#gender affirmation from the crazy toxic possesive nature of the ali love interests. LMFAO

[sexcromancy]

Jack saying "my wildest fantasies are taking care of you, because I suspect no one's ever done it before" - the specific joining of those two thoughts is REALLY getting at the crux of something I've identified but been unable to articulate about the ali-relationship. the value of the intense attention that Jack wants to give Elsie, the way he wants to take care of her, is directly related to the fact that he thinks she has not been taken care of before. at this point he has very little actual evidence of that, but he is, of course, correct. she has abandonment and attachment issues and she can't be vulnerable with anyone (but him!!!) and Jack is saying that is all part of the appeal. it feels so good to nurse a sickly kitten back to health, right? way better than just raising a healthy kitten. it makes you feel more urgently needed, more attached, and most importantly, absolutely necessary. the first person to show you that kind of affection quickly becomes indispensable. the fetish has to do not just with being taken care of, but also with the intense reliance of being the only person who is allowed into your heart. by the end of the book Elsie does of course learn some better communication skills bc her happily ever after is comprehensive and not just reliant on Jack. but I love that this delicious and crazy little slice of the desire Ali is chasing makes it through... same with the "I want to kill and cook a five course meal for you (even though I can't cook)" and of course the omnipresent "I want to lock you in my room for a week." yay! stream hostage by billie eilish!