#genuinely this movie would have been so good if it didnt try to focus on connecting to the other universe

[mayo-advance]

2 AM ramble about the Hunger Games and the fandom

*It should be noted before reading this that I am not an english major. No research went into this beforehand. I am just a girl whos read some books. Also this could be entirely wrong, I didnt have time to word it pretty*

The Hunger Games is a unique series. It is considered a young adult dystopian novel, but it stands apart from other notable books in the genre for one reason. It has real anger behind it. The thing that makes good dystopian literature good is usually held to how accurately it critiques the world around it. Dystopian - although this isn’t the exact translation - roughly means “no good bad place”, and the most popular books of the genre exemplify that.

Every year, over and over, people re-discover thar our world is very much like that of George Orwells 1984. Some claim Orwell must have been a “prophet” to write such a book. But the truth is that he wasn’t predicting the future at all. Orwell was simply writing a dark reflection of his own time. He identified certain traits in the world and he magnified them in his story until the reader could see why they were a problem, and why it would be strange to live in such circumstances. Similar patterns are present in Brave New World and Fahrenheit 451. These patterns also exist in the Hunger Games.

Other books in the YA Dystopian genre lack this inspiration. Instead they are written for the sole purpose of telling a story, which is why they fail. The point of dystopian is to make critique. Without the critique, many of the books could be passed off as sci-fi, with the new developments in tech. The books need the bleak reflection of our present to really drive the worldbuilding.

So, with all that in mind, the Hunger Games is in a weird spot. Its a YA Dystopian, which serves a purpose of girlbosses with dubious love interest fighting a faceless government and other ripoffs of such (I do acknowledge there are other good YA Dystopians, ive only ever read Divergent). But at the same time the Hunger Games has the grit that many of the more classic dystopians have. You don’t see anybody thirsting over Winston from 1984, and you don’t ever see any true analysis of the meaning behind Divergent. But the Hunger Games gives us both.

This in and of itself isn’t that big of an issue, except fans often try to take the YA part and seperate it from the Dystopian part. This goes as far back as the “Team Peeta” vs “Team Gale” debate that sparked when the book released. Although there is no issue with enjoying petty little fandom dramas - I have also indulged in such things - these arguments became the focus, overlooking any genuine meaning behind the story. 

I understand, this is fandom culture after all, not every piece of media can be put under the microscope all the time and many fans have put fantastic thought into the actual meaning behind the book. But with the release of the new movie - The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes - the fandom has become more open to the general public, and these issues have worsened.

To start, the obvious. All the tik tok girlies thirsting over Coriolanus Snow. I even saw one go as far as to call Lucy Grey the “villain” of the story, because she hurt poor baby Coryo. This is actually ironic. I remember when the book was announced many fans, including myself, were afraid that Collins was going to try to make Snow sympathetic. Instead, she gave us another amazing book and gave us more insight on the worldbuilding, and Snow as a character. Sure,  his parents died, but the book shows again and again how he isn’t the victim. It shows how selfish he is and how all of his actions are geared towards improving his image and moving up in the world (I could go into heavy detail about his relationship with Lucy but thats for another time). And so here we were with a good book that didn’t make him a sob story villain. 

And then the movie came out. And despite the fact that the movie did fantastic with showing how unsympathetic this man is, somehow, some way… are sympathizing with him.

The obvious reason is because they find him attractive. This is the same old tune as when the Dhamer show with Evan Peters came out on Netflix and they were thirsting over him too. However many of these girlies (gender neutral) are using their attraction to him to justify that hes not a bad person. And theres a lot of them.  I don’t really have more notes on this topic its just baffling that the minute a tall white boy is on screen all comprehension of good and evil goes out the window.

The next problem with the people and the movie are all the people calling for more movies. “I want to see Finnick in the games!” or “I want to see Haymitch in the games!!!”. Congratulations, the capitol would love you. This also confuses me seeing as the original series does an amazing job at showing that the capitols complicity and enthusiasm for the games is part of the problem. And the new movie even goes further as to show if the people don’t watch, there are no games. And yet fans are calling for more movies, not with the purpose of adding more worldbuilding or adding more layers of meaning to the already existing story, but because they want to fulfill their fandom needs of wanting more content.

This is my biggest issue and the whole reason i’m writing this actually. The Hunger Games is being treated more for the YA side of things than the Dystopian side of things. Fans want to see more, not wanting any meaning, but just wanting content.

The third thing I’ve noticed is again from tik tok, all of the girlies (again gender neutral) doing “Hunger Games” themed makeup looks.

There two notable kinds. Theres the “x district” themed makeup, and theres a chronology type makeup where they show themselves at the reaping all the way through the victors parade. Both raise issues. The district makeup looks always, ALWAYS glamorize the district which is strange and ironic considering we never see the districts not starving and dying and suffering… I understand makeup is supposed to look good but, maybe don’t romanticize the districts..?

The chronology makeup is also bad for the sole reason that it ALWAYS shows the artist as the victor. It’s another way of romanticizing the games in a way, showing how gorgeous you’d look after you’ve won. Ignoring the kids you killed and the trauma you’ve endured. The whole makeup stuff is insensitive

Anyways yeah im tired theres my thoughts. It just is so weird and disheartening because this story has something to say. The reason we even got a new book is because Collins had more to say. And instead of focusing on all of the complex worldly issues that were masterfully written into the books, we are not just acting like a fandom, but we are acting like the damn capitol.

[fipindustries]

scott pilgrim vs the canon

boy you better have this tagged against spoilers because otherwise this is going to ruin a lot of stuff. all im going to say is, this show cannot be watched without having read the comic first so. keep that in mind.

scott pilgrim was the seminal work of my generation, it was the thing that defined us and the internet to a large extent after it came out in full back in 2010. now we are all here back again, in our late 20's, 30's and even 40's to take a second look at this franchise after everything that has been going on.

and this franchise had things to say.

i went in expecting scott pilgrim the comic, this time more lavishly (and faithfully) adapted than the movie could have ever been. suffice to say i was not dissapointed at all because i didnt get that in any way what so ever.

this is in some senses the modern cannibals of the scott pilgrim franchise, perhaps less cynical and bitter. this is an examination of this story from a slightly askew angle. this is a what if that takes itself to another level.

those who say that this "feels like fan fic" are half right, but if so i want to see what fan fics they are reading because i never saw a fanfic that take the world and its characters so wildly out of context, put them in outrageos new situations they would have never been in, do some genuine crack slash ships and yet still feel so genuine, so true to the original. just because none of what is happening here happened in the comic that doesnt mean these arent the characters we know and love and that this isnt the world and the mood and the vibe that that we all grew up with.

the brian lee o malley style is so incredibly hard to capture. its this wonderful mix of over the top anime/cartoony action mixed with incredibly grounded, down to earth, super chill vibe. we've seen the wonders that came out during the 2010's made by other artists inspired by it or directly trying to emulate it, and yet none of them were able to capture it quite right and this show is the bona fide real deal. it made me remember why scott pilgrim captured me so much back when i read it as a teenager, its a mood impossible to reproduce and yet reproduced all the same here in this show.

wonderful.

the animation is of course out of this world. the voice acting could do some work but im willing to let it slide considering that they went with the original cast from the movie.

this story feels almost like an answer to the observation many people made at the end of the comic and specially the end of the movie. that scott and ramona were obviously not meant to last. that they were still too young and too messed up as people and the relationship was probably going to end badly. the show examines all that with raw honestly and concludes at the end that, sure, maybe this is not going to work out. but that doesnt mean they shouldnt give it their best shot.

as i said at the beggining, this has to be understood as an addenum to the comic. it starts as an adaptation, it lulls you into thinking its a wacky what if and ends up being a covert sequel. with that in mind, this show understands that you already understand and know who scott is and what his deal is, so it chooses to focus squarely on ramona and the exes, and let me just say. the exes are the fucking break out stars of this show. i love every single one of them. the fact that each of them get their own little mini arc and a chance to either redeem or at the very least become genuenly sympathetic was absolutely brilliant. these guys are amazing.

this story in general just presents such a feel good, likeable, chill athmosfere, where even villains who seemed irredeemable can still have just a calm conversation with the hero and just chat for a while. share a coffee, wind down.

if i had one single complaint at all is that i was a little sad by the implication that scott wont learn his lesson at the end of the original story and will continue to be kind of a clueless immature douche. but it is tempered by the fact that this story still has a lot of sympathy for young scott and it makes the case that the guy still very much deserves a chance.

so yeah

loved it, great work, it tried to do something super weird and it somehow succeeded. good job 9/10

[brainbuffering]

where was the representation for jewish people in the spiderverse movie? this is a genuine question btw im not trying to be condescending im legit curious, as a jewish moviegoer i didnt see anything that felt like legitimate representation of jewish people or judaism at all

Your take on whether it is "good" representation or not is entirely down for you to decide, and I will fully accept any and all criticism there of! I am culturally christian after all. However, Peter Parker is a Jewish character -- always has been always will be imo -- and in the first film his wedding to MJ was explicitly jewish, and in promotional material I remember seeing him having a Hanukkah Cup rather than a Christmas Mug. I have OBVIOUSLY not seen the new film because I do not wish to die.

Of course, these things are bare bones stuff. My critique was not meant to be about whether or not it was legitimate representation or not, more that the film was inherently ableist. I put jewish in there because I know Peter Parker to be Jewish, and I wanted to make the point that there are characters who speak to people from lots of different backgrounds who are denied the ability to see this film because doing so could kill them.

That is the focus of my post, that is the major point I wish to discuss and the only one I feel qualified in having a strong opinion on. That if there WAS an attempt to accurately represent jewish people in the film, then many jewish people would not have been able to see the film. Because doing so could kill them.

[justarandomgirly]

I'm genuinely so sad with marvel, though i treasurenit bc its been there for me since the age of four, i cant help but be sad as they choose the worst teams to execute shows and films and ruin some incredible stories and characters. How they're so obvlivious and ignorant to the plots and their stories and end up making something completely different and far from who they are.

How some of the films lack potential and theyre like "i know how to fix this" and call some incredibly famous people just to get people to be excited bc sometimes, if those people werent there, the film wouldnt be as impressive. And this isnt the characters fault but what Disney and Marvel are doing to them.

Its like they stopped focusing on good story telling and character arcs, and instaed focus on making as much money as possible.

Like the whole multiverse. We dont need it. I dont need milion new variants of old characters, played by famous actors, who are hired for 30 seconds, and the sole purpose is to lure people into cinemas. I want my variant that I have been watching for years and I want their story to be told properly.

But what Marvel is doing, is they dont finish one and they are already bringing in new one, even want me to care about the new variant more. Sorry but I have no feelings for them. This isnt the character I literaly spent a huge part of my life watching.

I would gladly switched the whole multiverse idea for a good well written story with only like 5 actors, but satisfactory ending and good storytelling.

Imo the last truly good movie was Civil war. After that it went down the hill. And there is explanation. Russos admitted they didnt actually have a plan so that's why everything now seems souless to me. They are just adding things now along the way, without a clear plan (same happened in Loki according to SDM)

I think Marvel realized they fucked up when they killed two of OG avengers and 3rd one died as well. They got rid of golden geese. But they still wanna make money of course so they are trying to fill holes in our hearts with multiple variants of characters played by famous actors.

Not gonna work on me. Sometimes less is more.

Lol im not sure I answered to the point😄

[ruralbi]

cause im so much younger than the other visibly out queens, especially my gay dad surrogate who's in his sixties, he babies me a lot. i also have a massive case of baby face, so i forgive him for forgetting that im almost 30. but im sure if i told him abt half of this he would tell me off for being a cheap slut and makin all of us queers look bad. if i tried to talk to him abt dick sucking problems he'd tell me 'not before ur 18, fancy'. he also tells me off for screwing around at work cause he's like that's ur livelihood fancy focus fancy and he's right. but its not my fault i draw out repressed bi dudes like a moth to a flame. its not like i have that many options.

my ex that has been keeping me on the dl for two years, probably counting even tho im trying to move past it. a guy that needs to arm wrestle me as a excuse to hold my hand. he once asked me if we could platonically buy a house together. once his mother was drunk and bein all nice and motherly towards me and immediately that night he told me that he was gonna stop seeing me the minute he found a girl he liked better. we had been living together in a studio apartment for four months at the time. we are very platonic best friends, officially.

my ex coworker who also didnt want to tell anybody cause it might hurt his tinder chances but still had the time to plow me several times a day (but not at work im a serious worker i swear dad) he only used spit as lube :( but was very enthusiastic. thankfully he moved away he was dumber than bricks. however, we respect a king that clearly communicates his sexual boundaries. my ex tried to share me with him (they were friends) and he was like thank you kindly but no, it's gay if the balls touch. i was like baby dont say this they wont touch but he still went off to be not gay in the next state and im still threesomeless

this behemoth of a builder who at least isn't in denial, just in the closet. he's got two ex wives and three children. he's a violent alcoholic but not towards me. he calls me black out drunk to tell me he loves me and talk abt god. his family are the craziest evangelicals in the county, i babysit his nephew, but his brother doesnt know we fucked. he got into a fight with his other brother and choked my housemate (his colleague) so i didnt text him back for months. but now they made up and i think i might call him back. him and my housemate got a construction job near the house and if he comes to sleep here it's over for me.

my coworker who's this really sweet bi dude!!!! he genuinely said the words i am bi to me bro he just admitted it and i think he might genuinely like me!!! we went on three honest to god dates i think. he didnt make a move but u dont take the local fairy to two concerts (just us two) and the love festival fireworks show without some kind of ideas. like we couldn't be out with our relationship at work bc he's masc and can pass for straight but i think he might tell our friends and shit at least!!!! he is really soft and big and i wanna cuddle him and also suck his dick, the bear curse. but he also he didnt try anything sexual for three whole dates so im like maybe he just wants lgbt friends? but he does talk really sweet to me so that's suspicious.

however he is not a possibility bc we Work Together and i almost blew it at work last time i slept with a coworker.

AND last time i was ALSO so sure he was such a good guy who was gonna be out and propose cause he talked so sweet during the first three weeks but four months later he was introducing me to his tinder hook up as his buddy. so lets not be stupid twice and believe the same lies every time, even if its what i wanna hear.

oh fancy u r so cute u r so sweet i wanna hold ur hand and stay in to watch horror movies, baby boy i will protect you and put u up in a nice house and treat u so nice!! princess dont worry i love u so much FAST FORWARD hey jessica meet my buddy fancy we work together!!!

also he spits in my hole jessica but u dont wanna know that dont u. i wish i didnt fuckin know that at this point. like granted at that point i realised he was dumb as bricks and didnt want anything but sex and beers to do with him but still! this dude genuinely lied through his teeth with romantic fantasies for me to bend over, so like men lie and im not gonna fall for the same trick twice. im already poor as shit i dont need to be bullied at work for bein a gay slut until i have to quit.

(tbh i get it he kinda had to cause at the time i told him i wouldve gladly fucked him but unfortunately we were coworkers and i didnt want to risk my job for a fuck and thats when he started the whole relationship talk. so it wasnt outta nowhere but still a massive dick move)

a year ago i made out with a THIRD bi coworker at a party and told him that sorry we couldn't actually go any further cause we work together and he was really gracious abt it. but i liked him a lot less than this current guy so its gonna b harder. but i have to b strong. like NO weakness to baby boy talk.

if u really want me that much, quit :/

[babydarkstar]

me anytime the plot advanced in eternals:

[blissfulparker]

Flashing lights→prince!tom

Parings→prince!tom x princess!reader

Summary→when two kingdoms come together to form allies, A marriage between you and tom will hold that bond. you and tom have to learn to love each other. In front of cameras and media it’s love at first sight. alone it’s scarce touch’s and innocent looks scared to know each other.

Warnings→arranged marriage, small talks of smut, slowburn

Wc→3.5k

A/n→ this was requested from someone who donated. If you donate to a blm campaign I will write a request for you! I am still doing this and a few other blogs are too! Every penny and every signature counts. Your voice counts💗 also there are going to be two parts and this is just part one!!!

England's golden boy. That's what he was. The oldest prince that was still young, his white smile mixed with the well kept curls was what made him so charming and made the girls swoon. His sweet soul and his availability when it came to relationships was what kept the media on top of him.

Although everything changed in a matter of weeks, a marriage to form allies caused tom to shut his gates and only focus on you. There were no more late bar nights, no more public sporting events, it was now only you and his new marriage. The public only got a glismpe of the new relationship that blossomed over night but was staged to be love at first sight months ago.

“That's good,” you smiled at the maid who poured your tea. “Thank you.” she nods her head before locking you back in your room.

You didn't say much when you arrived. The only words you spoke with Tom was with the media around to catch them. Tom's arms snaked around your waist acting as if hes known you for a lifetime. Sweet cheek kisses and held hands to Tell the cameras whatever they wanted to hear to keep himself high and you higher. Other than those small moments in front of millions of cameras and people, you did not say a word to tom, Nor did you see him that much. 

Your fingers wrap around the cup as you bring the warm mug to your face. You knew your duties, breakfast at nine, lunch at one, attend any meetings in between, dinner at seven where you must sit with tom, and the rest of the night is yours but you must be in your room by ten. It is recommended that you and tom get to know each other in those nightly hours but the two of you rarely did. You are not allowed to leave the castle unless Tom is by your side because if he isnt that suggests to the media that you two have split. Any activities outside of the kingdom must be done with tom or a member of the royal family. The rules were strict but easy to follow if you didnt care about breaking them.

You felt bad sometimes about not making much of an effort with Tom, you'd been here for only a week but a week felt like a month and the days felt like weeks. Tom was almost always busy as well, too busy to love his own wife.

A knock on your door pulls you out of your thoughts, you set the cup down as you flatten out your skirt walking over to the door. Assuming it's a maid, it's not. Tom stands there in a polo shirt and khakis, its his golfing outfit and in about twenty minutes he would go out with his brothers to golf. The course was private and it was always reserved for them and a few friends. You didnt know much about tom but you knew he loved golf, everyone who kept up with the royal family knew that. Maybe all you thought you knew about tom personally, the public knew it as well.

“Tom?” you look at him confused as to why hes shown up at your door at a time like this.

“Hey.” his hands fiddle with each other as it was his thing he did when nervous, he would mess with his hands or rub his thighs. It was cute, he was cute.

“Hi.” you smile and he looks past you to see if anyone was in your room.

“I thought id ask you to golf today. We should get to know each other more. I mean you're technically my wife. well.. going to be anyways.” he speaks in a stutter, you make him nervous. Your eyes bat softly before looking down at the glove he wore. You dont golf, you didn't play much sports before coming over here so why would you make a fool of yourself in front of the prince.

“I dont golf,” you get nervous, you clear your throat not trying to be rude but you can already feel yourself shrinking more and more. “Sorry.” you start to shut your door but he stops it with his foot.

“Wait!” he stops you. Speaking a bit louder and his voice carries through the empty hallway. “You dont have to know to golf, honestly most people who dont golf just steal the cart.” he lets out a soft laugh. A laugh he gives to the cameras, the laugh he gives at dinner, the laugh he gives to everyone as he welcomes them into his home. It was a sweet, nervous, genuine laugh that he gave to everyone. “But i can show you. I just thought because we dont have much time together and were going to get married in three months--” marriage. The wedding in three months that was so far but so close. Mostly for the public, the knot was technically already official but the wedding would make the public swoon. Make everyone know you two are official.

“Right.” you cut him off with your own thoughts. You look outside into the garden and in a distance there is a golf course. The land looking different from your own home and making you miss the kingdom you originally came from. Your eyes water slightly at the idea of being home. The idea of laying your head on your mothers lap as you two watched movies before being told off to bed. The beautiful thought of working in the garden with your family. All of that traded for marriage and becoming united.

“Like I said.” you don't mean to be harsh, you feel a tear getting ready to fall from your eye. You sniff and look down. “I dont golf.” you shut the door and lock it up behind. Your eyes trail down to the wedding ring tom had given to you, the ring to show everyone who you now were. Who you now loved. You could learn to love each other but you had not tried yet.

Tom stood on the other side of the door scared. The mahogany wood stares at him back and he wants to each out for the door, try again, not mess up but he knows you need to be alone. He knows you miss home and dont know him more than a prince. He knew you only knew prince tom and he was going to change that.

-

It had been two days since your encounter with tom. You had only seen him at breakfast, lunch, dinner and outside your window when he golfed. Maybe you were too harsh with him. You had spent nights standing by your bed contemplating to go to his room, apologize for what you said. Try again, try to let him know that you only miss home, you could never hate him.

Now moonlight came through your window. With every twist and turn, checking your phone to see the time had reached another minute of less sleep. It was one of the nights where you missed home a little extra, you wanted to be back in your own bed but you were here.

With a sigh you rub your face pulling yourself out of bed. You weren’t supposed to be up around the house when no one else was, you didn’t understand why but it was among the list of rules you had to follow.

It would be the first rule you had broken, opening your door with a creek, you tip-toe down the hall and down the stairs to make some tea. Hoping that will work hard enough to put you to sleep for the night and leave your worries for the morning.

You weren’t the only one who couldn’t sleep though, Tom had the same motive you did. Although he snuck out more often so he knew all the secrets of the house.

He stood shirtless in the kitchen, pulling out a mug to get ready for some tea. You pause in your steps as you see him standing. He's facing away from you, his back muscles seem to flex everytime he reaches for something, it only causes your stare to worsen.

“Fuck!” He almost shouts as he turns to be frightened by you. You jump by the sound of his voice and run your hands over your face.

“I’m sorry!” You whisper and he places his hand over his heart. He takes a deep breath before he speaks, regains his composer before starting the conversation.

“Can’t sleep?” He asked you with a cock of an eyebrow. You nod and he turns to reach for a second mug, knowing already what you wanted.

“Yeah,” you sigh. “I mean no! No I can’t sleep.” You correct yourself and he chuckles a little getting the kettle ready.

“You’re missing home.” He tells you and you walk over to him. You’re close to him, closest you’ve been to him.

“ it’s obvious?” You ask and he shakes his head.

“No,” he tells you looking over with his soft brown eyes. “But I think if I was torn from my own home and forced to marry someone random I would be petrified too.” He tells you assembling the two tea bags. You watch as he does so, how the tea bags look so small I’m his hands, how he does everything so delicately.

“Well...I’m not as scared as I was when I found out but this is all still new to me. The kingdom I mean, your kingdom.” You lean against the counter as he passes the tea to you. You smile as a thank you and he turns off the stove.

“Our kingdom.” He reminds you and you nod still having to get used to it being for the both of you.

“Right.” You take a sip and he walks over to where you entered. Noticing you not following him he turns around, his eyes soft and his face pleading for you to come with.

“You coming?” He asked and you didn’t have much of a choice. Stay here in silence or get to know Tom, your future husband. You push yourself off the counter and follow, you follow him out of the kitchen and into the large library. The library that most days seemed empty, almost no one came in here unless it was for their own studies.

Tom leaves you by the couch to start the fire pit. It’s always cold on London nights, you seemed to learn that quickly. How cold the air gets, you always bundle up with extra blankets and sweatshirts but Tom seems to be perfectly content.

He takes a seat on the floor next to the fireplace. Reaching over to the small love couch and grabbing a blanket and a pillow for himself he looks at you with sweet eyes.

“Do you want to sit?” He glances up. “Or will you stand all night.” Teasing seemed to be his sense of humor, his sense of humor that was harmless.

You take a seat across from him. He shares some of his blanket with you before finding his gaze stuck in the fire. The room was silent, there were no birds like the morning, there was no chatter of guests like the day, the golf club meeting the ball was nowhere to be heard. The only sound was silence and the void was to be filled by your voices.

“When I was a little boy, I used to sneak down here all the time.” He starts and your eyes are now on him. His face lit by the fire causes you to see every freckle, mole, and wrinkle on his face. “The funny part was I hated reading. It’s just that this room seems to be unoccupied most of the time so I enjoy the bliss of getting away.” He takes a sip of the tea, you watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallows the warm liquid. You hear the mug clink with the wooden floor as he leans back watching the fire unfold.

“It’s nice, I like it.” Were the only words your mind allowed you to speak. A small smirk rises to his face but then falls, he likes the sound of your voice.

“I read a lot as a little girl,” you tell him. You’ve caught his attention. “I was all about fairy tales and my mother would read them to me all the time. I loved the written idea about princesses but that’s what they do with them, they write all the good things and leave out the bad. They never tell what happens once the people look away and the crown comes off.” You tap your fingers against your mug. He understands, he didn’t read fairy tales nor did his mother read them. But he knew that in public he was the ideal prince, behind closed doors he wished so badly for a Normal life.

He moves, leans over to touch your face, move the eyelash that bothered him. His larger fingers come into touch with your delicate skin, it was almost like he didn’t touch you at all but the short eyelash rested on his pointer finger.

“Are you going to make a wish?” He asks holding it out for you to blow. You look at him then back at the lash. You’ve never been this close to him before, so close and so alone.

You close your eyes and blow gently, when you open the eyelash is gone. Toms got a cheeky smile before letting his hand fall.

“What did you wish for?” He asked. You cracked your own smile and shook your head.

“If I told you it wouldn’t come true.” You laugh a little and he looks at you more seriously.

“Oh come on! We’re going to be married in three months. Can you at least give me an insight of what you wished for?” He lets out a little laugh and you shake your head.

“No Holland, that’s not how it works.” You tell him and he leans in again and looks in your eyes. You’ve never seen such a goofy side to him, you don’t even think anyone has seen it.

“What are you doing?” You giggle a little as he has this face of seriousness. He’s staring deep into your eyes mostly just to get you to smile.

“Oh, I was trying to see what you wished for.” He jokes before moving back and accidentally knocking his mug over. You quickly lean in to grab it but don’t realize you’re leaning on Tom. Legs now intertwined, shoulders touching and faces only inches apart. You quickly try to clean up the spill but Tom can’t take his eyes off of you. He picks up the spoon and places it back in the cup before you realize how close you are to him.

His hand drops from the mug and trails up your shoulder, he touches every mole, every scar, every bump of the skin he may feel, he stops right as he gets to the strap of your shirt. He takes it into his hand but he doesn’t let it fall.

You watch as he does so, watch as he plays with the strap and maybe you’re so desperate, tired, needy for him to do something or for anyone to do something.

“Tom,” you whisper and he Looks up. His lips only inches away from your face as you speak. You’ve got his attention and now you’re lost for words. He leans in first, you do as well and feel his lips brush against yours. Anyone could walk in, anyone awake could walk in on you two right now.

His right hand supports your lower back, it wants to trail up but to be respectful it stays in place. His lips ghost yours before you pull back in a more teasing way. He only chases them, it shows how desperate he is for them.

“I’ve never kissed a boy before.” You admit. It was semi-true, in secondary school you played spin the bottle, the times you landed on someone it was just a small peck. Nothing more nothing less. You had never fully kissed someone, locked lips, pulled them close, eyes closed and begging for more. You never had that.

“It’s okay,” he leans closer. “If you’re uncomfortable we can—“ he starts and you quickly cut him off.

“I’m not uncomfortable.” You told him and he presses his lips together looking down at yours. “I promise.”

“Do you want to kiss me?” His lips now gently ghost over your cheek, it’s almost like he’s directly speaking into your cheek.

You nod but that’s not enough.

“I won’t do anything until you speak.” He reminds you and you say in the shakiest voice you have, a soft ‘yes’ leaves your lips.

His hand now on your face, he pulls your lips into his, they fall against his. They’re warm from the tea, chapped from the lack of sleep, but feel so good molded against yours. He’s gentle but let’s you know how much he loves it. Your hands hold onto his shoulders, touching the bare skin and feeling the heat as the kiss escalates. You had never felt so good in your life before, no one had made you ever feel this good. Even if it was just one, desperate kiss.

He pulls back, you catch your breath and want to lean in for more but he moves back. The sun is coming up, you didn’t realize how much time was spent down here, what felt like minutes was truly hours. His thumb rubs your cheek, reaches up to feel the bag under your eye before he plants a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth.

“I should get you to bed, it would be irresponsible of a prince to let his princess lack sleep.” He told you. His cheeky sarcasm comes back as he stands up from his spot. He holds his hand out for you to take and it’s almost like what happened never did. Like it was just in the fairytales you read.

Cups and blankets left in your spot as you get started to leave the library. The fire still burns and it was obvious the two of you were down here but like Tom said, no one ever went down there.

He holds you close as he sneaks you back into your room, when the sun comes up the maids start to come out, get things ready for the day before everyone wakes up. For Tom, waiting until the last minute to sneak back to his room was always a part of the no sleeping fun.

“Prince tom? Princess (y/n)?” A voice stops the two of you. Tom turns around seeing a maid, a maid with towels walking down the hall. He always treated them with kindness, he knew all their names, all their stories, he knew everything about them.

“Eve!” He smiles and she gives a strange look. “The princess couldn’t sleep! I offered her a midnight stroll that clearly was longer than expected. We’re going back to our rooms now to sleep, don’t be worried if she is late for breakfast, the princess needs her sleep.” He tells the woman and she nods. He gives her a soft smile before making it back to your room.

“Thank you.” You tell him when he opens the door for you, not only for the door but for everything he’s done for you tonight.

You turn around, place a soft kiss on his cheek before holding onto the door handle.

“Goodnight Tom.” You smile softly. His cheeks rose red after you kissed just the one. He bites down on his lower lip and nods.

“Goodnight princess.” He watches you close the door before going back to his own room. He almost skips in joy as he goes back. The point of tea was to sleep, let his mind slip and fall back to sleep. Now his mind was racing, he wasn’t going to sleep, he would think about you and your lips, how sweet they were and how they were just like you.

That night in the library was only the start to something real, something the media and your families wouldn’t understand.

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[xenosagaepisodeone]

ok 3.0+1.0 longpost -_-

it’s difficult for me to describe how I feel about 3.0+1.0 as a film because it’s artistic vision is just a 25 year cultivated response to the otaku fixation on nge. this film hardly feels like it can stand on it’s own feet as a coherent story -- it’s constantly introducing and reinterpreting symbols, contexts and concepts in order to lay down some kind of grounded world while also wanting to be evocative of the freeform flow of feelings occurring in EoE/Ep25/26. if this movie was it’s own thing and just living in the shadow of it’s predecessor, I could probably live with it and maybe even say that I liked it, but it’s flip flopping on if it wants the metanarrative to drive the story or if it wants to erect a new mythology of Eva altogether completely squanders maximizing the potential of doing either. what were left with is a very cowardly iteration of the message at the end of nge -- “human connections are important, even if they can be painful” becomes “ if we show you what you wanted to see for the past nearly 30 years, will you grow up now?”

"Defeated" feels like how I would describe the ethos of this film.

reiQ’s farmer adventures were cute, but in a way that felt bittersweet- because this character is not actually rei. not simply because she is not ayanami, but because she carries no actual development from her previous iterations like the other characters of rebuild. reiQ answers the question of “what if rei was actually as moe as she looks in official art” but forgets to pull the rug out from beneath you to unveil the depths of her turmoil. while Ayanami would say “I am not your doll to control”, reiQ has almost every aspect of her character dictated to her by other people - and this is depicted as fulfilling and human (because Anno wants you to get a job and have kids). not even her name is her choice. her sudden death only exists to serve as a motivator for shinji. I wanted to believe that this was some commentary on how a relationship without pain and loss cant exist, but it seems unlikely as rei (1, 2, 3, Q, Ayanami, lilith, etc) does not have an arc in this film. also the TV production quality of the village segment made it feel like I was watching a 12 episode sol as opposed to an actual film.

funnily enough, my feeling towards reiQ made me feel retroactive distaste towards 1.0 and 2.22. I’ve never thought rebuild was good, that much has never been a secret. 1.0 and 2.22 however carried enough over from the original series that it felt like the original characters were picking themselves up and getting better. I was happy seeing asuka, who had previously spent 26 episodes and a movie being miserable, open herself up to happiness. I was happy seeing rei connect more with shinji. even if the characters had to become simplified versions of themselves to find their own peace, it didnt feel thatbad. I didn’t realize until 3.0 came out how little this tetralogy had to it beyond puppeteering iconography and hoping that fans find meaning in it. 3.0 and 3.0+1.0 carried the same conviction of 1.0 and 2.22 of showing you characters you like doing things you wished they did, but with the support of the original series environment withering away to unveil half baked ideas, convoluted plots and meaningless regurgitation of every meaningful image this series has produced. seeing rei stripped even farther than her bare bones as reiQ put into focus what I thought I appreciated about 1.0 and 2.22.

there were a few times throughout this movie where I was trying to figure out what it was that anno was trying to say. as stated in my op paragraph, the film does carry it’s own simplified message about how important it is to grow up and face the real world, but this message largely betrays the framing. its cowardly. the pain that shinji experience does not come from the Other anymore, it is all self inflicted. learning to endure hardship simply became a matter of overcoming your own feelings, because now everyone else in your life effortlessly accepts you. there are 3 girls with who dont have any problems anymore and a solarpunk empire that would be all over you if you simply stood on your own two feet. there is no asuka experiencing hedgehog dilemma with shinji, there’s only asuka who exists so shinji can learn how to confess to a girl. there is no misato constantly subjecting shinji to a interplay of projecting her issues onto him and attempting to mother him (with varying degrees of success), there’s just shinjis step mom who accepts that she is responsible for him (which feels GREAT to see but feels bad when you think about what it sacrificed to get there). for a guy whose complicated relationship with otaku culture has bled into his work, you would think that idealistic fantasy of the real world wouldnt be the crutch of the delivering his message. when I say that “defeated” is the ethos of this film, I mean that it is so lacking in purpose compared to its predecessors that it wears itself thin trying to superficially have something for every conceivable audience while throwing out the meat of why people liked those things in the first point.

I was surprised to see that it was gendo who survived as the most introspective part of the film. i’m conflicted towards how I feel about a gendo redemption arc, but I feel as if his instrumentality sequence itself was decently shot (I hate having to compare it to ep 25/26 but it lacks the artistic flare for such a big budget film) and very well articulated. there’s a beautiful story in here about realizing your parents are people and parents realizing the responsibility they owe to their children, but I wish it could have been explored in a different film where characters are less held back by their established canon. honestly watching this whole sequence made me wonder if anno is still friendly with goro miyazaki LMAO

I was largely uninterested in the fight scenes, I think the only one that genuinely made me feel something was the one towards the end where asuka turns into an angel. the poor fight choreography coupled with weird shot composition and the overbearing usage of cg makes fight sequences overbearing and kind of difficult to decipher. cg fights are largely 1 eva vs a swarm of enemies that take up the screen, all of them having the same line weight which just ends up making all parties involved look like a mesh of colors. there arent real stakes for the most part either, asuka and mari tear through waves of enemies with effortless precision accuracy in a way that isnt visually or technically impressive.

believe it or not, I don’t actually dislike Mari. Mari enacts what Anno sought to do with the Rebuilds -- to destroy Evangelion. Mari (literally!) falls out of the sky into the story and is not gripped by the pain of the hedgehog’s dilemma as she exhibits her adoration for most things. her romance with shinji is intentionally analogous to how anno perceives his relationship with his wife -- that she saved him by encouraging him to live in the real world. the actual, textual ridiculousness in her character is softened when you realize that she’s just another component of his 4 movie long exhibition of telling everyone his life is better now that he’s successful and has a hot and talented wife.

is it worth complaining about all the crotch or ass shots. i think we all feel the same way about it. anyway i have more thoughts but these are my loose ones.

[honeygingergemini]

Hey bb I'm here for two things! If you do taglists can I be added to all your cevans characters? And to request a daddy Steve and princess reader. Maybe her innocence and sweetness turning soft daddy on? Or anything you'd like. Thank you❤❤

Hello :))) First I’m so sorry that I took so long to get this put a lot of stuff happened in a short amount of time but its finally finished and I hope you love it!<3

I’ve read this a thousand time but I know there’s still typos please ignore them <3

warnings: innocent reader, fingering, attempts at dirty talk and praise kink

word count: 1.9k 

My Little Princess

As much as you try, your mind keeps replaying the conversations from work. You and the other ladies of the office always eat lunch together and gossip about office drama. Today was no different. The trending topic of the office today was Michelle and her engagement. The dialogue quickly changed from how big Michelle's ring is to what she had to do to get that ring. Or better yet, what she had to suck. 

“I bet she blows him off every night.” Kim spills between bites. 

“Blows?” All five heads turn in unison eyeing you with suspicion. 

“Uh yeah babe, blow job.” Tina mutters in a condescending tone you don’t catch. 

“What’s a blow job?” 

You squirm from embarrassment. Hours later and you can still feel the twinge of humiliation bubbling in your chest. Of course it would be you, of course it had to be you. The only woman in the world who’s never given a blown job. It’s not like you didn’t know what a blow job was, because you did! You just hadn’t known it had different names. You shuffle again, blowing out air from your nose. 

“You okay, princess?” 

“Hmm, yeah yeah, i’m fine.” You tuck yourself closer into Steve’s arm trying to focus on the movie infront of you, but you can’t. 

“You’ve never given Steve a blow job?” Amanda asks, genuinely curious. 

“W-Well uh- no.” You fumble with your shirt, not wanting to meet anyone’s gaze. 

“Wow, true love actually exists, he looks at you like you��ve hung the moon and stars and you’ve never blown him off.” Kim touches your shoulders. “My dear you’ve won the jackpot, whatever you do, do not let him go!”

Your mind begins to wonder. Thoughts of uncertainty creeping in to fuck with the foundation of your relationship. Have I been doing enough? You and Steve have been together for a year and you thought everything was going well, but now you’re not so sure. You thought your sexual life was moving perfectly, up until today. You two haven’t slept together but you’ve done other things to satisfy the primal needs. Heavy petting, hunching, intense kisses that leave you dizzy. Never once in any of those moments did you feel they may have not been enough for Steve but now that's all you can think of. What if he’s bored of me?

“Hm.” You turn again causing Steve to pause the flick you two are watching. 

“What’s wrong, doll? You can’t keep still today.” You untangle yourself from Steve and turn around to face him. Your knees press into the couch, putting you in a comfortable kneeling position. 

“Steve.” You begin fumbling with your fingers. “Are you… bored?” Your voice is small but your heart is loud. 

“Of?...” 

“Are…. are you bored of… like of... of me?” You peer up at Steve through shy lashes. 

“No.” His face twists with disgust and confusion. “Why would I be bored of you, we’re just watching a movie” 

“No,” You cut off the clueless man spread out before you. “Do I… satisfy you?” Steve’s face remains blank through three blinks then his boisterous laugh appears, sending tiny swords through your center and brings you to a death by embarrassment. 

“Steve, I’m serious.” But that only fuels his laughter more. “Steven!” Your whine pulls Steve from his laugh and he sees you’re physically uncomfortable. 

“Baby? Doll, come on…” Steve’s large hands grip your head to face him but you shuffle out of his hold. “Hey, where is this coming from?” You chew your bottom lip contemplating whether or not you should reveal the conversations plaguing your mind. 

“If you didn’t satisfy me, I wouldn’t be with you.” Steve grips your waist and pulls you onto his lap straddling his thighs. “Hey.” His head dips down to meet your low eyes. “You please me, you always do.” 

“So it doesn’t matter that i’ve never given you a blowjob?” Your mouth moves faster than your mind, further embarrassing you. Your question is met with a deafening silence. 

His face is full of concern and now you're upset with yourself for even bringing this shame home with you. “Princess, where is this from? Seriously.” 

“Well, the ladies and I were at work and Michelle got engaged so then we started talking about blowjobs and i didnt know what one was, well I do know what a blowjob is i just didn't know it’s formal name and-” 

“Hey!” Steve cuts off your soft rambles causing you to breath. “Look at me?” Hie large fingers cup your chin and bring your eyes to focus on his warm blues. “You’re enough for me.” He seals his words with a kiss. The kiss was sweet. Affirming to my insecure soul. The next kiss was less noble but just as passionate. The familiar burn sets in your chest as the kiss grows more heated. Steve’s skillful tongue wraps around yours in a way that is profane. A soft whimper escapes you as your boyfriend pulls away from you. 

“Stand up for me baby.” Steve commands through hasty breaths. You quickly stand before him, chest rising with anticipation. Steve’s sizable hands familiarize themselves with your body like they've done time before. He takes his time squeezing your breast. Even through the thick material of your top you can feel Steve's hands radiating heat into your skin. His hands then find your midriff rubbing his calloused hands into you making you squirm. 

“Steve,” You cooed impatiently. 

“Yes pretty girl?” His hands are placed on your hips now, working your jeans down your legs. His lips find the trimmings of your lace panties, placing soft microscopic kisses along the ‘v’ of the material. You intake sharply when Steve's lips meet your clothed mound. 

“Turn around for me sweetness.” you spin slowly moving on a form of autopilot. “Sit back.” He holds your waist guiding you to sit back down on his lap. He brings his knees between your legs before widening his stance, leaving you unable to close your legs on your own. 

“Baby?” His hands trail up your midsection, to tweak your beaded nipples through the thick material of your top. “You know how much i love you, right?” With each word warm air caresses the skin behind your ears. You feel amazing, he hasn't done much and you feel over the moon. A light pinch brings you to reality. “Hmm baby?” 

“I’m sorry,” You apologize for your hesitation “Yes I know how you love me.” 

“How much.” His colossal hands continue their assault on your chest. He gently pulls a nipple between his index and middle finger. A soft moan leaves you barely audible. 

“A whole-” Your answer is cut off when you feel heat separate from your own grazing your pussy. Unbenounced to you, Steve's hand had made his way to your slit and began to slowly circle the area. Another soft call leaves your silk lips. 

“Answer baby” 

“You love me a whole lot, to the moon and all the stars and back” 

“That’s right baby,” He pushes his finger into your clit with a little more pressure than before. “To the moon,” He pulls your panties up wrapping the moistened core around his thick fingers “To every single star.” His fists tighten as he prepares for destruction “And back.” he pops the fabric of your under garments and you gasp. His lips meet your neck again and place more kisses to your pulse points. 

“You know how much I love you,”His fingers introduce themselves to your slick folds. The sounds of light sloshing make you aware of just how turned on you are. Your head falls back unable to maintain even breathing. “You know, so how could you let one conversation mess with your mind?” The conversation that once brought you immense embarrassment was now a complete after thought. Steve's fingers were torturing you sweetly. Your clit vibrates against his tough skin as his warm slick lips meet your juggler leaving open ended kisses. 

“You’re so pretty baby.” kiss. “My little princess.” kiss. “You gonna let me make you feel good?” Instead of a kiss Steve licks down towards your collarbone. 

“Yes.” You hiss unsure of how to react. You’ve had intimate moments with Steve before but nothing like this. “Yes Stevie, please make me feel good.” Steve pushes his nose into the back of your neck inhaling deeply, 

“You're so sweet honey, so polite.” His left hand is firmly pressed against your core while his right hand runs underneath your top lifting it to reveal one breast. He presses down on your clit causing you to whimper. 

“Stevie.” you whine. Your body begins to wither on top of him. “Please baby, I need more” Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you grind into Steve’s stiffness. Steve dips his middle finger into you. “Mmhhmm” you cry out from the pleasure. Your skin is hot and your ears hear a slight ringing. 

“You see how you make me feel, doll?” and you do. Your hips gyrate over his in a circular motion. You feel his hard stomach against your back then his well built member pressing firmly into his denim causing you to moan. Your music only fuels Steve more. 

“One day,” His ring finger joins the middle one and he speeds up his violation. “Instead of my fingers it’ll be my dick in you.” Steve’s control is admirable. With every dip of his digits a wet click follows as a response. The once light sloshing is now replaced by intense leaking. You can't remember a time you've ever been this wet. Your arousal is overflowing. “I’m gonna fill you up baby, I’m gonna make you feel so good.” 

“I love this sweet pussy.” He whispers more so to himself rather than to you. All you can do is moan. 

“You’re gripping me so tight baby girl… you like me playing with your pussy?” Your head is spinning, Steve’s voice is the only thing cutting through the white noise of your mind. Steve has never spoken to you this way. His words ignite a fire in your core as the familiar build of an orgasm approaches. He takes notice of your approaching release. 

“I want to see you squirt pretty girl,” Your hips jolt forward as Steve curls his fingers within you. “Come on, be a good girl and squirt for Captain.” He’s now slamming his fingers into creating a vulgar splashing everytime his palm meets your mound. 

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god.” Your voice raises higher with each connection. Your right nipple is exposed to Steve taunting him. His lips wrap around the nub causing you to arch closer to him. He swirled the muscle in his mouth around your nipple in a way that was heinous. 

“Please Stevie, please.” You sink your nails into his high attempting you bring your bodies closer, if that was even possible. 

“Come on, I want my sweet girl to feel good.” The combination of Steve’s lengthy fingers continue their manipulation to your internal walls, his right hand presses firm semi circles into your pleasure button and you see white. Your orgasm ripples through you like an intense wave. Your literal wave splashes across Steve’s thigh and he chuckles. You’re faintly aware of him licking your arousal off his fingers. 

“Stevie…” You sobbed from the stimulation. “Stevie.” His name is the only thing coherent in your mind. 

“I know, I know pretty girl.” Steve coos. His hands slow pace calming you down through the aftershocks of release. “You look so beautiful when cum.” He smiles widely as he smacks your thigh. 

“I can’t wait to see you do that on my dick.”

[glitterge1pen]

To Wake Up To A Mailbox Filled With Letters Only From You

Iwaizumi Hajime x reader, sfw, fluff, word count 2,071

It was driving him insane. The notes, envelopes, and pieces of paper started appearing at his desk on February 1st. They were tucked away in the cubby and made him incredibly nervous. Whoever was doing this to him was going to really, really make him lose it.

It was nice knowing that someone liked him. Even if he didnt know who it was, it was a good feeling. The only downside was that he had to keep this from you and Oikawa for as long as he possibly could. You two were Iwaizumi’s best friends yes of course, but this was too much.

If Oikawa found out he would stop at nothing to figure out who it was, the teasing would be brutal. If you found out? Iwaizumi didn't want you to think that he had feelings for anyone else, even if you werent dating he didn't want to put that idea into your head. Not only that but anytime romance or dating was brought up with you around he got nervous. Even watching Ryan Gosling movies with you was incredibly difficult. The conversation felt like walking on landmines when it came to yours or his love life.

The first day it was a purple foam heart the size of his palm. Covered in stickers, glitter glue, and in the center was a picture of him playing volleyball. It was from the stands, he could tell the photo had been zoomed in, but he was up in the air on the court. There was no message on the note other than some sharpie bubble letters that said “hottie”, he didn't really pay attention to it. He assumed it was Oikawa messing with him like usual. But when Oikawa made no mention of it he knew that it wasn't his friend.

That night at home he tucked the heart into his desk drawer. He lay in bed trying to imagine who would have made such a thing for him. Since it had been in those somehow taunting bubble letters he couldn't decipher it by handwriting. He did think the “hottie” thing was funny though. The list of people who could have left him the silly little message rattled in his mind.

He knew that he wanted it to be you. He wanted you to do something cheesy, cute, and cliche like that for him. For you to like him so much that it wouldn't bother you to do things like that. It would be your nature to give him gifts and say stupid things to him that made him laugh, that made his chest feel warm.

The next day he was surprised to see another note. He managed to slip it into the cover of his notebook without anyone seeing. It took everything in him not to peek at it during that first class. He knew for sure now that it wasn't Oikawa because they had walked to school together that morning.

It was during lunch that Iwaizumi took out the note to look at it. He had went out to grab drinks at the vending machine. Away from the prying eyes of his friends he opened the front of his notebook. This second card was much more traditional in style. Red construction paper, with white frilly lace on the edge, a mostly straight line of glitter glue outlining the heart.

This one had a picture of a bunny and text that read “some bunny loves you” , another picture of him had been doodled on so he had bunny ears and whiskers. This picture was not from volleyball and he couldn't remember where it had been taken. It was a little creepy but he cared more about who was sending these to him.

The following day he was looking forward to going to school. He wanted to see if he got another note. Even if he didnt know who was sending these, it did feel nice to know that someone could be interested in him. He had spent many valentines sharing the fruits of Oikawa's good looks. It was a good feeling to know that he could receive the same type of attention.

He did get a store bought card that day. It had a picture of a bumble bee and it read "bee my valentine and you won't get stung. A piece of candy had been taped inside the card. After that it was a cootie-catcher with all kinds of pick up lines buried in its folds. There were two more hand made cards that were covered in stickers, shiny tape, glitter and gel pen.

It was halfway to Valentine's day now. Iwaizumi woke up on the seventh of February wondering what type of card he would get. None of the other cards he had gotten helped him decipher who was sending these to him. It was once again at lunch that Iwaizumi snuck off to peak at what had been left to him. Today it had been a plain white envelope with a heart sticker sealing it shut.

Iwaizumi was expecting another bad pick up line but was instead met with an actual typed up letter. Whoever had written this actually, genuinely, liked Iwaizumi. He had this dumbfounded swirling feeling in his stomach. One of dread and excitement. Because he knew exactly what the letter was saying. The letter was true to the way he felt about you. And this letter wasnt from him to you. He didn't know who had written this.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he had not seen Oikawa and Hanamaki run up behind him.

"What is this?"

Oikawa's voice had a mischievous ring to it and before Iwaizumi can properly respond the envelope had already been taken from him. His fingers ghosted the traces of the paper, trying to grab it back but missing it by inches. Hanamaki put his arms around his shoulders locking him into place. Iwaizumi was more desperate now as he tried hurling insults at Oikawa.

"Oh my god, oh my fucking god"

The look Oikawa had on his face was of pure joy. A smile spread over his face and he couldn't help but laugh.

"Who wrote it! Come on tell me who your new lover is"

Oikawa sung that last part. But now Hanamaki was interested in the letter and upon reading it he had the same reaction.

"I don't know who wrote it"

Hanamaki scoffed.

"What are you kidding?"

Iwaizumi looked at his friend confused. But Oikawa launched into a rapid fire question session with Iwaizumi.

"Wait you're telling me you have been getting these for a whole week now and you didn't say anything to me! Your dearest friend!"

Oikawa feigned injury at this, falling back into Iwaizumi as they walked.

"I didn't want to deal with it, plus I don't know who is writing these and maybe they don't want anyone else to know"

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

You had been doing your best to not tip off Iwaizumi that it was you leaving him the notes. But you were rather disappointed at his lack of reaction. You didn't expect him to suddenly be walking around like a love sick fool but he appeared no different to you. You still walked home with him and Oikawa, you had eaten lunch a few times since, everything was the same.

It was after school and you were waiting outside the gym for Iwaizumi and Oikawa. On days they had practice you hung around in the library finishing up homework or browsed through the books. The door to the gymnausm swung open, you greeted Hanamaki but were halted by the extra devilish grin he had. You roll your eyes, pretending to be annoyed by his antics.

"What did you do now?"

You ask teasingly.

"Me? I haven't done anything"

He was faking innocence.

"Really?"

You say, raising an eyebrow.

"It's funny though, because, I think thats its you whos been up to no good"

You're taken aback not sure what he's getting at. He drops the sarcasm for a second letting out an exasperated sigh.

"I know about Iwaizumi"

You pull on his arm leading him further away from the gym.

"Did he tell you it was me? Does he know? He hasn't said anything-"

He cuts you off.

"Slow down, that idiot is way too dense to know you like him back"

Hanamaki covers his mouth at that, knowing it wasn't something he was supposed to reveal to you. But you lit up at his words.

"He likes me back? But you said he doesnt know whos writing the notes"

"That's because he liked you before you wrote him that letter...wait did you say notes? There's more than one?"

You felt your face heat up in embarrassment. So you explained what you had been doing. The notes for each day. The entire time you spoke Hanamaki had an expression that was somewhere between disbelief and bemusement. You were about to ask Hanamaki about Iwaizumi some more when said boy walked out from the gym.

You let go of Hanamakis wrist, not realizing you had been holding onto him for so long, to wave at your other two friends. They started to approach you but you waved them off.

“Go on ahead I’ll catch up!”

You turn to Hanamaki once again. More serious than before.

“How did you know it was me?”

“You help me out with essays all the time, that letter you wrote him sounds exactly like you”

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

The next day Iwaizumi was not able to focus. He had received a bouquet of suckers and lollipops. Each adorned with sharpie and a terribly corny phrase like “99% Angel” or “Lover Boy”. Oikawa had of course taken one of these for himself. Saying that Iwaizumi owed him. They were walking home without you today, you said you had needed to help Hanamaki with some homework. But that was exactly what had been bothering Iwaizumi .

The night before when you and his friend had been out in the dusk alone. Your hand on his wrist. You looked flustered, and Iwaizumi could only recall a few other times you had been blushing so intensely. What had you been talking about with him? It was driving him crazy that he didn't know, that you were off with him now.

“Where are the rest of them?”

Oikawa asked, grabbing at Iwaizumi's bag. Iwaizumi pulled out another sucker from his coat pocket but Oikakwa was not satisfied.

“No, the rest of the valentines cards and letters, I wanna see them, you can't hide those from me forever”

Wide eyed Iwaizumi doesn't know what to do or say.

“Those are private property”

But Oikawa knows his friend well, and it was not long before his request was granted. Reluctant and embarrassed Iwaizumi allows Oikawa to shuffle through his desk drawer where he has stashed his paper treasure. Oikawa of course photographs everything. When he reaches for the one valentine with the bunny pun he stops.

“Isn't this photo from that movie night we had a couple months ago?”

“What? No way it was only me, you and…”

His words stayed caught as whispers in his mouth. Oikawa was right. It was hard to tell because the white wall behind Iwaizumi in the photo could have been so many places, but he did remember wearing that shirt. You took that photo. It was you.

“Hey, you know you have to make them a card now right?”

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

You and Hanamaki had been trying to sort out some sort of a plan. You were originally going to confess to Iwaizumi face to face on Valentine's day. But you wanted to do it immediately now. You didn't want to drag anything out or confuse Iwaizumi by not telling him that it was you. There was only one more day until Valentine's day and you couldn't decide if it was worth the wait anymore.

The morning was brisk and a bit cold. You were shedding off your coat, opening your locker you saw an unfamiliar shade of pink. It was a paper heart. Similar to the ones you had made for Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi. You recognized his handwriting. It read;

I feel the same. Meet me after school tomorrow to talk. Can I call it a date if we get food? Check yes or no.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

A/N: Did I plan this out at all? No. Did I edit this at all? Also no. But this idea was rattling around in my brain and I needed to get it out. Its a little Jem and The Holograms with the whole “omg surprise its me the person you're in love with and also the person who flirts with you a lot and makes you confused” ALSO I LITERALLY HAD NO IDEA HOW TO END THIS ONE????? so sorry if its more muddled than usual

[livelovelaug-h]

Hellish, Jealous

Steven Hyde x reader t70ss

Request for anon: Hiya! So hyped that you're starting to write for That 70's show Haha if it's possible can I please request a hyde x plus size!reader (or just Reader) where they're really affectionate and hyde gets jealous because R is really cuddly with Fez too? Thank you so much and I cant wait to read your other work!💗

a/n: hope you enjoy, let me know what you think!! sorry it took so long to make!! Thanks again 4 the request & send more if you want. Thank you for wanting to read my stories, best message ever. Much love! ❤️

Thursday, 1979 1:00pm

Eric forman's basement

You were sitting watching TV with your legs over Hyde's that were on the table, while Fez and Eric played some card game. It was a cute little flirtatious thing you and Hyde did: pretending that the other one was taking the space on the table, shoving at each other's legs, which then always ended up with you laying your legs over his letting him "win".

After about 20 minutes Jackie walked in: "Hey y/n, ready to go dress shopping for the wedding?"

"Ugh. I think I'm just going to wear a really nice jumpsuit or something, I hate dresses." You said taking your legs off of Hydes.

"Why do you hate wearing dresses, y/n?" Fez asked.

You: "because I gained some weight and I'm not skinny like everyone else so it's not going to look good, they never do."

"What are you talking about?? You're gorgeous. You have curves, every man's weakness. I love your body."

"I know you meant that in a non creepy way, so thank you fez." You gave Fez a kiss on the cheek, making Hyde shift uncomfortably in his seat.

"See you guys later."

The rest of the gang caught up with you guys at the mall 2 hours later to buy some tuxedos and more flowers.

Hyde: "Hey where's y/n and Fez?"

Jackie: "well y/n was crying in the changing area again, so Fez was helping her calm down. I couldn't take it anymore, she was ruining the good mood for trying on clothes."

Hyde walked into the changing area and saw fez holding your hands, you spoke up: "Thanks fezzie, you really know how to make me feel better." you hugged him and it seemed more intimate than usual, so Hyde took off. Generally you would always flirt or cuddle with Fez when he did it first but something about it lately just doesn't sit well with Hyde.

In the circle

"Jealous? Nah man. don't be ridiculous forman. I just think Fez might like her now, he's starting to make the real moves."

"Maybe because you took so long to make a move dude. She deserves someone who can finally make a move. Oo or bust a move, which Fez can also do. I vote for Fez." Donna says getting super excited.

"I wanna say Burn but I just don't wanna rub it in more man you seem pretty upset. Just kidding! DOUBLE BURN!"

"Whatever you guys, it's no big deal okay.….. so I found out there's this car that runs on water man-"

Eric, Donna, Kelso: "shut up with that story."

Eric's living room

8:00pm

You walked into the living room only to see Hyde watching TV alone. "Hey Hyde, whats up?"

"Nothing much man. What's up with you?"

"Just got back from meeting a friend at the hub."

"Surprised Fez wasn't with you." He whispered.

"What ??"

"Oh nothing I'm just tired I'm gonna head to bed."

"Really at this hour?"

"Yeah all that shopping wore me out."

"Oh… okay good night then."

"Night."

You turned to the TV but you couldn't really focus since you knew Hyde was acting different. Was he mad at you? So you went over to Donna's. "Plus nothing good is on" You said to yourself.

~~

"I just don't know why he's being like this, I mean who sleeps at 8:00pm??"

She just made a weird face and shrugged.

"Why did you make that face? Oh my god you know something! Tell meee."

"no I don't!"

"Donna! This is serious."

"fine okay look, Eric told me that Hyde is jealous because of how you and Fez have been lately and it makes sense to me."

"Hyde doesn't get jealous. Plus Fez and I haven't done anything, it was just a kiss on the cheek earlier pretty normal stuff."

"Yeah but it was also in the changing area. You two were holding hands and Hyde saw."

"but it was just because I was -"

"Crying yeah and you didn't go to Hyde like you normally do."

"Oh… wow you're right. I didn't think he would care though. Hyde doesn't know what to do when a girl is crying."

"Maybe but just go and talk to him about it, make him feel special again, so he can act like normal." You both giggled but you quickly stopped.

"I can't."

"Why not??" You raised your eyebrows, making a face in a 'do you even need to ask?' kind of way.

Gasping she says: "Because you like him. I knew it!!!"

"Of course I do Donna, have you seen him? I can't talk to him about why I was crying. That'll make me look stupid and weak."

"I don't think Hyde will see you in those ways. He's always made you feel better when you were down. It'll be fine."

"Thanks Donna, you're the best. I'll talk to him tomorrow! So how's Eric doing with the whole no more sex thing??"

"Well you know he still tries all the time to make me say yes."

"Like he said before everything gets him horny. He'll be fine." You both laughed.

~~~

NEXT AFTERNOON

12:00 pm, Eric's kitchen

Hyde was putting his plate in the sink, Kelso was at the fridge, and you and Fez were sitting at the table; Eric & Donna just left the room with Jackie, to talk about more wedding stuff.

You: "hey fez I was wondering if you wanted to go see a movie tonight?"

"Really with you? Yes of course."

"Great!" You watched hyde the whole time.

"Hyde do you wanna come along tonight?"

"No i'm, um working."

"We can wait till tomorrow."

"I work late then too." You narrowed your eyes as he speaks kinda coldly. After that Hyde left the room, so you followed him out.

"What's wrong jealous?''

''Are you kidding me jealous? Ha no way."

"Well then why the cold shoulder?"

"I've just been busy."

"Mm busy, yeah busy giving me the cold shoulder!"

"Well I don't exactly see you spending time with me either. Lately all it's been is fez and you."

"Yeah I guess I didnt notice that till Donna said something, I'm sorry Steven, that'll change I promise."

"Its cool. Now I get to do this." He leaned in and kissed you. No tongue just a genuine kiss, that lasted about 10 seconds before you guys pulled apart.

"Wowwww that was -." You started.

"Amazing yeah."

"How about we go and see that movie tonight?" You bit your lip.

"Cant I do work late tonight, but tomorrow I'm free."

"So you were jealous huh??" You asked a little too happy.

He smiled playfully, "I dont do jealous."

"No of course not Steven." You smiled back, while he put his arm around your waist, walking you towards his room so you could talk while he got ready for work.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

[brokennerdalert]

Lil Internal Romantic Crisis, Maybe? That I need advice for.

(Feel free to skip, I’m just kind of ranting) (But I could use a bit of advice? So maybe skim it and help me out, maybe?) (Please??)

Have you ever felt like when you met someone you could fall in love with them? Like you like the person but you knew that if you had a bit more time you’d just be head over heels?

I’ve never had a boyfriend or been in love. Which at 18 seems sort of sad. I’ve had “crushes”, you know the type where you think someones cute but end up not thinking of them after a few months.

I live in the middle of freakin nowhere. And when I say nowhere, I mean NOWHERE. Like the neared town is an hour and a half away. So I very limited possibilities to go out and see anybody.

 I was at this powered flight academy (with planes)-not really going into details cause it doesn’t matter- with people I’ve never met before, except two people. One acquaintance and the other a very good girl friend.

ANYWAYS. There was this super cute boy (Who we’ll call Blake). I mean he was sooo cute. He had such a nice smile with big white teeth. He had pretty dark brown eyes. He was tall but not intimidatingly so, only a few inches taller than me. To top it all off he had a very charming personality. He was funny, sweet, smart, and confident.

I’ll go through a few situations on how I lead to feel a “pull” toward him. First off, he defended me and my friend (who we’ll call Lola) when one of the other guys at the event was lowkey insulting us. Now I can take a joke, but he was saying how women shouldn’t be pilots, they should stay home and cook, clean and have kids. Again, I can take a joke, but he repeatedly said stuff along those lines. Along with not keeping his hands to himself. He was always kind of grabbing me and Lola. Eventually Blake, took the guy aside and told him to leave us alone and knock it off. Which was sweet, but I could’ve handled it myself.

There was another time where my flight instructor was chewing out my butt because I went to fly with another instructor after one of the adults make me go. I tried to explain to my instructor that it wasn’t my choice, but he didn’t listen and kept yelling at me. I felt like I was going to cry, which is rare cause I absolutely HATE to cry in front of people. But Blake was trying to cheer me up. Which he shouldn’t have, cause Mr. Instructor Man had it out for him and yelled at Blake every chance he got.

One night we were hanging out in the common room they had available watching movies. Do you know that hand thing you do with someone to compare hand sizes. Well we sort of did that for awhile. Eventually he asked if it was okay  to hold my hand. I said it was, and in my head I was screaming. I’ve never held hands with a boy before! Much less a super freakin cute one who seemed into me! I didn’t really know what to do. I was so nervous.

We held hands for a longs time. Since I was nervous my hands got a bit sweaty, which made me WANT TO DIE! So I did what I thought was the normal thing to do and let go! But he looked at me and asked what was wrong. I told him about my hands, and all he said was ‘so?’ AND ASKED TO HOLD MY HANDS AGAIN! 

As the week went on, he always asked to hold my hand before he did it. And when Mr. Sexist ( the boy who said women shouldn’t be pilots) ended up pushing me out of a chair and ultimately making me get a bad rug burn. I played it off and pretended to I had to go to the bathroom. I was really to clean up my boo-boo. Blake checked on my and then scolded Mr.Sexist.

Blah, Blah, Blah. Later on when we were watching movies again. He asked to put his arm around my should and of course I nodded (I didnt really trust myself to talk). But I ENDED UP FALLIN ASLEEP LIKE A DUMBASS! I felt so back because his arm was stuck like that for TWO AND A HALF HOURS. He said it was cool but stilll. Eventually, we talked it out and thought it would be best if we stayed friends since we live so far away from each other (Like 5 hours apart)

We’ve known each other a little over a year now. We used to text almost everyday. You know the talks where you just chat about everything and nothing. We had those a bunch. We facetimed a few times. He use to talk about how cute I am and tease me and stuff.

 Since we both graduated thing year we’ve been a bit busy lately. He got accepted into the Air Force, which it amazing. He even said how he would write me letters while we was away. I plan to go to college in a town which is coincidently near to where he lives. He invited me to go on a hiking trip before he leaves. And I really want to go. I’d have to drive like 5 hours to see him, but I would in a heart beat. 

I still get the signals he likes me, and I like him back. But I dont know if it’s because he’s the first decent boy to show me attention without being a total creep. I want to think it’s cause I genuinely  like him. I know that any person who has him will be lucky. He’s just great.

I dont know if I should hold out hope that someday we could make things work. Like I said before I’m going to college close to where his family lives. So when he visits them we may be able to meet up.

I do feel like I’m jumping the gun a bit though. I mean he could probably meet a really nice girl in the Air Force and forget about me. I do think it would be smart to focus on my school work during college. I don’t even know what to do in a relationship anyways. I dont know what to do in general. 

I do really like the fact that he asked before he did anything with me and stood up for me. That was very considerate. 

I’d take any advice anyone has to give!

Sorry for the long ass speech.

[tinysatansierra-blog]

Markiplier manor is toxic here’s why

So Markiplier manor (Markipliers official discord server) has gotten a surplus of new people in it, this happened a few weeks ago the manor itself though has been up for awhile. originally a members only server it was eventually opened up for everyone and yes there are alot of genuinely good people and the mods are alright but unfortunately its becoming a toxic environment. 

SO EDIT i have discussed with the mods that being said ... im keeping this up as a reminder of we can do better we can help people who are struggling through something instead of shutting them down we can listen to people who are being oppressed and bravely point out new media that only worsens that oppression and stigmatization and not just the mods who i was kind of harsh towards but who are human everyone as a community can do better and this is a large community think of the work we can do just doing the basics like boycotting problematic content and helping those who cry out for it who need it (and noticing and shutting down manipulative/toxic behaviors) ... i dont know if im going to go back to the manor yet tho im going to let this sit give it a week yall can agree or disagree but know that if you try to be an ass your going to get shut down and your feelings are going to get hurt 

lets start with the basics “triggering topics” triggering topics can be anything in particular but it generally means a topic that relates to another persons trauma. Now while it is important to acknowledge a persons trigger words and try to keep the conversation respectable ive also noticed people use it to shut down people who come on freaking out because their dealing with a stressful situation/something traumatic just happened. This has happened to me personally and to a friend with me it was about being pro choice and having to in short make that actual choice. i was discussing this in the bathroom because i (like anyone else who comes in with baggage) did not know about any pro choice discords at that moment and was afraid of being stigmatized or going onto a discord that says its a safe space only for it to be filled with trolls. Mark manor is labeled as a safe space and many people come on there looking for support with me no one told me that the topic was triggering to them (which apparently it was because a friend of theirs had to make the choice not her herself think what you will) they just went to a mod early on when i just found the server as a member a friend (who i wont name) had gotten.... assaulted majority of her werent online and as someone who has been there and yes when she told me it did trigger my own trauma she needed moral support... the mod shut her down and deleted her comments and didnt give her a pointer to any other discord where she could discuss the topic openly and get moral support and be pointed to resources (it actually took me ten minutes to find and confirm a lgbtq therapy chat earlier this year for another individual discussing mental health) this was before i had gotten on for that day but i noticed those messages and i contacted her when she told me what was up yea it triggered my memories and its not fun but I FUCKING HELPED HER i made sure she went to the police to atleast file a statement (while the police dont always help it is good to have it on file) i even made her a plush and shipped it out to her and i would do it again and again because its not good to basically tell another person to shut up because it triggers others not without atleast trying to help them find another fucking place and making sure their actually ok and in a physical safe place  next is them claiming the manor is a “safe space” a safe space is by definition  “ a place or environment in which a person or category of people can feel confident that they will not be exposed to discrimination, criticism, harassment, or any other emotional or physical harm.” you would also think that the manor would be a safe space in the fact that marginalized and oppressed groups of people would be able to point out problematic content and have an open and free discussion about it and how it makes them uncomfortable. especially people of lgbtq community which alot of people in that chat are. yesterday (and this was what caused me to officially turn away from the server) in the patio (which is the members only chat) a Transgender individual pointed out the problematic content that is huniepop and how it fetishizes trans people as well as other minorities now this game i hear tries to make itself out as a “parody” .... its not its a sexual dating sim what would make it a parody is if sex noises were replaced with donkey sounds and the lewd pictures were replaced with poorly drawn doodles of tits or what have you its a game for incels marks hilarious when he plays it because he doesnt take the game seriously my issue isnt with him its with the developer. and if you did not know (which apparently people dont) the character poli is described as “a girl with a dick” the individual pointed this out because they felt like it dehumanizes them and paints them as nothing more than a fetish... and also apparently you can “choose” is poli is trans which kind of gives off the message that people can ignore trans peoples identity if it makes them uncomfortable... or if they dont sexualize them. and the muslim community is more or less in the same boat i come from the bible belt in usa im not muslim i am not trans but i do have a reason for standing with both and i will get to that in a bit so i was raised in a christian household in a christian setting like muslim women were basically told we cannot have sex and any sexual thought is sinful and we will be punished blah blah blah your even more closeted if your gay or bi because then you can face ... violence that being said to make the woman from the middle east hyper sexual like they did is kind of shitty even for a incel pleasing sex game. the individual who thought it would be ok to discuss this in the server because its labeled as a safe space and is generally “lgbtq” friendly thus believing he would have people agree and discuss ... was unceremoniously shut down by their peers and a mod was notified this person was not hostile maybe a bit frustrated because he wanted to talk about it and thought he would have this genuinely helpful conversation and people would listen and spread the word because to have problematic content be popular can isolate the oppressed group even more so WHEN NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO THEM. if a group of marginalized people notice something problematic with content and you claim to be an ally of said group then you need to acknowledge and support what they say. they told him to go to twitter where he could potentially be bullied and written off ... because again its an INCEL PLEASING SEX GAME.(which means incels if you ever dealt with them will go and say anything to justify the game even using slurs and bullying) and to put the icing on the cake to change the topic they brought up robin ... i actually dont know who robin is as i dont really focus much on youtube creators personal stuff (it feels off for me to not personally know an individual but know their personal stuff without having actually talking to them its weird i know its a thing i have in my head) but apparently they recently came out as female and good for them im super proud of him and the patio members were discussing how they were proud of him as well for beginning to wear makeup and making themselves more feminine which would be great if they werent trying so hard to shut down the trans male who was trying to spread awareness on problematic stuff .... something he pointed out ... and something they gaslighted and said he was being hostile. really its almost as if they only care about trans issues when its someone famous discussing them  so what can we possibly do about huniepop being transphobic and the answer is very easy BOYCOTT IT like... yall were up in arms and boycotted jk rowling with snap and a turn do we only cancel the old and ugly? do we only cancel those who we dont think is funny? mark is not at fault he probably doesnt realize it and any comments made on the issue are talked down upon or drowned amongst other comments im not saying to cancel him im saying to cancel the game HARD. ignore the posts bitch at the dev demand refunds for your game. like consumers have infinitely more power than corps want to admit.  so you basically have a community that claims to be a safe space but only if you want to talk about sunshine and rainbows and its highly hypocritical of them to claim safety.  another thing is emotionally abusive/manipulative people hide in the server and the mods dont ever seem to acknowledge it. i cannot tell you how many times ive gotten into arguments with people who seems nice then turn into assholes then claim to be the victim when i or others go off on them. if you recognize my name you know i dont stand down when it comes to having a snarky or rude comment thrown at me if your going to be an ass were fighting i dont care how nice you seemed beforehand and you dont get to call a mod just because i actually stood up for myself or others sorry not sorry dont be a bitch nuff said.  now why would i care so much about problematic content? why would i care and stand by the transgender and muslim people (aside from being ya know... an actual ally and not someone who claims it for sympathy and brownie points?) its because i am autistic i am also able to function well on my own but there is a movie created by the famous singer sia it is called music it is a movie frowned upon by the autisitic community because infantizes and dehumanizes non verbal autistic people i am fortunate and unfortunate in not having to deal with much stigma unfortunate because i wasnt diagnosed until i was 17 alot of answers about my behavior could have been answered if i had been diagnosed earlier but considering society loves the quiet timid female and i functioned “well” for neurotypicals i was ignored. so yea you bet your ass im standing with them and raising awareness about huniepop and their was this one person when i mentioned this point i cant remember there name nor to do i give a shit about them because when i mentioned how autistic people ... how i was in the same boat with music by sia (again i advise that no one target the actress who was under contract target sia and please boycott her so she knows she cant get brownie points or money for a movie that stigmatizes who she claims she wants to “help” (*cough* profit off of *cough cough*) and only serves as a feel good movie for neurotypicals and ignorant people)  they said “i heard people who hated the movie i heard people who found it alright people are ALLOWED to like problematic content” ... and like ... does anyone else see the problem here? its not hard at all to boycott celebrities for making content  and im going to repeat this point  IF A GROUP OF MARGINALIZED, STIGMITIZED AND OPPRESSED PEOPLE CALL OUT SOMETHING FOR BEING PROBLEMATIC AND YOU CLAIM TO BE AN ALLY YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM AND DONT SHUT THEM DOWN I DONT GIVE A SHIT YOU DONT HAVE A FUCKING EXCUSE. if you cant bring yourself to boycott a piece of media and replace it with the infinitely more suitable forms that supports the group you claim to be for your not an ally your a fucking hypocrite  and that is why i left markiplier manor i am still a youtube special ... thingy member and i will continue to be a member to support mark i want people to overall listen to those who speak up against a creator and a piece of media and listen to us all no matter how “good” something seems. .. also there is a video called listen it was created by nonverbal autistic people  and communicationFIRST a group that sia apparently communicated with for her movie... and then ignored  https://youtu.be/H7dca7U7GI8

[calliecat93]

Star Trek 2009... so... very mixed.

Let’s do the good first. The cinematography is really good. It FEELS like a futuristic time period moreso than TOS, but tbf the films have the advantage of being closer to modern day and being able to match the evolved times. Still, it’s very much a movie that wanted to look good and did. The acting for most pf the cast was good and I don’t have an issue with any of the reboot cast. No Chris Pine isn’t Shatner (and that’s a good thing) nor is Zachary Quinto Leonard Nimoy. But they and the others did their jobs well and I’m glad they all did their own thing and not just copy their predecessors. Simon Pegg as Scotty I really enjoyed amd I like his new friend XD And while I’m... mixed about the direction taken if only because it makes me sad, Leonard Nimoy returning as the Spock we’ve known or so long was lovely, especially when he and Quinto!Spock meet.

Some moments were good. I actually almost teared up when Kirk’s dad died because the actors just put so much emotion into it. I can’t say that there was no effort put into this. They tried to add emotion and meaning and depth. They tried to give Kirk and Spock (and yes, Bones being even MORE of a third wheel than normal REALLY pisses me off) depth and connect the audiences to them and form that connection with each other that we’re so familiar with. I respect that. I respect the effort. I’ve seen reboots that don’t give a damn, but it didn’t feel that way to me here especially with Nimoy!Spock showing that this may be different, but the original very much still exists.

That being said... I have some big issues, especially with Kirk. This is NOT James Tibirius Kirk. This is the pop culture depiction of Kirk that the filmmakers decided was better to go with than the actual character. And no, this being an alternate timeline and him being younger than in canon is NOT a valid excuse. I got told that the death of Kirk’s dad changed the course of history... but I fail to understand how THAT caused Kirk to be an arrogant, cocky, reckless idiot. Might be because his parents NEVER came up in the show so how can any TOS fans get that point if the show never went into it? I know I joke about Kirk doing something dumb, but TOS!Kirk was a perfectly smart, optimistic, level-headed individual who yeah WOULD go against Starfleet at times, but usually did so with good reason. Hell didn’t TOS say that he was overly serious int he academy amd lightened up as he got older? How did the timeline changes change that? Anyways! It felt like they wanted this Kirk to just be a standard action hero and didn’t bother to check if it fit the characterization, or do anything to justify the change aside from ‘different reality’. Like woth the Kobayashi Maru, it’s to emphasize Kirk’s cockiness here...when in WoK it emphasized Kirk’s optimism and hope. How he NEVER believed that there was a true no-win scenario. There was LWAYS a way. Don’t get me wrong, Kirk isn’t horrible and has the ability to become more like his TOS self, but first impressions are everything, and they failed here. Chris Pine was good though, I could actually picture how he played Steve Trevor in Wonder Woman fitting a Reboot Kirk pretty well but alas. Also his captaincy wasn’t earned nor is he mature enough to hold the position. It got handed to him because canon says so, and that is bullshit.

Spock was... fine. Far as characterization goes I don’t really have any issues. He’s not TOS Spock but again he shouldn’t be. It’s hard for me to find the words on how he’s different aside from being younger and seeming a little more resentful about the half-human, half-Vulcan thing, but it still works well enough. He and Sarek also seem on better terms in this continuity, and that I do like since it’s different, but consideirng the circumstances he needs that kind of solace and it allows exploration of their relationship in a more supportive light. Didn’t like Spock marooning Kirk like he did, but it does connect to his arc showing how emotional repression is affecting him, so ah well. I DO have issues with some of the directions taken though. His relationship with Uhura has no establishment nor development and comes across as being there for the sake of having a romance in there without the work. And no I’m not just saying that as a Spones/Spirk/McSpirk shipper. It WOULD have been fine if they actually WORKED ON DEVELOPING IT ON-SCREEN. And how did the timeline changes cause that when Uhura and him flirted like... once in TOS and it was one-sided on Uhura’s part anyways?! It sucks especially since I really like Reboot Uhura. I also don’t like them destroying Vulcan cause that feels like overkill on the angst, but at least they have an explanation for it. I DO however despise them killing Amanda and ESPECIALLY how they did it. Amanda is relegated tot he standard ‘pure hearted mom who we have to kill to hurt this character’ and considering how she died via a crumbling cliff just as transport started, the ‘changed timeline’ explanation is bull. Again I appreciate them trying to add more character stuff, but I very much disagree with the choices. But as far as the character himself is concerned, I was good with Spock andI did genuinely care for and feel bad for him.

Bones... oh baby you deserved so, SO much better. Characterization wise,he was the most like his TOS self. He comes across as more gruff than cranky,but that’s mainly due to Karl Urban being younger than DeForest Kelley. Otherwise he was funny, endearing, loyal to Jim, and Urban did a lovely job making the character his own but honoring his predecessor. Will also give them credit as Bones has a damn good reason to dislike Spock after he marooned Jim like he did. The film didnt give a damn about McCoy tbh, but we’ll get to that in a bit. But to put it short, I really liked Bones, but he REALLY needed more screentime which from what I can tell, isn’t gonna happen until Beyond. But as far as the character goes, I felt like they got his best though the lack of focus reason may very well be why that is. Very least I got fanon to satisfy my needs.

Now we get to my biggest criticism: The Triumvirate is non-existent here, nor does it form within the film. Again, I blame pop culture depiction as I imagine they went ‘we need Kirk and Spock to be close together and Bones is that guy who is Jim’s other best friend who has witty lines but ain’t Kirk and Spock so who cares?’. Which especially baffles me sonce the arguments Kirk and Spock have regaridng emotion? That’s MCCOY’S role. They got the Kirk and Spock relationship completely and utterly wrong. Nor do I feel like the film dod enough to form the relationship between the two. It just feels like they became friends because the plot said so, not out of genuine understanding and care. Kirk was one of, if not the first to accept Spock for who he was and respect him. That’s what made the relationship special. But their edforts to establish it here just fall flat because they made Kirk Spock’s opposite, aka McCoy’s role. McCoy is the one who challenges Spock. The one who pushes him to consider the emotional. He can be harsh, but it is a dynamic that worked. Kirk os their balance. The one who keeps the two in check and they in turn represented the two sides (mind and heart) that he (the body/soul) needed to make the proper decisions. But because of the choices made with Kirk and Bones, the balance is theown off. Spock is more or less fine but Bones loses his importance while Kirk has his character skewed to make it work. General audiences may not be able to tell, but as someone who just watched all of TOS and those films two weeks ago? I could, and it hurt the film significantly imo. Also kind of wish they emphasized that Spock ALSO needs Bones and the rest of the crew, not just Jim because emphasis on just one relationship ALWAYS annoys me, especially since again, they didn’t do well to form it here to begin with. So yeah they missed the aspect that made me love TOS, so needless to say I am displeased. I plan to do a full film review in the future so I won’t say how I’d improve it, especially since hindsight is 20/20, but yeah not happy.

Otherwise, the film is fine. Uhura, Scotty, Sulu,and Chekov are fine, the former two I especially enjoyed. The plot is fone. Nero is a boring villain but for a start, it’s okay. I didn’t like Vulcan’s destruction at alla nd what that means for Spock, but we’ll see how the other two films continue this. I don’t know how I feel about Prime Spock because it just makes me... depressed that he has to accept never going home (even if Bones and the others are dead it just feels... wrong) but I DO appreciate that they included Nimoy and he was just as fantastic as he had been all those years ago. I have so many problems with characterization and plot points, but tbf that’s from someone who just went through TOS. As far as a general audience goes, they likely won’t have that filter and some may be more of the ‘timeline changed so this stuff changed’ explanation than I, a media consumer who has seen this happen over and over again to varying degrees of success’, may be. Otherwise the film was fine. If you like action and want a blockbuster, this one is for you. But I’m in it for characterization and story and while the latter worked well enough in the general sense,t he former was severely lacking. So while it was okay and it got me excited/to laugh a few tomes, overall I didn’t care for the film. Will Into Darkness be any better? Well... from what I can tell no. But I also need to make my own judgements, so onward we go.

[the-sunshine-dims]

birds for birthdays

okay so its logan’s birthday still for me so have this birthday fic! 

words: 1807

ao3 link

Summary: Patton, roman, Virgil, and Janus, have a plan for Logan's birthday, and their plan, Logan doesn't even consider, instead thinking they just forgot his birthday, and Remus, whos not included in the plan gives Logan a bird.

contents and warnings: miscommunications, hurt Logan, slight hurt/comfort, possible pre-intrulogical, birds, repressing emotions, being overwhelmed,

if i missed anything again please tell me its late so i wouldnt be surprised if i missed something

____

Okay so patton and the others had a plan, and they were excited it was coming out how they wanted it to so far, 

distract Logan away from the commons and kitchen

Get logans gifts ready

Make sure it’s a total surprise for Logan

Of course they sadly had to exclude remus because it wasn’t an overreaction when they say he would immediately tell logan, he wouldn’t really mean to, but anything he thought about he would blurt out so sadly they had to hide it from remus too, though when Logan came down to be surprised he wasn’t gonna be excluded from that, he couldn't really ruin a surprise while the surprise is being revealed.

Patton smiled proudly at the three sides who had been getting ready in the living room, he was ecstatic he had even gotten Janus to help out.

___

Logan sighed as he tried to work, he knew technically they didn’t have birthdays, but it never stopped Patton from trying to celebrate perceived birthdays and, as he had told everyone before, this was one of the perceived birthdays, logan's first appearance on vine, and while he knew stuff was honestly kind of stressing because thomas got a new boyfriend and everyone was still healing from POF,

But.. he noticed quickly that he was looking forward to the birthday, as loud as it was going to be, but then as The day progressed no one even came to his room to even tell him happy birthday.

-which was fine. But still, it hurt, he was sure this was the date Patton made a celebration last year.. but no one seemed to even notice or care.

And as he tried to focus on literally anything productive and failed he realized with dimming hope that they had forgotten.. he couldn’t blame them, of course he couldn’t, he understand how hectic everything’s been and he wasn’t as selfish as to be mad, they had more important stuff to worry about then his ‘birthday’, afterall technically while they did sometimes have days they celebrated as such they weren't born and there was no way to tell when they formed so he didn't have a true birthday.

And After all, Logan didn’t have feelings so they probably assumed he wouldn’t mind if they didn’t forget and just didn’t want to acknowledge it.

He sighed again, louder, and slammed his head against the arms that were resting on his desk, this really shouldn’t bother him this much, it was fine.

He took a moment and just gave up on working, surely they wouldn’t mind if he just.. took a small break, just a short one, to rest up and just.. get his emotions in check before he had to go out of his room to get the papers he forgot on the counter, he groaned, why had he forgotten them on the counter? That was a dumb thing to do.

He took another moment and just decided that he can take a break day, the others really couldn’t blame him for needing one since they had taken a couple after the recent video, so he just decided to hell with it and after loosening his already looser than normal tie he just stood up and went over to rest on his bed, maybe he could read a book? He had recently gotten a promising looking book, so maybe that would be a good thing to do with his time.

He didn’t know why he still seemed to be.. disappointed? Was that the emotion? After a second he decided he didn’t care, but he was still confused, why would he be affected? It was fine.

He groaned before startling as he heard a loud repetitive banging on his door, and after a moment he quickly got up and fixed his hair and tie before going to the door and opening it slightly, revealing a grinning remus with hands behind his back, which was slightly worrying knowing remus, and also confusing because if he had both his hands behind his back how did he knock- but, of course Logan wasn’t gonna be rude and instead just offered a small polite smile before asking “do you need anything?” 

Remus frowned at that, “no I don’t need anything- but! I wanted to congratulate the birthday boy~” he told him, and while there was definitely some underlying crude massage Logan didn't get he could tell Remus was trying hard to make sure it stayed underlying and wasn't blatant so he wouldn’t end up making Logan uncomfortable.

Which Logan did appreciate, he.. really didn’t think he would be able to handle a lot of crude stuff right now, which he was kinda disappointed in himself for since that was a lot of the stuff remus spouted unless remus worked 100% to make sure he didnt end up accidentally saying something like that , but regardless, he was happy at least someone knew it was his side appointed birthday, he knew it didn’t matter but still, it made him feel better and as Remus quickly brought the sloppily wrapped present from behind his back his heart dropped as a thought entered his head.

Was remus the only one who remembered?

Remus and Logan weren’t that close, they were all still getting used to each other, so the idea that Remus, who wasn’t close to Logan, was the only one who remembered his ‘birthday’ was saddening, the people who were supposed to be his friends.. they forgot, they didn’t care.

He schooled his expression and made sure remus couldn’t tell the thoughts going through his head, so he just allowed himself to smile as Remus loudly encouraged him to open up the gift, and after a moment or two he began to, he was happy if at least one person cared enough- he heard a small chirp from the box and he froze and turned to remus “..did you give me a bird?” 

Remus grinned minically and motioned for him to keep opening it, which he did and he found an adolescent crow or raven, he couldn’t tell yet, but it was definitely a bird, it was surprising it looked pretty normal- he put his finger near it and it’s face opened up like a demogorgon, okay that made since, not normal, but he smiled as he gingerly picked the thing up, it looked like it was old enough to be away from the parents which was good, after a moment he looked to remus “thank you remus.”

Remus seemed happy as he came to the conclusion that Logan indeed in fact like the gifted bird, “no problem dork!” He said happily before continuing “also if you need anything for the bird just tell me,” 

Logan nodded and after deciding screw it he just opened the door up more and went “would you wanna hang out with me and the bird for a bit?” 

Remus perked up and nodded eagerly, and Logan smiled softly before heading fully into his room and setting the box down, the chick along with it, after a second of checking Over his shoulder to make remus came in he closed the door and gathered some books from his shelf about birds, specifically ravens and crows and just birds of the like before sitting down on the floor leaning his back against his bed.

Remus happily chatted as he sat down on the bed, above his shoulder, occasionally asking Logan questions that didn’t relate at all to the topic at hand as Logan researched what the raven or crow would need, especially at this young stage.

It was maybe an hour or so later, Logan has accepted that the others had just not cared enough to remember and while it.. hurt.. he just decided it wasn’t worth it to be upset about it, after all he now had a bird to take care of and possibly a new friend, so everything was fine.

Then he heard Patton calling for him saying that someone got hurt and they needed his help and just hearing that they needed his help and someone might be hurt and on reflex he got up, quickly pulling Remus up as well before practically running down stairs because what if they were really hurt.

And then suddenly as he practically flung himself down the stairs with remus following he heard a loud “surprise!” From a bunch of voices and then there was confetti everywhere and he just froze, slowly processing everything and slowly becoming overwhelmed from the fact they hadn’t forgotten and he was wrong and also the loud sudden sounds were adding to him becoming overwhelmed.

And after a full moment of silence he realized he should respond so he just went “oh-“ and then he noticed that there were tears falling down his cheeks and he just saw everyone begin to panic and even Remus seemed extremely confused and concerned and after a moment logan just quietly goes “they didn’t forget..” to himself.

Which they seemed to of heard because he hears patton make a heartbroken noise and remus, deciding that he’s going to try and help his new friend out, just kinda goes in front of him to be in between him and the others and kind of hesitantly opens his arms, which, Logan happily collapsed into, much to remus’s surprised, no matter who it was logan wanted the support and after another silence the others approached and Logan just kind of hid away.

Causing even Janus to look sympathetic before Patton kinda just went “you.. thought we forgot?” Sadly and when Logan nodded Patton made another hurt noise “oh lo, I’m so sorry I should’ve.. I should’ve realized that not addressing it made it seem like we forgot, I’m so sorry.” Patton said genuinely.

Logan just went “it’s fine” quietly and Patton shook his head.

“No, it’s not fine, we should’ve actually made sure not to make you think we forgot, we should've made sure that you knew we care enough to remember, i should’ve.” he paused before deciding that while its good to admit mistakes it wouldn't make the birthday any better so after a second he continued “so what about this, let’s watch a movie, whichever movie you want, and it’ll be quieter and we can give you our gifts, hows that sound?” Patton asked, his tone a tad hopeful.

Logan nodded, pulling himself away from remus’s hug, though still holding on slightly to remus, having decided this was his emotional support side now, and after a second everyone walked logan to the couch where he picked out a movie and and after a bit turned off the lights for the person to come in with the cake.

And honestly now he kind of understood why he was so sad when he thought they forgot.

[story-time-with-rei]

How I discovered I was a Monster Fucker ™

M!monster under the bed x f!reader

I lay there in the sweltering heat of the summer night as I listen to the rain. Suddenly, I feel the familiar bump under my bed and I smile to myself as I drop my arm off the edge of the bed. My fingers interlace with the long and sharp talons of my oldest and dearest friend, Dax.

"You've grown so much, little one..." Comes his low rumbling voice. The statement makes me laugh as I remember back to the first time I had met Dax. It had been one of those summer nights when both my parents had to work, and my baby sitter was too preoccupied with her friends to realize how terrified I was of the raging storm. While they watched some cheesy horror movie, I hid in a ball under my bed.

At first this was just a spot to hide from the storm but as the storm raged I felt something small, about the size of a bunny, snuggle up against my side and begin trembling. When ever I looked there was nothing there but the sweet innocent voice of a child would tell me to stop trying to see him. Instead, I reached to blindly hug at the being. He had been just as scared of the storm as I had been, and his presence was a welcome comfort even if I wasn't allowed to see him.

As the years went on, I would squeeze my growing frame under whatever bed I had, any time there was a storm, and eventually, any time I was bored. The child's voice had introduced himself as Daxum Noctis and explained that he had been assigned to be my monster. At the time I thought that meant he went through some company or something, but in time -once I was old enough to understand the meaning- he explained it was more like soulmates, for monsters.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts by the sounds of his claws scraping on the hardwood floor under my bed. The sounds left no trace other than the goose bumps formed on my bare flesh. I was no child anymore, and my thoughts of my friend had begun to shift in my late teen years, around the time of his voice change and final growth. The way he shook my bed when he came into my world, the way his voice reverberated in my head and chest when he spoke so sweetly to me, it began to excite me differently.

"Little one you are awfully quiet today, is something wrong?" Dax asks after I've fallen silent in my thoughts. I set up and look over the edge of the bed before quietly asking a question I've asked a thousand times, knowing I'll get the same answer.

"Dax...why won't you let me see you?"

"Why do you ask again, little one? You would fear me and I value your love more than your fear." He calmly explains, earning a huff from me. I roll over in bed and face my wall, where my bed sets in a corner.

"Do you really have THAT little faith in me Dax...you're my closest friend...and maybe I kinda like you." I mumble grumpily. I was not prepared for the feeling of my bed shifting as Dax pulled himself up onto the bed from underneath.

I stayed still, eyes wide as I watched his shadow on the wall beside me. I stayed looking ahead as he wrapped his arms around my bare stomach and I closed them when I felt him nuzzle my neck, tusks or fangs or something hard drawing across the skin lightly. I flinched slightly as I felt a long thick snake like tail coliling around my legs and holding me flush against him.

"You are quite stubborn aren't you little one?" He rumbles against my back. "You are also still very childish, seriously "maybe I kinda like you"" he mocks playfully, earning a laugh and an elbow jab from me as I try to sqwirm a little. "You are also quite beautiful and....currently quite naked. Why didnt you say something before I came up here?"

"I didn't know you were coming up you dork!" I laugh again, settling comfortably in his arms and playing idly with the feathers on the back of his large hand. He sighs contently when I stop struggling, and hugs me a little tighter, drawing a gasp from me as his hand cups my breast.

"Little one, you know I have loved you for quite some time now, right?" He rumbles against my neck, showing that sweet venerability that he always tries to hide. I nod against his jaw where he's moved it to rest on the side of my face.

"And I've loved you, I just...can't go any further without seeing you. You see me all the time I just...want to see who I love. Gods, when I say it out loud it sounds so selfish I'm sorry Dax." I say, awkwardly laughing since focus isn't something I'm good at when rough fingers are idly pinching and tugging at my sensitive nipple.

"If I show you, will you promise to still love me...?" He asks after a few moments of idly torturing me. I eagerly nod and gasp out a breathy yes, as I press back against him, his ministrations having worked me up quite badly.

I whine as he stops, arms and tail slowly untangling from me as his weight causes the bed to creak a bit. I pout and hug myself before I hear the words I never expected to hear from him.

"You can look at me, little one." His voice is softer, almost afraid. It breaks my heart and sets it aflutter at the same time. I carefully set up and turn to face where his voice had come from, before slowly opening my eyes and looking towards the man I had grown up with. I gasped softly, not out of fear but out of realization that I was clearly what people on the internet called a monster fucker.

Before stood an all black figure. Torso was generally human shaped save for the long claws on his fingers. He was strong and covered in inky black feathers save for around his eyes and mouth. His eyes were a brilliant gold that showed even in the dim light of the street lamps outside. He had long black hair that cascaded down his back to his waist where his torso melted into a thick and shiny snake tail. Each black scale was akin to the night sky on a clear day, lights reflecting off his tail gave the illusion of stars sparkling all over his lower half.

I reach my arms out to him and smile with genuine love and affection in my voice as I laugh softly "you're such a dork, get over here and finish what you started!" He grins, sharp and surely deadly fangs glistening in the sudden flash of lightning. In the same flash, he was on me, and I knew storms would no longer frighten either of us as my best friend became my lover.