#fwiw I am taken but asks are appreciated

[ftmghost]

Love it when a fakeboy has a normal-looking blog but then their likes are public so everyone can see what they really are💖

Exposing myself out here :3

[she-likesorchids]

I'm going with anon on this although I am a regular reader of your works/blog. It's in reference to a recent blog post about feeling like people find you annoying, etc. I don't know if you're referring to online interactions or F2F with people, but I'm sorry you feel that way.

FWIW, you're being awfully hard on yourself. I suppose it's easier said than done to relax that inner voice, but at the same time, perhaps people do not find you annoying at all? Not sure of the social situations to which you refer, but those cover a lot of ground when you think about it. For example,, chatting with acquaintances about one's passions is slightly different than friends. I am awful with reading cues from people (F2F) and then in text, there is the whole issue of reading tone and intent. Perhaps in the interactions, there are contextual communications that make you feel one way but the person(s) don't believe you're that way at all. Or, there are issues of which you are unaware that are making the communication difficult (for example, I had a personal loss that I didn't feel comfortable sharing with anyone too far outside of my social circle, but it did affect my ability to be a good listener on occasion so my attention was divided. I sometimes think that the old way of going into mourning helped with such types of interactions)

Anyway, I hope you don't interpret this as me telling you how to feel. Far from it. You feel the way you feel because that is what humans do. Feel. What I am attempting to relate is to encourage you to not give up on social interactions because it could just be that there are plenty of people who share your passions or enjoy listening to you describe your passions (it can be contagious you know!) or whose cues are being misinterpreted. Or, not. I suppose there are enough assholes or people who don't listen very well--we've all run into those types. But, those people are missing out on some really great conversations aren't they?

Sorry for the length of the 'ask.' I have a friend (not on Tumblr) who frequently calls me and one of the first things I used to do (and still do although nowadays she pre-empts me with a 'I need to vent') was ask her if she needed a problem solved or if she needed to vent. The reason being was that sometimes we just need someone with which to share our frustrations but not go into the 'here is what you might try mode.' Both can be positive interactions or negative depending upon the perspective of the two and I always liked to get that squared away so we weren't at cross purposes if that makes sense.

I wasn't sure if you were venting or otherwise, but again, FWIW, you matter and so do your feelings. Take care.

Heya nonnie!

Sorry it has taken me a few days to respond, you gave me alot to think about, lol.

Honestly, since no one interacted with that post, I didn't think anyone saw or cared, so thank you for making me feel valid and seen. It means alot.

I guess it's a combination of both online and IRL interactions. It's hard to make friends as an adult, and I am at the age where everyone has kids, and I am child free by choice, so I feel excluded from my real life friends quite a bit. I know people are just busy, and that's probably it, but my stupid brain just thinks everyone hates me.

The fact is, I am just lonely. Being disabled and chronically ill is incredibly isolating, and having online friends I interact with helps tremendously, but I just end up feeling like I'm bothering people.

I appreciate your very kind words, and the encouragement. This is something I have been working through with my therapist, and it's getting better, but I still have bad days.

Much love to you and anyone reading this!

[circesoracle]

i'm sorry you feel down about your writing, i meant to send this earlier but better late than never so i hope it's ok. fwiw i think you're one of the most talented writers out there! i don't write myself so i hope it's not dismissive but i'm curious to know what success would look like for you (cause i already think you're v successful & creative, who's writing actually good fshep liara stories yknow?) and what readers can do to better support you so you can feel proud of your creations

I’ve taken a bit of time to think about how to respond to this, so I’m sorry for the delay and for the long answer.

I’m going to assume that you ask this genuinely and with good intentions, and I thank you for your kind words. However, I’ve struggled with how to respond to the two questions in a way that’s honest. I fear honesty will come across as pathetic or asking for attention, or worse, seem accusatory towards a particular fandom. I’ll do my best regardless.

I am an extremely anxious person with very little self esteem. I have had family, friends, girlfriends, professors, acquaintances even who completely destroyed any sense of worth I possess, both in general and in regards to my writing. I used to take pride in my writing, and I used to like it, but over time, people have worn me down, and I can no longer see it as anything less than awful. To give you a feeling of what I mean, here’s a personal experience I’ve never shared with anyone out of fear of empty platitudes and pity.

I applied to my university’s creative writing programme, and within a week was asked to withdraw by the professor because he hated my writing style so much that he told me it would be better for my GPA to drop out. I didn’t write for personal enjoyment for months. I ended up in a depressive spiral so bad I considered killing myself more than once. I changed my major out of English into Communications and New Media out of shame, extending my degree by multiple years when it should have been coming to its end.

I also compare myself to others, which is easy on AO3. You’re extremely kind to say I seem successful, but I can say categorically I am not, in any of the fandoms I post for, successful. My fics don’t compare to other recent postings, with the most successful fic of mine performing middling in a relatively small fandom. Even numbers aside, my fics aren’t good enough to be talked about, or shared around, they don’t inspire art, they barely inspire comments and even those are almost entirely from a small group of dedicated readers(who I cherish dearly and would not still be writing without the support of).

The one which bothers me the most and is the cause of most of my anxiety is Eternity’s Embrace. This is for a number of reasons I would prefer not to discuss openly.

Success, to me, are fics which get art and endless praise and are shared around. Right or wrong, that’s what I define as success, and it is a bar, simply put, I will never meet. I am not good enough. I try to ignore it, but it’s hard. It doesn’t bother me all the time, but when I’m low it’s another thing for my mind to fixate on.

Speaking in terms of Eternity’s Embrace, I have a number of readers who do support me, but they dwindle in numbers with every update and it feels like posting to an empty void. I can’t ask anything more of them, as the few there are(it’s about four of them) already comment in wonderful ways, and they’re the reason I keep posting. My anxieties are not their problem, nor are they yours. If I have more than four readers, that’s news to me as really no more than four or five will comment, which with a long multichapter fic is the only means of knowing anyone likes it.

This is all to say I likely will not be posting a new chapter of Eternity’s Embrace this week, if anyone has bothered reading this far.

Thank you again for your message, I’m glad you enjoy what I write, I appreciate everyone who lets me know they do. My apologies, for the lengthy and delayed response, I only wanted there to be context for why I do express a low opinion of my writing.

[sixmorningsafter]

76 Theses

Oh hey there, Gabi. Long time no see. Hope your summer is going well as if I don’t already know because I follow you on Instagram, and I hope your med school prep isn’t destroying you I’m going to grad school in the fall, so girl I can only imagine. EDIT: GIRL HOW DID YOU POST A CHAPTER TWO DAYS BEFORE YOU MOVED AND STARTED OVER IN ANOTHER PLACE FOR FREAKIN’ MED SCHOOL

LMAOOOO FWIW I didn’t start over, I literally moved like 30 minutes away (and my family did a solid 75% of the work because what are big over-involved Puerto Rican families for). Summer was GLORIOUS. And 6 months ago, loooooool, I’M THE WORST. But you’re the best. This review is the best. Hope you’re crushing grad school (I know you are instinctively but I also know you are because I’ve talked to you about it and despite your humble nonsense I can tell you’re killin’ it). ANYWAY, diving on in to this literary masterpiece of a review:

Anyways, let me start by saying, literally every time you post a new chapter, I think “I’m ready, let’s go”. But literally, every time I read a new chapter, I am not ready, and you slay me every single freakin’ time. Dude, I have no clue how you do it, but every time, I die. Any more deaths, and I’d be a freakin’ Winchester.

A/N: looooool that’s incredible because every time I post a new chapter I think ‘this is it, this is where everyone realizes I don’t actually know how to write, it’s been fun’. But in all seriousness, girl, the fact that you make a point to send reviews after every chapter and go into detail like this is just–like honestly it’s reason enough to crank out 30K words of my bullshit. Not even kidding. If literally no one but you read this story I’d still write it because getting your hilarious whip-smart reviews are life. It’s so appreciated. It’s so appreciated.  

Off the bat, while you may believe this is a “filler” chapter, it is a damn good filler I wish I could write filler chapters as nicely and uniquely wtf. If you meant filler as in full of wonderful delightfulness, then yas girl this is the filler-est of filler chapters. Because if you meant this is some fluff piece that has nothing of substance, if you thought for once second that we aren’t thriving off the Bamon drama of the Steroline giggles, we’d all have to chase you out of town good thing you’re already moving.

This chapter is amazing, and on a personal spiritual level, I still can not get over your similes. I know that sounds silly and amateur, but while you’re hella awesome at metaphors, your similes, dude, are unique af, and every single time I write something that barely resembles something you’ve written, I’m staring at my screen like what the actual fuck is the nonsense? Sooooo, rest assured, this chapter is awesome (to be explained in great detail), and you’re awesome too (also to be explained in greater detail).

LMAOOOOO CASSIE I HAD TO LOOK UP WHAT A FUCKING SIMILE WAS HELP ME WHY AM I HERE. But DUDE, I actually have some words to say about this, the first ones being - GAH. Thanks so, so much love. I’m beaming. The second ones being - I ALWAYS think they’re weird when I write them. Seriously. Like that feeling you said you get when you try getting creative with a description is the exact same one I get -ROLL WITH IT. I had to learn that by just sucking it up and posting shit with unusual descriptions and then seeing what kind of feedback I got for it (which tbh makes it sound like I’ve been doing it for a while lololol but I actually just recently started challenging myself to get more creative with my descriptions for things). It actually came from constantly reading writing with cool imagery (Six of Crows was a great one!) and realizing that they never fell back on tired/common metaphors. They always used something unique (Kaz’s voice being like dry leaves scattering across pavement or w/e? Lmao you know how I felt about the constant descriptions of Kaz’s voice but I loved that one). I’m clearly nowhere near that level but I’ve definitely taken to stopping a few times while writing and going, ‘Wait. This is a chance to come up with something cool. Slow down. Do better.’ Cause tbh I have no instinct for it. I don’t think in creative metaphors or similes or whatever. But if I labor over it for a minute or two I can maybe come up with something, so yeah, THE POINT OF ALL THIS BEING - it probably sounds a lot better to a reader than it will to you. They feel and read unnaturally to me because they don’t come naturally to me, lol, but the people reading probs don’t know that so trust yourself! Do it! Knowing you and your talent they’re probably incredible.

Okay, so, in an attempt not to be mundane, let’s go through this fav line by fav line please forgive me if I just rewrite the whole chapter because ff.net doesn’t let you copy/paste

“She remembered feeling alarmed, a little helpless, like a plastic bag caught in the middle of a hurricane” (us FL girls can spot one another from miles away) (but also???? great simile). Poor Damon, but also poor Bonnie. This girl is just tryna help—it’s the core of her being, tbh—and this boy is too proud. Not like proud-proud, but that oh-shit-I’m-exposed proud. You know.  A/N: AMERICAN BEAUTY REFERENCE WHADDUP. Lol I was channeling that plastic bag shot at the end of the movie. Granted there’s no hurricane in that but you know, us Florida girls put hurricanes into everything. And yeah, that’s a great read on Damon. His pride/confidence is something he uses as a shield more than anything, which isn’t to say it’s fake exactly, but more so something he relies on to stay detached and not really have to deal with things. It’s easy for him to be like ‘world sucks, I don’t care’. Anytime anyone sees below that confidence/armor, though, it’s really destabilizing for him because it makes the reality of his fears/anxieties harder to ignore, ya know?

Kai calling out “Friends?” is the most relatable thing. He’s a murdery little bean.

“And sure, maybe she’s being a giant, hypocritical pot to his doesn’t-deal-with-childhood-trauma kettle…” Yes girl, these lines are really awesome. Also, I like how Bonnie recognizes the cycle right away. She’s like ‘been there done that broseph’.

“Do you have any pop tarts?” this girl asks. Lol when you stress eat. Btw, we never find out if she got them??? I need answers???? I feel like Kai could 3D print pop tarts if he needed to.

“Toodles”: I had a friend (loose usage of the term) in hs who used to say that, for real, and it’s funny ‘cause she was this gossipy diva (Bekah?) and reading this just sent me back. Also, toodles is such a passive-aggressive thing to say, especially for Care. I don’t think toodles has ever been said without the backing vocal of ‘I hate you please die’.

“… the prospect of going through the whole song and dance made her bones ache, it was so tiring.” FINALLY, CAROLINE, YOU’RE FREE OF THE CURSE I can tell not really, but, at least, we’re getting through some of that warding doe. RIGHT!? Lol I was excited to put that bit in because it was sort of my attempted nod to everyone reading that it was okay (actually encouraged!) to feel frustrated with Caroline’s constant mood swings because she herself hated them. They weren’t meant to be read as a some ‘fascinating complicated girl’ thing, you know? I feel like a lot of shows (esp. with male writers) like to write these female characters that are difficult and volatile for the sake of being ‘interesting’ and I kind of wanted everyone to know that I wasn’t going for that. Caroline’s coming from a place of fear. She knows what she’s doing isn’t fair. She knows it’s angering and more trouble than it’s worth. And even more than that, she hates it just as much as everyone else does, and by the time we hit chapter 16, she’s finally too drained to listen to that frantic instinct to self-preserve. She just throws caution to the wind and lets it go. It’s still scary for her but what can you do. But you’re right, she’s getting there!

***Side Note*** when is Tyler gonna be a thing, I need some sma Tyler in my life rn Me toooooooo he’s my husband. He should be popping in for 18 or 19!

Stefan’s recap of what happened, “you planned the homecoming dance at the same time as the football game”/”False” is great. I really love your back-and-forth dialogue, like always, ‘cause it’s natural and it’s funny as hell. Idk, when I write it (or sometimes when I read other people’s), it doesn’t have that same fast pace hilarity. Maybe that’s just me. It’s definitely just you cause I’ve read your dialogue and it’s hilarious, but one thing I’ve found that super speeds up dialogue is removing the dialogue tags. Seriously. Makes a world of difference. Like I don’t think it’s even possible to write an extended snappy exchange with dialogue tags tbh, cause your mind will just naturally slow it down to read the description. Half the time I go back to edit, I’m just removing unnecessary dialogue tags or descriptions that felt needed at the time. It helps if you can pick dialogue that sort of speaks for itself in terms of how it’s said, too (and realizing that once you’ve set the tone of a conversation, you really don’t need to keep re-emphasizing that tone - it really only needs to be addressed if there’s a shift imo). Also, I’ve kind of found that leaving out subjects can both make dialogue sound way more natural and also speed it up. Like even in the example you used below: “You’re ridiculous”/ “Effective” / “Terrifying”/ “Productive”/ “And impressive as hell” it wouldn’t read the same if it was: “You’re ridiculous.” “I’m effective.” “You’re terrifying.” “I’m productive.” “And you’re impressive as hell.” See how it slows it down? And throw in dialogue tags and it’s even slower. “You’re ridiculous,” he said. “I’m effective,” I countered. “You’re terrifying,” he replied. “I’m productive,” I quipped. “And you’re impressive as hell,” he concluded. To me that just completely changes the speed/flow. So yeah, there’s my unsolicited advice on snappy dialogue, lolololol.

Caroline’s interjection: “Systematic overview” lol

“You’re ridiculous”/ “Effective” / “Terrifying”/ “Productive”/ “And impressive as hell”—ooooo, Stefan! Your heart-eyes are showing! 

***Side Note*** so, uh, are we ever gonna find out what Stefan allegedly did? Muahaha yes. Kind of. Iz cute.

His deadpan face eased into a smile—one of those twinkling, warm ones that reminded her of honey spilling off a spoon—and predictably, annoyingly, her stomach did a flutter—gold. I feel like you can really get away with lines like this when it comes to Steroline because a) Caroline is a writer and b) Stefan is a Disney prince I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU USED THAT BTW I’M GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF BUT DUUUUDE LISTEN I have so much fun writing in Caroline’s PoV because I can write things in a way that I can’t with other characters. I think you’ll see a lot of that in 17 when Caroline dives into her Matt history. And Stefan’s fun because he’s such a fucking sap so I can get as dumb as I want. He has a scene in 17 where I’m like ‘jesus christ dude get a grip’. Damon’s my annoying son because he’s closed off as hell so I always have to keep his thoughts muted and on-the-brink-of-something. Bonnie probably comes the most easily. Anyway, there’s my response to a question that was never even asked.

“It was the elephant in the room, big and obvious and floating over their heads like a light-up blimp. None of this frothy, chit-chat matters, it read in a glitzy, scrolling marquee, waving its animatronic trunk, y’all are fake.” … Does it ever get exhausting? Knowing that you’re literally the best at this metaphorical imagery thingies that need an actual name so I can use it and throw it in your face like, look at this gabi, think about what you’ve done? I almost cut that out because I thought it would feel random! See? That was one of those ‘pause’ moments where I almost left it as ‘the elephant in the room’ and then was like ‘you can do better than that’, and then after I extended it I was like ‘that sounds weird as hell but whatever roll with it’. So roll with yours, girl!

“An awkward beat passed as they regarded each other in the bright, exposing overhead light”/ “the lighting too clinical for such a personal conversation”. So, recently, coupling physical and metaphorical description has really been my jam, and I am so totally digging this. I have this weird thing where I feel like the lighting has to be soft for intimate conversations and if it’s not I’m like not in the right headspace for it, looool. So I’m glad you’re weird about that with me!

“[Katherine] was tough. Cynical. Her arms would lock tightly around him, jaw set, damning the world and the fucked up people in it.” Nice glimpse at the infamous Katherine Pierce. Can’t wait for a possible cameo from her in the future. NYE! Hopefully. I might be overselling NYE.

“Melted, really, like a clock in a fucking Dali painting.” Ok so like, do you Google this shit or is your brain just going a million miles a minute, coming up with stellar ways of impressing us (me)? Like jfc Gabi, calm down. LOOOL okay that one was instinctive because I compare legit every melty thing to a Dali clock. My sister’s cat has no bones and liquifies into whatever space she inhabits and we call her a melted clock.

“Floaty, useless goddamn feathers” this is cute i’m fine

“The Tylers” mention: Tyler believes in love? Is Tyler a Stefan, and that’s why Defan gels? Does Tyler have a girlfriend or boyfriend or a something?!?!? How cute! I feel like the best way to describe Tyler is like… surprisingly well-adjusted. Like he definitely had some shitty things go down in his life (abusive dad), but he had a loving mom and an unexpected support system in Damon and Katherine and because of that, he’s grown up to be this easy-going, confident guy. He’s definitely got a wild streak because of Damon and Katherine, but even when he went out with them they always kept an eye on him, always kept him out of the real dangerous stuff. He grew up loved. So when it comes to romantic love, he’s a casual optimist about it. He’s not some heart-on-his-sleeve romantic, but he believes it’s out there. His issue is kind of that he gets along with everyone (one of those types), so no one’s really knocked him off his feet yet love-wise. “The Carolines”: oh shit, called out. I love that he can read her like a goddamn book even though they aren’t anything under the surface at all. Like that just shows how good he is at this. Yessss, love that interpretation. I kind of wanted to emphasize how much he has everyone pegged so that it would heighten the contrast to how much he keeps having to redefine Bonnie.

“She’d cracked his varnish”—nice—“so thoughtlessly, like it wasn’t something he relied on”—oh shit—“and for what?/ “For shits and giggles? To see if she could?” Like usually I can handle these lines I’m lying but how sad and fucked up is it that Damon thinks Bonnie was only kind to him for something. I totally understand his mindset (like get where he’s coming from), but jfc honey, Bonnie is the Hufflepuffiest (which kudos btw for using the house for both ships, nice nice, I’m honored on behalf of us honey-badgers) and she literally didn’t try to help for anything. He def. struggles with the idea of people being kind for no reason. AND YAS GIRL HONEY BADGERS UNITE! KINDNESS EVERYWHERE! YOU get some kindness. YOU get some kindness! ERRBODY IN DA CLUB GETTIN KINDNESS.

“He scoffed again, shaking his head—worry. Concern./ “Unwanted things.” CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IS THE SHIT, MAN. All us writers out here (or just me idk) are screaming and, probably totally weeping.

“Her eyes looked a little buggy in her magnifying goggles, hair in a mess of curls, and instantly, unwantedly, he felt a bit of the cool distance warm right off him.” Oh silly boy. Like you can actually resist how adorable Bon-bon is. Also, love nerd!Bonnie, can she come back some more? I’m going to incorporate it into 17! I think. Lmao I will now.

“It means I don’t need you to fucking fix me.” Yikes, dude. I always worry that those mood-shift lines aren’t going to pack enough of a punch so I love when you single them out.

“One little emotion glitch”… It’s really interesting you put it this way. Stefonnie are all heartstrings and mush, and Daroline are very ones-and-zeros, very programmed­-and­-defined. And this ties into Kai’s “logic” speech, because while these no-strings-attached sillies think they can avoid what makes us all human, they’ve got another thing coming. These fools are just as sappy-feely as their romantic counterparts. TRUEFAX.COM I wanna change the story description to just that ^^ 

“Relax.” IF THAT SHIT ISN’T THE MOST ANNOYING THING EVER I HAVE NO IDEA HOW BONNIE DIDN’T DECK HIM RIGHT THERE. Not to call him out, but my boyfriend does this whenever I get worked up, and I’ve warned him, next time he tells me to relax, he’s getting hit. I literally read Damon’s “relax” in my bf’s voice, and I got so irritated. (Great job). I THINK YOU MEAN YOUR FIANCÉ WHHHAAAATTTTTT

“Your blood type was ‘tequila’.”

“Does that bother you” / “Not as much as it bothers you” OOOO GIRL EXPOSE HIM YAS another line I hoped packed a punch.

“Cat, is he lying?” lol when do they actually name her Never.

“Casually vibrant and loose” reminds me of sunshine for some reason. Sunshiny Caroline is my fav.

“Bonnie’s Caroline. Spirited. Brassy… A hell-raiser with a sparkling stare and a laugh like a bell.” Stefan, babe, stop.

“Badgering the witness!” LOL I’m using this in b&b, you’ve been warned, bye DO IT.

“Memory Lane was closed.”/ “Detour to Platonic Avenue”: good, good, keep it up. I love how they end up talking about it anyways? And it’s lowkey a daroline convo, but without a doubt, Damon would flirt it up, and it’d probably end in more sex, but these two goofballs I swear: “Told you I was the class skank”  and “it takes years of training” but also “No room left behind” “Nothing is good enough to make me forget about how much I hate heights” / “I am” OH SHIT IT’S GETTIN’ HOT IN HERE. But also????? Excellent example of what I was saying (re: daroline convo); Caroline lapsed into her natural, flirty confidence, not even realizing GIRL HOW AREN’T YOU REALIZING how something so saucy, that would naturally turn on Stefan, can’t be said so casually. HAHAHA honestly as I was writing that I was like ‘careful what you wish for steffy bear’ because like you said, that is natural Caroline. She’s confident, flirty, vibrant, etc, and if Stefan was already falling for the prickly, self-preserving version, how did he expect to survive this one, you know? I don’t approve of these characters’ dumb ass decisions I just write them.

“You’re Lawyer Dangerous-ing me, aren’t you?” and “Wow, I ruined you.” Love it. I feel like Kol pulled this shit on Caroline, and she lowkey trusts her brother, so she fell for things like this all the time. LOOOL Kol’s such a menace.

“You didn’t think you were Buttercup, did you?” / “That’s embarrassing”: I love sma Stefan so much. I liked tvd at one time, but that’s for another day lololol we’ve discussed this.

“Ugh, montage love” I’m sorry Gabi, are you in sma too? ya know every now and then I have to insert my frustration with how dumb everyone is.

“Was it real if the sun started to fade after a few years? Was it real if the gravity weakened and he had to struggle to stay in her atmosphere? Was it real if another planet got pulled in, too, one he could never see because it was always on the exact opposite side of her, moving in tandem with him, eclipsed by her glow?” Shit, girl. Like, go home already. Gah, thanks love. Another case of ‘pause. Think. You can do better.’ I’m telling you, you just have to roll with it!

“I don’t regret a second of that” oh Stefan, you lovesick fool

“I’m like a human Bermuda Triangle” love

“Just give him the Disney Prince look” and the process of him going through it, and him being like, “This is just my face” I’m dead.

“Danger Zone” lmfaoooooo, followed by “Whatever, Piss Pants”. Sounds like a classic Caroline x Kol moment Honestly, it was so nice to write them just having an easy convo, lololol. And TOTALLY a Care x Kol type exchange. Oh, Kol. I can’t wait to write him over the Christmas chapter(s). 

“Bonnie knew the ball was in her court to be the bigger person” to “…they all made her feel caught between telling him that everything was going to be okay and asking him if he wanted a gold fucking star.”/ “Unfortunately, the latter seemed to be winning out.” Okay, so I have to admit this: this “petty, four-year-old” Bamon is a little shamefully like me and my boyfriend. We’re like the diluted version of bamon in this fic. I’m the nerd/caring one, my bf is the cynical/well-read one, and we’re both petty af, and our form of affection is kinda like bamon’s back-and-forth. I mean, we’re not as fucked up at all, but idk, I see parts of our relationship in bamon, which is why they are otp does that mean I think ryan and I otp? maybe but I don’t like being gross. Anyways… FIANCÉ RYAN. CASS IS GETTING MARRIED Y’ALL. I OTP YOU GUYS ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US SO IT’S FINE.

“Must be depressing” / “Don’t worry about it” / “Just means it doesn’t matter” / “Because isn’t that the human way?” Ooooo this shit boils my blood this is the kind of crap ryan pulls sometimes omg but moreover, this baiting thing is so aggravating. Say what you want to say and be done with it! WEDDING BELLS AND RIIIINNNIIINNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG LMAO literally any mention of you and Ryan’s going to bring that response out of me bye

“I mean, didn’t you tell me last night that your biggest fear is that something’s wrong with you and it’s only a matter of time before everyone else figures it out?” and Bonnie’s internal monologue “her head was caught in a hum as she tried to shake off the burn of hearing her biggest insecurity thrown in her face, casual, smug”. I got to admit, Gab, you really know how to write ‘em. Like I was literally hanging on every sentence like oh. My. GOD. DAMON WENT THERE.

Side Note: this whole scene had me all sorts of fucked up, and like damn girl, you really know how to write ‘em. Like I felt for Bonnie. Not in a personal way, but like having someone just throw your deepest fear in your face? Someone who you were just warming up to? Like shit.

GIRL thanks so much, that scene definitely took some tweaking. I always stress about those moments because it takes me so long to get a sense for exactly what kind of mood I built (cause I’m almost like… already in the mood when I start writing it so I don’t actually know if I built it or not? Like if someone who wasn’t me would feel it through the writing alone? Does that make sense? I always try to explain this and fail). But anyway, gah, so glad this pulled you in. Like it’s one thing to try and be funny and fail at it (my life) but for some reason it’s way more nerve-wracking to me to try and be dramatic/intense and fail at it. 

 Kai’s crème-bru-yay is like opening Pinterest and seeing the first promoted post lol.

Damon’s “would it kill you to stay for one dessert” and her “it might kill you”, which I translated to “I might kill you, you fucker” Exactly what it meant.

The Bon/Kid talk. Nice. I love how it parallels to the Care/Stef talk earlier (dunno if you did this on purpose?) Nope, but I’m going to pretend I’m put-together enough of an author to do things like that and say of course.

“I don’t even know what your vulnerabilities are, Damon!” Have you read Lee’s “Parachute” bamon fic. Damon asks, “Do I ever say anything I don’t mean?” and Bonnie says something like Uh yeah, you say whatever will bother people the most. That. That is so true, and I didn’t realize it until I read it in her fic. Noooo, I haven’t, but now I really need to!

He was a friggin’ serial killer and they’d played right into his game Jesus fucking Christ they were all going to di—I love how off the rails Bonnie’s thoughts are. Like she’s stilly lowkey pissy at Damon, but at the same time, she’s like we’re gonna die. LOL that’s why Bonnie’s the easiest for me to write, because I too am often balancing serious emotions with cracky off-the-rails thoughts. 

“I’m sorry but what the everloving fuck, dude?” So, first, amazing line lmfao; second, amazing scene, my friend. Damon, somehow, talking Kai down? Like who would have thought? “Not a good look, man.” I’m dead.

Jk that line is getting it’s own number. Just reading it makes me think that Damon must’ve said something like this to Tyler. Must have. Like, maybe Tyler’s talking about how he got into a fight at school, or maybe about how he screwed things up with a girl—idk idc, big brother!Damon is a good look. Toootally! I was 100% channeling big bro!Damon there, and I definitely hoped people would connect it back to Tyler. Tyler’s just someone that Damon wants better for, you know? Like him and Katherine take him along on their wild rides but like I said earlier, Damon definitely doesn’t want him to live the same kind of life or make the same kind of mistakes/sacrifices he’s made. So I can totally see him steering him off that path if he senses him heading down it. And just in general, so happy you liked that scene. It was one of the scenes I was most pumped for ‘cause I live for feels, and I thought it showed really cute sides of both Damon and Kai.

Kai’s fun fact about Dante, and Damon’s plain, “Bummer” lol.

Kai’s “Did you mean what you said earlier…thinking I was cool…?” I seriously don’t know how you made a serial killer adorable but how dare you :D

“Boyish, almost, like he was some angsty teen she’d walked in on listening to Britney Spears”, oops you did it again I’m hilarious my friend, you played with my heart for fantastic similes. Like, this one just epitomizes what you wanted it to, this sheepish, caught-in-the-moment-of-a-good-deed kinda thing. Like, Gabi, stop Yeeeesssss that was exactly what I wanted to get across but I wasn’t sure I got it across so YAY. Goes to show you. You never think that of your own stuff. Idk why this review response is turning into a giant PSA on cutting yourself some slack with your own writing but CUT YOURSELF SOME SLACK WITH YOUR OWN WRITING PEOPLE.

‘you are so much more than you think you are, you piece of shit’—see, that’s my kind of “terms of endearment”. LOL mine too.

Caroline vs. Cat, illustrated by “Are you trying to die?” is very much like me vs. a cat except I’m super allergic, so I’m doing the dying LOOOOOL love ya, Cas.

“Stefan!” She blustered out of her room with a scowl, padding down the hallway in Bonnie’s too-small Gryffindor slippers. First off, Caroline calling Stefan. Secondly, Caroline calling Stefan to be a meditator between her and the cat. Thirdly, why does Bonnie had Gryffindor slippers if she is clearly (eh) Hufflepuff (she could easily be Ravenclaw tbh). LMAO so I made them Hufflepuff at first and then I remembered Bonnie had a Gryffindor shirt and I thought it’d be funny for her to just randomly have paraphernalia from every house because she can’t decide who she is and goes through phases where she’s super convinced she’s one house and then it changes a few months later.

“Tide of amusement”/ “Wash of endearment”: teach me your wayssss I read that as ‘teach me your waaaavvveeesss’ we’re both hilarious

“Saint Stefan”: I really like (and appreciate) that Caroline is the one calling him this. That it’s not some jealous brother, but some girl who blatantly misunderstood him and is coming to the conclusion that maybe this savior complex isn’t as bad/ingrained as she thought. Honestly even just reading ‘jealous brother’ gave me such TVD PTSD. Gross. I’m with ya, girl. 

Stefan’s advice, “Dazzle him with that Rebekah charm” literally is the most Dad thing I’ve ever seen lmao

“Demon.” / “Demons everywhere.” Lolololololol

“Do your thing. Give me the sisterhood spiel or whatever Hallmark collection it was you were planning on plagiarizing.” Well shit. I’d probably pay to hear Damon and Rebekah’s verbal sparring. LMAO Damon vs. Rebekah would be amazing. I feel like they’d be fast friends, which makes me laugh because Kol would totally idolize Damon and yet him and Rebekah would loathe each other.

“But more importantly… Tiffany will be social media stalking you every inch of the way, seething with jealousy, so take a lot of pictures.” I love how she gives the realest advice, and then brings it to Rebekah’s level lol. I feel like big sister!Caroline is something we were deprived of and didn’t know it. Hahaha you know Rebekah would totally ignore that shit if it didn’t circle back to making her nemesis miserable. But sister!Caroline is definitely something I want to do more of, so I’m so happy you liked that side. Christmas time will give her and Kol some quality time (and Mama Liz!)

“I’m going to need some tea,” she says lmao.

 Oh this is the thing I was talking about when I referred to Lee’s fic: “he’d know before he’d even opened his mouth that he was going to hate what came out” and “why the hell had he even gone there? He could’ve just told her he needed space”. Very similar. You guys had the same revelation. That’s rad - I definitely have to go read her fic. Lee’s writing is always brilliant.

“Unfortunately, the hole he’d just managed to dig himself into had an echo, and the only sound in it was the disbelieving crack in Bonnie’s voice when she’d confronted him about bring up her parents.” Right in the heart.

“But maybe she thought he was a megadouche” he cares what she thinks! “Maybe she was waiting for him to prove that he wasn’t.”

“You missed a spot” / “A harsh spray of water cut him off from the pull-out faucet she’d shot straight at him”—if this petty shit isn’t me & ryan CAS AND RYAN ARE GETTING MARRIEDDDDDDDDDD

“And mean.” I love that tack on, it’s so childish, but epitomizes how she can’t even stay mad at him. “Very, very mean.” Their childish bits are my favorite parts to write. It’s in full-swing in 17.

 “I just had a really shitty week last week.” Oooo glimpse into the past. Like Bonnie’s with the Enzo/Klaus mention. More of that ahead!

“And don’t stop calling me kid.” / “It’s cute and I like it.” Can they just kiss and be together already omg You would think but everyone in this story is stupid.

“And he was struck by the most bizarre impulse to kiss her” see, even Damon knows!!!!

The “pep rally” / “I was actually a cheerleader for a bit in college” convo. Classic Bamon

 “Try not to do anything secretly heroic while I’m gone.”

“Maybe he was allergic to pep” / “maybe he was high on it” Damon and Bonnie sitting in a tree… D-E-N-Y-I-N-G

THE ALMOST STEROLINE NAME DROP I WAS ACTUALLY GRINNING LIKE A MORON WHEN I READ THIS MUAHAHA it was so stupid and I cackled writing it.

“I think I need to talk about Matt”/ “And I think you should probably tell me about Elena”. What? Caroline Forbes is talking about exes? Is doing something healthy that’ll further her relationship with Stefan? THERE IS SO MUCH PRIDE IN MY HEART – Also, I think this was a great way to end the chapter ‘cause it’s super cliffhanger and also super like a tvd episode, you know? Great, excellent, fantastic job! RIGHT? LOOK AT HER GO! She’s ready to confront some things! And because I took six months to reply to this and have the benefit of actually having the scene written now, I can tell you that she’s really going there. Saying things she’s never said out loud. It’s a hard scene for her. But she’s determined. So it makes me so happy that you’re proud of her (I’m proud of her!), and hopefully the next chapter will make it a little clearer why she is the way she is (and why it took her this long to get there). Also, YAY for show-like endings! You know that’s what I’m going for ;) TBH that’s a large reason why the chapters have gotten so long - I want like a whole episode in a chapter with a beginning, middle, and end, and I want them to set up a story for the next one, and for four central characters that usually ends up taking me about 8-10 scenes, loool. So I’m glad you like it that way, too ;)

Okay, so this is longer than I hoped, but I’m sure you won’t mind. Take your mind off med school, off the whole moving thing. Anyways, thanks a bazillion for being this awesome author that interacts with her audience, who puts at least 1000% percent into this fic when, really, you don’t gotta, and ya know… thanks for fulfilling the need everyone has seen tvd died (there were only 6 seasons right?)

Definitely only six seasons. And girl, psh, thank you for making all of the things you listed above worth it. Seriously. You guys make writing this story a legitimate joy - I literally have you in mind when I write. I anticipate who’s going to like what. Whose going to have a problem with what. And it makes me a better writer. Seriously. Anyway, you’re as lovely and witty and talented and kind and weird and wonderful as ever and I expect detailed updates on you and Ryan’s royal wedding every week and NEVER EVER APOLOGIZE AGAIN FOR WRITING A LONG REVIEW WHO ARE YOU KIDDING YOU’RE MY SUN AND I’VE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT I’LL SAY IT AGAIN IT TAKES ME FOREVER TO RESPOND BECAUSE I LEGIT CAN’T THINK OF A REPLY THAT’S WORTHY SOOOOO THANKS FOR MAKING MY LIFE K BYEEEEE

[furiousconnoisseurcomputer-blog]

Illnois-no proof of insurance?

"Illnois-no proof of insurance?

Does anyone know what the fine is for no proof of insurance in illinois is?? Is there a way to get this dropped??

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecosts.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Illnois-no proof of insurance?

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Of the different types of Life Insurance, Which is the best & why?""

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Im buy a car and i would like to no if anybody no what, would my insurances be""

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I got my first ticket when i was 14 and it was a $10 ticket. i recently turned 18, and i just got pulled over again. it was an $11 ticket. i dont want to tell my parents, but i know the insurance rate will go up, but how much? i live in north dakota.""

Insurance with US license. Loophole or stupidity?

I am an 18 year old british citizen. I lived in the US for 6-7 years and got a license at the age of 16. I am now in the process of getting car insurance. and am wondering if this 'loophole' is technically legal. I can drive on my US license for up to 12 months, during that 12 months I can get a UK prov. license. take the driving lessons and do the theory/test to get my full UK license. while shopping around last night I noticed a website saying 'provisional insurance is cheap, but expect it to go up once you pass your test.' Now, I understand the reason why it's cheaper is due to the fact that you probably wouldn't be driving as much, and you need a 'known' driver with you in the car while you're driving. However, couldn't I be considered my own driver? If I have a provisional license would I not be eligable for provisional license insurance? is this legal? or am I just being a hopeful idiot?""

Any insurance advice?

We're self employed looking for an health insurance that may cover pregnancy.

Cheapest car insurance?

2001 ford mustang, 2005 chevy cobalt, 2003 chevy impala, 2000 chevy blazer, and a 2002 chevy camaro. Put them in order from most expensive to least expensive based on insurance and gas. I am an almost 16 year old guy, if that helps! thanks!""

My new employer wants to add me to their auto insurance i have 30 years driving experience?

But I have not been insured for 10 years.will their insurance rates go up?

What's the cheapest motorcycle insurance for a 17 year old owning a motorcycle and holding a Motorcycle L....?

Learner's permit and no DL in viriginia? Serious answers only please. I want to be the only person on the insurance.

Peugeot 106 or 206 for first car?

Im 17 and im goin to buy a new car , wot should i choose wot will be least on insurance will there be much difference , how much on average will insurnce be in the uk , north west, any other suggestions for a car upto 800 to spend, thanks x""

What is the cheapest insurance for young drivers?

What is the cheapest insurance for young drivers?

What is a collector car insurance?

please tell me everything you know about collector car insurance. i really need to know. thanks.

Illnois-no proof of insurance?

Does anyone know what the fine is for no proof of insurance in illinois is?? Is there a way to get this dropped??

What is the cost of average home owners insurance?

I bought a new home, (foreclosure from the bank). I bought it quickly, and didnt have time to shop around for home owners insurance so I went with the first company who I called. I just wanted to see if this average, or too high, because if it is, I can start shopping around now. I bought a 227K foreclosure. The appraised value is 280K. I put 75K down on the house. my mortgage insurance per year is 1030 dollars. 6 bedroom/4 bathroom 3 acre home, 2400 sq feet. Is this high/average? Should I bother shopping around?""

Can my car insurance still charge me for a car I do not have anymore?

I'm confused. I no longer have this car, it got vandalised and written off. It says in my contract I can cancel I did but they have taken out another payment I haven't had the car since October 22nd Not only that in they said to me I they will take out the remaining payments from the cheque they pay me from my car, it doesn't say this in the contract so why do I have to do it? Why should I pay for a car I no longer have? And why do I have to pay my voluntary and compulsory excess if someone damaged my car and it has been reported to police and on going investigation? I will speak to them tomorrow but I am confused now and looking for answers. Thank you""

Is this normal for auto insurance?

I have got quote from almost all the comapnies, esurance, geico, state farm, farmers, allstate, and some more . All of them gave me quotes in the upper $2500 for full coverage. The only one were less was allstate $2100 and Geico for $1400 thats full coverage for 6 months. Do you guys usually pay this much. I'm 21 and this the first time I'm gettin insurance.""

""If my aunt crashed my car, will my insurance cover it?""

I live in PA, and I have Progressive as my car insurance. I have full coverage, and I was wondering if they will cover the whole thing if it was her fault? Thanks!""

Is an sri astra cheaper than sxi astra on insurance?

Is an sri astra cheaper than sxi astra on insurance?

Can you put two cars on two different insurance companies?

If i have two cars, can i put one on Geico and one on state farm. I'm having very bad experience with State farm and i'm thinking of switching with one car at at time. Is it possible to have the two cars in my household on two different insurance company eventhough both cars are in my name?""

Is there such a thing as divorce insurance?

My parents are getting a divorce and, since it's California, the courts favor the female. Even though my mom and dad earn about the same money, my dad has to pay this huge amount to my mom for child support because she got more time with my younger brother. He's 12 and he told the mediator that he would rather live my dad full time, but the court gave my mom more time and made her the custodial parent. How old do you have to be to tell the court which parent you want to live with all the time? Also, just like there is medical insurance, has anyone ever heard of divorce insurance? It would kick in if you're ever stuck with child or spousal support. I haven't found anything on the internet yet.""

Question about full coverage insurance on car?

If you're car is worth about 7,000 dollars and it gets totaled how does the insurance company know it was worth about 7,000?""

How much is car insurance on a 2002 mustang convertable?

How much is car insurance on a 2002 mustang convertable?

Insurance on 2009 A4 TFSI (I'm 19)?

What would be the insurance rate for a 2009 Audi A4 TFSI (4 cilinder 2.0 turbo) for me, I'm 19 years old and I live in Florida. I have a 2008 335i which is V6 twin-turbo and the insurance is high, can't afford US$6000 a semester. thank u""

How much does it cost to cancel motorbike insurance in the UK?

If you've been with them say 2-4 months. Also does it make a difference if its Third Party, Third Party Fire and Theft or Fully Comp? Its on a 125cc and the insurance is going to cost approx 300. Thanks""

""Why is it called the Affordable Health Care Act, but it does very little to make health care affordable?""

there were many ways to make health care reform work, but all that this bill does is make the insurance companies richer.""

What is the definite BEST car insurance company?

My boyfriend and I are both 20 years old and we own a 2001 honda civic dx hatchback. Right now were on a plan with my brother so it's cheaper on us(Farmers insurance) but we are going to be moving out and getting our place and start paying for our own stuff. I'm confused as to which car insurance company is really the best because they all they they're the best. So really... tell me which car insurance company is the best and why. Allstate, The general, 21st century, geico, progressive, farmers, esurance or nationwide? Also note we live in california.""

Explain Health Insurance to?

So I do not understand the deductibles in Health Insurance plans. Like I I've heard people at the first of the year say their prescription was expensive because they did not meet their deductible. And any suggestions on obtaining good health insurance?

Cheapest car insurance for 17 year olds in the Uk?

Hi, 17 in a week and was wondering what the cheapest insurers would be for 17 year olds, I know there won't be no cheap cheap ones because, well I'm 17 lol but anyone have any ideas? is it worth looking on go compare etc?""

I need car insurance! Someone help!!?

I need insurance just on me, I live in Florida, 23 man & only wanna cover myself not car or anything else.. I want the cheapest insurance!! What company would be the cheapest!! Hint never been in a crash or ticketed""

How much would insurance cost?

how much would insurance cost like humana or something like that for me and my child?

How much info do the govt have on what sort of car insurance u have?

Like as long as I have an insurance certificate am I sweet until I have an accident? Or if I give the insurance company wrong info for a cheaper quote will the govt find out? If so how? My mates had his car for ages and has no insurance and the police have never said anything to him Cheers

""State farm just dropped me for poor driving history, what insurance company should i go to now?

the title says it all...Statefarm told me they would no longer insure me after my last accident. So now i need to find an insurance company that would cover me. I live in California. i drive a sports car. and my driving record isnt pretty :/

List of life and health insurance companies with medical exam?

List of life and health insurance companies with medical exam?

Can I be put on my parent's insurance for a separate car?

I need to get insurance on my car so that I can drive it without risking anything. My parents use Allstate, so I went to their website to see about how much it would be to get insurance. I found a nice monthly payment of $108, but the down payment was over $500! I drive a crappy old car that I payed for less than that. Can my parents add another car with the insurance in my name, put me under their policy for a different car, etc. at a lower price than that? I wish it were so much easier for things. All I care for is liability, so would it be possible to just piggyback off their policy?""

Cheapest Car Insurance For Ford Taurus 2003 SES ?

I want basically minimum, + if somebody hits me uninsured, Do you think thats good coverage? Car is only worth 2700 thats what i paid to buy it with 130000 miles on it. im looking for personal recommendations, cheapest possible, lowest down payment, and thank you""

Why do people think I haven't looked hard enough for affordable health insurance?

On a political blog I mentioned that as an equity partner in a law firm I paid Aetna $12,000/yr for parent-child coverage because law firms require the partners that own it to purchase their own coverage. We received the rates that companies with approx 100 employees are charged. I also paid a share of what the firm contributed to employee coverage, which came out of profits Conservatives jumped all over me for failing to shop around. I had failed to mention that we switched from Blue Cross to Aetna for cheaper rates in exchange for greater rationing, i.e., less participating doctors, higher co-pays, etc. Can somebody recommend a reliable insurer with lower rates that Aetna?""

Does anyone know how much it cost to insure a honda integra ivtec 2006 model car ?

i was wondering if anyone has this car and how much they pay for insurance. i am under 25 years old living in NZ. car has no modifications or anything all factory standard and is parked in garage at all times.

How much would insurance cost for a 2003 bmw 330 ci? 17 years old?

How much would insurance cost for a 2003 bmw 330 ci? 17 years old?

Illnois-no proof of insurance?

Does anyone know what the fine is for no proof of insurance in illinois is?? Is there a way to get this dropped??

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/car-insurance-people-who-commute-train-does-simon-kinch"