#gauntwood headcanons
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Headcanon that at some point, when they are like 27/28 Gauntwood goes on like a 1 month "vacation" without any of the staff. It will be nice to be truly alone together. They rent a cabin that is a bit isolated, not to far form markets and such.
However, they forgot to account for the fact that they don't know how to take care of themselves:
Day 1&2
Going alright, they brought a few meals with them.
they are free to love each other openly in this private place, this place is beautiful and they love it!
except when they go to bed, they note that the bed had not been made that morning. This is never properly resolved. There are a few attempts to make it, but they resign themselves to a poorly made (mostly an unmade) bed
Day 3
Prepared meals are gone. they go to the market, They have a fun time.
Sidney has no doubts they can figure it out, Henry is like, "Have you ever cooked a chicken before?"Well, no, but I used to watch my mum do it when I was a kid," Henry has absolute faith in his husband because he's an idiot
“So we just put it in the oven? The chicken and the veggies?" "Yeah that's how my mum did it!" (They are making roast potatoes, carrots, and chicken)
they didn't use any seasonings, butter, or oil, the chicken is overcooked, so dry and plain. The potatoes and carrots are too hard and burnt at the same time.
"Sidney, I love you, but this is disgusting."
“No, you're right. If you stop loving me, I'll understand."
they end up picking through it just eating the least inedible parts it's not a lot, and they eat a lot packaged snacks that night
Day 5
Henry has a brilliant (terrible) idea, he's going to make them breakfast, eggs, and lamb sausage.
Sidney comes into the kitchen when there is smoke everywhere
they put out the smoke, and the (unseasoned) eggs are burnt to the pan.
"WHAT is going on!!!" "I was uhh... making breakfast..."Why did you cook it so long?" "Excuse me, I didn't want us to get salmonella!"
For dinner, they plan to make pasta. Together, this is going to be a team effort. Henry immediately puts the dry noodles in a pot and no water, Sidney stops him.
They call Maud, and she laughs at her useless brother and his husband but agrees to help
"Okay now you'll wanna add any veggies to the sauce" "veggies...?i didn't get any" "okay skip that, just add your seasonings" "seasonings?" "Okay... it gonna be a bit plain"
"Why are all noodles sticking together weird?" "Did you salt the water like I said?" "Oh..."
S: what if we heat the water up twice as hot , then we can cook the noodles half the time
H: No, it will probably burn them
M: idiots you can't heat water past boiling
Pasta is plain, but edible
Other cooking mishaps:
Pasta take 2: no veggies again, goes way to hard on the seasonings, add like every single one, there is cinnamon in the pasta
Henry makes eggs(unseasoned) bacon and toast (only a little burnt)
"Henry, I love you so much, and this is so sweet, but I don't eat pork"
"Oh god! I knew that! The butcher was just looking at me, and I panicked. " Henry is about to cry
Sidney spends way too long slicing (mutilating) a loaf of bread with a meat knife
Cleaning
By day 3 all of their clothes are wrinkled because they don't know how to iron and they didn't pack them well
It fine they are mostly being seen by just each other, but it makes them feel icky
At the market a woman is looking at henry, and he get insecure and just tells her unprompted that his wife is too sick to iron
By 2 weeks in they have no clean clothes
S: What if we just sent it all to the dry cleaner
H: You wanna send our underwear to the dry cleaners? No we are supposed to be learning this, we are living a simple life
S: What if we were just naked from now on
Back on the phone with Maud, they learn how to wash clothes. They have pasta stained clothes they can't fix. Clothes are wearable again, still wrinkly :(
They wash no dishes for the first 4 days, it's a terrible mess. It takes 15 min to scrub the burnt pan because they didn't realise they can soak the bad dishes
The whole place is a bit dusty by the end
Fun stuff
There is a lake on the property and they go skinny dipping
They fish (and successfully cook it over a fire)
Stargaze: “hey did you that constellation [insert greek info dump]” nerd
Ellwood convinces Gaunt to dance with him
They play card games
They get to be domestic without any prying eyes
Overall, they had a great time! They picked up some novice-level skills along the way and, despite the chaos, they’d be willing to try this again in the future (and they do). When they get back they are this close to kissing Luis on the mouth.
#posts by me#they want to cosplay plebs but they are incapable#gauntwood being domestic#gauntwood headcanons#headcanon#inaccuracy? girl mind your business#i open tumblr on computer to write this cuz it was getting unmaginable#i have to write all my thought or some will feel left out#they love luis so much#and all their staff#useless gays being useless#in memoriam alice winn#henry gaunt#sidney ellwood#alice winn#gauntwood#in memoriam#in memoriam by alice winn#maud gaunt#they owe maud their life#almost literally#i say they do it again#because this definitely one of those thing where it was terrible but like it made a great story and memories are fond and you did have fun#so fuck it were doing it again#but not for atleast 6-10years#maybe im too nice#they probs have ptsd stuff ruining the vibe in general but i ignore that so i can enjoy life#i dont think keeps kosher i think he just doesn't eat pork - his mother didn't keep it in the house and this just sticks with him#confusing feelings about being jewish are back for ellwood
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in my head, in brazil, they own a cat named marie. marie loves henry. marie despises sidney. the compromise? they keep marie.
ps!! thank u to my dear friends @loafwins for supporting the initial headcanon, and @jovienna for supplying the meme content 🙏 my actual darlings and saints of IM thank u very much <3
#alice winn#in memoriam#sidney ellwood#henry gaunt#gauntwood#so now my standing headcanons include: elly's beauty marks AND marie.
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in memoriam headcanons idk
gaunt is an excellent cook (contrary to ellwood, who is a walking fire hazard)
up until the declaration of war in 1914, west genuinely believed that queen victoria was ruler of the united kingdom
sometimes, ellwood would strut walk around the preshute grounds with a ‘cane’ (it’s an umbrella)
gaunt took an embarrassingly long time to learn how to swim (~12y/o) and ellwood’s the only person who knows about it
grimsey bears duelling scars on his cheek (courtesy of a particularly strenuous fencing match in hundreds) and ellwood used to be really jealous of it— at least, before enlistment
people at preshute used to joke that gaunt was ellwood’s ‘guard dog’. ‘where’s his leash?’ etc etc.
post-war, maud and elisabeth attend university together and quickly become… roommates 🤨 (elisabeth had the wrong branch, but the right family tree!)
ellwood and his mother used to pretend that they were siblings as a joke
gaunt loves to see ellwood grow old & collected the first fragments of his greying hairs in a mason jar (ellwood thought that growing old as a dastardly and demeaning process—gaunt thinks it is beautiful.)
maud is a dog person. i picture her with a large guard breed, like a maremma or german shepherd. she’s still fond of cats tho
+ more if people ask for it? idk
#in memoriam alice winn#alice winn#in memoriam#gauntwood#i don’t really like that ship name idk why#it doesn’t hit#but i can’t think of an alternative#headcanons#headcanon
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idk why but i can only picture ellwood with curly blonde hair despite all the descriptions of his hair being dark and slicked back with wax... i also picture gaunt as having brown hair rather than sandy... idk how i'm going to cope when they adapt it into a film and they aren't exactly as i imagined them
#this all stems from me relating them to enjolras and remus lupin respectively#at least i'm self aware#in memoriam#alice winn#in memoriam alice winn#gauntwood#sidney ellwood#henry gaunt#headcanon
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some gauntwood headcanons taken from the headcanon generator
bonus:
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I’M HOME I’M HOME AND I’VE COME HOME TO A LOVELY HOMEMADE DINNER THANK YOU!!!!!!
in my head, in brazil, they own a cat named marie. marie loves henry. marie despises sidney. the compromise? they keep marie.
ps!! thank u to my dear friends @loafwins for supporting the initial headcanon, and @jovienna for supplying the meme content 🙏 my actual darlings and saints of IM thank u very much <3
#I LOVE THISSSSSS#everyone headcanoning gauntwood with pets is correct#jo please keep tagging me in IM fanart I am LIVING!!!!!!!!!#in memoriam alice winn#in memoriam fanart#others art#sidney ellwood#henry gaunt#gauntwood
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