#genuinely what did he even do lol it’s not like he’s particularly offensive or annoying or anything

[fritzes]

“we are not gonna put you in a situation where you are embarrassed. you’re not gonna lose 1 and 1 to taylor fritz” - my new enemy jon wertheim

of course, taylor catching strays is nothing new:

[antianakin]

I saw a clip from TCW that supports your point about Anakin's training being poisonous to Ahsoka. It's the arc where she gets kidnapped by Trandoshans and meets the younglings also being held there; when she proposes they fight, she says, "My Master would never forgive me for running and hiding in a situation like this."

Like it's not, "My Master TAUGHT ME a different approach to situations like this." Or "I've learned how to fight enemies like this." Or even "My Master would WANT ME to fight."

Furthermore her tone wasn't lighthearted and jokey. So she genuinely seems to think that Anakin would (assuming she's at least being a little wry or hyperbolic) be genuinely annoyed with her for focusing on survival rather than taking the offensive. In general I tend to blame Ahsoka more than Anakin for her attitude (mainly because the narrative depicts her as being right) but I've got to say, that line does seem to indicate that he taught her a lot of weird things lol

Yeah, I've definitely noticed this moment and thought about it a little. In the context of the story and the narrative they present within the Padawan Lost arc, I feel like it's meant to be interpreted more as "My master wouldn't want me to give up hope of finding a way to escape because if you decide something can't be done then it's a self-fulfilling prophecy" rather than "My master would genuinely never forgive me if I did what was necessary for survival." That being said, the actual wording of the line is fascinating because it sends a really weird message when taken a little more literally.

While it's entirely possible Anakin has never once said anything like this to Ahsoka, it still tells us that THIS IS HOW AHSOKA SEES HIM. This is what she's picked up from Anakin's behavior, his teaching methods, etc. And this falls in line with the TOTJ episode where he takes her to do secret training that involves her getting shot at until she falls unconscious for an hour over and over and over again without rest or even medical attention in the name of teaching her how to "protect herself when he's not there." It's ruthless, it's merciless, and it's being excused away with this sort-of toxic attachment for her that Ahsoka, at her young and impressionable age, isn't quite picking up on which leads to her just absorbing that Anakin wouldn't approve of her doing what was necessary to survive if it meant running and hiding. She HAS to stand and fight or she's not good enough. It's better to die fighting than it is to live to fight another day, that's the message Ahsoka seems to be absorbing from Anakin, even if he doesn't always mean to teach it.

We even have instances where Anakin is trying to teach her the exact opposite of this earlier on. In the Ryloth arc, Ahsoka refuses to fall back when ordered and it has terrible consequences, something she has to learn from. In the Holocron Heist arc, Ahsoka refuses to pull back from an attack when ordered because she thinks she has an advantage that she doesn't realize is about to disappear and she gets assigned archive duty for her refusal to listen, something Anakin is upset about. So there's at LEAST two instances where Anakin explicitly wants Ahsoka to "run and hide" rather than stand and fight because it's the better strategy in the moment. It's also ANAKIN who is more insistent about leaving Ahsoka behind for the Citadel mission in order to protect her, too, so it's not like Anakin particularly WANTS Ahsoka to just go running headlong into danger all the time. Which means you could make the argument that Ahsoka is just projecting her own unwillingness to "run and hide" onto Anakin because it sounds better if she says it's her master who wouldn't want her to do this than it does to admit that SHE'S the one who thinks it's beneath her to run and hide.

There's also the comparison to the Geonosis arc where Ahsoka and Barriss get caught in the factory explosion and Ahsoka uses some mechanical tricks she picked up from Anakin to keep sending a signal, just trusting that Anakin will hear it and use it to come find her. Within that same episode, there's obviously the confrontations between Anakin and Luminara where we see Anakin getting BLINDINGLY upset with Luminara for even the implication of "leaving the padawans behind" (despite the fact that that's not what she's actually advocating). Ahsoka refuses to give up on the hope of being found and that faith is rewarded, but it's contrasted against Anakin's almost toxic refusal to even consider the idea that they MIGHT not find the padawans and he has to be ready for that possibility. The Padawan Lost arc has him facing that same possibility and this time, there's genuinely nothing he can do. He has no leads to follow, no signal Ahsoka can send that will reach him, and ultimately Plo has to come in to say that Anakin just needs to have faith that if he's taught Ahsoka well enough, she'll figure herself out and come home to them, and that's exactly what ends up happening.

So if you wanted to be really kind about this, you could say that Ahsoka is projecting some of her own stubbornness onto Anakin and that Anakin is learning his own lessons about trusting in Ahsoka's own abilities over the course of this season, culminating in the Padawan Lost arc. It's not meant to be that Ahsoka thinks Anakin will genuinely be upset with her for running and hiding but that Ahsoka doesn't actually LIKE running and hiding and her partnership with Anakin has allowed her the confidence to refuse to back down until she has absolutely no other choice.

I imagine that this, like in the TOTJ episode, is intended to be a good thing overall. Anakin might be pushing Ahsoka, but he is pushing her to be the kind of person who can survive things nobody else could. The other kids there are all Jedi trained, too, and they don't seem that much younger than Ahsoka herself, which indicates that Ahsoka has a leg up on them SPECIFICALLY due to her training with Anakin and that Jedi training alone isn't good enough. It's Ahsoka's connection to Anakin that makes her great. Which, you know, take that how you will, obviously. It's definitely something we know Filoni pulls on a LOT and is very important in how he chooses to write her.

If you wanted to be a little LESS kind in your interpretation, I do think it would be fair to say that Anakin's own temperament has perhaps... exacerbated the issue, that there COULD be things Anakin has done in his teaching that have led Ahsoka to believe he'd genuinely be disappointed in her if she didn't live up to his standards (again, TOTJ really highlights this aspect of their relationship), and that combined with her own stubbornness is causing her to say what she says in the Padawan Lost arc. If Anakin were able to send her a message, he MIGHT have actually told her to run and hide until he could find her, it seems pretty likely that that's what he'd do, but Ahsoka's interpretation of his behavior seems to be slightly different. So Ahsoka is someone who's very stubborn already before she meets Anakin, yes, but Anakin's way of teaching her makes her even WORSE about this rather than better because even though he does sometimes order her to retreat in battles, he's done other things that indicate to Ahsoka that he wouldn't accept this from her in other situations. That maybe the only reason he was upset in these other instances was because she didn't FOLLOW HIS ORDERS and in the absence of those orders, he expects her to fight as long and hard as she can instead of retreating.

You can of course continue to compare this to his line to her in the film where he says she'd never have made it as Obi-Wan's padawan but she MIGHT make it as his, indicating that she will always have to work for his respect and to earn her apprenticeship with him. I imagine that places some pressure on her as his student, she always has to be THE BEST, better than everyone else, or he might decide she's not worth it after all and decide to just drop her. It might not even be something she actively thinks or worries about, but just something that subconsciously sits with her all the time and invades their dynamic like a disease.

So yeah, I guess ultimately I think that this unwillingness to "run and hide" is a part of Ahsoka's personality from the beginning, I think that it would be very fair to assume that she HAS picked up on Anakin's disrespect for people who "give up" and that this has exacerbated her own stubbornness into something that could be considered arrogant and even potentially dangerous. If we take TOTJ into account, then it's something Anakin has pretty literally drilled into her rather than just something Ahsoka has picked up through his behavior and interactions with others.

And we can take this a step further and look at her behavior in the Ahsoka show and the way this dynamic is almost step for step repeated in Ahsoka's relationship with Sabine. Sabine has clearly picked up on Ahsoka being disappointed in her, that Ahsoka's willingness to train her can and will be taken away if Sabine doesn't act correctly, but that Ahsoka herself DOESN'T FOLLOW HER OWN ADVICE. So this leaves Sabine in a position where she clearly believes she has to work to earn Ahsoka's respect and training but she also knows Ahsoka doesn't even believe half of the things she tries to teach Sabine to do, so why bother following what Ahsoka says. This gives us a Sabine who is a complete and utter brat, whose worst tendencies towards stubbornness and selfishness are exacerbated instead of curbed, and who constantly feels like someone she should be able to completely rely on is always waiting for her to fail. Ahsoka herself doesn't like giving up and will always push a situation further than it needs to go in search of victory, but when Sabine does the same, Ahsoka condemns her for it. It's an immensely unhealthy dynamic and we know EXACTLY where she learned it from.

And while she claims she's going to "support" Sabine later on, she also says she's following in Anakin's own image here, that she's doing what Anakin did for her, which... I know what the show WANTS us to believe, but Anakin did NOT actually support her all the time and Ahsoka probably would've benefited from a master who was more willing to force her to face her own flaws and work on them rather than a master who just brushed aside her flaws so long as they didn't get in his way. Sabine isn't going to flourish under Anakin's type of "support" any more than Ahsoka did and this dynamic would just continue to be unhealthy because Ahsoka SHOULDN'T support Sabine in literally everything she ever does. Sabine SHOULD be told when she's made mistakes and be forced to acknowledge them and work to overcome them, otherwise she's just going to keep acting like a selfish asshole. Anakin passed down more of Palpatine's teachings to Ahsoka than he did the Jedi's, and we see that continuing with Ahsoka and Sabine. This isn't the "disaster lineage" as people like to call it, it's the insidious lineage. It's Sith training making its way insidiously into people who claim to be Jedi, infecting their every choice towards selfishness instead of compassion.

[kerikaaria]

Smile

(Hoseok x gn!Reader) Oneshot, Coffee shop!au

Genre: (PG13) Hurt/comfort, fluff, angst

WC: 4.6k

Warnings: None, unless you count a stereotypical Kdrama trope or two offensive haha

Summary: At 28 years old, you suddenly felt like your life was resetting. One of the few things that brought you comfort was keeping the routine of stopping by the local coffee shop, and the barista behind the counter had definitely noticed the recent change in you. All he wanted was to see you smile again.

Breath of Sunshine is a sequel to this fic. 

A/N – This fic is my submission for the January prompt with @thebtswritersclub for Beginnings/New Beginnings.

I'm a horrendous human being and absolutely forgot to tag @moccahobi for beta reading this fic for me! Thank you for your suggestions Lillia! And please excuse me being big dumb lol. I love yoouuu!

Pushing the door open, the familiar jingle of the bell sounded and warmth started to envelope your chilled body.

"Good afternoon, Y/n," the barista said as he made another customer's drink, pausing for a moment to throw a smile in your direction.

"Good afternoon, Hoseok," you replied, attempting to smile in return but could feel how stiff and forced it was.

He quickly finished the drink he had been working on, properly saying goodbye to the customer as he always did. He grabbed a new cup as he asked, “Are you having the usual?”

“Yes, please,” you said.

Hoseok gave you another smile before getting your drink started while you approached the register. You got your payment out, ready to go as he approached the counter. After swiping your card, you watched as he resumed making your drink. Hoseok had been working here for at least as long as you had been a regular customer and it was obvious he knew what he was doing.

"The weather isn't that bad today," Hoseok made small talk while he finished putting your drink together.

"Yeah, it's not quite as cold as the rest of the week had been,” you responded. If this were a month ago, you would have continued back and forth, encouraging conversation between the two of you. You could only just muster up enough energy to respond right now, much less continue a conversation.

Especially not today.

Preferring to stare at the counter rather than make eye contact, you didn’t notice the worried glance Hoseok threw your way. He had definitely recognized the change in your demeanor over the past weeks. He really missed your smile—the real one and not the forced one that sat on your face nowadays.

When he finished your drink and handed it to you, you attempted a smile once more as you thanked him before sitting at one of the tables in the café to relax.

It was a Saturday and you had a standard Monday to Friday job so you didn’t have anything to do today. But this was one of your favorite places to go, and after all the changes that happened the past month you needed a familiar routine to help keep you feeling sane.

One of the few comforts that came with moving back to your childhood home was that this coffee shop was within walking distance again. When you had moved away over a year ago, you would have to leave for work sooner to catch an earlier bus, getting off only to stop here before getting back on to finish going to work. You adored this quaint little shop and the bright faces behind the counter and didn’t want to sacrifice your patronage just because you had moved.

So needless to say, your weekend visits had stopped at that point since there was no need to catch the bus then. But now that you were back here, you had resumed your Saturday morning walks which led you here. Even though it was winter, you found the crisp air refreshing and found it easy to let your troubles escape your mind during the 20 minute venture.

You sat by a window, mindlessly watching the cars drive down the street. You had made a fair amount of progress this month, but today was particularly difficult. It was January 23, what would have been your 6 year anniversary. That wasn’t a thing anymore, of course.

At 28 years old, you suddenly felt like your life was resetting. Things that you wanted in life that had seemed so close to coming into fruition merely a month ago suddenly felt so far away, you weren’t sure they were possible anymore.

As you let your mind wander, you were unsure how much time had passed. Your drink sat empty in front of you for a while, but you didn’t feel ready to leave just yet. When you got back home you’d be reminded of how different things were now, and that wasn’t something you were looking forward to today.

Suddenly, your attention was drawn to a new cup being placed on your table. You turned to see Hoseok standing next to the table, smiling brightly as ever.

“It’s a good day for a drink like this, don’t you think?” he asked.

“I didn’t order this,” was the only thing that could escape your mouth. He was definitely known for throwing in a free drink here and there, but you most certainly didn’t want to take advantage of it.

“It’s my treat,” he insisted, “I’m actually done with my shift. Do you mind if I sit here with you?”

You glanced back at the bar, and sure enough Namjoon was now manning the station while the owner, Seokjin, took orders from the customers in line.

Looking back to Hoseok who had been waiting patiently for your response, you decide to give a nod.

He sat across from you, taking a sip from his own drink that he had no doubt made himself. A silence hung between you but it wasn't uncomfortable. Hoseok never made you feel uncomfortable. When you reached for the new cup and realized what drink he had made you, it only reminded you of how kind he was. 

It wasn't your usual, but was something you had most definitely ordered here before. You could still remember the first day you had ordered this particular drink.

Hoseok looked at you, amused. "Not getting the usual today, then?"

"No, not today," you confirmed. "I really need this today."

"Oh?" he asked as he rang it into the register. "Is it some kind of special occasion thing? I know some people do that."

"Not exactly," you said, handing him your card. "It's more of a comfort drink."

Hoseok hesitated to swipe your card through the reader. "Oh. Not having a great day?" A frown sat on his face.

"You could say that," you sighed.

He looked to be in thought for a moment before he handed your card back to you and moved away to start on your drink.

Your brows furrowed. "You didn't swipe my card, did you?"

"It's on me today."

"You don't have to do that," you said, staying parked at the register.

Hoseok hadn't said anything else while he whipped up the drink. When he brought it over to you, you tried making him take your card one more time, but he just shook his head.

"I don't like seeing my customers upset," he said. "It's not much, but I want to do anything I can to try to make your day at least a little brighter. Please, I insist."

The smile on his face and earnest look in his eyes made you pause, before ultimately accepting his kind offer.

His smile grew even bigger when he watched you put your card away and take the drink he offered you. It was a size larger than what you had ordered.

"Thank you, Hoseok," you said. You were still unsure about taking a drink for free, but definitely were in no way going to leave without showing him some gratitude.

Holding the cup of hot chocolate between your hands made you feel warm in more ways than one. He was telling you that he noticed you weren't as happy as usual and he even remembered the significance of the drink to you.

Knowing that someone cared, even a little, was something you really needed these days and, though a little silly, it almost made you want to cry. You held it back though, offering a smile to the man sitting across from you. It was small, but still genuine.

You waited for the inevitable question of what was wrong. The sweet gesture of the hot chocolate made you feel like you may not actually mind if he asked, despite having been tired of explaining what happened 50 times over already. Just as long as he wouldn't start asking you the loaded, 'How are you?' which translated to 'How are you after him?'

He didn't ask. Instead he said, "You know, I was really relieved when I saw it was you who came in earlier."

You looked at him curiously. "Why is that?"

"That customer that was here when you walked in? He's a real charmer." He was clearly being sarcastic. "The guy wants like 10 very specific customizations to his latte, and was backseat driving the whole time I made his drink. Despite the fact that he's a regular and I know his order to the T by this point. But nope, he can never let me just handle making the drink in peace. It's so annoying."

"Oh gosh, that does sound super annoying," you replied. A pretty generic reply sure, but you already felt more engaged in this conversation than you had in most others recently.

"But then customers like you come in and you're always so kind and friendly," Hoseok continued. "Even if the day hadn't been that great, it always feels a little better when you come in. You're definitely one of our favorite regulars. It's also nice now that I've noticed you're coming in on the weekends again."

"Oh yeah, I moved back into my last house," you explained. "So I can just walk here again."

"And out of all the things you could be doing on the weekend, you choose to hang out here in this tiny little place."

You took the first sip of your hot chocolate while Hoseok spoke. It may have been basically just hot milk and chocolate, but it was really delicious. You closed your eyes for a moment to savor the flavor before answering him. “I really like it here. It’s nice and cozy, the drinks are amazing and not super expensive, and you guys are all really nice.”

“It’s hard not to be when we have wonderful customers like you,” Hoseok said.

The compliment made you feel flustered and on top of feeling relaxed and warm from the drink, you found a genuine smile that reached your eyes spread across your face.

You felt that out of all the good qualities of this coffee shop, Hoseok was definitely the most comforting thing here.

After that day, you began to have longer conversations with the barista. It wasn’t that you didn’t chat before, but him taking the time to sit and talk with you seemed to have opened up a door to a deeper friendship between you. While coming to the coffee shop had always been one of your favorite parts of the day, it started to become something you looked forward to even more than before.

You even found yourself leaving your house a bit earlier than before just to make sure you had some time to sit and chat with him for an extra little bit before needing to make your way to work. Your encounters were limited to the shop, not having met outside of the café or exchanged phone numbers yet. Despite that, you felt like your interactions were some of the most genuine you had lately.

As for Hoseok, he could see the gradual change in you. While he had no idea what had suddenly made you so upset back in December, he knew it had to be pretty substantial with how long you’ve been affected. He never wanted to ask though. He figured if you wanted to talk to him about it you would, and he would of course listen.

That being said, ever since he decided to sit down and chat with you, he felt like you’ve slowly started becoming more like yourself—more like the Y/n he remembered. He couldn’t say for sure, but he dared to hope that maybe it had something to do with him.

So the weeks went by, most days highlighted by Hoseok’s smiling face as you started going to the cafe more. On Saturdays it basically became a routine for you to arrive shortly before he’d be done with his shift, and then he’d once again sit and chat with you when it was over.

Saturdays quickly became your favorite day of the week.

You were trying to figure out how to nonchalantly ask Hoseok if you could exchange phone numbers, or meet up outside of the café, or something. And really, it shouldn’t have been hard. Easy to slip in a ‘Hey, can I text you?' or ‘Let’s hang out sometime,’ during a chat and it would have been natural. But you felt oddly nervous about asking.

What if he didn’t want that? What if he just wanted your little budding friendship to stay as a thing just at the café? What if you were reading too far into it and he was just a nice barista chatting with his customer to make them happy? Knowing you, you very well could have been reading into it too much. Even though you really, really hoped you weren’t.

You walked down the sidewalk heading home from the bus stop after work when your phone rang.

You didn’t bat an eye when it was his name that came up on the caller ID. It wasn’t frequent but also not entirely unusual for him to contact you. His calls often had something to do with tying up loose ends, or he was just wanting to chat. Afterall, you both had agreed to remain friends after the breakup. But it was still a bit awkward, both of you needing a bit more time to come to terms with all the changes that were occurring in the aftermath and, at least for you, figuring out how to move on still.

You picked up easily, swiping the green button across the screen and putting it back in your pocket, earbuds in your ears to listen and talk through. The call was absolutely standard, him needing someone to talk to in his boredom. Usually it wouldn’t bother you, but he was having one of his moments where he didn’t realize he talked about something he really probably shouldn’t have.

He started mentioning how he’d finally gotten used to you not being around. That it was normal now.

You knew why he was telling you. The changes were hard on him as well, to the point where he couldn’t sleep in the house after you moved out and he realized just how lonely it felt with no one there. So he was telling you because he wanted you to know that he was doing better.

But at the same time, when you were still in the process of getting used to not having him around, it hurt to hear. You had been having far more good—or at least better—days than bad ones lately, but you could feel your heart rip a bit as he talked. You tried not to let him hear it in your voice when the tears started. As soon as you could, you ended the conversation, making up some excuse that you couldn’t really recall but it seemed to work well enough for him and he ended the call.

You couldn’t stop the tears from continuously falling, and you felt so stupid for crying in public like that. The street was a more residential one and not very busy so there were few people around, but you felt as though anyone nearby would instantly have their eyes on you and be judging you.

You stopped at a corner to cross the street, looking both ways before starting on your way. Your gaze was glued to the ground, trying to keep your head down as much as you could to try to keep others from seeing how stupid you must have looked.

It all happened so quickly that you had no time to register what was going on. You saw a car approaching out of the corner of your eye, looking up to see it very close and going dangerously fast. And then you felt a tug, someone grabbing your arm and quickly pulling you the rest of the way to the sidewalk, making you stumble in your step.

You felt the wind from the car passing so closely behind you just a second later. The reality of how close you had been to getting flattened suddenly hit you. Still in the grip of this person who had pulled you out of harm’s way, you started shaking from the shock of it.

“Y/n, are you okay?” a very familiar voice asked, just loud enough for you to hear him past the music in your earbuds.

You quickly looked up to see Hoseok standing there, eyes wide as looked over you, seemingly looking for any injuries. When you didn’t respond, he called your name again.

You shakily nodded. “Y-yeah, I’m- I’m okay,” you managed to get out, pulling the devices from your ears to hear better.

“That jackass,” Hoseok mumbled. “He just came speeding out of nowhere. What the heck did he think he was doing?”

Feeling like it was difficult to keep steady, you let yourself lean into Hoseok for support. He instantly responded by wrapping a strong arm around your shoulders and tucking your head into his chest with his other hand.

“It’s okay, Y/n. You’re okay. You didn’t get hurt, you’re okay,” he calmly said, rocking you just slightly in an attempt to help you calm down.

The two of you stayed like that for a few minutes, until you felt your composure return and straightened up a bit, pulling away from Hoseok’s comfort.

“You feeling alright?” he asked, eyes still filled with concern.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” you said. “Thank you for saving me, Hoseok.”

“It’s lucky that I even noticed you across the street earlier,” he said. “I don’t want you to think you did something wrong because you really didn’t, but you should really try to pay more attention when you’re crossing the street.”

“Yeah, I really wasn’t paying attention,” you admitted. “I just- I mean I looked both ways first but I’m just not feeling the best and-”

“It’s okay,” Hoseok said. “You don’t need to explain to me. I can see something is upsetting you. I’m just glad that I was here.”

You nodded, a short silence sitting between you.

“Where are you headed?” Hoseok was the next to speak.

“I’m just going home,” you said.

“Let me walk you?” he asked.

“You don’t have somewhere to be?”

“I was just heading home too. I stayed late at the café because Joon was on a date. So no, I have nowhere to be. Can I walk you home? You still seem a bit shocked.”

You contemplated his offer, still feeling a bit shaken up from what just happened. Plus, after the phone call you just had, you could really use some company. “Okay, yeah I’d appreciate that. Thank you.”

He stepped to the side, waiting for you to start walking in the right direction before falling in step next to you.

“I was just on the phone with my ex,” you blurted out.

Hoseok’s gaze snapped to you, but you continued looking forward. He remained silent, knowing you had more to say.

“You know the boyfriend I’d mention before?” you asked, sure that he’d remember since you talked about him quite a bit. He was such a huge part of your life. “He broke up with me back in December. On the 21st.”

Hoseok was silent for a moment before he softly asked, “You guys were together for quite a while weren’t you?”

You nodded. “January 23rd would have been 6 years.”

“That’s why you moved back here?” he asked. “You two moved in together about a year ago right?”

“Yeah, a year and three months at the time that we broke up. I’m just lucky that I still had this place to come back to,” you said.

“Did he say something to hurt you?” Hoseok asked. “On the phone just now, I mean.”

You shook your head. “Not intentionally. He just doesn’t always realize when something is inappropriate or hurtful to say.” You chuckle. “He was always kind of bad at knowing social queues. He didn’t realize that telling me how it’s gotten easy for him without me around would be hurtful for me to hear.”

Hoseok didn’t know what to say, so he waited to see if you had anything else you wanted to tell him.

“It’s really hard. I had really thought he was it, you know?” you said, a sad smile sitting on your face. “But now that we’re not together, even though it’s been hard and I’m still figuring out how to be my own person by myself again, I’m realizing that maybe this really was for the better. He told me he just felt like I was his really good friend more than anything else now, and he clearly hadn’t wanted to work on things between us so there was no way we could last at that point. I am not feeling hopeful about being able to find someone else quite yet, but if I ever do I hope that they’re someone who can understand me better.

“I was by no means unhappy with him, except the issues we started to have last year that I felt like we could work through at the time. But we had different love languages. I wanted things from him that I more or less had to flat out tell him and he’d try but even then he wasn’t always putting his heart into it because it wasn’t really natural for him. I understood it, it wasn’t a huge thing. Just things like that, that were never a huge deal at all, but I realize that I really hope I can find in someone else, you know?”

Hoseok nodded along, understanding what you meant. He had been with more than one partner who was uncomfortable with how he expressed his feelings as well. While they had been much less understanding and accepting than you seemed to have been with your ex, or that he even had done for you.

“It’s just… It’s so many changes all at once,” you said. “I usually question everything. I expect people to not stick around, and wonder if people really want to be around me. But with him, I never really thought that. When I’d think of our potential future, I always thought ‘when,’ not ‘if.’ But now it’s become ‘never.’ At least with him. And it’s still hard to wrap my head around. But I have been doing a lot better. I remember you saying once before that you don’t like your customers to be unhappy and if you can make them feel at least a little better, you want to try. And honestly, you have been a huge help to me lately.”

Hoseok smiled to himself. “I’m happy to help you, Y/n. I know that I can’t help a whole lot, I understand this is all really hard for you, but I do want to be there for you however I can. I promise that the interactions we have, it’s not just me being a barista who is trying to make his customers happy. I did say that yeah, but it genuinely comes from my heart. When you stopped smiling at the end of the year, I immediately noticed. Ever since then, I remember just thinking a lot that I missed seeing your smile and wanted to try to make you smile again.”

“Well, mission accomplished then,” you chuckled. You were silent for a moment while you turned onto your street. “You know, that first day that you sat with me in the café? That was January 23rd. I was feeling worse that day than the others but you really did help me feel better. I completely forgot about what that day had meant while talking to you. And I know what the hot chocolate meant. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated that. Thank you.”

“You make it sound like I’m not going to keep trying to help,” Hoseok said. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily, you know.”

“I wouldn’t want to.” You turned to him, a genuine smile on your face.

He smiled in return. “That’s the Y/n that I’ve wanted to see.”

When you were in front of your house, you stopped, letting Hoseok know you arrived.

“Oh, you live here?” he asked, a little surprised. “Really? This is literally just right down the street from my house.”

“Seriously?” you asked. “Since when?”

“For years. I’ve lived there since before I got the job at the café.”

“How come I never realized you lived that close?”

Hoseok laughed. “I have no idea. But hey, at least we know now, right?”

“Right,” you said. “Well, I don’t want to keep you, even if you do live close by.”

“Can I have your number before I go?” Hoseok asked. When you looked at him with widened eyes, he said, “Only if you want to! I just, I feel like the two of us have gotten pretty close and I’ve been meaning to ask but I just wasn’t sure how to bring it up. I want to be there anytime you need me. If you ever need someone to talk to, I want you to be able to contact me anytime.”

Hoseok’s words warmed you, leaving you speechless for just a moment before you smiled once more. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to ask you the same thing. Yeah, I’d like to give you my phone number.”

Hoseok quickly fumbled to fish his phone from his pocket, unlocking it and handing it to you to enter your number.

“And maybe if you have some time, we could hang out one day?” you asked. “Like, outside of the café. As much as I like it there, I think it’d be nice to be able to chat without you having to worry about attending to customers. Or your nosy coworkers listening into our conversations.”

Hoseok laughed, taking a moment to calm down while you handed his phone back to him. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d really like that.”

You both stood there for a moment, unsure of how to say goodbye. Just as you were turning around to enter your door, Hoseok spoke up once more. “Y/n?”

When you turned back around, you were greeted with a really warm smile.

“I know that it’s hard right now and it’s something that you have to work through on your own,” Hoseok continued. “But try not to think of it as an end. It’s a beginning, a new start. And maybe, it won’t be as hard as you think to find someone who will give you what you’re looking for. I, for one, know someone who would be more than willing to do that for you if you ever let him.”

You felt your heart speed up and cheeks redden at the insinuation.

“But don’t feel pressured,” he continued. “Take your time. Do what you need to heal and when you’re ready, I guarantee he’ll still be here for you. He’s ready to start a new story with you whenever you are, if you want.”

With one last smile, Hoseok waved goodbye and walked up the street. It took you a moment before you gathered yourself and unlocked your door.

He hadn’t said it directly, but you understood what he meant. You couldn’t say that you were ready for anything with someone new right now, but if how you felt around him lately was any indication, you were sure that as long as what he said was true, that he was willing to wait until you were ready, you most certainly would eventually be ready to have that new start with him.

And maybe, just maybe, you put a heart next to his name in your contact list. No one needed to know that though.

Breath of Sunshine is a sequel to this fic.

A/N – This fic is HIGHLY self-indulgent. Last month, on December 21st, my long-time boyfriend had broken up with me. A lot of what Y/n feels in this fic, and what they described about their past relationship are very similar to my own experiences. I’m also uploading this on January 23, 2021, which is rather poetic because, just as in the fic, today would have been my 6th year anniversary with my ex. So yes, this is super self-indulgent and somewhat of a coping mechanism for myself. But I hope that it can be enjoyed by others as well <3.

Also, please don’t feel worried for me or anything. I really do appreciate anyone who offers me support, but I promise that I am doing alright and holding up well. Although I do very much wish it were possible for me to find my own Hobi lol (not right away of course).

Also, if you’d like to donate to my Ko-fi, feel free! Absolutely no pressure though :)

[duhragonball]

Logan Paul

I did some research for that Coffe Shop AU fic I did last month, because I got it in my head to set it in Japan, and I wanted to make sure I got Japan right, or at least right enough that it wouldn’t be super-obviously wrong.    The last time I tried to write anything set in Japan was when I tried to write Tenchi Muyo! fics, and I quickly realized I had no idea what I was doing, so I noped all the characters into outer space, where I could make stuff up.    

But that was 19 years ago, and now we have YouTube, with tons of videos about travel and tourism and local custom.    I often regard YouTube with contempt, but I have to be honest, it’s a bigger part of my life than I want to admit.   YouTube taught me how to change the headlights on my old Pontiac G6; it lets me watch all the good parts of Star Wars on-demand, and it taught me not to eat while walking around town in Japan.  

Anyway, now I get recommended all these videos about Japan, and they’re kind of fun to watch.   I checked out one about capsule hotels, because I could never tell if those were are really good or really bad idea.   I’m at least satisfied now that I could fit in one of those things if I needed to use one.   Then I came across this video about Logan Paul.   

In case you’re not familiar with him, Logan Paul is the jackass vlogger who decided to do his show in Japan for a little while, and while he was there he found a dead body in a forest and filmed it.   This drew international outrage, and from what I understand his popularity nosedived afterward.    I didn’t pay much attention to his story at the time, because there’s a million jackass vloggers on YouTube, and it struck me that the only thing special about him was that he had the budget to fly to Japan, and the celebrity to actually get in trouble for doing something offensive.    

Then I watched this video about him on Totally Not Mark’s channel.   It’s no longer there for some reason, but back in September he made this “mini-documentary” about Logan Paul’s attempt to stage some sort of comeback.   As I recall, the basic idea is that Logan’s really, really sorry for offending everyone, but he wants to be a famous YouTube celebrity again, so he’s going to do.... something... and return to his former prominence.   And he’s got a film crew making a documentary out of this quest, so that if he ever succeeds, he can put out this feel-good redemption story.  

The problem is that no one knows what the hell he’s supposed to do to get people to like him again.  I mean, I’m sure he still has fans today, but not as many as he did before, and he seems to want to just hit a reset button and go back to the way things were pre-Japan.   According to Totally Not Mark’s now-deleted video, all he seemed to be coming up with were various sports events for charity.    He had a couple of boxing matches against fellow YouTuber KSI, although I don’t know that either of those fights were for charity.    Judging from his Wikipedia article, he doesn’t seem to be doing anything particularly different from before.    Mark seemed to genuinely think he might have a shot at redemption, even if the path forward isn’t obvious.   

I found the whole idea kind of stupid.   Redemption isn’t about celebrities becoming celebrities again.   If Logan Paul learned a lesson from the consequences of his actions, if he reflects on his bad behavior and takes steps to be a better person, then great, but that doesn’t mean he gets a free pass from the public.    He had an act, and people bought into it for a while, and then he took it too far and it backfired on him.   There’s some things in life you can’t undo.   Watching Mark’s mini-documentary suggested to me that Paul still hasn’t figured this out, probably because he never understood how he got so famous in the first place.    It just sort of fell into his lap before, so he doesn’t understand how he lost it, or how it’s not something he can just recreate at will.  

Anyway, that brings me back to the video above, by “That Japanese Man Yuta”.   In it, he discusses all the other videos Paul made during his visit to Japan.    The video in the forest was taken down, and Paul made a video apologizing for that one, but all these other videos paint a bigger picture of a guy who basically made it his business to wander around in a foreign country and make an ass out of himself.  He horsed around in religious sites, places of business, in the middle of traffic, and pretty much anywhere else he pleased.   As far as I can tell, the joke was one of two things.   Either it was “Hey, I’m pestering these people and they just sort of stand around and let me!” or “Hey, I’m doing the same nonsense I usually do, only this time it’s in Japan!”   

Yuta takes the time to explain exactly why Paul’s behavior is so disrespectful, but it really isn’t even an issue of Japanese culture specifically.    I wouldn’t want him doing that crap in any country, including the U.S.   Seriously, imagine if he went into a church and just started throwing coins around.     Imagine if he went to a big city and ran around in a costume in the middle of an intersection.  There’s a scene where he waves around a raw fish in public, then he gets bored with it and leaves it on the back of a taxi cab.   That might be funny in a cartoon, or some fictional comedy, but he’s doing all this “XD lol random” crap around real people who aren’t even remotely in on the joke.   Really, the joke seems to be nothing more than “Look these bystanders have no idea what I’m doing and they’re confused and annoyed by my antics.”    Then he praises the Japanese people for being “so nice”, as if they’re being good sports about the whole thing.    Well no, they were just tolerating his behavior, and even if they were being “nice” that doesn’t make his behavior right.   

And that’s why his “redemption arc” is doomed to failure.    What Paul doesn’t seem to get is that the same man-child shenanigans that got him in trouble were also responsible for his rise to stardom.    There’s not some magic formula where he can keep doing his old routine and control people’s reaction to it.    And he can’t reinvent himself because the goofball persona was the only thing that made him a big deal.  No one got into this guy because he’s a good athlete.   They want to watch him dress up in stupid costumes and throw shit at people.     Only that’s no longer tenable, so I’d say his only choice is to accept whatever fanbase he has left as his new level.  

I don’t know that I have a point to any of this.   I just watched the Mark video and thought “Wow, this Logan Paul guy is an entitled shithead.”   And then I watched the Yuta video and thought “Wow, he’s an even bigger shithead than I ever imagined.”   I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that his athletic build, lantern jaw, and curly blonde hair are probably why he’s managed to survive as many scandals as he has.    He looks like the lead in some stoner comedy, and people want to root for him and overlook his flaws.    It’d be kind of interesting to see how he does when he hits forty, but no one will be paying attention by then.   

[murasaki-murasame]

I’m still a little salty about how few units actually got mana spirals this month, but the ones we did get were surprisingly powerful, and the new banner also introduced some surprisingly meta-changing units, like the sentient potato who just wants to be vored.

There’s a lot to talk about so I’m gonna put my rambling under a cut, lol.

OK so first of all. Pipple. This fuckin’ non-limited 4-star water wand built with defense and energy buff skills, who is LITERALLY A TALKING VEGETABLE, is somehow the actual meta-changing start of this banner. After waiting more than an entire goddamn year for our first 5-star water blade, he ends up getting overshadowed by a goddamn potato. And as much as I love Valerio as well, I wouldn’t have it any other way, lmao.

It feels insane to even say it, but with the way his kit works, he honestly feels like a lite version of Gala Cleo. He can probably do just fine on his own in a normal water team, but if you get four Pipples together and give them something like Odd Sparows, they become a group of tanks who can deal surprisingly high damage, while sustaining themselves with healing doublebuff.

When I first saw his skills I thought that he was basically just a slightly better version of Pia, and that he’d basically just be a meme character, but honestly his passive abilities are enough to make him genuinely great. They give him a really unique play-style, especially with how he approaches energy.

I wasn’t sure what to make of his first ability at first since it’s description is super vague, but apparently it makes it so that his basic combos are 120% or so better than those of a normal wand unit. Which is pretty insane on it’s own. But then you have his third ability, which is basically just the one Yaten already has, where he gets buffs along with his energy level, up to a maximum of 40% strength and 15% crit rate when he’s energized. But unlike basically any other unit in the game, who wants to dump their energy stacks into an attack skill or a heal, Pipple doesn’t do that at all. He doesn’t even have any attack skills or heals, so if you ignore weapon skills and dragon skills, he doesn’t have anything to use energy on like that. Instead, he’s meant to basically stay permanently energized so that he doesn’t lose the buff that comes along with it. So once you get him energized, it basically means that he has a 40% strength and 15% crit rate buff for the entire rest of the fight. Plus he can trigger strength doublebuff with his S1 to give him even more strength.

I don’t think the DPS charts do justice to his true potential because of how weird and indirect his kit is, but I think he’s genuinely really strong. He’ll probably work really well with the eventual water element 6-star weapons, since the skills on those are just buffs, so he can use it without losing his energy buffs.

People have already cleared expert and master HBH with 4 Pipple teams, and apparently it’s not very difficult at all, and it’s basically impossible to get killed with that comp. It’s probably slower than other water team comps, but it seems very tanky.

I think he does enough damage on his own to be very good in a team with other units, but I’m not as sure about that. You’d probably end up designing a team around him like you do with Patia, to make full use of strength/healing doublebuffs.

At the very least I think he’s immediately better than Lily. Which probably isn’t a huge achievement, but still, lol. If he ends up being good for regular teams and not just 4-Pipple teams, I think he’ll help let Gala Elly run without Chocolatiers, which could be nice.

I was thinking that, until Thaniel eventually gets a buff, I might use Xainfried for HBH now that he’s gotten his own mana spiral, but once I get a HDT1 water wand, I’m kinda tempted to just play Pipple instead, lmao.

In general i really like units like this who have weird and unique play-styles, and it’s really fun to get some silly and non-human adventurers like this. And since he’s a non-limited 4-star, it’s not a bad thing if he ends up being really meta-defining. Overall his existence is just a net positive for the game and I’m wuv him :) I’ve been kinda bitter lately about how the non-limited water roster as a whole just doesn’t stack up well against limited water units like Gala Elly and MH Sarisse, but Pipple [and Xainfried getting his mana spiral] really helps with that. I feel like Pipple might end up being a popular budget entry point into HBH.

He also might be basically the only unit in the game to make good use of The Petal Queen in order to immediately energize himself, which is fun. I like how these sorts of units who don’t use attacking skills end up benefiting from some weird and niche wyrmprints that you usually don’t use otherwise. It seems like Chocolatiers is better for HBH, but for basically any other fight I think The Petal Queen would probably be better, since the immediate jumpstart on his offensive buffs would probably be better than the immediate defense buff.

And on the topic of the mana spirals we got, I’m still super salty that Norwin didn’t get one, or even any of the other gacha 4-star shadow units, but at least the three mana spirals we got were really great.

Xainfried’s probably getting overlooked by Nefaria and OG Cleo’s mana spirals, and also by Pipple being the hot new water unit everyone loves, but his mana spiral seems like it’s really helped him, and I don’t regret getting him up to around 64MC immediately. I think the DPS sims put him at around the level of Victor and Kirsty, which is a pretty big deal considering how underpowered he was before this. There’s also the fact that we don’t have a frostbite punisher wyrmprint or dragon yet, so his true damage potential probably hasn’t been reached yet. I think he’s probably going to end up being readily accepted into all levels of HBH after this, which would be great. I think he’s always been perfectly viable for HBH, but never ‘meta’. But he seems really strong now. And once we get a frostbite punisher print, he might become a really meta unit since he and Valerio are currently the only frostbite enablers in the game, though I think Mitsuba will probably get frostbite too, and they’ll probably give it to some of the existing water units through their mana spirals. He’ll probably be one of the better frostbite enablers, though.

OG Cleo getting a buff wasn’t exactly a surprise, and it mostly went the way I expected, but her getting buff dispel was a surprise. I think she’s probably the best healer for Kai Yan, but I dunno if buff dispel will be a huge deal in HJP. But since Nefaria also got buff dispel, I think S-Verica is still gonna have a space in the Kai Yan meta. People probably won’t want to run much with Heinwald in that fight, sadly, lol.

Nefaria, on the other hand, was a huge surprise, since it looked like they’d just skipped over her entirely. But she got a mana spiral out of the blue, and apparently it’s made her extremely powerful, maybe second only to Gala Cleo herself, lol. I’m still annoyed at how their approach to fixing her was just ‘slap the poison meta on her existing kit’, but oh well. It did the job with making her extremely good, I guess. I’m happy that she’s finally a good unit, even if I wish they had been a bit more creative about it.

Since they have basically the same kit, and wind also has it’s own poison meta, they’re probably just going to give Hawk the exact same buff [maybe without the buff dispel, though], and hopefully that’d also lead to him being extremely strong. 

The Kai Yan fight also came out, which is it’s own whole thing. I’m currently just grinding standard to get the materials to max out the shadow tree, but from what I can gather, both difficulties are apparently a lot easier than Volk, which is . . . kinda surprising. Maybe it’s just because the shadow roster is stupidly powerful, but it sounds like the requirements to get by in Expert aren’t very high at all. Which probably means that the meta surrounding it will probably be more accepting of a variety of units. But probably with a preference for the 70MC ones.

I was worried that they’d tune the fight too much around Gala Cleo and just make it super punishing and impenetrable, but it feels more like they just didn’t even bother putting effort into designing the fight in a way that shut her down. Which is probably a good thing in the long run, since it makes the fight more accessible. I thought they’d at least make the satellite things absorb some of Gala Cleo’s S1 hits, but apparently not, lol.

I’ll see how expert goes when I get to it, but I wonder if in the long run, it’ll be easier to break into Kai Yan and get a MUB 6-star shadow weapon to take into HJP, instead of doing HZD first to get a shadow HDT weapon. That’d be interesting.

The shadow 6-star weapons also seem to have some interesting effects. I thought that all the 6-star weapons might just get alternating strength and regen buffs, but the shadow ones have attack rate and defense. I guess it’s probably designed with each Agito fight in mind, since healing is important to Volk, while Kai Yan has more unavoidable damage.

I have no idea what they’ll do with the other element types, but one way or another I think, as I said, Pipple’s gonna really benefit from a water Agito weapon, since it won’t have an attack or a heal [hopefully] for him to waste his energy stacks on.

I kinda hope the wind one gives a crit rate buff, since wind needs more of that in general.

Oh yeah, and Valerio also exists, lmao. I still really want him, but I can live without him at this point, especially with how much I’ve come to love Pipple as a character. I do like how unique and interesting Valerio’s kit is, though, and I’m glad that he seems to be pretty strong overall. I wish they’d stop designing blade units that are dependent on high combo counts, though. It’s just not a good weapon type for that, lol.

I don’t think Nimis is particularly amazing at the moment since there’s not many water units who can reliably get high crit chance in the first place, but since Pipple can pretty easily get a more or less permanent 15% crit rate buff, Nimis might be pretty good on him. Basically water needs a unit like Ezelith to really make use of him. And thus far we don’t really have that, but I still feel like Laranoa might end up getting basically the exact same buff that Ezelith got when she gets her mana spiral, in which case she’d probably use Nimis. I wouldn’t be surprised if Mitsuba ends up being based around crits when she comes out, as well.

And on that note, the second part of the current banner should be starting in the next few days, and it’ll almost certainly give us Mitsuba as a 5-star water dagger, and Picaro as . . . some sort of 4-star. Unless they invent an entirely new dragon for the banner, I think they’ll just have Nimis on rate-up for it again, or feature an existing water dragon like Leviathan. In general I’m just not very interested in the idea of the part two banner at the moment. Mitsuba’s a fun character, but I like both Pipple and Valerio more, and in terms of burn res water daggers I think I like Orsem more, too. I also just kinda hate Picaro so I have no real interest in the idea of getting him as a playable adventurer, lol. I’m not even sure what type of unit he’ll be, honestly. I think he’ll be a flame 4-star, going by his character design, but I’ve got no clue about his weapon type. He doesn’t really seem to be holding a weapon in his art like Valerio and Mitsuba are, so it’s hard to guess. I’m also not even sure if the flame roster has any notable gaps that can be filled by a new 4-star. I guess it might be neat if he’s a sleep res healer that has sleep cleanse, but I guess we’ll see.

I still think Pipple’s gonna end up being the real star of his banner as a whole, lol.

Anyway, for the time being, I’m gonna keep grinding Kai Yan, and I’ll probably do a few runs of HMC to get Pipple his HDT water wand. After that I’ll see if that’s enough investment to let me break into eHBH with him. I’ll probably end up having to max augment Odd Sparrows first, but I’ve at least started on that already. I at least have Xainfried as a good alternative option to get into that fight, but I just really really like the idea of taking a sentient potato creature to fight a flame dragon :v

[wildflowerwlw]

someone remind me to put a page break after like the first paragraph it’s 11 pm rn and ima go to sleep remind me in like,,;; a few hours thanks lol

As long as Ella has known Delyth, Delyth has talked about people she’s interested in. It’s not anything new or exciting. But, when she talks about people she is interested in it has always been a certain type of people. Boys. Then one day, she tells Ella about someone else. A girl. As usual, Delyth moved on fairly quickly and eventually ran out of things to say and has left Ella to her thoughts. Ella is sure Delyth considers this to be comfortable silence. It’s not comfortable to Ella who’s found herself overthinking every little thing as of late.Ella is almost convinced she imagined it, but she hasn’t. It was the same stuff she’s said a thousand times about a hundred different boys but with the “he’s” changed to “she’s”. She probably imagined it. It wouldn’t be the first time Ella’s brain has tried to convince her of something like that. So maybe she’s caught Delyth staring in her direction for a few seconds too long on a few occasions, maybe Delyth’s hand finds here’s too many times to seem normal, and maybe they share the bed more often than most friends should. There’s always something to explain it off though, she thanks her brain for that at least. Maybe Delyth is looking at something behind her that she finds particularly interesting, maybe every completely heterosexual teenage girl enjoys physical contact with her best friend that much, and, of course, maybe, as Delyth had suggested to her one night, sleeping in the same bed as someone else makes the nightmares she sometimes gets go away.

This girl who’s found herself the object of Delyth’s affections seems to be the only thing Ella’s brain can’t explain away into a completely normal and completely heterosexual activity.

“Let’s play with the Ouija board,” Delyth says out of nowhere. Ella’s stomach sinks for a different reason now.

“No. Absolutely not,” Ella shuts her down. Ella has always been skittish with the supernatural. It just wasn’t something she wanted to think about or mess with.

Nothing was sacred or off limits when it came to Delyth. She feared nothing and respected no boundaries when it came to being uneasy about dangerous activities. She was reckless with everything she did (which ironically enough has lead to multiple wrecked cars) and pushed Ella to be the same constantly. Usually Ella appreciated this quality in Delyth, it made her have treasured experiences she wouldn’t have otherwise gotten. However, she really did not appreciate it when it came to fucking with demons she didn’t want to have anything to do with.

“Great, we’re doing it,” Deylth says.

And that’s how the girls end up sitting on the floor of Delyth’s bedroom floor, leaning over a scary demon communication board with their fingers dangerously close on a planchette.

“I hate you so much,” Ella whispers to Delyth, as if trying to be quiet so the demons don’t hear her and think she’s talking to them.

Delyth adjusts her sitting position and moves so their thighs are pressed together. Ella contemplates moving so that the space between them returns but realizes that’s stupid. She’s being ridiculous. She’s almost an adult, she can handle being next to a girl without breaking down, even if that girl is her straight  best friend who has no idea of her sexual orientation or pressing romantic feelings towards her. Ella decides to put the thought to the back of her mind and attempts to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. Her feelings for Delyth seem to be scarier to her than the incoming threat of actual demons.

“Wait give me a sec,” Delyth says, taking her fingers off the plancette and moving back to put her curly brown hair into her scrunchie. Ella is almost sad to have Delyth’s leg removed from her’s before she panics.

“Oh my god, Delyth!” She screeches, “You can’t take your hand off the plancette that’s against like half of the rules!” 

Delyth scuffs at her. Actually scuffs. “Its fine the demons want me to look cute for them,” Delyth says as she looks at her reflection in her phone to check her hair.

“You always look cute-” Ella says. Her face goes red but Delyth seems unphased. Straight girls always compliment each other. Delyth doesn’t know that Ella is not a straight girl.

Ella has always meant to tell her. They’ve known each other since they were kids, their mothers always such close friends. Delyth has stuck by her side all through her parents divorce and her father’s remarrying to a evil witch Ella doesn’t want to think about now. Or ever. Delyth knows everything about her, besides anything to do with the lesbianism part, which just happens to include her being desperately in love with her best friend of most of her life. Ella isn’t really sure why she has kept this a secret from Delyth, but she likes to think that it’s because she doesn’t want to ruin the most important friendship she’s ever had. Delyth means everything to her, and she’ll take her in anyway she can get her. It’s so much better to have her as a best friend than not have her at all, and anytime she tries to tell her true feelings that pesky truth return to add to the weight on her shoulders.

Delyth puts her fingers back on the plancette and Ella notices how short her nails are. Ella is sure her nails were longer last time she looked at them. Delyth always kept her nails long, even getting fake ones put on every few weeks. It’s odd to Ella to see Delyth’s nails that short and clear of nail polish, but she kind of likes it.

“Did you cut your nails?” Ella asks, curiosity getting the best of her. She swears she sees Delyth smile out of the corner of her mouth and the butterflies in her stomach flutter a little harder.

“Yeah, long nails are overrated,” Delyth’s voice sounds softer than usual, or maybe Ella’s brain is just loosing oxygen from all of the anxiety squeezing her lungs.

“It’s cute,” Ella blurts. Her face goes red.

“Anything is cute on me,” Delyth says. She’s always had a habit of being cocky and arrogant for show and Ella has always been shamelessly attracted to it.

“Yeah,” Ella doesn’t let herself stress over that response spilling out of her. She doesn’t have time to anyway because, as always, Delyth moves on quickly.

“Let’s get started,” Delyth says, starting to move the planncette in circles around the board.

Never once in Ella’s life as she ever wanted to mess with the paranormal. It’s never tickled her fancy. Meanwhile, Delyth, being the fearless absolute idiot that she is, has always been interested in anything and everything she shouldn’t mess with. It wasn’t just paranormal, it was literally anything that shouldn’t be messed with. Bee hives, particularly climable trees, abandoned buildings, dead rodents-you name it, Delyth has fucked with it. Quite offten Ella, being the sweet and supportive best friend that she is, gets pulled into Delyth’s schemes. Ella’s hair is still recovering from the bangs Delyth insisted on cutting for her last year.

“What are we doing right now?” Ella asks.

“Giving energy,” There’s a pause and the room is silent except for the scraping of wood on wood. “Okay that’s enough.”

“I don’t like giving demons my energy,” Ella says.

“Stop being selfish they deserve it,” Delyth has probably never been serious for more than three seconds consecutively in her entire life.

“Okay demons, is there anyone there?” Delyth asks the void.

The void doesn’t seem to feel like answering because the girls go through every question in the book and then some before deciding that the whole thing is stupid and this board is stupid.

“Don’t call the demons stupid they can hear you,” Ella says.

“I doubt the demons are going to take much offense, Ella dear,” Delyth is teasing when she says it but it still makes Ella’s heart stop.

The girls say goodbye and throw the board back into the depths of Delyth’s closet. Ella vocializes her hopes to never see the thing ever again. Her heart still hasn’t calmed down and she’s scared of glancing at the windows on the off chance that there’s a ghastly face looking back at her.

“Are you saying the night?” Delyth asks. Ella knows that Delyth’s parents wouldn’t mind and also that technically three in the morning isn’t the best time for her to drive home. Especially when there’s too many backroads she’d have to take. Alone. Late at night. While she’s terrified of seeing demons. There was also a cornfield somewhere on one of those streets and Delyth has forced into watching one too many horror movies for that to ever be not traumatizing. She doesn’t even really need to think about it.

“Yes,”

“You look paler than usually, are you okay?” Delyth says, genuine concern in her eyes. Ella feels her heart swell. Delyth may be an actual idiot on the best of days, but she’s always a good person.

“I’m fine, just traumatized,” Ella says with a small smile. Delyth reaches out and pushes some of Ella’s not-quite-bangs out of her face. Ella is convinced she’s going to drop dead right here and now.

“Sorry, t’was bothering me,” Delyth says, pulling back right away as if she just crossed a line she wanted to get back on the right side of as soon as possible. Ella didn’t blame her.

“Okay I’m going to go get ready for bed,” Ella says quickly. She whips around to hide her blush and heads to Delyth’s bathroom.

“Okay, love you!” Delyth calls after her, considerablely too loud when her entire family is asleep in the same house.

“Love you too,” Ella feels her heart break a little more.

.

Ella is standing at her locker after third period, quickly switching her books and trying to keep it at least decently organized. Messy lockers have always annoyed her. Messy anything annoys her. She’s just got done organizing and is in the process of shutting her locker when she feels a hand on her arm. She almost yelps, but she decides to look first. She’s relieved when she sees a familiar brown hand gripping onto her arm but then it starts dragging her into the direction of the girls bathroom nearest to her locker. She holds her books closely to her chest with her free hand.

“Delyth what are you-“ Ella chooses to cut herself off. She knows that reason is pointless with Delyth. Delyth just does things sometimes.

The bathroom is empty. Of course it is. This bathroom just happens to be the most disgusting one in the entire school. There was dirt on the ceiling, how was that even possible?

“Look!” Delyth says excitedly. She lets go of Ella’s arm to use both of her hands to pull up her shirt.

Ella thinks she’s going to vomit from nerves. She’s so caught up in looking at her best friend’s skin that she almost doesn’t notice the reason that skin is being presented to her. Three red scratch marks extend from Delyth’s right hip bone to the left side of her ribs.

“What did you do this time?” Ella asks, forcing her eyes up from Delyth’s stomach before she completely looses her mind.

“I didn’t do anything,” Delyth says. “Don’t you know what three scratches mean?”

“I literally have no idea,” Ella confesses. Delyth let’s her shirt fall down and even though Ella was trying not to look she feels kind of disappointed.

“It’s demons!” Delyth sounds proud. Ella almost has a heart attack.

“Why are you happy about that?!” Ella asks.

Delyth just shrugs in response. She doesn’t seem concerned about it at all. That’s another trait Ella has always admired about Delyth, her ability to not only throw caution to the wind and do whatever she wants whenever she wants but her ability to look at the consequences of her actions (which are usually unfavorable) and smile. However, when it comes to her best friend being attacked by a demon, Ella is uneasy.

“Okay I’m going to class now so you don’t make me late,” Ella says. As she’s leaving she adds something almost like an afterthought, “I love you, call me after school so I know you’re not dead.”

“Okay, I love you!” Delyth calls after her. Ella’s stomach will never get used to Delyth saying that, even after over a decade of hearing it daily.

.

Delyth does call Ella after school, and she does it with fingers shaking and on the verge of tears. Delyth can look at most horrible decisions and be fine. However, facing this partial task seems way more difficult than any bad move she’s ever made. Maybe it’s a good move though, Delyth can’t say for sure just yet. Ella is her best friend, she’ll understand. Ella’s understood when she got her period and ruined her bedsheets in fith grade, she understood when Delyth snapped at her after a hard day at work and she even understood when Delyth called her crying at three in the morning that night after spending hours feeling guilty. Ella is a good friend. Ella is good, period. She’ll understand.

Delyth spends far longer with her finger hovering over the call button on Ella’s contact than she’d care to admit to any human being. No matter how hard she tries, she just can’t seem to jump into the fire and make the call.

Ella is her best friend. Ella knows her better than any human being ever. Ella is the best person Delyth has ever known, and she’s confident in that. She wants to tell her. She just doesn’t know if she’s ready.

Ella will understand. Ella will understand why Delyth couldn’t tell her before, and if Delyth can’t even tell her now, Ella will understand that too.

Delyth takes a deep breath and pushes the call button. Ella picks up after two rings. Delyth knows she’s been expecting this, hell, she asked her to do it. She just doesn’t know what Delyth is about to say. Honestly, Delyth doesn’t even know what she’s about to say.

“I think I’m bisexual, bye!” Delyth hangs up the phone and throws it at her bed and walks out of the room. She’s shaking even more now than she was a few moments ago.

Delyth could have said literally anything. Perhaps gone into a speech about how this won’t change anything and how she loves Ella and how she’s known for a while and it’s not that she doesn’t trust Ella it’s just that it took a while to get the confidence to tell anyone, even her bestest friend in the whole world. But no. Delyth always makes the stupidest choices and is prepared to deal with the consequences. Today, however, she doesn’t think she can. She could loose Ella forever. Well, no, she really can’t at this point. She could tell Ella she’s a serial killer and Ella would be fine with it but regardless, she’s nervous.

When she finally gets the courage to walk back into her room she’s got six missed calls and countless texts from Ella.

Ella (5:56 pm): ???

Ella: (5:56 pm): bitch

Ella (5:57 pm): ily but answer me

Ella (5:57 pm): !

Ella (5:59 pm): Delyth ily with my whole heart and I understand this is a lot for you but you have to answer me I’m a worried grandma

Ella (6:01 pm): I love you call me when you can

Delyth calls her back right away before she can talk herself out of it. Usually Ella is the stressed one who freaks out over nothing and Delyth is the strong one. Delyth has a feeling Ella will be strong for her right now.

“Hi,” Ella says softly.

“Hi,” Delyth repeats. She hopes her smile translates through her voice, but she thinks that’s only how it works in Hollywood movies.

“Can I tell you something?” Ella asks after a minute of silence.

“No never were supposed to be talking about me right now,” Delyth puts so much sarcasm into her voice not even the most dense person would get that she’s joking. Ella isn’t dense though, and Delyth knows that she will get it.

“We could talk about you forever and I’d be happy,”

“Was that your something?” Delyth asks quietly, as if they were telling secrets on the playground at recess again. This feels like a secret.

“Yeah, kinda,” Ella says with a breathy laugh.

“Good, it’s kinda my something too,” Delyth replies.

“Good,”

Nothing has really changed, but both Delyth and Ella feel like it’s a start. The butterflies in the stomachs seem to agree. Maybe the demons agree too, but neither of them mess with them again so they never really know.

[beevean]

So what are your overall thoughts on Forces storywise? Positives and negatives? Where do you think the story ranks in the series?

Maybe it’ll be easier to just list positives and negatives (warning: long post):

Positives:

- Even by watching a low-quality stream of the Switch version, I can say the game looks gorgeous. It does suffer a bit from the Adventure 2 syndrome, where the art direction can bet too dull for you to appreciate the graphics, but some stages are breathtaking. Egg Gate in particular looks amazing.

- While the plot on its own doesn’t belong in this section, I appreciate the simple fact that they actually dared to break from the lighter and softer approach that’s been going on since 2010, and the fact that they remembered that the cast isn’t just made of Sonic, Tails, Eggman, Orbot and Cubot. The concept was awesome! The tone was perfect, serious but not depressing and too try-hard! There was some action! It’s a step in the right direction, and I hope people will criticize the plot for the right reasons and not because “lol sonic shouldn’t try to be edgy”.

- Shadow will be playable. Even if he’s at his core “Sonic with a OP Light Speed attack” this is very important.

- While at first I was annoyed at seeing old levels again, I’m actually happy with what they’ve done. They’re not just rehashes, they’re treated like actual dynamic environments. Green Hill is not just “hey remember this level”, it’s a place dear to Sonic that was ruined by Eggman. Chemical Plant is also ruined and repurposed as a space port, almost like a Sonic CD Bad Future. Only the Death Egg is pretty much the same, although I admit, the Classic level using the same gimmicks as the S3&K version was a nice touch that I forgave because it made sense in-universe.

- The dialogue! Aside from a couple of stupid lines, mostly by Sonic, there was no trace of childish, jarring humor, nobody was OOC or treated as simple comic reliefs, and the interactions between characters were genuine and believable. Some parts kinda reminded me of the Boom cartoon. “See, Infinite, now we het to know each other! So what’s your favorite color? Do you enjoy long, romantic walks on the beach? What’s the source of your powers? You can skip the first two questions if you like” “Maybe he’ll have more friends if he stopped talking about himself in the third person.” (maybe I just have a bad sense of humor idk :V)

- Eggman and Knuckles were perfect. We didn’t see them a lot, but their characterization was on point. Knuckles was just full of charisma and he radiated confidence, a far cry from the butt monkey he’s been since Sonic X. And Eggman was actually smart, with some clever ideas like having backup sources for the Phantom Ruby, rightfully chewing out Infinite for not killing Sonic, and… well, we didn’t see it, but I like the idea of him keeping Sonic alive in his cell just so he could see what happened to the world thanks to his absence (that’s perfect fanfic fuel). And Mike Pollock managed to sound badass in certain parts. “The sun will fall upon you. Boom! The end. Your pathetic lives… are over.”

- Speaking of Pollock, the voice acting was some of the best in the games this far. I can count on a single hand the times someone sounded fake or unconvincing (mostly Silver, sadly, and Sonic was a bit oscillating). I think I gushed about Liam O’ Brien enough, he clearly had so much fun with Infinite. I can’t wait to hear the Japanese version

- And finally I love Infinite way more than I should. His design, his voice (especially his voice

- I like that thing Infinite did in Capital City. You know, when he mind raped everyone in the city by conjuring those abominations of nature. That was a clever use of his powers.

- The last shot of the game, with the Resistance hideout shining under the sun’s light and a single flower at the center, with the instrumental version of the credits’ song in the background, is honestly moving. Even after the huge disappointment that was the ending, this part made me feel satisfied and like I accomplished something (and I didn’t even play myself). It reminds me of Wiosna from Katawa Shoujo, and if you played it you know how it feels to hear that music after finishing a route.

Neutral:

- The scrapping of lives. I’ve seen people complaining that it makes the game too easy, but

1) there’s still some punishment if you lose a life, just like in Unleashed the timer doesn’t reset and of course you lose all your Rings, so if you die you can kiss that S rank goodbye;

2) lives have been pointless since the introduction of save files. Let’s be honest, when was the last time you got a game over in a game that saved your progress? And what was the punishment for a game over? At worst you just have to restart the level you died in.

So while I’m not particularly happy, I’m not disappointed either and I welcome the change.

- The music. I put it here because it’s kind of a mixed bag, there are tracks that I hate with a passion and tracks that I can’t get enough of (and I’ve only heard a tiny fraction of the whole OST). So overall I would say it’s average-to-good. 

I really wonder why they’re insisting of forcing Ohtani to compose whole soundtracks - the guy is seriously talented and I admire his work, but why can’t he be helped by someone else? I know Kenichi Tokoi and Naofumi Hataya also worked on the soundtrack, but afaik their roles are minimal.

- The Avatar himself. I’d enjoy the idea a lot more if 1) they talked, and 2) the characters stopped shilling them just a tiny bit, especially since everyone else was relegated to the background. Still, the concept of a muggle wanting to help the heroes is cool, as it goes against that sort of “elitism” in the Sonic series. And I just grew too attached to Gadget the Wolf :)

- The level design, the thing people trashed for months on end… it’s okay. Is it good as Generations’? Absolutely not. Is it bad? I don’t think so, because when I think “bad level design”, I think of Knuckles’ Chaotix and Sonic CD. 

Forces is inoffensive in this regard. On one hand, it’s not as linear as it looked like, there are multiple paths and some nice platforming sections. On the other, the 3D parts are few, short and in general not that engaging, and yes, Classic Sonic’s stages are supported by too much automation because the physics engine can’t handle him apparently. In short, if you’re okay with shallow fun and you thought Colors was fine, then you’ll be okay with Forces. (and while we’re not supposed to judge the developers as people, considering the level designers were all newbies I’d say they did a good job)

Negatives:

- the fact that you can’t recollect your rings unless you’re playing as the hedgehog Avatar. That just flies against the very core of the Rings concept.

- The sheer lack of “show, don’t tell”. Most of this game is just told, in fact most part of the plot is told via walkie talkie convos. The majority of the cast is just there to comment and guide the characters during the levels, only Silver is shown actually doing something. The most offensive example is how Eggman conquering the world is “shown” by a simple text box (people are already speculating it’s another sign of troubled production). And we don’t even see that much of the conquered world, either, aside from City (no seriously that’s the name of the area).

- What happened to you, Tails? What happened to the boy who wanted to be more than Sonic’s sidekick? Why the mere sight of Chaos 0 sends you into a panic when you fought Chaos 4 before? Why thinking Sonic is dead makes you “lose it”, when the same thing happened twice already (or once, if you want to discard ‘06) and in both cases you were devastated but still managed to kick ass? Why are you just an exposition fairy? Who hates you that much in the writers’ team? :(

- THE. RUSHING. Oh my god I could rant for hours about how the game not only is too fast-paced, but outright misses chunkes. I already mentioned the text box part, but what about the part where Infinite sends Sonic and the Avatar into null space… and they get out of there in literally ten seconds? What about Fake!Chaos and Fake!Shadow being dispatched like that, without even the simples of boss fights? What about Silver, Shadow and Omega just appearing out of nowhere? What about the “fake sun” plan being thwarted simply by the Avatar after less than ten minutes? What about the relentless teasing of Infinite’s origins, all culminating in a big fat nothing (he didn’t even take off his mask for fuck sake)? What about Eggman just vanishing after the final boss? What about the fact that two thirds of the final boss are rehashes, and at this point I’m seriously insulted by seeing Egg Nega Wisp for the third time?

- Going hand-to-hand with the rushed plot, the wasted potential. Sonic gets tortured in isolation, so you’d expect some consequences to his characterization. Nope! Not even a reveal that he was just hiding his fear by acting tough. Why are Shadow, Chaos and Zavok on Eggman’s side? Lol, they were just illusions, the real Shadow is fine and the others just don’t appear. All the cool hints about a tragic past for Infinite in his own song? Nothing mentioned in-game. He’s an experiment, that’s it. The connection with Mania? Just an excuse to justify the presence of Classic Sonic, whose only purpose in the plot is to snap Tails out of his depression. This game is just begging, “Rewrite me, please!”, and if I could write decently I’d do it myself, I’m that disappointed.

- What’s the deal with Aqua Road? It’s the only gimmick level in the game and it looks like the unholy child of those horrible bingo tables in Bingo Highway and this part in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban for PC.

- Very minor, but if Eggman could see the fake sun, that means he would’ve been incinerated too. Considering how smart he was otherwise, that seems like a huge hole in his plan.

That’s everything I can think of. So, in conclusion, the game is generally good but overall mixed, and I dread the coming of November 7th because I can’t even imagine the kind of reception this game will get (and since it’ll come right after Super Mario Odyssey I don’t think it will sell well :\). 

I would personally play it if I had the chance because the game doesn’t look broken, boring or frustrating, and if I can manage to have fun with ShTH Forces will definitely be entertaining :V but it’s clear something went seriously wrong during the production and it feels like there are bits of the game missing, bits that could’ve elevated the quality from “good” to “excellent” - which is also why I hope Sonic Team doesn’t throw everything away but keeps the good parts and expands on them to create an even better game next time.

So if you’re planning on getting Forces, ask yourself what do you want to see in a Sonic game, because that’s the thing that makes the difference between “it’s not perfect but I can have fun with this” and “this game is absolute trash and Sonic doesn’t deserve this”.

[thezolblade]

Fanfic ask game~ C, F, G, and V. If that's not too much :')

Okay let’s try these for some of the fandoms we have in common, though not all apply to each letter.

C: What member do you identify with most?

- FF7

I was going to say that I don’t particularly identify with any of the cast, beyond feeling for them as the story plays out. But then I remembered, omg Shera. It was obvious from the start that she did her job and saved Cid’s life, but he gaslighted her for not telling him what he wanted to hear, and only realised that she was right after bullying her for years? Wtf Cid, go die in a fire if that’s what you really want. It left me thinking “…And…? Will Shera be okay? Will she finally leave and get on with her life?”

I don’t care what Cid named after her in AC, I want to know if she recovered her self-esteem & career & personal life. If you have a techy skill, and people who don’t know better try to undermine you, that can be such a tough situation to handle… Years of it would be horrifying.

- Revolutionary Girl Utena

Anthy most of all, I think. Not the drama and trauma at the end, but the solitude she maintains when it’s not yet clear why. The show did a good job of showing that school can be hell for a lot of people, for all kinds of reasons. And damn, it was painful seeing Anthy spending so much time alone, offering everyone a false smile, avoiding the crowds because they really weren’t going to do her any favours. It got frustrating in the early episodes, seeing Utena push her into things when she’d said she didn’t want to about as clearly as she was ever going to. And it was pretty gratifying to see Utena apologising for that at the end.

I mean it was also relatableto see Utena trying to do the right thing, and getting frustrated at the world when it was never easy. I’m still impressed that they managed to demonstrate so much emotional realism in the conclusion, at least as far as you can extrapolate reality for magical near-immortals or whatever they are. With the show being heavily metaphorical, and ending with everyone trying to take the same journey in the movie, it seems like Anthy’s struggles were meant to have universal elements - showing how you can self-sabotage by hurting others, and hurt yourself by telling others what they want to hear. How you need to be able to imagine better options before you can walk away.

- Golden Sun

Uh, Alex, somehow. He’s an embarrassing mess, he makes so many bad decisions which are all ‘wft are you doing?’, and Dark Dawn got into near-wallbanger territory where I was disgusted with both him and the game, bc the gratuitous damage seemed pointless and inconsistent from a gameplay perspective, and so far across the line from a characterisation perspective that it’s really hard to see why Kraden was programmed to say that Alex may have been 'helping in his own way’ or something like that. But in the first two games, at least, there was some complexity to his attitude. (And bits like that of the 3rd one indicated that the canon may still have been trying for nuance, only pretty poorly executed. #.# )

Still, gotta admit by now that judging from the amount of meta and fic I keep writing from his pov, something about his thought process is relatableenough that you can see why he’d think what he thinks, even if he’s wrong. When he actually provides factual information, it tends to be correct. He uses relatively inarguable facts to try to influence people, and the trolling is kinda unrelated. The manipulation isn’t emotional “Leave or I’ll be disappointed in you for picking this fight” - it’s attempted-impartial “Don’t pick this fight because your opponent(s) are too strong / your parents won’t be released unless you keep your side of the deal with those people.” Plus a side of “Lol you think I’m trash don’t you?”, demonstrating that he’s not trying to use a personal connection as leverage bc he’s burning those bridges, and still somehow expecting people to listen. ’I’m not on your side! But you should take my advice!’ Embarrassing mess…

And yet the others sometimes come across as relatively young and distracted by comparison, making assumptions about the world that he wouldn’t, and arguing over petty details. What is the point of panicking over things you can’t change?

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Oh I like so much dialogue, tough choice. Uh well this probably isn’t the best scene, the oldest oldfic is still a messy WIP and I can tell it’d need a lot of work to match the newer stuff, and even to get it finished as what I originally envisioned I need to schedule a whole lot of time to work on it. But I want to, because I still love it, and since I haven’t managed to communicate the whole story yet to its readers, it feels like a self-indulgent choice. I’m pretty attached to the parts where Alex and Isaac get incredibly annoyed at each other, making the situation worse even while trying to work together, though they can’t each recognize genuine effort in the other - for a variety of reasons by this point.

“I… am sick of receiving derogatory communications from the aether, the last one wasn’t nearly as offensive, it wasn’t even real, - ”

“Wait, it’s… What?” Isaac was having trouble making sense of this. “Have you been getting obscene messages from the gods?”

“Can’t you go five minutes without bringing the gods into this?” Alex snapped, looking down again, seizing the chance to change the subject. “We are the ones with infinite potential!”

“Yes… but…”

“And you are the one capable of taking the rest…” It was only after Alex added this that Isaac realised he’d meant the two of them, not humanity in general. For a moment, he’d thought they were of the same opinion there.

“But is it… really…?” Isaac gestured at the paper, wondering how its message could be so irrelevant to Sheba’s fate. If it wasn’t about Sheba, what use was it?

“If you do not intend to believe anything you hear from me, why tell me to speak?”

“No, it’s… uh, don’t worry. I’ll take your word for it, for now.” Isaac smiled, realizing that 'don’t worry’ was slightly inadequate even as he said it. “We have to make sure it comes into existence the way it’s supposed to. First things first. We’d better head upstairs and tell the others the plan.”

“Bring them to me.” Alex could see that Isaac didn’t understand why he would request this. Shouldn’t it be obvious? Why would he want to go back to them, to approach them entirely on their terms? “Whoever would be involved, bring them here.”

“If it happened upstairs, you should probably try it there.”

“Do you think I still need higher ground?” Alex asked quietly, his voice barely audible over the noise of the water behind him - boiling water flowing from the cold tap.

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Often from start to finish in as few sessions as possible, though if it’s long enough to take more than a few days, I end up jotting down dialogue notes, and then trying to put the notes in order, which gets more fiddly the more there are. The multichapter longfic get big chunks written out of sequence, which sometimes makes it easier to fill in the gaps by joining the dots, and sometimes leaves me blocked on how to tackle the parts in between.

V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Not sure I could choose anything; other people’s stories are their ideas, and I generally want to hear more from the authors because they’re not the kind of stories I’d have intuitively come up with. Reading fic does tend to spark plotbunnies, but more those that place a headcanon in its own verse showing how else it could play out - different characterisation even if I’m adopting a headcanon I like. Back when I read more fic, I used to get the urge to play with the more macguffiny plot elements of things too, but never got to the point where I had a divergent fan-fan-fic that I could have asked the author about as far as I remember.