#gay spun denver

[hairydenverdude]

I seriously think it is time for a little trip to Denver. What do you think?

Hell yes it is!

[gaymenonkyplease]

Can't stop, won't stop. Doesn't matter how many times I delete my account or change the info and make some excuse or claim my mind is being controlled I'll always be right back here again every time cuz I'm gay, always been gay and I'm getting sick of trying to lie to myself or pretend that it's just a gay fetish lol of course it isn't.

I haven't even gotten off a single time to anything but men and gay porn for over three years...

[dearevanhansenofficial]

4TH ANNUAL DEAR EVAN HANSEN COLLEGE ESSAY WRITING CHALLENGE 2022

In partnership with Gotham Writers and the Broadway Education Alliance, Dear Evan Hansen invited students across North America to write a college-application style essay that describes an experience with or ideas about reinvention at any stage of their life.

READ FINALIST LILLIAN’S FULL ESSAY:

At the beginning of eighth grade I cut my hair. Short. A pixie cut. I wanted to reinvent myself. The minute the stylist spun me around to face the mirror,  I hated how it looked, though this was not something I ever told anyone. I wanted to love it.

The first person I came out to was my mom. We were walking home from swim practice at the end of sixth grade. My hair was dripping, leaving a trail along the sidewalk as we walked to my grandmother’s house, and, with a quivering breath, I told her that I thought I might like girls. She was so supportive, but that didn’t stop me from crying then, walking with a towel wrapped around my waist. I thought because I cried it meant that I was wrong. I took it back and told her I was just overthinking.

Almost a year later, I came out again. My family was sitting around the dinner table and I told them I was gay. Gay because I hated the word lesbian. My dad was the most surprised. “Really?” He asked, as if it was the last thing he expected me to say. I’ve heard a similar reaction over and over again; I’ve seen it reflected in their eyes. Really? You? I began internalizing other people’s surprise. I cut my hair because I thought I had to look a certain way to be gay. I reinvented myself so everyone would believe my queerness more.

I’ve been beyond supported by my family and friends but I still doubt myself. I haven’t had a crush in years, and sometimes it feels like I’ve gotten lost trying to figure out my sexuality. But maybe it’s the world telling me to pause. Maybe the reason I hate the word lesbian is because I don’t need to label myself as one, as anything at all. I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that, for me, sexuality is fluid, and I can still take time to get to know myself. I am not defined by what I said in seventh grade. It’s okay if my truth has changed to encompass new parts of myself - those that have emerged with slower reinvention.

Now, I see reinvention in a different light than I did many years ago. At thirteen, I believed that the immediate sort of reinvention - cutting off twelve inches of my hair - would solve all doubt, both my own and others. I changed not for myself, but for the people around me. More recently, I’ve come to believe that reinvention doesn’t have to be immediate. I’ve grown my hair out. It stretches past the middle of my back. I love it. The growth of my hair has been a slow change, but it’s one I’ve chosen for myself.

Perhaps, in a few months, amidst packing for college, I will find myself sitting in front of a mirror not unlike the one I first saw my short hair in. I will ask my hairstylist for a trim, only two or three inches, and genuinely smile when I see my reflection. I will not immediately reinvent myself, but rather continue my slow reinvention. My experience with doubt, drastic change, and even the most well meaning of “really?”s have heightened my value for acceptance, which I will carry with me into college. I will continue to seek inner acceptance and spread my values to my new peers. My hair will grow, inch by inch, and I will grow along with it.

Lillian Lemme Denver School of the Arts Denver, CO

[hairydenverdude]

[junker-town]

The 9 dumbest mistakes from a surprisingly good QB Week 3, ranked

Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

A lot of backups played this week, but it was the coaches who screwed up most, thanks to ill-advised draw plays and penalties taken (Bruce Arians) and timeouts not taken (Pete Carroll).

Week 3 in the NFL was all about the quarterback. That’s nothing new; almost every week in the NFL is about the quarterback. Yet on a day when Patrick Mahomes and Lamar Jackson were trying to out-video game each other, it wasn’t the already established stars who stole the spotlight. Instead, this Sunday belonged to guys who began the season riding the bench (or in the Jets’ case, on the practice squad).

Six quarterbacks made their first start of the season on Sunday, some due to injury and some due to crappy play from the former QB1s. That seemed like the perfect recipe for a disastrous afternoon of silly goofs we could poke a little fun at on Monday morning.

Then — the nerve! — they went out and performed admirably. As a group, the new starters went 3-3, and the ones who lost couldn’t be blamed for their team’s defeat. Some were even the reason their team won (take a bow, Daniel Jones and, ugh, Dave Gettleman we guess).

Fear not, though. Sunday still provided us with enough dumb mistakes to laugh about the next day. In fact, here are nine of them:

9. Deshaun Watson threw the ball away ... backwards

Deshaun Watson is a great quarterback. But even great quarterbacks do some very dumb things. Even though he got the win this week, Watson’s blunder was pretty up there, when he fumbled the ball against the Chargers. It wasn’t just that he fumbled, though. It was how he fumbled.

With Joey Bosa bearing down on him on a second-and-7 from Houston’s 39-yard line, Watson looked to Duke Johnson for a screen pass behind the line of scrimmage. But Johnson had Desmond King coming at him with a full head of steam and, not wanting to put his running back or himself in unnecessary danger, he threw it away.

Problem is, he threw it away behind the line of scrimmage — and backwards.

from earlier today proof that even great quarterbacks can forget the rules of football pic.twitter.com/YUnkNJTew5

— James Brady (@JamesBradySBN) September 23, 2019

Yup, that’s always a fumble. This one was recovered and advanced by the Chargers, who took a 7-0 lead on the ensuing possession.

On one hand, Watson choosing to not take a sack AND to not put Johnson in line for a massive hit from King were good decisions. Too many quarterbacks dump the ball without looking at the position their potential receiver will be in once they’ve caught it. On the other hand, MAYBE throw it somewhere else next time.

8. Luke Falk threw a pass with a 0 percent success rate

The Jets still had a puncher’s chance in the third quarter of their game against the Patriots. Sure, they trailed 20-0, but Falk, making his first NFL start, still had the chance to instill hope in an otherwise miserable season in New York.

This did not happen. Instead, Falk treated the world to this image of Devin McCourty making an interception without a single Jet close enough to him to get picked up by CBS’ cameras:

Per NextGenStats, the nearest receiver was Robby Anderson ... who was 12 yards away. New England drove -2 yards on the ensuing drive and settled for a field goal to make it 23-0 in Foxborough.

7. The Patriots gave up their first touchdown in nearly 9 months in a very stupid way

New England played Super Bowl 53 and its first two games of 2019 without giving up a touchdown. That streak was still going strong late in the third quarter of Week 3 against the Jets ... until one muffed punt from an undrafted free agent gave Bill Belichick something to grumble about.

Shoutout @arthurmaulet_ for the hustle.#NYJvsNE | #TakeFlight pic.twitter.com/HAyT5FPqFP

— New York Jets (@nyjets) September 22, 2019

Gunner Olszewski’s botched return kept a 14-quarter TD-less streak from stretching to 15. Fortunately for the Patriots, they were still playing the Jets. New York added a fourth quarter touchdown when backup Jarrett Stidham threw a pick-six to Jamal Adams, but the New England defense failed to let an opposing offense into the end zone for the fourth straight game in a 30-14 victory. They’re the first team in the Super Bowl era to ever get through the first three weeks of the season without giving up a touchdown on defense.

6. The Broncos gave one of the league’s most dangerous passers a free play

There are two things Aaron Rodgers absolutely excels at: throwing deep bombs and taking advantage of a defense’s stupid mistakes. Green Bay’s first touchdown Sunday against the Broncos was a serendipitous combination of the two.

never, ever give Aaron Rodgers a free play pic.twitter.com/1DppKeAd8g

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) September 22, 2019

A hard count lured the Broncos offside, but Denver’s biggest issue on second-and-6 may have been leaving Marquez Valdes-Scantling in single coverage. The young wideout easily got inside leverage and sprinted downfield on a play where Rodgers’ short and intermediate routes were never an option. One easy pitch-and-catch later, the Packers led 6-0.

And once again, a defense had to learn the hard way to never give Rodgers a free play.

5. The Browns went for it on fourth-and-9 ... and called a draw play

The Browns were always going to be a work-in-progress with a first-time head coach and skyrocket expectations, but Freddie Kitchens is catching some heat for a decision he made on Sunday Night Football.

Trailing by four points with nine minutes to go, the Browns were facing a fourth-and-9 at the Rams’ 40-yard line. They left the offense on the field, and the Rams gave them a lot of space. Everyone got a little excited about what Kitchens could call in that situation. What creative thing would he do?!

this was Freddie Kitchens' 4th-and-9 play. it was not very good pic.twitter.com/jzm3vbfeGr

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) September 23, 2019

Oh. He ran a sad draw play that went nowhere. Nick Chubb even looked like he wasn’t sure which way he was supposed to go. Despite having playmakers like Odell Beckham Jr. and Jarvis Landry, they went with that draw.

I get it — draws are relatively safe plays that teams run in long situations for their potential to catch a defense napping and convert the downs. But in the fourth quarter, against that Rams defense, you run a draw on FOURTH-AND-NINE, something no team has done in at least 12 years?!

At least Kitchens admitted (many times) after the 20-13 loss that it was a “bad call.”

Sometimes, you just gotta know when not to run it — and when to run it:

First and goal from the 4 with three timeouts. No touches to Chubb. No touches to OBJ. Football isn’t this hard.

— Dawgs By Nature (@DawgsByNature) September 23, 2019

4. The Eagles managed to blow it even more than the Lions

The Eagles were down three late, at home to the Lions. They had the ball at their own 22-yard line, facing fourth-and-8, and decide to go for it. Doug Pederson is notoriously ballsy with fourth downs, but they still had all three of their timeouts and the two-minute warning. And the play was a Carson Wentz scrambled that came up a couple yards short.

That should’ve sealed the game for the Lions, but remember, their offensive coordinator is Darrell Bevell. They ran three plays, gained zero yards, and took 39 seconds off the clock. At the very least, they could get a field goal, right?

Nope, the Eagles blocked that and returned it to the Detroit 40-yard line, though a block in the back moved that back 10 yards. Facing another fourth down, the Eagles threw it and Wentz completed it for a first down, only to see that get wiped out with a pass interference penalty.

One play later, Wentz’s final pass fell incomplete and the Eagles — a Super Bowl contender coming into the season — had to leave their home turf with a loss to the same team that blew an 18-point lead against the Cardinals two weeks prior.

3. The referees didn’t flag a near-decapitation

The good news is Miles Sanders is OK after getting his helmet spun around 180 degrees and popped off his head:

NO FLAG?!! Okay NFL refs... pic.twitter.com/21OB2tkr0T

— Warren Sharp (@SharpFootball) September 22, 2019

The bad news is this somehow didn’t lead to a penalty. In a year where seemingly every play goes off under a microscope and ticky-tack fouls are called more often than any other time in the past decade, this actually dangerous play went off unchallenged by the officials.

2. The Seahawks wasted a huge play by DK Metcalf by sitting on timeouts

When Seattle started a drive on its own 21-yard line with 29 seconds to go there were two ways to handle the situation:

Run out the remainder of the clock and go to halftime down, 20-7.

Try to drive into field goal range with the help of two timeouts.

The Seahawks went for neither strategy. The team threw a short pass into the middle of the field, but decided not to call timeout. That left only 10 seconds when the next play started and time in the half ran out when Russell Wilson found DK Metcalf for 54 yards.

this ludicrous play was ultimately meaningless because Pete Carroll left 2 timeouts in his pocket to end the first half pic.twitter.com/huR3QB8Q8n

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) September 22, 2019

If the Seahawks planned on throwing and trying to score, they absolutely should’ve used a timeout after first down. Instead, Seattle cost itself a 33-yard field goal attempt.

1. The Bucs took a delay of game penalty and missed a game-winning FG

Tampa had the ball left with 13 seconds to go against the New York Giants. The Bucs were in field goal range after Jameis Winston connected with Mike Evans for a terrific 44-yard pass play.

Then head coach Bruce Arians inexplicably took a delay of game penalty to move the ball back five yards. Arians tried justifying it by saying he thought Matt Gay kicks better from longer distances?!

Video: Here’s Bruce Arians explaining that he took a delay of game penalty “on purpose” before final field goal to back up rookie Matt Gay, who had already missed one extra point and had another blocked in the same game. pic.twitter.com/h4WIwaVdq7

— Greg Auman (@gregauman) September 23, 2019

Yikes. Gay had already missed two extra point tries in a game the Bucs were trailing by one point. To the surprise of no one, his 34-yard potentially game-winning field goal sailed wide right as time expired.

Arians might be new to Tampa, but he should’ve known better. After all, the Bucs’ kicking game has been cursed for years.

[dawnstruck]

Song of Solomon 4:7

Ronan Lynch does not believe in sins. He confesses anyway.

[Read on AO3] Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish, character study, pre-slash

At St. Agnes, Sunday morning mass was typically held by Pastor Denver who was as much a staple of Aglionby as the ravens, the big cars, and the boys with more money than wits were.

Ronan who went to church primarily for the family he once had and the family he still had left, had always liked Pastor Denver. He would still go to mass, even if he didn't like him, but he wouldn't do it quite this easily. This religiously.

Pastor Denver was ancient, from Ronan's own teenaged-yet-old-beyond-his-years perspective. He was sturdy for someone closing in on seventy, not quite stooped with age, and his face was more weathered by the sun than wizened by the passage of time.

Some days, the only real proof of how long he had been around was his snow white hair and the liver spots marking his hands, but his liberal smile and the twinkle in his eyes more than made up for that.

Ronan never quite knew what he else liked about going to church, except for that it had long been a habit and, even for him, those were hard to break. Especially since they connected him to his father in ways that had little to do with blood or real magic.

He didn't quite like kneeling on the pews. Didn't quite like praying and hoping that someone not-Cabeswater was actually listening. He didn't quite like staring at smooth-yet-cracked-in-some-places wooden Jesus on the cross behind the altar that had been a generous gift from an alumni and that was supposedly 300 years old. He didn't quite like going to confession.

But he liked Pastor Denver. So he went to confession anyway.

He wouldn't have, under most circumstances, as Ronan did not truly believe in sins.

He used the word 'fuck' like others said 'please' or 'thanks', just more viciously and with more versatile applications. He punched people he hated and sometimes he punched people he maybe-still-kind-of-loved. He spent entirely too much time looking at another boy and even more time just thinking about him.

In the recesses of his mind, a voice that sounded too reasonable to not have been inspired by Gansey told him that he was just using this as a substitute instead of actually getting a proper therapist. That even someone like Ronan Lynch occasionally needed someone who listened to him without bias.

Pastor Denver, surprisingly, was someone like that.

For all intents and purposes, he shouldn't have been.

He was from somewhere in Virginia, another town much like Henrietta, maybe even a little more backwater. Not an Aglionby boy himself, but still from a well-to-do family. Upstandingly pious and simply born and raised in a different time.

Boys who came to him after service or throughout the week spoke of weed and other vices. They confessed frustration with their studies, anger at their parents. They were told to speak three Ave Marias, they did, they felt absolved.

Ronan, who did not believe in sins, did not believe in absolution either.

"What brings you here, my child?" Pastor Denver asks kindly when Ronan pulls the rickety door of the confessional shut behind himself and sinks down on the worn velvet of the bench. Pastor Denver does not have to glance through the grid separating the two stalls to know who he is talking to. He'll recognize Ronan's voice, of course, but he also recognizes Ronan's gait, Ronan's attitude.

Ronan never says, Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned, as sins are void and meaningless, a human invention where he believed in animal law.

"He had a fight with Blue and they broke up. I think. They didn't really say anything."

No introduction, no pleasantries. Pastor Denver does not need them.

"Did that make you feel relief?" he asks.

Numbly, Ronan shakes his head, his near-naked scalp dragging against the wooden wall behind him. Pastor Denver can't see that, though, so Ronan says, "I wasn't relieved. I was..." He ponders on the word, finds no better one. "Sad."

"Why sad?" "Because," he says slowly, "I thought they would be good. For each other. Blue would be good for him."

"Do you think he needs someone good?" "He needs someone who loves him."

"And did she?"

"I thought so," Ronan purses his lips. If he really thinks about it, it's stupid. Blue is sixteen and scruffy and hungry for something more than another Henrietta kid also hungry for something more. They are too alike in that regard. Too starved for change.

Ronan balls his hands to fists and unclenches them. He has too much change in his bones.

"Maybe she did," he continues, "Maybe she could have, eventually. But now that's done."

He had seen the look in Blue's eyes when she looked at who was now her ex though he had never really been her boyfriend to begin with wasn't the look of teenage girl who felt she had been wronged, though Ronan had to admit that he didn't know much about teenage girls. Blue had been sad and scared and worried and angry and proud and selfless in her selfishness, and that Ronan did know a lot about.

“And he?” Pastor Denver asks. He never says the name, though Ronan thinks that might be because he himself had never explicitly mentioned it. Maybe Pastor Denver thinks he has been talking about Gansey all this time, or about some other boy. Or maybe Ronan is really that obvious. That is his greatest fear, next to night terrors and memories of finding his father's body or thinking of wasps in Gansey's mouth, his lungs, his heart.

“He what?” he asks.

“Did he love her?”

Ronan thinks about his own wording for a long moment, even though he has known the answer for a long while.

“I think he is so starved for love that he would accept it from anyone at all,” he tries finally. Maybe this is why he never needed to say the name here; it obviously wasn't about Gansey. “I think he doesn't quite know the difference and so he would hold on to cheap facsimiles.”

It had taken months and a deaf ear to finally get him out of that trailer park and, on some days, he still seemed like he'd rather go back that acknowledge that his own parents did not love him in a way that deserved to be call love.

“And you?” Pastor Denver asks and Ronan sucks in a breath. They'd never spoken about that either. It had hung there, like cobwebs surreptitiously spun in the dark and when you took a step to far you got a mouthful of it and couldn't help but feel betrayed even though it was you who had decided to not simply turn on the lights.

“Doesn't matter,” he says, drawing a veil of carelessness over his voice, “This is not about me.”

He likes to pretend, sometimes, that he is not here for himself. Not for his supposed sins, certainly, but also not for his souls. Just a favor for a friend who does not know about it.

This is not about how Kavinsky calls him faggot and makes suggestive gestures at him. Not about how Adam and Gansey and even fucking Noah make cow eyes at Blue like breasts were a new invention. It's not about Ronan deciding against sleep and nightmares and lying awake in the dark instead, turning the word 'gay' over and over in his mind. Maybe that's it, though. Maybe he is actually sleeping when he thinks about it, maybe him poking at it and touching it with curious hands had made it become real. Maybe it never was a part of him, but he made it one, because it was a strange dream thing and he had brought it into his world.

Maybe it could be unmade.

“Ronan,” Pastor Denver says and it's rare that he addresses him directly because this is still happening under the guise of faux anonymity.. Automatically, Ronan sits up a little straighter. He does not do that for just any authority figure, but clergymen are to be respected, for the most part.

“Ronan,” the old man repeats and he has leaned forward a little. The tip of his hooked nose is barely visible behind the grid. “You are very mature, for your age.”

It's rare that someone would say that about Ronan. Most people think him a prissy brat, an adolescent caught in his rebellious phase who needed someone to shake him and set him on a straight path again.

Hah, Ronan thinks pathetically. Straight.

Pastor Denver knows a little about Ronan, of course. He knows of his murdered father and his comatose mother and his overbearing older brother. The Lynch family name in general is well known, though people know little about the individuals.

So maybe Pastor Denver inferred that Ronan was mature by the way he had not shed a single tear at his father's open grave, had instead held his little brother's hand because their mother was already absent even then. Maybe he could tell from the blue shadows underneath Ronan's eyes and the way his jaw was almost continuously gritted in a manner that was not at all recommended by leading dentists. Maybe he had heard enough confessions in his life to be able to suss people out, just like that.

“But you are also still very young,” Pastor Denver continuous and that, at least, is familiar territory. Unlike Declan, however, he manages to say it without condescension.

“So?” Ronan demands anyway, his shoulders hunching up in a reaction he tells himself is more aggressive than defensive.

“It's alright for you to feel like you don't quite fit,” Pastor Denver says in his broad Virginian accent. When he preaches, his Latin has the same accent and Ronan has always liked something about that, too, that it was not really a dead language, but that it still developed and adapted. “It's alright if there are parts of you that you don't yet understand.”

He means the unspoken gay thing and the not-all-done-with-puberty thing. The you-experienced-terrible-tragedy-at-a-very-crucial-stage-in-your-life thing is in there, too, probably, but Ronan kind of wants to laugh. The pastor, for all his belief in higher powers, knows not a thing about dreams or ley lines or immortal kings.

But he does know how Ronan's voice goes a little tender, a little reverent when he speaks of the boy with the name-that-is-not-named, and maybe that is enough.

“What should I do?” Ronan asks, even though he never asks anyone for advice ever.

“Go,” Pastor Denver says heartily, “Live a little, enjoy the day. You never know how many there are left.”

“Carpe diem?” Ronan says wryly, “Really?”

“YOLO, as the the youngins say,” Pastor Denver replies, flippant. “Oh God,” Ronan snorts, his abs contracting with what wants to be full-bellied laughter, and he doesn't even care that he took the Lord's name in vain while in church because the priest honestly just said YOLO and that is probably just as bad.

Pastor Denver has no idea that death features a little more prominently in the lives of Ronan and his friends, but maybe his words have some wisdom to them anyway.

“Run along now,” the old man tells him, “From what I could smell over the incense there were at least two of your peers who need to repent for the use of certain borderline illegal substances.”

Ronan grins, already getting up from his seat, when he remembers something.

“Should I pray?” he asks, fingertips on the brazen door handle.

“No,” the pastor says, “There are no sins to absolve. Go buy yourself some ice cream and enjoy the sunshine.”

So Ronan goes, saunters down along the side of the pews where the boys who sing in the choir are almost done with re-arranging the Bibles. He's got his hands jammed into the pockets of his slacks, though it does not quite have the same effect as it would with his ripped jeans, and when he gets to the heavy oaken doors he shoves one open with his left shoulder.

Light greets him, almost blinding after the comforting darkness of the confessional, and he has to blink and wait for his eyes to adjust.

When he does, his very own messiah is awaiting him.

Sitting on the small set of stairs that leads up to the chapel, Adam Parrish has his elbows braced against his knees and it watching the sporadic Sunday morning traffic. When he hears the hinges of the door, he glances back and up at Ronan.

“Took a while,” he says, as though he had been waiting here since mass was over. Since before that, even.

“Got a lot of sins to get of my chest,” Ronan says, even though he does not believe in sins.

Adam looks at him like he might know that, but he just stands up, unnecessarily brushes the dust off his pants and asks , “Man upstairs been listening?”

“Nah,” Ronan tilts his head back, so far that the tendons in his neck are straining. He squints up at the violent blue of the sky. “He doesn't bother with the small fish.”

“Ronan Lynch, a small fish,” Adam echoes in disbelief, but then he jostles Ronan with his shoulder, “I would've thought you were a shark, with that smile and that blood thirst of yours.”

Ronan bares his teeth and jostles him right back, nearly hip-checks him right off the stairs and into the downtrodden grass. But a not-that-little part of him is pleased, pleased because apparently Adam sometimes thought about the way he smiled and, last year in Biology, the two of them had held a presentation about apex predators (upon Ronan's insistence), and Adam had gotten them an A by explaining how sharks were terribly misunderstood creatures who really did not kill all that many people.

Humans, they both knew, were the most fearsome animals of all.

“Wanna get some ice cream?” Ronan asks, non-sequitur.

“It's not that hot,” Adam says, as though no one had ever had ice cream outside of summer.

“C'mon,” Ronan says, “My treat.”

Wrong thing to say, of course.

“Ronan,” Adam starts, his chest puffing up.

“Hey,” Ronan says, poking him in the sternum. Adam's breath rushes out in a sudden gush.

“There's that hot air we need to justify getting ice cream,” Ronan teases, “You did your share, I'll do mine.”

He winks at him, quite cheekily, to defuse the bomb or take the wind out of Adam's desperately self-sufficient sails, he's not quite sure, and Adam-

Adam stills and glances away with lowered lashes.

“Alright,” he says, a little too softly to not make the moment feel somewhat meaningful, “Let's go.”

Together, they cross the parking lot, over to Ronan's gleaning BMW, and Ronan gets behind the wheel and Adam gets on the passenger seat. It's rare, these days, for them to be alone together, and that in itself makes it feel tantalizing. As though they were actually going on a date, instead of Ronan just playing make-belief.

That's fine, though. Ronan has always been a dreamer.

And, he reminds himself, as he revs the engine but does not turn up his thudding music, his dreams have a habit of becoming reality anyway.

Song of Solomon 4:7 You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.

[crvwly]

anyway i feel like this is extremely topical at the moment so if anyone is interested, this is the piece i recently wrote on representation in media and why it’s important. some names are redacted bc i wrote this for my university newspaper but it doesn’t change much!

According to the US Census, about 40 percent of the country is composed of people of color—in Hollywood’s world, however, only a quarter of all characters are non-white, and something isn’t adding up.

“We live in this community where popular media is catered to white, cisgender, straight, and able-bodied people, especially men,” J. F., a CU Denver English major, said. “Positively representing minorities in media acknowledges that they do exist and they are important. It allows them to look up to someone just like them and show them that it’s okay to be who they are.”

Unfortunately, many minority groups are given hardly any material to love and identify with. According to the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), less than five percent of characters on TV in 2016 were identified as part of the LGBTQ+ community, which is the highest that rate has ever been. The list of media representation gets more depressing as it goes on. A report from The Media, Diversity, & Social Change (MDSC) Initiative at USC’s Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism found that, in 2015, less than two and a half percent of characters in film had a disability. The same study showed that only 28 percent of characters were non-white, and barely 33 percent of characters were women.

In case it wasn’t obvious enough, here it is spelled out: women make up half the world’s population, but are only represented as a third of the world’s population in TV and movies.

Minority characters in TV and movies are also negatively stigmatized, abused, and killed on TV shows and movies for what people have started to call the “trauma porn” genre. The minority characters are typically built up to be very genuine, kind, well-mannered characters in order to get the audience to grow attached to them, after which they are beaten down to their last grain of sanity or physical strength, and usually killed. One trend within the trauma porn genre is called the “bury your gays” trope, in which gay characters are killed off for shock value.

This past October, a new sports anime about figure skating—Yuri!!! On Ice—premiered and, as its opening song implies, ‘made history’ by having an openly gay and interracial relationship between two main characters on Japanese television.

A lot of shows—sports animes in particular—are guilty of queerbaiting viewers by writing characters to appear stereotypically queer without following through in the show. Yuri!!! On Ice, however, stunned the audience by doing the opposite; there was very little queer coding aside from the romantic interactions between the two main characters, and by making the focus of the show the skaters’ careers, it proved that gay people don’t need to be hair-flipping, scarf-wearing, and flamboyant to be gay.

The main characters’ relationship wasn’t the only feature of interest that had fans hooked on the show. Both men, Viktor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki, suffered from mental illnesses that were directly addressed throughout the course of the show. Viktor had depression and Yuuri had severe anxiety and panic attacks.

Many mentally ill queer fans have latched onto these characters like a lifeline. Their narrative is far different than the many others spun out for queer characters on TV. The show doesn’t focus on the trials and tribulations of being a queer person; it’s about figure skating and love of all different kinds, and one of those kinds just happens to be between two men. There are no painful coming out stories, no family disownment, and absolutely no gay people are killed. The characters are relatable to queer people without making the story about how horribly and painful it is to be a queer person.

Another trope is called “disposable women,” in which female characters are killed off to motivate the male lead’s plot and character development.

A list of minority character deaths which occurred for no significant reason includes: Poussey Washington (Orange is the New Black), a black lesbian; Lexa (The 100), a lesbian; Queen Ygraine (Merlin); Mary Winchester (Supernatural); Abbie Mills (Sleepy Hollow), a black woman; Larry Blaisdell (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), a gay man; Michael Corrigan (House of Cards), a black gay man; and about a thousand more.

These characters can further the plot and the diversity of the show without being killed off for shock value. Poussey Washington’s death aired in the midst of the growing Black Lives Matter movement and was supposedly meant to show solidarity. However, rather than having the show’s characters host a rally or the show creators coming together to give a message of gratitude for those in need, they killed yet another black person. The major problem with this kind of representation is that it tells the people who identify with these characters that they are expendable if it benefits someone else, and real life tells them this enough already.

“When roles are given to people in media that aren’t accurate representations or aren’t representation at all, it leaves an entire perspective out,” B. N., an MSU Denver student, said. “We already live in a society where rights aren’t given to real people in those marginalized communities. When inaccurate narratives are shown to the majority group, it makes them think that a more diverse population doesn’t exist and doesn’t deserve rights or recognition. Putting focus and value on marginalized communities gives them more power, which is the reason that a lot of people don’t do it.”

However, creating diverse stories has caused a problem when it comes to casting actors to fill those roles. Doctor Strange, a new Marvel movie, recently came out and met strong audience backlash when it was discovered that the Tibetan characters were cast as white and other non-Asian actors, including Benedict Cumberbatch and Tilda Swinton, the two leads.

This act of whitewashing is nowhere near an isolated event in Hollywood, and it occurs in other formats as well; there is a growing trend of casting cisgender actors to play transgender roles and having straight actors play queer characters, and the worst part is that the actors are applauded for their bravery in taking on such “controversial” jobs. Offenders include Eddie Redmayne (The Danish Girl), Jared Leto (Dallas Buyer’s Club), Johnny Depp (The Lone Ranger), Jennifer Lawrence (The Hunger Games), and dozens more.

“People shouldn’t be able to proclaim that stories include a transgender narrative unless there’s a transgender actor filling that role,” B.N. said. “The same goes for narratives that are meant for people of color, or disabled people. Getting proper representation is a big step toward getting positive representation.”

Society’s lacking representation of minority groups is what makes shows like Yuri!!! On Ice such a fantastic reprieve. The creator, Kubo Mitsurou, tweeted a few weeks before the show’s finale, “No matter what everyone in the real world thinks of this work, the world within it will remain a place where there will be no discrimination for what you love. I will protect that world, no matter what it takes, even if it’s the last thing I do.” She stood astoundingly true to her word to the last episode. The show was, at its core, happy, and clearly intended to make the LGBTQ+ community feel welcome.

“Seeing yourself in media is so important for validating your identity and coming to love and accept yourself,” B.N. said. Having positive representations of marginalized groups is about more than proving to majority groups that minorities exist outside of their stereotypes. There’s more to representation than sticking a few people of color, queer people, and women in the backgrounds of movies and television shows. Allowing young people to grow up and be inspired by fictional characters that look like them and feel like them gives those kids the ability to think, “If they can be successful, strong, and happy, then I can, too.”

[ecoorganic]

Porter posts 2nd straight 30-point game, Nuggets beat Spurs

LAKE BUENA VISTA, Fla. (AP) Michael Porter Jr. had 30 points and 15 rebounds, and the Denver Nuggets rallied in the fourth quarter to beat the San Antonio Spurs 132-126 on Wednesday.

Nikola Jokic added 25 points and 11 assists. Jerami Grant finished with 22 points.

Two days after posting a career-high 37 points in Denver's win over Oklahoma City, Porter stayed hot, scoring 10 of the Nuggets' first 16 points against San Antonio. He credited Jokic's style of play for his success.

''If you know me, the Nuggets drafted me as a scorer,'' Porter said. ''They knew that was one of my big strengths. Playing with a superstar who would rather pass the ball than shoot the ball obviously is going to work out for both of us.''

Jokic said having Porter being so active is also helping to open up the floor for everyone.

''You know he's going to make the shot. He's going to be there. He's going to rebound. He's a big target for me,'' Jokic said. ''Just to know you have a really good player, a talented player, they cannot help with him. It's helping me in that kind of way.''

Denver (45-23) led by as many as 12 in the first half before falling behind by nine in the third quarter. But the Nuggets found their footing in the final period, using a 13-4 run to nudge back in front 110-101 with 5:42 to play.

San Antonio, which started the day two games behind Memphis for the final playoff spot in the West, dropped to 2-2 since the restart.

Rudy Gay scored 24 points and Derrick White added 23 points and seven assists for the Spurs (29-38).

Coach Gregg Popovich said despite the loss, his young players learned a lot having to contend with a passer and rebounder as good as Jokic.

''It should be an NBA rule: You can't tap it to yourself,'' Popovich said. ''He taps it two or three times, then he gets it and lays it back in. It's not just luck. He does it all the time.''

Denver played short-handed for the third straight game with Jamal Murray (left hamstring), Will Barton (left knee soreness) and Gary Harris (strained right hip) all out.

Still, coach Michael Malone said even with a playoff spot already secure, he wanted to see his team build good habits over its final games before the start of the playoffs.

''There's no magic wand that I have, where I can just come into a meeting and say, `OK, playoffs are here. Let's start playing at a high level,''' Malone said. ''That's something that you have to build on every single day, creating those habits. The last two games you've seen that.''

The Nuggets showed some of that urgency at the outset, sprinting out to a 16-4 lead and prompting Popovich to pull his entire starting lineup.

Denver continued to lead for most of the first half before San Antonio surged in the second quarter, connecting on four 3-pointers. The Spurs went 7 of 16 from beyond the arc in the opening 24 minutes and took a 65-62 lead into halftime.

TIP-INS

Nuggets: Torrey Craig left the game with a bloodied mouth at the 2:30 mark of the second quarter after being smacked in the face by San Antonio's Drew Eubanks as he spun underneath the basket. Eubanks received a flagrant foul on the play. Craig returned to the game.

Spurs: Marco Belinelli was available after missing two straight games with a left foot sprain but did not play.

QUOTABLE

''The funny thing is, I thought about this today, thinking about Michael Porter. Michael Porter was not selected to play in the Rising Stars Game this year. Are you kidding me?'' - Malone.

UP NEXT

Nuggets: Play Portland on Thursday

Spurs: Play Utah on Friday

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