#gah its mine

[fiction-heals]

These mark the period I reconquered something important in myself. I’m proud of my journey, however tense, scary, chaotic it was.

And! Today 25-March-2024 it’s this blogs birthday! Say something about cycles and connections wow

Photos: 24-March-2024

[defiledtomb]

How did it go ? 👁👁

I FEEL ALIVE

[nerbos]

hellooo every-nyan

[coldresolve]

so anyway i commissioned @albino-whumpee to draw that one cigarette scene

[grahamcarmen]

Nothing making my eyes roll all the way back in my head more rn then " he doesn't deserve her but -" in reference to any type of relationship they could have [usually to the tune of him returning to being the " like a big brother" she used to think he was and completely ignoring the *everything*]

Its so off handedly dismissive of gray and by proxy carmen for caring about him I hate it

Do I understand hating the double down decisions? Sure. but like wow its almost like hes literally the one who got shot FOR her sake BY her after thinking he would be left with nothing but a [hey she made it]

and then people start pulling the *deserve card for a [ I GUESS they probably can acknowledge they give a shit about each other or smth as a lil bow, maybe continue the same old same ol']

Because Heaven forbid carmen actually have to fully go through a complex thought about a dynamic that wasn't as simple as her side or nothing at all when how it ended currently was her side and nothing [because wattya know he probably has feelings about this whole thing that aren't so simple and double forbid his feelings be allowed to be more complicated than gee wilikers im ready to be the brosef i guess you wanted me to be. 😒barf.]

CARMEN values his past kindness and she decides. This person is important to her. She wants him to be with her.

her reaction to him

* getting what he deserves* is to break down

[Which I guess side note: 🙄there ya go. what a VILE agent might "deserve" canonically all done.]

saying he doesn't deserve her caring???

Bro HE GOT ELECTROCUTED

AND the phrase is a mild stab at carmen at literally any point even when they're guarded [mildly still nostalgic] towards each other like in the pilot because SHE IS THERE BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO SEE IF HE COULD BE ON HER SIDE AGAIN, KNOWING! WHAT HE WAS CAPABLE OF.

She still thought he deserved* that much at least.

And she still has affection for him even when it looks like he's someone who doesn't *deserve* it

She wants to be allowed to care.

Like sometimes

Love&affection =/= only to those who deserve it

Like sometimes -

Its just something someone wants to give [and hey look its almost like he ends his current arc giving back to her as well] and the phrase "doesn't deserve but I guess -" just -

Just -

Youtube look straight into my eyes and explain why it occurs to you to think that that is what I love seeing on my browsing experience

[bangcakes]

.

[monstrsball]

it's thinking about iwaoisuga long distance and being kinda sad hours. they are playing on hard mode!! imagining them trying to navigate the timezones, it's such a headache but also worth it. they're staying up way too late or waking up earlier than they really need to, squeezing calls in between classes, etc...

[spica-starson]

everyday i think about this split-second tender moment from episode 20 and immediately Cry™️

[houliburns]

speaking of frank i need to write hawnk fic or ill actually die but i have no idea where to start

[yellowstriipes]

hate it when people dont wanna meet a story on its own terms and where it is.

[too-late-chomp]

[fiction-heals]

I have a bad habit.

I skim through books in tired moments, when I want to know the story but don’t have the brains to properly read it. I do go back to them all and reading them in my own pace, even if I already know bits or chunks of the plot. I spoil it for myself.

That’s that I did with Cytonic months ago, and what I just did to Defiant too. So, yeah, this contains spoilers. Be stronger than I am lol or not.

Or not because this came in such a good moment. It’s my 28th birthday today. It’s 1:44 AM, I have a glowing in the dark mushroom keychain I can see in my bedroom. For the first time in years I planned a party and I have friends I actually want to spend my time with. I was shocked and surprised and glad that they accepted — wow, I’m worthy being cared for?? About?. So I share the same realization and boasting feeling that this book brings or represents or stands for. I’m not alone. One does not withstand pain alone. One moves forward hand in hand with friends. And we stand together for each other. This is powerful.

It’s about connecting. Sharing. Welcoming. Comforting. The good and the bad moments. No matter your species. (We are all aliens, in a way, anyway. We feel the same, though.)

This represents how much I have grown in the past year, how far I’ve come, who I am becoming. It’s much farther than I envisioned, but pretty close to where I dreamed to be.

I gotta share this and see if my friends feel even a fraction of what I feel and make sure they know they are not alone either.

I’m just so happy and grateful ❣️ for them in my life. For myself. For my trust and fierce need of knowing and becoming.

So, a good habit. Be brave, y’all. It’s all in you.

You know, as the Saint says. Seeds already carry trees in them. Stars are already galaxies, or whatever.

Bless your stars ✨

(Come on, even the mushroom is a parallel lol i love it. Thanks for the laugh, M-Bot. Always.)

[cloudy-squid]

Yes I am back to listening to Orville Peck daily. Obviously I need to be emotionally destroyed by let me drown.

Wrecked by hexie mountain

Vibe with Daytona sand

Spin about while listening to take you back

Big sky? Adore it

Dead of night? Hits so good

Drive me, crazy? Aaaaaaaah

C'mon baby cry? Yes

Okay so yeah basically I love every album he's made and listen to all three near weekly

[narugen]

okay i’m back to yap. not even image limit can stop me.

after that mina and ebina visit hoshina in the hospital to reaffirm her request from before the attack happened and she unknowingly dispels his fear that it’s all just one big prank. she’s 100% serious and she 100% believes the skills he’s been constantly put down for will be useful to their team.

look at his shocked face dawg im gonna die we love u ashiro mina… the fact that he probably thought she forgot about it… because he never believed she was serious in the first place

he lays himself bare and tells them what he really thinks about himself and his swordsmanship (despite taking so much pride in it) and mina slaps him with the fact that she believes it’s possible for him to evolve just as kaiju have and with a team that encourages his unique skills, he’ll absolutely do much better than with a team that only knows to look down on him (she didn’t say this i’m just putting my ship goggles on but it’s true)

i just think the amount of faith and trust they have in each other could kill a man <- me. also the fact that he rose to vice-captain position even after all the years of being told he’s nothing more than a burden in other platoons . wow third division i love you

mina has faith that hoshina will successfully clear the path for her no matter what and he has faith that she’ll be there to take down any giant kaiju afterwards… GWUH!!!!!&3;&; i’m sorry okay it’s about the loyalty the devotion the trust..

(trust and faith in particular, because we know how mina feels about betrayal)

bonus hoshina for anybody who read until the end. little insect.

hoshina/ashiro agenda b-side edition!

i have so much to say about this but i’m so happy they went into further detail about this and hoshina’s thoughts prior to this moment… the fact that he genuinely thinks she’s playing a prank on him is so ouch

but then we get to the part where’s a sudden outbreak and we see how ashiro views him vs how he views himself because of being constantly put down by the people around him - even his own father, someone he desperately wants approval from. mina however, even before witnessing his skills on the field, already believes that he’ll be an asset just based on what she’s seen from joint trainings.

and mina probably knew the answer would be that he couldn’t take down the kaiju as he was, but she asked him anyway despite ebina’s orders on staying behind.

and her belief in him doesn’t go to waste because without his help and his skills, she wouldn’t have been able to kill of that kaiju. she was waiting on hoshina to ensure that child’s safety like he promised he would and she knew he would see it through

tumblr doesn’t let me post more images so i’ll just continue in a reblog 😒

[beiasluv]

christmas spirit’s | f1 grid

a/n: super rushed but enjoy 💀💀

ynfannss

liked by username, username and 76,727 others

ynfannss NOT CHARLES BEGGING FOR YN TO TAKE THAT PICTURE AS HIS SECRET SANTA PRESENT

view all 3,764 comments

username mans knew that she loves f1 dilfs and went with it

username I NEED to see Jenson reaction

username NO because Sebastian IS her mentor 😩

username I FEEL SO BAD FOR YN 😭

username RIGHT

username NOT WHEN SHE GAVE THE BEST GIFT AS WELL

username 😭😭

username BUT QUEEN WASNT FAZE AT ALL

username NO SHE LOVED THAT GIFT

username I wouldn’t be mad if I was gifted the three branches of government

carlossainz55

liked by yourinsta, landonorris and 524,626 others

carlossainz55 ¡feliz navidad! from the sainz’s 🎄

view all 101,261 comments

username carlos is in spain (without the s)

username NO MORE CHRISTMAS PARTY SAINZ😩😭

username NO MORE SMOOTH OPERATORR

username another one ticked off the list 😭😭😭

username ikr???

username YALL ACTIN LIKE THEY DONT HAVE PRIVATE JETS 👹

username FR THEY JUST HOP ON AND OFF LIKE ITS A FUCKING BUS

alex_albon

liked by landonorris, georgerussell63 and 361,155 others

alex_albon wishing everyone a very happy christmas from the albons!

view all 89,621 comments

username sad day to be an albon fan

username girl imagine being a logan stan

username you’re either american or american. either way, he is definitely back in florida

username ngl I’ll let him spend any day with lily. a win is a win

username get a fucking life yall it’s just a party

username ITS NOT “JUST A PARTY”

username it’s LIFE

charles_leclerc

liked by arthur_leclerc, yourinsta and 861,718 others

charles_leclerc family dinner from the leclerc ❤️🎄

view all 275,255 comments

username okay mr. host candidate, pack it up rn

username WHERE IS THE PARTY MISTA

username so no one is going to mention that yn goes on to like every single post 😭😭

username and lando.

username they plotting sumthinh

username tell me that bitch didn’t lie to us 👹

username that’s mean. do it again

yourinsta

liked by oscarpiastri, carlossainz55 and 861,517 others

yourinsta new player contract?? 🤭

view all 341,255 comments

carlossainz55 ankles still working?

landonorris at least I’m better than you

yourinsta she was a fairy 🤭🤭

username TIKTOK QUEENNN

username YN IS IN THE UK 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🦅🦅🦅

username GOD BLESS FHE QUEEN (Yn)

username LANDO???? EXCUSE ME WHO GAVE YOU THE PERMISSION

username so bf??? 🤭😭😭😭

username WHAT IS HAPPENING

username football girlie here but gah daium yn looks so fine 😩

username the crossover we never (kinda) expected 👹

username so…the party?

yourinsta

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 385,288 others

yourinsta happy holidays and making cookies!

view all 86,626 comments

landonorris where’s mine

yourinsta burnt 👹

username SAME RESIDENCE CONFIRMED

username switching sides

username maybe she’s not planning something after all 😔✊

yourinsta SAY SIKE RN 🤭

username WHATHDG

landonorris 4h

reply

yourinsta 2h

reply

landonorris 23m

reply

f1gossips

liked by username, username and 97,277 others

f1gossips photos of the F1 Christmas party parties last night were leaked. lando norris comfirmed as the party host and special guests of carlos sainz, nico hulkenburg, max verstappen, pierre gasly, kika gomes, yn ln, and charles leclerc himself. monte carlo confirmed.

- admin

view all 1,097 comments

username please tell me yn took that picture of Charles

username queen getting back for his present

username no she was a savage last night 😭

username Queen was roasting no one with hesitation

username AS SHE SHOULD

ngl guys, I actually finished the mark webber one first and then the poll shifted 👹👹👹👹

if you guys enjoyed it, any interaction would be appreciated. if not, then why the fuck not? 😘

today’s a great day to get out and take care of yourself 🫶

[trulyumai]

Landing a Blow

Pairing: Messmer the Impaler x Reader

Synopsis; The tarnished invaded his keep, Messmer on the brink of defeat, thinks of his wife.

But wait, isn't that her pushing towards him and the Elden Lord ?

Warnings: Blood, Fighting, Violence, Anger.

A/N: Wooo boy! enjoy :)

Read with my Messmer playlist ! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4Lv2RUNKH2voR45QP07ryd?si=WjtWV47iSiywnT7JhADyUg&pi=u-iz0Wfu53T36-

“Gah- Ah,” 

The tarnished, as if to mock the legend of flames, stood proudly above him; with his weapon pointed downward towards Messmer, ready for the final strike, once and for all sealing their prophecy of lordship. 

He followed the roads, the soldiers all the way to the darkened castle. And now, with the last standing relative of the grace; he could begin his reign. For only him could be Elden Lord.

“To fall- to such a- an indictment upon light; a curse to smother beneath mine own heel,” Messmer gritted out, blood falling off in rhythm off his temple and with teeth bared spat red at the man. His vision blurred, trying not to groan; he focused- the figure in front of him was too shaky for his liking, black dots entered his view.  

His opponent said nothing, with a calm but eerie facade, the tarnished raised his sword above Messmer. It shined against the rising fire cascading the surrounding walls. 

He couldn't believe it- to die by such indecent hands? 

Despicable, what would his family think, 

His followers,

His mother?

“O mother,” head tilted down, he could no longer hold the strong appearance, the pain numbed his senses.

His eyes burned, cuts lay waste to his body and his hands- were covered in blood and ash. 

The maroon stains were dry, flaking off with each nervous twitch of the man's limb and his nails scratched at his knuckles in shame. 

The silence of the room, it pissed him off to no end. For the tarnish to have such a stance- such ground before him, it boiled his blood, flamed his knuckles once more and made him bite down with such a pressure that made the bones in his teeth click and grind.

“Do it,” Messmer urged, red brows furrowed. 

“Or is thou such a coward, thy won’t serve me deliverance?” 

The blade began its descent, and Messmer couldn't physically shut his eyes. Memories upon memories graced his presence. 

And it all involved his wife; his beloved. 

Her laugh, the way she kissed him, smiled at him. 

She was so, so proud of him, even through all the bodies that lay wasted upon the fields; she stayed upon his altar. 

“I'm sorry, my love.” With those final words, his form could now relax and with a wobbling lip, smiled. The smell of Erdflowers and apples comforted his last moments as the blade grew closer. 

“Stop! Please!” 

A voice so delicate, so desperate drew the man from his displayed remorse. 

“Wife?” He all but whispered. It wasn’t possible. It couldn't be real. 

And yet there she stood, just beside the pushed open stone hinges- panting and wobbling toward the pair. 

“Stop, please, I beg of you!” Tripping over a fallen piece of debris she cried out. Messmer couldn't help but jolt towards her in response; only to be stopped by a blade to the neck. 

The girl's eyes widened, still laying on her chest adrenaline began to rush through her bones, shaky arms lifted her upper form yet her bottom half lay sprawled out. Too afraid of the sword running across her husband's skin, distance was kept between them. 

However, the flames held no patience; they burnt the wooden beams around the ceiling, every second that passed meant that more instability entered the chambers. Suddenly, a large pillar fell atop the girl, she screamed out from underneath it and Messmer shuddered. Racked with fear he pushed against the blade, looking- wanting to see if her form laid whole. 

It had. 

She stared back at his yellow iris with blood dripping down the middle of her forehead. 

The walls began to  crack under such heat, paintings lay melted upon the ground and more objects fell upon the vicinity with a startling bang. 

Her eyes, how they shined with such a deep remorse- a sadness that Messmer wished he could pluck out. His hands shook, just how was he supposed to protect his wife in such a state of disarray? 

The tarnished so called, “Lord,” did nothing but glance at the woman and her pitiful state.

He felt the need to cut- maim such a pathetic sort in his presence. So with a kick to Messmer’s chest, he acted upon such intrusive thoughts. 

The air plummeted out of the knight's throat, landing on his back he did nothing but cough out the ash that had landed in his windpipe. From the corner of his eye, he saw the movement and how the tarnished gripped onto his sword. 

“No,” with every fiber of his being he lifted his figure, it was hunched and bloodied, but it stood afoot. His eyes, crazed and desperate, looked towards his cowering wife. 

“Halt!” Ignoring the knight's pleas, the intruder quickened his pace. The girl tried to wiggle out from the object atop of her. It burned the back of her skin and she yelled out in fear. 

He had to act. 

Go. 

GO

GO!

“Mmph!” Finally free, his wife leaned back and tried crawling anywhere away from the approaching mongrel feasting upon her delicacy. 

But, it was too late. 

For the lord had gripped her hair and pulled back with all the might he could. Her feet scraped against the ground until she hung up like a rag doll, clinging desperately onto the man's dirtied glove. 

She cried out, tears littered pinkened cheeks as wails left her throat unconsciously.

With his back to Messmer he had to be quick. 

It would be clean; one slice. 

The blade struck against her throat, creating a line of blood that reached down to her ruined dress. 

For it would have been deeper, if nobody had slammed against his backside.

“Augh-” 

“How dare you,” 

Long fingers found their way against the tarnished neck. 

“Touch my wife, with your graceless, vile hands.”

Desperate for air the man kicked- wriggled under the tall flame. 

It wasn’t enough- for the knight was fueled with fire and anger; only to be snuffed out by the revenge he sought. 

His wife did nothing but push her back against the farthest corner, sobs racked her body and the tears flowed freely. 

She didn't hear the plethora of curses,

The kicking of the crazed lord,

Or the stillness that came after. 

Everything went quiet. Only smoke clouded her vision and it began assaulting her throat most viciously. Coughing she looked, she needed proof of her husband, she wouldn't leave without it. Blinking she tried to push past the itching of her face- ash fell atop it gracefully as her nails itched without care upon her features. 

“Mess-” a dry cough

“Mess-mer!” With such a scratchy tone, there was no way to hear her over the roaring of the flames. 

For once, she crumpled. Did nothing but lay wilted against the floorboards as grief seeped into her bones like a plague. 

Eyelids heavy, they sagged against the itchy smoke filled air. She couldn’t find the energy to leave the chambers. 

Finally allowing her lids to fall; she waited. For death to come and pluck her away, away from the smoke and bodies. 

Warm fingers touched her cheeks, the tips reached to her ears and her eyes jostled open. 

It was him, her darling husband covered in fresh blood, with blackened ash clinging onto his frame. His snakes not upon his form, only ripped pieces of armor littered with maroon stains.

Grunting the man pushed forward, with everything he had left he began to lift the withered girl. 

She tried to cry out in joy, cheer on her husband for such a monstrosity of a fight- but the tears ran thick. They wouldn't stop leaking out and falling atop her husband's hair and face. 

Bursting through the doors, Messmer leaned against the wall as he descended down the walkway. 

His wife whimpered out incessant worries, nabbing at his face as the man tried his best to find the way out of such a destroyed place. 

“Wife- Ah, please,” 

Her lips wobbled as the man continued his trek, never once did her eyes strain from his bloodied form. 

Her hands gripped onto his shoulders, his face, neck- anything she could touch- she did. 

Finally bursting through the last set of doors, Messmer collapsed, his knees skidded against the floor as he held his wife up against him. 

She crumpled with the knight, leaned right into his form with a tight embrace. 

“You- Are you hurt?” 

He felt her head shift back and forth. 

“Thou is- ah, sure?”

Another shift. 

His palms rested on her back, soothingly trying to comfort the sniveling woman. 

She jolted back, and Messmer would have been relieved to see her if not for the harsh slap that accompanied her features. 

“You fool!” She bellowed. 

“You- you ingrate, you nobody! You swore to be the strongest- to protect the order- 

“I swore to protect you, darling- stop this,” 

A single hand rose to capture her violent fists. 

“Thou is fine, the order is fine. That pretender? He lays in the flames of the past, my love- 

“Don’t  ‘my love me!’ You could have died Messmer, and what then? Am I just supposed to forget you-us?!” 

“Don't be foolish.” 

No longer interested in such a conversation the man leaned back, he groaned out in pain as his bones once more lit aflame with agony. 

His eyes were on hers, and with the other hand, captured her jaw. 

“Thou remains safe, that's all that matters.” 

She was too tired to argue- after such an event she was grateful to have her husband alive and well, but the fear had been replaced with anger. 

Remorse hit her like a bolt of lightning. 

“I'm sorry.” She whispered. 

“I thought you died.” 

He smiled lightly upon the girl- ever infatuated with the love she held for the man. 

“Mmm,” He hummed. “That’s alright, dear wife.” 

Without hesitation she leaned in, her bloodied forehead molded against his. 

He could do nothing but stare with half lidded eyes- fighting the sleep off with only her image. 

Noticing the blank expression upon him she laughed, it was rough and exhausted. 

“Sleep, my husband. I will watch over thee, hm?” 

Nothing more needed to be said, securing his head against the stone support behind him, sleep took over the lanky man. 

His wife sighed and with an adoring smile, kissed upon his stained lips.

It was her time to watch over and protect. 

Nothing would get between her and the knight snoring tiredly against her body.