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[pacificappliancerepair]

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[twilightinanotherlife]

Invitations Make For Selfish Behavior

[First Day Phenomenon] [Risk & Visions]

Fandom: The Twilight Saga x Life and Death

Pairing: Bella Swan/Edythe Cullen

Rating: Teen

Warning: Blood and blood consumption, grief, and implied homophobia.

Word count: 3,825

Summary: Against her better judgement, Bella accepts Edythe’s offer to be her ride while her car is in the shop. Bella faces bigotry from her classmates, but finds an ally in Jessica Stanley.

January 25, 2005 (Bella’s POV)

I could feel Edythe’s eyes on me as I entered my house. The sound of the door closing was quickly followed by the sound of Edythe’s Volvo pulling out of my unpaved driveway. I forced myself to not peak out the door’s window, less she sees me blushing. I stayed by the door and listened until I heard her car turn off onto the next street. What was it about the bronze-haired goddess that made my slow heart race and my face flush with affection?

I walked down the short front hallway, entered the small dining area, and placed my bag on the small round table in the corner. The walls were wood paneled, and the carpet was dull gray. It was cold in the house, so I tossed some logs into the old furnace that I had walked past on my way into the dining room. Room was a bit of a stretch. The entire house couldn’t have been more than nine hundred and fifty square feet. To the left of the dining area was a kitchenette. From the refrigerator, I pulled out a gallon of cattle’s blood (it was amazing what you could buy at the butcher shop) and poured it into a glass I had produced from the cabinet. Cattle was by no means my favorite, but it would do until I could go hunting and restock my supply of wildlife blood. I settled into the cushioned chair I kept near the furnace. I spent a few moments warming myself and savoring my drink before getting up to search for a phonebook that was lying around here somewhere.

Finally finding it, I returned to my chair and opened the pages to “E” section. I quickly found what I was looking for. “Eagle Auto Repair & Towing”, the auto shop that Edythe had told me had towed mine and Tyler’s vehicles away. I called the number listed. A front desk clerk answered and after explaining who I was and the situation I was put on the line with a mechanic. I was told that my truck wouldn’t be available until Saturday. Holding back a frustrated groan I thanked the mechanic before hanging up. I then tossed the phonebook onto the floor where it landed with a thud. The sound echoed in my ears. To human ears the noise wouldn’t have been noticed, but to my ears the sound vibrated against my skull. It was a nuisance, but I could deal with it.

Back in the kitchen I rinsed out my glass in the sink, washed it, and dried it with the kitchen towel. After which I returned to the dining table where I had placed my bag. I seriously considered forgetting the homework that had been assigned. Surely the teachers would understand why I hadn’t been up to doing it? In the end I decided to just get the work done and over with. It hadn’t taken long at all, and I finished within the hour. I glanced at the wall clock and saw that it was a bit past five pm. So, I returned my books to my bag and myself to the kitchen to throw together a quick dinner of spaghetti and meatballs. After I finished my meal and cleaned the kitchen, I dug out the copy of “Mansfield Park” that I had at a local bookstore. The store’s selections had been low and mostly unappealing, so I was pleasantly surprised to find one of my favorite Jane Austen novels.

It had been over two months since Dad was murdered, since my entire life had been turned upside down, and since then nothing in the world felt right. So, when I found “Mansfield Park” buried among a pile of discount books, I felt closer to Dad than I have in a long time. Charlie Swan had been a simple man. His main goals had been to raise me to be independent and to know that I was loved. And to make the most of his immortal existence. Which meant engaging in the activities he loved most; fishing, baseball and reading. Charlie had been a vampire since 1687 and had found many ways to occupy his time. One of which included reading books. Dad had been partial to horror and mystery novels but had a hidden love for the classics. Such as “Jane Eyre” and “Wuthering Heights.” Then he had me and when I was old enough, he introduced me to his favorite authors and their works. Now, as I turned the pages of my book, I felt my father’s presence.

I methodically turned the pages of the novel, carefully reading each word. Even going back to reread sentences, then paragraphs, and then whole pages. As I read and reread the pages the minutes ticked by. As the minutes turned to hours, I knew that I was prolonging the inevitable lull of sleep. It was my least favorite time of day, or rather night, when I had to sleep. It was the only time when I was completely unguarded. And if that wasn’t bad enough, it was the only time that the nightmares took over. Only they weren’t nightmares but were horrible memories that were far too real.

The wall clock chimed to tell me the hour. Eleven o’clock on the dot. Reluctantly, I put my book away and put out the furnace. The whole house steadily became cooler and cooler. I went through my nightly routine. Which mostly consisted of a long hot shower where I spent most of it scrubbing mercilessly at the crescent scar that disfigured my wrist. For several weeks while on the run I had managed to hide out in a mountain home in Wyoming. It had once been my childhood home where Charlie had taught me how to control my vampire abilities. Dad and I had traveled all over the country since leaving Wyoming, but that place had always felt like home. I felt safe there. That was until James found me. He attacked me and I crippled him by tearing off part of his leg, but not before he managed to sink his teeth into my wrist. The fire of the venom as it coursed through my veins was excruciating, but I wasn’t going to let it stop me from escaping. I knew that the pain wouldn’t last long. It would die down to an annoying sting before my own venom completely eradicated it from my system. So, I forced myself to run. To get as far away from James as possible while he reattached his leg and recovered. Now, the only evidence of my last encounter with the sadistic vampire was my ugly scar.

The water had long been running cold before I turned off the shower. I stepped out and wrapped myself in a fluffy towel. I grabbed the brush and worked it through my hair. It was long, dark, and straighter than I’ve ever been. As I worked the bristles through the strands of hair, I took notice of the various shades that human eyes could never see. Strands of mahogany and bistre wove their way through the brush. All the strands and shades of brown twist together to make the dark brown that my school peers saw. Only under sunlight would they see shades of red. My dark hair contrasted with my cream-colored skin creating a striking effect. The fog cleared from the mirror, and I caught sight of my arms. The muscles underneath my smooth skin were strong and lean. I never considered myself vain, but I knew I was beautiful. I knew that I was just as lovely as a vampire.

I placed the brush down on the bathroom countertop. As usual, not a single thread of hair had tangled itself in the bristles. Perk of having unbreakable hair. I dried off, threw on some flannel pajamas, and brushed my teeth. The venom that coated my teeth was acidic to anything that could possibly stain them, but I liked the tingling clean sensation that spearmint toothpaste left behind. My bedroom was a second story loft space that overlooked the dining area. Just like the living room below, the loft space was carpeted. Though rather than gray the carpet was a faded golden brown. I crawled under the quilt of my bed and forced my eyes to stay open. I did not want to face the horrifying nightmare, but as the rain fell against the windowpane it created a hypnotic effect. Bit by bit my eyelids grew heavy and even with supernatural strength I couldn’t keep them open.

The next morning, I awoke to find that neither James nor Victoria had murdered me in my sleep. I considered that a good start to my day. Once I dragged myself out of bed, I poured myself a bowl of cereal in the kitchen. The room was still dark as the sun hadn’t even risen yet, but thanks to my superior sight the darkness didn’t hinder my movements. The rain from last night had let up but I could still hear the sound of the morning mist against the walls of my house. Sitting at the kitchen counter, I slowly at the bowl of cereal. As I chewed my food, I considered calling Edythe. The clock read six thirty, that wasn’t too early to call right? I knew that she was a vampire, that she didn’t sleep, but she didn’t know that I knew that. Would it really be so bad if she knew I am a vampire-human hybrid? No, it wouldn’t, but getting Edythe =dragged into my troubles and possibly hurt would be. Perhaps it would be best to keep her at arm’s length. I put the empty bowl in the sink and returned to my room. I rummaged through my dresser and pieced together an outfit for the day. Not sure how I managed to take my time selecting an oversized sweater and faded jeans, but I did. It was just after seven as I laced up my boots. School didn’t start for another hour. To pass the time I brewed myself a cup of tea and sat down on the carpeted steps that led to the loft. From there I could see, off in the distance, the first rays of sunlight breakthrough the trees.

As I sipped my tea, I heard the sound of a familiar engine. I smiled to myself. That was Edythe’s car in the distance, speeding toward the town limits. Soon enough I would catch a glimpse of silver as the Volvo turned onto my street. Just as I predicted, I saw Edythe’s car coming down the street at around eight. I placed my empty mug in the sink and grabbed my bag from the dining table where I had left. I then stepped outside, locked the door behind me, to wait for my ride. As Edythe’s pulled into my driveway, I greeted her with a little wave. Thoughts of keeping her at arm’s length seemed to have disappeared from my mind. All I could see was her bright smile lighting up her golden-rod eyes.

“Good morning, Bella.”

“Hey, Edythe,” I replied as I opened the passenger door and got in. “How was your evening? Did you sleep well?” Of course, I knew that she didn’t sleep at all but what can I say other than I think I’m funny?

“My night was pleasant. How did you sleep?”

I noticed that she avoided the question regarding sleep, but I wasn’t going to say anything. “I slept well enough.”

Edythe had started the drive to the high school which was only a few minutes from my house. The time was filled with simple conversation. She asked me if I had gotten in contact with the auto shop. I filled her in on the conversation that had transpired.

“Unfortunately, my truck won’t be available until Saturday. Does your offer to drive me to the shop still stand?”

“Of course. As does my offer to drive you to school for as long as you need me.” Edythe’s eyes widened as she registered what she said. “I mean it. As long as you need it. My help that is.”

I was amused by her ramblings, but I didn’t let it show on my face. Or at least I hope I didn’t. No point in embarrassing the poor girl further. “I understood what you were trying to say. And I appreciate it. You’re sure you don’t mind being my chauffeur for the rest of the week?”

Why wasn’t I turning her down? It was too dangerous for her to get close to me. It’s not like I couldn’t walk. And if it rained, so what? That’s what an umbrella was for.  

“I don’t mind at all. Really Bella I’m happy to help you.”

“And your siblings don’t mind? How are they getting to school?”

“They don’t mind. They’ll be taking Rosalie’s car. Trust me, she’s happier driving her own car than sitting in the back seat of mine.”

Edythe turned into the school parking lot which was already filled with the student population. As I stepped out of the car, I felt the eyes of my peers. It must have been quite a sight to see the mysterious new girl with one of the elusive Cullens.

“I’m going to be the talk of the town again.” It wasn’t a question. I already knew my day would be spent fending off questions about yesterday’s accident. Edythe, who had also gotten out of the car, looked around the sea of students.

“I would say so. Would you like me to walk you to your first class? I could fend off any intrusive peers.”

I came so close to turning down her offer, but I just couldn’t do it. As much as I knew it was bad for her to get close to me, I found myself craving her company. So, like a fool I said yes. Edythe and I walked side by side. I took the chance to admire her from my peripheral vision. Edythe was slender and petite, just an inch shy of my five feet and four inches. Her bronze-colored hair was pulled up into a messy twist. Curls fell from the updo to frame her face. She wore a pale lavender sweater that hugged her curves and the color brought out the delicate lavender of her eyelids. If I didn’t know better, I would think that Edythe was wearing eyeshadow. The sleeves were rolled up and the material was too thin to provide any protection from the cold, but I knew the weather didn’t bother her. We stopped in front of Building 3 where my English class is held.

“Would you join me for lunch?” Edythe asked me before we parted ways.

‘Just say no. You can’t get any closer to her than you already have. Say no.’

“Yes. I would like that.” ‘Dammit.’

Edythe smiled at me as if my answer just made her day. “Well then I’ll see at lunch time.”

I simply nodded my reply too afraid I’d say something stupid. The smile remained on Edythe’s face as she bid me a good day. I entered the classroom and took my seat. As the other students filed in Mike stopped by my desk.

“So, what’s the deal with you and Cullen?”

“Edythe? How do you mean?” I had a pretty good idea what he meant, but I wanted to hear him say it.

“You know. You two looked pretty cozy. People will start to talk.”

“Firstly, anything between Edythe and I is nobody else’s business. And if people want to gossip about two teenage girls because their own lives are so boring and unfulfilling then that’s their business. Secondly, the only thing between me and Edythe is kindness and a ride to and from school because your buddy’s reckless driving put my truck in the shop.”

Mike’s blond hair and hyperactive personality made me think of a golden retriever, but that wide eyed and gaping expression on his face brought to mind the image of a goldfish. Mr. Mason, the English teacher, entered the classroom before Mike could respond.

“Mr. Newton please take your seat.” Mike walked away from my desk, still appearing to be in shock. As the remaining students took their seats the school bell rang. I kept myself from cringing at the shrill noise. Truth be told, I had never been to school before now (Dad home-schooled me) and had no idea that a school bell was so loud. It made my ears ring and my head throb. I hated that stupid bell.

The rest of the morning couldn’t go by fast enough. If the student body wasn’t talking about the car crash, they were talking about the rumors that were being spread about Edythe and I. Were humans really so backwards in their beliefs surrounding sexuality? I knew they had negative opinions, but I was so used to the acceptance of vampire law that I didn’t consider how humans viewed the subject. I had never had too before now. The bell that singled the end of fourth period rang and the students rushed out, eager to get to the cafeteria building. I was among the last of my classmates to leave and I was stopped by Jessica.

“Hey Bella. How are you doing today? I hope that all this talk hasn’t gotten you down.”

“Not really. It’s annoying, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“Good. I wouldn’t want you to think everyone thinks that way.”

“So, you don’t…” My voice trailed off.

Jessica shook her head, her dark voluminous curls bouncing as she did. “Nope.”

By this point we’d reached the cafeteria and pushed through the doors.

“Are you going to sit with us today?” Jessica asked referring to herself and her classmates whom I had sat with yesterday. “I promise to keep Mike and Lauren off your back.”

“I appreciate that, but I’m actually supposed to sit with Edythe.”

“With just Edythe? Or with all the Cullen-Hales?”

I stopped in my tracks. “I’m not sure.”

Something about sitting with five vampires I didn’t know made me feel incredibly on edge. I began looking around the cafeteria and noticed Jessica doing the same. I spotted the Cullens at their usual table, but Edythe wasn’t with them.

“Bella look.” Jessica directed my attention to the other end of the cafeteria where Edythe sat at a table by herself. She gave me a little wave when she saw me staring. I blushed and waved back.

“Come on Bella, lets go get you some food so you can get your flirt on.” Jessica and I grabbed our food and went our separate ways, but not before she wished me luck. I approached Edythe’s table.

“Is this seat taken?” ‘Smooth Bella.’

“Please, help yourself.”

I sat down in the chair next to Edythe, setting my tray on the table. Edythe grimaced at the food.

“That does not look appetizing at all.”

I looked down at the greasy slice of pizza, salad, and bottled lemonade. “It’s not so bad.” ‘It’s actually worse.’

“Are you sure about that?” Edythe had the cutest lopsided smirk. She couldn’t read my thoughts, but she could clearly read my face. I picked up the greasy pizza. I took a bite and chewed slowly. Gah! What was with school food tasting like cardboard with tomato sauce?

“See, like I said, not so bad. But perhaps I’ll stick to just the salad.”

Edythe chuckled. That’s when I noticed she didn’t have a tray of food. ‘Wonder what her excuse will be?’

“Where’s your lunch, Edythe? Aren’t you going to eat?”

“I had a big breakfast this morning. I’m not very hungry.”

I nodded my head and bit my bottom lip to keep from smirking. I picked up the plastic fork from my tray and dug into my salad. After a few bites and a sip of lemonade Edythe got around to asking the questions I knew she would eventually ask.

“May I be forward, Bella?” I nodded for her to continue. “How did you get out of the way of the van? That was an impossible feat.”

“Just must have been lucky I guess.”

“That was some incredible luck.”

I shrugged. “I had an adrenaline rush. It’s very common in a life-threatening situation.” I ate some more salad and drank some more lemonade. “Was that your only question?”

“I have a few. Were you perhaps bitten by a radioactive spider?” The corners of her lips curled up indicating that she was joking. At least mostly.

“Certainly not.” ‘As if a spider’s pincers could break through my diamond-hard skin.’

“Then perhaps kryptonite is involved?”

“You do know that kryptonite weakens Superman’s powers? It’s not the cause of them.”

“Well, there goes my best theories.”

We laughed together. Ever since I met Edythe, I found myself feeling lighter than I have in a long while. There was a time when I’d didn’t think I’d ever laugh again. Not since Dad…since Dad…

“Bella. Bella!”

I blinked away the tears that had blurred my vision. Tears fell down my cheeks, the intense cold of the venom slightly stinging my skin. Of all the human traits I could’ve inherited, why did crying have to be one of them?

“I’m sorry. I just thought of my dad and I…” I choked on silent sobs and couldn’t get the words out. Most of the town, if not everyone, knew that my dad had died even if they didn’t know the truth of how. They just knew the story I had spread around town.

“Hey, hey it’s okay.” The pad of Edythe’s thumb brushed against my cheek wiping away the tears. A pulse of electricity tingled against my skin. My face warmed with the rush of blood to my cheeks.

“I’m sorry…”

“You do not need to apologize.” Edythe interrupted me. “You have every right to be upset over such a loss. Can I get you anything?”

“No, I’m alright. Thank you though.” I wiped away the rest of my tears with the sleeve of my sweater. “What is it we were talking about?”

“You were shooting down my carefully constructed theories.” Edythe lightly teased me.

“Oh, yes. Radioactive spiders and kryptonite. Groundbreaking theories.”

I took a swig of lemonade then used the sleeve of my sweater to wipe away the rest of my tears. The lunch hour continued on without any more waterworks from yours truly. Edythe and I walked to Biology together and after my last class of the day, Edythe was waiting for me outside of the gymnasium. After dropping me off at home she wished me a pleasant evening and sent me away with a promise to see me in the morning.

Only two more days. I could allow myself the pleasure of her company for two more days. What would it hurt?

[6stronghands]

please read. it’s long. but i need to say this:

Broken in the past year:

Dishwasher, refrigerator, microwave, furnace, water heater, toilet, gas fireplace, TV, 2 laptops, 2 cellphones, my eyeglasses, the locking system, door handle, driver window (stuck DOWN not up, of course) and catalytic converter on my 15 year old minivan and the other car, a 22 year old beloved 4 Runner had to be junked because it was so decrepit and unfixable (it’s a credit to those amazing early generation Runners though, because it made 260,000 miles and basically ran on Marvel Mystery Oil, Seafoam, and pep talks at the end), then I found out that my home has serious foundation issues, and now, NOW, the dryer. 

My new (used) Mustang got hit ONE WEEK after I bought it, by a drunk guy in a big ol F150, as I was my way home to kansas after caring for three (3!!!) family members in the hospital in Utah for four months. The whole time I was in Utah, I was like, holy god these guys are shockingly bad drivers (and I’ve driven extensively around a ton of states). There’s this move I call The Utah Special, a lane changing move where they don’t signal, they don’t check their blind spots, they don’t move vertically….they just horizontally zoom into a space they want in the next lane. I saw so many near misses and actual accidents during my time there. And lo and behold, LITERALLY AS I’M ON MY WAY OUT OF THAT HELL STATE, at the motherfreakin base of the canyon, four hours from Colorado and freedom from the religious insanity and repression that manifests as the angriest, most aggressive, flat out incompetent drivers I’ve ever seen, a jackalope did the Utah Special on me and my new car.  

It screwed up the alignment and tire pressure monitor and left a big dent on the drivers door. Luckily i didn’t run into the giant concrete wall that he spun me into, because I’m an experienced driver, esp in correcting a bad, fast turn, but it was close. The guy is now trying to avoid payment so I’ve been driving around with a beatup looking car. 

One month after i got back to Lawrence, a guy backed into me at the store, and I ended up using the 100 bucks he gave me for groceries, and trying to buff out the back myself, which didn’t work. This is my childhood dream car btw, the only nice thing I’ve ever owned (and it looks a lot nicer than it is, it’s very bare bones inside and out, it just looks slick. It took almost two years and three states of looking to find a good Mustang for such a low price). 

And now. 

Now I’ve got a gutted dryer, parts spread out to hell and gone, because Samsung dryers have the worst design and the cheapest parts (seriously, don’t ever buy Samsung appliances. Three different parts stores and repair people told me they refuse to work on Samsungs or carry parts for them any more because the design is so bad and the parts are so cheap). I thought I fixed it by replacing the circuit board, but now I think it’s the thermal fuse switch which is located UNDER and BEHIND the drum, not in the more accessible places other brands put it. But that’s not irritating enough, no no, now it turns out I have to learn how to solder because they didn’t use screws or plugs for the fuse mount, no no, they soldered it on, so I had to drill the fucker out and and buy a solder iron and now I’m watching how-to-solder videos on youtube. 

And (of course there’s an AND) the charging port on my 3rd used cell phone broke, and I don’t have time to order a replacement port and do it myself, so I took it into one of those overpriced walk in places (for $130 dollars!!! for fifteen minutes work). Picked it up five minutes before they closed last night, and now the screen is unresponsive. According to the good people of the internet, since I can’t get it to reboot, it’s probably a badly seated digitizer that got bumped when they did the replacement. I have to take a break from my how-to-solder videos and go in and convince a bunch of 20 year old guys to fix my phone and not charge me for it. 

So. This is a lot. 

And because we are in the aptly named bad timeline, my personal life has pretty much echoed all the broken down stuff. I have had some weird, hard to diagnose, health crap that cost me one job and has prevented me from finding another. So I just do a bunch of volunteer stuff now, and keep applying to worse and worse jobs, hoping someone, somewhere will take me. My new dog (who I adopted because I’ve been so overwhelmed and stressed, I was freaking out one day and my sister was like, I KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO, YOU NEED A DOG, and she was one hundred percent right, everything is better with a good dog) got attacked at the park, by a Husky owned by a RedditGuy, who then RAN when I was trying to revive my dog, and drove away in a Mercedes with a license obscurer. The only reason I know who he is, is because a quick thinking teenager ran after him and tried to get his name (which the guy wouldn’t give) and the teen took pics of him with his cellphone (don’t shit on Millenials around me, just don’t. All I see are good kids doing good stuff under bad circumstances). (Also, just fwiw, there are all kinds of Huskies being surrendered at shelters and involved in attacks because, and this is so dumb it just kills me, people are watching Game of Thrones and deciding they want their very own Direwolf, without having the experience or willingness to take on a breed that needs a lot of training and reinforcement and care. Huskies are great dogs if they have great owners, like a lot of other great but high-care breeds). 

The medical bills were over $4000, which I had to take a loan out for. There was a court hearing, and the judge ruled in my favor, and ordered the guy to pay, by March 1st. You won’t be surprised at all, because FML, that the guy hasn’t paid, and is contesting it, which means more court stuff. This has all been stressful as hell, but this dog is genuinely the most amazing dog I’ve ever had; he is worth any trouble and expense. I would sell my Mustang, if I had to, to keep this tiny, adorable fuzzball (some kind of poodle-terrier mix, I think, I dunno. He was a rescue dog who was fostered with an inmate in a local prison, Safe Harbor Prison Dogs, check it out, they’re great) I’ve never had a companion dog before. I’ve had family dogs who have all been great, but I’ve never had one where they are bred to be a companion, that’s their work, like a work-dog needs work to be happy and sane. He is carrying my kid and me in his soft little paws; he does good work, this guy. He is always happy, very energetic when you want, calm and cuddly when you want, incredibly sensitive and attuned, unnervingly intelligent and a joy to train, and as soft as a bunny. I have to brush him every single day because of his crazy Fizzgig hair, but that’s fine. He rides on my shoulder in the car and fits inside a tote bag so I can sneak him lots of places. I’ve socialized him from the beginning (which is why I was at that damn park) so he’s totally silent in public places like stores. He loves people, especially kids, and if I ever get off the job-hunting, broken-thing-fixing treadmill, I’d like to volunteer him as a therapy dog in hospitals or wherever. He’s like my very own Daemon, my own Pantalaimon. A gift and a blessing at any time, but especially now, when things are Challenging. 

Then. Then the worst thing. Something really bad happened to my one of my kids. Something so bad that I can’t talk about it in a public place like this. I can barely talk about it in my Al-Anon support group. I spend a lot of energy not thinking about it. I have learned a lot of things in the past few years, like A LOT. I know so much more now, about so many, many things. But this bad thing is something I wish I never knew, and it’s not fixable, only recoverable. 

I have never, ever been so continually sad and angry. It’s been bad timing for my mental health, the Me Too movement. I had a friend visit and he was talking about it, and was telling me that it’s turned into a witch hunt, that things aren’t really this bad for women, that maybe women and men just speak different languages and have different needs and wants, that if things have been this bad, why didn’t women say something sooner, and I just….I couldn’t talk. He wanted me to give him specific examples of male violations in my life, and I literally didn’t know where to start. I can list so many, like every woman alive. I could list hundreds of small things, things where you just accept it because what else can you do, and other things, things that were not small, but you ignore, because you actually know the guy and you know he’s genuinely a mostly good guy, or trying to be, or will be some day, or has a family who loves and depends on him, or maybe I didn’t have the vocabulary or confidence or experience to safely call him out then, or maybe I didn’t know if calling him out would ruin his life, and for real, I could see that he would some day evolve into A Good Man, An Ally, and I didn’t want to jeopardize that. Because that’s real, that dynamic. It doesn’t fit into any black and white social media woke doctrine, but it’s real. I have hurt people through ignorance, and I have learned and evolved, and there have been a few specific times where I can look back in gratitude that someone educated me in a gracious, patient way, because it changed me for the better. Do men know this? That people like me aren’t calling them on stuff? That the problem is much, much worse than the revelations of the Me Too movement? That we let pretty much all the small and medium stuff go? Do they know? Are they so uneducated, so culturally indoctrinated, so blind, to other men’s bad behavior, to their own, that they really think that this is all an over-reaction or mixed signals or just women looking to be angry about something??? 

 I know it’s a lot more complicated than that, because goddamn life usually is. There have been hundreds of not-terrible and semi-bad violations in my 40 years, that I’ve just lived with, and then there’s been a handful of genuinely, life-altering-ly bad ones. The ones that teach you to to beware, that there are predators who prey, and you are just meat. But I couldn’t articulate any of this to this friend, this guy who feels so defensive and attacked by the movement. No one has accused him of anything, he’s just feeling defensive. He thinks people are unfair to men, that men are trying their best, that women need to explain more nicely. 

I have been so angry, about so much, for months now. I usually blow up fast and I’m done. I’m usually the poster girl for Onward And Upward, Life Is Beautiful, Everything’s Awesome. This constant anger is exhausting. And I wish I was only angry, but I’m also broken-hearted. Broken. Everything’s broken, everything keeps breaking. Bad people, careless people, indifferent people, they keep ruining things and getting away with things. The news isn’t good, not politically, not economically, not environmentally, not anything. All signs point to things getting much, much worse. 

I will say this, I am smarter than I was a year ago. 

I seem to only learn by doing, to learn the hard way. I know a lot more now. Like A LOT, in a pretty short span of time. I am not the same person I was a year ago. I am not as sweet, and not as optimistic, but I am seasoned. I’m better at problem solving. I know there's always going to be another damn thing, whatever it is. I know the importance of good tools and resources and support, whether it’s fixing broken cars or broken hearts. That came out trite, but it’s true. I’ve learned that sometimes the only good thing to come out of a bad thing is knowledge, if you use it to recover or evolve, or to help someone else. Sometimes the only silver lining is that you’ve got newfound empathy. We need more empathy in the world, so that’s not nothing. I am so, so worried about the future, about what my kids are going to have to learn in order to navigate their own personal and cultural despair. They’re gonna have to get tougher, faster, while protecting their gentle hearts and giving natures. That’s tricky. I hope they’ll remember that we’re in this together, that the only way to survive is by leaning on and helping each other. Another thing that sounds trite, but is the truest thing I know. I’ve learned to talk about things, to ask questions, to ask again if I don’t understand (and again, and again), and to say to people, I need you, I’m stuck, I’m headfucked, I’m heartfucked, help. Help me. Using your resources, whether they’re youtube how-to videos, therapy, doctors, friends, Al-Anon groups, dogs, whatever, is the only way I know how to get over and through. 

It’s kind of strange to FEEL how much stronger I am right now, than a year ago. Because things are much worse; something that would have broken me for good, if Then-Me had known. But Now-Me has soldiered through some shit by leaning hard on my resources, and because of those resources, not through inner grit or stoicism, but the resources, I’m tougher, smarter, better equipped. I am not exactly happier, but I do have happy moments. That’s a big deal. I am afraid for the future, but I know that, at least as long as I’m able to fight, I CAN fight. 

I have leaned on some of you here. Some of you are my safe places, are resources, tools, friends. Genuine, real ones. I am stronger because of you. I can write and write, but never truly articulate what that has meant, what it means to me. You know how vets are with other vets? The way they’ll meet up after they leave the military, and fall into each other’s arms, the way they trust each other for the rest of their lives? I feel that way about you guys. I’ve been in the motherfucking foxhole, and some of you guys climbed in and covered my head and held my shaking hands. I just have no words. The ‘no atheists in a foxhole’ thing isn’t true. I still don’t believe in God, but I believe in friends, in good people, in the righteous fighters who get no acclaim, no awards, but quietly, bravely, change the world around them a little at a time, to great cumulative effect. I can say I love you, I’m so grateful, you’re wonderful, but really, I have no words other than, thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU. 

[nhlhoser]

On The Rocks- 7

PART 6 MASTER LIST

I thought I had dreamt everything when I woke up the next morning an empty bed but his side still warm. Rolling over my eyes open ever so slightly I spot a note on the side table with the sunglasses on top. Grabbing the glasses and sitting up to read the note.

Amelia,

 I Had to head home before practice.

Get better soon.

Text Will and I when you get back to where ever you live, 

so we know you're alive.

- Your favorite leaf (Auston)

Setting down the paper, I check the time the digital clock displaying that it's 6:30 am, Laying back I am unable to fall back asleep deciding to it's time to get up I heave my sore body up and out of bed into the bathroom to start the day.

Leaving the hotel into the cold streets I hail a cab and head back to reality also know as my apartment that I share with two roommates. I don't even like my roommates they steal my stuff all the time and general annoyances they are opposite of me. The only reason I stay is that of the fact it's my apartment I own it. Feeling a bit grumpy now thinking about the peace I and minus a couple things this weekend I hope they did something so I can kick them out. Wow, I am mean today. Looking back at the hotel I am finding it hard to believe my weekend.

Getting back home I regret wishing for a reason to kick them out because my house is trashed. They had a huge party well I was gone and I am pissed. I am so glad I went out of the way to have legal documents of our rents agreement. Slamming the door shut behind me I'm taking photos of the mess that once was my home. After documenting the damage I'm glad I locked my room before I left on Friday. Heading to Claire's room I open the door startling the drunken mess awake. Her eyes wide at my visible fury.

"72 hours to pack your shit and leave my house or I press charges," I said firmly not giving her time to say anything and I am on to Anna's room across the hall. Banging her door open she's just like Claire started and giving her the same warning.

"Up now! You are cleaning the mess yourself" I said as the two redheads gingerly getting out of their rooms. Scared of what I'll do next.

"Lia is reasonable here" Anna tried to act coy playing down the level damage their party. My temper was gone I snap my head girl and stare at her. My eyes must hold my rage because she backs up but I am past being reasonable.

"This is me being reasonable. I could have said 24 hours but My house thanks to you guys is ruined. You can either clean it now and have your 72 hours or leave now and pay for the cleaning and damages. Just so you know you pay for the damages regardless of your decision." My voice cold and mean. They protest claiming it's illegal for what I am doing. I am about to lose my mind!

"If I recall we have a signed legal document saying I can" Knowing them off their high horse.

All this anger makes my head throb in agony instantly springing tears. Not want to deal with them. "Read your rental agreement and get back to me. I have documented every single piece of damage in this apartment. Now get cleaning" I leave no room for disagreement heading up the stair to my room.

My room untouched and the exact way left it. Dropping my bag, I carefully flop on my bed getting my phone out for only to see that it is dead. Groaning I retrieve my charger from my bag, the bending down hurting my head. After plugging in my phone I lay back and start meditating in hopes of calming down it half works for a minute. As long as i don't go down stairs I should be fine. Rolling over in my bed to check the time.

8:30 am.

It's still early I spent about half hour dealing with my roommates. My weekend was unreal thinking about it makes me giggle and happy again despite my headache and my roommates. Remembering the drinks at Gracie where steps fell asleep on the toilet, spent a day getting to know her too and my little accident that got two NHLers in my bed. Thinking about bed reminds me of the note.

Lurching up right I grab my phone and it's finally on and is swamped with messes from my dad, Steph, and other people. Getting my priorities I text my dad letting know I'm back home and then I text Auston and William.

Home :) - Amelia 

Pressing send and continuing to check my messages I had a couple from Steph asking about my head and not being able to say bye because Mitch had practice and that we'll be going out soon. After shooting her text say I left the hotel at 7 am and back home head sore but good.  

    Later in the day after making so calls to my uncle to consult about the legalities of my rents and getting everything in order and ready in case they so try anything. I book an official cleaning and repair company to come in after Anna and Claire leave.  I have to get my couch replaced because it's trashed. Stressed now about possibly finding new renters because having roommates was a source of money for me. 

"Maybe I could use this to find a better paying job" I mumble to myself. Deciding I will go online and search for Massage therapist careers.   Currently, I'm the athletic trainer on my brother's lacrosse team which only pays 50 a game but I also work at physio office down the street. I will have to adjust my resume.  I could enter in a more athletic field because for women I am pretty strong.

    After using a lot of links, emails and number I have collected from school and co-workers I find a couple that looks good by one catches my eye.

Massage Therapist Wanted

Toronto-based contract 

Travel Required 

Email: Toad.Bean@email.ca  Resume, Certifications and references

Criminal recorded will be asked.

There wasn't a lot of information but I felt the need to at least apply. Carefully crafting a well-mannered email and attaching the required documents after double checking everything before sending it and giving a little fist pump proud of myself and now I can call it a night.

71 hours Anna and Claire are gone and my place is sub par clean. The cleaning and repair on their way within the hour meaning I need to vacate my house for the day. I haven't a little extra done to the now empty bedrooms fresh coat of paint and furnace being deep cleaned.

Getting dressed I try to think of things to do today because I can be here until 8 pm. I'll start with Starbucks and see where my feet take me from there. 

"Warm dress warm," I said looking for a sweater to wear find a brown turtleneck and black jeans. 

Sipping my coffee and texting my dad My phone starts to ring.

"Hey Steph," 

"Hey, girl! Wanna do me a huge favor?" Her tone pleading.

"Depends...."I trail off not sure where she's going with this.

"My lease is almost up on my place and i need to look at Apartments. Can you please come with?" She's begging. I don't have to think hard because I have nothing to do.

"Sure"

"Please, I'll buy drinks- Wait that was easy what the.." She rambles.

"Well, I'm coming to get you now before you change your mind where are you?" 

After giving her my location turns out she pretty close so she's here in a truck in minutes of hanging up. Hoping into the truck it's clear that it is not hers by the scent of man and a little bit of a mess. 

"I stole Mitches truck" She confirmed my mental notes.  

"Okay," I clap rub my hands together and turn to face her. "What are you looking for?" I asked to want to really help her.

"Well I don't need much BUT that doesn't mean I want some hideous Bachelor. I need space and a spare room because Mitch is always bringing people with him when we come over unless you know"  She blushes at the end.

"Ok, I get it" I nodded. Pulling up to the first building its so-Modern. I scrunch my nose. We park and head in to meet the building attendant. It's uppity as fuck. 

Getting into the apartment my eyes widen. It's yellow. I turn to look at Steph she's eyeing the color as well. The extravagantly dressed man showing the apartment starts his sale pitch.

"So" He claps his hands and leads up further into the sun aka the apartment. 

"We have the living space, open concept very open to the kitchen" He points around to the very obvious open floor plan. He continues rambling on and leading Steph around and I'm brought back by "And we that you don't paint any walls" My eyes widen shaking y head.

"Oh Steph, We have to go to that appointment that we're now late to that no here" I grab her wrist and we practically - we do run out of the apartment and back to the truck. Breathing heavy we burst out laughing. 

"It was yellow. please tell me you weren't considering that" I watch her with judgmental eyes. 

"Hell no, I didn't know how to get out" She shook her head at the idea.

It's around 5 pm and we've looked at about 8 places around the city that all sucked. Groaning as enter the truck again both tired of being lead around staged apartments. My stomach grumbles and my feet ache.

"I am hungry" 

"Gurl -" Her answer is interrupted by a call coming through the truck speakers.

"It's Mitch, shhh he doesn't know I have his truck" She answered the call after the second ring.

"Hey babe," She answers gleefully.

"Hey, how's your day been looking at places? Who'd you force to go with you?"Mitch's voice cheerful echoes thru the truck.

"I got Amelia too and it was consensual. She's really good at getting out of the shitty apartments it's like her hidden talent. She even stuffed her sweater so she looked pregnant and faked going into labor to get out of the place!" She laughed at the memory. She continues her conversation as we drive thru Toronto trying to find some place to eat. 

"Well, I have to head to the rink now. I love you I'll see you later tonight when we get back" Mitch's voice has a sadder note. 

"I love you too, Goodluck !" Steph cooed before more goodbyes and they hang up as we arrive at a Denny's in Etobicoke.

"So you're telling me you don't have INSTAGRAM?!!" Steph whisper-yells at the discovery of my lack of social little did she know it's because I am not social at all. We were talking about nothing really but when the subject came up I sheepishly confessed my not having Instagrams or snap chat.

"I'm not social" I tried to shrug off her intense stare. She grabs my phone after making me unlock it. "That is change right now women" her finger flying over the screen of my phone.

"okay, now a name" She sips her ice tea and suddenly grins. Her fingers furiously typing.

"I'm going through your photos hope you don't have nudes" She teased I rolled my eyes and a couple Minutes later she's smiling proudly  handing me my phone

                       @ Mrs.Nobody: :)

"Mrs? I am not married??" I tilt my head in confusion. Steph rolls her eyes 

"Well, you're pretty married to the idea that you're nobody" Her words both serious and playful making my cheek flush. Steph's eyes are serious but kind as she holds eye contact.

It was in this moment I decided to stop shying away from friendship and embrace her friendship which springs an idea that makes me annoyed that I didn't think of this sooner.

"I wish I thought of this sooner. I have a couple rooms that I rent out. I guess what happened with my last roommates made me block it out" I face palm. Steph's eyes spark.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now!! We didn't have to go to all the apartments" She fakes anger.

"What happened with your last roommates?" She opened the large can of crazy of my ex-roommates. Her eyes wide her jaw slacked. I go on about why I was so willing to come out today and what's happening in my apartment as we speak.

"That's crazy" She shakes her head.

I nod my phone rings I don't know the number but i answer because it is a local number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Can I speak to Amelia Ashton?" A male voice asked.

"Speaking," I said slow Steph looking at me weird.

"Hi, I am Toad Bean. I was just going over your email and like to meet with you and discuss the job further with you and test your skill a little bit. How does that sound?" His voice is kind.

"That sounds great" My face breaking out into a huge grin.

"Great are you free Friday afternoon? 3ish?" 

"I am"

After more discussion, we set a meeting at the Mastercard center. After I hang up I am practically dancing in my seat. 

"I got an interview on Friday!! I might even get the job" I cheered.

"Let's celebrate!" Steph cheered with me. "Let go get some wine and show me your apartment" Steph smiles and we pay and leave to Lcbo.

"I'm sold. I'm moving in right now" Steph said entering my apartment. She does a Cinderella dance around my rustic loft apartment that is freshly cleaned. 

"That T.V. Though!" She plops on the couch across my large T.V. I stand at the Kitchen island opening the wine and pouring it. 

Handling Steph her glass she's tucked into my new couch with the leaf game on. "I watch every single game, " Steph said not looking away from the screen. "I go to as many home games as possible, Reminds me are you going to Saturday's game?" She turns to me.

"I have never been to a game" I state. 

"THE FUCK I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU'RE A FAN?" Steph has a crazed look in her eye.

" I am I swear! have never been able to 1. afford it 2. they're always sold out 3. I was busy" I defended myself.

"Understandable but that's changing right now" She starts rapidly texting on her phone.

"There now we wait" 

"For what?"

"For Mitch to read my texts after the game."

"why?"

"Are you slow? So we can get you to Saturday's game!" She cheers.

NEXT

[batesmotel]

Ferb A: Bates Motel Final Fan Fic

Norman slammed the trunk of the car before looking around the Bates Motel parking lot. It was empty. Nothing but leaves scooting along the empty gravel space. His eyes shifted towards the office where he spent so many hours of the past five years of his life. Going through the mail, typing up the motel newsletter, making coffee every morning and all his manager duties. The many times he stood behind that counter and greeted his guests with a smile as they signed the guest book. How it felt to hand over that room key. He was somebody. This motel made him someone. From student to employee, to manager and to owner. This motel has seen it's days long before the Bates moved in but, it saw it's best days these past few years. They made this place into a home. Mother made this place a home and together they built this little paradise. The motel helped them just as much as they helped it. Norman reached up to place his hand on his chest where his Manager pin use to sit. He would always trace the letters with his finger and feel so proud of himself. He remembered his first day. Norman Bates was so excited he wanted to make such a great impression. He had a sense of real responsibility. He wasn't sure how many different blazer combos he went through. He had to look the part right? It was representing this motel and his mother. When he didn't feel the pin there he felt this sort of emptiness fill his chest. His eyes skimmed down the line of room. Each one held it's own story. Each one had a customer that Norman would never forget. Gunner and his band of stoners, the spooky man in Room 9, the lovely family who had the puppies, Annika Johnson, Alex Romero, Marion... He could go on. They were gone and they wouldn't think of this place ever again. The sun was slowly making its way down the sky threatening to disappear at any moment. Norman could hear the soft song of birds as he walked across the driveway. Entering the office he looked around a few times. The smell of coffee and freshly sharpened pencils lingered. It was nice. His hand moved along the front desk and over the guest book that hadn't been touched in many weeks. He remembered the last person to sign it and she would always have a spot in his brain. Moving his way into the back office he let out a heavy sigh. He remembered when this place was filled with boxes upon boxes of dusty old files and old photos and newspaper articles. Norman had completely gone through all of them and turned those dusty boxes into a few simple little files. That contained the history of this place along with those old photos that new sat in the filing cabinet. Turning his head he smirked a little when he saw that old picture on the wall. The peep hole behind it had been filled in and now it was just a regular old picture. He dropped his head as visions of what he's seen on the other side of that wall popped into his mind. He got that chill as he flipped off the light and made his way back to the front office. Reaching out he hit that switch and the Bates Motel light flickered on. The low hum of it's lights was all he could hear as he stepped out into that still evening air. A deep breath left his lungs as he watched the sign bring life to this place once more. Closing his eyes he could still hear the sounds of his guests. Cars pulling in and out of the drive. Dylan sitting over there in that empty chair enjoying an evening beer. The sounds of children laughing and the TV's turning on just loud enough he could slightly hear it from his post behind the desk. "It's such a nice place you have here." "We've been driving for hours so glad we found you." "You're really cleaning this place up kid." "Our stay was wonderful." "I'm going to give you a good review on Yelp!" "Thank you Norman Bates." It all made him smile till he opened his eyes and it was just him. Norman made his way up towards the long set of steps that reached all the way up to that damn old house on the hill. The windows lit up looking alive as he climbed those steps. God how many times did he run up these stairs? If these damn steps could talk. The time him and Dylan had to carry Mother's mattress all the down to the dumpster. He stopped and looked at the faint stain where Shelby bled out all over the place. That time Dylan slipped on the frost and nearly broke his neck. That time Norman gave Emma a piggyback ride all the way up because she was having a bad day with her breathing. The fights that went on, on these stairs. The hugs that happened. The stories that were told. How many times he sat there on that step and just had his Norman thinking time. "She can't do this! She can't leave me!" "Norman let her go!" Climbing that last step as he crossed the porch he reached out and opened that front door. The moment he closed it he was met with complete silence. This house has never been that quiet. There was this twist in his stomach and he had to take a moment to get a grip. Norman looked to his left into the living room. That old fireplace and that couch where he spent many evenings watching TV or reading or doing his homework. Norman stepped further into the room and his hand moved along the back of the couch. Feeling the material against his skin he gave a small smile. The room was dim except for a small light on the side table in the corner. The walls that were filled with photos were now taken down. Removed. Norman looked at that piano sitting in the corner and for a split second he thought he could hear it play. His heart skipped a beat as he remembered that time Mother forced him to sing Mr. Sandman with her. Their many duets and he couldn't count how many times he sat there with her as she played. Trying to teach him here and there but he could only manage to get Twinkle Twinkle Little Star just right. She was the piano player in this family. Reaching out he debated hitting a key and decided against it. The last sound that piano would make was the last song Mother ever played. Instead he moved his hand to the left and turned the light off. Norman walked down the short hall into the kitchen. Dishes use to stack high in the sink and on the table. Piles of old newspaper stacked on one of the chairs. The counter wasn't cleaned. The stove was a mess with pots and pans littered all over it. The fridge was empty and the floor hadn't been swept. Norman let this place go and he was ashamed of that. That's why he took it upon himself this morning to clean every inch of this kitchen. Just how she wanted it. Just how she left it. He could hear the sizzle of the frying pan and the smell of pot roast in the oven. The table was set and decorated with fresh flowers. He could hear that hum as Mother moved along the room. This was her work space. This was her happy place. It made Norman smile before he turned to head down into the basement. The basement flooded with light with that flip of the switch. Norman's steps echoed as he climbed down those old wood steps. Looking around the place was pretty dusty but Norman didn't touch too much down here. Just his work space and new repaired furnace on those chilled evenings and the freezer. Looking over his work station everything was cleaned up. A faint dust rested upon the table's surface where his taxidermy equipment use to sit. Boxes of old junk filled the shelves and after all these years Norman never touched any of it. Opening the freezer it was now warm as it had been shutoff. None of the freezers worked anymore and there was still that old yellow caution taped strung here and there. That sickening crime scene tape that only made his stomach burn. There was still some of his creations hiding down here. They would be left behind. Just as Norman was about to leave he stopped seeing a dusty book just under the step. Curious he reached down and pulled it from it's hiding spot. Blowing the dust off the cover it was that old taxidermy book Mother had gotten him years ago. He wondered where it had gone. He felt his heart swell as he exited the basement and turned the lights off one last time before shutting the door. He walked past the laundry room that was all cleaned out. Passing the kitchen he set the book down on the table before going upstairs. He was met with the memories of all those fights they had. The stomping of steps met his ears and the shouting echoed around the house. "Norman please!" "I don't trust you anymore and that changes everything!" "Stop it Norman." "The game was we were devoted to each other. That no one could ever come between us. We loved each other more than anyone could love another person." Norman could hear it all. The crying and the slam of the door. These doors slammed a lot in this house. The stomping of steps and the anger that would fill the upstairs. Norman was met with his bedroom door wide open. Standing in the doorway he skimmed as everything looked to be in place. Bed was made. The desk was cleaned off. The bookcase was empty. He could still hear the pitter-patter of Juno's paws as she ran through the house. How many times was Norman confined to that bed? After one of his blackouts or being sick or after being stuck in a box for a few days. The room still faintly smelled like books and laundry cleaner. Norman looked at the door connecting the two bedrooms. This door still didn't shut or lock right ever since he broke it that one day. Despite the upstairs having so many horrible moments it had it's good. Norman turned off the light and shut the door. Walking by the bathroom that smelled of bleach he went to Dylan's old room. It was kinda how Dylan left it except Norman did go in and straighten things up. Few things on the walls. Mainly pictures of cars and hunting photos and girls. Random football and gun magazines on the floor. He left behind a couple shirts and a hat or two. Norman gathered up the left behind trash and tossed it into the bin near the door. It had that Dylan musk mixed with dust lingering in the air. Dylan... "I'm a man now not her little boy and I wanna be a good man. I trust your judgment if you think this is the right thing to do. You're my brother, you know? I wanna be there for you. We're a family and we love each other we'll work through it." "Get her back, Dylan! Get her back!" "Calm down! You have to!! She's coming back!" "She's not gonna come back! She hates me! She hates me Dylan and it's all your fault!" "Please, Norman.. Everything I've built with Mom, it'll, it'll all be destroyed." "You wouldn't actually hurt anybody though, would you Norman?" Norman stood in the doorway of Mother's room. The last room in the house he wanted to be. The light near the window was on and there was this welcoming glow to it. Hands in his pockets he stepped further into the room. This warm air wrapped around him and he could smell her perfume. Norman closed his eyes and got lost for a moment. He could feel her. Her arms wrapped around him so tightly. Pulling him in for a hug as she kissed his cheek. He could feel her warm embrace as she ran her hand through his hair. That smile on her face. A smile that was burned into his mind. That bright beautiful smile of a woman who was finally happy and finally at peace with the craziness around her. A woman who overcome everything life thrown her way. She was a warrior and she was his hero. "I love you, Norman." "I love you too, Mother." "You mean more to me than anyone in the world." The voices echoed in his head she was still there. Smiling brightly at him as she took his hands and gave them a firm squeeze. There was this bubble building up in his chest. This emotion was building and it was making it's way into his throat. "Hey.." Her voice was soft and comforting. "You're a good boy, Norman." She bit her lip and thought for a second. Norman's misty eyes were focused on her as she spoke so softly. "You're everything. Everything to me Norman." She leaned in and pressed another kiss to his cheek. "There's a cord between our hearts." Those memories of that night on the lake came flooding back to him at her words. He couldn't form any of his own at the moment as tears fought to fall from his baby blue eyes. He suddenly didn't want to let go. He couldn't let go. He couldn't let go of her. That familiar pull and power she had over him all these years was slowly creeping back into him. His hands grasped hers tightly and she gave him a sad smile. "It will be okay. Got it? YOU can do THIS." Norman softly nodded his head and she pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth as she playfully added. "Now get the hell outta here." Norman's eyes flew open and frantically looked for her. The bed, the closet, near the window, behind him. She wasn't there. His hands shook as he brought them up to his face. Taking a moment to collect himself. That warm embrace he had felt was gone. The smell of her perfume was no longer in the air. It just a still room that held so many memories that were now put to rest. Forcing himself he crossed the room and turned the light off. He took a second to brush his hand over freshly washed bedspread. The silence in the room was making his ears hurt. Looking over towards the closet where all her dress use to be.. You can do this Norman. With that Norman walked out of the room and shut the door behind him. Making his way quickly down the stairs he dropped by the kitchen again. Reaching out and collecting the book he had set there. One last look around he gave a firm nod. As he headed for the front door he stopped suddenly. There it was. He could hear that old record player turn on as Bobby Darin faintly filled the house. There it was again. That pull. That desire to stay with her. His hand grasped the door handle and he got his grip again and walked out of that old house on the hill. Locking it up behind him he could still hear that old tune as he climbed down the stairs. The sun was nearly down casting the sky in this pinkish orange. He looked out at that parking lot, the Bates Motel sign lit high above. The For Sale sign stuck just below the No Vacancy sign. He would never see this again. His heart pounded so hard in his chest as he made his way towards the car. Tossing the book in through the window. "We came here to start over, I am starting over." "We've been through a lot and this is our chance to start over." Norman Bates looked up at that old house that had been his home as well as his prison for the past years. Piling in this damn car with whatever it could hold and moving to White Pine Bay was an adventure. A town full of weirdos who at first didn't welcome the Mother and Son but then found them worthy to be apart of their community. Moving here and running this motel was a fight for survival, a fight for acceptance and a fight to succeed. Behind all this fighting was just a family trying to find their place in the world. Trying to start over and along the way only grew strong and bigger. Many had doubted them and they hit a lot of roadblocks. This wasn't your average family. Just a confused, loving boy and his Mother trying to make a life for themselves. Sure this rundown motel and that old house might have seen it's share of tears and blood and bodies but also laughter and undying love. This old house. This old motel. Was just a spot on the road but it was a dream. It was her dream. "We own a motel, Norman Bates!" A few tears fell from Norman's eyes but he quickly brushed them away. Suddenly he couldn't hear that old record player anymore. No longer could he feel the soul that had been dancing her heart away in that old house. For the first time in his life he was alone. Truly alone. Mother was gone. Giving the Bates Motel sign one last smile Norman climbed into his car and pulled out of that drive way, never looking back. The End..

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Pacific Appliance Repair Services, INC 1757 N Serrano Ave #111, Los Angeles CA 90027 (213) 234–7543

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Pacific Appliance Repair Services, INC 1757 N Serrano Ave #111, Los Angeles CA 90027 (213) 234–7543

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Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/PacificApplianceRepairCA/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pacificappliancerepairservices/ Instagram: http://instagram.com/pacificappliance_repairs

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Pacific Appliance Repair Services, INC 1757 N Serrano Ave #111, Los Angeles, CA 90027 (213) 234–7543

My Official Website: https://pacificappliancerepairs.com/ Google Plus Listing: https://www.google.com/maps?cid=5396650087541014116

Our Other Links:

commercial refrigeration repair Los Angeles: https://pacificappliancerepairs.com/services/commercial-appliance-repair/commercial-refrigerator-repair/ whirlpool appliance repairs Los Angeles: https://pacificappliancerepairs.com/services/residential-appliance-repair/whirlpool-appliance-repair/ kitchenaid refrigerator repair Los Angeles: https://pacificappliancerepairs.com/services/residential-appliance-repair/kitchenaid-appliance-repair/ restaurant equipment repair Los Angeles: https://pacificappliancerepairs.com/services/commercial-appliance-repair/restaurant-equipment-repair/ heater repair Los Angeles: https://pacificappliancerepairs.com/services/heating-repair/ residential appliance repair Los Angeles: https://pacificappliancerepairs.com/services/residential-appliance-repair/ commercial appliance repair Near ME: https://pacificappliancerepairs.com/services/commercial-appliance-repair/ furnace repair West Hollywood CA: https://pacificappliancerepairs.com/services/heating-repair/furnace-repair-west-hollywood/ furnace repair East Hollywood: https://pacificappliancerepairs.com/services/heating-repair/furnace-repair-east-hollywood/ furnace repair Echo Park: https://pacificappliancerepairs.com/services/heating-repair/furnace-repair-echo-park/ maytag appliance repair Westwood: https://pacificappliancerepairs.com/services/residential-appliance-repair/maytag-appliance-repair-westwood/

Service We Offer:

Appliance repair Ac repair restaurant equipment repair Refrigerator Repair Heating Repair Washer & Dryer Repair Stove & Oven Repair

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pacificappliancerepairservices Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/PacificApplianceRepairCA/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pacificappliance_repairs/