#garrus is just confused as fuck

[lilmissnatcat24]

for no other reason than i worked at an ice cream shop for eight years, here's what ice cream the mass effect characters would eat

shepard: neapolitan, strawberry for their paragon side, chocolate for their renegade, vanilla to balance

garrus: moose tracks, but will pick it apart just for the peanut butter cups and give shepard the leftovers

tali: literally any booze flavored ice cream

liara: mint chocolate chip because she secretly kind've fucks with the taste of toothpaste but will never admit it out loud

kaidan: butter pecan. it's not everyone's favorite, but it's his, and he's totally cool with it

ashley: whatever the 2183 equivalent to the tonight dough. cookie dough chunks, brownie chunks, butterscotch, chocolate chips, malt chunks, everything

wrex: this man is old as balls!!!!!! rum raisin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

joker: lemon sherbet. you cannot tell me that man is not lactose intolerant

miranda: cherries garcia, little bit sweet, little bit tart

jack: the most sickening sweet shit you can think of. cotton candy with marshmallow superman with a side of sugar

jacob: some sort of dark chocolate peanut butter ice cream that sounds good in theory but in reality you can only take like 3 bites of before you get a tummy ache

zaeed: banana splits that he likes to mash together with a spoon and eat like some deconstructed milkshake

kasumi: the weird avant gard shit you see in hipster vegan shops, like some bacon sweet potato rosebud ice cream

mordin: coffee ice cream, because he likes the taste of coffee but if he were to actually drink it he would spontaneously combust

grunt: those froyo shops that were everywhere in 2014 where you could make a bowl with like 5% froyo and 95% other toppings and it cost 14 dollars

thane: doesn't like ice cream because it reminds him of how he abandoned his child and how his wife is dead and he could never go back to the life he left behind, the life of stability, because his body is engineered for a deadly purpose and he can never atone for his sins rocky road

samara: this woman is old as balls!!!!!!!!!!!!! pistachio!!!!!!!!!!!

legion: tried vanilla ice cream. too sticky, got stuck in his wiring.

james: one of those brownie sundaes that weighs approximately 5 pounds and is majority whipped cream

steve: chocolate chip. classy, just like him ;)

traynor: something smooth and rich and velvety and inexplicably sexy, like raspberry chocolate chunk

edi: takes the idea of ice cream a little too literally and just has a bowl of heavy cream with ice cubes. is confused why everyone is disgusted.

javik: ice cream is for primitives (peaches and cream)

[thefloatingstone]

Ah thanks for the input.

I think I can see the concerns but I think I also largely disagree with them. Not completely, but at least to a point.

DeviantArt has had subscriptions for literal decades. I remember paying $25 for a yearly subscription membership when I was still in high school (which would have been before 2005). I only stopped paying for it when they changed the yearly price from $25 to $50 and I could no longer afford it.

This was also while I was still in high school.

I know people don't like hearing it, but servers and server space costs money. It's a sad reality but a true one. I had a ton of anxiety about the future of tumblr a year or so ago which still flares up now and then about the financial space the site is in and whether it can keep up its server costs. Since it's implemented a LOT more ways to actually generate income, I have been less stressed about it. Because I want to stay here and I want the site to stay here.

But I also understand that just because a site needs to profit doesn't mean it has to suck. I am not a fan of Eclipse and I hope they push out a new update soon to change the site layout again or something. But I don't think something drastic like a blackout for what tumblr could potentially BECOME one day in the future is the right move.

It feels histrionic and reactionary because Reddit is doing it. And a few people unhappy with a new changes are wanting to do something similar to enact change. But I don't think the current state of the site warrants such a dramatic reaction.

And if it's a reaction to what tumblr COULD become, well... I just try not to live my life like that. Another anxiety disorder thing which I am trying hard to combat is to constantly fret and plan and try to prevent future disasters. I am trying more and more to live in the fact that the moment is ok.

Right now the site is ok, but it has problems that need addressing. So the solution is to figure out how to address those problems. And I don't think running for the torches and pitchforks because of some perceived future threat is the way to go.

The porn bots are a problem, but at the same time the sudden influx tells me that these bot creators see tumblr as valuable enough to waste their efforts on with bots, which is in my book a good sign for the site's health. They didn't bother with us for a while there when things were looking very rocky. So they need to go away but also I'm glad enough they see us as worthwhile enough to try and scam.

Also just wondering rhetorically here; how many people screaming for a blackout have actually contacted the site to voice these concerns? I don't mean making posts complaining about it, I mean talking to @wip sending in feedback via the feedback system, reporting bugs or glitches, sending emails etc etc

Or were the torches and pitchforks the A plan?

and also i get the whole tumblr strike idea but literally the worst fucking thing you could have done is give those clowns a deadline for when the strike ends because they'll just sit on their asses, wait 48 hours and then it's back to business and attempting to form parasocial relationships with their user base again

[girafficparka]

Untitled WIP I’ve been working on off and on to help with writers block for a different fic. I kinda really liked it so here ya go!

Inspiration: mass effect 3 owes me a decent shep/garrus/kaiden love triangle, and I plan to collect.

~~~

“I don’t know what you’re in the mood for tonight, Shepard. But Vega insists that we watch something called…Hard Death?” Garrus was saying as he entered her cabin. He was reviewing the title of the vid on his omni-tool. “Scratch that. Die Hard. He said it was a traditional human holiday vid, so I thought…Shepard?”

He stopped short when he looked up and caught Shepard staring at him, silently, from her couch. Humans weren’t exactly the easiest species to read - they were expressive, but often he could never figure out what each of their hundred of expressions meant - but he’d like to think he knew Shepard pretty well. She looked…stricken.

“Shepard?” he repeated, fully entering her cabin and approaching her. He went to sit next to her but she held up a hand to stop him. He paused at an awkward angle, halfway between standing leaning down to sit next to her. She stood up, standing in front of him with her hands fidgeting before her. He had never seen her look so…nervous.

“Shepard,” he repeated, for the third time, his voice soft. Confused. “Talk to me.”

“I…I have something to tell you and I don’t…want to.”

Well this was new. Shepard wasn’t afraid of anything, least of that being talking.

Thoroughly confused, he asked, “Ok?”

Shepard stared up at him and pulled her lower lip into her mouth, biting it. He’d seen her do that before, in a very different circumstance. Here it was just further proof that she was worrying. Panicking. “You are starting to freak me out a little bit here, Shepard.”

Shepard released her lip with a POP and raised a hand, running it through her fringe - er, hair. Judging by how it was sticking up she had been doing that for awhile.

“Are you hur-” he started, reaching out a hand to touch her face.

“Kaiden came by. A little bit ago.” Garrus’ hand froze. He didn’t know why, but the way she had said it…made him feel cold. He waited for her to continue, dropping his hand. Shepard’s green gaze followed it’s movement before she dropped her own hand from her hair. Her eye flicked between his for a moment before she let out a harsh breath, turning away from him to pace.

“He…said he wants to try again. After that bullshit he pulled I almost threw him out. But…he seemed…sincere. He kept bringing up Ilium and the SR1 and…uggh.”

Garrus remained silent, and frozen, where he had paused near the couch.

“I didn’t tell him yes. But I did…agree to a date. One date. We never got closure after…I died. Not really. And I wasn’t sure if we - you and I I mean - were still, I mean you’ve been back no the Normandy for a month and we haven’t even talked about…oh my god, I’m rambling. I never ramble.” Shepard stopped her pacing, turning to look at Garrus. “If you tell me not to go I won’t go.”

That pulled him out of stasis. “What? Why is that my decision?”

And it was an easy decision.

No.

Don’t go on a date with Kaiden spirits fucking forsaken Alenko. He had his shot, and he blew it. It was Garrus’ turn now. But what had he been doing with ‘his turn’? (and how pissed would Shepard be if she could read his thoughts right now). Movie nights, quips across the battle field, platonic if lingering touches as they hung out in the battery. She was right, he’d been back on board the Normandy for a month and he had nothing to show for it. He’d had a chance - a hundred chances - to bring up how he felt about her but he hadn’t. She’d always seemed so stressed, so harried. He hadn’t wanted to burden her, to pressure her. He’d let her take the lead on their reconnection. She’d been friendly, so he’d been friendly. And every two minutes there was some damn crisis - a dalatrass to bribe, a galaxy-changing medical marvel to facilitate. He’d wanted to be the calm at the center of her numerous storms. And now it sounded like she’d been waiting for him to-

“We were, you know, together recently. So I thought-”

“Seven months ago.” Garrus clarified, unsure why he was bringing up the time frame.

“Huh?”

“We were together seven months ago. And we thought we were going to die.” What was he talking about? Why was he saying this?

Why did he sound so cold?

His tone tripped Shepard up. She suddenly looked less frantic. She stopped wringing her hands, and was looking at him with an expression he could not even begin to interpret. “You’re right. We didn’t make any promises to each other. You aren’t…responsible for me, nor I you. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you about this. I guess I just…wanted to make sure you and I are…good. If I do this - the date with Kaiden, I mean.”

Garrus needed to swing by the medbay - there was a pain in his gut that had to be from something physical - a bullet wound his medi-gel had somehow missed?

Tell her to not go out with him. Fucking idiot, tell her!

“We are good Shep. You go on that date - or not! Whatever…whatever you want. We are good.” Shep? Where the hell had that come from. “If that’s all, I got to go - guns to calibrate, you know-” Garrus began making his way back through the door. He paused at the doorway just as Shepard called.

“What were you…saying about a movie?”

“Uh, oh that? Nothing. I’ll tell you later. See you in the morning, Shepard.” And before he could say something embarrassing, or pitiful, he left.

As he made his way to the elevator he stumbled. He felt off-balance - like the artificial gravity had abruptly been turned off. What had just happened? What the hell had just happened? He felt a sick, heavy feeling rolling along his veins, originating from somewhere deep in his gut. As the doors slid open on the crew deck, Garrus had had the chance to examine the sensation coursing through his body, finally setting in his chest like a heavy weight.

Jealousy.

~~~fin, for now~~~

[littleshopofchaos]

Fuck it.

Gonna write a fanfic where my oc Athena Shepard has a twin brother Lou Shepard who is a merc and various members of Commander Shep ( Athena's crew) have met both Sheps but never tell anyone to keep up the stories that Commander Shep is an only child.

And then it gets to Mass Effect 2's opening and all shit breaks loose because people are confused because Commander Shep is working for Cerberus, whilst Lou has been causing chaos in the family name as a merc.

Then it gets to the end of Mass Effect 3 and Lou turns up to his sister's wedding, Tali in arm and Garrus is just like "What the fuck is going on?"

And it all ends with Hannah Shepard being like "Garrus, did you not meet them both on Omega?" And Garrus is like "I hate you all."

We could call it "The Merc Mindfuck" or "How To Solve A Problem Like Shepard"

[serendipitys-teapot]

Guys, guys, guys 🥰

Loyalty and Limerence just hit 🎉700 kudos🎉, and I'm just so touched and joyful that so many people read and enjoyed my last fic. Thank you to all my lovely readers!

I'm currently writing the last chapter of my next fic, which I'm really hoping to have edited and out the door in the near future. Side note, I think I'm going to look into commissioning some art for it, do I have any artist friends who might be interested before I go searching? I'm hoping to find someone whose style matches the vibe of the fic.

Speaking of which, I'd like to share a snippet from this fic for those who are interested!

“Who is she?” Shepard whispered as Jack took a few tentative steps closer to the asari standing by the fountain. “A Spectre.” Garrus growled under his breath, and she felt a shiver run down her spine as her entire body chilled. “It might not be the worst case scenario, but it’s damn close.” Shepard forced herself to stillness, even as every fiber of her being screamed for her to run. If Garrus thought it was safe to stay, then perhaps it was. But it was hard to not begin inching back into the shadows of the alleyway. Somewhere in the back of her brain, a voice chuckled as memories prickled across her skin like needles, pressing into all her most sensitive spots. I win again, Jane.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d show up.” Vasir announced flippantly, and Shepard looked up as Jack appeared to stiffen. “I gave you my fucking word, didn’t I?” She snapped angrily, and the asari’s amused brow crept further upward. “Whatever. You’re here now, and that’s what matters.” “Now what the fuck do you want from me? Who are you, and how did you get my contact info?” Jack took a step closer, and both began to speak with low voices that didn’t carry well across the space. They listened for a minute or two without picking up anything they could understand. Garrus cursed. “I don’t understand.” Shepard frowned as she looked at him in confusion. “Why isn’t Vasir attacking her? Don’t Spectres try to kill people like her?” Even as the words left her mouth, Shepard remembered the proposition given to her the instant before Saren had thrown her from the rooftop. “Or is Vasir trying to use her to get to us somehow?” Garrus seemed to consider his words before responding quietly as he looked back at her. “Spectres don’t always want to kill them. Sometimes they recruit them instead.” Shepard’s eyes widened in shocked surprise.

“Recruit them? So, you think Vasir wants to make Jack a Spectre?” “It’s possible. Either that, or she wants to recruit her to join Cerberus. It’s impossible to tell at this point.” They both watched as Vasir gestured to Jack, her expression turning serious as the human woman turned and rolled her eyes at something the asari had said. Vasir took a step closer, her smile returning as she placed a hand on Jack’s shoulder, causing her to look back up at her with suspicion. “Come on, we need to get out of here.” Garrus murmured as he gestured for Shepard to back up. Carefully, she scootched backwards before slowly getting to her feet, her heart suddenly hammering in her chest again. She’d been training for months, and yet this was the first time she’d truly been within danger’s reach since joining the crew. It made her knees weak, and she worked hard to reign in her fear. Taking one more step backwards, she froze as something clattered to the ground behind her. She turned to see a metal garbage bin on its side, the lid rolling to a stop noisily. Turning, she looked up in horror as Vasir’s and Jack’s eyes landed on their hiding spot. Vasir’s smiled widened like a snake’s as she brought her omni-tool up and said something under her breath. “Run.” Garrus hissed as he turned and took off down the alleyway, Shepard hot on his heels. “Liara, we’ve been spotted. We need an exit. Now!” “On it!” Their footsteps were now the ones echoing off the walls as they sprinted back the way they’d come, and though they couldn’t hear anyone pursuing, they could hear the far-off sound of sirens as they exited the alley into the busy shopping district. “She’s called C-Sec on us.” Garrus stated as he started off down the sidewalk, and Shepard noted with relief the difference in her stamina from the last time she’d followed him at a full sprint through the Citadel. “Do Spectres hold official ranks? Is that why they can command C-Sec officers?” Shepard asked as she caught up to him, the sirens growing ever louder. “C-Sec,” Garrus spat with a sneering flick of his mandibles, “are nothing more than pawns. The Spectres and the GETH move them around the board like game pieces for whatever purpose they need.” The words were said with such vehemence and spite that Shepard blinked in surprise. “Okay, I have an route for you, but you’re not going to like it.” Liara’s voice interrupted her thoughts, and Garrus groaned. “How far?” “You’re going to need to get all the way to the Silversun Strip.”

[skullmoss]

things i somehow forgot and then suddenly remembered while playing ME1, having not played it in idk over 5+ years??

>nihlus as a whole ass character. i confused him for saren. thought he was the dude who would betray us. i forgot that saren was a whole other turian. im sorry nihlus. RIP.

>that liara's mom is the big booby matriarch

>garrus would've happily shot down a ship and let hostages die just to take down One Dude

>conrad verner

>admiral hackett and how much i love that guy

>that kaidan fucking killed a man at brain camp

>rachni queen

>that wrex could also die on virmire

[thefloatingstone]

Mass Effect mod list

Ok I said I'd make a list of the Mods I have installed for Mass Effect. Sorry it took me a while.

All my mods are just tweaks and adjustments, nothing that actually changes vanilla in any meaningful way or alters what the core experience is like.

This list is spoiler free

First off, some pointers;

You will need the Mass Effect Mod manager. It works the same as the Mod Manager used for Skyrim, but this one is specific to Mass Effect. You can find it here

For textures, the Mods and Tweaks manager has automatically included the program needed to mod textures for the game. I don't need to teach you how to use these programs as they have built-in tutorials and on screen instructions that walk you through everything.

I learned this the hard way. Only change textures AFTER you have added all the mods you want (that are not texture based). If you change the textures and then want to add more mods, the mod manager will stop you because this confuses how it applies the mods + textures. So make sure to do ALL your mods before you add texture changes.

Whatever else mods you add, make sure to add the LE1 Community Patch, the Unofficial LE2 patch, and the LE3 Community Patch. These are general patches that fixes bugs. That's it. They just fix bugs. But they are essential.

Ok! With all of that out of the way, here you go! No "read more" thing, we die like men.

1: Default Femshep Retexture.

This was actually one of the main reasons I wanted to mod my game. This mod's texture doesn't change Jane Shepard's iconic design, it just uh... makes it better. Mostly because a bunch of game dev dudes are not the best to understanding things like.... make up.

This texture makes Shepard look less like a straight guy's idea of a drag queen and more like an actual person who knows what they're doing would. It also gives her freckles better placement and makes her eyebrows.... less like that.

I love this mod to death. I nearly cried when I saw how good she looks in-game

2: Iconic Femshep Hair Fix For LE3

For reasons unknown, Bioware did not give Jane Shepard her iconic hairstyle in the third game. (Probably for the same reason nobody has the right blood colour in the third game either) This makes sure she has the right hair style in the finale.

3: LE1, LE2 and LE3 Garrus and Turians - Face and Eyes Textures

I'm only linking the first game's but make sure to get the same for the 2nd and 3rd game.

For whatever reason, the Turians often get shafted in the texture department. There is also a bug which has apparently been fixed in the Legendary Edition where Garrus' texture will load in super low res.

This just fixes some resolution issues, fixes their eyes, and just improves the over-all skin texture. Again, this made Garrus and the other Turians look so good I almost cried.

4: Immersive Emails

When the third game launched, there was an app you could get for your phone (irl I mean) where the characters would message you depending on decisions you make in the game itself. Including getting messages from whoever you decide to romance. Sadly the app was never available in my country, but the screenshots were circulated a lot.

(He's asking if you wanna fuck)

Anyway, with the app now defunct, this mod adds ALL the messages into the game itself to appear in your in-game emails instead.

Highly recommend not only for the romance ones, but because in one of the best DLCs in the final game, you get to hear everyone essentially yelling at each other in the Normandy Discord chat, and I imagine that's basically what these messages kinda are.

5: Some mods that restore things that were accidentally removed in the Legendary Edition

Admiral Daro'Xen Restored Kirrahe Makes Good Missing Codex Restored (ME2LE) BUGFIX Genesis Intro Dialogue Undo Mod - Legendary Edition

6: Kasumi Dress ported to Citadel DLC

You get a cocktail dress in the 2nd game as part of a mission which has also become rather iconic.

This ports it over to the third game for a specific mission which required formal wear.

This mod isn't essential at all, I just like the 2nd game's dress a lot

7: Casual Underwear for Femshep

For reasons I'm sure will forever remain a mystery to us 🙄 Shepard's default underwear in the game is like.... lacey and frilly and shit?

That's fine if you like that sort of thing but it really clashes with her personality as well as like... it doesn't make a lot of sense? And in the modder's own words: "I discovered the butt window on femshep's underwear today which sent me into a spiraling modding frenzy (that and fuzzy memories of how awkward the ME3 cutscenes-)"

Anyway this mod replaces the horny game devs' underwear with something that's more in character for her.

(also low key Athletic underwear is a lot sexier imo)

8: Casual Hubs for LE1

The Team Mates wear their casual outfits while on the Normandy or on a non-threatening world like the Citadel. I like this one because I always felt it must be uncomfortable for them, especially when Shepard is allowed to wear her casual outfits on the ship.

There is also this mod for LE2

The casual outfits for some squadmates in the 2nd game are optional, such as Jack wearing a prison uniform on the ship which I personally would not put her in because she's too chaotic to keep that sort of thing on.

The woman was gonna be walking around topless for the 2nd game until EA told Bioware "no" ffs.

9: Cerberus Ladies Wear Cerberus

Bioware never patched the 2nd game so that the Cerberus women actually wear Cerberus uniforms. This fixes that.

10: LE3 Opening Remaster

in the modder's words:

"LE3 Opening Remaster aims to improve the opening cinematic of Mass Effect 3, using remastered footage from an early ME3 Xbox 360 demo, as well as diversifies the opening text scroll if the Arrival DLC was completed."

11: Apartment Additions

In the 2nd game you could invite Shepard's SO to her cabin to hang out. Someone made a similar mod for the 3rd game 👀

12: LE3 Prologue Outfit Customization

The third game's prologue is weird if you have a specific casual outfit you like to put Shepard in (it's the hoodie... we all know it's the hoodie) and she doesn't wear it.

This mod let's you decide which outfit she should be wearing in the opening to better match how you've been dressing her in the 2nd game.

13: Garrus with No Visor and New Outfits (LE2)

Gives Garrus some more outfits he can wear rather than just his green one and optionally removes his visor when he's wearing his casuals (or always if you just dislike the visor).

The visor is lore important so I keep it on him most of the time... but I have it removed for when he's wearing his casuals because it's just kind of awkward for him to have it when he and Shepard start sleeping together.

Also he just looks better in blue than green ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Mods I couldn't install because I had already installed textures :(

LE1 and LE3 Diversification mods.

"A project designed to diversify LE1 through increased population count, better species' population balancing, outfit/appearance diversification and overall breathing more life into the world."

This includes adding female turian NPCs to the first game (they were only given a model in the 3rd game because something something video games) As well as giving the Elcor their walking animation.

The Diversification project is busy being worked on for the 2nd game as well but for now is only applicable to Omega.

I'm only linking to the first game's mod but you can find the third game's from the same creator.

Please note; Diversification mod and Variety are mod are TWO DIFFERENT MODS and may cause clashes if you install both.

I want this mod so bad..... I might risk breaking my game just to add it I swear sldjfsdklfjksd

And that's everything I use!

Before anyone asks, I don't have the "ALOT of textures" mod installed despite it being really good for no other reason than it replaces the signs into english text and that just bothers me for some reason. Especially since the most common spoken language by all species is "Trade". So having signs in english just doesn't make sense to me.

Shepard is an Alliance marine. She would know how to read Trade.

There is also a mod to improve lighting to an insane degree but I haven't messed with it because it requires a seperate program to introduce modern lighting engines to older games and I am too intimidated by it to try it.

Anyway I hope this helps!

[gamerkats]

Ok. I'm new to this....so be kind Mass Effect fandom. Help me here, because I'm completely confused. Uh, why did Ashley/Kaidan have to die? How was there not enough time for a rescue? There was apparently more than enough time to make a slow, dramatic fly over their position. It didn't look like there was that many baddies left. And the planet didn't explode, so why did we fly to space instead of say flying parallel to another county? I feel like we had more than enough time to get that scripted loss of a crewmember if we would have flown down the street away from the blast, instead of breaking the atmosphere.

There wasn't even a scene of Shepard being like, "No! Go back! We can get them! I won't leave anyone behind!" And Joker saying, "There's not enough time!" And Shepard screaming, "Don't tell me the odds! I'll go back myself!" And Garrus knocking Shepard out and looking at Joker and giving a dark, brooding sharp nod. And Joker flies upward to get away, because he didn't think about flying to another city instead, as we hear over the comms Ashley/Kaidan say, "Look, I don't know if you can hear this, but *garbled static for no reason* you better not hang a fucking plaque with my name on it on the wall, like one of those ghosts who never leave. Got it? I won't be some sad assed memory. You wanna remember me? You write my damn name on a bullet and fire my memory straight into Saren's chest. Oh, and Joker, don't you dare look back...." Kaboom! Single tear down Joker's face, small lip tremble as he keeps his eyes forward and not on the aft screen.

Yeah, none of that happened. Just flew away like I accidentally left my friend at the store. What did happen was a whole lot of nothing followed by my confusion of how we didn't have time, didn't have a dramatic send off, and moved on really fast in the story like the Muppet song was playing. So. Yeah. It felt forced and pointless. I'm confused. Disheartened. Annoyed. And dissatisfied as I keep moving right along in search of good times and good news....

[lovelywingsart]

Did I make my own Shepard to throw at Saren despite not having played the game yet? Yes.

Did I make it so he was also revived by Cerberus to let them have some more common ground? Also yes.

Did I end up reading the comics for Mass Effect Evolution and the story I had for them for fun suddenly made a genuinely horrifying amount of sense? Abso-fucking-lutely.

Anyway, this is Cam. uwu I don't have a colored ref atm, mostly because of Art fight and I haven't had much time otherwise. They're transmasc and they're in a trio with Garrus and Saren. It's like an 'Enemies to lovers' thing with them and Saren but also like... also kinda a 'I hate everyone but you' thing as well...?? They bonded over the whole Cerberus thing as well as the Paragon end of ME1.

Anyway I already have alot for them, but have a bit of general stuff-

> Cambrey 'Cam' Shepard

> They/Them (eventually he/they)

> 5'5" (165.1cm)

> Earthborn War Hero; Soldier

> Transmasc, but doesn't figure it out fully until after their revival in ME2; doesn't change name, feels like it's unisex enough and goes by 'Cam' anyway- suffers through the whole she/her thing for a while because it's easier

> Tali, James, Liara and Legion are their best friends, Garrus and Saren are their partners

> Found Saren during ME2, the last 'team' member found- He was also revived by Cerberus, and despite better judgement everyone elses concerns, decided to let him join them instead of killing him again. He ends up being a valuable asset against Cerberus.

> Fuck canon (until we see what ME5 has to say), they were found and hospitalized/put in a medically induced coma after the events of 3 before being reunited with their Turians some time later- Garrus found out first but waited to tell Saren until Cam was conscious and well enough to stand as to not distress the guy more than he already was over the whole thing

> Struggled and was genuinely torn between Garrus or Saren- absolutely adores and loves Garrus given everything they've been through and is extremely comfortable with him, but also has a somewhat unsaid 'bond' with Saren due to their connection with Cerberus and eventually being comfortable enough to relax around him and vice versa; ends up talking to Garrus and spilling everything, and chooses both. Garrus wasn't too happy about sharing but came around to the idea once he realized he didn't actually have to interact with Saren much at all (still has a small grudge but is able to work with him)

> Garrus and Saren were the first to find out about the Trans thing, Garrus having caught them attempting to bind (and then helping; he was confused but supportive) and Saren after a usual round of banter that ended with a full freakout towards him and him being genuinely concerned (As well as discovering he wasn't a fan of them being that upset; he also doesn't fully understand but respects it enough and will get aggressive with anyone else who comments on it). Thane and Samara were also able to figure it out pretty easily, and everyone else was told slowly but surely.

> Relationship with the boys <

- Definitely went hella hard with Garrus for obvious reasons, but later kicked themself and probably screamed into a pillow over it because Shep what the fuck

- Had a small draw towards Saren once they were up close the chokehold didn't help, though definitely doesn't regret punching him in the face. In fact, they wish they could have done it at least 5 more times- or so they say.

- Loves Garrus to bits, but there's a love/hate thing with Saren- thinks he's a jackass, completely and totally, and is the biggest brat with him, whereas they're more likely to be chill and calm with Garrus while also playfully challenging him just a little

- Will straight up be a dick to Saren when he starts his shite, and will absolutely call him an asshole to his face; Garrus doesn't exactly encourage it but he will sit and listen. Probably with popcorn.

- The whole thing with Saren honestly probably started a bit before Garrus, given they were similar in the fact that Cerberus brought them both back- him more immediately than them- and they helped get him tf out, but Garrus is the one who they eased up with quicker.

[phantomsthought]

I introduce to you: Shepard having conversations in the most inappropriate times

Shepard: hey Garrus look, another reaper- wow they’re everywhere

Garrus: crazy

Shepard: imagine if we could’ve prepared for this before the invasion happened, maybe an alliance commander, the one who’s captain of the Normandy

Garrus: if only. Now because no one warned us we’re stuck fighting big, dumb robots

Kaiden: are you not taking this war seriously

Shepard, ignoring him: this just sucks I just wish we could’ve prepared if only the first human spectre could’ve said something to prevent this

Kaiden: guys we could die fighting this thing

Reaper, laser powering up:

Shepard: oh no look it’s deadly if only we listened to-

———————-

Shepard doing everyone’s ridiculous chores and random ass missions she could swear that were picked by a spinning wheel: I don’t get paid enough for this.

Garrus: you get paid?

Shepard: I don’t get paid at all, actually

Garrus: you should’ve joined me on omega, I made some cash while taking those guys out

Shepard: sucks that I was dead during that

Grunt, having the time of his life, doing who knows what: HEHEHE

—————-

Grunt charging into a herd of enemies:

Garrus: Shepard come get your son.

Shepard, dealing with her own group: what’d he do

Garrus: He’s taking on everybody by himself, he’s gonna hurt himself

Shepard, looking at grunt head butting, and ramming into everything: GOOD JOB GRUNT

Grunt, not hearing her: I AM KROGAN

Garrus: I’m glad he knows that

Shepard: he’s my little tank baby <3

Garrus: little?

Shepard: go away rocket face

————————-

Shepard: why is it called an oven, if you ov in cold food and ov out hot food

Garrus:

Liara:

Garrus: Shepard what the fuck

Liara: can we pay attention to the husks charging at us instead of kitchen appliances

Shepard: THIS IS IMPORTANT

garrus: HOW DO YOU OV OUT?

Shepard: HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THIS-

The rest of the mission was Shepard describing “oving in food” and “oving out food” which made Garrus even more confused and Liara wonder why she rejoined the Normandy

———

[that-wildwolf]

Untitled document

I know you.

I bet this is something really weird or really interesting.

...It's angst.

Of course it's angst.

It's just. angst.

"You're lying." She wrinkles her nose and turns away from him a tiny bit.

"I'm really not." Silence follows; Garrus clicks his mandibles. She doesn't react, so he just looks down. "Shepard, I don't understand. Is something wrong?"

"Yeah, don't act like you're all perfect," she growls.

He watches her, silently at first. Then he slowly walks over to the table and pulls up a chair. Instead of sitting down, he just leans against it. Shepard wrinkles her nose. For some reason, him leaning on that chair without actually using it the way it's fucking meant to be used is infuriating her beyond reason.

“What?” is all he utters, tired and confused as his talons drum against the chair’s armrest.

"I know you have to hate me right now, so why not end this little charade?” Shepard narrows her brows. “I'm fine with honesty right now, Garrus. Let's talk. Let's be honest."

"Alright." He finally sits down on the damn chair. "Let's be honest, then. I… don't know what you're talking about right now, but I definitely don't hate you." His eyes shift to the sides, he doesn't meet her gaze. His muscles tense visibly even under his shirt, his mandibles are pulled close to his cheeks, and his goddamn eyes dart all over the place. The textbook image of an uncomfortable turian. "You know I don't hate you."

Shepard isn't convinced. For some reason, that just angers her further.

"You're better than this," she growls. "If you're just going to act like a damn punching bag, then I—" She draws a blank, realises she has no idea what to say now. "Maybe I don't know you at all."

"You don't mean that." If he's emotionally affected, he keeps it well hidden.

[myaoiboy]

Rating All The Metal Gears By Hotness

No, not the characters. Yes, literally the Metal Gears. If I forgot any, let me know.

Metal Gear TX-55 - 4/10

This is just a lil guy. A friend, even. Reminiscent of a gonk droid from Star Wars. Sucks that he was made to do murdering. I can see where someone would find appeal, but not really for me.

Metal Gear D - 6/10

This one I can see. He got some depth to him. Kinda shiny. More smooth, less boxy. Kind of insectoid. In most franchises this would be like an 8, but it gets knocked down because of what comes later being so much sexier.

Also can I say that MG2's spriting? Mwah. Chef's kiss. So pretty. Didn't even read the intro the first time I started it up bc I was marveling at the pretty spritework. I fucking love good spritework, just find it so much more satisfying than equivalent-quality 3D art.

Metal Gear G - 2/10

Never actually completed or seen in game. Was supposed to be a smaller, mass produced version of D. Kinda sexy, loses points for being so fictional that it's only theoretical even in the games.

Metal Gear REX - 7/10

OOOO YEAH, NOW WE'RE TALKIN'!! SHINKAWA ERA BAYBEY!!! Man's got impeccable taste. He could make a literal slab of titanium look inviting.

Rex is not the sexiest Metal Gear to me, partly bc Otacon treats it like a son or a pet dog and I find a 25-yo's son-analogue to be offputting. BUT. I must concede. REX is the blueprint for all the sexy traits to come. He's got the hips. He's got the saunter. He's just a lil too brutalist for me.

Metal Gear RAY - 11/10

I know I have psychological problems because this thing's childbearing hips and murderous mandibles distract me during the boss fight.

Why is it so sexy?? What the fuck?? It's like mecha furrybait but specifically for people who are into garrus mass effect. Please tell me I'm not the only one, I'm pretty sure my boyfriend thinks I'm insane.

Arsenal Gear - 4/10

Basically just an aircraft carrier. I would say not fuckable but it DOES, canonically, have a digestive tract and asshole so like. Technically fuckable I think. But at what cost?

Honorable mention for making me deal with Raiden's daddy issues and fight the sexy mech in this thing's enormous rectum (damn near killed 'em).

Shagohod - 4/10

Not technically a metal gear. I can see the appeal, but it doesn't *quite* nail the drider-esque niche for me. It does get a bonus point for the way it moves being kinda sensual tho. Additional bonus point for being piloted by an evil fa-

Intercontinental Ballistic Metal Gear - 0/10

literally could not even find an image of this that wasn't completely dwarfed by the Saturn V rocket attached to it. Not really much to look at. If you've always wanted to fuck a Saturn V, I guess this would be a good way to get introduced.

Metal Gear RAXA - 2/10

Somehow managed to capture "first day of kindergarten" energy in a death machine. I could be convinced based on its behavior tho. Damn, Portable Ops kind of an L design-wise, huh?

Gekkos - 9.5/10

WHY DOES IT HAVE SQUISHABLE THIGHS?? SIR???

And the feet. Like, we gotta talk about the feet. Why? Why the toes? Why does it stomp on me with its weirdly well-defined toes??? Did they make this mech specifically to appeal to dinosaur foot fetishists? Why does it bleed? Why does it MOO???

Extremely fuckable to the point that it loses half a point purely because it *feels* like horny bait.

Dwarf Gekkos - 7.5/10

This is an object that feels like it was designed by and for lesbians. I have no notes. Slightly offputting only due to the odd number of hands but it IS the perfect number for some activities, so honestly that may be a plus.

Metal Gear Mk II/III - 1/10

Adorable. Not fuckable. This is a gopro with a personality. Not to be confused with the vampiric gopro with a personality from Ultrakill, V1. Literally just a baby.

Outer Haven - 5.5/10

Only technically a Metal Gear by virtue of technically being a stolen Arsenal Gear which is technically a Metal Gear. Gains .25 each for being the site of the infamous russian tuant

and whatever fucked up display of devoted homosexuality this is:

also additional bonus point for being piloted by an evil fa-

Pupa - 3/10

This is just the Shagohod but with an AI pod. -1 for being touched by Huey, but balanced out by the +1 from being made by Strangelove. Even if it IS creepy that she made her dead crush/girlfriend's psyche pilot it around.

Crysalis - 6/10

Not super sexy but it does fly and has a rail gun where one could feasibly conceptualize a dick. Kinda MILF-like (has mini-drones). Has a grappling hook, so could do bondage. Probably would, ngl.

Cocoon - 1/10

Pupa, but less sexy. I barely even remember this boss fight because the game became such a rush right around here, pushing you to the postgame/first ending.

Peace Walker - 7/10

Weird dog, functioning by sheer lesbian willpower. She is beauty, she is grace, she would probably rate a lot higher if my emulator didn't suck ass and make me angry every time I see her now, fuck that bitch.

Rage aside, who doesn't love killing their momgirlfriend and then reliving that multiple times throughout the course of a single game, culminating in her just straight up pulling a Virginia Woolf.

Metal Gear Zeke - 6/10

Really just nothing that special. Okay, wait, +2 for being piloted by an evil little girl in her panties for some fucking reason.

Also +1 for the sick ass boss fight.

Walker Gear(s) - 8/10

HERE we go!!! Hell Yeah Babey!!! Basically human sized! Has lil Fuckin' Roller Skates!!! Carries My Ammo! My Best Friend! (Okay, third best friend, after Quiet and DD)

Yeah Huey developed it but it gets WAY more bonus points for letting me manhandle him.

Sahelanthropus - 7/10

I can't deny the raw sex appeal of Sahelanthropus. Also, it's literally piloted by pubescent rage which is something I deeply resonate with ngl.

HOWEVER it DOES get docked points for uhhh

-getting strangelove killed

-making baby otacon a child soldier

-huey :/

Battle Gear - 0/10

Is there even a single frame of this entire thing? Especially without Huey??

negative 1 billion points for blue balling me in the late game, i want to ride this motherfucker right into the kgb outposts and let 'em have it for what they did to babygirl

[swaps55]

...Okay, the Garrus hug got me good, I had a real squee moment about it

That reunion's like, top 5 moments of the game for me and I am not disappointed in your take whatsoever

Damn straight, Sam, you tell that gunship to fuck off

(Can you tell I am enjoying Mezzo? If not, now you know. Mezzo good. Mezzo great. Words no work because it's late but maybe more coherent gush in the morning)

(Thank you for good Garrus hug)

Archangel taking his helmet off in 2010 remains to this day one of the most impactful, memorable gaming moments for me.

ME1 was my first real-time shooter game, and when ME2 came out and was so DIFFERENT from what I was used to, I struggled terribly to adapt. I was just like Sam - confused, frustrated, lost and utterly out of place from what I was used to. Garrus wasn't even a character I had really clicked with in ME1, but after that reveal he was forever my - and Shepard's - best friend.

But you actually have @sinvraal to thank for that hug. The draft I wrote rushed through that reunion, because I was hesitant to spend time on a scene that was more or less lifted straight out of the game. But she suggested I rethink that and linger on that moment so that Sam and the reader could both get the same catharsis I had while playing it so many years ago, so I did. And that's where the hug got added. <3

I'm REALLY HAPPY you're enjoying Mezzo. I'm putting everything I've got into it, and crossing my fingers it resonates with other people. Thank you, thank you for this message. <3

[chroniclesinlacuna]

23, 33, 43 and +1 from the fifty (more) shep questions if you’re taking em!

Ooooh thank you! I'm just gonna do Casey (colonist/sole survivor/Kaidan) for now -

23. What does Shepard think of Conrad Verner? How do they handle him? Casey is. Very confused by this man. But ultimately, finds him endearing, once he gets past the initial conspiracy theories. He's treated him kindly every time, and was honestly genuinely confused/hurt when Conrad accused him of being an ass.

33. Is Shepard free with affection, or more reserved?

ME1 & ME2 Casey doesn't really know what affection is, despite being a handsy bastard. If you asked him though, he genuinely wouldn't realize how it could be taken - he likes sparring, he likes balancing his friends, he likes physically directing people and if you point out he only does it with people he likes he'd be confused and possibly mildly offended. ME3 Casey still doesn't click, but he also turns it up to 100 as soon as he's given the green light from Kaidan. Liara, Tali and Steve get all the hugs. If you squint, his sparring with Vega is hugging too, occasionally. His hand is almost always on Garrus' back while they're calibrating together. It's a thing he'll never ping on for himself, but it's easy to recognize.

43. What was the clone’s fate? Do you think Shepard and their clone could coexist?

Clone's dead. Very, very dead. Casey shot him in the face and tossed him out the back of the ship. They don't talk about it. There's also no mirror in Casey's quarters so...take that as you will.

(This one I do know for June though - he would've tried. He would've tried so hard for coexistence. If they had met in literally any other circumstance, 100% they could've coexisted. In the context of the Citadel? ...might be a fun fic to figure out how that goes.)

+1. what, to your Shepard, is a good death

Oh Casey used to dream about this. Particularly after Mindoir and Akuze. He'd never admit to having a death wish, but uh. He has/had a particular 'fuck it' fighting style. Through most of ME1, he's kinda mad he made it through. But that wasn't really a 'good' death, and with space and time he's been able to admit that to himself at least. Now, post ME3, a good death is a quiet one - preferably on a beach somewhere. He still struggles sometimes with the adrenaline rush he gets in a fight that tells him "this is it, go big or lie down" when he's doing something particularly stupid, but it's getting better.

[lilmissnatcat24]

god i love shakarian (enjoy a snippet from next week's chapter)

Garrus shook his hands out. At least that pit in his stomach shrank, albeit only slightly. It spooked him how convincing of a liar Shepard could be. She was almost so good that Garrus couldn’t tell.

“It scares me how good you are at pretending to care about people.” He didn’t mean to say it outloud. But once he did he regretted it. Shepard took a step back so that she was completely backed up to the wall, her lips parted just enough so that he could see her teeth. Almost as quickly as she reacted, she masked up again, this time covering her emotions with anger. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she spat. 

“Nothing. I--” 

“No, you don’t get to say something like that and then not follow through. What did you mean by that?” she said, the color returning to her face beet red. 

But how could he say it? That he was afraid she was losing her humanity? That the Shepard he first started working with was willing to throw away her entire job to atone for the death of one of her informants? And now she was willing to kill Liara if she didn’t prove to be useful? He had always felt that she was the great equalizer to his impulses and urges. She was his checks and balances. But if those were gone, who was there to stop Garrus from doing the things that would keep him up at night? 

“Nevermind. Forget I said anything,” Garrus said quickly, choosing to focus on the little fruit flies that lived near the heaping trash bins. 

“No, you clearly have something on your mind. You know, you could just tell me what’s going on instead of dancing around the subject.” 

“Is that a joke?” Garrus asked, suddenly very angry very quickly. “Shepard, that is literally all you do.” 

“What’s wrong with you?” she asked, her voice shaking slightly. “I mean, as of lately. Because let me tell you, you’ve been acting fucking weird since yesterday.” 

“Don’t start--” 

“You just-- I don’t know! You leave yesterday, after that horrible ambush by Saren, and you do it without even thinking to check up on me, make sure that I didn’t turn into a human barbeque for the guy who apparently wants to eat my flesh after fucking it. And this morning, it’s like you can’t even stand to be in the same room as me? What gives? Is it because I told you I used to run in a gang? Is that it?” 

“Wait, what? Why would you--?” 

“Because that freaks people out. I know it does. Trust me, I couldn’t get within two fucking feet of someone in the Alliance without them thinking they needed to convert me to Jesus or Hackett or some shit. Was it because I was sandblasted at the gala? I know you noticed. I saw you glancing at my nose every few minutes to see if you could see any red powder left behind. Was it because I said I wished I left with Anderson yesterday? Because I wish I did, so I wouldn’t have to deal with this fucking pit in my stomach all the time that you’re only in this situation because I decided to drag you down here with me!” Her words came out faster and faster the more that she talked. As exhausted as Garrus felt, as confusing as his feelings were for Shepard, he realized in that moment that she was feeling all of those same things, too. 

[holedaemon]

Ass Respect 1

Last night @freakpatrol and I finished our Mass Effect 1 playthrough together. It was my first time playing, their millionth, and it was an Experience. I won't lie, I wasn't super invested in it until we got to Noveria, but once we did it kinda hit me. Let me explain.

Mass Effect 1 is a nightmare of a game. It's poorly designed, frustrating and definitely a product of the era. I think the biggest issue is accessibility. If Ari weren't there to guide me, I would have been so lost going through it and probably would have given up. Menus are confusing and there's virtually no explanation of anything. I literally did not mod any of my weapons or armor till the last stretch of the game just purely because going thru the menus sucked. Another lacking aspect were the side missions. In theory they were cool, but in practice it was a lot of

go to sparsely populated planet

find random building, go inside

oh the building is 1 of 3 different prefabs

kill enemies inside building

complete objective

go home

It was a slog. But if you didn't do them, then you're missing out on so much story, and it can affect your playthroughs of the subsequent games, so they were important. Realistically, this is excusable, the thing that really killed me was traversing the FUCKING PLANETS. THE MAKO IS A GENUINE PIECE OF SHIT. DRIVING THAT THING IS LIKE RIDING A HORSE WITH A DEGENERATIVE DISEASE. IT WAS TERRIBLE. WHAT MADE IT WORSE WERE THE PLANETS THEMSELVES. WHOEVER AT BIOWARE DECIDED THAT EVERY PLANET WAS GOING TO BE FULL OF MOUNTAINS THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO SCALE IS MY ENEMY FOREVER. I WILL KILL THEM. Night before last we spent hours just doing side missions, and I guarantee a huge chunk of that time was spent trying to get to different objectives on each planet. Both of us were fucking furious by the end of it, I haven't been that pissed off at a game in YEARS. At one point I just gave up doing the optional stuff on the planets, like collecting minerals, etc.

BUT, for every bad thing about Mass Effect 1, the story, worldbuilding, and impact of decisions make up for it. The lore behind Mass Effect is so rich and expansive, it puts every other game to shame. I can't think of any other series that is so in depth about its races, characters, or universe. You've got the humans, who are just making their way into space & asserting themselves among the universe; the Turians: a militaristic avian-like race that mostly police the galaxy; Salarians: nerdy, feeble science types with short lifespans; KROGAN!!!! Badass fucking warrior race that are dwindling in numbers after being genetically sterilized & systematically purged after a burst in numbers; Quarians: AWESOME LOOKING tech-inclined nomads that travel the galaxy after being pushed out of their home system by their own creations; Geth: sentient machines created by the Quarians that evolved & rebelled against their makers; Asari: cool blue ladies; Batarians: a cool race that are unfortunately mostly only depicted as slavers & terrorists, not really seen in the game at all; Protheans: an ancient race with a technologically advanced society, that were mysteriously wiped out 50,000 years ago with barely a trace, whose technology we allegedly based our own on; Reapers: inorganic, sentient machines, and the true antagonists of the series, that reside in the void beyond the universe, waiting for their chance to return and purge the universe of all organic life; Volus, Hanar, Rachni, Elcor. ALL OF THESE COOL RACES WITH THEIR OWN QUIRKS AND MYTHOS THAT MAKE UP THIS RICH AND EXPANSIVE UNIVERSE. This is what the Elder Scrolls should have been, there's actual substance here.

Really hammering in the races making up the universe are the characters, especially the core team. My favorite members of the crew were Garrus and Wrex, I love them dearly and would protect them with my life. I chose them as my squad mates for every mission, partly because I love them, but mostly because they hate each other. Both are stoic hotheads set in their ways. Garrus is a Turian; former c-sec agent that wants out of the bureaucratic life. He's a little unsure of his path which I sympathize with. If you're nice to him, which you should be, he's a valuable ally. Wrex is a Krogan mercenary that you pick up on the citadel. He's had a tough life and likes to work alone, but you can eventually earn his trust and have him come to respect you. The part of Wrex's story that really stood out to me is when you make the choice to kill him or save him. You learn that Saren allegedly has a cure for the Genophage (the aforementioned genetic sterilization of the Krogan people) and is breeding an army of Krogan. You unfortunately have to put a stop to this. Wrex is rightfully pissed, and you can either calm him down or appease everyone else & kill him. I obviously made the choice to calm him down and save his life. I want to see him flourish. There's obviously more characters than that in the core team. For instance, Liara, the young Asari scientist that studies the Protheans and helps you gain insight on the galaxy's precursors. Who you can fuck. I fucked her. There's Tali, a Quarian on her Pilgrimage that joins your crew and helps on the ship. Kaidan and Ashley, the humans, who I didn't really give a fuck about. Ashley is a racist bitch and I absolutely let her die. Outside of your crew, there's Ambassador Udina, who sucks major ass and I hate. Captain Anderson, who punched Udina and generally rocks, I gave him the seat on the council at the end of the game. The council is another important aspect of the bureaucratic bullshit of the galaxy. I hung up on them a lot, but begrudgingly saved them at the end of the game so humans could continue to prosper and hopefully gain more respect throughout the galaxy. Saren, the "antagonist" of the game who was really nothing more than a pawn for the reapers. He was cool, and it sucks that he had to die the way he did. The point is, the characters are the lifeblood of this game and really stood out. Each having their own personality & story gave even more depth to the universe.

The last vital aspect of the game is you, and the chooses you can make. I'm a lil bitch so I went primarily paragon with my choices. I was mean when I wanted to be but mostly favorable to everyone I met. The coolest part is that this can change the later games. You can take your character with you into the 2nd and 3rd games and your choices in the previous adventures shape how the subsequent games are played. I think that's really unique, even by today's standards, and I'm really excited to see how it plays out in the later games. Especially for characters like Wrex. That's why we did the side missions, because the people you meet on the side can pop back up in 2 & 3. It's a really cool system that I wish more games worked with.

All in all, cool game, awesome experience. A nightmare in accessibility & game play, but makes up for it with the story, choice making, characters, and lore. After we finished, we immediately started 2 and I'm already loving it so much more. The world has been expanded upon, the accessibility is better, the game play is more streamlined, it's a better experience thus far and I'm excited to talk more about it when I finish it. Big thanks to my partner Ari (@freakpatrol) for introducing me to the series, playing with me & guiding me through it. It's really nice to play a story-based singleplayer game again after years of not. Okay that's my review rant. Thanks, bye.