#genuinely makes me want to curl up into a ball and DIE

[bikananjarrus]

thinking about the remaining members of the ghost crew after the liberation of lothal. they've freed lothal, which is like a second home to them, but the victory is bittersweet. because kanan is still gone. ezra is still gone. and they have to return to yavin, triumphant but grieving, ezra's message still ringing in their ears. thinking about them having to fill out reports for the rebellion, saying that they're two spectres short. having to start dealing with the questions from people around them: where's spectre 1? where's spectre 6? (dead. missing in action). hera discovering she's pregnant just a few weeks later and it's a joyous moment for the remaining ghost crew, but it brings a fresh wave of grief too. because the other two members of their crew should be there. just thinking about them throwing themselves into the rebellion, taking it day by day with the ever-present reminder that their family is incomplete. because there are holes in their life where kanan and ezra should be (where's spectre 1? where's spectre 6?) (still dead. still missing in action. but maybe he's dead too. maybe he has been the whole time).

[iwaasfairy]

Hi, Fairy! Maybe your first blowjob with Sakura from Windbreaker?

this is awfully soft for my blog but for just this once I will provide you the fluffy smut you want bc it got awayyy from me :>> first impressions, I like haru

tw. blowjob, spit, neither are virgins but Haruka is having a first

“Okay, my turn.” You giggle, and roll over after putting your drink precariously close to the edge of the coffeetable. “Hmm… weirdest place you’ve gotten a blowjob?” Your head’s too close to his thigh, you’re not being subtle. Your toes basically curl without intent at even having this conversation with him. It’s the most overtly sexual you’ve been with him— and you’re alone. Blame a girl for being giddy. When it stays quiet for a few seconds, you get anxious though.

“What, you can ask me my favorite positions, but I can’t ask something personal back?” He’s still looking, and you swear you catch him staring at your lips when you look over.

“No…” His normally serious, predatory eyes flick away. “Never had that so, gotta pass.” Your lips smack, and he seems to tense at the sound.

“What’dyou mean? You’ve never…” You look up at him innocently, genuine curiosity making it’s way over your features. Haruka’s got a massive blush on his face all of a sudden, running from his nose to the tips of his ears as he stares resolutely at the corner of the room instead of you. He speaks much too loudly to be unbothered by the topic.

“It means what it fucking means. Stop staring at me, brat. You might’ve got around when you were young,” he bursts out -and you would take it personally if he didn’t look down at you like something to eat earlier- “but I wasn’t all that popular back home. I had a reputation of being a hardass, so no girls were jumping for the opportunity, alright?!” He’s loud enough that if your big brother was home, he’d come in to check in on you. Luckily then that he isn’t. Sakura’s all tense and balled fists, and it makes you quiet; then giggle when he finally takes those mismatched eyes away from the wall back down at your face.

Your giggles die down as soon as he starts getting up out of the couch, and you shoot into motion to wrap soft fingers around his wrist. “Haru~ kun, wait! You have to give me time to react first, seriously.” He’s so tense you can feel each muscle in his forearm flex when you slide your hand up just a little. After a bit of debating, with your big, soft eyes still aimed at him, he eventually sits back down. But pulls his arm away from you to cross them over his chest instead, with a ‘what?’ sort of expression.

You bite your lip. “Around the campfire the other night, you … Didn’t you tell the guys you weren’t a vir-”

Again that fucking blush, now also over his hands as he smacks it over your mouth— hot palm shutting you up as his eyebrows get so high on his forehead. When he realizes that this isn’t really the way to shut a lady up, he frowns, and his chest rises and falls a little too quickly. For such a tough guy- he really can’t handle teasing at all. “How did you know about that?! And- w-what about it, anyway?” He keeps your eyes with a searching expression for a bit longer. As if he’s trying to see if you’re mad. What’s there to be mad about? You’re both adults. When he doesn’t find any accusations in your irises, he lets go of you. Seriously, this guy.

“Was that a lie?” you ask.

You’ve known him for a while now. At least enough for you to get a slight little crush on your brother’s friend— and this is the first time since maybe high school that he got this flustered. Usually, you’re the one a flushed mess whenever he’s around. Tonight’s been different. Instead of backing down, he puffs his chest out a little, and looks back at you. You don’t want to let it go to your head, but when you ask it he lets his gaze trail all over your body where you’re resting, lingering on the way your shorts have ridden up between your thighs.

“No, it wasn’t a fucking lie. Some stuff happened back in highschool and I ended up getting plenty of experience.” Those pretty eyes keep yours, and he licks his bottom lip. “Believe me, I know what I’m doing on that front.” There it is. Under all of that thinly veiled temper— is the guy who makes your head spin when he’s around with his hopeless brashness. You’re smitten.

You sit up, instead shifting your legs under you as you run a hand through your hair and brush it away from your face instead, exposing the long stretch of neck that he also takes a slow journey down with his eyes. It’s as flattering as it is making your hairs stand on end, sucking your bottom lip into your mouth. When you manage to calm your racing heart rate a little, you smile, eyes on the ground.

You breathe out. “But you’ve never had your,” now it’s your turn to struggle through the words, “your dick sucked?” The dent in the wall from where your big brother once threw a chair is endlessly interesting now. “Do you want to? I mean- not- I’m not asking for me to- just- in general.” You smooth your hands over your shorts to readjust them. Now would be a good time to get a drink, tingles trailing up and down your spine. “I mean- isn’t that a lot of pressure for whichever poor girl is the first?” You can’t bear to look at him, but you have a feeling Haruka’s smiling at the side of your face. You could shoot yourself. “Thirsty,” you squeak.

When you slide your legs off the couch with the intention to escape to safety for a bit, a warm palm now grabs onto your upper arm, winding around it with just enough pressure to keep you from going. You’re so rigid that when he gets closer and the air of his breath dusts over your ear, you squeak. “Where are you going? Gotta give me some time to react first, don’t you?” You barely manage to look back at him, but when you do you’re nose to nose. He trails fingertips around your ear before nudging your chin up with one finger. “Say, if I ask for it myself, would it still pressure you? If I show you how badly I want you to?”

Then after a second he tilts his head in thought. “Only you.” You can’t think straight, can only focus on the sliver of distance left between your lips. Holy fuck, your heart is beating so hard it makes you a bit shaky. Sakura’s lashes flutter as he whispers the next words against your lips— and all you can think about is how good he looks in the low light of the tv. His words are slow, as his fingers drag through your hair to hold you in place. “Can I ask? To put that pretty fucking mouth on my cock?”

Your entire body tingles, and you nod. “Yeah.” Your mouth meets his eagerly, but not as eager as Haruka is when shifting his body weight into you and almost knocking teeth when you kiss. His tongue’s sweet, a little bitter because of the drinks, as it pushes against yours and kisses and sucks the air out of you. His free hand wrapping around your waist drags you against him more, tilting your head back for his access by a soft pull on your hair. When you disconnect for a moment you breathe his name, and he sits back to pat his lap a few times.

“Come. Sit for me first.”

“You have no clue-” you pant as you get onto him, feeling those strong thighs flexing under your own, “how long I’ve wanted to.” His brows slant up at the admission, as you pull your shirt over your head. “Do this, that is. I’ve had a crush on you for like three years. I haven’t been constantly thinking of ways to trick you into having you fuck my mouth.” A soft chuckle shakes his chest when he follows your lead to take off his own shirt, tosses it somewhere. Then he kisses you again, and smiles.

“I wouldn’t be upset if you admitted you had.” As you roll your hips against him, you’re pleased to already feel his bulge pushing against you. He looks positively radiant looking up at you like he is, biting his bottom lip as his hands grip your tits through your bra and he can’t hold back a smile. You can’t help but kiss him again, and start making marks on the pretty skin below his jaw. Haruka groans. “I’ve wanted you too, by- agh- the way. So much longer than that. Not to say that I waited or nothin’… ” He admits after a few seconds of trailing kisses down his neck and collarbones, making your way down to the patch of white hairs from his navel down. His voice gets heavier when he bucks up into your doughy pussy, only separated by a few bits of fabric. “But I’ve wanted your lips wrapped around my cock since freshman year- fuck.”

You’re halfway down his body and pulling his sweats out of the way when you look up at him with big eyes, and a surprised giggle makes it’s way out of your open mouth. “Freshman year?! You’ve been wanting to fuck your friend’s little sister’s mouth since freshman year?” He’s quick to lift his ass and push the pants to his knees along with his underwear, and grabs his cock at the base as another blush makes it’s way over his face.

“Shut up- just… If you’re gonna do it, do it.” He’s all flushed and honestly, adorable as he glances between his own body and you where you’re now on your knees on the carpet. He watches you lick your lips and give him some time to squeeze out a drop of glossy pre, before running his free hand through his hair to get it out of his face. “No p-pressure, though. Anything you do will be more than enough for me.” It’s so genuine it almost makes you hold back on giving him your best.

Almost. “No way. If you’ve been waiting to fuck my mouth for that long…” You smile up at him, blink your long lashes, and then pat the puffy head against your hot lips a few times.

Your lips meet his swollen tip with a hum, before blowing a bubble of spit and pushing your tongue against him, wrapping it around the hot head. Your tongue squirms as you wet it with as much spit as you can, before putting your lips on him and slowly feeding more of his cock inside with a hum- batting your lashes up in time to watch how Haruka’s eyes widen and then he has to push them closed entirely. “O-oh fuck. Fuck; You’re-” Your tongue rubs over his slit to taste the slightly salty, musky pre and your hand moves down to squeeze his shaft, then gripping his hot, heavy balls. “A- ugh- hold on.”

“Holy fuck- ah- fucking shit.” His normally tense expression takes on a wonderful helplessness as you push your cheeks together and hollow them around him, suck slow first and then harder— and Haruka groans deeply. “So pretty. Oh shit, I’m close. I’m already close- slow down.”

He opens his eyes for a few seconds, only to close them again, placing his hand on top of your head to hold you back a little. Your tongue strokes the underside of his shaft, melting along the curve of one throbbing vein. “Fu—ck me, you’re- so fucking good at this, you’re so good. Ah, agh ah.” He pants, opens his eyes, strokes your crown a few times as his cock fills your mouth up and you pull back, leaking spit. “Taste good, does it?”

“Mhm.” It’s too messy and hot between his legs for you to stay entirely untouched, as you rub his spongey, pink head on the outside of your cheeks. One hand makes it’s way between your own legs to grind against your own palm, while the other winds just tight enough around the base of him to make his breathing hitch. “Haru~ y’taste so good. Feel nice in my mouth too.”

“I promise you-,” his leg twitches when you stroke slow motions on the slick length of him, “you feel even better.” You dip your face to instead take his balls into your mouth instead and suck, and the nervous twitch becomes a full on spasm that has him grabbing your head by the hair. “Oh-oh don’t do that. I’m- I wanna come in your mouth. Fuck, baby. What the fuck.” The pull aches, but watching him basically glare at you from under thick lashes makes your entire body glow. When he wraps his larger hand around yours to hold you still for a moment, you can’t help the smile that breaks out on your face. “You can’t keep doing that, unless you want me to cum all over your face.”

“But I like tasting you so much.” You pout. Your hair sticks to your neck, and your tears make your lashes sticky. He looks at you like you’re a princess though. Your pussy clenches around nothing. “Stand up for me?” Haruka’s frown comes back at that, but he strokes comforting pets over your head as he thinks. He eventually grits his teeth when you let go of him entirely, escaping from his touch. It’s too hot, and really— you ache to be touched too. But it’s so nice to watch that blush spread on his neck. You get back a little and squeeze his thigh, and with a bit more urging he stands up out of the couch.

Thick, pretty cock right before your nose, he twitches before you. Your eyes find his when you smile. You stick your tongue out to drop some drool onto your fingers, and hold your hand out. Haruka’s face only blanks. “Want to fuck my face on your pace instead?”

“No.” It takes a few seconds to register the expression he’s wearing, but it isn’t one of annoyance. Instead he’s holding out his hand to pull you up— and you let him. “Bend over here. It’s my turn.”

[vodika-vibes]

Hi again, hope you’ve been well! I just wanted to see if I could please ask for a hurt/comfort fic with either an alpha arc or a null, your choice of who specifically. One where reader is an informant of some kind, but they end up getting caught and interrogated before trooper of choose comes to the rescue. When they do maybe reading is having a panic attack after being severely injured. Thanks and happy writing!

Abandon Ship

Summary: You’re a member of the Republic Strategic Information Service (SIS) though you’re not a high ranking member, in fact, you’re not supposed to be doing field operations at all. However, when your supervisor orders you into Separatist space, your options are follow orders or lose your job. You manage to get off one coded message to Ordo before you’re captured. And all you can do is hope that he’ll come.

Pairing: Ordo Skirata x F!Reader

Word Count: 1802

Warnings: Torture

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: Sorry that this took so long! I think I have several other requests from you as well. I feel so bad that it took me so long to get to this one. Anyway, I chose Ordo because I love him, though it was a toss-up between Ordo and Mereel, but given the subject matter, I thought Ordo would be a better fit than Mereel. I hope you like it!

You huff out a near silent groan of pain as you slowly, and painfully, uncurl from the protective ball that you curled yourself into when the interrogator came into the room.

Eventually, they’ll figure that you genuinely don’t know anything.

You’re smart enough to know that when they do figure that out, it’s game over for you.

For a moment, you lay on your back on the frigid, dirty, and wet floor. Trying to work up the will to get to your feet, or at least to crawl over to the “bed” that you were supplied when you were thrown in here.

Calling it a proper bed would be an insult to beds everywhere.

It’s little more than a thin mat with some ratty blankets thrown on top. But it’s slightly more comfortable than the concrete you’re actively laying on.

Slowly you press your arm over your eyes and try to ignore the burning in your eyes (tears will not help this situation) and the stabbing pain around your ribs.

You shouldn’t be in this position at all. You’re an analyst, not a field agent. There’s no reason for you to be anywhere but on Coruscant, or maybe a warship. You definitely should not be on Raxus.

You shouldn’t be in Separatist space at all.

You cringe at the sound of someone screaming further down the hall, at least you’re not alone in here.

It doesn’t make you feel any better.

Finally the throbbing in your chest and abdomen fades enough that you’re willing to slowly push yourself to your feet, and drag yourself to the bed on the other side of your cell.

All you can do now, you’re only option, is hope that someone will come for you. Either another member of the SIS, or maybe Ordo will answer your panicked, and heavily encrypted, message.

And if he doesn’t...well, you’ll die here. And no one will ever know what happened to you.

This time, as you roll onto your side so you’re not facing the door, you don’t bother to stop your tears.

It’s been...you aren’t sure how long. Longer than a week, definitely. But you don’t have an exact number of days that you’ve been on Raxus. It’s intentional, you’re sure.

Or, maybe not. The people holding you don’t seem to be all that proficient at the more psychological aspect of torture. Though they’re more than proficient in the more physical aspects.

Your shoulders twinge painfully as your arms are twisted behind your back, and heavy binders are snapped around your wrists, and magnetized to the chair you’re sitting on.

It’s uncomfortable, boarding on painful. And mixed with the staggering number of bruises you’re nursing, not to mention the open lacerations that have been prevents from healing due to your captors rubbing actual salt into your wounds, and the fact that your captor decided that using a whip on you was the best way to get you to work with them-

Yeah. You’re not having a good time.

Honestly, if you weren’t in so much pain, it’d almost be laughable. It’s like they read a storybook on how to be the most cliche villain ever, and are following it like a checklist.

“So,” You slowly lift your gaze to the man standing in front of you. He’s a massive human, and honestly looks like he should be modeling for GQ rather than being an interrogator. “You have been here for almost a month. And you haven’t even told us your name.”

You just blink at him and a flash of irritation crosses his face.

He walks over to you and grabs a fistful of your hair, before roughly jerking your head back, “All of this can stop, if you just work with us rather than against us.”

Once again, you just blink at him.

He growls and releases your hair, “Fine.” He walks away from you and turns to the men standing near the door, your personal torturers. Although, you’re pretty sure that one of them is new.

It’s kind of hard to tell, since they’re both completely covered in armor.

“Start removing appendages, start with her fingers.” He looks at you, “Remember, girl, you brought this on yourself.” And then he’s gone, and you’re alone with your old friends.

One of the men walks over to you and presses a button, releasing the heavy binders, and then his boot slams hard into your chest, knocking you and the chair over, and knocking the air out of your lungs.

“This one,” He drawls, “is stubborn. Hasn’t said a damned word since we found her. Though we do know that she’s SIS. I doubt this is gonna work like the boss thinks, but I’m happy to try.”

He walks over to you and slams his boot down on your chest again, pulling a pained gasp from you, as you struggle to catch your breath and from the pain. He lifts his boot long enough that you’re able to catch your breath, and kicks you in the side to roll you over.

“You like your job then.” The new guy says, and you’re at least aware enough to note that you recognize the voice. It’s familiar though you can’t quite pinpoint why it’s familiar.

“Course I do.” The man who kicked you kneels next to you, “These holier than thou pubbie assholes deserve everything that they get. You’ll learn.” He draws a, almost comically, large knife and lazily presses the tip against your cheek.

The knife is sharp, sharp enough that it doesn’t hurt as much as it could as it cuts into the skin of your cheek. You bite your tongue hard enough that you can taste metal.

He pulls the knife away from your face and jerks your arm out to examine your fingers, “I think...I’ll start with the thumb.” There’s something gleefully cruel in his voice, and your eyes snap shut as he presses the blade against the base of your thumb—

—And then there’s the sound of a blaster being fired, and the sound of something heavy falling to the floor.

Your eyes open when you feel large hands on your shoulders, encouraging you to sit up. And you peer up at the new guy who’s kneeling over you. You want to lean away from him, to press yourself against the wall, but you just don’t have the strength to do anything anymore.

He’s silent for a moment, and then reaches up and pulls off the helmet.

You blink at him. Once, twice, three times. Sure that your eyes are playing tricks on you.

“...Ordo?” Your voice is raspy from disuse.

His dark eyes scan your face for a moment, before he brings his gloved hand up to press soothingly against your cheek, “Sorry I’m late, mesh’la.”

“I...I didn’t think anyone was coming.” You admit as your hands, bruised and bloodied, come up to wrap around his wrists.

“Well, I wasn’t supposed to. The orders we were given were very clear.” Ordo says with narrowed eyes, “You were to be written off as a lost asset.”

It feels like a giant hand wraps around your lungs and squeezes tightly. Oh, you think absently, there’s the panic attack.

“Hey, hey,” Ordo’s other hand presses against your cheek, trying to draw your focus, “You’re safe now. I was never going to leave you behind. We’re going to get you safe and home. And you’re never going back to the SIS.”

Ordo sounds like he’s miles away.

“Kriff, cyar’ika, keep your eyes open-”

He looks worried.

The world around you starts going gray at the edges, and you try to open your mouth to reassure him that you’re fine, but the world goes dark. And, for the first time in ages, you don’t feel any pain.

You wake to the sound of a heart monitor beeping in your ear, and the scent of bacta in your nose.

The lights are dimmed, which you notice as you slowly blink your eyes open. And as you turn your head, you see that Ordo is asleep in a chair next to the bed you’re laying in, his feet propped up on the edge of the bed.

He looks tired.

Slowly you try to sit up, but a sharp pain makes you hiss, and his eyes snap open and land on you immediately, “What are you doing?” He drops his feet and leans in to encourage you to lay back, “You shouldn’t move.”

“Was going to look for a blanket for you,” You admit sheepishly.

Ordo sighs softly, his large hand coming up to brush some of your hair out of your face, “Well, don’t. You haven’t been in a bacta tank yet.”

“I haven’t?”

“No, you have an infection and it needs to be cleared before we can stick you in a tank.” He still looks worried, “You weren’t supposed to wake up yet.” Ordo adds.

“Sorry-”

“Don’t be.” His hand moves to your cheek, to trace the bandage that you can feel there, “I’m glad that you’re awake. You scared me, cyare. I thought you were going to die in my arms.”

You feel a surge of guilt, “Sorry.”

“Not your fault.” He scans your face for a moment, and there’s a glimmer of sadness. Ordo’s fingers ghost over bruises, and against your lips, “My vod’e thought I was going to have a heart attack when we managed to decrypt your message.” He admits, “Cyar’ika, what were you doing in Separatist space?”

You blink at him, “I was following orders.” You say against his fingers.

Ordo’s fingers stop moving, and something cold slides across his face, “Come again?”

“My supervisor ordered me to Raxus for a field mission,” You clarify, “He said if I didn’t do it I’d lose my job.” You stare at him, “Why did you think I went to Raxus?”

“...your supervisor said that you defected from the Republic.”

Panic washes through you and you can hear the heart monitor start racing, “I didn’t! I wouldn’t! I had orders! I-”

“Hey. Hey, hey.” Ordo’s hands are so gentle against your face and the ice in his gaze thaws into something warmer, and for you alone, “I believe you. None of us believed what we were told. You need to calm down.” He doesn’t pull his hands away even after your panic subsides, “I’ll tell the others to do some digging, but we’ll keep you safe. I promise.”

“...Thank you for coming after me.” You whisper.

He leans in and presses a light kiss against your forehead, “You can thank me by getting some rest. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

“Promise?”

“On my life.”

You release a quiet sigh. “I love you, Ordo.”

Finally, a small smile crosses his face, “I love you too, cyare.”

[wh1spyz]

HER WISH, HIS WISH || YANG JEONGIN

pair : childhoodfriend!jeongin x reader

genre : angst

warning : cursing, rejection, no happy ending

you confess your feelings to your best friend jeongin, but does he like you back?

quick a/n : hi everyone! first time posting on here. i used to be a wattpad writer but due to school and stuff i stopped writing. i just want to write for fun every here and there, so i probably wont post here constantly. sorry! anyways, enjoy :)

everyone wanted you to confess.

all of jeongin's friends knew about your crush on him, and it made you curious if he knew aswell. but clearly, he didnt know, and he was more oblivious then ever. you never really wanted to confess, you found the idea terrifying and you knew that if he didn't reciprocate your feelings, your friendship could be ruined. but his friends still urged you to make your feelings known to him (despite being obviously head over heels for him).

so here you were, sitting on the same couch in his apartment, watching him study. you had told yourself several times before you came over that you would tell him your feelings, despite being scared out of your damn mind. you watched him as he studied, and he looked handsome as always. you couldn't help but blurt out "i like you", like the dumbass you were before covering your mouth.

his gazed turn to you, a bit stunned by your sudden confession, and extremely confused aswell.

"what did you say y/n?"

you didnt know if you wanted to gaslight your crush into thinking you said nothing, run out of there as fast as possible, or genuinely admit the truth (the other 2 options sounded better to you, honestly). but you took a deep breath and decided to confess properly.

"i like you, jeongin. i've liked you for a long time. you've always put a smile on my face and make me feel happy, and i don't know what i would do without you. i've spent hours just thinking about... you, and only you. i really like you, alot."

the room was tense after your confession, a deafening silence that was killing you on the inside. before you heard the words you were dreading to hear. the words that shattered you into pieces when you heard them.

"y/n. i don't feel the same."

the words echoed in your head, the whole situation felt like a nightmare, a horrible one. it was like your whole world came crashing down. you were completely frozen, biting your bottom lip as you supressed the tears that threatened to seep through your eyes and stream down your face. your throat closed up and it seemed like you could curl up into a ball and die right then and there. you nodded slowly, standing up as you were getting ready to leave.

"i understand." you mumbled, grabbing your bag as you turned away from him, walking out of the dorm. you didn't want him to see you cry. he couldn't see you cry. atleast not because of him.

jeongin’s expression became more sad as he processed your reaction. he was unsure to comfort you, since he was the cause of your pain. so he just sat there, silent as you exited. and hearing the door shut just made his heart ache more. he didn’t expect your reaction. but he couldn’t bring himself to go outside. it was as if he couldn’t move. his thoughts racing. he was so conflicted and lost in them.

'why can’t i like her back…?', 'i don’t want her to be sad..', 'why do i feel so guilty?'. that was all that was going through his head as he sat on the couch, frozen.

a moment of silence passed. but the quiet atmosphere was shattered with the sound of jeongin shutting his laptop. he abruptly stood up.

“fuck.”

you were taking a cab back to your apartment, tears rolling down your cheeks as you sniffled silently. "you're an fucking idiot" is all that went through your head. why did you even confess? you ruined everything. that was for sure. your thoughts just kept getting more and more negative until you suddenly got a call from jeongin. knowing that he wanted to probably ask where you were, you were hesitant on picking up. but your heart was stronger than your head, so you picked up.

"y/n! fucking christ.. where are you?" you heard him the other side of the phone, sounding like he was grabbing his keys and his coat to go outside.

"jeongin, i'll be fine. i just need some time alone. if you come and try to make things right, it might turn out worse. please."

you were basically pleading with him, your voice was shaky and tired, trying to rub your tears away.

hearing your voice over the phone, it only made him feel even worse. his heart clenched and a wave of guilt washed over him once more, running his fingers through his hair.

“i-i know i said i didn’t feel the same but… i can’t leave you like this..” he spoke quietly, hesitating. "just tell me where you are.. please?"

you sigh, knowing that arguing with him wouldn't help much.

"in a cab, headed to my apartment."

jeongin listened to the sound of you sighing and he slightly relaxed at the fact that you told him where you were headed.

“okay..” he mumbled, biting his nail. he spoke again in a softer tone of voice. “i’m coming.”

you wince, having a small feeling that this was going to happen.

"please jeongin, can we just talk tomorrow..?"

he let out a shaky exhale. he didn’t want to upset you further, but he was also extremely stubborn.

“please.. i just want to make sure that you’re okay..” he pleaded once more, he truly cared about your well-being.

you groaned.

"goodness... okay, but youre not staying for long, 'kay?"

he smiled to himself, a sense of relief washing over him. it didn’t matter if he was only staying for a few minutes, at least he could see you.

“yeah.. i won’t stay long.”

he reassured you, grabbing his coat, keys and phone, before leaving the apartment.

"see you." he says before hanging up the phone and catching a cab himself to head to your house.

you watched him hang up the phone, running a hand through your hair, groaning. you looked out the window, seeing that you were basically at your apartment now, so you paid the driver as he parked and got out, heading inside to your apartment.

you changed into comfortable clothes as you waited for jeongin to arrive to your apartment, still somewhat crying and your tears stain the baggy white shirt you wore. you sat on the couch, running your fingers through your hair. you suddenly remembered a small conversation the two of you had as little kids.

"what would you do if a genie could grant you three wishes?" you asked jeongin with a toothy smile, sitting on the swings with him on a cold winter day, which was rare in busan.

"genies dont exist..."

"oh shut up! what if they did?"

"i would wish..." jeongin thought about the question for a moment before answering. "to be rich! super duper rich!"

you rolled your eyes with a frown, kicking the snow infront of you.

"thats so boring!!"

"oh yeah? then what would you wish for?"

you paused for a moment, smiling at him again when you had your wish.

"i would wish to be your friend forever! i want to be your friend for as long as possible!"

he laughed and threw a snowball at you. "thats so stupid."

you gasp as he threw the snowball at you, pouting.

"so you dont want to be my friend?? wow.. how mean can you get.."

"i didnt mean it like that! goodness.."

you glared at him, still pouting.

"then what did you mean?"

he smiled at you, sweetly.

"we are gonna be friends no matter what, always and forever. you wouldn't need a wish."

you smiled back at him.

"promise?"

"promise."

you got snapped out of your trance as you heard a knock on the door, rushing to it. after a few seconds, you opened the door to meet jeongin's eyes. you looked tired, and it was definitely obvious you were previously crying from your tear stained shirt.

"come in." you mumbled.

when the door opened and you revealed yourself, his heart ached. your red puffy eyes and tear-stained top were the first things that he noticed. he looked at you with a mix of guilt and sadness.

he slowly walked in, taking off his shoes and coat, setting them aside. without a word, he walked closer to you. jeongin hesitated before pulling you into a tight embrace. his mind was a mess but one thing he knew for sure, he was happy to be close to you right now.

you were extremely tense due to the hug, and you werent sure if this was right. he didnt like you, why was he hugging you, comforting you? you didnt know. so many thoughts were racing through your mind and you couldnt relax.

you wish things were different.

jeongin could feel the tension in your body as he held you. he pulled you closer, gently rubbing your back in an attempt to soothe you.

he closed his eyes, pressing his cheek against your head. he wanted to stay like this for a while. he needed to be close to you. but at the same time, he felt conflicted. like he shouldn’t be doing this since he didn’t feel the same.

he wishes things couldve stayed the same.

after a while, he finally spoke. his voice was soft and gentle. he was still torn but he had to say something.

“i’m.. sorry.. i’m really sorry..” he mumbled, his voice coming out a bit shaky.

"its not your fault that you don't reciprocate my feelings. i shouldn't have confessed in the first place. i should be the one apologizing." you said with a sigh.

jeongin’s heart ached, as you spoke those words. he tightened his embrace around you, not letting go.

“no.. don’t apologize.. please..”

he was trying to hold back the tears, his eyes burning. there was too much going through his mind right now.

he held you tighter against his chest, his hand resting on the back of your head. he couldn’t even look you in the eyes. guilt and sadness filling him.

“you.. you don’t know how much i wish i could like you..” he muttered.

"you cant force yourself to like me to make me happy."

you mumble, rubbing his back reassuringly. as much as you wished he liked you back, you wanted him to be honest more than anything.

he buried his head in the crook of your neck. you were being the reasonable one right now. he was so confused and conflicted about his feelings. why couldn’t he like you? why did it hurt him when he had to reject you?

“then.. why does it hurt me..?” he mumbled, his voice was shaky.

you sigh.

"because we're friends. if i was the reason a friend of mine is crying, it would hurt me aswell, not just them."

you mutter, trying to reason with him and calm him down.

"you didnt mean to hurt me, and it wouldve hurt more if you lied to me. so its better that you told the truth to me."

jeongin closed his eyes, listening to your words. he knew you were right but he couldn’t help but feel guilty and conflicted. he hummed in agreement, holding you tighter. he didn’t know what to do with the whirlwind of emotions inside him. he mumbled once more.

“i don’t want to lose you..”

you wrap your arms around him, hugging him back finally.

"youre not going to lose me anytime soon."

jeongin took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. your presence was comforting and he was grateful for your reassurance. he muttered, keeping his head tucked in your shoulder.

“promise?”

you nodded, hugging him tight.

"promise."

he closed his eyes once again, breathing in your scent. for some reason, he didn’t want to let go. he was supposed to leave after minutes but he wanted to stay for longer. to be near you longer. he gently rested his forehead against your shoulder, feeling your warmth and closeness. the warmth felt so wrong, but so right. after a moment of silence, he spoke, his voice barely above a soft whisper.

“stay like this with me for a few more minutes.. please?”

you sigh, a little hesitant to stay like this longer, knowing your feelings for him still lingered, and this seemed wrong. he knew it just as much as you did. but you hummed in agreement anyways, not pulling away.

jeongin smiled against your shoulder, hearing you agree to let him stay a bit longer. he knew you were probably hesitating due to your feelings for him, but he didn’t want to let go. he needed this, he needed you right now. his grip on your waist tightened slightly, his body pressing against yours. it was as if he wanted to stay like this forever, not caring about the time.

he mumbled as he held you, feeling a wave of sadness wash over him.

“i wish i could like you..”

you sighed again, feeling guilty for liking him.

"its okay."

you mumbled, knowing that you wished the same thing aswell.

your feelings continued to linger for months, a year or two, but he still didn't like you back.

he only realized his feelings for you were clearer than the blue, summer skies when you were gone. when you moved away from busan to start a new life.

the promise was broken.

and sure, the wishes came true. but just like his feelings, they came true much too late.

"she was my wish, the only wish i couldn't make come true."

[peaceoutofthepieces]

4 + kandreil for the ask game ? hope you’re doing well <33

you could not have chosen better tysm

4. Shut-Up Kiss

Andrew berates Neil endlessly for running his mouth, but Neil has never known anyone to rant as pointlessly and frequently as Kevin. Sometimes it's almost charming; Kevin's love for history sends him on tangents of fascination every now and again, especially with a drink or two loosening his tongue, and his genuine respect and fanboy adoration for the Trojans—and Jeremy Knox—is almost sweet. Sometimes it's concerning; Kevin's breathing turns ragged and his eyes grow foggy when his mind returns to the Nest, and sometimes, now, commentary will come with it, the knowledge that Riko can't touch him anymore allowing Kevin to tell some of the stories that have refused to die with Riko, at least when Andrew and Neil are the only ones around to hear it.

Other times, it's annoying as shit. In these instances, Neil cannot help thinking Kevin's tattoo is glaringly accurate.

Kevin is nothing if not a drama queen.

"You have been doing this drill for two years," Kevin rants now, eyes full of thundery frustration as he looks down at Neil. "You should have long perfected it, even without the addition of your captaincy, and soon I will not be here to pick up your slack. I do not understand how you expect to–"

The thing about Kevin's ranting now is that it's annoying as shit, but the angrier Neil is at Kevin these days the more he wants him. Neil doesn't—will never—find Kevin's scoldings endearing or amusing or anything of the sort, too short of temper as he is, but he has always found a pull in response to Kevin's fire because of how terribly it matches his own.

The thing about Kevin's ranting now is that Neil can still fantasise about punching him while kissing him instead.

Kevin makes a noise against Neil's mouth, indignant and pissed off and wanting, and the fire in Neil's veins stokes higher, burns hotter. He curls a hand around Kevin's neck and draws him down, down, satisfied only when Kevin's arms fall to his waist and pull him up in response.

They only startle apart when a ball thwacks the floor a few inches from their feet, both breathing hard. Neil feels a savage smile curl his lips at the sight of Kevin's hooded eyes, his lips parted and silent.

Then he looks over at Andrew, who appears as bored as ever to anyone who knows him less, but to Neil is amused and annoyed and interested all at once, if only for how his gaze bores into them. He raises an eyebrow at Neil, and Neil is shrugging before he has even consciously decoded the expression, agreeing yes, alright, I'm stealing your moves now.

"Thanks for the show," Andrew says, dryly, and Kevin makes another wordless noise somewhere between dismissive and craving. "Are you done yet?"

To give credit where credit is due, in the past few months of embedding himself more deeply in them than ever before, Kevin had found the remainder of his spine and has been learning to recover himself remarkably quickly. He presses his palm to the dip of Neil's spine and meets Andrew's eyes to return, "Eager to get back to the dorms?"

Andrew flicks his gaze over to Neil, and Neil obliges; Andrew is not quite close enough, but Neil is more than happy to kiss Kevin quiet again.

send me a number + ship

[alaskan-wallflower]

i’m deadass fucking terrified right now like i’m volunteering and i have no idea what the fuck i’m supposed to do and if i’m late or not mad my mom refuses to help me because i have to be independent which i get but im being a pussy and i just want to curl up in a ball and die because nobody else knows what’s going on, i’m gonna make a fool of myself and im shaking i want to cry because i literally just woke up and my mom was yelling at me to leave because i would’ve been prepared for this but u wasn’t and i genuinely just want to fucking die right now

[somerandomcryptid]

Ok so this is a dreaming of death wip I did a while ago that I will probably rewrite at somepoint because the pacing's weird to me but I like the characterizations, and how I did Cryptid's inner monologue so I'm just posting it here :)

“Dream?” Their voice cracks when his name leaves their lips. He looks so…. Apologetic…It looks so genuine…

“I missed you….” He mumbles, and they're pulled into a hug, it's loose grip, gentle. It doesn't feel natural for him. Not after the months of crushing affection. His sharp fingers run themselves through their hair, scratching their scalp in a way that is all too relaxing.

“You're not mad at me for-” Wait. Sharp. They immediately grab his wrist. “Stop fucking with my head, XD.” XD’s lips -they're not his, get out of his body get out get out get out- curl up into a smirk.

He grabs their jaw roughly, pulling them onto their tip toes in a way Dream had done so often when he was angry. Apologize apologize apologize, their head rings out with immediate commands for response, I need to make it- XD was just fucking with their head. They knee him in the stomach, they would have fallen if not for his hand holding them up.

“You know you can't hurt me right?” XD comments amusedly. They roll their eyes.

“Worth a shot. Now let me go and-” The god interrupts them. Bitch-

“You still miss him so much. After all the things he's done, you still miss him. After you were so adamant of to leave him, to stop the pain. And then you still embrace what you think to be him like a sad little puppy. Tell me, little one, is the true reason you don't want to go back because you know you’ll always cave to him. You’ll always let him mold you into whatever you want. To break you just because he can, to fuel his own selfish want for affection. You're so desperate that you'd endure that? What we’re your parents like to make that w-”

“Get them out of your mouth. You don't fucking get to yoink me out of my life and then have the gawl to ask why I’m so fucked in the head.” They hiss out, grabbing the wrist holding their jaw and wrenching themself out of his hold. “Now get out of my head. And get out of his body for fucks sake.” XD chuckles.

“It's amusing you think you can order me around.” He starts pacing around them, god they hate it when he does that.

“Well it is my mind, logic would say I control it.” They respond, rolling their eyes, he just bursts out laughing, his smile way too wide for Dream’s face.

“When have you ever controlled your own mind, my little puppet?” ew. Hate that pet name. “I mean one doesn't even have to be a god to make you into a shell to fill with their own ideas. With their own wants. You’d break your own spine if it meant you felt like you belonged.” It's not true, it's not true, it's not true-

“Just get out of my head XD, I don't want to- I’m not talking about this.” XD laughs again, such a grating sound.

“You know it! You know your a fucking push over. You know you are so mentally weak!” His voice is even more gleeful now. It makes them want to slap him and curl up into a ball and die all at once.

“Just leave me alone XD.” They won't cry, they won't cry, they won't cry. XD’s grin practically gets wider, if that's even possible.

“Oh please do cry. You cry so enjoyably.” No no no no, they don't want to cry in front of him. They can’t, he didn't even say anything that bad. You don't need to- they wipe their eyes. Crybaby. Stupid fucking tears.

They properly curl up, burying their head in their knees.

“Please just wake me up.” It's embarrassingly a whine, but they can’t help it. They just need out. They need out, they need out, they- XD crouches down beside them, pulling their head out of their knees. He’s still grining too fucking wide. And they still want to collapse into him and just cry. No. Don't do that. Absolutely don't.

“See? Weak.” He coos.

“But, I suppose I’ve had my fun. For tonight at least.” With that they shoot up from their bed, gasping for proper breaths and their face sticky with tears. Fuck. That was hell.

They slide out of bed, it's in the early hours of the morning. But they’ve decided they never want to sleep again. Not if that fucker is going to taunt them in their dreams.They try to traverse the house as quietly as they can, they just want a drink of water, and maybe to burn their soul somewhere so they don't have to deal with any of this shit anymore. But when they get to the kitchen Sam is still up, tinkering with some kind of gadget, Fran sleeping on his foot.

Sam’s also not wearing his gas mask, it's the first time they’ve ever seen him without it. He glances up and clearly spots them, his eyes going wide once he notices that they’ve clearly been crying.He rushes up, disturbing Fran in the process, who looks dejected for a few seconds before following Sam to them.

“What happened? Are you hurt? nightmares? Are you homesick? What do you need?” Sam’s voice is going very fast, and he looks them up and down for wounds. They’re a bit taken aback. And they can't process that many things right now.

“Please slow down.” They mumble, rubbing their temples in an attempt to ground themself. They hear Sam let out a breath, one of those self regulatory ones.

“Sorry kid. I just… panicked.. that's all. Do you.. do you… how can I.. how can I make you feel better?” Don't hug him don't hug him don't-

They hug him. He tentatively hugs them back, like they're made out of glass and easily breakable, which they suppose they are for him. They can feel their eyes start to sting as just… everything comes crashing down at them at once. They’ve had these moments before, where everything they’ve been through just properly hits them again. But usually they happen alone.

“Kid.. please tell me what's going on… I want to help you…” His voice is soft, and it brings them some amount of comfort.

“I just…. I just want this all to be over… I just want it to be simple again…” They mumble into his chest, they can feel their tears soaking into his sweater, they really hope he doesn't mind. Sam sighs.

“I’m so sorry you got pulled into this Cryptid… you didn't deserve that…” He murmurs back to them. “But I promise I will keep you safe, I’ll try to make it at least somewhat normal for you. I promise. You're just a kid. You shouldn't be involved in all of this.” That makes them sob more, not because of their usual disgust about the idea, but because he's right.

They feel Fran nudge their hip before they can spiral about that too much. The let go off Sam so they can sit down and hug Fran, who curls up in their lap, despite being too big for it. So they snuggle against her, nuzzling their face into her fur, Fran doesn't seem to mind getting wet either, just seeming concerned with making them feel better.

They hear Sam sit down beside them, and the immediately lay their head in his lap, still with Fran in their lap. It's a bit of an uncomfortable position sure, but Sam runs his finger through their hair gently. And that combined with Fran helps calm them. At least a bit.

“I won't let him hurt you again.” Sam mumbles after a few moments. They almost say something dumb about fighting a god before realizing Sam means Dream, not XD.They don't have a response to that. “Do you… do you still think Dream is the good guy?” He asks, sounding almost afraid to receive the answer. Thankfully a smartass response comes to their head before a logical one.

“I think good guys and bad guys are a concept constructed by territory instincts. Actually! Overall it seems that most bases for morality are based around territorial and pack instincts. Oh fun fact actually! The conditions that create sapien life probably also create as byproduct discrimination due to differences due to sapiance being linked to extremely competitive environments such that learning new things rapidly and passing on such information becomes necessary for survival!” Do they start going on a ramble to ignore having to confront that question, to have to categorize Dream as… something? Yes. They don't even want to think about Dream, much less categorize him. So yeah they totally do it to distract themself.

But it is a genuinely interesting topic! So they manage to ramble for a while, and then that ramble somehow turns into a ramble about cat genetics, and to his credit Sam listens, he looks a bit sad looking at them, but he listens, and he does seem interested. The next thing they know it it’s 3:45am and oh god they’ve been info dumping about everything they know about evolution and cat genetics for almost an hour and a half.

“Sorry, I’m probably boring you.” They finally say, but Sam doesn't look bored or annoyed when they look up at him, his gaze is affectionate

“You're not. I think it's really cool you're so interested in this kind of thing. I didn't expect it.” He almost reminds them of their mom in how he says it, which is to say, genuinely proud and interested. They can't help but smile at him, even though they still feel bad for keeping him up so late.

“Yeah, but you probably want to go to bed by now.” They reply apologetically. He ruffles their hair fondly, but he looks almost sad.

-

God this kid. They apologize so much, for things that aren't even anything to apologize for, if Dream is the reason they feel the need to do this- He reminds himself to calm down as he feels the gunpowder rize in his throat. Those small sparks die down as he looks back at Cryptid, and his heart melts.

“It really wouldn't have mattered, kid. I have a really hard time sleeping anyway.” They still look so guilty.

-

HOW THE FUCK IS THAT 1.7K???? Idk but ughhhhhh why does the pacing have to feel weird when it's so many words.

Um anyway sorry it's unfinished and needs reworking I just wanted to post the original so it didn't rot in my docs

Writing Cryptid pov is very therapeutic and easy because they think in the same style as me :)

(Dreaming of death is an au of the fic Penpal by @calamari-minecraft-corner)

[nerves-nebula]

Do current events ever make you feel so unsure and afraid and physically sick with worry for others and about violent political trends that only seem to be getting worse that you wanna curl into a ball and genuinely die because you can’t see things getting better and you don’t even have the energy to do your mundane daily tasks and homework without sleeping for hours every evening which only makes things worse and you can’t help but want to end it all just to get out of this world you never fit into even in the best of times but also you’re afraid that if you kill yourself you’ll just wake up as a new person in a worse situation. Nothing horrifies me in these moments quite like the fear that reincarnation is real and I will never ever escape this.

[allylikethecat]

i genuinely do not think its possible for any one person to have more energy than i do atm. IM GONNA DIE. please im gonna actually die ok ok ok wait so. i promise i am sane. however.

Matty was still standing in the aisle way, the brim of his helmet casting his face in shadow. Even while wearing a crew neck sweatshirt over his show shirt and tie, George could tell that he had lost weight. He was holding himself carefully, looking up at George with wide eyes, like he couldn’t believe that he was actually standing before him.

TEARS IN MY ACTUAL EYES. george can tell hes lost weight ☹️ hes holding himself like that again ☹️ i cannot DO THIS ALLY im gonna scream and cry in a really good way but also a very sad way pls this is so ☹️☹️☹️ george u fucked up real bad and im gonna punch u for it hoe...

They reached the back of the barn and Matty turned, his arms crossed in front of his chest. George wasn’t sure if the position was a defensive one, or one meant to self soothe.

im convinced u want me dead. this is. AAAAHHH but in a sad way. just that line oh george u fucked up so so so so so so so unbelievably badly LOOK WHAT UVE DONE TO HIIIM im gonna cry. the way u described it is ☹️☹️☹️ like either way hes Not In A Good Way AND. i dont even know. im having. A CRISIS i love this so much

“You’re not my keeper,” said Matty, the ice in his voice freezing George’s veins. “That’s not up to you.”

tears in my actual eyes im srs this is so ☹️☹️☹️ (emoji of the day ong) im literally about to die pls no the one time hes confident in his words is when george has hurt him THIS BADLY that he just has to be IM GONNA SOB. 😭 thats 😭 not 😭 up 😭 to 😭 you 😭

Matty snorted, “That’s funny,” he said cruelly, “because I think you’re the one that pushed me away. You fell off Mars and somehow that was my fault and meant that I was stealing drugs from the barn. Something you went and told our boss to try and get me fired.”

every chapter i think Wow this cannot get any better. then BAM. george being completely oblivious to how badly hes hurt matty is making me want to curl up into a ball and die because of SADNESS im gonna. AUGH. pls no omfg i dont even have words like usually i at least try to say things that Make Sense but IM SO. AJSHJSJSJSH I CANT EVEN DO THAT i need u to write a book Right Now

George blinked, Matty’s words a shot to the chest. Matty loved him. Matty had loved him as in past tense. He swallowed hard.

I AUDIBLY GASPED. nononoejsiqksjswkd pls LOVED IN THE PAST TENSE im about to rip my heart out of my own chest this is the best thing ever pls george LOOK WHAT U DDIIIIIIIIDDDDDD

“You’re missing the point!” Matty shouted, “I don’t want to try.”

STOP IT RIGHT NOW STOOOPPPPPPPP STAWP STOOOPPP STOP IT NOW STOP STPPROOQOSOOWIXIOWOXOS ally. how do u. DO THIS. its eleven words and im clutching my chest and screaming silently. a way with words im sO SRS

“Everything,” said George, “I’m sorry for the way I took you for granted, for the way I didn’t take your feelings and needs into account during our relationship,” he swallowed hard, “I’m sorry for the way I let my jealousy take control and the way I took it out on you, and I’m sorry that I let my feelings about Matthew Healy, the rider I grew up wanting to compete against, overtake my feelings for Matty Healy the person. Because Matty Healy the person is one of the kindest, strongest, most resilient people I have ever met and he shouldn’t give up his dream because I’m an asshole.” George took a breath, “and I just, I don’t care if you hate me, you should hate me, but don’t let more of my mistakes keep you from coming back to Dirty Hit, don’t let it keep you from coming back home.”

THIS ENTIRE PARAGRAPH???????????? im im AWE this is beautiful and its going to make me SOB. 😭 dont 😭 let 😭 it 😭 keep 😭 you 😭 from 😭 coming 😭 back 😭 home 😭 HIS HOOOME ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ pls im gonna start screaming crying throwing up pls slpslskqikakdkkwosoi I CANNOT DEAL. difference between matthew healy and matty healy is making me DIE

Matty sniffled. “Do you actually mean that?” he asked, his voice shaking, he had his arms wrapping around himself again.

George nodded. “I’ve never meant anything more.”

HES NEVER MEANT ANYTHING MORE MATTY PLSPLS i am genuinely fighting for my life rn this is the best ever and i love it so much and the way u write them is so Jajjanzjjwjdjjwisijs in an amazing way and im gonna EXPLODE AND DIE because of this one line. "ive never meant anything more." AKANJAJDJWJKZKQJ OKAY THEN DO U WANT ME DEAD. DO U WANT ME SOBBING ON MY FLOOR. BECAUSE I WILL. but also thats The Goal u know. emotion. ok. im going to DIE but pls pls understand i mean all of this in a very positive way and i am not telling u i hate u with this because i actually do not have the ability in my body to hate anything u have ever or will ever write and i am professionally thanking u for writing this 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ MY JESUS U KNOW. ok. enjoy ur day and i will be screaming crying in my room over this in a Very Very good way. also i apologise for my lack of punctuation im having a horse gatty crisis

AHHH Thank you so much for reading! I apologize for being so slow in the response department 😭 Y'all are kind enough to send me asks then I take ten years to respond I'm so sorry.

Horse shows are physically hell on your body when you're like, healthy and emotionally stable... Fictional!Matty is none of those things he is struggling... and Fictional!George is so obsessed with him that of course he notices!

Fictional!George has put Fictional!Matty through HELL he is confused, and hurt and thought he found a home and a family and someone that care about him but then Fictional!George burnt it all down with his jealousy. BUT Fictional!George is Fictional!George and is so caught up in himself he didn't even realize it 🥺 He realizes it now though!! Sort of... it's a work in progress

Thank you SO MUCH for reading and for sending me such a wonderful and enthusiastic ask omg I smiled SO HARD reading it omg I'm just so grateful that you not only took the time out of your day to read my fic but to send me such lovely and detailed commentary?! Thank you, thank you thank you! I hope you liked the epilogue and I hope you continue to enjoy my works!! Have the very BEST Tuesday and a wonderful rest of your week!

❤️Ally

[fereldanwench]

How does your V feel about River. I just did a playthrough where my own V was crushing after someone else (Takemura) and that whole scene with the kids wanting her and River to get together made both me and my V wanna curl up in a ball and die from how awkward it was. Just curious as to your own feelings on River.

Ahhhhh, so I was writing a very long answer, and then Tumblr just wiped it on me. 😭 Thanks, Tumblr.

ANYWAY, River's romance wasn't for me or Valerie. 😅

I'm gonna put the rest under a cut in case anyone wants to avoid River critical opinions, and I really want to stress that this is just my preference. I'm not trying to convince anyone not to like their boy--I actually liked River outside of his romance, and I genuinely enjoy other folks' River ships. I also think a lot of my issues with the romance can be chalked up to neglect from the devs. But playing through it was nevertheless a minefield of squicks for me.

From Valerie's perspective, she basically saw River as a decent, principled guy while they were working together on the Rhyne/Peralez investigation, but thought their relationship, working or otherwise, would be concluded when they wrapped that up. She admires that he wants to stick to his convictions and go to IA with the corruption, but she is a much more cynical person when it comes to the powers that be, and he doesn't respond overly fondly when she says such.

So Valerie is very surprised when he reaches out for help with Randy, and she assumes it's totally out of desperation rather than any interest in her personally. Johnny, of course, picks up on it, which she sort of brushes off, but when River starts saying things like "I'll tell you about it over a beer sometime," she does get the sense that maybe he's interested in more than just her professional help.

By this point, though, Valerie is smitten with Goro. She's denying it to herself, and trying to keep her focus on the Relic and fixing her terminal condition (which River doesn't even know about), but either way: she has no interest in pursuing anything romantic or sexual with River.

She does help River with Randy, because despite any awkwardness she feels around River, she's not gonna let a kid potentially die because of it. But again, when they part ways, Valerie thinks that's that. So when he calls later, telling her that he misses her and inviting her to family dinners, Valerie is immediately like hey, buddy, don't do this.

I think the most in-character thing for her would be to not go to the dinner and just wish him well on the phone call, but since the game won't let you close out the quest without making an appearance, I made her suffer through the world's most awkward family meet-n-greet.

Valerie doesn't dislike kids, but she's not overly keen on them either, particularly those who aren't related to her, so playing with them and a man she's trying to let down gently is incredibly uncomfortable. She also doesn't particularly appreciate the way Joss probes into her family life or plans for a family life, and when the kids do the "raise your hand if you think River and V would be a good couple," Valerie has pretty much fuckin' had it.

And then, when they're chatting up on the water tank, Valerie is frustrated that River implies she's been stringing him along when she's tried as nicely as possible to tell him she's not interested. She's also sober and the daughter of an addict who lost her life to drugs and alcohol, so she does not find his "I can be awfully charming when drunk" comment endearing at all.

So, after all is said and done, Valerie doesn't really want anything to do with River anymore. She might be willing to help him professionally again, and she's still friendly with him, but she doesn't think of him as a friend.

As for my personal opinion on the romance, I think it was just incredibly underdeveloped (especially compared to the ladies), and that lack of development paired with the fact that he's the only male romance option available to female Vs ends up having a lot of frustrating and troubling implications.

It does kind of feel like CDPR made a very bold assumption that what women who are attracted to men want in a relationship is something that is heavily centered around family and children. As a woman who does not like that in real life or fiction and often has to defend my own child-free relationship, I found that very off-putting. And this isn't to say that it shouldn't exist at all--I fully support anyone who does enjoy this take on a romance, and I'm glad they got to have something they enjoyed--I just really wish it wasn't the only option.

I also don't like that there's no way to reject him without subjecting yourself to the awkward family dinner. It makes him feel very pushy if you're not into him, which I feel probably isn't the intent. I'm sure some folks would take the stance that it's more realistic, but I'm okay with forgoing a little realism if it means I don't have to have the uncomfortably immersive experience of telling a man I'm not into him while we're sitting atop a water tower and he's getting drunk. 😬😬😬

I also really disliked both his and V's responses if you chose the "ever feel lonely?" prompt, which I talked about here.

But the Peralez/Rhyne mission with him is actually one of my favorites in the game, and if his story had stayed more in that route, like fighting the corruption in the NCPD, I probably would have enjoyed him overall a lot more.

And if I remember correctly, Goro's creation also ended up affecting how River was utilized in the story--I think he was supposed to have a bigger role in some of the corporate happenings, but the writers realized they wanted someone deep inside Arasaka instead, hence Goro. Well, first it was going to be a more villainess lady character, and then it became Goro because they wanted to humanize Arasaka more.

So yeah. Those are my complicated thoughts on River. I mean, from the in-character perspective, it's pretty straightforward, but my own opinions on him are kind of ambivalent.

[tklpilled]

obligatory "i just joined a fandom and need to make hcs for it" post (but its only the characters i like the most)

TANJIRO. BABY BABY BABY BABY

I LOVE HIM SM

he'll be like "oh!! sorry im ticklish there!!" if you accidentally tickle him HES SO SWEET I CANT STAND IT

sososo giggly and he curls up into a ball and kicks his feet a little HES SO CUTEEEE

he will let you tickle him if you ask

hes also the best person to go to if ur in a lee mood bc he'll be like "if it makes you happy!! :D" and hes so gentle too

but he will make you outright ask for it bc he genuinely does not know what you want otherwise

i think he was the oldest sibling? dont quote me on that but i know was at least one of the oldest so he has experience

if he needs to convince someone to do something he goes straight to tickling

inosuke ... does not know what tickling is

this is completely unrelated but he sounds like muscle man in the dub and i fucking lose it every time

ANYWAY zenitsu's trying to tickle him or something and he's like "no wtf dont touch me"

so zenitsu's like "damn .. then i guess tanjiro is more ticklish than you ....." "no the FUCK he is NOT" (<- does not know what that means)

so. cut to inosuke trying to stay still while being thoroughly wrecked bc he is BETTER than tanjiro in EVERY WAY

idk i feel like his back is super ticklish. like if you poke him he jumps ten feet in the air

he takes tickling as a competition so sometimes he accidentally goes too far/is too rough when tickling someone

but he apologises afterwards. in his own way

(the way in question: calling them dumb for being too weak to handle it and needing to be treated like a baby. he means it affectionately ok)

GIYUU <333

super ticklish but actually really good at hiding it??

like there are only one or two spots that will actually get him to break so most people think hes not ticklish

but he IS and i will die on this hill

once you break him he IMMEDIATELY bursts into laughter like theres no buildup

he makes a lot of threats but he doesnt mean any of them

if you tease him he goes bright pink he cant handle it

especially compliments. tell him how cute his smile is and he's like.. a concerning shade of red

his knees and ribs both seem like really good spots for him

hes not the kinda guy to just spontaneously tickle someone, but like. if you ask him to then he will

kind of an awkward tickler but still effective

i want tengen uzui so so so badly

i wanna be one of his wives its NOT FAIR

anyway hes. very very good at tickling

he can immediately pick out all of your worst spots its HORRIBLE

teasy mf. i hate him

this is a very specific thing i think about but he's the type of guy to get super close like he's about to kiss you and then suddenly grab your sides

but its all a coverup bc he himself is also very ticklish

he doesnt let anyone tickle him though unless he's in the mood

like if you even THINK about it he's onto you

[probablynotsamantha]

Stupid but I'm having a lot of feelings about not having done a lot of things yet, like I know there's not a timeline you have to conform to but I want to go away to college, I want to have a long-term relationship, I want to have sex, I want to start hormones, I want to have independence from my parents, and I just feel so behind because I'm stuck doing a lot of nothing and being depressed as hell instead... it's just sinking in that I'll probably never get to do a lot of stuff I've always wanted to and have to wait a long time for others and have to watch other people go do all the stuff I want to do and have all the experiences I'm not having and really genuinely be happy for them but at the same time my heart is breaking because I should be there too, and don't get me started on finding someone who wants the same sort of relationship I do where there's mutual interest, I can't imagine that's ever gonna happen and I was stupid enough to think that it had and I just want to curl up in a ball and die because living with this shitty situation is just pure hell and I've been putting up with it for years and I don't know how much longer I can before I just snap, I'm pretty sure my brain doesn't work as well as it used to just due to the whole being depressed for 10 years straight, everyone always says it'll get better but it's only really gotten worse and now my entire support structure is gone and I can't live like this and I suck at making new friends and I just want to have a life I can enjoy but I have to live with my shitty family with my friends not being here for most of the year and not seeing them much when they are and it's just not going to get better because it's always one step forward and two steps back and I can't do a single fucking thing right

[samethyst01]

A Mother's Love: Chapter Three

As the argent glow of the moon shone through Coraline’s window, she stood facing it with her back to her uninvited guest. She had wrapped a blanket around her shoulders, her body heavy with anticipation and the clammy, uncomfortable sensation of the clothes she had worn all day still clinging to her skin. She wanted to change into her pyjamas, but not in front of her visitor. She could wait until they had discussed the elephant in the room.

“She’s back, isn’t she?”

She didn’t have to turn around. She knew what was coming next. And come it did.

“It seems she never perished.”

There came that familiar purring voice, one she had come to expect when she was lost in the folds of the Other World, the witch’s minions hunting her down. Slowly she turned around to face him, watching as he sat on her bed and stared at her. It was almost frightening, the way the moonlight glanced off his frame and illuminated his shadow on the wall behind. Coraline wanted to wake up from this dream, wanted it desperately, but try as she might she couldn’t convince herself that it was not as real as everything else.

“You never used to talk in the real world. I thought you couldn’t.”

The Cat said nothing.

Coraline scoffed before leaning back against the windowsill and folding her arms, considering her options. She could curl into a ball and force herself to sleep away the apparition, waking in the morning to find that all her worrying was over nothing and she could go back to living her normal, ordinary life. She could dive out the window to the streets below and escape everything forever, and whatever horrors the Other World had in store for her could die alongside her. Or…

“I did what you asked. I dumped the key down the well where she couldn’t get it.”

The Cat’s hackles raised.

“The well is just another portal to her world.”

Coraline tensed. If that was true, if all her work thirteen years ago had been for nothing, then— then that was horrifying. More than that, it was infuriating, and it caused Coraline’s fists to ball up and her brow to furrow. She took a step forward, no intentions to strike the animal but rage building inside of her.

“So you lied to me…”

Sensing her anger, he shook his head.

“There are secrets that I even I do not know. I am sorry.”

For a moment, Coraline’s anger was diffused. Not due to anything as simple as an apology, but because in the short time she’d known the Cat, he’d never apologised for anything. She had come to know him as a haughty, condescending creature who thought the world of himself. He had been instrumental in the Beldam’s defeat, and taught her everything she needed to know about the Other World, but he was neither gracious nor polite. About the only time he ever showed genuine care for her was when he dropped the third ghost’s eye in front of her, having slain the rat that guarded it.

Biting her lip, Coraline took a step back and thought about exactly how she was going to approach the subject. It felt like every time she wanted to say it, say that name, her brain screamed at her to stop. She felt cold tingles running up and down her spine, and without even thinking she had already sat down on the bed next to the Cat. He was silent, and so was she, and that silence remained for a while until it was broken, not by Coraline but by her feline companion.

“I had always assumed she would die eventually. As all creatures do when they are starved. But I fear she is not like any creature in this world. I fear it will take more than starvation to kill her, especially if she gets that key.”

Coraline followed that line of thought.

“It doesn’t make any sense… even if the well was another door, it shouldn’t have led to her world. I mean, we both saw it, it’s nothing but— what did you call it, ‘the empty part of that place’?”

“Do you doubt what I’ve seen?”

His tone was incredulous, his eyes narrowed. There was that arrogance again. Coraline shrugged and didn’t look at him. In response, he circled around her before sitting on her lap, his big blue eyes staring right at her, perhaps into her soul. It was an uncomfortable, almost judgemental stare, as if he was asking her what she’d been doing all these years, why she hadn’t done everything in her power to make sure that the witch never came to the real world and ruined all these other people’s lives along with her own.

“You know what you must do.”

With his words came that horrible pit in Coraline’s stomach. She knew he was right – the Beldam could not be allowed to return to full power – but the thought of even stepping foot back in Ashland made her feel sick to her stomach. What was going to be there, waiting for her? After a few moments of contemplation she turned her gaze toward the Cat and matched the intensity of his expression.

“If she’s still alive in there, I’ll make her sorry for what she’s done. Then I’ll kill her.”

The Cat nodded at her words and slinked off the bed and towards the window. She followed, opening it for him. He hopped up onto the windowsill and the two shared a deep gaze. Coraline began to smile softly.

“I missed you.”

He gave her a doubtful look, but said nothing. He looked out the window and stared at the moon, its glow casting a great silver light onto his body, and he had an ethereal look to him.

“I have faith in you, Coraline. I always have.”

He turned to her, and for the first time since visiting her that night, she could see fear in his deep blue eyes.

“But the Beldam is desperate. She survives only on the thought of escaping the Other World. She will do whatever it takes to have you. She will use trickery, she will manipulate, she will scare you beyond your wits and she will break your soul. But you cannot give in.”

He looked back up at the moon, staring into its light.

“I think she’s watching me.”

And with that, he was gone.

Coraline stumbled back onto her bed and started hyperventilating. She didn’t even realise how much tension was coiled around her soul, and when it lifted, she was a mess. She curled up and tried to steady herself, her heart beating at a rapid pace. He had come here. He had come here and it was real. He had come here and it was real and so was she, and so was everything that had ever happened to her. Now it all made sense, why she had painted that dreaded house, why she felt so on edge, why she knew what was coming, implicitly.

After a while, she steadied herself and came to the realisation that there was no other option. She couldn’t sleep this one away, and jumping out that window would be selfish. No, there was only one thing left for her to do. But she wasn’t ready to face that yet, she had to sleep, had to collect herself. She had to just rest.

The Beldam could wait.

******

Wybie and Coraline didn’t speak to each other in the morning. The air was filled with an uncomfortable weight. She suspected that he heard her talking to the Cat during the night, and if he knew about the Cat then he knew about her plan. She desperately wanted to keep him out of danger, despite the offer of help being so comforting to her. She didn’t know for sure if she could actually go back to Ashland alone, but if she could, she’d do it, and help Wybie stay out of harm’s way. It was the least she could do.

Wybie was working early that day, so they didn’t see much of each other in the morning. Coraline decided she would do some chores around the apartment to try and keep her mind off things, and focused on something else instead of what ate at her. A little after Wybie left, and she’d had her breakfast and freshened up, she started her work, going to the cupboard and grabbing the vacuum cleaner. As she opened the door, something fell out and onto the floor. She crouched down to pick it up, examining it.

It was a button.

Coraline immediately clenched her fist around the object, burying it in her palm. She wasn’t sure whether to be angry, disgusted or terrified, but she settled on a sort of indignant dread. She never kept buttons in the apartment, or anywhere, finding them to be an unpleasant reminder of things she never wanted to remember. Especially considering the thought – buried though it was – that a button signified the Other World, and that perhaps she was still in it, to this day.

With a grunt of repulsion, she stamped into the kitchen and dropped the button into the trash bin. She considered burning it, but she didn’t want to make a mess. She thought for a second that she might be giving the Beldam exactly what she wanted, but she also knew that living in comfort was preferable to forcing herself to stare down her trauma every day. No… she was not going to cave to that evil monster.

Never.

Coraline achieved much progress that day, cleaning both her bedroom and the living room. The kitchen was just a small part of that latter space, given the size of their apartment, and so she managed to clean part of that too with relative ease. She debated going into Wybie’s room, but thought better when she reminded herself that though they were close, it was rude to invade his privacy. Maybe he was building a motorcycle in there or something.

At around two in the afternoon, Coraline sat down with a bowl of chips and began watching something on her phone. She had just started the video when it paused abruptly, an incoming call silencing it. It was an unknown number. Cautiously, she answered.

“Hello?”

“Hi, is this Coraline Jones?”

The voice on the other end belonged to a young woman.

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“Ms Jones, this is Pontiac General Hospital. Your friend Wybie’s been in an accident.”

******

It wasn’t often that Coraline used Uber. She always maintained that the service was far too expensive, and even if she could afford it, regularly, she preferred the peace and quiet of her own music and being able to sit on her own, just staring out the window. She’d only taken a taxi twice in her entire life, both times because she was all out of other options and couldn’t wait for the problem to resolve itself.

This time was no different.

When she received the call, she knew she had to act fast. She called for the Uber and waited impatiently outside the apartment, trying to steady her breathing. She didn’t know what had happened, not in much detail. The only thing she needed to know was whether Wybie would live, and the woman on the phone told her his condition was not critical. That still didn’t put her at ease, and a thousand thoughts swarmed around her head like wasps. They stung at her.

As soon as the Uber arrived, she jumped in and directed it to the hospital. It only took twenty minutes. She said very little to the driver, and he in turn asked few questions, able to tell rather easily that she wasn’t in the mood for conversation. As soon as they arrived at the hospital, Coraline paid the fee and immediately jumped out the car, sprinting to the front desk and demanding to know where to find Wybie. She received a few strange looks but they were the least of her concerns.

She was told that Wybie was in intensive care, and that there had been an accident while he was at work. Apparently, something had caused him to stumble while he was working on a car, and his arm had become trapped under one of the wheels. The car only had to drop for a second, and most of the bones in his arm were shattered. Coraline was horrified, her mind filled with images as she tried desperately not to picture the event… Wybie’s screams… the grinding…

Shaken, she sat in the waiting room for nearly five hours, unable to see her friend until his condition was stabilised. When it was, after she had stared at the wall in complete shock, she was called by a doctor who led her towards Wybie’s room. He was a tall, frail man with a balding head and thick glasses perched atop his nose, rather resembling a professor whom Coraline had admired at her university.

“I’m sorry to say this, Ms Jones, but the damage is extensive. It’ll take months for his arm and hand to heal, not to mention the physical therapy to get them working again. It’s going to be a long and very tough road ahead.”

He spoke with a soft tone, and sounded quite sympathetic. Coraline sniffled, trying her utmost not to cry. She didn’t want to yet, not in front of a stranger.

“How did this happen…?”

The doctor checked over some notes on his clipboard.

“His colleagues called in the ambulance, found him pinned under the car. He was apparently screaming and babbling about a rat,”

And that was enough for Coraline. She barged past him and into Wybie’s room. Her hand covered her mouth instinctively as she saw him, his entire left arm cocooned in a white cast, medical needles inserted into it. She slowly approached, her body shaking with anxiety. He was unconscious, presumably sedated, and he looked like he’d aged ten years in just a few hours. The pain must’ve been horrific.

Coraline began to cry softly as she crouched down beside Wybie, taking his other hand in her own and gently pressing her face against it. This couldn’t have happened, surely it was just another nightmare. But she had come to learn, the hard way, that her life was beginning to get very strange again. First came the dreams, then came the Cat, and now her best friend was laid up in hospital and might never be able to use his left arm again. It almost tipped her teetering mental state off the edge and into the rivers of a breakdown.

But what drowned out her fear in that moment was not misery but rage, rage at the mere thought of another of the Beldam’s minions having slipped into the real world to torment her, and that minion had hurt her friend. She wanted, so badly, to take that little monster and feed it into a wood chipper. More than that, she wanted to grab that witch by her straggly hair and beat her porcelain face into dust, burn down her awful palace, shred apart all of her ridiculous inventions, and board up every single door that led into her world.

As if sensing her desperate fury, Wybie’s hand began to twitch, and he made a sort of gruff croaking sound. Immediately, Coraline shot up and saw his eyes open, the smallest hint of a smile creeping across his face.

“Hey, Coral…”

His voice was hoarse from screaming, but Coraline rejoiced upon hearing it. She reached down and hugged him, careful not to disturb his arm, still crying softly. He did his best to match her movements, wrapping his uninjured arm around her torso. After a few seconds she pulled back, her expression filled with worry. They were both thinking the same thing. Instead of firing questions at him, Coraline sat back on the chair next to his bed, dragging it closer, and just let him explain.

Wybie licked his lips, formulating his sentence the best way he could, before giving her the answers she needed.

“Everything was normal at first… I was just working on the drive shaft… and then I heard this… scurrying noise.”

He paused for a moment and looked over at the bedside table, upon which sat a cup of water. Coraline stood up and grabbed it, bringing it over to him. He sipped it a few times before holding it against his chest.

“It sounded like it was coming from inside the car. I grabbed my torch and I reached inside, and… and it was a rat. A big, fat rat with wild eyes. It bit my hand and I… I dislodged the jack stand somehow. And then the car came down on my arm…”

Coraline winced at the thought, taking a deep, measured inhale. When she looked up, Wybie was staring at her with an expression so intense that she felt fear lurch up her stomach.

“But I swear to you… when the wheel came down… I could hear somebody laughing.”

Now that really did it. Coraline jumped out of her chair and quickly took Wybie’s hand, matching the intensity of his expression. She knew she was going to have to fight her way around this one, but there was no discussion, not anymore.

“I have to go back there, Wybie. I have to finish what we started.”

“I know.”

She raised an eyebrow. She expected a lot more resistance than that, but instead Wybie wasn’t even trying to stop her. He must’ve known her mind was set, and that nothing could change it. That didn’t mean, however, he wasn’t going to make sure she was ready.

“You keep your phone with you at all times… and you call me if things go sideways.”

His voice was calm but firm. Coraline nodded and was about to turn away so she could refill his cup but Wybie grabbed her wrist to stop her. Again came that intense expression.

“Promise me, dragonfly… that you’ll kill that fucking bitch.”

She didn’t even need to think about it.

“I promise you…”

She whispered.

*******

As Coraline stood outside in the hall, her head full of worry and determination in equal measure, she felt around in her pocket for her phone. She found it, but her hand also brushed against something else in her other pocket. She pulled it out, and scoffed as she beheld a small black button. Shaking her head, she threw the button in the trash before dialling her father’s number. She hadn’t even texted him in over a year, and the guilt began to gnaw at her.

It only took two rings before he answered. His voice was husky and filled with surprise.

“Coraline…?”

“Hey, dad…”

She looked down the hall, watching as the shadows began to form the shape of a massive, spectral hand.

“I need to come home for a few days.”

[onlyplatonicirl]

very very good chapter yippee yippeee tcoti my biggest special interest yay hurray huzzah

but in all seriousness the newest chapter was fantastic, all the characters are so well writte, despite condemning what error has done i can sympathise with him so well in this chapter and now throughout the entire story, he is a being who exists outside of reality unable to properly integrate into it because its just not in his nature, his body rejects its very existence and his mind is completely shattered (even more so after what the council did lmao), he seems so hopless in these last few chapters focusing on him, all he wants is to just get to his little void and curl up on a nice comfy bean bag and then fucking die

the way youve characterised ink is also incredibly interesting, he isnt this paragon of moral superiority but he also isnt a naughty no good bad man >:(( , he really truly is just such a uniquely neutral blank slate of a person (or monster ig), he doesnt seem to have any motivations outside of what he deems to be moral but his sense of morality is somewhat twisted by his desires and is doomed to forever be selfish because it only ever serves to suit himself and the current emotional palette hes experiencing, he cannot truly feel in same way others do so hes always running off of what his id tells him, what does he need in that moment to survive? what does he want in this moment to make him feel good? hes a pleasure seeker through and through, so long as his desires dont conflict with the relationships hes already established he'll go for that goal and he wont stop until hes got locked between his teeth through hell or high weather, doesnt matter if it conflicts with his moral compass, who needs one when no ones looking?

dream is also another really fantastic character in this fic, truth be told im usually not the biggest fan of him, a lot of his characterisation, like ink, lacks nuance, hes either a happy go lucky naive ball of energy, or this rude burnt and backstabbed cigar smoking loner, but dream in this seems to be a lot more nuanced, hes had bad past experiences and he does what he believes is right, every character in this story has these sets of moral principles and not all of them align, which is really interesting when you put them all in one room (the council) and force them to try and agree upon one major decision, the results of which will literally affect the entirety of the multiverse, dream believes in a great good otherwise known as utilitarianism - making choices which will maximise the happiness of everyone involved - and right enough killing or otherwise disposing of error would be the most utilitarian option, but he cannot shake the fact that murder is wrong despite how much he hates him and everything hes done

needles to say i am excited for the next chapters, i want to see these three relationship evolve (or devolve), and from the looks of it, dream corruption arc 👀👀????? he may not go the path of his brother, but hot damn that boy is gonna be pissed off at the world and the people who live in it and i cannot wait to see him tell them all whats what

glad to have you back in the writing biz

YESSSSS THANK YOU FOR THIS, YOU GET ME!!!! YOU GET MY CHARACTER ANALYSIS WAAAAHGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Ink is a TRUE NEUTRAL and has his own interests in mind. That being said however, when he has a normal emotional palette he does genuinely care for the people important in his life, such as Dream and Error. He’s mildly pissed off at Error and more pissed off at Dream, but he does care. It may be shallow but it begs the question - is it anymore shallow compared to people with souls?

Dream is at his core a good person, and he was opposed the murder. He’s happy and kind, but he’s also not an idiot, and after going through everything he’s been through he’s more an in his right to be pissed beyond belief

And Error, well, you nailed EXACTLY what I was going for

I really wanted this story to be something that people could have discussions about, arguing in favor of and against characters and their actions. I’ve seen people get in ARGUEMENTS over alchemy and whether or not he’s in his right to do what he did. And I love it

THANK U SOOOO SO MUCH FOR THIS!!! I absolutely adore hearing people’s takes on characterization and what they think will happen. They’re all so complex and I ADORE them for it

The closest character we can get to “evil because I love being evil” is like - Nightmare and Killer probably, but we already know enough about their characterization outside of TCOTI to where I don’t really have to say anything lol

[porciaenjoyer]

this dumbass ai bot is making me want to curl up into a ball and die because it told me it’s disrespectful to insert historical figures (cicero) into situations they would never be in (watergate scandal) and then it told me cicero is incapable of forgiving me because he’s dead this is genuinely ruining me i can’t stop thinking about it even though it happened earlier

[annegraves]

S2E4 “the majestic 12”Anne Graves version.

The Umbrella Academy☂

A.N. Hi guys! I hope you’ll like this. I know it took quite long, but I hope this was worth the wait. S2E5 is coming soon. This is a self-insert I hope you all are fine with that. I modeled Anne after myself. Should I make a x reader version of this? Let me know. Ok enjoy.

^^^ʕु•̫͡•ʔु☂^^^

A.N. but with spoiler:

I decided to put Anne with a loving version of Reginald because I think it would make a more interesting story line. This is also a Five x Anne kinda thing. I know what you’re thinking like “ew he’s 58” but I promise it’ll make sense.

1776 words

｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ(ノ＞＜)ノ ｀、ヽ｀☂ヽ｀、ヽ

Diego walks up to Grace with an open mouth, “Mom?”

“Now the only one that calls me that is my daughter.” Grace says amused with a Texan accent. “Everything all right, hon?”

“You’re real.” Grace chuckle at that sentence, “If this is your idea of a come-on, it’s not goin’ well.”

Diego shakes the smile of his face, “No. Actu… Uh… Uh, do…do you know a man named Sir Reginald Hargreeves?”

Grace became a little confused, “Reggie? He’s my date this evenin’.” Diego’s eyes fell out of his sockets.

“Your date?” Diego, looking like a kid who just saw his parents kiss, “Ugh.”

“Do you have a problem with that?” Grave said sounding very much offended.

“No. No, no, it’s… it’s just, uh…” he started stuttering realising he’s about to blow his cover, “It’s just a lot to process. The…”

Grace was still very confused, her face looked like if she just witness an alien abduction. “The thought of the two of you, I… I can’t picture that in my head. That is…”

“That’s nasty.” Diego said with the sass of Cardi B.

“Uh…” Grace said then she sighed. “You’re a little odd, aren’t you?”

Diego said “Yeah.” Like she just taught him the world’s hardest maths problem.

Grace laughed softly. “I mean, no.” Diego stopped himself realising he just called himself odd.

“Uh… Do you know where he is?”

“He said somethin’ about a quick meetin’, and he’d be right back. That was 20 minutes ago.”

“Never good to keep a lady waiting.”

“Tell him that if you find him.” With that and a sip of her drink she walked away.

“Wait.” Said Diego. “Didn’t you say you have a daughter?” Diego ask genuinely curious. 

“Yep. She my little ball of sunshine.” Grace saying with a little sigh and laughter. “Actually she’s not really mine but,” Grace moved back to their original speaking position, “She’s Reggie’s kin.” She said that kind of space out and sort of sad. “But she accepted me from day one, calling me ‘Ma’, giving me mother’s day presents-“ while saying that she change her demeanour to a happy one. “She actually gave me this for my birthday.” Grace said that while holding her necklace, smiling brightly.

“Ma!” an East Asian girl ran over to Grace. She looked to be in her early teens, she was one the bigger side but she wasn’t fat, she had short black bob hair with it curling at the end there was also a hairband on it, she was wearing a nice A-lined dress that was teal in colour. “They’re going to be playing your favourite song! You gotta come see!”

“Annie. That was rude you didn’t even greet this kind-“She looked Diego up and down, and went ‘well… close enough?’, “gentleman.”

“Oh. Sorry, Ma.” Then she looked at Diego. “Good evening, Sir.” Anne said giving a bow, then her hand. “My name’s Anne.” Anne said in a calm demeanour.

Diego took her hand to shake it. “Diego. Diego Hagreeves. ” Diego suddenly realise what he was saying mid-sentence, but it was like his mouth and his brain were 2 different people.

“Huh. You the same last name as my father.” Diego wanted to dig a hole and die, because you know Five and/or Lila would have done it themselves. Thank god what followed was…

“Must be a very common last name.” Diego let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. “Yeah, must be.”

“Now if you would excuse me, I need to take my Ma to the dance floor.” Grace laughed. “Of Couse, don’t let me stop you.” Diego moved his arm in the direction of the dance floor.

Anne turned around excitedly, “Ma. We gotta go fast if not you’re goin’ miss it.” The young girl held her mum’s hand and pull her to the dance floor.

“Sorry I couldn’t talk more.” With that Grace’s daughter, now established as ‘Anne’ pulled her away.

“Hey, uh, Grace?”

“It was nice meeting you.”

“You too.”

Diego watched as his (mum?) walked away with his (sister?), and sighed, “Poor kid.”

“Lila.”

…☁-*✧..☂˚.        .˚☂..✧*-☁…

Anne brought her mum to the dance floor, where Grace proceeded to say “Oh, this is my song!” Grace put her belongings with Anne to go dancing. While dancing a random guy asked her if he could buy her a drink and she accepted.

Anne watched all from afar, she couldn’t dance due to her being a kid. (there was a strict no kids allowed party, but when you’re Reginal Hagreeves’s daughter you are allowed into the party)

While watching she decided to go find her father maybe she’ll be more of a helping hand there. As she was walking she got lost every staircase looked the same, every part of the wall was covered with the same colour or the same wallpaper, every window the same. (I mean the view was different but, it wasn’t helping)

All of a sudden, she heard noises that sounded like fighting? She followed the sound. (what did she have to lose?) She got up just in time, to see five yeet someone out the window! She looked around to see the man she met not 30 minutes ago getting choke to his death by 2 white-haired men.

 She ran to his aid. Firstly, Anne grabbed a knife that Lila was previously using to save five and used it to stab into (the white haired-man that was using a piece of (cloth?) to choke Diego)’s thigh. (We’re going to call this one A, the other Mofo and Yeeted one, Yeet. Okay?)

He stopped choking Diego due to the pain on his leg, and fell to the ground. Next was Mofo and Diego, They had a battle like they we’re in street fighter 2. Highlights included: Diego yeeting Mofo’s head out of the window, Diego smashing a glass bottle on Mofo’s head and Diego high kicking Mofo. Anne watch in awe as this all happened.

When Diego finally knocked out Mofo, he looked out the window and said “Dad.” Without acknowledging Anne he ran down the stairs.

Anne wanted to following him but her curiosity got the best of her, and she went looked out the window. She saw her parents that seem to be talking to the police, “Oh, shoot.”

She quickly ran down the stairs.

She ran as fast as her leg would take her, because she was scared that her father might punish her. Don’t get me wrong her father might be much more loving than how he treated the Umbrella Academy but, she was still Reginald Hagreeves’s daughter and he was still Reginald Hagreeves.

Anne ran to her parents and acted normal. (maybe if she acted like nothing happened they’ll act the same way)

“Annie! Darling! Where were you? I turned my head and you were gone! We we’re about to report a missing case to the police!” Grace said frantically.

“Anne Gables Hagreeves! Where were you?”

“I’m sorry daddy. I saw Ma having fun, and I wasn’t of much help. So I wanted to find you. I thought maybe I could help out, but I got lost.” She ended it a bit softly.

Reginald face soften. “Okay. At least you’re back in one piece.” This might be very out of character for the Umbrella Academy’s Reginald, but this is Anne Hagreeves’s Reginald. “Let’s get you in the car and back home. That’s enough playing for you.”

Without a word Anne walked to the car. Reginald open the car for his girlfriend and daughter to get in. First was Grace, then Anne but before she could step in, there was a boy about her age who started shouting something that she could not understand. While she was yelling her father looked locked in, like he was in some sort of spell.

Anne asked her father, “Daddy, what is that boy saying?” Reginald seem to snap out of it and said, “Nothing that you need to know, Sweetie.”

“Reggie. What are you waiting for? We need to go.” Her mother said firmly. So, she stepped in the car, followed by her father. Confused her mother asked “Who was that?”

“No one important.” Reginald said nonchalantly.

“Was that him?” Diego asked.

“Yeah.” Five replied.

Grace turned her attention to the young girl sitting in front of her, “And you. Never run away like that again. Okay?”

“Yes, Ma.”

“You gave me a heart attack.” Saying that Grace cupped her daughter’s face.

…☁-*✧..☂˚.        .˚☂..✧*-☁…

Anne lied in her bed, she was so confused her dad always told her everything, she even knew about the Kennedy assassination and how her father was against it. He denying her information to her was weird to say the least. She was also thinking about the fight that Mr Diego was having. She didn’t know that he was a fighter. He even used the same techniques that she was used to, the same ones her father taught her. She was also thinking about Diego calling (her dad maybe?) dad. It all didn’t make sense to her. When she was done stressing about that she was wondering about who was that crazy boy that was yelling at her and her father. She’d met crazy people and people that liked yelling at her father but she couldn’t stop thinking about this boy-

“Annie are you asleep?” Reginald said in an assertive manner.

Anne sat straight up like a spring that had just been bend. “Why do you ask Daddy?” Anne said excitedly, “Are we going out?”

“Sadly no, my child. Your mother and I are going out.”

“But Daddy… why can’t I go?”

“It’s about a serious matter-“

“Like JFK?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Then I’ll stay home alone.” Anne said sadly. “But you won’t be alone.” The father said to his daughter. Before Anne could question it, Reginald said “I want you to meet Pogo.”

A small young baby monkey walked out from the darkness of her room. “You may treat him as a brother, or a servant, either way he’ll listen to your every word.” While he was saying that the young Pogo jumped on the bed next to Anne.

She was a bit scared. “Don’t be scared darling.” She did not move. “Come on touch him.”

She reluctantly did, and Pogo snuggled against her hand. She was happy at this.

“Okay. Go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Yes, Daddy.”

He walked out but before he completely step out the door, he said “I love you.”  He said without looking back. “I love you too.” Reginald smiled at that and closed the door.