#funny that he probably weren't them yet 20 years ago

[katherinakaina]

Stamatin brothers together are just Dybovsky, aren't they?

[theobrowningfd]

Merrock Task 20: Social Media

at what age did your character start using social media? Probably in their 20s to 30s

did their parents monitor their use, if they were young? Nope they weren't young

has your character ever had fake identities or accounts online? Absolutely not

no shame: do they remember myspace? did they use it? Yes and probably

who would be in their top eight today? Their siblings, their best friends, maybe coworkers

what social media platforms do they use today? Just Instagram and Facebook

do they have public profiles, or go private? Private

how about their following? are they pretty lowkey, or do they have a decent following? Pretty low key

do they tend to pick obvious usernames, ones with sentimental value, funny things? how do they decide? Absolutely obvious usernames and they just use their names. It's easy to remember

profile pictures: the same across all platforms? Yes, it's easier for them

and just what profile pictures do they use? A picture of them from a party years ago

what kind of bio writer are they? silly, cute, sweet, or just basic? Too basic unfortunately

how much time per day would you say that your character spends on social media? Minimal so maybe less than an hour or two

is there one platform that they visit more than others? Definitely Facebook

if they have kids, do they use social media? how do they feel about that? if not, and they want kids, will they let them use it someday? Maybe his son who is now a teenager. But otherwise not his daughter yet.

be honest: have they ever created an account for something else, like a hobby, or… to try to make their cat internet famous? Nah, he never has

do they run any professional or business accounts? Nope

have they ever left a social media platform (or more than one) for any specific reason?! +nope

do they plan on using social media into their older ages? Who knows!?

have they ever made any long-lasting friendships through social media? Nope

or on the flip side, gotten into any big social media beef? Not at all

have they ever felt negatively impacted by social media as a user? Personally no

who is their favorite person / account to follow on social media? Probably their friends and family

would they say that social media has had an overall more positive or negative impact on the world? It totally depends

and finally: a/s/l? (and do they know what that means?) 44, m, Maine (yes they do)

[jodilin65]

LOL, the honker unfriended me over a comment I made on a political video he shared. Then I took it a step further and blocked the bastard. Never really liked him anyway. Never seemed to have much in common. I don't know if he misunderstood my comment or I misunderstood the video, but either way, I don't give a shit—as long as he doesn't tangle with me. Whether he likes it or not, I'm from here. He isn't. I also don't give a shit if he finds or is aware of this blog since I have pretty much ended up sharing it with a lot of people on Facebook by now.

I heard about five bangs of a hammer and thought, oh, here we go, it's time to get obnoxious because he doesn't like me. But then I realized the golf cart was gone, so it was probably coming from Ray's place. I'm sure he'll still be obnoxious anyway because that's what he does regardless, and I can tell he's not done with his projects. Some days he's out all day and I don't even know he exists. Other days he's puttering about.

Today is Andy's birthday. He's 64. We're both getting old yet have many years left. Well, he may live another 20 or more years, but I don't expect to live the 25 more years I likely would if I didn't go when Tom goes. While women tend to make it to their mid-to-late 80s and guys tend to make it to their early-to-mid 80s these days, I'm thinking I'm going sometime in my 70s.

Anyway, although a part of me will always love Andy and miss some aspects of our friendship—and cherish the funny memories we both have—I'm still not open to the stupidity and toxicity that goes with being his friend. I don't want to be called a liar or an “excuse queen” by someone who should know me better, just because I try to explain something to them that they don't get or like. I don't want to have to tell him the same things over and over again because years of marijuana fucked with his brain cells. I don't want to deal with the false assumptions and false truths. I don't want to feel like I always have to defend myself and correct him where I'm concerned.

Three times I told him not to tell anybody we moved, yet he did. Damaged brain cells or not, I still see that as a betrayal. It shows I can't trust him. So yeah, there is a little bit of guilt, but mostly, I feel proud of myself—especially when it comes to Tammy—for refusing to fall for the same old cycle of bullshit yet again. I just wish I'd smartened up two or three cycles ago.

Mean or selfish or not, I hate people in general. I am just so not a people person. Tom, who is more antisocial than me, says he just doesn't get people and that they're completely alien to him. I don't get a lot of people's shit either. At the same time, I am able to see things from their sometimes-twisted point of view. I value my current friends, but I'm definitely not open to new ones—even if that means, yes, I'm going to die alone no matter how or when I go unless I was surprised with getting something while Tom’s still alive, which I don't see at this point despite having more health issues than he does.

Not everyone who walks the planet is stupid, evil, phony, dishonest, or selfish, but I think the vast majority of people are. Some forms of selfishness are actually reasonable and even healthy. I'm talking about the ones who are selfish at the expense of others. Hell, there are some people willing to pay to see people tortured and killed on the dark web. It is truly chilling to know that there are some people out there who get off on such sadistic shit. Could be your neighbor, a co-worker, or anyone you think is "normal."

The only one I really miss—even if they weren't perfect any more than I am—is Aly. Sometimes I miss Nane, but I'll never miss anyone as much as I miss Aly. Tom and I were talking the other day, and while he says he doesn't believe there's any supreme being involved in our lives, he does think there's some form of an afterlife but doesn't know what it is. His reasoning for this is that the conscience and the mind seem to go beyond the scope of the brain, and it's hard for him to believe that it all comes to an end just because it one day no longer has the chemical process connecting it—sort of like a radio turned off. You don't hear the music, but the signal is still there.

Maybe we really do change forms somehow. I just hope that if she is out there somewhere continuing on, it's in a much better way. The question is, where did it all begin? Some people believe that no matter is created or destroyed. I can see it not being destroyed, but it had to have originated somewhere at some point, right?

[luminari-mc]

I want to talk about Lucifer in lesson 48 (mostly text because I love to analyze characters and write too much):

Alright. For anyone who has been to that point in the game, or for the other half who doesn't care about spoilers, I feel like getting deeper into the internal conflict that Lucifer faces around the end of this lesson, because it is definitely worth talking about.

So, lesson 48. We have the end of the whole karaoke game ordeal, with Levi saving the day, and Diavolo finally gets to have a private talk with MC. Then, he eventually departs, but there are so much stuff happening with Lucifer in this chapter, while him not being directly a central character.

You have Lucifer who, since lesson 20, has made it very clear to MC that as soon as their relationship started, they weren't going to get out of it easily. Or at least without him having a say in it. He's a possessive demon, mostly due to his pride, but also because he truly cares for MC.

And then you have probably the most horrible thing that could happen to him in this lesson. After learning that Diavolo wants to have a private conversation with MC outside of the house, we can see the struggle he faces to keep them away from him. Just as MC is about to join Diavolo, he almost stops them (or was he about to let them know what Diavolo might say? Was Lucifer going to remind them of the feelings he has for MC?), but drops it right away.

Lucifer actually listens in on the conversation. Diavolo reveals some part of his feelings for MC, saying that he adores them. Just as he is about to straight up say he loves them, Barbatos arrives, and so Diavolo is forced to go back to the Devildom. And suddenly, Lucifer starts playing ignorant with MC when they ask how long he's been outside and listening on them. MC can choose to hold his hand, a gesture to which Lucifer responds with a very blurry "honesty", saying that he wasn't actually eavesdropping, but rather waiting for the right moment to cut in. Aka, he was going to butt in at the exact moment Diavolo was about to reveal his feelings for MC.

It's such a horrible situation. Lucifer actually realizes that his boss, the demon he has pledged loyalty to all those thousands of years ago, loves the same person that he does. Internally, Lucifer cannot accept it. Because, Diavolo is not only the most powerful demon after his father, but he is also the future king. Lucifer suddenly becomes terrified of the idea of losing the human he loves to Diavolo, because Diavolo has the actual means to actually take them away from him. He's the prince. He's his boss. If Diavolo were to ever say "MC has to live with me now", Lucifer wouldn't be able to say no.

We then see through Lucifer in this lesson, not only in the silence he gives to MC and Diavolo in the story, but the way he responds to Barbatos in this chat by acting like he doesn't know why Diavolo is feeling down, that he does not know how to deal with his emotions about all this.

He probably hates it. There's a real emotional struggle inside his mind during this lesson, the kind where he doesn't know what to make of his loyalty to the prince when it comes to MC. Should he risk having MC and Diavolo talk, and fear that they might gain feelings for him and leave Lucifer and the brothers behind? Or does he have the strength to face Diavolo for the first time as they fight over who would gain MC's companionship?

It's a bit funny in the sense that it sounds like two animals about to fight over territory, except that one of them is the alpha male that nobody can say no to. But to me, I actually ache for Lucifer. He already had to share MC with his brothers for what, a year and a half, two years ever since they first arrived in the Devildom? And now he learns that the prince himself might snatch them away from him completely (let's be honest, as much as we enjoy their interactions/friendship, it's clear that Lucifer is not about to share MC with him. Diavolo has felt lonely for so many years, the entire concept of "hogging" would have to be rewritten if he ever got ahold of MC on a romantic level).

It's just... so sad. Lucifer grew used to having his brothers around MC. But he can't accept that yet another demon wants their affection, not when the risk of them leaving the House of Lamentation is too great due to said demon being the literal prince of Hell. It's sad, yet so interesting to watch. I really wonder how he's going to deal with this in the next lessons.

[jorisjurgen]

For the Ask Game, Asriel/Flowey perhaps?

First of all thank you for being my #1 supporter in "going insane over him" hobby for the past couple of years, Saffron. This post will certainly contain NOTHING that you hadn't heard me say about him 10 times before in your dms. probably.

[ask game]

1. I literary don't even know where to begin. He has 97 mental illnesses, he's a tsundere, he has 20-30 music tracks associated with him, he's an edgy 12 year old, he remembers what you did in other timeloops and has a lot of dialogue about that, he a lot of different designs and all of them are good. All of it is really good. Though probably my most favorite part IS the sheer tragedy that his life is, and how in the end he gets a happy ending.

2. How underrated he is 💔

3. Of all banger lines that he has, this dialogue straight up Haunts me: "I thought of all people, SHE could make me feel whole again. ...She failed. Ha ha... I realized those two were useless. I became despondent. I just wanted to love someone. I just wanted to care about someone. Chara, you might not believe this... But I decided... It wasn't worth living anymore. Not in a world without love. Not in a world without you. So... I decided to follow in your footsteps. I would erase myself from existence. And you know what? I succeeded."

4. Him and literary everyone. I want him to have a big support system and a lot of friends, and obviously for him to have a good relationship with his parents. But I especially like to see him being friends with Sans and Papyrus. Papyrus is an obvious pick, as for Sans, it's because in geno-route he says that what he thought "the anomaly" (who is almost certainly Flowey, though at that moment he is convinced it's player) really needed is a support system, friends, and care. Also it's funny when Sans is friendly with him and Flowey is PISSED because of that.

5. Past Him and Chara, and then Him and Frisk post-game.

6. I don't know any other pairings with him dfgjsdfg.

7. Some of this is kind of crack, and almost all of this is post-canon lol. Frisk introduces him to vocaloid music and he loves it. I think he'd like beyond-dark music about trauma and death, and vocaloid has a lot of that. Also he seems like the kind of person who unironically listens to nightcore. I think Toriel, not yet knowing that he is her son and that he has 97 mental illnesses, would enroll him into public school the second she learns he is a kid (which, let's be real, will be like a day or two after Frisk brings him outside simply because she can like... Hear him say words, and connect the dots.). He then would definitely cause something simply dubbed as "the knife incident" and be homeschooled then on. He's a good student on good mental heath days, but definitely much worse than his deltarune counterpart. I also think Toriel would be would be a lot more protective and a lot less strict with him than before he died, because she is badly afraid of losing him again. He definitely spends a lot of time with Asgore! Dreemurr Coparenting Real. I don't think his childhood was entirely happy even before death, and before Chara. Neither Asgore or Toriel are perfect, and I could picture him being quite a bit lonely, sheltered, and having a lot of expectations on him from Toriel. He has neon rainbow darkness dementia ravenway type ocs.

8. Chara and him weren't siblings and Chara was abusive to him, and that's not even an opinion this is literary canon. Also he has PTSD and depression and just thinks his emotional issues are the result of being soulless because he literary doesn't know anything! He's some 12 year old guy!! It's far more likely that he is a very unreliable narrator on his own condition because he isn't an expert on souls and maybe doesn't know what a "mental health" is.

9. I have a 3 hour long playlist about him, but my ESSENTIAL Asriel song is "Scrumize" by Maretu.

10. This cut goof toby posted a couple of years ago.

[writerman]

Prompt: Thranduil and Bard went to college together but yearned from afar. Some 20ish years later they see each other again bc their kids go to college together. They weren't even aware that they lived in the same town until Legolas and Sigrid come back for vacation. Kind of like the last prompt I sent you.

Hallo, friend!

Please find my response to your prompt below. Thank you for supporting my stories by sending in prompts for me to respond to.

Please enjoy!

---------------

It was 5am the airport was deserted and Bard really, really wished he’d filled his travel cup with coffee before he had left the house to collect Sigrid from her flight home. 

It was freezing inside and outside with winter well and truly settled in for the holidays, the snow had finally stopped and Sigrid had assured her father their flight had not been cancelled but her friend she was travelling with had booked an earlier flight to be sure they’d get back the day they wanted. 

The blast of colder air from behind him and the sound of the automatic doors meant he was now not the only one in the airport and when he turned around he was greeted with someone bundled up in a long black fur coat and deep green scarf that covered half of their face. Though they wore no hat and their long white-blond hair was dusted with snow that had started lightly falling again outside. 

They stood a few feet away from him and gazed up at the arrivals screen which wasn’t even switched on before they huffed with irritation and turned to Bard tugging down their scarf so they could speak to him. 

Though, Bard was not ready for 1) how maddeningly gorgeous the man was and 2) how it appeared to be his old crush and roommate Thranduil from university some 20 years ago. This did not go unnoticed by the blond who broke into a bright smile as his expression changed from cold indifference to joyful recognition. 

“Bard!” He moved forward without prompting and slung his arms around Bard’s shoulders in a tight embrace. “Ah, how long has it been since we last saw one another?” 

It had definitely been at least 20 years since they parted ways in University to chase their dreams with a youthful exuberance that no longer existed within them. That boundless energy at the prospect of seeing the world, true blue-sky thinking with their hopes tripping from their tongues regaling all who would listen regarding their futures. 

What had Thranduil done with his life?

What had happened to have the man come back to Dale of all the places in the world to settle?

“I had no idea you were in town, what brings you here?” Bard asks as they broke the embrace, he tried to hide the fact his face had flushed pink the second Thranduil had thrown his arms around him. 

“I’ve lived here for years, what about you?” 

How strange it was, Bard had never seen him wandering the streets, not even once in the 10 years he had been settled there in Dale. 

Flight 206 Arriving from Mirkwood Intl at 5:30 am has been delayed. 

The booming yet cheery voice over the tannoy gave Bard heart failure but the dismay at hearing Sigs flight had been cancelled was enough to cover the thundering of his heart.

When he looked to Thranduil he looked equally upset and he turned on his heel and headed towards the door. 

“Come on, let’s not hang about, while I loathe the place, MacDonalds is open and they serve semi-decent coffee. It’s better than hanging about here.” Thranduil looked over his shoulder with a small smile and Bard, O, he followed behind the blond like a puppy, the same as he had all those years ago.

He was still a puppy, and still absolutely harbouring a ridiculous crush and still terrified of confronting those feelings. Somethings just never changed, not even after 20 years, a marriage and children.

And so, that was how Bard found himself sat in the plastic chairs of a booth in the fast-food restaurant catching Thran up on his life, the loss of his wife and the kids. It seemed the blond had a similar story just with one less child and they sat in tense silence for a few moments before Thranduil leaned over the table and put his hand over Bard’s with a coy smile. 

“As inappropriate as this may sound after our conversation,” He glanced around the empty restaurant lobby before continuing. “I had such an infatuation with you when we were at university. Gods it took over my life at one point, nothing obsessive, I promise but I was absolutely in love with you,” He sat back almost immediately after he’d finished speaking, clearly feeling better now he had admitted his secret. 

The information did not help Bard in the slightest. 

“What about now?” Bard ventured feeling brave for literally no reason other than perhaps he was over-caffeinated and it was now just after 6 in the morning. “Ahah, I don’t know why I asked that. Gods, it’s too early, who books a flight this early?” Bard tried to cover his embarrassment with an inane question but Thranduil waved that away looking so serious suddenly. 

“What about now?” Thranduil mirrored the words, but the emphasis was solely on the last word and Bard couldn’t hold his gaze to the blond any longer and instead stared at the plastic lid of his coffee cup. 

“Aren’t we too old to be working through ancient crushes?” Bard asks quietly, he lifts his drink to his lips and feels the still scalding liquid slide down his throat. It was the only distraction at his disposal and being unable to talk due to it sounded like the best thing for him and his mouth that seemed to run off without engaging his mind. 

“You think now you’ve hit your 40s you cannot go in search of love?” Thranduil asked, arching an eyebrow and still managing to look elegant even when unimpressed. “Don’t age yourself in such a way. Personally, yes, I struggled with the loneliness and finding new relationships for the longest time but I always knew I deserved to love again and again.” 

Surely it as easier for Thranduil to find someone to adore him. No that wasn’t fair, adoration wasn’t love. 

“Did you find love again, you didn’t mention you married again.” Bard cast his gaze to Thranduil’s hands, long fingers still smooth and as pale as he remembered… musicians hand he had always said and Thranduil had always enjoyed playing the piano when they had any sort of downtime from studying. 

There was no ring though. 

“Ah, no. It is difficult to find love and raise children at the same time. But now that Legolas is in university and Tauriel is in high school, perhaps I can try again. What about yourself?” 

There is no time for a reply as Bard’s phone begins to play the Coca Cola Christmas music signalling a call from one of his kids. 

It is Sigrid, their flight had just landed and she was currently waiting for her luggage and was he at the airport?

Both men spring from their seats and exit hastily in a bid to get to the airport before their children realise they had been sat cosied up in a MacDonalds trying their hardest not to flirt with one another.

They had failed, of course. 

Again, they went their separate ways, collecting their children and bidding one another happy holidays before heading to their separate cars likely not seeing another again. 

That was until the next day and Bard is sat on the sofa struggling to wrap Tilda’s Christmas gifts while she was out, Sigrid wanders in and hands him a piece of paper with a contact number written out neatly in her own handwriting. 

“Legolas said his dad wanted you to have his number in case of a flight delay like the last time.” A flimsy excuse and she saw right through it, Bard knew that when she grinned and plucked the half-wrapped gift from his hands to finish for him. 

“I think you should probably go call him.” It wasn’t a hint, it was an order and Bard wasn’t sure he enjoyed his children knowing anything about his love life, not like this anyway… but, rather than argue with her about anything to do with Thranduil, he merely nodded and headed to the kitchen dialling the number into his phone’s keypad as he did so. 

Thranduil answered on the second ring with a very smooth and professional greeting which melted away into a warm and friendly tone as soon as he realised it was Bard on the other end of the line. 

That was nice.

It was nice that Thranduil seemed excited to hear from him. 

“I want to get straight to the point, Thran.” Bard began realising it was far easier to talk about his feelings when the icy blue of Thranduil’s eyes weren’t rooting him to the spot speechless like they had all those years ago. “I had a crush on you in university and I hate saying crush because I’m 40 fucking years old but it never went away and I was hoping I could take you out for dinner sometime?”

There was a sigh of relief from Thranduil’s side of the line and when he spoke Bard could hear the smile in his voice.

“Look who is being so brave. You garnered the courage before I could- you win this time. I’d love to have dinner with you. I admit, being wined and dined by Bard Bowman sounds like a dream.” That was a rather big statement to make and Bard forced the oddly youthful giddiness forced down back inside himself before he said something to ruin it all. 

“A dream? How am I a dream date?” He didn’t really want to know, he was afraid Thranduil would tell him he was the perfect kind of dull for a man his age, even if that sounded out of character for the blond it was still a fear.

“Oh come on, you just want me to stroke your ego. But, fine, I suppose you deserve it after all these years.” Thranduil sounded like he was shifting to get comfortable before he spoke again, “You’re incredibly handsome, and you seemed to have gotten even better with age. You’re kind and gentle and you’re funny. I like a man that can make me laugh.”

Funny? 

He’d never been called funny before, perhaps he had been a comedian in university but he couldn’t recall, however, if Thranduil thought he was that was enough for him. 

“Ok, ok, you’ve made your point, I’m your dream man. That works well for me, so if I stuff this up I still have a chance?”

There was laughter from Thranduil and the deep rumble of it made Bard lightheaded for a second before he brought himself firmly back to planet earth to ask the most important question.

“So, when would you like to meet?” 

“Hmm, is tonight too soon?” No, no it was not, even if Thranduil had asked to meet him an hour from then he would agree. 

After all, hadn’t they spent enough time apart already?

There was no need for him to play hard to get or even casual. 

“Tonight is fine, I will pick you up at 8. Text me your address and I will see you then.”

“I am looking forward to it.”

When the call disconnected Bard wandered past the living room where Sigrid was sat talking quietly on the phone, she spotted her dad and grinned knowingly giving him a thumbs up.

He received a text later that day from Thranduil containing his address and then another right after simply saying:

I have the house to myself tonight ;) 

The night would be an eventful one but who was Bard to complain? 

This year was going to have a very different ending to all those he had spent in the past alone. Even if he was terrified of this whole new adventure, at least he was doing it with someone who wanted to be by his side for the entire ride.

[thatwriterkei]

-Moment of Tangency-

Series Summary: When Y/N's favorite fictional characters come to life, a mystery ensues as a killer wreaks havoc in Bangor, Maine.

~

Chapter Summary: What started out as a sleepover with your best friend turned into a night of unexplainable events.

Warnings: cursing, underage pining if you squint, mentions of sex.

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: Here's the first chapter of the big series I was talking about! I really hope you guys enjoy this, I've been working on this for about a month and it would mean the world to me if you have feedback and brought attention to this to those who would enjoy it too! I'm really excited to see how this goes.

~

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_________________

Chapter One: The Beginning

"You will soon receive support from an unexpected source.." 

The red letters of your fortune stared back at you ominously.

"Hey, that's great timing huh?"

"Too soon, Marcus..Too soon."

A sheepish smile formed on his freckled face, "Sorry..Here, have another."

You shook your head, waving away the cookie. "I'll just stick to mine. I only have a little bit of room left for it." 

You took small bites, slowly indulging in the delicious treat, afraid of letting it go to waste with just two or three bites.

"I'm surprised your dad let me spend the night."

"Honestly, me too..I don't think he noticed that you're in the middle of transitioning."

"He probably just thinks I'm gay or something.."

You let out a choked laugh, "Maybe because you are."

"Hey, you can't tell me that Mr. Fisher isn't hot as fuck!"

"He isn't, oh my god!" You tried to finish the rest of your cookie without inhaling crumbs, suppressing the laughter building in your stomach.

"Have you seen his hands?! Y/N, I don't think you understand how much I adore him!"

"He's 20, Marcus!! Not to mention, he sucks at teaching physics."

"Hey, I didn't say my future man had to be smart."

"You're ridiculous."

"Yes, yes I am. Oh! Speaking of guys, any good gossip for the ship of a century?"

You could help but roll your eyes at his teasing, blood rushing to the apples of your cheeks.

"Kolby and I haven't spoken since last week. I don't think he likes me anyway. He's been talking to Heather more recently.." 

And, for some reason, you weren't too interested in him either. Yes, he was a nice looking, athletic guy but you just didn't care enough to go further than a 'hi, how're you?' with him.

"Well, his loss. You're a wonderful girl and it's a shame he's wasting your time with his boyish nonsense. Besides, he doesn't even wear watches like Mr. Fisher."

"I swear to god, if you mention him or watches one more time.."

"You're right, sorry," he held up his hands defensively before putting them down, "I just don't wanna see you get hurt, Y/N/N.."

"I know you're worried, Marcus, but I'm fine. It's our junior year, I don't think long-term relationships are supposed to happen for us until we're in like college."

"You never know..Anyway, what do you even see in him?"

You let out a sigh, sinking in the mounds of pillows and blankets that are laid astray on your bed.

"Umm..He's cute, without a doubt. His jokes are sometimes funny, depends on who he's around. He has a nice sense of style, I guess? I don't know..We've only known each other for a little over two months."

Marcus laid beside you, rolling to his side with a dopey grin plastered on his pale face. "And a lot could happen in two more months if you just talk to him. I promise, I won't even bother you in Algebra..Okay? Just trust me on this.."

You groaned but, nevertheless, agreed with a silent nod.

"Love shouldn't be this complicated.."

"Sometimes it is, sweetie..But only time can lead you to where you're supposed to be.."

"Yeah, I know...Since when did you become my therapist?" You let out a scoff.

"Since third grade! Now, c'mon, get off your lazy ass and let's do something cool!" 

He pulled at your limp arm once he stood up, dragging you to the floor and down the hallway towards the mini library your stepmom installed about a year ago; who has yet to use it.

"If you were looking for 'cool', you brought us to the wrong place." 

Your eyes scanned over the bookshelves, catching titles of famous works.

To Kill a Mockingbird

The Great Gatsby

War and Peace

Charlotte's Web

"You only have that perception because you hate her."

"Of course! Have you seen her?"

"Yeah, but this is still cool! You should take advantage of it while you can." 

Marcus released his hold from your ankle, scampering over to the section of the library where a red and white book was gleaming for attention.

"Oh my god! Miranda got the newest edition of IT?"

You stood up abruptly and made your way over. "She got what?!" 

"Holy shit, this is amazing! We haven't fangirled over this book since freshmen year."

"Oh yeah, our biggest obsession since One Direction." You laughed, taking the book out of his hands and running your finger over the textured title.

"Not gonna lie, the older cover looked better."

You rolled your eyes and ushered him over to the desk in the middle of the room. "Wait, let's see if they kept in that one part.."

"Which one? Does it have to do with Stanley? You had a major crush on his fictional ass." He teased, pulling up another chair beside yours.

"No no no, the one with Eddie and-Oh, I found it!"

Man, he had hated it when Richie called him Eds…but he had sort of liked it, too. It was something….like a secret name. A secret identity. A way to be people that had nothing to do with their parents’ fears, hopes, constant demands. Richie couldn’t do his beloved Voices for shit, but maybe he did know how important it was to creeps like them to sometimes be different people.

"Oh, I absolutely love this part..It's just, mwah, beautiful. Stephen King certainly knew what he was doing.."

"C'mon, let's go back to my room and reminisce." You took his arm and pulled him back to your bedroom.

~

You internally screamed at Marcus's onslaught recollection of memories.

"Oh, and that one time when you had a major attraction for-"

"Okay okay, that's enough reminiscing!!" You tossed the book at him.

"Aww, what? Feelin' embarrassed, sweetie?" He barely dodged the book, letting it bounce off your bed and onto the ground with a dull thud.

"Shut up.." You grabbed the nearest pillow and slightly smothered yourself with it.

The memories he continued to bring up brought back some nostalgia but looking back at it now made you cringe. You were practically grown up now, not 15 years old. 

"Okay, I'm sorry. But wouldn't it be cool if the losers club was real? Like actually around, in real life? Derry was based off of Bangor so it's more than likely you could find your own Stanley Uris." 

You cracked a smile at that and threw the pillow at him, situating yourself underneath the covers of your bed. "Yeah, yeah. I wish."

Marcus promptly pulled out his phone and checked the time, turning it over towards you  and flashing the bright light in your face. "Well, it's almost 11:11..Make a wish!"

"Seriously?" You deadpanned.

"C'mon, it wouldn't hurt!"

You sighed, sitting up on your elbows and closing your eyes. "Tell me when. You wish it too, okay?"

"Okay," some time passed, "now."

I wish the losers club was real..The entire gang. Every single one of them.

I wish I could blow Bill Denbrough.

You opened your eyes after you recited your wish a couple of times, sighing. You raised an eyebrow at Marcus, seeing him struggle to contain his laughter though the crimson red covering every inch of his face gave it away.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"I wished that I could blow Bill."

"Goddamnit, Marc."

~

It took about a half hour before the two of you could fully relax into a deep sleep but once you guys did, Marcus took up most of the bed. 

A heavy gush of wind pushed open your window, the cool air from outside blowing into your room. You snuggled a little more under the covers, face being buried into someone's back. They smelled so nice, a light hazelnut scent and freshly washed hair that reminded you of late night drives with your older cousin when you were younger; Just absolute nostalgia exuded from them. You felt your entire body relax against theirs, the warmth overtaking your slightly exposed skin from the nippy air coming through the window.

You hear a quiet groan from the opposite side of you, the noise causing you to stir from whatever you were dreaming about prior; It was a bit fuzzy.

"What the fuck? Dumbass window.." It was just Marcus.

You felt the weight from the bed disappear, his dull footsteps moving around the carpeted room as he shuts the window.

He turns around and gives one look over the room, his eyes partially open. He sees a couple of people in the room, the sight confusing him in his drowsy state.

"What the..?"

A mix of someone screaming bloody murder and a smoke alarm going off floods the room, echoing off the walls and throughout the house. Even Marcus wouldn't be surprised if the neighbors heard him too.

It takes just a few seconds before your sleeping mind can process the screeching, thus causing you to flip over to your other side and turning on the lamp. Your eyes are piercing with annoyance, though you were still a little concerned about your astonished friend across the room.

"Marc, what the hell?! What's wrong? What happened?"

You cast a glance around your room, trying to pick the oddball out.

"What the hell?!" You hear from behind you, the sudden noise alarming you and making you jump off the bed towards the ground. 

Your head whipped around so quickly you were sure it was the dizziness that made your imagination run wild from the sight. There laid a guy, around your age, with very curly light brown hair that just looked absolutely divine to twirl your fingers around.

Underneath you comes a strangled groan, almost upon impact. Looking below, you find a girl with fiery red hair in a bob style. You push yourself off of her and scoot away until your back hits Marcus's legs.

"Who the fuck is yelling-Oh, holy shit..!" You hear another slightly deep voice exclaim. 

Turning to your right sat five other guys with drastically different appearances, one after another coming to the realization that they had no fucking clue where they were.

The room grew quiet, fear growing in your eyes as you try to find a person to focus on but the thought only made you even more dizzy than before.

_________________

Let me know if you wanna be tagged for future chapters!! 💖

-Moment of Tangency- tags: @beauregard-s @demoniclust @deepestofwaters @grapesauze @god-knows-what-am-i-doing @soulwillower @19tozier @phrogtheguitarist @kindofokayimagines @stenbrozier @stenbrozier @brxken-heartsclub @fucking-greywater @theliterarymess

[onrainynights]

So I'm about to tell y'all a tale, buckle up. Everything here is 100% true, except names are changed or shortened because duh. Also warning there is slightly nsfw content, nothing explicit and only mentioned but still warrants a warning.

So, I'm 17, almost 18. I'm a high school senior. The story starts almost two years ago, in the fall of 2018. I was a sophomore. One of my best friends, V, was in our school's show choir for the first time, and had made friends with a new guy one year our senior who was also in slow choir. I knew before I met him that he was gay, because V told me. This guy can be called E. One day, he sits at our lunch table and I'm not really paying attention to his conversation with V, I'm just eating my lunch. But then I look up and my first thought when I see him is "eyebrows" because he has really thick eyebrows and then "wow he's actually really cute." He was the first person I was attracted to in over 2 years. I proceed to ask V all about him while admiring him from afar for several months. At this point its nothing more than attraction because I've never really had a conversation with him. Then, in the spring, I volunteered at the show choir competition my school hosted. I ended up talking to him (yay), and he hugs me within minutes of meeting me. One of the first things I ever say to him is "I like your eyebrows." Things are slightly awkward, because I'm an awkward person, and so is he, but it's pleasant. Unfortunately I don't get to spend too much time with him because we both had things we needed to do and there was A LOT of drama that night not involving either of us.

After that point we would talk occasionally but never really got to know each other, UNTIL fall of my junior year and his senior year. By this point I had a crush, but it wasn't more than that and I didn't feel we knew each other well enough to warrant me telling him my feelings. We were both in the fall musical. At auditions, we were friendly. Except he asked me about J, a guy one year younger than me, who was also just as gay as both me and E. The way he asked me "Who is that?" I knew, immediately, that he was attracted to J. He sounded exactly like I did when I first asked V about E after seeing him for the first time.

Regardless, E and me talked a lot more during rehearsals, though we usually kept our conversations light in topic. We flowed well, and he was just as physically affectionate as I was. After a few weeks, I see him cuddling with J during rehearsal, and a friend informs me they started dating. I asked them both questions about how it started—a Snapchat story, go figure. At first I was jealous, but I saw how happy E seemed, and that was all that mattered. But I didn't really know J, like at all other than his name, so I started spending as much time as I could with the both of them. They were a cute couple, I have to admit, but they always did PDA because of J's homophobic family. They only ever saw each other at school.

The first time I talked to J without E there, we bonded. I don't remember over what. The next time, we were alone because I pulled him aside after he made a dirty joke that I honestly couldn't tell if he meant (he did. It was hilarious, and I told him up-front that I wanted to be friends with him. He enthusiastically agreed.) The time after that, it was because I decided he should know about my feelings for E. I didn't want him to potentially find out later on and think I was trying to steal his boyfriend. He was amazingly mature. He said he felt bad for taking E from me when I had liked him longer, but I assured him that E didn't belong to me by any means and besides, J made E happy and that was all I cared about. I think I was already in love with E by this point but I didn't know it yet. J and I joked about my feelings for E whenever we were alone. We got along really well and it was a great time.

One time I cuddled with them, and it was nice, and when E had to get up J and I kept cuddling and talked about how much we both just wanted E to be happy. It was really nice.

And then, closer to the opening night of the show when the set was being built and there were more places to be out of sight, something strange happened. Now, earlier when I said PDA I meant they made out in front of others frequently, and the first time they did anything sexual with each other was in a well-known security camera blind spot in the upstairs math hall after all the teachers had gone home. I know that because J and E (mostly J) liked to tell me about their sex life. In fact, I knew more about their relationship than most people probably did.

So we were backstage one day, when E wasn't needed on-stage much despite playing a main character. There were two prop chairs between the three of us. J sat on E's lap on the chair that had a higher back and I sat as close to them as I could in an office chair. They weren't kissing or anything, just talking.

It was innocent, at first. But then J started working E up, if you know what I mean. It wasn't really uncomfortable for me, because J somehow made me feel ~included~ in their activities. He would whisper something lewd to E, who would blush or say something back, and then would tell me about how affected E was, how hard he was. At some point I think E mentioned not wanting to come in his pants, but I'm not sure. I kinda forced myself not to look into this event after it happened, so the details are a bit fuzzy. Eventually, E made J stop because he had to go on stage soon and didn't want to have a boner while pretending to be straight. J and I talked afterwards, but I don't remember what about, and it was never mentioned between us again. I'm fairly sure that J was a bit of an exhibitionist, and that E wasn't really one but wasn't opposed to what J was doing, either.

Honestly, in hindsight, I'm not sure what to think about this, because I was always so certain they both viewed me 100% platonically, but then they included me in their "sexytimes" without hesitation. In fact, at one point a plan was in place for me to room with them on an overnight trip so that they could do the do without making their roommate uncomfortable. They were both fully aware that I was probably the only person who didn't mind their PDA, and that sentiment may seem incongruous for a love triangle such as this, but I never questioned it. I loved E selflessly, and so it made me happy to see him happy, no matter what—or who—was doing so. Also, I think perhaps I was crushing on J at some point, but I'm not sure. These screenshots are of me explaining the event to a very close friend a few days ago after the shock wore off that I hadn't told her about it as soon as it happened.

At some point, a mutual good friend of mine and E's, who we'll call A, hosted a party for the cast of our musical. I'm not sure if this was before or after the casual exhibitionism incident, but I'm inclined to think it was before.

This party did not involve alcohol of any kind because theatre kids don't need any to make a party unique, wild, and totally unforgettable. It was small, with maybe 20 people at its peak. E and I were there and J was not, because his family thoroughly sucked ass. Anyway, at that party E told me he was in love with J, and wanted to marry him some day. I, obviously, thought that was kinda crazy to say after knowing each other for two months, but I held my tongue because E smiled so widely when he said it. Later that same night, everyone was sitting around a fire, playing a game somewhat similar to truth or dare. Due to a lack of seating, E ended up sitting on my lap for most of the game, which lasted over an hour, my hands around his waist. It was very nice, and when he got up he laughed and said he forgot he was sitting on my lap. He forgot little things like that a lot. I always found it endearing.

Then the show performed and then it was over, and I didn't get to talk to E again until a few months later, and I never talked to J again. Unlike most teens, I do not talk to people online /through text unless I already know them super super well. I hate getting to know people over text. By the time I see E again, because he's the student assistant in my choir class that semester, he and J have broken up. It was messy, and E is hurt. They're on-again-off-again for several months, but I can never forgive J for hurting E, not when he had talked about only wanting E to be happy. Despite that, I wish I could have spent more time with J. He was a good person, but he and E had a toxic relationship after the honeymoon stage, I think because J simply was not ready to be in a serious relationship. (A agrees with me fully on this.)

So E talks with me and a mutual "friend" (we're all friendly but I wouldn't consider this person a friend. Funnily enough, he also had a crush on E at some point, and we bonded over this. Funny how that happens.) about his relationship, and the things he says raise some red flags about J (including J doing something E didn't like during sex and then not stopping when E asked him to. I was very very angry at this but tried not to show it). It became clear to me that their relationship was toxic, but I didn't feel like I could do anything about it. In hindsight, I should have known their relationship was doomed a lot sooner.

Specifically, there was one point during the musical that J had to resolve things with his ex, who was a friend of mine (who I didn't know was queer and wasn't supposed to until E accidentally let it slip.) While J and his ex talked, I cuddled with E and reassured him that everything would be ok. He was convinced that J would cheat on him or get back with his ex. This lack of trust should have been a sign for me, but I didn't realize it until much, much later. I was focused on comforting E at the time and J couldn't have been farther from my mind.

Then, after E and J got back together again for the last time, covid happened, and school closed. I haven't spoken to E since, and no one knows what's going on with J. The only thing anyone knows is that they're not together anymore, and from what I can tell, they're not in contact at all and aren't going to get together again. E graduated, J is at a different school, and despite everything, I miss both of them.

Every day, I pass by a photo of E and A in the hallway of my school, and my heart swells, and I feel like crying. A graduated too, and she's moving thousands of miles away at the end of October for college. E is still living in our town, going to community college, but I never get to see him.

Our school is doing a fall play instead of a musical this year, and E and A are coming to visit and see a rehearsal before A moves away. It could be one of the last times, if not the last time, I get to see either of them. I'm going to tell E about my feelings, because for the first time since I realized my feelings for him were not skin-deep, he's single and not recovering from a nasty breakup. I'm not expecting him to return my feelings, but I'm expecting surprise. I've been very careful up to this point to keep my feelings from him—I thought it would be selfish to tell him when he wasn't emotionally available. A loves the idea—apparently she thinks someone confessing feelings for her after years would be sweet—but I know that if someone did that to me I might not be so happy. I would be shocked and surprised first, and then my reaction after that would depend on the person.

Also, to complicate all of this, I'm trans and he has expressed confusion about that before (poor guy is uneducated in that department, but not bigoted and certainly better than some gay men can be, but I still have no clue if my trans status would deter him from having feelings for me)

My feelings for this guy are deeper than anything I've ever felt before. I really love him, and I know that I'll regret it forever if I never tell him. His visit feels like it's as close to the right time as I'm gonna get, and it might be my last chance on top of that. I don't need him to return my feelings, but I need to know that I did everything I could to take my chances.

TL;DR: I'm a gay idiot but I'm finally gonna tell him how I feel

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Tess

A nice pre-Christmas argument

Tess joined the chat 2 hours ago Ali: Mamacita! How's tricks? Did you manage to get the gum out of Rocky's hair in the end or is he rocking a no.1 rn? Tess: It's hat season he'll be fine. It's your da you need to worry about if he doesn't get those bloody Christmas decs out Ali: At least you'll be saved the toxic fumes of the nit shampoo, like. I'll make him some earmuffs, ears like that, he'll get frostbite. Ali: Aww, leave off, he's got a bad back, like 😜 Ali: Caleb can come help with the heavy shit, he's like an ox, I'll be creative director, obvs, I've got the eye, he's got the body Ali: 😉 Tess: I hope you've got plenty of wool 'cause the dog got to ours and its a bloody state. He'll have a bad head to go with it in a minute. Nah you're alright bab Tommy's offered and Drew might as well make himself useful now he's sniffing round again. Ali: Well, there goes your classic jumper presents! Have to brave dem crowds, fight a bitch for the last...idk, what do kids even want these days? Last I heard from Rock mutant turtles and power rangers were back in vogue but they're probably out again, its been a week or so 😏 Contrary fuckers, eh? I was NEVER that bad, was I? Bet you wish you could relieve those easy years raising me, the dream child 😇 Ali: Alright then, though I wouldn't recommend confining Tommo and Drew to a space as small as the loft, T is gunning for him Ali: aren't we all? but hey 🤷 see if those muscles are just for show ay Tess: He's still on about that slime bollocks. Supposedly this stuff blows bubbles and expands or whatever. All I'm bothered about is that it says it ain't sticky. Better sodding not be. Ha! If you weren't being a little demon you were trying to raise them. Easy ain't the word love! Tess: I'll put Drew at the bottom of the ladder. Maybe some of the boxes'll land on his head. Knock some sense into the lad. Ro too seeing as she's never far. Ali: That shit is such a rip-off though, I could make him some dead cheap, tell him he can have it whatever colour, whatever random shit he wants in it, and no one else will have the same at School Ali: Save your money for the feast 💃'cos I won't be absolutely stuffed from my first xmas dinner, like, nah Ali: and demons need love too, ma, just ask Ro Ali: will he be joining us for meal numero dos? cos i don't think i can stomach 2 helpings of him in one day tbh Tess: Tell him yourself. I tried to make some with him in the summer and the ungrateful little sod wouldn't even come sit up the table. His loss. They loved it at work. Tess: Don't. That girl'll do me in one of these days . I'm surviving on spite by now 'cause he'll be eating with us over my dead body. Caleb's lot are welcome to keep him. Ali: I'm tellin ya get the kid some prescription speed, it'll do him wonders 😂 Well, that's another idea fucked...tis the season! Ali: I know, it ain't even funny at this point. Ali: You know she's gonna wanna go see him, yeah? You'll never get her to sit through games and shit telly once she's picked at her veg Ali: Its like kid swap up in here Tess: If I can get some what's on her plate into her instead of just the dog I'll be laughing. Fuck's sake. Kids who'd celebrate 'em? Grandkids on the other hand. Mary'd have been proper buzzing for that. Ali: Oi, woman! I'm right here Ali: and the giver of majority grandkids, so, think on, love Tess: You're even stevens kiddo. Keep it that way 'til you're done with uni yeah? Call that the xmas gift that keeps giving. Ali: yeah but a twofer ain't the same, is it? 😜 don't make promises i can't keep, ma Ali: engineering students are so fit, how will i resist? Tess: Tell that to Bea. I'm sure she'd have plenty to say back. Ali Mckenna don't test me there's plenty of room in the car when we go for Tommo's new specs I can get you in too. Ali: Yeah, yeah, she can lord it over me with her efficient vagina, getting it done in one, I'll be many bucks fizzes deep by then, give a shizzle Ali: Gurl, my vision is 20/20, in my third eye too, ooOOoOoOOOo Ali: Maybe Beatrice will prove again why she's your favourite daughter by distracting Ro so much with this London visit she won't have time to pine over Drew at all, happy days Tess: That's the spirit. Save your dad's back. He still thinks he's a brawler. Tess: Shh I don't have favorites I'm not one of your teachers. Tess: I'm sure Drew'll stay one text away throughout. Never off her phone now is she. Ali: Ahh, old man could still take him, Drew's a pussy Ali: I'll get Marlene round again lmao Ali: Suuuuuuuuuuuure ya don't 😏 Ali: We can only assume texting is a medium in which he really shines, 'cos seeing them IRL, doesn't make sense, so... Tess: Now that girl is a fave, thinking 'bout it. Yeah I like her. Tess: He must know his selfie angles or some shit. Tess: You tell me I'll never see the appeal. Ali: oh, sweet mama, if only you'd voiced your preference sooner, maybe i'd of married her and had lots of gaybies instead Ali: alas 🤣 Ali: you sound 100, do you feel it? 😉 Ali: he's a vessel for her hopes and dreams, init, but he ain't, he just needs to man up and move the fuck on so she can too Tess: Like you've ever listened to your ma. Double it and you ain't close, bab. I'm in those vampiric numbers here. Tess: Yeah. Maybe try telling her that. Ali: You wish you were a vampire. Which, tbh, is telling of how old you is. Ain't nothing cool about being a basement dwelling weirdo who can't sample the wonder and joy of garlic bread. Ali: Why don't you? Oh wait, cos it ain't for either of us to say it so we'll just sit here like bitter old lemons Ali: You're a bad influence, lady Tess: If that's what you think about vampire lore then I ain't gonna even waste my breath young'un. Tess: I have, cheers. I ain't sitting on my arse doing fuck all for you lot even if that's what you reckon. Tess: Exactly. Learn a lesson. Ali: Mhmm, go tell it to the lost boys 'cos I don't give a damn, I'm getting doughballs baby Ali: Pshhh, well fat lot of good its done, why you setting me up to fail then?! Ali: I know when to bow out gracefully Tess: I don't need to 'cause we'll all be snacking. If you'd watched that movie when I offered you'd know garlic don't work in that verse. Tess: There's nothing graceful about tapping out with a fight left to finish. I thought you'd been set up to go 'til the final bell but do what you've gotta do. Or don't. Tess: There's plenty of other shit stuck to the fridge singing your praises like Ali: No thank you, there's watching some lame for jokes, then there's forcing yourself to endure kiefer sutherland and co Ali: That's sadism. Ali: Well, there's nothing graceful about kicking a girl when she's down Ali: going blow for blow ain't always the right approach, is it? not with someone like Ro so don't start alright Tess: Lame? And you wonder why you ain't my fave. Tess: Helping your sister up is always the right approach if you don't want her to stay down. Tess: I'm not starting anything. I've said my piece. End of. Ali: C'mon, I know even Joe couldn't pretend to like it, like Ali: That's my point, she ain't fell yet, she's on a Drew-related high so pardon me from not trying take the rug from up under her Ali: not that I could if I tried, like I said, what good has you 'saying your piece' done? Ali: sometimes all you can do is be there to pick up the pieces after, that's just facts Tess: You all take after your da is why. No taste none of ya. Tess: It's done me a lot of good being able to get it on the record each time, cheers. Tess: sometimes that's a cop out 'cause you want a easy life Tess: Fact is there's plenty that could have been done before he did his reappearing act. Ali: Oh, yeah? Like what? Changing her entire worldview in time for tea? Ali: If it was that easy, you would've managed it by now Ali: Don't be so hard on yourself, your not doing her, or any of us, a favour with this shit Tess: He's a dealer it is that easy. It ain't my job to manage it though. You all wanna be treated like adults and have me wipe your arses for you at the same time I think not. Do yourself and her, a favor and use that big brain of yours. Ali: You think she doesn't know? Now who's being thick Ali: She doesn't care, so unless you're planning to cop shop him that means sweet fuck all doesn't it Tess: It ain't about what she knows. Last I checked he's not the only dealer in Dublin. There's still some honor among scumbags and more than one way to get caught out. Ali: Aww, such a softie at heart, ain't ya? Tess: Takes one to know one. Ali: That is one small step above 'I know you are but what am I?' Ali: No one wants Drew to get kneecapped or Ro to be collateral but he wants to be treated like an adult, so we can't wipe his arse, can we? Tess: Speak for yourself I'd spend my reddies to see that. However bad he thinks he is there's always someone worse and the sooner he learns it the better for all of us having to watch him play silly beggars Tess: Ro's worth a million of him maybe when she's grown up she'll know it. Ali: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're such a hard bitch. Maybe if he'd got proper help from people like you he woulda turned out better when he was grown too. Ali: It ain't too late for either of them. Tess: I'm what I've had to be. I can't save 'em all. Not even close. You'd be well to stay away from him if you've still got the sense you were born with. Ali: Yeah but you still try, don't you? Read back your previous wisdom for your answer there. Ali: Bit hard when we live in the same gaff isn't it but I can assure you I'm not going out of my way to be his bestie, mother Tess: I ain't about to flog a dead dog. He ain't a stupid kid anymore and what happened when he was a little 'un ain't an excuse either Tess: Nobody's got it easy. Tess: It's up to him to work out if his turning point's come and gone or if he even reckons he needs one. Ali: You don't have to but you can see the pretense Ro is working under, yeah? She doesn't think she's doing anything wrong and, arguably, she ain't. But sometimes all you get for your efforts is a kick in the teeth. Ali: Nobody's got it easy. Ali: It's up to HER to call time, not us. Tess: Who says? I've been there. Thinkin I had it all and knew even more about my future with my dream boy. Nobody came to clue me in but even now I wish they fucking had done. Ali: Like you'd have listened. Tess: If I had someone who gave a shit maybe Tess: She'd listen to you. Ali: Say you had, would you have done anything differently? Even if you knew how it'd go, if you didn't have Ronnie, you might still be with Josh now Ali: It changes everything about you Ali: I don't think she would. There's no reasoning because there is no reason, or rhyme for that matter Tess: Of course I would. I'd do everything differently. I'm not trying to romanticise who I was. Or am. Tess: Change ain't no bad thing when it comes to this. Or me Tess: Because you don't wanna think that she would and deal with all the shit that comes with her doing that. I don't blame ya but that don't make it right Tess: it's still a cop out. Ali: Well, I hope it soothes YOUR soul villainizing yourself because as someone who's half you, it's not something that is helpful, at all. Ali: Who's been there for her after every break-up? Who has to listen to every fucking detail? It ain't been you. And I can assure you I didn't spend those times when he was out of the picture singing his fucking praises. I HAVE told her. Everyone has. It just pisses you off that you can't fix this, or her. Tess: You're all you. Your own person. End of. Tess: And it should help you to know the truth. I was a bad person Ali and I ain't exactly sainted now. I do my best that's all any of us've got. Deal with it. Tess: I'm sorry you want a gold star or pat on the head for doing what you're supposed to for who you love. You're not getting it from me. Try your luck with your da maybe. Tess: And yeah it does piss me off so what? Ali: That isn't close to being true. There's no such thing as an individual, sorry to burst your bubble. Ali: And no one is one or the other. Christ, you're so fucking old testament. Ali: If your going in for all that shite, you should look at how revered a knocked-up teenage girl is whilst you're at it Ali: No one gives a shit about your war stories, they don't help anyone but you so you keep all that anger and hold it tight 'cos none of us are here for it any more Ali: Good luck trying to get Rocky to sit still so you can tell him all about damnation to scare him straight, good fucking luck Tess: You're not gonna change my mind. If you were anything close to being half of me we wouldn't be having this conversation. Tess: Life's black and white for me. That's what happens when you don't have choices. Call it what you like. Tess: And there's nothing to be preached to me about being a knocked up teen by you or anyone else. I ain't trying to either you just think it's that onesided 'cause you never listen Tess: There you go again speaking for everyone else when you mean yourself. But whatever. Tess: Get your own stories and leave mine out of it. Tess: Grow up, Ali. Ali: Now there's a copout if I ever heard one. Ali: Listen to what? What are you spouting but hot air? Ali: Oh, yeah? What one of your sainted children has benefitted? Ronnie hates you, Joe's a junkie, me and Fraze did exactly what you did. Ali: Tommy is passable but he's unhappy as fuck so, well done there. You've only got one left. Ali: What's the point? No one can ever match up to your infinite wisdom, I'd rather stay young so I knew what the hell I was talking about instead of making myself look like an old fool

[la-appel-du-vide]

09•20•18 - 09•23•18

Vegassss the SEQUEL baby!

Two weekends in Vegas in a row is FINE by me. (: This week's event? iHeartRadio! ❤️ After last year, we knew it would be a fun tradition. This time, it was me, Beach and Kena.

Kena and I headed down on Thursday night. Beach had to stay home for work until Saturday. It was Kena and I's first road trip in a while, but we fell right back into the swing of things. Between talking and singing along to all of the throwbacks, time flew by. We made it to St. George in record time, and then got caught up in 45 minutes at McDonald's waiting for subpar fries. Regrets, but also so funny. 😂

We made it to Lisa's around midnight, and headed to bed. (Side-note: Lisa's guest bed has the most amazing comforter. 😍 It's like sleeping on a cloud. I want one so bad. It's my favorite part of staying at her house!) On Friday, we got up and ready, and went over to the Neon Boneyard. I always try to do something new in Vegas every time I go, and this was the big one this trip. The Neon Boneyard is a a place where any old Vegas signs from the Strip go when they are retired. It was so cool to see all the old signs and lights. And it made for some amazing photos as well. The only issue was the 102 degree weather! ☀️☀️ We had to keep taking breaks from the unforgiving sun by hanging out in the adorable gift shop. I would definitely recommend this place.

After the Neon Boneyard, we stopped by the Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas sign to take our traditional photos. Then we made yet another stop at the Seven Magic Mountains. (Kena's never seen them, but at this point, I've been like 10 times hahaha.) She also loved them, of course. We even took some photos of me sitting on her shoulders, and I'm just wildly impressed by her ability to stand up with me sitting on her! She got claps from strangers around us haha.

Then we had dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, and did some shopping. Such a perfect day in one of my favorite cities. 

On Saturday, we got up and got ready for the music festival. We went to pick up Brady from the airport, and she told us that she had forgotten her ticket for the concert. She kills me haha, I had texted her to remind her, but also had told Kena that I was 98% sure she would forget it anyway. I should have gone to pick it up from her house beforehand. So poor Beach had to sit for seven hours waiting for us, because she couldn't get in. Life lesson - If you're going to a concert, remember your ticket!

The concert was moved to a different location this year, given the tragedy that took place a year ago at the original location. This one had zero shade, so that was rough. The nice part was, there weren't as many people here this year. We had a lot of space to go in and out, and didn't feel as much pressure to keep our spot at the front. I didn't know as many of the artists this year, but I was still excited.

Highlights were 5 Seconds of Summer, Dua Lipa, Bazzi, Logic, and Dustin Lynch. Dua Lipa was probably my favorite though. The girl is SASSY. Watching her perform was so fun. She really put on a show, and gave off great vibes. I liked her stuff before, but I'm a big fan now.

This may be the literal hottest I've ever been though. We were just standing in the sun, with no protection. It was over 100 degrees. We were surrounded by people. I was honestly pouring sweat. It was disgusting haha. When artists came on-stage that we weren't interested in, we would walk back to a little patch of shade a ways off, and just try to cool down for a few minutes. Taking breaks also made it so that my back and feet didn't suffer like they did last year.  

The worst thing that happened to me that day: During one of our shade breaks, I looked up and noticed a woman I was pretty sure was Brandi Cyrus literally 10-feet away from us. I pointed her out to Kena, and we were both pretty certain that it was her. She was wearing sunglasses, but it looked just like her and she was in an outfit I was sure she'd wear. I second-guessed, and didn't go up to her for fear of it being just a random stranger. Well, she walked away, and I later saw on her Instagram, a post of her at the concert IN THAT OUTFIT. IT WAS LITERALLY BRANDI CYRUS 10 FEET FROM ME, AND I DIDN'T GET A PICTURE?!?? ARE YOU KIDDING. I'm so upset. How did I miss my opportunity to talk to a Cyrus. I'm crushed. I tweeted about how sad I was, and she actually tweeted me back, so I guess that's cool. Anyway, it's still too soon to talk about this. 😭😭😭

After the concert, we went to meet Beach and go get dinner. (Poor girl, I feel so bad she had such a boring day.) Then Beach really wanted to try her hand at gambling. So we went to the Bellagio, and she played one round of blackjack. She lost, but it was fun to watch haha. Now she wants to go to Wendover, and play on some cheaper tables. We did all get to play some slot machines though. We had no idea what we were doing. But we each ended up getting the chance to cash out for like $0.25. Wooooooo, big winners. (; 🎰🎰🎰

On Sunday, we went to the other Las Vegas waterpark, Wet N Wild. We needed a day of relaxation after the stress our bodies went through at the concert. The water felt AMAZING. They had this one slide called the Rattler, and it was a blast. All three of us got to sit in a raft, and we'd go down these big hills into these spheres, and just get constantly soaked. We laughed the whole time and loved it. There were a lot of fun slides! And again, hardly any people were there. We also loved lounging in the lazy river, and just relaxing. I'm obsessed with the water and summer and whyyyyyy does it have to get cold.

I could have stayed there all day long. Kena was a little stressed about getting home early enough to get sleep before work, so we ended up leaving at about 3:30. We made record time getting home as well - girl is SPEEDY and it's impressive hahaha. It was a pretty easy ride home. (:

Missing Vegas already this week.... The city is a party and a half. You just gotta know how to do it right (;

Also quotes to remember:

"I'm Logic, and I represent one thing: peace, love and positivity.""That's 3 things..."

*at Kate Spade*"I LOVE THAT BACKPACK""It's $398""Ohhhhh perfectttttt"

*walking past a sunglasses kiosk at Caesar's Palace*"Laddiiesssss, meooooow!""He must know you're a cat person."