#gender fucky issues! we love to see it

[hbosscreations]

Fixing Hellblazer: Dead in America

Apparently I'm not doing being negative today, so I'm going to channel my bullshit into fixing things.

Let me tell you a bit about me. I love bad horror movies. I LOVE horror movies that aren't great, but you can see how they COULD be great under different circumstances. My favorite thing to do for years was take a movie that wasn't good and think about what needed to be done to fix it.

Dead in America actually has a pretty simple fix that would help with the rewrite. You'd have to rewrite the whole thing, this draft isn't salvagable, but if you really want to tell the story about American Racism, it's such an easy fix, I don't know why they didn't do it in the first place.

Make Noah Ikumelo the main character.

Seriously. That's the big change.

Maybe he's not the focal character for the entire 11 issue run, but have him be the perspective of at least one issue instead of the random racists that keep getting their stories told like we're supposed to care about them.

Issue 1: Flee

Tommy is dead, K-Mag is dead, they're on the run, and John says 'well, I've got friends in America who could help us out'.

Noah's scared, Nat's scared, John seems to have a plan. So, they're off to America with no money, no papers, nothing but the clothes on their backs.

It's okay at first, John's magic lets him manipulate people a bit, gets them through security checks and keeps them fed, but it's definitely not enough to keep them safe forever.

Noah has a bunch of exposition he gives about being black in the UK, about being disabled, about his feelings about his mother (being a cop, being in a coma, being weird about magic).

How he has always felt unheard until John came into the picture and saw him.

They're traveling, the fear starts to wear off, Noah realizes they've fled the country and his mother is alone.

Where's his gran? This is a point to show flashbacks. Maybe she's not mentally all there? Maybe Noah has been sleeping on John's couch. Maybe he's been learning magic during the months we don't see in the original run. Not a lot, John tells him that he likes that Noah's not really involved in this shit.

Until the murder dreams, when Noah starts getting a crash course in magic and hasn't had a chance to think about anything except John and his stupid plans.

The issue ends with them on the freight ship they stowed away on approaching the docks. They've arrived in port, and it's time to leave. John puts his hand on the double decker bus and reassures them both that he's got this. He's got a plan, and things are going to be okay.

He looks fondly at Noah, and Noah wonders if he can trust that face. Can he believe John?

He doesn't really have a choice, does he?

Issue 2: Where is everyone?

This issue is mostly from John's perspective and his narrating voice takes control again.

John reaches out to old contacts. They're gone. Dead or never existed in the first place. No capes and cowls in this universe. Just magic, divinity, and damnation.

They're fucked.

Meanwhile, Noah and Nat both realize that they're being treated differently than John is. Both have experienced different types of prejudice based on race, gender, disability, and now there's an extra layer of it. The American layer that the story really wants to talk about.

John gets a little, but it's pretty clear that people are generally cooler with a blond haired, blue eyed, white man with an accent than they are with Noah's lack of speaking and Nat's heavy Glaswegian accent.

There's a level of cruelty that makes being trapped in another country, unable to call anyone and tell them that you're alive, unable to know if your family is safe, unable to know if you were even a suspect in the crimes committed, extra fucky.

John's contacts he'd normally call are all of touch the easy way.

So, fine. If he can't call them, he'll go to their usual haunts and track them that way.

Hence, road trip.

This leads into the actual comic scene where John is in St. Augustine, Florida and talking to the statue.

You can still have the Girl Scout come and be cryptic and cruel, have John losing his shit over the fact that he's damned Noah to hell.

(Or we can include my favorite headcanon that Noah was supposed to be a tulpa designed to distract John. I don't know if it would work here, but a story about a kid literally designed to be a sponge for prejudice and cruelty might be a mirror this story about racism could play with. It would need a MUCH more competent writer than me and at least two sensitivity readers.)

Noah wants to pull over for a hitchhiker, they've got the space and he's kind, but John cautions him that America is VERY different from London. We learn that Noah has not traveled much outside of his home city if at all because of his mother's profession and then her coma, leaving him in the care of his gran, who lived on the estate and therefore didn't really have much in the ability or desire to go far.

The dream with Dream still happens, which gives us a nice connection to the previous story as well as John's whole...being dead thing. They're looking for the sand, they're looking for friendly faces, they're looking for magic in a world that John quickly realizes is GASPING and DYING.

Because the multiverse still got punched in the dick by Tim Hunter, and while this world hasn't been hit by him specifically, it's feeling some of the multiversal repercussions of an apocalypse that massive.

And John doesn't have the power to get them out of this while he's a corpse. The longer he rots, the weaker he gets.

Dream gives his orders. John agrees.

They wake up, Noah is being threatened by the cop because he's black and driving a bus. We don't make it about the cop being too stupid to know what a bus is this time, instead, we make it because the bus looks strange and 'why is a black boy driving a bus unless he stole it? obviously he's a thief and he's refusing to speak out of disrespect'.

That fucking sucks, but it also works more to the actual threat of racism in the US. The OTHERING. They're dangerous because they're OTHER. They're lesser because they're OTHER.

Nat keeps the cop's gun after he's frozen. She's freaked. Noah's freaked.

John calmly tells them the spell won't last forever and they need to drive. Nat goes to the wheel and we watch Noah sneak up to the upper level and cry.

John watches from the stairs until he's sure Noah is asleep. He doesn't know how to offer this particular kid comfort, how to offer to hold him without revealing his death or just being too attached.

We see him put his coat over the boy as a symbol of protection. He brushes a hand over Noah's head and asks Dream to look out for the kid.

"I know you're pissed at me and I don't really have the right to ask, but hasn't he had enough nightmares for now?"

Noah's dream about all the horrible things he's processing from the previous issue, the previous run, and that night melt into something more pleasant. Maybe the groundwork for him learning John is his father.

John is back with Nat as she's driving. She's angry. The conversation from the original issue can stay and be expanded on. John tries to comfort her, tries to ease the tension, and it eventually works.

She gets what he's doing, even if he's not doing a good job.

This is a Classic John Constantine who cares about other people but isn't necessarily good at showing it.

The sun starts to rise.

"Where the fuck are we going now? We're a target in this thing, John, and that cop's gonna call us in."

John reassures that they're fine and he's got a new plan.

Most of the hero types don't exist now, but that's fine. He's started to tap into the multiversal memories that he'd repressed in the 2019 issue, and he's pretty sure that he's got a friend who will exist in this universe, even if people like Zatanna and Superman don't.

After all, the Green is a multiversal constant.

This leads into the ending of the original issue 1, with the swamp being filled in and turned into a golf course.

And that ends issue 2.

I don't know if I want to invest energy into re-imagining the entire run, and I suspect that would require the run to be finished before I can properly fix anything except the opening. If you actually read this...sorry about the way it's written, this was all just thought to typing, so it has 0 polish.

I think this is a series that could have worked under different circumstances. I think there are elements here that are good, but this was clearly not written with any real oversight or a coherent story beforehand.

I would have loved for them to learn magic on the bus. Scenes of Nat and Noah picking up spells, Nat teaching Noah the proper way to throw a punch that won't fuck up his hands. Noah being REALLY good at making sure they all manage to eat properly (I am deeply invested in this child shoving oranges into people's hands because 'do you want scurvy?').

A scene of John teaching Nat sign language while Noah slept because he's already so isolated and they all need to take care of each other. Nat forcing John to drive, only for him to hit a car and immediately switch back to her driving. Nat reading a novel aloud to keep Noah awake while they drive at night.

Basically, we need to make them seem like they're actual people who actually spend all of their time trapped together.

Also, does John eat? How have they noticed that he doesn't eat? Does he sweat? If he showers, does that damage his skin and hair, since he's apparently molding at the start of the series?

[mograa]

"what's in a name?" a yuka poem assembled using quotations from wikipedia articles

inspired by x

[coldcocoamilk]

hey hi hello welcome to my blog it’s nice to see ya

my name is rose. I'm 23, use she and they pronouns, I followed the Florida to California pipeline, and I’ve been on this site for way too damn long.

more under the cut about me!

the nitty gritty details!

hi hi hi first of all thank you so much for reading this! I appreciate it.

I used to use Tumblr as a diary growing up from like fourteen onward. for a true time capsule, @ienjoypocky-blog has all my gross preteen thoughts on it. I've grown a lot on Tumblr and while I can't say it's my favorite site, there's something about it that just keeps me coming back.

some facts about me! I'm a vegetarian. I’m a normal 9-5 corporate banker. I'm happily saving up for a house with my lovely boyfriend and my favorite color is purple, I love anything glittery, and I have an unhealthy addiction to Arizona lemon iced tea and Coca-Cola. my two favorite foods are curry and pho, I'm a libra, and I'm surprisingly tiny at 4"11 (150cm).

I have a lot of fun trauma surrounding family issues, sexual assault, and abuse. as a result, things are a bit fucky in my head. I've also been on/off struggling with an eating disorder since about the time I started on Tumblr. AND to top it all off I have semi-well-managed endometriosis!

please do not even bother trying to interact with me if you

- support users hanpetos and c0lb0h specifically. (hanpetos is a user who has been harassing another user repeatedly over the course of several years, and personally, I don't want anything to do with them. colboh is just an asshole who keeps re-hosting other people's nsfw art to websites after being explicitly told to Not Do That.)

- support users who directly target minors and repeatedly harass them. we were all young and stupid once, and while gentle chastisement is sometimes good, it's often easier to block a user and move on.

- you harass anyone for liking/sharing/commenting on something you don't agree with. once again, block and move on.

- you're transphobic, homophobic, a white supremacist, support Donald Trump and the qanon craze following him, a self proclaimed incel/pedophile/MAP, are a TERF

- you self diagnose yourself with mental/physical illnesses without seeking consistent professional medical help. (it’s ok to research those diagnosis and make an educated guess - and not everyone has the $ to get a diagnosis)

- multi level marketing schemes / pyramid schemes

some of my hot button yes please issues I stand for

- black lives of all types matter.

- your life, individually, matters too.

- genuine equal rights and freedoms for those who do not already have them by law, and justice to be served to those who have been robbed of their rights, freedoms, and dignities.

- pro choice!

- being proactive with your mental/physical health

- love my trans/nb/gender fluid sisters, misters, and everyone in between

my tagging goes as follows

(I'm far from perfect on my tagging and sometimes forget entirely if I'm on mobile. if I forget to tag something, I'm sorry - but remember, you're responsible for your own content and wellbeing.)

- I tag any potentially harmful triggers. this includes them relating to body image, self harm, abuse, gore, gender dysphoria, flashing/strobes, and anything else that I feel might be uncomfortable to consume outside the safety of your own home.

- "queue and I forever" is my queue tag. I'm probably not active at the time of you seeing a post tagged this, but I like a queue to continue to keep my blog from going months without being updated.

- my "personal" tag is used for literally anything that I've thought. I use this tag for anything I post that isn't a fic and isn't a reblog. these posts are completely fine to interact with and in fact I encourage you to do so. if they aren't, they'll be tagged as such!

- I tag gifs/videos/audio to help cater towards those using Tumblr with disabilities.

fic info!

sometimes I write fanfiction as [coldcocoamilk] on Archive of Our Own. my forever otp is Levihan, and I frequently like to be fluid in my interpretation of what Hange's gender is in my fics. given it's never been confirmed by Isayama, I just roll with whatever feels comfortable to write with!

once upon a time I used to write for the Phan Dan/Phil ship. when they both came out, and in the past, they've both expressed discomfort with how the public is fascinated with their relationship, their sex lives, and all their personal details. when I wrote those fics, I was sixteen, a virgin, and stupidly unaware of how invasive it must be to have hundreds of thousands of people writing about such intimate things. since I've grown up, I too have become uncomfortable with those fics. I've decided to stop writing for that ship entirely. the fics are still up because people still get enjoyment out of them and, besides, nothing ever disappears from the internet anyways, but please know that there will be no more of them and I fully accept responsibility for contributing towards that toxic relationship Dan and Phil ended up having with creators and them.

if you’re going to share my fics, please make sure to tag me in the post about them. good or bad criticism, it makes me happy to see people reading, and even happier to know that I'm still welcomed and loved in a fandom.

if you’re viewing this on mobile: I hope this blog’s color scheme is soothing af for you cause I’m mad proud of it. but -

if you’re on the actual web browser version of this blog, hi, you’ve reached my optimal reading version of the blog. I made the layout so it’s very easy to read fanfic and long posts without having to deal with awkward Microsoft word esque photo placements. your browser’s zoom function should work with it too, so that’s cool, if you’re a lil blind like me and need a bigger font

to end this long ass pinned post,

hi. I hope you enjoy my blog. thanks for stopping by. please drink some water and remember to charge the device you're reading this on. have a snack, set your bedtime alarm, and brush your damn teeth. before you curl into whatever your browsing situation looks like, remind yourself that you survived another day.

it's kinda fun to be alive.

love, rosey

oh and here’s what I look like

[thefvrious]

Honestly, by the time Domino had let slip the three little words he’d been feeling buzzing through him, he had completely forgotten that it was this that was the hang-up between them and the final step; between Domino and getting all of Liam. The process of completing his consumption of Liam had been beautiful, too, with Dom certain he’d fallen even more in love, but now it was tainted. Had it been so bad that it had changed everything? Was it something Liam really hadn’t wanted and, once giving it to Dom, realized his mistake, let the shame of it eat away at the good things they had? Were they not compatible in that way? Was Liam otherwise dissatisfied? Whatever the case may be, Domino was willing to put in whatever work, make whatever cuts and sacrifices. He was well and truly in love and he was pretty sure that hadn’t happened since high school.

After baring himself, or so it felt, that sigh that escaped the blond’s lips felt like a gut-punch. Now who was being dramatic? He feared the worst because that would make sense, right? He’d wind up in this bubble of love he’d never expected and then it would burst at his highest point, leaving him to crash miles back down to the earth.

Dom couldn’t help but squint when Liam tried to assure him he was the perfect partner by a long shot. He opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it, jaw closed tightly until the other man finished speaking. It was true, when they’d met, the sexual energy between them was unmatched. It had to be part of the reason Domino had fallen so hard so fast for Liam — could someone not only keep up but, some nights, best him? — but it wasn’t the only thing, and Dom had faith in their magnetic chemistry. Whatever funky, fucky shit was happening between them now was simply a hurdle or chasm to cross, they simply had to find a way to navigate it.

Only problem was, Dom had a blindfold on and Liam didn’t seem too keen on helping him get it off.

He couldn’t help but notice as Liam made himself smaller, tucking himself into the furthest corner of the couch. Domino took that personally, too, thinking Liam just didn’t want Dom to touch him, so he stood up, moved to the other sofa diagonally adjacent to where Liam was laying so he could still see the other man just fine but didn’t run the risk of accidentally touching Liam.

“Can you try to explain it?” He asked, unable at all to fathom what Liam was feeling but also having nothing with which to compare it to. Liam’s biological sex mattered so little to Domino that he often forgot the issues that stemmed from it not matching his gender identity. “Why do you feel disgusted with yourself?” He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees as his hands — clasped, to prevent himself from reaching out — dangled between them, curiosity and mild hurt mingling in his expression. “Is it because of what we did?” He asked, realization a slow train pulling into the station. “We don’t have to do that, we don’t have to do anything that might make you uncomfortable. It’s your body. I don’t get to make those choices for us, and don’t let me sway you just because you want to please me. Obviously, it’s not worth it. Not if you’re going to get like this, cupcake.” He said, small smile on his lips as he lost the battle with himself, lifted one hand to gently nudge Liam by the cheek with his thumb into looking at Domino, trying to get a smile out of him one way or the other. “It’s hurting you, which hurts me, which means we just need to navigate another way around the tracks.” His hand fell down to Liam’s shoulder; god, he was a sucker for touch. “Don’t shut me out. No matter how silly you think your thoughts are. ‘Cause, babe, honestly, I don’t think that’s silly at all. You got a lot in your head that I can’t begin to understand, but I’d like to try. So, forgive me if I have a lot of questions, but, you know, I don’t throw around I love yous like they’re nothing; I don’t intend on walking away from you any time soon. Good or bad, right? So, this week’s a bad one. So, we don’t know where we’re going next, but the journey’s half the fun, yeah? Lemme help. That’s all I want.”

Being knocked into a state like this was certainly the last thing Liam expected to happen after the step he'd taken with Domino. Love was supposed to be freeing and safe. They were supposed to be happy and all over each other now that the boundaries had essentially disappeared. Instead Liam was left with a self-hatred that gnawed relentlessly at him. It chewed up the joy at being in a happy relationship; it wolfed down all of his creativity; it devoured his sex drive. A husk was all that was left.

From a logical standpoint, Liam could recognize how dramatic this all was. He didn't want to put Dom through any of it. He would have preferred to snap himself out and carry on like nothing changed. But try as he might, this haze was fused to him, tethered like a shadow lurking behind. He was more fragile than he wanted to be - not very masculine of him, was it?

It shouldn't have come as a surprise that today was the day Domino spoke up about it. He had feelings of his own that deserved to be tended to and Liam was being wholly selfish and neglectful. He sighed after Domino was done speaking, forcing himself to sit up because god help him they were having this conversation. He felt truly pathetic as he stared at the man that now held his heart in his hands, wishing there was a way to articulate the ugly things he felt about himself in a way Domino would understand.

"You haven't done anything wrong, Dom. You're quite literally the most perfect partner I've ever had. It's not even close either." Before all this, Liam had been an even match for Domino's sexual appetite. They were well suited to one another in just about every way possible. So to have it all suddenly switch off? Yeah, it was confusing for both of them. "Hurting you isn't my intention. I just... I'm feeling things that I shouldn't be feeling and I don't know how to turn it off. I want to lose myself in you and enjoy being in love but I'm stuck in a hell of my own making." He tucked himself into the corner of the couch, afraid to reach for his lover because he didn't deserve to seek comfort when he was causing the problems, right? "I feel wrong. Maybe it sounds silly to your ears but the truth is that I'm thoroughly disgusted in myself." He had to swallow down a painful lump in his throat that had formed while he spoke. He'd never been a crier before so why start now??

[quasieli]

top six: fictional characters that give you gender envy, flowers, little things that make you happy and d&d moments :D

Ooh lotsa questions!

Gender Envy:

1) Bow from She-Ra (2018). Something about buff athletic dude who wears crop tops and is soft as hell is very Gender to me.

2) Vax from Critical Role. Pretty boy, kinda goth rogue? That’s sexy as hell and I wish that was me. 

3) In a wildly different idea of gender envy, I’ve been thinking about it lately and @quantum-lesbian’s character in the Frostmaiden game I’m in with them, Ambrose, is Big Gender. Beautiful non-binary drow with a starry and kinda witchy aesthetic that dresses super grandly and ostentatiously no matter the occasion? Yes please.

4) Pete from The Unsleeping City, specifically season two. I adore season one Pete but season two Pete that works in a queer bookshop and has a teapot arcane focus, is artsy and is unapologetically a trans man who doesn’t give a shit about gender roles? Sign me the fuck up.  

5) Beau from Critical Role. Buff GNC lesbian mixed with academia, but like academia from the prospective of a grad student with ADHD trying to learn everything about their special interests? A+, I love her and I’m jealous. 

6) I’m gonna cheat a lil bit for this last one. I know the prompt is fictional characters, but Julia Lepetit and Jacob Andrews in their Hitman streams? Simultaneously both of them were Gender for me. Jacob esp felt like that for me, which is weird cause dresses can make me dysphoric, but I am also slightly envious of the Dude in a Dress type of gender presentation. 

Can you tell that I’m a confused trans masc enby

Gonna put it under the cut from here cause oof, there’s still a lot more.

Flowers:

1) Big slut for Sunflowers, always have been, always will be.

2) Fun fact, my dad’s family used to own a flower shop (in like the 70s, so I never got to see it :(), and one of their big things was hydrangeas. My dad has always loved them and now I love the snowballs too!  

3) A recent favorite, the Baker’s Globe Mallow. It’s a type of flower that only grows from the soils of forests that have been affected by wildfires. It’s a simple little flower but I love the idea of something beautiful rising from the ashes after tragedy. A little dramatic, but I’m queer, ofc I’m dramatic.

4) Roses are another important flower to my family (Rose was a family name for a couple generations), and ya know, they’re a classic. 

5) There’s this beautiful magnolia tree in front of my house that blooms with the most beautiful white and pink flowers every spring, and it’s one of my favorite things to see every year. 

6) There’s so many different types of Lillies and they’re all very pretty, but the Purple Stargazer is prob my favorite.

Little Things That Make Me Happy:

1) My cat, Maddie. She may be a cranky girl at times, but she is also very sweet and will always be my baby (even though she is 12). 

2) Not a little thing really, but my best friend. Just getting a sweet/silly text from her or the two of us chilling in a room, sitting in a comfortable silence because we just like being together, nothing better. 

3) Baking, esp if I’m doing it for others. I’m not much of a sweets person myself, a little treat every once in a while type person, but I love baking. It’s a very relaxing process for me, even when it can sometimes get stressful, but seeing people enjoying something I made, especially something that brought me great joy to make, is simply the best. 

4) In the same sorta vein, crafting and other art, but that’s a bit more personal. I love making things for others, but art, particularly drawing, is something I do more for me. It’s such a great feeling when you can get into a really good art mood and just sink yourself into a project. I love it.

5) My plush toys. Yes, I am a 23 year old, no I will not stop loving my plushies. I just got a few new friends, which I made a post about recently, and they such good cuddle buddies. However, there is one king amongst them all. I have this old, beat up christmas puppy beanie baby, on his tag named Jingle Pup, but I just call him Jingle. I had one version of him since I was like 6, but he currently lives on a shelf cause he is very beaten up and fragile, but his “brother”, who I got when I was 8, is still in kinda good shape and is currently chilling on my chest as I type this lol.

6) Again, not a little thing, but it’s important to mention; D&D. The game itself is such a joy, but truly the best part of it is the people. I love creating stories and memories with people through this weird little game. Truly one of my favorite things to do.

D&D Moments:

These are all gonna be personal moments, rather than anything from actual play shows/podcasts. RC is Reforged Campaign, where I play Saube, and FM is Frostmaiden, where I play Sparks.

1) RC - Meeting Mahety, Saube’s girlfriend. We met her way back in session 12 and we are now up to like session 73. Saube saw her and was immediately big heart eyes at her but also felt a bit awkward and shy. So, being a game a dice, I decided to roll. 10 or higher, Saube would talk to her, 9 or lower, she’d stay put. I rolled a 17, 17 is now a lucky number for me. I love Mahety and I’d die for her. 

2) FM - This was an insane fight that should not have been so crazy, but in a fairly early session, my group went up against an angry druid and her awakened animals. So much batshit stuff happened in that fight, and we unfortunately lost our bread loving bard (RIP Agneyis), but one of my favorite combat turns happened in this fight. Our artificer, Omaren, has a robe of useful items and one of the patches on it creates a large pit. Thinking quickly, Omaren tore off the patch, slid it under one of the dire wolves we were fighting and created a looney tunes style pit under it, allowing us to take it out easily via pot shots. Such a clutch move and such a funny visual, especially because the dire wolf kept failing the checks to get out of the pit.  

3) RC - Saube’s Zebrith (I will never remember how this actually spelled RIP). So, for context, Saube ended up with a death curse (long story) that mechanically meant they had disadvantage on any death saving throws. Scary as hell, need to get that fixed! So, Saube and their party had to be smuggled into another country to talk with some religious leaders of a goddess known as The First, the goddess of death. They were told that Saube would have to go through the aforementioned ritual, which included her soul leaving her body for a short period of time. During this ritual, her friends had to call back to her, to say things that would bring her back to her body and I still cry thinking about that game. That ritual was not only important for Saube bodily, but spiritually as well. After that ritual, Saube officially became a cleric of The First! 

4) A real sappy one, RC - Saube meeting all of her friends. Anyone who follows along with the rantings on my blog probably knows how important this game is to me. I met this random group of strangers on tumblr and formed a D&D party with them and now, a year and a half later, I honestly think it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I know that sounds silly and dramatic but not only has this game brought me so much joy and comfort, but I also gained a group of really amazing friends who have been nothing but amazing since day one. As much as Saube knows she can depend on SICL, I know I can depend on my group of weirdos lol. We both love our friends very much and even though we’ve all been through some crazy shit, we wouldn’t change it for the world.    

5) RC - Just playing Saube in general. I really didn’t intend for it to be this way, but Saube is very much a reflection of myself. She is the first long term character I have ever played and so much of me is in her. I try not to treat D&D like therapy, because that’s unfair to my DM and fellow party members, but playing Saube has allowed me to work through some of my own problems, especially social anxiety, in a lot safer of an environment. It isn’t so much that I’m asking this game to help me fix my life, but playing out these scenarios that, in the real world, would make me anxious or make me freak out, I can stop, take a moment to breathe and work out these issues in a way that makes sense to me. Playing her has led me to understanding myself a bit better, as well, and that’s truly such a wonderfully unexpected gift from this whole experience. 

6) Lastly, a silly one: RC - Getting a crit 6. The last session of this game got real interesting. Saube’s party ended up in the ethereal plane and magic got real fucky there. So, any time any of us tried to cast a spell, we’d roll a d20, not look at the result, and then try to guess what number rolled. The closer to the number, the better the result. A few times, a few people managed to get within like 3 or 4 of their roll, but oh the power I felt when I rolled a 6 (on Saube’s die!) and guessed it correctly! So, not only did the spell (Bless) work, but it worked super well. So instead of getting +1d4 to attack rolls and saving throws, Saube and two other party members got +2d4 to attacks, saving throws and skill checks. So powerful I broke the rules of D&D lmao. 

[pooklet]

1: @bipolarmolarfanfiction​ hello friend! so, i don’t use the UC, my version of the game is the double deluxe version + all eps/sps and i’ve been using that for years with minimal issue (i say minimal rather than none cuz no version of ts2 is without issues). aaand i just installed windows 10 for the first time ever yesterday so i don’t know my way around the os at all yet. having said that, there are couple general problems that may be at work:

graphics rules: with newer systems and whatnot it’s downright necessary to have this installed with yr graphics card added to the list.

memory: yr computer might be struggling cuz win10 is the memory-hoggingest buttface, and playing an older game on top of that can make yr computer flip out. there are a bunch of tutorials on getting win10 to run less unnecessary shit behind the scenes and doing so might help improve the game’s performance.

processor: so, this was always more of an issue w/ games like diablo on wife’s old laptop, but when we were looking for a solution we found out that certain older games have trouble using all yr processor cores cuz they were made before that was even a thing, and get confused af by several cores. u could try setting yr computer to utilize less cores and it might improve gameplay! maybe! it’s not a guaranteed fix, more of a diagnostic tool, and u have to restart yr computer when u do it, but it’s something to try. here’s how u would go about doing so.

ok ignore what i said up there, here’s a much easier way of dealing with that problem.

general game performance improvements: back when i was gaming on a laptop, i used a lot of hialgo’s performance boosting applications to help with gameplay. they’re worth a try!

if none of that works, or u would just rather not deal with the UC’s extra glitchiness, lemme know and i can show you where u can get the more stable double deluxe version of the game.

2: hey anon! azaya and i actually got verdant skies in a recent steam sale! we’ve just been too hyperfocused on don’t starve together to play it just yet. but yeah i’m stoked to give it a try for the reasons u listed. and thank u for thinking of me!! you guys are always recommending such awesome games w/ lots of representation and the opportunity to avoid the “NOW CHOOSE A BINARY GENDER BEFORE U CAN MAKE YR CHARACTER” bs that is in sooo many games. it’s super sweet and i truly appreciate it so much. :))

3: ty so much anon, it’s so sweet of u to check in on me! and i hope you are feeling as well as you possibly can and getting the care that u need and deserve! i love lolling around in bed but, like, on my own terms!! being stuck in bed is the pits and i totally empathize.

my health has been ........ interesting. my hematologist wants me tested for hereditary hemorrhagic telangiectasia, and because my insurance company refused the testing, i had to change providers and find all new doctors for almost everything. my physical therapist, urologist and ophthalmologist think my tendency to sublux my joints at the drop of a hat, the ongoing battle with interstitial cystitis, and the fact that my immune system keeps trying to murder my eyeballs all points toward hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome. recent blood tests proved that my hla-b27 antigen is fucky, so i’m finally going to see a rheumatologist who specializes in eds, rather than my previous one who was like “lol idk, have some pain meds and get outta my office“ so, like, fingers crossed!!

[serenagaywaterford]

humour me for a minute, we had the winslow/fred red herring right, SO what IF (and know I'm aware I'm grasping at straws out of sheer desperation) tuello is serena's red herring just as winslow was fred's and moira telling serena she's the gender traitor is foreshadowing for june/serena. my second piece of evidence is them making a point of telling us june isn't the june luke knows anymore, and who better to understand her than serena? hahah just kidding ... unless ?????

(cont.) MY THIRD piece of evidence that I've just pulled out of my ass is that we keep seeing them parallel june/serena. it literally feel as if they're flipping their roles, june falling prey to her darkest instincts and serena doing the right thing for once (albeit for selfish reasons). plus all the visual parallels. listen I'll lose my mind if I don't hold on to SOMETHING so this is the hill I'm choosing to die on.

(cont.) ALSO (I'm sorry, last one I promise) serena might find out she'll never actually have what she wants with nichole, what with her not even being allowed to call herself her mother, and I wonder if that might push her to decide to just... do the right thing out of it being the right thing to do? and she'll aid in the destruction of gilead? because she'll realize she no longer has anything left to lose? probably not, but one can daydream.

-----

I adore humouring anons who are giving me crazy delusional hope! :DDDD

To be frank, this theory you’ve set up is the THT we deserve, lol. It ties shit together. It isn’t focused solely on June: The Arrogant Rebel Superhero Immune to All Danger TM. It doesn’t leave shit dangling all over the place. It kinda makes sense of all the bullshit.

I would love for Tuello to be a red herring. I think considering everyone and their dog seems to think there’s gonna be some fucky fucky between him and Serena, I’m gonna guess, based on this show’s track record of doing the most insane things just so audiences don’t guess anything, it won’t happen that way.

Then again, that’s wishful thinking on my part, cos really, this show also does the exact OPPOSITE of everything I want it to do and since I pretty much despise a Tuello/Serena hetero ~romance subplot, that is also exactly what they’ll give us.

Great, I’m back stuck in a 50/50 situation.

I definitely WISH Moira’s comments were foreshadowing and Luke’s comments as well. It would be an interesting contrast. I mean, I think the biggest issue is that June is bonkers rn. Like, she’s lost it. Her relation to Serena is poison rn. She doesn’t see Serena as anything but a monster (Pot, meet Kettle!) so I doubt there is gonna be any development of that relationship any time soon. So, I guess for this to be even a remote possibility, we’ll have to be patient for like another 4 seasons lolololol. Is anybody going to be watching at that point? I won’t be haha.

I deffo feel like they’re flipping June and Serena, or conjoining them in a way. So June will never be as bad as Serena, and Serena will never be as good as June. They’re just gonna both be selfish from different angles, for different reasons, with different motives. But again, this feels like wishful thinking too cos is the show that deep/smart? I’m not convinced it’s really much more than Moss’ Ego Project now and there’s not really much more going on than Moss wants to be Angry/Crazy On Screen for another Emmy.Is that mean? I honestly don’t care. That’s what it feels like to me.

Serena “do the right thing out of it being the right thing to do?”

I wish this was a possibility, but I just don’t see this show as being that... brave? Smart? Insightful? Consistent? Deep? Logical? I dunno. I can’t even figure out the word I’m looking for tbh.

Sigh. All we’ve got left is daydreams lol.

[princelucivaryaslana]

I’m gonna be rambling about my gender identity, you can read and comment if you wanna

Alright so shit’s fucky

I already know I’m not a guy ‘cause I tried that and it was fun but ultimately not really a “I’m a guy!” thing so much as a “what would I be like if I was me but a guy” thing

I know I like presenting feminine and LOATHE the fact that I can’t maintain my weight to save my life because my boobs are permanently droopy and even if I lost weight and got hot they’d be floppy and dumb, and I know I identify more with girls and femininity than I do with boys and masculinity and have a lot of personality traits and quirks that are traditionally associated with girls

however I know I don’t like that people see me as a girl due to the connotations womanhood holds and wish that I was comfortable presenting a bit more androgynous because I’ve been called “sir” before when I had short hair and wore big hoodies and that was a fun time

The big issue is, I don’t know if I’m a girl who just doesn’t want people to assume they understand my motivations based on the fact that I have tits and a vagina OR if I’m a demigirl or some other yet-to-be-defined gender identity outside of the binary

and no matter what the case may be, if it turns out I AM a girl, I don’t know if I’d be able to stop telling people to use “they/them” pronouns because I’ve been doing that for five years and I just KNOW someone will be all “oh NOW she’s gonna stop? after she made it such a BIG DEAL that we call her ‘they’?” and I dont’ know if i can deeeeal with that

unfortunately gender is a construct and a thing that everyone has to kinda figure out themselves at the same time so i’m not sure if I’m ever going to have an answer regardless and it’s exhausting

it’s the same kinda wishy-washy bullshit as my “am I a lesbian/nb person who is exclusively romantically attracted to girls, or am I biromantic with a heavy lean towards girls? am I even romantically attracted to other people or am I aro and appreciate a pretty face and figure?” nonsense 

i genuinely have no idea what the fuck is going onnnnnnnn other than the fact that I’m pretty sure I’m demiromantic and asexual and REALLY love dogs and bears and dragons

[dandymeowth]

More “wtf REGs” posts, captions under cut.

In the first post we see an aphobe stating that inclusionists don’t contribute anything and therefore don’t belong, are wrong, etc. 

Which is some hilariously capitalist type bullshit; valuing people, defining their worth based on whether or how much they “contribute” is some hot nasty garbage that targets the marginalized on a regular basis. It’s another example of these types just recycling oppressive rhetoric, a matter of kicking down.

Let alone defining whether we’re properly LGBT+ or just oppressive traitors based on how much we can contribute has all sorts of fucky implications to it. But I can’t expect much from aphobes anymore.

(Not to mention that since most major LGBT+ organizations accept asexuality, inclusionists obviously contribute.)

The second post started with some regular acephobic bullshit that isn’t anything new, but in the replies known aphobe figuregayting states that same gender attraction is required of bisexuals otherwise we’re just fetishisizing nonbinary people (sorry agender and nonbinary bisexuals I guess we don’t exist), that it’s impossible to be attracted to a binary gender and other genders rather than both binary genders and other genders. 

Which also isn’t anything new but they brought in a lovely twist where if a man were to be attracted to women and dated a DFAB nonbinary person, they’re still straight and can’t call themselves bi because they’re still “just attracted to women”. 

They claim the man would be misgendering them by dating them, while simultaneously saying the man can’t call himself bi for it, which is... some hilarious shit because like, you might have a point on the misgendering if the guy insisted on his straightness despite their identity, but you outright say he’s not allowed to identify as bi “just because of finding someone of another gender attractive” (even though that’s the fucking definition of being bi but lol). 

So who’s actually misgendering the person - the asshole saying their man partner is still straight no matter what their gender is because they’re DFAB either way, or the man wanting to identify as bi now that he’s found he’s attracted to someone of a different gender? Seriously.

Again, captions are under cut:

Three screencaps showing two different posts, the first cap being of a post by menacinglavenderr, and the next two being of replies on a post by sapphics.

The first screencap reads:

menacinglavenderr: find me one ace inclusionist that contributes anything to the wlw and mlm communities that isn’t cutesy pastel edits and posts about how not having sex won’t get you sent to hell

bihets: i mean people aren’t only worthy of being in wlw/mlm communities and deserving of resources based on how much they ‘contribute’, that’s some neoliberal capitalist bullshit right there

that said, like… glaad and the trevor project are both MASSIVE lgbt+ organizations that are ace inclusive, so idk what your point is

autistictaramaclay: the op is so specific too. like .. how abt u name an ace exclusionist that’s done things for the wlw and mlm communities?

menacinglavenderr: um, aces are the ones in a privileged group. you don’t get to demand anything from me bc I’m oppressed and aces aren’t. also, you have no fucking right to talk back to me like that.

autistictaramaclay: “aces are the ones in a privileged group” ah yes, i, the trans poc aro, am privileged. all aces and all aros are privileged no matter what, purely because theyre ace or aro. ok

aphobephobe: “Don’t talk back to me like that” you’re not it’s mother, so you can just stop yourself right there and maybe try not to act like the Queen of Everything Who May Not Be Disagreed With.

The next two screencaps have annotations to them and added emphasis, and read as follows:

figuregayting: You need same gender attraction to be bi. A cis guy attracted to women and women aligned people dating a nb person who’s afab isn’t LGBT, he’s just a cis guy ignoring his partners gender orientation. It’s gross and doesn’t make you LGBT @angry-gay-fish

[”If you’re attracted to women and date a DFAB person you’re not LGBT+ because that’s basically just dating another woman”???]

angry-gay-fish: I feel like it’s kind of gross to require the knowledge of someone’s gender assigned at birth before someone can count as LGBTQ+ Why are we ignoring the nb person’s identity? It shouldn’t matter what they were assigned at birth– what matters is what they are now.

figuregayting: No, you’re not understanding. A cis man who is otherwise straight in a relationship with an afab nb person is not LGBT. The nonbinary person is LGBT because they’re nonbinary. He isn’t LGBT just because he’s dating a nb person. That’s what we’re saying.

[Nonbinary people should be considered like binary people in event of relationship with cis people so we can still call them het and fake bi for dating someone who's "still basically (fe)male"]

angry-gay-fish: No, because you’re still saying that what really matters is what they were assigned at birth. If that same nb person were amab, would you say the same? You shouldn’t have to know a person’s assigned gender– it doesn’t matter– all that matters is what they identify as.

figuregayting: …. no I wouldn’t say the same if they were amab because that would make their boyfriend bi ?? ["No, see, by dating a DMAB person he's dating the same gender so he is sga and counts! It doesn't matter if they don't identify as a man, it's still gay because they're basically a guy."] It literally does fucking matter what their agab is when we talk about fetishization. Not all nonbinary people are androgynous. There will always be trans people who don’t pass and gross people who fetishize them hone in on that?? It absolutely does matter and you shouldn’t talk about things you don’t understand.

A cis straight man who starts dating an obviously afab nonbinary person [wtf is “obviously dfab”?] can’t just start calling himself bi once he dates the nonbinary person because he’s most likely fetishizing them and not actually respecting their gender, and that’s why it matters what their agab is. He’s not LGBT for ignoring someone’s gender orientation what the fuck

["you can't call yourself bi if you find out you're attracted to more than one gender, sexuality and orientation is static so you to have identified as bi first and foremost in order to ever be actually bi"]

angry-gay-fish: Woah, hang the fuck on don’t tell me I don’t understand– I’m nonbinary too– you don’t know my experiences and you have no right to tell me that I don’t have a right to talk about this because if effects me too. Yes, people can fetishize nonbinary people, however, by requiring the knowledge of theire agab, all you’re doing is ignoring their gender identity, which is really wrong and misgendering. By saying that that guy is still straight what you’re saying to that nb person is “you’re still really just a girl”

I feel like it’s not really okay to just assume that this person is fetishizing their partner. I mean, this guy very well could have dated other nb people before this one? And he’s not ignoring their gender identity, you are by saying that it doesn’t matter and only their agab matters. Do you see what I mean?

["It is impossible for someone to be bi if they don't like the same gender, it doesn't matter that there's more than 2 genders because you're basically a girl/guy and that's how we're going to see you when a person is dating you so we can properly judge who is and isn't actually bi. Being a man into women and other genders but not men isn't possible, by dating DFAB people you're still just dating women no matter their gender, so you're actually straight."]

diskhorsedudes: Reducing nb people to their agab is like reducing them to their genitals and what kind of rhetoric does that sound like folks? I think you can guess without me saying. Anyways, that’s the issue with “sga”. It’s damaging to nb that aren’t aligned with men and women and can even be damaging to intersex people. Y'all are putting that on nb people without their consent and that’s like misgendering. It’s like y'all see us as just watered down men or women. I really wish exclusionists would drop that argument because it just makes them look enbyphobic and makes them sound terfy/truscummy.