#gammanigans

[gammatreis]

To the people who followed this account for Star Wars and have no desire for any Naruto-related content.

Buckle up.

[mrgammakay]

Remember when memes used to be questionnaires instead of gifs??? I AM ANCIENTTTTTT. @imindhowwelayinjune​ has placed a curse upon my house and now I’m honor-bound to dispel it.

Last song: Burn by 2WEI & Edda Hayes

Last show: The English was the last show I watched all the way through. I’m here for a good western and gotta use that accidental Amazon Prime 30 day free trial while it’s there.

Last Movie: I honestly can’t remember. Last time I was on a plane with in-flight entertainment, I watched Jurassic World: Dominion. It was terrible. But, hey, there were dinosaurs eating people.

Currently watching: I’m making my way through Rise of Empires: Ottoman Season 2. Work is holding me back but I WILL watch ancient political corruption, thanks. If all documentaries were shot like historical dramas, they would be my dragon hoard and I’d roll in a pile of them like a cat in catnip.

Currently reading: I’ve been trying to finish Women of Troy for over a month now, but I got distracted by a strong desire for magic ninja content. I also have A River Enchanted and Babel queued up in the reading roster.

Current obsession: I will never be able to escape my preoccupation with Uchihas. At this point, they’ve haunted me for over two decades and will haunt me for decades to come. I’ve been rereading the manga since Christmas. My DnD group has listened to 45 minutes of dissertations on power scaling problems in Naruto canon. Kishimoto continues to drag me to emotional narrative peaks joined together, not by sensible plot arcs or logical character motivations, but decimated, wasteland valleys of absolute plot fuckery.

Anyway. Sasuke’s a bitch, Itachi’s a god, and Shisui is a pure tragedy. I’ll be in this hell for the rest of my life.

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Five books I’ve enjoyed since September

Okay, I basically didn’t read in October or November but I sprinted through about 10 books in December to try to reach my reading goal for the year (unsuccessful).

She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan. New favorite book of all time. It’s got all my kinks: war, ancient history, swords, horses, deep-seated loathing (self and otherwise), vague mythological magic systems, khans. Never in my life have I connected with a character in a more visceral, unwanted way. My existential crisis was full-blown. I didn’t want to identify with a eunuch on a profound level, but here we are.

Greywaren by Maggie Steifvater. I reread the whole series before going into the final book, so I can’t remember if Greywaren was my favorite. But I’ve never read a magical world similar to the nonsense that goes on in the Dreamer Trilogy. It’s real good. Ronan is also a peak character. Aggressive goth Gryffindor farmboy representation matters.

Rogues: True Stories of Grifters, Killers, Rebels and Crooks by Patrick Radden Keefe. Like true crime but don’t like gory details? I don’t understand you, but this is the book you’re looking for.

Furysong by Rosaria Munda. I found the character arc resolutions a little unsatisfying in the end but overall, this is probably my top young adult fantasy series. Dragons. There’s so many dragons.

I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy. What a ride. I saw a lot of her interviews about this book before I read it, so I knew exactly what I was getting into. It’s powerful for someone to talk about their bullshit in a way that doesn’t sugar coat it. 

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Last line written

I wrote almost nothing this year, but somehow this question caught me when I’ve just started working on a project again. The rust on this keyboard has been corroding since 2020.

“Still alive?” He asks. Irunae looks remarkably better than Énkava feels. He’s sitting up, for one. “So you’re not completely useless, then.”

[gammatreis]

Where are you? What happened?

I. Uh?

You mean like physically? Recently? Emotionally? Have I wandered astray on the great journey of the mortal plane?

Is there a deeper context in this ask...

Or like. Why haven't I posted any darth butts in recent memory?

[gammatreis]

hey, do you allow use of your art as icons/headers with credit?

Hey, my dude!

It’s been a long time since I’ve been active on here but I still 100% support icons and headers of my art as long as there’s credit.

Send me a link I like to see what people make!

(also thank you for asking you’re doing good anon work)

[gammatreis]

Seventeen mcu movies deep

Thor the Dark World still the worst

Am I supposed to feel things in this movie? Because the best part is Loki making fun of Captain America and having his mini prison meltdown.

[mrgammakay]

I’m trapped in Naruto hell with too many Uchihas and I’ll never be able to dig my way out.

Shoutout to the 50 Itachi posts coming your way in 2 months when my queue catches up.

[gammatreis]

Okay guys. It’s been a long time since I liveblogged some shit right?

I think the kids go on discord for this shit these days but whatever we’re living life on the square edge now.

Sometimes my job requires lots of work but little brain power and in these moments...I can consume a lot of background video content.

So I’m five days and sixteen movies deep on an mcu rewatch

and I think Thor: The Dark World might be the literal worst of them. I mean I’m not done yet but I’m hooked on this feeling

They have Natalie Portman.

Black-eyed, fantasy be-robed Natalie fucking Portman

And they turn her into a literal trophy and make her asleep 75% of the time

what the fuck

HALF THIS FUCKING MOVIE IS PLOT EXPOSITION LET ME DIE

[gammatreis]

When your friends spend the evening arguing if you’re Sasuke or Itachi because you think of Kakashi as a shitty father figure...

you know you’ve gone wrong somewhere in your life

[gammatreis]

All I can say is thank you for the Maul content my best friend and I lurk in your blog during drunken star wars marathons to see our husband

This is the best use of my art I could possibly hope for.

Drunk anon I WILL LOVE YOU ALWAYS.

[gammatreis]

Maul for the ask game, 10, 12, 14

10. What unintended prop/pet/individual is visible in the background?

Sweet jesus I have an answer but it is 100% an intended prop.

Innocent passersby, ie. Lord Dooku. Definitely half the guards from that time he was stuck in Mandalorian prison.

Black market swag. Battle carnage. You know just the casual dead body here and there.

12. What’s their response to receiving one unsolicited from their partner? from someone NOT their partner?

I’ve decided that “partner” means that time he was under the same command as Grievous. Which is just–Grievous without a cape is. Pretty much the same as Grievous with a cape. 

Or is a Grievous dick pic when he has five billion limbs in spider mode?? Is one of the arms holding a vibrator? Are the others still holding light sabers???

This is kinkier than I thought.

Who IN THE GALAXY would have the LITERAL BALLS to send Darth Maul and unsolicited dick pic?

OBIWAN

Now we know what started their rivalry.

(it was meant for Yoda)

14. Is it always a selfie or has it ever been taken by a third party?

You know those probe droids that he has? 

…yeah.

[gammatreis]

i forgot why i followed you until i saw darth maul mentioned and i wanna let you know i keep a picture of darth maul in my wallet and it made me friends with a gamestop employee

I LOVE THIS.

I am full on imagining you cornering this person and pulling out an endless foldout of pictures of Maul. The Maes Hughes of bruised space tomatoes. FUCK.

That gamestop employee, keep them close.

That’s beautiful but what’s also beautiful is all my bullshit content popping up on your dash all the time without you knowing why it’s there. LIKE. I ALSO TRULY TRULY LOVE THAT.

[gammatreis]

i really wish i could do a commission of maul in a flower crown but i sadly have no money

This would be the greatest commission

Maul would hate it CAN YOU IMAGINE

Hate. It.

He would be like a cat in a harness. Full of rage and unable to move.

[mrgammakay]

Okay the best lowkey thing about Naruto

is the water walking

they can be in the middle of a fucking lake and just crawl up out of that water like they’re the dead girl from the ring coming out of a fucking tv

okay it’s– I just–it’s rad as fuck

look at this dumb motherfucker

God I wish that were me

[gammatreis]

So if you were around at this time last year

You’ll know I had a tragic affair with THE Darth Maul statue

god

he’s fucking beautiful

BUT I DIDN’T ORDER HIM

I preordered the second best, posable Maul statue that launched in October 2019

GUESS WHO  A R R I V E D

my bitch is here

[gammatreis]

Thank @jackquen for bringing this to my attention.

[gammatreis]

Roan14-17 and Maul 1-3 😛

Oh sweet baby jesus I have never thought of Roan sending a dick pic and honestly I’m not prepared for what’s about to happen here.

For those of you who don’t know, Roan’s my OC.

14. Is it always a selfie or has it ever been taken by a third party?

Once, drunk (absinthe that one time) on a dare in a VIP lounge room, he took a dick pic with five other people. The file got corrupted and never actually saw the light of day.

The ones he’s intended to be seen were only ever selfies. Roan? Actually trust someone else? With his naked body? 

never

15. What is their desired response to sending a pic?

They have to arrive at the least appropriate time for maximum level of unnecessary blushing. THAT FRIENDS IS THE NAME OF THE GAME.

He’s too demanding and direct to use a pic to try to get actual sex.

16. What would be the worst possible response they could get?

“This is the FBI agent monitoring your devices. We put this in your file.”

17. What is the most likely response for them to receive?

“Please. For the love of god. Tag these as nsfw.”

AND NOW ONTO THE MAULS

1. Does your character prefer natural light or a filter?

Neither. The only true dick pic is one taken by the glow of a red light saber.

2. Unprompted or only when solicited?

He’s definitely sent one as a form of torture (Savage) and probably only sent the rest by accident after he took too many nude selfies on his speeder, Bloodfin. 

They were tasteful. Aggressive. He didn’t think of them as nudes he just happened to be having one of his pantless moments that day.

3. Erect, flaccid or both?

DEFINITELY BOTH. He’s just naked apropos of nothing. Any picture of him is liable to be a dick pic.

You know

until it got cut off.