several times. It was dead silent, as he tried to open to door, he found it locked.

Which was unusual since you never locked the bathroom, you were married, and gi-hun always respected your privacy, so why would you? This made him feel even worse, he ran through the house, looking for a spare key, begging and praying that you were alright and mabye... something just fell down?

When he finally got ahold of a spare key in the kitchen, he heard a quiet mix of a scream, and cry from the bathroom. Sending him into his protective nature, within a second he stood before the door again.

After unlocking the white door, he saw you sitting on the ground, head leaned against a wall, facing away from him and the door. as you realized the door was open, you turned your head slightly, before returning to your original position. Your husband, immediately, falling to his knees beside you.

"baby- baby- hey hey..."

his deep voice soft and concerned, as he carefully turned your head, revealing one of your hands covering your mouth, the other still holding your phone. Muffled cries escaped your lips as he removed your hand covering your mouth. His eyes widned as blood dripped from your lips, from biting down to silence your usually loud cries and sobs. He knew this, it wasn't new to him. But it always broke his heart seeing you like this.

"shhh- baby- what- what happened?"

he whispered as he swiftly grabbed some toilet paper, holding it to your bleeding under-lip.

you gasped for air, before muttering something he could hear properly.

"i-i'm sorry sweetheart, i didn't hear that-"

"she's gone!"

you practically screamed, as you lowered your head, tears pouring from your red cheeks.

"hey baby... shh- who?"

He whispered softly, using his other hand to raise your head again, before it cupped your cheek as his tumb wiped away any tears.

"jusoo, she- she had breast cancer- remember?"

You mumbled, barely loud enough for gi-hun to hear, and indeed. He did remember, at the news of her passing, his eyes teared up in empathy, he didn't know her... but he felt what you felt in this moment-

"i- i'm so sorry baby.. c-come here-"

He pulled you close, allowing you to rest your head on his chest, as one of hands still held the tissue preventing your lip from beeling, the other was now resting on your stomach, facing him.

Soft kisses on your forehead as he allowed you to let it all out. everything... everything that was building up for weeks, and now this-

"i-i miss her-"

Your voice became raspy from the nonstop crying and sobing, gi-hun's hand was now wet from the tears pouring onto his soft skin, as you felt his warm breath against your cheek as he brought his face closer to yours.

"i know darling- i'm so sorry-"

he whispered against your skin, as he pressed another soft kiss against your cheek. Bringing his gaze up, his eyes met yours.

His loving brown eyes, were like the only light in the seemingly endless void -for you-.

Taking a deep breath, he seemed as if he thought before he spoke.

"sweetheart, sometimes people leave us.. they do- but- they're in a much better place now- and they still-"

His warm hand resting on your stomach, slowly moved up to where your heart was. His gaze shoftly leaving yours.

"remain in your heart- all the love- memories- are still here"

When your gaze met his once again, you couldn't help but smile a little. Still crying, but feeling a little better... You place your hand on-his resting on your chest.

"see, loss isn't easy- i know my love- but they aren't truly gone... until you've forgotten-"

His soft comforting words relieving your anxiety and emotions, you knew his words were full of love... and right. You were able to see his long exhausting past, still behind his eyes that were always soft and caring.

"i.. know"

You murmed, as you motioned fo gi-hun to remove his hand from your lip, which he did. It seemed like it stopped bleeding, grating a sigh of relief from your husband.

Before he could continue his words, your head leaned on his shoulder, making him rest his hands on your back. Gently patting every few seconds, assuring you that he was always there for you.

"sweetheart-?"

you hummed against his shoulder

"have you eaten anything today-?"

You weren't ready for this, his concerned words made you begin to cry one again. The tears soaking into his white button-shirt, which made him realize that you, probably haven't.

"it's alright darling- listen... i- i'm not mad- I'm worried"

"no-"

you whispered against his shoulder.

"i haven't-"

"what's the last thing you ate?"

he asked, as his hands moved from your back, to slowly bring your face infront of his again. You didn't dare to stare into his eyes, and he realized this-

"look at me baby- i'm not mad. i promise"

Your gaze met his, as he smiled slightly

"i- i think it was sushi"

his eyes widened at the mention of your last meal.

"darling- we went to that sushi restaurant, two days ago!"

He said, visibly shocked, making your eyes water again-

"oh no no shh- baby"

His right hand went to cup your cheek, as he pressed a kiss against your forehead.

"it's okay- but you have to eat something-"

"i- i will-"

"good- and... don't forget what i said- alright darling?"

You nodded before his soft red lips, met yours for a heartwarming kiss.

"ramen?"

"please-"

you mumbled, as your gaze met his, before he pulled you in for one more kiss, his hand that cupped your cheek, now playing with your hair.

"i love you sweetheart"

"i love you too"

[choleraciemna]

Speaking Honestly

2.

Tulsi guessed he's probably cleaning himself somewhere. Washing all the crud she said. I recall that sight. Sage covered with blood all over. Bright red on his lips. Dry and dark on his chest. Dripped from a wound that no longer exists. There is just a little spot of clean skin, smooth and unbrocken. Where Zenith pierced him. I reflexively clench my hands around the scabbard.

I thought I'd be sick of even seeing that sword again. I saw it going to take Sage's life. But when it appeared in Tulsi's hands I felt some strange relief. Like finding a lost piece of puzzle on the floor after hours of searching. And when she handed it to me, when I took it and promised to return it to Sage... it felt just right. It's weight calms me some unexpected way, makes me feel like everything's back at it's place. Good feeling not going to lie. Last days everything became a complete mess.

I catch myself imagining Sage again, his beautiful silver hair drenched with dark blood, his eyes hidden under that mess. I could not meet his gaze no matter how much I wanted. This memory hurts. What a fool I am to daydream of scary and painful memories. All I need is just concentrate and remember where that pool is. That one Sage had shown me earlier. With his eyes shining as always when Sage shares some place he likes. I bet he came there. The only problem is I'm not sure at all how to get there.

Speaking honestly I'm not even sure where I am now. The castle is much more big and tangled if you're not sneaking with Sage. He definitely has some unfathomable talent on finding spots and shortcuts. I can't help but stop and smile. Sage surely would laugh if I put it this way in front of him. UnFATHOMable talent for hide and seek in Fathom tower. He'd chuckle and give me THAT leer. Uh. Really, will he ever look that airily in front of me again? Will I see him smiling sheepishly, laughing carelessly the way he used to? That special his own way, so boyish and genuine. The most ennoying and adorable way I ever saw. I need to see him immediately.

Two things happen at the same time. I hear a splash and I almost fall down with my feet hooked in something laying on the floor. The last moment I manage to balance and stabilize. And this is when I see dirty clothes and pieces of armor thrown all around and a mysterious turquoise light reflecting on the seilings and one remarcably tall and also remarcably dirty boot curled under my feet. Looks like lost in my thoughts I somehow found my way to that pool I was looking for. And I guess I recognise those dirty pieces on the floor around. I pick them one by one coming closer to where the splashes were heard.

And am I not prepared for what I see. Not at all. Nobody could've blame me though. Sage is undressed with his marvelous hair unbraided, his skin wet, his eyes shining and his fangs sparkling in a pleased grin. He looks so naturally, so casually. Water drops on his chest and stomach shine and time after time suddenly tricle down the relief of his well toned muscles accentuating it with wet tracks. I wish I could draw him like this.

I shake my head and notice an impressive exhibition of uncorked bottles beside Sage. His ears perk as he raises to face me grinning wider. I can't help starting. No fresh wounds, only old scars. Without his red coat I can see more of those scars. They cross his body here and there like some cruel tracks of his past adventures.

And he's got more of those twin catlike stripes. A pair of strypes on his shoulder, another pair crossing his bicep, one more above his hip bone... Heck, I must stop staring. Sage smirks friendly. He says I finally found him, he offers me a drink. And I just stand there like a fool silently marvelling his features, learning them by heart. Till he asks what's there with my face. Damn.

He asks if I like what I see. I meet his eyes confidently.

"Uh, just thought it's a little strange"

His pupils pierce me.

"What's strange?"

"To think of it I never got to see your shoulders before. I mean I see your niples every day. But I never saw your shoulders till now. Isn't it a bit uncommon?.."

Sage burts into laughter.

"You can also show me a little more of you... Or just enjoy the water. It's really nice. And despite the fact you weren't in a hurry there are still some drinks left"

He notices all the things I carry.

"Oh, looks like you found my trousers, thank you, just put them... somewhere"

He shrugs and laughs genuinly.

I lower my burden slowly and carefully. Caring to place the scabbard with Zenith where it won't drop to the water. Then I pick some piece from that dirty pile and throw at him. I fail and it goes underwater with a popple.

"Hey!" Sage dodges giggling. "I meaned put it, not give it to me immediately!"

I pick another piece wich appears to be one of his boots.

"You're certainly glad to see me"

I throw better this time.

"Ouch!" He's clearly enjoying it.

"Better save your breath. An ancient relic couldn't kill me and now you try to finish the work with my old boot?"

That's it. I have no idea how I manage to get close to him in no time.

"You!.." My both fists land on his flat pecs. This time I hit him with no jokes. I can't even understand why suddenly my vision's gone so blurry. Why do my eyelids sting. What shakes me from inside. Why is my face all wet.

Tears burn their paths down my cheeks and futher down his chest. Sage holds me as tight as if one's life depended on it, his face concerned and guilty. He pats my back and holds my nape digging his fingers into my hair. He presses me to himself like he's going to crash me. I really don't mind.

"I thought you were dying for real" My hands graze his chest helplessly.

"I thought I was loosing you" I touch his neck, the damp curling strands of his hair falling down his collarbones.

"...so much blood. I had no idea one can survive loosing so much blood" I pet the thin scar on his jaw, my fingers trembling. Sage shivers. He closes his eyes. I pet his cheekbones with feather light touches. I think I stopped crying finally. But then it bursts out of me unstopable like some huge wave.

"Sage, Sage!.. You're alive... Unhurt..." My voice traits me. Simply dies in my throat. Only pathetic sobs left, weak and low.

Sage grips me silently holding his breath. He waits two heartbeats after I quiet down completely. Then his warm lips reach my forehead, touch my closed eyelids gently. Sage kisses lightly my wet lashes and the thin sensitive skin below my eyes. So very carefully. And then meeting no objections his lips press my cheeks just a little harder and warmer. Sage's mouth wanders all over my face gethering tears. The tip of his tongue is hot and almost dry.

I realise what the sound is. A very low purr soothing me, enveloping me in the most intimate, the most tender, the happiest feeling.

I could never tell how much time passed. Guess, I could've spent the rest of my life like that.

"Your feet!.." Sage whispers sharply.

At first I don't get what he's saying at all. Then I look down to see both of us standing in the pool ankle-deep. I notice Sage's long supple tail curling around my thighs. And unlike Sage I'm still fully dressed. My shoes are completely underwater. I look down and chuckle sheepishly.

"Let me!.." Sage loosens his grip on me to help me sit on the edge of the pool. Then he holds my left foot like some precious thing and takes off the shoe. He pours water out of it and puts the shoe on a dry spot near abandoned pile of his belongings.

"I can carry you from here right to your bed since your boots are all wet" Sage smirks at me repeating all the actions with my right shoe.

"What about your wet... everything?" Both of us chortle.

"Well... I'II think of it later. After we share this nice warm bath maybe" His big pointy ears stick out in different directions asymmetrically.

"You see, the water's quite perfect."

[gringolet]

Do you think lancelot is a mary sue/gary stu??? I think thats one of the reasons why he is hated

i think this is a really interesting question!! okay tl;dr: no, and also that term is not a useful one for discussing characters.

So we’ll star with the term itself, which is now actually decried by its creator. There are better ways to describe and critique characters who for one reason or another, don’t work in the story, which is when you boil it down the actual critique central to the “mary sue” accusation, looking aside from the fact that it’s most often used to tear down any competent female character. The question we should be asking is not “is lancelot a mary sue” but does he work in the story and why does he have the abilities and place in it that he has.

That aside, still no. I get where the accusation comes from, especially if you’re main familiarity with him is malory. but lets actually look at this, right?

he is one of the best knights in the world. he doesnt win every fight, though, and he certainly doesnt win easily. in kotc, he almost dies multiple times and has to be bailed out by gawain. when he finally shows up to fight malegaunt, hes too injured from the sword bridge and passes out. he gets beat up by a twleve year old in morien, is defeated by galahad in the vulgate and le morte, and is equal to tristan, gareth and sometimes gawain.

and hes hardly flawless. chretien lancelot is canonically illiterate, as well as on a grimmer not, literally suicidal. he tries to kill himself twice in kotc, seriously. vulgate lancelot is an emotional wreck who cries constantly and gets so overwhelmed by social situations, like guinevere asking him what his name is, that he bursts into tears and has to leave the room.

actually in the dutch hart with the white foot, he gets his ass handed to him by lions and almost dies because he rushed headlong into something without thinking, and gawain has to go save him. hes pretty unequivicaly being made fun of by the narrative here, as he is in morien.

also, the entire grail quest arc is EXPLICITLY ABOUT lancelot being punished by the narrative for uh committing murder and also sleeping with guinevere. it is brutal to read how hard he tries and how harshly he is punished on the grail quest. the grail literally shoots fire at him.

and yeah, a lot of characters like him. because hes just genuinly a nice person most of the time, and he saves a lot of people. not everyone likes him, but a lot of people do. i dont know what to say here besides uh people have friends.

so in conclusion. no lancelot isnt a mary sue. no mary sue is not a term that matters. yes people hate lancelot for being a mary sue. *shrug *

edit: from the mary sue test website, from the creator of the term mary sue,

“If you still really really really want to use this test for some reason, please at least stop using the term "Mary Sue." There are far better ways to talk about characters who just don't work for one reason or another than using a term that's more often than not just used to tear down female characters simply for having a prominent, active role in a story.”

[bigoltrashpile]

i just had a nice, somewhat angsty idea, but what if s/o was a mafia boss as well? but neither s/o nor the skeleton knows the other is involved? and when the skeletons go to a meeting it's like: Suprise! s/o just walked in. s/o tries to play it cool but afterwards they try to explain, going so far as to offer to show their soul so they can see s/o genuinly loves them and it wasn't just some trick? if it gets a good ending i'll love you foreeever

All I could think of when I first got this was the two of you walking into the meeting room and doing the Spider-Man pointing meme at each other, just like, “You’re a mob boss?”  “You’re a mob boss?!” 

Mafiatale Sans: When he finds out, he gets pissed.  He can’t believe he was so stupid, why would he think that anything good would happen in his shitty-ass life?  He’s about to leave when you stop him.  You take him to a separate room and show him your soul, and he’s speechless.  You...you really trust him that much?  He could kill you so easily...but he can tell you’re not lying.  After that, the two of you make a strange, but adorable couple.  “i’m going to that deal babe, be back by nine.”  “Don’t forget your gun!”

Mafiatale Papyrus: He so desperately doesn’t want to believe it.  He starts tearing up and shaking his head, backing out of the room.  You have a hard time catching him, but when you do, and show him your soul, he’s...relieved, but still concerned.  This is a very dangerous line of work, are you sure you’ll be okay?  He might try to get you to stop once or twice, but other than that, he just ghosts you on your jobs, stepping in if anything ever goes wrong.

Mafiaswap Sans (Lucky): He teleports away in a fit of anger.  It takes you a good couple of days to hunt him down, but when you do, he doesn’t want to listen.  Until you take your soul out, that is.  He stares at it in awe, before tearing up.  He can’t believe he almost lost you because of his own impulsiveness!  He tries to make it up to you, spoiling you before sheepishly remembering you have the funds to buy these things yourself.  This is going to take some getting used to.

Mafiaswap Papyrus (Slim): It takes him a minute or so to process this new information, before he gets pissed.  He doesn’t get angry a lot, so this outburst kind of scares you.  After he cools down a little, you offer to show him your soul.  He accepts, and instantly apologizes once he sees it.  It might take him a little while to fully trust you again, but once he does, the two of you are closer than ever before.

Mafiafell Sans (Butch): He feels incredibly betrayed.  He kind of suspected that you were hiding something, but this?  You can see the sadness and the anger fight in his head while he just stares at you.  Before he can say anything, you offer to let him see your soul.  He accepts, but hesitantly.  He half wants nothing to do with you, and half wants desperately to forgive you.  You show him and he instantly bursts into tears.  He apologizes, saying that he can’t believe he ever thought you would betray him.  The two of you make the most feared couple in the city.

Mafiafell Papyrus (Noir): He storms out of the room immediately.  Of course you were just using him, why would he ever think otherwise.  He tries to hold back his emotions, but eventually goes into a random alley to cry.  That’s where you find him, suit rumpled and tears streaming down his face.  You pull out your soul in the filthy alley, and that causes a new wave of tears.  He can’t believe he just did that!  Of course you weren’t using him!  This strengthens your bond, and he admires you even more.

Mafiaswapfell Sans (Scar): He continues with the meeting, barely concealed anger in his eyes.  He can’t let his relationship interfere with his job, even if it’s tearing his soul apart.  Afterwards, you grab his hand and tug him into a separate room, much to his displeasure.  Can’t you see he wants nothing to do with you?  When you show him your soul, he covers his mouth with his hand, eyes watering.  God, he was so stupid, it seems silly to think you would betray him when he can see how much you love him right in front of him.  There might be a brief rocky period, but after that, the two of you cause absolute terror in the streets!

Mafiaswapfell Papyrus (Hound): When he sees you, he just turns out and walks right back out.  He doesn’t want to believe it, he won’t believe it!  You have to catch up to him and hold him back, begging him to hear you out.  He jokes that the only way he would believe you is if you showed him your soul, and he’s shocked when you actually agree.  When you show him, he lets out all the tears he was holding back, sobbing openly into your shoulder.  You let him hold you for a while, shedding a few tears of your own.

[jizemderler]

Buzzcut {Shawn Mendes}

A/N: Soo not all of us have luscious waist long hair. That‘s my inspo for this one, idk lol Got a lil dramatic tho. Enjoy!

Warning: Abusiv past

You‘ve been with Shawn for over a year now and you were really comfortable with him. As comfortable as you could get. You looked at yourself in the bathroom mirror and saw that your once buzzcut hair grew a few inches. It was really nerve wracking not to cut it all off immediatly so you rushed out of the bathroom trying to forget. It had been 13 years since the last time you had long wavy hair. Shawn didn‘t know why you wouldn‘t let it grow out and you were still not ready to tell him. So you didn‘t.

He was lying in bed with his phone up close to his face while one hand was resting under his head. You crawled into bed too and snuggled yourself to his side. „You ready to sleep?“ he asked you and you kind of weren‘t. „Well...“ you said and propped yourself up on your elbow and smiled at him. „You do have a free day tomorrow.“ you said and played with the edge of his shirt, „ which means you don‘t have to wake up early.“ His appearing smile made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy. He cupped your face with his free hand and put hsi phone away. „You look incredible.“ he said against your lips and you bit your bottom lip trying to hold yourself back. He leaned in closer and placed his lips on yours asking to enter with his tongue and you were happy to provide. Your hands were moving down his chest and you were about to pull up his shirt when his hand brushed into your hair and you felt a slight tug. You froze immediatly. You stopped doing what you were doing and Shawn had the feeling you turned into stone for a second. You pushed him away by his chest a little and closed your eyes to prevent the memories from bubbling up. „Shit.“ you cursed and jumped off the bed to rush into the bathroom but Shawn was quicker. „Hey, whats wrong?“ he said holding your elbow and being held back from leaving made your state even worse.

„Shawn let me go please.“ you hissed through gritted teeth and he scrunched up his brows. „Why? No. What happened? I noticed you doing this. I didn‘t say anything cause I waited for you to tell me but it‘s getting worse. Don‘t get me wrong I like your buzzcut. I love it actually. But whenever you grow it out just a tiny bit and I dare to touch it, you storm off, cutting it again. What‘s up with that?“ he asked and your mind was racing. You weren‘t ready. You couldn‘t talk about this right now. „Shawn, please. Don‘t.“ you begged him and your voice was breaking. As soon as he recognized how bad your condition was he let go of your elbow and stepped back. You rushed intot he bathroom immediatly and locked the door. Not long after, shawn heared the sound of the electric shaver echo through the apartment.

***

That was the first time Shawn mentioned anything about your weird behavior about your hair. He always thought that you just liked having short hair or that it was your statement. But after that night he was worried. It was getting weirder and weirder between the two of you and he hated it. So one day when he thought that you were in a good mood he decided to open up the topic and test the waters. He would let it go immediatly if he saw that it hurt you. But he needed to know.

„Honey?“ he said while you were both sitting on the couch. You were sitting cross legged inside of a blanket ball snacking on some popcorn. „We need to talk.“ he said and you tensed up immediatly. „I know you don‘t want to talk about it. But I need to know. I‘m worried.“ he said genuinly and you knew he was trying to help you but your eyes darted to the next exit involintarily. „Hey.“ he said taking your hand into his, intervining your fingers,“I‘m here for you.�� You knew you had to tell him at one point. Your relationship was getting better and better and more serious day by day. He needed to know. But you were scared.

You pushed the blanket away and put the popcorn onto the coffee table before turning the tv off. „So first of all, I need you to stay calm.“ you said while turning to him so you could look him into his eyes,“ I need you to stay calm for me so I don‘t loose it completly. And don‘t interrupt me, please. I don‘t know if I will be able to go on if I stop.“ you said taking his hand into yours and he intervined your fingers. „Sure.“ His brow eyes were looking soft and understanding and he gave you confidence. „I was six when he did it the first time.“ you pressed out and looked past him at the wall behind him. „I don‘t even remember what he was angry about or what had happened, but I do remember him storming into my room. His face was red from rage and I had never seen him like that before.“ you let go of his hand and placed yours on your head grabbing your imaginery hair, „ he grabbed me by my hair and pulled me out of the room. I remeber the thuds on the stairs while he dragged my downstairs by my hair. My scream filling the house, maybe even spilling outside if any windows were open. I remeber my scalp burning like hell when he finally let go in the living room where my Mom was. She was knocked out on the couch. I remember myself thinking why she was asleep when I was screaming my lungs out. I didn‘t know she had past out because of the pain.“

Your hand was still on your head moving side to side and you were in a trance like state. He wanted to hug you. He wanted to yell. He wanted to punch something all at once. But he couldn‘t. It wouldn‘t change anything and you‘d go back in your tiny little box and shut down.

„This went on for two years. I ended in the hospital several times but he always had an excuse and they believed him. Until one day,“ you said and looked into his eyes,“I was eight. My Mom had left us and it was just the two of us. It was in the middle of the night. He...was alone at night.“ you said and his hand shot forward and grabbed yours to give you strength. He knew what was coming. „Same old thing, dragging me by my hair. I once tried to cut it and he went even more mad. That night I lost a piece of me. He took it from me. He beat me up so bad afterwards that my screams woke up the neighbors and they came bursting in. I was unconsious when they found me. They took me to a hospital and due to my wounds on my head they had to shave my hair off. It was the first time I ever had a buzzcut. They made me sleep for three days before I was strong enough to wake up. And when I did I saw him. In my room. ‚You‘re not her‘ he said. ‚Wrong hair‘ he said before leaving. He snuck in without anyone seeing and snuck out without anyone seeing.“

You chuckled bitterly. „That was the moment I knew. If I had been able to cut my hair off earlier I would‘ve been free. It was my hair. This sick bastard was into my hair. Pulling it, tugging it. Dragging me by it. The sadistic prick loved it. But I was just eight. I didn‘t know. That day I swore myself to never let my hair grow ever again. I wouldn‘t give another bastard even the chance to do something like that. I know it‘s not the soloution to my problem, my therapist tried to work on it but it‘s the only way I feel safe and in power of my body. Otherwise I will lose myself.“

Your face was wet from the tears and so was his. „I love you Shawn. It took me thirteen years to even come near a guy intimatly. I can even let my hair grow a few inches without loosing my marbles. But whenever someone else touched it, I go straight back. Into that licing room. Into pain. Senseless pain and torture. Weakness. And I just can‘t. I have to work this out myself. I wish my love for you could like in movies but it can‘t. This is something I have to deal with.“

Shawn was speechless. He couldn‘t even move or think or do anything for that matter. He never would‘ve thought that it would be this horrible. He knew that your Mom was not your biological Mom. But he never thought of it this way. He never thought about why the system gave you into a family with a single mom. He hated all of this. He hated that it happened to you. He hated that he couldn‘t do anything about it. He hated him with all his being.

„I‘m sorry.“ was the only thing he could say and he was.

„Don‘t be. You‘re not responsible. I‘m just fucked up.“ you said chuckling and it felt like a weight got lifted up from your chest. „My therapist told me telling you would help me but I didn‘t believe her. We‘re going to tell her this. I can‘t stand her being right.“ you tried to joke but Shawn was still in shock. „I love you so much.“ he blurted out and looked at you in awe. He loved the strong, independent woman that was sitting infront of him. He admired your strength and your being over all. „So fucking much.“ he added and you blushed immediatly. „I love you too.“ you answerd and cupped his face. „So...you like my buzzcut.“ you said and he smiled sincerely. „I fucking love it.“

[lovelyfeh]

yes of course!! I really hope this is ok, i’ve only ever helped others with dysphoria a few times before so my knowledge on the subject is limited. feel free to ask for a rewrite if you aren’t happy with this!! (also tysm you’re too sweet ;-;) ( @gravitality )

(tw; this covers serious topics [dysphoria])

—

•While Ryoma doesn’t know much about being trans, he supports you no matter what!

•He’s yours and yours only, and will be there to lift you back up in case you fall down.

•And yet when he first experiences your dysphoria he isn’t ready.

•It’s the end of the day, and he finds you in your room staring at yourself in the mirror with tear filled eyes and shaking hands.

•He rushes to your side and scoops your tiny frame into his arms, pressing his forehead against yours and kissing your eyelids to try to calm your down.

•He’s gentle, wiping the tears away and whispering in your ear, asking what was wrong and what he could do to help.

•Silently he’s panicking, but he knows that you seeing him freak out wouldn’t help anyone.

•You can barely tell him without bursting into another crying fit, but he gets the general idea, and is quick to devise a plan inside his head.

•He gets your bed ready and lets you lay down, rushing off to make tea.

•Soon he’s sitting across from you, holding your hand quietly while you sip on the beverage. He hopes that it helps, but the sadness on your face persists.

•“My love, would you like to talk about it?”

•He doesn’t push, and if you don’t feel like sharing, he’ll simply crawl into bed with you while stroking your hair and whispering sweet compliments and words of praise as you both fall asleep.

•If you do decide to share, he’s right there with you. He’s your shoulder to cry on, the man who will save you from drowning in your own thoughts. He’ll let you vent for as long as you need to, all the while listening to your troubles.

•Whenever you feel down or your dysphoria gets especially bad, he’s right there with you, ready to push any negative thoughts you have away.

•He’s a wonderful listener, and even if you don’t want to talk about it he’s also a professional at comforting people.

•Ryoma is a very supportive and loving boyfriend, who is there for you whenever you need him. He’s always there to make sure you know that you’re valid, and even in the toughest of times, deserve nothing short of the best.

—

again I don’t know much about dysphoria, so i’m not exactly sure if this is accurate. but i genuinly hope you enjoyed, and if anyone out there needs to talk about things like this, don’t be afraid to message me!

[ever-since-harrystyles-blog]

Peaches (Part II)

Here it is, earlier than expected! Hope you enjoy, let me know what you think of it! /Kass x

A mini series about a first meeting between Y/N and Harry, and maybe a start of something great…

Part 1

Word count: 1800

Warnings: None, so far...

Y/N looked up at Harry with defeat in her eyes and she suddenly felt so small. She felt mortified. THE Harry Styles had seen her fall, face first onto the hard concrete. Everything was just so embarrasing. Y/N was so ashamed that she didn’t even notice the raw pain in her right foot and the burning sensation in her right hand, which was the first of her limbs to touch the ground. With her other hand, she grabbed onto him and he helped her to steady herself by holding onto her arm. Once he saw that she was somewhat okay, he led her to the side and sat her down while he went after the fruit which was spread out all over the side walk.

”Uhm, it’s alright, you really don’t have to do that you know… I think I can manage myself actually…” Y/N said and let out a small, nervous giggle. She stood up and went towards him, but as soon as she got there she slowly slid down to the ground again with an almost inaudible scream. Her foot had abandoned her.

”Oops, careful there. ’R you hurt?” , he put the brown paper bag with fruit next to them as he got down on his knees to see where the pain was coming from. Tears were burning behind Y/N’s eyes, but she told herself sternly NOT to cry.

”Yeah, uhm my foot kind of hurts. But it’s okay. Thanks for your help.” She didn’t want to meet his eyes once more. He had the kind of eyes you could get lost in, and she feared she might not be able to stop looking if she were to begin to. Harry took Y/N’s foot in his hand and tried to bend it, and she quickly winced from the pain.

”I can’t leave you here with a sprained ankle. I don’ live far away, lemme’ take you back to m’ place and we’ll get this sorted out? ’M really good at dealing with sprained ankles. Had them everytime as a kid.” He flashed his perfect, white teeth with the most beautiful smile Y/N had ever seen.

”Well, I guess I would be a total dingbat to say no to that then?” she said and looked him in his friendly, emerald eyes even though she promised herself not to. Harry laughed and it was like music to her ears. Y/N wasn’t mortified anymore. How could she feel so safe with someone she hadn’t ever met? And why would he, a world famous mega-star, take time from his life to assure himself that she was alright? Her thoughts were interrupted by Harry.

”A dingbat, ’eh? Haven’t heard anyone saying dingbat befo’, but I guess that’s what you’d be saying no to this.” He looked down at your foot and smiled before standing up and once again offering you his hand. He’d have to stop this, she thought, until she’d become spoiled with holding his hand. He gently put one of his hands around her back and with the other one he put your arm around his neck for support.

” ’S this okay? It doesn’t hurt?”

Y/N shook her head and hugged the fruit bag. She lied, because it still hurt quite a bit. But maybe she didn’t lie after all; because she knew she’d never felt better then right then and there with his arms around her.

When Harry said that he didn’t live far away, he surely hadn’t been lying. They walked for about three minutes and then there it was. A rather big, beautiful brown house with white ornaments on the front door and the window frames. Y/N noticed a big, leavy apple tree in the garden. Why did this remind her of home?

”So, this is where I live!” He raised his hand in a ”Voíla” kind of motion, and Y/N couldn’t help but to smile at how dorky and cute Harry looked. When they entered the house, Harry took her coat and put it on a hanger and placed her shoes next to his by the door. The first thing Y/N could see was pictures of Gemma and Harry from when they were kids. Harry caught her staring at a picture of them from when they had been on holiday. Harry couldn’t have been more than four, she reckoned.

”I liked it. I remember m’ sister didn’t. Was sick the whole week, hence the face.” Y/N nodded understandingly, and noticed that in most pictures, Harry was found smiling.

”Seems like you were a happy child?” She smirked at him and he smiled and looked down at the floor.

”Yeah I guess. I think m’ sister kind of hated the fact tha’ I was so happy all the time to be honest” He said. Before she could reply he remembered why he even brought Y/N here in the first place.

”Uhm, let’s move in to the kitchen and I’ll help you with tha’ ankle then?”

”Yeah, right…”

Y/N said, a bit scared that she had snooped a bit too much in his private life.

The kitchen was lovely, and it looked newly renovated. He pointed at the kitchen island and she sat down on it.

”I didn’t even notice your knee was bleeding. And yeh’ hand!” He said while going to a little cabinet for patches, band-aid and some chlorhexidine to wash the little wound with.

”Yeah well it’s alright, it actually doesn’t hurt that bad.”

”Well, prepare yourself ’cause this might.” He said with concentration in his voice while taking a cotton wool with chlorhexidine and gently cleaning the scraped knee. She once again winced from the pain and he assured her that he was done. He slowly pulled a patch out of the packaging and put it over her knee. He gently went over the patch with his finger and looked at her badly bruised knee, and stayed like that for a bit longer than normal. Soon, his eyes wandered up to meet hers instead. Y/N felt butterflies in her stomach by the way he was looking at her. In that moment, Y/N could swear that there was something between them. She couldn’t point out what, but there was this connection.

”Uhm, let’s do the foot” Harry said while coughing a bit. He took the band-aid and cut it long enough to be able to wrap it around the foot a few times. He gently grabbed her foot and wrapped it up, nice and steady.

”All done.” He said while getting up on his feet to face her at her level.

”Thanks” Y/N said, although it sounded more like a whisper. There it was again. The feeling, the tension between them. Harry put his hands on both sides of her and looked her square in the eyes.

”I should..”

”Do you wa..”

They looked at each other, both a bit embarrased.

”Ehrm, do you want me to call you a taxi?” Harry asked her while he took his lower lip between his thumb and index finger.

”Uhm, yeah maybe… It’s getting late and all…”

He helped her down from the kitchen island and reached for his phone. Y/N went out in the hall to put on her coat and when she turned around she saw Harry, still with the phone in his hand.

”Unless… You maybe wanna stay for dinner..? I mean, there’s a lot of food left from yesterday’s cooking and it would be nice with some company.” He looked so vulnerable standing there. And the butterflies in Y/N’s stomach were back, that was for sure.”I… I’d love that!” She said smiling and put the coat back on the hanger. Harry’s face lit up and they went into the kitchen. The dinner was all she could ever ask for, and more. She hadn’t had this much fun in such a long time. They sat there for hours and it felt like they had known each other for ages.

”I promise, I ’ave never learnt to tie m’ shoe laces correctly!” Harry laughed while taking a sip of his white wine.

”How come? Every kid knows how to do that? You learn that at the age of, like, five?” Y/N said, partly laughing, partly stunned by the fact that this man was almost 24 years old and didn’t know the right way of tying his shoe laces.

”I was sick the week they taught us tha’ at pre-school!” He said while looking somewhat defeated. Y/N coughed on her wine and burst out laughing. She laughed until she cried, probably because of the alcohol, and Harry couldn’t help but laugh at her. Midnight was starting to approach and Y/N thought it was time to go home. She didn’t want to, but she had to.

”As much fun as this has been, I think I have to head home now. My flat mate is probably wondering what took so darn long.” Harry smiled at her. She loved seeing those dimples. She wanted to see them all the time.

”It’s been my pleasure.” he said. She went out in the hall and heard Harry putting away the dishes in the sink and calling for a taxi. She quickly reached for a note pad and a pencil and scribbled down her phone number and her name, and put it in the pocket of his coat. She felt dumb. Why would he call her back? Oh my god why did she do that? Just as she was done he came towards her.

”Thank you, for everything. I really appreciated it.” she said, and she genuinly meant it.

” ’M the one to thank.” He said. They stood there and looked at each other with warmth and curiosity for a while, until they heard a honk from outside.

”Oh, uhm, I guess that’s my taxi.” She really wished it hadn’t been. She didn’t want to leave. She pulled the door handle and then Harry remembered something.

”Erhm, don’t forget your fruit!” He reached over and gave it to her.

” ’Think the peaches are a bit bruised, but I wouldn’t judge them fo’ it. They’re probably perfect despite of it.” Y/N couldn’t think straight, the butterflies were distracting her, all she could say was:

”Yeah. Let’s hope they’re good enough.” She said, looking him square in the eyes. Both of them were fully aware of what they were talking about, and it wasn’t peaches.

”Oh and, uhm… I never catched your name?” Harry looked a bit ashamed over the fact that he never asked your name.

”It’s Y/N” she said, with a wide smile on her face.

”What a lovely name! ’M Harry.”

She looked him up and down and finally, with a smirk, she said,

”I know.”

She pulled the door handle, and just like that; she was gone.

Thanks for reading, loves! stay tuned! xx

[franklyshipping]

Asking of me ~ A Markiplier Ego Fanfic

Google gritted his teeth as Wilford looked to him imploringly, he knew Wilford was entirely innocent and most likely didn’t mean to be so….consistent. However, Google decided that he wanted to change things up a little.

'Did you say “flinging puppies”? Searching instead for flinging puppies…’

'WHAT?! Nonono cancel cancel!!’

Google repressed a grin at Wilford’s mortified expression, Wilford shuddered and sighed.

'Jesus….okay let’s try something else…’

Google waited patiently as Wilford racked his brains, the droid felt a small bubble of excitement at the thought of toying with Wilford a little.

'Oh oh! How about kittens playing?’

Google’s eyes shone a little at Wilford’s innocent, hopeful look; his lips twitched as he spoke.

'Did you say “kitten flaying”? Searching instead for kitten flayi-’

'AHHH NO NO NO! DARK I THINK THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH GOOGLE?!’

There were in a spacious living room currently, Google was sat on a two person couch with Wilford situated next to him. The only other person in the room was Darkiplier, he was in his armchair with a newspaper in hand. He looked up and flicked his eyes between the two of them.

'Perhaps it’s your voice Wilford.’

Wilford glared lightly and folded his arms as Dark chuckled gently, Google perceived that he too enjoyed playing around with Wilford.

'It isn’t! He was perfectly fine before!’

Dark furrowed his eyebrows, he flicked his eyes to the droid curiously as Wilford pouted and inspected his nails. Google locked eyes with the serene man, who then raised his eyebrow minimally and flicked his head towards Wilford. Google looked over to the distracted man before looking back to Dark with a small shrug and a smile, Dark smirked slightly.

'Wilford, perhaps you should try again? Try speaking slower.’

Wilford sighed and turned back to Google who had quickly schooled his features, he gave Wilford his attention as Dark discarded his paper so he could watch the scene.

'Alright fine, search mon-ster truck-ing Google.’

Google’s shoulders shook with the force of holding back his laughter.

'Did you say “monsters fucking google”? Searching inste-’

'NO I FUCKING DIDN’T THAT’S GROSS!’

Dark burst into loud, rumbling laughter as Wilford grimaced and cringed heavily. Google could no longer hold himself back as his chest shook with gentle chuckling, Wilford immediatly looked at him confusedly.

'Wait and now he’s shaking? Dark what’s the robot version of a seizure?!’

Dark was encased in laughter as he shook his head, he grinned heavily at Google before looking to a concerned and confused Wilford.

'Hehe’s not hahaving a seizure, he’s laughing yohou moron….’

Wilford’s face immediatly slackened as he stared at Google, taking in his light chuckles and wide grin as a wave of realisation passed through him. He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes.

'Oh you piece of shit…’

Google smirked widely at Wilford’s annoyed and slightly embarrassed state, Wilford raised his eyebrows.

'Oh this is funny to you is it?’

Google’s mirth dimmed a little at the warning in Wilford’s voice, he picked up the new glimmer in his eyes and tensed his body readily. Despite Wilford’s tone, he still smiled as he retorted.

'It is somewhat amusing, yes.’

Wilford narrowed his eyes at Google who snickered gently, in his head Wilford made a decision.

'I’m gonna give you….five seconds, to run.’

Google’s eyes widened a little, there was a small spark in his core that acted as his equivalent to adrenaline as he bolted from the couch. He ran out of the room, the sound of his breathing loud in his ears before he registered the sound of fast approaching footsteps; he turned and found himself grinning at the sight of Wilford approaching him. They were both smiling, how could you not during a cat and mouse chase?

'You can go faster than that can’t you Wilford?’

He heard a loud growl emanate from behind him as the footsteps inched closer.

'YOU ARE SO GETTING IT GOOGLE!’

Google was mid-laugh when a pair of arms suddenly wrapped around him from behind, he let out a surprised shout as he was forced to the floor on his back; he looked up to see Wilford smirking triumphantly, and also quiet breathlessly.

'I…told you I’d…get you….’

Wilford gasped for breath as he sat on top of Google’s thighs, there was a short silence before the latter mumbled with a smirk.

'Tahake your time Wilford, don’t over exert yourself….’

'RIGHT THAT’S IT!’

Wilford yelled before digging his fingers into the droid’s sides, wiggling them furiously. Google’s eyes widened as a strangled yelp left his lips, making Wilford retract his fingers with a shocked expression; he grinned slowly.

'Oh…my…GOD!’

Google tried to clear his throat but the nervous glitches and jitters still plagued his voice, he shuddered under Wilford’s stare.

'W-w-wilford y-yo-ou do-on’t ne-’

'Ihi didn’t thihink that would actually wohork!’

Wilford cackled loudly as Google averted his eyes, a turquoise flush of enbarrassment slowly rising as Wilford’s eyes gleamed mischievously. Wilford decided to reach forward and spider over the exposed sides before him, and he was well rewarded.

'Ahahahaha nohohoho!’

Google jumped and jerked at the sudden sensations coursing through his synapses, Wilford was ecstatic as he squeezed the synthetic flesh curiously.

'Oh this is just perfect…’

Wilford sneered as Google tried to bat at his arms, but Wilford’s determination outshone Google’s strength as he decided to move up to dig into his ribs.

'NOHOHO STAHAHAHAP!’

Google cackled heavily as he tried clamping his arms over Wilford’s hands, which didn’t really do much. Wilford pinched the bones through his victim’s thin t-shirt, relishing in what he managed to coax out.

'Ticklish ribs G?’

He snickered when Google tried to glare at him from behind his spectacles, but his wide grin meant his expression morphed to one of…well, constipation essentially.

'CEHEHEHEASE THIHIHIS AHAHAT OHOHONCE!’

Wilford raised an eyebrow at Google’s demand, humming in faked thought as he wormed his fingers into the droid’s underarms.

'So impolite jeez, did no one ever teach ya the word please?’

Google howled as Wilford tortured his underarms, his laughter was pitched high and almost seemed to jump and twist round the room as Google himself jumped and squirmed.

'FUHUHUHUHUCK YOHOHOU!’

Wilford snickered gently.

'I’ll take that as a no…’

Wilford experimentally scribbled at the sides of Google’s neck, grinning as the droid brought his shoulders up with a loud screech.

'NAHAHAHA NAHAHAHAHAHAT THEHEHEHERE!!!’

'Ooooh, bad tickle spot huh?’

Google was almost desperate as he tried to squeeze Wilford’s fingers between his head and shoulders, but that only allowed them to be trapped as they kept torturing the sensitive area.

'STAHAHAHAHAP YOHOHOU IHIHIMBEHECIHILE!!!’

Google was still attempting to glare which amused Wilford to no end as he narrowed his eyes at the droid beneath him.

'You realise you are doing yourself no favours by insulting me right?’

Wilford slowed his touch momentarily to allow Google to breath, since that was something he did need to do. Google didn’t reply as he panted heavily, and settled for setting an annoyed expression onto his features; Wilford sighed.

'Alright, if that’s how ya want it….’ Wilford resumed his scratching and flicking at Google’s neck, making the droid yelp and descend back into desperate laughter.

'AHAHAHAHA WAHAHAHAHAIT!!!’

Wilford snickered heavily and mischievously.

'I guess we’ll have to do this the hard way!’

Google grinned widely as warm saline fluid began to build at the corners of his eyes, he knew he wouldn’t be able to last much longer. But Google would be damned if he submitted to Wilford Warfstache.

'STAHAHAHAP YOHOHOHOU FUHUHUHUCKIHIHING AHAHAHASS!!!’

Google shook and writhed defenselessly, Wilford sneered as he reached round to the back of the droid’s neck and squeezed roughly; he tutted a little.

'If only you were more polite, maybe then I’d let up on ya!’

Google grimaced as he shook and seemed to spasm, warm tears streamed down his cheeks. He had no choice. 'M

'PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEASE!!!’

Wilford grinned satisfactorily as he removed his fingers, Google gasped heavily as his eyes blinked and fluttered.

'Now, that wasn’t too hard was it?’

'Y-YE-ES!!’

Wilford was grinning widely at Google’s flustered demeanour, he shuffled off his thighs and watched curiously as Google breathed and ran a hand through his hair to neaten it. Google was relaxing a little more, especially now that his sensors were no longer being….over exerted, so to speak. There was a little silence as the two of them sat somewhat awkwardly, but after a few minutes Wilford found himself speaking up.

'Look I uh…I’m sorry if I kept asking stuff of you, I get now that it was probably really annoying-’

'Do not apologise Wilford….’

Google interrupted, smiling gently at the normally joyful man; who here and now was plagued with immense guilt. Wilford looked up at him carefully as he rested a gentle hand on his shoulder.

'To be fair, I did not notify you of how I felt, so you are utterly blameless.’

Wilford chuckled with a new grin as Google removed his hand after giving his shoulder a light pat, it was a nice comfort.

'That makes a change…’

Google laughed loudly as he stood, offering a hand to Wilford who grasped it gratefully. They both sighed as they adjusted their appearances accordingly, Google smiled genuinly as Wilford wiggled his moustache reflexively. Said man turned to him with a wide, hopeful expression.

'Ya wanna watch some puppy videos with me?’

Google’s lips wavered. He smiled again but….something in his core seemed to, just pause. And then continue. He blinked amidst his hesitation before nodding, Wilford cheered a little and was none the wiser to what Google had experienced. Wilford grabbed his wrist and dragged Google along. Emotionless. Robotic. A Machine. I think not.

hope you guys enjoy and tell me if ya did because i srsly appreciate and respect your opinions and shit so yeah 😆 luv yous xx

[in-the--afterglow]

So I was reading someone's SS story about meeting Taylor and it reminded me of this moment during 1989 when I saw her at Hyde park that Ive never really spoken about...

It was during the clean speech, id been having such a tough time that year, id been struggling for money to buy food, id been trapped in doors for a good month already because uni summer hols starts in early May and Hyde park was late June. So I was feeling so low and seeing Taylor live was the only thing keeping me going and giving me something to look foward to. Fast foward to the day and I've never been so excited!?! I knew it was going to be everything... (little did I know what surprises we had in-store! But anyway) I spent the day with such wonderful people who made me feel like I was their friend even though we'd never met before! And so it was during the clean speech that I had this like moment. I've never listened so intently to anyone speak, she was saying things that hit home harder than anything before, she validated how low id been feeling and made me feel a little stonger ❤ I was looking up at her, listening and I whispered to myself "she's real" And then I said it again but louder and I couldn't explain how it felt to say those words? I just repeated those words as I genuinly burst into heart breakingly happy tears. It almost hurt how much I loved this woman and here I was stood mere feet away from her, close enough to hear her speak without a mic and it all just hit me. This woman I adored who i looked up to, who id only ever really seen through pictures and videos (and once on the red tour but I was much further away then!) Was real? This amazing human being existed? And she was telling me I was going to be okay I think it was honestly the purest moment of emotion I've ever had... It was just so surreal that this person who had gotten me through SO FUCKING MUCH was stood right there in my air space? This other amazing girl we were hanging with just hugged me and just said I know she is it's okay and I'll never forget that... it was such a kind response 💕

That whole day will go down as one of the best of my entire life and I will never forget it. I just thought I would share *even though no one will probably read this* because it was such a crazy moment for me and I feel like it's the closest I'm ever going to get to meeting her and if that's the case im okay with that because what she did for me that day and everyday before and since was more than I could ever ask for. I hope I do but if I don't getting to be that close to her again would be enough for me ❤❤

[thereisnoneedtocallmesir]

Feel free to ignore this post, but I found another example for the "it is just an expression, you are getting upset over nothing" thing when it comes to people calling things or people, for example autistic, as an insult being crap

Today at school we had a weird math thing/giant test and to sum the frustration up: 2 people in the class genuinly started crying. But you had to work in groups of 2 and if you talked to anyone outside that group you got a 1. And there was this girl that sat behind me that was also really frustrated and done with everything. She was also one of the people that eventually bursted into tears. But she kept saying things like "ugh this is making me autistic"

And this is not supposed to stick with me, but it did. Because even though I don't have "bad/severe" autism, I am what she sees as her lowest point. But almost no one I ever meet in real life even says anything about such things and about people using autism as an insult

[foursprout-blog]

I Am Slowly Learning That I Am Doing Better Than Before

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/i-am-slowly-learning-that-i-am-doing-better-than-before/

I Am Slowly Learning That I Am Doing Better Than Before

Unsplash / Wesley Quinn

I am still struggling, but not as much as before.

I still fake laughs when I am out in public, but every once in a while some of those smiles are actually real. Some of those laughs aren’t forced. Sometimes, I experience brief bursts of happiness. The numbness hasn’t disappeared completely, but it leaves for a few minutes at a time, and that is better than nothing.

I still criticize myself from time to time, but I am slowly turning that little voice inside my head into a kind one. One that soothes me. One that compliments me. One that is a friend instead of an enemy.

I still have days when I don’t feel like socializing, when leaving the house feels like an impossible task, but I also have days when I am brave enough to step out of my comfort zone. I am surprising myself with how strong I can be, with how much I can accomplish if I try.

I still overthink. I still worry about the past and the future, but now I am trying my hardest to enjoy the moment. I am doing my best to live in the now instead of living in a constant state of fear. 

I still want to spend the entire week in bed, but I am getting better at forcing myself out from beneath the sheets to start my day. I am always exhausted, but I spend less time sleeping than I used to, because I know that time is precious.

I still hate certain aspects of my life, but I am trying my hardest to create a better future for myself. I refuse to settle for the existence I have now. I am striving to reach something bigger, something better. I believe there are great things in store for me, but only if I put in the effort to achieve them.

I still have a hard time loving myself, but I don’t avoid the mirror anymore. I don’t treat myself like I am worthless anymore. I am slowly learning to accept who I am without wishing to be different.

I still feel like something is missing from my world, but I am actively trying to fill the hole in my life. I am going out more. I am saying yes more. I am trying new things. I am following my dreams. I am putting myself out there for the first time in my life.

I still spend some time crying inside of bathrooms, but now I am able to dry the tears after a breakdown. I am able to pull myself back up after I have fallen. I am able to snap myself back to reality instead of staying trapped in my misery.

I still have doubts about my future, but I also have hope. I genuinly believe I am going to be okay eventually. I am going to make happiness happen. I am not going to rest until I feel fulfilled. 

I am still not okay, but I am doing the best that I can with what I have. I am working my ass off. I am never going to give up on myself. 

[foursprouthappiness-blog]

I Am Slowly Learning That I Am Doing Better Than Before

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/i-am-slowly-learning-that-i-am-doing-better-than-before/

I Am Slowly Learning That I Am Doing Better Than Before

Unsplash / Wesley Quinn

I am still struggling, but not as much as before.

I still fake laughs when I am out in public, but every once in a while some of those smiles are actually real. Some of those laughs aren’t forced. Sometimes, I experience brief bursts of happiness. The numbness hasn’t disappeared completely, but it leaves for a few minutes at a time, and that is better than nothing.

I still criticize myself from time to time, but I am slowly turning that little voice inside my head into a kind one. One that soothes me. One that compliments me. One that is a friend instead of an enemy.

I still have days when I don’t feel like socializing, when leaving the house feels like an impossible task, but I also have days when I am brave enough to step out of my comfort zone. I am surprising myself with how strong I can be, with how much I can accomplish if I try.

I still overthink. I still worry about the past and the future, but now I am trying my hardest to enjoy the moment. I am doing my best to live in the now instead of living in a constant state of fear. 

I still want to spend the entire week in bed, but I am getting better at forcing myself out from beneath the sheets to start my day. I am always exhausted, but I spend less time sleeping than I used to, because I know that time is precious.

I still hate certain aspects of my life, but I am trying my hardest to create a better future for myself. I refuse to settle for the existence I have now. I am striving to reach something bigger, something better. I believe there are great things in store for me, but only if I put in the effort to achieve them.

I still have a hard time loving myself, but I don’t avoid the mirror anymore. I don’t treat myself like I am worthless anymore. I am slowly learning to accept who I am without wishing to be different.

I still feel like something is missing from my world, but I am actively trying to fill the hole in my life. I am going out more. I am saying yes more. I am trying new things. I am following my dreams. I am putting myself out there for the first time in my life.

I still spend some time crying inside of bathrooms, but now I am able to dry the tears after a breakdown. I am able to pull myself back up after I have fallen. I am able to snap myself back to reality instead of staying trapped in my misery.

I still have doubts about my future, but I also have hope. I genuinly believe I am going to be okay eventually. I am going to make happiness happen. I am not going to rest until I feel fulfilled. 

I am still not okay, but I am doing the best that I can with what I have. I am working my ass off. I am never going to give up on myself.