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eddiemunsonswhxre · 2 years ago

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little bean / eddie munson (you're the reason pt. 3)

masterlist

you're the reason mini series (part three)

part one , part two

cw: female reader, fluff, some angst, lots of cursing, pregnancy, mentions but not descriptions of birth, supportive best friends, so much cuteness, probably one of my fav things i've ever written, also over 10k words, not the last part

you and eddie handle your pregnancy

notes: this takes place in an alternate universe where the upside down doesn't exist, the byers never moved, el doesn't have powers, etc. i did a little research on how pregnancy/doctors appointments went in the 80s because it's much different than today but i also know some things are going to be wrong. but i do know for certain ultrasounds weren't a thing yet, and if they were it was extremely rare. i'm also fairly certain i messed up the timeline somewhere but it confused me too much to figure it out so...

12 weeks

eddie ran his hand through his hair as he left his fourth therapy appointment. it’d been a month since you had your talk, and as he said he would, the next day he scheduled appointments to see a therapist once a week. he actually felt as though they were benefitting and he was proud to tell you that. he’d also gotten a factory job to start making money for the baby. it wasn’t hard work, he had good hours, and it paid well. he felt like things were really going to work out.

you had just hit your twelve week mark and were starting to really feel some pregnancy symptoms. regardless, you picked up a part time job at the local pharmacy and did some knitting in your free time to sell. the only people who knew so far were the two of you, your employer, your grandma, and wayne. that was partially because you were scared of how your friends would react. you also had your first appointment today. you were more than ecstatic to hear your baby’s heartbeat for the first time. you and eddie hadn’t been together too much, only meeting up to talk about updates and otherwise talking on the phone.

but, you wouldn’t have him miss this appointment for the world. he was the father, and you loved him. you already knew based on his success so far that you would take him back, you just wanted to be extra sure. he was on his way to pick you up right now and you were struggling to find clothes to wear. everything wasn’t fitting anymore and you couldn’t rationalize spending money on maternity clothes until absolutely nothing fit. you huffed in annoyance and finally decided on a long black skirt that just managed to hide your bump. you paired it with a pink blouse and slipped on some flats. you looked less like yourself, but you didn’t want the doctor to think you were some dumb teenager who had no idea what she was doing (even though you were…).

you heard your grandma open the door and eddie greet her. after convincing your grandma he was genuine about changing, she welcomed him back into the family with open arms. eddie knocked on your open door, smiling as he watched you brush on some make up. “hey, mama,” he snickered, crossing his arms.

you rolled your eyes but smiled at him. “i am not calling you daddy,” you mumble, applying mascara to your lashes.

“oh, you wound me,” he playfully scoffs, pushing off the door and walking to you. “turn around, lemme see my little bean,” he says, making grabby hands. you chuckle, putting down the tube of mascara and turning. you smooth your skirt down to showcase your bump causing eddie to gasp and his smile to widen. “baby’s getting so big,” he coos, sinking to his knees and putting his hands on your stomach.

your lip quivers as you watch eddie place a kiss to your stomach. “hi, little one,” he says, caressing your stomach as he talks to the baby. “i hope you’re being good for mommy and stop making her all sick,” he murmurs, talking as if you’re not even there. “mommy and daddy are going to listen to your little heartbeat for the first time today, gonna get to hear how strong you are,” he continues, littering kisses over your stomach. you sniffle causing eddie to look up at you as you wipe away some tears. he stands up immediately and grabs ahold of your waist with one hand and your cheek with the other. “what? what’s wrong?” he asks, eyes searching yours frantically.

you let out a small laugh and wave him off before taking a deep breath and wrapping your arms around him. “that was just so cute,” you mumble, holding him tightly.

eddie relaxes at your words and a soft smile covers his face. he wraps his arms around you, holding you gently and placing his lips to the top of your head. “hormones really getting to ya, huh?” he asks, stroking your back. you nod, enjoying the feeling of being in his arms. “well, i got a couple parenting and pregnancy books from the thrift store and they say that talking to your baby before they’re born can help strengthen your bond with them. and i don’t know… i’m kind of scared that i won’t be a good dad so i figured i’d get a head start,” eddie admits and you let out another cry, causing him to pull you away from his chest and look at you in mild alarm.

“you bought pregnancy books?” you ask, your heart swelling. he wipes your tears off your cheeks to try and avoid ruining your makeup and nods. you pout. “that’s adorable,” you mumble, wanting to cry more. god damn you hormones. after another moment your eyebrows furrow. “wait, eddie, you’re gonna be a great dad. you’re already proving that,” you say, sniffling as your tears finally stop.

eddie shrugs and looks away from you. “just don’t wanna turn out like-”

“you’re not your father, don’t even go there,” you reassure softly, kissing his cheek. eddie closes his eyes as he tries to let it soak in. “come on, let’s go listen to our baby’s heart beat,” you say and eddie nods. you take his hand and squeeze it before leading him out of your room.

your appointment went well, and let’s just say the both of you had multiple tears when you heard the heartbeat for the first time. you also found out your due date was february 10th, and having that day made it seem so much more real.

15 weeks

it was currently 9:03pm and you were suffering. your stomach was killing you due to your muscles stretching to make room for the baby and you were having a killer headache. you grumbled, grabbing the phone off your wall and dialing eddie’s phone number. it rang five times before he picked up. “hello?” he spoke. you could hear some type of movie blaring in the background.

“hey, it’s me,” you breathe, squeezing your eyes shut. a particularly painful stab shots through your muscles that sends tears to your eyes.

you hear the tv turn down in the background. “what’s up? something wrong?” he asks, hiding his worry as to not cause you to further panic if you were having a problem.

a few tears fall from your eyes as you rub the side of your stomach. “are you busy?” you ask, swallowing down the lump that was forming in your throat.

“no, why?” eddie answers, knowing you weren’t calling just to talk.

you let out a small whimper that has eddie’s heart rate picking up. “i’m sorry to even bother you, but do you think you could bring me some tylenol? i-i ran out yesterday and i’m in so much pain,” you ask, pushing on your stomach to get some type of relief.

eddie frowns as he can hear the pain in your voice. “yeah, no problem, babe. i’ll go pick some up, lay down okay? i’ll be fast,” he answers, leaning over to grab his wallet from the counter.

you nod, biting your lip as a piercing pain goes through your temple. “you don’t need to rush, thank you so much,” you say, not wanting to inconvenience him too much.

“oh hush, i’ll be there in a few. bye babe,” he says. you whisper a goodbye back and then he hangs up. you don’t comment on the fact he called you babe, to be honest you had missed it. you huff, walking back over to your bed and laying on your back. tears fall from your eyes as you close them and hold the sides of your stomach to try and relieve some pain.

it takes eddie approximately eleven minutes to run to the gas station and get to your house. he slips inside with the key you had given him, not wanting to make you get out of bed since your grandma was already in her room watching some crime show. he makes his way down the hall and to your room. he knocks before pushing it open slowly, peaking in to make sure you were okay with him coming in. the sight in front of him makes his heart hurt. “oh, y/n,” he mumbles, closing your door behind him and speed walking over to you. you give him a small smile and push yourself into a sitting position.

“thank you, eddie,” you murmur, hand resting on your growing stomach.

eddie sits next to you on the bed and begins grabbing things from the bag. “here’s your tylenol,” he starts, handing you the box. “then i got you some strawberry milk since you like it so much, oh and some chocolate and a bag of chips,” he said, laying it all out between you.

you smile and lean over to give him a hug. “thanks,” you say quietly, resting your head on his shoulder.

he wraps one arm around you, rubbing your upper arm and placing a kiss to your temple. “no problem,” he whispers back, looking down at you with eyes full of love.

you pull away so you can take some tylenol and eddie watches. you look at the chocolate bars and chips he had brought you as you tried to decide. finally, you chose on the hershey bar. “my wallet is on my vanity, take however much this was,” you say, pointing to your vanity haphazardly.

eddie shakes his head, pursing his lips. “nah, i got it, don’t worry,” he says, rubbing his thighs with his palms. you frown but he just gives you a warning look. “do you wanna lay back down or what? what’s gonna help you feel the best?” he asks, turning to face you more.

you take another bite of chocolate as you think. “can i ask something that might cross a line?” you ask shyly. eddie furrows his brows but nods anyway. “can we cuddle?” you whisper, avoiding eye contact.

eddie chuckles and starts to kick his shoes off. “yeah, y/n, we can cuddle,” he laughs at you, pulling his leather jacket off as well before crawling up towards your headboard. “how do you want me?” he asks, looking back at you.

“can i lay between your legs?” you mumble, cheeks hot. eddie laughs at you lightly and sits against the headboard.

he moves his legs apart and pats his chest. “come here,” he says with a smile. you comply, slowly making your way up to him. you groan in pain as you twist yourself to sit down. you lean your back against eddie’s chest, head resting just below his shoulder. your knees are propped up as eddie wraps his arms around to rest on your stomach. you break off a piece of chocolate and hold it behind you, looking up to watch him eye it. “you’re sure?” he asks with a smirk. you roll your eyes fondly before nodding and he eats it from your fingers.

“she’s killing me already,” you sigh, eating another piece of chocolate.

eddie raises his brows and looks down at you. “she? you think we’re having a girl?” he asks, lightly rubbing his hands over your stomach.

you shrug, realizing you hadn’t yet told him this theory. “i don’t know. i’ll be happy with either of course, but something is just telling me it’s a little girl,” you say, rubbing your stomach lovingly. “you think it’s gonna be a boy?” you ask, leaning your head back to look at him.

“uh, i don’t know. i think i want a girl though,” he says, looking into your eyes.

you smile, that was sweet. “why? if you don’t mind me asking,” you shrug once more. you throw the empty chocolate bar wrapper into the trash can next to your bed.

eddie, sighs as he thinks. “just want a little girl to spoil, i guess. a little princess,” he speaks dreamily. “of course i’d love a boy too,” he adds, looking back to you. “what do you want?” he asks.

you hum, looking down at your bump. “i don’t even care, just want them to be healthy,” you respond. eddie nods and gives you a smile.

“yeah, especially that,” he agrees.

the two of you sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes until you decide to just ask him. “eddie?” you question. he hums in response, telling you to continue. “do you think… we could get back together now?” you hesitate. eddie freezes for a moment in shock.

you feel him tense, and frown. maybe you should’ve waited a bit more. “well, i guess that’s really up to you. i’m gonna love you no matter how soon or how long you wait to take me back,” eddie finally answers and you feel your heart swell.

“i’ve really been thinking about it for the past week. i knew i wanted to wait until i felt like you’d gotten a good grasp of things and i didn’t know if it was just my hormones making me want to do it now or if it’s truly what i wanted. i’ve realized that it isn’t just my hormones, and if you can tell me you think you’ve gotten a handle on your anger and what not then yeah, i wanna be back together with you,” you explain, playing with his fingers.

eddie smiles, feeling his heart warm with joy. “i’m not gonna lie, sometimes i do get really mad still. my therapist says i always will. but i haven’t blown up on anyone and i feel like i do honestly know how to control it now or handle it in a healthy way,” eddie responds and you smile.

you look back to meet his eyes and twist slightly. “then i’m glad to have you back,” you say and waste no time pressing your lips against his.

16-19 weeks (spreading the news)

over the next couple weeks, you and eddie had decided to finally start telling others about your pregnancy. you’d been keeping to yourself mostly so it wasn’t hard to hide but they definitely knew something was up. they knew about your fight and that you were taking a break, but had no clue about the pregnancy.

right now, you were on your way to eddie’s practice with his band to tell them. he figured they should be one of the firsts, because him being a dad was going to affect them too. “you nervous?” eddie asked, pulling into gareth’s driveway. you nod, looking into the garage at the three guys setting up their instruments. eddie grabs your hand, bringing your knuckles to his lips and pressing a kiss to them. “it’ll be fine, i’m sure they’ll be excited,” he comforts, trying to will away the nerves in your eyes.

you take a deep breath nodding and giving him a tight lipped smile before getting out. eddie decided to let you do this however you wanted to. and he would admit, your idea was pretty cute. you stretched your back as eddie grabbed his guitar from the back, waving to the guys as he came up to you. “showtime,” eddie muttered, kissing your head before grabbing your hand and leading you towards the guys.

“y/n, what’s up? long time no see,” gareth smiled, walking over and pulling you into a half hug.

you smile, hugging him back with one arm as jeff approaches you. “life’s been a little crazy lately. luckily, i think me and eddie got things under control,” you joke, giving eddie a genuine smile as jeff pulls you into his side as well. ricky waved from afar, never being the type for physical contact.

“mm, we can only hope,” eddie mumbles, squeezing your hand before walking over to set up his guitar.

gareth goes to get you a chair from the top of his garage as jeff walks with you towards ricky. “here to listen to us practice?” ricky asks, tuning his guitar as he gave you a small smile, his yellow teeth a bit too on display.

you looked to eddie for reassurance and he nodded, biting his lip to hide his excited smile. “yeah, eddie and i thought it would be best to get the little one started early,” you explain, stepping back and turning to the side. you smooth down your shirt, which was really one of eddie's (even though it was way too big to fit him normally), to reveal your bump.

there’s a loud noise as gareth drops the chair he was getting for you, it messily clattering to the ground. “woah, you’re pregnant?” jeff asks, stepping to the side to further inspect your bump. you laugh, pulling up eddie’s shirt to rest on top of your bump so they could get a better look.

“holy fuck. shit, wow, oh my god, munson you’re gonna be a dad?” gareth mumbles, rushing over and squatting down to look at your swollen stomach. he throws confused glances towards eddie who was chuckling while also looking at your bump in fascination.

eddie walks over, placing a hand on your back and smiling proudly. “yep, best daddy out there,” he said slyly, nodding at the guys.

ricky’s face scrunches up in disgust, “never call yourself daddy again.” all of you laugh as gareth asks if he can touch your stomach.

you let him of course and watching his face is like watching a small child on christmas. “there’s a little baby on the other side of my hands right now, woah,” he says with a smile. jeff shoves him out of the way to get his turn. you watch the guys fondly talk about the baby, agreeing that he or she would automatically be the biggest fan of their band and talking about everything they’d do together.

the next people you wanted to tell were steve and robin. you had made the guys promise not to tell anyone else about the pregnancy since you guys wanted to do it all yourselves. after leaving his rehearsal that day, you gushed to eddie about how excited you were to tell everyone else. so, you went right home and called robin and steve to set up a hang out the next day.

eddie and you were sitting in a booth at the diner, waiting for robin and steve to arrive and get lunch. eddie was nervously tapping his rings against the table while you scanned the menu, trying to decide which of the delicious foods you were going to actually get. “hun, why are you so nervous?” you ask, glancing up from the menu.

he bites his lip, looking over to you. he shrugs, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. “i just feel like your friends don’t like me that much, i’m just scared of what they’ll think,” he explains, moving his hand down to rest on your thigh.

you shake your head and place a kiss to his cheek. “i promise you that you’re worrying too much. robin and steve do like you, steve’s just weird,” you say and pat his cheek, causing him to laugh. the bell rings, signaling someone had entered the diner and you both look up to see exactly who you were waiting for. you smiled as robin’s eyes met yours and you began to wave her over. she dragged steve along, them sliding into the booth across from you.

despite eddie’s worries, the four of you fell into easy conversation until it was time for you to order. steve ordered a double cheese burger, robin ordered chicken tenders (because of course she would), and eddie had gotten a bacon cheeseburger. normally, you were the type to get a salad or chicken tenders because you didn’t have the biggest appetite. so you could expect steve and robin’s reaction when you started listing off your order. “can i get a double cheeseburger with bacon, oh, can i do that? awesome. um and then can i actually get cheese fries instead of normal fries. and uh, eds do you think onion rings would be okay? yeah, i’ll take those too. oh! and can i please get a strawberry milkshake, thank you so much,” you rattle off, smiling as you hand the waitress your menu. she smiles, giving you a knowing look and walks away.

steve and robin eye you, robin being a lot more subtle as eddie tries to hold back his laugh. steve’s jaw is literally dropped as you sip on your sprite. “y/n, are you sure you can eat that much food? like… not trying to be mean but you never eat like that,” steve wonders. he groans in pain when robin slaps him upside the head and gives him a warning look.

eddie smiles, wrapping his arm around you as you two make eye contact. you nod, giving him the go ahead. “hey, she’s eating for two, cut her some slack,” he jokes with raised brows, watching robin and steve’s eyes widen.

they look at each other before their eyes flip between the both of you. “two?” robin stutters, looking at you in disbelief.

you let out a giggle and lean into eddie’s side. “wait, wait, wait, wait… you’re eating for… no…” steve gasps, his eyes falling to your hand as you place it on your stomach that he could now see was prominent.

robin squeals, throwing her hands up and then flinging them across the table to grab yours. “oh my gosh, you’re pregnant?” she gasps, tears filling her eyes. you pout, tears filling your own as you see her reaction.

steve smiles at you, his own eyes watering, before giving eddie a look. eddie purses his lips until steve holds out his hand, gesturing for eddie to shake it. he smiles, doing just that before looking back to you and robin. “we’re gonna have a baby in february,” you confirm, tears falling from your eyes as you look at eddie lovingly.

“steve, we need to start picking up more shifts so we can buy stuff,” robin says pointedly and steve rolls his eyes.

he looks at you with a smile on his face, one of the most genuine ones you’d ever seen him carry. “you guys ready for this? if you need any help we gotcha. i know i say i hate babysitting, but i will be all over this kid,” he laughs and you wipe tears from your eyes at his words.

“this kid is gonna have the best uncle robin and aunt steve,” eddie coos jokingly, causing steve’s eyebrows to furrow.

“i think you got that mix-”

“ah! i said what i said, harrington,” eddie says, pointing a finger at him. the three of you laugh as steve rolls his eyes, not finding it in him to actually be annoyed.

robin and steve had promised not to tell anyone until you gave them the go ahead. so, a week later eddie was trying to come up with what he thought would be the hardest one. dustin.

“i don’t see why you can’t just tell him straight out,” you say, huffing as you try to clasp your bra behind your back. eddie shakes his head, coming up behind you and taking the band from your hands.

you let your hands fall to your sides as you look in the mirror. you had a shift today at the pharmacy that you were getting ready for while eddie was entering the panic stage. you were standing in just your underwear and your bra, watching eddie’s concentrated face over your shoulder as he hooked the bra together. he wrapped his arms around you when he finally got it, resting his head on your shoulder while running his hands over your belly. “it’s dustin, it’s harder than that,” he hums, the feeling of you against him calming him down.

you sigh, resting your hands on top of eddie’s. “what about mike, lucas, and will? you’re not so nervous about telling them,” you wonder, looking into his eyes through the mirror.

eddie closes his eyes and then buries his face into the crook of your neck. “dustin is more… attached to me i guess, i don’t know,” he murmurs into your neck.

“yeah, well he’s also attached to steve, i think it’s his lack of father figur-” you start.

“he definitely likes me more than steve,” he interrupts and you roll your eyes.

you reach your hand back and place it on the back of his head, massaging his scalp. “you said you were going to go look at a couple different stores around for crib prices and other stuff. why don’t you take him with you? then you won’t have to think of a way to bring up the topic, he’ll ask,” you suggest. eddie lifts his head and looks at you in slight amazement.

he turns you around, grabbing your face and pressing your lips to his. “you’re brilliant,” he mutters, causing you to giggle.

you kiss him back before pushing him away. “go call him while i finish getting ready,” you say, eddie nodding.

and that’s how eddie found himself walking into kohls with dustin talking his ear off about his little girlfriend. dustin followed him blindly as eddie tried to navigate his way to the baby section. “found it,” eddie said with a smile as an assortment of cribs, highchairs, and changing tables came into view.

dustin stopped, looking after eddie with confusion covering his face as eddie began walking through the isle of cribs. he was scanning them with such consideration that had dustin feeling like he was in a different dimension. “eddie?” dustin questioned, jogging slightly to catch up with him. eddie raised his eyebrows in response, trying to hide his nerves. “why are you looking at baby stuff?” he asked, looking at the brown and white cribs that were set up next to them.

eddie sends dustin a small smile before picking up a price tag on one of the simpler cribs. his eyes widen slightly at the price and immediately drops it. absolutely not. “because henderson, i’m having a kid,” he says nonchalantly as if he didn’t just drop a total bombshell

dustin looks at him in shock, a nervous chuckle leaving his lips. “you’re kidding, right?” he asks, eyebrows furrowed.

“nope, y/n’s due in february. so i kind of need to get a move on with looking for stuff,” eddie shrugs, moving over to the clothes section instead.

dustin is quiet, taking a few minutes to process. “you’re serious?” he asks, still unbelieving.

a scoff leaves eddie’s lips as he picks up a small onesie, a pout forming on his lips at how cute the little thing is. “dead serious, when y/n gets off you can see for yourself,” eddie informs him, nervously glancing while trying to gauge his reaction.

he’s silent for a few more minutes until he gasps. “oh my god, gross,” he gags, turning away from eddie.

eddie looks at him in confusion and picks up a small baby blanket. “what?” he asks, rubbing his thumb over the soft fabric.

“she’s pregnant! that means you had to, ugk, you had to have, oh god,” dustin holds his hand up to his mouth as he gags.

eddie bursts out laughing as he realizes what dustin was trying to say. “what? did you not think i had sex with my girlfriend?” he laughs, watching dustin squeeze his eyes shut.

“stop! literally stop it’s like seeing your parents- oh i’m gonna throw up,” dustin goes on, covering his face with his hands.

eddie chuckles and slings his arm over dustin. “it’s life, kid. now, do you think this blanket or this blanket is cuter?” he asks, holding one up before pointing to the other one.

dustin gathers himself before opening his eyes and looking between the two. “uh, this one,” dustin says, pointing to the one in his hand.

a smile covers eddie’s face as he nods. “yeah, i think so too. c’mon, i wanna get it,” he says and pats dustin on the back.

after dustin freaking out for a while, you and eddie decided to just tell the others all at once. will was definitely the most excited, max being a close second.

week 20

eddie was sat at your dining room, sipping a beer and going over a campaign he was trying to set up. he wanted to get in one last longer one before the baby came and he wanted it to be perfect. it was currently the first week of october and most of hellfire was spending their time in school, but they simply couldn’t go on without eddie as their leader. you were cooking some pasta because you’d been thinking about it for the past few days along with some greens your doctor told you you should be eating.

a random radio station was playing as your grandma walked out of the kitchen and back to her place in the living room. you hummed along, enjoying the peaceful evening when you felt a small nudge against the inside of your stomach.

you gasped, hand flying to your stomach as you waited to see if it would happen again. your doctor had also told you that you should feel kicking within the next couple weeks and you wanted to make sure you weren’t imagining it. but then, right where your hand was placed, another slightly stronger nudge caused your tummy to poke out a bit. “eddie,” you gasped, tears filling your eyes as you cradled your bump.

eddie’s eyes darted up to you as he put down his beer and scrambled out of his seat. “what? are you okay?” he asked as he quickly walked to you. you turned around, a tear falling down your cheek as eddie grabbed your face, his own full of fear.

you pouted before laughing through your tears and giving him a smile. “little bean is kicking,” you say quietly and eddie’s eyes widen in excitement.

“actually?” he asks as a smile covers his features. he drops down to the ground and places his hands on your stomach. you nod, grabbing his wrist to place it where you had felt the last kick. you waited in silence for a moment, eddie biting his lip. “hey, little bean, it’s daddy. can you kick for me please? just like you did for mommy?” he coos, stroking your stomach lovingly as he waits.

then, another kick, and eddie has tears falling. he kisses your stomach over and over again, murmuring to the baby as you stroke his hair. “i need to go show grandma,” you say and wipe your eyes. eddie smiles, wiping his own eyes as he stands and places a kiss to your head.

he stirs the pasta for you as he hears you and your grandma talk excitedly about it and thinks. you had reached the halfway point, and there was so much more you needed to figure out. the only things you had gotten for the baby were a couple blankets, a few onesies, and some toys they wouldn’t even need yet. eddie didn’t want to tell you it was stressing him out, but you didn’t even have a living situation figured out.

when you came back into the kitchen you noticed eddie’s expression. he was in deep thought over something, and it was definitely bothering him. you grabbed his bicep gently, leaning your head on his shoulder. “what’s up, love?” you ask quietly. eddie shakes his head, snapping out of it and giving you a fake smile.

“nothing, babe,” he mumbles, continuing to stir the pot.

you roll your eyes at him. “don’t lie, i know somethings up,” you say causing him to sigh. of course you would see through him.

he leans his head against yours as he tries to gather his thoughts together. “i think i’m just stressed out,” he admits and you nod.

“i know, love. i am too, but we’ll be fine. i know it,” you reassure him and he closes his eyes.

he lets out a breath before deciding to tell you what he was most worried about. “babe, i just wanna know what we’re gonna do for a living situation. we have less than five months and just, if we want to find a house to rent we’re gonna need to start now,” he says, the stress evident in his voice.

you pull away from him to have him turn and face you. “i was actually gonna ask you to move in, just didn’t know the right moment,” you say, holding his hand and swinging it.

his eyes narrow in confusion. “move in here? we wanna live here?” he asks, attempting to clarify.

you shrug, chewing the inside of your cheek as you look down shyly. “i dunno, i thought it would be easier. we wouldn’t have to buy new furniture, the office can be turned into a nursery, and lord knows my room needs updated so we could make it our room… but if you don’t want to-” you ramble and eddie cuts you off by placing his lips to yours.

“nah, i think that’s perfect,” he assures you when you pull away. you smile and lean into his chest. things were starting to fall into place.

week 24

“i look ridiculous,” you whine, stomping your foot like a kid. eddie walks over from where he was buttoning his shirt and looks you over. he smirks instead at your outfit, reaching out to flick one of your udders.

yes. udders.

you let eddie pick your guy’s halloween costume this year and instead of picking a vampire and a mummy (because come on, that would’ve been perfect), he dressed you as a cow and he a farmer. shocking, i know. “i think you look adorable,” he said, reaching up and adjusting the cow ear headband you were wearing.

you scanned yourself, harshly picking at everything you hated about yourself in this and your eyes began to water. “i look fat!” you exclaim, eddie looking back down to tuck his shirt into his blue jeans.

he snorts and tears fall from your eyes. he thought you were fat. “well, baby, cows aren’t exactly skinny so you just fit the costume extra well,” he tries to tease, not thinking about how it could come off.

you burst into tears and let out a sob. “i look like a cow,” you cry, pulling at the extra fat on your thighs.

eddie’s face drops at your cries. he twists your body to face him and pulls your arms from your thighs. “baby, baby no. hey, it’s okay. you’re beautiful, hunny,” he says, wiping tears from your cheeks and pulling you into his chest.

“you just said i look fat,” you cry into his chest and eddie frowns, replaying his words.

“oh, god, baby. i didn’t mean it like that i swear that. you’re not fat you just got a pregnancy belly. you’re making a baby and you’re healthy for it, you’re exactly where you should be. you’re not fat, shh,” he coos, holding your head.

you fist his flannel shirt, crying harder. “i’m gross,” you sob, and eddie feels panicked. he didn’t know what to do. he knew this was just your hormones making you overly emotional but he still felt like shit for making you feel this way.

he kisses your head and holds you tighter. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to make you feel bad. you’re not gross, baby. i promise you look beautiful. please don’t cry,” he begs. why the hell did he chose this for your costume? he was never taking ideas from a magazine again.

“i don’t wanna go to the party. they’ll all think im fat,” you say into his chest, sniffling.

he frowns harder, knowing you were super excited for this. “hunny, no they won’t. come on you’ve been talking about this party all week,” he says, pulling you away from his chest to look at your eyes.

you shake your head no, wiping away your tears and makeup. “m’too ugly,” you cry and eddie’s heart fills with pain.

he gives you a stern look and grabs your face with one hand to get your attention. “you are not ugly. don’t you ever say that again. you’re beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, and everything else. never say you’re ugly, i never want to hear that come out of your mouth again,” he says, trying to reassure you.

but his words were very harsh and scolding which caused you to whine and cry harder. you clamped your eyes shut and sobbed as eddie’s stomach dropped. “i'm sorry, eddie,” you cry, feeling like you’d disappointed him.

“fucking shit,” he groans to himself, getting pissed off at himself for not thinking before talking. “no, baby, no. don’t be sorry. i'm not mad at you, i swear it. i just want you to know you’re stunning,” he tries, pushing some of your hair back. “baby, please calm down,” he whispered, biting on his lip.

you fell back into his chest and he stroked your hair until you finally stopped crying. “im sorry,” you muttered, throat sore.

eddie shook his head, pressing his lips to the crown of your head. “stop, you don’t need to be,” he whispers, holding you tight. god damn you hated pregnancy hormones.

week 27

eddie bit his lip as he nervously tapped his fingers against the counter, waiting for a worker to show up. the store wasn’t even that big, where the hell could they be? just then he saw joyce byers coming up from the back. “oh no, how long have you been waiting?” she asks, feeling bad for taking yet another smoke break.

“not long, um, i called about the pregnancy pillow?” he said quietly, looking down at the counter.

joyce beamed, grabbing the box behind the counter. “oh it’s for y/n? how is she?” joyce asked excitedly, punching the price into the till.

eddie smiles, relaxing a bit. “pretty good, the pains are really starting to hit her though,” he explains, motioning towards the pillow.

“i hope they ease up, when i was pregnant with will it was like i was almost always in pain,” she says thoughtfully.

eddie nods, handing her the money for the pillow. “i hope so too,” he says.

joyce behind counting his change before speaking back up. “do you guys have anything for the baby yet? i’ve still got some stuff from when jonathan and will were babies if you wanna come look through it?” she offered, handing his change back.

“that’d be awesome, actually. i’ll have y/n call you,” he says, grabbing the box. he brings it home, walking straight to your now shared bedroom. you’d taken out your old floral pink wallpaper and opted for a darker grey instead. most of the other stuff was the same except for new sheets and another dresser. it’s not like you could focus your money on redoing your room at the moment.

you were sat reading a pregnancy book while eating chips on your bed when you felt eddie drop something heavy by your feet. “what’s that?” you ask, lowering your book.

eddie smiles and leans down to give you a kiss before pulling out his pocket knife. “it’s one of those pregnancy pillows, supposed to make things more comfortable so you can sleep,” he explains, cutting open the box.

you sit up, watching him pull the very squished large pillow from the box and set it on the floor so it could expand. “you didn’t need to do that,” you pout, pushing yourself to stand.

eddie shrugs and wraps his arms around you. “want you to be comfy,” he says, resting his head against yours.

you feel the tears well up in your eyes again, and it makes you roll your eyes. “thank you, babe. i love it,” you say and kiss his lips.

“oh! and joyce told me we can go through some of her old baby stuff and have whatever,” he adds once you pull away. you smile again, loving how excited he was over things.

week 28

“okay but what are you naming the baby?” steve asks, sitting on your couch with his feet propped up. robin points at you with raised eyebrows, also wanting to know.

you place your hands on your stomach and look down. “we haven't really talked about it,” you shrugged as eddie walked into the room. he handed you your juice and you thanked him quietly.

he sits in the chair across from you and throws his feet on the coffee table as well. “what haven’t we talked about?” he asks, popping the cap off his beer.

max jumps in the conversation from the floor. “we wanna know what you’re naming your baby, but y/n said you haven’t talked about it,” she says, looking at him expectantly.

eddie looks around at everyone’s eyes on him before looking to you. “we haven’t, i mean i assumed it was something we’d think about once they were born,” he says cautiously, hoping not to upset you.

“they’re just kidding, obviously they’re naming the kid after me,” dustin says, holding his hands up.

you look at him in disbelief along with the rest. “dustin, i love you like family, but i am not calling my child dusty. i am not doing to my baby what claudia did to you,” you say seriously, causing everyone to crack up.

“well do you guys have any ideas?” mike asks, finally showing interest in your pregnancy. you look to eddie, also wanting to know if he’d been thinking about it.

eddie snorts, taking another drink of his beer. “obviously, but they’re staying private. you guys can find out when she’s born,” eddie says, enjoying making everyone mad.

“she? how do you know?” will asks, seemingly the only one who picked up on it.

everyone gasps, falling into excited little side comments. eddie rolls his eyes at their antics. “we don’t know, y/n just has a strong feeling it’s a girl,” he explains.

everyone lets out ‘ohs’ of realization. “wait, y/n, do you have name ideas?” lucas asks, realizing you hadn’t answered.

“of course i do, but like eddie i’m not spilling,” you tease causing everyone to groan in annoyance.

“we are talking about them once everyone leaves, right?” eddie asks, pointing to you.

you laugh slightly at him and nod. “yes, you don’t count dingus,” you reply, causing him to playfully flip you off with a smile.

week 31

you huffed, frustrated tears falling from your eyes as you fell back against the wall. you were trying to put together the changing table you and eddie found at a thrift store and now that you wanted to get up you couldn’t. you looked around at the practically empty nursery and it made you cry harder. you felt like a failure and you hated it.

you sat, crying continuously on the floor for thirty minutes until eddie got home from work. he heard your cries, sending him into a panic as he rushed from the kitchen towards your cries. “babe?” he called frantically, bursting in the doorway. “are you hurt? what’s wrong?” he asked, crouching in front of you and pulling your hands from your face.

“not hurt,” you cry, wiping your tears and shaking your head. “i can’t get up, i’m too big and i can’t get my fat ass off the floor. please help me,” you cry, holding your hands out to him.

eddie frowns, grabbing ahold of your forearms. “oh, sweetheart,” he says softly, shuffling back to help you stand. you finally get up with his help and a huff. “what were you doing on the floor?” eddie asks, holding each side of your face.

you gesture to the mostly built changing table (which was quite well done to be honest) and sigh. “i just wanted to get this changing table made,” you mumble.

“babe, you know you’re not supposed to be doing stuff like that. you’re not supposed to put yourself in strenuous or stressful situations, that’s what i’m for,” he says, serious but adding a joke.

your lip quivers as you feel anger and sadness flood your body. “i’m not stupid, i’m not gonna kill our baby,” you say flatly, grasping your bump.

eddie lets go of your face to instead grab your arms. “hey, i never said that. i don’t think that,” he reassures you, trying to get your attention. “but really, y/n, you gotta let me do this type of stuff,” he pleads.

“but you were at work,” you mutter.

eddie nods, scanning your face as his brows furrow. “yeah, i gotta be at work, baby. i could’ve done it when i got home,” he tries explaining.

you shake him off, crossing your arms. “you’re always working,” you grumble, referencing the multitude of doubles, over time, and long hours he’d been picking up.

eddie glares softly at you. “yeah, i’m trying to make money for us, so our baby can have nice things,” he states, the slightest bit of venom entering his tone.

“but you’re never home, and-and it’s hard-” you start and eddie scoffs.

he crosses his own arms, looking at you in slight disbelief. “what? you want me to drop hours so i can lay around with you and wait on you constantly? you wanna be poor and not be able to afford our baby?” he asks with raised brows.

your hormones make you angry faster and his words punched a whole lot deeper. “i just want you around more, is that a damn crime?” you sneer.

“when i’m around all you do is complain and make me do shit. i’m tired too, you know,” he spits.

“you’re not pregnant! i am, which is your fault by the way!” you say, poking him in the chest.

he glares at your finger, his jaw clenching. “it takes two,” he says in a deadly low voice.

your eyes flash with the tiniest bit of fear but eddie catches it. he was losing his cool. “i wish it didn’t,” you say with venom. eddie’s eyes show a flash of hurt and then rage.

“you’re really gonna say that shit just because i work too much? that’s low as fuck y/n. like shit, what the hell is wrong with you? why are you being such a cunt? damn, is the baby even mine-” he starts, his voice raising with his words.

your face drops at his words. no way he was bringing up the idea of you cheating, again. eddie notices your change in expression and his therapist’s words start flooding his mind. he closes his eyes as yours spill more tears and he takes a deep breath. “i didn’t mean that,” he whispers. you shove him with a sob, causing him to stumble and his eyes to fly open. he wants to yell at you, his fists are shaking, but he makes himself realize it’s you. it’s you and you’re scared. “y/n, i’m going to leave. i need to go cool down,” he says as calmly as he can.

a sob leaves your lips. “you’re leaving?” you ask in fear, afraid your stupid hormones drove him away.

eddie pushes past you in order to get out of the house. “just-just for a bit, i’ll be back when i’m calm,” he says, ignoring eye contact and leaving quickly.

the whole hour he’s gone you spend worrying. you called every member of hellfire, sputtering about him leaving angry but none of them knew where he was. dustin offered to go out looking for him, but the idea of dustin riding around in the dark by himself made you cry harder so you didn’t let him. you had hyperventilated at one point, and now you were just sitting on your shared bed, hugging his pillow as you cried.

your door creaked open slowly and your head shot up. “eddie,” you cried, pushing yourself up quickly and launching at him. he took in your state and felt his stomach drop. you collapsed into him and held him tighter than you ever have. “i’m sorry, eddie. i love you, i-i know you work so much for us and i appreciate it. i di-didn’t mean what i said, i wouldn’t want anyone else to be this baby’s dad. please, forgive me,” you sob into his chest.

eddie grasps you tightly, burying his face in your hair. “no, don’t apologize baby, please,” he began. “i know your hormones make everything out of whack and i should’ve thought about that. i know you want me around more and i’m sorry that i’m not. you’re not a cunt, there’s nothing wrong with you, and i know damn well this baby is mine. i was just mad and saying things i don’t mean. i love you so so so much, baby. i’m sorry,” he says, gripping a fist full of your hair as he prayed you wouldn’t hold this against him. the two of you stood in each others arm for a while, trying to get ahold of your emotions

you pull away, shaking your head once you calmed down. “we both said things we don’t mean, but it’s okay. i think… i think you handled it,” you say, trying to show you recognized his efforts. he gave you a heartbroken smile with tears in his eyes. “but,” you say and his face falls again. “for the love of god, next time, tell me where you’re going,” you say, letting out a breath.

“sorry, i will,” eddie says, pulling you back to him.

you laugh, snuggling into his chest. “had me calling everybody trying to find you,” you sigh into his chest.

eddie frowns, kissing your head. “i’m sorry,” he whispers and you just shake your head, enjoying his hug.

week 34

“merry christmas, sweetie,” you heard eddie say before a kiss was placed to your stomach. you smiled, opening your eyes to see eddie talking to your tummy. he looks up to you, smiling and climbing up to hover over you. “and merry christmas to you too,” he smiles cheesily, placing a kiss to your lips.

“merry christmas, handsome,” you say as he pulls back.

he chuckles and sits next to you. “you know, you can’t try flattering me on christmas morning for better gifts. they’re already bought,” he jokes and you roll your eyes.

you huff, snuggling back into your pregnancy pillow. “my goal with the flattery is actually to get you to help grandma start cooking so i can shower first,” you say pointedly and eddie groans.

“fine,” he says dramatically before getting up to put on a shirt. you guys had a lot of preparing to do before the whole crew showed up for christmas around six o’clock tonight. by the crew, you meant eddie’s bandmates, robin, nancy, jonathan, steve, and the kids. was your house big enough for that? definitely not. but you were very persistent on hosting.

you were hunched over the counter, adding the final touches to your casserole when a sharp pain shot through your back. “oh, shit, ow,” you curse, putting you hands on your lower back and pushing.

eddie comes over to you and rests his hand on your shoulder. “what is it?” he asks, mildly concerned.

you pout, looking at him before rubbing one hand over your now huge stomach. “your kid is trying to snap my back with how heavy they are,” you say and eddie frowns.

“let me help then,” he says, turning you back to your casserole.

you furrow your brows and look back at him. “what are you-” you start, but eddie’s hands grab the bottom of your stomach and lift it upwards, holding the weight for you. “ohhh, my god,” you moan, head falling on his shoulder. eddie snorts at your reaction and kisses your cheek.

“keep making your damn casserole,” he jokes, and you stick your tongue out at him before doing just that.

that night was one of the happiest you’ve ever had. everyone was sat around, eating tons of food and sweets and swapping gifts and you couldn’t help but start crying. “you alright?” gareth asks, sipping some hot chocolate next to you.

you wipe your tears and nod, looking at lucas and will fighting over who got the better comics. “i’m just so happy that this baby will have such a big, loving family. like, i know you’re all not blood but… family isn’t just blood,” you say, watching eddie mess up dustin’s hair.

“that is the cheesiest shit i have ever heard,” gareth laughs but wraps his arm around your shoulder anyway. “but yeah, this kid has an army,” he observes and you feel your heart soar.

week 36

you sat in the rocking chair in the middle of the community room at the library surrounded by tons of gifts. “guys, this is all too much,” you say, pressing your hands to your cheeks as jonathan takes pictures for you.

eddie shrugs from behind you, placing his hands on your shoulders. “i think it’s pretty cool,” he comments, making some of the guests laugh.

“okay, okay shut up. y/n open my present first!” dustin calls over everyone. you roll your eyes fondly but agree. he claps and runs up, grabbing a big bag and bringing it up to you. “you’re gonna love it,” he says with a big smile.

eddie flicks his hat causing him to glare. “let her open it, henderson,” he laughs about his eagerness. you pulled the tissue paper out and grabbed the first box out, gasping at the picture.

“a sling!” you cooed, showing it off.

“the fuck is that for?” eddie asked, leaning down to look closer at it.

you swat him and put the box on the floor next to you. “you can strap the baby to your chest so you don’t have to hold them as you walk or do the dishes or something,” you explain, reaching back in the bag. next you pulled out a box of little essentials such as tweezers, a baby thermometer and so on, dustin explaining his mom picked that out. the last thing you pulled out was a very shit-ily, homemade book of coupons for babysitting. “awe, dustin,” you coo, tears coming to your eyes.

you hold out your arms and dustin gives you a hug, smiling and feeling proud of himself. “yeah, i’m not letting dustin watch the baby,” eddie comments, flipping through the coupons of dustin’s bad handwriting.

“oh yes we will, once the baby’s a bit older though,” you say, giving dustin a reassuring smile.

el walks up to the two of you next, shyly picking out her gift. as usual, she was quiet, and she was the one out of them all that you were the least close to. her gift consisted of a few packs of bibs, some binkies, and burping cloths. “thank you, sweetie,” you said, putting them back in the bag and giving her a hug.

gareth, jeff, and ricky put their money together to buy a really nice baby bouncer and a couple outfits. mike and nancy got you a play mat and some more clothes, and karen bought lots of diapers and that made you cry. lucas got a nightlight, some baby books, and a winnie the pooh onesie.

“alright, unwrap mine,” steve says, shoving the box towards you. you laugh at him and begin tearing off the paper and feel tears leak from your eyes immediately.

eddie helps your tear the rest of the wrapping paper off and places his hand on your thigh. “steve,” you say with a pout, crying at how sweet it was.

steve chuckles and pulls you into a hug. “please, why do you think i was pressuring you into waiting until after the birth to buy the stroller? i picked the best one, duh,” he says and you sniffle.

eddie stands up, pulling him into a bro hug and holding it for a bit longer than normal. “thanks, man,” he says, giving him a genuine smile. robin practically throws steve out of the way and places a bag in your lap.

you laugh at her eagerness but start opening the gift anyway. she had gotten the two of you some toys to connect to the stroller, along with a couple knitted hats and booties and a pack of bottles. “these are the cutest, robin, thank you so much,” you say, admiring the bottles with little elephants on them.

max stands, bringing her gift to you. you smiled at the cute bath set she had gotten and eddie gives her a big hug, rubbing his knuckles into the top of her head until she starts cussing him.

wayne wasn't able to make it sadly, but he had already gotten you guys a lot. most importantly he paid for the crib and got you the rocking chair you were currently sitting on.

you didn’t even know where to start with the byers. joyce specifically gave you a nice diaper bag, new crib sheets, and diapers. from will and jonathan, you got a multitude of outfits, some toys, and a some swaddles. your heart was full of love once again because of this group, and you couldn’t wait for them to meet your little one.

week 37

you pulled the frozen pizza from the oven and sighed, ready to eat your lunch and take a nap. you’d just finished your last day of work and your feet hurt. you put the oven mit down and grabbed the pizza cutter from your drawer and began cutting the pizza.

all of a sudden, a gush of liquid seeps out of you. you gasp, looking down to see the clear puddle on the ground. at first you thought you just peed yourself, but this was not pee. “grandma!” you yelled, shaking as you look at the puddle. your grandma walks in, seeing it and gasping.

“your baby’s coming,” she says happily, coming over and taking the pizza cutter from you. “go put on some clean clothes, i’ll call eddie at work, okay?” your grandma says, rubbing your arms.

tears fill your eyes as you shake your head no. “it’s too early, i still have three weeks!” you panic and your grandma shushes you.

“hey, hey, don’t panic okay? it’s not too early your baby will be just fine, you know you were three weeks early too right? so was your momma,” she comforts you and you try taking deep breaths. “go change, make sure your bag is ready,” she says and you nod, turning and waddling away as she goes to call eddie’s work.

eddie is flying in the house fifteen minutes later, eyes blown wide in panic. “the baby’s coming?” he asks, stumbling into your shared room.

“my water broke,” you confirm, sniffling since you were still panicking.

eddie looks at you for another moment before walking over to see what you were shoving in your bag. “but its-”

“three weeks too early, i know,” you say, wiping your eyes.

eddie runs his hands down his face. “fuck, okay, woah, shit, this is happening. okay, you got everything, what do i need to do?” eddie rambles. he feels like he’s shaking with nerves and he can tell by your body language that you’re freaking out on the inside.

“um, i think we can go, i haven’t had a contraction yet so we don’t need to speed. please. don't speed,” you say, grabbing your bag.

eddie gulps, grabbing the bag from you and kissing your forehead. “let’s go have a baby,” he tries to smile at you and you nod, giving him a shaky smile and grabbing his hand.

after being in labor for twenty-five hours you were finally able to push. you hated that eddie couldn’t be there with you while you brought your baby into the world, but that was just how it worked in the 80s. thanking every god in the sky, your baby cried immediately. “it’s a girl, momma,” the doctor said with a smile, causing you to cry tears of joy instead of pain. “get her cleaned up and bring daddy in,” the doctor says to her team around her and they nod.

eddie rushes in the room and to your side, gripping your hand tightly. “you did it, holy fuck, baby, you did it,” he says, tears leaking from his eyes as he presses his forehead to yours. you were laying back flat, still in pain but you didn’t care. you heard the sounds of your baby crying getting louder and eddie’s eyes snapped up as a nurse leaned down to place the little bundle in your arms.

“here’s your daughter,” the nurse says sweetly, and eddie gasps.

you sob, holding the tiny pink swaddle in your arm. “hi, baby,” you coo, bringing your finger up to stroke her tiny nose as her cries immediately begin to cease while in your hold.

“we have a baby girl,” eddie croaks, sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, hunching over to place his hand on the swaddle.

the doctor stops at the foot of your hospital bed to catch your attention. “she’s a little on the smaller side, but nothing that worries me. we’re gonna take her in a couple minutes for testing, just to be sure,” she smiles at you and the two of you nod.

you sniffle, watching her little mouth open in a small yawn. “oh my god, you’re so tiny,” you cry and eddie covers his mouth with his hand.

eddie reaches down, touching her soft cheek with the pad of his pointer finger. “so sweet,” he mutters, immediately in love with the small baby.

“here, babe, you hold her,” you choke out with a smile, raising your arms.

eddie bites his lip, terrified to hold her but reaches down anyways. you carefully transfer the baby to his arms and eddie lets out a sob at how light she is. it was all so real now. “oh my ozzy,” he mumbles, tucking your baby into the crook over his elbow.

they take your daughter for some testing a few moments later, leaving just you and eddie in the room. “so, do we know her name?” eddie asks after he stops crying. he’s holding your hand, stroking your knuckles as he laid next to you.

you smile up at him and nod. “i think we do,” you say and push yourself up to kiss him.

melody belle munson

born: january 18th, 1987

weight: 6lbs 10oz

height: 18.9 inches

okay, yep. i'm in love. as you may have noticed, this is no longer a multi-part one shot. it's now a mini series :) i'll start the next part soon and it'll be everyone meeting melody, if you have any ideas for that (or any interactions between any of them and the baby) please let me know.

oh, and just because they're all happy and sweet now... doesn't mean they always will be...

those who wanted tagged/requested this part:

@marvelously-flawed @ayyeitssarahh @llmae @faithsreades @eddie-swhore @its-nowheregirl @moony-03 @fujiihime @asimpwriter @littletittygothgirl @teenyvee @todoroki-slut @whore-for-eddie @andrewgarfieldsspidey @rainazinha @lupitabarber @ladymoxley @aphr0d1teh @kaitioo @eddiemunson-1971 @picklepenis @cherriebat @alexandraoonaghives

2K notes · View notes

cherrycheridarling · 4 years ago

Text

tic-tac-toe | mcu

marvel cast x actress!reader

warnings: one swear, fluff, no plot

summary: you play aphrodite in the MCU and it's time for the press conference for infinity war. based off of this press conference

wc: 2.7k

"Tom Hiddleston!" Jeff Goldblum introduced the man who was sitting on your right.

Everyone applauded before Jeff moved onto you, "Y/N Y/L/N!" more applause rang through the room.

"Sebastian Stan!" you looked to your left where Sebastian waved to the crowd as you clapped with everyone else.

"Anthony Mackie!"

After Jeff finished with the introductions, he explained how the panel would work. He would pull a ping pong ball out of a container and it would either have a name or category. The audience would be able to ask a question to that person or a person in that category after Jeff called on them.

As he pulled RDJ's name out of the container, Tom leaned over towards you.

"Does your water taste funny, too?" he whispered making you stifle a laugh.

You nodded, "Kind of like lemon, right?"

He shook his head, "Mine tastes like mint. Can I taste yours?" he held his hand out as you passed him your water bottle. He took a sip and spent a moment analyzing the taste, "Yours does taste like lemon! Why does mine taste different? Here." he passed you his water.

You took a sip and were hit with a strong mint flavour, "Woah. I think they're trying to drug you." you joked making him laugh.

"As I am answering this question, Tom Hiddleston and Y/N Y/L/N are discussing the flavours of the water behind me." Robert exposed you and Tom to the audience making the room burst out into laughter.

"They have fancy water. Mint and lemon." Tom spoke into a mic drawing more laughs. "Sorry. Carry on!"

As Jeff pulled the next name, you adjusted your dress. A white, long sleeve, blazer dress with gold buttons down the middle, the dress ended mid-thigh. The v-neck cut showcased your subtle gold necklace. Black stiletto heels covered your feet.

You unconsciously began bouncing your leg up and down in a fast motion. Sebastian placed a hand on your thigh, stopping your movements, "You're gonna drill a hole through the floor, Y/L/N." he chuckled.

"Sorry." you laughed quietly.

Sebastian pulled out a notepad and pen, "You need a distraction. Tic-tac-toe?" he offered.

You smiled with a nod before making your move.

"You absolutely suck at this." you chuckled as you won the third game in a row.

Sebastian scoffed, "You can't suck at tic-tac-toe."

"And yet, you do." you smirked.

He rolled his eyes playfully before you continued playing.

After two more rounds, your attention was back on Jeff as he pulled a new ping pong ball. "Ooh! You can ask a God or Goddess." Jeff announced, "So, Tom Hiddleston, Chris Hemsworth or Y/N Y/L/N." he reminded the crowd, "Okay, yes, you!" he picked a woman in the front row.

"Hi, I'm Alexis with Forbes. My question is for Y/N." the room applauded as Jeff tossed the ping pong ball at you and you caught it with one hand.

"See, Robert! It's not that hard!" Jeff exclaimed making everyone laugh.

"Screw off, Goldblum! You chucked that shit at my head." Robert joked back. "Sorry, Alexis, go ahead."

"Um, I wanted to ask about Aphrodite's powers. We all know that she is the Goddess of Love and can seduce anyone with her beauty. We see in the trailer a small clip of her seducing men. How many people did you seduce in the film and were there any funny moments filming those scenes that you can share?"

Her question drew a mix of reactions from the cast. Some laughed, some furrowed their eyebrows and others were just confused. You took in the question before opening your mouth to reply, until you remembered that you weren't wearing a body mic. The cast laughed again before Sebastian passed you a mic.

"Sorry. Um, how many people did I seduce in the film? None." you stated drawing more laughs, "How many people did Aphrodite seduce? All of them." you chuckled, "I'm kidding. Although, I'm not sure what I can share because I don't know what's in the trailer." you confessed, "Kevin, Joe, Anthony, what's in the trailer?" you asked them making everyone laugh again.

Kevin picked up a mic, "I believe it's you seducing Spider-Man, Starlord, Drax and Iron Man."

You nodded, "I do have a funny moment that I'm sure Mister Holland will kill me for sharing, but it's too good to not tell." you smiled thinking of the memory.

Tom immediately grabbed a mic, "You wouldn't!" he exclaimed making the audience and cast laugh.

"I would," you retorted, "We were shooting that scene and, as you know, they have to act like they are falling in love with me. Like I'm putting them in a trance. Well, Tom took that a bit too seriously." you paused at the laughter that your sentence caused, "They're all on their knees in front of me, looking at me as if I'm their queen, because I am." you joked, "And then Anthony calls 'cut' and Dave, Chris and RDJ all get up and start chatting, but as I'm turning away, Tom doesn't move. Still on his knees, looking at me as if I hold the world in my hands." the room filled with amused laughs and chuckles as Tom covered his face with his hands.

"No, it was so bad because I just looked like a creep that couldn't stop staring at her!" Tom laughed at himself.

Robert grabbed a mic, "Very true. I was watching and it honestly had me convinced that Y/N had real powers."

"I have to say, I understand the kid's reaction. Y/N's costume for Aphrodite and the way they transform her only enhances how gorgeous she already is." Anthony Mackie spoke up causing the crowd to gush and clap, "I'm pretty sure we all had the same reaction when we first saw her while filming Civil War." he looked around as the cast nodded.

Scarlett picked up a mic, "Yeah. I remember her walking on set in this stunning white dress which made me extremely jealous," she confessed, "Because, one, it's so gorgeous and she looks absolutely amazing in it," the crowd and cast applauded again, "And two, it's made of the softest silk while my suit is leather and spandex!" everyone laughed at her comment.

Benedict picked up his mic, "Although, it wasn't Tom's first time seeing Y/N as Aphrodite. He was in Civil War and still could not contain himself." he teased making the audience and cast laugh again.

Robert spoke again, "Yeah, he did that during the filming of Civil War, too." the room hollered with laughs.

Tom's face was bright red, "I'm just a very committed actor. I really give all of myself to my work." his comment drew more laughs.

"That's why Sebastian despises Tom. It all started when Tom couldn't take his eyes off of Y/N." Chris Hemsworth added making everyone double over in laughter.

"I feel so loved," you held a hand to your heart as the room chuckled, "These are genuinely the best people in the world and I guess you could say I seduced one person during filming." you joked as the crowd continued to laugh, "Sorry, Tom. I'll buy you some juice, don't be mad." Anthony and Benedict laughed loudly. "Thank you for your question!" you thanked the lady as the cast clapped before Jeff picked out the next ping pong ball.

Next was Scarlett. You sat back and silently judged the man who asked about fashion. Scoffing with Sebastian at his question and laughing at Scarlett's sarcastic and witty responses.

Sebastian leaned over again, "I have to piss."

You stifled a laugh at his abrupt confession, "Go to the washroom, then." you nodded your head towards the exit.

"We're not allowed to leave." he frowned.

You chuckled and reached over, patting his thigh with your hand, "Don't piss yourself."

He rolled his eyes playfully before Jeff called out the next name.

"Anthony Mackie!"

"Hi, I'm Tiffany with Times Magazine. With such a star studded cast, do you find it difficult or any obstacles in developing your character with all theses amazing stories being told and struggling for screen time? Like, are there any obstacles or special difficulties or is it all just amazing?"

Before Anthony could answer, Joe Russo picked up his mic, "Are you asking Anthony Mackie if he has a hard time getting attention?" his comment caused the whole room to erupt in laughs.

Anthony nodded slowly as the laughter died down, "Touché, touché. Uh, well, Tiffany, a wise man once said that some men need an hour to make their presence felt and some need thirty seconds." there was an uproar of laughter and hollering at his comment as he dramatically dropped the mic on the table.

"Who are we asking next?" Jeff squinted at the ping pong ball, "Ooh! Back to the Goddess of Love herself, Y/N Y/L/N!" the room applauded for you as Jeff threw the ball to you.

Sebastian intercepted the toss and caught the ball himself with a smug smirk. You rolled your eyes, but smiled as Jeff picked a lady out of the dozens who had raised their hand.

"Hi, I'm Amy with Esquire and I wanted to ask about the relationship between Bucky and Aphrodite. We see in the previous films their awkward tension from their past history. They have a very special romance and their love story is a fan favourite in the Marvel fandom. What was it like building that bond and relationship on screen? And what do you think of the choice to match the two characters together, how did you react when you found out? Did the pairing of the two help build your bond off screen?"

Jeff spoke again, "I said 'one question', that was at least twenty." he teased the lady drawing laughs from the room.

You chuckled and nodded slowly as the laughter died down, "Excellent questions. Umm, I honestly really like the pairing of the two. I think it gives a great dynamic to both characters and reveals sides of them that we never would've seen without their relationship. It's a very 'good girl falling for the bad guy' trope. And if I'm being honest, I've always wanted that." you confessed causing the room to chuckle, "Their relationship is, without a doubt, one of the most complicated ones in the MCU, but I think that's what makes it so loved by the fans since there's not a dull moment between the two. It's nice to see Bucky have a sentimental side, in his own awkward way of course. And you get to see Aphrodite fall for someone who's not a God or a Titan." you turned to Sebastian, "What do you think?"

You offered him the mic, but he didn't take it, letting you hold it up for him, "Yeah, I agree. I never thought Bucky would have a love interest, if I'm being honest. But I'm glad he does because Aphrodite brings out the soft side in him and he brings out the fighter in her. They really balance each other out and Y/N portrays the character in such a unique way, it really brings a whole new fresh persona to Aphrodite and it's amazing having her as a partner on screen." the audience applauded at his words, "When I first found out about Bucky having her as his love interest—"

"—He called me screaming about how hyped he was." Anthony Mackie cut him off making the room laugh. "Anthony! Anthony! Bucky is gonna be with Aphrodite! That's gonna be sick!" Anthony mocked his voice as you were hunched over with laughter.

Sebastian nodded with a smile, "I did. Won't lie, I did. It's a really refreshing relationship and I'm glad that the fans love it as much as I love playing it. Back to you, you haven't talked about the development and our bond." he gave you a lopsided grin.

You chuckled, "I feel like I'm rambling, but yeah. Their development is definitely," you paused, trying to find the right words, "A development?" you settled on drawing more laughter. "Well, as I said, it's very complicated, but awkwardly adorable at times. Since Seb complimented me, I feel obligated to say something nice about him," you joked making them laugh again, "Kidding. He really does play Bucky with such passion and commitment, it's truly inspiring. And working with someone who loves what they do as much as Seb, it definitely motivates you tremendously and yeah. Um, I won't lie, I honestly was dreading working with Seb," you confessed drawing laughs and a gasp from Sebastian.

"Why?!" he exclaimed making you laugh.

You sighed, "Not because I think you're a bad person or anything, but you come off as very intimidating to people who don't know you very well. And I knew nothing about you before filming other than the films you'd already done, so you scared me." your confession caused everyone to laugh loudly.

Sebastian smirked jokingly, "I am extremely frightening. I understand." he shrugged.

You scoffed with a laugh, "I caught you sleeping with a stuffed turtle and whale noises playing." the room roared with laughter again, "That's when I knew you were a big softy."

Sebastian rolled his eyes playfully, "She's joking. I am the toughest man alive." he deepened his voice.

You shook your head with a chuckle, "Sure. Thank you for your questions." the room clapped for you as you set the mic down and relaxed back into your seat.

"Nailed it." Sebastian held a hand out for a high five and you chuckled before hitting your hand against his.

For the rest of the press conference, you sat back and listened to your friends answer questions. Laughed at jokes made and clapped when appropriate. Small tic-tac-toe games went on between you and Sebastian. Your attention was fully on your nails when Tom Hiddleston got called on.

"Hi, I'm Samantha with Daily Mail and I was wondering, since Loki is a very closed off and mysterious character, we never explore the aspect of him having a love interest. So, if you could choose anyone from the MCU for Loki to end up with, who would it be and why?"

You turned to look at Tom as he pondered on the question, crossing his arms and rubbing his chin, "Very good question. Umm, who would I choose for Loki? Let's see," he paused again and looked around the room until his eyes landed on you, "Ah, I'd steal Aphrodite from Bucky." he answered making the room laugh and Sebastian chuckled with a nod.

"Why Aphrodite?" Jeff asked.

Tom chuckled again, "Well, it's Aphrodite." he simply answered drawing more laughs, "They are so different yet similar in so many ways. Loki is never fully evil nor fully good, but I think Aphrodite has the best chance of turning him good. And who wouldn't want to end up with the Goddess of Love?"

The cast nodded understandingly before Chris Pratt grabbed a mic, "If you were to ask any person on this stage that same question, I guarantee the answer would be Aphrodite." the whole cast nodded.

"They're all trying to steal Sebastian's woman." Jeff teased.

Sebastian scoffed jokingly, "They're all jealous." he wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

You chuckled with a shake of your head before Robert spoke up, "Adding onto the conversation. Miss Y/L/N, who would you want Aphrodite to end up with?" his question drew excited reactions from the crowd.

You let out a bark of laughter before looking from Tom to Sebastian, "Hmm, excellent question, Mister Downey." you rubbed your chin, "Stop doing that, Holland." you chuckled as you saw Tom point at himself in the corner of your eye.

He raised his hands in surrender before Anthony Mackie spoke up, "Spidey is five years old, kid." everyone laughed at that.

"I'd have to stick with Bucky. He is her true love." you shrugged as the crowd cheered.

Sebastian smirked from beside you as the men of the cast faked disappointment.

As the panel came to a close, you looked around at the family you were surrounded by. Friends you love more than anything. Hundreds of memories with the most amazing people you'd ever met. Your home.

5K notes · View notes

fischltao · 3 years ago

Text

╔══════════════╗

AOT SQUIRTING HEADCANONS

╚══════════════╝

request by: @multi-fandoms-stuff

"can I pretty request an imagine for aot eren, erwin, levi, connie, armin, jean, reiner, bertolt, ymir, and mikasa about them making there s/o squirt for the first time and there reaction, have the reader get all shy and trys to hide her face??"

notes: ahhh thank you so much for requesting, again im very sorry for the delay and late update, im back on writing now!

warnings: smut, squirting, overstimulation, bodily fluids

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

Eren Jeager:

You and Eren have got it going on for a few hours with him and his titan stamina plunging into you without letting you rest for a minute. You haven't even kept track of how long it's been or how many times he's made you cum that night, only focusing on his cock stretching you open and the way he is holding your throat. It's not long until your next orgasm arrives but oh, this time it feels different and suddenly you're squirting all over him and his cock as he keeps fucking you deeper and harder.

"Eren, I need to clean up, Im so sorry I didn't know this would happen, oh my-" You wail while pushing your hands over your face but instead of him stopping he just snaps his hips against yours harder and says:

"No. You're doing it again" Needless to say, you do, indeed.

Erwin Smith:

On your break you had snuck inside Erwin's office to steal a couple of kisses which soon ended up with you laying on the table all over his paperwork and him taking out his emotions on your poor pussy, to the point where you swear someone's going to walk in with a noise complain- not just due to your loud moans- but also due to the fact that his unsteady table is repeatedly creaking on the wooden floor.

"Erwin, I'm so close, Erwin I-ERWIN" You scream as you realize what is actually happening and not being able to hold it in. Both of you are freaking the fuck out. On any other situation he would find this really hot and treat you so good for squirting on him but you just came all over important papers which needed to be delivered awfully soon and neither has zero idea of what the hell you're supposed to do now. You freaking out must have been even louder than your sex noises and now you're adamant that everyone heard.

This was a different walk of shame

Levi Ackerman:

He had just changed the sheets to your shared bedroom when you walked in half naked after your shower, instantly igniting something inside him. The past few weeks had been really tiring for both and the only way to take your exhaustion away was having you bounce on his cock until you were in tears and shaking.

"You're gonna cum baby? I'm so fucking close too" He whispered in your ear like a lullaby in-between heavy breaths as he moved your hair out of your face and locked his eyes with yours. His movements were so gentle and passionate until you both grew desperate for your release and soon he was guiding your hips faster and sloppier while smacking your ass. It wasn't long until you started shaking while he filled you up. After you both came down from your highs you gained awareness of your surroundings and immediately shrunk to yourself.

"What are you hiding away for?"

"You just changed the sheets"

"I can always put another ones" He said awkwardly as you tried to shift away from his lap, when he pulled you right back in "It would be a shame if i changed them while they're only this wet. We might as well just ruin them completely"

Connie Springer:

Sasha and Jean were sleeping on the couch next to you after a nice dinner and Connie was feeling really turned on, right from the start of the night when you felt his fingers creeping up inside your panties and circling over your clit before teasing their way inside.

"Can we at least go somewhere isolated? I feel bad for-" You choked trying not to make a sound as his finger where now dipping in and out of your cunt in a desperate need of feeling your walls clench around them "Connie-"

"It's too comfy here, try to be more quiet baby" He whispered back as he lifted your skirt and pushed his tip inside not letting it all in but rather slipping it in and then pulling out and rubbing on your clit until you felt yourself cumming. Hard.

You were trying so hard to not make a noise until you realized what actually happened and turned around to look at your boyfriend in shock with heat rising up your cheeks. This cheeky motherfucker was looking back at you with the biggest smirk before plunging his entire length inside. Definitely proud of himself... And you definetely have to clean up before a) Jean and/or Sasha wake up b) Captain Levi haunts your dreams.

Jean Kirschstein:

Jean and you had been sent on different expenditions for the week so it was safe to say that you really missed spending time with each other. And him inside you.

Once he closes his room's door he already has you pushed against the wall and taking you right there while standing up. Jean is the romantic type but missing you made him desperate for your touch. You were sure you were seeing stars at one point, the way he pressed against you was magnificent and it just kept getting better and better until you felt the bubble inside you burst and soon your juices were everywhere on the floor. Everywhere.

You instantly felt like hiding away and audibly apologized while he still fucked the shit out of you. Confused he started slowing down and voiced his concern over your sudden apology until he realized what went down and blushed. 'Thats it, its over' you thought. Suddenly the most unexpected thing happened. A huge smile crept on his face "I made you squirt! Oh my god you look so hot, I bet Eren would never be able to make a girl sq-" He exclaimed before you kicked his leg.

Armin Arlet:

Armin is such a sweet young man. He had you laid on the bed for him as he slowly fucked into you, gasping in between kisses and telling you just how much he loves you. Gaining more confidence in yourself your moans became louder and louder and soon his pace changed into sharp and quick thrusts.

Your orgasm hit you like a freight train and cherished the way he was the one to make you scream and breathe like that. He felt so blessed that you chose him as the man to have inside your velvet walls and-

Why is the bed wet? Did the rain get through the wooden roof? Why are you trying to hide away? Armin genuinely had no clue.

"Is everything okay baby? Do you feel uncomfortable with the waters?" He asked as more color rose up to your cheeks, refusing to look in his eyes as you awkwardly tried to explain what had happened was not a leak in the roof "What did you say?"

"I squirted"

"Oh"

"Yes"

"This is way more exciting than a leaking roof...Way more"

Reiner Braun:

Reiner is an emotional man and it shows when you get intimate with each other. One time he has you on all fours, with a finger deep in your asshole as he rails your guts.

"Noone else can fuck you like that fuck- what is it baby, is there anyone else that will fuck you this good? Have you crying from their cock? Use your words princess come on" He gasped as his own tears were threatening to fall, seeking emotional validation as well as pleasure as you tried to form a coherent sentence while sobbing "Didn't think so darling, you're such a whore for me"

And in the heat of the moment the offspring of his actions and words erupted from your throat as a loud scream and your juices squirted all over his lap for the first time. The sighting made Reiner cum in an instant and neither had the energy to talk about it, until he embraced you tightly from behind and thanked you for allowing him to be with you and sharing your most vulnerable moment with him.

Berthold Hoover:

His cock felt so good as you bounced on it . In a way it was therapeutic and for the past 7 minutes you've been in this position you've felt constantly on the edge and your thighs burned until sweet release washed you over and soon you were clasping poor Bert's shoulders as you screamed and squirted all over him while he pulled his dick out of your spent pussy and slapped its head on your clit as he watched more liquid come out.

After your orgasm died down a little, instant shame washed over you and you tried hopping away before he hugged you tightly and swayed you without realizing that hes accidentally rubbing you on his cock again and that you are about to pass out....

Ymir:

Ymir is a big tease. A really big one. Proof being her refusing to finally push her fingers inside your soaked slit, instead choosing to just rub up and down while slipping half an inch inside before you grew desperate and moved your own fingers to your clit and rubbing vigorously.

"Fuck" You heard her exclaim before plunging two of her fingers inside "Don't stop touching yourself baby, wanna make you cum like that" She commanded as her fingers dove in and out as fast as she could while you screamed under her touch. Your orgasm came fast and before you knew it, Ymir was soaking wet with your juices . "Never knew my girl could squirt, makes me wish I ate you out instead" She says before diving in.

Mikasa Ackerman:

It was a quiet night with Mika as you laid on your bed next to each other. Your conversation ended with your fingers in her pussy and hers in yours. Both struggled with the pace as you chased your release and her moans in your ear caused you to lose control and instantly let go and clench around her fingers as clear liquid soaked the sheets right beneath you and she turned her head to look at you in awe.

"I'm so sorry Mikasa I didn't know this would-"

"Do you think I can do this too?" She asked with flushed cheeks and an innocent look on her face.

"Eh? Squirt?" You asked and before she had the chance to nod you took out the dildo from your drawer and plunged it deep into her dripping pussy.

1K notes · View notes

everythingseasoning · 18 days ago

Note

Nici, I am reading through this ask/answer of yours.

I’m utterly … amazed. Genuinely, amazed at the complexity of the emotionally messy stories you write, and amazed at how you have incorporated your psych knowledge into your stories … And I will tell you all about my thoughts on this, right now.

The emergence of your “reasons and remedies” series allows you to further develop and craft this world in which the characters are each so complex, and still lovable, as individuals.

—I’ll run through the main four really quickly, pretty much rehashing what you’ve already said: Satoru is a human with an addiction that was born from the need to release the pressure put on him by his parents. A storm brewed and the bad influence, Sukuna, shot lightning down, hitting Satoru when he was vulnerable. It’s so sad… Really. Addicts are people too, they were vulnerable people who got lost along the way for reasons that oftentimes weren’t their fault, and I love how you tell one of those addict’s stories. Next, the mc/reader in symptoms and causes: she’s a brilliant, hardworking student who falls for somebody so intoxicatingly intense and bright— Only to find out that Satoru is a flickering flame, threatening to go out at anytime because of his addiction. She’s in over her head because the situation is so damn complex, risky, *private* out of necessity. Next, Suguru is a man who has always been somebody else’s anchor, always looking after Satoru like a mother hen (albeit, a mother hen with regrets, as he did enable Satoru for some time— but can you really blame him for not knowing how to perfectly help Satoru? Who the hell has all the answers exactly when problems arise? Not making excuses for behaviors, not saying we should settle for less than what is necessary and good, but I am offering understanding and compassion for them.) Suguru is somebody so entangled in the web of Satoru, and he’s lost at sea when both the sun he orbits (Satoru) and the woman he’s had long-lasting feelings for, attach to one another in a way he’s not privy to. The reader in r&r (of which I confess, I do not know, as I’ve only read S&C), has developed real feelings with a man whose heart isn’t entirely open to her, as Suguru is caught in the sticky web of his past, and the people still in his life. …All of that to say: Nobody is one dimensional, no character is used to further some plot point or a different character. Each person has their valid, sometimes convoluted struggles.

When you say that, “behavior rarely follows such clean logic” and when you say, “human emotions are messy,” —you have to know, Nici, I just keeled over. Because YOU GEEEETTTT ITTTTT. People have baggage. People carry a lot with them, and oftentimes, that baggage will fuck up the potential for a healthy, real connection and love. No matter if you’re a good person or not, baggage is baggage, and it can and will hurt those around you if you take the wrong step. And yet, despite how badly we can fuck up, and how much guilt we feel, and no matter how irredeemable somebody may think they are, or of others think they are rotten to the core, it’s important for everybody to remember that we’re all trying our best here. This is a belief I have, one of my moral convictions: people who have been hurt have baggage; They are messy humans, but that doesn’t mean they’re not deserving of understanding and love (in fact, I might argue they need it more). Good people can make mistakes. Emotionally messy people can still be good people. // I don’t blame people for making mistakes when they don’t know better, couldn’t have known better. We know what we live, and we live what we know (I coined this from somebody else!) I think it’s really about how you learn from your mistakes, make amends, and try to do better. I think there is nuance to humans, and behaviors. Rigid, black and white morality is a weird concept to me.

Brief information about me, related to what I’ve just said: I remember clearly texting my first and only “ex” that “this situation is so messy.” —It was so confusing, because we were breaking each other’s hearts despite us both being good people, and caring about each other. We both didn’t know HOW to handle such a complex situation. I had so much trauma that I didn’t even know about until it came out, my ex had their own issues, and we were only 18. Life is just— so fucking complicated and confusing and emotionally abusive at times.

—My heart was absolutely tearing at the seams when I read your reply to this ask— because the story you’re writing depicts such emotionally intense, yet realistic, situations. The whole, “right person, wrong time,” thing especially has me screaming, because oh my god, while I haven’t read r&r at all yet, I know how BADLY those situations hurt. How real the connection is, and how badly we fuck it up when the time isn’t right— when *we* can’t be the partner the other deserves, because we’re so caught up in our own web of struggles and pain. r&r Suguru… seems so relatable, I think, after reading that answered ask of yours. He deserves compassion, and I also hope he tries his best to do the next best thing in such a hard situation.

Nici, my DMs are always open for u!! If you ever wanna discuss your stories more, or other life things, or psych & characters! I’m so curious about where you got your particular curiosity for these concepts from…

Also, I cannot wait to see, and then think about, how your stories unfold, and the answers to the questions you’re exploring.

Lastly… r&r reader appreciating and understanding suguru in such a gentle way, even when his heart isn’t hers? Stop that right now, I’m screaming! /j. That’s so me coded, I cannot wait to indulge in that story. I have to catch up with S&C first :) cause I think you said r&r’s story spins off after chapter 12 or 13.

Thank you for writing the stories that you write. If you ever published them as novels (and like, changed the JJK characters names), well, I sincerely believe you could do that :)

And hello again, I'll bore you a little more with my commentary on the new installment of "r&r" and then I'll shut up until the next chapter)

You know what my first urge was when reading the unfolding situation at the party? Of course I didn't. I wanted to take Gojo's hand, yes, yes Gojo, and go for a drink with him. And I don't care if it's juice, coffee, vodka or wine. The r&r reader and Satoru were like a little extra at that house party. The whole bacchanalia that unfolded in front of the reader, that she witnessed and was dragged into, screamed that she needed to get out of there as soon as possible.

And if I've already started talking about Satoru, my heart went stone cold when he kneeled down in front of his girlfriend. It was painful for him, painful for me as a reader, and shameful for what the s&c reader was doing. It was just too much.

Back to Suguru and the reader. Maybe I'm too susceptible, but that's what I read au stories like this for, isn't it, to experience it as if it were real? That's right.

Everything Suguru does: every movement of his hand on her skin, every look, thought and feeling he has makes me take a step back from him without giving him a chance.

The r&r reader feels like she blames herself for having feelings for him every time, and she blames herself because he has feelings for another girl. She thinks it's none of her business, but no. She's already caught up in the story, and it's already her business when she could feel him closer than just her doctor. She can't blame herself for this and put herself on a lower level because Suguru has feelings for s&c. Those are his problems. He's now causing problems for a girl who has clear signs of crush on him and she's blaming herself for it. Why should she blame herself?

It seems to me that because of this whole situation, the r&r reader's self-esteem will be shaken, unequivocally. Because she constantly feels like she's being compared to someone who is considered better. And even the fact that Megumi, omg, yes my quiet, coziest boy, who apparently was also trying to have a crush on the r&r reader, instantly fell in love with the s&c reader at the party, what kind of woman is this that makes everyone fall in love with herself and feel inferior to others? I had a normal attitude towards reader s&c, but after reading the last two chapters I changed my attitude towards her. Selfishness of the highest degree this girl has.

Satoru sacrificed a lot of things for her, his career, reputation, health and his future. Suguru for her sake is also ready for a lot, stepping over himself, so that only she was good, and God forbid the girl did not feel bad. And what does this girl do in the end? Goes to Naoya's party, gets drunk at it, and almost strips for all to see? Oh, poor Higuruma, because it seems even he's going to have another problem after all that night at Naoya's house.

The garden scene was tough. Suguru who is running away from himself, running away from the dissonance that consumes him, and then again he gets a chance to have his mind clouded by the r&r girl who is willing to be a life jacket for him.

At this point, I get the impression that Geto likes to suffer through his conflicting feelings, to live in this drama. I'm waiting for the moment when he finally has an epiphany.

You know how to intrigue with plot twists, and that's a very good quality for a writer. Maybe I'm not as nice as usual today, but apparently I'm really not under the best impression of this whole situation. I feel sorry for Suguru, I feel sorry for Satoru, I feel sorry for the reader who got in over her head but I don't feel sorry for s&c. Sorry, the roulette wheel turned in her side 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thank you for the chapter, thank you for reading my thoughts, you should really write books with stories like this. You write well.

first of all, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts ! it truly means the world to me when readers engage so deeply with the characters and their dynamics. your perspective has given me a lot to think about.

regarding the s&c reader, i intended to portray her not as selfish, but as someone who's become almost blind to anything outside her consuming relationship with satoru and her paralyzing fear of losing him to his addiction. she's essentially trapped in an isolation of her own making, unable to tell the little family she has left or friends about satoru's addiction, with only suguru as a confidant. and she's painfully aware that even turning to him is a selfish act, adding another layer to her isolation.

her actions, like going to naoya's party, stem from a desperate need for control in a situation where she feels increasingly helpless watching the man she loves self-destruct. she's not deliberately inconsiderate of others' feelings or satoru's sacrifices, rather, she's so caught up in this intense, codependent, potentially tragic dynamic that she's lost perspective on everything else. we see this in how she puts everything aside for him, how she tries to help him get clean despite knowing it causes him physical pain, and how she carries the constant fear of his addiction killing him while keeping his secret.

she's caught in an impossible position, wanting to save him while simultaneously enabling him, just as he both wants to protect her and risks dragging her down with him. it's not a healthy relationship by any means, but that was never my intention to portray. i wanted to show the hurt, the bad, the ugly, the codependency.

your observation about how the other characters react to her is true in a way. with megumi, while r&r reader (or rather nobara) jokingly interprets it as him falling in love, what that moment actually represents is megumi feeling, perhaps for the first time, truly seen and understood. as we know, r&r reader and her friends are "outsiders" who only have each other, and no one shares megumi's nerdy academic interests quite like s&c reader did in that fleeting moment. and it's not about s&c reader specifically. it could have been any person who could keep up with his technical knowledge, and megumi would have reacted the same way.

it's worth noting that in the r&r story, we're seeing this through r&r reader's subjective pov. so similarly, r&r reader's negative view of s&c reader is colored by her own emotional entanglement with suguru, so our narrator in this story is filtering everything through their own emotional needs and fears. and that's the intention behind it, why i wanted to write that scene in both stories form different viewpoints. the next s&c chapter will show these same scenes from their perspective, potentially shedding new light on these interactions.

regarding r&r reader and suguru, i completely agree that r&r reader shouldn't blame herself for her feelings. they happened naturally and organically through their interactions. and yes, theoretically, suguru should either commit fully to pursuing something with her or maintain clear boundaries. but behavior rarely follow such clean logic.

consider suguru's perspective, he's struggling with long-held feelings for someone else while experiencing genuine attraction and connection with r&r reader. is he handling it perfectly? no. but he's also not deliberately trying to hurt anyone. he's caught in that very human experience of feeling drawn to someone new while still carrying old feelings, and not knowing how to navigate that.

the garden scene demonstrates how both characters are using each other as an escape from their respective pains, even while knowing it may not be healthy. and when the kiss happens, and it's not just suguru taking advantage of r&r reader's feelings, nor is it just r&r reader trying to be his rebound. it's two people who have developed a genuine connection, who are drawn to each other despite knowing it's complicated, acting on their attraction in a moment of shared vulnerability.

and the important thing is, that they both are aware. both of them acknowledge that this situation isn't ideal, but give in anyway. and while this will likely lead to awkwardness and hurt, it might also serve as a catalyst for change.

what makes their dynamic particularly interesting is how both are acutely aware they're engaging in something complicated, possibly stupid, yet can't seem to help themselves. r&r reader knows she's falling for someone in love with another woman, while suguru knows he's crossing professional boundaries and potentially using her as an escape. the tragedy lies in the genuine potential for something meaningful between them, but timing and circumstances make it nearly impossible.

i see your perspective about suguru potentially choosing to live in this drama, but I think it's more complex than that. his situation reflects a very real struggle, being caught between what the heart wants and what we think is right. here's a guy who:

watched his best friend fall in love with someone

developed feelings for that same person

sees them hurting each other

knows about his friend's addiction issues

carries guilt about enabling some of it

and now finds himself drawn to someone new while still carrying those old feelings

is he wallowing in drama? maybe. but isn't that incredibly human? we're talking about someone who has spent his entire life following satoru's lead, from choosing the same high school clubs to following him into neurosurgery. suguru's entire identity has been built around being "satoru's friend," "satoru's colleague," the responsible one who cleans up satoru's messes.

now suddenly satoru has this whole part of his life where suguru isn't needed, worse, where he's actively excluded. being left behind by someone who has been your compass for decades isn't just painful, it's disorienting. he's having to figure out who he is without satoru.

his attraction to r&r reader while still carrying feelings for s&c reader isn't him deliberately creating drama. we often stay in painful situations because they're familiar, because we care about the people involved, because untangling ourselves seems more painful than staying.

look around, how many people do you know who are stuck in similar situations? the friend who can't get over their ex even years later, the person who keeps going back to a toxic relationship, the one who can't move on despite knowing they should. none of these people want to suffer. they're caught in emotional patterns they don't know how to break free from. because human emotions are messy and don't follow logical rules. so while i agree suguru needs to work through his feelings, characterizing it as him "liking to suffer" feels a bit reductive. he's just human. making mistakes, feeling conflicted, trying to figure things out. however messily. the "epiphany" you're waiting for isn't as simple as just choosing to move on. when do complicated feelings just disappear because we want them to? emotions often don't work like that.

and of course, i could just write that. have suguru suddenly realize everything, make them all happy, and fill the rest of the story with pure fluff and joy. but that's not the story i want to write.

coming back to r&r and suguru's relationship. what i wanted to express is, that r&r reader offers suguru understanding and acceptance he doesn't get elsewhere, while he sees and appreciates parts of her that others overlook. their connection is both tender and careful, yet explosive in its own way. so this raises the questions about the nature of emotional authenticity, can feelings be genuine even if they arise from unhealthy circumstances?

and this all ties back to larger themes i want to explore in the story, about the complexity of human relationships, how we can simultaneously help and hurt those we care about, how love can be both destructive and healing, and how sometimes the "right" thing and the "healthy" thing aren't necessarily the same.

so thank you again for your thoughtful analysis. it's helped me see where i might need to make certain character motivations clearer in the writing.

i know this story might not be for everyone, it's not your typical fanfiction where characters are clearly good or bad, or where relationships follow expected patterns. i deliberately write these characters as deeply flawed, sometimes messy humans who make mistakes, act selfishly, hurt others while trying to protect themselves, and sometimes do the wrong things for what they believe are the right reasons. they're not perfect, and they're not meant to be. they're human in all their complexity, capable of both great and terrible things, of selflessness and selfishness, often in the same breath. the relationships i write aren't always healthy or ideal, but they're raw and real in their own way.

i recognize that this story might create discomfort or even anger in some readers. the situations and choices these characters make might challenge our ideas of how people "should" behave, or trigger our own experiences with similar situations. that cognitive dissonance, that gap between what we want these characters to do and what they actually do, can be frustrating.

but that's precisely the point. either engage with these dynamics and reflect on why they make you uncomfortable, or recognize that this type of story isn't for you. and that's okay.

lastly, while i do love discussing these themes and hearing your perspectives, please understand that between my full-time job, my studies, and having a private life outside of tumblr my responses might sometimes take a bit longer and leaving rude comments on other posts will not make me respond faster.

#lostfracturess #symptoms and causes #remedies and reasons #fic recs #m’s recs #m discusses #m talks #philosopy #morality

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books-and-catears · 4 years ago

Note

I liked the one about a ghost MC it was a really cute idea! I wanted to request something similar, where the MC who has a the appearance of the Japanese slit mouthed woman. She is a regular human and you can decide if she got the scar's from an accident or not, but she always where's a face mask to hide it and eats alone rather then with the brothers. When she's asked why they say "People can't eat when I they see my face." But one day she finally trusts the brothers enough to show her face.

OH MY GOD I KNOW THIS GHOST. If I'm not wrong, this ghost is called the Kuchisake Onna, kuchi meaning mouth.

This is so wholesome I love it. Your asks are so adorable :')

It has been forever since the accident. And yet the scar makes it feel like yesterday. Two scars running up towards your cheeks, making it look like you're constantly smiling. You hated mirrors at this point, without your mask especially.

You hear loud talking from the dining room downstairs as you stare at your meal on your study table. When was the last time you ate a meal with other people?

"What do you mean you won't eat with us MC?" Mammon and Asmo parotted every other day.

"People can't eat when they see my face." You left with that reply, refusing to answer the follow up questions.

Yours was a face only a mother could love, they said. Some screamed, some smiled sympatheticallly, the others nervously scattered away from the last time you tried to eat out by yourself. The restaurant requested you to leave since they were losing customers.

You walk up to the stairway, watching the brothers in their usual chaos. Maybe - just maybe, they won't be repulsed. Surely they've seen more horrifying things than you?

"Um..." You cleared your throat loudly. All of them stopped and looked at you. You usually never showed up until half an hour after meals.

But today you called out to the one of them. "Would you mind eating with me tonight...?"

Lucifer

"Of course I wouldn't mind MC."

He promptly got up with his plate as if he was already prepped for this day. Swiftly follows you into your room.

He sat down across you and began eating normally. "Thank you for inviting me in MC. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Nothing just..." You said untying your mask. "It felt like a good day." The mask fell off your face into your lap.

You paused and stared at Lucifer. He only looked shocked for a split second before a hidden rage clouded beneath his eyes. "Did someone deliberately-"

"No it was an accident. I was getting my teeth fixed when the lights went out and I moved. And something cut through my- well you can see." You explained.

"I see. Well that's quite unfortunate." Lucifer said and began picking at his plate.

You felt uneasy as chewed your food."You can leave if you feel repulsed. I wouldn't force you to-"

"No such thing MC. I was just thinking of consulting Satan and Solomon. Surely they know of spells that can heal your scars if you want them gone." Lucifer replied promptly. "And it's going to take a lot more than scars to scare us demons away."

"Lucifer...thank you." You said quietly.

"If possible I'd like to eat dinner with you from now on, MC. Frankly it's much calmer and it's a relief from my brothers."

After a long time, you laugh without your mask on.

Mammon

"I'll be right there, MC!"

Hurriedly grabs whatever food he has making a mess and jumps to his feet. He is in such a hurry, it's a miracle he didn't drop half of his dinner.

He plops down across the table from you, grinning ear to ear. "Of course you'd choose the Great Mammon to eat with ya!"

You nodded and chuckled, "Of course. But would you choose to eat with me?" Your pulled your mask away from your face.

His eyes went wide and then watery in the same instant. Is he..crying? "I-Im sorry..." You feel horrible so you hurry and tie the mask back up. Mammon grabs your hands and holds them down.

"I'm not crying stupid human! I'm just...you..you must have been in pain..when that happened." He said. "Who did this to you..."

"It's okay it was an accident, Mammon." You try to calm him down.

"Then why do you hide it? It's not even your fault!" Mammon said pouting. You looked down, "People get uncomfortable..."

Mammon shot up from his chair. "WHO DARE MAKE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT IT? Show me I'll get them all! Noone messes with my human! I'm yer protector ain't I?! You never have to wear that thing around me!"

You blushed as he moved forward and hugged you, burying your face into his shoulder. "Mammon..."

You knew he was the best protector out there.

Leviathan

"I'm coming right away, don't worry MC!"

Stumbles around with his plate at your sudden invitation. His day has come. He is the chosen one.

He struggles to sit down, feeling estatic and nervous at the same time. "I didn't think you'd want to eat with me of all people, MC..."

"After tonight, maybe you'll feel that way about me Levi..." You said, taking off your mask. His face lit up as he let out a loud "Woahhh!"

Thinking he was scared you tried to hide it again before he screamed, "MC you look just like my favourite character from that horror romance anime "I fell for my best friend's scarred smile! That's so cool!"

You blink at him, blushing. What is with him and his oddly specific anime names!? Levi was oblivious to your shock ,going off at his own tangent. "You could pull off the perfect cosplay, come to my room tomorrow I can design it for you and then I'll make my own to go with it and we can go to the next convention-"

"Levi Levi calm down you'll run out of breath!" You couldn't hold in your laughter.

He stared at you awestruck,"So cute...why would you hide that cute face MC?" You shake your head, "Not everyone sees it as cute Levi."

"Well sucks for them to be such stupid normies." Levi blushed and scoffed.

Levi was the best friend everyone deserves and you were glad to have him.

Satan

"I'd be delighted to join you MC."

Was slightly taken aback at first but quickly composes himself and his dinner and follows you. His pace faster than usual.

Pulls out your chair for you like a gentleman and sits down himself. You smile and blush at the action. "So how was your day MC?" He asks like a gentleman, avoiding the elephant in the room, choosing it normalise it. You let the mask fall off your face.

"Oh..." Satan sat up straight, his shoulders stiff, his eyes going wide in anger. "Who dared to-"

"No no no Satan it was an accident!" You had to explain the whole thing for him to calm down. Then he nodded and held out his palm. "May I see how the deep the scar is MC?"

That was new. Noone has wanted to touch your scars before. When you nod, he reaches out and runs his fingers softly across your scars. "Hmm don't worry. They're not too deep. I can have them gone in a matter of days. That is if you'd like to me to."

It's like he knew. As much as you hated that scar, it kind of helped you see people's true intentions. You looked down unsure. Satan held your hand. "It's normal to get attached to scars you have for too long. None of us here will treat you any differently with or without it."

You smiled at him and held one of his fingers playfully. He laughed, his cheeks turning pink. "Ah now that's a smile I'd love to see everyday. May I have dinner with you more often MC?"

"Of course." His words and his presence were always calming to you.

Asmodeus

"I was wondering when you'd ask MC!"

Daintily picks up all of things and paces after you. He was excited but he restrained himself but he didn't want to scare you off.

Sits down close to you, smiling gleefully. He's just happy to be there with you. Grabs something off your plate with a fork and holds it upto your mouth. "MC come here let me feed you!"

It was probably the most nerve wracking to open your mask in front of him. The Avatar of Lust, the most beautiful being in Hell, and you- ugh, what's the point? You've come this far, let's get it over with. You put your mask down, bite off the potato off his fork.

You'd think Asmo would probably gasp and act all dramatic and hysterical. But instead he cupped your face, his eyes filled with worry and tenderness. "MC how long have you had this...?"

"A little over three years." You answered honestly. Asmo looked like he was about to cry. "You've been hiding away your pretty face from people for three years..." Asmo pulled you in a hug. "Noone deserves that. It's too lonely."

"Oh I'd hardly call it pretty-" Before you can even retort, he is glaring and pouting at you, holding your shoulders.

"I think I know beauty a little better than you, MC. And I say you're gorgeous and I'm going to eat with you everyday now." Asmo huffed to which you laughed.

Everyone deserves a hypeman like Asmo in their lives.

Beelzebub

"Oh? Me? Sure MC!"

Is surprised but happily goes along with you with all his food. You know he loves you when he gets midway from eating just to eat in your room.

He sits across, already muching away at his food. "Thank you for asking me to eat with you MC." You nod and tentatively take your mask off, trying not to draw too much attention for it.

Beel looks up shocked, his mouth full of food but he stopped chewing. He involuntarily reaches out to touch you, "Does it hurt MC?"

You shake your head. "It's years old Beel. It's okay. " Beel looks genuinely relieved at that and goes back to eating again. He doesn't seem bothered by it at all after that.

"Say MC will you be free next week? I could use your help in the new workout I'm doing. I need to train particular muscles for the big game they said." He switched to a whole new topic just like that. "Also this means I get to eat with you every day right?"

You felt warm inside. You were more than just your scar and Beel made you feel like that by hardly saying anything at all.

Belphegor

"...me huh? No I wouldn't mind."

Has a smug grin on his face as he gathers up his meal and slowly heads upward with you, making sure his brothers see how you chose him over the others. Cheeky cow.

He sits leaning into you cause he's too lazy to sit up straight. "So what's the special occasion MC? A face reveal?" Wow this one is direct.

He is staring right at you, as you pull off the mask slowly, thinking if it was a bad idea. His eyes grow wide for a split second before his fingers are already near your mouth feeling the scars.

"Deliberate or accident?" He asks. "Accident." You answer. He nods, "Good. I'm too tired today, wouldn't be able to take appropriate revenge." His fingers never leave your face.

"Is that why you keep it covered? You're embarrassed of it?" He asks. You think about it for a while. "I think I accepted it, it just seemed to make people uncomfortable and scared, if I smiled or opened my mouth to eat." You answer.

He smirked. "Then smile more. Let their cowardly selves feel uncomfortable. It's their problem that they can't see how cute your smile is."

That was surprisingly thoughtful. You smiled at him. "Thanks..."

He smirked back, "Also I'm going to be eating here from now on. My brothers annoy me."

He's cheeky but he has a good heart. Smiling never felt so easy.

#obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me levi #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me mammon #obey me asmo #obey me fluff #obey me imagine #obey me game #obey me angst #obey me angst fic

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junisfics · 4 years ago

Text

All This Time — Armin Arlert (3)

series masterlist

Pairing: Armin Arlert x Reader

Word Count: 7.6k

Series Summary: Reader messages her best friend Armin late one night while she's drunk and needy, but will she remember the things she said to him in the morning, and if she does... will she regret it?

Part Summary: A friendship has been destroyed, but in exchange for something more

Content: Smut / Nsfw 18+

Content Warnings: Oral (M and F Receiving), Fingering, Unprotected Sex

Armin wasn’t a virgin. He lost his virginity his senior year of high school, and since then, he’s been with only one other girl. You were a little different though, you had a few more people under your belt… literally.

But none of those people mattered right now, neither of your amount of experience mattered; because you were with him, and he was with you. And both of you were fucking dizzy with the way you were kissing each other like it was your first kisses all over again.

Armin couldn’t keep his mouth off of you once he latched himself on. He had his hands holding your face against his, sucking on your lips and licking into your mouth as he stumbles forward into your body and backing you up to God knows where.

And you had your hands fisting his stupid white tee-shirt and pulling him closer and closer, being the cause of his stumbling forward. But you just couldn’t get enough of him, you couldn’t get enough of the feeling of having his soft lips against your own or his hands on your body.

You were whimpering into his mouth, gasping against his lips, kissing him back with so much desire and so much pent-up emotion that little noises of arousal escaped his own lips.

He was so desperate for you, so desperate for this moment right here. His entire fucking relationship with you he’s wanted to have you as his, wanted to taste you and feel you and make you cry out for him. He was so stupid in his fantasy that he couldn’t even see that you wanted the same.

You tasted so softly of mint toothpaste, mint toothpaste, and the sweetest sugar, and Armin couldn’t get enough. His tongue was sliding over yours so sensually, kissing each other with open mouths and swallowing the other’s pretty moans.

Fucking hell, you were moaning and wet over him kissing you, how pathetic were you?

“Armin, my room — please,” You whimper, dropping his shirt and occupying your hands with sliding under the recently dropped fabric to feel up the taut skin of his abdomen.

“Shit, okay,” He breathes, “C’mere.”

Armin leans into you a little to be able to get a good grip on the backs of your thighs before lifting you up and wrapping them around his waist. You audibly gasp as he does so, finally realizing the amount of strength he truly has.

You remember him lifting you last night, or did you jump into his arms? You don’t remember. But you do remember being in his arms, in a position quite similar to now, but you were too drunk to notice and admire the way his biceps flex as he holds you up, the way his fingers dig into the plush fat of your ass, and thighs, the feeling of his hard cock pressing into your needy cunt.

You were too fucking drunk to realize any of it, but now you’re sober… and you do. And you feel him pressing and grinding against you as he continues kissing you so roughly that you’re surprised it’s actually Armin.

You never knew he could get like this. You never knew he could be so unintentionally dominating, or so sensual with his actions. And now you never want him to stop.

He carries you, just like last night, to your room and lays you gently on the bed. He never takes his lips off of yours, he’s too afraid to, he has you now and he never wants to pull himself away.

He keeps his hips between your thighs as he brings both of you down to the bed and rests your head on your pillow, taking his hands off your thighs and moving them to brace himself upright on either side of your head. And your hands slide up his chest, under his shirt, feeling over his warm and tense skin and sighing at the way his muscles dip under your fingers.

You’ve seen Armin shirtless before, and you’ve lingered your glances over his lean muscles and milky skin, you’ve gotten lost and dizzy in the way his arms and stomach flexed while the two of you played beach volleyball or water polo on family trips. But feeling over his skin, and feeling his stomach ripple under your fingertips was far more intense than watching them.

“I — I always forget how strong you are,” You breathe, keeping your eyes closed and lips parted as Armin rests his forehead against yours.

He laughs softly as he pants equally so, trying to catch his breath in the few seconds you give him away from your lips. He felt like you were trying to empty his lungs from all their air, trying to fucking kill him with the way you were touching him.

“Yeah?” He asks, not trying to tease, but genuinely curious to hear more.

“Mhm. ‘always forget that you… are built like this…” Your voice goes a little quieter as you’ve suddenly gone shy with what you’re saying. But your nimble fingers keep exploring his skin, keep sliding over his abdomen and sides, and getting lost in his skin.

“Take — take this off, please,” You whisper, grabbing ahold of the hem of his shirt and pulling it up to his torso until he aids you, lifting up off of you and back onto his calves as he grabs the back neckline and tugs the white tee off of his body.

And the moment he does so, you only melt further into the sheets. Your eyes scan over the broad expanse of silky smooth skin of his chest, over the curves of his shoulders and biceps, taking in the freckle or two that you recognize on his collarbones and forearms.

He’s so beautiful, so fucking beautiful. You hate yourself for never telling him that you believed so until last night.

“I meant it… last night… when I said that you’re really attractive.” You reach out to him, his distance becoming too far, and he listens to your silent request and brings his body back over you, “I don’t — don't know why I never told you…”

Armin was blushing now, his face turning hot and red and the blush is seeping down into his neck and chest as you continue to stare over his body. And he only heats up more when you look up into his eyes with your own. It’s like you're staring into the depths of his soul and reading into his insecurity.

“Thank you,” Armin would continue and say the same for you, but he knows you already know that. He knows that you know that he thinks you're beautiful, he tells you all the time.

When he’s watching you get ready for a party or a gathering, he always makes sure to tell you that you’re stunning… even before you even ask him in confirmation.

Armin swallows before he brings his head back down to kiss you once more, this time with a little less energy. His lips meet yours softly, sensually, and you allow his tongue to slip in equally as so. It makes your heart swell and stomach turn as he kisses you slowly, almost seductively. And somehow, when it was like this, it made you far more buzzed than before had.

You were already whimpering into his mouth, hips stuttering and circling around nothing as you try and get any kind of friction between the two of you. But Armin was seated just a little too high up off of you to where you were pathetically grinding against air and not him.

As you were struggling for a release of tension, Armin was enjoying your little struggle. He savored the way you were getting so needy and desperate with your movements; the way your hands were sliding over his shoulders so shakily, the way you were already struggling to kiss him back, or how you wrapped your legs around him to try and bring him closer. He felt so wanted, so needed… by you.

His cock was so hard in his sweats, throbbing and aching and only getting any sort of relief when your hips bucked high enough against his. So, eventually, despite his nerves and in your favor, Armin brings himself closer between your hips and allows himself to grind his cock against your barely clothed cunt.

And he’s so glad he chose so because the pretty little noise that leaves your lips and the sweet sexual friction he gets as you reactively grind against his cock is almost too much for him to handle.

You’re moaning in his mouth, getting sloppy with your kisses because the head of his cock is rutting itself up against your needy clit so nicely and his tongue is sliding against yours so smoothly. And His body is such a nice weight above you, even though he won’t let himself drop nearly his full weight.

He holds himself up by bracketing his elbows by your head, his lips now close enough to yours that he doesn’t need to crane his neck down to kiss you. He can kiss you steadily now that his arms aren’t shaking from holding his cock off of you, and his legs aren't shaking from not receiving any relief. And even though you're having trouble giving anything back due to how overwhelming it is, Armin’s keeping the kiss fluid.

He doesn’t want this to be quick, he doesn’t want it rushed. He doesn’t mind if it's with fervor or with energy, but he wants this to be drawn out and long. He wants to take his time with you, and he wants you to take your time with him; to be able to savor the feeling of your skin and your lips and your touch, to have enough time to memorize it in case he never gets it again. He wants to fuck you good and slow until you're both lightheaded from the lazy tempo and are swallowing down each other's whimpers and whines.

Armin trails his kisses down your jaw, letting his tongue be guided by his lips and peak out to get little tastes of your skin. He nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck as he savors your skin, his ear next to your mouth as he’s able to hear every hitch on your breath or little whimper that escapes your throat as he nips and sucks at the fragile flesh.

Your fingers snake their way into his hair as his mouth latches onto your pulse point, and you tug on the pretty blonde strands, nails scratching his scalp and drawing out little groans from him as you do so. Your back is sent into a cute arch as goosebumps freckle over your skin and Armin can feel your entire body shaking beneath him.

Armin keeps going down, down, down, satisfying his need to feel your skin between his teeth, until he reaches the low swooping neckline of your tank top. And when he finally feels his chin hitting fabric, he pulls away, but only to look up to you and take the hem of your top in his right hand.

“Can I take this off?” He asks, keeping eye contact as he shimmies further down your body so his face is comfortably in line with your chest.

“Yeah,” You nod with your voice breathy.

The moment you give him an answer, he’s lifting the thin fabric up to your stomach and pressing kisses against the soft skin as he does so. He continues pulling it upwards until your bare chest is revealed to him and you take your own liberty to slide the shirt off your head.

Armin almost groans at the sight of your exposed chest and is suddenly very thankful that you hadn’t put on anything more to cover yourself this morning. Your nipples were pebbled by arousal and your chest and stomach had a glowing sheen of perspiration over the top that made the entire situation ten times more alluring.

“Do you remember… that day we were at the beach?” He speaks softly like he’s lost in the way the flesh of your chest gives as his hands come. His eyes are glued to you, and if you weren’t as equally lost in him, you almost could have laughed at his expression.

“And you were wearing that stupid baby blue bikini,” He continues, speaking breathily.

“Yeah, did you — did you like it?” You ask him, looking up at him through your lashes as he continues to play with your tits.

“Yeah,” He nods, “I… got off to you that night. 'couldn't get you out of my head.”

He doesn't give you a chance to respond before he's kissing you again, only your lips a few times before he's trailing back down your neck and to your chest.

He attaches his lips to the underside of your left breast, the other one being taken in his right hand. And he wasn’t rough with bites or sucks, but he was lazy with it like he was trying to ingrain the feeling of the soft supple flesh in his mouth into his brain. He was running his tongue over what he's taken into his mouth, sending shivers and shakes down your entire body while his other hand softly, so very softly, massages your other breast between his nimble fingers.

He was so incredibly gentle with you, but the effect that gentleness had was so great and was hitting you so hard that by the time he had finally ran his tongue over your nipple, you were softly moaning and grinding your hips up against his abdomen with the same amount of desperation that you were before.

Armin could tell that you wanted more from him, you wanted his mouth and hands over your entire body and not just your chest. But he needs to make up for all the time he’s lost by waiting for himself and for you. He has to draw this out and be able to do everything he’s ever dreamed of doing with you, to you, for you.

So, he’s going to play with your pretty tits and slide his tongue over your chest until he’s content and thinks he’s equated it to the time he’s lost. He won't stop unless you tell him to, or you're verbally begging him for more.

“Armin —” You breathe as your fingers take a tighter hold on his hair.

He looks up to you for a moment, watching your saliva sheened lips part as he releases your nipple from his mouth before tending to the other one the same as before. He leaves your left breast covered in his slick saliva, nipple almost sore from the way he was teasing you, and lets his cute little tongue escape his lips again to slide over and wet the other as he looks up to you with those big blue eyes.

And you were pathetically wet underneath your panties from that stimulation alone.

You knew Armin had at least a little bit of experience, but you didn't know he would be so damn attentive to your body and so skilled with the way he’s doing so. It isn’t a surprise though, it’s Armin for christ's sake, of course, he’s going to go out of his way to drive you crazy and he’s going to do it to the best of his abilities.

His fingers of his left-hand slide up your saliva-slicked breast to take your nipple between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it between the two quite gently as he continues to flick over the other with his tongue.

“Armin, oh my God. I — fuck,” You whimper, completely in awe that you could feel this way through nipple stimulation.

God, if you weren't careful, you were pretty sure you might be able to cum from this.

Your cunt was dripping and clenching around nothing beneath your panties as he continued, and it was driving you insane. You needed more, you needed to feel his stupid tongue inside you, needed his fingers inside you, needed his cock inside you.

“I — fuck, Armin, more, need — fuck — need you to touch me,” You pant, sitting up on your elbows as he finally takes his mouth off your chest.

“What do you need?” He asks, but he seems to already know the answer, for his hands slide down from your chest and to your hips before sneaking his fingers under your waistband.

You gasp softly at the tugging feeling you get from him pulling on your panties, instinctually lifting your hips slightly to allow him to continue. You look down to him with your lips parted open, nodding slightly to encourage him.

“Is this okay?” He says, a little softer, stopping his movements before he fully exposes you.

“Yeah, please.”

Armin can feel his stomach lurch and cock twitch in his pants at the little whimpering beg you let out. And it only does it again when he slides himself further down the bed and gets a good look at the cute little darkened patch that’s formed in your grey boy-short panties from the wetness leaking from your cunt. And, once again, Armin’s so glad you hadn’t chosen to put on any more clothes before he returned.

Then, he’s pulling them down, completely stripping you bare to him. But you don’t feel vulnerable like you usually do, well maybe a little, but with Armin it’s different. With Armin, you feel safe and homely, you feel like it’s always supposed to have been like this. Because not only does he look at you like you’re something to ravish, but something to cherish.

Armin can’t stop himself from muttering a soft “Fuck,” at the sight of you so wet and needy for him.

You knew you were going to be aroused, but from his reaction, you didn’t know you were going to be to such an extent.

Armin presses a few soft kisses up your legs, skipping over your center, as he makes his way back up to your face. He takes you by surprise by catching your lips in his again, cupping your face in his left hand, and caressing your jaw as he steals your breath away once more. He comes to your right side, bringing the arm that’s attached to the hand on your face down with him until his elbow braces him up and his hand cups the back of your head. His right-hand slides and skims over your stomach before dipping down your navel and fingers hovering over you.

He can feel your breathing jump as his fingers brush over your clit, can feel your hips jerk against his arm once he makes that sweet contact. And it’s almost pathetic how you choke back a whimper at such soft touches, but it was like everything was oversensitized to the max.

He lets his fingers apply the lightest of pressure, almost waiting for you to lift your hips and meet him halfway as he begins to circle your clit slowly. He’s bordering teasing with his touches, even though it’s unintentional; just using the pads of his fingertips to massage you gently.

Your mouth is dropped open ever so slightly while Armin rests his forehead against your temple as he plays with your clit. You’re sucking in little pants of air as your eyes flutter shut at the waves of pleasure that wash over you. Your right arm comes up to wrap around his and grab ahold of his bicep on the outside, feeling the muscle flex under your fingertips as he continues to please you.

“Shit, more. Want them inside,” You whisper, opening your eyes to only see his as he looks over the way your pretty face twists in pleasure.

Armin looks into your eyes as his fingers slide a little lower, feeling over the slick that’s gathered at your cunt, cursing softly, then keeping eye contact as he slides two fingers inside you. He groans softly as his digits are engulfed by your slick warmth, and you do the same as you feel his long fingers fill you up so nicely.

Your entire body goes weak at the sensation, and your hips helplessly grind against his palm as his fingers reach their hilt. You’re gasping and choking on your breath while he dips his head into your neck and resumes kissing the skin there.

He fingers you nice and slow like he’s once again trying to memorize the way your pussy clenches around him, the feeling of the wet heat of your cunt consuming him and sucking him in, so desperate for more, more, more. He loves the way your thighs clamp around his wrist as he curls the tips of his fingers up against you, realizing he’s found your sweet spot and continuing to curl against it every so often to hear the sweet little mewl that leaves your lips as he does so.

He can feel your little nails pressing into the skin of his bicep as you squeeze tighter. And then you’re grabbing his hair with your other hand, tugging him up from your neck to face you, and taking his lips in yours. You’re moaning into his mouth, barely able to kiss him back again. He can feel your chest pressing up against his whenever you arch your back, silently begging him for more.

Armin pulls away from you, using the elbow he was bracing himself on to lift himself away, “Can — fuck — can I go down on you?”

You look up to him as he waits for an answer.

Of course, Armin would want to go down on you, of course, he would. He’s Armin.

“Yes, please,” You nod.

He wastes no time to continue kissing down your body, keeping his fingers inside you and only pulling them out once he’s laying out on the bed with his face in line with your cunt. He’s conveniently bent at the hips, his legs able to hand off the bed so he can kneel on the floor.

He slowly pulls his fingers out of you, keeping his eyes on the way your pussy clenches and stretches around his knuckles as he does so. And he has to hold in a groan as he sees the way his fingers are shiny and glistening with your arousal once they’re fully out of you.

“I always knew that… that you would be the kinda guy to go down on girls.” You chuckle softly as you rise to your elbows, able to see him kneel before you.

Armin looks up to you from between your legs. His hair is slightly disheveled, and there’s a cute pink flush over his nose and cheeks. His pupils are blown wide with lust. He looks absolutely alluring.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He brings his head closer to your center like he’s waiting for your answer before he slides his tongue through you.

“I just — not a lot of guys are willing to actually do it…” You say, now able to feel his breath fanning over your cunt. Armin can see the way your legs twitch with every little breath he takes, he can feel them beginning to squeeze his shoulders.

“Why not?” And he wasn’t teasing you, he seemed genuinely curious.

“I don’t — I don’t know,” You whisper, practically trembling with anticipation

He seems satisfied with your answer and keeps his eyes on you as he grips your thighs and brings his face forward to slide his tongue through your slit. You’re warm against his tongue, and he can taste your slick arousal on it. His tongue feels like silk as he slides over you, dipping the tip of his tongue into your hole before gliding up to flick over your clit.

“Oh god,” Your head falls back on your shoulders, hands clenching into fists as you buck your hips up against his face.

He wasn’t confident with his movements, but he was in no way unsure of them either. He seemed to have at least some experience with what he was doing, but you weren’t anywhere near upset with that. You were his, and he was yours. And you could even say you were glad that he knew what he was doing because it was only making the experience that much better for you.

You could feel your entire body quivering as the pleasure courses through you, stemming from the pit of your stomach. You were getting warmer by the moment, not from physical exertion but from the overwhelming sensations that were flowing through your whole body. Your stomach was contracting and your chest was jerking before you with every little circle of his tongue over your clit.

You let out an audible choked-out moan as you feel his two fingers slide back inside you. You don’t notice how much tighter you’re squeezing them now that his mouth is on you as well. Your little cunt is fluttering around his digits, almost making it hard for him to shirt them around inside you. And every little squeeze he gets translates itself back to his cock, sending it twitching and leaking precum in his sweatpants. And he’s wishing his dick was pushed all the way inside you and it was his length that your little pussy was squeezing so nicely and not his fingers.

Soon, Armin, soon.

“I’m so close, please don’t stop. Armin please, please,” You whine, your back arching and legs trembling and squeezing his shoulders.

Before he allows you to cum, he uses his free hand to lift both of your legs so they rest over his shoulders, your heels digging into the muscles in his back. And that little change in angle has his fingers hitting your sweet spot over and over as his mouth suckles around your clit. And you’re cumming and creaming all over his fingers, cunt spasming around them as he fucks them into you and lets you ride out your orgasm.

“Oh God — Armin,” You shift your weight to one elbow and bring up your right hand to reach out and lace your fingers through his hair once more.

He’s lost himself in the way you gush all over his tongue, the way he flickers his pretty blue eyes up to see your eyebrows furrow together as you keep grinding against his mouth and hand.

Armin can only rut his hips into the side of your bed, wishing that he was fucking his cock into you rather than his fingers, but all good things take time.

Once you’ve come down from your high and Armin’s slipped his fingers out of you, you shift your legs off of his shoulder and let your hand fall from his head and down his arm.

“Want to — wanna suck you off, please.” You say, looking into his eyes as he lifts himself from the floor and hovers back over your body.

“You don’t have to,” He shakes his head softly, leaning over you and cupping your cheek with his left hand… the one that isn’t covered in his spit and your cum.

“Want to — so bad,” You plea, sliding a hand down his chest until you reach the waistband of his sweats. Then, you continue a little further, cupping his length through the fabric, sliding your hand over him gently.

You take your bottom lip between your teeth as you look up at him. His lips are parted as he drops his head slightly to watch your hand palm at his cock. He’s not very convincing when he repeats ‘you don’t have to’ because he’s subtly grinding into your hand and letting out soft moans at the feeling.

“Wanna make you feel good,” You say quietly, looking over his pretty face.

“Fuck, please,” He whimpers… whimpers.

And so you pull your hand away from his cock, push against his chest with both hands until he’s bringing himself up off the edge of the bed, and push him a little farther so you can kneel in front of him. The hardwood hurts your knees, and you know it’ll probably hurt equally as bad later, but you need to feel the weight of him in your mouth.

You hook your fingers around his waistband, tugging both his boxers and his sweatpants down until his cock springs free and slaps against his stomach. And Armin’s just as big as you had expected, nice and long, and his tip a pretty pink; leaking precum down the length of him.

His breath hitches as you take ahold of the base of him in your hand, holding him gently and sizing him up. He’s heavy in your hand, skin warm and slickened with his own arousal that’s dripped down his shaft.

You look into his pretty blue eyes as you jerk him softly, sliding over him and twisting your wrist once you reach his tip. He looks back down to you, burning the image of you knelt in front of him, completely nude, with his cock on your hands into his mind. Your lips swollen and slick with saliva from kissing, your hair askew and so prettily messy.

He’s cursing quietly, his breathing getting all ragged and choked up as you continue. And he finally lets out an audible groan once you close your lips around the head of his cock.

His precum is slightly salty on your tongue, and you suckle on his tip real gently as you swirl your tongue over him.

“Fuck —” He hisses, the sensation building up far too quickly for his liking, but he doesn’t want you to stop just yet.

You take your mouth off of him, but only to lick up the underside of his cock, making sure to slobber on it real nicely until a string of spit connects from the head of him to your lips. And then you allow yourself to slide the length of him into your mouth, taking as much of him as you can and jerking the rest with your hand. He’s heavy on your tongue, and you have to keep yourself from gagging as his tip hits the back of your throat.

“Oh God, oh God — fuck,” He groans, restraining himself from bucking his hips against you and fucking your throat, “Stop, stop, I’m gonna cum,”

But you don’t stop, you keep your mouth on his cock with your lips wrapped tight and cheeks hollowed.

Armin grabs ahold of your hair, completely disregarding his gentle nature, and pulls you back and off of him. You cough on your own spit, sending it dripping down your chin as you look up to him through swelling tears.

He’s panting heavily, looking down at you as he breathes, his cock hovering just in front of your face and dripping with your saliva.

“Can — can I fuck you,” He asks, loosening his grip on your hair and sliding his hand down the side of your head to cup your cheek.

You lean into his touch, savoring the warmth, and nodding your head softly as you close your mouth and swallow the accumulated spit, “Yeah,”

Armin’s gentle once more as he leans down, taking your hands in his to help you stand before he guides you back onto the mattress, crawling over your body and kissing you gently once you’re fully on the bed.

You can feel his cock situated in the crease of your leg, resting right next to your cunt. And you’re clenching around nothing at the sensation of his cock being so close.

“Do you have a condom?” He asks, pulling away from you.

You swallow hard, subconsciously grinding against the length of him as the idea of him filling you raw floods your mind. You look up to him with your bottom lip taken innocently between your teeth as you shake your head.

“I want you raw,” You decide, sliding your hands up his warm chest until they reach the base of his neck.

You don’t speak as if you’re trying to convince him, more so just telling him exactly what you want. You hadn’t planned for it to end up this way, but now that it’s come across, you don’t want anything else.

“You — you don’t want a condom?” Armin asks, and you can feel him twitch against your thigh at your revelation.

“No,”

He nods, slowly and uncertainly at first, but then confidently as if he realized he wanted it equally as much. And then he leans back, sitting back on his calves as he takes his cock in his hand, his other hand gripping your thigh and holding you open for him. He looks to where the two of you are inches away from meeting as he lazily slides his hand over himself.

He shimmies his hips forward slightly so the head of his cock comes in line with your entrance, but he doesn’t push in just yet. Armin slides his cockhead through your slit, savoring the way your cunt clenches against him as he skims over your hole.

“I need — need to know how bad you’ve wanted this,” He says, almost a whisper.

He speaks for a few reasons. He wants to know that this is okay, and that fucking you is okay; but he also needs to hear you beg for him, even though he doesn’t explicitly state that he wants you to bed. He wants to know if it’s true, that all this time you’ve wanted him.

“You’re all I could think about… ever. Ever since I kissed you all that time ago, you were all I ever wanted — all I needed.” You say, your hips jerking against him every time his cock slides over your clit.

Armin nods shakily, swallowing hard as if he’s taking in what you’re saying word by word and trying to process it.

“And… how bad you’ve wanted this,” He enunciates what he’s insinuating by tapping his tip against your clit so very softly. You whine softly at the sensation and can feel your throat tense up.

“God so, so bad. I’ve dreamed about you — about you filling me up, ‘wished it was you and not my fingers. I need it — need you,” You whimper, grinding against him.

Armin lets out a shaky exhale at your confession, slowing down the rate at which he slides his cock through your slit, “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this. I wanted you so bad last night but I couldn’t — couldn’t have you.”

He pauses his cock as it’s perfectly in line with your entrance, looking up from where the two of you meet and to you where you’re laid back on the mattress, spread open for him and so needy for more. You’re shaking in anticipation, and for a moment, Armin feels bad for unintentionally teasing you for so long.

And then you feel him pressing himself inside, you feel him breaching you and stretching you out as he fills you so slowly. His hand that was at your leg drops down to your side as he comes to lean over you again, and the hand that was guiding his cock inside does the same once he’s enough of the way in to not have to guide himself anymore.

You’re a gasping and whimpering mess as he fills you up, and he the same. He’s groaning softly at the sensation of you squeezing his tip, massaging his cock with every clench. You’re so wet and warm around him, so soft and slick, and he uses every last bit of his restraint to keep himself from sheathing the entirety of his cock inside you.

“Oh God,” You cry, your legs coming up to wrap themselves around his waist, heels pressing into the base of his spine to encourage him to keep going.

But Armin doesn’t think he could stop even if he wanted to — even if he tried. You were pulling him in, both your cunt and your legs. He swears you wouldn’t dare to let him stop.

“You’re — you’re so big,” You whisper, unable to give your voice enough power to speak any louder.

He continues pushing into you slowly until his hips meet yours and the base of him is fully engulfed by your pussy. You can feel him twitching against the deepest parts of you, in your stomach, and the way he’s stretching you out is so painfully pleasant.

Armin has to take a moment from continuing, afraid he’ll cum prematurely. So, he hovers over you, bringing himself down to his elbows to where your noses bump together and takes your lips in his. He kisses you tenderly, slowly, trying to stop himself from getting too overwhelmed. But it’s truly no help because he can feel his cock twitch inside you when you moan into his mouth.

“Please, please. Please fuck me,” You whimper against his lips, your hands coming up to his neck and holding it gently to keep him as close to you as you can.

Armin slowly uses the strength in his core to lift his hips off yours, shuddering at the way your cunt keeps trying to suck him in, and pulls his cock out of you. It’s so slow, so fucking slow, but the pleasure is so immense that you’re trembling underneath him and begging for more.

“Shit, you feel so good,” He breathes, pulling himself out until only his tip remains inside, then slowly pushing himself back in and splitting you in two once more, “So, so good,”

Once Armin’s able to get ahold of his restraint, he eases himself out again then sheathes his cock back inside a little harsher. His hips slap against you, not making an audible noise just yet, but hard enough to where your pretty tits are sent bouncing against his chest.

Your moan gets caught in your throat at the feeling of him filling you up so quickly and his cock hitting so deep.

You’ve never felt like this before… ever. You don’t know it’s from how big he is or how steadily he’s fucking you or if it’s just the fact that it’s Armin, and you’ve wanted and wished and pretended it was him all this time.

“‘wanted you for so long and now I got you,” He rests his forehead against yours, “You’re mine right? Tell me your mine, please.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m yours, Armin, I’m yours,” You whimper, nodding quickly and looking into his eyes.

He refused to look away from you as he pumped his cock inside you over and over, he was lost in your lust-blown eyes and the way your whole face was twisting in pleasure. Your bottom lip quivers as you hiccup out little sobbing moans as he begins to fuck into you harder.

His biceps are flexing as he continues to use them to brace himself up as he brings his hips up before slapping them back down. It was audible now, a wet slapping sound filling the room along with both of your pathetic gasps and cries.

“Fuck — you’re so deep, so deep. ‘m gonna cum,” You choke, sliding your hands into his hair and holding onto it, tugging softly until Armin’s groaning from the pain that spreads over his scalp.

You knew it was quick, and that you weren’t lasting long at all. But you were the farthest thing from embarrassed. And Armin was glad to hear that you were close because he was far too close to his own orgasm as well.

“Need to feel it, please. Cum on my cock, please,” He begs.

And you do what you’re told. Your entire body jerks and spasms beneath him, back arching sharply and legs squeezing his hips so tight it almost hurts. You’re clenching around his cock over and over again, trying to milk him of his cum… but Armin’s not done… not yet.

“Fuck, fuck — Armin!” You cry, your lifting hips only getting slapped back down into the mattress by his.

Your brain is fuzzy with your orgasm and all your senses are on overdrive as he continues to fill you with his cock. It’s a white-hot pleasure that’s surging through your entire being, and you feel like you’re floating.

You’re choking on your moans, stuttering out his name and pulling on his hair; and Armin doesn’t let up on you.

“Again, please, ‘wanna feel it again,” He pants, kissing you again with an open mouth.

He drinks down your cries and moans as he brings you to another high. And you’re thrashing around beneath him, entire body twitching again and head pushing into the mattress as he fucks you through your orgasm once more.

And then, as you’re coming down, Armin pulls himself off of you so quickly that it takes you a moment to realize what’s happening. He’s back on his calves again with his cock in his hand, jerking himself quickly until he’s groaning and releasing all over your stomach.

“Fuck, fuck,” He seethes, eyes squeezing shut and his stomach flexing as he lets his head drop back onto his shoulders.

He can feel his whole body tensing and his muscles contracting. You can see his chest rising and falling quickly as he brings himself back down from his high. He keeps jerking his cock, squeezing at the tip, until it’s stopped its twitching and he’s got nothing left. He keeps breathing hard, bringing his head up slowly as he keeps the base of him in his hand like he’s somehow anchoring himself.

“I love you,” You say, so quietly that Armin almost missed it.

You’ve told each other so many times before. You both know that you love each other so dearly, but it was never before said as if you’ve been in love with each other.

Armin looks to you, his breathing still a little shaky, and he smiles softly, “I love you.”

He leans down and hovers over you for a moment, kissing you tenderly, before getting up off the bed. You let your eyes shut and breathe deeply as he goes to do whatever an Armin does after sex.

And you assumed it would be to get a towel of some sort so he can properly clean his release off of your stomach, and you assumed correctly because you’re opening your eyes at the sensation of something warm and wet sliding over your stomach.

He’s put his boxers back on and kneels beside you. One hand wipes at the mess while the other comes to your forearm, holding it carefully while his thumb traces over little circles. Both actions send little shivers over your cooling body, but it’s comforting and makes you feel safe. You give him a soft smile.

He’s gentle and kind as he continues to clean you up, careful with your limbs like he believes they’ll break; even though he was just plowing himself into not a few minutes ago.

You aren’t able to see him, but if you could you’d see the boy’s face turning pink at the sight of you exposed for him. And his lips are turned into a smile as well as he admires you before him.

“What clothes do you want?” He asks, discarding the towel to the floor and cupping your face in his hand.

You open your eyes to see him leaning over you, your bathroom light cascading behind him as his figure blocks it out of your eyes. He looks like a greek god.

“You pick,” You smile, shutting your eyes once more.

You feel his weight shift around then leave the bed, followed by the sound of opening and closing of your dresser drawers. His weight returns, along with the light feeling of clothes resting atop your stomach. You peek out at him again.

On your torso lays one of his tee-shirts that you had stolen from him a year or two back, along with a pair of maroon panties.

“Scandalous,” You giggle, sitting up and taking the shirt off of your stomach.

“You told me to pick,” He says shyly, another wash of blush smearing across his cheeks as he sits down beside you. You pull the shirt over your head and maneuver the panties onto you as well.

Armin leaves only momentarily to flick off the bathroom light. And once you’re clothed to the extent that it seems he wants you at, he pushes you down by your shoulders until your head is hitting your pillow. He kisses you softly, only a few pecks to your lips before shifting up to kiss your forehead.

You giggle at his ministrations. You can feel your heart swelling in your chest at the realization that you can now finally be intimate with each other in romantic ways. It didn’t feel odd. It was new, yes, but it felt nothing but right.

It felt so right for him to lay down next to you and pull you under the sheets he had just taken you on. It felt so right to be curdled up next to him, pulled against his warm body, and held in his arms as you rest your head on his bare chest; able to hear his heartbeat.

You slept with him in your bed for two days in a row, but how different those two days were.

#armin arlert smut #armin x reader smut #armin arlert x reader smut #armin arlert x reader #armin x reader #armin smut #all this time #1k

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infinitefandomimagines · 4 years ago

Text

Scarred - Zuko x Reader

WARNINGS: ARGUING, BURN SCARS, ANGST

REQUEST: zuko x reader where the reader is the last one to forgive zuko at the western air temple bc he accidentally hurt her in the crystal catacombs and than zuko goes to her tent, begging for forgiveness and she shows him the scar he gave her and it’s super fluffy:33

"Y/N. . . what do you say?" All eyes landed on you, waiting for your response to Aang's question. However, there was only one pair of eyes in particular you glared back at; and if looks could kill, the recently renounced Fire Nation prince in front of you would've surely met his demise right then. But Zuko knew how to hold himself in front of those who wanted to intimidate him. If there was anything his father taught him, it was that much.

Despite your fiery stare and previous threats from the first time he pleaded for forgiveness that you'd "knock him on his ass" if he ever came near you again, he kept his composure. There was no doubt in his mind you'd stay true to that warning, which is why he made sure to keep enough distance between the two of you.

There was a hopeful gleam in his eyes, so far Aang, Sokka, Katara, and Toph had agreed to let him join the team, albeit some more hesitantly than others. If everyone else found it in their hearts to forgive and forget, surely you could as well. Wrong.

"No."

You saw the last bit of hope fizzle from his eyes as defeat weighed down on him, causing his shoulders to sink and his head to drop. "I know you don't trust me, I don't blame you. I've done horrible things, hurt you and your friends-"

"You can't even begin to imagine the amount of pain you've caused me!" Your words held a venomous sting, yet your tone was strained, calm almost.

"Y/N," Katara stepped up behind you, her voice was soft. You could barely feel the hand she'd placed on your left shoulder, thick and itchy bandages blocking her attempt at comfort. "I don't like it either, but Aang needs to learn fire bending."

"I really believe he's changed, give him a chance to-"

You cut Aang off, finally breaking your gaze from Zuko to face the young monk. "He's already had too many chances!"

No one could admit that you were wrong, not even Zuko. Because every time he'd faught against your little group of rag-tag heroes, you'd given him a chance. Even while the rest of team avatar faught the exiled prince, you never threw a single blow that wasn't defensive or to save your friends. Instead, you'd offer him a chance to join the right side. Of course, he never accepted, but you saw the benefits of your kindness when he'd began to show a sense of mercy against you. There was something in your head telling you he was more than just a villain.

But that mindset changed when you and the gang faught against him and his sister in the crystal catacombs. When Aang almost died. When he chose the Fire Nation's side. When he'd made sure to leave you a permanent reminder of that day.

After a few moments of tense silence, you let out an impatience scoff. "Leave, Zuko. I gave you my answer, the least you can do is respect it."

Reluctantly, he nodded, mumbling out an apology before turning on his heels. He only got in a few steps before Aang interjected.

"Zuko, stop."

He did, glancing over his shoulder, ready to hear what Aang had to say.

"I'm sorry, Y/N, but Zuko is staying. I need need to learn fire bending and he's my only option. I really believe he's changed for the better."

"You don't have to forgive him, but Aang's right, we need him," Sokka added in, to which Toph agreed.

You took in their words, it was obvious they weren't up for debate. You hated that they were right, you all did need Zuko, no matter your current opinion on him.

"Fine," you sighed, looking at Zuko, who was now standing awkwardly with his hands behind his back. "But stay away from me."

Over the next few days, Zuko had somehow managed to gain the complete and utter trust of everyone, even Katara. Everyone except you. Then again, you hadn't had your "life changing field trip with Zuko" that made everyone seemingly forget about everything he'd ever done to them. Field trip or not, earning your trust wasn't going to be that easy. You didn't care how many times he made everybody tea and told cringey jokes.

"Where did you learn to make so many different types of tea?" Aang inquired, causing everyone to look at Zuko, wanting to hear his answer.

Zuko returned to his seat around the fire between Toph and Aang, finally finished handing out small cups of tea. "My uncle, it's his favorite thing to make, he even owned a tea shop at one point."

"You mean the one you betrayed," you deadpanned coldly. You flicked your eyes up from the warm cup of tea in your hands to Zuko, wanting to see his reaction.

His smile faultered, and katara shot a disapproving look at you. For a second you felt guilty, maybe that was too far. He looked genuinely hurt by your comment, but soon another emotion took over his features. You could see it in the way he clenched his jaw and sat up straighter.

"Yeah. That one." His tone was one of poorly restrained bitterness, you'd definitely struck a nerve.

You hummed in response, refusing to break eye contact with him, like you were challenging him to say something equally as cold, but he didn't take the bait. Instead, he took a deep breath, just like his uncle taught him.

"I don't get it," He asked, frustrated and fed up with your snarky comments and side eyes. "Everyone else trusts me, why can't you?"

"You really have to ask?"

Katara could feel the tension and awkwardness of the impending argument hanging over everyone. This wasn't the time nor place to be having this conversation.

"I think now would be a good time for another healing session," she interjected, giving you a look that informed you she wasn't exactly asking. With a frustrated huff, you stood up and made your way to your tent, not even waiting for Katara to follow.

You plopped down onto your sleeping bag, sitting with your left side towards the opening.

Katara was there in a few minutes, holding a medium sized bowl of water in her hands. She gently set it down on the ground, taking a seat on your sleeping bag as well, facing your left side.

You tugged your left sleeve down so you could free it. With your shoulder now exposed, she carefully removed the bandages that covered your shoulder and the side of your neck, revealing the red and scarred skin hidden underneath.

"How does it look?" You asked, attempting to ignore the itchy feeling of the fresh air hitting your wound.

"It's healing, slowly" she answered as she conjured the water from the bowl and molded it with her hands. She purified the liquid, causing it it glow. Slowly, she lowered it until the cool water molded over your injured skin. You clenched your teeth and whimpered at the sudden sting the contact made, but then Katara started making circular motions with her hands, beginning the healing process. The stinging pain soon morphed into a comforting cold and relieving sensation.

Katara had done this for you and Aang multiple times since the gang escaped from that wretched crystal catacomb. As much progress as your skin had made in healing, you couldn't seem to wipe the painful memories of how you'd recieved such a wound from your mind. You could remember the events so vividly it was as if they'd happened yesterday.

You were stalling, Zuko and Azula knew that, yet they didn't seem to mind. If anything, Azula enjoyed watching you struggle to give your friends more time. You needed to stall them long enough for Aang to fully enter the avatar state, that's all.

"Come on, Zuko, you know what needs to be done!" Azula coaxed.

"No! You still have a chance Zuko, you can still make this right!" You could see the conflict rising in him as you and Azula tugged at his morals.

There was a moment, a single second where his emotions betrayed him, where you could see how badly he wanted to go with you and the gang. But it was gone just as fast as it came.

"I will kill the avatar and restore my honor, as well as my rightful place beside my father!" He launched into action, sending overpowering blows your way.

He kept you distracted and unable to help your friends long enough for Azula to strike down Aang. Your head snapped towards Katara's screams and you saw him laying there, completely unconscious.

You were distracted, and Zuko impulsively took advantage, sending a blast of orange and red flames towards you.

In all honesty, he expected you to dodge it, you always did without fail. But this time you were too distracted, too concerned with Aang, and he caught you completely off guard. You didn't even realize you were being attacked until the flames painfully scorched your skin.

You let out a horrifying scream as you crumbled to your knees, your shaky hand hovering over your left shoulder as you tried to control your instinct to grab it, knowing it would only hurt worse. You clenched your teeth together, biting back tears as you whipped your head around go see Zuko.

He looked shocked, remorseful even, but that didn't stop anger from edging its way into your glare.

You shuddered at the memory and tried to shake it from your head completely.

"You're all done," Katara said, maneuvering the water back into the bowl. A dull ache returned to your wound, but it felt significantly better than before.

"Thanks, Katara," you mumbled.

"Do you need help rewrapping the bandages?"

You shook your head, preferring to be alone and do the difficult task by yourself. Katara seemed to understand, because she didn't push the issue like she usually would. Instead, she left you with a few words.

"What you said was too far tonight, you should really apologize to Zuko, he is trying you know?"

She didn't wait for a response, not that you planned on giving much of one anyway, but soon you were alone, relishing in the peaceful silence.

But your silence didn't last long, just a few minutes after Katara left there was a whispering voice just outside your tent. It was unmistakable who'd come to visit you, and with great reluctance did you let him in.

"What do you want?" you asked, annoyance filling your voice. You refused to make eye contact with the boy, opting to stare at the mess of tangled bandages in your hands.

Your question was met with silence, that only seemed to worsen your mood. Really? He invades your tent just to ignore your one question? This guy was just unbelievable!

You could feel yourself loosing your temperature once again. "I said, what do you-" Your head snapped up at Zuko, ready to tell him off. But you froze when you saw his gaze, and how it held your figure. His jaw was slack, and his eyes swam as tears pooled at his lash-line. But his eyes never met yours. No, his focus was completely on the uncovered scar that graced your left side.

Your shoulder had taken most of the impact, just shy of being completely colored with a dull red scar. But the wound didn't stop there, covering a decent portion of your shoulder blade. The red marking also stretched up in a jagged stripe, narrowing to a point on the side of your neck, just barely marking your cheek.

You hated how you shuddered under his gaze, and had to look away. Your fingers moving faster as your tried to unravel the tangled bandage. You wanted to cover the burned area as soon as possible.

"I- I did that." It wasn't a question. He spoke purely in matter-of-fact statements, he knew exactly where you'd received your mark from.

"Yeah." You said sharply, picking up the bandage and moving to re-wrap the large wound.

"I . . . I am so sorry-"

"You've said."

Re-wrapping the affected area was proving to be more difficult than you'd thought, especially in your heightened state or frustration. Usually Katara did this part, and you were starting to regret sending her away.

"Please, let me help you," Zuko pleaded, reaching a shaky hand out to grasp at the bandage in your grip. You immediately flinched away from him, the sudden movement sending a sharp pain through your left side.

"Stay away from me!" You bit at him.

Zuko immediately pulled his hand back from you, as if he'd burned you unintentionally for a second time. "I'm sorry," he impulsively spilled out.

"Would you stop saying that? Stop apologizing, nothing is going to make me- ow!" Your own pain cut your sentence short, the sharp pain returning, sending another shock wave up your side at your frustrated movements.

"I'm so- just, please, let me help you and then I'll leave you alone, I promise."

You took a moment to think about the offer, and as much as you didn't want his help, the promise for him to leave is what enticed you to agree. So reluctantly, you handed him the bandages and positioned yourself closer to him, allowing Zuko to access your wound and wrap it with ease.

With slow movements, Zuko began wrapping the burned area. His touch was suprisingly gentle, even more so than Katara's, something you hadn't thought possible. But even with his feather-like touch, your skin still twitched as his fingers and the bandages made contact with the more sensitive areas. Zuko muttered out small apologies each time you flinched, despite your earlier message to stop that. Though the skin had begun the early stages of scarring, it was still sensitive.

"Uh, d-did I ever tell you how I got my scar?" Zuko asked suddenly, not even bothering to look up from his task. You knew what he was doing, he'd been doing things like that since he got here, trying to make small talk with you to cover up the awkward tension. You usually never entertained it, but for some reason tonight you felt intrigued by his question.

"No." You answered shortly, trying your best not to show your growing interest. You'd always been curious about the scar.

"My father gave it to me," he stated, oddly calmly. It was almost mindless the way he told the story as he continued to carefully wrap up your injury. Like the memory had become second nature to tell.

"Oh," you whispered out softly, your mind buzzing with a million different ways to respond to him, yet none of them felt right.

"I spoke out of turn during a meeting, over a general. They wanted to sacrifice an entire division of fire nation soldiers to gain the advantage. But I-," He swallowed thickly. ". . . I thought that was wrong so I spoke up."

You nodded ever so slightly, letting out a soft hum, showing that you were still listening and waiting for him to continue. At this point Zuko had finished wrapping the bandages around your burn, allowing you to turn your body to face him fully.

"My father was furious with my disrepect towards the general. He said that the dispute would need to be resolved with an agni kai, and I accepted. And when the day came I thought I'd be fighting the general I interrupted, but then my father walked out, my agni kai was to be against him."

With each word you felt your heart grow heavier and ache for the boy you swore you hated. You were beginning to question whether you genuinely hated him or if what you truly felt was left over betrayal and anger.

"How old were you?" You finally asked the question that had been bouncing around your head since he began the story.

"Thirteen, not long before I was banished."

You felt yourself boil with anger, but for once it wasn't directed towards the boy in front of you. No, you were furious with the Fire Lord. Who could do that to someone? To a child. Zuko must not have noticed the way your jaw clenched and your fists tightened into balls, because he continued the story as if he hadn't just made your heart drop into your stomach with his answer.

"I didn't want to fight my father, I couldn't. But he took my refusal as another sign of disrespect. I begged for his forgiveness, but he wouldn't hear it. He claimed that I would learn my lesson through suffering. He raised his hand just in front of my face and then he-"

His voice caught in his throat with a crack as he visibly grimaced from the sheer memory of the event. Instinctively, you reached out for his hand, placing yours over top of his much larger one. Now it was his turn to flinch at the sudden contact.

"Zuko, it's okay, you don't have to tell me this, I understand-"

"No! I do! I need you to understand that I never meant to hurt you! I need you to know that the last thing I wanted was for you to feel the same pain I did. After what my father did, I never wanted to inflict that on anyone. I knew that pain and yet I still hurt you . . . the one person who actually believed I could change!"

His hands flew into the air as his frustrated yells of regret were lost to the silent night. He then exasperatedly brought his arms back down and dropped his head into the palms of his hands. His body shook as he took in deep breaths, trying his best not to shed any tears. He was just so frustrated with himself.

"I thought you would dodge it," His muffled whimpers poured out. "You always dodged it."

It was then that you realized how cold you'd been to the boy. You were so caught up in your own hurt and anger, only concerned with making him feel as horrible as you had with your hurtful words. Not once had you considered that he was already kicking himself ten times harder for the pain he'd caused you. He really hadn't meant to hurt you.

And that's when you did something unexpected. In an impulsive attempt to comfort him, you threw your arms around his neck, pulling him in to a hug. His breath hitched, obviously shocked by the gesture, his body going stiff.

"I understand now, I forgive you, Zuko."

At those seven words he melted into your embrace, returning it as he wrapped his arms around your figure. His chin now rested on top of your good shoulder, as he was being extra cautious as to not press on your burns.

"And I'm sorry, for what I said about you and your uncle. He'd be proud of you."

His grip on you tighten, mumbling out a 'thank you,' in the process, finally feeling as though he could fully begin healing from all the wrong he'd done.

TAGLIST: @theepartygetsmewetter

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princeescaluswords · 2 years ago

Note

Jennifer Blake's first conversation with Scott in the first episode of season 3. I think it's not a reach to say she already knew of him being a werewolf at this point so it adds a different layer this rewatch. Her saying that she expects consistency and commitment and like maybe I'm digging too deep and giving Davis too much credit here but it makes me think of her past and how the alphas she knew veered off the path. Is she subtly trying to guide him here? To not end up like Deucalion and fall under his sway? Who knows!

And also, the murder of crows scene. We know it was actually her doing, using the mass death as a sacrifice to fuel her powers. The shot of her standing at the window with the oncoming murder reflected in the glass. Ominous but also foreshadowing maybe? Because we learn eventually she is the corrupted dark druid and she does an excellent job playing as the innocent schoolteacher. Telling the students to get down as the swarm bursts into the room and she even looks shaken up and out of it afterwards when asked if she's okay. But perhaps that was just her adjusting to this new energy she received. And we know she uses glamor to mask her true appearance so that view through the other side of the window with the ominous sight of hundreds of crows on the other. And she wears black and white in that scene.

You know I never thought about the possibility that Jennifer had an inkling of Scott's potential in those first scenes, but it seems reasonable. It's understandable, because I don't think that druids, even those serving as Emissaries, have some sort of special sense about werewolves. For example, I don't think that Deaton knew that Scott had been bit until the end of Heart Monitor (1x06). But, there is other information revealed in Season 3A which might make Jennifer different. Namely, Chris's revelation in Alpha Pact (3x11):

Chris: I'm sorry. But you're just gonna have to trust me on this. I knew for a long time she didn't just operate on the currents. She was in sync with them.

Scott, Stiles, and Allison all forged a connection with the Nemeton on the night Scott was bit, as was revealed in Lunar Ellipse (3x12), a connection that Jennifer already shared as we discovered in The Overlooked (3x10). Let's look at the text of Jennifer's comments about Scott falling back into old habits in Tattoo (3x01).

Jennifer: Resolutions are only good if you stick with them, Scott.

Scott: I will. I promise it won't be ephemeral.

I'm not sure if I can say one way or the other if she was fully conscious of the trio's importance at this point, because we see multiple instances of the Nemeton influencing people unconsciously (inspiring Lydia's tree drawing through her banshee powers and Scott's choice of tattoo) throughout the season but that might have been the Watsonian reason she brought up the importance of following through on promises, since she had "made a promise of my own ... to teach these monsters ..."

On the other hand, I also don't think that she caused the crow attack on the school on purpose. I think that the shock on her face during the assault was genuine, but it wasn't out of ignorance of what it could mean. She was connected to the telluric currents and the Nemeton, so she had a connection to the Preserve as well. Ravens and crows are exceedingly well known in folklore for delivering omens. I feel she was shocked because she was being warned. About what? What happened at the exact same moment the crows were attacking? Scott -- a potential True Alpha, linked to her through the Nemeton, and a component of her struggle with her enemies -- was meeting the Alpha Pack for the first time. The very next scene is where Scott helps Deucalion off the elevator and he clashes with Ennis.

One of the things I love about Teen Wolf is that it remains focused on the teenagers point of view. Scott and his pack don't know enough yet, so events seem scary and mysterious, and the show doesn't break away to give the audience a rundown on what it means. We can go back and then end and say -- oh, so that's what might have happened.

#scott mccall #jennifer blake #teen wolf meta #alpha pack #tattoo

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mimzy-writing-online · 4 years ago

Text

Writing Toph Beifong, Advice from a Blind Writer

I’m Mimzy, an actual visually impaired writer and blogger who talks a lot about writing blind characters accurately and sensitively. A while back someone sent me an anon asking how to write Toph more accurately and sensitively.

Anonymous asked: Hi there! Your blog has been super-helpful already - I thought I knew a bit about writing with blind characters, but it turns out there was a lot to learn - but this is more specific. I'm writing a The Last Airbender fanfiction, and one of the characters is Toph. I think the fandom has done a fairly good job of respecting her blindness, but what are some things you'd like to see when people write her? I want to represent the character as best as possible; thanks in advance!

It’s taken a while for me to answer because I have a lot of thoughts about it as both a blind writer and someone who has read a lot of atla fanfiction. So here we go:

Before we get started, I want to mention some things:

One: I have an entire series for writing blind characters that continues to grow with time and the most up-to-date version can be found pinned as the top post on my blog. There will be a time-stamp for when the post was last edited and a long series of links to all relevant posts on the subject.

Here’s a quick link to that post, but again, all you have to do is click my blog url and you’ll find it immediately.

Two: I’ve noticed something amazing about the atla fandom and I would like to thank you for it. I’ve noticed a lot of bloggers have taken to writing image descriptions for both the fanart and memes you post in the fandom, whether it’s OP including the description or another blogger adding it themselves. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a fandom so consistently doing this and that’s incredible. Realizing how many different blogs were picking up this habit has warmed my heart.

I’d like to see writers use her other senses. There’s soooo so much more to her O&M (Orientation and Mobility) than earth sense.

Beyond sight and earth bending, there’s hearing, touch, smell, taste, sense of direction, hot vs cold, sense of pain, sense of where your body parts are in relation to the rest of you, sense of internal well-being, etc. Before Toph had mastery of her earth bending, she had to have mastery of those too.

Toph also must have very strong opinions about certain smells, sounds, tastes, and textures. Toph is opinionated about everything, and when so much of your understanding of the world depends on senses that most people are ignoring in favor of some other sense you don’t have, it gets frustrating. I’m sure that tree looks pretty but the smell is terrible. Who cares if this fabric looks pretty, it’s scratchy, do. not. like. at. all.

But also in positive ways too. Oh, that flower arrangement looks bland and monochromatic? Who cares, it smells sweet and honey-like. Weird dark cavern with high ceiling and no light? The harmonics are awesome.

Every character probably has a certain sight or image they’re particularly fond of: Katara watching snow fall, or Aang enjoying how small the world looks from up on Appa, or Zuko enjoying the sunrise every morning during meditation. In that line, Toph must have some things personal to her that she enjoys.

I imagine she likes the taste of foods familiar to her childhood, the smell of whatever flowers grew around her home, and the texture of certain kinds of dirt Example: loose dirt probably isn’t the best for seeing, but I think she would enjoy how it feels to run her fingers through it or maybe enjoy the way it softens her perception of the world the same way sighted people like to see colorful, bright lights reflecting off puddles in the middle of rain.

If you struggle with this, that’s okay. I recommend taking some time to think about it for yourself, to find what tastes and smells and textures and sounds you enjoy the most, what makes you feel safe and at home, what brings you comfort, and relate that back to Toph.

In a Modern AU, I want to see Toph have a cane. Even in a Modern AU with bending included in the world building, I think Toph would benefit from having a cane.

The cane has a lot more function than bumping into things. A big part is that it signals to others that you are very obviously blind. Which is a big deal because sighted people are really, really bad at spotting the blind person.

(psst, please stop saying ‘the blank look in her eyes’ because I swear to god it’s been killing me inside for years.)

Also, even in an AU with bending, I think Toph would like the advantage of tapping her cane to create a stronger, more distinct vibration than a small shifting of her weight on her feet. It would have more control.

You could give Toph a guide animal, buuuuuuut, um, Toph is not a guide dog person. Like, there are some people who definitely prefer a guide dog, and some people who definitely prefer a cane, and some who definitely prefer no mobility device at all. Toph does not have the vibes of someone who wants to be both responsible and reliant on an animal when she’s so insistent that she can take care of herself on her own. Toph likes animals, but not that much.

Although, yeah, only 10% of the blind community use mobility devices, so cane and guide dog users are the minority of the blind community, but I stand by the vibe that Toph would love the independence of a cane. Also, it’s almost never ever done. Modern AUs never seem to touch much on Toph’s O&M skills with canes or guide dogs.

I wrote a whole post on everything you need to know about canes, what orientation and mobility is, how you learn O&M, what kind of canes exist, how to use them, how to describe the sensory input a cane gives you, and everything I know about guide dogs from past research.

Honestly, you could give Toph (or any blind character) a cane in any AU, because I fully stand by the theory that canes are a piece of technology that has been invented, lost, and reinvented again and again.

I wrote “I found a piece of lost blindness history” a few months ago after a visit to see my grandparents. My grandmother told me how her blind aunt found a way to write letters by hand to send to my grandmother when she was a child. I speculated on how the long cane has probably been invented and then lost and then reinvented over and over again in history, as well as giving a little history on the growing popularity of guide dogs in the 20th century following World War 1.

About the “blank look in her eyes,” I have a theory to the exact cause and nature of Toph’s blindness.

I know it’s common to think that the milky green color of her eyes is why she’s blind, though I’m not sure how many realize that milky green color is caused by severe cataracts. At least, cataracts is what I assume to be the reason for the color of her eyes. However, people with cataracts still have some remaining sense of light and shadow perception.

Only 9% of the blind community is completely blind, seeing absolutely nothing. The rest have some remaining vision, even if that’s only light and shadow perception or the perception of vague movement.

The percentage of people born completely blind is even smaller.

Toph says that she’s never been able to see, which would lead me to guess that the initial cause of her blindness was a defect with the visual processing part of her brain. I also theorize that the cataracts developed slowly over her very formative years and that she likely wasn’t born with them. For that reason, I think it would have taken a few weeks or months for her parents to realize there was something wrong with her eyes.

Here is a post about the developmental years of blind children and how their life would differ from both sighted children and from someone who went blind as an adult.

What is it like to see nothing?

It’s a concept that sighted people struggle with and I completely understand. I myself didn’t understand the concept of “nothing” until someone explained it as this:

“Imagine trying to see out the back of your head.”

Which, genuinely, imagine that. Try that. Because here’s what I found. There’s no part of my body that can help perceive that. I don’t have eyes there, nor do I have a part of my brain that can process that. Because of this, there is no sense of light or dark, no shape or shadow or movement or depth that I can perceive. There is nothing.

And honestly, it gives me a headache trying to think too much about it.

Toph doesn’t see black, doesn’t have a mental image of it. When people talk about light and dark, Toph has nothing to base the concept on. The closest relation she has to that is silence versus sound, or her earth sense when she’s in the air on Appa versus when she’s on solid ground. But it’s not the same.

I would like to examine the way the show tried to describe Toph’s earth sense, that black void with ripples of white stretching from her feet and outwards. Television is a visual medium so of course their explanation of Toph’s earth sense would be visual, but that’s not what it’s actually like in her head. More accurately, it’s like touching the back of your head to something and feeling what’s solid behind it and what has more give. A wall versus a pillow for example. Slamming your hand on a flimsy table and feeling it rattle under your palm. And for someone so adept at using that sense, she feels not just the table surface under her palm, but the individual rattles down the four legs, how uneven those rattles are because the legs are carved decoratively instead of solid planks, and how the foot of each leg bumps against the ground, and how the floor vibrates in response to the impact, which she feels in both her feet and hand.

About Toph’s Relationship with Her Parents

It’s not something I see touched on much. There’s been a lot of focus on Zuko and Azula’s relationship with their parents and the abuse, as well as exploration of Sokka and Katara’s trauma with losing their mother, and Sokka looking up to his warrior father while Katara struggles with her abandonment issues.

Please don’t take this as a critique, because there are a few valid reasons for this and I would like to give you some insight on how to explore Toph’s relationship with her parents.

For starters, the show had a lot more reason to focus on Zuko and Azula’s parents, with Fire Lord Ozai being the primary villain and Zuko’s greatest abuser, and Azula’s dependent worship of her father in response to Ursa’s neglect and favoritism of Zuko, which was likely Ursa’s response to Ozai’s favoritism of Azula. Their parents are huge driving motivators for why Zuko and Azula make the decisions and mistakes they do, why they are at one point in the show the villains themselves. (And why I think Azula should get a redemption arc and some healing.)

Katara’s trauma of losing her mother and blaming herself is a huge factor in both her response to the war, her relationship with her bending, and her motherly nature with her friends. The show has to explore that. Just as it has to explore Sokka’s problems with toxic masculinity in response to being the man of his village, and his desire to be a great warrior and leader like the father he idolizes.

The show needs to explore that to make the plot move forward, and it benefits from these being two sibling sets with different responses to their upbringing and different sibling dynamics, setting them up as foils for each other.

The show also wouldn’t benefit by giving Lao and Poppy Beifong more screen time. Their established character were two nobles who kept as far out of the war as possible and prospered monetarily for it. Poppy was polite and demure and Lao liked to lead the conversation. Unless the gAang decided to return to Toph’s home, those characters had no reason to pop up anywhere in the show. And if they did, they would be a hinder to Toph and her part in the plot as both Aang’s earth bending teacher and as the greatest earth bender in the world, tossing Fire Nation soldiers eight ways to Sunday.

So truly, I understand that there’s not a whole lot of canon material (comparatively) to go off of when developing this, but I will offer some insight on what is there in canon.

Toph’s relationship with her parents is explored in that it maps out why Toph doesn’t want to be mothered by Katara, why she wants to prove how independent she is, but there’s very little on screen interaction between Toph and her parents.

Toph deeply loves her parents. I think that plays into why she doesn’t want Katara mothering her, because she has a wonderful mother at home who she loves and wants to better understand her, but she had no friends growing up and no older sister, which are the roles she needs and wants Katara to fill. If Toph wanted a mother figure, she would have latched onto Katara. Look at how Zuko never sought out another mother figure but did find a father figure in Iroh as he began to heal from his childhood trauma and separate his self image from his father’s acceptance.

Toph is in a complicated situation, she loves her parents but the way they’re raising her is hurting her in the long run. But Toph can see that their actions are because of their immense love for her. She can see how they would do anything for her. While she never had any examples of how other noble children were treated by their parents, who might have been distant or disinterested or always away for their social and work lives, she was remarkably loved by her parents. Her father put careful thought into her tutors and checked in on her progress. Her mother feared for Toph’s emotional state when she was kidnapped (even if she was incorrect about how Toph would respond), showing genuine empathy for her daughter.

I think their over protective nature became the love language Toph best understood them by, and part of her reasoning for not revealing how capable she was, was because she wanted to keep experiencing that love and care for as long as she could. But it’s not a love language she would put up with from anyone else.

I would like to point out Toph’s genuine excitement to see her mom again in the season finale of Book Two, how badly Toph wants her mom to understand and accept her for who she is.

My thoughts on what Toph can’t do: read, swim, see in the sand, fight things mid-air.

For how incredibly powerful the show makes Toph with her earth bending and the O&M she taught herself through it, they do touch on some of her weaknesses when they come up and find a useful way to showcase them.

The Serpent’s Pass was an excellent example of Toph’s vulnerability in water. From her fear of not being able to see on Katara’s ice bridge to not being able to swim and needing Suki to save her, Toph’s weaknesses putting her in danger added to the excitement and “sitting on the edge of your seat” feeling while watching the episode without turning her into someone who was helpless. She was just in a position where her normal defenses were useless.

Just like the earth benders in the metal prison in the ocean, or Katara having little water in the middle of a desert where her friends needed that water to survive more than she needed it to fight, making her vulnerable later in the show when the insect-wasp things attacked. Just like fire benders being weaker at night, or powerless during a solar eclipse, or a sighted person being lost in the dark. Those were just situations in which the tools you were accustomed to relying on could no longer help you or were taken away.

The show was clever in that it didn’t make her inability to read a direct threat to her safety, but rather as a clever plot device for her to be alone when the sand banders attacked and have to choose between fighting them to save Appa, or holding back an entire fricking building by the tiniest spire on its very top from falling into a void leading to the spirit world. It also showed her weakness to not being able to see or fight as well in sand. Which the show later made an effort to show how she’d improved on that problem in Book Three when she was surrounded by nothing but sand at Ember Island.

Like improving her ability to see in the sand, I would like to see a character teach Toph to swim, or at least float, so that she never feels helpless again. If she took the initiative to improve her sand bending so much, I’m sure she would have learn to swim eventually.

And on the note of reading, I’ve seen some speculation on how Toph could learn to read, whether it’s through using ink that has some percentage of earth mixed in, or developing the sensitivity to feel out the different weight, consistency, and texture of ink on paper.

I would like to bring your attention to Louis Braille, the blind Frenchman who invented Braille while studying at the Institut National des Jeunes Aveugles, the world’s very first school for the blind in Paris France (established 1785). Previously Louis was learning to read through a method in which each letter was pressed into the paper to leave an imprint that someone could feel out with just their fingers.

Louis Braille concluded that raised lettering was impractical because-

1. It is difficult to read, the letters had to be printed in huge font to be fully felt out and printed on thick paper.

2. Thick paper means higher quality, more expensive. Larger font means more paper is needed for a single text.

3. This made it inaccessible due to expense and the sheer volume of a text.

4. If today’s Braille books are hard to access and giant compared to traditional books, I can’t imagine how inaccessible those raised letter books really were.

The subject of Braille, the start and controversial near downfall to Institut National des Jeunes Aveugles were discussed in a post about writing a blind character during the Victorian Era.

I’ve heard others complain in the past about fantasy universes in which a sighted person invents a solution to allow the blind to read, when the most effective and longest lived method was invented by a blindman over two hundred years ago and is the standard taught in schools today.

And while I couldn’t easily explain it or how it works because I can neither read Braille nor speak Chinese, I can tell you that Chinese Braille exists and works only slightly differently from the Braille western languages use. So, again, modern AUs especially would benefit from enabling Toph to read Braille and use a computer and phone with screen reader.

But just as easily you could choose not to have her learn to read but rather have sighted people read things aloud to her. Whether it’s in a professional setting as an adult having an assistant who reads and writes for her, or as a cute, fluffy little moment between Toph and another character. Both are just as genuine to the blindness experience.

Blind Jokes

If you ever get around to reading my post about blind jokes, I’d like you to remember that it’s primarily written for people writing original characters and that Toph canonically makes blind jokes, so to take away from that would not be true to her character.

Does Toph’s Earth Sense Negate her Blindness?

It’s a question I’ve seen raised before and discussed by both abled, disabled, and blind people. There are multiple perspectives on it, but my own take on it is that Toph’s earth bending does not negate her blindness, but rather functions very much like the process of learning to use a cane.

She had a tool, a teacher, and she learned to use that tool. Instead of a cane, it was seismic perception and her teacher were blind badger-moles. She spent years learning to earth bend as they do and then continued to take it to new heights as she explored fighting with it on her terms against sighted fighters.

Come to think about it, I would love to see Toph teach another visually impaired or blind earth bender who to see and bend as she does.

Is Toph Good Blindness Representation?

This question was posed to me in the comments of my master post, and my answer was something like this: “Toph is good representation, but she can't be the only type of representation we get. She's the best we had 15 years ago, but there are a million ways to nuance the blindness experiences. Toph's experience being born blind, having very over protective parents, being a small girl in a patriarical and wealth influenced society, having no friends growing up. Those are all great aspects of blindness to show, but there is so much more to explore. As for her blindness and whether or not that's negated, that's also nuanced. She has limits, she's not all-powerful, but she is the best earth bender hands down. More or less, I love Toph, she's a great character, give me like a million more blind characters who are completely different from her.”

I want to see accurate and well-written blind characters become much more common in modern media, and that’s why I started this blog. So if you decide you want to write your own blind character from scratch, feel free to come back and look at some of my other stuff.

End Notes:

I want to thank the anon who sent the original question because it never occurred to me how much the atla fandom would benefit from a post like this.

You should follow my blog. Along with advice about writing blind characters, I write general writing advice and answer questions about writing, college, plot development, character analysis, and living with blindness. I curate writing advice from fellow writeblrs, write my own image descriptions for writing memes, post about mental health and working/living with ADHD, disabilities outside of blindness, and LGBTQA+ topics.

#avatar the last airbender #toph beifong #atla toph #atla #blind character #writing advice #writeblr #fanfiction

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xreaderbooks · 4 years ago

Text

Two sides (2)

Pair: ACOTAR Azriel x reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: Language, implied smut

Summary: Y/N has been in love with Cassian for centuries now, Just how Azriel has been with Mor. Both heartbroken by their unrequited love they fall into a routine of 'one-night stands', Not realizing their each others mate.

Masterlist - Part 1

A/N: So I dont know how accurate the mate information is, like I said before I haven’t read the ACOTAR series since 2019 so I probably got a couple things wrong or didn’t write the characters the way you would expect them to act. I chose to make them more how they would be in head canons if you get what I mean. Either way I really hope you enjoyed the 2nd and final part to Two sides :) Feel free to send requests for Azriel or any other Acotar characters. Thank you all for the support <3

"We need to talk."

"Okay," Azriel says skeptically, he walks over to sit on the chair across from you.

"I wanted to apologize for the other night," You shifted in your seat as you spoke, you were noticeably uncomfortable. That bothered Azriel, he wanted you to feel natural not forced, he didn't know where that desire came from but it was true. Even if this conversation was a bit awkward. "I never meant to make you feel used, I guess, I just needed a distraction."

"From seeing Cassian and Nesta together?" He asked. You bit your lip and nodded. "Y/N, I didn't feel used." He let out a small chuckle. "I enjoyed it, actually. And a bit flattered that you chose to-" He coughed awkwardly, "share that part of yourself with me." You grinned. You eased up a bit after knowing that Azriel didn't feel bad about what happened the other night, and even enjoyed it. It also warmed your heart at the fact that this was one of the rare moments that he felt comfortable enough to talk about how he was feeling. Despite it probably being out of sympathy or to defuse the tension.

"Oh," You chirped "well good. The last thing I wanted to do was fuck up our friendship."

He shook his head, "Y/N you've done a lot in the past few centuries that could've fucked up this friendship and we're still okay, better than okay considering. Besides Mor and I are still friends even after..." He tensed up, you went over to him and hesitantly put your hand on top of his.

"I know." You gave him a small smile. "I have an idea, I'll admit it's not my brightest but it will benefit the both of us."

His eyebrow quirked, "Your ideas are never the brightest, that's why you're just my second."

"Okay, wow." You blinked, removing your hand, and started pacing around the room. "First Rhys made me your second because I'm good at my job and you're just better cause of your shadows." He glared at you when you made the comment about his shadows. "Two, I've had a couple of good ideas in the past you just never go through with them."

"Maybe it's because all your ideas are reckless and we'd get caught if we did our job by using your so-called good ideas." He got up to meet you when you turned around to face the other way, you were met by his chest in your way.

You huffed when you looked up at him. "Whatever, I'm pretty sure you were going to like this one." He gave a nod to continue. "I- you know what I think it's better if I just show you."

He cocked his head to the side. You took this as an opportunity to grab him by the back of his neck and slammed your lips onto his. Immediately after he put his hands on your waist, pulling you closer. He started walking backward, leading you towards one of the bedrooms. Your foreheads pressed together but you paused from kissing him, catching your breath. You knew he could hear your heartbeat, beating quicker by the second, his heart was beating faster too. It gave you all the encouragement you needed to start taking off your clothes.

"So this was your bright idea," Azriel asked, while also hurriedly taking off his clothes.

"Mhm." Was your response before nodding and relocating your lips onto his.

The intensity of it made your heart stutter. You wanted him and at that moment he wanted you. He truly wanted you, you both felt it and took that feeling, using it to fuel the passion in that kiss. He moved down to your neck, nipping and biting at it. You moved your hand to slowly graze his wings, which made him freeze. Azriel gave you a look that made your body go on overdrive.

He picked you up, you wrapped your legs around his waist as he continued to "eat your neck" as Cassian had said all those days before. You rolled your eyes at the thought, but then they rolled back as Azriel bit at a sensitive area that intensified that already intoxicating feeling you got when you were with him.

And you wished it never ended.

~~~

"How do you feel about this?" You asked, hoping he'd be okay with it. So far he hadn't opposed.

"I don't want to hurt you." He confessed. You knew he meant physically, he could be a little rough sometimes. You were okay with that though, You rolled your eyes at his comment.

"I'm serious Y/N." He looked you in the eye. You were back at the training grounds of the Illyrian camp. You didn't specify any details, so you both didn't care about speaking in public.

"I'm a big girl, I think I can handle it." You began to walk ahead of him, He grabbed your forearm and pulled you back to face him, a hint of a smile on your face. "Only if you're sure."

Your smile faded once you saw that he was genuinely concerned. "Az, you wouldn't hurt me. I trust you."

He froze and let you go. He had a hard time letting people see how he was feeling but you could tell he was struggling with letting you in and his self-deprecation.

~~~

You had kept your secret "relationship" hidden from everyone else, as much as you could. It didn't take long. They were extremely nosy and it was difficult with Mor being your best friend. She always knew when you were lying and had insisted you were acting differently. You would always blow it off and say you had a good day, telling a random story you just thought of on the spot.

Cassian had continued to tease you about your secret lover-- which only intrigued Mor even further-- you avoided the truth most of the time. You and Azriel would be extra careful when doing what you did. Sometimes even going to Inns and you would both winnow to the location.

Going through all that trouble only for Amren to find out and threaten to tell the others. She tried to blackmail you into buying her a pure diamond bracelet. As if she couldn't afford it yourself. You talked to Azriel about it and you both decided you didn't care if anyone else knew, it's only a matter of time before they found out anyway. Plus you could use the money to buy a house somewhere private in Velaris. You enjoyed the privacy and lack of teasing for as long as it lasted.

Amren didn't tell but as you predicted, everyone did find out. Some already had suspicions like Mor, Rhys, and Feyre. Amren wouldn't have known if she hadn't caught you both and Cassian never would have thought. You'd be lying if you said you weren't disappointed at him not showing any sign of jealousy. You knew he wouldn't be, being caught up with Nesta and all but you still held hope. You considered yourself a fool and would try to fuck the feelings out of you with Azriel. And most of the time it worked.

~~~

Months went by as sleeping with your best friend became your new normal. You never would have thought that you'd be one of those mysterious girls that Azriel hooked up with, ever since that night, you were the only girl. You had to admit, you liked the idea; being Azriel's only girl. But you knew that although you would be the only girl in his bed, Mor will always be on his mind. Not that you blamed him, you were still somewhat hung up on Cassian. After you can't get rid of 500+ years of feelings.

As you laid next to Azriel, who now stayed nights instead of leaving right after, You admired his tattoos, the intricate designs, you fought the urge to trace them. You did anyways but only a centimeter away from his chest so you wouldn't wake him. In the morning light that slipped through a slight gap in your curtains, It shone right on him. He looked ethereal.

You always knew he was attractive most Illyrian men were, at least if they weren't assholes most of the time. You had time now, to actually take in his beauty. You could never understand how someone so beautiful and kind could be so broken. You guessed that's why you chose him to spend your nights with, instead of some random guy. You could help him and heal him and get him to appreciate himself more.

The shadows around him became more active, it made him tense up. He was awake. You lifted your hand up to up to move the stray hair that fell onto his face. At that moment, you felt your world shift an overwhelming sensation of love and adoration consumed your body and you snatched your hand away from him. You were in pure shock.

'Holy fuck' Was the only thing going through your head.

"What's wrong?"He questioned as if he could sense your distress. His voice hoarse from just waking up.

"Nothing." You said, immediately getting up and getting dressed in whatever you had closest to you. "You should, um, You should get going. I have a lot of reports to do, I've been holding them off but Rhys has been asking me for them for the longest so I should get on it."

Azriel sat up, the bed sheet covering one leg and another part. His perfectly sculpted body in your bed, the lighting, half of his leg uncovered by the blanket. You tried to compose yourself to figure out what you would do. Hoping that he didn't pick up on how different you were acting. It was no use he probably already expected something was up.

To try to ease the tension you sat next to him, brushing the hair out of his face, dragging your fingertips down to the side of his face, and kissed his cheek. You ignored the tingles you felt as his face nuzzled into your hand. Hesitantly, you remove your hand and got up from the bed, and sat at the desk you had in your room. You pretended to read through old letters from officials.

Azriel took that as his cue to leave. He got dressed and pressed a kiss to the back of your head before he left.

He definitely knew something, that's not how your mornings usually go. You would at least spend an hour or two together either talking or enjoying each other's presence before sending each other off to your respective duties. However due to your new discovery of Azriel being your mate. You panicked. What would you do now?

~~~

Hours had passed and you hadn't left your room, choosing to focus on the reports that you did in fact, have to do. Rhys just wasn't expecting them for another week or so. Mor then busted into your room. "Knock, knock bitch."

"Uh, hello gorgeous, didn't expect a lovely visit from you today." You said sarcastically, turning your chair to face her. She dropped the shopping bags onto your floor. You lifted a brow in question.

"We're going on a trip!"

"I'm busy." You turned back around to focus on what you were writing.

"It's a fun work one." You twisted your chair around again.

"How do you mean?"

"Day court gala, bonding with people, gaining trust, and all that." She waved it off as if you didn't need to know actual information. You decided you'd ask for details from Rhysand later.

"And you went shopping." You gestured to all of the bags. "like you don't have tons of outfits you could take."

"Well of course I do. These are for you." She grinned.

"W-what?"

"Just because you're supposed to be invisible and all that, doesn't mean you have to be like that all the time." She referred to your job description, being another spy for Rhysand, relying on you being a woman to get information from people Azriel couldn't. Kind of ridiculous considering Azriel's shadows allowed him to get all the information needed but it was an easy enough job. Unlike Az, you didn't have shadows to command so you stuck to your black outfits tunics, and suits that would help you move easily. You never really dressed up, unless it was for an occasion, but you enjoyed doing it when you could. Most of the time you would be on duty or something like it so you couldn't.

This Gala gave you the perfect excuse too. You were thankful to Mor for having bought you these dresses and accessories. You were pretty sure you had worn all the dresses you had in your closet already.

"Yeah, you're right." You gave her a half-smile. Part of you wondered what Azriel's reaction would be to you in one of these revealing dresses. You shook the thought from your head. You would dress for yourself not for some male, even if that male is your mate.

You debated whether to tell Mor or not. She might be able to help you with your internal battle. Part of you was hurt about Cassian not being your mate. Another part always knew that he wasn't, and another part of you wondered how Azriel would react. Did he feel the bond snap into place? Or was it a Feyre-Rhysand situation where the bond would snap into place at another moment? Would he reject you cause you weren't Mor?

You opted to tell Mor at the day court where you would have more space and privacy from the others.

~~~

Helion's words about uniting and bonding were very heartwarming and kind, but you couldn't get past the thoughts that swarmed your mind. You took advantage of this time with everyone listening to Helions welcoming speech and sneakily made your way over to where Mor was standing. You pretended to greet her with a kiss and whispered in her ear to meet you in the room you were staying at.

"Thank the cauldron you came along, Helion was droning on and was about to make me fall asleep." She joked as she sauntered into your room. She paused her amused tone as soon as she saw your face. "You were fine like two minutes ago."

"Glad to know, I'm good at hiding it." You forced a smile. She tilted her head as if to ask you 'what's wrong', so you told her. You told her that Azriel was your mate and how it happened. You told her of your fears of rejection and confusion with your love for Cassian. It was a different love now, you felt it. There was a shift in what you felt towards Cassian and more intense feelings for Azriel. You suspected the bond but you didn't mind it. You then opened up about your insecurity about him rejecting you for her. Which she shut down, though she knew what you meant.

"Mor, Azriel loves you, like I loved Cassian. What if his love for you is stronger and he refuses to let go. We all know the only reason he never went for you is his trouble with his self-worth." Those were harsh words, but they were true. "He could easily reject me for you, knowing you don't love him in that way."

"You don't know that Y/N. And you loved Cassian, probably as much as Azriel loved me. After all this time you spent together, you truly don't think he would have changed the way he feels for me?" She grabbed your hand in hers. "You and Azriel are like two sides of the same coin, he's all dark and brooding and you, well you're the same in some ways. But you bring out the light and you can cast out all of his darkness with a simple smile."

"I don't know." You whispered. You were scared. Your feelings for Azriel already began to grow, without the bond, with it in place now it was strengthened. Your feelings for Cassian was a background noise that would soon grow into a more familial type of love.

"What should I do Mor?" You whimpered, you put your face in your hands. "I feel like a girl with a crush. This is ridiculous."

She laughed and nodded. "Yes, yes it is. On the bright side, if he doesn't know about you being mates, you could still have fun with other people."

You gave her a look. "You forget that he's my designated person to 'have fun' with."

"I didn't know you had a conversation on exclusivity." She shrugged and walked over to the cart that had alcoholic drinks, at the corner of the room.

"Technically we did when we agreed to sleep with each other when we felt like it." You reasoned.

"Hm." She mused, sipping on her drink. "I still say enjoy tonight, dance with a few males, or females, and if you two end up having sex with him again just enjoy the time you have with him."

"Thanks for the talk, Mor."

"Of course darling, by the way, I highly doubt he'll reject you. If he does he's an idiot and I'll kill him." She sent a wink your way and left you in your room to think.

~~~

Azriel watched as you swayed your hips to the beat of the music. A man who he didn't know came up from behind you, keeping up with you. That was the first of many. He felt a twinge of jealousy in his gut. He attempted to force that emotion down. He couldn't understand where that was coming from.

He was keeping watch, even though he always made sure to keep a lookout for danger to his court. Mor and Cassian tried to get him to ease up, he didn't budge. Who would pry Cassian from more liquor when he's had enough to drink if Azriel wasn't sober? He used the excuse of being the only responsible one to keep an eye on her. Y/n, Azriel thought he knew what it was to love someone because of Mor but what Azriel felt for Y/N was different. It felt raw and real and whatever it was, was growing fast. She was easy to talk to, not that he did much of that but she listened, actually listened when he did, and she didn't pry or hover as much as the others. They tend to beat around the bush when wanting to know about what was going on with him. Unlike Y/N who would take her time to make sure he felt comfortable and if, he wasn't, she would change the topic and act normal.

Y/N was a calming presence that allowed him to just be. She brought out another side of him that he thought he could never be.

That's why when he felt a change in the way he saw her dancing with a new guy than the one she was with earlier, it all made sense. She was his mate. He saw red as he practically flew to where they were. The fae males' hands that were roaming your bonds were ripped away from you and he dragged him away. Azriel pinned the man against the wall. People began to stare and talk in hushed whispers, appalled at the sight.

"Never touch my mate, again." He growled. He dug his fingers into the guy's neck.

"I-I didn't know." The man choked out.

"Well, now you do." He muttered, letting the man slump to the ground. He went over to where you were standing, eyes wide. His eyes softened while looking at you. He slowed as he got to you. "Can we talk?"

You nodded your head and began to walk toward an empty hall.

"I'm sorry if I scared you." He kept his voice low but soft. He was afraid, you would want to run away.

"You didn't." You stood there staring at him. You tried to figure him out, to no avail. His face was always stoic. "I- I thought you'd reject me and now I don't know what to do." You confessed.

"You knew?" He tried to recall if you had acted any differently. His shadows had felt the change in your demeanor and set out in whispers when you were rushing him out. He brushed it off, he should've looked more into it. The last thing he wanted to do was to make you feel unwanted or rejected.

"Since yesterday morning." You confirmed. Your anxiety consumed you, you heard of the pain that came along with being rejected by your mate. Some have died from it. Little did you know Azriel was worrying about the same exact thing. Not thinking himself worthy enough of your affection. He allowed himself the pleasure of being in bed with you, assuming it was nothing more and he couldn't get hurt you or be hurt that way. It was a release from another pain you both had the displeasure of feeling.

"I want you to know it is an honor to have you as my mate." He took a step closer.

"Really? Honestly, I thought..." You shook your head. "Nevermind."

He looked confused but let it go, if you wanted to tell him you would. "Guess this means I have to go cook you something." You let out a laugh. He smiled an actual wide beautiful smile. Azriel grabbed your face and kissed you.

It was soon interrupted by a very drunk Mor who shouted, "Finally!"

Cassian was right behind her, "Mor! I forgot where the bathroom was, can y-" He paused looking between you and Azriel. "Oooh getting freaky in the hall, that's new. Hey Y/N if he isn't hitting it right, you know where to find me." He winked at you. Azriel gave him a murderous look, putting his arm in front of you. 'So he's gonna be one of those', you thought.

You couldn't wait till the second part of the mating process.

Tags: @wildchild2707 ,@theworthlessqueen ,@ciciakai ,@rockinginneverland

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