#genuine legend. not sure I’d be alive today if I didn’t have her as an example for what raw immutable strength looks like

[ari-kari]

Not entirely sure what the ethics are on posting pictures of someone who’s passed away without their ‘consent’. But we found some old pictures of my grandma today with her stuff, and I’d like to think she would appreciate me rizzing her up to my small community of followers. (Or perhaps that’s just me trying to justify my actions 😂. oh well. I’ll choose to believe it regardless.)

Anyways, here’s my lil grandma. She passed in 2019 after a decades-long battle with multiple myeloma, but she was the light of all our lives and always will be. Frankly, there’s no way I will ever slay this hard at my own wedding. But I am content with that 😊 at least we’ve got good genes.

[storiesforallfandoms]

picnic ~ harry styles au

part one   part two

word count: 1679

request?: no

description: after showing her the town of eroda, harry decides to take his mermaid friend to see his favourite spot to be alone

pairing: harry styles x mermaid!female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist

series masterlist

After showing (Y/N) around Eroda, Harry led her up to his favourite peak that looked out over the beach. Harry watched as she excitedly raced up to the near edge to look down over it.

“It’s beautiful,” she called to Harry.

“It is,” Harry laughed. “Come in before you fall over!”

The two sat on the bench in the overgrown grass. Harry placed his backpack on his lap and started to pull food from it.

“What do mermaids eat when they’re swimming?” Harry asked.

“We usually don’t have to eat,” she said between bites of sandwich. “We don’t really get hungry while swimming. It’s usually only when in human form.”

“I have so many questions,” Harry said. “But I really don't want to bombard you or bug you. I’m sure you get questioned every time someone new meets you.”

(Y/N) shrugged. “I understand being shocked. Mermaids have been fairytales and legends for hundreds of years, no one believes they’re real until they see it firsthand.”

So many questions were swirling in Harry’s head. There was so much he wanted to know, about mermaids and about (Y/N) in general.

He watched her take another bite of her sandwich. The wind blew her hair from her shoulders as she looked at the view ahead of her. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She was absolutely gorgeous. He wondered if that was a mermaid thing, or if she was just naturally gorgeous.

“Where do the mermaid legends come from then, if they’re actually real?” he asked.

(Y/N) smiled. A question she had heard countless times before. “Obviously you know of the tales of sirens, right?” Harry nodded. “Sirens are what mermaids started as. There’s no definite reason, both in your world and in the mermaid world, but the hundreds of years ago pirates would sail into the waters where the mermaids lived, which angered the mermaids. They’d come to the surface and sing to lure the pirates to their deaths. One man, it’s unclear if it was an actual pirate of one of their hostages, faked his death to escape them and return to his home to warn everyone. They all thought he was crazy, so no one believed him, but his story travelled through town and ended up becoming a folktale for years to come. Anyone who could ever confirm that it was real were killed by mermaids.

“That’s dark,” Harry breathed.

“It’s the truth, “(Y/N) shrugged. “It took some time and a lot of fighting but some time later be became much more friendly and less violent. We decided to stay hidden as not to frighten humans, because we thought that we had been branded evil killers. We had no idea that humans had turned us into lovely creatures, into princesses for the amusement of their children. We were, and still are, honored that the evil that we were once connected to is no longer attached to the name of the mermaid.”

Harry nodded, allowing (Y/N)’s story to digest. He stopped as realization crossed his mind, “So wait...is Ariel real too?”

(Y/N) giggled. “No, Ariel is just a story. We don't have a monarchy like that in the mermaid world. We all just sort of...exist as we wish to. Obviously, if any of us are still violent like our ancestors we denounce them, but that’s really it.”

Harry hadn’t noticed that (Y/N) had finished her sandwich until she was reaching for his bag again. She dug through his bag until she pulled out a plastic bag of cookies and her eyes lit up excitedly. Harry figured he wouldn’t be getting any of those today.

“What about families?” he asked. “Do mermaids have families? Do they worry about you when you’re gone for long periods of time?”

(Y/N) paused with a cookie raised to her mouth. She lowered it slowly, unable to meet Harry’s eye. “We have families, yes. We fall in love and we procreate more mermaids but...no, they...they don’t worry about us. When a young mermaid is old enough to explore on his or her own, they separate from their family and they go off by themselves. They cross paths every now and then and have a short reunion, but it’s not the same as what humans do.”

Harry looked at her in shock. “They just...let their kids go? Not knowing if they’ll ever see them again?”

She nodded, looking down at her lap. “It’s hard to stay together when the nature of mermaids is to want to swim to explore the world. And it’s hard to meet back at a specific location when mermaids are able to swim so far in just a short amount of time, and often lose track of where they are and where they’d been. It was decided, some time ago when I was just a baby, that instead of trying to restrain the youth and to not allow them to explore, that parents would allow their children to be on their own once they’re old enough. Again, there’s nothing to enforce that, if a parent wants to keep their child from leaving they’re free to, but they also must give their child the option once their old enough.”

“Did you choose to leave?”

She shook her head. “No. It was an accident, I was much younger than the average mermaid who goes off on their own. My family and I were swimming and I was caught in a strong current. By the time my parents noticed I was being whisked away and tried to save me, the current had gained too much speed and I was pulled away. I tried looking for them, but it was no use. That was when I started exploring on land, it felt safer than being in the sea all by myself as such a young age sometimes. I fell in love with the human life, so I tend to visit places on land from time to time, just because.”

Harry wrapped his arms around (Y/N) without thinking, pulling her to him. The action took (Y/N) by surprise, but she soon melted into Harry’s arms, resting her head on his chest and taking in his scent. Wow, he smells really good.

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” he said. “That’s...that’s really terrible. My parents left my choice, they never cared for me or for my problem, but yours lost their daughter unwillingly...that’s terrible.”

“It is,” (Y/N) agreed, biting back the tears she was feeling form in her eyes. “I’m hoping they’re still alive so I can find them again some day, and I can be with them again. But for now, I’ve started to enjoy my life alone. Swimming from place to place, meeting new people, seeing how the world changes while I’m under the water. It’s a fascinating life, I will admit.”

Harry pulled away to look at her. (Y/N) noticed how green his eyes were. Greener than the grass surrounding them, although the grass didn’t exactly seem to be very healthy.

She found herself leaning closer to Harry, still looking into his eyes. Harry raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing?”

“Your eyes,” she responded. “They’re beautiful.”

Harry’s face turned red as he finally broke eye contact to look at the ground. “Oh...well...thank you...so are yours.”

She smiled brightly and sat back on the bench, beginning to eat the cookies yet again.

“Do mermaids still sing?” Harry asked. “Is it still...dangerous to hear a mermaid sing?”

(Y/N) shook her head. “It’ll capture your attention and draw you to them, but it’s not dangerous. It never was, only the mermaids in general were dangerous.”

Harry nodded. He hesitated before asking, “Can you sing...for me? I’d love to hear it.”

(Y/N) munched on her cookie and swallowed before she responded, “Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“Well...okay.”

(Y/N) placed the cookies aside and stood in front of Harry. She looked at the town behind him. It was miles away, and the beach was deserted. There was no way anyone would hear her, she wouldn’t risk drawing attention to them.

She opened her mouth and began to sing an old song of her people. It was one that was once used to lure pirates to their deaths, but when the mermaids decided to turn over a new leaf and to become more peaceful than their ancestors, they took the song back and made it their own. It was their call to one another, a song they sang to help instead of to hurt, or just something they sang to calm themselves during tough times. (Y/N) spent many lonely nights singing to herself, hoping that maybe her parents would hear her and find her.

Harry was captivated from the second she began to sing. He sat forward in his seat, having to stop himself from jumping up right then and there and taking (Y/N) in his arms. He was shocked to find, however, that he knew which parts of his admiration were the siren song and which were his actual feelings. The desire to hold (Y/N), to be as close to her as he could possibly be, he knew that was the siren song, but the genuine feeling of admiration for her was real. He had been feeling it since he first met her.

(Y/N)’s eyes flickered to look behind Harry every so often just to make sure no one else had heard her. When she was sure no one had, and that it was enough of her singing, she stopped. Harry began to clap, smiling his bright smile. (Y/N) giggled and took a bow.

“That was amazing,” he said.

“Thank you,” she said, taking a seat next to Harry.

They ate in silence then, feeling as though there was nothing else to talk about. They just watched as the sun went down, munching on their food in silence and enjoying one another’s company.

Tags: @daylightkissy​ @hufflepuff-always-and-forever​ @arypesanchez​

Let me know if you want to be tagged in future parts!

[oktony]

get to know me on our first date w/ tovie...sort of

What are you the most proud of?

Makin’ somethin’ of myself. I have a job, a business. A living. I mean, I didn’t get an education or anything, and honestly, I was really fuckin’ scared for a long time. But I did somethin’, y’know…If my family ever needed help, I could do somethin’.

What are you the most ashamed of?

I’ve been in the slammer. Twice. For battery. Y’know, just the run-of-the-mill girlfriend cheated on you so you beat the dude halfway to death. Got eleven months for it. Second time ‘round I got thrown in for, uh, gettin’ into another fight. Pulled a knife. Nothin’ serious, it was just a damn scratch. Had to do a year for that.

If you could go back and change one decision in your life, what would it be?

I’m not gonna say the prison shit. I mean, I honestly don’t regret any of it. I did what I needed to do. I had my reasons for doin’ what I did and I ain’t sorry about it. And I’ve always had my reasons for what I do.

What is your biggest dream in life?

Would you believe me if I said I wanna start my own family one day? Men like me shouldn’t, we’re no good for that sorta stuff. But I want to. I wanna teach someone what not to do. I want kids, I wanna take care of someone for the rest of my life. I want a family to take care of for the rest of our lives. I want all of that.

What difference would it make in your life if you felt completely safe, accepted, and loved?

I feel loved. I know my parents love me. And I’m forever grateful, but love isn’t enough. I dunno. I really don’t know, I guess. I don’t think I’d ever be able to feel completely safe or accepted in life. Life don’t work that way. For me at least. Maybe I wouldn’t be half the callous bastard I am now. 

Do you think your parents did a good job raising you while you were growing up? Why or why not?

Oh, man, yeah. I’m just sorry it don’t show as much, but they did a damned good job raisin’ me. My mom is a superhero, she’s done things I didn’t ever think a human had the capability to do. She did—and still does—a lot for me. Too much. My parents were good to me. They were understanding when I wasn’t. They were patient when I wasn’t. They were calm when I wasn’t. No matter what, they supported me and stood by me through all the shit. It wasn’t easy for them, but they did.

What’s one thing that you wish people understood about you? 

Nothin’. There’s not a thing. I don’t give a fuck anymore. I think it’s a waste of time tryin’ to get people to understand you. You either understand or you don’t. Why do I have to make that effort on someone else’s behalf? They all come to either conclusion: you’re good or you’re bad. Fuck that. My depths are infinite and limitless. I have my own world, my own reality, my own laws, my own visions and it’s nobody’s business.

What is your biggest flaw?

My temper. I…I get angry. And I never know when to stop. I don’t know how to stop. I almost don’t want to stop. The anger turns to fire and…I’m on fuckin’ fire. And I’ve burned everything clean.

What event in your life has shaped you most as a person, and how did it do so?

I think the second time I got locked up, I guess. Because there shouldn’t have been a second time. And there sure as hell wasn’t gonna be a third time.

Have you ever treated a person in a way that you regret?

I do, yeah. It won’t do me no good to dwell on it, but yeah, I have. I should have been better, but I wasn’t.

Do you think it’s possible for men and women to be “just friends?”

Yeah, totally. Not everyone is tryna fuck each other. And if you are, you’re a fuckin’ weirdo. Maybe, sometimes, someone’s gotta check themselves or the other, but yeah, why not?

Would you rather be rich and lonely or financially destitute with lots of great family and friends? Why?

There’s no question when it comes to money or family. Money, too, can’t do what family does for you. I don’t give a fuck about no riches. Money hasn’t ever been able to buy me what I want and need in life. I’ve seen what money has done to people…and I thought I was an asshole. I get that it’s important, but so long as I have enough to make ends meet, I’m ok.

Tell me about something you did when you were drunk that you’ve never confessed to anyone.

Fuck, man. You take this to the grave with you, okay? I don’t remember how old I was, I think I was like twenty or somethin’, but I got shitfaced home alone and, uh, tried on a pair of my ma’s heels. For what fuckin’ reason, I couldn’t tell you. I walked around, danced, ended up breakin’ the damn things, tossed ‘em out, and never said a word about ‘em again.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be and why?

I know I should say my temper, but honestly, sometimes it feels good. I feel in control and I feel like it’s the thing to do. It’s like a high almost, if you can believe...I get my way, I get my point across. People listen. Am I wrong for this? I’m not sayin’ I’m perfect...far from, but I don’t wanna change nothin’ about me. I do want superpowers, though. Shapeshiftin’. I wanna shape-shift into a woolly mammoth.

If you knew you would die tomorrow, how would you spend today?

I’d stay here...right here…all night, roll a blunt and listen to all our favorite songs one last time.

Are you truly happy? And why or why not?

I have the life I want, a job I want, a roof over my head, food to put in my mouth three times a day — stability. I should be happy, right?

Have you ever been in love? And how do you know? What was it like for you?

Yeah. I thought I was goin’ fuckin’ crazy. It was torture, but good. I knew because I realized I’d do anything for her. Anything she ever asked of me, I’d do for her no matter what. I’d give her anything I could. I cared about her happiness more than my own.

When you’re home alone, and nobody else is around, how do you like to spend your time?

I’m always home alone. Readin’, listenin’ to loud music, cookin’ and eatin’.

What do you want people to say at your funeral?

Nothin’. Just play Hell Ain’t a Bad Place to Be by AC/DC.

If you could have a conversation with anyone living or dead, who would it be and why?

Lemmy Kilmister. He’s a musician and rocked fuckin’ balls out hard till the very end. I mean, truly the biggest and baddest motherfucker in rock ‘n roll history. A fuckin’ legend.

Do you think you’re a genuinely good person? And why or why not?

I don’t, no. I’m a selfish bastard. I don’t do a lot of good and never for any other reason than my own. I just don’t care. You’re on your own in this world.

How did you choose your current profession?

I started tattooin’ when I was sixteen. The first time I saw a tattoo was when I was about twelve or thirteen. Half sleeve done on a family friend of a dragon. It was black and red and I was fuckin’ blown away, I thought it was the coolest thing ever. And then I thought that I could do somethin’ like that but better. So I went to a studio, told ‘em that I wanted to draw on people too, got signed up for an apprenticeship when I turned sixteen and been doin’ it ever since.

If money were not an issue, how would you spend your time each day?

Still doin’ what I do. I love my work. It keeps me alive, it keeps me sane. If money wasn’t a thing, I’d do what I do for free. Gonna keep workin’ till my hands can’t carry a pen anymore.

Tell me about your political leanings.

I’ll always vote liberal, but these days nobody is on the side of the people. Even when people are on the same side, they’re not. Fuck politics. It’s all hateful shit anyway.

What’s one thing that you do on a regular basis that you hate doing, but nobody knows that you despise doing it?

Calming clients down before I start workin’ on ‘em. I get it’s somethin’ I need to do, but fuck, man, like it’s a fuckin’ tattoo, what’d you expect? You chose to get one and this shit don’t look easy. Get your shit together, I don’t got all day.

[jovialyouthmusic]

The Many Lives of Drake Walker

5 Wedding Guests

In which we gatecrash Drake’s wedding - but which Drake is it?

The next day was a lazy one for me, until later afternoon when I had family over for a meal. I ate and drank too much and didn’t feel like writing, but after my partner went to bed I opened up a file and added a sentence or two before I minimised and saw Drake waiting.

Hey. His expression was soft and he looked more at peace than I had last seen him. How was your day?

‘Nice. I had family over for dinner and now I feel like a beached whale’

I have a good remedy for that – come over and you’ll feel right as rain. Just make sure you’re comfortable first – you don’t want to have to go for a bathroom break in the middle of something’ He waggled his eyebrows.

‘I’m fine, here I come’ I put my hand to the screen and closed my eyes. When I landed on the other side I was sitting on the couch where I had last been. It was day and the fire was just barely warm. I could tell by the light from the window that there was snow on the ground, as was the case most of the year round in Lythikos.

’I won’t offer you anything to eat or drink’ he joked ‘Perhaps today you’d like to be someone else - just a test run, my former companions said it felt odd being another character. As we’re in Lythikos perhaps you could try some winter sports?’

‘I can’t skate or ski to save my life’ I protested

‘That’s the beauty – you can ‘borrow’ Riley’s body and it will all come naturally’

‘Oh!’ I cried ‘I’d so love to be able to skate – it’s so elegant. I daren’t try for real, I’m scared of falling. I’m on medication and I bruise like a peach’

‘I’m sorry to hear that. It will be good practice – next time we can try something more adventurous. Perhaps the work of another writer?’

‘Maybe, I should really dip my toes into the water, as it were’ I mused. ‘So how do I become Riley?’

‘Okay, we need to go back to the waiting area and find a Riley who’s not being used, if that makes sense’ I raised my eyebrows

‘I suppose so – alright, here we go’ I closed my eyes and thought about the place we had first gone to – the white waiting area where the characters waited to be called by the readers and writers. I opened my eyes and we stood there, characters sitting chatting, walking around or simply sitting quietly.

‘Here’ said Drake, and led me to a lone figure. It was recognisably the Riley that I had played so many times, white skinned and dark haired. She appeared to be alive, but looked totally blank. She responded when Drake took her hand and she stood, still looking blank but smiling slightly. He looked at her and caressed her cheek.

‘She was my first’ he said ‘Be gentle with her’. He cleared his throat. ‘Stand behind her – close your eyes and step forward. It will feel odd, but only for a short while.  It’s quite safe I promise, and it’s easy to get out’ I nodded, stood behind the smiling figure and stepped forward with my eyes closed. I gasped or tried to; for a moment I was disembodied, then suddenly full as if putting on a tight fitting body stocking all at once. I gasped for real, and opened my eyes. Drake took my hand and squeezed it tight. I felt full and my body shape was unfamiliar. I also felt rather sick, and my knees buckled. Drake held me up.

‘It’s okay Les, it’s okay’ He reassured me ‘It will feel normal in just a few seconds’ I gagged and grasped at him, the nausea increasing. Then suddenly it all settled and I felt normal. I took a deep breath, so deep it was as if it was my first.

‘Oh God, why would anyone want to do that twice?’ My voice was unfamiliar. ‘How the hell do I get out again?’ Drake held my arm.

‘It’s okay, just stay with it. I promise it will wear off, You just seem to be having an extreme reaction. With practice it will be just like getting dressed, or so the others told me.’

‘Who the hell did it first – how did they find out how?’

‘It’s more common than you’d think – its origins go back to shamanistic rituals. It’s very ancient and before it was like this, people accessed it from spoken stories and legends, and then books. The body you’re moving into is more defined because you can see it on the screen originally’

‘Why don’t we know about it then?’ I asked ‘If it’s so common?’ Drake shrugged.

‘When I say common, maybe I exaggerated. Only a few can do it, but it’s easier now, and the population is larger than ancient times, so the proportion is the same but the number is bigger’ He shook his head ‘That’s as good as I can describe it. How are you feeling now?’

‘Better – and how exactly do I get out again?’

‘Just close your eyes, make an intention to leave and step back’

‘How do you mean, make an intention?’ I asked, puzzled.

‘You have to intend to do it, otherwise you’d drop out every time you closed your eyes’ He smiled ‘Now just walk about, get used to moving, then we can hit the ice – or the slopes.’ I was wobbly to start with, and it took a while to move smoothly, but not too long.

‘What do I look like?’ I asked

‘See for yourself’ He led me over to a mirror and I looked. It was very odd, as my face wasn’t stable, but rippled as if it were under water and changed from my face to Riley’s. It made me feel a little nauseous again and I closed my eyes.

‘When you’ve made your mind up who you are, it will stabilise’ he explained ‘But it’s quite normal to be changeable at first. You can pick any faceclaim you like, or substitute your own, it’s up to you.’

‘I'll use Riley’s so that I don’t confuse folk, and I have an idea as to where I’d like to go. I think I need more time to acclimatise before I do anything as major as skating or skiing.’

‘Okay’ Drake smiled ‘Where did you have in mind?’

‘Well’ I cleared my throat ‘It is somewhat different’ He cocked an eyebrow at me

‘I’m listening’

‘Well – I’m not sure how it would work for you – whether you personally would feel comfortable, or whether I go alone, or you hide your identity…’ He still looked apprehensive, so I went on.

‘It’s the one Olivia was talking about – the three hander with her, you and Liam – a ‘Driam’ plus Olivia’ Drake closed his eyes

‘I’m tuning in – some other Drake has played out a new chapter and it’s feeding through’ he said. He squeezed his eyes shut. I waited with bated breath as he took it all in. ‘Right’ he said ‘There are a group of Drakes that play in the Driam fics, and I’m not one of them. I have played in scenes with other versions of me, and when they are as different as this, It’s fine for me to go along. The reader won’t see me, and the characters present will accept me as I am as long as my faceclaim isn’t the same.’  I wrinkled my forehead (or was it Riley’s?) as I tried to remember.

‘I don’t think that writer has one’ I said ‘So maybe you could go as Daniel di Tomasso, as the default will most likely be how you look right now?’ Drake grinned and his face changed - it was freaky but the result was very satisfying - my knees went just a little weak and my heart fluttered.

‘Whatever you like, Les’ he replied ‘Riley has a part in it helping Drake get ready for his wedding, so you can play if you like. It will lead in to a new chapter’

‘Okay – are you ready?’ I asked ‘You had better lead as I don’t quite know how to do it just yet’

‘Oh you need me to tune in’ he said. ‘Take my hand and close your eyes’ I did so, and when I opened them we were standing in a group of people all standing around waiting. Liam and Drake entered, and simply walked through, smiling and greeting people before going through a door which closed behind them. Maxwell was first to approach us

‘Hey Les! Walker, my man – come to watch your own wedding?’ He asked. ‘Drake doesn’t know, but Liam’s about to propose, and I’m going to be the one to marry them.’ He grinned ‘It was Olivia’s idea – a small private ceremony with all their closest friends before the official wedding between Olivia and Liam.’

‘Oh, that’s so sweet’ I smiled ‘I’ve really enjoyed reading this one, and that is such a nice touch’ ‘My Drake smiled too.

‘Well this version of me is totally straight, but I couldn’t be happier that I’ll be happy with Liam – if that makes sense. For me it’s Bromance not romance with my pal’ he said drily. The door opened, and Liam appeared, beaming with happiness

‘He said Yes!’ he grinned, and the room erupted into action making preparations. Olivia sidled up to me

‘I know it’s you Les – as you’re playing Riley, you get to help Drake smarten up a bit – you need to take him into the bathroom and make him into a respectable groom. You’ll do a great job’ I felt Riley taking over and walking to the bathroom but once the door was closed, as it hadn’t been written, I was free to do what I wanted.

‘Hey Les’ he said, and I looked at him quizzically. He put his hand on my arm. ’I’m linked to ‘your’ Drake so I know it’s you driving Riley. Thanks for dropping by’

‘It’s a little odd’ I replied ‘But I guess you are pretty happy right now’ He nodded ‘And I’m to spruce you up – so let’s get your hair in order – and I appear to have a buttonhole for you’ It wasn’t long before I’d done my job. He looked nervous, and I patted his arm.

‘Thanks Les – I am happy. Let’s do this!’ We walked out together to cheers and congratulations and slaps on the back. I stepped aside as he took his nephew Bartie in his arms for the ceremony, holding back tears at how beautiful it all was. That ceremony was followed by the ‘proper’ or official wedding at the cathedral, and as I paraded around as Riley I kept seeing ‘my’ Drake lurking on the edges of the scenes. I genuinely missed him as the ‘resident’ Drake was quite different, somehow softer - but then, he was the groom. However, at the reception it seemed more relaxed, and both versions of my companion moved about freely in the happy throng. The named characters knew what was going on and didn’t seem phased at all.

The reception was great fun, as I got to dance with both Drakes simultaneously. ‘My’ Drake whirled me around the dancefloor with his newly acquired dance skills, and I noted when I danced with only Liam’s Drake, the token that I wore – or rather, that Riley wore felt hot and heavy, as he had said it would. Something felt different that I couldn’t quite put my finger on – we were playing a fresh chapter that I hadn’t read.

All became clear when Hana approached me, and pulled me into a close embrace to dance. Although I wasn’t personally attracted to women, Riley’s body definitely responded to her, and I felt just a little uneasy at the unfamiliar sensation. Hana obviously noticed, as she drew back and blushed.

‘Oh, I’m so sorry, I forgot you’re not my Riley’ she said ‘Did I make you feel uncomfortable?’ I smiled back

‘Just a little, but it’s just unfamiliar – not something I’m used to feeling for women. But it’s cool Hana, don’t be embarrassed.’

‘Oh but I am’ she insisted ‘I’ll let you get back to Drake.’

‘It’s probably time for me to leave anyway’ I said. ‘I’m sure you’ll get someone sympathetic next time round.’ I looked around for my Drake, and tugged at his arm.

‘Time to go’ He smiled, and pulled me into a close embrace, kissing me on the lips. He drew back when Riley didn’t respond.

‘Hey, what’s the matter Les? You’re usually more into kissing than this’

‘Umm – this Riley’s attracted to Hana’ I said ruefully. ‘If you want a better response I’ll have to ditch her’ Drake put his hand to his face.

‘Oh god, I’d forgotten that. I’m so sorry I didn’t warn you. I thought I was losing my touch’ He wiggled his eyebrows and smirked – a facial expression of faceclaim Daniel’s that I found knee wobblingly attractive – but Riley did not respond.

‘It’s fine, don’t worry about it, I’m not scarred or anything.’ I said. He rubbed the back of his neck.

‘Okay, we’d better go back to the waiting area, best not to leave her driverless in a scene, it’s a bit freaky. It’s nearly over anyway, they’ll carry on partying without us.’ I closed my eyes and we returned to the waiting area.

‘Are you sure you don’t want to go back to Lythikos to partake in some winter sports?’

‘No, not until I get a little more accustomed to ‘wearing’ Riley I said. ‘How about we visit that beach from the very first chapter – the secret place that I pick instead of the nightclub? It’s the first place I chose, and I loved that scene – but just you and me’ Drake smiled

‘Deal, if we can take a hip flask with us’

‘Okay, time to say bye bye to Riley – shall I back her up by this chair?’

‘Sure, but leave yourself enough room – remember, close your eyes, make an intention to get out, and just step back’ I nodded – or rather, Riley did, and closed my/her-eyes and stepped back. I gasped, feeling the air squeezed out of my/her lungs for a moment, and Riley was in front of me, sagging slightly. Drake helped her into a chair, and she sat vacantly smiling. I shivered.

I think it will take me a few tries to get used to that’ I said. Now, are you ready for the beach at midnight?’

‘You bet’ he grinned. I closed my eyes and quite literally in the blink of an eye we were on the beach, the moon shining, stars out. There was a pile of driftwood ready to build a fire, and Drake tutted.

‘Hey don’t make things easy for me – I go all caveman when I build a fire. It hurts my masculine dignity if you do the work’ he winked.

‘Well forgive me, Mr Macho. I did not imagine it like this, someone must have been here recently.’ He grunted.

‘Huh. Well okay, I think I need to scout around for more wood, so hold the fort’ I sat on a log by the charred remains of the last fire, and wondered how many people had visited it since I had last been there, albeit on the other side of the screen or in my imagination. After a while, Drake reappeared with an armful of wood.

‘I think my masculine pride is satisfied’ he said, and ratched around in his pockets, finding a packet of matches that I’d secreted there, and I produced some newspaper to get things going. It wasn’t long before we were sitting by a crackling fire. He punched me in the shoulder as he passed the hip flask.

‘Hey, what was that for?’ I protested

‘For putting matches in my pocket. I told you, I like to do stuff for myself’

‘Okay then what were you going to do – rub two pieces of wood together?’ I asked. He pursed his lips and inclined his head to the side.

‘Good point. But if I hadn’t punched you, I wouldn’t get to kiss it better’

‘You want to kiss my shoulder? Well aren’t you the last of the red hot lovers?’ I scoffed.

‘Well my aim might be really, really bad’ he grinned and leaned over to press his lips to mine, his hand going to the back of my neck, fingers snaking up into my hair. I leaned into him and our lips joined and moved together, opening for the dance of our tongues. I shifted to angle my body toward his, feeling an ache deep in my belly and a tingle between my thighs. He pulled away, looking a little guilty.

‘I’m sorry Les, I can’t resist, it’s the way I’m made. Tell me to stop, I don’t seem to have any control’

‘Sure you do’ I said ‘But I didn't say I wanted you to.’

‘Are you sure?’ he asked ‘I don’t want to mess things up for you in your world’ I sat back away from him.

‘Okay, is there something you’re not telling me? If you’re designed to find me attractive, what’s stopping you? Did something happen with one of the previous companions?’ He grinned ruefully

‘You’re very insightful’ he said ‘Yes, it did.’

‘It seems to me that we need to be honest with each other’ I said, leaning toward the fire. I’ll tell you where I stand if you share your situation.’ He sighed and moved away from me.

‘Okay, I’ll tell you about my last companion’ he said, gazing into the flames.

Part two will be posted in 24 hours - stay tuned!

Thanks to @sirbeepsalot for allowing me to play a little with her Drake/Liam/Olivia poly pairing - go take a look at her work here

 @ao719 @agent-bossypants @andy-loves-corgis @sleepwalkingelite @boneandfur @blackcatkita @brightpinkpeppercorn @choicescommunity@darley1101 @drakewalkerrosenberg @debramcg1106 @fluffy-marshmallow-heart @goirishsunshine @gardeningourmet @livingthroughchoices @likethetailofacomet @mrs-nazario @mind-reader1 @ooo-barff-ooo @silviasutton1989 @speedyoperarascalparty @zaffrenotes @missevabean @mrsdrakewalkerblog @cora-nova @missameliep @tanelle83 @endlessly-searching-for-you @jlouise88 @drakenazario @tabithacarlisle @furiousherringoperatortoad @notoriouscs @classylady1234 @wickedgypsymoon @carabeth @choices-fangirl @indiana-jr @indiacater @noey718-blog @katedrakeohd @bobasheebaby @annekebbphotography @kennaxval @sirbeepsalot @drakeandcamilleofvaltoria @aworldoffandoms @iplaydrake @drakesensworld @drakewalkerisreal @samcpossum @melodyofgraves

[theliterateape]

From the Archives: Unpacking Branson: A Thanksgiving Improbability

By Don Hall

For Thanksgiving in 2012, I was single and Mom decided that I should come out to my step-sister's place in Branson, Missouri for a good old-fashioned country Thanksgiving. The carrot was family. The stick was Missouri.

In the late 1960s it was pretty much a tiny city in the Ozarks known for roadside stands peddling wares that proliferated the hillbilly stereotype. And, sure enough, there are still today roadside stands that exist only to continue to make fun of that stereotype. It's an odd thing to walk into a business in the middle of the Ozarks that sells you the stereotype it tries to escape from. Like buying a taxi cab medallion from an East Indian store or an “I’m a Wetback” T-shirt in a store that sells Mexican merchandise.

It is said you cannot judge a book by its cover.

This is true most of the time, but there are some things you can judge immediately by its cover and pretty much know what your getting.

An Ann Coulter book. Sean Hannity. A FOX News broadcast. Great America. Applebee's.

I assumed that Branson, Missouri would fall into this latter category. I was right and wrong. And the complexities made it a real trip to remember.

Branson is where the Beverly Hillbillies came from before moving to California.

A winding series of roads littered with signs and theaters and restaurants. Lots of bumper stickers that declare “I’d Rather Be Dead Than SOCIALIST” and random tributes to past GOP glory. In the three days we trucked around the city, I counted perhaps one hundred people of color the entire time — I didn't start the trip by calculating this but after a bit, it was hard to escape. Thousands of old white people with canes and wheelchairs abounded but that doesn't really look that much different than Navy Pier or the audience at Chicago Shakes — old white people like to be tourists and Branson is, after all, a haven of tourism.

My step-sister, Hannah, tells me that the crack business booms among the residents of Branson and there is evidence around if you’re looking for it. The place is slightly schizophrenic in its place as a home to rednecks and hillbillies while trying desperately to distance itself from that by appealing to the tourist trade. There are places that stink of what one expects in Ozarks — a biker bar called the Hawg Trough that even my pro-GOP brother-in-law avoids and a Smoke Shop that doesn't sell cigarettes and has a pit bull guarding the door. But there are surprises that popped up during my three-day Thanksgiving vacation that defied my pre-judged expectations.

The surprises came in weird ways. When I arrived, we ate at a place called the Rowdy Beaver — a place with T-shirts that trumpeted “I Like Bald Beaver” and “That's A Mighty Nice Beaver” and had washboard walls. The thing that surprised was that the food was out of this world. It was delicious and well prepared and not at all what I expected. “Our chef prepares everything from fresh ingredients,” trumpeted our waitress who seemed completely fine with her job at a place filled with such juvenile innuendo.

The Hollywood Wax Museum was fun but the wax figures left me a bit wanting — a frequent refrain of our visit was my niece saying “Who's that?” and me doing my best to figure it out. I tried to convince my family to go to Silver Dollar City so I could find and steal a urinal cake but it was $60 per person and even I couldn't argue that $300 was reasonable for me to complete a toilet cookie tale. We had tickets to a magic show billed as the World's Largest (by the way, every attraction in Branson is billed as “Show of the Year,” “The Most Amazing in the World,” and “Mindblowing”) but the show was cancelled due to illness. Turns out Kirby VanBurch’s greatest trick is to take your money and disappear.

Our replacement show for the afternoon was going to be either Jim Stafford (I desperately wanted to see this) or SIX (the nieces had heard it was awesome). Stafford only did an 8 p.m. show, so SIX at the Mickey Gilley Theater it was.

SIX is six middle-aged brothers who debuted on the Donnie and Marie Show and have fashioned themselves as sort of an older version of an a cappella boy band. As soon as they started with a cheeseball version of Don’t Stop Believin’, Hannah and I turned to each other with a look of pained resignation. These guys had pretty good voices and the arrangements were fine but the self-consciously hip pose and cornball attempts at cool banter was unbearable. I learned that wanting to see an awful Branson show and actually sitting through one are two different things. I also learned that I will never, as a middle-aged white guy, ever use the words “homie�� or “peeps” ever again. To be fair, the second act was better — a selection of Christmas songs and a tribute to their dead mother. Apparently this tiny woman had ten children, all boys, and I suspect she isn't dead but just got the fuck out of there before having to bear an eleventh kid. But the damage of the first act left me scarred and a little terrified of that evening’s show — Legends at the Dick Clark American Bandstand Theater.

Legends is a show that debuted in Vegas and moved to Branson. It is a rotating cast of celebrity impersonators ranging from Barry White, Marilynn Monroe and Tim McGraw to the staples of Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson. Our bill was George Strait, Whitney Houston, the Blues Brothers, Liberace and Elvis. As we entered and sat down, once again surrounded by octogenarians, I steeled myself. This was going to be fucking awful.

And it wasn’t.

Really. In fact, it was a blast. The Whitney Houston knocked it out of the park, Liberace was funny but completely inappropriate in a callback to the dark days of The Gay Closet and the Elvis impersonator was so fucking good, if we had been sitting in the nose bleeds it would’ve been like actually seeing Elvis live. My mom, a huge Elvis fan from when he was alive, commented that he was the best Elvis impersonator she had ever seen. Hell, even my teenaged nieces enjoyed the show.

But we saved the best, most Branson-y show for Saturday. Yakov Smirnoff. Holy shit. I couldn’t wait. I was absolutely certain it would embody everything I expected Branson to be — cheesy, cloying, the very portrait of a has-been celebrity stretching out his 15 minutes of fame as paper thin as he could in the heart of the Vegas of the Ozarks. We were greeted by a giant Yakov head making awful jokes about... the size of his head! Inside, it turned out that Yakov was a painter and had his paintings for sale!

The beginning of the show was the longest version of the national anthem I’ve ever heard (who know there were, like, nine verses?) and then I was hit with another fucking surprise. On the video screens came an old Paul Harvey “The Rest of the Story” about a painter known as Jacob who painted and commissioned a painting in tribute to the fallen at Ground Zero in NYC following the Attacks of 9/11.  Painted on the side of a building overlooking the rubble, it was the backdrop to the first anniversary of the attacks. The painter was an anonymous Yakov Smirnoff. He paid for the commission out of his own pocket.

Some of his show was what I expected: a revisitation of his “What a Country!” schtick from the ’80s—a sketch of him as the president answering questions from the audience, and he actually quoted the Lee Greenwood God Bless the U.S.A. as a closer. But other parts were not at all what I anticipated. Turns out that Yakov went out and got a Master's Degree in psychology and decided that his show could also serve as a relationship counseling session as well. Sort of like Defending the Caveman meets a less arrogant Dr. Phill with the takeaway being that we begin relationships laughing and giving each other little gifts and that, if we simply return to giving each other gifts and finding laughter in our relationships, we’ll be happier, healthier people.

Was it a great show? Not really. The dancers were cheesy and only there to fill time, the jokes were funny in a “Yeah, I remember that one” sort of way, the political stuff was tame (although at one point, Yakov asked the audience who was happy with the results of the latest election — a smattering of applause that included my mother and I enthusiastically cheering — and who was ticked off by it — a thundering, slightly ugly ovation — with the Russian comic commenting “Yeah, that's about even...”) and the recurring pro-America stuff was hard to hear after a while. But the thing is... I liked him.

I mean, I really liked the guy. He was so overwhelmingly sincere and genuine. Christ, I wanted to hug him. And, while his show is corny and inoffensive and gentle and perfect for the Branson tourist crowd, this is a guy who lives in Branson, Missouri suggesting that people spend time laughing and loving one another instead of being shitbags.

Prejudice is a funny thing. Judging books by their covers is what we do as people. I imagine it’s a hard drive instinct. But, as I am often heard saying, while we are all unique and precious snowflakes and each of us is completely distinct, we are all made of fucking snow. We all are simply people trying our best to get along in the world. Yes, that means that our baser, uglier instincts come to play like ordinary people rioting in a Walmart on Black Friday to get a discount on a portable DVD player. It also means that our better, more generous nature comes into play, and sometimes it's nice to be reminded that even in Red State Hell, Yakov Smirnoff is telling thousands of people every week to just be fucking nicer to each other.

On Thanksgiving, the point is to be with friends or family and celebrate those things in our lives we are (or should be) thankful for. Sure, the holiday is laden with cultural markers that include the genocide of the Native Americans and our national quest to bequeath every American with diabetes but the point is gratitude. Gratitude can come from a lot of places and I’m thankful to remember the lessons I learned in Branson. 

[senatorrorgana]

Across the Galaxy

Summary: Based off of this prompt I got from @missisjoker : Imagine if Poe, after seeing Rey fly and lift those rocks, sort of has this image of her as a jedi/legend/myth, but one day he sees her staring at the sky and asks what's wrong, and she turns and smiles at him, eyes big and full of wonder, "A rainbow! I've never seen a rainbow before" - and he suddenly realizes just how much she was robbed off. And then makes it his mission to bring her little presents or to show her interesting things- basically, anything to give her a bit of happiness. 

A/N: So I was supposed to post this yesterday, but it turned out longer than expected and I didn't want to cram the ending of this fic on so here we are today, a final fic until the new year! I'm so happy that our little ship has grown so much after TLJ, it's probably been the best thing to come out of the movie really! Here's to a brand new year and hopefully one still filled with Damerey goodness for us to enjoy! <3 

AO3: (x)

   When Poe was younger, he grew up on the stories from his parents about the brave Rebellion. He heard the stories of how Han Solo and Chewbacca flew in with the Millenium Falcon to help destroy the first Death Star, how Leia Organa became a brave and fearless leader of the Rebellion despite all she lost, and how a farm boy from Tatooine named Luke Skywalker came to be not only one of the Rebellion’s greatest heroes but the last of the Jedi. When Luke Skywalker disappeared, he figured the Jedi and all those who could use the Force as strongly as Luke could have disappeared with him, but he’d never been happier to be so wrong.

   There was Rey, a girl who came out of the blue and single-handedly managed to save the Resistance from certain destruction. She’d accomplished so much in so little time, and after getting a moment to finally properly meet her, Poe began to understand why Finn had cared about her so much. She was strong, there was no doubt, but there was a gentleness to her that he saw when she helped them as well, especially when she talked to BB-8, Leia, and Finn.

   They had just settled into their new base, the Resistance taking advantage of the First Order no longer knowing where they were to recover from their heavy losses. Poe had been working non-stop with the few mechanics that remained alive to repair the X-Wings they’d found within the old base and had finally been ordered by General Organa to take a mandatory break for the entire day. Despite the small size of the Resistance now, Poe hadn’t seen Rey since they had made it to their new home, which made him all the more surprised to see her sitting atop the Falcon, looking up at the sky with this looks of wonder on her face.

   “Permission to come aboard?” Poe asked from below, cracking a smile when she looked down at him with a grin of her own.

   “Permission granted,” Rey replied.

   Poe made his way up the ladder propped up against the side of the Falcon, climbing up and taking a seat beside Rey. She kept her eyes locked on the sky above them, or rather what little she could see of it through the dense forests of Yavin 4.

   “What are you looking at?” Poe asked curiously, following her gaze and seeing nothing of note, at least nothing that he hadn’t already seen before after growing up on this planet.

   “There’s a rainbow,” Rey said, “I’ve never seen one of them in person before.”

   Rainbows were typical over Yavin 4, with all the rain that fell over the planet, they were almost a daily occurrence. He remembered what it was like to see them when he was just a boy, but after so many years he no longer noticed him. Rey was from Jakku, and from what Finn had told him, she’d lived her entire life there, rainbows would have been new to her along with so many other things surrounding them that Poe took for granted. It was easy to forget that Rey had seen so little of the galaxy when he had seen so much, she looked at the galaxy like he did when he was just a boy, and his heart ached knowing just how much she had missed before being caught up in all of this.

   “A lot of this must be new to you, huh?” Poe asked.

   “I’ve never seen so many trees before either, everything is so dense and surprisingly warm,” Rey said, finally tearing her gaze away from the sky and looking all around them, “but it’s wonderful, isn’t it?”

   “I grew up here,” Poe said, “I guess I forgot how this place would look to someone who has never seen a planet like it before.”

   “You grew up here?” Rey asked, her face lighting up with excitement.

    “Yeah, I did,” Poe laughed.

   “What else is there around here? Are there lakes? Fields?” Rey asked, pelting him with questions but all filled with such genuine interest.

    “There are both lakes and fields, there are also rivers pretty close by, and there are more temples like this place too scattered all over the planet,” Poe said, “I could show you sometime.”

    “I’d like that,” Rey said.

   General Organa had sent Poe out to Naboo to search for those willing to help the Resistance, and with the word beginning to spread about Luke Skywalker’s last stand on Crait, the Resistance would be getting the support it desperately needed. Despite his mission, however, he spent most of his time on Naboo thinking about Rey, mostly what she would have thought of the planet after she found Yavin so interesting. Maybe it would have overwhelmed her with all of the people and the bustling city, or maybe she would have wanted to explore every inch of it, he wished he could have brought her along. He wanted to bring something back for her, something that she wouldn’t have seen before. He ended up bringing back Starblossom’s, a rare fruit that came from the long-dead planet of Alderaan that Naboo had managed to grow. While he did give some to General Organa as well, Poe had saved a few for Rey in hopes to give her a food she’d never tried before.

   “What are these?” Rey asked, the two of them sitting down at a table in the middle of the mess hall, Rey studying the fruit in her hand.

   “It’s a Starblossom,” Poe said, “they used to grow on Alderaan.”

   Rey kept turning the fruit around in her hand, seeming to try and find a way to actually eat the oddly shaped yet colorful fruit. Before Poe could offer to cut it up for her, Rey took a giant bite out of it. She chewed for a minute, seeming to debate whether she liked it or not before a grin crossed her face.

   “It's really good,” Rey said to his relief.

   “Glad you like them,” Poe said.

   “They almost taste like those Koyo melons you had me try,” Rey said.

   “A little bit, yeah,” Poe said, “I was trying to find something to bring back for you since I know you haven't seen much of the galaxy.”

   “You were thinking of me while you were gone?” Rey asked.

   Realizing the magnitude of what he had just admitted, Poe felt a heat creep up his cheeks and couldn't fight off the nervous grin that took over.

   “It's a big galaxy out there and, uh, I guess I thought if I could help you see some of it for now...it's not weird, is it?” Poe asked.

   “For someone else, I don't know, but I don't think so at all,” Rey assured him, “it's one of the nicest things someone has ever done for me.”

   Poe relaxed at that, wondering in the back of his mind how Rey managed to make him feel simultaneously nervous and comfortable all at once.

   “I'll try to bring back more things for you then, whenever I can,” Poe promised.

   “Poe, you don't have to, I've got nothing to give you in return,” Rey said.

   “No, I want to,” Poe said, “and don't worry about me, I don't want anything, I just want to see you happy.”

   Rey smiled back with that soft smile she wore when they first met, the smile that visited his dreams more times than he cared to admit already. He was more than sure he was seeing things when he saw a faint blush on her face now, his imagination probably getting the better of him and what he wished he saw.

   Poe had been gone for almost a week on a mission on Dantooine. Normally, he would have loved the mission opportunity to be able to get away from base for a little bit and get to fly an X-Wing, but instead, he found himself longing to return. He could have denied that it had anything to do with his growing closeness to Rey, they’d become good friends over the past months between spending time together working on the Falcon and Poe introducing her to new things every time he came back from a mission. Most of those missions had been two days at the most, this week being the longest one to date since the Resistance was slowly rebuilding, and being away from Rey made it feel even longer. He knew he was developing feelings for her, he knew from the moment he first saw her smile that he’d fall for her even though he tried to fight it - they were in the middle of a war after all where nothing was certain, and the last thing anyone needed was a distraction - but he’d fallen for her nonetheless.

   Rey looked at everything with such optimism and hope, her smile always made his heart beat just a bit faster, and she was easily the strongest person he’d ever met, enduring so much and still willing to help those who needed it. She was the kind of girl he used to dream about when he was young, though he’d never admit that to anyone. Rey was a leader, a hero people looked up to, himself included - she had so many people counting on her, distracting her with something silly like romance would only do just that, distract her. Besides, who was to say that she even liked him back?

   Coming back from Dantooine, Poe brought her flowers. The romantic implications of it didn’t cross his mind until he saw people whispering and casting glances in his direction as he crossed the base with the flowers in his hand. Poe wasn’t a man to feel self-conscious often, but with the rumors floating around the base of him and Rey already before this, he couldn’t help but begin to feel a bit nervous with all eyes on him.

   “Poe, we got two more X-Wing’s up and running while you were gone and - wait, are those flowers, where did you get flowers?” Rose asked.

   The entire hanger looked over at him now, each of them turning away to whisper to one another when Poe looked at them.

   “Oh, are those for Rey? That’s so sweet,” Rose said with a joyful grin, “she’ll love those.”

   “They’re for Rey but it’s not what you think,” Poe said, “they’re just friendly flowers.”

   “Friendly flowers?” Rose questioned.

   “Yeah, friends can give friends flowers,” Poe said.

   Rose looked at him with confusion for a moment before the knowing smile returned. “Do friends call each other every night over the comms?”

   “That - those were just - I was just -” Poe stammered, unable to find the explanation that he was looking for to try and explain away that he called Rey every night he was gone because he wanted to see her face.

   “You know, Finn was right, you’re a terrible liar,” Rose laughed.

   Knowing there was no way to talk himself out of this situation, Poe just relented with a sigh. “Do you know where Rey is?”

   “She’s in her room in the base,” Rose said.

   “Thanks,” Poe said, starting to walk off.

   “Poe,” Rose called out, Poe stopping to look back at her, “if it means anything, I don’t think it’s just you. Rey lights up whenever she talks about you and practically jumped at every chance you called while you were gone. I know whatever you two do is entirely up to you two but...I don’t know, I feel like you should know that much at least. It’s kind of sweet whatever it is between you two.”

   It was a simple little detail that Poe wouldn’t have known otherwise, and maybe that’s what made him crack a smile now, hearing that he wasn’t foolishly and hopelessly pining after someone who didn’t think about him nearly as much as he thought of them. Giving Rose a nod before he left, Poe went and searched Rey out with a new sense of hope.

   Poe was supposed to be back from his mission today, not that Rey had been counting the days or anything like that. She missed having Poe around, but it was different somehow than when she missed Finn, it was a kind of longing that she didn’t quite know how to explain. He probably didn’t think of her as much as she thought of him, and maybe that was partly why she decided to get a gift for him this time around, even though he told her he wanted nothing in return from all the things he’d brought her. A knock on her door made her shove the gift for him into her pocket before jumping to her feet, she knew it was Poe on the other side before even opening the door.

   “Hi,” Poe greeted her.

   Rey didn’t say a word, instead of wrapping her arms around him the minute she saw him, burying her face in the crook of his neck, closing her eyes to enjoy the small moment. Poe didn’t hesitate to put his arms around her waist and hold her close, giving Rey something to lean into and reassure herself that he was finally back and in one piece.

   “Good to see you too,” Poe mumbled into her shoulder.

   “Sorry, I just missed you,” Rey said, pulling away from the hug just enough to speak.

   “I missed you too,” Poe said, causing something that felt like butterflies to stir in Rey’s stomach, “I brought you these.”

   Poe pulled away from the hug to reveal the flowers he’d held behind her back during their embrace. Rey had seen flowers scatter about Yavin 4, but these were truly something special; big and beautiful flowers with such vibrant colors that Rey thought them almost too beautiful to truly exist.

   “Poe, these are beautiful,” Rey said, taking the flowers from him and looking at each of them up close, her particular favorite being the giant blue flower in the middle that resembled a lily.

   “I know it’s not something entirely new for you, but these flowers only grow on Dantooine, every other planet that tries to grow them can’t,” Poe said.

   “Thank you for these,” Rey said, “I’ll keep them in here to keep the porgs away from them, those little things love nesting in the flowers around the base.”

   “I noticed,” Poe laughed.

   “I actually got you something too,” Rey said, putting the flowers gently down on her bed.

   “Rey, I told you, you don’t have to give me anything -”

   “I know, but I wanted to and...this means a lot to me so just close your eyes, okay?” Rey asked.

   Without further arguments, Poe obliged and closed his eyes. Rey dug his present out of her pocket, holding it up to make sure everything would stay in place before placing it around Poe’s neck.

   “Okay, open,” Rey said.

   Poe looked down right away, holding the new necklace up to better see it.

   “It’s a kyber crystal,” Rey explained, “I found a couple of them when I went looking for new ones to use in my new lightsaber. There aren’t really many Jedi around to use them anymore so I figured you could keep this one with you, so that way there’s always a piece of me with you.”

   The silence in the room was crushing as Rey waited with bated breath for Poe to say something - anything - about the gift. Her mind started racing, thinking it was a stupid and silly gift, that he wouldn’t want any part of her following him around wherever he went, that he wanted nothing to do with her other than being friends. But then he smiled, that warm smile that made Rey feel at home and like everything was going to be okay.

   “Rey, this is amazing, thank you,” Poe said, pulling her in for another hug and taking her by surprise.

   When they pulled away again, Rey lingered a bit too close, though it didn’t feel close enough at all compared to what she wanted. She felt his gaze on him and Rey couldn’t help but stare down at his lips, thinking about how badly she wanted to cover them with hers despite never kissing someone a day in her life before this. They were so close and drifting even closer, Rey wondering if Poe realized just how dangerously close they were getting until the door opened.

   “Hey Rey, Chewie was -” Finn walked into the room, stopping short when he saw the two of them still so close, neither making a move to really back away, “Rose is gonna kill me,” Finn mumbled, “I’m just gonna go tell him that you’re busy.”

   Finn promptly shut the door behind him, leaving the two to awkwardly back away from one another slightly, neither brave enough to continue the moment that was between them just seconds ago.

   “I better go find Beebee-Ate, he wanted to run some diagnostics on my ship,” Poe said.

   “Yeah, I better go see what Chewie wanted,” Rey said.

   Poe left the room in a hurry after that, leaving the door open behind him and causing more than a few people to glance into the room that had been walking down the hallway. How foolish could she have been to think he would have kissed her anyway?

   Rey wasn’t sure what she was feeling right now, but it felt an awful lot like a broken heart. Who would want a nobody like her? Her own family didn’t want her, what made her think she had even a slight chance with Poe Dameron?

   Another few weeks had passed, and while Poe hadn’t been sent on a mission to Corellia, he just so happened to come across from Corellian Merlot on the base. He'd become so wrapped up in the Resistance with all the meeting and planning for attacks, he hadn't seen much of Rey past the mess hall, though in all fairness, she seemed to be avoiding him. No matter how hard he tried to get a moment with her, something always happened that caused him to just miss her, even BB-8 couldn't get her to sit still for a moment. He knew there was one place she'd never retreat from, however, and that was the Falcon, especially at night when she loved to stargaze from the roof of the ship.

   Poe climbed up the Falcon unannounced, fearing Rey would scurry off if he had, and came with the Corellian Merlot in hand.

   “Hey,” Poe said once aboard the ship.

   “Hey,” Rey said quietly, her eyes locked on he stars above.

   Poe didn't need the Force to know that something was wrong with Rey, she wasn't her usual self, and she hadn't really been herself since they last spoke and almost kissed.

   “I think I found something new for you,” Poe said, taking a seat beside her and slightly hurt when she inched away, “it’s Corellian Merlot.”

   Rey finally looked over and despite the darkness around them, the dim lights from the tarmac offered him enough of a view to see her eyes were red-rimmed, along with a red nose. She'd been crying, but the question was, what had she been crying about?

   “Want some?” Poe asked.

   Rey simply nodded in reply, pulling her knees up closer to her chest and just watching Poe open the bottle. When he got it open, he handed it over to Rey who surprised him by taking a big gulp from it, coughing slightly before handing it back.

   “I've never really had alcohol before,” Rey admitted.

   “Good thing I brought the wine and not the whiskey,” Poe said, “is everything alright?”

   “Why?” Rey asked, looking right at him for the first time tonight and Poe noticing how watery her eyes were.

   “You look upset,” Poe said, “I know this is kind of a selfish thing to ask but, did I do something wrong?”

   “No, kriff, why would you ask that?” Rey asked.

   “You've been avoiding me since I came back from Dantooine,” Poe said.

   Rey was silent again, thinking about her answer while Poe took a sip of wine before holding the bottle back out to her.

   “I think I'm going to need more of this to talk about it,” Rey said with a sigh, taking another big sip.

   “Okay,” Poe said.

   The two sat there in silence, only handing the bottle off back and forth until they both stayed to feel a bit flush and warm. By the time the bottle was empty, Rey was far more relaxed than when he found her, and the distance between them had slowly closed as she inched back to his side, their shoulders leaning against one another.

   “It's about you,” Rey said, breaking the silence.

   “I'm listening,” Poe assured her.

   Rey sat up straight and moved herself to sit directly in front of Poe.

   “I'm not used to friends or having people around who care about me,” Rey said, “I've always been on my own really. Finn is my friend, I know that, but with you it just felt...different. You're my friend and you've been I hung but nice to me this whole time. But I just get this weird feeling around you, I like being close to you, I like being around you more than anyone else.”

   “Rey -”

   “Just let me finish before I get too nervous,” Rey said, Poe nodded his head and let her go, “I've never felt this way about anyone else, and I know it's stupid to feel this way about you. You're my friend. But you're also a Resistance hero, your parents were Rebel heroes, you’re an Admiral of the Resistance now, and I'm just...nobody-”

   “Rey, you're not nobody,” Poe cut her off, “you're the most incredible woman I've ever met, you can do things no one else here can, and you're the bravest person I know. And yeah, you're my friend too, but...you mean more than that to me.”

   “I-I do?” Rey asked.  

   “You do,” Poe said, “I...I, uh, kriff, I've never really been good with words.”

   Poe leaned in and kissed Rey, pulling her closer and letting his hands tangle in her hair. He hadn't kissed anyone in ages, but he still remembered enough to enjoy the moment and taste the faint bit of Merlot left on Rey's lips. When they parted, Rey looked shocked, and for a moment Poe wondered if he shouldn't have been so forward.

   “I've never kissed someone before,” Rey finally spoke, “I think I like it.”

   “Yeah?” Poe asked

   “Maybe we'll have to do that again to find out if I really like it or not,” Rey said with a smirk before leaning in and initiating the kiss this time around.

   Rey climbed into his lap all while keeping the kiss going, letting her hands comb through his curls while Poe let his hands find her waist. Poe knew one thing for certain, and it was that Rey was a fast learner, kissing him with all the passion he'd kissed her with. When they parted for air this time they were both smiling, pressing their foreheads against one another and wanting to keep close.

   “I like kissing you,” Rey finally admitted.

   “I like kissing you too,” Poe said with a grin.

   “We should keep doing this,” Rey said, “and maybe you can keep helping me with firsts…”

   “As long as you want me to, I will,” Poe promised.

   Rey pressed a quick kiss to his forehead before returning to their embrace. Of all the firsts Poe helped her experience so far, this was by far his favorite first of hers too.

[ellana-ravenwood]

“You’re mister J’s new obsession, Sugar” 2/3 - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Summary : The Joker kidnapped you over a week ago, and your family is starting to really panic. Chapter 2/3. 

Warnings : Violence, because we’re talking about the Joker here...Hope you’ll enjoy it as much as the first part ! Don’t hesitate to tell me what you think :).

FINISHED SERIES : PART 1, PART 3 

my master list blog :  @ella-ravenwood-archives

______________________________________________________________________

A few hours after your capture, you finally met him. For real. And it was the most terrifying thing you ever lived. 

A wall opened up on the side of the bedroom, and Harley Quinn entered first. Her face was swollen, all sort of shades of blues and purple. Some green around the chin. Black around the eyes.  And behind her followed the clown. 

He pushed the ex-shrink out of his way brutally, and she tripped and fall with a loud thud. He didn’t pay attention to her at all, circling around you like a shark. 

You held your breath in, he was getting closer. 

Harley was still on the floor, not moving, and though she was crazy and tried to kill your husband multiple times, you couldn’t help but feel pity for her. You knew she genuinely had a mental disorder, she wasn’t a complete psycho, a wild dog with rabies like the Joker. You knew she was helplessly in love with the clown, and in return, he was nothing but abusive...You just felt so sorry for her. 

But only for a few seconds, because now, the Joker was so close to you that you could feel his breath on your face...

-Hello there. 

His voice wasn’t pleasant. At all. Bruce’s voice was gentle, deep and low, you would give anything to hear it now...But all you heard was his nasal and irritating voice. 

You didn’t say anything. His eyes narrowed. 

-A polite and distinguish woman like you should greet me in return. 

You stayed silent. He smiled, and it made you shiver. 

-Oh, that’s sexy. You shiver at the mere sight of me. I knew we’d quickly get along. 

You made a face of disgust at his misinterpretation, to make sure he understood that no, you didn’t shiver because he aroused you, but because he freaked the Hell out of you. But apparently, according to the Joker, a grimace of disgust was the equivalent of a love declaration, as his lips suddenly crashed on yours. 

You were so stunned, that you didn't react at all when he planted a bruising kiss on your lips, his tongue trying to enter your mouth, his teeth biting ruthlessly your bottom lip...But you quickly regain your senses, and bit him, hard, as a reflex. 

He swore, in pain, taking a few steps back from you...and then he just laughed. Laughed, laughed and laughed, and you felt tears welled up in your eyes, more scared than you ever been. 

-I like a woman with character !! Oooh we’re gonna have fun (Y/N), so much fun ! I’m going to...What is that ? Are you cheating on me ?

He was showing the love bites Bruce left on your neck the night before. 

You shuddered, understanding Harley’s words. “You’re mister J’s new obsession, Sugar”...Somehow, somewhere in his deranged mind, the Joker had decided that you were his. That you and him were “an item”. It froze your blood. Oh my God....

For years you heard stories of that damn clown going on around Gotham. Everyone talked about him as if he was the Boogeyman himself. No. As if he was worst than the Boogeyman. Worst than the Devil. And he was the only one that Bruce always refused to speak about...Which was saying a lot. There were urban legend that kids told each other around a camp fire, about The Joker coming in the darkest of night, to take them away, drag them with him to whatever Hell he lived in... 

This time, he came for you. And given the effort he put in recreating the bedroom you had back at the mansion, you couldn’t help but think he carefully planned everything, and that you’d never get found...You felt like even your Batman couldn’t do anything this time. 

-No one, NO ONE, abuse my trust and get out of it without a scratch. Ooooh (Y/N), you shouldn’t have done that. We’re gonna have fun, so much fun. Well, at least, I will. I promise. I’ll try and make it enjoyable for you though...

And on those words, he grabbed your hair harshly, pulled on them with force tilting your head back, kissed you again (you wanted to vomit)...and slowly took a sharp and dirty knife up to one of the love bites. 

You held your screams in as the craziest and most psychotic man in Gotham City started to cut out your skin, carefully making sure that no trace from Bruce’s love remained on your body. No trace at all.

************

Bruce was going crazy. A week. It had been a fucking week since your kidnapping. And he had absolutely no lead. Not a single clue. 

For seven days, he desperately roamed the city every night, looking for any intels, brutalizing and plain torturing dozens and dozens of people that might have an idea of where the Joker went...But they all had the exact same answer : 

-There’s nothing you can do to us, that he won’t do, but ten times worst. Hit us all you want Batsy, even if we knew where he was, which we don’t, we wouldn’t say anything. Because your treatment is better than what he’d do to us.

Gotham’s hospitals were overcrowded with low life criminals and other nut jobs. 

Your children were as panicked and desperate as their father, and none of them had much sleep since you were taken. Dick had to carry Damian back home today, as the boy fell asleep, unable to stop himself. 

Alfred forced them to get some rest, and after a lot of yelling and anger, they were just too exhausted to argue anymore, and they all fell asleep in the bat cave. Damian was curled up next to the bat cow, Tim was asleep on his computer’s keyboard, Dick and Jason were back to back, arms crossed, done resisting sleep. 

But there was one Alfred couldn’t convince, or tire out...Bruce. He was determined to have no rest until you were safe. He couldn’t lose you. He wouldn’t bear it...He couldn’t even bear the mere thought of loosing you. So he kept going, fighting his exhaustion fiercely. 

If you died, he would never be whole again. 

***************

You resisted for them. You were strong for them. 

Only the thought of your husband, of your children, and of the butler you came to call “dad” kept you alive. 

Harley never came back in your cell, but the Joker was there almost every hour of the day. You could feel his touch lingering on your body when he wasn’t. 

If you counted it right, it had been a week. A week of abuse of all sort. A week of trying to get out. A week, getting weaker each minutes. A week, and your Bruce still wasn’t there...For the first time in your life, you started to think he really wasn’t coming. Your heart faltered...

The door in the wall opened, and you raised your head with pride. Your eyes full of hatred met his crazed ones. 

-Oh my oh my oh my. Always so...full of dignity. I like it. Now (Y/N), what shall I do with you today ? 

*******************

It was Damian who found her. He was patrolling around the city weakly, the thought of his mother between this maniac’s hand refusing to leave his mind, when his path crossed hers. 

Harley Quinn. 

She looked pathetic. More than usual. When she saw him, she didn’t even try to run away or anything. On the contrary. 

-Robin. Ooooh Robin. Take me to the Batman, I have informations. Important informations. About Bruce Wayne’s wife. 

*********************

It took everything in Bruce not to punch the woman as she came in. Just because she was with the Joker the night they took you away from him, he wanted to punch her. He often felt irrational emotions when it came to you...jealousy over someone who had no chance with you, anger over people who disrespected you...Genuine murderous thoughts toward the one who helped your kidnapping, and was standing in front of him as if she was the most innocent woman in the world. But he didn’t hurt her in any way, he knew it wasn’t totally her fault. She was sick. 

It took everything in Dick too. And in Tim. And Jason. For the same reason. 

When he saw her, Damian hadn’t been able to resist...And Harley had a fresh black eye. He tried to make her talk about his mother’s location, making her understand he would go to any ends to find her...but she refused to say anything if it wasn’t to the bat himself. 

He covered her eyes, and took her to the bat cave. 

Bruce didn’t even let her time to adjust to the bright lights around her. 

-Where is she ? 

Harley didn’t answer. Dick, with a voice full of anger that didn’t resemble him at all, said : 

-Answer us Quinn, where is she ?! Is she alright ?! 

Tim, usually very calm and collected, just like Bruce, grabbed her by the collar and was about to become violent when...

-Wowza. Calm down boys. Do you think I’d willingly follow Batsy Jr over there if I didn’t wanna talk ? 

-How can we trust you though ? 

Jason raised a good point, that in the heat of the action, the others didn’t even think about. 

-Oh you can trust me alright. Ok, I’m a pathologic liar and the voices in  my head tell me to shut up and take you in the wrong direction and stuffs, but...really, you can truuuuust me. 

Alfred, bless him for always being the voice of reason and having the good ideas, went to take a lying detector from the accessories’ cabinet. Bruce thanked him, and shook his head to take his worries, anger and fears out of his mind. He had to regain his composure, he had to calm himself down, or he could miss an important clue. He couldn’t let his judgement be clouded, your life was at stake. 

Hooked on the machine, Harley started to talk. And not a lie came out of her mouth. She wasn’t like the Joker, she wasn’t able to control her emotions, so if she actually was lying, they would have known. 

-I came here to tell you. I miss my Mister J. He hasn’t touched me once, not even to hit me since she’s there...He didn’t even notice my absence. So...Here I am. I’m going to tell you.

They were waiting, shifting around impatiently. 

-First, she’s alive, not quite alright though haha.

It didn’t make them laugh, quite the contrary, and Harley gulped loudly. 

-She’s...Not in the best shape. But alive. I’ll show you where. 

-Tell us. 

-No, I’ll show you. 

-You really think we’re gonna fall for that ?

-You do, or you won’t see her ever again. Believe me. And from my understanding, she’s not just Bruce Wayne’s precious little pet. 

-She’s not a pet !! I’ll kill y...

-Robin, contain yourself ! 

His father’s strict and calm voice took Damian back to reality. The Batman turned to the Joker’s ex-girlfriend : 

-Alright Harley, we’ll follow you. But if you try to pull any of your...

-I won’t. If there’s one time in your life you can trust me Batsy, it’s now. I want my Mister J’s back, and I won’t until that woman’s out of his life. So now, untie me, get me out of your man cave, and follow me. Because I know where she is, and I’m not sure she has much time left, Mister J tends to get bored easily with his obsessions...

****************

In a cell that looked exactly like the bedroom you shared with Bruce, you were laying in the same king sized bed you had home. But it wasn’t home, it was Hell...The bogeyman took you there. No, worst than the bogeyman. The Joker. And you weren’t sure you could take it for much longer... 

To Be Continued, final and last part up some time next week :D. 

[matthoerig]

E3 2018 Press Conferences – Something for Everyone?

 E3 began today, Tuesday, June 12th, with the official opening of the expo floor in Los Angeles. It feels, for those of watching from afar, like E3 ended this morning with the last of the publisher press conferences/presentations/ media briefings that began on Saturday and traditionally feature the biggest reveals and news about the coming years in games. Starting with EA on Saturday and through this morning's Nintendo Direct, here are my quick (editor's note: ha!) thoughts and takeaways from each presentation.  

EA kicked things off on Saturday and did every other company a favor by setting such a low bar to clear to appear interesting. Their sports lineup was represented with announcements for FIFA, NBA Live, and Madden. Madden 19 will mark the franchise's return to the PC, which immediately had me worried about hacking. It's no secret these games' Ultimate Team modes make EA tons of money via microtransaction-driven card collecting/team building and I imagine within hours of release the more creative members of the PC scene will have accounts with tons of in-game currency and/or the best cards available in the mode. There was also a bit of a lackluster showing of Anthem, the new game from Bioware that's poised to be EA/Bioware's Destiny. I enjoyed having the developers speak, but I didn't come away feeling like I have any idea if Bioware is making a game that I would expect and want from Bioware vs simply aping the model of Destiny. We also got a tease of Respawn's Star Wars game, with studio head Vince Zampella revealing the name (Jedi Fallen Order) and that it would be set between Episodes 3 and 4. No gameplay or trailer was shown, just a name given and a release date of "Holiday 2019" that I would already bet is actually more like "Spring 2019." Finally, the Star Wars Battlefront II team from DICE addressed overhauls to progression and upcoming content updates, saying on stage they got things wrong at release. It was nice to hear, but I'd bet all the money in my pocket against all the money in yours that NO ONE at DICE made the business decisions that led to Battlefront II launching with the broken, exploitative progression system and loot box set-up they took so much heat for. EA's CEO, Andrew Wilson, was there to say all kinds of nice things about the upcoming line-up, it would have been better to see him eat just a bite of humble pie for the disastrous decisions behind Battlefront II.  

Sunday was a much better day, with Microsoft and Bethesda having strong presentations outlining defined futures for their companies. Microsoft touted 50 games being shown and equally impressive numbers of "world premieres" and "exclusives" even if those phrases mean less and less and the market changes. Of the 50 games shown, the things I'm excited for are: Gears Tactics, an Xcom inspired strategy and tactics game in the Gears of War universe, Crackdown 3, which was delayed again until February 2019 but still looks like the open world toy box you want from Crackdown, And Forza Horizon 4, which brings changing seasons to the open world driving franchise. Some other announcements got my attention, like Chis Avellone writing Dying Light 2, a sequel whose predecessor didn't connect with me at all, very good trailers for Tunic, Shadow of the Tomb Raider, and Metro Exodus. Microsoft also announced they were beefing up their 1st party studio portfolio by acquiring 5 new studios, including Playground Games (Forza Horizon), Undead Labs (State of Decay franchise), and Ninja Theory who released the underrated Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice last year. Even if some of the big reveals didn't connect with me (Devil May Cry 5, Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice), it was a strong showing for a company that's been on the defensive since the poor reveal and launch of the Xbox One. They ended with a trailer for CD Projekt Red's Cyberpunk 2077. That game has a look and a tone already that I'm into to the degree I'm almost prepared to say "Show me no more until I can download it and play it myself."  

Bethesda spent the first half of their event covering the bases they needed to: service games like Elder Scrolls Online and Elder Scrolls Legends (both of which I enjoy!) got stage time to mention upcoming content or changes, but those types of games see updates and changes so frequently that their communities are better served by dedicated streams or community events. Quake Champions is still alive and being supported. Wolfenstein; Youngblood was announced as more Wolfenstein, focused on BJ Blaskowitz's now grown twin daughters. Pete Hines also announced a VR Wolfenstein title, "Wolfenstein Cyberpilot" that is part of their "never ending mission to bring the message of 'Fuck Nazis' to every platform possible." Todd Howard then spent 30 minutes or so doing what I wish Bioware had done for Anthem, explaining what the game would be and how it would differ from prior, mainline Fallout experiences. I'm eager to play with friends after seeing what they had to say. And then they teased Starfield and The Elder Scrolls 6, which I'm imagining won't be actual products until 2020 and 2022, respectively.  

Square Enix kicked off Monday with a video presentation. They showed almost nothing new that interested me; I was already going to play Shadow of the Tomb Raider, Dragon Quest XI, and Octopath Traveler. It was still nice to see trailers for them. The Quiet Man was the only intriguing new thing to me, and even then I have no idea what the brief mixed live action/gameplay thing they showed was or what the game actually is. That's not a bad thing – sometimes a "teaser" does its job by "teasing" you with what may be.  

Ubisoft had a typical Ubisoft presentation, opening with a dancing panda bear accompanied by a marching band. I could tell you it was to promote the latest entry in the Just Dance series, but would it matter? It was still a dancing panda bear and marching band and was wonderfully weird with or without context. Beyond Good and Evil 2 made an appearance with an impressive trailer and some pre-alpha footage. Less impressive was the announcement of a partnership with Hit Record to crowdsource assets for the game. Don't do spec work, and multibillion dollar companies should pay the people who make their products. Also worth mentioning, The Division 2 got its first extended trailer after an earlier appearance of gameplay at Microsoft. I enjoyed aspects of The Division, and it sounds like the dev team is aware of less than stellar aspects of that game that were a drag, i.e. bullet sponge enemies. I have incredibly mixed feelings on The Division 2; the trailer includes the phrase "America is on the verge of collapse," and, like, maybe read the room in a nation hurtling towards being a fascist police state? Also, when your game explicitly focuses on a world where government-sanctioned agents operate as an ad hoc paramilitary organization, it's disingenuous at best for the developers to say the game is "apolitical." On the other hand, the shooting feels good and the loot treadmill sure was rewarding in the original The Division. It's out on March 15th, 2019, so maybe the impacts of the repeal of the US's net neutrality protections will be clear by then and help me make up my mind about playing an on-line only game. The pirate game Skull and Bones had a significant presence and looks intriguing since it's the boat combat from Assassin's Creed Black Flag turned into its own game. Assassin's Creed Odyssey also got a full reveal and while I was looking forward to more time to complete AC: Origins, that game was so good I'll happily play the next entry.  

Sony embodied the feeling of "something for everyone, but maybe not a lot for me" I felt during a lot of E3. They opened with The Last of Us 2 which is 100% my jam. The trailer/demo they showed opened with protagonist Ellie at a barn party for her community, clearly watching another young woman dancing with some guy. The music shifts to a slower song, and Ellie and her crush, Dina, then dance, having a genuine moment that showcases developer Naughty Dog's ability to do human interaction, emotion, and storytelling better than almost any other AAA developer. There's a kiss that's impressive in its techincal aspects and in Sony any Naught Dog being willing to show an openly queer character as the lead for their major tentpole release, and it fades into black and returns with a 7-8 minute gameplay section highlighting stealth and combat. Animations are fluid and natural, and the attacks, be they up close stabbings or gunshots, appear to have a weight behind them. It's technically impressive, but I worry about the balance between the story and character moments I enjoy from a Naught Dog game and these frankly brutal sequences of intense gore and violence and how they'll be balanced. While I have those doubts, the trailers ends by returning to Dina and Ellie, with Dina making a comment to Ellie that resonates in the context of the two contrasting scenes and Ellie's facial expression changing in an amazingly natural way, both in terms of the technical animation aspect and in the context of the small story we've seen play out. On the "fun violence!" side of the scale is the PS4 exclusive Spider-Man game that looks like a ton of fun with plenty of combat powers to explore and combine in protecting New York. Other big Sony exclusives Ghost of Tsushima and Death Stranding (from Hideo Kojima of Metal Gear fame) look technically impressive but just do nothing for me in terms of story or gameplay.  

Nintendo closed the presentation part of the show the same way EA kicked it off: disappointingly, at least for me. They did confirm a new Fire Emblem title is coming to Switch in Spring of 2019, which is great news, along with a remake/rerelease of The World Ends With You. Mario Tennis Aces and Octopath Traveler are out this month, and Captain Toad; Treasure Tracker hits for Switch in July. The rest of the show was mostly focused on Super Smash Brothers Ultimate, the latest entry in the Smash Brothers series. I have zero interest in Smash Brothers, and a good 30 minutes of the presentation were dedicated to revealing the entire roster – all 64 characters – and going into the minutia of every kind of change you could make to a fighting game. Details abounded about action animations and stages returning and new costumes for fighters and oh god please make it stop.  

Games are for everyone. Not every game is for every person. I'm glad I saw a number of things I can be excited about, and I hope the people who really love other franchises and styles of games get what they want from the titles that spoke to them. But boy am I excited for Cyberpunk 2077.  

[survivorathena-allstars]

Episode #10: “Can You Hear My Eyes Rolling Cause They Are” ~ Owen

I LIVED!!!! Which is good, I'm so glad to be on the side with numbers, that was a good blindside, I'm trying not to feel too bad for Emily since she WROTE MY NAME DOWN. also i wonder who the other vote for me was, i bet it was Cameron so he can play both sides. *EYES* I'm so happy to still be here time to win this challenge! ________________________________________________________________ Also I don't get why Lily is so salty she tried to BLINDSIDE ME

i didn't switch to lily because im mostly a dumbass. also i didn't want her to be bitter but five minutes later that decision turned out to mean nothing. emily voted ruthie with me, i'm not sure who the third vote was??? could they please stand up im tired of living in the dark. i think lily voted for me (also i love getting votes in my last three tribals it's the only thing that makes me feel relevant). anyways what matters is that i'm here, but i don't know how much longer i'll last at this rate. to be fair i was honest with these ppl about who i was voting for so like...but it's also like if i had better connections i would've known but oh well!! new round new me am i right haha :,)

If you think I cried a lot in Themyscira, you should see me now. I'm a pro at this point

LILY'S GONE LILY'S NOT ON JURY CHARLOTTE IS ON JURY I M W I N N I N 

Ok I know I'm not supposed to be here and "the tribe has spoken" but hold up. Did Lildemort really just quit? Sis put all that Coco Montrese-level work in round after round to get me out JUST to quit when the going got tough? And now CHARLOTTE is getting whisked away to fill the jury spot?

I can't even. Yes the evil is defeated and good for Charlotte BUT BITCH. Are... are y'all saying... that this is protocol? So like if anything else goes haywire or someone else quits, IM GOING INTO JURY??? I suddenly don't remember unstanning Athena and my PTSD from these seasons is in check again. Athena jury is my true calling and if this is All-Stars and y'all want the most lit jury.... please please please let me fuck it up. I know I know nothing's official and yes this is Charlotte's moment but like

Ya know you could always do a twistos twist. We don't have to do the same thing twice, someone else quitting and a prejuror coming back. Athena trailblazes and I have been a stellar guinea pig my whole life. Ok so placement! We could be poetic: since I got blindsided 5-2 again, I could be Juror #3 again. OR we could wait a bit and I walk in like 5th or 6th, give my enemies a chance to get there ya know and then I wreak havoc. OR we can be super messy, put me in last, and then everyone will be on the floor deceased. I'm very open minded and down to negotiate. Aaaaalll I'm saying is: if y'all want the drama and the ratings, you know who to call

Whew it's taking a whole lot out of me to put effort into my social game. Like I'm really drained. Like so incredibly drained. Talking to these people really hurts honestly. It really does. And for some reason, I'm the least upset with Will and Cameron. Cameron specifically, I'm fine with quite honestly. He was the only one that had the courage to message me last night and... it just made me feel better. No one else messaged me. Ali did but I think it was because Cameron messaged him telling him to message me. I feel most betrayed by Ali honestly mkdsmfkacsd I'm really trying to decide my next course of action

Emily telling me she's the least mad at me and Cameron after the Lily vote is incredible, seeing as we were two of the people pushing the hardest for her to go. Remember that social game everyone said I didn't have in Azores? Here it is now, because I have Emily, Owen, Zach, and Ruthie all spilling tea and taking the fall for me while the rest of the alliance takes the heat. If anything, my ass is safe for at least one more round because Dana put a huge target on herself - not saying that I would EVER want Dana to go, because I feel like we can protect her if she's the target. There are whispers that Duncan's gonna be the next target for his flip-flopping behavior, and Emily might even want to target Owen next. If we let Emily think she has some power after last night, we could steer her right into getting idoled out which would be evil but also incredible. If Owen/Dana/Ali are her public enemies number 1, 2, and 3 right now then... that's perfect for me. A path is opening up towards the end for me, and I really, really love it. Some people don't learn from their mistakes, but it's 2018 and this year is about growth and personal development - I know why I lost Azores, and now I can see how I can win All Stars. ________________________________________________________________ I'm starting to get worried though because I'm realizing I don't think I can beat Cameron in a F3...and I don't like the thought of having to vote him out and I don't think I could beat him in a F4 tiebreaker either...So the next few tribals need to look like this: F11/F10 boot is Duncan/Owen, F9 boot is Emily, F8-F6 is some combination of Ashvika/Ruthie/Zach, then F5 boot is Cameron and F4 would be unanimously Kevin. Like I said, we can let Emily dictate the F11/F10 targets and I think she'd go for those two first, then we can let her think it's one of us going and play an idol to take her out at F9 (and Cameron/myself wouldn't get the heat). Then we have a clear majority at F8 of our 4 plus really...any of the others who wanna keep going. Then at F6, any idols will have to be played so I just need to make sure I don't become a robbed legend. And then F5 will either be 4-1 or 3-2 and Cameron has to go - and I hate hate HATE that but I'm so worried about me being safe at F4 hinging on winning final immunity. But we'll see I guess. If I'm gonna go to the F3 with my alliance, it needs to be with Ali and Dana - because people think they're erratic and floaters. This is how it's gonna have to be though and I can see a path to the end...but it's not an easy path and people are gonna be Mad with a big fat capital M.

OH HOHO, SO DUNCAN WANTS ME OUT HUH? Well honey, I've got some news for you. One, I have an idol. Two, I have friends in high places. And three? You are not so powerful. I am loved and I am winning this game, and taking the days played record right from your hands. I love you, but you are not taking me down today. 

Whew I've been a roller coaster of emotions for the past twenty four hours and I've finally calmed down and I feel a lot more woke now. Here are some comments on everyone still in the game. ALI: Ali is a hard one because both Duncan and I feel very betrayed by him. Ali didn't fill Duncan in on the Lily vote, it was someone else that told Duncan. And I thought Duncan and Ali were like spearheading the Duncan vote. And I also told Owen about Ali's idol, but I'll get to that part. I don't think I trust Ali anymore unless he can prove to me otherwise. I've been having a very difficult time talking to him because I do feel incredibly betrayed. What I don't understand is why he thought that I had an idol or Lily had an idol? I didn't. I think he knew that. I told him so many times I just wanted to be informed of what was happening, and I thought a good, trustworthy ally of mine would tell me the truth. But he didn't. Not until 10:00. Which I think is very cowardly. I'm playing with a flock of cowards. ASHVIKA: Honestly I'm really pissed she's in such an... untouchable position? In my eyes, she's been super inactive? Maybe that's wrong, but I've not talked to her much at all. I believe she's in an untouchable position because of her allies. She's got Will, Dana, Zach, Duncan... like people on all sides? And that makes me mad? She's going to make it far and it makes me upset. DANA: Queen of unknowingly telling me that Lily was going last night <3 LOL Dana didn't know that I didn't know Lily was leaving and was straight up with me so that's real cute. I know she's close with Zach and has talked about wanting to work with Zach and I but I don't even know where Zach and I stand... I'll comment on that later in Zach's portion of this confession. I also feel like Dana is in a good position and it's >:( PUT ME IN UR POSITIONS U FUCKS DUNCAN: Duncan I thought was a lot more in on the vote than he actually was, which makes me feel bad about exposing his idol to Owen, but I was just SO MAD!!! I think Duncan is feeling the same way about Ali as I am. He's really hurt that Ali would like... go behind the backs of his close allies like this? And, honestly? It's not smart either? We are the only ones (to my knowledge) that know about Ali's idol? Like? Why would Ali do something like this lmao it's just stupid quite honestly. I'm going to have to figure out what to do moving forward but... I trust Duncan and Ali a whole lot. KEVIN: Tbh king of voting in the minority. I really don't have many feelings on Kevin but I honestly feel bad and I'm really confused why he was left out of the vote last round??? Like omg??? Poor Kevin I feel bad. King of being my secret santa. Cameron: After all of this has happened, I trust Cameron the most. I feel like he is being the most genuine with me and the most sincere about wanting to work with me. I think he's going to be someone I want to work with long term. I'm trying to be as adaptable as possible. And I think Cameron will help me out? Maybe? I just don't want to die this round holy fuck. I trust Cameron a good amount and I'm willing to do whatever he wants me to do this round to keep myself alive. And if this is my last round, it's my last round. I still have lots of friends in the game that'd I'd be happy winning. I'm just really concerned idk OUP AND I'VE JUST BEEN INFORMED BY DUNCAN WHO WAS INFORMED BY ALI THAT Cameron TOLD ALI HE HAS AN IDOL!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK OWEN: Okay. Owen's,,,,, been found the heck out. HE HAS BEEN FOUND THE HECK OUT. Like, y'all. Owen is playing me so hard. And I HAVE BEEN AWARE OF IT TOO. I'VE SEEN IT HAPPENING. AND I'M LIKE. OH THAT'S SKETCHY. HAVE I DONE ANYTHING ABOUT IT? NO! Owen told me he was campaigning hard for Kevin to go and from what I was told by Cameron, Owen was actually campaigning for Lily to go, but saying he didn't want to actually vote for Lily because he wanted to stay in my good graces! And he did the same thing with the Madison vote but voting for Jack and not picking a fucking side! Oh god. I felt so alone last night and when Owen called me, I just let it out. I exposed some tea I probably shouldn't have. But I think I know how I can deal with it? I don't know. I think Duncan is a very likely target this round. If he doesn't use his hideout, he needs to use his idol. Like. He's very likely to go home. And we can idol out a big person if we use it. Whether it's Will, Dana, Ashvika, or Ali I don't care. I want one of them gone. And I think we can do it. I think we need to keep Owen out of that plan though? I don't know what's going to go on. I want Owen gone but I know Duncan doesn't so like... this is going to be a big mess lol RUTHIE: God who the fuck knows honestly. I don't. WILL: I like Will but he's got his own little... posse. And they scare me. Him, Cameron, Ashvika, Dana, Zach, and Ali. And probably Owen, honestly. They fucking......... I won't let them run this game no sir-ee! I don't know how to fix it but fksdfjasd. Also I thought he had an idol but no, Cameron has that. So. Anyways I don't have much to say about Will. I'm fine with him. Don't want him to vote me out. ZACH: I love Zach so so so much and he's a great person but like I have no clue where we stand in the game anymore. Actually i just messaged him a long thing and I think we're all okay. Also I'm gonna submit his and all of my Zach talk is just gonna be the same uWu I love zach so much stuff so like I'm just gonna send it y'all know I love zach already no need to say it again bye

I AM SO PROUD OF WILL!! Now to figure out what to do.  I really don't want Emily to go and it's simply because she's just too gosh darn likable.  I'm going to try to figure something out with Cameron and Will though and right now they are my saviors, I'll do whatever they want to do but I also really don't want Owen or Zach to leave either. 

Honestly I don't know what to think. I feel bad because I partially betrayed Emily by knowing Lily was leaving but lying, or failing to tell! Wooh love omission! But I think i've talked with her and i'm sure it's not super fixed but it's a little better. I now have an alliance with Duncan and Ashvika, then my pal Dana. How loyal am I? Well... not a lot. I don't want them to release this information and then by default, i'm the one being voted out because of "betrayal" or whatnot. But i'm not sure who i'd love to see. I guess my ideal people are Kevin, and a little Ruthie/Ali. I like everyone genuinely and i'm upset by Lily's reaction and just overall execution, but I feel like it was a fine move and despite it not being mine, I think Cameron came off as very aggressive and negative and that's going to bite him in the ass I think. But I made jury so HALLELUJAH!! 3/3 in Jury! And also - it's day 100 for me!! AHH!!!

In reference to last round? "That vote was messy so I’m going to follow suit. It’s open season on everyone’s asses and I’m pissed off and ready to shoot" Thats how i felt after i read what happened and everyone almost omitted me from the vote. According to Will i was left out because i mentioned to emily earlier on in the day that people were throwing lily's name out there. Also i told people i wanted to do lily next round, so people thought i was not going to budge on it and did not bother telling me the vote. What disappointed me though was Ali not coming through and telling me. He really let me down and because of that he's pushed me away. I told him we're fine and that im not mad any more. I mean its true, I'm not mad anymore, IM PISSED!!! So if he can't trust me i can't trust him. I made a finals deal with Ashvika tonight, and told her about ali's idol and Cameron's idol. If loose lips are gonna sink ships i don't want to be aboard the ship, i want to be behind the canon gunning it down. Who says there aren't any pirates on survivor? lol But anyways ashvika and i also made a foursome alliance with zach and dana since we feel like they're a tight duo who are dependable. I really so like the group as people and they're people i've never played with before which makes it even more exciting! Do i want to go to the end with them? Absolutely not! but its a cute group to get through the next couple rounds. I do intend on going to the end with ashvika though. the only person thats been 100 with me the whole game. I do believe she's with me but i need to make sure my other bonds are strong because im not giving anyone the power to obliterate my game. i've learned and I'm finished making mistakes 

I always align with men and I hate myself

________________________________________________________________ This FINALLY uploaded. It's from the morning after we merged.

Hi moms I don't know how i'm voting tonight, which tbh, shouldn't be a shocker to yall. I'm a mess, but I haven't heard my name. Tbh send me on vacation to visit my girl Charlotte. But ideally i'd like to be 4th-5th juror because then i'll be more informed about the game so like let me meme around a little bit longer. Also this is my mood for today On 1/11/18, at 12:16 PM, Dana Barry wrote: > the girl im talking to: what are you up to today? > me: not being stressed out by tribal council in an org

This is really just my mood (see below) for this round because it's so clear Emily's trying to scramble by not really scrambling and if one of my alliance gets idoled out tonight i'm setting fire to the rain. Sorry that the game isn't going your way queen! I'm the Sarah Lacina and Brad Culpepper to your Sandra, Aubry, and Cirie and this is Game Changers xoxo Emily, 2:21 PM im not used to not knowing whats going on in a game afjsfkjasdklfas

Okay so I made a video confession and I’ll upload soon but... I’m excited about my new position in the game. I’m bouncing back, I think? I’ve been able to reestablish my relationships with Cameron, Will, Zach, and Ali and I am working on building on with Dana. I’m trying to get on the good side of Cameron & Co.™️ And I think it’s going well? Ali is talking to me and is very uneasy about Duncan. Rightfully so because Duncan is mad at Ali. I also am playing off the exposing-Ali-and-Duncan’s-idols-to-Owen thing off like Duncan was the one that could possibly leak it to Owen, since they’re close. And I think Ali believes it. Unless he already knows I told Owen and like? Idk. But Ali has also told me that he feels weird about Duncan because I am the one that he screwed over, and yet Duncan is the one upset. I’m not upset anymore and I’m moving on. Duncan is not happy. I am just sitting back, spreading subtle information, and getting people to target each other while I cuddle with my cats from afar. I’ve told Will and Cameron both that I am just here to take orders at this point. I don’t want to get in the way of anything. And I have opinions, I just want let them out until someone says them for me first. I’m trying to be agreeable, valuable, and calm this round. OTT Emily is no more. CP Emily is back, okay? She’s here to stay!!! I’m calm. I’m cool. I’m collected. I can do this.

I told people what I'm thinking today, which means pasta la vista 2 me. Idk i'm not even trying to lie to people but honestly i'm one of those people who is like so manipulative that sometimes I lie to myself and then get confused about what the truth is so wiggy. Does that happen to other people? I'm getting more crackedt by the minute. Who knows how i'm voting. I just want to vote Emily because she's being a problem and messy quen who sent my pms to everyone in the game to exploit me 4 being dumb and gullible. A funky strategy, like exploit me all u want but u probably arent winnin. Also weirdly Duncan thinks votes tonight are going to be on Emily anyway, so like now I can maybe make that happen. I'm a sneaky weasel with the power of a 50% functional brain behind me, aka a WINNER. Earlier today tho I was voting out Duncan though so blegh and also nobody wants to talk to me, which is good leave me alone. I just dont feel like getting voted out yet, sort of, and the other part of me is like bye world i could use some time in solitary confinement. Is that a mood for everyone or just me? I just sent the tribe chat a picture of Owen as a goat idk i like to laugh. This is a rant and she doesn't make sense can someone get jesus to talk to me because she is ignoring my pms too. Also I just signed out of skype so I can calm down and give myself a break from being as upsetting. Ok i'm going to stop writing now gn. 

https://youtu.be/5PdXIHGvMpk me talking 2 ppl pretending it's cool they left me in the dark anyways i love getting votes 3 tribals in a row. and APPARENTLY according to Cameron i might be receiving votes tonight. exciting! if you're gonna vote for me do it right and take me out you cowards all you're doing is making my skin break out. the alternate options are all from atalaia: ruthie and emily!!! whew!!

https://tmblrsurvivorextra.tumblr.com/post/169591129951

“Okay I did eenie meenie minie moe and it landed on ruthie so that’s how I’ll be voting” 

I made myself laugh with that one. If they ain’t going to make a decision, you decide for them

I truly am channeling my inner Eliza Orlins by being targeted so often. Whew! So turns out Cameron's a snake because Duncan gave me the receipts (well not any receipts actually but I'm trusting his word). APPARENTLY Cameron only told me Emily as a fake target because he was intending to vote for me. Snakes are gonna snake snake snake snake snake. Duncan and others are telling me Ruthie. Im supposed to believe that the tide is turning towards Ruthie but people here have a habit of spewing lies. Duncan just told me to act clueless and stuff or whatever if people approach me about the vote. I don't need to try to act clueless, because I don't know shit!

You would think that, being immune, I would feel safe, comfortable, happy. No I feel none of the above and I want to scream. I love Cameron but for some reason he won't take a breath and do the easy vote like dude...It doesn't need to be another big blindside or another big move. I'm worried that he's getting a little too confident and feels like he's the one in charge of the alliance, which is not cute at all. I don't want to be mad at him but I'm definitely frustrated, annoyed. My patience? She's being tested. I feel like I need to take a backseat on this one and just let whatever happens happen, because I'm in a good enough place with people that I can pick up the pieces if something horrible happens tonight. Cameron's hardcore overplaying and it's not a good look for him or our alliance if things start to get messy though.

I’m putting a lot of blind trust into Cameron but he’s the only one lending me enough rope to hold on to. I’m so nervous but I’m trying to stay sane this vote. I was expecting my name to come up tonight, but I wasn’t expecting it to come from Duncan, which is who I’ve been told brought my name up. I’m not playing a winner’s game right now. I’m so nervous and I don’t know how to fix it.

I love Owen sending me this big paragraph at merge, then telling Duncan I should go from the start of merge and saying how easily playable I am. I love Duncan who I trusted and told _everything_ targetting me for truly no reason, when I actually did attempt to clue him in on the vote. He just wasn't online. He is channelling his bitterness at not being in the loop at me, which is totally unfair. I love Emily who I thought I could trust telling everything about my idol to Owen. I went to her so many times trying to stress how much I valued her. I was the first person to clue her into the vote, I'm just sad. Obviously its just on a game level and I'll find it in my hort to forgive them, but Im so betrayed. So betrayed

I mean like is it really that bad to want to make a vote go 3-3-3-2? Is that really that ugly?

HECK OFF DUNCAN LITERALLY. I JUST WANT HIM TO CHOKE. it looks like we might vote Kevin? maybe? or split the vote? idk? this is? awful? help? please?

Why are Duncan and Owen blowing spoke at me with the efficiency of a chimney? I know Owen wants me to spill info to him and Duncan wants me out so what's up sjsjdkdkd God its so refreshing knowing that everyone is trying to play me hard

Will won immunity, I knew I wasnt gonna have the time to win this one so that's okay it does make me a bit worried but I dont think that like...it was necessarily beneficial to win it again so soon.

The main thing I'm grapplin with is that information spreads like fire! Emily tells me Ali and Duncan have idols, and that Duncan has a power that can remove him from the game for a round too. Huge yikes. So instantly that's on my mind. I knew Cameron knows about Ali's. I feel like maybe I've typed this before... But either way today I got on call with Will and basically gave him all of this information. And I've been forming a plan to get Duncan to dump an idol, if I tell him that I've been hearing his name! But Will suggested we just leak that Duncan might go to Ashvika.... Which gets messy for me bc if Duncan hears from Ashvika and not me, he won't trust me anymore. but then like...if I tell him I'm hearing his name and then.....nobody votes for him? he'll know why. BUT THEN ALSO LOL Cameron MESSAGES WILL ABOUT DUNCAN'S IDOL AND SUGGESTS DOING SOMETHING TO GET RID OF IT WHILE I'M STILL ON CALL WITH WILL. God this stresses me OUT. If Duncan doesn't waste his idol though it isn't the end of the world, because I do have a possibility of working with him. I just don't want him to idol Kevin. Speaking of, as soon as this round started I knew I wanted Kevin out. That breaks a connection that Duncan and potentially Cameron have, and gives me another round to get closer with Ali, Ruthie, Emily maybe. The call of four seemed good with Kevin, so does Emily, and I told Ruthie about it. Duncan is once again targeting Ruthie instead of Kevin so that's another thing to deal with. GOD. So rn it'll prob be like 8-3 or 4-7 or something but idk..... I want to believe Dana/Will/Cameron won't turn on me, but I can't tell myself I won't turn on them eventually idk. I have been talking to Ali and I think maybe I can sit at the end with him and Ruthie that would be SO GOOD lol. Or with Duncan maybe at the end. But Will, Dana, and Cameron are big risks. I just don't want to fuck them over....ugh. They're prob gonna wanna take me out. This is me 24/7. But I still love all of them rn too. Wow this game is F U N. Idk what I'm gonna do in general or tonight or with Duncan but I'm sure it'll be fun at some point.

I'm so confused by Duncan. I called him at the swap and told him EVERYTHING. I poured my heart and soul out to him. I said I trusted him all the way and I meant it. Now when he doesn't get clued in on a vote (which is his fault for not messaging me back) he is throwing the baby out with the bath water and just wants me out? Like he said this big thing about how it "hurt him when his number one left him out" which I didn't do, but that's so hypocritical when he now wants me out. I'm trying to not be too like too bitter because I love Duncan but come on.

Why aren’t there manipulatable straight boys in this game. This is unfair. Who am I supposed to flirt with and get them to take me to the end???? What the fuck

can u hear my eyes rolling cause they are

aliI'm about to be idoled out may I rest in peace

[1/11/18, 9:35:17 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): if I tell u to change the vote last minute do you PROMISE not to tell ANYONE [1/11/18, 9:35:24 PM] Emily: yes [1/11/18, 9:35:33 PM] Emily: give me enough time to make my parchment [1/11/18, 9:35:43 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): How much time is that? 5? ten? [1/11/18, 9:35:46 PM] Emily: please don’t have me throw my vote tho [1/11/18, 9:35:49 PM] Emily: ten? [1/11/18, 9:35:53 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): Ok cool [1/11/18, 9:35:58 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): i won’t have you throw your vote I just [1/11/18, 9:36:05 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): I don’t want someone to find out [1/11/18, 9:36:06 PM] Emily: okay [1/11/18, 9:36:11 PM] Emily: I won’t my lips are sealed [1/11/18, 9:36:20 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): this is me sneakily trying to keep u in the loop [1/11/18, 9:38:25 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): Some ppl just don’t trust you and I want u to know I trust you but idk if its changing yet [1/11/18, 9:38:42 PM] Emily: will this show them im trustworthy? [1/11/18, 9:38:46 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): i think so [1/11/18, 9:38:50 PM] Emily: okay [1/11/18, 9:39:07 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): I love you just pls dont tell ANYONE [1/11/18, 9:39:15 PM] Emily: im not telling anyone [1/11/18, 9:47:21 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): You PROMISE you vote how I say [1/11/18, 9:47:27 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): and you don’t tell ANYONE [1/11/18, 9:47:31 PM] Emily: yes [1/11/18, 9:47:42 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): my allies don’t want me to tell u bc they think you’ll tell owen so its imperitive you don’t okay [1/11/18, 9:47:50 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): im putting my life on the line with you [1/11/18, 9:47:51 PM] Emily: okay [1/11/18, 9:47:56 PM] Emily: i won’t Cameron [1/11/18, 9:48:13 PM] Emily: am i voting owen? [1/11/18, 9:48:29 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): no [1/11/18, 9:48:30 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): You’re not [1/11/18, 9:48:45 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): You’re voting for duncan unless you want to keep it on Kevin in case duncan plays his idol [1/11/18, 9:48:47 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): its up to you [1/11/18, 9:49:23 PM] Emily: okay ill vote duncan [1/11/18, 9:49:42 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): okay just PLEASE don’t tell anyone I told you to vote duncan [1/11/18, 9:49:47 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): IM BEGGING [1/11/18, 9:49:51 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): IT WILL GET ME MRUDERED HBEFJNDMS [1/11/18, 9:50:25 PM] Emily: i voted [1/11/18, 9:50:38 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): pls dont fuck me over emiyl [1/11/18, 9:50:45 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): This is me proving that I trust you and I want to work with you [1/11/18, 9:50:56 PM] Emily: am i supposed to pretend i dont know after the vote is over? [1/11/18, 9:52:27 PM] Emily: thank you so much for clueing me in Cameron i really appreciate it [1/11/18, 9:52:49 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): I love you [1/11/18, 9:52:59 PM] Emily: i love you too [1/11/18, 9:53:40 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): And yes pls pretend This is my reasoning for voting for Duncan. I'm doing what it's taking to keep me in the game. I'm putting my trust in Cameron and I'm not sure if I'm making the smartest decision or not, but I'm doing it.

This was way too chaotic and shows that our four is way less stable than I thought we were. Like this could have been so easy but no everyone had to fREAK THE FUCK OUT like I'm so sorry and I'm so gonna regret saying this in a confessional but I legitimately don't care if Cameron Ali Dana whoever think they're the target of an idol. It does not matter who the target is. We needed to put a vote on Kevin if we were gonna bring Zach in but there was too much fucking chaos in our mess of a 4 person alliance to understand that. Nobody listens to me and it's clear now, especially Cameron. He thinks he's running this game but he's running himself into the ground. I'm sorry but it's just too much.

If Duncan stands with an idol i'm self-evicting into the sun. 

Duncan becomes the 10th person voted out of Athena All Stars, and the 2nd member of our jury. You can see Duncan’s preseason interview here.

[thedragonsteaparty]

I wrote a post about Overwatch the other day (when I say the other day I mean 2 weeks ago, oops, time flies when you’re addicted to Overwatch, bear with me it comes up a lot in this post too) and how I’ve been playing as Mei, Tracer, and (as a relatively new addition) Mercy most frequently. Thinking back to when I wrote that post I felt kind of guilty because I realised that I hadn’t mentioned any male characters, or even actually tried any myself yet and I’m supposed to be a gaming blogger! When I first started the game, and went to pick my hero I immediately looked at all the female heroes first, I did look at the male heroes but very briefly. I’ll do this in other games too, I will very rarely play as a male character when I have the choice and if I do it will be because I have completed the game as a female character and want to see if there are any subtle differences in playing a male character (this is usually in RPGs like Dragon Age and Neverwinter Nights where relationships with other characters can be affected subtlety by this).

I don’t know why I do this, I’ve thought of a few potential reasons and if you tend to always choose the same gender in video games (men too!) as well then I’d love to hear if any of my thoughts below resonate with you or if you have any thoughts of your own about it. Let me know in the comments!

Let me just say first of all that I have no problem at all playing as a male character, I play a male protagonist by default in most of the games I play: Legend of Zelda, Far Cry, Bioshock, God of War, Doom, The Witcher, Dying Light, Shadow of Mordor, the vast majority of Final Fantasy games… to name just a few, and I love those games! (OK so I’m struggling a little with Final Fantasy, playing as Tidus Daddy Issues McLeatherLeherhosen really drained me of JRPG enjoyment and I need to reset a little before I attempt another.) So maybe the reason I always choose a woman when I have the choice is because I’m sick of playing as a guy and when I can be a woman I leap at the chance? As annoying as it is to have to say this in the year 2017 it does feel refreshing to have a female protagonist sometimes.

On the other hand, maybe the answer is simple and it’s just that I am a woman, therefore I identify more with female protagonists so I enjoy playing as them more. Even if they don’t talk and I’m just identifying with them aesthetically. When I was playing Portal I didn’t really think about what gender my character was, they don’t make reference to it and I just assumed I was a floating gun, it was only when I saw Chell’s reflection (well not a reflection, herself through a portal… Can’t be bothered to try and explain but you know what I mean hopefully) that not only did I have a body but the body belonged to a woman! Just knowing that kind of shifted my attitude towards the game from what had already been incredibly positive to ‘Hell yeah, this game is incredible’.

Moving onto my more feministy part of this post, I can remember numerous times throughout my life where I’ve been at someone’s house and they’ve had a multiplayer game on, usually one that I haven’t played before (Injustice, FIFA and WWF spring to mind here) and they’ve asked if I want to play against them. I would always go with a female character because like I said before, I like playing as a woman, but more often than not I would lose. This was partly because I hadn’t played the games before so was not used to them and partly because I find that female characters in fighting/sporty games are usually underpowered, or they used to be anyway, this is a while ago that I’m talking about so I’m not sure about nowadays. My choice of character before the game even began though would usually be remarked on with a comment along the lines of “oh you don’t want to be them, they’re terrible”, I can remember someone laughing because I chose the female football team in FIFA (it may not have been FIFA it might have been a different football game, I don’t remember but I don’t know any other football games off the top of my head) once to play against them, they told me they were a terrible team and I asked why, were the stats different? What was it that made them bad? Had they tried to play them before? Did they actually do very badly IRL and that was reflected in the way they were played in the game? The answer I got was simply “they’re just shit”, that made me more determined to beat them and prove that the female team were not worthless. Unfortunately, having never played FIFA before and understanding nothing about the rules of football I lost anyway. Whether the female team genuinely was terrible in the game due to their given stats or if the person I asked just didn’t know because they’d never tried to play as them I don’t know. This sort of thing has happened a lot though over the years with those sorts of games and it always fuels my feminist side, makes me want to shout GIRL POWER and obliterate my opponent with the girliest character I can find. So, thinking about it like that maybe the reason I always pick a woman is a subconscious, feminist fuelled, girl power stance?

Came across this delightful piece of bullshit as I was trying to find pictures of female FIFA players https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C05irL2Q2pY. Apparently they just look like men in the game anyway because of the graphics so they may as well just not have women in the game at all. Idiot. It’s a huge step forward for women’s football which has far less viewers than men’s football despite them working so hard and having some brilliant players, it will make the game more accessible to women and you know what? If you don’t want to play as the female team then don’t play as the female team!!! I don’t even like football but I have a huge respect for female players… I won’t get into that now though. See this is why I have female character pride!!!

Following on from the ‘girliest character I can find’ comment above, I am very girly IRL and if there is a video game character that is wearing a pair of kick ass, neon pink heels, or a dress, or if they just look super girly  then I will go for that character (the only reason I haven’t played D.VA in Overwatch yet is because I don’t like playing as a tank but I really like her and would say she’s one of the girliest Overwatch characters). Women in video games are usually very pretty but this often means that they are also sexualised. When I was trying to find an image of Tracer from Overwatch to use on my blog some of the first pictures were just fan art of her arse, for example. Often this means that people tend to trivialise female characters (not to say Overwatch has trivialised Tracer, far from it, everyone in that game is well balanced, as it should be! Last time I mention Overwatch today, I promise!) they’re the eye candy not the character you play if you’re playing to win and, like in my previous point, that is another aspect that would make me determined to say “No, this girl is awesome and I will prove it to you. Just because she’s wearing mini shorts and a bikini top doesn’t mean she can’t kick ass”. I don’t have a problem with sexy looking characters though unless they fall into one of the following categories:

1. The ‘every woman in this game is hot’ games

Dead or Alive, fighting game turned volleyball tournament… Somehow

2. The character who is wearing something super skimpy/revealing and they are obviously meant to be the eye candy but their personality or culture just doesn’t go with it

Kimono/maxi skirt to hot pants and crop top… Bit of a jump

3. Skimpily dressed characters that are in a war/space/apocalypse/zombie/etc setting and they are in a chainmail bikini or something that would just make it impossible for them to survive in that environment dressed in that way

It’s truly incredible that she is able to fight monsters on a daily basis and survive wearing this. Not going to lie, really like those boots though

If a character looks sexy but there is a personality behind it then I think that’s fine, I don’t like to make judgements on anyone’s personality or skills based on what their gender is or what they’re wearing – be they real people or people in a video game – and if they are a bit slutty then that’s OK! Each to their own! When you’re playing as them in a game though that shouldn’t be the core aspect of their personality. I have been told that I have been brainwashed to think that it’s OK to have slutty looking characters (that was an interesting conversation) but I like to think that I am just open to everyone being able to look the way they want and that your abilities should not be judged on if you chose to wear a mini skirt or a pair of jeans today, maybe that’s just what I’ve been told to think though… Will I wake up soon from the fake feminist Matrix controlled by the Anti-woman corporation and escape into the real world? Tune in next time to find out.

  I got a little side tracked there with my rant at the end but there you go. My reasoning for not playing male characters. Let me know in the comments which gender you usually go with, is it your own? Do you mix it up? Do you play as the opposite gender? Do you think that it even affects your choice at all? I’m very interested to know if this is just me or if it’s something that everyone does to an extent.

Gaming Like a Girl I wrote a post about Overwatch the other day (when I say the other day I mean 2 weeks ago, oops, time flies when you're addicted to Overwatch, bear with me it comes up a lot in this post too) and how I’ve been playing as Mei, Tracer, and (as a relatively new addition) Mercy most frequently.

[theliterateape]

Unpacking Branson: A Thanksgiving Improbability

By Don Hall

For Thanksgiving in 2012, I was single and Mom decided that I should come out to my step-sister's place in Branson, Missouri for a good old-fashioned country Thanksgiving. The carrot was family. The stick was Missouri.

In the late 1960s it was pretty much a tiny city in the Ozarks known for roadside stands peddling wares that proliferated the hillbilly stereotype. And, sure enough, there are still today roadside stands that exist only to continue to make fun of that stereotype. It's an odd thing to walk into a business in the middle of the Ozarks that sells you the stereotype it tries to escape from. Like buying a taxi cab medallion from an East Indian store or an "I'm a Wetback" t-shirt in a store that sells Mexican merchandise.

It is said you cannot judge a book by its cover.

This is true most of the time, but there are some things you can judge immediately by its cover and pretty much know what your getting.

An Ann Coulter book. Sean Hannity. A FOX News broadcast. Great America. Applebee's.

I assumed that Branson, Missouri would fall into this latter category. I was right and wrong. And the complexities made it a real trip to remember.

Branson is where the Beverly Hillbillies came from before moving to California.

A winding series of roads littered with signs and theaters and restaurants. Lots of bumper stickers that declare "I'd Rather Be Dead Than SOCIALIST" and random tributes to past GOP glory. In the three days we trucked around the city, I counted perhaps one hundred people of color the entire time—I didn't start the trip by calculating this but after a bit, it was hard to escape. Thousands of old white people with canes and wheelchairs abounded but that doesn't really look that much different than Navy Pier or the audience at Chicago Shakes—old white people like to be tourists and Branson is, after all, a haven of tourism.

My step-sister, Hannah, tells me that the crack business booms among the residents of Branson and there is evidence around if you're looking for it. The place is slightly schizophrenic in its place as a home to rednecks and hillbillies while trying desperately to distance itself from that by appealing to the tourist trade. There are places that stink of what one expects in Ozarks—a biker bar called the Hawg Trough that even my pro-GOP brother-in-law avoids and a Smoke Shop that doesn't sell cigarettes and has a pit bull guarding the door. But there are surprises that popped up during my three-day Thanksgiving vacation that defied my pre-judged expectations.

The surprises came in weird ways. When I arrived, we ate at a place called the Rowdy Beaver—a place with t-shirts that trumpeted "I Like Bald Beaver" and "That's A Mighty Nice Beaver" and had washboard walls. The thing that surprised was that the food was out of this world. It was delicious and well prepared and not at all what I expected. "Our chef prepares everything from fresh ingredients," trumpeted our waitress who seemed completely fine with her job at a place filled with such juvenile innuendo.

The Hollywood Wax Museum was fun but the wax figures left me a bit wanting—a frequent refrain of our visit was my niece saying "Who's that?" and me doing my best to figure it out. I tried to convince my family to go to Silver Dollar City so I could find and steal a urinal cake but it was $60 per person and even I couldn't argue that $300 was reasonable for me to complete a toilet cookie tale. We had tickets to a magic show billed as the World's Largest (by the way, every attraction in Branson is billed as "Show of the Year," "The Most Amazing in the World," and "Mindblowing") but the show was cancelled due to illness. Turns out Kirby VanBurch's greatest trick is to take your money and disappear.

Our replacement show for the afternoon was going to be either Jim Stafford (I desperately wanted to see this) or SIX (the nieces had heard it was awesome). Stafford only did an 8 p.m. show, so SIX at the Mickey Gilley Theater it was.

SIX is six middle-aged brothers who debuted on the Donnie and Marie Show and have fashioned themselves as sort of an older version of an a cappella boy band. As soon as they started with a cheeseball version of Don't Stop Believin', Hannah and I turned to each other with a look of pained resignation. These guys had pretty good voices and the arrangements were fine but the self-consciously hip pose and cornball attempts at cool banter was unbearable. I learned that wanting to see an awful Branson show and actually sitting through one are two different things. I also learned that I will never, as a middle-aged white guy, ever use the words "homie" or "peeps" ever again. To be fair, the second act was better—a selection of Christmas songs and a tribute to their dead mother. Apparently this tiny woman had ten children, all boys, and I suspect she isn't dead but just got the fuck out of there before having to bear an eleventh kid. But the damage of the first act left me scarred and a little terrified of that evening's show—Legends at the Dick Clark American Bandstand Theater.

Legends is a show that debuted in Vegas and moved to Branson. It is a rotating cast of celebrity impersonators ranging from Barry White, Marilynn Monroe and Tim McGraw to the staples of Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson. Our bill was George Strait, Whitney Houston, the Blues Brothers, Liberace and Elvis. As we entered and sat down, once again surrounded by octogenarians, I steeled myself. This was going to be fucking awful.

And it wasn't.

Really. In fact, it was a blast. The Whitney Houston knocked it out of the park, Liberace was funny but completely inappropriate in a callback to the dark days of The Gay Closet and the Elvis impersonator was so fucking good, if we had been sitting in the nose bleeds it would've been like actually seeing Elvis live. My mom, a huge Elvis fan from when he was alive, commented that he was the best Elvis impersonator she had ever seen. Hell, even my teenaged nieces enjoyed the show.

But we saved the best, most Branson-y show for Saturday. Yakov Smirnoff. Holy shit. I couldn't wait. I was absolutely certain it would embody everything I expected Branson to be—cheesy, cloying, the very portrait of a has-been celebrity stretching out his 15 minutes of fame as paper thin as he could in the heart of the Vegas of the Ozarks. We were greeted by a giant Yakov head making awful jokes about... the size of his head! Inside, it turned out that Yakov was a painter and had his paintings for sale!

The beginning of the show was the longest version of the national anthem I've ever heard (who know there were, like, nine verses?) and then I was hit with another fucking surprise. On the video screens came an old Paul Harvey "The Rest of the Story" about a painter known as Jacob who painted and commissioned a painting in tribute to the fallen at Ground Zero in NYC following the Attacks of 9/11.  Painted on the side of a building overlooking the rubble, it was the backdrop to the first anniversary of the attacks. The painter was an anonymous Yakov Smirnoff. He paid for the commission out of his own pocket.

Some of his show was what I expected: a revisitation of his "What a Country!" schtick from the '80s—a sketch of him as the president answering questions from the audience, and he actually quoted the Lee Greenwood God Bless the U.S.A. as a closer. But other parts were not at all what I anticipated. Turns out that Yakov went out and got a Master's Degree in psychology and decided that his show could also serve as a relationship counseling session as well. Sort of like Defending the Caveman meets a less arrogant Dr. Phill with the takeaway being that we begin relationships laughing and giving each other little gifts and that, if we simply return to giving each other gifts and finding laughter in our relationships, we'll be happier, healthier people.

Was it a great show? Not really. The dancers were cheesy and only there to fill time, the jokes were funny in a "Yeah, I remember that one" sort of way, the political stuff was tame (although at one point, Yakov asked the audience who was happy with the results of the latest election—a smattering of applause that included my mother and I enthusiastically cheering—and who was ticked off by it—a thundering, slightly ugly ovation—with the Russian comic commenting "Yeah, that's about even...") and the recurring pro-America stuff was hard to hear after a while. But the thing is... I liked him.

I mean, I really liked the guy. He was so overwhelmingly sincere and genuine. Christ, I wanted to hug him. And, while his show is corny and inoffensive and gentle and perfect for the Branson tourist crowd, this is a guy who lives in Branson, Missouri suggesting that people spend time laughing and loving one another instead of being shitbags.

Prejudice is a funny thing. Judging books by their covers is what we do as people. I imagine it's a hard drive instinct. But, as I am often heard saying, while we are all unique and precious snowflakes and each of us is completely distinct, we are all made of fucking snow. We all are simply people trying our best to get along in the world. Yes, that means that our baser, uglier instincts come to play like ordinary people rioting in a Walmart on Black Friday to get a discount on a portable DVD player. It also means that our better, more generous nature comes into play, and sometimes it's nice to be reminded that even in Red State Hell, Yakov Smirnoff is telling thousands of people every week to just be fucking nicer to each other.

On Thanksgiving, the point is to be with friends or family and celebrate those things in our lives we are (or should be) thankful for. Sure, the holiday is laden with cultural markers that include the genocide of the Native Americans and our national quest to bequeath every American with diabetes but the point is gratitude. Gratitude can come from a lot of places and I’m thankful to remember the lessons I learned in Branson.