#generally a food that sits well w/ me no matter what AND it just has a lot of foods around

[iluvmattsbeard]

this isn’t me (m.s)

master list

matt sturniolo x reader

(BIG TRIGGER WARNING! ⚠️)

warnings: slight gore/strong language/mentions blood/death/throw up

preview: Matt has recently started changing. the way he looks, the way he acts, and his demeanor in general. you slowly notice how distant he’s become. you were worried, a long with his brothers, so you all see what he's been up to. the scene left you, Chris, and Nick in shock.

a/n: this type of writing is different for me so i hope it lives up to your guys liking! likes and reblogs are appreciated!

it was a foggy morning in Boston. you were waiting at a post lamp for your best friend, Matt. you both walked to school together every morning ever since he asked to join you a few years back. now, you guys were attached to the hip. you had your hands in your pocket keeping them warm. you let out a breath which caused air to be visible in front of your face. that's how cold it was. you were starting to wonder what took Matt so long.

eventually you gave up waiting and texted him saying you'll just meet him there. you then headed over to the dreadful place. once you got to your first class. you noticed Chris and Nick were at their seats but, Matt was no where to be seen. you sat at your seat as you looked at Nick, "where is he?" you asked putting your back pack down. all he did was give you a confused face, "Matt? I thought he was with you?" he asks. you ended up giving him the same confused look. "what do you mean?" "I saw him head out before us. I assumed he was already going to meet up with you." Chris adds on. you turn your head towards him, "well I never saw him." you let out still confused.

you picked up your phone checking to see if Matt responded to your text. nothing. the text wasn't even seen.

Y/N

Matt what are you up to? Chris and Nick said they saw you head out to meet me. where are you?

"maybe he's just ditching?" Chris says. "you know that's not like-" your voice trails off when you see Matt walk into class. "you’re late Matthew." you hear the teacher say. "do you have a tardy slip?" all Matt does is shake his head and walk over to his seat right next to you. "why are you late?" you whisper to him. "It was nice out. I took the long way." he says avoiding eye contact. that's unlike him. plus, you didn't even know there was a long way.

the whole day at school, Matt was quiet. which he usually is but today? not a single word at all. even at lunch, he just sat there not even touching his food. "Matt eat your lunch." Nick says. "not hungry." Matt responds with a tone that was different. you, Nick, and Chris just look at each other. "okay then?" Nick responds quietly. "more for me." Chris says taking the hamburger off Matt's tray before eating it. you and Nick just let out a small laugh.

at the end of the day, you followed behind Matt as you spoke, "what happened?" all Matt did was stay quiet as he walks. "Matt are you listening?" you add on. he still just continues walking. you step in front of him as you look at his face. it seemed different. his skin looked more pale, his eyes were tired, and they were dark. "what's the matter with you?" he just stares into your eyes with a blank face. nothing came out of his mouth except for one word, "move." walking past you. you just stood there in shock. what is his problem?

later at home, you receive a text.

Matt

i'm sorry for acting the way I did earlier. it's complicated.

you sigh texting back.

Y/N

can you talk to me about it?

Matt

not yet.

it's too much.

your face turns into confusion before texting back. what does that even mean?

Y/N

can you just tell me?

you text but soon after you were left on read.

meanwhile at the triplets house, Matt was sitting at the kitchen table quietly. "Matt you haven't eaten all day. you need to eat something." Marylou says sliding the plate in front of him. Nick and Chris look at him as Matt just stays still with the same blank face from earlier. "Mom it's not going to work. he's been quiet all day. he didn't even meet with Y/n this morning. he was late to class." Nick says. "what?" Marylou says looking back at Matt. "what is up with you sweetheart?" she says with a worried look. Matt just gets up and walks out the house. "Matt!" Marylou shouts but it was already too late.

Nick

something is wrong with Matt. it's starting to worry us. has he told you anything yet?

you look at the text with a saddened expression before texting back.

Y/N

he texted me earlier apologizing but that was all. I'm currently left on read.

Nick

well he just walked out the house not too long ago.

you and Nick text all night, discussing what could possibly be wrong with Matt before heading to bed.

later that night, Matt arrives home, rushing to his bathroom. he was breathing heavily as he panicked washing his hands. "Matt?" Nick knocks on the door. Matt stopped in his place as he slowly looks up at himself in the mirror with his dark eyes. he had blood smeared across his mouth as he snaps back to reality. "what the fuck." Matt whispers to himself before hurrying to wash his face. "Matt! can we talk!" Nick yells from the other side of the door. "hold on!" Matt responds cleaning off the remaining blood that was smeared on the sink before opening the door. "where were you all night? all of us, including Y/n, are worried." Nick says, trying to read his face. "I was just trying to clear my head." Matt says. "well can you let us know what's wrong? you're acting so strange." Nick says with a somber look. he really wanted to figure out what was eating up his brother. if only he knew the truth. it would freak him out. so Matt stayed quiet, walking past him, straight to his room closing the door and locking it.

Nick just lets out a sigh as he does the same. The next day, Matt didn't show up to school at all. "he's not answering his phone." Chris says putting his phone done on the lunch table.

Matt's POV

it's been a few days since the unthinkable happened to me. it was late one night when I rushed to the bathroom throwing up an unusual amount into the toilet. I felt like I was releasing my whole insides. by the time I was done, I woke up confused on the bathroom floor. I felt something different within me. I couldn't comprehend all of of this. I started to ignore everyone. not because I wanted to, but because I needed to protect them from what i've been doing. who knows what could potentially happen next. I don't need the people I love to be in between, especially Y/n. it's been so hard staying away from her, but I have to.

i let out a breath as I drop the shovel onto the ground. I can't believe this is happening to me. I thought this type of shit only happened in movies or TV shows. i take off my gloves as I throw them into a trash can near by. I throw my hood over my head as I head home skipping school. I have to wash myself up.

End of Matt's POV

Y/N

please Matt. whatever you’re going through, I don't want you to feel like you're alone. I miss you. text me when you have the chance.

you sat anxiously waiting for a response. "he's not going to respond." you say biting your lip softly. "then lets find out what's wrong with him." Nick says looking at both you and Chris. "how?" You respond. "we follow him. he's been heading out with no explanation. let's see what he's been up to." Nick says. you and Chris look at each other and nod. "let's do it." You reply.

You, Chris, and Nick create a group chat where you've been coming up with plans to spy on Matt. you guys wanted to time it perfectly. a plan was made for the next few days. You will sleep over at their house, in Nick's room, without Matt finding out. Chris will slip an air tag into Matt's jacket so you guys can keep track of where he goes.

Nick

alright. we have a plan. come over Friday night.

Y/N

got it. see you guys then.

Chris

see you.

when Friday hits, you pack your clothes into a small backpack as you sigh. "I really hope this works." you whisper to yourself before throwing it on your shoulder. you head down the stairs and slide on your shoes as you head out the door. eventually, you arrive at their house. walking to the back door so Matt doesn't see you.

Y/N

outside.

you text as you wait for someone to let you in. Chris opens the door and greets you. "Matt is in the bathroom so we have to be quiet heading upstairs." he says whispering. you nod and head upstairs quietly. Chris and You both head into Nick's room, shutting the door locking it. "Chris just placed the air tag in Matt's jacket. so all we have to do now is wait till he leaves." Nick says sitting down on his bed. you nod and you three talk, killing time until it hits 10 p.m. "does he usually head out later?" you say with a yawn. "it'll be anytime now." Nick responds looking at the time. he was right. you three hear a door open, indicating Matt getting out of his room. you hear slight foot steps going down the stairs, hearing the front door open and shut.

Chris pulls out his phone as he watches the little dot on his screen move. You get up and throw on a hoodie as you watch the little dot as well. after a bit, the dot stops moving. Nick's eyes widen, "that can't be right..." Chris whispers. "Abandoned house on Imperial Street." you whisper. you three look at each other and don't hesitate getting up before heading out the door.

"why would he be here?" you ask whispering. "I don't know." Nick responds as you three walk up to the worn down house. you look at the two of them and gulp, "what if we see something we shouldn't?" you ask. "we have no choice. we need to know what he's been hiding." Nick adds on. you look at the broken door and let out a breath. "come on." Chris says as you and Nick follow behind quietly. your heart was racing. what could he be possibly doing? as soon as you head inside, you couldn't help but shudder. it was cold and you knew something wasn't right. Chris looks at his phone as he follows where the dot is.

which it lead you three to a horrifying sight in the broke down kitchen. before you let out a sound, Chris covers your mouth and pulls you to the side. Nick follows as he hits his back against the wall with his face in shock. "w-what was that?" Nick whispers. your heart was now pounding out of your chest as you replay what you saw in your head. Matt was leaned over a limp body that was clearly torn open. you could hear the noises come from his mouth around the corner. was he actually indulging someone’s insides right now? you thought to yourself as you felt your stomach twist in a knot. “h-how is that even possible?” you whisper shakily. “what do we do?” Nick says clutching his chest, breathing unsteadily. “what could we even do Nick? this is fucking terrifying.” Chris responds. “no shit! but that’s our brother! what do we do?” Nick responds quietly freaking out.

"we need to get out of here." Chris whispers. Nick agrees as he walks with Chris towards the door. Chris looks at you indicating for you to follow but you just stay frozen. "come on" he mouths. but the two brothers then rush out when a noise from the air tag plays in Matt's jacket.

you peek your head around the corner as you watch Matt stop what he's doing to reach into his pocket, pulling out the small device. he shoots his head up as he looks around. "fuck." he mutters out. he stands up and looks at the body on the ground. you let out a small gasp as you get a clearer view of the person. Matt then locks eyes with you as he speaks, "who's there?" you step out slowly as you gulp, standing there in shock. you see his eyes soften as he stares at you. "Y-Y/n... what are you doing here?" he stutters out. all you do is look down at the body again shaking. "Y/n please listen to me." he says stepping closer to you but he stops when he sees you back away terrified. you clutch onto your stomach as tears roll down your eyes, "w-what is this?" you say as your breath hitches. "It's not what it looks like-" he says but you interrupt him. "t-to me it looks as clear as day. y-you were just fucking eating some innocent person's insides."

all he does is shake his head before responding, "y/n, you know I would never do something like this." "then what is this?!" you shout in fear. "I-i don't know!" Matt shouts back. "I don't know what made me like this. it's scaring me Y/n. I kept myself distant because I know how this looks. it's unbelievable." he continues. "I know your scared. but this isn't me Y/n. you know this." he says but suddenly hold his head in pain. "fuck!" he yells out. "Y/n please..." he weakly mutters. your heart aches at his voice. he was right. you knew he would never do this. you could tell he didn't want any of this to happen.

"I need help y/n." he says with a sadden expression. you look around on the floor, stepping into a puddle of blood. "please help me." he whispers desperately. you look up at him and gulp. "this is bad…" you whisper. “i know! but i can’t function without doing this. i can’t eat real food.” he says wiping his mouth. your eyes are still on the deceased person. still trying to wrap your head around it. “who even is this Matt?” you say before gulping. “i-i don’t know. that’s the thing. i don’t even realize i’m doing all this until last minute. so i don’t know any of the people.” he replies. “please y/n just help me.” he adds on. you look at him as you give him a blank stare. “tell me what to do…” you whisper.

you couldn’t just let him deal with all of this alone. you needed to find out more. he nods and next thing you know, you were helping him drag a big trash bag into the back yard of the abandoned house.

Chris

Y/n?! are you okay?!

"fuck Nick she's not responding!" Chris says freaking out. "Chris calm down! Matt would never hurt her." Nick says reassuring his shaking brother. “that was not Matt!” Chris exclaims. “that was some type of creature. that wasn’t our brother.” Nick shakes his head before responding, “no matter what he turned to, he’s still our brother!” Chris looks at him as he stops pacing around, “if someone catches him, people might mistake us for him.” Chris says. Nick’s face drops as he thinks about it. “you’re right…” he replies.

the bag hits the dirt with a thud. you stand there quietly as you watch Matt handle this situation. you flinch when you hear the shovel hit the ground. "don't tell anyone Y/n." Matt says looking at you with a look you remembered. you just stand there still in shock with a blank expression. "come on lets go home." Matt says taking your hand softly as he walks the both of you out. when you look down at your shoes, you notice how dirty they were from helping and the fresh red stains. you look up straight ahead as you ask a question in your mind, "what did i just get myself into?"

when you arrive at his house, Chris and Nick right away jump at the sight. you and Matt were hand in hand with your clothes dirty and bloodied. you gulp as you let go of Matt’s hand. “i need a shower.” you whisper out, walking past the two boys and straight to the bathroom. Chris and Nick’s eyes stare at Matt nervously. “so you saw?” Matt says not breaking eye contact. all the boys could do was stare at him and nod hesitantly. Matt was about to speak but, he decided to just head straight to his room, leaving the brothers with unanswered questions.

a/n: this is different from my usual stuff. let me know if you guys enjoyed reading!

[unlovablelover]

is it okay to ask for a gn reader w a specific body type? i'm sorry if it's against your rules, i may have forgotten.. i got that fog in me.

i wanna request a reader, who is very skinny.. like.. where are your organs babe. their organs are there, they're just built like that for some reason. just some general headcans of Mr. Crawling's, Mr. Silvair's and Mr. Gap's reactions to finding that out.

(do you think Mr. Gap could appear in-between their thigh gap when they're sitting down?)

i hope you're doing well! also, happy early christmas :3

ans: hello, thanks for asking. u're good to go, don't worry. the only rule i have is i won't be writing nsfw no matter what, not even a little bit. im js not interested - sorry in advance for anyone who wants those kinda stuff :{

this was fun. i made the reader have something like an almost skeletal form...is that fine? anyway let's get started, shall we?

SKINNY READER

Homicipher men: Crawling, Silvair, Gap

Part1(?)

(i was reminded of Skinny by rebzyyx when i saw this request, haha)

Mr. Crawling

-when you first appeared in the building, he was very surprised to see you

-you looked so small, frail and possibly weak (not)

-his first thought is definitely him thinking you're weak but not in the degrading way, just his assumption

-because of that, he's determined to help you, he thinks you're in need of protection and possibly some food

-cmon, he'll definitely try to feed you things, i think he'll think you've been starved

-might take him a while to fully accept that you're js built like that

-i think what'll make him accept is if he saw you fighting off a monster w ease, he is shocked, but not surprised, at least he doesn't have to worry about you getting hurt by others since you've shown him you're perfectly capable of protecting yourself

-when it's time to relax in bed after a long day of walking around, he'll definitely take his time to observe your body more closely (not in a perverted way, he's a gentleman!)

-might trace his fingers on parts of your body, maybe your arms, your hands

-might compare the difference with his

-i think he'll feel "ehehehe'" about it for some reason

-definitely appreciates the way your slender fingers run through his loooooong hair

-will be careful if he gets on the bed with you tho

-he's afraid he's gonna crush you if he makes one wrong move

-avoids being on your arms because he thinks he'll snap them in half

-yes, he still has doubts about how strong you (or i think your bones) are

Mr. Silvair

-not a hint of surprise at the first sight of you

-just a mild sense of curiosity

-i don't think he'll really care about your wellbeing unless you're injured with an open wound, i think he only cares for those who r close/spent some time w him

-definitely wants to know how you're so skinny

-his theories are up and going

-maybe you're starved? maybe you have an illness? can it be cured? can he cure it?

-cue his creepy smile at the thought of experimenting

-not hesitant to ask you directly about it

-will be disappointed to know you're just built like that and there's nothing to solve or cure

-i think he'll take your measurements and stuff to see just how small/skinny you are compared to the average human

-in the name of science, he'll try to find a way to see your body under your shirt (again, not sexually - i don't think they need/crave sex...sorry?)

-wants to see the way your ribs are visible as they bulge against your skin, or the deep dip of your stomach

-revels at the sight, so intriguing....

-how easy it would be to chop you up, right?

-might secretly wait for you to get injured so he can have an excuse to chop a part of your body off

-js so he can see how much faster it takes u to heal

Mr. Gap

-i don't think he reacts/cares much about your appearance

-all he sees is someone to demand things from

-although i think he'd be surprised by how easy it is to take your (reluctantly offered) arm/leg/finger

-just like snapping a stick

-might ask a couple of questions after y'all get to know each other for a bit, but his curiosity isn't as much as mr silvair's

-i think he just doesn't care, not in a bad way tho

-js think of it as him seeing past appearances and only caring for what's inside (which is your heart)

-can he appear in the thigh gap?

-it's in his name, if there's a gap then there's mr gap

-i don't think he realizes the gaps he inhabits tho

-not that he cares, i think he's pretty carefree like that

-so whenever u want to see him, js sit down and wait for him to appear

-so convenient!

[bluesest]

could you do a diarrhea story in a cinema?

A Cinema

Drake has always liked the art of cinema for as long as he can remember, he always observed how it was evolving creating new genres, some strong and others weak, but no matter what, he enjoyed the magic and experience of sitting in a movie theater.When he was young, his interest in meeting people appeared, he made a great friend named Leo, Drake always accompanied him in his activities, they were classmates and they always talked, well, Drake really had no other option because he was his only friend with whom he began to form a stronger bond.

One day at the local cinema an exciting action movie was released: "Lost Bullet" (This movie already exists, but this story is not going to be related to any existing movie).

Drake and Leo were walking through the park in front of the movie theater and Leo noticed:

Leo: "Wow, look at the movie listings! Lost Bullet is going to be released next week."

Drake: "Really? We should go and see it."

Leo: "Sure!"

Drake: "Do you really want to see it?"

Leo: "Of course! I'm a fan of the original saga and I love action movies."

Drake: "So, Saturday next week?"

Leo: "I'll be there"

Drake arrived home with a big smile and excitement in his eyes, it could finally be considered as a first date… more or less, even so, the idea of going to the movies for the first time with a friend made Drake very excited, looking forward to the agreed day.

On Saturday morning Drake called his friend to make sure that the plan was not cancelled, luckily this was not the case and in a few hours they would both go to meet to buy the tickets, Drake put on his best casual clothes, combed his hair and perfumed, finally, he took his savings to, in addition to buying the ticket, buy a snack from the cinema which he would invite Leo as a generous gesture.

Arriving at the cinema in the distance he saw Leo dressed in ripped blue jeans with a green t-shirt, Leo noticed Drake's presence and greeted him from afar as he moved closer to the cinema.They both bought their tickets and walked in:

Drake: "Hey, I've brought a little extra money so I thought maybe you'd like some snacks they sell here, don't worry I'll invite"

Leo: "Sure? The food here is very expensive."

Drake: "That's no problem, I just want to make this occasion more special…"Leo: "Special in what way?"

Drake: "Special in the way that it's the first time we've gone to the movies together of course"

Luckily for Drake, the line for snacks was short, it wouldn't take more than 5 minutes, and they would get to the movie theater on time.

His turn came, and a young boy waited on him.

Seller: "What can we serve you boy?"

Drake: "Giant Popcorn Please"

Seller: "Are you sure that's it? I see that another guy is also accompanying you, how about we offer you soda?"

Drake: "um… ok also soda, thanks"

Seller: "We also have combo 1 which contains 1 hot dog with melted cheese, fried foods and a small container with extra cheese, and with the purchase of two combos 1 we offer to evolve the order to combo 2 where the hot dog is added moderately spicy chilli, bacon and tomato, and the sodas increase to medium size"

Drake wasn't sure, it was a lot of food and although the movie is 3 hours long he wouldn't know how his stomach was going to react, he was going to deny the offer until he saw how Leo was staring at the greedy combo 3, if he really wanted to impress Leo, he had to get what he wanted.

Drake: "How about two combos 3"

Seller: "Combo 3 contains…"Drake: "Just give it to me, the movie is about to start…"

Seller: "At your service!"It took 3 minutes until Drake received two plastic trays of what would be the maximum combo that cinema could offer, Leo walked up to Drake, took one of the trays:

Leo: "Did you really pay for all this? For me?"Drake: "Well… I couldn't skimp on any expense if it was my… best friend"

Leo: "Thank you very much"

Drake flushed and was interrupted by Leo's strong arm grabbing his arm to run and reach the room, it was so fast that almost all the food staggered to the point of falling, they looked for their seats that were located in the horizontal and vertical center of the room.

The trailers started and Leo was already devouring his food: "Try it, it tastes amazing!", Shyly Drake took a bite of his hot dog… His taste was amazing and he started devouring the first hot dog (combo 3 includes two hot dogs).

The movie started and Drake had already eaten half of his plate, Leo surprised put his hand on Drake's shoulder and said: "Save a little for the movie dude" making him blush even more and calm down a little.

The first 30 minutes of the movie had passed, everything was going well, Drake hadn't touched his plate since Leo told him, a stomach roar echoed in his head, "Sure it's hunger" he thought so he went back to take the second hot dog and ate it slowly preventing his condiments from falling on the floor, When he finished the roar had not gone away, on the contrary, it increased, so he began to eat the fried foods he had spreading them on the chili, melted cheese and extra guacamole that belonged to combo 3, at the first hour of the movie his belly began to hurt, Drake feared that the pain was caused by something else besides hunger, But he followed up with the last of the combo: buttered popcorn and the giant glass of soda.

30 more minutes passed, I officially reached the middle of the movie when another stomach roar hit him off guard, he began to massage his stomach and his forehead began to sweat thanks to the pains followed, another roar made Drake feel a small air trapped between his intestines, he turned to look at Leo, he was attentive to the movie with a small smile admiring the giant screen, Nervously, Drake leaned over a bit and… *pppfftfttfIt* was a small, silent fart, the smell was compact and intertwined around Drake's sweaty body, he flipped again and apparently Leo hadn't noticed, the noise of the movie and the air conditioning in the movie theater was able to attack the smell limiting it to being close to his father.

Drake breathed a sigh of relief hoping that this situation would not be repeated, but due to his bad luck in 5 minutes another pain came, a great acidity focused on his stomach where something terrible was cooking, but while the pot began to boil the smoke began to come out traveling through the giant caves of the large intestine until it touched the anal sphincter of the exhausted Drake: *GRRRRRRRRRRR*

He took his hand and brought it to his stomach, the pain made him squirm in his seat when he felt that another gas was about to come out of him, he bent over and a more violent fart came out: *PPPFFFttttttt*

this one started with a big bang and then took on a high-pitched sound, you could certainly hear it if you had a good ear.

Leo: "Do you smell anything strange?"

Drake: "No, why do you say so?"

Leo: "This place sucks, they should clean it better"

Drake: "Yes, of course"

The smell was dissolved enough that it could pass as a stench of dirt rather than intestines or junk food, Leo began to notice Drake's smells thinking that they are typical of the movies, Drake knew that he needed a better strategy to prevent his discomfort from being noticed, he took off his jacket and covered his hips with it, Then he apply enough pressure that the seat ends up forming around his butt creating a small prison for smells and sounds.

Leo saw what Drake was doing and asked, surprised:

Leo: "Hey, is something wrong?"

Drake: "It's okay…"

Leo: "Do you look uncomfortable and I think you're sweating a lot, does it hurt at all?"

Drake: "Not at all Leo, I'm just too hot, that's why I took off my jacket"

Leo: "If you say it... *BOOM* WOW! Look at that explosion!"

Of course, that was the solution, Drake thought, at this point they were already two hours into the movie, it was clear that the last hour would be the one with the most action: gunshots and explosions were the perfect façade to hide the sound of their clashing buttocks in a better way.

Drake was attentive to the big screen, not so much for the plot, but for the explosions and in a bold way managed to synchronize his farts with each of them:

*POOOOOMMMMMM*

*PPFPPFPPDFTFTFTFTFTFTF*

*BOOOMMMMMMM*

*PRRPRPRPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*

*UFFOFFCHOCHOMMMMMMM*

*PFFPFFPFTTTTTTTTPPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR*

The farts were getting longer and more recurrent, little by little his stomach started to get more and more agitated: *GRGRGRGRRRRRRRR*, Drake brought both his hands to his stomach trying to soothe the pain with massages, but it didn't work, *GRGGRRRRRR*, he lifted his butt and didn't even care if there was an explosion or not and farted *PPFFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTTFTF* *PFTTFTF* this was the most violent of all so far, The humidity of it warned him that the chili was about to come out, there was still half an hour to finish the film, he still couldn't give up.

He turned to look at Leo and saw that he had a disgusted face, Leo noticed, turned around and said:

Leo: "Drake, it really sucks this place, like something's rotting..."

Drake: "Don't worry about it, it's only 30 more minutes and we'll get out of here"

Leo: "Check your seat, I think that's where the smell comes from"

Drake was embarrassed, Leo was beginning to suspect him, the smell could not even get rid of the air anymore and the worst thing is that the gas trap contained the smell but did not eliminate it, little by little the gases stuck in the seat began to leak making a putrefying aura form around Drake that could already be noticed meters away from him, Pretending and trying to convince Leo that the smell wasn't coming from him, he began to search his seat, obviously to no avail.

They both continued to watch what was left of the movie, about 10 minutes already, which Drake had to keep his gas as deep into his intestines as possible, he could not allow Leo to realize what was happening to him, the typical situation of diarrhea on the first date.

Coming almost to the end, the protagonists of the film had to defuse a large bomb of a large shopping mall, it would be the biggest explosion of all, but it will be overcome by Drake who could no longer hold on and urgently needed to release the air trapped in his anus.

The countdown to the explosion of the bomb arrived, the protagonist tried to disarm it without success, when he reached number 1, Drake relaxed his sphincter confidently until he heard something terrible: "I defused it!".

It was too late, the fake explosion could have been avoided, but not the real one:

*PFPTPPTFPTPFTPPFPFPFPFPPPPPPTPTPTPTPFD* *PPTDTTDTSTTSTSTSFTFTFTTFTFTTFTFRR* *GRRERRGRGRGRRRRR* *PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR* *SQHHSQSH* 

Everyone in the movie theater was silent staring at Drake's seats and Leo, the latter turned to Drake and said: "You...", Drake ran out of the place, in addition to taking a great embarrassment, he also took a small gift from the fart, the diarrhea was able to leak and be successfully expelled staining Drake's underwear with a hot and thick mixture.

Seller: "Boy, don't run in the aisles!"

Finally, Drake arrived at the public bathroom of the cinema, ran until he almost slipped, sat in the last cubicle of the place, closed the door, undressed and finally his ass kissed the much-appreciated cold porcelain:

*PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR* *HSQHQSBHSHQSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHHHHH* *PFFTTFT* *SQHQHSHSHSHSHSHQSHQSHSH* *PRRRRRRPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS*

Drake felt his butt dripping lava directly from an erupting super volcano, the acidity of his stomach began to attack him and:

*RPPPRRPRRRRF* *QSHHQHSQHSHQSHSHSHQHHSQSHHS* *QHHSHQSHQSSHSHSH* *GRGRGRGRGGRGR* *PPPFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTTTTT* *PSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPPSPPSPPSPPSPPS*

The pain was acute, Drake began to sweat like crazy and took off his shirt, took some toilet paper and wiped his forehead, panting he gathered strength to continue expelling the diarrhea:

*FPTPPPFTFPPTFPTPFPFPFPPTTTTTTTT* *PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR* *GRGRGRGGRR* *PLOP* *PLOP* *PPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPPSPSPPSPS* *PFFTFTTFFTTF* *PDPSPSPSPPSPSPPRPRPRPRPRPRPR* 

The pain continued, Drake with both arms grabbed small railings that were in the cubicle holding them tightly, closed his teeth and spread his legs until he heard someone enter: "Drake, are you here?"

Drake raised his legs as high as he could praying for Leo to get out of there, but his stomach played dirty:

*PPPFPFPFPPPPFPTPTPTPTPTPTPPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPT*

A loud fart gave away his location, Leo knocked on the cubicle door:

Leo: "Are you okay buddy?"

Drake: -No answer-

Leo: "I never thought that food would hurt you so much, I also didn't think the smell was coming from you, but why didn't you ask to go to the bathroom, the movie wasn't so good that you don't want to skip any parts..."

Drake: "I'm sorry, I ruined everything"

Leo: "Don't say that, it can happen to anyone and I understand it"

Drake: "I didn't want to leave you alone...*GRRRRRRR*"

Leo: "Please, it's not the first time I've been to the movies, I'm not going to miss it or something"

Drake: "I-"

A sharp pain interrupted Drake, preparing for the worst he couldn't help but cry out in pain:

*PRRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR*

The place was in a great silence, both were surprised and could not say any words, bravely Leo was the one who calmed Drake:

Leo: "Forgive me, I shouldn't have proposed to you to come here and I shouldn't have come in even though I knew you were sick to my stomach, I won't tell anyone and we'll pretend that none of this happened."

Drake: "Don't apologize, I really wanted to come here, with you"

Leo: "As a... date?"

Drake: "Yes... *GRRRRR* if it makes you uncomfortable, we can also pretend I never said this"

Leo: "No... I think it was a wonderful first date after all."

Drake: "Thank you... *PFPPFPFPFPTPTPPPPTPTPPT* *SQHQHSQHSHSQSHQHSHQ*"

Leo: "I'll leave you alone..."

Drake: "No, stay, I want someone to be with me because it really hurts a lot, plus there's no toilet paper in this cubicle."

Leo: "Of course"

PS: I have about 4 proposals for a story in the cinema, I was finally able to fulfill this, and I like the result.

[oldsargasso]

Okay so re: “I need the other three to have like, a campaign to make him understand. or maybe a game to see who can get away with the most blatant innuendo or...I can't think of the word. but like making excuses like 'oh you should take your shirt off while doing XYZ 😇 you don't want to get it dirty' “

I have this vision of Kenta getting into baking?? Like he keeps getting told to pick a hobby as part of his recovery, and one day he helps Kim or Dean or Winner (WHEN WINNER WANTS TO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR DEAN FOR ONCE) (or maybe even SonicNorth!) with baking a cake—and he finds that he enjoys it?? Not in an explosive “this is so much fun omg” way, but in a quiet way. It’s so instruction-oriented and I think that would be soothing to him, on top of it being hands on, and then at the end of it he has something to give the people he cares about.

ALSO he has a good foundation for bakers arms and he’d look fine as hell doing it!! WHICH IS WHY Winner tells him “You can’t wear your shirt while baking, you’ll get it dirty.” To which Kenta just gives him this look 

“That’s what the apron’s for.”

But Dean jumps in to help “No, no, he’s right P’Kenta, your sleeves will get all dirty.” 

Which is why Kim walks into the room to find Kenta shirtless, wearing an apron cinched tight around his waist that does absolutely nothing to cover his generous and bountiful bosom, his beefy arms on full display as he aggressively kneads the dough he’s working on. 

Kim gives Winner a Look, to which Winner just takes a sip of his coffee and mutters “Don’t act like you’re not enjoying the view.” Which of COURSE Kim is enjoying the view; all he wants to do is grope and tease Kenta’s tits from behind, but Baking Time is NOT to be disturbed or it becomes Knife Time. So Kim, Winner, and Dean all just sit at the island watching Kenta, with Kenta giving them the occasional concerned/confused glance.

AFTER baking time however, the three of them absolutely help with “cleaning up” the flour that’s gotten all over Kenta’s skin until they’ve got him spread out over the counter, a panting, whimpering mess, until it clicks that maybe they hadn’t been taking a sudden and random interest in how to make bread, and it was just him they were watching.

(sorry to hit you with two long asks 🙏 you can take as much time as you need!)

please send me another three million words of this okay thank you!

not baking🥺 winner baking a cake for dean just leave me here 🥺 YES omg Kenta would love the ritual of baking. precise measurements, all the steps that have to be followed in correct order, doing and then waiting and then doing again. and then at the end of it he has something to give the people he cares about. 😭😭😭 STOPPPP before this Kenta really wouldn't have anything to give to people. all his funds previously were Tony's, and then I honestly don't know if he would get a job? or how he's living after that (maybe he can get a job in a bakery lol) but the food he makes would be like the first thing that's really HIS that he can gift.

all of these words are SO GLORIOUS!!! knife time is always only three seconds away. I'm screaming the thought of them all just sitting there WATCHING as Kenta kneads dough and gets a bit sweaty from opening the oven. perhaps mixes something vigorously.

feel free to elaborate on how they would help clean him up 😌honestly though it would take Kenta a while to actually realise, like he'd think about it but dismiss it pretty immediately because why would they be that into watching HIM? they would have to spell it out verrrry thoroughly

my first thought about the shirtless while doing mundane tasks was the classic "working on a car in the garage" wouldn't want to get grease all over your shirt!

"Oh," Kenta says, casting a quick look down at himself. "I thought, it's black so it probably won't matter---"

"Still, if it gets on there it's going to be messy," Winner points out sensibly. "And you know how fussy Kim gets about the laundry...'

And well, it's Winner's car so he would know best, and Kim did get really worked up that time Kenta put his blood-soaked jeans in with everything else last week... Kenta pulls his t-shirt over his head and sets it safely to one side. "What about yours?"

Winner shrugs and follows suit, tossing his shirt far less carefully away. The rag tucked into his waistband is pretty grubby; their shirts probably would have ended up the same if not for Winner's intervention. Kenta tends to forget, for all his extra years, how much he's outclassed when it comes to the garage.

(lol I love how we both were like of course Winner would be the first one to exploit this)

and then Kim and Dean come in from where they were practicing and settle in for the show 😇 perhaps Kim is convinced into sitting the driver's seat and turning the car on and off so they can test Kenta's handiwork. and while he's there Kenta swears he can feel Kim's gaze like a physical touch. and also when he can look away from Kim, he sees Winner has his dirty hands all over Dean, so obviously the only correct course of action is for everyone to take their shirts off. and perhaps more.

[kaz-identified]

I'm tired of waiting for asks I'm answering a whole ask game here and now.

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name? Faolan name comes from the fact the commonly accepted way to refer to the protagonist of Destiny is "Young Wolf". Faolan itself is a name, irish in origin, that means "Little Wolf". Her last name Ashford, is generally accepted to mean "Ford by the ash trees." A ford is a shallow place in a river that can be easily crossed. And ash trees represent, generally, a place between life and death, or represent death itself. I like this last name for her because it, to me at least, means crossing a barrier between life and death. This works very well for her, a character constantly caught between life and death, often acting as a bringer of one to allow the other. Her name before she was raised was Atticus. This is because I like the name. I have never read To Kill a Mockingbird.

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range) Physically she's stuck at 22 forever </3. But she was rezzed about six years ago in the real world.

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)? Our favorite boy Crow and her have something going on there, that's for sure <3

🍕 - What is their favorite food? She doesn't a lot of the time! She's too busy. But when she is forced to sit down and eat something, she's not picky. But she's particularly fond of rice in any form.

💼 - What do they do for a living? Well, you'd assume Guardian is a job in and off itself, right? NO. She makes most of her glimmer through Gambit and Crucible, as well as a far bit from gambling and illegal Sparrow racing.

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies? Sparrow Racing, that's about it.

🎯 -What do they do best? Faolan is a warrior at her heart, she always has been. Even when she was a child wandering the wastelands with Ulysses following the collapse. She fights like nothing else matters but ending the opponent in front of her, but she's clever enough to know when to disengage.

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do? She likes fighting, her friends, generally moving fast lil speed demon, winning, racing people, competition, and she likes books. She hates Vanguard meetings, sitting still, and days when there isn't wind.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories? Lighting the braziers at the Iron Temple.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories? Carrying Cayde's body back from the Prison of Elders.

🧊 - Is their current design the first one? Yes! She's had the same face since she was originally made. Thank you, Rudder. Though, her armor has changed quite a bit.

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC? She wasn't inspired by anything! I didn't make her! My brother did! I just added gaps between the events in Destiny to make a more compelling character to write about. And Rudder based her design off of my when he was making her for me, so I guess me?

🌂 - What genre do they belong in? Sci-fi. Obviously.

🙌 - How many sibling does your OC have? One biologically, but she's ostensibly claimed Ripley as her sister. So, effectively two.

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like? They're super dead! But her various mentor figures, pretty solid. I don't think she would've survived Forsaken without Ikora as support.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC? I like all the memories I have of her. Just because she's my character in Destiny. All the hours I messed around with Bella and Ben in the Reef, the misery and screaming in Spire, the late night Crucible sessions, the staying up till way past late. The friends Destiny, and by extension, Faolan, has helped me make. People that I wouldn't know if Rudder hadn't snatched my controller from my hands and made her for me on December 22nd, 2012.

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC? I write about her at least once a week.

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC? I can't. She can't die.

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias? Lygophobia, the fear of the dark.

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival? Besides the obvious, the Witness, she has MAD beef with Marcus Ren because it's HIS FAULT she got banned from the SRL.

🎓 - How long have you had the OC? Oh jeez... six years?

🍥 - What age were you when you created the OC? Ah, about eleven years old!

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary308

7/23-24/24

tuesday - wendesday

very good day, today...

a lovely time with my girlfriend, i thought someone else would be coming, she said she would and i was looking forward to that cuz she has been in china for a while teaching, but she did not, cuz jet lagged!! so i got to be alone w/ my gf all day while in the vegas china town zone, which is really just a bunch of strange strip malls. but i like it down there... lots of nostalgia but also good food and stuff. i had like,,, chicken katsu today that was like my first time ever eating it all over again. that was crazy... they make the panko in house, w/ shokupan, it made me kind of emotional, that's the first time food has ever done that. my gf got a crazy sandwich that had green tea bread, which seemed very good . the meat in it was chicken katsu as well.

we also went to this new location for a cafe chain she really likes, called suzuya... that was also delicious, maybe the best matcha latte in vegas + they had these insane mochi + matcha beignets, very insane flavor there, the mochi was kind of like super delicious + genius as a filling in the beignet, it's like post-jelly.

after that we just kind of wandered around a bit, it's very hot but it was just nice to be out with her all day, going to like, stupid stores with toys in them and stuff, we didn't really buy anything but i am glad we just stared at stuff together. maybe that sounds like meaningless or empty, to just like, walk around anonymous shops, but it's nice that we're in that vacuous region together. i mean i guess that's the classic 'making meaning'... it is very special though, i am reflection on all this a little more, being with her all day, getting home, sitting in the bed and watching dumb videos on instagram for toooo longgg (it's always too long but it's nice... honestly, just to be with her (though i also liked laying in silence with her a lot.)), because i was cooking and she was already in bed, and i realized how lonely that is, for one, and how much i miss being able to look over at her and see her doing her thing. just on the computer, watching whatever.

i don't know if i've ever gushed about her here like this, i don't think that's really how 'love' ever feels for me, not that it's not intense, but i like it as a process, but i never really go into it. because it's such a part of living...like breathing, basically, so i just carry on with it, do my best with it, as she does her best, sit in silence, speak, help eachother. it is so meaningful and heavy that it takes up all the air, it's just an atmosphere, i can't compare it to anything, so i'm just left with this fact that is difficult to explicated, beyond saying:

it is.

but it is, an arrow shot through time.

anyway... other stuff from today... i did take selfies but it's late now so i'll do that all tomorrow. tomorrow's errands day. anyway, i also did finish the drawing poem-ish thing-y:

it's funny ,,, it feels good to do stuff like this, even if i am definitely not very good at drawing (obv), but it helps me get better. also i did actually have another doll drawing done but i realized it looked so strange so i just did another, very quickly. i do prefer this one, like i said, it makes me improve!! which is what matters the most... i will say i think i have a good excuse for having obviously weird anatomy here, because the dolls are just weird looking generally. but i hope that's not something that actually needs explaining.

also, today, i found sd laika died. extremely awful and tragic news, he was one of the best to ever make music, i think, in that whole deconstructed club wave, plus his way of taking grime music and totally transforming it into this shambolic thing, it's so beautiful to me. hearing him in highschool really changed me, and honestly i'm far more gutted by this than i thought i'd be. i never even imagined his death. from what i know, his posting songs and then deleting them, he struggled with a lot, so i guess i get a sense why/how it happened... makes it much more sad.

rest in peace:

one of my favorite songs of his. very beautiful and strange stuff here.

maybe a strange thing to note, but i think part of why he worked so well for me, back then and now, he was so uniquely negative in his music, it really is gothic. take this song for instance:

the titles don't feel like, random little throwaway things, i mean they never are (they always color the music in some way) but they feel so pointed, and involved in the song, or maybe that's just the years i've had with this stuff putting that in my mind. the piano here, such a strange sound palette, it sounds so physical/present, it's a mutant drinking song, some kind of negating force from history, a great heaping muck-body thing emerging over a landscape.

what really bites about this death, is that he's been dead since last year, and it's only getting passed around now because people found it more recently on his lastfm page, a friend of his made the announcement. fucking tragic. he's been awol a long time, as well, nobody ever expected to hear from him again... what a nightmare.

such a desperate record, sonically. totally unique, i feel bad, that his death is doing so much to remind me of what his music was to me. that feels very fucked up of me. like i feel a little evil for it. this record was also something everyone had to hear, when it came out, the fact it made its way to me, crazy. nothing else like it, so futuristic, it's still futuristic.

maybe negative isn't the best word... well idk. i like it, it is negative music, but it's not music that suggests life is worthless or something, it's only just that the desperation of the music, his really exceptional melodic sense, and its physicality, the use of these digital failures, all the glitches, the inconstancy of the music, it's music which sort of acknowledges life as this thrashing thing, facing a horizon, and the reach/wriggling towards that horizon, hoping it will end, and all there really is, is the thrashing. nothing truly upwards, it's all body, it's all tragedy, but it affirms that, maybe its futurity is that it negates all teleology, music that moves through the wrestling with life. this makes it a little harder to listen to, at the same rate, it feels true to me, and part of why i was able to get so much out of it, music which hits that particular note, some kind of dancing amid despair, it is a very dear thing.

of course, if he were here seeing me say all this, he might feel it unfair to put all this on his music, this is just what comes out of him... the sounds he likes and things like that, it could all be intuitive. not that my read doesn't matter in the face of that just the strangeness of how anyone might feel having all that stuck to them. ultimately, i would just like to express some kind of love for what he did. i wonder if what it means to me means anything at all. i mean, no, it doesn't. but it's how i reach out and touch the thing itself at all, i guess.

otherwise, beyond the drawing and the lovely date and the cooking alone and the death, uhmmm, i mixed a couple of songs, i would like to write riffs soon though,,

but even sooner... i need to sleep. hopefully i can sleep okay tonight... last night was a little harder. basically i think i could have like a uti or something... i don';t want to get into the details of it but really i have no clue where i could have gotten anything like that. hopefully it is not a uti but it has to be something... unless this is just my life now... feeling like i have to pee always and not being able to pee.... that makes me contemplate dying. i hate that i seem to keep getting sick for no reason. what did i do to deserve this... probably a lot.

anyway i need to sleep soon . but since i am having the peeing trouble i will probably sit here a bit until i feel most comfortable to sleep. sucks.. . . .. blehhh , ..

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lemonboyfest]

reminders

reminders for 2024:

You’re not dead yet. Get the fuck up. Drag your corpse kicking and screaming into tomorrow. One day you will stop surviving and start living

more studying, more walks, more reading, more skill-based hobbies, more experimenting w pretty fits and hairstyles, more gym, more exploring new things in general, more whole foods/healthy recipes, more financial literacy, more time management, more time off the phone, more being out the loop. nothing else matters

hrmm. well hold on now ive been filled with a sudden joy and whimsy for the world

Glowing kind of love

fuck beauty standards. someone looking at you with love in their eyes is the most beautiful thing in the world.

as a girl who is literally just a girl i am always yearning. always longing always missing always wearing my heart on my sleeve. always feeling like my heart is on the verge of exploding. the sight of the sun makes me cry. anyway

i hope that when i die there will be an apartment with everyone i’ve ever loved in it and we are together always

read a lot and read everything

film and art and music are what builds ur soul

be outside

love and romance will not come to you any quicker if you are focused on it constantly

possessions don't improve things

movement does improve things

university is <4 years of the rest of your life - make the most of it

find the pleasure in hard work

lose the pleasure in scrolling

creation is essential

joy, love & intelligence are the tenets of life

stagnation isn't inevitable. no person is in a fixed state. you can always change

i love listening to someone’s favorite song its like im mentally holding their hand

you just had an epiphany about your sexuality? just own it. you like this unpopular thing your friends don’t like? just own it. you’re trans? just own it. you’re doing something unconventional? just own it. you’re completely free to share your reasons, but you don’t have to justify why you made the decisions you made. if you disclose something and a friend makes a face, okay well that’s too bad bc that’s who you are. they’re free to leave if what makes you a person doesn’t sit right w them. you don’t need to explain the why and the how and the when as if you’re trying to outrun their disapproval. be confident enough in yourself that you don’t feel the need to owe anyone an explanation. you’re you and that’s that.

what im learning is that you cannot avoid your way into a life you enjoy

i have the opposite of that “everyone is an npc” mentality people have embraced where i’m instead like. the person next to me in line has someone they can’t wait to go home to, the person picking up their mail has felt devastation before, everyone in this grocery store is doing their sunday shopping, maybe the person that just honked at me is having the worst day of their life, my neighbor has doctors appointments and favorite foods and a song they can’t stand to hear anymore… you are all fully realized complex people and that is overwhelming me on a spiritual level…

"omg you'll post 'i need him' on the most average men" "she's mid" most of us are average and it's good that we can find beauty and desire in average people .... on god FELT. i really need to start practicing this though. i get so complacent in my complacence i listen to my friends and i try so hard to fit in i insult people for no reason there is so much more to them than their aesthetics and if i do not find them attractive then what is to say someone else doesn't why do i feel the need to invalidate why am i rude ? people are all beautiful i need to remind myself . changing

[izzyliker]

yes!!!!!!

ok first of all SAFETY:

• do not enter a dumpster ever.

• if the store uses compactors instead of normal bins cross that store off your list of potential spots forever

second of all Finding a spot:

• take note of where stores keep their bins and whether it’s accessible to the public. some have their loading dock just right at the back of the store where anyone can just walk up there and some have them locked inside or behind a fence. try to avoid anything that’s obviously blocked off from the public, it makes it harder to get in and out

• once you find a place that has accessible bins you’re going to want to figure out what time is the best to go. sometimes it’s right after closing, sometimes it’s about half hour before closing, sometimes it’s in the middle of the night. your goal is to minimize the possibilities of store employees running into you (unpleasant for everyone) and maximize the chance of there actually being anything edible in the bins. the sweet spot at mine is 10pm on the dot because that’s when the sales floor & delivery employees leave and the overnight warehouse employees no longer enter the loading dock until early morning

• you’re also going to want to try hitting the same spot several nights in a row because not every day will have them throw away ANYTHING. several times i’ve showed up and there’s been exclusively trash in the bins LOL. sometimes all you get is like. a loaf of bread and a head of lettuce. and then other times you get three shopping bags worth of fresh veg + fruit + bread and live like a king for a week.

• most places the #1 thing that gets thrown out every single night in large quantities is bakery items. they throw an entire separate trash bag of loose bread and pastry here every night. it’s great but also at least at mine the bakery stuff isn’t individually packaged so you need to bring your own bags to get them home. unless you want to carry a huge trash bag home i guess.

• some stores don’t throw much of anything away. for me sainsburys, asda, m&s, and tesco are always bad spots because they have their own ways of getting rid of stuff. in the us where zero waste programs are less common you’re probably going to be in luck no matter where you go. i’ve heard aldi and walmart are especially bad/good.

• unless you have several reliable spots you can hit every time it’s unlikely it’s going to be the main source of anything, just supplemental stuff, which can still be great bc fruit & veg is expensive

FOOD SAFETY !!

• if there is a LOT of the same item in there before you go crazy check recalls. my spot throws away cans if they get dented or dirty, flour/sugar if the bag is dirty, entire pallets of egg cartons if an egg breaks in a different carton and entire boxes of surplus stock but sometimes this will be because they’re all contaminated with ecoli. google!!!

• please don’t take unsealed items the bins are highly disgusting and you don’t know what’s gone inside the packaging. i do take stuff like citrus fruit etc if it’s not dirty and is sort of on the top of the pile bc you don’t eat the peel anyway but exercise caution

• wash everything well. you should probably move stuff from og packaging to clean bags or containers depending on what it is. give it a good wipe w like hand sanitizer wipes otherwise before you put it in the fridge/freezer.

• when there has been a fridge/freezer malfunction and the bin is full of like, drinks or sandwiches or whatever please internalize the fact that you don’t know how long the cold chain has been broken and act accordingly. dairy and meat are the biggest risks after seafood. i don’t touch seafood at all. nothing you get out of the bin is “safe” espec if it’s already out of date (you don’t know if it’s been refrigerated or if it’s been sitting in a cart somewhere waiting to be thrown out since yesterday) but using common sense & your senses like smell/sight can def cut down on risks.

general TIPS:

• always leave the area the same or better than you found it - pick up anything you dropped on the ground and close the bin lids. the employees might know that ppl dumpster dive and don’t care unless you’re causing problems with raccoons or rats.

• if an employee catches you and asks you to leave be polite and just leave. come back another time. dumpster diving itself is legal in the US and the UK but if you’re on private property like the store loading dock they’re well within their rights to ask you to bounce. it isn’t worth it to have them call the cops even if it’s a public bin on city property and you’re technically in the right. be quiet, organized, and fast to avoid getting caught lol.

• wear gloves and get a headlamp i guess - i just use my phone flashlight but it would be beneficial to have two free hands. the bin sides are nasty. don’t touch them lol

remember when i made that post abt how the only ethical advice i can give re affording groceries in this economy is learning to dumpster dive. well i wasn’t joking

[myunghology]

Hi, I'm just wondering because you do headcanons could you please maybe do Diluc, Xiao and Thoma with an s/o who has a fear of commitment? I think that'd be really interesting and I'd love to see what you'd do with it if you want.

Your writing is amazing, & have a good rest of your day/night !! Thanks in advance if you do it !!

diluc, xiao and thoma with a s/o that has a fear of commitment!

a/n : I'M GONNA CRY UR SO NICE do not play w me alr.. my class is starting soon so i apologize if this is short, i had to google what commitment is for this.. gn! reader.

requests : opened!

now diluc is a person im sure you could trust, and would never want to hurt you, he understands that you have trouble especially if it's something from the past that you can't get your mind out of.

very protective of you! not to the point where he's possessive though, he just wants you to trust him with your life, as your boyfriend.

would listen to every word you say as he's doing something, no matter what it is im sure he'd listen to you.

he feels guilty for you because of your past relationships, friendships or even family problems, he's willing to give his full attention.

he's just a really nice person in general and wants you to feel safe, you could ask him if you wanted to talk about problems while hugging him and he'd gladly accept your offer.

even if he's working, he'll always find a way to make time for you. rubbing circles on your back now and then everytime you remember something toxic.

"it's fine, i surely do not mind, i want you to feel comfortable around me always, i may be busy, but i'll always listen to you whenever you need me."

now thoma, he's slightly confused about it but is actually understanding, you may feel like he doesn't have time for you because of serving for ayato, but the truth is, he's doing his best so he can see you sooner.

he is worried about you, but always asks for advice from ayato or ayaka, they just told him that he needed to give you more space to open up to him with a smile.

he cooks for you as well, takes care of you amazingly, he sometimes wonders if he's doing too much. but it's worth it he says, to see a nice smile on your face and to see if he's got your trust already.

you two go on walks in inazuma to relieve anything negative that's on your mind, sitting below a tree with cats around you both, thoma knitting sweaters for the cats while you feed them while smiling.

the sound of knitting filled your ears as you looked at your boyfriend, "are you alright now? i hope you are. you could always talk to me about anything." he said with a smile, you nodded your head. you swore you could see the kamisato siblings behind a tree.

now xiao.. he doesn't understand in the nicest way possible im sorry LMFAO, but he tries his best as well.

going to his trusty old morax for advice just like how thoma did, zhongli asked him to sit down and enjoy some tea with him while he explains.

xiao asked a lot of questions about it, which made zhongli happy. he wasn't usually like this, well, for a mere mortal,

also very busy, probably the bussiest out of all of them, he usually comes back late, but makes it up with ordering your favorite food.

everytime you ask to talk about your problems, he looks like he's annoyed but he actually doesn't mind, he's actually quite happy.

listens to every single bit of it, staring at you maybe too hard. also very protective of you, everywhere you go your hands are always locked together.

"well, i don't really get this mortal thing, but i'd like to help you somehow. for everything you'd for me." he murmured under his breath.

[seoness]

ALRIGHT I have a question too, o rather two::: How can reader know that the hound is in a good mood? Since his neutral demeanor is serious and usually sulking lmao, what signs does he show when he's not moody that day? And also: i've read your sfw alphabet for him and you said he's a good listener,,, in the show he seems to have rather little patience for 'talkers', like in the chicken scene w polliver or even the scenes with the farmer that gives him and arya shelter and food; though w the latter he seems to engage minimally in conversation before completely disminishig the whole speech of the farmer to ask for ale🤣, but i do recognize that those two are completely strangers to him and he does opens up w people he kinda knows, like beric, thoros, arya or sansa. So how would it be w reader in the start and when they progress? How easy is to have a conversation w him in general spare time?

Answer to question 1:

You want to be able to read the Hound's face? It's subtle at first, and that is partly due to design. Having an unreadable face is favorable with a sworn sword and to the untrained eye, the Hound would only appear to have a scowl and a deeper scowl in his range of facial expressions.

But here is where the books and the show differentiate. The book-version talks waaaay more than the TV version. The quiet sullenness is one found more so on the screen than on the page (not that I'm saying that the Hound in the books runs his mouth endlessly but that when he could talk and had something to say, he did.) Being the quiet recluse is an attribute of his brother, not him. The book version has a couple of tells, face twitching, eyes narrowing, and accusatory speech when he's irate.

The show... well, he seems to have taken on some of Gregor's characteristics. Less talkative and with tendencies to isolate. He hunkers down on a wall with Beric. He sits and drinks in silence with Tormund, and when Tormund breaks it over Brienne, he becomes annoyed. Regardless, the easiest way to tell how he's feeling is to ask him. Getting questions like: "How was your day?" would show him that you care for him.

(This isn't your question, but I love both the books and the show version of the character. I do however attribute liking the Hound in the later seasons to Rory McCann's acting and not the writing. I feel, like with everything else, the writers were lost the more the seasons went on and didn't know what to do with the characters, and the Hound wasn't (in my opinion) spared. I still cringe into oblivion when I think about the dialogue he had with Sansa Stark about Ramsey Snow.)

(My entire reaction during that scene but I have detoured to much and you didn't ask for a rant). *rebooting*

Answer to question 2:

Fuck me, I am so sorry, these two answers suck BUT it will once again differ from if you are speaking to the book version vs the show version. 😭

The book version: It was a bit tricky at first, making the Hound relax around you, but with time and keeping your questions away from his service to the Crown Prince he'll begin to open up. While there's little "empty talk" like "the weather looks nice today" and gossip, he's open to talking about most things.

The show version: Getting a long conversation is like cracking open a walnut with the help of a feather. He prefers silence. He'll mostly listen at first, to your passions and interest. A lifetime of work and duty didn't grant him time to make too many of those.

But it doesn't matter from what universe you pluck him. Two sayings are true regarding Sandor Clegane. The first is one of our world, "empty barrels makes the most noise". When he speaks there is a point to be made, a warning to be heeded or a question you just might be the only one able to answer. The second one comes from his own lips:

"A hound will die for you, but never lie to you. And he’ll look you straight in the face."

I hope I answered your question, it's a bit of a mismatch of "Welcome to my Tedtalk" and stuff. 🙈 I just wanted to highlight that the SFW alphabet is on the book Sandor and not the show version.

[plinkcat-gif]

For the fluff prompts 1 or 15 for obkk pretty please 🥺

hiiii this is from like 15 days ago <333 and i finally came up w something for it!!! (actually i did like three days after u sent this but never got around to writing it bc i started working on the collab w bp :333)

some info: kakashi has sound to taste synesthesia! he has a little bit of both sound and word-stuff, which i’m not entirely sure is real, but it’s going to have to be for the prompt LOL

there are of course more than five words that taste bad but so far, only those five invoke uncontrollable reactions (and it’s his duty to report them as a ninja. because they’re pretty common words and he wouldn’t want to out their cover by being asked to take midnight watch lol)

obito and rin’s voices generally taste good!! words that usually invoke no particular taste invoke something when they say it. i didn’t specify the tastes of anything bc i wanted to leave it up to the reader shdjsjfhdk

ok enjoy!!!!!

prompt: "Should I stop talking?" || "Don't, your voice is very soothing"

Kakashi always had some pretty well-established rules about himself that, for the most part, were normal. Don’t look when the mask is off, no hugs allowed, and no stealing food unless you were Rin and Obito. Genma nearly had his hand stabbed through with chopsticks when he’d tried.

But by far, the weirdest was the list of words that by any means, were not allowed to be said near him. And not the expected words from a shinobi, like the sensitive-topic ones.

Knife, sleeve, spider, contradict, and midnight were the five words written on the paper that Kakashi handed Minato-sensei on the first day of training. Minato explained the list to Obito and Rin, and then did not explain why that list mattered or what it had to do with Kakashi.

But, whatever. They avoided the words as much as they could, and never really questioned why.

It wasn’t until Obito was a eighteen (impressed he’d lasted that long? So was he) that he found out the reason for Kakashi’s aversion to those words. He’d accidentally let “contradict” slip when he had been arguing with his teammate, and Kakashi had suddenly gagged so violently that Obito worried he’d torn his throat or something.

Immediately disarmed, Obito had quit his yelling and kneeled next to his fallen teammate, who had yanked his mask down to breathe. He averted his gaze and asked, “Holy shit, are you okay?”

“I’m…I’m fine,” he panted, smacking his lips. “Ugh.”

“What happened?” Obito asked, a hand resting on Kakashi’s back. “Are you going to hurl? Should I find Minato-sensei?”

Kakashi shook his head. “Please just keep talking.”

Obito blinked, taken aback. “Um. Okay? Why?”

“Your voice…” The younger trailed off, looking away.

“Kakashi. You have to tell me now that you’ve said something.”

“Fine. I have synesthesia,” Kakashi spat, rolling his eyes as he pulled his mask up. “I taste sounds and words.”

“What the hell?” Obito said before he could stop himself, and Kakashi rose to his feet with a scoff.

“Yeah. Bye, Obito.”

“Wait, what? Hey! That doesn’t explain why you wanted—Wait, does my voice…taste good?”

“Yes. Bye, Obito.” Kakashi formed the signs to a shunshin, deceptively calm but Obito could see the crease in his brow. He lunged forward and grabbed Kakashi’s wrists, splitting his hands.

“Kakashi!” he shouted, yanking the younger to a sitting position. “I think that’s super cool! And I want to help!”

“And I’d really like to go home to wallow in my shame.”

“I mean, if me talking helps, then I’ll talk. Please? Will you at least stay and we never have to talk about it again?” He batted his eyelashes and pouted, hoping to make himself look like a bigger fool than Kakashi felt to redirect his attention.

Kakashi stared at him, then cracked a small smile under the mask and bonked him gently on the head. “Fine. I’ll stay. I should probably help you clean up the training field anyway…”

Obito glanced behind him to the fallen trees then flapped his hand dismissively. “It’s fine. We can do it later. I wanna watch clouds again.” He flopped onto his back and Kakashi followed, crossing his arms over his abdomen.

“That one looks like a duck.”

“Oh please never say duck again,” Kakashi groaned.

[jjkpls]

the wishlist (m) - 6 (final)

“Was it worth it?”

> genre : smut, angst, fluff

> pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (f)

> words : 15k (ugh sorry)

> content/warnings : back at it again w/ the bff2l; one sided love, LOTS of pining; sextoys talk and use; explicit language; explicit description of sex; phonesex; masturbation (f); dirtytalk; alcohol drinking; dubcon exhibitionism; ambiguous infidelity

previous - masterlist

There's a lot of forgetting to get done. It wasn't the plan to get drunk. Maybe you should have known better than to confide the slightest about your heart and its aching to your two girlfriends. Because they don't have much of a solution to present you with. You meant to ask of them to divert your mind, make you laugh, feed you so much you'd fall into a food coma and wouldn't be able to think about anything else but sleep. Eventually, share their own dramas of the moment (they always have some) to get you so invested in their shits you wouldn't be thinking about your own.

You made the mistake of sharing, with probably too much preponderance in your tone, that Jungkook was back with his girlfriend.

Without any context clues -they didn't even know that he was single for approximately four days-, they knew. You're not that complicated to read when it comes to him. Only he seems to not get it.

You still remember the first time they found you out. They had a sense that something was up with this kid, that there couldn't just be a platonic, decade-old friendship based on nothing spicier than the tteokbokki you'd cook for him every now and then.

They only started believing, with utter incredulity, that it was true when they saw you, and him, and his girlfriend. All at the same time, sitting around the same table, there was no doubt left. No reason to believe that there's something unsaid existing. They saw your eyes though. The shine they gain whenever you'd be looking at him, laughing hard with all his teeth out, and the glassy look they took on whenever they'd catch a gesture, a touch that was meant only for Jiyeun.

You've never really gone into details. You've never ranted over the feelings, over him, everything that made him the one person for you. They saw you cry over him though, one drunken night, and it was enough to make them understand how deep you were in.

And perhaps it's your fault, that you wouldn't sort of train them to be the better friends they wish to be to you. They don't know what to say, what to do to console you. You don't even know what you need. Really, all you know, it's that you didn't feel able enough to take care of your tormented heart and mind alone tonight.

You are to blame if they dragged you to this bar, with the music too loud and the people too numerous, bumping their hips to yours attempting to coarse you into dancing. You hate every second of it. Every element that was supposed to distract you, help you forget, feel better, served as annoying distractions. You could picture yourself, dipped in a scorching hot bath, with a bowl of ice cream, weeping your eyes out like in the most cliche, most dramatic breaking down of your life. And it felt right, in your mind anyway, a thousand times better than this.

"Here!" Like the good girl that you are, you accept the shots. Min sets one in each of your hand and stares over the rim of her own glass, expecting. You roll your eyes. Swallow them down in one go and she yells, arms in the air, jumping like the night has just been made.

At least, she's entertained. Dancing her life away, kind of wilding out with too much energy, having to apologize every few seconds for knocking someone with an elbow or slapping another with her ponytail.

"Look, who's here!"

Your heart skips a beat then. Until you follow Mary's finger who's pointing rudely at Park Jimin. Park Jimin as in Jeon Jungkook's Park Jimin, one of his closest friends. He's dressed in all black, tight leather pants clawing to his legs, silk shirt half unbuttoned, perched on heeled Chelsea boots, dark black hair gelled back.

For a second, you worry, stupidly, if your friend is not going to appear, emerging from the thick crowd, carrying a drink, catching your eyes in the room. That's another thing you wouldn't need right now: seeing him. When you're in this weird state of sadness, guiltiness, of hopelessness and confusion. You'd probably be a mean bitch again. He doesn't deserve that.

For some time, you're just watching Jimin, being Jimin, dancing languorously, flashing smiles and winks so naturally; making everyone uncomfortable just because he's so attractive and so talented at catching people's attention and making them want him. It's just Jimin, hoeing out, as always. No Jungkook ever appears next to him. And while you sort of spy on him, there are the two dumb bitches next to you, drooling over him. Commenting about his ass, the way he moves his hips and how tight he seems to be in his pants.

"You should have fallen for him, dude!" It's the pinch to your arm that drags you back to the conversation, lets you know that you're the one Min is addressing. "What?" Your brain is already a bit slow. You haven't eaten much before leaving, drunk not much but too fast and forming intelligible sentences, translating your thoughts in their entirety is not a task easily doable at the moment. You meant to say something about how ridiculous they sound. About how it doesn't make any sense. About Jungkook and the things you feel for him, and the way you fell and how even when you suffer, like in this instance, you wouldn't change your heart because it's him, and only him, has been and might as well always be.

Why would you fall for Park Jimin?

"Jimin, you'd just ask him to fuck you and he'll do it."

"You can see he's a very generous slut."

It makes you wince. They're being fucking weird. Obnoxious, in their way of ogling him and quite disgusting talking about him. There's a smirk on the corner of Jimin's mouth and you wonder if maybe he's noticed them and is enjoying it. They don't mean to be offensive, you suppose, but they're still rude as hell.

"Useless Jungkook could never!"

Either you knock your friend out with your newly filled up glass or you drink it and attempt to swallow along your rage and that strange feeling that the open shirt Jimin is wearing has raised in you.

"Don't you wanna try him?" The question is absurd. You don't try people in general. But you'd never, ever, even think about trying someone as close as he is to Jungkook.

What the actual fuck?

"Fine! Don't give me those eyes!" Your brain and face connection is not that great at the moment that you'd know precisely what Mary is referring to. Soon after frowning and pouting through a sip of her drink, she's leaving, straight for the less crowded part of the bar, where people are dancing, where Jimin is showing off.

She needs less than thirty seconds to have him wrapped around her. Min is howling at your side like it's such an exploit. You don't want to bad mouth on your friend but it is, indeed, Jimin. Manwhore Jimin. And just like that, just because she walked in his vicinity, whispered something quickly to him, maybe just a simple greeting and a reminder of who she is, your friend, in case he couldn't make her out, and he's holding her tight, dancing, more like grinding against her, to her greatest pleasure, face buried in her hair, he seems to be uttering things directly in her ear. You catch her fingers reaching for the wide opening of his shirt, brushing against that tattoo you know to be there under his breast but have never gotten to really decipher, and he's leaving kisses on her shoulders. The next thing you see is his wide, wolf-like grin, now aiming straight at you.

You startle, almost let your glass shatter to the ground from the surprise. That seems to make him laugh. He waves a hand quickly your way and for some reasons, it sends a sudden flaming flush to your cheeks. That guy is such a cunt-tease, he's awful. No wonder people talk so crudely about him.

"I need to get plastered." You mumble, probably not loud enough for Min, whose arm you're dragging along on your way to the bar, to hear.

You may have thought, for a split second, of a fantasy. You may have reshaped the scene taking place in front of you to make it more suitable to you, to make it as self-indulgent as you could. With you replacing Mary, with Jungkook replacing Jimin. She made it seem so easy and for the briefest of moments, it felt like it was realisable. As if the only step missing, the only thing making it not real yet, is the first step, the one Mary took by just walking up to him and asking him to dance, maybe for you to be his for a while.

Then Jimin looked over, with his dark eyes and pretty luscious lips, his very sexy aura and everything that makes him him, and it all felt down to the ground. That's ridiculous.

That would never work.

Maybe hot men with the most endearing hearts that you really desire are not to be seduced by you. It just wouldn't happen. Jungkook would never, as she said. What a shame.

You should have fallen for someone easier like Jimin. He's not one person's man, that's for sure, but at least, he would have been great at pretending to be yours for a moment.

Now you really need to get drunk.

There's pure guilt boiling in the pit of your stomach. Because you've never denied your feelings for Jungkook. He deserves them. He deserves to be loved by everyone. Deeply and passionately. And no matter how true, how pure, how intense those feelings are, he never owes to reciprocate, does he? And here you are, greedy stupid little you, sad and angry because of course, he couldn't love you back like that. Not when there's fucking Jiyeun in the way. Jiyeun or any fucking one else, right?

He's not making it easy for you. Everything he does is making your life harder. As if it wasn't enough on its own already.

Everything he does.

Like buying you these fucking toys you need a science degree to operate.

Sort of.

Maybe you don't need a science degree. Maybe a sober head would be enough to make a toy you've never used before function.

You don't have that at the moment. You're in your favourite pyjamas - an extra-large, greyed by time tee-shirt you stole from Jungkook back in high school - and panties - because it sounded like way too much effort to find shorts or joggings and slip them on. You've managed, somehow, you don't even remember doing it, to make your bed all cosy and welcoming, a perfect backrest made of your fluffiest pillows.

The little toy, this orange thing, sort of shaped like a fat bunny, a big, rounded body with two straight little ears, pointed upwards. It's supposed to be fully charged. It's been disinfected. It's just waiting for you to use.

Except it's the last one Jungkook had bought for you, you didn't get to use it yet, to even turn it on once, nor read its instructions. And here you are, past two am, trying, with your sloppy brain, your blurry eyes, and your impatient cunt, to understand how it works. There's an app linked to it. This much you got from the big, unmissable QR code occupying the first page of the three-page long manual that your eyes won't read.

You picked up your phone, went through the violent burning of your eyes when the screen lit up too close to your face, scanned the code, installed the app and here you are, stuck.

The app won't let you turn the fucking toy on. There's a message that keeps coming up every time you try to link the app to the toy. But the message is written in grey, on white, and you can't see shit and you don't have the patience to decrypt it. Maybe if you close it, and try running it again, and try scanning the code again, and just click on the button that appears under the message, whatever it says, maybe it'll work.

Except it doesn't. After a certain number of times (keeping up with the counting is another thing you can't do well right now) the app keeps on being a bitch. Keeps being difficult and reluctant, and unwilling to let you fucking get off and go to sleep.

You're on the verge of tears.

Why would it be so fucking difficult to make a fucking sex toy work?

Why?

You're so annoyed and impatient and angry now and it's all Jungkook's fault anyway.

You can't try to go to sleep, no matter how tipsy you are, because your brain is filled up with this asshole and won't let you alone. You can't fuck yourself to sleep because the toy you've picked - and for totally irrational reasons you feel like you can not switch to another one - won't let you and it's his. His fucking present. Fucking poisoned gift.

He makes everything worse. Everything difficult. And the more your eyes fill up with frustration tears, the more you're reminded that he's also the answer. He's the worst and the best part of your existence.

Of course, you'd call him.

"I could be sleeping." His voice is light and clear. He wasn't any close to be asleep. He's probably gaming or something. You're so thankful for his voice, the lovely thing, the comforting thing, that you don't even get mad at his aforehand teasing.

"Jungkook-" It's not a call of his name. It's a whine, almost a lament at this point. Tiny high tone, overly dragged vowels. Something like Juunggooo, and he must recognize the tone straight away because he starts laughing in your ear. You bite on your bottom lip hard, almost draw blood, squeeze your fist over your heart, as if it could help it handle it better.

You love him, you love him, you love him.

"Went out with the girls?" You hum as an answer. "Had a little too much fun, sweatheart?"

"No fun at all."

He's laughing again. His sly, mocking chuckle. He's too himself for you to get mad at him. He's too cute when he sounds boyish and happy like that.

"No fun?" He's having fun, it's hearable. It might be because you sound like a dumb, whiny kid. "Why is that?"

"Just cause." He hums like he understands. You hear mockery in it. He sounds a bit distant. As if he's not totally paying attention, as if you're really a four-year-old kid rambling some non-sense after school and their parent just barely pretends to be interested. "Junggooo, I'm trying to have my fun now but your thing is being mean to me."

"What thing?" He's definitely doing something else. He speaks a bit slow, you can picture his gaze far from you. And of course, it'd be, he couldn't even see you even if he tried. It's still vexing. He really doesn't want you to have him all for yourself. Why not fucking Jimin?

"The orange bunny you got me." You explain patiently, pouting a bit. You try your best not to have your vexation be too loud but it's hard. "I tried the app but it won't let me."

"The orange-" You hear it when the gears click. He even gasps a bit. You kind of brought it up out of nowhere when you accommodated him with your constant complains and fights pretty much each time he wanted to talk about this subject. And here you are, opening up a conversation on one of them. You kind of get where the shock is coming from. "Oh, the Gala thing." He even knows its name. "What- How isn't it working?"

"The app says I'm too drunk to use it." You quetch, glaring at the toy laying flat on its back next to you. The asshole.

"The app says what?"

"Jeon Jungkook! Are you even listening to me?" Hysteria was to be expected. Because here you are sad and drunk and horny and highly frustrated and it seems he keeps making you repeat everything. And of course, he would because he can't give you his undivided attention now, can he? Because he's not a generous slut like Park Jimin, he's a useless prick. And if he keeps being one, and he keeps upsetting you, you promise to yourself, as an act of self-love and self-respect, you'll tell him he should be better, he should be more like Park Jimin.

"I am, baby, but I'm confused."

Except he doesn't need any bettering, does he?

It's like he's heard your thoughts. Like somehow, even with the distance separating your two apartments, he's been able to read them directly on the lines of your heart. He knows what you need, the soft and gentle and tender Jungkook who takes care of you, the one that doesn't show often, especially now that you don't really go out and get pissed off drunk together, now that you don't expose the sad episodes you might have to him in fear of being precisely confronted to this perfect torture. Maybe he heard your mind calling Park Jimin's name too many times and he tries to ensure his position. You almost tell him not to bother. That it was just a taunt, it's always him, just him, will ever be.

"What does the message say?"

"That I'm too drunk and stupid to use it."

"I don't think that's what's written, baby."

"But-" You're seriously going to cry in a second. You don't even know from what. The app really succeeded in hurting your feelings by not working for you and he keeps calling you baby, it makes your whole inside boil and scorch like a puddle of lava. "It's invisible letters, how am I supposed to read exactly?"

"If you can't read maybe you should just go to bed for now, hm? Figure it out tomorrow."

"No, now." Full brat mode is on. You know if only he was sitting next to you, you would have raised a hand to pinch him right on the back of his upper arm -where it really stings. It works usually. You don't hurt him, the guy is basically made of muscles, he's the kind of work out junkie that's enjoying the pain. He wouldn't fucking mind your tiny attempt of an attack, no matter the amount of anger and frustration powering it.

By telephone though, it's even harder to make him do something. Possibly undoable. The only weapon that you have is your annoying screeching voice. "You fix it! You bought this shitty thing so you fix it."

"I forgot how rude you get when you're drunk." He's still making fun of you. Not taking you that seriously.

"Jungkook, I'm seriously going to cry." The worst part is that you mean it. If regular menaces won't do, surely affection blackmailing should be more effective.

"Don't cry, it's fine. I'll check. Don't hang up."

As if. You did not plan on hanging up. Ever. You've decided.

It's too nice, cuddled up in your bed, with his voice, smooth and soft, saying words that you really like, like baby, in your ear. You've decided this moment won't ever stop.

"Junggoo-"

"One second, baby." You don't have one fucking second. You don't have any fucking second to spare him. When he's made you horny and lonely and longing for so fucking long. Why would you spare him any more? He takes too long. The time he takes, you prophet, will precisely be the time your vagina will need to dry out entirely.

Even his soft voice calling you baby won't serve to make you wet again.

That's a lie.

It makes you groan. Asshole, asshole, asshole.

"Oh." Your ears perk up. He's back with you, his voice closer than before, it seems, when he starts explaining, a hint of guilt shadowing his tone. "Sorry, it's my fault."

"Of course, it is." You mumble, face deep in your pillows. "Jungkook! Everything's your fault, always." You're probably being unfair. Or maybe not. Is he responsible for making you fall for him or are you to blame for doing so? Turns out, it doesn't really matter, because he doesn't even pay attention to the blatant, telling, honest truth you've just spurred.

"When I received the package I tried it once."

"Tried?" Did he really? The cute little bunny-shaped thing you'd dismissed earlier, cursed at and threw daggers at suddenly looks different to you. You want to pick it up and maybe place a kiss on the top.

"Wait- Not like that! I didn't actually try it! I don't have a fucking clit, what-"

"You just said that!"

"I meant, I tried turning it on and linking it with the app, just to see how it worked. Like the options on the app."

"Oh." Makes more sense.

"Anyway, it's not working for you because I used my email with it and you can only have one." So many words. God. "I have to invite you. Or delete my account and then you make one with your QR code."

You turn into the whiniest, most irritating little thing then. Just a jumble of dramatic cries, something almost sorrowful because your issue appears impossible to deal with. It's not that complicated. He explained it. Too many words, too much thinking, too much paying attention, too much to do and too much delay. How does he expect you to do it when you can't even read the invisible font of the app?

"Fucking invite me then."

"Watch your mouth." It makes you roll your eyes. It's not the first time he says that. He says with this menacing growl at the end. Like he means it. Like he's really threatening you. But no matter how far you go, no matter how many times you curse at him, he never acts on it. You want to tell him, you almost do, to stop promising you things he won't ever give you. There's a ping coming from your phone. With a bit of a struggle, you manage to put the speakers on, so that he doesn't leave too far whilst you take a look at the message. A link to click on. Not that hard, it's bright blue, unmissable. It leads you back to the bitchy app.

Now it's all nice to you. It lets you enter, presents even a picture of your own toy, congratulates you for being linked to it and to Jungkook's account. Of course, it would. Now that it knows you're friends, now that he's in the thing, this bitch of an app is being nice.

There are a lot of symbols, every-fucking-where. Some wavier than others. One is shaped like a music note. Some are just little constellations of dots. You click somewhere, just to try and see if anything happens and it does.

Suddenly, the bunny is brought to life and starts purring furiously on the bed. It startles you, looks a bit intimidating. It sounds angry and complicated with all of these fucking options. At least the other toys he's gotten for you had at most two buttons, one to turn it on and off, and the other one to regulate the three levels of intensity.

You might actually need a science degree to use that. Simply to adjust it so it's not attacking you when you turn it on.

You press another button. The setting changes instantly. It starts vibrating in a jerkier way instead of one straight line of frequency.

Tentatively, you grab it, sort of unimpressed and dubious as to the way this would feel good on you. You've already grown grudges against it. It needs to impress you, prove to you that it's worthy of the effort and of you even bringing it to your precious temple.

It sucks at convincing you. You've brought it to your panties and tee covered crotch, pressed it there, waiting, and it doesn't do much. It vibrates. Weirdly. It stops and goes again, in a pattern you don't understand and it doesn't do much for you. Doesn't turn you on, doesn't make you wet. Doesn't stimulate in any positive way.

You reach for your phone with one hand, trying to keep the other one holding it against you, and it's here that the whole thing fucks up for the last time you can tolerate.

How are you supposed to fucking do that?

Don't they understand that? The people that make those fucking things? That they're going to be used mostly by single people, with a single pair of hands? How are you supposed to manage holding it up where you need it, whilst simultaneously, hold your phone up (everyone fucking knows holding a phone up with one hand, and tap on the fucking screen, especially laid in bed, is impossible and the worst fucking idea one could have - except if getting a black eye is the project) and control the intricate dashboard.

"For fuck's sake!"

"What is it?" Jungkook is sighing heavily in your room. And for a second, you're startled almost off of your own bed. You managed to forget he was even still here, on the other line, apparently waiting patiently for- for what exactly? Maybe for you to wish him goodnight and hang up. You literally forgot he was here. You were about to get yourself off -if only this shitty thing wasn't so shitty- whilst he was still here on the phone.

Why doesn't it mortify you?

"How am I supposed to use my phone and the thing at the same time? Why- How? Jungkook!"

"Stop saying my name like that!" You don't ask because you know exactly how you're saying it. There's no proper balance in your tone tonight. Either you're whining his name like a desperate brat, either you're pestering it like a disappointed, aggravated mom.

"I'm going to cry." You say again, lying this time. You've already started. It's not a lot yet. Just a puddle of tears, in each of your eyes that are just about to spill, and the prickling sensation at the tip of your nose, the latter has already starting sniffling uncontrollably.

"Why?" He sighs again. This time, it's gentler. He might have just found the key to the secret safe holding the very last drops of indulgence he hides deep inside his kind heart. "Baby, the app is really for couples."

"But I'm not a couple, I just wanna cum."

"Y/N-" He chokes on your name. "There are buttons on the toy for you to use. You don't have to use your phone, okay?"

"You're lying."

"Why would I be lying? Look! There are fucking buttons."

There are, indeed. But they suck, you think. You do try them. Pressing on them while you stretch your arms out to keep the bunny's ears close to your covered clit. It's so much work. You don't get it. The buttons are hard to press on, when you manage to activate the little monster, it just jabs against your centre, falls over from your hand. You hate the jerking motion, try to change it because clearly, it won't do. It doesn't work. The buttons suck, the toy sucks and Jungkook is cursing at you instead of helping.

"What do you want me to do? Baby, I'm- Just go to bed."

You hate that he's telling you to go to bed, again. He's probably right. You're being a pain, an embarrassing one at that. You can't just go yet, though. First of all, the very reason you called in the first place, for him to make it so you can fuck yourself to sleep, has not been effectively resolved. And on top of that, the very resolution you took earlier, the one of never hanging up, of never drawing a period to this moment, won't let you.

"This one sucks ass."

"It doesn't." He sounds calm, a bit quiet, tone low and collected. You wonder if he'd dropped whatever he was doing, whatever distraction and laid in bed like you, to listen and talk to you only. That would be nice. You're annoying as hell, poor him, he deserves better, but you're thankful for him.

"It's stabbing, how can it be nice?"

"You just- I don't even know why I'm arguing with you. You're drunk."

"Am not, you are."

He scoffs, doesn't bother insisting. He exhales deeply. You sigh as deep. Your lids are heavy. Your brain is fuming too. Your head feels fuzzy. You could sleep right now. You might make a terrible night. You might have nightmares. You might wake up in a few hours, hot and very bothered, frustrated and on edge. There's a little ping messing with an edge of your eyebrow. You know it'll grow into a headache soon.

"Junggoo..." You whimper as if he could help you. As if he's the key to this headache, to lock it away, along with the rest of your tormented feelings.

"You're tired, baby." He comments. You would bite if you were in front of him. He really wants to send you to bed. "Just go to sleep."

You should. Given that you need a good five minutes to find the energy to open your mouth and mumble, "Don't wanna."

"Then what is it that you want?"

"Told you."

"Hm?" You're not saying it again. You could fall asleep right now. With his slow breathing in your ear. It sounds so lovely. Feels like you've never been this nicely enveloped. It's like those ASMR or lo-fi music compilation videos on YouTube. The ones with the short scene, often animated, playing on the screen. It's instant peace, instant chill, purely quiet, greatly pleasant. You love these sceneries. You even have a few printed on your wall. They are great to look at and try to project in, because it seems you could never create this feeling, this atmosphere in real life.

But you've reached it. Now. The perfect peaceful land. With the perfect soundtrack coming through your phone. You're comfy and warm, it's almost as if he was actually there with you, wrapped behind you, stroking your hair. God, you wish he was there stroking your hair and kissing the top of your head. But he's not here. And why? He should be here. If he can be on the phone with you, when he used to come over to make sure the blanket is nicely tucked under your chin, why can't he be here? Life's so unfair.

"What was that?" He's probably referring to the big loud thump, throwing his toy to the ground made. It's not its fault. Even if it hurt your feelings, it's not responsible for him not being yours. Or maybe it is. He wouldn't give you toys if he were yours. He wouldn't need them. That's probably why Jiyeun doesn't like them. Because she wants him to be all that's pleasuring her. The lucky lucky bitch.

"Your stupid toy."

"Don't- do you know how much it cost?"

"Never told you to buy it."

"Sure, but don't break it! I promise it's good. You can't-"

"It stabbed me!" You accuse, petty.

"You- are insufferable." He sounds about done. Except he's not because he seems to want to prove you wrong, still. The toy on the ground starts shaking back to life. Curiously, you roll on your belly, throw a glance to the ground. It's stirring, moving around slowly, getting closer to you as if it's trying to hop back up on the bed. "Pick it up."

You do as you're told. It's vrooming lightly, quieter than you expected. You can hardly feel it in your palm. The movement more noticeable from the timid sound than by the intensity.

"Oh. It's nice now." Maybe it does have a conscience. It's being all sweet and mellow because the remote is in Jeon Jungkook, international heartthrob's hands.

"See?"

It's really gentle. It turns cute. With its bright orangy-red shade, its two cute ears and its belly, a bit domed to allow a better grip.

Your hand has a mind of its own. If he were to ask about it, to demand an explanation, even when you'll come later, and wonder mad and revolted and half dying of embarrassment, what the fuck came over you, you'd blame it all on your hand. The appendix and its own personal free will are bringing the thing back to your crotch. "You can switch the intensity, it was just at the highest before." You're hardly aware of Jungkook still talking in your ear. The phone on speaker is still laying on the pillow next to you and he's selling it to you, while demonstrating, as if he's signed a sponsorship with the brand. It could be funny but you don't really care, more curious about The Gala and finally getting to know it.

Soon enough you realize that two layers of clothing, no matter how thin, are too much. You lift the hem of his tee, exposing your panties and the lines of your mound, showing through the tissue. It makes sense then, the shape of the thing. It has those two straight ears, or poles, with enough space in between, to tuck your clit comfortably. If you'd like. And you're not sure it won the privilege just yet.

For now, it'll have it but still over your panties. They're so flimsy that really the fitting isn't too far from its initial conceptualized use. "And the modes- see," It's jerky again. It goes for a couple of beats very quick short pulses and then there's a long, monotone one until the pulses come back again. You don't like that one. It's gentler than the one from earlier, that tried to attack your clit with an angry strong beating though. "You can just switch. If you don't like the fast pulses, you don't have to use it. You just try it out." You guess he's right. You just have to try it, tame it. Learn its functions and let it learn you. Probably. Sounds like a lot of work though. The other ones were really straight forward. Good, excellent for some - special shout out to the clit hoover, which is not actually vacuuming but blowing air, which made you cum so fast and so hard in the very first two minutes of trying it. You'd turn it on and it'd do the job. Next to your ear, rambling like a radio you'd forget to turn off in another room, Jungkook is explaining how there are dozens of preset patterns and an infinite amount of slots for personal creations.

It's okay. Sounds like it would do the job. You can already tell how you'll use it if you ever decide to give it a second chance after tonight. Pressed tight against your button, turned a bit higher, in a very basic, very classic constant monotone vibration.

He's switched it to another stabbing like pulsing, very fast and aggressive, you can tell they meant to imitate the pattern of a good pounding but it does little to nothing to your excitation. Really all it does is make your eyebrows frown and your premise of a headache is back. "Hate that one."

"Change it." Kindly, he complies. Another one. You can't really identify it. Maybe a slower thrusting. It's better than the last one simply because it doesn't nearly hurt. Doesn't do much good either. But maybe it's not doing much over your panties though therefore curiously, with eyebrows furrowed now in concentration, you lift the waistband up with a finger and slip the bunny under it. Tentatively, you try to set it nicely where it should be resting, your clit out in the open, hugged tightly by the two ears replacing your lips. It's kinda nice. Barely though.

"So is-"

"Wait, turn it up a bit. I can't even tell what that's doing." You mumble maybe a tiny bit petty, a bit bad faith remaining from the bad impression the toy gave you. It's not that you want to hate because you've decided you would. It's more intricate than that. You're too tipsy to even try and explain that though.

"That one is-" After a while, doesn't do much. The higher setting, you suspect he hasn't gotten up a lot, hardly helps. It does vibrate but it doesn't seem to reach enough, your clit hardly feels anything. Your electrical toothbrush from your horny teenage years used to do a better job at being a vibrator -and this even over your jeans.

You're this close to throwing it to the ground again and give up on it, once and for all. Jungkook would need to understand. It's not because he spent a lot on it, it's not because that strange lady he keeps mentioning insisted on its good, that you are forced to appreciate it. You don't see the fucking point of this one. It does look cute and expensive but is pretty much useless. No one needs a pretty, expensive but awful friend.

"It sucks."

For a few seconds, he doesn't say anything. You consider that he might have even hung up. But then, in the quiet, his voice too serious for him not to have taken what you said personally breaks out. "You're mean."

"I think- I think it's a good opportunity to decide- uh..." The toy is still active in your panties, under your palm. The realization slowed your process of thought for a second but the bigger conclusion that it brings is that really, it sucks. So bad you even forgot it was still on -and it's not you being too drunk to have a fully, 360 awareness of your body, honestly. "To decide collectively that you need, you have to stop buying me those."

"They're not all bad! You loved the other ones!" He accuses, apparently not up for the collective decision. You are probably made of confusion at this point. How many more does he feel the need to get you? Is it that great, that gigantic, that tragic of a frustration that he developed by his girlfriend not liking these that he feels the need to bury you alive with thousands of those? The secretive shelf at the bottom of your dresser already holds little to no place left for another pretty box. And as to the satin bag you use to store the toys themselves, in your bedside table's drawer, you can't even close it anymore.

"When have I ever said that? We talked about one, I said it's fine."

"That's not what you said." Honestly, right now, you have no idea what you said. You know that you didn't find great easiness in talking about them. You've never mentioned any and he never did either, apart from the very first one. You did say something positive about it, you think you can recall. "I don't listen to you anyway because I know how bad of a liar you are."

"Well great. Blatantly admitting you don't care about my feelings-"

He bursts out in laughter. You might be a little bit of a drama queen right now. The hand that is not holding the bunny against your mound -for reasons you don't care to address to yourself, probably for you being so lazy that it feels more like an effort to change your hand's doing, take out and put away the toy, rather than just leave it there quiet and not really bothering- did reach for your chest, in a very theatrical embodiment of an offence.

"That's not what I said, you brat."

"That's what I heard though."

"I said I don't trust your mouth when the rest of you is saying something else entirely." You roll your eyes. Hopefully loud enough for him to hear it on his side of the call. "It's my new passion." He starts, giggling like an idiot. "I won't stop for as long as orgasms will look this good on you."

Oh. My God.

Is he allowed to say that? Is he allowed to say shit like that with the most calm you've ever heard anyone speak with? Like it's normal. Like it's a simple fact. Like the word orgasm in itself isn't so foreign in his mouth. Somehow he makes it sound incredible, so delicious you feel the first proper impulse to your pussy.

"You've never seen it." You counter, uneasy, feeling somehow unbalanced and unprepared against what is probably a simple conversation to him but a real personal attack with too great of weapons to you.

"I've seen the aftermath. I told you already." You wish he'd be more explicit. His words are confusing. They're not telling enough. They can be so much, they might not mean anything. He speaks softly, tranquilly, almost whispers in your ear. It's simply late. It's more appropriate, it feels, to speak quietly like that. It's one of those midnight talks.

He wouldn't know whenever he is seducing you. He's doing it constantly without meaning to. It's just him being himself and you being too weak for him. How could you make out his intentions now?

"You really-" The toy twitches in your hand. He clicked on the switch button of his app again. You're not sure why. From the way he speaks, he might not even have realised. He might be playing with the thing, mindlessly, the way he does when he picks at the skin of his fingers when he talks. He must be because he's still in his own head, talking while the thing, the barely interesting thing, turns into something else. Entirely. It's a wave-like pattern. Growing from pure stillness to a slow, growing vibration that ends in an intense climax. You gasp. He doesn't seem to hear. "You really don't want me to get you any more?"

The second wave hits. "Oh- God."

"I mean- I thought, we were- that it was okay." The sensation is incredible. For some reasons, a technology you don't fucking understand, you wouldn't fucking understand now, every single build hits insanely hard. Each time as intense if not better. You're so close to moaning. If you haven't really taken a second to realize what you were doing, actually using the toy with him on the phone, without him even knowing, somehow you know you need to remain quiet. You can't moan out loud. You sigh loud though. You have to. "I swear with you it's so hard to tell-" It's so hard to keep quiet and the realization brings a grin to your face. You're not that vocal usually. Sometimes you are, with some of the surprisingly good sessions Jungkook's presents have been offering you. But it was conscious. It was you enjoying, wanting to build a bigger pleasure, make it more sensational, it turned you on a bit, you had to admit, to hear yourself. The pleasure the toy is bringing you right now is indescribable. The more you leave it pressed to your clit, the more you feel the heat grow. You know it's already too much. You hiss and sigh, and have to bite back moans each time the high top of the wave comes. It's too much and feels like not enough.

The greedy you would want the final hit of the wave to last longer than those very few seconds. Long enough to bring you there, make you fall over the top of the hill. But it's a teasing setting. Probably programmed specifically for overstimulation. You squirm and bite back whines each time it comes, flinch and have to fight to not tear the ears away because you know the sensation is a lot to handle, too much stimulation, yet you're already addicted, unable to act on the very fair, logical, and sensible decision you should make. You shouldn't even be pleasuring yourself with him on the fucking phone.

"Are you okay?"

Jungkook asks, after having stopped talking altogether for a minute too long but it's not like you were really in any state of mind to acknowledge it.

You don't think he's noticed yet. From the noise, hopefully little, that you were making, at most, he should be able to hear some sort of short breathing, for all you know, he might think nausea is visiting from all the alcohol you've consumed and you're heaving, on the verge of throwing up.

"You're not feeling well, Y/N?" It's his concerned tone. The serious one. The one he uses whenever there's no skip button to the conversation. Usually, it leads to him coming over to take care of you like he's your mother. Which sounds great in theory but doesn't always apply wonderfully in practice.

Sometimes you don't want him to see you looking green and gross from fever sweat; sometimes you just want to be alone and recover on your own without having him watching so dramatically concerned over your shoulder. And now, you wouldn't want him to burst in with your hand still in your panties, a sweaty, bothered, horny mess for him to be left shocked and possibly disgusted by. Maybe disgusted is a big word. Or maybe it's not. How inappropriate is it to masturbate with an unknowing friend on the other end of your phone? Is it even legal?

"I'm fi-fine, Jungkook." You lie through gritted teeth. You can't possibly be fine. You've put yourself in the worst situation and you still don't do shit to get out of it. Something is very much wrong with you.

The logical thing to do, the sensible one, would be to either end the conversation, hang up and then eventually finish yourself; or else, take the thing out of your panties, possibly throw it the further away from you and keep the conversation on if that's what you wish to do.

It would certainly not be to ask for him to turn up the setting because you now really much want to come.

"You don't sound fine."

"But I am."

"How much did you drink?"

"Not that much, Guk." He makes you frown, almost rips a curse out of you. Because all this serious talk is diverting you from your pleasure. It's not like you're going to have fucking alcohol poisoning. You didn't drink that much, honestly. The drinks were not even that heavy, except for the two disgusting shots your friend forced in your hands. "Seriously, I'm good." The building up pleasure has brought a new awareness to your brain, and honestly, you feel way more alert than before. You're far from drunk, no matter how much your behaviour seems to contradict that. You're good. You'd be perfect if he'd shut up or if he'd start half seducing you as he does. Maybe he could talk about your nipples again and what you should do with them.

He did say that. Now that you come to think of it. On top of buying you those toys, he did guide you as to what to do with some of them, how you could use them. They were not his direct advice, they were the lady's but still, he felt the importance to share them with you.

"If you are then just answer the question, how much?"

"Okay in a sec but can you turn up the toy's intensity, please?"

"Turn what?" You almost bark then. The whistling f of a very practical, very useful word you shouldn't yell at him rings to your own ear but you're strong enough to hold back. "Ah the thing, yeah, sure." What a sweetheart. A bit slow, but lovely. Your whole body contracts violently when the newly powered wave hits, the beginning of a moan escaping because it's so good, it's almost painful. "I had like two shots of-" Ah. "Something. I don't know what it was, just-" Fuck. "Gross as- uh." Holy shit, that's good.

You can't believe you've judged this intricate, revolutionary technology so bad before. "And then, like, a martini or two, barely and- and-" You're so fucking close. Each time feels like the final ascension except you get back to square one whenever the vibration drops back to stillness too quick to your liking. It's pure torture. And having to make a fucking list of your consumption that's so far back in your brain right now, especially when you know that it's pointless, is not helping.

"Wait-"

"Jungkook-" You don't know if you're begging him to stop thinking now, not get to the conclusion his logical train of thoughts is trying to lead him to, or if you're begging him to help you cum, maybe be nice to the bunny which only seems to be kind to him and make him make you cum.

"Why did you ask me to turn the thing up?" He already knows the answer. You can hear in his tone that he already knows. And frankly, he's a dumb ass for not realizing sooner. "No, you're joking. You wouldn't- not when I'm talking to you."

"When if not then?" Maybe frustration has brought you some bravery, or maybe pleasure has burned the very last remaining functioning cells of your brain.

"Uh?"

It's probably gone too far now. It still feels like he owns the key to the phenomenal orgasm you can smell coming. If you were to hang up now, you wouldn't even know how to make this shitty thing work. And it's not enough. Still.

Shit.

You're definitely wailing in a second now. The next sound you mean to conceal is a sob. Why can't you reach it? And how can you be so hyper-focused on it, it doesn't seem to matter what's going on with Jungkook.

You've gone crazy. Or perhaps you're drunker than you thought yourself to be. The last wave hits differently. It's straight-up overstimulation when you haven't even come once yet. Doesn't feel very nice but at least, it's the push you need to finally lift it up a bit, make a pause and eventually show some consideration to Jungkook.

"So you've been arguing with me, saying it sucks when really you were-"

"It did suck before you changed the setting." You assert again. Because nagging is the thing you're most talented at doing, apparently.

Silence ensues. In the defeating quiet you realize even the discreet humming of the toy has stopped. He's turned it off.

Something akin to shame is finally showing the tip of its nose. It's been fucking late to the party, you note with a growing, you know to become, devastating mortification. Exhaustion and tipsiness are keeping your conscience quite numb but you don't give a chance to sober-you who'll wake up tomorrow with this awful incident engraved in her memory.

Why can't he say something? Essentially, it's his fault. It's always his fault. He makes you feel things you shouldn't and make you do things you wouldn't. You can't think properly. You're being fucking chaotic and he's responsible for that. Even you know it's reaching. You're not that petty and mean.

In a whisper, dipped in sincerity and shame, you apologize. "Sorry, Jungkook."

"For what?" Because he can't let you off the hook that easily, can he?

"Are you seriously going to make me say it? You know why!" Here comes angry-you again. Getting mad and rude for no rational reasons, and here, awfully unfairly. He really deserves better.

"No, I-" You may have broken him. Jungkook has never been the most eloquent person. Between lisping and stuttering and stopping mid-sentence to let you complete for him his missing words, he's never been the best at talking. But even for him, even knowing his history, you find him pretty affected. Possibly all messed up. There's not even the hint of sensible thought. A void filled with "uh" and "tsk" and lips smacking and hums, it's like he's ceased to function. Maybe if you just hang up and from then on, just pretend it's never happened, both of you can get away with the situation. It's an option.

"Jungkook, seriously, I'm sorry. Let's say it was a fucking, uh, drunk lapse of judgment on my part and- yeah, never mention it again."

"Yeah, okay." He whispers after a while. He sounds really shaken up. "But it's fine, I'm not mad, I'm just-"

"Bamboozled?" You suggest, heart constricted, not ready to joke yet but so desperate to obtain at least a smile from him to prove yourself that it's okay and you didn't fuck it up too bad.

"Bamboozled, indeed." He chuckles, a bit breathless on the phone. You can't help the big sigh that escapes you when relief rushes through you. He doesn't sound too upset with you. "I'm really not mad, I just wouldn't have- I wouldn't have expected this, from you."

Of course not. It makes you cringe. You bury your face in your pillow and release the most intense quiet cry you could manage.

"Sorry." You say again, quiet. Your eyes are prickly. This night is such a mess. You can't make out how you're feeling. It's like your reactions and your reflections all come to their own rhythm, inappropriately, unmatching each other's and certainly unmatching the current situation.

"Stop. And don't-" If you're decomposing yourself progressively, at least, he seems to be getting back to his senses. Voice clearer and more present. "You sound so upset now. Are you embarrassed?" It's a smile you hear in his words. You don't have the right to be mad at him but honestly, you would have hit him in the ribs if he were in front of you.

"Is it even necessary to ask?" You grumble face half suffocating still in the pillow. Oh, here's another solution. Suffocating yourself to death.

"I think so. I mean I bought them and I turned it on for you, I should have- I couldn't have known but I should have. It's fine honestly."

"It's not."

Stop pretending, you fucking liar. Even if he acts quite calm, nonchalant, you can hear a very slight difference to his usual tone. He's not sincerely, honestly, a hundred per cent okay and chill with the situation. He's faking casualness but he's not entirely it.

"It is."

"It's not. I'm just gonna die, Jeon." That makes him laugh even though you're only half-joking. You don't know if it's possible to die from embarrassment. One thing is for sure, if it's possible, you won't survive the night.

"No, you're not, baby. It's fine." Jeon Jungkook is the sweetest, needless to say. You should hang up. Apologize again, hang up and pray for him to forgive you and eventually forget all about it. But you remain on the phone because you're so desperate for his approbation and his love and any sign of reassurance from him. And he's giving it to you. When he could probably have a little rest of his own. If it's awkward for you, you can't even imagine for him. But he accepts to stay and reassures you. What a cutie. "Did you cum?"

You choke on your own saliva. More than taken aback, actually shocked. How dares he?

Or can you say that? Can you act offended when you've just done what you did? In any case, how are you even supposed to answer that question?

"You- It's just that I turned it off and we- I was just wondering if you did..." That sounds about right. That sounds like Jungkook being curious and wording this curiosity without necessarily anticipating how you'd take it. It must be part of his plan, his 'let's be the closest, let's share everything' plan he mentioned a few months back. You're not ready, won't ever be if that's what it'll look like.

You are the problem. Apparently, you can get yourself off when the poor boy is on the phone with you unbeknownst, but you still have a hard time talking about sex with him. "...because it sounds awful if you did not."

And it is. It is horrible. You'd imagine that after getting caught, feeling so embarrassed and guilty, your cunt wouldn't still be quivering and begging for you to pay attention to it again. But you've taken it so far. Made it discover new incredible sensations of course it'd still be obsessed with it and with the climax the toy teased it with.

You groan in your pillow again. Not sure how he'll interpret it. Not sure how you want him to interpret it. Should you just talk to him? He could hang up too. If really he didn't want to partake in this mess he could hang up, he could talk about anything else.

"Listen, you don't ever have to be embarrassed with me, you know that." That's reaching. You want to tell him that he can't ever say that to someone, he can't ever become anyone's mat to wipe their dirty shoes on. He should be the one feeling awkward, being mad at you, except he reassures you again. "And when you just proceed on getting yourself off while I was talking- worrying about your fucking health..." He snorts before he can finish. "How dare you act coy with me!" He's just laughing too hard now, contributing wholeheartedly to the burning flush on your cheeks. Well, you deserved it.

"Is that it? You're going to bring this up each time you'd want something from me?" You sound so upset, even to your own ears. It results in his laughter dying down pretty quickly.

"I think so, yeah." You don't add anything. You don't want to be rude. Still hope for any kind of magic word you don't even know that he could mutter to you and that'll help cure your heart and soul. Therefore you can't tell him goodbye and hang up. You wait for him to do it. Except he doesn't. It's late as fuck too. He might be working later today. Why isn't he hanging up? "If I'm talking about it, you should know that it's fine. I don't mind." An asshole and a cutie. "You okay, babe?"

The simple hum you tried to aim for turns into half of a whimper half of a moan. You're not okay. Any part of your being won't let you lie and pretend.

"Do you want me to turn it on?" For fuck's sake. "I'll hang up and leave it on so you just- it'll turn itself off when there's no battery left anyway."

"Jungkook." Your stern voice is a threat. It doesn't have to be further explained, he gets it.

"What?" He sounds aggravated. You can imagine him raising his hands to the skies, upset and losing patience as he's only trying to make it better for you and oh women are so complicated. Something like that. "Oh my God. Just get yourself off and feel better after."

"You don't tell me what to do." Childish but there's not much left of your brain. "Well, you don't even fucking know what to do with yourself right now. Am I right or am I right?" He whisper-yells back at you. Very mean.

"Asshole." It's a tiny whisper under your breath but you're certain he hears it even if he completely ignores it.

"Listen, since you can't even- how old are you, seriously?"

"Fuck you." Barely louder. You definitely know he's heard this time, but still, he decides to dismiss it. He's always been more productive than you.

"I'll turn it on and hang up. You take care of yourself like a big girl, alright?" He probably believes that you can't get yourself to ask for what you want aka a wild night with the fucking toy you can't get to work yourself. But it's not actually the case. Honestly. Now all you can think about -besides the whole very humiliating moment when he caught you in the act- is the way it kept torturing you, bringing you very high but never enough. It started to hurt at the end, brought impatient frustrated tears to your eyes. You don't even think you could finish with it.

Maybe it's inappropriate to seriously consider it. Maybe you won't ever learn your lesson.

Before you even get to word your refusal, the thing is on. It's on the same devilish setting as earlier. The merciless wave. Fuck.

"Don't! It's not- it won't even make me cum, stop it!"

"What? Why not?"

"I don't know the setting is weird." You start explaining through the thicker pout to have ever existed. You're really considering having him solve your climax. You've gone crazy.

"What's wrong with it? Tell me, I'll put on one you like."

Fuck.

You are doomed.

What are you supposed to do with a guy like this?

"I don't think there is." You can hear the frustration from his end before he even says a word. It's written in the stars that in a second he's going to bring it all up, the part when you got off and pester that you can't still be complaining about the fucking toy. "No, I mean it's- the one I liked, the last one you clicked on, it's like-" Fuck, you're really doing this. "A wave. You know? It grows crescendo but it always stops right before- right when it's really good. And I just couldn't- because the good part doesn't last long enough and, yeah."

"Wait, let me look." He sounds a bit further away from you then. He's logged back into the app, you can tell. And with his tiny "hm" and his "so...", he sounds the way he does when your computer is being difficult and he's trying to fix it because you won't pay a professional to do it when you have this nerd populating your entourage. "Ah. You want the high moment to last longer?" "Yes." You can picture him nod to himself, frowning his eyebrows and sucking his lips in the way he does when he's super focused.

"Like that?" You wouldn't know because the toy is lost somewhere, you can hear it but not see it. You ask him to wait for a second and it stops altogether. Doesn't make it easier to find it but it wasn't lost that far. Once you have it in your hand, you gulp, ashamed, not sure if you could ever play with this thing again. But the other guy on the phone doesn't seem to have his motivation falters. You're not the one telling him to try again, on his own, he executes.

It's hard to tell in your hand, the vibrating ears hugged tightly in your palm, if it's going to be satisfactory enough. If it's precisely the thing that was missing from earlier. It follows the pattern you asked him though. Still to a growing intense high that lasts for approximately a good ten seconds rather than the lame 2 seconds from earlier.

"I think so..."

"Okay then. You... mute yourself and then- Uh, no. I should mute myself so- or we both mute ourselves?" He's not really with you anymore. Lost in his own head amongst those seemingly very difficult questions. You don't even get where he's trying to get at. Wasn't he supposed to hang up?

"Why would you stay?"

"It's just- it's me doing it. There's no setting for what you want, it's me doing it. I have to draw the frequency on my phone."

"There's an option for that?"

"Yes. There's even one to have it follow audio!" He points out with way too much enthusiasm. He might have really found a new passion.

"Sounds like high tech."

"Yep."

"Sounds expensive as hell."

He laughs in the mic, snorts even before he brushes it off. Quite frankly, no matter what you'd have to say to him, he'd always do as he wishes. If spending ridiculous amounts of money on ridiculous things for ridiculous you is what he wants to do, he won't let anyone, not even you, tell him not to.

You don't know what to say, he's not saying anything either. He suggested something quite insane: he'd stay. While his finger would be drawing shapes on his screen to actively give you your pleasure, he'd stay on the phone with you. Maybe it's a bit hypocritical or ironical, how it sounds crazy to you now while ten minutes ago, you had no problem doing it without him knowing. That's probably the main issue here, him knowing. That changes everything.

"But if you stay-"

"We can't both mute ourselves because I won't hear if you ask me to change something or- so you, you just stay like that and I'll mute myself."

"Jungkook, you muting yourself won't change my awareness of you being here."

"But maybe you'll forget about it?"

"Jungkook."

"What?" He sounds contrite then. Like an upset child who's being argued with. He's trying so hard but you make it so difficult, it seems.

There's just one thing holding you back. Until now you couldn't quite pinpoint it. And it's hard to resolve an issue you can't name.

But it just hit you. His way of insisting while making it seem like he does it for you only, to help you out and doesn't necessarily find his part in the cake.

"Do you want to?"

"Uh?"

"You sound like- I don't know what you sound like. You're confusing. If you're just trying to give me a hand and solely that then hang up and I'll just- whatever."

"Oh."

"Of course, it makes no sense for you to do this for me and stay if you don't want to, I mean." He takes forever to answer. For a second, you even peek at your screen wondering if he didn't simply quit the conversation.

It's really all you need to know. If somehow, to some extent, he wants you or at least, wants to partake in this genuinely. You don't want it if it's just a bro hand. You can hardly live with what you've done if he's utterly uninterested. But if he does want it, even a little bit, you might be wrong but you feel like everything would turn out to be fine.

"It's not that hard of a question." You try again because it almost feels like he's forgotten you from how long he's remained silent. He had put you on the spot, in this very conversation too, so many times, you have the right to do the same to him, at least once. "Do you want to stay?"

He cracks up. It's the very hard kind of laughter. With the boyish chuckles, mixed with the squeaky intakes of air. The one that always brings a smile to your face and usually drags you along the fit.

You have no idea what it means right now. It's probably the least appropriate time for it to show up. Therefore instead of making you smile it only reinforces the headache slowly growing at your temple.

"Aah." He starts by exhaling longly. You can hear the grin fixed on his face. "Yes." Your heart trips in your rib cage. You should have guessed it but you couldn't have imagined this answer. And him laughing to tears like a fucking deranged infant doesn't help. "Shit, sorry." He apologized when the remnant of what sounds definitely like a giggle resonates in through the phone.

"What's so funny, Guk?" Your words don't match your tone. You're high under pressure, unsure of what's actually going on. Jungkook is not cruel, you've known him long enough to know that he wouldn't deliberately hurt you, wouldn't mess with you so bad, for so long, even for a great laugh. Still, you can't be convinced that he's sincere. Seriously, how could you? The dude won't stop fucking laughing.

"Nothing, I'm just- I didn't realize until you asked me the question that I wanted to." Oh. "I'm an idiot."

"Welp." Could have told you sooner but I thought you knew.

"Mean. And, uh," It sounds like he's tossing and turning in bed again. You bet he's just gotten the exact same position as before. He's like those cats that turn around in circles again and again until they settle for the initial spot. When he starts talking again, his voice is hardly a whisper, you assume he's holding the mic very close to his mouth. "I should ask you too. Do you want to?"

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't want it, moron." Patience has run thin. Now that you're reassured you don't have to be ashamed and embarrassed anymore, you can simply be annoyed as you get with him.

Honestly, you're still feeling abashed but he doesn't need to know that.

"Quit being mean. It's not my fault I'm slow." He says, faking deep pity and it does make you snort. "Okay, well..."

"Well, indeed."

"You're making this awkward!" You roll your eyes. Feels like you can sort this out. If you do take out the very blatant, scorching awkwardness, it's a very regular interaction between you. Sounds like any other day except in a second he's going to press a finger to his phone in hopes to make you cum.

"Your whole existence is awkward."

"Shut up. Let's just fucking start." He groans as if you're the one belating the initial step –you are but so is he.

"I don't have the fucking remote." He tells you to shut up again, and this time, when you hear him hum to himself when he's opening the app, there's a recognizable brushing noise falling directly in your ear.

"You put your earbuds on."

He doesn't answer but you're sure he's registered the question.

Fine.

If he doesn't want to give you an answer you'll just make up your own. Don't you put earbuds on to hear better? Just saying.

"Put the thing on."

"Oh my God, Jungkook-" You take back your own admission. He's the one, solely, all alone, making it painfully awkward. Sounding like a newly pubescent teen trying to initiate sex. "Could you be any smoother?"

"But-" He sighs. "Do you want me to?" How do you ask your best friend you've may have been in love with for officially a couple of months to please act like an ideal lover even if it's just very short-termed? He sounds willing. But asking is the most difficult part. "I can be- or do whatever you want, I just don't know-"

"I like it when you call me baby." Your whole face is scrunched up in a perfect picture of your intense embarrassment. Formalities need to get fucking out of the way and it's precisely what you've just tried to do. But holy shit, it's painfully embarrassing.

"Oh. Do you now?"

Here comes the smirk. Can't see it. Can hear it clearly. It's pretty much louder than his words even.

You want to tell him to forget it all. That it's not going to work if each fucking second he makes you feel like he's going to be using whatever you say or whatever you do against you later on. You decide to demonstrate exemplary patience, reminding yourself that he's not cruel. Admittedly.

Perhaps you're the idiot and it's all your fault. Because you've just admitted (without him even asking) that you like (and into these circumstances, that it turns you on) to have him call you baby. Thing that he does already every time he starts coddling you.

"Okay then." He startles you, clearing his throat. You wonder if he's as anxious as you are, or at least, a tiny bit nervous. For the most part, he doesn't seem like it. Then again, he's quite good at pretending.

It shows soon after when he starts again, this time with the gentle, soft voice he hardly ever uses with you. There's a tiny newcomer, a certain edge that gives it some firmness and that enchants you. That's exactly what you wanted him to be. "Put it on, babe."

You nod wordlessly, omitting that he can't see you and do as told. Slipping the toy under the waistband of your panties, guiding the ears aside your clit. There's a very faint buzzing coming from them. You barely feel it and you suppose it's just there to have you accommodate better.

"Are you still dressed?"

"It's just my panties and a big shirt." Your shirt you'd add if you had a bit more courage. You hope he's going to let you keep it.

"Take your panties off." The part of you who's his best friend wants to nag, tell him that maybe he should have asked that before demanding you place the toy on your cunt but you feel generous and merciful, and also desperate and tired of your orgasm being stalled for so long. "Are they soaked from earlier?" Okay, this shit's going to be hard. There's no coming back. Strangely, it's just now that it's really hitting you. Even if it's going well, there is no way, you'll ever forget his velvety smooth whisper saying those words. There's no way you're helpless cunt ever forgets.

They are, by the way. You don't even get how you've been able to keep them on and ignore the uncomfortable stickiness for this long. Just sliding them along your thighs feels disagreeable.

"Y/N." Sounds like you're getting scolded. And even if you particularly like the way he just said your name, with that same peculiar edge from earlier, a little sharper then, how are you supposed to answer that? "What did you say earlier? That it can't only be for you, is that right?"

"Yes." You admit sheepishly because now you're definitely getting scolded. It brings flush on your only newly temperate cheeks and you don't even hate it.

"Then I'll give you everything, I told you I would but I'll need you to give me some back. Can you do that?" He sounds so strict, how can you like it so much? You can literally feel the electricity along your spine, sliding down to go faint in the hot mess between your thighs and that's ridiculous. You hate being talked to that way, usually, probably because it's never him doing it. Jeon Jungkook might be your ultimate kink. And somehow, he figured it all out. That whatever he'd do would fit you perfectly well. Also, he might be turning like that because undeniably, you're a brat. "Can you?" He insists again because whilst you've been busy trying not to hyperventilate, he's been waiting for one answer.

"Yes. Yes, I can. Sorry."

"Don't apologize, it's fine." You should want to bite him. Why insist so much if it's to end up leaving you off the hook so easily? You know though, for a fact, awfully bothersome to your ego, that if he were in front of you presently, you'd give him puppy eyes and batting lashes, sad pouty lips and probably tend your neck to invite him to gently pat your hair. "Tell me, are your panties soaked?" "I think I ruined them..."

"You did, didn't you?" He's laughing a bit, kind of full of himself for some reasons. Maybe he knows that it's mainly his fault they ended up this way. Maybe he knows they are not the only pair fallen victim to simply the thought of him. "Was it worth it?"

"You're taking care of me so I'd say yes." A chortle. A purr that you interpret into something you like a lot. It sounds like he's taken your response for exactly what you wished him to. A tease. He makes your belly churns and twists, turns your nerves from your heart to your noggins haywire. The least he can allow you to do, the least you'd like to do, is for him to be affected by you.

It starts with a gentle buzzing. It's nothing much. Nothing at all, you'd say if you'd let your greediness and impatience talk. There's something else doing it for you, for now. Jungkook's breath, sort of heavy, slow, rocking you with warmth. Knowing he's here and here to please you; you're laid in bed, naked from the waist down, wet and about to make it all better thanks to him; the picture itself makes it all for you.

"How is it?" Jungkook asks after some time. It's been silent. You haven't said much, in fact, you haven't said anything yet. Not that ready to demand more, and not feeling enough for moans or whimpers or whatever to be stolen from you.

"Boring." You admit. "S'not what you were supposed to give me." Through a thick pout, you deplore.

It doesn't work. He doesn't care. He doesn't fucking care when he's playing exactly the role you've implicitly asked him to play. "Have you said please, even once?" You hate that he's virtually pinning you down with exactly what turns you on.

"I- Probably." You haven't said much. You haven't been so explicit, so telling simply because you couldn't, but surely, you said please. Didn't you?

"Not probably. You did not. And on top of that, you're complaining." He's figured out exactly what you wanted, what you needed. Therefore, as naturally as it came for him, you fit it your own role easily.

"I'm not complaining. I was just- pointing it out. Sorry."

"You can apologize a lot but you can't even say please. Not once." Well, fuck. You never thought that he could be mean. Awfully mean. You wished, when you let your mind wander there one too many time, a bit too deep, that he'd be like that. Sweet and soft and tender the way he is, always, but also, bad, kind of harsh. "Ask kindly, once."

"Jungkook-"

"I'll give you everything you want. Just once."

"Please, Jungkook." You know he's satisfied with what you offer him because you don't have to wait another second for him to give you precisely what you were waiting for. It's timid, follows the crescendo built you were looking for except it's not intense. It's the first step however it's incredibly effective. It feels as good as the first time. "Plea-please." Manifestly, it is the secret word, the passcode to your pleasure because the intensity you're craving for finally reaches you. It does in an electrifying peak, that lasts long, just like you asked, it's so good, the feeling so perfectly indulgent to your needs, maybe even too much, you squirm, part the little ears from your clit, hissing. "Shit, Jungkook!"

"Too much, baby?" The hypocrite, with his concerned tone, doesn't even take a break from activating the vibration, from keeping on building the intensiveness. You can tell it's he too, him really doing it live, as in it's not absolutely regular, the built sometimes takes longer, sometimes the volume stronger, other times weaker. It's undeniable, every minute of it feels different from the next, you can't even omit for a second that it's him doing it. And he's doing it so well.

"Per- fect, just- sensitive." You moan out. Back arching, right leg twitching. The next brush is particularly nice, goes so far you believe you might come on the spot. Now you definitely can't hold back even if you wanted to. The sounds that come out of your mouth, foreign to your own ears, are not even yours. They come straight from your body, straight from an excess of pleasure you try to deal with, to handle, when you clearly can't. You're alone, and it's you ultimately controlling the power on your own body, you can pull out, even slightly, every time it comes hard and strong and you ought to twitch uncomfortably. You wonder how it'd be if he were here with you. If he forgot just for a while that you were his best friend, the girl who used to be older and taller and has turned, with the years, into this tiny little thing because he just kept on growing and growing, sprouting like a fucking redwood, and now feels like he needs to protect and care for you. If he were there, and he could forget that, you bet, his present voice, heated, scorching, is telling you this, that probably, he'd hold you down, crush your body with his, hand pressing your thighs down and apart, and force you to take the pleasure in its entirety. You imagine him merciless, slipping sweet words in your ear, while he'd have you literally scream from overstimulation.

And then his voice, the perfectly alluring thing, concludes to let you know it won't happen like that. His voice will make you come.

"You sound so good." Especially, if he keeps saying shit like that, with this tone, soft yet strong and highly, terribly affected. He's breathing hot and heavy in your ears. Is he touching himself?

"Please, Jungkook." You implore, vainly, hips slowly grinding against the toy, pressed by your palm on your sensitive centre.

"Especially begging, 'sound so, so good." He's not touching himself. He sounds bothered, but not enough, he doesn't stutter like you do, his voice doesn't jump and dip, stops momentarily like yours does. Shit, you wished he would play with his cock. Fuck, you want to play with his cock. So fucking bad.

"Y-you like it?" You ask, not because you're curious to know, he's said it already, but because you won't ever get tired of hearing him say it, in all those different ways.

"I do, baby. I love hearing you." You can't help the curse that leaves your lips a bit harsh. You're so close. So so close. Eyes filled up to the brim, tip of your nose wet. How many times have you thought, already, that you were seriously going to fall over? "You gonna cum?"

"I can't-" You sob, whine. There's a tear spilling from your right eye. "It's too much." So attentive to your every word, the intensity drops drastically. It still buzzes, discreet, way more tolerable. Ironically, if you can now bear it, you know it's not enough to lead you to your climax either. "Help me, make me cum, Guk."

"Use your fingers." He's been nice, essentially, you can only be good to him. Without even having to think about it, you dip your fingers in the mess that is your cunt. Two fingers slip in between your lips too easily, you could add a third if only there wasn't the bunny taking a bit too much room, and your fingers were longer, and your hips not so twitchy. If Jungkook was here, if only he was here, he'd fit his two fingers and it'd be enough. You bet it'd be enough. You bet his pretty, long, tattooed fingers would stretch you so well and make you come in a heartbeat. "Fuck yourself with them."

It's so gratifying. Having him humming in your ear encouragements and compliments. He's sweet, sweet, sweet. Excellent with his voice. Fuck, he must be unreal with his fingers, with his mouth, with his fat cock.

Diligently, you drag your fingers in and out, it's only mildly agreeable when you're sopping wet, almost gaping. Until he draws on his phone the same magnificent pattern from before.

You wish it'd last longer. It's precisely what you needed, the ideal combination. Along with his words.

You know if you come he'd have to stop. He'll stop calling you baby, stop saying how sexy you are, use all those nasty words he never does and talking like that, with this voice, with this heat in his tone. It's a bothering thought at the back of your mind you have to actively push away.

There's nothing you can do when harshly, yet with a please, he demands you to cum.

You can feel your cunt, wide open from both your spread legs and the excitation, getting wet, growing soaked. You can actually feel it as it happens before you explode. Clenching violently around your fingers, spilling all over them, you might squeak and scream and moan his name continuously, you barely hear yourself through your ringing ears.

"Fuck, Jungkook..." You sigh. Laying there, boneless, hand dripping up to your wrist. He's chuckling. "Fuck."

"Feeling better?" You hmm in response. Words sound like too much effort right now. Your brain is working slow. Extremely slowly. There's a multitude of thoughts forming though, germinating from a strange ground.

One, in particular, does, enlarging ridiculously much next to the others. You could enjoy this luck. You could just bathe in the lovely, perfect haze. Accept that the sky is perfectly blue without a cloud, with even a rainbow somewhere. Maybe a double rainbow even.

There's a very, very dark, very, very large cloud invading your perfect sky though. And because tears, of another kind, have already located your eyes, the new ones fit in, mixing up with them and taking over them with utter ease. What the fuck have you done?

"Jungkook, I'm so sorry-" You start with a tremble in the voice. There's a fat lump in your throat.

"Why? What's going on, baby?" He's sweet as honey, back to his usual self, worried, and you're horrible.

"Your- I didn't even think about her and-" There's a sob bubbling out of your mouth. "It's not me. I didn't mean to-"

"What are you talking about?"

"Jiyeun." The taste in your mouth when you say her name, is unbearable. You know full fucking well you shouldn't say her name. You shouldn't be allowed to. How dare you. Spoil it when you spent way too long virtually getting in this guy's, who's someone else's boyfriend, pants.

"Dumbass." It makes you choke on your own sobs. "It's over. With her, I mean. We broke up." Ah. You want to ask a billion questions. Starting with "again?". Soon followed up by a "why didn't you say anything, dickhead?". You spent the whole fucking night, getting shit faced and spiritually crying in the club over a couple that does not even exist anymore. Then you'd ask for how long they are planning to be over. "For good, this time." You're barely drying up your fat crocodile tears when he calls you an idiot again, says something about how he's not that kind of guy and you should know it.

Feels better. The thunderstorm is gone.

Alcohol and horniness and hardcore loving are such a terrible combo you need to avoid.

"Cuddles." Tiredly, half-dead, but still alive enough to be greedy, to feel sensible, skinned and want him to give you more. "Come cuddle." He's late to answer, delays it as if you don't desperately need his response.

It's terribly quiet and still. The dark of the night seems even more sombre. He can fix everything if only he'd give you the answer you desire.

"You sure?"

"Always." You say, maybe too honest. He doesn't seem to mind, agrees with a snort.

"Alright."

He appears in front of you in the blink of an eye. Literally. That blink does last longer than usual. The orgasm may have crushed you. You close your eyes and when you open them back up, he's here. Standing in the doorframe of your bedroom, dressed in all black and oversized, as usual. You look up, eyes squinted, bothered by the light coming from the hallway. He's staring. Gaze brushing, from your head to your toes, seemingly slowing down when they reach your naked thighs.

"What?" You mumble, embarrassed, one hand sliding down just to make sure the hem of the shirt is covering your crotch. You didn't even put your panties back on. You may or may not have wiped yourself clean enough with the wet wipes wisely sitting on your bedside table -you thought about it really hard but you can’t remember if you actually did it.

"You never mentioned it was my t-shirt you were wearing." You shrug. You'd have a better come back if you weren't so tired and if it wasn't simply true. "Would have been nice to know." He says, kneeling down next to your bed. The latter is low, mattress barely raised from the ground and even when he's crouching down, he's hovering above you, looking down on you. "Easier to picture." He adds quieter the closest he comes to you. It's enough words to know who he is at the moment. In what form, what version of your Jeon Jungkook, has come to visit. It's the gentle one. The one whose voice doesn't raise, doesn't feel as animated as his usual one when he spends his time being a clown to make everyone laughs. The one that made you fall, the first time. Not exactly the one you had on the phone with you earlier and even if you like him, if you adore him in fact, you feel sort of uneasy, worried. He might be gone forever, this one.

Unless it is him. His hands reach forward, large and warm, they lie on your thighs. The fingers brush up a bit, to the hem of his shirt, and they stop there. He looks up from them, straight in your eyes, smiles, digs the tips in the meat of your thighs before he lifts you up, aiming for the border of your bed.

God. You hope it'll happen again. But differently. More in-depth. He'd be less dressed, he would manhandle you, before he'd do some unnamable things to you. But another day. One when you're not almost dead. When you feel hornier and less soft and desperate for direct comfort to your swollen heart. It could be tomorrow when you wake up. If he's up for it. Please God, make it so he's up for it.

Jungkook hops on the bed behind you, huffs comfortably, holding your cover by a corner to bring it up and over the two of you. He fits behind you too naturally for it to be the first time. He doesn't seem to mind that you're so underdressed, compared to the other times, that you still have some remnant of your orgasm on you, that it's different. His arm sliding around you, holding a bit too tight, pressing you a tiny bit too hard, you're still hot from earlier. It's perfect though. You don't want him to move an inch and you hope, the hand that's wrapped on his forearm, makes him understand.

"M'not too clingy?" His own cheek pressed hard to your own, he asks, which is weird. How could he still wonder? He's never ever been too clingy. Even when you were kids and he followed you around before even asking if he could, he wasn't too clingy. The closest, the better. You deny with a uh-uh. He calls out for your name when you're fighting to keep your eyelids open. It's the most comfortable, the warmest you've ever felt. Like a cocoon of pure love and adoration. On top of it, there's his hard arms around you, his hard thigh pushing against yours, his crotch -with the feel of his member, slightly stiff- glued to your butt, and his chest, as hard as the rest, holding your back up like a strong wall. "I promise I didn't plan the whole toys thingy for that."

"For what?" Sleepily, you wonder, actually confused from exhaustion. To cuddle with you? Like you haven't in so, so long. Why would he try to apologize for it? "To use them with you."

"What a shame." You don't think he can understand. Diction is not something you care for at the moment. The hard laugh bubbling in his chest, rumbling, shaking your whole, lets you know he did, in fact, get it.

"You're so-" He starts but the thought dies way too soon for you to even try and complete it yourself. "I'll have a billion questions for you tomorrow."

"No." You whine. Because he's fucking up everything. If he believes you'll say it all to him, there's no way you can. There's no way you will. He chuckles.

Doesn't seem to be taking you seriously.

"Yes. And you'll answer every single one of them." He gives a sweet but pressing kiss to your neck.

"No."

"I adore you." Fucking hell. "I broke up with Jiyeun because I adore you too much. I realized I want to spend all my time and energy on my best friend." You don't even know what he means. You can't even hold your eyelids open now, you can't even keep your hand on his arm, it being too heavy and sleep having taken over most of your body.

You bet he's saying that just because he's guessed it. He's figured you all out and the asshole doesn't mind playing with your soft heart. He knows he'll get anything from you if he's this good. Hopefully, tomorrow, he'll have forgotten about his little interrogation because you're not sure you'll be able to lie. For now, he's holding you way too close for you to care. Whatever. May it last forever, this feeling.

A/N: DON’T HATE ME OKAY?! i know i have an issue with angst and endings, for some reasons, i don’t want to hurt my characters but i can’t get myself to write an actual fully happy, non-ambiguous conclusion, and i’m really sorry for it lmao.

i sincerely hope you enjoyed the last part of The Wishlist! Thank you immensely for anyone who’s followed along, please let me know your thoughts, i really really want to know :)

for now, i’m sending you lots of love and kisses, take good care of yourself and others, see ya very very soon :]

tag list: @safi4x​ @kai-kai-bookshelf​ @somewhereinthestarss​ @hsinmyheart​ @moonchild1​ @monvieesdaebak @pasteljoonie​ @fangirls94​ @jinsalpaca​ @ggukkieland​

[televisionboy]

this gif is everything skdjdjfn and this is my first alphabet! so give me love and constructive criticism.

taglist: @punkgeekchic @visionsofsweettea @adoresobs @am4sawa @reblogsfandom @evarolines @somethingstuffy

Timothee Chalamet Fluff Alphabet

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Dates with Timothee are very very comforting and new at the same time. He LOVES getting out of the house and going to a city where shops are lining every corner and small cafes with coffee to die for. But he also loves to cook you dinner and rehash your days. He’s quite a domestic person.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Timothee finds all of you attractive. But his favorite thing to do is whenever you’re reading a book or the two of you are watching TV, and you’re at one end of the couch and he’s at the other end, he loves to run his hands up and down your legs while they rest in his lap. Drumming his fingers against your knees is like a calming thing

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He doesn’t talk, at all. He’s an incredibly patient boyfriend who will sit there with you and sync your breathing while hugging you. He will listen for hours and hours to you talk about it. And if not, he makes tea for you and offers cuddles and comfortable silences. I mean, either way he always makes tea.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He would love a family with you, he knows you’d be an incredible parent to his children. But he’s content being young, having new experiences and getting to be spontaneous. If he had to think about it, he’d like one or two children and maybe a dog. Living in a cozy but spacious home, of course there’s a pool in the back.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

well, when he’s in the mood, jealous/mad he definitely will be dominant (and especially in bed) but he’s in no way so dominant that you will feel like his maid or a child. But he really doesn’t want to consider your relationship to be that way. Both of you are just you and treat each other equally. 

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He gets cold when he’s fighting with you. Timothee’s a bit like a younger sibling while fighting, he knows how to push your buttons and won’t stop until he see’s a reaction. But he has that guilty feeling wash over him so fast. He’s very very easy to forgive you because how could he say no to someone like you??

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

SO GRATEFUL. He spoils like no other. If you point out that you like a pair of earrings, they’re yours (it doesn’t matter that they’re pure diamonds) you mentioned that you want to see Italy? Tickets booked. And a great thing about him, on top of being a good listener is that he has a great eye. And he picks up on things and is quick to notice them. Which is a big reason he’s so successful in acting. Even if it’s something as simple as washing the dishes so he can relax, to something as kind as making him your very own fan gift.. he melts every time.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Mmm, he certainly tries not to but everyone keeps secrets. There are things that both of you prefer to keep private but he wouldn’t keep something like him kissing another woman a secret.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

You’ve inspired him and fueled him to become a stronger actor even if you’re not one yourself. Some of your advice is seriously helpful, and some are unhelpful but hilarious. No matter what you will tell him, he knows you’re waiting at home or even at his set with open arms, waiting for him to win an award and fangirl online to other Timmy fans. It makes him blush and cause a billion butterflies to erupt in his stomach.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He trusts you 100% that you would never leave him, and he doesn’t want to be one of those boyfriends who restricts their partner. But there’s a part of him that’s incredibly insecure and is convinced you can do better. There are some parts that WANT you to leave him and do better. He would never ever show it in public, but you can read him well. You’ll put a hand on his bouncing knee and kiss his jaw.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?��

He knows he’s a damn good kisser as well as charmer. You had been on a couple of dates with him, on one you mentioned that it was on your bucket list to be kissed in the rain. He made sure to schedule a date when there would be rain and he took you on a picnic. Towards the end, it had started to pour and you were trying to run back to the car but he grabbed your face and kissed you so hard but so passionately. His curls were dripping and the sandwiches were ruined but the feeling was incredible. 

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Rightttt after that kiss, in the car you were drying off and laughing with him while the radio was on in the background. The car was on but he wasn’t driving. Instead, he turned to you and told you he was in love with you. Both of you had said “love you” but never “i’m in love with you”

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

He’s on the fence about babies but he knows for certain that he wants to marry you. You know that scene in The Office where Jim shows the engagement ring for Pam and is like “I got it 3 weeks into dating”? That’s Timmy. 

He brings you to a premire of one of his movies and at the end when all the credit’s are rolling, it says “y/n will you marry me?” and when you turn back around, Timmy is on one knee and Armie is most likely behind him crying his eyes out. 

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

“Babe” “Baby” “Mon cherie” When you two are married, he’ll join you in the kitchen while cooking dinner and call you “Mrs Chalamet” before kissing your shoulder and beginning to chop veggies. It’s just incredibly domestic 

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

so so so obvious and so in love. He shows you off as much as possible and talks about you on talk shows until he’s sure that the audience is annoyed and SNL mocks him (and even then, he’ll continue)

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

he brags but he does know when to dial it back for your own privacy and humility. BUT that doesn’t mean he won’t hold your hand in public, or banter with you on a twitter thread even if you both are right next to each other on the couch playing footsie

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

He has a great eye and is quick to pick up on things. It’s almost as if he has certain senses and can tell when you’re having a bad day or upset. He just knows. It’s incredible. He’ll run you a bath and order cake to indulge yourself in before you even get home.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

The most sickley, fluffy, romantic, boyfriend that it makes me sick. Timothee would dye his hair rainbow and cut of his toes if it meant you would smile. On a more romantic note, he pulls out all the stops but it’s a bit more subtle?? Like he is very romantic but it’s not overwhelming. There’s no string quartet and private dining room but there will be jazz and dancing at midnight or a homemade “restaurant” with Timothee as a one man (messy) staff but it’s the best thing you could have ever come home to

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He’s your head cheerleader and the most selfless human ever. Will cheer for you until his voice goes mute and even then, he’s the one clapping the loudest and crying the most. 

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

both! Timothee is like a dog in some ways. He’s energetic and needs new things, to be outside, to be social. But he craves hugs and cuddling, he adores late night talks with you or watching you make him breakfast while he scrolls through Instagram. Like I said, a very domestic guy.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He know’s you like the back of his hand and he could spot you with his eyes closed and only by feeling your face. He knows your habits, and the food you hate, your terrible cooking skills, and the kind of dad jokes you tell, the anxiety ticks, and what shows you’ll watch over and over again.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

He’d go insane without you. You’re addictive because you have a pure heart and a dirty mind and he falls in love the more you show that. He brings you back the weirdest things that remind him of you. Stationary cards with odd quotes, an antique necklace from the 40′s, peach earrings (because he enables your teasing)

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He’s like the real version of “JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD” but a little more loving lol “I love you, but I’m willing to defend my fries”

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

I said that he’s like a puppy! he needs kisses and scratches to his head (free scalp massage) and he’s a clingy puppy too. i mean, look at his eyes for the love of god. 

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

he aches so bad. He is your cheerleader but he can’t function without you. You’re his cup of coffee, an antidepressant. He’s fangirling inside for your new project but when he sees your mug or reaches to bring you close to his chest and you’re not there, he’s unable to fall asleep or make a cup of coffee.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He’d travel to Mars and back if you asked him to. Just ask him, and he does it. One time, he was working on a movie with an actress who was quite snippy to you and he quit immediately, feeling incredibly guilty and nauseous. He got you very  expensive lox and bagels one morning because you were whining about it the previous night. He doesn’t want to close his eyes at night because there’s so many things he wants to do before he goes on to the next day. But when he closes his eyes at night, it’s all you, you, you, you, you and how much he’s overwhelmed with total adoration for you

[mythicalninjas]

Bloody Season

Donnie and Mikey X fem!Reader.

This is a serie of three chapters about Donnie explaining to his brothers about menstruation. His such knowledge was given by reader through a doubt he had during her period, and from deep researches.

Warning: SFW, blood mention.

Cramps, loss of appetite, lack of good humor, a heat bag being held against your lower abdomen to assuage the anguish, feeling that affliction hot liquid between your legs, "weak stomach", menstrual diarrhea; and also the pre syntoms: sore breasts, desire of sweets; should I continue?

It's frightering of how both body and mind change during the bloody days.

"I don't-".

"You need..." Donnie said softly while hold a sandwish to you.

"Donnie, I... I'm not hungry".

"You haven't eaten yet, Y/N".

"But-" You sighed "Okay..." You whispered, groaning while make effort to sit. You are curently in the Lair on a sofa of the main space. With shaky hands, you pick the delicious looking sandwish and spend a few seconds staring at it, forcing your stomach groan by hungry—which never has come. Being vulnerable and painful throughout those days of the week is something we could only get used a while after; it seems we never get used of it, like it is the first time every month we go through.

All your stomach does is protest to not receive the food, but you have to. Or you would get weaker than before. You bite, chew and swallow; again. Bite, chew and swallow; slow moves.

"Enough" you murmmured, handing the half-eaten sandwish towards the purple clad humanoid mutant turtle, who was only watching you all the time "I don't want it anymore". Donatello could see the discomfort in your eyes "It's okay. At least you have eaten something and this is what the matter" he assured, taking the sandwish and placing his massive hand on your shoulder and pushing you down carefully, making you laying down again. "Rest. If you need something, call me".

You share a weak smile as he walks away. Donatello is the only one besides April who understand perfectly your mensal unconfortable situation; the others know as well but not as much as their smart brother.

"Hey, Don. How's Y/N?" Mikey asked as soon Donnie enters the kitchen area.

"She is okay. Just tired" he explains "Not hungry as normal".

Mikey hummed in confirmation, nodding. Even being difficult to get exactly what is happening to you, Mikey has a deep respect for you; giving you space, silence, sharing support. Because he knew what is going on, but he doesn't know the why of it.

He wants to ask, but a feeling of shame prevents him to do it.

"Don bro..." he called.

"Hum?" Donnie answered while take a simp of coffee with milk and holding a piece of bread with Nutella generously spread over it.

"I know that Y/N suffers by... uh... menstrual season or whatever. But can you explain me why does she has it every month?".

Donnie almost choke with his coffee, wide eyes right at his younger curious brother. Menstruation is kind of thing that just women have, and it might be a delicated subject to be debated about, mainly among men.

"Well, I will explain. But I'll say what Y/N has told me, okay? I'm not an expert on it".

Mikey nodded, taking a seat as prepares himself for the "class". Donnie did as well, picking another free chair and sitting on the other side of the table, right in front of Mikey and signing with his finger for his young brother to lean closer.

"Okay, imagine..." Donnie starts, whispering near to his brother's face "Imagine you have an organ within you, lower in your abdomen". Mikey looked down at his plastron with a question expression "This organ is called uterus, and it was made to create, carry, and support a child" Mikey looked up at Donnie, with many facial expressions traveling over his cute face "Okay so, period is a woman body's way of releasing tissue that it no longer needs. Every month, the feminine body prepares for pregnancy. The lining of the uterus gets thicker as preparation for nurturing a fertilized egg. An egg is released and is ready to be fertilized and settle in the lining of your uterus. When the fertilization does not happen, the uterus eliminates all its stuff it had done. This is why women bleeds in this season" he finished, taking a bite of the bread with Nutella.

Mikey did not say a word, just stared at his brother's eyes.

Donnie tilted his head, waiting for Mikey comment.

"I didn't get it yet" Mikey said quietly.

Donnie groaned "What did you not understand?".

"How a woman can create a child alone?"

"Mikey!"

"Sorry! I know women don't make children alone. There are a fucking rush of questions running in my head now".

Donnie shook his head, biting another piece of his food. He doesn't blame Mikey at all, he knew that he's new into this kind of conversation.

"Okay, well..." the genius continued, calmly "Women are the only one who contain this organ-".

"This is what I was already aware." Mikey said.

"Good. So, the period is kind of "punishment" for women for not get pregnant" the nerdy summed up.

"Really?".

"Yeah".

"That's awful".

"Indeed''.

''But... Why they feel pain? Like, not just cramps, but others stuff".

"What they feel is similar—or same—to pregnancy symptoms. Actually it depends from each woman. For example, Y/N" he points at you "She feels weak, she has loss of appetite, cramps, etc. There are days that she feels okay during her period, but during others days, it looks like she couldn't even leave bed''.

Mikey glanced at you with sad eyes "Poor Y/N. And thinking that she has to go through it every month. I guess I wouldn't handle with it tho".

Donnie shrugged in agreement.

The both turtles spent a few minutes observing you sleeping, their minds—Mikey mostly—lost in a sea of imagines and questions. They want to ask you more about period, but they are deel timid for it. It is weird when men ask women about menstrual cycle, but it could be important to know what happens to women body during this time.

"So, when Y/N will get pregnant to not feel those stuff?"

"Excuse m-!"

They jumped as you aproach to the kitchen area, a tired face and messy hair difining your current mood "Hey, guys..." You greeted, walking towards the fridge.

"Hey, Y/N" Donnie smiled "W-Why did you get up? You had to have called me to reach you something".

"No problem, Donnie" you said with a hoarse voice "I have to make my body move a bit. I was too motionless. I'm okay" You take a simp of water, walking back to the coach.

"Hey, Y/N. Can I ask you something?" Mikey's question makes Donnie feel shivers running down his spine. The genius immediately grabs Mikey's arm to pull him closer and threatened quietly "Don't you dare ask that!".

"Sure. What ya wanna ask?" Noticing their sudden change of behavior, you quirked a brow edge "Is everything okay?".

"Yes!" Mikey responded quickly, and Donnie shares a dork smile.

You shruged, heading back to the couch. You knew they're hidding something, but you're not expecting what is coming soon with Mikey's curiosity.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Brahms's Lullaby ~ Brahms Heelshire x Reader

Note: Why do I love Brahms? Fuck if I know. Anyway, this is what happens when a a meek, cute girl moves away from her old life to turn the page and find herself once again...And yet, her dark past quite literally comes back to haunt her.

'That's one huge manor...' Y/N thought to herself, the back of her neck straining as she scanned it from the bottom to the very top of the roof. The grip on her luggage tightened as she gulped in anxiety, and after taking a few deep breaths, she entered in this house, and immediately got greeted by the elderly woman who was the mistress of the house.

Y/N wasn't sure if it was her who was just nervous about the drastic change in her life, or if the woman was simply incredibly intimidating, but hey, as far as she was concerned, this woman won't be staying with her, so she will be all alone in the house, taking care of a child...How bad could it be?

Oh wait. Y/N hates children. They are so loud, bratty, obnoxious, entitled, rude...And the list could go on for ages, but she couldn't loiter in her mind any longer, and instead, she had to memorise where each room was, and what instructions the woman was saying.

She couldn't believe it, but she was glad she chose to wear a pair of comfortable sneakers, for she kinda got tired going up and down the manor...But what could she do anyway?

The kitchen got introduced to her, the woman told her to keep the leftovers in the freezer, told her about Malcom the delivery boy and how he's the only one allowed to bring her stuff. Weird, but what could she do? P'haps the child has a very strict routine that they must stick to, otherwise they'll feel weird and uncomfortable. Who knows?

And then, she showed her the music room, and while she wasn't paying much attention to the woman who turned on the music on the radio rather loud, Y/N looked around, inspecting the musical instruments, especially the piano, and the music sheets neatly displayed - "Brahms's Lullaby" it was called.

"Oh, is the child a fan of Johannes Brahms?" Y/N asked with a soft smile on her face, as she gently traced her fingers over the keys. "Yes, he is. In fact, the child is called Brahms." the woman spoke a bit sharply, looking her up and down with eyes that almost seemed...Judging, for some reason. "What a lovely name. When will I meet little Brahmsy?" she asked, and as soon as she used that nickname, the woman's jaw got set, and Y/N could swear she was gritting her teeth in anger at her. "...Brahms. His name is Brahms. You will meet him right now. Come on." the woman went on ahead and opened a room, where a doll was sitting in a chair, neatly dressed like a gentleman, while next to him, crouching, an elderly man, who she could only assume was the woman's husband, the master of the house. "Oh, my dear Brahms...This is Y/N, she is here to be your new nanny. Miss L/N, this us Brahms, and he will decide whether he accepts you or not." ...a doll? She...Has to babysit...A doll? Well...The pay is good, and she's veeeery far away from her old home, so...No new beginning happens within your comfort zone, right? "Hello, Brahms, it's great meeting you. I hope we'll get along well." with a sweet smile on her face, Y/N crouched down if front of the chair and took the little hand of the doll, shaking it carefully. "...Fine enough. Now, could you give us some time alone? Brahms will decide now." with that look on her face, while the old man looked at her with pity, and...Relief, maybe? Y/N exited the room, only to see a man standing in front of her, wearing an amiable smile. "Oh, hello there, you must be the new nanny. I'm Malcom, the delivery boy. Well, delivery man. Nice to meet you." very charming... "Ah, yes, I've heard about you. My name is Y/N, nice meeting you as well." she replied politely, although she could sense the flirt he was failing to put forward. "If you want, some day, I can show you around the town. It's small, but kinda pretty." he continued in the same manner, and Y/N replied with simple answers, until finally, the woman opened the door widely, with an even wider smile. "Brahms has decided that you are suitable to be his new nanny, congratulations." how the human behaviour can change so drastically, doing a whole 180, in a split second. "Thank you so much for accepting me, Brahms! I'm sure we'll get along well!" Y/N clapped her hands together to her chest in a cheerful manner, as the elder man left as well, allowing his wife some more farewell words with the doll. "Here, I made you a simplified list of rules you must follow. You don't have to wake up at 7 in the morning every day like my wife told you, but you must make sure all of these are taken care of, alright, miss L/N?" the man asked, handing her the paper which she attentively read. "Yes, of course, I will do as instructed without fail. Thank you for having trust in me with your dear Brahms. Have a lovely trip and I hope you get a well-deserved rest!" Y/N wished them, and for a split second, she almost thought the man's eyes flashed with shock and sorrow. What was going on anyway...? This family is...Peculiar, to say the least. Well, no matter, she will be paid weekly, and with the pretty generous amount she earned while working as a doctor, she should be able to afford anything she'd want, so she won't get bored.

And so, the Heelshires left, and she was all alone with the doll - Y/N decided to make her new bedroom to her liking, as much as possible, with Brahms sitting on a nightstand, as she was humming whatever tune that went in her mind, and swaying carefreely.

"You know, Brahms? I wasn't expecting you to be a doll. But frankly, I think this is better. Children are annoying...But you? You're really nice. And you're not loud or obnoxious. I think we'll be great friends." speaking to a doll...I guess that's how far in my loneliness I've gotten. Tragic, really...She thought as she realised how much of a crazy person she'd look like, were someone to see her. "Since it's already evening, let's go make some really good dinner, and then we can play the piano a bit? Maybe even watch a movie together?" she picked up the doll and went to the kitchen, and looking in the fridge, then at the utensils available, she put together a nice dinner, and put it split in two plates, one for her, and one for the doll, and to keep away the boring silence that hung painfully throughout the house, she put on some LoFi music on her phone, and ate, feeling more peace now than she ever did. "Hmmm...I know your mum told me to put the food in the freezer...But it's better eaten while still warm. I don't think you'll like it if it's stone cold...So, I'll leave it here, on the table, and see how it is. If you don't like it, and you want me to put it in the fridge, just tell me, and I'll do as advised." ...Just tell me? JUST TELL ME? Girl, are you out of your mind?! As if a doll could speak...

After she washed her plate, fork and knife, she picked up the doll once again, and went to the music room, putting the doll on the piano, and cracking her fingers, she let them glide over the claviature, creating a beautiful melody echo through the room, and maybe Y/N didn't realise, but she had a glowing smile on her face, and she visibly relaxed and felt at ease, as if she was flying through the fluffy clouds.

"I haven't done this in so long, I'm surprise I'm not rustier. I hope you liked it too, Brahmsy. Now, let's go to be. Do you want to sleep in my room? Come on, I'm a bit anxious to sleep by myself in this huge, creepy house." she mused as she got to her room, carefully putting the doll on her pillow and after going to the bathroom to change in her cutesy Unicorn Pusheen nightgown, and turning on her laptop, she put on Harry Potter, one of her comfort movies, and cuddling with the doll, she gave it a little kiss before getting engulfed in the story once again, and falling asleep without realising.

Everything was peaceful in the house in the morning, until Y/N reached the kitchen to make some light breakfast, only to find a paper on the table, with beautiful cursive writing in ink on it.

"Warm is better, thank you :) "

Frankly speaking, it freaked her our enough to get a panic attack and barricade herself in her room for the whole day, her bedroom locked and too afraid to leave that place for the whole day.

Oops.

After this, days on end, and then weeks passed by uneventfully, as Y/N took care of Brahms with no problem, Malcom came by to give her the groceries, the pay and anything that she'd order online, she'd chat with some old friends, would watch movies, would go out to plant flowers and tend to the garden, would dance around, happy to bask in the warm Summer sun, would read whatever books she likes, with the doll in her lap, and she realised that she never felt more relaxed and free in her life.

It was pretty cool not having to work for money, huh?

But one day, when she was out in the garden, barefoot and with a cute, flower dress on, her long, beautiful hair, accessorised with a colourful flower crown, and she was dancing to the music on her phone, she noticed a figure somewhere from the forest. It was unmoving, almost as if it was staring, and it startled Y/N. It startled and frightened her so much that she quickly picked up the doll and went inside the house, making sure all windows and doors are properly locked, and the drapes are closed, so nobody could get in.

That night, she kneeled on the bad, an upset frown on her face, as she felt her eyes watering slightly, looking down at the porcelain doll of the little boy.

"It's moments like this when I hoped you were human, Brahmsy. Not a child...But a man. I'm scared...I'm so scared...I don't like being alone. There was some creep outside in the forest, and it was staring at us. What do I do, Brahmsy? What am I supposed to do...?" as she felt a few tears streaming down her face, she sighed, hanging her head down, raking her fingers down her face in mild desperation. "...Who am I kidding, you're just a doll, you're not human. Why the hell do I even bother. I'm going to die here, sooner or later..." her voice was filled with dread and resignation as she got under the covers, clinging onto the doll as if her very life depended on it.

Since that very day, she continued seeing the silhouette of a tall man, standing there, menacingly stalking her every single day, from different places, until she heard the phone ring, and reluctantly, she answered.

"...Hello? Who is there...?" she muttered, gripping the phone anxiously, awaiting and answer. "You don't recognise the voice of the man that made you feel good every night?" her breath stopped completely hearing that awful voice she hoped never to hear again. Instead of answering, she slammed the phone down.

But it rang again.

And again.

And again.

Until it drove her mad and she disconnected it completely.

It wasn't like anyone would call her anyway, and if they wanted to contact her, then they could text her on her private phone, or on social media.

Why can't she just get some peace anywhere? She just wanted to get away from all hell she was put through at home...But now, it seemed like Hell was inclined to follow her to the ends of the world.

The stress and fright from this increased when she received multiple pictures of herself from either outside the house, or even inside, which is when she realised the stalked from outside was, in fact, the one who called her on the phone. It was her horrible ex.

And one horrible night, as she gripped on the doll to dear life, walking down the corridors of the huge manor, checking for the thousandth time that everything is locked tight, she heard a noise.

What was she supposed to do...? She couldn't run out of the house, everything was locked...And could she hide? Not really, she was sure he'd check all the rooms without fail.

So...What could she do except try to hide in her room?

She waited in her wardrobe, knowing very well that, if he were to get inside her bedroom, he would check every nook and cranny, but even so, she felt safer in a cramped, tight place, than outside in such an open room.

Mere seconds felt like outright centuries, she heard the door slam open, making her jump in fright, her hand to her mouth, so she'd muffle any sound she'd potentially make from her hyperventilating. She knew, it would be long before he checked the wardrobe, but gosh...The anticipation made her anxiety skyrocket.

Until it finally happened.

Y/N found herself being dragged from inside her safe place by the hair, thrown to the ground, but not once did she let go of the doll that became some sort of a comfort object for her.

"So that's where you were, Y/N! I missed you! It's been a while, hasn't it?" oh no, that overly sweet voice...It's nothing but poison. It was so bad that her bottom lip started quivering with fear as she tried to crawl away from there, but obviously, to no avail. "Wheeeere are you going, darling? Didn't you miss me? Come on, give me a hug!" he grinned, grabbing her and trapping her in his arms, and she couldn't help but tremble in disgust and fear as she felt his hands roaming in places it shouldn't. "Why aren't you talking to me? Why aren't you saying anything? Come on, let me hear you voice! ...DO SOMETHING, DAMN IT!" ah, his facade crumbled much faster than expected, and that aggressive scream in her face as he roughly pushed her in the wardrobe door made her whimper and wrap herself around the doll, trying not to let tears fall down her face and just...Praying for all this to be over...To be just a nightmare..."What the fuck is with that doll anyway? Why do you cling on it, and not on me? Give that here." but she didn't let go, and seeing how she was opposing him, he forcefully grabbed her face before slapping her before snatching away the doll from her arms. "Sheesh...It's so fucking ugly. No wonder you stay with this, it's the only thing that would stay with someone like you. So ugly, dumb, annoying...You should be grateful that I'm here! Nobody in this world wants you! You're worthless and you deserve nothing. Do you hear me? You ARE nothing! Better thank me nicely for coming all the way here for you! Nobody would bother doing ANYTHING for you!" he yelled at her, as she cradled her face, crying, but also fearing being seen crying, remembering how bad it would get. "Don't her Brahms...Please...Please don't hurt him..." she begged and pleaded over and over, but it only seemed to ignite more anger in his eyes. "You only beg me with that sweet voice of yours...To save your stupid...Thing? Really, Y/N? You're pathetic. You're stupid. You're disgusting. Fuck you and fuck your stupid doll!" and with that, the jerk started slamming the fragile porcelain doll on the wall, ignoring the desperate pleas from the girl. "NO! NOOOOOOOO! No....! Brahms, no...! What has he done to you..." Y/N crawled to the place where the doll's porcelain head was slammed apart, and she let tears fall over as, with shaky hands, she tried to piece together the overly-fragmented head, only to get pulled back by the hair and slammed on the ground, as he pushed himself upon her, his hands grabbing at her exposed flesh, her light nightgown offering close to no protection from the lecherous predator, and her weak, noodle arms, just like before, offered no resistance to his significantly stronger, bulkier built, and no matter how much she tried to fight back, she knew...She knew that struggling never helped, no matter how much she tried. It never did. And it only made it hurt more.

But then...Before she knew it, a loud noise, like that of an explosion, or destruction, came from somewhere in the room, startling the poor girl enough to make her scream in fright, while the predator jumped to his feet looking at the hole in the wall...

Only for a pair of hands to slowly creep out of the wall, tredging along the wooden walls, and then, a head wearing a porcelain mask creepily got out, followed by 2 legs and a body. It seemed to be a man, very tall - In fact, taller than her ex - , but while yes, his dramatic entrance startled the two, the man only got angrier, ready to fight the intruder, while the petite girl only got more frightened by the commotion, dragging herself in the safest corner of the room, shaking, guarding her head with both her arms, hoping again and again that this was all a nightmare, and it would end already - It was beginning to look so much more incredible, like a weird fantasy movie...This can't be real, right?!

"Y/N! Help me!" the voice of a child called out her name, almost strangled and desperate, and peeking at the brawl on the ground, she noticed her ex trying to strangle the stranger, whose head was leaning, his eyes fixated on hers.

He went out of the wall as soon as she got attacked...He was trying to protect her...Maybe? So...She got up, trying not to attract the attention of her ex, and taking ahold of the lamp on her nightstand, she brought it down hard against her ex's head, making him groan in pain...But he didn't fall. He didn't faint, like you see in movies. Instead, he got up, glaring at the meek girl and snatched away the lamp, throwing it away.

"You fucking bitch...Now you've done it." his voice was so dark that she was sure this was game over, so she bolted out of the room as fast as she could, but the labyrinthine house was impossible to navigate, and before she knew it, she found herself in a dead end, with no escape.

However, instead of seeing her ex with the wrath of a raging bull, she noticed the stranger slowly making his way towards her, his shoulder slouched, his dirty, once white, tank top now splattered with fresh blood, as is the rest of his outfit. But his hands were up, almost as if to say that he 'surrenders', as he stepped right in front of the trembling girl.

"Please don't kill me. Please don't hurt me. Please, please, please, I will leave you alone, I will go away, I will do want you want, please don't hurt me." even her voice was shaky, her arms crossed to protect her face, and her eyes closed in fear, so she didn't notice the curly haired man slowly crouching down in front of her, his head tilting slowly, before he gingerly grasped her wrists, pulling them away with such gentleness that she never knew. It was so weird for someone to be so careful with her body...With her...That she opened her eyes, doe-like, looking at the man's wide eyes that peered through his mask. "I am Brahms." but this time, his voice wasn't like that of a child, but not did it sound rough and hoarse, like her ex's. It was soft and delicate, masculine, but not too much. It was soothing. And what Brahms once saw to be the most frightened eyes, remembering how scared Bambi was when his mother died, yet now, they had more of a curious spark. "I won't hurt you. I promise. Don't leave." the once tense girl visibly relaxed under his touch, as he let go of her wrists and letting his knees touch the floor, he leaned forwards, between her legs, to get closer to her, and touched her face with both of his arms, wiping away her tears, surprised at how soft her skin was...Is it was a flower petal feels like? He remembers overly descriptive books where women are seen as different delicate things...A flower, a fawn, a butterfly, a nightingale, the Moon, and so many others...And he could finally understand why. "You are safe now." he continued, thinking it would make the girl smile, but instead, even more tears leaked down her face, and she threw her arms around his neck, bringing him closer to her, his body flushed to hers...And he stood there, stiff, shocked at the situation he was in.

What was he supposed to do now? Touch was so foreign to him...But he loved it so much! It was so warm, it made him happy! He wanted the girl to be closer and closer to him. He remembers what she did daily to his doll - What was it called...A cuddle? - Yes, he wanted that. He NEEDED that.

He hated that man touching her - He was hurting her - Only HE can touch her. He deserved to die. He deserved to fuck off. All he has to do is get rid of the body, and the rest can go on as it always has been - Except, instead of Y/N cuddling the doll, she will cuddle him every night, and she will kiss him.

"Thank you, Brahmsy. Thank you. Thank you so much." she continued thanking him over and over again, but he didn't answer. Instead, his hands slowly made their way on her waist, then went to the curvature of her hips, then to her thighs, and without any warning, he lifted her up, indirectly forcing her to glue herself to him even more - Not before hearing her cute squeal of surprise - And he carried her to one of the guest bedrooms, shivering a bit as he felt her warm breath on his bare neck - It excited him, but he didn't understand really what it was - But it was enough to make him bite his lip behind the mask and his grip on her thighs strengthened a bit, under the pretext of making sure she doesn't fall by mistake.

Luckily, he reached the bedroom and closing the door behind, he got in bed, holding her close as she stood in his lap, so close that he could feel her rapid heartbeat slowing down little by little. It was no misunderstanding, she was getting more and more comfortable around him. He was her protector, and he wasn't going to let anyone hurt her ever again. She was his. Nobody else's. Only his.

They stood like that for a while, just holding each other and calming down, before Brahms turned the both of them to the side, and he hugged her tightly to his chest, playing with her hair, not letting her go for the whole night. His embrace was warm, and Y/N felt so safe - As never before, not even in her parents' home. She felt...Good.

The next day, she woke up still in Brahms's arms. She wasn't sure if he woke up or not, but she leaned to plant a soft kiss on the forehead of the mask, as she raked her fingers through his dark, curly hair, but before she knew it, a pair of arms wrapped around her torso, hugging her close to his chest.

"Good morning, Brahms. Did you sleep well?" her sleepy voice was so cute...He wanted to wake like this every day...As an answer, he merely nodded. "I'm happy to hear that. Come on, we have to eat breakfast, then take a shower...And after that, we can do whatever we want. Sounds good?" she asked, getting up and holding his arms, urging him to follow her. "No shower!" ah, the childish voice again, I see... "Then...How about I shower with you? I have some cute rubber duckies, if you want." she tried to appeal to his inner child, which seemed to pique his interest. "...Only if you wash me." he muttered, making the girl chuckle. "Okay, sure, sure. Let's eat something first. I think there's some milk and cereal." she remembered how much she loved to eat that every morning before going to school, when she was little.

She prepared two bowls and they ate in silence, until Brahms muttered that he wants to hear the music she usually puts when eating - And grinning at him, she put on LoFi music once again, which seemed to make the boy happy too.

After that, they went to the bathroom, and while Brahms waited for the tub to get filled, Y/N went to get the clothes in the washing machine, while getting some fresh clothes for the both of them. Apparently, he actually had other clothes, he just didn't want to bother washing or changing...For who knows how long...

As Brahms got in the tub, only briefs on, playing with the duckies, Y/N kneeled by the tub, taking the flower-scented showed gel and the sponge.

"Get in the tub too." Brahms put his arms on the tub edge, leaning his chin on them, looking at her attentively. "We don't have much space in the tub." she explained, but he had none of it. Instead, he rose from underneath the water, picked her up with a weird ease, and got her in the tub, not before splashing her, so her nightgown was soaked so she couldn't protest anymore. "...Fine, you got me. Let me clean you, then." she shook her head with a sigh as she heard him chuckle, gripping her wrists and pulling her to sit on his lap. Did he really like it that much, she wondered. "Can I shave your chest and neck, Brahms?" she asked as she trailed her hands over his chest, shoulders and arms, scrubbing with a sponge, one hand always finding its way on either her hip or her leg. The answer came in the form of a nod, and she reached to the sink to get a shaving blade and very carefully, making sure not to irritate his skin, or cut him by mistake, she cut down the overgrown, stinky, unwashed hair. In the end, his skin was finally clean and soft and smelling like roses and vanilla. "Let me sit behind you, I have to wash your hair." he seemed pretty exited, feeling her legs on either side of him, his head leaning back so her fingers could work miracles - He felt in heaven - He was so spoiled, and he loved every second of it. The shampoo smelled really nicely too, he had to admit. But her fingers massaging his scalp...Ahhh, it was so perfect, he was almost sure he'd fall asleep. "Let me wash you too!" he said, and in a split second, he could feel the girl's body stiffen, her eyes going wide, and her face...It was beginning to turn pink...? Was she...Blushing? "Ah, uhm...Well...Y-You can wash my hair, if you want?" she was stuttering! So cute! So cute, in fact, that he pinched both her cheeks, and they felt like marshmallows. "H-Hey, stop, that hurts." she pouted as he teased her. He loved that. "Yay!" Brahms cheered as he got her back glued to his chest, his hand gingerly tracing her neck, making her lean her head back, just as he did...But why did he like the sight of his hand wrapped around her neck? He didn't want to hurt her...But the visual was getting him feel weird things.

He followed the same routine as she did to him - Massaging her scalp, putting shampoo, rinsing, then this...Conditioner? Oh, it smelled nicely...And this is called...Hair mask? Ah, this is coconut scented! And she is smiling! She has a kitty smile! She looks like a cute little kitty!

After the bath time was over, Y/N wrapped him in a bathrobe, and while he wasn't paying attention, she quickly took off her nightgown and put another bathrobe on tying it tightly, and guiding the man back to their room, so she could use a hair dryer to dry both their hair, before brushing it neatly, so they could dress up...And he insisted she dressed in that cute, flowy, flower-patterned dress

"There, all good. What do you want to do now, Brahmsy? Do you want to go in the garden and see the flowers?" she asked, a bright smile on her face, both her hands holding his, and he could see her eyes were basically glimmering, pleading him to go out with her...But he hated the outside...Hmmm...

He grumbled a bit, but ultimately, he let himself be dragged outside - He hissed a bit, as if he was a vampire getting burnt by the sun, but after a while...He didn't find it that bad...? And the flowers in the garden were so pretty...!

"Hey, Brahms, take off your shoes and socks. Feel the grass. It will make you feel so calm and peaceful...Here, how do you feel?" she asked, intertwining her fingers with his. "It's...It tickles." he muttered, looking down and wiggling his toes to get used to it. "Come sit down with me. Watching the clouds is really relaxing." she said, helping him sit down, then laying on their backs. Instead of staying apart, however, Brahms pulled her close to his chest, her head resting on his shoulder. "...But it's kinda boring..." he muttered, as he started kneading her arm up and down, massaging it from sheer boredom. "Look, Brahmsy, that cloud looks like a bunny, don't you think?" she put her finger up in the air, pointing to one of the clouds passing by. "Ah! You're right! And that one looks like a dragon! And that one looks like a butterfly! Look, Y/N, it's so pretty!" his boredom dissipated quickly and it got replaced by excitement instead - Very wholesome, the girl thought as she looked at the person next to her getting so happy over such simple things.

They stood outside until evening came, and they could watch the beautiful sunset, the sky painted with the most gorgeous shades there are. "Let's get inside, dear, it's getting cold. We don't want to get sick, right?" she smiled at him, only for him to hang his head down, and then he took off his cardigan and put it over her shoulders and pulled the girl between his legs, her back glued to his broad, warm chest and his embrace made her feel so warm and at ease. "Brahmsy...?" she asked softly, tilting her head up, before feeling his chin on top of her head, but she was met with silence. "The stars are pretty. You are pretty. Y/N is the prettiest, brightest star. Y/N is my star. I love my star." his soft voice was heard, almost whispery, and after a few more seconds, she felt the softest, sweetest kiss on her hair, then on her temple and on her cheek, before his chin found its place back on her head. "I love you, Brahms." she said, with teary eyes, intertwining her fingers to his, pulling his arms closer to her and squeezing his hands. "And I've never loved anyone more than I love you."

Needless to say, that comment made the man giddy and happy, for he, too, felt happiest now than he ever did before. When they felt tired, Brahms picked the girl up and got her back to their now shared room, dressed in their sleeping wear and cuddled, yet this time, Y/N was holding him, his head resting on her chest, as she played with his hair, soothing, and humming a lullaby to help him sleep.

It was Brahms's Lullaby.

[junko-and-riri-domain]

behind closed doors, away from your eyes | ot7

— pairing: enhypen ot7 x reader — genre: angst, headcannon (kinda?), scenarios — warnings: general mentions of deteriorating health conditions, a mention of lost of appetite (in jay’s), it’s all angst  — w/c: idk — request: hello! could i request headcanons for enhypen with a gn!chronically ill s/o? like they have low stamina and chronic pain. thank you!! — requested by: anon — a/n:

lowercase intended + this isn’t really proofread. i kind of changed things up a bit and it’s more along the lines of enhypen after seeing reader “differently”

this has been in my drafts and i decided to post it today bc idk if posted a fic this week lol

i’ll be responding to asks later (or tomorrow) !! i’m dog sitting today :)

lee heeseung

a man who can do it all. “ace” has always been the persona attached to lee heeseung’s name. yet as he enters his apartment with the memories of your date still fresh in your mind, he can’t help but slam his fists against the door knowing that you were in so much pain yet there was nothing he could do to help you. he noticed the way you slowed down earlier when the two of you walked in the park, he noticed the way your hands shakily held his, and he noticed the way you are out of breath quicker than usual. he wanted nothing more than to take away your pain, to be the one feeling it instead of you, to be the one in your place. but no matter what he did, how many nights he stayed by your side, and however many times he held your hand, he just couldn’t. his phone ringing brings him out of his thoughts, quickly he answers your FaceTime call with a smile.

lee heeseung, a man who can do it all — even faking a smile in front of the one he loves the most. 

rest of the boys under the cut !!

park jongseong / jay

as the life of the party, being with you was no different. jay liked the way you rolled your eyes before laughing at one of his jokes or your eyes shone before you smiled at his attempts to do aegyo. but earlier today,

“jay, i'm just not hungry right now,” you said with a frown. you were thankful for his efforts but despite all the food in front of you that jay had cooked, you didn’t feel like eating.  

“where does it hurt? can i give you a massage?” he offered. you shook your head no,

“can you just take me home please?” 

after taking you home and heading back to his own, jay threw out the food, sighing as he did so. he didn’t know what to do anymore, he knew that there wasn’t anything he really could do aside from being a part of your support system but the days that he felt you slipping away with him, he wished you’d take him with you, into the depths of your mind just as how you were in his. instead, all he could do was be there in the ways that you’d allow him to.

park jay, the life of the party — even if it was a party of one.

sim jaeyun / jake

saturdays were the days you and jake went on a walking layla date but today, he was doing it alone. you were in bed and told him to take layla and not wanting to press you on any further, he simply kissed the top of your head and told you that breakfast was waiting on the counter whenever you ready for it, jake knew you never liked it when he saw you in pain, you were stubborn and tried to hide it from him.

sim jake has always been known as the icon of growth — yet how can a relationship grow when both parties continue to run?

park sunghoon

sunghoon entered his apartment, eyes nearly brimming to tears as he ran his hands through his hair. he could get over many things and act indifferent towards other people but when it came to you things were different. he knew he had to keep himself under control, couldn’t lose his composure around you, but it was hard especially after seeing your eyes nearly lifeless, exhaustion written all over your face.

you had asked him to spend the night sleeping over but he left after dinner with you and your parents. he knew that he should’ve stayed but staying would’ve resulted in him admitting feelings he wasn’t quite ready to yet so he left instead.

park sunghoon, indifferent and a man made of ice — but that ice was starting to melt by the heat of reality.

kim sunoo

as the sunshine to thousands if not millions of people things were different with you. because with you kim sunoo didn’t need to be bright and bubbly, he could just be himself plain and simple. you were the reason he smiled, the reason he laughed, and the reason he enjoyed life.

yet after seeing you in the hospital tonight, it was another side that he hadn’t quite realized its impacts. despite your tiredness, you still smiled at him, you still told your corny little jokes in an attempt to get him to laugh, and you had made him realized just how short life could be. there was no tine like the present yet he asked himself, would you two still continue to be able to enjoy the privilege of the present?

yang jungwon

as someone who became the leader at such a young age, it’s safe to say that yang jungwon has faced a lot of pressure in his life. yet nothing could compare to the pressure he felt when you nearly collapsed on him while cooking curry in the kitchen and he brought you to your room. he was completely and utterly 100% lost as to what to do. he followed your instructions the best that he could but it wasn’t until your parents came back home that he was finally relieved.

yet despite the brief relief that washed over him, when he got back to his own home his mind was wracked with thoughts and questions as to what to do and how to help you. and he wondered, could he handle it?

nishimura riki / ni-ki

you had told ni-ki of your illness from the start but he had never really seen the way it truly affected you until your date today. you two had gone to festival to take pictures and eat street food together but when you weren’t feeling well and pain started to attack, you two had to leave early. so he took you home, made you some tea the way jay had taught him, made you laugh a little, and stayed until you finally fell asleep.

if anything, ni-ki couldn’t quite comprehend how this had happened, his mind trying to wrap itself around the situation and the differences. the sight of your once smiling face turning into one of discomfort and pain was a sight he never wanted to see and wanted to prevent in all the ways that he could. he didn’t quite know how to deal, unsure as to how to sort out his feelings because he was still so young.

❦ written by riri ( @enhykkul ) | main blog masterlist | blog navi

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