#genuinely feel bad about the Irish impersonation

[whetstonefires]

Dia duit! Are you possibly Kieron_ODuibhir?

If so, I absolutely adore your writing. Bualadh bos! Have been globbing my way through your Tim Drake content. If not (and equally if you are not an Irish speaker, then er... Sorry for falling into your ask box like a sparrow turd from the sky!)

It is me! Hi!! 😄💖👍✨ Victory~!

Sadly I am not an Irish speaker, I'm one of those Irish-Americans. My AO3 handle was chosen on the basis of a pun that seemed very clever at the time, more fool me.

If English wasn’t my first and primary language everyone would know about it because I would not shut up, I would constantly be going like ‘this only sounds right in these specific words’ and switching. I have accidentally impersonated a German and a Spanish speaker online before by doing this without the excuse of a mothertongue lmao. I don’t even speak German.

Anyway don’t apologize! This is the internet, anyway; if you’d sent the whole thing in Irish I could probably get the gist via google translate. Though I completely understand not wanting to do that since it kind of significantly decreases your control over the act of communication. 😂 Who would want google deciding what they meant.

Glad you like the Tim content! Thank you, thank you. :DD💗 Man that kid was weirdly hard to write for, considering how relatively straightforward and relatable his actual design is. Mostly because of the period--his canonical character was in even more of a state of flux than he is today, so it was always like, which wild fanon exaggeration of his behaviors will we be playing into at this moment. Eventually the rate of bashing in the fandom made it no fun to work with him, it was driving me toward a harmful defensive headspace. I do love him tho.

I wish I’d managed to finish more things for him, I had so many drafts. I’m hoping if I mostly-ignore both canon and fandom drama for long enough I can come back and write more batfam stuff. ✌

Question: I actually really like the imagery of you globbing your way through my fic, but was it supposed to be gobbling? 🦃

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2010s: 245 - 241

245. Amaury Vassili - “Sognu” France 2011

Ah, the elusive ~actual opera~ entry (not to be confused with it’s cousin, Pop/Opera). You may not know this about me but I’m actually a frequent patron of the Flemish Opera and have a pretty good understanding of how opera should be brought live and ... “Sognu” is not it lmfao. 

You see, the main reason why opera can be amazing live is because it’s a very BOMBASTIC, over-the-top spectacle. If done right, it’s Cirque du Soleil with words. “Sognu”, which in itself is a VERY average composition, offers the visual of stuffing George Of The Jungle in a LesMis costume and calling it a day. 

Don’t let those date rape bugs bite, mr Vassily...x

However, I do enjoy Amaury’s arc in that *everyone* apparently thought he was winning? Which is just baffling (I didn’t follow the 2011 preshow but I instantly knew Azer would win once I heard "Running scared” in the first Semifinal lol.), but hey, I always support my lovely underdogs and conversely when a contenderbeast falls flat on their face at the last second, I’m all in for it. And now it’s time to close this entry, which I’ll do with this A+ piece of Graham Norton commentary:

“Awwww something to cheer him up right at the en- it hasn’t really cheered him up, hasn’t it?” 🤔😬😶

________________________________________________________________

244. Aurela Gaçe - “Feel the passion” Albania 2011

BLEDAR SEJKO <3333333456789 Oh wait, it’s the OTHER entry that features him, in a mute role NEVERMIND.🤭

Obviously, I have some ~fondness~ for "Feel the passion” but it’s mostly academic: I like the Albanian Screechy Harpy and Aurela Gaçe is a decent interpretation of the archetype (she’s without question the NOISIEST of the lot, if not the screamiest). I like how “Feel the passion” also showcases the typical Albanian sound, tiptoeing well between quirkiness, moodiness and datedness. There’s even an eagle backdrop! 

Overall, “Feel the passion” showcases “Albania in Eurovision” pretty well. Too bad it’s not very good though, WHOOPS. ________________________________________________________________

243. Niamh Kavanagh - “It’s for you” Ireland 2010

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. 

I want to BELIAMH IN NIAMH as much as any self-respecting insane eurofag, but bringing back a great winner to give her THIS song, no, it’s not to my tastes at all. 😠

However, I kind of appreciate it on an academic level? As much as “Feel the passion” is a showcase of Albania, so much is “It’s for you” one of Ireland: Talented vocalists, a pleasant/inoffensive sound, a faint charity angle. Oh, and all in the package of a really boring song/non-act. 🤭 Yup. Sounds very Irish to me. 🤭 ☘ 

And now Mum is Dad, you’re gorgeous too, come and soar, I owe you.

________________________________________________________________

242. Nadine Beiler - “The secret is love” Austria 2011

If “What if Whitney Houston were white 🌚” were ever a question anyone would want to be asking, well, Nadine provides the answer anyway! She’s perfectly servicable! She sings well and doesn’t drag out her song needlessly. Not bad for an tribute act. 🙃

________________________________________________________________

241. Sergey Lazarev - “You are the only one” Russia 2016

That’s right, I don’t even like original Sergey entry. Are you in tears? Well, too bad for you, I’m not changing my mind. 😊 RIP at least 74% of my follower count as a result of this update~

I’m kind of struggling how to even tackle this write-up? Humorous? In-your-face? Sassy? Smug? I suppose I’ll keep it honest and academic, because “You are the only one” is fairly good on the surface, but nevertheless, it has... problems.

“You are the only one” is, in my opinion, the most overrated entry in this entire decade. You see, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. It’s very competent. 

However, I... don’t care about competence? I care about real humans that do *really human* things, by which I mean the Tamaras, the Elenii, the Månses, the Polinae: Talented actors who are able to sell their great songs through the sheer force of ~*P E R S O N A L I T Y*~ instead of pure technical singing ability.  

“You are the only one” couldn’t be further away from that ideal for me. It misses something I hold very dear and that thing is authenticity. It lacks quirkiness. It is too perfect and that I find very unsettling. Russia’s entries lack that genuine disarming charm that many winners have and that is why they fail so badly at winning Eurovision, despite always being well-liked. 

(ofc Russia being political assholes and shamless hypocrites and colluding blowhard bullies also factors into that, but I believe Eurovision is mostly apolitical in its decision making. If Eurovision were a political game, I’d imagine Russia would do significantly worse, in every year) Besides this, I think the staging is... really not that great either, WHOOPS. The act itself is a spectacle, but (1) it’s very clearly trying to impersonate “Heroes” and fuck that lack of creative direction (2) “You are the only one” is actually a well-composed song. It’s a clear hit. It sells itself. Especially when in the hands of Sergey Lazarev. 

However, because the act pulls *VERY* hard into these tryhard visual effects it doesn’t need, the song becomes background noise facilitating the act, instead of the other way around and this I think is a really bad take on staging. Songs, not staging, are what wins Eurovision, but only if they’re good. Staging, not songs, is what can cause losses, but only if it’s bad. I don’t believe ‘Staging’ and ‘Song’ should compete with each other for attention, no matter how effective that strategy is as drawing in an audience. They should compliment each other and if a song is great, the staging should be simple.

So yeah overall, I am ranking Sergey right *here*, in the anonymous spot of 241st, with zero regrets. I have no emotions about him whatsoever beyond the academic “he is competent”; Russia tried way too hard to win and the overal result kind of sucks. And you know what else sucks? THUNDER AND LIGHTNING IT’S VERY EXCITING. 😈 Yes! That’s right. I dont even like that STUPID CATCHPHRASE!! HA! HAHA! HAHAHA! HAHAAHHAA! HHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHHAAAA!!!

[tealcheese]

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be a band on tour? RJ Reynolds of Stolas gives us his experience and perspective; an honest and personal look at life on the road. In case you missed it, here’s Chapter 1. Here’s the next installment of his tour diary:

  Chapter 2: Release Navidad

Picking up where we left off, our crew piled into the van in preparation for an overnight drive to Houston, TX. Sergio and Rex have SO’s living in Houston and San Antonio, respectively, so we decided to do the whole thing in a stretch. Additionally, Henry from Mylets (and by “from,” I mean I just refer to him as Henry Mylets cause he’s a one-man loop monster) has a lady in El Paso, so we added that stop to the list and set off.

Booking agents like to parse out long drives with a day off, but sometimes, the trips are so long that there is invariably a whole day spent in the van. On those days, the claustrophobia really sets in for everyone. You want to spread out and relax in solitary but it feels like you’ve crammed your entire extended family onto a van seat for Thanksgiving, replete with all of the off color jokes and bad breath that carries them. You begrudge everyone any bit of personal space you must inevitably concede. You’d just as soon bite someone’s hand than pass them the aux cable, and then one of you tells a great joke and the mood soars like Grandpa Joe on Fizzy Lifting Dri

nk. On top of managing all the other resources on tour like money and gas, morale must be watched closely lest it waver.

After the prerequisite stops, we pulled into my grandparents’ house at 3AM, quietly filing in and getting some much needed rest. My grandparents have supported my touring endeavors for nearly four years now, and I am so grateful this part of my life brings me much closer to my family on a regular(ish) basis. I don’t think it’s any secret that most touring musicians I know wouldn’t be doing any of this if not for the support of our families and loved ones.

And as fate would have it, the next morning my family got a lot bigger when I proposed to my girlfriend over FaceTime. I know you’re really excited about the gooey details of that last sentence, and I won’t deny you: FaceTime is a wonderful service available on Apple products that allows video calling via WiFi or mobile data. It’s so versatile and useful to both brick-and-mortar businesses and workers on the go. Like this one time, I used it to ask my girlfriend to marry me.

I was riding that high when we rolled into the Houston show that evening. Texas proper is one of our favorite places to play. The fans are endlessly supportive and exponentially multiply the energy we give them, so my romantic elation only amplified what was already a killer show. All of our unwavering love to Walter’s, Manny, Vox Vocis, and everybody who got down with us that night.

We made into San Antonio the following afternoon after the expected traffic (where Icarus ran afoul of those meddlesome highway shoulders), loading in and meeting with our first ever touring live engineer, Andrew Demer…Demecur…DeMysterio. Andrew Rey Mysterio? Andy reached out to us about doing FOH for us, and I’m so glad we went with him. He brings a great attitude to every show, and he genuinely loves what he does. At the time of this writing, every in-house engineer he’s met on this tour has really appreciated and benefited from his experience.

Just the same as Houston, San Antonio throws down hard. Something I’ve always enjoyed about playing in Stolas is how we make little changes in a piece to make it more impactful onstage, like adding a slow build in “Year of the Light” or punching up the dynamic shifts at the end of “Allokinetic.” It makes it all the more worthwhile when we play a crowd as intimate with our music as San Antonio and they can dig on every variation. It was the perfect place to release our album.

After a day off spent with mimosas, Irish Creme cinnamon rolls, and a margarita lunch, we started yet another long drive day toward Florida for a couple of shows. This particular drive is one with which we were well acquainted, the route sparsely populated with any big cities along that way to break up the drive. We’ve spent these drives stopping for any oddity fare along the way, shooting off fireworks on a beach, and crashing a cover band set (much to their enjoyment and surprise). I think that’s when being a low-budget touring band really shines for me: taking any otherwise daunting experience and making it unforgettably positive, where all of the dross and grit fall from memory.

Fortunately, we hit Orlando during a freak bout of decent weather that didn’t drown residents in boiling sweat. We got an oil change (always keep up with van maintenance, ya dingus), parked downtown, and spent the early part of the day in various parts of the city. There were swan rides in the lake. There were free coffees. There were bike rides round the city. And, of course, there was yet another killer Orlando show. Shout out to Callie for following my dog on Instagram.

Alex Budnick of Hindrance Supply Co. kindly opened his home to us for the next two nights while we played a show just outside Ft. Lauderdale at surprisingly well-attended sports bar. The following morning, most of us went to the beach while Rex, Nathan, and I hung back to get some work done (for example, this very tour diary). As fun as tour is, it’s oddly cathartic to have that odd day here and there where you brew some coffee, have vita bowl of oatmeal, and get cracking on something with a fast-approaching deadline. Then, you pack up your laptop, pile in the van, and haul ass to the next city amid inside jokes and quick gulps of Vitamin C.

Which, in this case, was Atlanta.

Findings:

Eloping is the perfect example of how the simplest option is rarely simple.

Tim plans to teach the entire tour package to juggle before Anaheim.

If a restaurant patron turns down a blood mary, you cannot offer to purchase it.

Restaurants are fucking wasteful, no-good spoil sports.

Nathan does a killer Coach McGurk impersonation. And Andre the Giant. And Zoidberg. And a didgeridoo.

– Written by RJ Reynolds – All photos by @brownmetal

Stay tuned for more from RJ about life on the road.

Listen to Stolas’ new self-titled album below:

https://open.spotify.com/album/1ZjOAjlp3so6ze3YhqVUt0

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Catch Stolas on tour right now. Get your tickets here!

3/23 Atlanta, GA @ Masquerade 3/24 Nashville, TN @ Rocketown 3/26 Grand Prairie, TX @ So What?! Music Festival 3/27 Oklahoma City, OK @ 89th St. Collective 3/28 St. Louis, MO @ Fubar Lounge 3/29 Indianapolis, IN @ Emerson Theatre 3/30 Pittsburgh, PA @ The Smiling Moose 3/31 Rochester, NY @ Montage Music Hall 4/1 New York City, NY @ Studio at Webster Hall 4/2 Cambridge, MA @ The Middle East 4/4 Philadelphia, PA @ The Voltage Lounge 4/5 Baltimore, MD @ Ottobar 4/6 Columbus, OH @ Woodlands Tavern 4/7 Detroit, MI @ The Ritz 4/8 Chicago, IL @ Subt Downstairs 4/10 Denver, CO @ Marquis Theatre 4/11 Colorado Springs, CO @ The Black Sheep 4/12 Salt Lake City, UT @ The Loading Dock 4/14 Seattle, WA @ El Corazon 4/15 Portland, OR @ Analog 4/17 Santa Cruz, CA @ The Catalyst 4/18 Anaheim, CA @ Chain Reaction

On the Road with RJ Reynolds (Stolas)- Chapter 2 Have you ever wondered what it's like to be a band on tour? RJ Reynolds of…

[zacharywilliams13]

Get to know me uncomfortably well

1. What is you middle name? Daniel Fitch (I go by Daniel) 2. How old are you? 21 3. What is your birthday? 12/30/1995 4. What is your zodiac sign? Capricorn! 5. What is your favorite color? Blue and White 6. What’s your lucky number? 13 and 77 7. Do you have any pets? Duke (my German shepherd), max my fat cat 8. Where are you from? Arizona, Sandiego, Seattle 9. How tall are you? 6'3" 10. What shoe size are you? 13.5 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 30+ way to many lol 12. What was your last dream about? Probably about traveling or about someone in specific 13. What talents do you have? I can burp my ABC’s… jk Artist, Snowboard, Mixologist, And History Buff? 14. Are you psychic in any way? I can see You will eat food today….. 15. Favorite song? That’s like asking who’s your favorite child!? Um either Toes, or Simple Man 16. Favorite movie? Just as bad as the last Q… Deadpool and Grinch 17. Who would be your ideal partner? Someone who genuinely cares about me and share the same passion I would towards them, someone who would be a great mother and most importantly someone who would travel and live life with me enjoying every day together :) 18. Do you want children? 17… for my 5 mini vans…. No lol I would like a couple :) 19. Do you want a church wedding? Eh no top priority. Woods is ideal :) 20. Are you religious? God are you there!? Jk yes I am 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? More than I can count! 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Hahaha I should be in jail a few times…. 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Quite a lot actually favorites so far are Gonzo, and 50 cent 24. Baths or showers? Showers 25. What color socks are you wearing? Blue and tan 26. Have you ever been famous? Hahaha naw 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Eh no. Maybe for travel, or as like a career as a doctor or something 28. What type of music do you like? Rock mainly but everything!! 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Pretty much once a month lol 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 5, its heaven 31. What position do you usually sleep in? Whatever feels comfy lol 32. How big is your house? For my age, pretty big 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? English Breakfast or somewhat near it 34. Have you ever fired a gun? I own 20 35. Have you ever tried archery? Yup! 36. Favorite clean word? Thank you 37. Favorite swear word? Shit Fuck 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? Last Black Friday I worked, 40 hours no sleep 39. Do you have any scars? Everywhere 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Oh yes! Matter of fact I wish I knew earlier and I would have been a who different thing 41. Are you a good liar? I would say 42. Are you a good judge of character? I think so? I try not to judge anyone 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? HELL YES I CAN!!! I can almost impersonate them all 44. Do you have a strong accent? Irish when I want 45. What is your favorite accent? Irish or Scottish 46. What is your personality type? All over 😂 no gentleman with humor 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? My Diving watch from Invicta ($900) 48. Can you curl your tongue? In 4 ways ;) 49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie 50. Left or right handed? Lefty but I can be ambidextrous 51. Are you scared of spiders? Fuck yes I am!!! 52. Favorite food? Tacos for sure! 53. Favorite foreign food? Escargot 54. Are you a clean or messy person? In the middle I would say. I can be dirty but I like it clean 55. Most used phrased? Alrighty then 56. Most used word? Um 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Depends, I could be ready in 5 minutes or 5 hours 58. Do you have much of an ego? Probably but I don’t think so 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? I suck hard…. 60. Do you talk to yourself? Yup I have 4 voices in my head 61. Do you sing to yourself? You would be lying if you said no 62. Are you a good singer? Hahahahahhhahhahahahaha 63. Biggest Fear? Being Alone or Forgotten (Daddy issues…jk) 64. Are you a gossip? Yeah but nothing mean or hurtful 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? The Vow… like shit I was crying 66. Do you like long or short hair? Long but I’ll never be able to pull it off and on girls, long 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? I could sing it if you ask nicely ;) 68. Favorite school subject? History 🔥 69. Extrovert or Introvert? If by now you can’t tell, Extrovert to the max with a weird introvert side 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? I am certified 71. What makes you nervous? People making statements without knowledge 72. Are you scared of the dark? Eh use to 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Only on facts or history 74. Are you ticklish? Go Away… I’ll eat you 75. Have you ever started a rumor? Yup! But not in a few years 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Manager, Class president, Captain, about to join Navy as an Officer… Eh maybe 77. Have you ever drank underage? I did some Bar tending under age lol What do you think? 78. Have you ever done drugs? Is sugar a drug? 79. Who was your first real crush? Her name was Perri and Currently I have two 3 ongoing ones, one from My Freshman year around 4th of July, the other was someone close to me my Junior year, and third started this past year more recent. 80. How many piercings do you have? I have none 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ The Hispanic culture would be proud 🔥 82. How fast can you type? Ummm Average I would say 83. How fast can you run? Faster than you would think lol 84. What color is your hair? Brown and my beard is red :) 85. What color is your eyes? Brown! 86. What are you allergic to? Your BS….Nothing 87. Do you keep a journal? Yes but not like you think 88. What do your parents do? They Parent me… And work for a bank 89. Do you like your age? Yes 👌🥃 90. What makes you angry? Ignorant people 91. Do you like your own name? Eh it’s ight 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Yup Boy:Austin James Alexander Williams (Ajax for short) Girl: Elizabeth Marie Williams 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? Both :) 94. What are you strengths? My Kindness and compassion 95. What are your weaknesses? Idk probably a few 96. How did you get your name? My mom named me… 97. Were your ancestors royalty? Yes, Welsh and Scottish Royalty :) 98. Do you have any scars? A ton! 99. Color of your bedspread? Black, tan, and Brown 100. Color of your room? Black, Brown, White