#future wife and kids you'll need to look out for.. take better care of yourself!!

[snurtsnurt]

My grandma has the oddest way of showing she cares...

[agnesthecartoonfreak]

Problematic teen König

⚠️Teen F!reader x Teen König.

(+16, slight smut, cozy, loving, roomates,

Part 2: unexpected maternity

Part1 :https://www.tumblr.com/agnesthecartoonfreak/740399153315774464/problematic-teenager-k%C3%B6nig?source=share

A/N : Calm down it's not what it looks. I'm not insane you'll see

Problematic teenage König is feeding his childhood dreams of marrying you again

Living with you always made his heart skip.

You are quiet like him. Not unconfortable quiet. But more soft low voices in the morning with a cup of tea while there is a storm outside type of quiet.

Good quiet.

Happy quiet.

Peace quiet

A type of quiet that könig never had access to as a kid in a broken household. You heal him. Makes him get used to this domestic life. Like he deserves it

It gives him the chills to know how much of him you saw. Parts of him he did not want anybody to know. The insecure, scared and jealous little boy you once knew. Now with a thicc shell of pure endurance.

But your sweetness still manages to crack his shell open. He is scared. Whenever he tries to keep a safe distance you draw him in back again with his favorite meals, a warm hug and a nice conversation. König always thought you were a good cook because of how warm and gentle you are. Almost... maternal

König almost spils his coffe with that thought

He blushes and closes his eyes.

He can almost see you as his wife and pregnant with his child. His little Venus. His little world.

You would look stunning as you always did. But you would carry a promise with you. The promise of a peaceful happy life. He does not expects perfection. He knows no marriage is perfect. But a gentle, soft and living one. The type of relationship that would make him crawl back home to you no matter what happend to him while he was serving in the army as he planned.

-König! - Little fingers snapping in front of his face brings him back to the present

Little Venus wants his answer

" Vwhat?" könig answers spitting a bit of accent

You giggle

"Do you hear this?" you put your hand in your ear like a shell to hear it better

König stays silent for a moment looking for the unknown sound

" Katze?"he mumbles

"What? Cat? KITTY!!?"

you live with him long enough to know some words in german yourself

You run towards the sound it the first floor

König follows you worried

"Schatz! It could bite you! You don't know if it has rabies"

She wraps the baby kitty half asleep in a old blanket. It bearly fights. The lil kitty looks exausted. Probably running from the rain

König follows right behind you as you take care of the poor kitty. Gives it a little bath warps him in a towel. Afterwards making him a cozy little kitty bed

He is amuses by the scene. Did the universe decided to give him a taste of his future? Is it a sign that it will actually happen? Anyhow he needs to show you that he can be a good dad

He is determined

You two sit down playing with the kitty. You both are talking about possible names. Little Venus points out that he looks like him. He brushes it off

"I know his name!"

"Which one is it?" König stares at you curiously

" Prinz! Cause he is your son! As in König's son!"

You hold baby prinz as if he was Simba from lion king

König turns completely red

"Am I the father?" He asks in a whisper

You can see he does think he deserves it

"Yes!! And I'm the mom!" A innocent smile spreads across your face

Do you have any idea the types of dirty fantasies that could cause him. Making love to you raw like the world is gonna end the next day and nothing else matters anymore. Just this primal urge to be yours

He hugs you suddently. You hug him back

"You think I'm gonna be a good dad someday?"

His voice is shaky. Like he was offered redemption from being a broken boy

"Of course." you stroke his hair giving him the confort of your touch

There is this silent moment. Where you, König and Prinz slowly cuddle in the couch and fall asleep

König dreams of this life.

With you

For ever...

[procrastination-queenie]

Still with you || JJK

Pairing: scientist!au husband!au Jungkook x scientist!au wife!au reader.

Synopsis: you were going on about with your boring life until you accidentally meet unexpected guests. Was it accidental though?

Warning: slight angst, the reader has a bad relationship with her parents, one sexual reference, kissing, long-haired Jungkook😂, few swear words, I don't think there's anything else.

Word count: 3k

A/N: italics are the reader's future-self talking.

This is loosely based on a tiktok video I saw on Pinterest.

You puffed, kicking a pebble that was by your feet as you waited for your driver to pick you up from school. You honestly wanted nothing other than going back to disappear in your room for the rest of day. Why you may wonder! Well, you got an A- on your latest exam, and you know how your parents are going to react. To them, you either get an A+, or you're a failure. They want you to become a lawyer like them, and take over their law firm after your graduation. Your whole life has been planned out before your birth; an arranged marriage took place between your mother and father, to merge the most famous two law firms in the country. Now, your family owns the biggest law firm in the country leaving you with no options other than having your whole life planned out for you without getting a say in it. What was expected from you is to excel in your studies, go to the most prestigious university then run your family's firm. Life really sucked, and you were only sixteen years old.

"Good afternoon, Miss. Hope I am not late!" Your driver, Richard, said interrupting your thoughts as he opened the door for you.

You shook your head with slumped shoulders, "No Richard, you're always on time," you said getting in the car, but not before you could feel his gaze that was full of pity.

It was nothing new, the whole staff that worked for your family knew what you were going through, and while many may envy you and the position that you hold within the society, the staff knew better than to think in such a superficial way.

"Young lady, I thought we made it clear concerning your grades! An A-? Seriously?" Your birth-giver whom you haven't seen for the last 6 month, slammed your report card onto the counter as she looked down on you as if you were a disgrace to the family. You sighed heavily in response wanting nothing other than to disappear in your room, nothing seemed to satisfy your parents; it's like you only become visible when grades are brought up, other than that they barely notice your existence. "I am sorry, what was that?" She asked hearing your sigh as she raised her perfectly shaped eyebrow at you daring you to defy her. Sometimes you wondered why did she treat you like that, why was there so much hatred in her tone. You would sometimes think that she hated that her life was planned out for her as well, so she takes it out on you.

"Nothing," you answered quietly, wanting to get this one-sided conversation over with. "Thought so. Go to your room. I don't want to see you for the rest of the night," she said, jaw clenching as she pointed towards your room upstairs.

"And when do you ever want to see me!" You muttered quietly under your breath as you made your way towards Your room.

As you neared your room down the hall, you heard voices from inside, making you wonder who could be in your room, seeing that the maids usually clean it after you leave for school in the early morning. Nearing the door, you tried to be as quiet as possible to eavesdrop. "Jungkook be quiet, and stop fussing!" You heard a girl's voice say. Her voice was somehow familiar, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it. "Sorry babe, I didn't know you used to live in such a luxurious house," this Jungkook guy, you assumed, answered back chuckling.

What? Who lives here other than your family? And used to live? What does he mean? Who are these people?

You suddenly entered your room to see two people ,just as you suspected, looking back at you as if they were not expecting you at all. "Shit! When did you set the machine, Jungkook?" The girl standing not far away from the guy asked with a clenched jaw. "Ops!" He replied looking back at her. "Seriously, Jungkook? Are you kidding me? That's when I arrive from school! I told you we need to do this before I arrive!" She whined as she hit his arm lightly. "Hey, at least the machine works!" He shrugged biting his bottom lip. "Yeah, you're right," she said calming down a bit.

You kept looking back and forth between them, backing up very slowly to get out of the room and call the police. Apparently, these two are crazy and you need to call for help. "Get back here missy, you are not going anywhere," the girl said looking at you with a glint in her eyes daring you to take one more step away from them. "Look, I don't want you to panic. We are not here to do anything bad. I promise, but knowing how you are, you probably don't believe me, so I am very sorry because of what we are about to do!" She said sincerely making you panic even more. Suddenly the guy came towards you and lifted you over his shoulder. Welp, this is it, you're going to die, your parents are probably going to be mad for the lack of an heir to their firm, but whatever! "W-what are going to do?" You panicked even more hitting this Jungkook guy to let you down. "Don't worry, we are tying you up, so you won't go anywhere and expose us which will lead to many complications and malfunctions that nor you neither do I need to happen. We've worked so hard to reach this point." She said tying you up with your jumping rope which you didn't know how she found since you keep it hidden in your closet. She oddly seemed to know her way around the room which was very confusing, have these people been watching you for some time?

She sighed in relief after she tied you up as she leaned back to sit directly in front of you. "Don't you recognise me?" She asked looking at you smiling as if she's your long lost sister and that knowing who she is will bring you immense joy. You looked her up and down, tilting your head to the side when it suddenly kicks in your head, she looks very familiar, how could you miss it. She looks exactly like you but older. She looked exactly like how you envisioned yourself to be ONLY if you possessed the freedom to do what you want. "Are you... No, it couldn't be!" You said shaking your head. You're hallucinating, you're sure of it. "I know, right? But it's true … I am you, but 10 years older." You looked her up and down, again. She looked totally different from you right now. Carefree is the keyword. She looks like she doesn't have a care in the world, she's also sporting a style that you have always wanted to try. "W-wha- .. h-how is this possible?" If you were panicking a few moments ago, now you were on the verge of freaking out. Have you gone mad? Is this a dream? It must be! I mean your whole life you're struggling to fight your parents and become what you want to be, but this is absolutely NUTS! It must be the stress taking a toll on you, must be!

"Oh, it's a long story," your older self chuckled as if this situation was funny. It kinda is, if you were in her shoe it would probably be funny to you. You looked to your left side, eyeing the guy standing next to you who was looking around your room with so much interest. Your older self inspecting you as you eyed Jungkook, chuckling again silently knowing how curious you are. "Who is he?" You blurted out looking at him in disapproval. Jungkook suddenly stopped looking around and looked at you smiling and waving at you with his left hand. "Oh, hi I am Jungkook," A silver ring on his left hand caught your eyes, you involuntarily looked at your older self, searching her left hand, but you didn't need to look for so long because a diamond ring glinted back at you, as if telling you yup I am here to confirm your doubts. You suddenly gasped as you looked between them, Jungkook flinched in surprise as your older self smirked at you. "You figured it out, didn't you?" she said amusement dancing in her eyes. "He's your husband!" Your face scrunched in disgust. "Our husband," she corrected you leaning back on her palms still looking at you in amusement. "Ew! No!" You said looking at him again with disapproval. "Now, I am offended," Jungkook said feigning sadness, placing his hand over his chest. "Your hair is so long!" You pointed out, tilting your head to the side. "Thank you!" He beamed at you happy that something about him appealed to you. "That wasn't a compliment, don't flatter yourself," you answered back glaring at him. Jungkook pouted looking back at your older self for help "Well, believe it or not, you'll come to love everything about him even if he dyes his hair red," your older self averted your attention from your supposed future husband towards her. She looked at Jungkook with a smirk; however, you could feel the love in her eyes. You could tell that she really loved him as her smirk eased into a soft loving look making you wonder what did Jungkook do to deserve your love.

A few minutes passed as Jungkook and your older self swiped places, Jungkook sat in front of you making sure that you don't try and break free to run away as your older self kept looking for something around your room. "You have so many tattoos, are you a criminal?" You questioned grumpily. You heard your older self chuckle behind you as she looked at the calendar on your desk. Jungkook's big doe eyes, which you suspected were your older self's weakness since it's already making you feel things, looked at you trying to find a suitable answer. "Umm, well I've never done anything illegal," he said. "Intentionally," he added gulping when you kept your piercing gaze upon him. His eyes looked upwards toward the left side which according to what you've read in the science of body language indicated that he was probably remembering the illegal thing that he has done. Sighing, you tried to take it easy upon him since he was starting to get more uncomfortable under your gaze.

"What's your job?" You asked as your legs swayed the chair, you were tied to, right and left. The situation was starting to become really funny to you; you were tied up like you were going to be tortured for some information that you possess; however, it seems like the roles are reversed seeing that you were swaying the chair as you kept interrogating your future husband. He hummed, scratching the side of his neck with his lips pursed and his right eye closed, "I don't know how to tell you this, but we kinda lost our job," he said calmly, big doe eyes staring back at you as a small smile made its way onto his handsome features. "What do you mean WE? you lost your job!" You stopped swaying the chair, an act that showed that you were trying to process the information. "Nah, we as in me and you," he said still looking at you as if he was telling you something totally normal like how the sun sets from the west. "Yeah, we work together and we kinda got fired," your older self said as she stood next to you resting her hand on the back of your chair. "What do you mean kinda got fired? What do you guys do?" You asked looking up at her. "Hmm, … we're scientists." She said looking back down on you. "Wait, what? You're not running our law firm?" You turned the chair suddenly making her remove her hand from the back of it. "Nah, dude we are not going through this bullshit that our parents planned out for us." She said shaking her heading with a pure look of repugnance on her face. "W-why did you get fired, then ?" You asked trying to understand more. "Well, you see me and Jungkook were developing a time machine, you know how many novels predicted the occurrence of such invention," you nodded eagerly for her to continue "the bastards at the lab made fun of us for being delusional because and I quote "this only exists in fiction and there could never be a thing such as time machines" the pricks! Don't they know that before the invention of ships and aeroplanes, writers prophesied these inventions, I mean that's how usually things start. People come up with crazy ideas and we scientists try to bring these ideas into life." Her outrage was evident in her tone. You nodded agreeing with her. "Anyways, that's not for you worry about, at least for the time being," she said walking away from you to continue looking around.

You tried to change the topic, but for some reason, you were not gifted with the ability to be smooth, "What made you marry him?" You fired the question still looking at Jungkook who suddenly smirked at you. "I am pretty good with a sword," he answered, and you could feel his ego inflate. "Oh my, Jungkook please don't!" Your older self whined rolling her head. "What?" Jungkook asked going back to his baby Bambi-eyed self before he started acting cocky. "A sword!" You wondered in a hushed tone to yourself, Jungkook's eyes looking over your face as if he can see your mind putting two and two together, "Oh!" You suddenly realised what he was implying, apparently something sexual. "EEWW!" you shook your head trying not to imagine anything. "Jungkook for God's sake, She's still sixteen, and she doesn't know you yet. Besides you know that I married you because I love you not because of … that," your older self said shaking her head at her husband's immaturity.

"Anyways, it's almost time. If Jungkook set the timer correctly, we should be getting back in a few seconds!" Your older self said from behind you, untying you from your restraints. "What? Back where?" You asked turning to look at her. "What do you mean back where! Back to our present!" She answered looking back at Jungkook. "What about me?"

"What about you?" Jungkook asked confused. Rolling your eyes, not really knowing how you will actually fall in love with the guy later on, "I mean … what am I supposed to do now that I met you?" You asked looking back at your older self, eyes begging her to guide you, tell you what to do, to tell you that everything will turn out just fine. Her features softened as she neared you, "hey listen kiddo, everything will be alright. I can't tell you how it will turn out exactly, but I want you to know that you wouldn't want it any other way, I promise!" She said placing her hand on your shoulder, glancing behind you at Jungkook and smiling softly. You were sure Jungkook was returning her smile, as well. "I don't know what to do...how do I become you?" She tilted her head thinking about it. "Well, I can't tell you what to do because you'll know that, but you can start by resisting," she winked at you before extending her hand to Jungkook who took it. They both backed away from you. You felt them start to fade, but before they vanished completely, Jungkook winked at you in a friendly manner and told you, "see you soon!" You frowned not understanding what he meant by that.

Two days had already passed since you met your future self. In the beginning, you doubted the whole thing happening, but then you found a small sticky note by your desk with neat handwriting saying "I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul. ~ William Ernest Henley" which you realised was a quote from your favourite poem, your older self had written it down for you. It was the only proof that what had taken place in your room was real. It was still the beginning of the school day, and you were already bored. "Attention please, everyone!" Your teacher raised her voice over the noisy chatter of the students, bursting your bubble of thoughts and making you look up as your colleagues started to settle down. "I would like you to welcome our new transfer student, Jeon Jungkook," she exclaimed enthusiastically looking around with a hopeful gaze. Jeon Jungkook? What? No way? You suddenly looked up, a shy boy with a shaggy haircut entered the classroom barely looking up, too afraid to make eye contact with anyone. You gasped quietly, that's what Jungkook meant by seeing me soon? He looks nothing like his older self! You thought, inspecting the Jungkook standing by the teacher. He looked up shyly, and the first person he laid eyes on was you. Your heart fluttered when he made eye contact and averted his eyes quickly as he blushed. Oh how cute! You thought smiling slightly. Oh my God, it's actually happening! You were having an internal conversation with yourself now, realising that this was true, you're already harbouring a crush on the boy. "Jungkook, why don't you take a seat next to y/n," your teacher said averting her gaze from Jungkook to you, nodding her head so you'd raise your hand to let him know where you're sitting. "Y/n, would you please show Jungkook around the school later, and help him with what he's missing. If there's anything you're unable to help him with, you can return to me," she said moving already behind her desk and opening her book to start the lesson as Jungkook made his way to the empty desk next to you.

"H-hi, I am Jungkook," he introduced himself minutes after he sat down. "I know, the teacher introduced you at the beginning of class," you said smiling softly at his rosy cheeks that displayed his embarrassment, you chuckled finding him so endearing trying to make a small conversation with you. You turned your head paying attention to what the teacher was explaining. You could feel Jungkook fiddle around in his seat looking around worriedly with his big Bambi eyes that you're sure are now your weakness. You realised that he was nervous because he doesn't have a pen and was embarrassed to ask for an extra one. You silently nudged him and gave him one of yours which made him flash you a grateful smile making you flash him a soft one.

Meanwhile, you and Jungkook were watching your younger-selves interact shyly just as you did ten years ago. "Kookie!" He hummed not really paying you attention since he was eating an ice-cream. You turned your head inspecting his features that didn't really change that much since you first saw him, "you didn't set the machine on that time by mistake, did you?" You asked referring to the time when you asked him about the time settings after your younger self had caught you both snooping around her, well technically your room. You looked at your melting ice-cream, taking a small bite as you could still see Jungkook from your peripheral vision. His movements stopped for a moment, seeing that you smirked as if you caught him in the act. Sensing your sly smile, he shook his head "I don't know what you're talking about!" He feigned dumbness as if you won't be able to tell that he was lying, but who was he fooling? You knew him like the back of your hand. He sighed looking at you in defeat as you raised an eyebrow at him waiting for him to explain himself. "Babe, I know how you were always anxious during that time of your life, and now that we achieved this together and made the whole time machine thing possible; I wanted the first thing for us to do is console your younger-self. I remember how you had a hard time because of your parents," he explained himself all pouty like a child who had done something wrong. However, Jungkook didn't do anything wrong, far from it actually, he wanted nothing but to make you feel less stressed and less unloved. He knows that his younger self has to overcome so many intricacies for you to open up to him. You were a totally different version from who you are right now, and it hurt him to see you doubting yourself or feeling inferior all these years because of your non-existent relationship with your parents. "Thank you, Kookie," you said placing a soft peck on his pouty lips. "You're not mad at me?" He asked, eyes widening, watching you enjoy your ice-cream as you took in your surroundings. You shook your head looking back at him. "I love you," you smiled holding his hand into yours. His worried bunny features eased into a smile and a look full of nothing but adoration for you, "I love you, too." He kissed you passionately while rubbing his thumb over your cheeks. "Finish your ice-cream. We have ten minutes remaining before we go back." You said looking at your digital watch. "What? We don't get to take the ice-cream with us?" He asked, curiosity glossing in his eyes. You shook your head at your husband whom you genuinely believed is a child trapped in the body of a 26 years old man, but as you said: you wouldn't want to have it any other way.

[heresathreebee]

A Real Date

[Ava Starr x Female!Reader] 

Summary: You and Ava trying a dinner date that goes very wrong (just kidding it's actually fine). 

Previous Masterlist Next

Word count: 1.8k words

Warning(s): 13+ | no-snap au, post-Ant Man and the Wasp, swearing, internalized homophobia(?), I think I’m working through something here this might be a little personal (sorry in advance), past relationship angst, presumed past of dating multiple genders but there is no definitive sexuality established for reader in the present, this was going to be something else but the story took over and I had to roll with it. 

Author's note: no-snap au, post-Ant Man and the Wasp. I’m sorry I do not edit anymore, it only serves to stand in my way. This is part 3 of Ava Starr series beginning with Strawberry Soda. Art by Artmilla on DeviantArt (correct me if I’m wrong please)

It's important to note that not everything you see in media is the hegemonic truth. Take sapphic dating rituals for example: in media it’s a constant joke about how fast people move in together and own pets and plants like they were soulmates and always meant to be together. Which is nice to see– it’s not meant to be a cruel joke– but it does paint a picture of perfection. It doesn’t explicitly state whether your future wife is your first or fiftieth girlfriend but it sure as shit might lead you to believe every girl might be your last. 

Real people don’t work that way. Real people have different interests, different lives, different traumas, different styles and needs. Every relationship is new and it has to be done deliberately and with care for what you and your partner want. So when you think about your relationship with Ava you can’t help but feel a little guilty. 

Ava seems to like to take things slow. Your relationship prioritizes quality time over physical touch which you're fine with, but you can’t help it if you compare the details to other people you’ve dated. You’ve known each other for three months and in every other relationship by this time, you and your previous partners had hit a ton of milestones that you and Ava had just… not. So when you bring up the prospect of a ‘real date’ to Ava one night while cooking pasta in your kitchen, Ava chuckles. 

“And what exactly constitutes as a ‘real date?’” 

The television is playing some daytime television game show and the volume’s on low. You pass her the salt and take a swig from your beer with a shrug. Already you feel silly for bringing it up. 

“Dinner. A movie. Sometimes both, I guess,” you say, flustered. 

Ava raises an eyebrow at the softening bowtie noodles in the pot. “We’re having dinner right now…? Name one time we haven’t come back to your place to watch a movie.” 

“The time the power went out and we played jenga by candlelight. But I– I mean like a date outside of the house.”

“We go to out to parks, the antique mall, lunch, the arcade–” 

“Well, yeah I guess you’re right I just don’t know I still feel like–”  

“Again, how is any of it different from a ‘real date?’” 

“I don’t know! Just… just forget it.” you’re trying not to be bitter about it but you don’t even know what you mean so how could you explain it? 

Ava calls your name softly and you already feel hot shame lick up your neck when you see her face. “I didn’t mean it like that, I– I just don’t think I understand what you mean and I want to! Honestly…” 

You sigh and lean closer to her, careful not to touch but you want her to know you’re not mad. “No, I’m sorry. I just… I’ve been stuck on it for a week but I can’t seem to figure out why. Everything you’re saying I agree with but there’s still this nagging voice in my head telling me it’s not fair or I’m doing it wrong but I don’t know what it even is and I–” 

You collapse onto the kitchen floor breathless. What the fuck were you even saying? Why was this bothering you so much? What ‘s different about this relationship than any other relationship you’ve already had? Your eyes are darting back and forth and your head is a million miles away. You keep talking as if saying it out loud will make your impulsive and intrusive thoughts and motivations clearer to you. 

“It’s out of order. No, it’s not but it’s… with Jordan and Becky and Hal, I went on three dates before it felt normal. We did the traditional getting to know you stuff. Damien and Palavi were straight physical– not traditional at all but that still felt good enough somehow. And– and it’s not that I don’t believe what we have isn’t real, I just–

“Fuck, I don’t know! It feels a little like my relationship with Kat.” You can’t believe it but then the words were out there. You had never told anybody about Kat– Ava was still learning about the rest of them– but the instant those words left your mouth you regretted them. Ava was not Kat. 

For instance, Ava slipped down to sit beside you on the floor– Kat would never lower herself to meet your eye. Ava looked at you and she saw you– Kat chose to ignore your feelings whenever it became more convenient to do so. Kat made you feel special and yet not special enough– OK maybe they shared a little bit of that. A tiny, micro piece of that. 

“What was Kat like?” She said the words softly and without an ounce of jealousy. 

You gather your mind with a deep breath. “Dating Kat was like being strapped to a rocket. It was like being a part of something bigger and stronger than me. Being with her made me feel inconsequential and sometimes I liked that, but then… then I realized I was just a dirty little secret. Kat liked me because I was convenient to her, not because she actually cared about me. 

“When we talked or hung out, it had to be on her terms. No public, no friends or family, no social media. No one was allowed to know. She passed it off as just wanting me for herself but after she dumped me for something better I realized she never saw me as her equal. And it just… I was already in a dark place and that place just kind of got a whole lot darker after that. I felt especially not special.” 

You lean back and rest your head on the cabinet under the sink. “I know that’s not you. Maybe I’m just tired of feeling like I have to hide a part of myself. I did a lot of stupid things in the public eye with Palavi, maybe part of that was because I was proud of who I am and I wanted everyone to know it?” 

“I think I care too much about what other people think of me,” you said closing your eyes. 

You didn’t expect to feel Ava lean her head against your shoulder but you don’t pull away. God, you could never pull away even as you worry she may be causing herself harm just to comfort you and your rambling. Her hair tickles a bit and smells like strawberries and lavender. 

Ava lifted her head after a moment. “Let’s go on a real date then.” 

~

Why the fuck were you so nervous? This was your idea! You had trouble picking a restaurant and picking a day and picking your clothes out and picking where to sit. So many choices with so much meaning or none at all. You just need this to be perfect because you hoped maybe this is what you need to stop that nagging in your head. 

You made the call to meet each other there. You made the suggestion that it had to be somewhere nice– as in get dressed up nice. And darling, sweet, patient Ava let you have the control you so desperately needed. She offered suggestions here and there, and it helped you narrow everything down to a science. You feel a little self conscious sitting by yourself in your get up but you knew she'd be there on time. 

It's just a matter of whether or not you could sit still for five more minutes. 

You hold the cloth napkin in your palms to try and soak up the sweat. Forcing yourself to sit unnaturally still and you haven't touched your wine because you just know you'll get it everywhere somehow. Your eyes trace over the table to stop yourself from meeting the eyes of other patrons. Do nothing, wait it out. 

Ava is stunning and you don't know she's there until the wait staff places the dinner menus in front of you. So much for pulling out her chair like you wanted to– but she's here and you break out into a big smile. 

"You look amazing," you tell her. 

Ava smiles and takes a sip of the rosé you ordered. The dim lighting in the room seems to soften the contours of her face but never the sharpness of her bright eyes. Something blossoms inside you and you feel it– that thing that's been bothering you like a knot in your stomach turns into a seed and its flowering now. This is your girlfriend. Not your friend who is a girl– your significant other. She's important to you and she has decided that she feels the same way about you. 

You feel your body unwind, reaching across the table like you might touch her hand then stop an inch from her empty plate. She watches you curiously but without fear. After a beat, it's Ava who finishes the contact. She slips her hand into yours and you are delighted to discover she's not a corporeal being you've convinced yourself is real. Her skin is a little dry around the palm and she has calluses you never knew were there and she's real and this is happening. 

You resist the urge to squeeze her fingers. Let her lead. Trust her to move away if she experiences any pain. She looks away from you with a flustered face you've never seen her wear and takes another draft of her wine. 

"This is nice," she says softly. 

You eat off each others' plates and you laugh together, and if anyone's watching you wouldn't know because for once you couldn't give a rat's ass what anyone thinks. You're with your person, for now or forever doesn't matter because she's letting you hold her hand and talk about a play you want to take her to on Saturday. Your heart flutters in your chest the whole way home and it’s not until you’re standing at your front door does her hand finally slip from yours. The feeling lingers though and your face hurts from smiling. 

“This everything you wanted,” she asked. 

“Yes,” you reply, “yes it was. Thank you for indulging me, it’s exactly what I needed.” 

“I enjoyed it too.” She steps closer, seemingly reluctant to leave just yet. “We’re still going to see Rocky Horror Picture Show, right?” 

“Absolutely,” you beam, “trust me, you’re gonna love it, it’s wild.” You blow her a kiss to send her on her way and spend the next hour giggling to yourself until you finally pass out from exhaustion.

[ketsuyuki-hibana-typed]

Ever since I know the fact that Sanemi seriously drunk on that respect women juice, I become deeply fall in love onto his character.

Also, I really respect to women who patiently carrying other life inside their bellies. I loved it when women get the attention they needed when they are pregnant. Patients hubby! Patients!

Shinazugawa Sanemi x Pregnant!Reader

(Warning: NSFWish; Sex Mention)

Sanemi has just came home in the morning after night mission when he heard rattling and choking sound from the bathroom.

He rushed to the bathroom, grabbing his sword in case it's a demon who attacked you.

It's not, he found you holding your body into the sink while panting. You covered your mouth, keeping the urge to vomit.

"(y/n)!"

"Sane- mi- It's okay, I'm just di-" Your voice was cut of with another vomits.

Sanemi was panicked, without thinking twice, he ran to bedroom, snatching his other big white haori and came back to you.

He wrapped you in his haori, carrying you out to Butterfly Estate.

"Hang on!"

When he arrived, the medic staff immediately took you off from him or else, he wouldn't stop shouting to them.

"Wind Pillar, your wife is in good hand now, let us take care of your wounds first. You've just came back from mission."

"Until I got good news from my wife, I'm not going anywhere."

"We know, but-"

"Shinazugawa-san." Shinobu took the lead, signing them to leave both of you. They nodded. "Your wife is in good condition, the symptoms are all natural."

"Symptoms? Natural?"

"Please prepare yourself because you'll become a father soon." Shinobu smiled and left, going back to your ward.

"I'm- a father?"

Shinobu escorted you out from the ward. But, she's not telling you that you're pregnant.

So when you discovered Sanemi on his knees, you immediately become confused and looked back at Shinobu.

She let out brightest smile and tapped your shoulder. "Take care the baby inside your belly, ok? Don't forget to consult here, twice a month. I'll leave you two alone."

You stumbled upon hearing that, before trembling and looked at your husband.

Sanemi suddenly stood up, and hugged you. You just realized that he's crying, his tears were dropping on your shoulder.

"I'm glad nothing happened to you."

"Sanemi, I'm pregnant." You whispered softly right at his ear. "I'm pregnant."

"I know." He tightened his hug.

When the news spreads amongst the Demon Slayer Corps, they all were in shock especially the Pillars.

Sanemi told them that both of you hasn't plan on having a child after married, not until both of you retired.

"Shinazugawa, do you have some sort of breeding kink or-"

"Talk again and I'll make sure to cut that tongue off from your mouth, Uzui."

Sanemi promised he will be a good husband, promised that what happened to his mother and his siblings will never happen to you.

He didn't want to be like his father. His mind was still fresh when he saw his father beated his mom, even when she still carrying Genya inside her womb.

No, not gonna happen to you.

When he's about to went out for mission, he will give you long lecture on how you should rest and didn't do anything stupid while he gone.

"Don't forget to eat. Don't walk around too much. No training, let those kids train by themselves. Call Shinobu if you need something, also.... probably Genya. Just call him."

"It's first trisemester, Sanemi. I'm sure I'll be fine."

"First trisemester is the most critical state." He kissed you on your temple. "I don't want anything happen to you and the baby."

But it's not you if it's not stubborn. You continued to train your students, quietly accepting mission when he was out.

And it affects to your second semester.

It all started when you casually doing chores and suddenly collapsed. You're lucky because your husband was nearby and was in time to caught you before you hit the ground.

"Did... Did you do heavy activities like jumping?"

"Um, I-" You hesitantly looked at your husband, and turned again to Shinobu's face. It's too late to lie now. "Yes, yes I did."

The Insect Pillar lets out long sighs and said, "You shouldn't do that. It's fortunate that your action, whatever it is, didn't result with miscarriage. I want you to be careful from now on. Collapsing might be continued, so please take care of your body."

Sanemi must be so disappointed. You silently walked behind him on the way on your home.

"What do you want? I'll cook for you."

"E- Eh?" You blinked in disbelief. "You- You're not ang- oww!"

"Of course I am!" He pinched both of your cheek, irk mark slowly appeared from his forehead. "But... Half of them is my fault though..."

You grabbed his hand, tilting your head. "No? It's not?"

"I left you when you needed me the most." He sighed and put his palm on your head. "I should be here with you, not going on mission. I understand it's hard." You unconsciously patted his chest, feeling more guilty for making him worry.

Sanemi wasn't so clueless. He knew how to handle pregnant woman from his experience taking care of his mother.

Ever since Sanemi knew you were gone for short mission while he went out for mission too, he ordered Genya to monitor you.

Genya didn't mind, not a little bit. He gradually checked you, escorted you to Butterfly Estate, and always stood by your side whenever you need him

"Genya, thank you so much for your help." You sat down on the engawa, he borrowed your kitchen and make teas.

"It's okay. I was so happy when Aniki told me to take care of you. Well, although his tone was more like ordering than asking, but I know his intent is good." Genya joined you, slowly pouring the tea into your cup.

"I'm so sorry. I will scold him when he came back home."

"Ane-san." He flashed his bright smile. "You were the one who make us being 'a siblings' once again. This is how I thanked you."

You gently placed your hand on your stomach, while looking at him. "The baby was excited after you said that." He chuckled.

"I hope you're always healthy, Ane-san. Aniki really loves you."

Sanemi might be not that kind but he always listened to your carvings.

Even though it's weird ones.

"Mitarashi dango but with miso soup." "Baked snack but I just want the head."

"What the hell is that." But he will make extra effort for it, making sure that it's edible for your mouth.

"Sanemi, your crow looks good too."

"WHAT, NO-"

Or-

"Sanemi, I don't know why but I just wanted to smack you right now."

"With lips, su-"

"No, with-" *SLAP* "My hands."

"WHAT THE- HEY STOP, YOU'RE ABUSING FUTURE FATHER!"

Sometimes, it's all about mood swings.

"Hey, I'll go to run groceries. What do you want."

"Nothing."

"Why are you suddenly become shy like this? You usually shout to me to buy you oden at 3 fuxking a.m."

"Shush, language."

He didn't know both of you still could have sex until Shinobu told him even though you're pregnant, but Sanemi isn't risking it. For this 9 months or more, he'll be patient. Your health and happiness are his priority.

"I was thinking about second child."

"No, we won't talk about it until you deliver the baby safely."

"You're right." You pouted and slammed your head at his arm. "I wonder if my stomach will stretch, leaving marks here and there on my hip area. Maybe, when we had sex, the mood will suddenly turn off because-"

"Well, I never said that I'm not into scar or marks." Sanemi turned his head, smirking. Your face reddened, your hand playfully smacked his head.

"Pervert." Suddenly, you felt your baby 'trying' to break free.

You guided his hand. Sanemi fidgeted, slowly touched your big belly. He could feel small bulge kicking his palm. He became excited, and put his ear on your stomach.

The beats, he could sense it. The baby will be fine.

"We will raise the baby, together."

Sanemi really hoped everything going smooth when you finally stepped on the last semester.

He worked hard on everything, providing your food, extra small futon, the clothes, checking you up gradually and else.

But not all things are according to his plans.

Oyakata-sama suddenly gave you and Sanemi a mission.

"I'm afraid that my wife will have trouble to move anywhere and will detain this mission."

"I want her to rest too, Sanemi. I know it's hard to bring the baby, but I don't have any choice. (y/n)'s ability is the only hope to solve this problem."

Can't they wait until his wife safely giving birth?

Of course not.

With one heavy sighs, he finally accepted Oyakata's request. When he told you about the details, you said that he didn't need to worry.

The mission completed without a single stretch landed on your body because he really protected you.

But, you suddenly sat down on the ground, holding your stomach, panting heavily

"Sa- Sanemi. I-" He looked at you in horror. Blood started to gushing out down there. He quickly carried you out from the forest, took you to the nearest town that hopefully has doctor or better, maternity clinic.

Luckily, he found one. He rushed inside and told everything about your condition to anyone who in charge. His voice still sounded panicking but he managed to compose himself. The staffs said that he could wait outside and quickly took lead of your body.

Sanemi sat down on the engawa with mixed feelings. He prepared for the best, and the worst. He gripped his sword, feeling more than ready to slash anything who disturbed his wife.

But he can't concentrate.

It's strange place, strange people he didn't familiar with. If he could be so honest, he didn't want you to deliver your baby here. He can't completely trust them to take care of you, he want you to safely giving birth in Butterfly Estate because at least, he knew you're in good hand.

He heard you screaming and groaning in pain, he had to stay calm and regained his sanity to stay focus. If he wants, he wanted to hold your hands and encouraging you, telling that everything will be fine. But he can't just barge in, you needed him to be your guard in case something bad happens.

And those anxieties were suddenly gone when he heard cries of a baby.

He ran inside, still gripping his sword. He saw his baby, both of your baby.

"Congratulations, Shinazugawa-san. It's a boy!!" One of the staffs was handing him his baby. He dropped his sword, tremblingly embrace his child onto his chest.

But his happiness quickly distracted when he can't find you anywhere in this room.

"Where is my-"

"Doc! We need your help, her body temperature rapidly decreased!!"

His heart skipped a beat. He tightened his grip on his son.

"Shinazugawa-san-"

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY WIFE?!"

"Please calm down. I promised I'll save her. Your baby needed skin contact, please keep him warm."

"I WILL-"

"No, please stay here. Keep the skin contact with your baby, I'll be back soon." The doctor ran back to another room, shutting the door behind him.

Sanemi was alone in that room, with his son in his embrace, still crying. He kissed his temple, wrapping the fabric around him to make him more warm.

He sat down, sagged his back on the wall.

Busy to mumbling prayers on his baby's ears while crying.

..........

It was 3 months ago, now you're in the house, carrying your baby while sitting down on the futon.

Sanemi peeked up from the bedroom door, you nodded, signed him 'It's okay, he's sleeping now.'

"How's your body." He kissed your forehead, his fingers slowly rubbed circle on his son's cheek. The child quirked a soft smile, still sleeping peacefully.

"I'm all good. Thanks to Shinobu. If she didn't come that night, maybe I will not-"

"Gaaa!! Hehe!"

Both of you suddenly heard happy gurgling down there. The child woke up. Sanemi looked at you, feeling a little guilty because his voice woke him up after you finally made him sleep. You just chuckled and kissed your baby.

Sanemi's fingers traveled around his son's, wiggling them while smiling. His child's laugh echoed thorough the room, heard like angel's symphony to him.

He hugged you along with his baby.

"Sanemi?"

This is his treasure and happiness now. He will never lose it, he will never give up on raising his child, - or maybe soon, children -, he will always protect his little family, his own pearl.

"Thank you for everything you bring to my life."

[walled-flwr]

NATIONAL CITY DREAMS

[15 years into a Supercorp future... Kara and Lena are married with two children, 14 year-old daughter Athena Danvers - Luthor, and 10-year-old son, Leo Danvers - Luthor. Kara is still National City's hero and is head of Cat Co., Lena runs L Corp and is the most successful woman on the hemisphere. The kids are growing up, but there are some challenges to raising a Supercorp family]

LENA

I'm running late again. Damn it! I type furiously on my pad, keeping a surreptitious eye on the digital clock. I can't miss dinner for the fourth time this week. I know Kara says she understands (and she is the most understanding wife a woman could have), but I don't want this to become a pattern. Athena just shrugs - she's too cool for words and emotions - and goes back to her computer. Leo - my sweet baby boy - I can feel his heart break every time I cancel.

Edge International has been dodgy, what else would I expect? My phone rings, once, twice. I try to ignore it and focus on work so I can close this chapter for today, but it's my personal line. It could be Kara checking in. I pause in my work and look at the Caller ID.

Headmaster Sheffield, St. Genevieve's Prep.

I frown. Why is the kids' principal calling me? Has something happened to Athena or Leo? Hurriedly, I hit answer and put the phone to my ear.

"Headmaster Sheffield," I say, trying to keep my voice level. "Is something wrong? Has anything happened to Athena and Leo?"

Sheffield clears his throat. When he speaks, it's measured and cool. "In a manner of speaking, Mrs. Danvers Luthor."

I wait impatient him for him to get to it.

"Athena and Leo have been in an altercation."

My eyes widen and I groan. Not this again, I think. Athena has been having problems at school, and sometimes, she lashes out. This is a first for Leo, however.

I clear my own throat. "Altercation? I'll need you to be more specific."

"She punched a girl in the face. Miss. Somers needed medical attention for her bloody nose."

"And you're sure that this was Athena's fault?" I ask, immediately defensive.

"Mrs. Danvers Luthor, there were witnesses. Athena threw the first punch. You'll need to come and collect them both. They've been suspended for the rest of the week."

"What was Leo's role in all of this?" I pinch my temple, bracing for the worst.

"Apparently, he attacked a student who was trying to intervene, as well as using despicable language. We don't tolerate that here at St. Genevieve's Prep."

"Of course." I get to my feet, and snatch my handbag. This isn't how I envisioned the day going, but my children need me.

"Your wife has already been notified. I'd like to have the two of you in here tomorrow morning for a P.T.A conference to discuss Athena and Leo's future at our establishment." And with that, he hangs up.

I'm pensive on the drive across town to Athena and Leo's school. My first instinct is to be angry, disappointed. Being a Luthor means Living under a microscope. Kara and I sat Athena and Leo down as soon as they were old enough to understand. Because you're a Luthor, everyone automatically expects the worse from you. Hell, their uncle and grandmother are supervillains! Luthor's have to be careful, methodical, and most of all, cool. Brawling is unbecoming of Luthors. In the midst of my annoyance, I hear Kara's voice. She's gentle and understanding, and loving. Kara doesn't expect perfection, but humanity. She'd be upset, understandably, but she'd also listen to our children.

I channel my wife's positive as I drive into St. Genevieve's Prep. I spot Athena and Leo sitting under the statue. Athena, my beautiful girl, with her golden hair and thoughtful brown eyes. She is currently cradling Leo's dark head in her lap, and looking distastefully to where a group of girls have gathered to whisper.

Poor babies, I smile. But they're my babies,and I have to protect them. Leo spots me first and runs to hug me tightly. He buries his face in me and I squeeze him back. I love how he's never ashamed to show his affection, and I dread the day when he's grown up.

"Darling," I kiss the top of his head, and he looks up at me with those hazel eyes. "What have you been up to, little rabble rouser?"

Leo says in earnest, "I was protecting, Athena, Mom. That's what we do, right? We protect each other."

I smile, and kiss his forehead. "Of course, Sweet boy. We protect each other. Go on, in the car." Leo obeys, and I face Athena who's looking unsure. She looks so much like Kara, the angelic trusting face, but she's like me in so many other ways. It's not easy being a Luthor in high school, I know that from personal experience.

Athena lifts her chin as she comes to my front. "If you're going to tell at me, Mom, just get it over with."

I sigh and shake my head. "It's easier to yell and blame than to talk about how we're feeling."

Athena frowns. "OK, you're sounding like Mom."

"Good or bad?"

"I don't know..." Athens tucks a lock of her blond hair behind her ear and shuffles her feet. "I wasn't planning on hitting her, Mom. Ally was just saying all of these horrible things, dumb tabloid lies about you and... I just got so..."

"Angry?" I finish and she nods. "You're a Luthor. I know all about that game." I pull her in for a hug,and kiss the top of her head. "My beautiful, brave super girl," I say, and hear her sniffle. "You do your best not to make waves, but I'll never be angry with you for standing up for yourself. Ok?" Athena pulls back to look at me. Her green eyes are damp and she smiles. "What do you say to some Big Belly Burger? And all the ice cream we can gorge ourselves on?" My daughter grins and nods, before walking to the car.

I smile, feeling easier. There'll have to be a stern talk later, but for now, I just want to enjoy my children. My phone rings, this time it's Kara.

"Crisis Averted, Mrs Danvers Luthor," I say as I pick up. I hear Kara's laugh in the other end. "I knew I could count on you. What was it?"

"Long story short, our kids were doing what Luthors do best."

"Raising Hell?"

"While defending each other," I add. "I'm taking them out for some burgers and ice cream. Can you get away for some time?"

Kara groans in distress. "I had an impromptu session at the DEO. I can't get away."

"It's OK, Darling," I say, looking back at the car. Athena and Leo are joking around, and I smile. "I haven't had alone time with Athena and Leo in a while. I'll seize the opportunity."

"You're a great mom, Lena."

"I take inspiration from you," I smile. "I'm sorry I've been AWOL, Kara. You save the world, run Cat. Co and still make it in time for dinner and bath, I'm in awe of you."

"Kryptonian DNA."

"I love you, Kara."

"Not as much as I love you," she says, her voice lowering.

"Not possible," I murmur. "But, I'd like to show you just how much I appreciate and cherish you. What do you say to a weekend in Helsinki? Just the two of us?"

"Lena," Kara gasps, and I feel her brain working overtime. "But ..."

"Elizabeth hasn't seen Athena and Leo in months. I'm sure the kids will love some Midvale time. And what good is both of us being the heads of multinational corporations if we can't take some very much needed boss time off?"

"Lena, you're amazing. Yes."

"That's all I needed to hear," I grin. "I promise--"

I'm interrupted by the sound of a car horn. Leo is in the driver's seat looking very impatient.

"You owe two hungry kids some Big Belly Burger," Kara teases me. "Better get to it."

"See you at home?"

"Sure. I love you, Mrs Danvers Luthor."

"I love you, Mrs Danvers Luthor."

[krystaldragonart]

@ryukotoweek day 2: athletics (Bonus: Father’s Day!!)

Short Fanfic included: “Fourth Place Prize”

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This time around has been intense. The running, the crowd. He can see the finish line up ahead. He has hit a wall long ago, and he can tell he’s been slipping up at the very end. But, it doesn't matter now, as his family cheers him on from the distance, waving their hands telling him to keep going. He shoots a wide grin, picking up the very pace he needed to finish…

Fourth place.

He stops, bending over to catch as much breath as he needs. Sweat drips off of him like rain, his breathing was raspy as he was lent a towel to wipe himself off. He was definitely sweating from his neck and pits, and the remaining racers approached him with a good sort of sportsmanship.

“Sakamoto-San, it’s nice racing with you! You did very well compared to the practice run before.”

The faux blonde nodded, giving off a rough laugh and wise smile, patting his shoulder. “Man you were awesome though. I bet you made your family proud.”

The other racer made a soft laugh. “I sure hope so. This is the first time I made it this far. Honestly, Sakamoto, I have to thank you. You’ve been pushing me way farther than I could do myself. You have my gratitude.”

Even though Ryuji haven’t made it to the top himself, he felt just as proud helping someone to reach that point, as it makes it all worthwhile. “Hey, you’re still young, ok? It’s the least I could do. Now go and celebrate to your heart’s content. Just don’t go overboard though!”

The two shared a laugh, as the racer champ sets up to gather with the others. “Thank you, and you go have fun yourself!”

“Sure will….” He watches from the distance, smiling proudly as he continues drying himself with the towel, discarding it with the rest. He then hears a familiar shrieking sound, turning towards the direction as he sees a boy running up to him.

“Daddy!!”

“Hey, there’s my little kiddo! Did you enjoy watching the race?”

Ryuji kneels down to catch Tatsuo in his arms, seeing his mother, daughter and wife walking their way towards them. He couldn’t smile any wider as he then slowly stands up and waves a hello.

“It was awesome! You really showed the slowpokes who’s the real racer!” The daughter, Nyoko, caught up with the rest making a running stance to show what she meant. The son nodded in agreement, looking behind him hoping the others would catch up.

“I have to say, I guess seeing us cheering really brought the best in you in that last lap. You really did great out there, and we’re all proud.” Makoto gently comes up and kisses him on the cheek, giving off a genuine smile.

“Thank you guys. Just seeing you coming was the best part of the race. Sorry squirt, I guess I didn’t make the top three like I promised.” He looks over at his son, rustling his hair showing his appreciation. He mentioned to him multiple times like he would, saying he’ll sure to win a medal and take it home. The son just shook his head in response.

“It’s okay dad, I have even something better anyways!” Tatsuo takes off his backpack that he had on him from school, setting it down before him. “Now, kneel as I give you your most ultimate prize to date!” The boy declared, almost too adorable to be taken seriously.

The blonde father just scratched his head amusingly before kneeling. “Alright, you have my humble presence.” He played along, even bowing his head slowly so he could give his son some time to take out whatever he would have, not spoiling himself on the sort he may be showing right away.

“Don’t peek-!” He slowly takes out the prize, looking over at his dad to make sure he wasn’t looking.

“Heh, no worries, I’m not peeking.” He then kept his eyes closed, showing his trust. He has him take as much time as he needs, he can hear him shaking the item as if he’s trying to straighten it out. Shortly after, he felt his arms over his shoulders, a strap then lays around his neck with a sort of clanging noise. As the son was finally done, he took a few steps back.

“Ok, open your eyes!”

Ryuji did just so, looking down and seeing a rather matted shine on his chest. He holds it up with one palm for a closer look, a gray plastic like badge tied with a strap he felt earlier. He smiled warmly, looking up to Tatsuo as he seemed eager to know what he thinks.

“Wow, this is for me?” He asked with a surprised tone. “I love it! I’ll cherish it and have it be the start of my future medal collection!”

The boy just smiled proudly, crossing his arms and looking over at the sister. “See! I told you he’ll love it!”

“And, what’s this?” He noticed some glitter was on his hands, then looked at the strap that’s covered in it. “You added some special sparkles to make it extra special!?”

“Uhh…” Tatsuo looks at his sister once more, like he’s irritated about it. “That was Nyoko’s doing. I hold her not to since it wouldn’t look good. But she went and did it anyway, without me looking.” He shoots a glare at her, as she only laughed in response.

“Well I think it’s great!” Ryuji responded cheerfully. “Sometimes it’s better to add that little extra shine to make it stand out more. You can never go wrong with that.” He then stretches his arms out, offering a hug to his kids as they gladly come over to return one. “This is the best you guys, thank you!”

Makoto couldn’t help but place her hand over her smile on the ‘aww’ moment with the kids giggling, Ryuji’s mom seeing her reaction and chuckled lightly.

“You kids are so innocent these days. Wait till they get older sweety, it’ll be from tender moments to raging attitudes. But I’m sure you'll be just fine.” The mom mentions, knowing that teenagers are more unpleasant but also requires more heartening to take care of.

Makoto rolls her eyes on that thought. “That’s why I’ll want to spend as much time with them while their youth lasts. Unlike me, I won’t make them grow up too fast and have to deal with things they don’t need to yet, until the time is right of course.”

“Oh, knowing you I’d thought you would already be teaching them how to do their taxes!” The mother laughed, knowing Makoto being a serious type when it comes to educating her kids.

She just shook her head, returning a laugh. “No, Ryuji would totally be against the idea of intense work like that at such a young age. Not that I blame him of course. He says that fun is another kind of ‘work’, and therefore more important with their age. Honestly, he amuses me with those quirky answers.”

The mother just nods, smiling on the subject. “He wants them to live happily while possible. You two know how cruel the world can be. It’s only fair for him to make certain they enjoy their best times before realizing so.”

Makoto understands the matter, and smiles over to her. “Well, Nyoko seems to take interest in sports, we have been showing her the ways with that. Ryuji, mainly.”

“I’m glad she got herself a hobby. For all we know you may just be raising a future delinquent.”

“Oh- mother…” Makoto facepalmed on that thought, never wanted to think of it that way. The mother just laughed as Ryuji stood back up, ready to go.

“But boy am I starvin’? I gotta get my energy back! Where should we eat?” Ryuji decided to ask, getting the kids all excited about the idea.

“Big Bang burger!” Tatsuo mentions, already eager for the idea of a burger.

“Awww but we should go to LeBlanc! We haven’t been there in forever!” Nyoko retorts, as she favors Boss and his delicious curry that she always orders.

“Well what’s wrong with Auntie Sae’s place?” Makoto asked, almost as if she was offended. “She does enjoy having you two around.”

The kids just paused, showing no mere interest in coming over. “Sorry, but I think grandma is better when it comes to cooking.” The daughter said bluntly, making the rest of the family laugh out loud. Someone should get her a Coolifier Pad when they have a chance.

[punkscowardschampions]

Fraze & Ava

Fraze: Come home now Ava: I'm at Kylie's, we just ordered food Fraze: You didn't hear me say please 'cause I ain't Fraze: It's not a request Ava: Why do I need to, let's start there Fraze: You know why Ava: So I'm not allowed to go out now? Ava: We can talk later, when you've calmed down Fraze: I've cancelled two meetings, we can talk now Ava: I didn't ask you to do that Ava: God's sake Fraze: You want my attention, you've got it, like Ava: Get your own lines, yeah Ava: I don't want your attention, sorry to say Fraze: I've got a sister, I know what shit boyfriends are for, yeah Ava: Seriously? Ava: 🙄 Fraze: I also get what lads your own age are like, but you've got a bit far, don't you reckon? Fraze: *gone Ava: You don't get it at all if you think it's anything to do with anyone but me and him Fraze: Nah, what I don't get is why him Ava: Why anyone? Ava: I like him, it's as simple as that Fraze: Give me one thing you've got in common that ain't your postcode Fraze: He's at a different stage in his life, Ava, it's as simple as that Ava: Well we lack common familial DNA, how's that Ava: That's up for us to decide, not you Fraze: You really don't wanna start taking the piss right now Ava: It's literally not your business, you've never shown any interest in anyone else I've dated Ava: so I'm not going to sit here and justify anything to you now Fraze: Date someone your own age without any kids or a wife and we can go back to that Ava: And miss out on all this great attention? Ava: You're alright Fraze: You ain't half as funny as you reckon, and neither is this Ava: That's alright then 'cos I'm not joking about it Fraze: You are if you think I'm gonna pat you on the head for this, it ain't happening Fraze: You've got an important year of school to get on with, uni after that Ava: Can you please get a grip Ava: We don't all do things for head pats Ava: and? Fraze: Don't talk to me like that Ava: Then try talking to me like an adult Fraze: Try acting like one Ava: By doing what you want? Ava: Sure Fraze: By not storming out the second you don't get what you want, for a start Ava: You can't talk Fraze: I'm the one who started this conversation, if you ain't ready to have it, you ain't ready to do it Fraze: Throwing bullshit out like 'it ain't my buisiness' or 'you like him' as though any of it is that fucking simple Ava: What conversation? Ava: You've shouted all of this before I left Ava: but I'm pouting 'cos I'm not getting what I want, alright dad Fraze: You didn't listen then either Fraze: You want me to be sorry that it needs to be said, I ain't Fraze: You want me to be in the wrong for giving a shit about what you're doing, again, I ain't Ava: You know what they call repeating the same process and expecting a different outcome Ava: I'm not going to change my mind or change what I'm doing Ava: that's all there is to it, that's not up for debate because it's my decision, not yours, or a communal one Fraze: Neither am I, he's too old for you and he's got too much baggage Ava: So what? Fraze: So no good's gonna come of it Ava: You reckon Ava: but it already has Fraze: The honeymoon period's fucking boss, yeah? Fraze: Then what? Ava: More like it's nice when there's someone to come see you in hospital Fraze: Make up your mind, this is a dig at me or it ain't Ava: He's been there Fraze: I'm here Fraze: Talk to me Ava: I have Ava: you don't like what I'm saying that's your problem Fraze: Put yourself in my position Fraze: What's to like? Ava: You don't know him Ava: you give people a chance, that's how it works Fraze: It ain't about him, it's about you Fraze: I thought you had your head screwed on, that you knew what you were doing and could be trusted to get on with it Ava: I do Ava: I've not done anything wrong Ava: or changed what I've been doing Fraze: Bullshit, he's a married man Ava: And, you're really concerned about the sanctity of marriage now? Ava: It doesn't matter Fraze: I'm concerned if you're naive enough to fall for whatever sob story he's telling you Ava: Yeah, that's why I like him Ava: what the fuck is wrong with you all Ava: why is that who you think I am Fraze: You go through 'em, and there ain't nothing wrong in that, but he ain't some teenage boy Ava: Wow Fraze: Ask yourself what he sees in you, he's a grown man with responsibilities Ava: And I'm not a kid Fraze: Exactly, so grow up Fraze: He's using you 'cause his life is shit and you're gonna get hurt Ava: You grow up Ava: I can handle getting hurt Ava: I'm not going to not live my life in fear of Fraze: You can't save him, Ava Fraze: Don't fuck with your own future Ava: I'm not trying to, Jesus! Fraze: Nah, you're just having fun Fraze: And maybe it is fun now Fraze: See how fun you reckon it is when it ain't a secret any more Ava: It already isn't Fraze: Then stop Ava: I meant not a secret and you know it Fraze: Yeah right Ava: We're done here Fraze: You don't tell me when we're done Ava: Just did Ava: I'm staying here tonight Fraze: No, you ain't Ava: Yes I am Fraze: Come home or I'll bring you home Fraze: You don't wanna test me Ava: Yeah, you even remember where she lives? Ava: Doubt it Fraze: Try me Ava: I don't need to be there right now Fraze: If I tell you that you need to, you need to Fraze: End of Ava: No Fraze: If I get in this car, you're the only one who'll regret it Ava: I don't care Ava: make a scene Fraze: Fine Ava: You can't force me to go anywhere Fraze: We'll see, like Ava: Have fun Fraze: This ain't fun for me Ava: You think I'm going to apologize for anything now? Ava: No Fraze: I don't care Fraze: It ain't an apology I want Ava: You aren't getting what you want Fraze: No shit Ava: Then leave me alone Fraze: Look where that's got us Ava: This is not about you Fraze: Jesus Fraze: It's about you, the mistake you're making with this lad Ava: I can make mistakes if I want Ava: you can't stop me Fraze: That don't mean I'm gonna sit back and watch with my mouth shut Ava: Fine, you can waste your breath Fraze: It's the least of what I'm willing to do for you, you know that Fraze: I ain't never gonna stop trying, ever, with anything Ava: You can't expect me to be grateful about that when you're being totally unreasonable and insulting Fraze: You're my life, whatever I've gotta do to stop you from fucking up yours, I'm gonna do it Ava: I'm not fucking up my life Ava: nothing has changed Fraze: Not yet Fraze: How long before he's getting in the way of shit you wanna do with your mates, with uni? Fraze: He's not 17, he already has been Ava: He's not like that, at all Ava: and why do you suddenly think I'd let that happen Ava: if you give a shit about me, you should know who the fuck I am Fraze: People can hold you back without meaning to, I did it to your ma, I never wanted to drag her down, did I? Ava: Like mum would have let you if that's not what she wanted Fraze: She's better than me, she always has been Ava: No she's not Ava: and like your life is so shit, yeah Ava: what kind of cautionary tale do you think you can offer that even comes close to James' actual situation? Fraze: Our life is what we made it, so's yours gonna be Fraze: What do you want? Ava: I'm aware Ava: and I'm well aware of what I want too Fraze: What about him, what does he want? Ava: He literally has a job and just got his degree Ava: you all have no right to be so judgmental Fraze: It's concern Ava: 'cos you really vetted Rio out Ava: or any of the random coked-out skeletons Nancy has dated Ava: never mind the fact your own son had a kid not long after James had his, never mind you had Buster and Nancy not long after 16 either Fraze: You ain't your brother or your sister and I ain't trying to make the same mistakes Fraze: Or let you repeat mine Ava: Get over it Ava: You don't own the world's problems Ava: and you aren't the only decent people to have ever made them Fraze: Fuck's sake, Ava Fraze: He could be a saint and I wouldn't reckon he was good enough for you Ava: That's your issue, not his Fraze: You're my little girl, what do you want me to say? Ava: For God's sake Ava: I'm not a little girl now Fraze: I know Fraze: Gutted about it, like Ava: 🙄 Ava: Well I'm very sorry Ava: you'll have to deal with that too Fraze: Yeah Ava: I'll come back when we've eat, alright Fraze: Alright Ava: Okay? Fraze: I love you Ava: Let's not get crazy Ava: I love you too Fraze: And I'm sorry I weren't there when you got hurt Ava: It was just an accident Ava: not another planned attempt for some sweet, sweet attention Fraze: Piss off, I'm trying to have a heartfelt moment here Ava: Sure, now you are Ava: lead with something nice before attacking Fraze: I ain't in no position to judge anyone, yeah, I know that, and it honestly ain't the point Fraze: He'll be a decent enough lad if you like him Ava: Then don't use it as your first line of defense, yeah Ava: 'cos he is Ava: and like I said, and you put even more harshly, you've never given any of my many and varied boyfriends or girlfriends this degree of inspection Ava: you're assuming it's more serious and dramatic but it doesn't have to be Fraze: Come on, I'm doing my best Fraze: There's a reason your ma deals with this shit Ava: Oh yeah, she did great Ava: let's not saint her over it yet, like Fraze: Don't say a bad word about her to me, we ain't doing that Ava: Yeah, yeah Fraze: We're a team, simple as Ava: Yeah, it's just hilarious that you and Buster are trying to tell me anything when you won't listen to anyone about your spouses so Fraze: When you're in love and a lost cause, we'll all laugh it up Fraze: Until then, I'm gonna keep on at you Ava: Charming Fraze: I want better for you than anything I've ever done Ava: You're so dramatic Fraze: With good reason, life ain't been easy Ava: Okay, write your memoirs Fraze: I ain't got time for that, kid Ava: What a coincidence 😏 Fraze: Eat your food and get home Ava: Oh now you don't want me to hang out with my friends Fraze: Not her, she's well dramatic Ava: 😂 Fraze: I need a drink and your ma definitely does, so don't make me come looking for you Ava: Oh yeah, I really owe you one Ava: pfft Fraze: You can have one when you show your face, how's that? Ava: Bribery with alcohol? Ava: 10/10 parenting Fraze: Sounds about right Ava: 👌

[ververa]

“You are enough”

CHAPTER 7 (part 2)

And so the ceremony started. Ellie didn't leave her girlfriend even for a while – until a few of her aunts interfere. They claimed that since Ronnie is the youngest she would make a great job taking care of kids for a while when they will be chatting. The girl agreed and left them smiling at her girlfriend – who promised to join her soon. Little did Ellie know that the things were about spinning out of control.

Ronnie had never really liked spending time with children and there she was. Kind of trapped in the huge garden with a group of shouting little kids. At the very beginning everything was fine – they were enjoying themselves – doing the kids' things – and she was just watching, so that none of them can get hurt.

At the same time Ellie got stuck with the other women from the family. They were all mothers already and so they soon began to talk about having a family.

"So, Ellie" started one of them "Do you plan on getting married or something or is it just a kind of casual acquaintance?"

"She's my fiancee. And to be honest it was never just a casual acquaintance"

"Fiancee?"

"Yes. I proposed and she said yes" she smiled

"Oh my god! Really?" one of them exclaimed

"How long have you been together?" the other one asked

"Almost 2 years"

"And how did you two meet?"

"Well, she used to be my patient for a while"

"Wait. My child is being taken care of by a nut?" asked Lena

"And are going to have kids?" asked the other one at the same time

Ellie was confused

"I- Don't call her that! She's not a nut!"

Lena rolled her eyes at how protectively Ellie acted

"We... We talked about it, but we didn't decide yet"

"You should consider it. She's young and healthy. She can carry the baby. For now, but how long it will be like that?" Lena said as if she were an expert

"I'm not going to push her into anything. She doesn't like it"

"Sometimes you need to take the control over. Kind of put her in her place"

"I beg you pardon? What do you mean by this actually?"

Ronnie began to wonder what takes Ellie so long and why she still needs to look after the kids. She tried not to pay too much attention to how bratty they began to act, until one of them - a boy named Archie kicked the ball to the swimming pool.

"Fuck!" he yelled

"Watch your language" she reprimanded

The boy looked at her

"That's not what you told aunt Ellie when she was yelling fuck in the morning"

Ronnie stood there dumbfounded for a few seconds

"Aunt Ellie is a grown woman. She's allowed to use such words in particular situations"

"My mom never yells fuck"

"Well, maybe she doesn't have such situations with your dad"

"Like what do you mean?"

"Nothing. You'll find out when you're older"

"I want to know now"

"Archie, you're too little... We can talk about it when you're older. For now just go back and play with the rest"

"I won't until you tell me"

"I already said I won't. I don't like to repeat myself, so just do one!"

"I'll tell my mom!"

"Tell her what?"

"That you're not nice to me"

"I'm nice. Trust me, I can be worst than that"

"I want my ball back. Give it to me!"

"I'm not your servant. Ask me nicely and I'll think about it"

"Fuck you"

"Hey! Little..." she was about cursing, but bit her tongue "You'd better go back and play with the rest"

Archie huffed and ran towards the other boy who was holding his own ball. The boy tried to whip it off from him and when the other kid didn't let him, Archie jerked him with such force he fell down.

"Hey! Stop it!"

"Don't tell me what to do! You're not my mom!"

That was enough. Ronnie wasn't able to control herself any more

"You're lucky I'm not your mother. If I were you wouldn't even dare to act like a little arsehole you are!" she snapped at him

Archie looked at her. He already knew he won't get what he wanted with Ronnie, so he began to cry "Mommy!!!"

"Fuck..." she mumbled to herself seeing Lena walking towards them

"What happened sweetheart?"

"Ronnie is rude!"

"No! I just..."

"She didn't want to help me with pulling my ball out of water. And she said I'm stupid and called me an arsehole" he cried

"How dare you use such words with kids?! And how could you insult my son like that?! He's only a child!" "I did not! Oh my god... This is crazy"

"Crazy?! You're the one crazy thing here! I hope you won't have children, cause you will be a terrible mother!"

And suddenly there was a complete silence. Everyone was looking at them and waiting what will happen next. Ronnie got a load of all of them. They were staring at her as if she had killed someone. Her eyes met Ellie's – who just appeared at the backyard. She seemed to be furious and the girl freaked out. Ronnie walked into the house as soon as possible trying to hold her tears back.

"Are you satisfied?!" Ellie snapped at Lena "She did nothing to you and you little fucked up son. It's him! He always gets on everyone's nerves, but you don't see it. Or just pretend you don't. And you're the one who's a terrible mother! You not only can't reign over a 6 year old kid but also cannot control yourself! You're the one fucked up here!" and with this Ellie hurried to the house to find her girlfriend

_______________________-

"Ronney?" she knocked to the bathroom's door and would open them if the girl hadn't locked them from inside "Baby, open the door"

"Leave me alone!" she sniffled

"You know I won't" she sighed "Please, honey bun. Open. I want to see you"

"You saw enough"

"Ronney... She's a bitch and he is a spoiled brat"

Ellie didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to say, so as not to make the things even worst

"It wasn't my fault" she cried

"I know, baby"

"I didn't mean to... He was just..."

"I know. Open the door, Ronnie"

"She's right. I will be a terrible mother" she cried

"What? No! Ronnie, no. You won't. She's the one terrible here. Come on, open. I want to hug you"

"No. Ellie, please, just go away"

"I won't. I'm going to sit right here and wait until you open"

There was a long silence – no words were spoken and only some sniffles could be heard. Ronnie wanted to open. She wanted Ellie to hold her close, but was also afraid. She was sure Ellie thought the same as her aunts. She was terrified that she won't look at her the same way as she used to. That she would see a heartless woman not good enough to be a mother. Maybe not even wanting to be.

"Ronney? You don't have to open. Just... talk to me. Tell me what's bothering you, so I can fix it"

The girl took a deep breath

"I-I... What if..." she cried again; fresh tears streaming down her cheeks destroying her make up completely "She's right. I won't be a good mother. Not after all that happened. And I-I... Don't want to any more..."

"She is not. And she didn't have the right to judge you. She knows nothing. She doesn't know you the way I do. She doesn't know how carring and loving you are. She doesn't know how creative and talented you are. She doesn't know anything. And I think that if you will ever have a baby... that little creature will have the best mom ever. And he or she will be the luckiest kid in the world just like I'm the luckiest woman – having you"

And the sniffles stopped. Instead of them Ellie heard a click of the lock and then there was Ronnie – standing in the door. Her eyes were red and puffy and her makeup was smeared. She looked like a mess, but Ellie didn't care. She didn't pay attention to all of this. She only saw her precious girl.

"You aren’t mad at me?" she asked with shaking voice as Ellie approached her

"Why would I be?"

"I... I thought you think the same. And you don't want me any more, because I'm not good enough to... have kids"

"How could I ever think something like that?"

"I looked at you... And you were so furious. I could see it in your eyes"

"I was. I was furious, but not with you" she moved her hand towards the girl afraid that if she would do something more Ronnie may run away "Come here"

And she did. The girl let her girlfriend pull her closer and held her – still trembling – body.

"Shhh. It's okay. You're good" she said caressing the girl's back and hair in a soothing way "Shhh. Baby girl. There's no need to cry"

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be. You have nothing to be sorry for" she kissed her wet cheek

"I must look terrible right now"

"No... You look cute. Like a little panda" she chuckled

Ronnie smiled

"Here you are. That's my girl" she pecked her lips gently "Come on, let's get you cleaned and let's go back to the party. No bitch is going to spoil our fun tonight"

Ronnie nodded.

__________________

When they came back to the rest of the guests, Ellie didn't leave her until the end of the party. She was holding her close placing a soft and soothing kisses to the girl's forehead from time to time. She let her sit on her lap as they were watching how Ellie's cousin and his new wife were dancing together.

"She looks beautiful in those dress" Ronnie stated

"You will look way better in yours"

The girl looked at Ellie.

"What?" the older woman asked

"Nothing. Just... I love you"

"Oh, I love you too, princess"

"Do you think we can dance?"

"I..." she wanted to say that she doesn't dance, but those beautiful pleading eyes made here weak

"I mean, I know you don't dance. But I..."

"It will be my pleasure"

Ronnie smiled happily as she put her hands on the woman's hips.

"Just like I taught you. Move your hips" she instructed helping her to catch the rhythm

Luckily for Ellie it was one of the slow songs, so swaying was just enough – especially that Ronnie seemed to be exhausted.

They were dancing for a while, before Ronnie spoke up

"Ellie?"

The older woman hummed in response

"I think... I don't want to have kids"

"Ronney, she..."

"It's not because of her. I just don't want them now. Maybe in the future... But now I only want you"

And Ellie couldn't help, but hugged her tight

“I hate to interrupt” Robin and Stephanie stopped next to them “May I have this dance?” she offerend his daughter a hand

“I-” Ellie hesitated not wanting to leave her girlfriend

“Go” Ronnie smiled

“You sure?”

“Yes. Don’t worry, I won’t fight again”

“I’ll take care of her” Stephanie stated smiling friendly

Ellie looked at the woman, but say nothing. She seemed to get nervous around her. Ronnie knew about Ellie’s mother accident. The woman told her how she died and so on, but she never liked talking about her stepmother.

“How are you?” asked Stephanie as they were approaching the table

“I… I’m okay”

“I heard what has happened”

“Everyone did, probably”

“Don’t worry about it. Lena is just… herself. It’s hard to understand sometimes and she definitely doesn’t understand the women, who don’t want to have kids. For her only this matters”

“It’s not like I don’t want to have kids. Or maybe… I just don’t know any more”

“It’s okay not to want kids”

“You know… I think that maybe I want them, but I don’t feel like being pregnant. I had some eating disorders, you know. And I don’t think I can do this. I mean the woman’s body changes during and after the pregnancy… But I’m afraid to talk about it with Ellie. I don’t know why I’m telling it you. I barely know you”

“Well, sometimes it’s easier to talk with a stranger. And what’s you mother’s opinion? She definitely knows you better, so maybe she can help…”

“Actually, I don’t talk with her at all. She’s one of those toxic mothers, you know. So, it’s like I don’t have family at all” she smiled sadly

“Oh, I’m sorry”

At the same time, Ellie was dancing and talking with her father.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“That you… That you met someone”

“Dad… I just didn’t feel like…” she hesitated

“Visiting us? Calling?”

“I was busy”

“I bet you were. Look, I know you’re working a lot, but it would be nice to see you or at least hear your voice. I and Stephie”

Ellie rolled her eyes at the woman’s name

“We would like you to visit us tomorrow. We can have a dinner together or whatever you want”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. Ronnie is already at the edge. One more incident and it may be too much”

“We’re inviting only the two of you and Michael and Amy. No Lena there”

“I-”

“I ask you for two hours only. Do you think you can give me at least a little bit of your precious time?”

“I’ll talk about it with Ronnie” she stopped moving “I should look for her” she smiled and left Robin there

The girl was still sitting with Stephanie. They talked a little bit more about work and life in general. Ronnie smiled seeing the psychiatrist approaching them.

“I’m tired. Shall we go to our room?” Ellie asked not looking in Stephanie's direction

“Of course” she stood up “Thanks for the talk. It was really nice”

“You’re welcome” the older woman smiled

_______________________

It was bothering Ellie since they came back to the room. What were they talking about? Ronnie seemed to enjoy the conversation and in general the presence of her stepmother.

“What were you chatting about?” she asked finally

“About various things. Work – she said she would like to see my paintings” she said excitedly

“Great” she said without enthusiasm

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing”

Ronnie arched her eyebrow questioningly

“You like her, don’t you?”

“She’s nice…” the girl shrugged “Why shouldn’t I like her?”

Ellie looked at the girl

“She’s my stepmother!”

“So what? She didn’t do anything wrong, did she?”

“She took my mother’s place!”

“Well…” she thought for a while “Maybe you should appreciate it. Just be happy that you have someone like Stephanie, who wants to act like your mom”

“I didn’t ask her to act like that. I didn’t want her to. I never did!”

It was hard for Ronnie to talk about such topics, so she got riled up quiet easily

“You, at least, have a good mother figure. You should respect it instead of making problems out of nothing!”

“So, I’m the bad one now?!”

“I didn’t say that” she sat on the bed “I just… I’ll do anything to have someone like Stephanie. Even if she would be my stepmom. Maybe it’s high time you appreciated it?!”

“Well, maybe you still need someone who will replace your mother, but I don’t! I’m capable of being on my own”

Ellie’s eyes widened with terror, as she realized what she just said. Ronnie said nothing. She only stood up before the woman could grab her hand

“Ronney… I-”

“I’ll take a walk” she said walking towards the door

“Baby?” she wanted to go after her

“Don’t! It’s enough for today. I need some fresh air”

“Ronnie I didn’t mean...”

The girl shook her head leaving the room.

Ronnie didn’t know where to go, so she simply went to the terrace. She smoked 2 cigarettes, before Stephanie appeared.

“What are you doing here? I thought you’re with Ellie in your room”

“Well” she shrugged “We argued”

“What happened?” she came closer

Ronnie looked at her. She barely managed to hold her tears back.

“Oh, I’m sorry. It’s not my business probably”

“No. It’s okay”

Stephanie smiled friendly

“I’ll bring you a blanket, so we can sit here and talk. If you want of course” the older woman said

Ronnie nodded. And after a while Stephanie was back with a fluffy material.

“Here you are, sweetheart”

“Thank you”

Stephanie only smiled making her way to the chairs and pointing at the girl to sit down too.

“Ellie is… an incredible person, but it’s hard to get to her sometimes”

“Yeah. It is” she agreed

“She acts like she doesn’t care, but she does”

“Yes, I know. You see, I tried to get to her many times. I wanted… I don’t know. Just I treat her as if she were my own child, even though I know she hates me for some reason…”

“She thinks you wanted to  replace her mother”

“I… I did not. I have never wanted it. I knew I won’t be able to replace Amanda – I’m nothing like her. But I  hoped that maybe we could at least befriend. You know, it’s good to have someone…”

“Yes. I know, but she doesn’t understand how it is when you have to be on your own for the whole time. And she probably thinks it’s stupid that I want such person…” she wiped her cheek, as she could feel the tears escaping her eyes

“She doesn’t. She loves you”

“But she said so”

“What? What do you mean?” she offered her hand to the girl and Ronnie gladly took it

“That I’m not capable of being on my own. That I cannot take care of myself and so on… But you know, I’m just tired of it. I had to do this for my whole life. I love her. I really do, but it hurt”

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m sure she didn’t mean it. She was probably nervous and wasn’t thinking about what she’s saying”

“Yeah… It is probably too much for the one night. First, Lena almost called me a monster and said I will never be a good mother and now Ellie”

“I don’t know you good enough, but I’m sure you’ll be a great mother one day. You’re caring and full of love that you’re eager to give to someone”

“But I don’t know if I want it”

“You’re young. You have a lot of time to think about it. And if you won’t want to carry the baby, you can always think about adoption. Ellie has never wanted to talk to me, so I’m not experienced when it comes to such conversations. But it’s okay to not being sure about something. It’s okay to have doubts. We’re all only humans – we all make mistakes”

As the door shut Ellie broke down. She was devastated – not only because of a painful memories, but because she hurt the most important person in her life. She did it in the worst of possible ways and couldn’t get over it. She cried for some time and when the tears didn’t want to fall any more she was just laying in bed. She was thinking. Recalling everything that Ronnie said. Maybe she was right. She definitely was – of course. Ronnie was younger, but was probably one of the most intelligent people Ellie knew. The woman sometimes wondered how it could be – that she knows so much. That she knows what to say, how to act in certain situations – when even she – the great psychiatrist didn’t.

She began to think of Stephanie – how she was always there for her, but she was too stubborn to appreciate it. It hit her all at once and she felt terrible.

She was brought back from her thoughts by a light knock to the door. Ellie stood up slowly and opened. It was Stephanie

“Hi” the older woman smiled “I just want to tell you that Ronnie fell asleep on the couch. So, don’t worry about her. She’s… well, hurt, but safe” she smiled and wanted to leave

“Wait” Ellie stopped her

“What is it?”

“Thank you”

“Not for what” she smiled “But you should apologise to her – whatever happen. It doesn’t matter whose fault it was. Just apologise and tell her you love her. She deserves it”

Ellie moved to the woman and surprised her with a hug

“Thank you for everything” she said

Stephanie didn’t know how to act at first, but soon she hugged her back.

“I’m sorry” Ellie sobbed

“Shhh. Don’t cry. It’s okay”

“D-do you think I can go to her now?”

“I think you can”

“Thanks” she pulled away wiping her tears and chuckling a bit embarrassed with the whole situation

_______________

“Hey” Ellie whispered kneeling in front of the sleeping girl

Ronnie opened her eyes slowly

“I…” she wanted to say something

“No, no. It’s my fault. You were right about everything. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. It didn’t come out properly. I know you are able to be on your own, but you don’t have to. I don’t want you to. I want you to rely on me, always. No matter what happens. I love you.”

“I love you too”

At this Ellie kissed her.

“Will you come back to bed with me? I cannot sleep without you by my side”

“I will” she hugged her

The psychiatrist smiled and lifted her almost effortlessly. Ellie carried her to their room and made sure the girl slept as close as possible to her that night.  

[punkscowardschampions]

Chloé & James

Chloé: You were SO unreceptive at dinner Chloé: more than usual Chloé: your sister is now talking to ME, asking what's wrong James: tell her to forward it to me Chloé: It isn't a business email Chloé: I'm your WIFE Chloé: I should know what's going on in your life but you never tell me anything James: & yet it'll end up in my father's hands regardless Chloé: Oh how dreadful that your loved ones are concerned about you James: they aren't concerned, Chloé James: simply in need of dinner entertainment James: it's as good an icebreaker as anything else, that's all Chloé: How dare you Chloé: I'm very concerned that you won't tell me Chloé: That always been great things, yeah? James: Matilda's crying can you go and be concerned about her, please? Chloé: Trying to change the subject and call me a bad Mum Chloé: Thanks so much, James James: I'm just asking you to check the baby is okay Chloé: She's a baby, they cry Chloé: and you don't know what I'm doing as well as trying to communicate with you James: I know you're not brushing Jay's hair because I am Chloé: Good Chloé: that doesn't change the fact we need to talk Chloé: or you need to talk to your sister and CONVINCE her you're fine Chloé: you make me look bad too when you do this James: I'll call her as soon as I get the chance Chloé: Yes, thank you Chloé: Can you plait her hair, please Chloé: I want it in ringlets for school James: you know she prefers to wear it loose, your punishments are getting more creative Chloé: IT IS NOT A PUNISHMENT Chloé: Don't be morbid Chloé: it looks scruffy loose James: well, if you'd agree to letting her have it cut, that wouldn't be a problem Chloé: So she can look like a little boy Chloé: I'm saving her the future embarrassment of looking back on awful photos James: okay James: I'm sure she'll thank you then if not me right now for these plaits James: would you like them french? Chloé: I'm looking after the baby, I can't be in two places at once Chloé: and no, lots of little ones James: but if I do them as two neat ones they can stay in Chloé: I don't WANT them to stay in Chloé: when you take it out in the morning she'll have lots of curls Chloé: [sends reference pics like he's an idiot] James: fine Chloé: Thank you James: do you know where all her school socks have gone? Chloé: Ugh, no idea Chloé: My Mother needs to bring some laundry back I think Chloé: she'll have to wear tights James: she'll be upset enough about the curls Chloé: I can't magic socks out of thin air! James: no, but you could call your mother while I call my sister Chloé: Please get a grip, James Chloé: I'm not chasing up socks at this o'clock the night before School Chloé: she'll have to deal, you spoil her James: she'll make herself sick, Chloé, you know the state she gets herself worked up into James: & it's me who'll have to deal with that Chloé: She's not a baby Chloé: she needs to learn Chloé: She's jealous of Tilly James: I'm well aware of her age, she's only 6 Chloé: Old enough to put tights on and suck it up James: I'm not having this fight with you again Chloé: Then you do something about it James: I will Chloé: 👏 James: I'm going to your mother's, do you need anything else? Chloé: She'll tell you James: please put Matty in her car seat for me Chloé: Why? James: because the drive will put her to sleep James: I can't be up with her all night Chloé: Okay Chloé: hang on Chloé: [is ages] James: Chloé James: I don't have time for this Chloé: Excuse me Chloé: You think you're the only person doing things? James: my thoughts are currently taken up with asking myself why it is you're incapable of doing one simple thing that I ask you to James: are you that mad at me for my supposed behaviour at dinner? Chloé: Well now I'm mad at you for the way you're speaking to me Chloé: [throws child at him] James: however you feel, don't take it out on our children Chloé: You upset me and then I'm the bad guy Chloé: Sounds about right James: I'm sorry if you're upset but I fail to see what I've actually done wrong James: at any point this evening Chloé: You could barely hold a conversation Chloé: with YOUR family Chloé: it was mortifying James: because I've been working for them non-stop James: & because I can't have so much as a single glass of anything alcoholic without my sister believing that I need to go back to rehab Chloé: Exactly Chloé: You've already proven yourself as weak in that capacity Chloé: Of course they're going to think that whenever you're behaving odd Chloé: I know better but that's not a happier picture to paint James: you'd rather they think I've relapsed than tell them the truth? Chloé: You tell me, James Chloé: Because I don't think I know the truth right now, do I James: what gory details are you hoping I'll divulge exactly? Chloé: Your actual addiction Chloé: Don't play dumb James: I'm a recovering drug addict, that's all James: if that disappoints you, I'm really sorry Chloé: If you were sorry you'd be a faithful, loving husband to me Chloé: I'm sorry you aren't having a spa retreat because you can't keep it in your pants James: like you were so apologetic when you had sex with that guy last time you were at the spa? Chloé: You make me feel terrible about myself Chloé: you don't pay me any attention Chloé: of course I have to go somewhere else Chloé: I'm a woman, I need to feel loved James: sometimes you deserve to feel terrible about yourself Chloé: How could you say that? Chloé: I gave you your kids James: & they'll always be the best thing that ever happened to me James: this isn't Chloé: Then act like it Chloé: it's a package deal, a family Chloé: treat me with the respect I deserve James: I do act like it James: there's no more I can physically or emotionally do Chloé: Well it's not good enough Chloé: I need you Chloé: When's the last time you came near me James: you know when Chloé: Yeah, when you want another kid, I'll get a look-in, okay Chloé: I'm a person too, you know James: it wasn't me who wanted another child Chloé: So now it's my fault Chloé: and Tilly's a mistake Chloé: Wow James: if it makes you feel better to twist every single word that comes out of my mouth James: I love her, you know I do Chloé: You know I won't have you around them if you are going to say things like that Chloé: I have to protect them James: you can't protect them with lies Chloé: You just said you didn't want her! Chloé: and we know Jay's situation is far from ideal James: I didn't want to bring another child into this, no sane person would Chloé: They have everything Chloé: Including a good dad, when you're not going around fucking every whore in sight James: I don't do that any more Chloé: I know you do, you're different Chloé: I know Chloé: I'd rather you were on the blow James: how can you say that Chloé: Everyone still does it Chloé: You just have to take it too far Chloé: Handle your shit like a man, why can't you James: you don't understand, you never fucking have Chloé: You don't wanna admit I have a point, more like James: there are things I'd rather not admit, that's not one of them Chloé: Don't taunt me Chloé: You know when I find out who she is Chloé: I will let everyone know what she is James: there's nobody to find out about James: all of that is over Chloé: you have to be getting it somewhere Chloé: it's not from me James: I told you, I'm not a sex addict Chloé: How can I believe anything you say, James? Chloé: That's the problem James: the problem is, you'd prefer to label me as a sex addict who fucks whores than admit what the actual problem is Chloé: The problem is you Chloé: you don't treat me how you should Chloé: Leave the baby with my Mother James: yes, but not just me, you've never treated me right either James: & no, I'm not going to do that Chloé: I'm not going to be in any state to look after her tomorrow Chloé: Not now Chloé: I'm going to bed, the sofa has your name all over it Chloé: or your whore's, I don't care anymore James: that's barely a threat James: I'll look after her, as I would on a typical day Chloé: University is over, James Chloé: You'll be working full-time now Chloé: You can't turn my own daughters against me James: I'll take her to work with me or I won't go in, nothing is as difficult as you'd like to make it Chloé: Sure, you can explain to your Father why you've got her Chloé: and how you treat me whilst you're at it James: he's well aware of everything I do for you & our family Chloé: Ha! James: we can't go on like this, Chloé Chloé: Goodnight James: you wanted to talk Chloé: And you've made me cry Chloé: Goodnight James: please Chloé: Unless you're apologizing I have no interest in whatever you think you need to say James: I'm sorry I made you cry Chloé: Yes, you should be James: I don't want things to get as bad as they were before Matty, okay? Chloé: You know how to make it better James: no I don't Chloé: Show me you're sorry James: what does that even mean? Chloé: For God's sake, James! Chloé: You weren't an actual virgin when we got together, why are you like this Chloé: it means presents and meals and trips and showing me off James: why do you think that'll make anything better? James: the only person that benefits is you Chloé: You are so selfish James: I honestly wish I could be Chloé: You should have thought about that James: of course I should've James: but I wasn't thinking then Chloé: You have responsibilities Chloé: as a Father AND as a Husband Chloé: and you neglect me and I'm sick of it James: you're sick of it Chloé: And what is that supposed to mean? James: it means what the fuck am I if not sick of it too! Chloé: Well, it's tough, like I said! Chloé: You're my Husband and the Father of my kids and that's the end of it James: I'm taking Matty & Jay & we're going to my parents Chloé: No you are not Chloé: You don't get to take them anywhere Chloé: not away from me James: I'm their dad James: & you said yourself that you're not going to be able to look after them tomorrow Chloé: You aren't taking Jay anywhere Chloé: leave Tilly with my parents Chloé: if you take them, I swear I'll call the police James: I'm not leaving her with you James: not when you're like this Chloé: I'm trying to go to bed! Chloé: You come home Chloé: now James: you're trying to proposition me James: I'm not coming home to that Chloé: I said you're sleeping on the sofa, how could you possibly get that from that? Chloé: I've long since given up on you in that department, as we both know James: explain Matilda then Chloé: She's a bloody year old Chloé: You think I've not had sex in a year? Chloé: and I know you have so don't try to make me feel bad Chloé: maybe if you didn't get it other places, we could have a normal sex life but that's never gonna happen, is it James: we've never had a normal sex life, Chloé Chloé: Cecily and Marc do it every night Chloé: and they've been together ages now James: I'm so happy for them James: but that's never going to be us Chloé: Why are you so shit Chloé: at everything Chloé: I don't get anything James: what more do you want from me? Chloé: That's such a ridiculous question Chloé: I want us to be a happy family, like I have to put on the brave face and pretend to the world we are Chloé: You know this James: yes, it is, because you've got everything that I am capable of giving you James: we're not a happy family, let me go Chloé: No Chloé: You're the Father of my Children Chloé: you're all I've got Chloé: we have to make the best of it James: you don't love me James: don't you want to be in love? Chloé: I want you to love me James: no, you don't James: you want me to do as I'm told James: I'm not a child or a dog Chloé: Why don't you love me? James: because James: I don't even like you Chloé: You're killing me James: we're killing each other James: let me go Chloé: I can't James: I can't do this any more Chloé: We have to Chloé: there's no out James: of course there is, marriages end Chloé: No Chloé: I can't do it alone and I won't Chloé: you know I won't James: you wouldn't be James: I'm not leaving the kids Chloé: Stop Chloé: You aren't leaving anyone James: Chloé Chloé: You aren't Chloé: I will not be divorced James: you can't force my hand forever Chloé: but I can Chloé: I'm the Mum and you know the courts would favour me Chloé: there's nothing you can do about that James: I've still got rights Chloé: Try it Chloé: I can assure you, you'll never see them again James: don't say that Chloé: No, I mean it Chloé: You are not leaving me James: you can't stop me from seeing them, I'm not unfit Chloé: I will Chloé: there's so much I could use against you James: it's been years since I touched drugs James: & everything else I've done, you have too Chloé: If you're willing to risk it Chloé: shows how much they mean James: you know how much they mean to me Chloé: Then stay Chloé: Be a Father James: I am a father Chloé: Not if you leave Chloé: I'll make sure of that James: I told you, I'm not leaving them James: but I can't be with you Chloé: You have to be Chloé: they're mine Chloé: and I'm not being used as a babymaking factory and then discarded James: that's not what happened Chloé: yes it is Chloé: you don't love me and you never have Chloé: you don't even like me James: but I didn't set out to use you Chloé: You made promises Chloé: legally binding ones Chloé: I will ruin you James: I know I did Chloé: Every penny you earn will be mine Chloé: You can't get rid of me, so stay James: I don't care about the money, you can have it Chloé: You don't care about anyone but yourself James: that's not true James: you said I was a good father Chloé: I don't think that now Chloé: you're playing with their lives James: I'm trying to make their lives better Chloé: Why don't you murder me Chloé: you want me out of the way James: stop it Chloé: No James: you're their mum, they need you too Chloé: No one needs me Chloé: and no one wants me Chloé: not even you James: they both do Chloé: you've poisoned them Chloé: Tilly can barely crawl and she already prefers you James: I spend more time with her, that's all James: don't keep giving her to your mother Chloé: Don't tell me what to do Chloé: I try! Chloé: See, you're poison Chloé: they'll never love me James: Chloé Chloé: Leave me alone Chloé: you've ruined my life James: I'm sorry James: I never wanted things to be like this Chloé: Do you think that's good enough? Chloé: You all ruined my life Chloé: I'm everyone's last choice James: you have to take some responsibility Chloé: This is your fault Chloé: you and your fucking friends Chloé: I tried, so much harder than any other girl, to be what you wanted Chloé: and you all just threw it in my fucking face James: this isn't what anybody wants Chloé: Fuck you Chloé: you've said enough Chloé: I know I'm the fattest and the ugliest but I can't help that James: you're not James: it's not about what you look like Chloé: It always is Chloé: McKenna would rather fuck his own flesh and blood just because she's hot James: he's got nothing to do with why we aren't right for each other Chloé: You're all the same Chloé: if it weren't you it'd be one of the others Chloé: you're all horrible James: I am horrible, but so are you Chloé: I'm miserable Chloé: everyone hates me James: you don't have to be James: miserable or hated Chloé: Yes I do Chloé: I've never been anything but Chloé: people pretend to like me Chloé: for a while James: you don't have to have Diana drive you to rehab in order to make changes James: it's not the only way Chloé: I hate my life Chloé: I don't even like the girls James: you don't mean that Chloé: Yes, I do Chloé: at best, I feel nothing Chloé: most of the time there another thing in my life that refuses to go right James: you just need help Chloé: I didn't want them Chloé: I didn't want you Chloé: none of this is right James: so we'll change it Chloé: No Chloé: I don't have the energy Chloé: What I want, I can't have Chloé: so neither can you James: please James: I can help you Chloé: Don't make me laugh Chloé: I want to go away and start again and be another person Chloé: I'll be so so slim and beautiful and everything I say and do will be cool and funny and right and everyone will love me and I'll find someone who worships me James: neither of us get that luxury James: Jay and Matilda exist James: you & me exist as we are, with all our mistakes Chloé: Oh I'm sorry, who got to piss off to rehab like they were some kind of celebrity Chloé: I'm going James: it wasn't like that Chloé: Whatever Chloé: you left James: I had to James: for everyone's sake James: you think I'm useless as I am now, who I was then would be worse Chloé: at least we had fun Chloé: I'm so bored Chloé: this is all so boring James: did we? Chloé: I did Chloé: Who wouldn't rather be at a party doing lines than staring at a fucking baby all day Chloé: changing shitty nappies and feeding it slop James: you didn't have to keep her James: you decided to Chloé: I was 15 Chloé: what the fuck did I know Chloé: who the fuck decided I could make that decision Chloé: it was wrong and I've lived to regret it that's for fucking sure James: you weren't 15 when you decided to do it all again Chloé: You were leaving then too James: how many children do you think will make me stay? Chloé: Only needed the one James: you can't treat people like this James: it's fucked Chloé: If I don't get to be happy Chloé: you don't either Chloé: someone else had to feel it too Chloé: not get happy endings they didn't fucking deserve Chloé: not over me James: our daughters deserve to be happy Chloé: you make them happy James: I try Chloé: you do Chloé: so don't leave them James: I won't Chloé: Good Chloé: come back yeah James: are you going to try too? Chloé: I do James: I mean it, Chloé Chloé: I just told you how hard I try Chloé: listen to me, for fuck's sake James: it's hard to hear, but I am Chloé: Try living it James: okay James: I'll be right next to you living it Chloé: I'm going to bed now Chloé: do not let them wake me James: wait until I get back at least Chloé: why James: because we need to do things differently somehow Chloé: its far too late for that Chloé: I've never loved you either Chloé: you can stay and you can know that Chloé: anyway, i took some sleeping pills Chloé: I'll be out James: how many? Chloé: enough to keep me asleep 'til you're all out of my sight tomorrow James: you understand what I'm asking Chloé: calm down, i wanna feel good not die Chloé: she's watching tv James: I'm coming back now Chloé: yep Chloé: you are