#g: angst & smut

[bambieheeseunglee]

why do men try when lee heeseung exists !?

Lee Heeseung - 01 line!

[jensettermandu]

six feet under - yu jimin

genre; smut, angst, hurt/comfort

pairing; karina x g!p reader

content; despite the title there's no character death (it's just for metaphors) , unhealthy relationship; lack of communication , difficulty dealing with acceptance/reality , unintentionally hurting e/o , smut; p in v :D , unprotected sex , top karina/service bottom reader , oral (reader giving) , slight breast play , some praising

synopsis; it had always been said that nothing stays the same, it had been said ever since they were little kids and that acceptance of it was important. it helped move forward because dwelling in a past that no longer existed did no one any good. to hang onto something that didn’t exist meant falling to the deepest parts of hell willingly because no matter how much it hurt it felt like it was worth it the second they looked back at what it used to be.

wc; 15.6k+

masterlist.

It had always been said that nothing stays the same, it had been said ever since they were little kids and that acceptance of it was important. It helped move forward because dwelling in a past that no longer existed did no one any good. To hang onto something that didn’t exist meant falling to the deepest parts of hell willingly because no matter how much it hurt it felt like it was worth it the second they looked back at what it used to be. 

The silence could almost be dreading, it was so loud that it vibrated through their ribcage. It was so loud with their thoughts that they had no clue what to do. Love could be so many things, couldn’t it? It also meant that love got mistaken a lot of times too. It could make a bed feel comfortable, one they would always want to be at the end of every night, but it would always feel cold with spaces bigger than the ocean even if they were just an inch away. 

At times it felt like acknowledging the damage would only damage the rest of the world too if it was brought up. It was for everyone’s best and they could silently try to fix the damage with minimum casualties around them.

They both fell blind and only realised that they forgot to do something about it when they were dragged out of the daydreams and brought back to reality. The daydream that was the past was what made Y/n look away from her monitor once her eyes fell on the time at the bottom corner. She slipped the headphones off of her head, loose bangs falling over her forehead as they no longer were held back by the gear and she turned the chair around. Her eyes fell on the bed that was empty despite it being 0:30 AM. 

Routines changed, but they stayed. 

It had become a game of avoiding the other to not bring up the actual problems. Y/n indulged in her video games the whole day so they could avoid even looking at each other. She hadn’t spared Jimin a single glance but was now looking at the empty bed with sentiment filling her veins heavily. She deeply inhaled, trying to fill her lungs with oxygen to air out the sadness and hang on to the hope of stitching the torn back together. 

It was harder than it looked though when she had no clue how to put together a world that had been caught in a landslide and pulled them apart. It was all drifting apart, burning bridges they couldn’t stop imagining still existed. All they did was stand and look at it happening because there was nothing that they could do about these new feelings. 

She placed the headset onto the desk and reached over to the power button on the PC, her index finger coming in contact with it. Y/n pressed it and still deep in lamentful thoughts she held it for a while longer than needed before letting go. 

Just as she stood up the door opened and her tired eyes landed on Jimin whose gaze immediately was drawn to Y/n despite how far away they were. It was time to let go, but all that heaviness caused by the thoughts of finally mending their worlds and leaving the one they had built together in the past was hard to get rid of. There were so many reasons that told them to let go, but so many that told them to stay because of what once was their everything. 

“I just have to take a quick shower.” Jimin nodded at that as she stepped inside the room, leaving the door ajar as she knew what it meant. It was too cold to fall asleep beside each other on the bed, it was too uncertain of what they should do in the familiar sheets. It was easier to fall asleep alone, but it was difficult to sleep fully through the night if they weren’t both in bed at the same time. 

It had become a routine of leaving to let the other fall asleep before getting in bed too. The shower felt agonising, unsure if she had been in there long enough or if she should stay and continue to ponder. Everything around them still felt the same, but on the inside everything was different. Was it because of how suddenly it had happened? Was it because it was scary to let go of something that used to be all their comfort, scared that it was their only comfort after being it for so long? Was it because of how much they still had for each other? 

What if they got lost and became wanderers once they would let go of each other and would end up walking life without a goal to reach?

The shower felt like the only place where she could ponder now since it felt like it was too much to cry in front of each other. That would mean that they would have to talk about what was wrong and what they had to do, to do the things they weren’t ready for. The past felt so worth holding onto despite the feelings of the future never looking like they imagined. 

It was like every other time when Y/n walked back to the room, she quietly opened it, stepping inside the warmth and the comforting scent of Jimin that lingered in the air. Was it because all these things still brought her warmth and comfort? Her eyes landed on the bed that wasn’t empty this time, but would still feel cold once she settled in it. Never did they do it intentionally, but it had started happening at some point and there was nothing they could do to stop it. 

She couldn’t just not care, she always did and always would as she threw her black hoodie onto the backrest of the swivel chair she had been sitting in earlier. It merely made a sound when it landed on the chair and she walked a few small steps over to the edge of the bed where Jimin was lying. 

It had become a new routine to just stare at Jimin from a distance while trying to figure out what exactly was wrong between them. She had always adored the girl whether with words or just by looking at her from across a room, but this was different despite the adoration. This always made her eyes look a certain way, a way that whenever Jimin caught Y/n looking at her she could tell what she was thinking and Jimin found herself leaving to wipe away her tears. 

So Y/n was crouched down right by Jimin who was asleep on the bed, her head tilting as a small frown adorned her features in thought. The longer she thought the more it all felt like a pipe dream as her eyes lingered on the girl's soft features Y/n adored. The white duvet pulled up to her chin and the younger reached over to Jimin, gently grazing her fingers over the tender skin. Nothing about it had changed, it still felt as good as it always had under her fingertips. 

She pushed back some of the loose strands away from the sleeping girl’s face before she pulled her hand away fully, scared that she would wake her up, that Jimin would pull away from her touch, that they would both freeze and then go back to pretending. 

Y/n sighed at the feelings she couldn’t decipher anymore and her forehead rested on the edge of the bed for a few seconds as she closed her eyes tightly. Her fists clenched and so did her jaw to shut out everything, the landslide wiped away from her mind, the future too, the past stayed as she fished for the answers from the burning bridge. She was utterly confused, she was so lost in that field where everything had burned to the ground. 

Where did it all go? When did it all disappear?

She deeply inhaled and raised her head, shakily letting out her breath, doing it slowly to not wake Jimin up. Her fingers peeled at the cover, the small bear coming into view that Jimin was hugging–it was Y/n’s childhood plushie, but the comfort that it had held once had been transferred to Jimin. She had no clue if Jimin had transferred it further or if she still held onto it. It felt too cold at times, but they were still hanging on to the daydream.

“Goodnight, angel.” Her fists gripped onto the sheets as she left a ghost-like peck against Jimin’s soft cheek while standing up before climbing carefully over the girl to lie down by the wall. Y/n got under the duvet and laid on her back, staring at the ceiling that was empty while her head raced with thoughts that would make falling asleep so much harder. The itch to hold each other, but the fear of it not feeling the same anymore kept them at a distance and so the ache grew, but the silence didn’t dissipate. It was loud enough to mask the sounds of the heartbreak. 

Jimin heaved a sigh, her eyes opening in the silent room, knowing that Y/n was lying just behind her, but she wasn’t able to feel her. The simple peck, the brush of fingers against her skin, the goodnight, the innocent pet name; all made her eyes burn hot in the freezing weather that the room was in. It made her stiffen up her lower lip to try and keep them at bay, clutching the little bear harder, burying her nose into its brown fuzzy fur. 

Each time she blinked her eyes its fur soaked up the tears, being the only witness of them, the only thing wiping them for her, holding her sorrows inside its small frame. She was afraid that it would overfill soon enough, that the bear would turn salty and bitter from her tears, and that it wouldn’t want to give her any more comfort because of that. She longed, but they flew apart and she couldn’t figure out what exactly she longed for as Jimin felt just as lost and confused about everything as Y/n was. 

Was it all broken or just bent? She had no clue, Jimin didn’t even know what exactly it was that was wrong. Or maybe she knew just what was wrong, but pretended that she didn’t?

It echoed in Y/n’s head after the alarm had gone off around 6 AM and she had turned it off–their last rehearsal before they were off to Tokyo, Japan. What their mornings used to look like kept replaying in her head, the sounds of them like an echo of silence now because they no longer happened. There was no room filled with giggles despite it being early at dawn or noon. No words that were sweet affection were exchanged between them. There was no holding each other, hugging, kissing, and just being there with each other, close and content.

Neither could remember the last time they had said an ‘I love you’ to each other. 

It used to be always in the mornings, before bed and throughout the day. 

It made Y/n exhale while turning to lay on her back as they slept with their backs turned to each other. She tiredly stared at the ceiling unable not to look over at Jimin whose back was still turned to her, it was like a big ice wall fell and blocked them off. ‘It’s fine’ kept repeating itself in Y/n’s head as she pursed her lips and grabbed her phone to see that the time still flew and didn’t wait for them. It did not wait and they were wasting time away from each other when they could be making it meaningful. 

The footsteps outside were heard now and Y/n knew that they didn’t have more time to sit and wallow in their sorrows of holding onto something that wasn’t there. 

“We have to start getting up.” The girl mumbled just to make sure that the first alarm had managed to wake up Jimin. It did for Y/n because she hadn’t been able to fall into a deep slumber because of all the thoughts.

It was harsh, it was like a strong tornado carrying all types of feelings in it came through the room and cut through Y/n’s skin. “I know, Y/n.” The softness was gone and Y/n bit her lower lip because despite it all they hadn’t been like two snakes around each other, ready to bite and leave venom any second. They hadn’t tried to make it sting more than it already did, but it seemed impossible to do for too long. 

The younger still caught the sweet scent of Jimin that made the moment slightly less bitter, reminding her of all the good times when she’d be drowned in the scent. The duvet was thrown off of Jimin who got up from the bed, grabbing the hoodie from the chair on her way and all she left behind was a whirlwind of unspoken emotions after leaving the door ajar when she walked out. 

Y/n grabbed the little bear that fell beside her and stared at it, looking for answers in the tears she knew that Jimin was shedding every night. She pretended that she didn’t hear it, that she was asleep, that she simply didn’t know that she was making the girl cry. It was easier that way and in the morning she would look at the bear and still get no answers. She couldn’t acknowledge her silent cries because they would have to do something about everything if she did. 

Practice went as usual, almost as usual for the two of them. They both wondered if the rest had noticed their lack of communication and how they occupied themselves with the others to not make eye contact by accident. If they did notice, it wasn’t like any of them would comment on it since Y/n and Jimin’s relationship wasn’t their business. 

It didn’t even seem to be Jimin and Y/n’s business anymore as neither of them spoke about it. 

Still half panting, Y/n sat on the couch with Minjeong as the two got engulfed in the Nintendo 3DS Y/n had brought with her. There was an emptiness that she hadn’t been able to grow used to, she had become so used to having someone always right next to her for the past three years. It wasn’t constant clinging to each other, but even the small things such as brushing their legs or glancing at each other. The loss of that made a void grow bigger each second and the only thing that would fill it was if things went back to how they used to be.

It made Y/n wonder if Jimin felt the same and so she glanced away from the game, her eyes landing on her girlfriend. She was so used to it so she wasn’t sure if it was Jimin specifically or just a habit that was hard to let go of now, all that affection. The girl was busy talking to Aeri and no matter what they were doing someone’s back was always turned to the other. Y/n’s hoodie-clad the girl’s upper body and Y/n tilted her head, thinking about how maybe that was what brought Jimin the comfort of having someone next to her, just the warmth and scent. 

Their confusion about the situation was what made it hard for them to get back to the intimacy they used to share.

The door opened and Ning walked in with their manager, catching everyone’s attention as it got noisier when they started to all converse while making it to the couch. However, Y/n looked back down at the 3DS to occupy her eyes with something for a few more seconds to not try to figure out where Jimin would sit this time. 

Aeri was about to sit on the wooden floor, her eyes seeing the lone spot left beside Y/n as Ning was already on the floor by Minjeong’s legs with her drink and one of the pastries. Jimin made sure to insist that she could take the spot, but it still left her in an awkward spot on the floor by Y/n’s legs. Her shoulder brushed against them, bumping into each other constantly and she couldn’t bring herself to sit still, especially not when all the emotions were bubbling inside her. 

She couldn’t remember being this emotional before. 

How else was she supposed to be when everything felt out of control and she had no clue what to do? There was nothing she could do no matter how hard she tried to catch everything only for it to slip right through her fingers. 

Jimin wanted to cry when she took a sip of her drink and something just had to top it all off when her order seemed nothing but wrong. Everything in her life was crumbling, she was in pure distress and despair. However, things only could get worse–they had yet to reach the bottom–and not better because among the cold there was always a warmth as she tried to stop the pout on her lips while staring at her drink. 

Jimin felt like a puddle of water in the middle of the road, no one appreciated them and walked around them and all they did was harbour filth; filth being these feelings that only grew bigger, the mess of a puddle becoming bigger too. 

She looked up at the hand that took her drink, her glossy eyes meeting Y/n’s for a split second. 

The younger felt a heat shoot through her body, it was as if she broke a limb at the pain that she felt seeing Jimin actually harbour these tears and not just cry at night when she thought that Y/n was asleep. It hurt her chest, she cared about Jimin, and she knew that she always would because before she became her lover she was her best friend and member. Maybe that's why it hurt even more. Y/n had no clue who she lost in this silent war they were stuck in. 

Was she losing a lover? A best friend? A member?

“You can have mine.” Y/n knew her, Jimin hated it because it made everything even harder and Y/n could see the way the tears grew as quickly as a high tide in the girl’s eyes. She looked hurt, she was hurting, they were hurting, but they continued to do so without saying anything. Why could Y/n tell from a certain pout that Jimin wasn’t satisfied with her food or drink? Why did they have to be so caring for each other? It made cold things warm and they had no clue why things were cold to begin with.

They didn’t want to lose it.

She took the iced green tea she knew that Y/n loved and the younger took her drink. All it took was a sip of it and it all got overwhelming once again because the thoughts didn’t stop crashing inside of her head, exploding and occupying every corner of her mind. It made her wonder if Y/n was busy thinking the same things throughout her whole day too and the thought of being the only one to do so hurt immensely. 

“I will be back–restroom.”

The girls hummed, going back to what they were doing as Jimin excused herself, leaving everything behind her and she wished she could do that with the reality that she didn’t want to live in. It was haunting her. 

She missed the days when her biggest worries in a relationship were that the promised forever wouldn’t be long enough and not that everything had possibly dropped dead like flies around them, that the forever would never happen. It was a painfully slow dance in a burning room that neither of them left just to see if they could still survive once everything had crumbled fully and the smoke had filled their lungs.

Y/n knew that letting time pass would be too painful to sit through. Nothing was waiting for them. Even if it meant a bigger gap, she gave her 3DS to Minjeong who continued on the game while Y/n had become a pawn in a game no one was controlling. It was a game of chaos no one could cultivate anything out of, no order, no logic, no helpful solutions. This was a game of walking a thin line of nothing and everything. 

It was too tiring, walking inside the bathroom felt like getting locked in the confines of a place where no one would ever find her, no one would see her. No one would see if Jimin broke down in the bathroom and it made relief wash over her and the tears spilled like a broken dam. That was all it took and she tried to calm down, but it wasn’t possible as she turned on the faucet, letting it run to drown out her snivels and deep breaths. 

It was exhausting to be crying almost every day, she didn’t know what sleep was anymore and all she lived for was sorrow, she lived to continue hurting. 

Why did they make something simple so complicated? Love was what made it complicated. 

She used the pads of her palms and wiped at her eyes while tilting her head back and letting out a shaky breath. It felt like there was no calming down from this and each second only made it worse. The silence despite the running water, the echoes in the tiled bathroom, and the stalls empty. 

Jimin could still remember all the other times she had been crying in the same bathroom when everything felt like it was all for nothing because she couldn’t feel fulfilment despite her achievements. She could remember the way her girlfriend would end up in the same bathroom, coaxing it all out of her, taking all her burdens and carrying them for her. Could Y/n do the same thing now when they both were in the same shoes?

Everything reminded her of Y/n except Y/n herself. They both felt distant and like different people. 

Even the light knock on the door was familiar and she took in a shuddering breath, turning to look at Y/n when she opened the door. It fell closed right after, her hands in the pockets of her sweatpants, restricting herself from all those instincts that always kicked in. Her eyes followed the hesitance that was clear in Jimin’s body that pulled to Y/n, but with so much trouble as she held the sleeve of the hoodie against her trembling lips. 

“Come on,” Y/n mumbled, knowing that it was all that was needed to get the girl to just break down fully. “It’s okay to not be okay,” she mumbled as she wrapped her arms around the girl’s shoulders who shook in her arms. The hot tears were burning against her pale skin, wetting her neck, trailing down and spilling like they never had before. Her cheek rested against the side of Jimin’s head, pulling her closer to her body, into her warmth because it was all still the same, but it felt different. 

What was it that exactly wasn’t okay? It wasn’t just them themselves, but them together and it ended up making both of them not feel okay. 

Jimin tightly wrapped her arms around Y/n’s waist, crying into her neck. She got pulled closer, her head being cradled by Y/n’s hand. All of it made it impossible to hold the walls up, the ones that were supposed to show that she wasn’t as bothered by it as she truly was. In reality, Jimin could barely breathe through it without falling into a panic attack. Hearing Y/n’s words, and hearing that it was okay made it so much easier to let it all out, especially when she was with the girl and held by her. 

The reassurance that it was okay to cry about the landslide made it easier. Y/n recognised the burdens and Jimin wasn’t alone.

“I’m sorry for how I took it out on you in the morning.” Y/n only hummed, holding her close as Jimin had been a rose with its thorns aimed at Y/n since they woke up. From the harsh words to the ways she blatantly shut her out even when it was a small question not to her girlfriend but to the leader of Aespa. Jimin was scared and it was affecting her role as a leader too, as a member of the group. The fear was consuming her life fully and was getting in the way of everything. 

“I’m just so tired and I can barely sleep at night.” Or maybe she could sleep just fine but chose to cry at night instead of closing her eyes. She woke up more tired each day, every little second got more exhausting than the other. 

“I know, I’m sorry for all of this.” The younger knew all about it, but what she didn’t know was what exactly she was apologising for. Y/n knew that Jimin was crying at night because of what was happening between them, but she knew that it wasn’t her fault or Jimin’s. It was natural, it would have happened at some point, right? Y/n inhaled, closing her eyes because it hurt her, but seeing how much it affected Jimin made it hurt so much more and it made everything more complicated. 

“We can’t keep going without knowing where it’s all heading. I’m confused and–” Y/n stopped her before they got too deep into the truth because neither of them was ready to let go just yet, neither wanted to end it just yet. They needed some more time, some more time to find more than just one option to end their pain. There always was more than one choice. 

She pulled away from Jimin, her upper body lingered with the warmth that the shorter girl left after her. Jimin gripped at Y/n’s sweater, knowing that once they let go they would be apart for what would feel like years again. The void between them would become even bigger than it already was and they would avoid it for much longer. 

“I care about you, nothing will change that and it’s all fine, Jimin.” She held her face cupped in her hands, tears hitting her skin as the girl looked up at her with quivering eyes. They knew that these false paintings of their relationship would make them feel better for now. Not in the long run, but they tried to live in the present–it didn’t matter if they reminisced and avoided the problems of the present. 

Jimin blinked her eyes, trying her best to run into the daydream, trying to escape reality. Her eyes closed, hoping that she would be thrown into her daydream as Y/n kissed her forehead. 

She missed the pretty sunset sky, the fireworks, the green grass, the clouds that came in different shapes and would be fluffy. It was like a childish dream and possibly some people had been right when they said that young love was complicated. It wasn’t like they cared, they had always felt like teenagers in love with each other. 

Why wasn’t it working though? Where did it all go? It no longer felt like a daydream. It no longer felt like it used to do. 

It was so difficult to grasp something that physically wasn’t there, neither of them could grasp it, at the feelings. Love was so beautifully painful the way it painted them with all these different colours. The canvas would always be filled with them and to the eye it would always be beautiful but to the souls that served as the canvas it would always be heaven and hell. Among white there was blue, among blue there was green, among green there was red and it went on. 

The daydream was constantly corrupted by the harsh reality. 

It was like walking a tightrope.

The smallest mistakes felt deadly.

The stupidest mistakes.

It would be laughable if it weren’t for the fact that there was so much on the line. 

It was part of the social culture and Y/n had happened to fall victim to it because a few cigarettes had turned into a pack or two a week. What were her reasons? Probably all that went on in her hectic life, but it hadn’t been easy to sneak around with an addiction. It got especially hard when the dorm arrangements changed because she and Jimin got together. 

Y/n had managed to sneak around for a whole two months. All it took was one week of sharing a room with Jimin who gave up on pretending that she didn’t notice the lingering smell of tobacco on Y/n and slowly herself. 

‘Fine, I will quit for you.’

‘Not for me. For yourself and your health.’

‘Doing it for you makes it easier.’

‘Only if you don’t start doing it again. It will hurt to think that doing it for me wasn’t enough.’

‘I promise.’

Even the simplest promises were being broken. It felt all the more hopeless.

It was hard, to say the least with starting to dose down on how much she smoked until it was nothing at all. Y/n had never thought of herself as someone who grew addicted easily, but nicotine turned out to be a bitch and even a year and a half after quitting the cravings came back. There were certain times when they were extra tempting, it made her irritated and restless. It was times like these that she always had her substitutes for them, from nicotine patches to nicotine gum or simply Jimin. 

This time it felt like Jimin was the cause of the cravings. 

The world around them no longer felt real because of how they had surrounded themselves in a fake reality. 

“Did you slam the door in my face?” Venom, that was what Jimin spat out, pure venom behind her words as she locked the door to the green room. The rest were out and talking to their label mates, but it was better to make sure they didn’t walk in if they came back earlier. The last thing Jimin or Y/n wanted was for the rest to notice that everything around them was crumbling, that it had all become a smoke screen. 

Y/n inhaled deeply, rummaging through her stuff, ignoring the clatter as she was on the brink of losing it. “I didn’t and if I did, it wasn’t intentionally. I had no fucking clue you were behind me.” It was a low mutter, but it was just as poisonous as Jimin’s tone which had been louder. At the back of her head, Y/n had been expecting Jimin to be right behind her, she was the whole reason why she was buzzing with cravings. 

“You slammed it in my face and an apology wouldn’t hurt you, Y/n.” Jimin had no clue why she was letting it drag on. She could have dropped it, she was aware that Y/n didn’t know and even if she did, Jimin knew she deserved ten more doors slammed closed in her face. 

“You want me to apologise?” Y/n snapped that easily and it had never happened between the two of them–the cravings only made it worse together with the tension of constantly being on their guard not to let anything slip past them. 

They never really fought to begin with. All those small fights that never meant anything, that never held any real frustrations, it was different now. Those pent-up emotions came out and spilled right over the head of the other. Y/n wanted to throw it at Jimin because her girlfriend had been doing it since they landed in Tokyo. They were being petty for the sake of being it and not for any good causes. Y/n tossed the stuff onto the table, ignoring the even louder clatter of the things and continued to look through her stuff. 

“Called manners.” She commented. It was like she knew that something so simple would irk Y/n more than she already was, especially in this state.

“Oh, so Karina wants to talk manners.” Y/n huffed and turned around, leaning back against the table. Her arms crossed as she gripped onto her arms, hiding the tremor in her fingers as the anger and everything else was overwhelming. She hated fighting with the girl, but it felt inevitable when they were alone in the room with so much tension already lingering between them. 

The past couple of fights they’ve had been nothing but hurtful with no apologies after, pretending it never happened to begin with. 

Jimin’s eyes squinted at the words, Y/n barely called her by her stage name even when they were on stage. Hearing her bring it up was enough to let her know what Y/n was pointing at.

Jimin was falling under the pressure of juggling work and a relationship she could no longer figure out. It had never been a problem for them, but she felt like she had failed her role in the group by letting personal conflicts get in the way. 

Nonetheless, it would be impossible to admit to now when they were in an argument that grew by the second. 

“Don’t comment on my work ethic when you barely have yours under control. You’re being sensitive.” She argued, knowing very well that she had been letting her complex emotions and confusion about where she and Y/n were heading get in the way of her professionalism. 

“You’re the one crying over a door.” Y/n scoffed in disbelief, pointing at the door in question that was behind Jimin. The girl pulled on the strings of her hoodie in frustration at Y/n’s words. It only fueled her on, she couldn’t remember being able to get this angry with Y/n before, she had never thought that she could get angry with her. Or maybe it wasn’t anger that she felt towards Y/n, but just frustration because of how confusing their relationship had turned. How dead it was. 

Maybe she was angry at herself, at the world, or at how confusing love could be. She was angry at the fact that they let it die to begin with. 

“Because you slammed it in my face!” This time she let her voice fly way above what she imagined she would, her foot stomping down in frustration. The tears welled up in her eyes so easily, that constant haunting fragile mentality as everything was hurting and it didn’t let her breathe. 

“Because you are doing a shit job at being a leader!” Y/n watched Jimin pace around, watching how desperately she tried to get rid of her tears. Those tears of frustration, not knowing how else to take it out she yelled at Y/n and cried, but there was only so much that could cover her tears now. 

“Don’t comment on my work ethic, Y/n.” She repeated and found herself in front of Y/n, it almost felt dangerous to be so close to each other at a moment like this. It was scary because they had never had these fights and being so close to what used to be just comfort felt wrong, it felt wrong to bring these feelings into their safety net.

It ruined their purpose, the place they went to when they wanted to escape these feelings, the pressure, the world. It was all truly gone, wasn’t it?

She could feel it all spiral, leaving them with no control over what happened between them in the room.

“Someone has to when you forget how to separate relationships from work. Be a fucking leader and answer a fucking question instead of shutting me out because of our personal life.”

“It’s not easy when this is what it looks like!” She threw her arms, motioning to the mess they were together, the one they both had been avoiding because of how complicated it was. It was hard not to notice, but impossible to truly acknowledge and so it all mixed into everything else.  

“Nothing is ever easy for you, is it? That’s why I always become your punching bag when things go wrong.” The words left Y/n bitterly, her hands gripping onto the table behind her as she exhaled these deep breaths that helped with nothing. Watching Jimin with tears in her eyes wasn’t helping, but Y/n felt like the girl had been trampling all over her. She was using her title as a leader and girlfriend in a nonchalant way, she was neglecting Y/n as a member and not a lover. 

“That’s not true and you know it.” Jimin knew that it was all true, her tone faltering as she would feel even more guilty if she raised her voice to spit out lies. It hurt too much to say the truth of the situation. 

“It has been even more true lately,” Y/n muttered, her eyes leaving Jimin’s. 

It felt like the woman in front of her was trying to coax her into forgiving her without Jimin having to apologise. Y/n was done doing those things. She couldn’t put it all aside like all the other times when she accepted Jimin’s apologies she never even said. The ones where Y/n blatantly admitted to being wrong even when she wasn’t because she didn’t want to fight or see Jimin cry.

“Because–because—” Now came the difficult part for Jimin who had no good excuse for this and she knew that she was wrong. The problem bigger than this one was her pride and ego, they got in the way, especially now after how tense everything has been.  

“It doesn’t matter. Nothing is changing.” It made Jimin’s heart drop, Y/n’s stomach twisting at her own words that she never wanted to say. It was what it felt like though. 

She gently grabbed Jimin’s shoulder to have her step aside as she stood up to walk out the door. 

“Don’t say that.” A quiver fell from between her lips, a lump in Jimin’s throat that cut deep and made it all bleed much worse than it already was. Her hand grabbed Y/n’s to have her stay because, in the end, she didn’t want her lover to leave, not just yet and she quickly stopped in front of Y/n. She would never accept those words, not now at least because hearing them made her lightheaded, it made her chest clench and she wanted to collapse onto the floor to be swallowed before she could feel more pain.

“Where’s our manager? I need her to buy cig–”

“You’re not smoking just because things go wrong for us!” It wasn’t possible to speak with a quivering voice, it was too soft so she raised her voice again. She still cared about Y/n as a member, friend, lover and person, it didn’t matter what was going on between them. Jimin would always care about Y/n. Her hand bunched up the material of Y/n’s shirt in her hand as to keep the girl from leaving her. She refused to let go, in the end, she wasn’t supposed to want anything else but Y/n and even if her feelings were different she clung to that idea. 

That there was only one person for the both of them.

“Is this something else you want to cry about!? You didn’t bring my shit with you because you’re being petty and expect me to break habits.” It had become a habit, Jimin had become someone Y/n relied on with most of her things. If Jimin had been packing certain things for her it had become a habit that she would do it every time and it never crossed Y/n’s mind to do it herself anymore. 

It had never bothered Jimin either and now it was doing nothing but pissing both of them off. Those flaws they had accepted and learned to love before were nothing but a hassle to deal with now and they wanted the other to erase them and change. To change so they could learn to love these new people they would become.

“If you said that you quit for me then fucking keep the promise or will you break them all just because it isn’t working out for us at the moment? And I’m not your mother, Y/n, why do you rely on me packing your fucking things!” She shoved Y/n by the shoulder, wanting to get her away from her even for a split second because she was boiling over with emotions. It would never end well no matter who they were fighting with when there were too many emotions.

Jimin felt conflicted at her own pushing and pulling as she one second wanted no one but Y/n and the other second she couldn’t stand the girl.

“Everything I did for you feels like a waste at the moment when all you give me is headaches, Jimin.” Y/n’s voice was rough and loud, ignoring that they had more performances tomorrow. Jimin could feel the vibrations in her ribcage and she harshly wiped away the tears. It felt like Y/n didn’t deserve her tears at this exact moment, not after those words. She snivelled, still unable to stop them though because how couldn’t she cry when this was what they were now?

They continuously watched what they used to be washed away with each wave that clashed with their shore and dragged away the good to leave filth behind instead.

“I fucking regret even giving you an ounce of my time and life because you’re nothing but a pain to look after. You don’t get to be angry at me because I had to worry about not forgetting my stuff and yours on top of everything!” She couldn’t help but feel like all the blame was now coming her way and maybe she had let Y/n get too comfortable. Jimin couldn’t help it then, but the longer it went on the more she realised that it wouldn’t work that way. 

“You’re like a manchild for fuck’s sake.” Jimin groaned out as it continued to dawn upon her how much of an immature child Y/n could be. Had she been blind all this time? Why did she suddenly mind it? Why were these words even leaving her mouth when she had always loved and accepted Y/n for the person that she was? Were they just looking for reasons to make it all stop? 

“You made it a habit and I stuck to it. Suck it up the same way I have to suck up when I’m your punching bag whenever things don’t go your way.” Y/n couldn’t help but truly realise how much she always let Jimin get away with. The things she would say, the things she would do that hurt, Y/n always forgave her for every little thing because Jimin could do no wrong in her eyes. Jimin was spiralling right now because Y/n hadn’t forgiven her yet for how she had been pushing the younger girl around for the past few days as a member of the same group.

Here she was, still letting the woman in front of her shove her around and blame her for her own mistakes. The way she always forgave Jimin within seconds when she saw tears in her eyes even if Jimin was in the wrong. Y/n felt played by the older now as she realised how their dynamic had worked. 

Y/n would always be the one to take the blame even when it wasn’t hers to take. 

Jimin would always be the one to suffer from how much she took on herself willingly because Y/n couldn’t do it.

“You were playing video games instead of packing even after you saw how stressed I was with my stuff. You got upset over your motion sickness patches, your headphones, fucking lenses and now your gum. I’m fucking surprised you packed your clothes!” 

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t even enter the room without you getting pissed off because I would breathe. I’m not the one being immature but you, Jimin. You are the one who mixed our relationship into work, you’re the one who isn’t professional–” The older girl could feel herself boil over with anger with each point that Y/n made, each word pushing her closer to the edge. She felt like the points Y/n made were being invalidated, Y/n had yet to accept it for what it was and Jimin hated having the truth about herself being pointed out this way. 

“–the one to force habits and then thinking you can just switch them up within a second because you suddenly don’t like what you wanted. Not the whole world revolves around you, but you’ve been too fucking selfish lately to realise it.” Despite all the coldness between them and all that seemed gone, they hung on because every day small things happened that gave them hope–small gestures were enough and they were brought back to the past. It felt as if Jimin hadn’t been trying to work towards each other, but away from each other. “I’m always looking out for you and caring for you.”

Jimin was simply too scared to move anywhere at all because it felt like the smallest mistake would make what was left fall apart fully. She felt paralysed by how scared she was of the truth. It was like having bricks constantly pile on her chest, it was difficult to breathe with them there, and it was difficult to move with them there. The girl felt like she was chained to the pits of hell while staring up at heaven in hopes of it coming down to her. 

What it ended with was it looked like she was selfish for being too scared to move, as if she wanted the world to revolve around her. And maybe if it did it would make everything easier for her. 

“Go fuck yourself Y/n and stop trying to make yourself look like a hero when you make as many mistakes as I do.” Jimin scoffed and wiped at her eyes as she pushed past Y/n, they both felt completely neglected and invalidated by the other. The reality of what it always has been wasn’t easy to swallow because it had never bothered them until now. She was aware that she made mistakes, but Y/n made them too and couldn’t claim the title of a hero when they did as much caring as they did hurting.

Y/n turned on her heels as Jimin pushed past her, she could see the anger, despair and distress clouding her. It was like a grey cloud over their heads, constantly being there for them when they didn’t want it. “It doesn’t excuse your mistakes either and considering my girlfriend won’t do it, yeah, I will ‘cause she’s too busy being stuck up.” Y/n could tell that the last of her words were too much, that they were too disrespectful and insensitive, and that she shouldn’t even be thinking about it right now. Maybe Jimin was right about being nothing but a ‘manchild’. 

Y/n truly felt the consequences of her words when Jimin felt them dig deep into her heart and it was enough to throw everything else out. It was just for a second and she knew she could regret it and feel guilty about it later. The stinging on her palm would subside, but feeling disrespected by Y/n for the first time in her life would linger far longer as she turned back around and landed it across the younger’s cheek. 

“You’re an immature fucking child, Y/n. I’m not just for your pleasure and needs, so fucking respect me.” She spat out, holding onto the girl’s shirt with her stinging hand as it all shut Y/n up. The two were able to very clearly see through each other like glass, it wasn’t even like glass, but air from how clear it was and all they could see was pain and hurt. They caused each other pain and hurt and everything else they used to make each other feel was gone—but then came those moments where it wasn’t gone even if it was for a second and so they held on.

They both felt horrible as Jimin grabbed her things while wiping her tears, not sparing Y/n more glances. All she knew was that she needed to cry to let it all subside for even a bit. Y/n slumped down on the couch, the nicotine cravings slapped out of her. She held her cold palm against her cheek trying to ease the pulsating pain she knew she deserved and Jimin did too as they both were suffering for keeping each other chained down. 

Maybe they had never been perfect, to begin with.

Were all these things stuff they had always wanted to say and they now took the opportunity to do so since everything was already falling apart? Did they hold back on saying these things before because they were scared that they would ruin everything? Or were these things something that should have been brought up a long time ago to make it work out? 

They couldn’t answer that. No one could because it was too late.

Jimin had known that she would feel bad after, that the guilt would eat at her. She was terrified that their relationship had taken a new step forward, towards a goal they didn’t want to reach when Y/n slept in Minjeong’s hotel room. The two peers–in age–were close in the end and so Jimin spent the night tossing and turning wondering if the truth would come out now. That their love was under ruins, crushed and bleeding to death, setting the truth in stone and burying what they used to have six feet under to start a new life. 

She wondered if Y/n spent the whole night awake. Jimin could barely fall asleep knowing they were in the same bed, but with their backs turned to each other, let alone after what happened. She could barely sleep because of how her insides twisted in hopes of escaping to get away from the excruciating pain. The part of them being away after what went down only made her even more anxious. 

The girl got her answers the next day when Y/n was tired and Minjeong went on about her day without a single knowing glance or word. 

They had avoided each other unless they were on stage, but the second they came off it was back to normal. The new normal, they both missed the old normal but they seemingly couldn’t go back to it. 

Or so they thought because once again all that they had been missing poured over them like a rainstorm. 

The simple idea for all of them to go out and eat after the days of performing. There had been an undoubtful tension between the two and not for the same reason they would like to think. It felt horrible to sit beside each other without having apologised for what had happened. However, the longer they sat at the table the closer they seemed to get, but it could have been the alcohol in their veins. 

“I swear, it’s the first time these two aren’t all over each other.” 

Y/n felt a slight heat shoot through her, one of anxiety at Ning’s drunken words because now everyone seemed aware of the situation. It could have been the fact that they dared to speak up about it when they were drunk. Y/n didn’t know what it was, but she toyed with one of the side dishes, knowing that she and Jimin always got more affectionate when they were drunk.

“Tired, that’s all…” Y/n mumbled, trailing off as she looked over at Jimin who sat right beside her–the rest continuing the chatter. The two had been coming closer and closer with each shot of soju and every beer they finished. They could feel the other's heat on them, craving each other in this state no matter what had happened between them for the past months. They craved the affection of the other so much that it hurt, it was boiling from the inside and they were waiting for the other to cave in so they could be close. 

She watched for a second more as Jimin struggled with the marinated perilla leaf, lip between her teeth as she gently swayed, going over her limit this time. Y/n would always be the one to cave in for the older girl. Jimin rarely drank more than she could handle and even that was a lot, but Y/n could tell she was trying to drown herself further. The older woman was already drowning in all her emotions and trying to drown them in alcohol only intensified it all and Jimin felt like she would burst any second and start begging in front of everyone else. 

Y/n turned in her seat the slightest, her attention on the woman who was still the most beautiful one she had ever seen. The one she desired, but it was all so different no matter how beautiful they both were to each other. Her right hand reached over to Jimin, brushing the hair behind her ear and reaching with her left for the leaf. 

Eyes were glossed over, like polished glass from alcohol when Jimin finally looked up and Y/n picked up the leaf, her hand still holding back the hair so it wouldn’t get in the way. 

It was crushing both of them. Jimin felt her world brighten up with hope that had no space in their world anymore, but she wasn’t letting go yet. Y/n fed her with eyes gazing over Jimin’s features, feeling excruciating pain at the fact that she had made her cry, at the fact that they kept hurting each other unintentionally by holding on. It was worth it when these moments still managed to slip through the cracks and let in some light. 

Y/n let go of the latter's hair and wrapped her arm around Jimin’s waist when she leaned into her, resting her weight on Y/n’s side. Her hands found Y/n’s warmth as they pushed under the girl's loose sweater, doing all the holding on that she could. 

“I miss you.” They were sentimental words as Jimin gently whispered, her breath brushing over Y/n’s neck and the younger girl pulled her closer. Y/n took in a deep breath at how homesick she felt for a home she no longer had. They missed each other, they missed what they used to have, but no longer did and it dug into their hearts with no care, tearing them into pieces at how messy it felt. 

“I miss you–miss us,” Y/n mumbled, their world shutting the rest out, inhaling the smog-filled air of everything that had burned down to ashes. Jimin hummed as her eyes closed, hoping that the drunk sentiment would be able to suffice for now even if it was for just one night. All they needed was one night to figure it out, to get to feel what they missed and see if they could bring it all back to life. She felt Y/n’s soft lips press against her head and she nuzzled her face further into the scent that used to be a home and now was only what was left of one.

Her lips gently pressed over Y/n’s skin, her nails gently scratching over Y/n’s back as she moved her other hand up. She cupped the younger’s face, thumb caressing the porcelain-like skin she deeply regretted putting her hand on but she couldn’t regret it when she thought back on what they said to each other. Jimin deserved to suffer for her actions and Y/n deserved to suffer just as much. They would continue until they did the necessary.

Y/n got her head tilted down and looked at Jimin who rested her head against the younger’s shoulder. Her eyes pleaded for a remedy for all the heartbreak even if it was for just one night. To just get away from reality for a few hours. Her fingers brushed over Y/n’s cheek. Y/n gave a small nod and reached over for the beer she had left, finishing it and hoping it would all last long enough and not end the way it did a few days ago. 

“Will you guys mind if we leave early?” The girl asked, but it was already set in stone as she grabbed her jacket and helped Jimin up. They looked over at the two who were closer to each other than they had been for the past few months as Y/n put her jacket over Jimin. 

“Not at all,” Aeri replied, the rest humming in agreement.

It was a short walk to the hotel, wrapped up in each other the whole way and not letting go for a second as they walked in silence, scared to let go or say something that would make it difficult to be this way again. 

They at last did let go as they walked inside the hotel room, but it all shifted for a second as Y/n kicked off her shoes and sat down at the foot of the bed. There was no escaping this landslide, the clash that destroyed so much as she missed what she used to have with Jimin, but had no clue if they could get that back. It tied knots around her heart and tugged on it constantly. 

The latter managed to get her shoes off, the jacket falling after her as she walked over to Y/n. Despite the slight blur, she could see clearly through everything else and now was the only time she knew she could apologise. 

It used to be easier. 

“Y/n…” 

The girl took a deep breath and looked away from her hands and at Jimin who kneeled beside her. Her chin rested against Y/n’s thigh as she stared up at her girlfriend, her lower lip slightly jutted out. The younger one hummed, her hand running through Jimin’s hair as she caressed her scalp gently, missing the touch of someone else. The back of her fingers trailed over Jimin’s cold cheek who grabbed hold of Y/n’s hand, intertwining their fingers.

The silence braced them as they stared at each other, heads tilting, ears filling with the heavy yet soft breaths from alcohol-filled veins, the buzz of the outside world only faint. That silence of acceptance of what their love was, what it used to be and how it no longer was. 

Jimin heaved a sigh and rested her cheek against Y/n’s thigh, staring off into the dimly lit hotel room. The sentiment of sorrow, sadness and nostalgia as everything had become too farro reach now and it would be hard to save anything. If they could continue to pretend then everything would go back to being fine. If they lived a lie long enough, it would become their reality. 

“I’m sorry about the other day—” She mumbled, slumped on the floor and her gaze moved as she tilted her head to look Y/n in the eye. Their eyes connected, filled with the buzz of alcohol, and the perception of the fake reality they had created in their head washed over them. Those small gestures that made hope wash over them wouldn’t change anything, would they? They didn’t want to think about it. “I shouldn’t have raised my hand,” her lips momentarily formed into a pout at the disdain she felt for her actions.

Jimin knew there was no excuse for it even if she felt like an emotional wreck. They were losing control and it was starting to deeply affect them. They were going full speed through crossings with no hands on the wheels, covering their eyes to not look at the truth and soon enough they would crash right into a wall. 

“It’s okay, it’s fine,” Y/n always let Jimin get away with everything and nothing would probably ever change that.

Jimin shook her head, lifting it from Y/n’s thigh as she got up to stand on her two feet. Y/n’s fingers tangled into the sweatshirt the girl had on as she stood between her legs. Despite the slight tremors in Jimin’s fingers, buzzing with more than just alcohol, but also a surge of feelings, the uncertainty, longing, feelings of loss and hope; she cupped Y/n’s face in her hands. Her touch was soft as Y/n’s glimmering eyes met her.

“I shouldn’t have acted the way I did either.” Y/n mumbled, closing her eyes and resting in Jmin’s hands who caressed her features with her thumbs. They still would always melt at the affection because it was normal to crave, but it didn’t feel like it used to. Aside from it feeling good, those other things didn’t spread across them. “I’m sorry.” 

That sorry felt like it was for more than what happened in that room and Jimin knew it. She knew that the apology was because they both genuinely felt bad for letting a promise of forever die. 

‘I love you.’

‘Never stop loving me, Y/n.’

‘I will love you forever, I promise.’

‘I will love you forever, Y/n, I will always care about you.’

‘Don’t cry, Jimin, I’m always here for you.’

Jimin deeply exhaled and closed her eyes before she could let the tears even form and with a lump in her throat she closed the gap between them. Their lips met in a kiss to suckle on the hope left in them. It was eagerness, it was to forget and not to remember. Y/n’s hands grabbed hold of Jimin’s hips, pulling her closer.

They tilted their heads to meet tongues that tasted as bitter as the beer they had and the longing for what they had lost, as sweet as the sake they downed and the reverie they lived in. It was with desperation because it felt like it was the last of them that was left and they would do everything to latch onto it and stick forever. The forever they had promised. 

Jimin ran her fingers through Y/n’s hair, pushing deeper, wanting to feel more, she needed more. She needed Y/n, she missed the touch against her body and that was all that it felt like for them now. The fulfilment of each other’s needs and nothing else as Jimin discarded Y/n’s sweater, letting it fall to the floor. Her cool hands ran over the warm skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps, emotions swirling under their skin as they pulled away to remove Jimin’s top. 

Their eyes locked, looking for something, searching, but they had no clue what they were trying to find anymore. It ended quicker than expected and their lips met once again, meeting tongues and letting out desperate sounds. Y/n’s fingertips grazed over Jimin’s skin as if the girl was made of gold, the gentle and careful touch making the latter bubble with more need. She ran them over her sides, tracing every ridge, coming to her spine with one hand as the other slid over her ribs until she reached the hem of Jimin’s jeans. 

With ease she undid them and as they fell to the floor the older girl straddled Y/n who huffed at the weight that pressed down against her growing cock. As Jimin looked Y/n in the eye, the girl reached over to her face, brushing away the black strands of hair. She could still see a sparkle in Y/n’s eyes, but it was flickering. It wasn’t there for the same reasons that it used to sparkle. This was for the lust that would always linger inside their veins.

“Make me feel good, you owe me this,” Jimin mumbled, knowing that they both owed each other this for the things they had been putting the other through for the past months. This was finally their chance to make the other feel good in a way that was more than just sentimental. There was no sentiment in lust because it had never been part of it, but now it ruled them. 

She grabbed Y/n’s hand which was still by her face and captured those sweet lips while guiding the hand to the back of her bra. Jimin trailed her kisses away from Y/n’s lips and along her jawline, slowly going further and nuzzling her nose into her neck. The scent was still one of her favourites. She took it in and ran her tongue over the skin before wrapping her lips around it. 

It made Y/n stall with the bra, a faint whimper falling from between her lips as Jimin slowly started to gyrate her hips, rolling her heat against Y/n’s that was straining against her jeans. “I want your lips on me Y/n.” She breathed out against the red mark, wanting to feel the pleasure, they both wanted to be brought out of this hell they had painted as heaven. This was their chance. 

Y/n bit her lower lip, her neck being plated with kisses by Jimin all while the girl continued to press against her cock, grinding slowly while releasing shaky breaths between kisses. The girl managed to undo the bra and only then did her girlfriend pull away, letting Y/n remove it fully whose eyes focused on her chest right away. Jimin’s words hadn’t fallen deaf to her ears and all she wanted was to give the girl exactly what she wanted. This was the only thing that they could make work. 

“I love every inch of you.” Any other time the words would burn within Jimin’s soul and leave their mark and they had done so permanently, but they no longer reached as deep. They were all for the outside as they had changed from the inside towards each other. 

Her fingers tangled at the back of Y/n’s head, gently making her look her in the eye as she tilted her head. “Show me instead.” It was like a whisper, her lips ghosting Y/n’s, knowing that she would be able to feel more from actions rather than words now. 

Y/n manoeuvred them, laying Jimin down on the bed, legs wrapped around her waist as she stood by the edge of the bed. The girl bunched up the duvet beside Jimin’s head, taking one last look at her chest before she leaned down to show how much she appreciated her body. With fingers tangled in her hair and nails scratching her scalp Y/n started to leave scorching kisses along Jimin’s skin.

Her tongue soothed over the pulse, tenderly kissing down, her kisses tickling as she trailed down, taking in the soft hums and breaths that the girl let out. She came down to her collarbones, grazing her teeth over them, leaving her marks after her as those were the only good ones they managed to leave on each other now. Everything that went deeper hurt. 

A faint gasp left Jimin’s mouth when lips fervently latched onto her chest, all the heat running through her body and shooting straight to her aching clit. “Fuck,” was all that she could mutter at the warm tongue playing with her nipple, sucking on the tender flesh. Y/n’s devotion to what was left of them was shown through the way she consumed her flesh, leaving her bites to linger.

Y/n moved her mouth to the other nipple, her hand coming down to fondle the older’s chest. It was enough for more sounds to start coming from Jimin at the way her nipples were being played with and her chest littered with kisses. It made her thighs tense around Y/n’s waist, pulling her closer and when the rough material pressed against her cunt a moan fell from her lips. The younger girl hummed, pressing more against Jimin while toying with the hard nipples with her mouth and fingers, twisting and pulling, touching her in a way only she knew. 

It was yet another thing that was hard to let go of. The fact that they knew each other’s bodies so well and knew exactly what to do. It was all working against what should be done and driving them towards pipe dreams.

Her chest heaved, losing her words as they all came out breathless, being greedy for more to fill all the emptiness that had been growing for the past months. “You’re so good, baby.” She hummed, her eyes closing as her mind finally went empty, it went silent with everything else and all they could focus on was the moment and not what was and what would be. It was enough to make Y/n’s hips press more into Jimin, slowly moving them for friction while leaving the older’s chest glistening. 

She slowly started to move down further, kissing along the heaving slim stomach until she was on her knees in front of Jimin. The lacy black underwear seeped through with her arousal and Y/n’s fingers hooked at their hem, looking up at Jimin who was sitting up and looking down at her with lust-clouded eyes. She leaned back against her palms, raising her hips and letting Y/n peel off the last piece of her body.

Her hands ran over Jimin’s thighs, spreading her legs further apart while biting onto her lower lip at the view of her glistening pussy that was leaking with juices. She lifted the girl’s leg and rested it over her shoulder before she started to kiss along her inner thighs, gently biting and sucking on the soft flesh as her hands needily kneaded them. It made Jimin heave a sigh, her hand coming to grab hold of Y/n’s head, dwelling in the feeling of the butterfly kisses left along her inner thighs. 

Through her hooded eyes, she watched Y/n, making eye contact every time the younger looked up through her lashes for approval of what she was doing despite knowing Jimin’s body better than most things. Her fingers pressed into the flesh as her arm was wrapped around one of her thighs, inching closer until she reached the girl’s heat. It was enough to make the older girl squirm the slightest when she got pulled closer to the edge before feeling the wet muscle drag between her folds.

Y/n grabbed hold of her waist with her free hand, holding Jimin in place to not have her squirm too much. Her tongue ran between her folds, spreading the wetness as she dipped her head and circled the grasping hole. The grip on her hair tightened, ears being filled with soft moans and whimpers as she continued to work her tongue and lips around the puffy cunt. She sucked on her lips, enjoying the mess that was spreading on her chin, lapping every little bit up to get more on her tongue. 

Jimin slowly felt herself lose her mind at the teasing tongue, Y/n taking her time to continue working her up. The need continued to bubble inside her, her clit throbbing for attention and her hole clenching as she wanted to be filled until she would feel numb in the brain for at least a few minutes. This was finally something they could grasp at, the escape from everything even the daydream they had created, getting to a real one even if it wouldn’t last too long.

The light moans filled the hotel room when Y/n’s lips at last wrapped around her swollen clit, her tongue coming out to flick at the bud. The pace between slow and fast, sucking and flicking was making Jimin’s thighs tremble around the girl’s head. Her fingers were tangled in Y/n’s hair, pulling her closer to her pussy as her hips faintly bucked at the pleasure. 

Y/n drowned, getting as much pleasure from drowning between Jimin’s soft thighs as the girl above her was feeling from the tongue that was toying with her needy cunt. She caressed her heaving stomach with her other hand, kneading the plush flesh of her thigh as she felt Jimin pull her further into her with her leg that was on her shoulder. 

“Fuck, Y/n–” She whined, her breathing picking up and growing heavier the longer her clit was played with. She could feel it all slowly approaching her and soon enough she would reach the edge and fall off of it. 

The girl dipped her head, her nose rubbing against the swollen clit and her tongue lapped at the juices. The room filled with the sopping sounds of Jimin’s pussy and moans and Y/n’s mouth messily eating her out, moaning at the taste and tugs on her hair, her cock throbbing at how good it felt. With the sticky mess collected on her tongue, she circled her clit and went back to flicking at it and tugging with her lips. 

“So close, ‘m so close, baby.” 

Her body started to tense up, Y/n’s ears muffled at how the thighs locked around her head with her head being held in place. It made her sore tongue work harder to be able to hear Jimin’s voice go up higher. 

That was enough for the older girl to lose her control and the sounds started to spill from her mouth, moaning Y/n’s name in a high pitch. Her body got consumed by heat as her vision blacked out and her ears started to buzz when the orgasm hit its peak as Y/n continued to flick at her clit. It was making her whine and buck her hips for more until she felt herself crash back down to reality. She heaved for air, loosening her grip on Y/n’s hair and the girl slowed down, only leaving small kisses along her skin that was scorching. 

When she got back up on her feet their lips met in a vivid kiss, Jimin’s hands working on Y/n’s jeans to undo the loose material. She tugged them down together with Y/n’s boxers, her hand wrapping around the thick cock that was scalding in her hold as she pumped it, smearing the precum as she reached the swollen tip. The whimpers that fell from Y/n’s lips were swallowed by Jimin, moaning into the intense kiss. 

She pulled Y/n down, making her lay down on the bed, the younger girl moved back until she was in the middle of the bed, leaning against her elbows. Her eyes were on Jimin who got on the bed before crawling over to her. They got engulfed in each other's heat as she straddled Y/n who slumped back, running her hands over the girl’s thighs and to the back of her ass to caress it. 

“No one knows me like you do.” She whispered, leaning down and letting her lips brush over Y/n’s with her fingers tracing along her jawline. No one knew Jimin like Y/n did and no one knew Y/n like Jimin did and even if it looked the way it did, they carried that fact with pride. She pecked the girl's lips, pulling away and letting Y/n chase after her as she tried to grab hold of Jimin’s face, but got her hands pinned down to the bed. 

“Jimin–” She tried although was cut off as she let her head fall back against the mattress, fingers twisting the duvet as her wrists were held down by the girl on top of her. 

“I hate that now.” She admitted, hating that no one knew her as well as Y/n and that no one would ever get to know her as well again. They had learned from their mistakes and now no one would ever be able to compare. There was no one she would open up to like this again, not when it hurt so much when it all died. They didn’t want to go through this pain twice when they never wanted to experience it to begin with.

“I know.” Jimin huffed, her lips brushing over Y/n’s neck because obviously, the younger girl would know that Jimin hated it now. “Do you regret it?” Y/n mumbled, doing her best to not squirm under the girl who was leaving light kisses along her neck. The words from the other day still lingering, but Jimin knew that she never meant what she said about regretting it.

“No matter how much it hurts–” Jimin pulled away and looked Y/n in the eye, the younger’s head tilting to the side as she stared up at her with hopeful eyes. Y/n’s eyes alone were enough for Jimin to know the answer, she knew it right away as she reached her hand down to Y/n’s face, one still holding her wrists down. Her thumb tenderly caressed along Y/n’s cheek and over her lips. “I could never regret everything I’ve given you.” And everything she gave was all that she had after she placed herself in Y/n’s hands and she would always be there even if what made her give herself in the first place had withered. 

Her thumb tugged down on Y/n’s lip before she leaned down and attached their lips once again. Sighs fell from between their lips, Jimin’s hand running between their bodies to grab hold of Y/n’s cock. 

Y/n pulled away from the kiss, panting for air as her eyes fell between their bodies, watching Jimin drag the swollen tip through her folds, the slickness and warmth were enough to make Y/n bite back a whine at how good it felt. The grip on her wrists tightened when her tip made contact with Jimin’s clenching hole, slowly pushing into the tightness that sucked her in. 

“So tight.” The younger mumbled, her chest heaving at the anticipation as she watched herself slowly disappear inside of the girl on top of her, splitting her folds with her cock. The tight walls engulfed her length, grasping it and sucking her inside with greed as they continuously clenched at the stretch. 

“You make me feel so full.” Jimin sighed with a whine at the slight pain. 

Y/n’s eyes stayed glued on how her cock got engulfed by Jimin’s tight pussy, splitting her lips around the thick shaft and she slowly moved. The older girl hummed, letting go of Y/n’s wrists. Both her palms rested on top of the girl’s stomach with her nails slightly digging in at the painful stretch. Hands caressed her thighs while she lowered herself until she felt Y/n deep inside her, filling her to the hilt. 

Y/n dropped her head, shutting her eyes tightly when she was fully inside Jimin who let out a light moan at the feeling. Her cock was throbbing, twitching at how good it felt, the warm and wet walls were pulsating around her and her stomach flexed with every little move. 

She slowly started moving her hips back and forth, her clit still sensitive from her first orgasm as it dragged along Y/n’s pelvis. Her walls fluttered, and being filled up was making her crave more at how good it felt. The feeling of Y/n’s veiny cock raw inside her tight cunt was overwhelmingly good, making out each vein that dragged along her walls.

She gyrated them as they whined back and forth on Y/n’s dick whose lips were parted at the way it dragged along the clenching walls. Her ears were graced by Jimin’s soft gasps and sighs, nails digging into her stomach. The older’s thighs flexed, her walls pulsating and clit throbbing as she slowly increased her speed, chasing her pleasure by using Y/n. 

“I love using your cock to make myself feel good,” Jimin whined, her head getting thrown back and Y/n groaned at the words that made her dick ache inside the hot and wet cunt of the girl. Their bodies moved and fit together perfectly like waves that collided against waves, their bodies buzzing with that feeling from the inside as their head splashed with desires. 

Her chest heaved at the sight of her girlfriend grinding along her cock, watching how she chased her high once again. The sounds were starting to get more lewd with each moan falling from the girl’s lips, Jimin’s wetness coating Y/n’s base and the mess only got bigger.

“You look so good doing it.” Y/n could feel the way the walls clasped around her at the words, the girl taking all the pleasure in using Y/n for her benefit as Y/n enjoyed it just as much. The way the girl would go on and have her orgasms before Y/n even got to think of hers.

Jimin was on top of her with a vice grip on her cock with her sopping cunt. Y/n’s hands were on her the thighs flexed with each movement and her tip was hitting all the right spots deep inside her. She watched the way the older gasped and threw her head back, dragging her swollen clit along Y/n’s pelvis. Jimin reached behind her and held onto Y/n’s tense thighs instead, rolling her hips in a way that was making her stomach tighten and warm up as she fucked herself on top of the girl.

“I’m so close, baby–fuck, so good.” Her voice cut into a higher pitch as the orgasm started to wash over her with her hips bucking for more and Y/n’s thumb found its way to her swollen clit. She circled the bud as Jimin kept bucking her hips against her, watching the way her chest bounced with each movement.

The throbbing walls clasped around her cock, squeezing it tightly enough for the movement to slow down. Her thighs quivered and she let out cries of pleasure, her voice light and bringing Y/n closer to the edge at how good she looked on top of her. Nails dug into Y/n’s thighs, heat pouring over Jimin’s whole body at her second orgasm.

She heaved for breath, stopping her movement and shivering at the shocks going through her warm body. Her body got engulfed in Y/n’s arms when the girl sat up, her cock still buried deep within the confines of Jimin’s pulsating pussy. She wrapped her arms around Y/n’s shoulders, palms running over her back which was covered in a sheen of sweat. 

As Jimin looked at Y/n, she didn’t want to be done yet, she wished she could drag this out for the rest of her life. To make this serene moment last forever as their bodies became one and all that had been on her mind disappeared. Those worries were gone, it was just now, the present forgotten and the future didn’t exist until it was tomorrow and by then it was present again. 

She tangled her fingers at the back of Y/n’s hair, slowly moving up and down while pulling Y/n more into her. Their breaths mingled, parted lips grazing until she caught Y/n’s lower lip between hers and gently tugged. It was all that they needed, to be back in each other’s arms, to be close and it started to ignite the spark of hope although it didn’t seem to glow strong enough as it continued to flicker back to life before disappearing. 

“I miss you–so much,” Jimin mumbled as she pulled away, moving her hips back and forth as Y/n’s breaths grew heavier. The younger buried her face in the crook of her neck, planting tender kisses. Jimin could feel it all coming back, maybe she hadn’t been drunk enough, or maybe no matter how drunk she was on lust and alcohol she would never be able to drown out the pain of a breaking heart. 

The alcohol and lust weren’t able to mend their hearts. 

Y/n looked up when Jimin pulled her away from her sweltering neck, their eyes met, Jimin’s were glimmering and the entry to her soul had always been open for Y/n. The longer she stared into the window of her soul, the more she realised how crushed Jimin was and it was enough to clarify that they were both suffering. Her hand smoothed over Y/n’s jaw, running along it as she tilted the girl’s head back, her movement not stopping as she watched Y/n slowly crumble under her.

It was shattering her insides to see Y/n this way, the same way it was shattering Y/n to see Jimin like that. They had never thought that the person they loved the most would be the one to destroy them the most too. 

Love was lethal no matter how much two people loved each other.

“Fuck–” Y/n breathed out, being cut off by Jimin’s soft lips, the girl could feel the length inside her grow harder and twitch as it was clasped inside her heat. They swallowed each other’s moans until they no longer could and the older’s pace picked up, her ass colliding with Y/n’s thighs each time she went down while letting out quick and sharp breaths. Y/n’s hands gripped onto her ass, fingers digging into the soft yet firm flesh as she helped Jimin move, feeling the movement slack off at times. 

A soft and light moan escaped Jimin’s lips, grounding herself down on Y/n’s cock, arms wrapped around her shoulders as she panted against her neck. Teeth dug into her shoulder, the whimper suppressed from the younger as she could feel the ropes of cum shoot one after another into her, painting her walls white. Y/n pulled away from her shoulder, slipping out of Jimin’s warmth as they eased down to reality.

Everything stilled as the younger girl still held Jimin in her arms, caressing her warm back while taking deep breaths. It felt like neither of them planned to move any second as the girl snuggled closer into Y/n’s neck, burying her face in the crook of it, her eyes shutting tightly.

It was making Jimin’s chest heave at the panic she felt because she could only watch it all slip through her fingers, unable to do anything to save it.

The attempt to suppress her sobs was feeble as the first one slipped through and then a second followed and her tears were staining Y/n’s skin once again. “Jimin–” 

“I’m scared, Y/n.” She cried into her neck, sobbing and snivelling as it overwhelmed her once again, this time she wasn’t able to hold back on releasing what was heavily on her chest. It didn’t matter how scared they were to bring up the obvious because the thought of how it would end was terrifying. Neither wanted it to end. However, the realisation dawned upon them and it would all end much sooner than intended if they did nothing about it. 

“I’m right here.” Y/n slowly pulled her away, manoeuvring Jimin’s body like fragile butterfly wings that could crumble with a little too much pressure. The girl continued to cry, pulling her knees to her chest, crying into them as Y/n draped the duvet over her, covering her naked body. 

She couldn’t grasp at it, at how all the promises died the second their love did, that they made promises they couldn’t keep and it never should have been this way. They promised to love each other forever and they did, but it no longer was the love that was beyond care and compassion. It was adoration and not love, the love; was gone. 

Jimin refused to accept it, no, she couldn’t accept that and would dig through every little corner until she found something that would help the withered flower bloom back to life. She’d shed all her tears until her eyes would be bleeding just to have enough to water their flower of love that had died. There had to be some way to save it even if it hurt, even if it hurt more than it already did.

Y/n got back onto the bed after she pulled on her boxers, Jimin was still crying into her knees until the younger girl sat behind her, the duvet resting over the both of them. She held back on her tears as she cradled the weeping girl’s head, lending her shoulder to cry on once again and she would continue doing so until her last breath. It would never matter what type of love they held for each other, she would always care even if everything else they used to have that was deeper had died. 

It was a death neither of them knew how to cope with.

“I’m here for you.” She reassured her, kissing the top of her head.

“I hate this, Y/n—” Her sobs cut through her words, her hands gripping the duvet before they let go, feeling hopeless; what was there to hold on to in reality? There was nothing to hold onto as they both freely fell through hell for each other. It made them weak in so many ways. “Nothing is the same anymore and I don’t know what to do.” Acceptance was hard for anyone, it had always been hard, but it was even harder when it came to something they made their whole lives revolve around. How could they just accept that their worlds no longer circled the other? 

It stung, it hurt deeply to think that this was possible, something they had never thought about had become their reality. The flower that bloomed with their love was dead. Yet these tears and the pain they felt at the thought of needing to let go made them want to try again. One last try to revive something that had been dead and cold for months. If some miracle happened, they would be able to bring it back to life. Their love would bloom from a dead flower at some point, they would continue watering it with their tears, crying over the dead flower that was their love in hopes of it coming back to life.

“We can make it work again.” Y/n wasn’t brave enough to say the words, she wasn’t strong enough to say them for Jimin and herself. To admit for the both of them that what was lost was lost and that it was time to say goodbye and bury their love because there was nothing to save once it was already gone.It was too difficult to bury it when they had yet to accept its death. They had no clue how to cope with everything.

It was eating at them, tearing them apart and glueing them back together into an even bigger mess.

“We can fix everything,” Y/n reassured, knowing that these could as well be empty words and new promises to break, but she couldn’t give up. She couldn’t give up on Jimin even if they were mistaking care and compassion for a small ember of love that they could turn into a fire. That fire had gone out a while ago and what was left were ashes.

“Do you think that’s possible?” She whimpered, wanting to do anything to try and grasp at that false little ember of hope.

“I don’t know,” Y/n whispered, just as uncertain, but she would do anything for Jimin even if it meant ruining herself. 

They couldn’t know, but at least it was reassurance that they didn’t have to let go yet and could continue no matter how much it hurt because it would hurt even more if they were apart. It was too difficult to let go of someone they had built their lives around. They would hurt for each other and they would choose that over happiness with someone else because no one would ever be able to give them what they used to have.

They longed for each other’s love. They missed it and just wanted to feel it again but it was all gone. It no longer felt like it used to and they missed those feelings they used to have. Where did they go wrong for it to happen in the first place? What were they supposed to do to fix it? Let go and move on. Stay and continue to drag through the impossible to try and fix it?

They weren’t in love anymore, they just loved each other.

[loggiepj]

To Love A Lannister

chapter 7 | chapter 8

"Y/n," Cersei moaned.

In a slow and torturous pace, the bed rocked with every thrust of your cock inside her. Enthralled by the pleasure displayed on the Queen's face and the warm walls tightening around you, the pain you felt from her nails digging against the skin of your back was disregarded, knowing it'd be a wonderful souvenir she'd leave behind.

Kneeling, you gripped Cersei's hips, before pushing your cock relentlessly against her cunt over and over. She threw back her head and arched her back from the new angle, your cock hitting the right spot in her core as her eyes rolled to the back.

You slid your hand under her back without pulling out and lifted her body as you encourage her to straddle you, bucking up towards her as she rolled her hips down meeting you. Your eyes darted to where you two meet and every fiber in your body was on fire.

The filthy moans coming out of the Queen's mouth was driving you insane. She threw her head back lost in ecstasy, exposing her neck before you. Burying your head into her neck, you sucked into her skin then kissed her collarbone before your lips enveloped around her hardened nipple.

"Oh gods, Y/n," she moaned, her tight walls contracting against your cock. You kept on pounding inside her until you could feel your own peak approaching.

Cersei pulled your head from her breasts and kissed you desperately and hungrily, hands clutching against your messy hair. She broke off the kiss as she elicited another loud moan, her hips never wavering from meeting your thrusts. "Please don't stop, please don't stop."

You had no plan on stopping, not when her cunt was gripping you tight and you could barely move anymore. Until both of you exploded. You came a second first, your cum shooting inside of her. The twitch of your cock made Cersei's body spasm, hugging you tight with her arms and legs around you.

Having cummed inside the Queen for the nth time that day, you still couldn't get used to the feeling. The first time you were hesitant, which only spurred when she revealed to you that she'd be seeing Maester Qyburn later that day for the special tea. It made you worry less from coming inside her.

Although it would be a dream come true for Cersei to bear your children some day, it wasn't wise for the time being.

Both panting, your heads leaned against each other before chuckling breathlessly. "You make me feel so good," the Queen gasped, her smile reaching her ears.

"You're doing a great job as well, you know," you said before meeting her lips for a quick peck.

Her eyes then flitted to your chest, hand instinctively cupping your breast with her thumb brushing over your nipple. "You're so pretty, it's a mystery you're not yet taken."

Cersei then put her lips around your nipple, making you lean back against your elbows to give her space to move. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head when the queen gave equal attention to your other breast.

"If you keep on doing that, we won't be able to get out of bed," you moaned.

Another roll from her hips made you hiss since you were still inside of her.

"It's nearly the morn though, I need to go back to my chambers before my handmaiden wonders where I am," Cersei said, without even moving from her spot, each grind of her hips rendering you hard again.

"You. . ," you stuttered. "You have been saying that since an hour ago."

"I know," she gasped, your cock hitting a soft spot inside her. "I can't seem to get enough of you."

And you knew you do too as you lifted her and laid her back down the bed, her legs instinctively wrapping around your waist as you thrusted into her.

"Mmm, Cersei," you cooed softly into her mouth as her hands roamed around your back before stopping at your ass, pulling you closer and deeper into her.

"I like having you like this," she murmured in gasps.

"And . . . how is that?"

"At my mercy," she whispered, her eyes boring into you. Your mouth met hers passionately as your pace fastened. Her warm walls started to contract once again, her hips rolling upward to meet you.

She came first that round, making her break the kiss and threw her head into her sheets, eyes shut closed as she let out a loud moan. You followed upon watching such wonderful sight, burying your head into her neck as you grunted your release. Her hands squeezing your ass made you twitch more cum than usual.

Pulling out, you laid down on your back as you cursed blissfully. You two then burst in laughter.

Cersei crawled towards you and placed her head on your shoulder. "Did you know what rumors I heard from servants when you arrived from Dorne?"

You chuckled. "I'm used to that by now."

"I wasn't referring to your special appendage, although I got a lot of talk hearing about how huge it was and apparently they weren't lying."

Your cheeks only got redder.

"Is that why you got intrigued and pursued me?"

She chuckled, gently slapping your chest. "No, well, not just that."

When laughter died down, she went on. "I used to envy pretty girls growing up, how they had flowers as crowns on their head, or locks as wavy as it could get, and I thought I'd want to be like them. No, actually I wanted to be prettier than them and that I'd get all the suitors alone. And even when I always got what I wanted, I never ever seem satisfied, you know. And then you came in marching proudly with your y/h/c hair and y/e/c eyes," she touched your hair, "I made it my mission to torment you because I hated it when someone's prettier than me."

Her forefinger then traced towards your lower lip. "But it was different. Thinking about you, everything about you to the point that I myself am being tormented. Until I heard one of the servants in the Kitchen Keep mention how you liked women and how you know how to pleasure them, all I keep wondering on about was how I want you and how I want the girls you seek to be me. Only me."

"You are though," you admitted. "I have not wanted anyone since the day I met you, during your late husband King Robert's name day."

The revelation made her eyes peak with interest.

"I was reading in the Library when I bumped into you. You probably don't remember it-"

"That was you," Cersei said, smiling. "You were eating this disgusting piece of food hanging from your mouth."

"Hey, that was a delectable piece of mince pie." This made you both chuckle.

"That first night we spent together," the Queen went on. "I figured out two things I was particularly scared of. One, your mouth is amazing." It brought a proud smirk on you, making Cersei roll her eyes and laugh. "And two, I . . . I like women more than I like men."

You looked at her with adoration as she only avoided your eyes, shy from her confession. It only made you want her more.

"Wait," you began, cupping her face to make her look back at you, "when you say women, does it mean me or-"

"Of course, it's you, you fool," she said with another playful slap on your chest, before she leaned closer and rested her head on top of you.

You smelled sunflowers from her hair as you kissed the top of her head. "Honestly," she continued in a whisper, "I think I'm more myself when I'm around you."

Cersei then pulled away using her elbow. She said, pouting, "I really do have to leave you now."

"Or you could stay?" you suggested with a hopeful smile.

She leaned forward, capturing your lips in a kiss, her hand instinctively roamed on your stomach down to your flaccid cock before she started stroking it.

"Gods, you're insatiable," you said, chuckling.

"Am I?" she teased before straddling on top of you and lining your cock into her entrance. "Then why are you already so hard for me?"

~~~

It was bliss the following days before Joffrey's wedding. If anyone could just focus, they'd notice the lingering glances being exchanged between you and the Queen. The late nights you had been spending time together, the times she would pull you into an empty corridor just to kiss you hungrily and the days she'd choose not to attend any of her father's council meeting just to meet you in your chambers or hers and fuck when time would allow it.

Jaime noticed, of course. He even managed to corner you two days before the wedding.

"Lady Y/n," he greeted to which you only nodded back. You two were heading towards the dining hall for the night. "How was your trip here in the Capital? I'm sure you're already looking forward to go back home in Dorne this weekend."

You forced a smile, not letting him know you had no plans returning so soon. "It was great. I think I've had it better than you," you paused when his eyebrow raised, "I mean, you're returning to Casterly Rock too. I'm sure you'll miss your days here in the Red Keep."

Then he stopped walking and pressed a hand on your shoulder, stopping you as well. "She's using you, you know. For her own pleasure." You stiffened, making him smirk then he leaned closer into your ear. "And once she's tired of you, she'll throw you away like one of her old dolls."

You pushed him off you. "You know nothing of her."

"Oh, we share the same blood, Y/n. Trust me, I know her. My sister's not capable of love. She's a hateful woman."

~~~

Oberyn found out eventually from your actions when he was asked you how you had been. And somehow, when you were inside your chambers with Cersei and you almost ready to tear each other's clothes, he knocked and entered without waiting for a reply, placing a flask on the nearest table. You knew that liquid. It was a tea made from a certain Maester back in Dorne. It was the same tea your father had used on your whores.

"You know what to do, Y/n," Oberyn advised, avoiding to look between the two of you, and quickly exited the room.

Cersei glared at you after Oberyn left, her mask of stern cold face suddenly up. She pulled away from you, creating a distance you didn't like. "Did you tell him about us?"

"I didn't, I swear," you answered back hurriedly.

She only fell silent before her eyes landed on the flask on your table. "This feels so wrong," she muttered, her arms crossed against her chest.

You carefully approached her. "Hey, hey, don't let Oberyn get to you. You know how he despises Lannisters from the start-"

"And you?" Her eyes met yours, and you could see she was scared.

"I won't be here with you if I also hate you," you assured her. Cersei let you gently rub her shoulders.

The queen fell silent again before she walked away heading towards the table, observing the liquid. "How many whores have you fucked since your arrival that Oberyn feels the need to bring this from Dorne?"

You sighed. "No one, I promise. Father's just wary when it comes to these things, something about-"

"Not creating another bastard?"

You could tell she was furious, offended. So she needed to hurt you as well.

She went on. "I supposed he's right since you'll be gone after the wedding."

"Cersei-"

"Do not call me that," she snapped. "I'm not one of your whores. Do you think I'd be a fool not to drink this tea after every night we spent together that you you even needed Oberyn to remind me."

"That's not what what you think-"

The argument stopped when someone knocked on the door. Jaime called behind it, "Father's requesting for you."

The Queen then left without batting an eye towards you.

~~~

You waited outside the council room unsure of what to do. You could hear shouting inside but you couldn't decipher the heated words being exchanged. What you could just tell was Cersei's little voice carrying against the wind, as if she was terrified.

When Cersei and Jaime finally stepped out of the room, gone was the soft look on the Queen's face replaced by a cold one, the one she sported when the two of you first met.

"What happened?" You approached her. "Are you okay?"

You were about to touch her arm but she slapped your hand away. "You need to learn your place, Lady Y/n. I am still your Queen."

Then she walked past you, with a sniggering Jaime in tow.

"Wedding's tomorrow, Lady Y/n," he said with a smug smile. "I suggest you get a good night sleep tonight."

[stilinskikisses]

𝑭𝑰𝑵𝑫𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑭𝑨𝑰𝑻𝑯 ~ MOODBOARD

╭┉┉┅┄┄•◦ೋ•◦❥•◦ೋ

𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑳𝑬𝑺 / 𝑽𝑶𝑰𝑫 𝑿 𝑭𝑬𝑴!𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹

•◦ೋ•◦❥•◦ೋ•┈┄┄┅┉╯

| 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑻 𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮: 𝑺𝒎𝒖𝒕, 𝑨𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒚, 𝑮𝒂𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝑴𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝑴𝑫𝑵𝑰 18+

☆ 𝑶𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑹: 💋

☆ 𝑺𝑴𝑼𝑻: ❤️‍🔥

☆ 𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑺𝑻: 🖤

———————————————————————

SUMMARY: Y/n L/n is a normal Beacon Hills student. She gets good grades is very popular especially with the boys ;). Particularly one boy her chemistry partner. Stiles Stilinski. The boy has been pining over the girl since she arrived to the school freshmen year, learning every fact about her and spending each day romanticizing ever single interaction with her.

But what happens when void takes over controlling Stiles body. Learning his mind only to find out the girl he’s been head over heels for is something beyond her vision something so powerful, something so valuable to the nogitsune. The connection between the two making void also pining after the girl.

His plan is simple, get the girl and use her for a energy source. But will he be successful? What happens to Stiles? What will the pack say? What will Y/n say.

| 𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑰𝑬𝑺 𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑺𝑶𝑶𝑵 |

———————————————————————

𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑷𝑻𝑬𝑹(𝑺) 𝑺𝑵𝑬𝑨𝑲 𝑷𝑬𝑨𝑲𝑺 <3

CHAPTER ONE - LOOSING FAITH 🖤💋

CHAPTER TWO - FINDING FAITH 🖤

CHAPTER THREE - DISTURBING TRUTHS 💋

CHAPTER FOUR - MINE ❤️‍🔥🖤

CHAPTER FIVE - LOCK ME UP 🖤

CHAPTER SIX - BABY, 🖤

CHAPTER SEVEN - SLUT! 🖤

CHAPTER EIGHT - BEYOND US🖤

CHAPTER NINE - TRUE ALPHA 🖤💋

CHAPTER TEN - FAITH WITH IN US ❤️‍🔥

| Trust me there will be so many more chapters these are just all the ones I have planned so far / started drafting in my notes |

This is a work in progress and I will still be posting one shots during this so the series will probably take awhile my goal is to get chapter one done by tmr!

xoxo Layla

[wandasslut3000]

Masterlist ᗢ

Wanda Maximoff:

Welcome to the neighborhood*

Did you miss me?*

I can’t live without you*

Keep going*

Are you desperate for me?*

First time*

Mommy’s milk*

Elizabeth Olsen:

You’re mine*

Video games*

My little princess*

Welcome home*

Would you still love me

Natasha Romanoff:

Who’s in charge?*

Thank you for saving me

Scarlett Johansson:

Liar*

Love Quinn:

Say it*

Pretty girl*

Yelena Belova:

Relax*

[notanactressyayy]

Podrías hacerme este pedido: qué pasa con ella? Con Natasha, tu novia. Luego del Blip, se la paso distante -sin esa dulzura que mostraba contigo- o simplemente sin cumplir su papel de novia. Se la pasaba en su oficina, con la mirada perdida y en sus pensamientos - nunca te hablo de eso.

Podrías agregar que cambió cosas en su rutina, como por ej: antes la escuchabas en llamadas con los restantes vengadores, pero eso ya no pasa o la extrañas en tus sábanas - ahora se la pasa despierta.

Por último, el complejo, el cual previamente llamaron hogar y dónde intercambiaban risas o amor mutuo, paso a ser un espacio silencioso, tal vez sombrío, sin amor.

༉‧₊˚. 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲

pairing . Natasha Romanoff x reader

summary . when Natasha met you, you brought the side of her she didn't know before — the happy, gentle, soft side. when something major happens, will she continue to be the girlfriend you deserve? will she allow her feelings and past to take you away from her?

warnings . the blip events, brief descriptions of Nat's past, cursing, yelling, breaking down, breaking up (?), angst.

notes . english is not my first language (🇧🇷) so i apologize for any spelling errors. this fic here is for my big sister @scarjosii22 who couldn't finish her story and asked me to do it for her.

divider credits: @sister-lucifer @i-mmaculatus

part two: loving you from afar (somewhere)

it was another day in which you stared at yourself in the mirror, after brushing your teeth, showering and braiding your hair before sleep — something she used to do. yeah, the dark circles under your eyes certainly grew bigger, that was for sure. a tsk comes out of your lips as you walk out of the bathroom, the only sound echoing through the pavement being your heavy steps.

perhaps you did it on purpose. a little sound was certainly missing in that place.

it had been five years, five years since she started blaming herself for not managing to stop Thanos — Natasha Romanoff, the only one with no superpowers, that had to rely only on her weapons and strength, blamed herself. you tried to talk to her about this, you had multiple conversations, and yet they seemed pointless. that woman was so goddamn stubborn, and never listened to you.

at some point, you'd certainly grow tired of that. and that point had co—

no, it didn't. you told yourself everyday you'd never give up on your relationship. you tried to remember the reason you fell in love with her over and over, to see if that would keep you grounded.

she protected me, she saved me, she showed me i could trust her, she showed me i was enough for her.

it was what she used to tell you, everyday, basically. when you got insecure, about the fact she was powerful and good at so many things, she reassured you you were the best thing that has ever happened to her. that you were the one that saved her. the light on her life.

maybe's just the fact that Natasha never had a relationship before you, so she didn't really know how it was to love and be loved back, or... she just didn't have any experience. but she did. she's a spy, and if there was an Avenger that knew about feelings it was her. you knew for a fact she was aware of how neglected you were becoming in your relationship, but for some reason she chose not to do anything about it.

you walked past the main gate — unfortunately, you had to pass through her office to get to your room — to see her eyes focused on the screen computer. again. watching the faces of the people who disappeared with the blip. you shook your head, sighing in frustration and pulling the computer's wire out of the socket. Natasha frowned, and the words that came out of her mouth cut deep.

"what's wrong with you!?"

"what's wrong with me?" you scoff back. "you're treating me as if i were some stranger, Natasha. i'm your partner. do you recall that?"

she completely ignores everything you say and narrow her eyes at you. she abruptly stands up from her chair and towers you. "i'm working. can't you fucking see that?"

your eyes widen in surprise and honestly, annoyance. it wasn't the first time you confronted her on the week and it wasn't gonna be the last either. "you saw those goddamn slides for a thousand times already, and literally! do you think staring at them will bring them back? keep dreaming, then,"

that statement intrigued her. she took a step back, wrapping her arms around herself, gulping audibly. her only answer was to turn the computer on again and turn her back on you.

"good night, Natasha." you tell her, not realizing the one tear rolling down your face. "i'm going to sleep now."

and with that, you took the elevator to the dormitories floor and entered your shared room with her, practically throwing your slippers away and tucking yourself under the covers, the cold, empty sheets.

you missed her there. god, you did. your body subconsciously snuggled up against the blanket as you grabbed the pillow that once belonged to to her, and held it tightly. and you just, cried.

༉‧₊˚. ★

Natasha didn't sleep, those weren't news. she stayed the night on the sofa of her office, staring at the big glass window there. the colour pallette of the garden outside reminded her of herself. dark green, grey, navy blue, and black. the nature was already dead because no one bothered to go outside and take care of the plants.

she couldn't brush away the thought of the similarity between that and your situation with her. you were drowning, and she wasn't even trying to pull you out.

the compound was empty. no more jokes. no more laughter. no more the Avengers and certainly no more Natasha. the russian woman thought of that as a punishment for her uselessness. she was purposefully dragging herself away from you, so with that you'd probably find another partner, someone else who wasn't broken like her, that could give you the love you so desperately needed. or, a tiny, tiny piece of her wanted someone to suffer like her, to feel everything she felt. but that wasn't something she was going to admit. was it?

so she just laid back against the backrest and stared at the ceiling, trying to calm down her racing thoughts but failing.

some of the superheroes tried to get in touch with her by the communication channels, but she wasn't accepting the calls. she'd given up on leading the Avengers. it wasn't her job anyway.

her best friend, Clint, was out there killing people like she once did. Steve had a support group for the people who didn't snap, but she thought it was bullshit to join. so she lived within the four walls of the office, trapped, unable to get out.

༉‧₊˚. ★

the saliva you swallowed dragged across your sore throat, making you hiss out of pain. this morning, you were trying— no, you were determined to give yourself a good time, regardless of that sounding insane on the current circumstances. a girlfriend who didn't love you anymore and half of the world gone? what a great way of living.

you searched inside the pantry for the strawberry tea and made yourself a cup, heating it on the microwave. you leaned against the counter and waited for it to get ready. while waiting, you took a moment to glance around. you smiled when your eyes landed on a specific plushie resting on a corner. a turtle plushie you and Natasha used to take care of together.

when the microwave clicked, you grabbed the tea and took a sip of it, the strawberry flavor, along of the warmth of it were a momentary relief, for all the mess going on there. speaking of mess, it was the definition of the person who had just walked in the kitchen.

"good morning, Nat," you murmur, attempting to be friendly. "i made myself some tea. would you like so—"

"just here to get some aspirin." she quickly, roughly cuts you off, opening the cabinet and searching through it. instead of taking one, she opened the bottle and turned it on her mouth, taking all the pills at once.

your eyes widened. what the hell was she doing? trying to dope herself and not even hiding? your feet moved faster than you as you grabbed her chin with one hand, as your other one practically punched her on the back, making her cough all the pills out.

instead of speaking, you take a moment to process what just happened. you frustratedly run your fingers through your hair, pacing around the kitchen. "look. if you don't want to have a good day, that's fine by me. but if you're not giving me a good day, at least allow me to have it myself. please?"

"i'm minding my business," she coughs out, dull eyes looking into yours. "you don't have to get in my way."

"you literally almost killed yourself in front of me!" you snap, a sudden rush of anger washing over you. "what the fuck do you expect me to do in a situation like that, huh? do you want me to sit here and enjoy the freaking view, to watch you as you slip away from me!?''

Natasha's body involuntarily shake as you yell. she didn't like yelling. it was what triggered the tears pooling on the corners of her eyes.

"tell me, Natasha. what do i have to do for Thanos to snap me away too!?" you scoff and throw the porcelain cup on the skin, the sound of the shards shattering filling the place. "because i really wish i disappeared too. would you like that?"

you breath heavily after the outburst, eyes watching as her body sunk down to the floor. her eyes were wide in fear and shock. it wasn't a pleasant view. you gulp and walk towards her. "i'm sorr—"

"get away!" she yells back, stumbling backwards as if you were some monster. "leave me fucking alone!"

"Natasha, i don't wanna hurt you—" you try again, frowning and trying to reach out for her.

loud sobs escapes the redhead, and she doesn't try to suppress them. she body is a mess autopilot working and everything is way too confusing for you to understand. she buries her face in her hands and refuses your comfort. so you sit on the floor as well, leaning against the cold wall but keeping a good distance between you two — hearing her cries.

༉‧₊˚. ★

the tension was palpable between the two of you. you were way too tired to have another pointless conversation with her, so you stayed quiet. it was already night again, 6pm precisely, and neither of you had left the kitchen. when you looked to the side, you saw Natasha's eyes still open. she was still listening.

"i'm still here," you begin, lifting your hand up and staring at the ring on your finger. "loving you silently."

Natasha's eyes barely flicker with the sound of your gentle voice. but she stays quiet.

"i still imagine myself getting hugged by you. having your kisses. having your body close. having you close. i miss all of that. i miss when you listened to me," you chuckle humorlessly, grabbing a shard of porcelain and fidgeting with it. "i miss my Natasha."

"stop," she quietly pleads, squeezing her eyes shut. "please stop."

"you're so selfish. you became so selfish." you sigh, weakly standing up. you open the sink faucet and throw a little bit of fresh water on your face. "trying to protect yourself, trying not to face the truth. you don't even think about me anymore."

when she doesn't speak, you continue.

"i could help. i helped you before, didn't i? i helped you with everything you ever asked me for. i helped here, your team, because i'm good at what i do. that's why Tony hired me. because i was good for all of you. i got a room in the Avengers Compound. but this?" you gesture around. you raise your voice again, but not yelling — just as if you wanted somewhere to hear. "this seems like a haunted house! where's all the people in here!?"

Natasha stands up, her red baggy eyes looking into yours as she pointed a finger at you. "it's not gonna change. there's no point in trying to."

"really? you don't say," you laugh dryly and shrug your shoulders. "i realized that a long time ago."

you take a deep breath, shaking your head. you had no tears left to cry, really. you shed so much for her, and for everything around you. the next thing you did surprised Natasha — but not as much as she thought it would.

you carefully slip the ring out of your finger and placed it on her hand, folding her fingers around it. your lips pressed on a thin line. "i love you, Natasha. i always will."

she clears her throat, feeling her eyes begin to burn again.

"when you become the Natasha i love again, please let me know."

part two: loving you from afar (somewhere)

(aí está, @scarjosii22. espero que você goste dessa, e espero que você pegue as referências do chá, e da tartaruga 🐢🍓)

[nr1chaedickrider]

i've been thinking of subby gp momo lately ☹️

she'd be so cute!!! super whiny and needy, just begging to ruin ur cunt :(((

its time i answer this omg bruh i love your thoughts

"fuck please just-" momo moans next to your ear.

your hand grips her cock as you move your hand up and down, painfully slow.

"please what baby? use your words" you tease, smirking at her attempts to fuck your hand.

"please let me fuck you.. i wanna hear you moan for me. i wanna ruin you so fucking bad-" she whimpers, her cock twitching.

"how can i say no to that, hm?" you answer, your hand leaving her cock, just to replace it with your cunt.

[scar-lie]

THE TEST [ELIZABETH]

Summary : You and your best friend Elizabeth have in the after party and one thing lead to another

Pairing : Elizabeth Olsen x Fem! Reader

Warning : Pregnancy, Smut, Elizabeth has penis, angst, overthinking

Word Count : 1,602

No one has permission to repost my work anywhere, if you see it please let me know.

DM me for info/Commission | COMMI MASTERLIST

two lines, it's two lines

It happened so fast; it's like it happened yesterday; it's still fresh in my mind and body, like her touches and whispers are already printed in my mind and my body.

How her touches and kisses burn my skin, her delicate fingers running across my body, her hot breath that whispers in my ear pleasurably, and her soft but firm trust—I could still feel it.

—

“LIZZZZZZ!! ” I shouted excitedly when I saw the brunette with mesmerizing deep green eyes a few feet away from me.

“Y/N/N, Oh my gosh, I missed you.” Lizzie quickly took me on her arm and hugged me tightly. This is the first time we have seen each other for over 5 months because we are both in different countries.

And I expected her to be on the red carpet, but I had no chance of finding her, but at least now I saw her here at the afterparty.

“I missed you so much. Come on, let’s go over there and spill every tea you got,” Lizzie said with a teasing tone and winked at me, then dragged me to the bar while giggling.

We spend our whole night in the bar, sitting there chit-chatting like there’s no tomorrow, and of course, the longer we spill our own teas, the more we’re ordering different drinks, which means we ended up drunk and slurring our own words.

“You know what fun to do? ” Lizzie asked me while wiggling her eyebrows at me, so I got curious.

“Ooohhh, what did you have in mind, Miss Gorgeous? ” You play along, leaning closer to her face; she smiles devilishly, then just takes my wrist and starts to drag me somewhere I don’t know, but we're definitely sure we’re stumbling on our way.

Until she pushed me and kissed me passionately, closing the door and starting to touch my body, and I couldn’t help but kiss her back hungrily, hooking my arms on her neck, and let her guide our bodies until the back of my leg collided with the bed and we stumbled down.

“Having fun? "She whispered while kissing me. I nodded and moaned in agreement while her hands started to discard my clothes one by one, followed by her own, until we were both naked on the bed.

"Please, Liz, I want you. I-I love you, please.” I pleaded while my hand gripped her hair, moaning at the pleasure of her hand pumping inside me and stretching me open for her and her kisses on my neck, chest, and breast.

“As you wish, my lady," she whispers in her ear while biting it, then flips me over, making me position in all fours, ass up and face down on the mattress.

“That’s more like it, sweet girl," Lizzie whispered again while running her long fingers down my spine, making me shudder and taking me by surprise when she started to push slowly.

“Oohhhh, ye-yes!! Fuck,” I moan. When she started to push in, I could feel everything: how big and girthy she is and her veins in her cock. It made me lose my mind.

“Fuck this tight pussy; you’re sucking me in,” she whispers, and I grip the sheet and bite down on the pillow while moaning.

“Oh god, please, please, please,” she gives you a soft trust, laying her half weight on top of you while kissing your shoulder and back neck.

“You feel so good, fuck.” I look back and look her in the eyes. I don’t know what she sees, but once we lock eyes, she kisses her hungrily, and her soft trust makes it more firm, hitting deeper than before and reaching the spot where I go wild and that I didn’t know I had one.

“That’s the spot, yeah, oh, fucking cum baby, I love you so much.” I moan when I hear her words; it makes me feel happy and it brings more arousal in me; it’s like something erupts inside me, and I cum around her cock.

—

“Y/N? Are you in here? ” I snapped out of my headspace when I heard my name being called, and after that, the bathroom door of my room opened, revealing Lizzie in her comfy clothes.

“He-hey wh-hat are you doing here? ” I try to cover up my nervousness and smile at her.

“I came by to ask if you wanted to go out to the cinema with me. "She then leans her right hip on your sink, which makes your heart stop, remembering that the PT is lying there exposed.

“And since you didn’t reply to any of my calls, I decided to use the key. Wait, what is... Oh, my god? "Her happy dementor quickly changed into a shock and unreadable one when she saw the positive pregnancy test. It made my blood run cold.

“I-is that a positive pregnancy test? "She asks in a monotone, pointing in the PT and looking at me. I bite my lips while the unshred tears start to form, and I nod.

"Yeah," I whisper, looking down, not wanting to see her reaction.

“Is it mine? ” I could feel her eyes burning on me, and all I could do was nod.

After that night, when we woke up on each other’s naked bodies, we tried not to panic and solve it like mature adults, so we did. We talked about it and decided to keep it between us, and well, we confessed our feelings to each other and decided to take it easy and slow.

So that’s what we’ve been doing for the past two months. We would go out once in a while, have a movie night, cook together, and surprise one another. It’s all perfect.

“No. no no no, no it’s not mine; I don’t even want one, ok, so it’s impossible; it’s mine; I am careful, ok?” she shouted at me, running her hand through her hair. All I could do is close my eyes while my tears ran down my cheeks.

"You're the only one I've been with for the past nine months. If you don’t want it, go and leave, but I’m not going to kill them whether you like it or not.” She keeps whispering and chanting that she doesn’t want one, so I just shook my head, my own heart breaking at the thought of us being separated when our relationship is barely starting.

"No, no, may-maybe it’s a mistake. Come on, let’s go see a doctor.” I want to argue with her, shout at her, and throw her out of my house, but I don’t have the strength to do that, so I just let her take me to the doctor with the pregnancy test, and the doctor did check if I was pregnant.

“Ok uhm….Ms. Y/L/N and Ms. Olsen, the pregnancy test that you do is expired, which means that the result that it gives you is false. We run a blood and urine sample test to make sure, and it all comes back negative. ” Once I heard that, I froze. I really want to have one, but I guess we both want it differently because I can see in her eyes how relieved and happy she is.

“Thank you so much, Dr. Knight.” On the way to the car and our way back to my house, I’m just sitting there, looking out on the window silently, and I guess she senses something’s wrong because before we got home, she parked the car to the side.

She turned around and took my hand, caressing my knuckles and kissing my hand to get my attention.

“Hey, talk to me,” she whispered, leaning in and making me turn my head to look at her.

“What’s the problem? Is it me? The way I reacted earlier? ” I close my eyes and push my head away from her hand. I’m not mad at her because she doesn’t want to have one, but the fact that she thinks that I let other people touch me while we’re starting to build a relationship is what hurts the most.

“I’m sorry for what I did or the way I reacted earlier," she sighs, then kisses my head and runs her fingers through my hair.

“I don’t want kids; yes, I don’t want one at the moment or in the future. I-I don’t know, but all I know is that I don’t want one, so when I heard that it’s mine, I freaked out, and I know that’s not a valid reason. I know, and I’m sorry.” She then kissed the back of my hand.

“I don’t want to cut off what’s going on between us. I like you-a lot, and I want to explore the world with you. I-I want to be with you. I love you,” she whispers, and I look down and back to her eyes.

“It’s not about you not wanting a kid; I respect your decision; it’s just how easily you think of me whoring myself out there that I got pregnant by someone else while we’re starting something,” I say calmly, looking at our hands that’s bound together.

“I’m sorry. I promise that I will address my issue and talk it out with you like a mature adult. I’m sorry, baby; that’s not my intention. I’m so sorry.” I smile, nodding, and lean on her arms.

“Don’t do that again,” I whisper, burying my head in her neck. She then took me on her arm, hugging me.

“I won’t, I promise.” I smile and let the warm embrace enlighten my body.

[nutonmydraco]

✶ 𝗠𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧. . . 📜 .ᐟ

📂 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ━━ includes: matt sturniolo, chris sturniolo, and more. . .

🪞fluff / ����🏻 smut / 🧷 angst / 🐇 a wattpad original

𝗝𝗨𝗦𝗧 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗠𝗢𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗦 ‧₊˚ 🎞️ | short series

🎟️ ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ━━ in which i write a few short series based on iconic romance and rom-com movies we all know and love <3

i. the proposal ✷ matt sturniolo x fem!reader

y/n is an executive editor for a book company in manhattan, new york. while she may be a powerful woman, many of her workers despise her. when y/n learns that she’s going to face deportation and has to return to canada, she does the unthinkable. she lies through her teeth and reveals to her boss that she’s getting married to her assistant, matt sturniolo.

🪞 / 🧷 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ━━ coming soon in theatres.

ii. 10 things i hate about you ✷ chris sturniolo x fem!reader

on the first day of school, finn instantly falls for the most popular girl in school; cassie. his plan to ask cassie out is destroyed when he learns that she’s forbidden to date until her ill-tempered, hates-all-men, un-dateable older sister, y/n, does. desperate, finn finds a possible match all over the school for y/n until he comes across the perfect one—the ‘bad boy’ with a bad reputation, chris sturniolo.

🪞 / 🧚🏻 / 🧷 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ━━ coming soon in theatres.

iii. to all the boys i’ve loved before ✷ conrad fisher x fem!reader

five times. that’s how many times y/n has fallen in love and for each guy, she’s written a love letter that she keeps hidden in an old box. the letters remain a secret until y/n’s little sister sent all five letters to each guy it was addressed to. y/n was unaware of it until conrad fisher walked up to her one day, the folded paper in his hand. in an attempt to get his ex-girlfriend back, conrad proposes an idea that they should date. well, pretend to.

🪞 / 🧷 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ━━ coming soon in theatres.

iv. roman holiday ✷ matt sturniolo x fem!reader

it’s 1953 and princess y/n has arrived in rome, italy. overwhelmed by her suffocating schedule, princess y/n escapes from the palace in the middle of the night and into the cobblestoned streets of rome. lost and frightened, she runs into an american freelance journalist, matt sturniolo, who shows her what it’s like to live a normal life.

🪞 / 🧷 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ━━ coming soon in theatres.

v. the parent trap ✷ harry styles x fem!reader

divorced parents. two daughters—twins. after meeting at summer camp, anya and juliette devise a plan to switch identities to give each other a chance to spend time with the parent they’ve missed. if their scheme goes well, they have a chance to bring their mom, y/n, and dad, harry, back together and become a family again.

🪞 / 🧷 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ━━ coming soon in theatres.

+ more. . . <3 soon.

𝗗𝗜𝗘𝗧 𝗣𝗘𝗣𝗦𝗜 ‧₊˚ ⛪️ | one shots

🪽₊˚⊹ ━━ in which i write one shots for you! my inbox is open, so if you want to leave a request, feel free to let me know!

NOTE . . . .ᐟ requests that include certain kinks (e.g., piss kink), incest, anal, threesomes, and any other topics i find uncomfortable will be ignored.

i. little black dress ✷ chris sturniolo x fem!reader

❛❛ i wanna see the way you move for me, baby. . . ❞

in an attempt to move on from a brutal breakup with her piece-of-shit boyfriend, y/n gets dolled up for a frat party her friend had begged her to come to. hoping to just forget about it all by getting wasted, y/n is taken by surprise when she meets a frat boy, chris sturniolo, who had his eyes on her and her little black dress from the moment she walked in.

🧚🏻 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ━━ coming soon.

one night stand, fratboy!chris, nsfw

ii. only angel ✷ harry styles x fem!reader

❛❛ it turns out she’s a devil in between the sheets. . . ❞

famous popstar, harry styles, is performing at the 2017 victoria’s secret fashion show and he’s more ready than ever. while performing ‘only angel’, harry is captivated when an angel herself, y/n, steps out to walk down the runway. after the show, harry takes it upon himself to ask if he could take her out for dinner—only to end up stumbling into harry’s hotel room to do more french kissing than talking.

🧚🏻 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ━━ coming soon.

famous!harry, model!y/n, nsfw

iii. juno ✷ chris sturniolo x fem!reader

❛❛ give me more than just some butterflies. . . ❞

rumors have been going around that famous popstar, y/n, and nfl player, chris sturniolo, are dating after months of being spotted together by fans and paparazzis. attending y/n’s show for the first time, chris is taken by surprise by the ‘freaky position’ she does on stage, all while looking at him. of course, fans go insane.

🪞⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ━━ coming soon.

singer!y/n, nflplayer!chris, fluff

iv. i can see you ✷ matt sturniolo x fem!reader

❛❛ and i could see you up against the wall with me. . . ❞

y/n has been thinking about this guy in her english class—his hair, his face, his glasses. they’ve never spoken before, but y/n can’t help but develop feelings for him. maybe it’s the way he talks, or walks, or maybe it’s just his face. y/n finally gets the courage to talk to him, lying that she needs help with an assignment but he sees right through her. the only problem is that he’s her professor.

🧚🏻 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ━━ coming soon.

professor!matt, student!y/n, older!matt, both are consenting adults, y/n is 21+, nsfw

+ more. . . <3 soon.

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗔𝗟𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗠𝗬 ‧₊˚ 📰 | series

☁ ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ━━ in which i write multiple series filled with angst, fluff, and smut!

i. don’t blame me ✷ chris sturniolo x fem!reader

❛❛ lord, save me, my drug is my baby. . . ❞

y/n has had a secret admirer for months. every morning is the same thing—a note falls out from her locker, talking about her smile, her beauty, her everything. she throws each note away, and never thinks about it again. after being partnered up with chris, the quiet boy, in chemistry class, she forms a genuine bond with him. things begin to change when boys she has ever dated and her enemies were found in the woods, lifeless.

🧷 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ━━ coming soon.

obsessed!chris, killer!chris, quiet!chris, nsfw, angst, thriller

ii. sweet relief ✷ matt sturniolo x fem!reader

❛❛ it’s just something only we know. . . ❞

y/n has despised her brother’s best friend for years, but no one seems to know why. every time matt comes over to their house, y/n’s mood turns sour. growing tired of it, her brother, jax, forces y/n and matt to spend time together by leaving them at their family’s beach house. with no choice, the two spend the night together, learning to get along. as unexpected feelings surface, both agree to keep their new understanding a secret from jax—for now.

🪞 / 🧚🏻 / 🧷 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ━━ coming soon.

brother’s best friend, enemies to lovers, nsfw, angst

+ more. . . <3 soon.

𝗦𝗟𝗜𝗣𝗙𝗔𝗦𝗧 ‧₊˚ 🩹 | fics

⛓️‍💥 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ━━ in which i incorporate my wattpad fics on tumblr and continue them <3 and also make new fics with designated names for oc’s instead of ‘y/n’ !

i. fool’s gold ✷ chris sturniolo x fem!oc

❛❛ i know your love’s not real. . . ❞

bianca sinclair is the new girl in somerville high school. this being her senior year, she vows to not let boys distract her. that is until she meets chris sturniolo, the football player who’s known for also being a player outside of the field. things take a turn when bianca is asked to tutor chris in spanish and they spend more time together outside of school. in attempt to make his ex-girlfriend jealous and hide the fact that he has a tutor, he asks bianca the unthinkable—for her to be his fake girlfriend.

🪞 / 🧷 / 🐇 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ━━ coming soon.

fake dating, footballplayer!chris, madison beer fc

ii. the great war ✷ matt sturniolo x fem!oc

❛❛ my hand was the one you reached for. . . ❞

ellsworth, maine became a silent town days after the sturniolo brothers moved in across the street from adelaide westwood. adelaide can’t help but become more curious about the enigmatic boy who smoked more than he talked, matt sturniolo. fear hovers over the town when a series of murder is reported, and she suspects that matt is the killer. surely, he’s hiding something, right? adelaide makes it her mission to unravel the truth matt seems to be secretive about, that is if he is hiding anything at all, before the whole town drowns in a bloodbath. or worse, before she’s next.

🧷 / 🐇 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ━━ coming soon.

thriller, biker!matt, cindy kimberly fc

© . . . all rights reserved. no part of this publication is allowed to be reproduced or copied. i put a lot of my time, effort, and energy into making all of these possible and the last thing i want is for someone to take my hard work, copy it, and claim it as theirs. in other words, plagiarism isn't tolerated.

💌 below are clickable tags i’ve included to make it easier for you to navigate through my page when i start posting more!

ᥫ᭡.

gian <3

[abbyromanoff]

i have an idea/request!

could be series worthy, who knows

but basically, if you’ve watched purple hearts on netflix, i’m kind of thinking about type of storyline where g!p nat is (kind of) in luke’s position and y/n in cassie’s position (both of the character’s backstory can be changed) but yk, i was just thinking about military!natty and how hot she would look wearing a military uniform 😋

HEART TO HEART

PAIRINGS: Natasha Romanoff x reader

WORD COUNT: 2168

WARNINGS: angst, small smut near the end, fluff, Nat is in the military, mentions of death, arranged marriage, money problems, miscommunications, think that’s all!

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN!!

“Look, I don’t understand why you care so much, we both knew this day would come and besides, this was supposed to be an arranged marriage, we aren’t meant to actually fall in love.” Nat argued, turning to look at your saddened state with guilt hidden in her features. The two of you had only known each other for a few months after you had gotten married. Neither of you had wanted to, but your parents made sure that you both knew it was needed.

She was going into the military, a dream of hers since she was a little girl watching action movies with her dad. She had been struggling with finances for years, and so was her family. And in hopes of caring for both herself and her loved ones, she needed the benefits of joining the army, but that was only achievable with marriage.

You had come from a well-financed family, but that didn’t mean they were willing to hand you money whenever you asked. While trying to reach your goal of becoming a singer and songwriter, it had cost you loads of checks with no return. You were barely making it by every week with your part-time job and needed money quickly. Your parents offered a suggestion, and at first, you thought it may be a good idea, that was until now.

It would be a platonic marriage and once it was no longer needed, you’d depart with a divorce signing, a possibility of remaining friends or forgetting each other’s existence. But it didn’t go as planned, you felt wrong for trying to go on dates or sleep with others, and you’d dream of your wife on the regular. It wasn’t hard to fall for her, she was a respectful woman with dreams of meeting another similar to her and becoming a family man. Not to mention her beauty was beyond imaginable, you were star-struck the moment you laid eyes on her.

“You think I don’t know that, Nat? Do you think I wanted this? To fall in love with you when I’m not supposed to even sleep in the same bed as you?” While the suit she wore made her look even more attractive, it only pained you to know she’d be wearing that as she left to risk her life for the ones who didn’t even know of her name.

“I can’t help how I feel, Natasha. I know this is your dream and I love that for you, I do. But, I- I just don’t want to lose you, I don’t think I could handle it.” She sighed and averted her eyes to the wooden floor, quiet sniffles being heard from your end. You suddenly felt arms being wrapped around your body in an attempt at a hug and you graciously accepted it, knowing whose warmth it was.

“It’s okay, I’m here.” She whispered into your shoulder as her hat poked your head. Truth be told, you weren’t the only one feeling this way. She had tried hiding it in hopes you wouldn’t pick up on it, and you didn’t, you were too busy worrying about your own feelings that you hadn’t even considered hers.

She was hoping that this marriage wouldn’t have to end or else she’d have to learn to live without you again. She hadn’t feared the thought of death before you came into her life, now she feared losing you more than anything.

“I’m sorry-”

“No, no, don’t apologize, Y/N. I understand, okay? I’m not mad at you, I could never be.” She interrupted, mumbling her sweet words into your neck. She was able to catch a small whiff of your perfume, and she could suddenly remember the time you begged her to take you to the store and help you pick out a new fragrance. After nearly an hour of searching, she chose this one, and you had worn it every day since.

“I don’t think I’d be able to handle hearing that you…that you died without getting to tell you how I truly feel.” She nodded, letting you continue on. Her heart felt like it was ripping when you stuttered over your words, your weakness on display. You were never one to show it, but you couldn’t stop the shake in your voice or the tears on your cheeks.

“I know, baby, I know.” The name brought a small crack of a smile to your lips, but it soon faded when you were brought back to the remembrance of where you were. She was set to leave in less than an hour, and you didn’t know if this would be your last hour with her.

“I- I need to go, I’m going to be late if I don’t leave.” You quickly rushed to tighten your hands around her when feeling hers start to loosen.

“No, no, no, please. Please don’t leave me here, Natty.” She wanted more than nothing to listen to you and stay, but her hopes and dreams were coming into play and so were the lives of many, she couldn’t ruin this opportunity.

“I have to, Y/N, I don’t have a choice.” You understood, you did, but your heart and mind were at a battle. Your mind was telling you to force her to stay, live your life happily and tell her how you feel, but your heart was telling you to let her go, that you were being selfish trying to ruin her dreams when she only supported yours. You always told her to follow her heart, and you knew you had to take your own advice.

“I know, I know you don’t. God, I- I’m sorry, I just- I don’t think I can see my life without you now. All I see when I look into the future is you, and I don’t want to lose you, I can’t. I really can’t, Nat.” She wanted to tell you everything, that she felt the same, but there was no time. If she didn’t leave she’d risk everything, she’d risk her job that she went through so much mental and physical pain to have.

“I love you, lyubov moya. (my love)” That was the last time you heard her voice in what felt like years. You weren’t able to handle the pain of living in the house that carried so many memories in it, so you made the tough decision to move out. The house was still in her name, and you continued to pay for as many bills as it required, even while still struggling to pay for your own.

It took eight months and twenty-six days before Nat was able to return, she counted each day. You were on her mind the entire time. When she had gotten badly hurt on a mission, the unbearable pain causing her to wish for death, she thought of you. She thought of everything you had together, how she wouldn’t be able to confess if she didn’t make it.

At the same time, she worried you moved on, found someone new and started a life with them that she would only be able to dream of having. Would you be able to move on this quickly? She knew that if you truly did love her as much as you said, you wouldn’t be able to, and she didn’t want you to. But another part of her wished you would, she wanted you to find peace and happiness, and she feared she wouldn’t be able to give you that.

Every day that she could, she’d write you letters. She wasn’t able to call or text you as she was told, so she’d pick up a pen and write paragraphs on end about how much she missed you. She could only hope you read or even received them.

She came home today, and hearing the complete silence in her home brought tears of anguish. All she wanted was to be greeted by you, but she was guessing you had left her, maybe even for good. There was a pile of sealed letters on the doorstep and she realized they were the ones she sent without knowing of your new address. She felt ashamed, embarrassed to have sent all of those with the thought that you’d read them and realize she still thought of you every damn day. But you didn’t know, you were left clueless to her love. She needed to change that.

You heard a knock on your apartment door as you finished brushing your teeth and were about to grab a glass of water. You furrowed your brows in confusion before slowly walking to the door, you never had guests, especially at this hour. You looked through the peephole and stepped back at what you saw, or who you saw.

Nat heard a rushing of locks unlocking and smiled to herself, you knew she was home. You opened the door and hurriedly let your arms wrap around her in a hug, finally feeling her warm embrace after so long. The emptiness in your heart was slowly being filled the longer you held onto her.

“Hello, detka. (baby)” Her eyelids squeezed shut as her arms held the same tightness around your body as yours did to her, she was too afraid to let you go.

“When did you get home?” She finally leaned back, resting her forehead against yours gently as her hand moved to cup your cheek.

“Just a few hours ago, you were the first person I wanted to see.” You smiled before your eyes drifted to notice the cardboard box sitting on the ground next to her. She looked in that direction and chuckled to herself before explaining.

“I wrote to you every day that I could. I didn’t know you moved so I sent them to the house, I thought I’d bring them in case you, I don’t know, wanted to look at them or something.” She hesitantly spoke, fear of rejection scorching through her. She didn’t know why she was so afraid, it was you, after all, and she didn’t fear anything when she was with you.

“Oh, Nat, I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry.” She shushed you and moved her other hand to your face, cupping both of your cheeks and having you look at her.

“Shh, don’t apologize, I’m not upset with you. If anything, I’m more upset with myself.”

“You did nothing wrong, nothing at all.” She looked down suddenly, shuffling her feet nervously.

“I’m sorry for leaving that day. I wanted to stay, I wanted to tell you everything, and I wish I did. That’s why I wrote all these letters in hope that you’d realize I feel the same. I love you, Y/N. I love you more than anything in this world, and I think I always have.” She was swapping her gaze between your eyes and lips, and you knew that if you didn’t make the move, she never would. So, you leaned in closer, letting your mouth press into hers as you sank into the feeling of her plump lips. You were standing on your tiptoes to reach her height, and you reached up to pull her hat off of her head, letting your fingers run through her hair as you pulled her further into you. Her body pressed against yours as she grinned into the kiss, her tongue poking your lips and exploring your mouth when you granted her access. She was desperate to feel you in any way that you’d let her, and you were on the exact same page.

“I love you so much, Y/N, and every day I regret not telling you that sooner. So, if you’ll let me, I want to make it up to you.” She mumbled when you pulled back to catch your breath. You panted, your chest rising up and down as you admired her in full glory. You weren’t able to take notice of her clothing when you were too busy registering that she was actually here and it wasn't just a dream. But seeing her in the camo pants adorned by a buckled belt and a dark green shirt made you feel things you’ve never felt before she came into your life.

Her hands found their way to the back of your thighs as she lifted you into her hold, your wandering hands stopping at the biceps that flexed under her shirt. You could feel a small tint in her pants and bit your lip as you shuttered. Your hands traveled to the back of her neck as you played with the baby hairs, feeling goosebumps rise to the surface of her soft skin.

“May I?” She walked further into your cheap apartment, and you suddenly felt ashamed at the state of the place. It showed off your struggles in payment, but hidden under that, it showed the reason you were able to meet what you hoped would be the love of your life.

“You may.”

[tonyspank]

GET ME (THE MASTERLIST)

Jenna Ortega x G!P Reader

Summary: Your parents are very successful people despite their difficult beginnings. Bringing a child to the world during high school was not how their lives were supposed to go. However, they chose to take responsibility and provide a better future for you. Now, years later they both are CEO's/Founders of one of the biggest businesses in the country. Having to go on a three month long business trip, your parents leave you with one of their closet friends, Jenna Ortega. As the days go on you find yourself growing closer to Jenna. She understands you in a way your parents never have, and you find solace in her company. You soon come to realize that you have developed feelings for her, but you are unsure how to express them. What happens when Jenna begins to reciprocate your feelings? Are you ready to take the next step in your relationship? How will your parents react to your new found love?

Warnings: includes cheating, smut, age gap, and angst.

authors note: Jenna is not famous in this book! And she's 24...

status - completed.

prologue.

chapter one.

chapter two.

chapter three.

chapter four.

chapter five.

chapter six.

chapter seven.

chapter eight.

epilogue.

drabble one.

[bambieheeseunglee]

Lee Heeseung - "𝑩𝒂𝒅 𝒃𝒐𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕." ❤️🔥

Lee Heeseung - 01 line!

[jensettermandu]

la douleur exquise - kim minji

genre; smut, angst

pairing; g!p minji x female reader

conetent; fingering (reader receiving), some begging, praising, a bit of spanking, slightly rough sex, idk if i missed something

synopsis; minji finally finds the only moment left to tell the simply complicated words to the girl who already knows. she's already told her everything with her eyes, and somehow they are both aware of it all. the beauty of being too early, but also being too late, with no good moment actually existing.

wc; 10.9k+

masterlist

Minji has always had this one problem.

Love.

Not as cliché as it sounds even if it is because she had no problem with loving, it was just with who she fell in love with and how she fell. 

She fell too easily or thought that she was in love only to realise it would all be an infatuation that then passed. It was always the same thing of jumping in with both feet without even checking if she truly liked the waters or just found them mesmerising for the moment and then scurried away after truly feeling them. 

The more she thought about it, she may never really have been in love.

Probably not until now that these waters had left her looking at them for a while longer instead of jumping in right away. They had left her wanting to feel around them, learn them, to know exactly how to be in those waters to not cause any accidents. To not scurry away. To stay in them for long.

The more time passed the more mesmerised she felt and she was quite sure it was what it was. Minji was in love with the wrong waters, ones that had clear warning signs of not wanting anyone to intrude on them because the tide was high and the moment simply wasn’t right.

She just couldn’t help the way the corners of her lips raised as she listened to those calming waves, eyes stuck on the glimmering of them. It was more than just mesmerising. It was like a vacation that she never wanted to leave because she would never find waters as beautiful and as good to swim in again.

It was quite obvious and she knew that Y/n had probably figured it out because the girl didn’t let her say those three words. Every time she had tried tonight, Y/n diverted the conversation to something different right away. It was fine because she could wait and she would wait until she would have the chance to say them. 

It was selfish.

Not only selfish but scary.  

It had been three months since they started to see each other. 

They’ve been going with this routine for three months now.

They would see each other on mostly Thursdays, and Saturdays, at times Tuesdays too. Those were usually days when Y/n was free and Minji always made sure to be free on those days just to see Y/n. Otherwise, she had no other way of seeing her. 

They didn’t go to the same college.

They didn’t see each other just to hang out. 

They were only attached for one reason. 

So with that, she took every chance she had to meet the girl she was supposed to be in bed with with no strings attached. 

It was fine. She was sure that it was fine that she was in love because whenever she looked at Y/n she was sure the girl was in love too. Minji could see her reflection always glimmer in Y/n’s eyes. The girl was just scared and Minji would wait until she no longer would be, but time was running out and she knew that she couldn’t wait any longer and had to say the truth to Y/n. 

She knew where she had gone wrong.

It was the usual place as they sat at the diner to eat before they headed back to Minji’s apartment that she shared with her flatmate. Her place was closer. Or maybe Y/n just didn’t want to take Minji home. Either was fine as long as she spent the night with her. 

They would sit and talk about everything and nothing, things that weren’t supposed to hold meaning to them because their relationship held no meaning to it. Yet Minji found meaning in the nothingness that was everything to her because she cared about Y/n’s day. She cared about what the girl had planned even if she wasn’t part of it. She cared about these things and always listened attentively even if Y/n maybe didn’t do the same or find the same meaning in meaningless conversations between them. 

Y/n would always eat pancakes, those fluffy ones with fruit and it seemed like a perfect meal despite it not being breakfast. It was perfect because Minji liked the way Y/n enjoyed them or maybe she would only enjoy them since she would be picky with her food. Minji would take whatever, too busy with listening to the vixen so by the time they would order she’d take the first thing she would lay her eyes on in the menu. 

Tonight she had tried a few times already, to start that conversation that was forbidden. A twitch in her eye every time Y/n managed to turn the conversation around so smoothly. A twitch of adoration at how amazing the girl in front of her was. Unable to get frustrated by it because she got lost in Y/n’s words before she could utter the one she wanted to say.

Each time Minji had insisted on paying and each time Y/n caved in at the end. Two broke students didn’t make one rich, but Minji didn’t mind spending a little more on these days. She’d pay and then they would leave the diner and make the walk through the busy city. Everyone would always be so caught up with themselves, but Minji was too caught up with the girl walking beside her. 

She liked that Y/n let her hold her hand, maybe interlock their fingers at times.

She didn’t like that the girl would always be underdressed by not wearing a jacket because a hoodie was supposed to suffice in windy weather. 

After the first few times, MInji had come up with a solution. 

The older girl made sure to put on a t-shirt, a thick hoodie, and her current jacket which was a simple and slightly oversized dark jean jacket. 

“You will get sick,” Y/n would try to argue when she offered her the jacket that she truly only brought for the girl since she had such thick layers on that she wasn’t even slightly prone to being cold. It was part of the routine now.

“I won’t, here.” She’d put it on her and Y/n would giggle.

“I swear, you’re doing it on purpose.” The vixen would point out while Minji would adjust her cap to try and hide the obviousness of her words that were true. She would try to shrug it off and tease Y/n right back.

“You’re not dressing warm enough purposely so you can borrow my jacket.” 

She would look at how Y/n’s eyes would crinkle when she smiled that bashful smile, wordlessly admitting that she did do it on purpose. It warmed Minji and her warm hand would hold onto Y/n’s colder one, making sure to warm it for her, at times going as far as borrowing the pockets of her hoodie or zip-up. The tips of Y/n’s ears were always rosy with the tip of her nose and cheeks. Unless it wasn’t as cold. She would always make sure to warm her.

The vixen was the same height as her, but her figure was more petite and the jacket would fit her differently than Minji. It would be bigger on her, but she liked the way Y/n looked in her clothes. The younger still had one or two of Minji’s hoodies at her place and Minji never asked for them back. It created a sense of importance to know that Y/n maybe wore her clothes at times, that maybe she would think about her too when she would stumble upon Minji’s hoodie in her closet. The thought that Minji wasn’t the only one thinking about Y/n during her days away from her. 

They would make it to the apartment complex, Minji still holding onto Y/n’s hand while leading the way up the stairs. Their routine never really changed. She wasn’t sure if she liked it or simply didn’t mind it. Well, as long as it was with Y/n. There were a few things that maybe were less enjoyable with the routine now that she knew what she felt for the girl. 

“Is your flatmate home?” The girl would ask almost every time.

“Yeah, but it’s fine, Hanni is busy in her room.” Minji’s friend whom she shared the apartment had come to an agreement with her over what it would look like if they brought someone over. Usually, Hanni wouldn’t be at home or she would spend the evening in her room. Y/n and Minji would be in her room too either way, but it was mostly to avoid any awkward run-ins. 

She wasn’t sure if Y/n would want to be introduced to her friends.

They knew her almost as well as Minji did though but Y/n didn’t know them all too well. 

Minji had maybe talked about Y/n to her friends a little too much for someone who she was seeing with no strings attached. They didn’t know that because she was afraid they would understand what had happened. Scared that they would warn her and tell her to let go before she would get hurt. She didn’t need anyone’s pity, she only needed Y/n. 

Love was scary. 

Was one thing she realised. 

The keys would always clatter and unlocking the door took a few seconds longer than when she got home alone. Y/n was a tease, her kisses on MInji’s neck made her forget how to use the keys, she loved them, they were always so soft and consoling whenever she thought of the consequences of finding comfort in Y/n. 

“Minji…” Y/n dragged out, her hands slowly dragged over the soft and warm skin because her hands often found themselves under the older’s clothes. The vixen had always been more audacious than Minji and she liked that about her, it brought something different to her life that sometimes felt plain for a college student. 

She tried to find her words but never did when Y/n grabbed hold of her hand and Minji’s face turned to the girl who was resting her chin on her shoulder. Y/n looked back at her with a teasing smile. “It’s not as hard as it looks, baby.” She was quite sure that these pet names were something Y/n called everyone, but they still made her flutter with more excitement than they maybe should make her feel. It just felt tender when it came from Y/n and she was more than just MInji, she was someone else with Y/n. She was someone who made her forget, she made Y/n feel better.

The vixen’s grey eyes flickered from the keyhole and to Minji, those brown eyes of the older one always holding that empty yet filled with emotions look. Those eyes were always on her whenever she looked at MInji. It didn’t matter if Y/n was looking somewhere else if they were watching a movie, or if they were walking along the sidewalks, whenever she looked up at Minji, the older one was already looking back at her. 

It was still happening, Y/n broke the gaze for reasons Minji could read as if they were written on a paper right in front of her. She never really read people too well, but she never paid much attention to people as she had to Y/n. Y/n had become see-through glass and the girl was quite sure the younger wasn’t too fond of it. 

There were many things Y/n wasn’t fond of. 

Minji had listened to her troubled confessions and learnt that she was a difficult person yet she so easily fell for her. 

They entered the apartment like they always did, it was silent, and the indication of her flatmate being at home was the shoes that stood by the door. However, her presence wasn’t acknowledged because Minji could only acknowledge Y/n by how blinded she was by her. It didn’t matter since Hanni was in her bedroom either way. 

Like always they removed their shoes and found themselves in Minji’s bedroom which was always chilly before it would steam up and be hot. The girl would remove the jacket by then and discard it on the chair by the desk. 

She watched Y/n who threw her phone on the bed. There had been a little break in their routine tonight. Aside from Minji trying to say those words to Y/n, the girl had been busy with her phone on certain occasions when it was suitable. The vixen saw Minji as a distraction so her phone rarely got taken out, but it did tonight and it had left Minji pulling on the sleeves of her hoodie while wondering if she wanted to know or not.

The look–

“Be back in a second?” Minji hummed at Y/n’s words, watching the girl quietly make it out of her bedroom. 

Minji had learned Y/n's routine by now.

Routine.

That’s what she was, a part of Y/n’s routine.

The girl would quickly disappear into the bathroom for what was two to three minutes while Minji would get the movie ready that they never watched more than 15-20 minutes.

She knew why Y/n always wanted to settle on movies they never watched.

Otherwise, they would have to spend that time thinking and talking.

Talking to each other within the safe confines of a bedroom where things just spilled because there were no other eyes or ears. Minji knew Yn didn’t want that.

Silence without a movie to occupy the mind would leave them both thinking.

Minji would most likely be thinking about Y/n.

And Y/n?

She would be dwelling on what she was trying to escape by seeing Minji.

The vixen had spilled everything to her once already after they got drunk and went back to her place. Naked and within the confines Y/n broke down into a vulnerable mess that Minji did her best to hold together.

She broke the routine tonight as Y/n left for the bathroom and Minji’s curiosity got the best of her. 

The girl removed her cap and hoodie and threw them onto the chair where her jacket was. Her feet led her to her bed and she slumped down on it, grabbing the remote that was lying on the white and fresh sheets she had changed today. The room was dimly lit by the bedside lamp she had forgotten to turn off. 

However, she never found herself turning on the TV that was on the wall in front of her bed that stood in the corner of the room by the window. The blinds were down, and the moon and stars were not allowed to shine their lights on them. The faint buzz of the city was always heard, but with time she grew used to it and it worked as white noise, it let her fall asleep easier. 

The girl glanced at Y/n’s phone screen which lit up again.

She knew that she shouldn’t but she did, Minji did so quickly too because she knew that it was wrong. The girl knew she would feel guilty, and she would feel even worse if Y/n had caught her. She did it quickly and managed to see the name and short text which was enough.

In the same way that waves washed over the shore and dragged everything back with them, the same feeling washed over Minji. It was as if the water filled her lungs, it was a warm feeling of distress and forlornness that dragged her to the bottom of a dark ocean after not being able to grab hold of anything to stop herself from drowning in the current that pulled her. The type that made her breathing heavier and her eyes sting with a warmth that didn’t come out because it stayed at bay. The type that left her to think that life was unfair, but at the same time she knew that she had no right to call something that was settled on unfair. 

It made her exhale deeply through her nose to try and push those feelings of doom aside. To push the water out of her lungs. It was as if her life had come to an end and she had no clue she could love this way as she reclined and stared at her ceiling while letting the cold sheets under her turn warm. 

She felt those waters drag her down further, the ones she was supposed to stay away from but never did because Y/n was so hard to stay away from despite all the warnings on her way there. The girl’s waves were too strong to run away from as they grabbed hold of Minji and pulled her right into her, it wasn’t even intentional. Each breath only turned heavier, filling her lungs more and more with that water that was getting coloured red because it cut through her skin the more she thought about it, the more her heart bled. Her body only grew heavier and let her sink further down in the blue. 

Love hurt, didn’t it?

It was her last chance to say what she felt. There was no losing or winning anymore because whatever Y/n would say, if she was going back to her, Minji would lose either way. If she did, she would at least get it off her chest and know that she had told the girl how she felt. 

-

“What’s this?” Minji asked, still slowly catching her breath as her fingers trailed along Y/n’s warm skin. The bed was hot, the steam still present in the air. She had seen the little tattoo right by her collarbone before; she could tell that it was a little Sakura tree branch which was the size of her forefinger which she traced it with. 

Her eyes flickered away from the tattoo and to Y/n whose face looked unsure as it contorted into a frown and then relaxed before she frowned again and looked at Minji. Her eyes glazed from the alcohol after they had decided to drink over dinner and it got a bit out of hand while they had been talking. It was easy to lose track when they were with each other.

“Isn’t it obvious?” A chuckle followed, it wasn’t an amused one, it was one of condescending pain because it had taken over the girl’s life. 

Minji had unfortunately fallen blind to it after drinking and gave her a nod of affirmation because it was obvious.

“Yeah, but does it mean anything?” 

Well, maybe Y/n could have lied about what Minji asked, or maybe she shouldn’t have asked to begin with. Or she could have just brushed it off and said it meant nothing.

“Means Sakura–” Those tears were already welling up in the drunk girl's eyes and she would never let that happen. She would never be vulnerable around someone else aside from one person, but suddenly she got susceptible around Minji too because combined with the alcohol filling her veins it got stupidly and unwillingly easy. “Her name…while she got stars after saying they remind her of me.” 

She pulled her into her comfort right away, but she wasn’t sure if she was as comforting to Y/n as the girl she got a tattoo for was to her. 

Minji could tell Y/n was still hurting and she felt horrible after the girl slowly crumbled beside her. It had slipped her mind because she was so set on wanting Y/n that she forgot that the girl was still trying to escape something in the past. She had forgotten that she used to have someone else who was closer to her than Minji despite Minji being the one there for her now—even if it was to help her forget. 

She forgot that she wasn’t the only one in love.

-

The tables had turned, hadn’t they?

Minji was the one hurting because of love now and not Y/n. 

The difference was that she couldn’t blame anyone for this while Y/n could blame someone for her heartbreak.

Was it a heartbreak if it looked like they had started to text again?

Minji frowned, it was distress and discomfort at how heavy it made her feel.

It’s been six months though.

It had been two minutes.

“No movie?” Y/n questioned and Minji hummed, lifting her head from the duvet, slowly pushing herself up until she was propped up on her elbows. There was no movie and she got to see what happened when nothing was playing to distract her thoughts. She ended up drowning. A stupid movie was a buoy that kept her at bay and didn’t let her sink under the surface to drown in those thoughts. 

The routine wasn’t the usual as she hadn’t managed to do it.

“Well…” She trailed off, the remote still in her hold and she glanced at the black screen of the TV on the wall. 

“It’s whatever.” 

The vixen was like a cat, the bed dipping lightly as she got on it and her agile body made it to Minji who pushed the remote aside. Her hand found its way to grab hold of Y/n’s hoodie who made it into her lap. It usually wasn’t whatever, they always filled the silence, but this time it was whatever. Maybe whatever was for the better at the moment.

Y/n’s lips tugged into a small smile as she gently pushed Minji to lay back down. Her hands grabbed hold of the ones that were on her hips and she intertwined their fingers before pinning them down beside the girl’s head. It always made Minji’s heart pick up in excitement because feeling Y/n’s lips wasn’t simply great, it always made her body tingle, it made her want more, but more than just Y/n’s body. 

The girl leaned down, their eyes holding an electric field between them, zaps that pulled them to each other. Her hair fell down her shoulders, tickling the sides of Minji’s face, her sweet scent engulfed her in a comfort blanket and her breath gently tickled her lips. 

She lifted her head just enough and it pulled Y/n fully into her. Her lips fell against her, it was like falling through clouds, the girl smiling into the kiss because of the eagerness behind each of Minji’s kisses. The way the older never really wanted to pull away. She could only kiss her behind closed doors so there was no reason to pull away when she finally got to kiss Y/n. It made her world crumble in the best ways possible as it went under and flipped her into a utopic world. 

She gave Y/n’s hands a little squeeze, her eyes closed and her head tilting to get deeper, to swallow the drug that Y/n was whole. Her tongue slowly pushed between those plump lips. It always drew out small sighs, somewhere between moans out of Y/n whenever their tongues met. The vixen was hard to resist and made Minji squirm slightly under her at the growing tension. 

Y/n pulled away with a breathless chuckle, escaping Minji who didn’t manage to catch her lips again. Her lips left wet and parted as she stared up at Y/n with panting breaths falling from her lips. 

Their hands got untangled as Y/n leaned over. “Do you take Polaroids in bed?” She asked with a giggle after her eyes fell on the Polaroid camera on top of the bedside table. Minji tilted her head back and watched Y/n reach over for it. 

“No–I was changing the film.” Y/n hummed and bit her lower lip, Minji’s fingers tangled in the loose jeans the girl had on. 

“What’re you doing?” She questioned, about to reach up for the Polaroid that Y/n aimed at her. She giggled, pushing the hands away from the camera and looked up at Minji who lay under her. It left Minji smiling right back, getting lost in Y/n once again and it took her a second too long to realise it–the picture being taken. 

“Hey–I wasn’t ready for that one,” Minji complained, grabbing hold of Y/n’s waist and pushing her over. The girl had no time to get away when the older one quickly grabbed hold of her- The giggles tended to echo in her mind for days after Y/n would leave. It was a laugh that was easy to remember, the type where she could hear it in a room full of people and know that Y/n was somewhere among them. It brought out laughter in Minji who quickly got on top of Y/n and stopped her with her weight. 

“You don’t need to be ready, it still came out good.” Y/n moved the Polaroid away from her once again when she tried to reach for it and took out the picture that was slowly appearing on the film. With the picture in hand, Y/n finally gave up the camera and Minji took it from her. 

She hummed at Y/n’s words, the girl looking at the picture that was slowly coming to life and Minji found herself staring like always. Her eyes were always on Y/n and she steadied the camera to capture what her eyes always captured. She had no pictures of the girl and wanted to see if they would even compare to what she saw in the girl. 

It seemed perfect as Y/n glanced away from the photo that she flipped to Minji with a smile that was caught right by the camera. It was enough to make Y/n whine and try to squirm from beneath the girl on top of her, but to no avail, as she even held the camera away from her.

“Now I do take Polaroids in bed.” She took the picture out and put the camera back. 

“Do I get to keep it?” Y/n asked and tried to reach for the Polaroid of herself again.

“No…” Minji trailed off and looked back down at Y/n who rolled her eyes before they settled right on the older one again. She looked between the photo and Y/n before she put it aside on the bedside table so it wouldn’t get ruined, slipping the photo out of Y/n’s hand too before she leaned down. It did her beauty no justice, it did not capture what Minji could see in Y/n, it didn’t capture what went beyond beauty and was under her skin.

“You see yourself every day, you don’t need it.” She mumbled, Y/n’s hands came up to her shoulders but she guided them down to the bed, pinning both hands above her head. 

Minji tilted her head, taking that silent moment to always admire the girl for a bit. It was easy to get lost in Y/n’s words, her lips, and her body, but she always preferred to get lost in these simple moments. They weren’t supposed to be passionate but she still found them to be just that. She opened her mouth, but Y/n helped her muffle what she was trying to say when she kissed her. 

The vixen closed her eyes, kissing Minji the way she always did, stealing her breath and so much more than just her breath. It wasn’t intentional, she hadn’t been aware at first, but it became obvious, Minji became obvious. On one side it was needy, their tongues starting to almost desperately push against each other, on the other side it was filled with a burning desire that was different for both of them. 

Y/n slipped her hands out from beneath Minji’s gentle hold, her tongue pushing against the slickness of the older’s mouth as she tangled her fingers in her hair. The words were cut short at this point and all that spoke were their bodies. The girl on top slowly moved down and found herself between Y/n’s legs, still kissing her with her hand slowly running under the hoodie that Y/n had on. 

The vixen was quicker as she moved her hands over to the hem of the other’s shirt and tugged it up. They pulled away, Minji removing her shirt before she helped Y/n remove the hoodie she had on as she had pushed herself up. The clothes fell onto the floor with deaf thuds. It quickly steamed up, it always left the chilly room hot as even at these moments Minji had a hard time containing herself. Everything would be tender, but it was a different tenderness in bed. 

Her cock started to grow harder quicker than she could register Y/n’s body, her eyes knew what they saw, but her brain took longer to phantom the beauty of her. The girl’s black lacy bra didn’t leave much to cover and Minji loved her in black.

Y/n fell onto her back again, pulling the girl with her who immediately found her lips again. Their heavy breaths occupied the room, drowning out the city noise as Y/n’s gasps and Minji’s desperate breaths stirred them on. The younger’s colder hands found their way to the older’s back, trailing her fingers along the back that flexed with each movement and she pulled Minji closer to her. 

It elicited a groan from the back of her throat when her cock was slowly starting to strain against her bottoms, Y/n’s covered heat pressing against hers causing friction for the both of them. It was always a moment of desperation as they wanted to wallow in it, but at the same time get right to it, somehow they managed to meet in the middle. 

Minji kissed away from Y/n’s lips, kissing down her jaw, the younger’s chest heaved deeper with each kiss that pleated her skin in gold. Her hand trailed the slim waist, the touch created goosebumps that crawled over Y/n’s whole skin at how sweet it felt, the softness it created and warmed up her skin before it could get cold when she was starting to lose layers of clothes. 

Her palm pressed against the girl's hipbone, holding herself up while her other hand was by Y/n’s head. Her lips kissed the prominent collarbones with Y/n’s nails gently scratching down her neck and scalp as she pulled Minji closer. That tattoo was still there, but it was as if it disappeared in these moments. It felt like it held less meaning to it. She kissed her neck again, the thin skin was always sensitive and each sound it elicited from Y/n only fueled Minji. It made her press her hard cock against Y/n’s heat through their bottoms.

A moan escaped her lips at how she grounded against her, slowly moving her hips, not much at all, but it was enough pressure against her clit. “Fuck, Min…” Minji gently sucked, tugging on the skin but not leaving anything behind except her warmth. Her nose trailed the skin, taking in the scent while her hips continued to move in those slow motions that made Y/n let out light moans in her ears.

“You’re so hot,” she could only mumble, kissing down to the girl’s supple chest as her breasts perfectly fit in her palm. The skin was soft as she kissed the top of Y/n’s breasts. The girl closed her eyes at the feeling that made it all tingle and it travelled right to her clit where Minji’s cock was pressing through their clothes. Her breath tickled Y/n’s skin, kissing down her breast and along her smooth stomach that was heaving in with each breath.

Fingers found their way to the hem of the loose jeans and she started to work on unzipping and unbuttoning them. Her gaze fell up on Y/n for a second whose eyes were closed, fingers tugging at her hair with each kiss that made her squirm for more. 

She managed to undo the bottoms and sat back on her heels, and the vixen lifted her hips, bottom lip trapped between her teeth as Minji slid them off of her long legs that were slim and smooth, shining. All that was left on Y/n’s body was the black lingerie and the younger sat up.

“It’s almost too loud, Minji.” Y/n breathed out as she sat on her knees, the girl had been awfully quiet and stared at her with those eyes, but those eyes spoke too loudly. Y/n preferred words, not those looks she understood too well. 

“You leave me speechless, I guess.” 

“Too cheesy.” Minji chuckled and kissed Y/n who started undoing her bottoms, her fingers pushed back the hair that was getting in the way of Y/n’s face. She pushed it behind the girl’s ear while she felt her skin with her other hand, cupping Y/n’s cheek. Her left hand snuck behind her waist, smiling into the kiss that made her giddy like always, these moments always did. It almost stung from how good they were, it was all too sweet and bitter at the same time. 

It was with some difficulty but she managed to undo the bra once her hand found its way to it. The gesture was enough to make Y/n chuckle against her lips, swallowing Minji's tongue back down as she sucked on it. The bra slid down her shoulders and Y/n let it fall to the side before she went back to the drawers. Her hand grabbed hold of Y/n’s ass, gripping the cheek and squeezing it as most of the material of the lace went up her ass. Just then Y/n tugged down the jeans while one of her breasts got cupped in Minji’s palm, fitting right in it as her breasts weren’t big, but perfectly plump and perky. 

“Sit down.” Y/n at last managed to pull away from her lips, pushing Minji to sit down and it let her remove the drawers off her legs fully. The older girl sat leaning back against her palms. 

Her eyes landed on the boxer briefs where the print of her cock was prominent, outlining every little detail from her leaking tip to the big vein that ran along it. It was a glance at each other and the two were removing the last pieces they had on until they were naked on the bed. 

Y/n found her way into Minji’s lap, her hand grabbed hold of the cock that was throbbing for her touch. Hands grabbed hold of her ass and Minji’s mouth found its way to Y/n’s breasts. The kisses turned wet and sloppy, quietly whimpering against the skin as Y/n stroked her cock, gathering the precum and smearing it down her length all while letting small gasps out by her ear from the attention on her chest. 

She grabbed hold of the back of the Minji’s head, twisting her hand with each stroke up which made the girl groan, squeezing her tip before going back down. It was waking up every nerve in Y/n’s body from the tongue that circled her nipple, sucking on it and tugging, teeth grazing over it while her other breast was kneaded with rough care. It coated her chest in the warm saliva, and her hard nipples were grazed by teeth before Minji tugged on them. The actions pushed whimpers out of Y/n, pushing her chest more into the girl.

Her cunt was throbbing with need, slick slowly starting to ooze down, Y/n’s clit pulsating at the thoughts, at the cock she was stroking in her hand. Minji’s thick length was scalding in her hold.

“Minji.” It left her lips so softly, it made her dick twitch in the younger’s hold. She hummed, loving those blissful sounds that would always leave Y/n. Her eyes looked up at the girl through her lashes, mouth still sucking on her chest with languid moves that always worked the vixen up the best. 

“Condoms.” Y/n breathed out and she removed her hand from Y/n’s ass and blindly reached for the bedside drawer. Eyes closing at the way Y/n worked her length with just her hand, mouth still latched to the supple breast, gently playing with the nipple using her tongue and fingers. Her fingers stumbled upon the metallic wrap and she took it, only then removing her mouth from Y/n’s chest when the vixen in her lap pulled back.

It disappeared from her hold as Y/n took it from her and Minji bit her lower lip, running her hand down between them. A shuddering breath slipped past Y/n’s lips at the two fingers that ran through her wet folds, spreading them and running down to her sopping hole that was greedily clenching and waiting to get stuffed by the girl’s cock. She looked up at Y/n who held onto her shoulders, wrapper still unopened between her fingers while she slowly caressed her slick pussy. 

She gathered the slickness on her fingers, kissing the girl’s clavicles whose hips subtly bucked into her hand. “You’re so pretty, the way you get needy and wet—loving how just my fingers touch you.” It was almost melodic the way she hummed those words against the warm skin of Y/n. What she got in return was a whimper when she dipped her middle finger inside the walls that immediately clasped around her only for Minji to pull out again. Her hand caressed Y/n’s slim waist, fingers feeling her ribs the higher she got before running her hand back down in a feather-like way. It tickled, it made her squirm, wanting more.

“Please, I want you.” Hearing that Y/n wanted her was almost enough to make her burst. She felt how fingers dug into her shoulders when she circled her clit before pressing down on it. It made Y/n’s hips buck into her before the girl huffed when she removed the pressure. 

“What do you want me to do?” She questioned, tongue sticking out and licking over the tattoo and to the juncture of her neck and shoulder. Her teeth dug down into the skin, fingers still working the slick cunt, teasing through her lips, smearing her wetness up to her clit that she would caress before dipping down before it could become too good.

Minji had learned Y/n’s body, she knew it better than her own. She knew that even if the girl wanted her now, she loved when she would shower her with these teasing touches. When she drove her further up to the peak before letting her hit it and fall off. Her two fingers pushed into the hole this time, stretching the tight walls out in scissoring motions so the girl wouldn’t feel any discomfort once she would push her dick inside. 

“Touch me–make me feel good like you always do.” Her words withered the further she pushed inside her, slowly getting knuckle deep in the confines of her warm and snug walls. The vixen felt the stretch of the two fingers that were slowly stretching her out, caressing her g-spot and putting pressure on it that made her buck into her. 

She continued to slowly work inside her, watching how Y/n’s face contorted into pleasure and need. It was good, but it wasn’t enough yet she loved how it drove her crazy and wanting more. The kisses would ease into her skin, the world muffling around her. Moans seeped through at how deeply Minji worked her fingers inside her, making sure to stretch her. The only other sound was the squelching of fingers pushing in and out of her sopping mess. 

“Fuck me, stretch me out with your cock until everything is a blur—I just want you deep inside me, baby.” Minji slowly pulled her fingers back out of Y/n before running them over to her swollen clit again which she had lubed up with the girl’s wetness.

“Put it on, ride me, fuck yourself on me the way you want to be fucked. Love yourself on my cock, Y/n.” Minji encouraged fingers slowly dragging along the swollen and throbbing bud. The words made Y/n whimper and slowly pull back.

-

“I’m sorry, it’s kind of stupid–wait no, I don’t mean that you are stupid or meeting you–”

“No, don’t worry, it’s fine…I get what you mean by stupid because I’ve never agreed to anything like this before.” Minji cut Y/n off, easing whatever tension that would be created if she let her awkward rambling go on. The vixen gave her a bashful smile, giggling. 

“You’re adorable though.” Minji felt a wave of warmth hit her face, ears running red as if someone had been pulling on them. It was close to making her look around the diner to see if anyone else was witnessing the mess she was becoming around the girl she had gone out with for the third time. “I get the thought behind why Yujin would set me up with you.” She nodded at those words as they had one mutual friend, well, more acquaintance to Minji and Y/n’s friend since Minji didn’t know Yujin too well. 

Although, Minji felt like it was dangerous to be around Y/n. She was too good which meant that she would be bad for her heart. She was so good that the words that left her mouth next only meant more trouble for Minji. It would be impossible, wouldn’t it?

“I don’t think I am willing to put anything on the line, but I wouldn’t mind keeping it casual with you.” 

“As in…” Minji trailed off to make sure, her eyes stuck on Y/n as she was mesmerised by the girl. She looked like she would only break Minji’s heart and she would allow her to do it because Y/n was just too good to let pass by without at least getting to hold her hand. 

“No strings attached sex.”

-

She held onto Y/n’s waist, helping the girl who held her length that was wrapped in the condom. Her tip brushed through her folds and to her hole before Y/n slowly lowered herself onto her. The splitting feeling made her gasp and grip onto Minji’s shoulders who left pecks along her neck while slowly helping her ease down on her length. The tightness of Y/n’s walls was suffocating her cock, taking her into the snug and sopping cunt. As she looked down her dick was halfway there, her folds splitting around her dick. 

Her breathing got deeper when her cock finally filled Y/n to the hilt, nails digging into her shoulders. “Fuck—You fill me so good.” Y/n sighed, pulling away slightly and looking down at their conjoined heat as she slowly started to move her hips. Each movement made them release breaths and moans, the younger whimpering at the cock that was caressing her insides, slowly starting to move up and down and letting it drag along her sopping heat. 

“Show me how you want it,” she breathed out, hand coming up and pushing back Y/n’s hair to see the way her face contorted in pain and pleasure. That bittersweet feeling of fucking herself on Mínji while knowing very well what she felt whether Y/n was riding her cock or if they were just sitting in a blank space and not doing anything at all. Yet she would ride her dick like there was no better thing in the world. 

Hands ran down to her ass, gripping it between her fingers and squeezing as she helped with moving up and down along her length. Her pace picked up, the stretch being less painful and turning into a burning desire for more as the whimpers flew out of her mouth. Minji always hit those spots that she hadn’t been able to hit herself unless it was that one other person. The way Minji had learned her body in these three months hurt because it was too good for someone who didn’t deserve their heart broken, but she was willing to get it broken just to be in the same room. 

“You’re so good, you take me so well ‘my cock so well, I love how you squeeze it.” Her grip on Y/n tightened, the girl rolling her hips back and forth, moving up and down, the pace becoming a perfect trance of sweet honey running a trail down to hell for Minji. The words made Y/n’s walls flutter, cunt clasping around the pulsating cock that she was slowly adjusting better to the longer it stayed buried inside her. 

The vixen bit her lower lip, eyes falling onto Minji who yet again was already looking at her with beautiful hearts in her eyes. It made Y/n close hers and tilt her head back while slowly moving deeper and harder. The bed let out pleading creaks as it was getting tired of watching the pain bloom between them. Minji’s lips parted, only able to watch Y/n ride her, her head thrown back, small chest bouncing with each stroke, her ass slapping against her thighs, pussy squelching from how wet she was, covering Minji’s pelvis in the mess. 

“Fuck–I want more.” Y/n half begged through a moan, her hips still gyrating smoothly, crashing against Minji like waves that sent pleasure through them both. Her cock penetrated deep within her snug walls, making her breath hitch each time it hit that significant spot that edged her closer.

“How much do you want it?” Minji clenched her jaw, palm rising and falling against Y/n’s plump ass, the slap echoing sharply. It made the girl whine and slam back down on her cock, almost choking at the way she filled her. The heat grew, hand colliding against her ass again and gripping it roughly with a squeeze all while staring up at the girl whose lips parted and songs of pleasure spilled out of her lips, the notes only for Minji to listen to. 

“So much, I want you to touch me everywhere, play with me, make me come–play with my pussy until it hurts.” Y/n’s moans went up in pitch, being light and whiny, her ass stinging slightly when Minji’s palm collided with her cheek again before she caressed it in her hold. 

Their bodies were warm, a sheet of sweat covering them to show that the passion was burning with forbidden desires, unable to put it out. Minji ran her hand down to Y/n’s clit, finding the sensitive nub, the touch making the walls clasp around her cock tightly .Y/n bucked into her hand while still moving perfectly on her cock, fucking herself on it just how she liked it and Minji admired. 

-

Minji tried to close her eyes and fall asleep. The girl in her arms was still trembling in her hold. The tear stains on her cheeks were cold and wiped away by Minji. Was there anything as fucking away the sadness, the pain and the agony? Was it right for her to tell Y/n to come over when the girl called her crying because she was worried her friends were done listening to her crying over someone who wasn’t there for her anymore? 

Her fingers ran through Y/n’s silky hair, the girl’s breaths were calm and heavy, but she knew that her insides were rumbling as they lay in bed together. Minji’s eyes fell on the girl who was naked under the covers with her, her perfect face buried in her neck and Minji’s skin warm and foggy from the fanning breaths Y/n let out against it.

Was it right? Minji was hurting so Y/nwouldn’t. 

It made her swallow and move in the bed, slowly pulling away the girl she thought was asleep. Y/n didn’t bother letting her know that she couldn’t sleep. She preferred to pretend that she was asleep so she wouldn’t have to acknowledge that she was hurting Minji. 

The older one got out of bed after placing Y/n’s head on one of her pillows, the covers in her bedroom always lingered with her scent. She pulled the duvet over her naked body so she wouldn’t get cold without her by her side.

Minji slipped on her shorts and tee before grabbing a towel on her way out of the bedroom. 

There was an awkward moment when she walked out of the room, her friend coming out of hers at the same time. It wasn’t hard to tell which one didn’t want to talk at all at the moment because no type of solace would change where her heart was and what would happen to it. The walk to the bathroom was watched by a look of pity before she stood under the pouring water that masked her tears. 

It felt right but at the same time wrong. Her eyes would be so tender, but her tears would be so acidic that they stung when they touched Minji’s skin. It left her hurting just as much as Y/n was and she was taking it every time because she couldn’t help but to do so. It frustrated her as she tried to give her comfort to the condescending pain all while knowing that she wasn’t the person Y/n wanted comfort from. No matter how hard she would try, there would always be a gap she wouldn’t be able to fill simply because her name wasn’t significant to Y/n’s tattoo.

She had known from the start that she would let Y/n break her heart and now it was happening. Minji was willingly putting herself through this for Y/n even if her sobs left her swallowing the steaming water. Even if each sob filled her lungs and left her feeling like she was drowning in pity and pain. It was crashing right through her, ripping every part of her to shreds, rotors snatching her and tearing her limbs apart, but it was all fine as long as she managed to flash some light through the cracks in Y/n. It was fine if the water would get coloured with cherry wine as long as Y/n would be happy drinking it. 

-

It was always a moment of build-up until it stopped only to resume again when Minji laid Y/n down. She pulled the duvet over them to keep the heat between them and not let it run away. Her eyes fell on Y/n while she held onto her still-hard cock and guided it back to her entrance, this time pushing in with more ease as the girl’s walls were accommodated to her thickness and length. 

Y/n gasped, her back arching into Minji, her chest pressing against hers with her arms wrapping around her back while Minji clenched the sheets in her fist by the vixen’s head. It always made her veins fill with these forbidden things, chemicals Y/n made cruise through her body and they would bulge, barely containing themselves within her and not exploding. Her cock buried deep inside the girl right away and she leaned down, kissing Y/n as she started to move her hips.

The bed creaked more, the headboard thudding against the wall and it was hard to continue kissing Y/n when the girl always left her breathless, sucking her soul out. It was as if all blood drained from her heart because it squeezed so hard whenever she was with Y/n. Nails ran down her back, always being the only sign of Y/n ever even stopping by her place together with the scent she would leave lingering on her sheets. 

Her hips met Y/n’s who only spread her legs further, balls slapping against her skin as Minji continued to drill into her cunt. Her fingers played with the bundle of nerves that deserved as much attention to bring Y/n to the edge with her tip stroking at her g-spot. Minji’s face fell into the crook of Y/n’s neck to muffle her sounds, biting down on her shoulder and letting out muffled groans and grunts that pushed out from the back of her throat every time she slammed her cock deep inside the girl. 

The girl moaned, heaving under Minji at the way she was pistoning in and out of her, the tension quickly grew. Her hips pushed up into the hand, but barely as the force of each thrust was holding her down and nailing her into the bed. “Fuck, I’m so close, Min–you fuck me so good.” Y/n’s voice was almost a cry as the next moans weren’t ones she could hold back as her orgasm was approaching, making her back arch more and her hands grasped onto the back that flexed with each thrust, pulling the girl on top closer. 

The covers rested by Minji’s hips, barely staying on from the rough trusts. Her cock dragged along Y/n’s tight walls that were sucking her in. Each thrust left her to pant for air to continue fucking her at the pace. Her hips sped up before slowing down, making sure that Y/n felt her everywhere and that she touched her insides the right way which made her bulge with each deep thrust. The headboard banged against her wall following the rhythm together with the squeaks it let out and leaving its marks on the wall.

She sloppily kissed along the vixen’s shoulder and up to her neck before pulling away to look at Y/n. “Show me how good you feel, Y/n, come around my cock.” Minji groaned, it was almost aching from how her skin was colliding with Y/n’s. The lewd sounds of their wet skin slapping echoed around her room which was filled with these emotions that would leave a mess after them. It would be a beautiful murder scene as someone would die by the end of the night unless something would turn around. 

Her hips rolled into Y/n, fucking deep into her, each thrust hard but tender with care to make her feel good and not hurt her. It made Y/n’s thighs quiver as they locked around Minji, her walls tightening and throbbing as she reached the peak, falling right from it at such speed that her eyes rolled back, head thrown back into the pillow. Minji drowned in Y/n, watching how she managed to fuck her to forget everything and only slowing down when the girl was whimpering and panting for air. 

The way Y/n spasmed at the touch made her remove her hand from the girl’s clit. Minji was close to collapsing at how she had been holding back to have Y/n finish. She huffed, hand falling beside Y/n’s head and bunching up the pillow case in her fists. Arms were still wrapped around her back, holding her close as her breathing grew heavier, her dick growing harder with her balls tightening. 

“Fuck–” She groaned out, stuttering into Y/n with her head falling into the crook of the vixen’s neck. Her cum filling the condom as spurt after spurt shot out her tip that was engulfed by Y/n’s pulsating walls. “Fuck,” she breathed out, falling out of breath, losing her thoughts as it just spilled out of her mouth this time without Y/n being able to prevent the worst from happening.

“I love you.” 

She could feel the way Y/n tensed up at the words she knew would come at some point. Her body slumped down against Y/n’s as she pulled out before her dick could go fully limp–quickly getting rid of the condom that landed in the bin by her bed. It removed one weight off of her chest, but put a new one on it, a much heavier one. 

Y/n’s fingers ran through Minji’s hair, caressing her scalp as silence fell upon them while they tried to catch their breath in a room where all the oxygen had been stolen. 

Minji let out a shaky breath at the way the heaviness had eased on her chest but became heavier right after. That fear grew in her, but she knew what it was. She was fine with her heart being broken by Y/n as she took in the scent that was comforting as it layered on the vixen’s skin. The comfort of something that was almost like a home, she had been homesick for so long, and there was Y/n. It made the tears well up in her eyes as she had found the home she had been so homesick for–

“I love you.” She repeated.

“I know Minji, I’m sorry.” The words were so tender, they left through a small rasp, they soothed yet they bruised as her heart fell into a rhythm that held the heaviness of a broken world. The words didn’t fill any cracks in Minji’s heart but only pushed through them and left them bigger, scarring it, leaving it much more difficult to mend than it should be.

–Only for it to not be a home. 

“You won’t leave?” Minji asked, not daring to move as she was scared that she would crumble to pieces if she did and Y/n moved away to leave. 

The vixen could feel Minji’s tears that brushed her skin, which fell along the skin they knew they didn’t belong on. Her eyes stared at the ceiling which became a blur unless she blinked her eyes and cleared them of the hotness that gathered in them. Her fingers scratched Minji’s damp scalp comfortingly despite not being able to be her comfort. 

“No.” Her lips found their way to the top of her head, kissing it gently. Not being able to kiss the pain away. 

“Promise.” Minji rasped. All she could do was hope and wait for Y/n to stop being hurt by the past. To let Minji in. It wasn’t even about being hurt anymore. It wasn’t about Minji. It never had been. The older one knew that. She knew that and still let Y/n hurt her because she let her do it when Y/n never wanted to hurt her in the first place. She knew that she would get hurt if she fell for someone who was already hurting, it was a disease. 

Minji had taken the wrong turn when she decided to get involved with someone who looked like she would break her heart. When she fell for someone who would break her heart. When she fell for someone who still loved her past. When she found a home in a pair of arms that were still holding onto their old home. 

“I promise.” She let out a shuddering breath, closing her eyes and forcing the tears through the cracks that were appearing in her heart. Something hurt, she couldn’t tell what it was anymore, but it was enough to make her realise that she had never truly been in love before until she met someone who would break her heart from the start. It didn’t allow her to be angry with Y/n, she knew that it was solely her fault that she was hurting and not the vixens. 

She snivelled, the tears only falling harder as she tried to hold back on her cries that left her lower lip trembling. Her body rolled over to the side and her arms wrapped around Y/n’s shoulders who snaked her arms around Minji’s waist. Her tears fell onto the top of Y/n’s head, taking in her scent to try and calm down, but it only reminded her of all that she had possibly lost but would wait for her to find back to Minji if it was possible. 

Y/n’s head nestled under her chin, making her close her eyes as she wished that she could provide the home that Y/n wanted but she would never be able to become. 

She never thought that tears could sting so much, that something salty could turn bitter and sour yet carry a sweet undertone because she had been aware of the outcome all along. It was expected yet it hurt so much that it almost felt good to finally go through it and not have to dread it anymore. It wasn’t something she had to be worried about anymore as the pain finally came and she didn’t have to spend every day waiting for it to finally hit her. 

Minji wanted to look at Y/n, to look into her eyes once more, to kiss her, look at her beautiful face and get lost in the girl to ease the pain that was spreading through her body like a burning fire, leaving nothing but burn marks from the damage it created. That burning passion got out of control when Y/n wasn’t able to keep it in her hold. 

She couldn’t though, she was too scared to look at her and see her not even feel the slightest bit of what she felt for her. Scared to not see her eyes slightly glossy. Scared to not see the girl at least slightly hurting because she wants to love her but maybe is just too scared and not because she loves someone else. 

She fell asleep with the promise in her heart, with the thoughts that she could wait for Y/n and she would stay until she would say it right back.

The problem was that she met Y/n too early, and said those words too late despite there not being any space in between to say them. It was wrong from the start and she had been aware of it.

It wasn’t long until she woke up because she always did when her arms felt empty, especially when she knew that Y/n was supposed to be sleeping in the same bed as her. Her bed was empty though when she tried to find the girl and pull her back into her arms. A knot tied around her heart with a brick tied to it as it dropped to the pits of hell while getting torn by everything on its way down.

It was a broken promise as she opened her eyes in the dark room and the only thing that hadn’t left was Y/n’s scent. There wasn’t a fight to put up when her eyes teared up and burned down her cheeks. Her fingers were trembling as she felt weak at the pain, the despair her body was put through, the agony of losing something she never even truly got to have. 

Minji turned on the bedside lamp, a lump in her throat that was her heart, desperately trying to push out her body and escape through her mouth. The beating was heavy, sounding in her ears, muffling everything else as she wiped at her eyes while sniffling. Her blurred vision fell on the two polaroids as the one with Y/n was flipped over and she took it, clenching her trembling jaw as the tears rolled down the side of her face and were soaked up by her pillow that was the only offer of wiping them for her. Y/n wasn’t there to wipe them. Her other hand grabbed the pillow Y/n had been lying on, hugging it and burying her nose in it while she looked at what had been written on the photo. 

I’m sorry

She still saved the picture, it was her only picture of Y/n in the end as she stared at it while slowly crumbling as her body started to shake from how she tried to contain her sobs. The picture of Y/n. 

The girl who left her, Y/n left her for someone she had been longing for, leaving Minji to long for her now. 

She hadn’t been wrong when she was sure that Y/n was in love too every time she looked her in the eye. It was just that she hadn’t been in love with Minji, that love in her eyes had been for someone else all along. It was so strong that it even stayed when she was with someone else, fooling Minji into believing that it could be her. 

Was it because of a simple text that read;

I still love you

What if Minji had told Y/n how she felt sooner?

Would she maybe leave her past behind and consider a future with Minji instead?

It all created more lumps in her throat and more tears ran down her face until a sob finally fell through her lips and she buried her face in the pillow while clutching her only photo of the girl who broke her heart. The girl tried her best to ease the pain that pulsated on her chest, rubbing at it while crying for someone who wouldn't show up.

Because…What if?

[loggiepj]

To Love A Lannister

chapter 6 | chapter 7

It was midday when all of you have safely returned to the Red Keep. Joffrey was furious, ordering an attack on Stannis on that very day. Tywin was able to calm him down. Tyrion even made a funny comment how the King had no right complaining when he hadn't even bled a small drop of blood from the fight.

Oberyn had observed your wounds when he removed your armor. The cut wasn't too deep, yet your cousin remained worried as if scared he'd get a scolding from your father if you were harmed under his care. "You'll live," Ellaria said, chuckling. Laughing from Oberyn's odd concern, you commented back that it was only a scratch.

One knight suddenly approached you, ordering you to see Maester Qyburn to tend to your wounds immediately.

Ready to dismiss him for you know you didn't need to be stitched, you stopped short when he added, "Queen's orders."

Oberyn only shrugged his shoulders when you looked at him for help.

~~~

Almost a couple of minutes had gone to waste waiting for Qyburn in the Maesters' Keep. You had probably touched and observed any liquid, object or scroll inside the room before a knock on the door startled you, you almost dropped a vial of liquid from your grasp.

"Forgive me, Maester-" It wasn't Qyburn at the door but the Queen Cersei herself.

She carefully approached you with a box of liquid and bandages of her own before she pulled out a seat for you. "Sit."

You did as you were told, just like the last time.

"Aw! Seven hells!" you complained when she began carefully cleaning the wound on your arm.

"If you could only stop moving, this would all be over soon," she said as she moved to the bandages. The touch of her skin on yours ignited the flame inside you. After a moment, she asked softly, "What happened there?"

Thinking she was worried about her son, you sighed. "We met some of Stannis' soldiers in the forest. They weren't supposed to be there. I think they had a different business other than attack us," remembering Lady Melisandre's gaze, "we just happened to be in the way."

"And I thought you were all well equipped warriors in Dorne," Cersei scoffed as she poured myrrh to the wound on your leg.

"Aw!"

Cersei rolled her eyes at you before continuing to wrap bandages around your wounded leg. You then answered, "I was . . . distracted."

When the Queen had finished, she said, "I forbid you to join any battle from now on."

You smiled, before laughing. "It's just a scratch, Your Grace."

"If it's only a scratch, then why are you screaming and howling like a hound?"

Letting out a nervous laugh, you watched Cersei gather the items back into the box. You swallowed a lump in your throat as silence enveloped the both of you once again.

"I'm sorry," Cersei muttered so softly, bottles clinking as she went on to clear the mess.

"Pardon me, Your Grace?"

She cleared her throat before speaking the words again. "I'm sorry. I know I have offended you."

You quickly looked down as you avoided her gaze, not wanting to see her how it had affected you.

"It doesn't matter," you said, standing up from your seat. "It will not change the fact that I'm just a nobody. That my father shouldn't have named me a Martell because I'm truly just a Sand." The Sands were the bastards in Dorne.

The Queen pulled your chin up to look at her and all you could see from her eyes were concern and adoration as she shook her head. "No. No, you're not."

Cersei grabbed your collar as she kissed you, making you gasp. It was a soft and slow one, hesitant to see if you would reciprocate, testing the waters to check if you still want her.

And you still wanted her.

You returned her kisses with the same passion she had provided. After a moment, she pulled off from the kiss as she leaned her forehead against yours, breathless with eyes closed. She slowly opened them and met your hooded gaze.

"Y/n," she called out softly.

Your hand crept to her face as you pressed your mouth against her open lips. Desire exploded as you kissed each other desperately. She clutched unto the back of your head while the other on your shoulder as she pressed your bodies together.

Licking her lower lip to seek entry, you were granted, making her moan into the kiss as you tasted her. Her fingers fisted your hair as she suddenly pulled you off her a mere inch away, making you grunt. Panting at each other, her eyes darted from your wet lips up to your eyes then back to your mouth before she reconnected your lips again.

The sound of a door creaking open caused the both of you to jump apart as fast as lightning.

"My apologies if I took so long, Your Grace," Maester Qyburn said, oblivious of the tension between you and the Queen. "Oh, Lady Y/n, I didn't know you were injured too."

~~~

Remnants of Cersei's taste lingered on your mouth as you stared blankly ahead. You were in Oberyn and Ellaria's chambers for the night, discussing about the attack that happened earlier that morning, whether it was staged by the Lannisters or not. It was brought to your attention that none of the Lannisters were physically harmed or even meddled into the fight. Intriguing.

"Did you even listen to what I just said?" Oberyn's voice raised.

Blinking, you quickly apologized. You could feel Ellaria's eyes on you, as if analyzing what has been bothering you for quite some time. You even avoided dining with the royal family.

Nodding, you answered, "After Joffrey's wedding, we're setting sail back home to Dorne."

"And before that?"

You sighed, picking on the bandage Cersei had delicately wrapped around your arm. "Remain inside the Red Keep and keep out of trouble."

"And that means?"

You fell silent, knowing that you couldn't promise yourself to stay away from the Queen, not after what happened.

"Y/n!" Oberyn called, snapping his fingers.

"She's in love," Ellaria declared, making you look at her. "You're already in love with her."

Oberyn stated, "She's already obsessed with her, my dear-"

"No, it was infatuation before. But now, it's love," Ellaria said.

You only avoided the couple's gaze.

Your cousin sighed. "Y/n-"

"I know," you interjected. "She's a Lannister. Stay away from the Lannisters."

Oberyn carefully approached you before putting his hand on your shoulder. "Once we're safely back in Dorne, there's an important matter that your father would like to discuss with you."

And you were too furious to even care about going home.

~~~

A knock on the door brought you out of trance. You were just mindlessly looking through the map of the Capital where you got attacked by Stannis' soldiers. What were they doing there? And why was Melisandre, the Red Woman, staring at you as if she knew you?

"My Lady," the handmaiden assigned to your care announced. "The Queen is here to see you."

You turned to look at the door and there Cersei stood looking so effortlessly beautiful.

"Leave us," she said to the girl.

Once the handmaiden left, Cersei locked the door. You straightened from your posture, knowing her intentions.

"Your Grace," you greeted, eyes not leaving hers. You could still remember her taste, her softness, her warmth. And you missed it dearly.

"How's your wound?" she asked, genuine concern laced into her voice. Cersei kept on surprising you.

"It hurts from time to time, but it's healing," you answered, slowly creating a distance away from the Queen. Yet the Queen didn't seem to back down from the challenge.

"Do you want me to request Maester Qyburn to send you milk of the poppy?"

"I can handle it, Your Grace. But thank you."

"Why are you so stubborn?"

"It's just a scratch, Your Grace-"

"You have been avoiding me for three days," she interrupted.

You licked your lips nervously. "I didn't know you were counting-"

"And yet you still act so coy around me," she spat, as she walked towards you until your back almost hit the wall. "Sometimes you're so . . ."

"So what, Your Grace?"

Cersei stared into your eyes, searching for something. "So arrogant as if I. . ."

"As if you what?" You didn't dare to move any more as she had managed to trap you, her face leaning so close to yours, you could literally smell her floral scent you had grown to miss.

"I . . ."

Both of your lips were inches away, barely touching.

She then whispered breathlessly, "As if I . . .I want you."

Cersei's eyes darted from yours to your mouth, before looking back at you.

You asked, "Do you? Do you want me?"

Pulling you into a desperate kiss was her answer. Your back hit the wall as she pressed herself unto you. Hungry mouths desperately kissed each other, hands touching and brushing each part of your body. It didn't take any longer and you were already feeling so much aroused, you had no doubt she was able to feel it against her stomach.

One of her hands unwrap from your hair and began travelling to your breasts, squeezing them to get a moan out of you.

"Cersei," you gasped. She pulled away from your kiss. Then she slipped her hand further down your breeches until she was cupping and stroking your crotch.

"What are you doing?"

Cersei ignored your question, focused on planting a kiss on your chin, then another on your jaw then to your neck and then under your ear, lips nibbling against your lobe. The action made you tremble, your throat letting out a strained groan.

You could feel her breath on the skin of your neck as she whispered so coyly near your ear, "I'm going to suck your cock."

"Cersei-" Your brain stopped working when you could feel the Queen's hand moved against your thickening shaft, making you lean further against the wall.

She went on peppering kisses all over your face and neck, intentionally avoiding your lips. "Oh gods, your hand feels so good."

The Queen chuckled softly as she sucked the skin on your jaw. "Is that so? Wait until you feel my mouth."

You had lost it, eyes rolling to the back when you felt Cersei slip one hand into your breeches and curl her fingers around your hardness. It made you groan out embarrassingly loud.

"Not feeling so coy now, are you, Y/n?" she challenged, observing your face contorted in pleasure. Her hand stroked your entire length firmly until you could feel a small drop of precum, rendering you to hear the lewd action.

"You are so hard for me, My Lady," Cersei cooed, her other hand cupping your face to urge you to look at her. Then she leaned forward and captured your waiting lips, desperation still present as fierce as before.

Abruptly, she pulled back and dropped to her knees, her fingertips curling into the band of your breeches before pulling it down.

You let out a pathetic whimper the moment you felt Cersei's tongue on the tip of your cock, which was already throbbing against the hand wrapped around the shaft. It wasn't a wise decision to look down upon her already staring back at you with hooded eyes, slipping your entire length into her mouth.

"Cersei, mmmm," you arched your back, head falling back against the wall as you tried to hold unto your surroundings. Books you had managed to touch fell from the shelves until your hand managed to find the surface of your table and held unto it, your knuckles turning white.

Cersei pulled you out and you instantly missed the warmth from her mouth. "Use me," she ordered.

"I don't want to hurt you," you stammered, your other hand finding her cheek as you brush a strand of her hair over her ear. Cersei held your hand and guided it to the back of her head before she went to take you in. Moaning against your length, the Queen encouraged you to move your hips and you did as you were told, fucking yourself into her mouth.

"Gods, Cersei, I'm . . . "

Wet sounds of skin and strained groans filled the entire chamber. Cersei moved with fervor as she sucked you eagerly, faster and faster each second, all the while her hand kept on stroking the base. You knew you wouldn't last another second, when your movements turned sloppy and uncoordinated.

But as you attempted to pull out upon your nearing release, it was of no surprise she held you firmer and deeper, the tip of her nose now touching your pelvis, until you could feel the tightness and warmth from her throat. Your rhythm faltered and the tightening in your belly snapped.

Hot bursts of cum spurted into the Queen's mouth and she took it. The sound of your helpless grunting only spurred Cersei to suck harder until there was nothing left to milk, swallowing everything from you.

"Seven hells, My Queen," you panted breathlessly as she stood. She didn't even give you some time to recover when she met your lips in a passionate kiss, her arms wrapping around your neck as she pulled you back to her, heading to your bed.

She leaned her forehead against yours as she chuckled, "I'm not done with you yet."

[emptywwwriting]

Morning Patrol

Paring: Jackson!Joel Miller x Fem! reader

Summary: It's your first patrol shift since you joined Jackson. When your friend, Jesse, calls out sick you have to go on the patrol alone with Joel Miller.

Warnings: Horrible Writing, HUGE age gap (33 years LOL), reader smokes cigs,  reader is also lowkey a horse girl (shut up), smut will be added, edited this @ 3am sry for mistakes lol, no use of y/n

A03 Link: Morning Patrol

Word Count: 3.8k omg...

First writing ever. I'm sorry if it sucks LOL. I wrote this because I’ve been replaying TLOU2 and it re-awoken my love for these characters.

Idk if I will make this a story or not, it depends on the feedback I get. Correct my grammar/spelling if you see anything wrong, feedback is much appreciated. Also, this is a no-Ellie AU not for any reason, in particular, I just didn’t know how to combine her storyline into this. Please read the warnings!!

It's freezing this time of year, cold frosted winds that are carried by the slopes of the mountains swirl the small town of Jackson, freezing everything over. Even the small wooden stove that usually warms your bones isn't cutting it. Yet you have to stop your eyes from fluttering close while you sit next to the open flame. With only your undergarments to cover you, you're balled up as small as possible sitting on the floor next to the heat. Your alarm had gone off 15 minutes ago, but you’d been procrastinating since. It’s your first patrol shift ever since Jackson took you in nearly 4 months ago. This idea was suggested, rather drunkenly, by Tommy at a bonfire just last week.

…

“It’s about time you start pulling your weight here,” Tommy mumbled with a beer resting on his lips, tilting his head towards you.

Your head snapped up to meet his gaze angrily.

Jesse had arranged a get-together by a bonfire following a town event, inviting Tommy, Joel, Dina, and a few other lookout guards. The hangout was calm, warm, and cozy, with everyone sitting around enjoying their drinks, sharing funny stories, and discussing unusual experiences. As a fairly new member of the town, you were unfamiliar with most of the people there. Jesse, who had played a key role in bringing you into Jackson, made sure to introduce you to Dina, with whom you had formed a close bond. She introduced you to the wonderful team of people who manage all of the horses that Jackson uses. Having grown up around animals, and having extensive knowledge of them, you felt right at home. 

However, not everyone was as friendly. Tommy, in particular, seemed to have a strong dislike for you. Ever since the night shift had found you, he had been suspicious of your presence in the town. Tommy constantly questioned you about your past, making you feel like a criminal rather than a newcomer just trying to fit in. While you understood the need for caution in a town as advanced as Jackson, Tommy's suspicions seemed to linger longer than necessary, this pissed you off. Despite your efforts to become a part of the community and form relationships with Jackson’s people, his distrust towards you made it difficult. You couldn't help but feel like an outsider, even when you are trying to enjoy a casual gathering. 

Jesse let out a cough next to you in an attempt to break the tension. Tommy’s brother, sitting next to him, didn't look away from his bottle, staring awkwardly into the brown glass. Jesse adjusted himself upright in his chair and began.

“I mean you can always come with us on a morning patrol shift… if you feel like it of course,” he added quickly, before staring into his own beer bottle.

You hummed in response. 

Still mad at Tommy, you shoot him another hidden glare before finishing your drink quickly.

“I think it would be a good start for you, hell of an early shift but usually a quiet one.” He looks over at you. “Just me and Joel now, another person couldn't hurt.” Jesse finishes.

Tommy's brother, Joel, grunts from across the fire agreeing.

You stare into the open flame thinking about his words.

“You up for it?” Jesse prods.

“Yeah, I'll do it.” You reply.

Tommy lets out a huff but you choose to ignore it. 

Still basking in the awkwardness from Tommy's comment, Dina and Jesse yawn and start collecting their stuff murmuring their goodbyes to the rest of the group surrounding the fire. Tommy and Joel stomp out the flames before falling into quiet conversation, as you follow Dina and Jesse towards the housing strip.

…

You finally force yourself to get up, the cold air wraps around your body as the stove's heat leaves your skin, you quickly get dressed. Sliding your thickest sweatshirt over your head and thick pants onto your legs. Stepping into your boots, you grab a beanie, gloves, and your backpack, making sure that your revolver is with you. After extinguishing the stove's flame, you exit your house and start down the quiet road.

You thought that things were quiet at night, they are even more quiet at four in the morning. Not a soul is awake at this hour, you've never seen the streets of Jackson so still. None of the town's Edison bulbs were on, only the occasional lamp that came from a house's window illuminated your path. Your mind wanders to the patrol, and you recall how just yesterday Jesse called out sick. A horrible stomach flu had torn its way through Jackson, particularly the school kids and teachers. Jesse got it after participating in a snowball fight with the school children, and Dina was now stuck taking care of him.  You had been sick with it nearly a week ago, the aftereffects still haunting your body. Your stomach gurgled with hunger, feeling as if it had sunk in. Chills racked your body at night, but you had no fever and could keep food down, sometimes. You didn't want to leave Joel to do the patrol alone, even though you know he could.

You have never talked with Joel before, just knew of him. His gruffness made itself apparent when he entered a room. He is a very respected man in the small town and it makes you feel like you know him to an extent. You have to admit that his large size and powerful aura make you slightly scared of him, yet it intrigues you even more. You often catch yourself staring at his aged and calloused hands gripping a beer bottle, or while cleaning his gun, and would have to force yourself to look away; But for such a strong and large man he was so quiet. It made you nervous to go on patrol with him. It's not that you dread the patrol itself, nor does it mean you don't want to be alone with him, but you dread the awkwardness of it.

You are both very quiet people, it's bound to get awkward. With someone chatty like Dina, you could rely on her for conversation for hours, and there would never be a dull moment. But with Joel? Who knows.

Finally, you arrive at the greenhouses which are next to the exit of Jackson. In the moonlit shadows, you see Joel, hand near his mouth, a lit cigarette between his fingers. The tip of the cigarette glowing red illuminating his face in an auburn glow. The sight makes your stomach flip, or maybe it's the virus. He catches your eye as you approach, now a few feet from him.

“Mornin.” He mumbles, voice groggy with sleep.

“Morning” You offer back sounding weak.

His peppered beard nearly sparkles in the dim light, his nose sculpting his face beautifully. Towering over you even at a distance.

Fuck he’s hot.

“We should head out a little early today so I have time to show you all our check-in spots,” He says after another puff.

“Sounds good to me!” You say eagerly, slightly embarrassed at your peppiness. 

He tosses the cigarette into the snow, before stepping on it with his boot, turning away from you and towards the gate. You're suddenly very thankful for Jesse's illness, given now you get to be alone with possibly the hottest man you have ever seen. 

Fumbling for the key he unlocks the gate, before having to open a set of precautionary doors, that you remember entering just a few months ago after night patrol found you nearly dead.

“Watch your step.” Joel throws back at you as you exit the final gate and start up a path of icy rocks.

“Got it.” You retort.

Looking up you can see the moonlit glow of the frozen rocks, a long path up into the cover of the forest. It's eerie, too quiet, and too steep. You would not know what to do without Joel here. Even though his presence puts your mind at ease, it's still terrifying while dark. You had almost forgotten what it's like to not be in Jackson. A whole year of struggling to survive on your own forgotten in a handful of months.

I’m spoiled. You think.

You know Jackson has spoiled you but it's not like you don't deserve it.

 The thoughts of your life before, outside the walls of Jackson, creep into your mind and you become nauseous.

“How long will we be out here?” You ask, trying to get your mind back to Joel.

“Well-” He sighs. “Depends on how many stragglers we have to get through. If the weather holds up and there's nothing out of the blue, the whole watch will be about 8 hours.” 

“Eight hours?” You repeat shocked.

“Yep, a whopping eight hours.” He says sarcastically. “Forget how you outbreak, kids never worked a normal job.” He chuckles to himself.

“I was born as soon as the outbreak started, I think that's hard enough.” You say smiling. He huffs.

“I’d take eight-hour shifts over an infection any day.” You smile.

“Yeah me too.” He replies.

It's quiet again and the awkward tension seeps back in making you more uneasy. The sound of his boots crunching the snow under him fills the air, and you're now closer to the woods. You follow Joel a few feet back, studying his frame while he can't see you. 

Why can’t you think of anything to say and why is he so quiet? You pray for Joel to say something, anything, and when he doesn't, you force yourself to talk.

“Do you like your shifts with Jesse?” 

“Jesse's good, a little woman crazy but he's fine. At least he's a good shot.” He lets out a huff.

“Yep, that sounds like Jesse.” you smile to yourself.

The conversation goes silent again and you begin to wonder if it's just this awkward in your head. The path evens out as you enter the brush, and Joel turns his flashlight on, illuminating the now even darker path. As the forest thickens the moon becomes less and less of a help, your eyes strain, trying to make out the terrain. 

Crunch Crunch Crunch

Focusing on the sounds of snow and wind you space out, now trying to ignore the awkwardness between you.

“How old did you say you were?” 

you didn't 

Joel asks awkwardly.

“Twenty-five.” You reply, 

“Jesus.” He says under his breath.

“How old did you say you were?” You ask playfully.

He laughs, seemingly embarrassed.

“Too old.” He says shortly.

You laugh and begin walking closer behind him. When finally in the complete cover of the woods Joel climbs up onto a large rock, one nearly bigger than you. After getting himself up right, he reaches a hand down to you. He looks majestic like this, so tall above you looking down with a rough and large hand extended. Even his thick wool coat can't fully conceal how large his biceps and chest are. You want to take a picture of him. 

Him saying your name, snaps you back into reality, grabbing his hand quickly, he hoists you up onto the rock. His powerful tug launches you faster than you expected. Your foot lands on a chunk of ice and you slip slightly before he holds you up with the hand he was holding. Dangling from his strong  grip you quickly try to find some kind of footing grunting in pain.

His other hand comes down to the collar of your clothing grabbing it and pulling you up. You reach for his arms for stability and take a breath before opening your eyes to look up at him. You're a mess, knees weak, one arm on his bicep the other on his flexed forearm staring up at him like a hurt puppy. You snap your head back down and release him, brushing yourself off. He slowly lets go of your jacket collar and hand before huffing out a chuckle

“Told you to be careful.” He beams down at you.

Your face is so red it's warming you in contrast to the freezing night air.

“Not my fault you flung me over the rock.” You laugh lightly looking down to hide your face. Not only were you red but you are trying to hide the grimaces you are making from the shooting pain in your ankle.

“Whatever you say darlin'.” He laughs.

And, oh that made your stomach do actual flips. You freeze as he starts down the path again, you're trying to comprehend the nickname, and why it sounded so good coming from his lips.

Darlin’....

 Shaking your head you follow after him promptly. The wind picks up and your hair starts whipping onto your already red cheeks. It is cold, and the wind makes you feel even more miserable. Joel's hair, which had only grown since you joined Jackson, moved in the crisp breeze, he seemed to notice the wind picking up, and he started walking faster.

“I think we are getting caught in a storm.” He says defeatedly, pushing forward into the dark night. 

Your heart drops as you push to keep up with the older man who is somehow faster than you, your ankle screaming at you to stop.

“Let's turn back.” You suggest sighing, you pause for a moment to take the weight off of your foot. 

This earns a quick,

“No, too far back, we are closer to the first check-in.” His voice becomes more strained as the terrain gets more steep and the wind picks up. You quickly start following after him again, in a limp.

“How much further?” 

“Half a mile.” Joel quips.

“Focus on the trail. The wind is getting stronger, we have supplies at the check-in and can camp out there until day shift comes.” 

His strong legs take large strides up the mountain. You continue to follow, the wind nearly knocking you over at some points. The gusts of icy air start picking up fallen snow, blurring everything in a cloud of white dust. Your ankle only seems to be feeling worse as each twist and turn gets harder and harder to trek. In a panic, you grab Joel's backpack so as not to lose him. He yells something at you about the path you think, but you can't hear, the wind is screaming in your ears too loudly. Your ankle feels warm. Twigs and branches snap, each making you jump, you slip only slightly, catching yourself before continuing hot on Joel's trail. Your knuckles are white from the grip you have on his bag. Frozen in place. 

Finally, you see the outline of a shed, Snow, and ice slinging into the side of it from the wind. You see the back of Joel's head raise as he spots the structure before his pace picks up even more and you're practically being dragged. Noticing this he blindly reaches back, taking hold of your forearm and dragging you to the front of him, his warm chest pressed against your back. The wind slams into him, blocking it from you. He pushes you slowly, now noticing your limp. Step by step you make your way to the wooden shed. You hear him breathing ruggedly in your ear, your gasp and breaths fill the air along with his. Finally at the door moving you to the side yet not taking his hands off you he opens the door and shoves you inside. The sound of whirling wind, snow, and branches snapping disappears outside of the dark room, muffling the chaos nearly completely. 

Joel puts a large wood plank in the shed's lock and takes a deep breath before turning to you. He looks you up and down.

“You okay? You slipped a few times pretty good back there.” He sighs trying to catch his breath.

“Yeah, I think I'm good.” You breathe deeply and try to think. “I twisted my ankle a little though.” You sigh.

Throwing down your heavy bag you plop down on the dirt floor next to it. You definitely did something more than twist it because the pain is radiating up into your knee, making it hard to hide your discomfort. 

Inside the shed is small, there's enough room for you, Joel, and a small stove with a plastic crate filled with what looked like ammo and food and first aid, underneath it. Joel looks down at you and you meet his gaze. The feeling of his chest against your back lingers on your skin and in your thoughts. You push your thighs together and look away, hoping he can't read your mind. He kneels in front of you grabbing your ankle suddenly.

“Shit!” You hiss trying to pull your leg back up to your body.

He takes hold of your leg again, this time underneath your knee. You move around trying to find a comfortable position.

“Stop squirming, I need to look at your ankle.”

As he wishes you hold as still as possible as he pulls your pant leg up and begins to untie your boot. Gently he slides off the shoe and pulls your sock off halfway. Unveiling your ankle beat red and swollen. Joel cringes at the sight of it and gently puts your leg back on the ground. Reaching behind himself he grabs the plastic tote and opens it looking for what you assume to be painkillers.

“It's really not that bad, I'll be okay, just need to lay off it for a bit.” You sound defeated.

“We have pain killers in here, you can-” 

You cut him off “I'm okay, and I'm not wasting Jacksons supplies.”

He looks at you, at your ankle, and then slowly up your body. 

“You're not going to be able to walk back down with that.” He says.

You go to disagree with him but you stop yourself because you know he's right, there's no way in hell.

“Im sorry, I-” 

“Not your fault.” He cuts you off and places the small crate at your legs for you to prop your foot on.

“I know I just- I feel like the town already doesn't like me, hell I know Tommy doesn't. And I just don't want to be a problem.”

“Tommy’s a paranoid old man,” He begins. “I love my brother but his suspicions get the best of him sometimes, he loves Jackson, and wants to keep it safe, don't take it personal kid.” His eyes show you his sincerity, and you look down, still ashamed.

He looks up at you saying nothing sympathy written across his face. He groans as he gets up from his knees now looking down at you, examining.

“I hope day shift brings up a horse. We gon’ have to carry you if not.” 

You cringe at the thought of the issues you're causing but know he's right.

“As for this storm,” He walks around the room and cracks the door open slightly before having to slam his body on it to get the wind to stop pouring through. 

“Yeah-” He breathes heavily, locking the door back. “That's gonna hold up for a while.” He puts his fingers on the bridge of his knows like he's trying to figure out what to do.

Joel then spends the next twenty minutes doing something you may call nesting. As you watch, you can sense the anxiety pouring off him. He paces back and forth, seemingly unable to calm down. While he doesn't say anything, the worried look on his face speaks for him. It's as if he's trying to distract himself from the nervousness that looks to be consuming him. He checks and double-checks the locked door, and starts a fire in the small stove, he meticulously tends to it. The pacing continues, with Joel occasionally glancing at the door, as if expecting the weather to magically change.

At this point you're lying on the ground head on a Joel’s pack, just staring into the fire.

“Jesus sit down Joel.” You finally tell him, getting tired just from watching him.

He pauses his pacing and looks at you as if he didn’t know he was even doing it. Mumbling an apology, he walks over to you and sits against the wall a foot or two from your head. You two sit in silence for a while, listening to the fire crackle what sticks were left in there, while the wind whistles through the small shed.

“You got any more of those cigarettes you had earlier?” You ask shyly, like you are doing something bad. You meet his gaze craning your neck up while he looks down confused and surprised.

“Didn't know you smoke” He huffs, reaching into the backpack under your head, he grabs a small white beat-up box and pulls from it, a neatly home-rolled cigarette.

You hum, admiring his strong hands digging through the box.

“Don't tell on me.” You smile looking at him sheepishly. He rolls his eyes before sticking the cigarette in his mouth and bringing a match to the end of it, lighting it and inhaling deeply. Taking it from his mouth he brings the cigarette to your lips until you open them, sticking it between them. Your stomach does cartwheels as he focuses on your lips wrapped around the smoke. Inhaling deeply you lock eyes, staring back into his. He takes the cigarette in front you and lets it rest in his hand as you both exhale.

“How long until they come for us?” You sigh after gently taking the cigarette from Joel’s hand and sticking it in your mouth again.

“Day shift starts at 1:30, and it’s still dark out,” He takes the smoke from you and takes a drag before exhaling.

“So we still have a while sweetie.”

You hide the smile that forces its way to your face by adjusting your body so that your head is now closer to his thigh.

You both take turns puffing on the cigarette until it gets too short to hold, Joel tosses it into the stove, and wipes his hands on his pants. You however are plotting on how to get closer to him. Too shy to say anything, but too desperate to not be closer you casually scoot up more and place your head on his thigh before turning away from him, pretending to get comfy. He gets stiff at this and you get nervous.

shit was that too much?

Frozen in fear you listen and wait. Slowly he relaxes and you hear his head thump against the wall. You let a breath out you didn’t know you were holding, and begin to relax. It was nearly 15 minutes later when you started to hear a small grumble coming from the man under you, he was snoring. You smiled to yourself, proud that you had managed to lay on him and not weird him out, maybe he likes it as much as you do. When he wakes up you'll think about testing your luck again, for now though, you need to rest. Closing your eyes you drift to sleep on his thigh, thinking about his hands all over you.

Edit: Chapter 2 will be coming out soon, be on the look out!

[animasolaoriginal]

I n n o c e n c e L o s t 🟪 1

He finds her in a brothel of all places. A chance encounter, but one that will change his life – and hers – forever.

lonely cowboy/outlaw ✖️ prostitute who's so much more than that

Chapter 1▫️2▫️3▫️4▫️5▫️6▫️7▫️8▫️9▫️10▫️11▫️12▫️13 ...

GENERAL TAGS: NSFW! Explicit! Size difference, age gap, slow burn romance. Cowboys, outlaws, prostitutes. Historical inaccuracy. Horses, guns, violence.

WORDS: 5.9k 🟪 READ ON AO3

🟪 Chapter 2

Chapter 1: The Girl

Bourbon, rum, whiskey, anything that burns on his tongue, spilling liquid fire down his throat. It all blurs in the end. There's laughter, slurs, hands slapping backs, stumbling, murmurs, more laughter. That post-heist-haze sinking into his bones. Everything whirls inside his head as he makes it up the stairs. “Gimme your best...newest,” he hears himself mumble.

Last door on the right. Somehow he makes it there, leans heavy on the door knob, twists it, almost falls as the door swings open. There he stiffens, blinks slowly, his motions so heavy, frozen in time, slow as molasses. The door closes behind him, he stares ahead, blinks again, eyelids almost stuck to his eyeballs.

And yet he sees her.

The room is dark, small, a large bathtub in one corner, a four-poster bed in the other. An old armchair next to a fireplace, the fire roaring within, the only light source. And in front of it, between the flames and the chair, kneels a girl, pale legs illuminated by the orange glow next to her, skin, so much skin, not everywhere though. Her slender torso is covered by a loose blouse, unbuttoned in the front, falling off one slim shoulder, held together by a tight corset that pushes up her small breasts, creating a cleavage that doesn't suit her. Thin arms in wide cotton, or satin, he can't be sure, it doesn't matter.

He's fixated on her bare legs. The blouse barely covers the hint of hair between her legs, peeking out despite her kneeling position, thighs pressed tightly together as she sits on the heels of her feet. Her hands rest folded on her lap, the chest is moving up and down, and his eyes wander again, to her face. Pale. Soft edges on the jaw, high cheekbones, a small straight nose, lips... full lips, pink and shiny, a tongue darting out and wetting the bottom one.

And those eyes. Big eyes, glowing in the dim light, greenish, blue maybe, like the deep sea at midnight, a wave illuminated by the moon. They look both surprised and eager, but the flutter of her nostrils tells him she is more surprised and shocked by his sudden entrance, by the unsteadiness of his large body.

She looks so young.

Something stirs within him, and not just the strain in his pants, but something more like a knot in his stomach. This is wrong. He stumbles further anyway, watching her closely. She flinches when he comes closer, but doesn't move. Somehow he makes it to the armchair, flops down in it with a heavy grunt, his belt tilting even more on his hips. He shifts his holster away. Her eyes follow him.

He stares at the girl in front of him, immobile, waiting, patient and yet anxious. What is she waiting for? Why isn't she moving? Why is she here? When she eventually moves, only slightly, a little shift on her knees to face him, he lets out a groan, and she stops, eyes wide.

“How old are you?” he slurs, tongue heavy in his mouth.

She tilts her head, long brown waves falling over her shoulder, some strands gathering in the cleft between her pushed-up breasts. “Old enough to please you, mister,” she replies, her voice feeble and quiet, but there's a fire behind those words, uttered in confidence as if she's done it before, many times.

“Age,” he grunts again, staring at her. She holds his gaze, jaw clenching slightly.

“Eighteen,” she says quietly, her chin tilted up a bit.

He narrows his eyes, he's noticed the twitch in her folded hands, the tension in her slim shoulders. “Really?”

“Yes, sir,” she whispers, tilting her head. “Why does it matter?” she then asks, a little louder, batting those long eyelashes. “You're here to have some fun, aren't you?”

“You're young,” he simply states. Not too young, maybe, but young... young enough to make him think despite his drunken state. This is wrong. She shouldn't be here. “How long have you been here?” Done this?

“All my life, mister,” she answers, and he frowns, deep creases on his forehead that hurt inside his temples. “I was born here.” The ache grows. His head thumps to the beat of his thundering heart, mirroring the throbbing behind stiff fabric.

He leans forwards then, causing her to flinch once more, as he rests his elbows on his thighs and stares at her, scrutinizing her, takes in her young face. Pretty, no, beautiful, in spite (or because) of the rounded edges of her face. She's slender, sharp collarbones visible in the wide opening of her blouse. Those soft mounds tease him, urge him to release them from their unnaturally squished state.

His hand twitches, itches to touch her, but something holds him back. She's young. And... weirdly familiar. His eyes narrow even further as he squints at her, her small frame dark in front of the crackling fire. She shifts under his intense gaze, body stiff, hands wringing in her lap.

“Sir?” she whispers, lips moving slightly, a sweet voice like honey falling from them. Lips... full, shiny, wet, and a sudden image presses into his hazy mind. Lips parted, closed around –

He clears his throat and leans back with a grunt, wiping at his face, the scrape of his beard against his calloused palm a rough noise in the quiet of the room. He sighs deeply, lowering his hand, resting it on his upper thigh as he watches the girl.

“You shouldn't be here,” he huffs out, wetting his dry lips.

“It's my job, mister,” she says, tilting her head to the other side.

He shakes his head. “This shouldn't be a job... not for a young girl like you...”

“I'm eighteen –”

“You're a child!” he grunts, louder, rougher than intended.

She flinches, inhaling sharply, lowering her big eyes. “Do you want somebody else?” she whispers quietly, almost disappointed.

Suddenly he is aware of the noises around them, bleeding through the walls from the other rooms. Moans and cries and squeaking wood and metal. They crawl over his spine like ants, making him shiver as he stares at the small figure in front of him. Why is he here?

She is still sitting on her knees, stiff and immobile, waiting. For what? Her eyes look up at him, chin tilted, the slender column of her neck visible between her silky hair, soft skin, untouched (really?), innocent. Why is she naked below the waist?

He waves a hand at her, his arm stiff, heavy, the alcohol making everything harder to do. “Shouldn't be here,” he growls, tongue twice its size in his mouth. Does he mean her? Or him? Or both? He doesn't know. His mind is fuzzy, spinning out of control. His cock strains against his tight jeans. But his heart is protesting.

“Sir?” she asks again, blinking slowly, dark lashes batting against pale skin.

He leans back into the chair, inhaling deeply, closing his eyes, relaxing. Big mistake. Suddenly there is a warm hand on his knee, a touch like a pistol shot. He jerks awake, stares down at the girl, who has shifted, kneeling between his spread legs now, the same position, just closer, frozen in time with her other hand hanging in mid-air, ready to touch his other knee.

“What are you doing?” he grunts.

“Giving you a good time,” she replies quietly, and a shy smile curves her full lips. Lips around – He groans, rubbing his face again, his tired eyes. “You paid for this, mister. You should get something for your money.”

He shakes his head, hands back on his thighs, staring down at her. She is closer in her new position, backlit by the fire behind her, features blurring. Both hands are on his knees now, warm and small, hesitant but eager. Her pushed-up breasts nearer, the cleft between them deeper. His hands itch.

“Do you like doing this?” he utters, the words spilling without being processed in his muddled brain.

There is a flinch, a wince, a visible reaction in her tense shoulders. She swallows, her throat moves, but the smile on her lips is there, the lie tangible. “Of course, sir,” she whispers. “Let me show you how much...”

She leans up then, lifting from her knees, her hands sliding up his thighs, almost brushing against his. Actress, he thinks. Nothing more. He can't imagine –

But then he does: full lips around a variety of different – He clenches one hand into a fist, presses it to his upper thigh, straining, ignoring the tension in his stomach. The image stays. Lips, a wide mouth, bulging cheeks, closed eyes, tears streaming down a pale face, slurping sounds, helpless gurgles, muffled gasps, rough hands in her hair as her head is pushed deeper onto –

A groan escapes him. “Fuck,” he growls, shaking his head. His eyes find hers, his breath heavy, his body on edge, the strain in his pants almost unbearable, and yet...

She is settled between his legs, shoulders pressed against his thighs, hands inching closer to his belt. “Don't,” he hisses, and his hands grab hers, making her gasp, her lips parting, eyes widening. His long fingers curl around her smaller ones, holding her, inches from the tent in his pants. She looks startled, then confused.

“But mister...” she whispers, letting him hold her hands, her wrists. His hands are large enough to wrap around it all. Lashes flutter, the tip of her tongue sliding over her upper lip. She trembles slightly.

And then he lets go, and his hands grab her face instead, careful, as careful as he can in his dazed state. She lets out a surprised yelp but stays perfectly still as he cups her cheeks with his big hands, his fingers slipping into her soft hair, his thumbs wiping at the corners of her mouth. She holds his gaze, holds her breath.

“You look like...” he starts, quiet, a low rumble in his chest as he stares at her, his mind spinning, new and old images whirling together.

Soft lips, wet, full, strained around –

Green eyes, sparkling in the sun, a smile, a laugh like honey on his scarred soul.

“Her,” he mumbles, tilting his head, leaning closer until his nose brushes against hers. She stiffens, but doesn't move, can't move with how he holds her face. She swallows slightly, lips trembling against his thumbs.

“Who, sir?” she breathes softly, warm and cautious against his dry lips. Her eyes are on his face, taking in every detail with how close he is. Scars, wrinkles, creases, his rough beard stretching along his jaw, up his cheeks, around his lips, fluttering slightly as he breathes through his nose.

“Keira,” he finally utters, the image clear in his dazed mind. The same woman. No, not the same, similar, and a woman, not a girl. The same hair, the same small nose, the same eyes. “You look like Keira.”

And that's why it feels wrong to use her like he wanted to when he first entered the room, to be here, in this house of moans and grunts and creaking wood and metal.

The girl stares at him, lips parted, face warming under his palms. There's recognition in her deep eyes, darkened by the fire glowing behind her, the only light source. “You... knew my mother?” she whispers, barely audible, shifting back onto her knees, bare legs folded beneath her, her hands straining against his thighs.

His heart sinks and swells at the same time. Mother. Her mother. She looks like her. Like Keira. But what is she doing here? I was born here, she has said. Bound to a life of... servitude. Pleasure for others. A slave, a body to use, for money. The moans and grunts of the other rooms flood his ears, louder than before as his mind clears up, as the shock settles in.

“No,” he says apprehensively, a low hum over his dry lips, and his hands tighten around her delicate face. The girl frowns, he notices his mistake. “I mean, yes, I knew her,” he utters quietly, staring at her, gently caressing the corners of her lips with his thumbs. “I didn't know... about you...”

She blinks slowly, watching him, curiosity in her big eyes. Her lips part, a flood of questions ready to spill over them, but he lets go of her face and leans back, shaking his head.

“What happened to her?” he asks, already afraid of the answer as he drives a big hand through his messy hair.

The small figure between his legs shrinks as she sits down further on her knees, her hands leaving his thighs, resting on her lap. She lowers her eyes, inhales sharply. “I don't know,” she whispers. “She... left me here.” There's a hint of resentment in her soft voice, and he can't blame her. Anger rises in his throat like bile.

“She did what?” he hisses, leaning closer again.

She flinches, looks up. “Madam Claire said she worked here, got pregnant from a customer, gave birth to me, and then left, ran away, without me...” Her voice breaks as she retells her story, and his gut clenches.

The tiny frame in front of him shrinks even more, falls into herself, and he can't stand it. He leans in, brings his hands under her arms and lifts her up, easy, as if she was a doll, her wavy hair bouncing slightly. She struggles in his grip, but then she's sitting sideways on his lap, her very bare bottom warm against the fabric of his jeans. She stiffens when he pulls his arms around her shoulders and her against his broad chest.

“I'm sorry,” he slurs, his tongue heavier than ever.

“What for?” she breathes against his collarbone, where the buttons of his black shirt are open, revealing weathered skin.

He sighs, his hand wide on her back as he holds her, his breath making strands of her hair fly before he presses his dry lips to her warm forehead. She lets out a strangled gasp, tenses in his embrace, her hands squished between his chest and her own. “If I'd known about you – I... wouldn't have left you to this – to endure this fate...” he mutters, his heart as heavy as his tongue.

“Why do you care?” she asks, her voice quiet but curious.

“I loved your mother once, many moons ago, twenty years it must be by now,” he says into her hair, his own voice a deep thrum in her ears. “She left me, one day, and I made the mistake of letting her go. Maybe I pushed her to end up here, maybe she wanted to work like this... she's always been a free spirit, couldn't stay long at one place. I guess... I learned that from her.”

He feels her fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt as she slowly relaxes on his lap, leaning against him, warm and tiny and frail. “What do you mean?”

“I travel a lot,” he says simply, sudden images of tents and horses and wagons filling his mind. But also of masks and guns and blood and shouts, and comically large bags filled with money, cowering people, screaming women, the rattle of a train, the silent squeak of metal doors, splintering wood. And pictures of him, drawn, some more flattering than others, and his name printed all over them. Dead or alive.

She tilts her chin up, big eyes looking at him, her lips parted slightly, long lashes grazing pale skin. He sees her better now, in the orange glow of the fire. She looks like Keira. But she's alone, left to her own devices, forced to work a profession she was born into, that she didn't choose. “What's your name, mister?”

He frowns at her innocent question, trying to forget the Wanted posters. “Ben,” he growls, a deep thrum in his throat. “And yours?”

“Nebbia,” she replies quietly, her eyes wandering over his face, her small body molded into him, warm on his lap, pointy bones digging into his thigh, pressing on his erection. Nebbia like Neigh-bee-ah, long e, more like ehh, short i, like an e, and the little ah at the end, like a soft moan. Rolls off her tongue like honey.

“Nebbia,” he repeats, her name rumbling out of him as he tries to figure out why Keira would name her daughter this. But then a smile crosses his lips. “Fog in Italian,” he whispers and watches how she nods, the same kind of smile curving her lips. He wonders if Keira has made it over the pond, finally seeing the country she always wanted to visit. But why did she leave her kid?

Free spirits can't have children pulling them down, grounding them to the earth, binding them to one place. The poor girl... If Keira knows what happened to her? What she has to do?

Full lips around –

He clears his throat, his big hands resting on her small waist. She still looks at him, somewhat hopeful, big eyes, there's innocence in them, but also something else. A shadow in her green irises. A stain.

“Why aren't you wearing any bottoms, Nebbia?” he asks quietly, his fingers teasing at the curve of her rear.

He sees her blushing, red spots dancing over her pale cheeks. She looks away, a shy smile tugging at her lips. “I figured it'd be easier for you...”

“Easier for me?”

“I heard you were drunk, very drunk,” she whispers into his neck, her fingers fidgeting with the buttons of his shirt. “And I thought –”

He stares at her. In his mind, he can see her lips straining around a variety of cocks, but he can't see her lying on her back with her legs wide open, taking any of those wretched members into her sweet little – “Have you ever...” he starts, furrowing his eyebrows. “Am I your first? Would I be your first?”

She licks her lips, then chews on them. A nod, short and jerky. Eyes dancing over his chest. The sigh that escapes his throat is both filled with anger and relief. She is young. Inexperienced, has never learned the reason why those women in the other rooms cry out in pleasure. She (her mouth) has only been used for the pleasure of others, and that fact only spurs his anger, makes the vein on his forehead pulse.

Why did they choose her to satisfy him? Gimme your best...newest, he hears himself mumble. Newest. Freshly eighteen, huh? Just come of age, open for business. (To think this filthy little brothel has actual rules and has given her time to develop is almost absurd.) He closes his eyes for a moment, relieved it was him who found her without bottoms.

Because he knows he will not soil her innocence.

“I'm gonna take you with me,” he mutters as he closes his arms a little tighter around her, holding her safely on his lap.

“What?” she breathes, trying to look up despite his bear hug.

“I can give you a better life,” he says softly, tilting his head to meet her gaze.

“Why?” Despite her innocent tone, there's doubt in her voice. Disbelief. Why would anyone want to be nice to her?

He laughs darkly. “Because you deserve it?” One of his hands moves up, caresses her warm cheek. “Unless you actually want to keep sucking dicks.”

His lewd words make her flinch, her face flushed as she looks away, takes a sharp breath, her fingers clawing at his shirt. She shifts on his thigh, her body tense. “I... don't...” she mutters under her breath.

“Do you want to come with me?” he asks, pressing his thumb under her chin to make her look up. Her eyes are wet, glistening, her lips trembling.

“Can I?” she whispers, a tiny flicker of hope in the green pools that stare at him.

He smiles, a genuine smile that lights up his rough face, deepening the dimple on his cheek. “If you want to. I can get you out of here, no one will notice anything...” he tells her quietly, watching her closely.

There's turmoil behind her eyes, shivers running down her body, her throat moves when she swallows hard. “They'll be angry with me,” she breathes, blinking, looking away, her eyebrows furrowed. “The women...”

“You don't owe them anything,” he says, the hand on her lower back applying soft pressure, fingers playing with the laces of her corset. “They may have raised you here, but they made you do heinous things that no girl your age should do! No respectable woman without her consent...”

“And the men? Some of them come here only for me...” He stiffens at her words, imagining those sleazy men, salivating at the thought of shoving their cocks down this poor girl's throat. “I bring good money...” He scoffs at that, shaking his head.

“And how much of that do you see, hm?” he asks her, tilting her chin back up so she looks at him. She inhales deeply, avoiding his gaze once more. “Yeah, that's what I thought...”

“I have a comfortable life –”

His hand closes around her throat, long fingers pressing into her skin. She stares at him, gasps, eyes wide. “Sweetheart, you're eighteen now, you're fair game. Men will do anything to you now, fill every single hole you have!” She gasps again, cheeks flushing at his blunt words. “You might have gotten used to sucking dick, but believe me, opening your legs will be a whole other ordeal.”

She frowns at that. “Is sex really that bad?” she whispers, voice feeble, bashful, he's surprised she is able to get these words out at all.

A laugh rumbles through him as he eases his grip on her neck. “No, sex can be amazing, but with the wrong person, there can be a lot of pain and discomfort, and the consequences...” He looks at her, holds her nervous gaze. “You're so young, you deserve better than a drunken guy forcing his cock into your hole, leaving you either completely soiled and sore, or sick, or pregnant...”

She cringes and pulls a breath through her teeth, averting her eyes once more. “You talk so obscenely, mister,” she mumbles.

He breathes out another deep laugh. “It's the harsh truth, darling. That's how the world works, get used to it,” he says matter-of-factly.

“And you want me to go out into that world?” she whispers quietly.

“Trust me, out there you'll be better off than here, if you stay with the right people. I'd worry about your current world,” he mutters, listening to the noises from the other rooms, remembering, despite his haze, how run-down this building is, its clientele, and the state of the whole town.

She can't stay here. He won't leave her, now that he knows of her existence. She's Keira's kid, and unlike her mother, he will never abandon her.

Sighing deeply, he moves his hands along her body, encircling her waist, gripping her gently, before he picks her up and puts her on her feet next to the armchair. She stares at him startled, her hands immediately going down to cover her modesty. He grunts and stands up too, towering over her. She takes a cautious step back as he starts swaying, the alcohol still buzzing inside his head.

“I could really use a bath,” he growls, wiping at his eyes, trying to dispel the dizziness. The girl stands next to him, so tiny and frail, the gentle curves of her legs backlit by the fire, her soft face tilted up to look at him, her long hair cascading down her shoulders. For a moment he is mesmerized by the sight, by how naturally beautiful she is – how out of place she feels.

When he feels the strain in his jeans, he sighs again and turns away, stumbling past her towards the tub in the corner. There's already water in it, a thick layer of soapy foam even, and when he dips a few fingers into it, he notices that it's still a little warm. He can't remember it, but he must have left a good penny in this establishment, for booze, a hot bath, and the best...newest –

He turns back to her. She is still watching him, standing behind the armchair, her hands on the backrest, biting her lip. “Hey kid, you wanna join me?” he calls to her, his fingers already at the buttons of his shirt.

She inhales sharply, then walks around the armchair, her naked legs catching his eye for a moment. “I'm not a kid, mister.”

“Ben,” he corrects with a smirk, now working on undoing his belt. It creates a thud when it falls to the wooden floor, his holster and the heavy pistol pulling it down. Her eyes follow his movements as he undresses, kicks off his boots, steps out of his jeans, shrugs off his shirt. Then her feet tap over the ground as she rounds the tub and stands on the other side.

“Not a kid, Ben,” she whispers, chewing on her lips, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her blouse as she drags it lower to cover the hint of hair between her legs.

She doesn't look away once he is completely naked in front of her, his clothes, gun and bags discarded on a chair, but he can see the red in her cheeks when her eyes flick down to his hard cock, bouncing slightly when he raises a leg and steps into the tub. The semi-warm water lulls his muscles as he sinks into it with a groan, stretching his long legs, leaning back, placing his arms on the edge, before he looks up at her.

“I meant it, Nebbia,” he says softly, tilting his head. “Come join me. I promise you don't have to do anything but sit with me.”

“I... shouldn't...” she whispers, her eyes trailing over his naked chest, half-submerged in the tub, before she looks towards the door. “We're not allowed...”

“I paid for you, didn't I?” She looks back, meeting his gaze, and he smiles at her. “Technically I can do anything to you. But I just want you to enjoy a semi-hot bath. There's still enough room,” he adds and spreads his legs, creating a space between them on the other side of the tub.

She hesitates, and he wonders why. Moments ago she seemed content to give him a good time, as she has called it, but now she is strangely coy for a prostitute who's had her throat fucked countless times before. The image of her lips strained around a cock – his cock maybe? – comes back into his mind, and he has to clench his jaw tightly to fight the urge to grab her and pull her close, do all those things to her that he has warned her about. That he's promised not to do to her.

Eventually she turns around, presenting her well-formed rear to him, those plump little cheeks, well-rounded, squeezable, the cleft between them guiding his eyes between her legs, but when her hands move up to the string holding her corset, he sighs, nodding to himself when he sees her predicament. He reaches out and tugs on the bow with one finger, loosening the tight laces slowly, carefully, and she lets him do so.

The stiff thing falls down her hips once it's loose enough, and she steps out of it, slowly turning back to him as she unbuttons the rest of her blouse and shrugs it off her slender shoulders. He can't help himself, he stares at her naked form.

Keira's kid. Half his age. He's promised her a better life.

And still he can't look away, taking in every detail of her body. How her small breasts perk, nipples hard already, the gentle slope of those mounds he wants to weigh in his big hands. How her hair falls over her shoulders, soft springy waves, silky, the same color as her mother's. His eyes trail down her chest, over the shimmer of ribs under thin skin, the flat stomach and little indent of her belly button. And that small waist, the swell of her hips, soft pale legs, cushioned thighs, and between them, the hint of hair above her sex.

Her skin is pristine, pale like alabaster, unmarked, pure.

There's a blush on her face that slowly spreads down her shoulders and between her breasts, and he has to force himself to close his eyes as she steps closer and lifts a leg to step into the tub – even though he wants nothing more than to take a peek at her sweet little cunt. Unused and innocent. He has to keep it that way.

Water splashes against his stomach when she sits down opposite him, knees bent and pulled against her chest as she settles between his outstretched legs. He looks at her with a gentle smile, and she smiles back, her eyelids fluttering.

“Not bad, eh?” he laughs quietly, moving a fluff of foam towards him with his big hands, then lathers his arms with it. She just sits there on the other side of the tub, watching him.

“Do you really mean it?” she whispers after a moment of both of them just soaking in the water.

“What?” he grunts, leaning his head against the edge of the tub as he slides a little lower, using the space she's left to fully stretch his body.

“That you're going to take me with you,” she replies, her eyes scanning his face.

He sighs, his breath blowing a tuft of foam towards her. “Yes, I mean it. I won't let you stay here, objected to all these... things,” he says. “You're Keira's daughter, and even if she might not have wanted you, I will take care of you.”

She frowns, trying to ignore the sting in her heart, the flinch of her tense shoulders at his words. “But why? You don't know me! And I don't know you! Why should I go with you?”

“You wanna stay here? Rot away and die in ten years or sooner?” His voice is harsh, his eyes dark, his jaw tense. “There's no money to be made if you stay under your Madam's thumb. You'll just be another body with a bunch of holes, destined to take it all, if you want to or not. How is this a life you'd want to continue?”

She licks her lips, her arms hugging her knees tighter. “I have food and a roof above my head...” she says quietly, averting her eyes.

He scoffs. “If that's your standard, then I can assure you that you will never go hungry, always have a comfortable bed, be safe from the elements, when you come with me.”

“But why?” she asks again, finally looking back at him. “Why are you so... nice to me?” She takes a shuddering breath. “Just because I'm the kid of a love lost?”

“I thought you weren't a kid,” he teases, and she groans with a slightly exasperated smirk. “I know it's a rare thing for people to just be nice nowadays, but you can trust me. I'm a good guy,” he lies through his teeth, a glint in his eyes.

“And you expect me to believe that?” she says, shifting in the tub, extending her legs slightly, her feet brushing against his inner thighs. “I might not know how the world works, but I see the men coming here. I've seen all types. And you look like the type I might encounter on a Wanted poster.”

He raises his eyebrows, his lips twitching. “Interesting assessment, missy. And you can tell by just looking at a man's cock?”

She grunts in indignation and splashes water towards him. He laughs and shields his face with one arm. “A fine gentleman would never talk like that...” she mumbles.

His laughter gets even louder. “And you expect a fine gentleman to walk into this establishment? Do you know where you are?” She scoffs and crosses her arms in front of her chest, slowly stretching out her legs until he can feel the soles of her feet pressing right against his groin. “Careful now,” he warns.

Her cheeks are flushed, but that doesn't stop her from rubbing her foot upwards and along his hard shaft, pressing it into his lower stomach. He watches her closely, holding in a groan. And she looks right back, green eyes hard and a dark smile on her full lips. Lips around his cock. He leans back and lets out the noise he has been suppressing. Her toes curl around his tip, his breath hitches in his throat.

And he savors the moment, just a moment, a few seconds, because it feels good. She is good, doing what she does. Would be a shame to stop her now, hm? But then he leans in and lowers his hands into the water, grabbing her ankle, stopping her after all. She yelps quietly as he pulls her leg towards him, causing her to slip. Her hands squeak along the edge of the tub as she tries to hold onto it, but before her head submerges, he lets go of her, letting her leg rest on top of his thigh.

She scrambles back into a sitting position, her eyes on him, her lips parted. “I don't have a choice, do I?” she then whispers, allowing him to put his big hand on her shin, holding her there.

He smiles at her, his eyes twinkling. “Correct, sweetheart. I will force you to have a better life, no matter what,” he says quietly, rubbing his hand up her leg.

She inhales deeply and leans back, her arms resting on the edge, hands hanging off, as she relaxes in the water, under his touch, with her bare chest exposed to him. Trusting. “You're a strange man, mister... Ben,” she whispers, smiling softly as she watches him.

He grips her thigh gently, winking at her. The buzz from the alcohol is as good as gone, replaced with a different kind of vertigo. Ignoring the twitching of his cock under the water surface, he keeps his eyes on the girl in front of him, taking in her features, a strange warmth gathering in his stomach.

He came here to celebrate the successful heist, drink himself stupid and have a good fuck afterwards. He hasn't expected to meet Keira's kid here, to be this attracted to her, to tell her he wants to take her with him. But he has, is, does, all of it, he wants her by his side, wants to give her a chance at a different life, away from pleasuring strangers every night of the week.

Does he want her for himself? Maybe. But he still also genuinely wants her to be happier, be herself, have the freedom that he has. She deserves it. And he does too, selfishly so, to have her.

🟪 Chapter 2

END NOTES: Hello and welcome to my first original work (that I share with you)! Thank you for reading!

Please note that I am no expert on anything wild west/western/horses/cowboys/brothels/etc. - I write silly little love/smut stories. This story, even though it's not mentioned, is set at the end of the 1800s somewhere in the west, I'm keeping it vague on purpose, this is about Ben and Nebbia.

AO3 -- MASTERLIST -- INSPIRATION POSTS