#funniest option for them bar none

[jxrmngxndr]

🎲 you know what i gotta do

32. A kiss while someone watches

The lines she pressed into him melded the familiar dichotomy of sharp edges and soft curves, fitting herself into the slight spaces that he left with all the satisfaction of the cat that got the cream, nudging with her nose until his chin dipped downward and their lips met, the press of warm and bright and alive with the immovable chill of him.

It was habit, it was instinct, it was at times the only thing that they could do to keep from feeling so irredeemably alone despite the compound milling with the buzz of life, so distant as to be an erupting supernova in the periphery of their vision as he breathed the powder scent of her skin, in, out.

He could count the beats along with her freckles, along with her eyelashes and the stars in her eyes and his in mirror, but could not have said when his fingertips came up to cradle her elbow as she tugged him downward.

"There you are. Ready to go?"

It was the only voice which could have drawn him back, and the world righted as he stood up straight, out of reach of that warm embrace of sunshine and back into cool indigo familiarity, Mei's eyes creased in amusement, her lips tilted into a smile which held neither malice nor shock, merely curiosity.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," he said to her, drifting away without any further look over his shoulder for Ego.

[strawberryona]

canonical deaths

vesper dies at ~50-60 because of her curse, roan kills himself when vesper dies, seren overdoses at 35ish and no one can tell if it was accidental or suicide.

bryn doesn't have a set-in-stone end because they're not fucked up enough lol. they COULD live to old age and die naturally, they COULD also get themself into a stupid bar fight and die from resulting injuries, they COULD die from lung cancer (which is probably objectively the funniest option. nothing poetic to say just LUNG CANCER).

bryn won't grieve for seren. if anything, they'd grieve for the loss of a convenient person to take out their frustrations on: nobody else will ever measure up to just how much seren enabled bryn. but in the end, they think seren deserved to die painfully and alone. there's no sympathy.

(well... i don't know if i agree with them, but what else could stop seren's pain? they don't want to be saved, and no one wants to save them. it's insanely sad, but what other solution is there, besides death...?)

(this story is not therapist approved. lol)

bryn would at least feel sad when vesper dies. they wouldn't be insanely broken up about it, but they'd at least miss her as a conversation partner - she was pretty fun to talk to about hair/fashion/art. they wouldn't feel much about roan, maybe just a vague sense of absence.

seren doesn't leave behind other friends. roan also doesn't, but there's a large public period of grief from his fans. vesper is pretty sociable, so a few other aristocrats would grieve her, but none of them are real friends. they're just a bit shocked and saddened by her loss.

[manofmanymons]

I love how cute the late chapters of the truthful route are

This is more me rambling than any form of serious post or ~anaylsis~ I'm just replaying the route and constantly sobbing over how adorable they all are

They get along so much better with each other and their partners than at the start or in the routes where bitches be dying and it is very much fun seeing them have so many positive interactions

Even their arguing is more productive barring when Takuma FIRST got back but admittedly that was MOSTLY just Kaito ksksmd like there's a lot more "think we should do this because this" "I see what you mean but also consider—" and a lot less "maybe we should—" "FUCK YOU SHUT UP YOU'RE WRONG"

Super love the scene where Ryo and Kaito are talking to Renamon and at first Takuma freaks out thinking they're gonna start a fight but then Shuuji tells him to calm down and just trust them and they end up just being like "hey what you did sucked but we're on the same side so let's work together" and Takuma is like

Like not even just the fact that those two of all people DIDN'T start shit but the fact that Shuuji wholeheartedly trusted them not to is SO insanely different from early game

Also the fact that after everything they've been through they can even still joke around with each other like there are just so many scenes where they're just being happy and silly in spite of it all

Minoru continuing to piss Ryo off by not treating him like he's older is so funny. Like they also clearly get along way better than before especially since Ryo doesn't take Minoru's dumbassery to heart anymore but that one scene where it was LITERALLY like "it's not what you said it's how you said it" had me dead jdjdnd they are such an old divorced couple. Not an old married couple. An old divorced couple.

I LOVE HOW YOU CAN PLAY TAKUMA AS THE WORST BEST FRIEND EVER AND JUST REPEATEDLY THROW MINORU UNDER THE BUS LIKE WTF MAN I THOUGHT YOU WERE RIDE OR DIE

Also love how pretty much all of them have at least one line that's just something along the lines of "we can do anything if we're together" because you KNOW none of them used to feel that way. Putting up with each other bc safety in numbers to actually genuinely trusting each other and being grateful for each other.

SUPER LOVE WHEN YOU'RE TALKING TO SHUUJI AND TRYING TO REASSURE HIM THAT HE'S NOT TOO MUCH OF A PESSIMIST AND IT'S GOOD THAT HE'S THE WAY HE IS AND IF YOU PICK THE WRONG DIALOGUE OPTION HE'LL JUST LIKE??? OPENLY ADMIT THAT HE KNOWS HE'S NOT THE BEST MAN FOR THE JOB AND THAT AOI AND TAKUMA ARE MORE SUITED FOR IT BUT HE APPRECIATES THAT TAKUMA'S TRYING TO BE NICE

This is turning into a "random scenes I love" post but I love when Minoru calls Kaito weird for being happy about Miu bossing him around and Takuma telling him to knock it off because there's probably more to it than that. Also Minoru being like "dude how can you put up with this" and Kaito being like "how long do you think I've been her brother for" ksjskdn like it is so funny to think that Miu has always been a little dictator and Kaito has always just gone along with it

Also all the kemonogami are precious I mean they're precious in every route but I laughed so hard when I purposely picked a wrong dialogue option and Labramon yelled at Takuma for being stupid ToT

Falcomon and Dracmon kill me every time they're on screen. They're the funniest characters in this whole game. Again I mean they're like that in every route but I think the humor lands better in the route where there's not constant death happening.

Also also I'm sorry but them being afraid of the ghost at the school was so funny to me bc they've MET other ghosts at that point and also the other times they've thought there were ghosts it was just like...a digimon. It's like in ghost game when Kiyo is like AAAAAH GHOST and it's like bitch you KNOW it's a digimon.

Also also also Kaito lying about not being worried about Dracmon bc he doesn't wanna freak Miu or Takuma out but then after getting him back being like I WAS SO SCARED SOMETHING HAPPENED TO YOU

Also also ALSO also Ryo and Shuuji being alive so I can see all their battle lines with the other characters. And how even lines between characters change over time. I actually don't know what all the lines are and if the change is related to the chapter or to the route or to their affinity but I know for a fact that the lines aren't always the same and I am always delighted to see a new one.

ALSOx5 CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW ADORABLE THE MINASE SIBLINGS ARE FOR A SECOND? THEY ARE THE SWEETEST EVER.

Anyways these kids are the cutest friend group when their spirits are not actively being crushed by pointless deaths with no clear end in sight and it's just so nice seeing the kinda people they all are when they're not completely miserable and being pushed to/past their breaking points.

Like truthful may not be the most fun or interesting route but goddamn does it make me happy that the canon path is the one where they're actually allowed to grow and learn and be happy

[birdhaslostit]

🦇💀🕷🕸 What the Lupin Gang would do/wear for Halloween! 🕸🕷🍬🍭

This may be OOC, but it’s Halloween, and nobody is themselves on Halloween. That’s the whole point. It’s time to let loose babey

🎃 Lupin: 

Lupin would wear something suave yet spooky. (A vampire is a tried-and-true option.) Whatever it is, it has to leave some of his face showing- how else is he supposed to woo the ladies at the party? Other costume choices include a pirate captain, Jack Skellington, and a joint costume with Fujiko as Victor and Emily from Corpse Bride.

Lupin has ABSOLUTELY dressed up as Dr. Frank N Furter from Rocky Horror Picture show. Definitely more than once.

Lupin would definitely get WAAAAAAY into Halloween. Like, the first of October, BAM. Orange jacket with a black shirt and an orange tie. He makes all of his October heists Halloween-themed, but he doesn’t steal on Halloween because that’s when he goes ALL. OUT. 

Each year he picks a different city to celebrate in. He spaces out wherever he goes so he doesn’t get caught, but rumors about Lupin spread, so each year people make a guessing game of where he’s gonna go for Halloween. Each year, he picks a hideout in the most popular trick-or-treating area of that city and decks it OUT with Halloween decorations. A large chunk of the decor expenses was probably taken from the Halloween Jacket heists from that year.

Lupin never sends invitations for it though- this is the one time he won’t do it. He insists that it adds to the “illusion of mystique.” He leaves it up to the trick-or-treaters to spread the word. News quickly gets around that the cool house down the street might be Lupin, and without fail, it turns into a block party within the first 2 hours or less.

On Halloween, he gives out candy to literally everyone. He spoils the little kids with king-size candy bars. He encourages the teens to go egg/TP houses of rude people in the area (he staked them out in advance specifically to do this.) He hypes up the costumed adults and hands out Halloween-themed drinks. 

The day after Halloween, the hideout looks deserted, like nobody was ever there. Nobody can ever figure out how he packs it all up so quickly, without anyone noticing. The only thing he leaves, every single time, is a jack-o-lantern with his face on it. 

🎃 Jigen: 

Something classic and/or low-effort. First thing that comes to mind is a werewolf. 

Lupin might bug him about stealing his trademark, but Jigen fits the image better. He’s gruff and hairy and may perhaps shoot you if you make fun of his costume. 

Jigen might also go for a classic Dracula if Lupin isn’t a vampire that year. He’s also been a cowboy several times.

He doesn’t really interact with the crowd unless they come up to him first (which is rare because he doesn’t exactly exude “friendly,” and it’s usually a little kid, because they don’t really notice.) 

If it’s a little kid though, Jigen’s always nice to them. Especially little boys who like his cowboy costume. (He wears that one the most as an excuse to carry his magnum around without people getting suspicious.) He’ll put on the southern drawl and everything. He doesn’t want to break the illusion for a kid, especially not on Halloween.

One time a little boy called him Woody, Lupin overheard, and teased him about it the whole night because he thought it would bug Jigen. Jigen secretly thought it was the funniest/sweetest thing ever, and snuck the kid extra candy in his bucket before he left with his mom. 

Jigen won’t take any crap from teenage trick-or-treaters who are rude. You know, the ones who take too much from the bucket so there’s none left for the little kids. He’ll turn them away at the door. It’s never come down to him having to pull out the Magnum, because his glare alone is enough to scare the crap out of them so they’ll leave. Same goes for tipsy adults who’ve had one too many Halloween-themed drinks and get too rowdy. 

One year Lupin made a joke about how Jigen should give some candy cigarettes out to kids for Halloween, and Jigen shut it down FAST. He doesn’t want to encourage kids to start his bad habit, so he doesn’t smoke around other people at the party, and makes extra sure that kids aren’t around when he does.

One year, Jigen gave out out tiny water pistols with the candy. Lupin got some for him to hand out because they reminded him of Jigen at the store, and even though Jigen brushed it off at the time, he appreciated it.

🎃 Goemon: 

Goemon secretly loves Halloween, but will literally die before admitting it to anyone. It took him a while to warm up to it, though.

He still sticks to tradition- his costumes all have something to do with Japan. Kabuki Ishikawa Goemon is a classic that he returns to often. He’s dressed up as various oni/yōkai/yūrei before, and several figures from Japanese folklore.

Goemon has also been a samurai for Halloween, even though it’s just his regular clothes. It’s for the kids, really- he secretly enjoys the attention.

He will make jack-o-lanterns with Zantetsuken, but only for little kids that he thinks are especially polite. Lupin whines every time because Goemon won’t make him one too.

He always insists on getting Japanese candies for the candy bowl, like Pocky and the various flavored Kit Kats they have in Japan. At first he insisted on more traditional treats, then he realized they might not keep well and opted for these. Plus, it’s for the kids.

He does keep things like konpeitō and wagashi for himself to snack on throughout the night. He’ll share, but the same rule applies as the jack-o-lanterns- only for the super polite kids.

One time Lupin made a bet with Goemon, and if he lost, he had to be a geisha for Halloween.

He lost.

He doesn’t like to talk about it.

Everyone else does, every single year, without fail. 

Goemon has also become the de facto Guardian of the Punch Bowls. Lupin keeps them out for both the trick-or-treaters and the partygoers. One bowl for the kids, and an alcoholic one for the adults. The adult punch is clearly labeled. Now, you should never drink the punch at a party because you don’t know what’s in it, but Lupin is the exception in this regard. No funny business is happening with that punch bowl. And Goemon will make damn sure of that. 

Nobody ever assigned him the position of Punch Bowl Guardian, he just picked it up himself. Before Halloween one year, Lupin was (rightfully) worried at first that someone would try to put something dangerous in it, and was about to opt out of having a communal punch bowl. Then, Goemon spoke up that he had it covered, and thus, he was made the Punch Bowl Guardian.

Nobody has ever tried to spike it with anything, and nobody ever will. Lupin gets to mingle instead of guarding the bowl, and Goemon gets to relax away from the crowd. Everybody wins.

🎃 Fujiko:

If you don’t think Fujiko hasn’t been a Playboy bunny at least once, you’re lying to yourself. She has also been a mouse, à la Mean Girls, and basically a sexy version of anything you can think of. Except for a cop. She wouldn’t stoop that low.

Occasionally, it wasn’t originally supposed to be a sexy version of the outfit/character. Lupin sometimes replaces the original with a raunchier outfit the night before, and waits to see if she notices. 

She always does. 

Sometimes she likes that version better and sticks with it, and if Lupin ever asks about it on Halloween, she denies it all. If she doesn’t like it, she knows that Lupin kept the original and will put it back before she wakes up on Halloween. They’ve been playing this game for years, and there’s never any malice behind it. It’s just their customary brand of Halloween trickery.

One time she planned to dress up as Lupin, purely to see if he’d replace his outfit with a risqué version the night before. 

Of course he did, why would you expect anything less???

She laughed so hard at it that she tripped and fell, and he rushed in to see if she was okay and also to see if she was wearing it because he wanted a peek 

She then made HIM wear it on Halloween, while she wore his regular clothes. He was cool with it, had a blast, got blasted on too many cups of adult punch, and then got a little too into the outfit, so Jigen had to bribe him to take it off at the end of night. 

Her favorite costume that wasn’t ‘edited’ by Lupin is from the year she dressed up as Pops. She swiped it from his disguise collection, and hid it where he wouldn’t find it before he could notice it was gone. Her decoy costume was a bumblebee. She’s just as good at disguises as Lupin is, so when she showed up as Zenigata, Lupin nearly shit a brick. 

Goemon will never let him forget it.

🎃 Zenigata: 

Zenigata probably dresses up as an old-school detective or Sherlock Holmes, which isn’t really too different from his normal attire, but it makes him happy regardless. 

He will not arrest Lupin on Halloween. 

Zenigata knows about the parties, but turns a blind eye to them at this point, because it’s a fruitless endeavor trying to catch a master of disguise on Halloween. He has tried in the past, but only once. When Zenigata first discovered that Lupin threw these parties, he found out where Lupin was on Halloween and came to arrest him. 

He walked up to the hideout and saw Lupin handing out candy to a pair of kids. He couldn’t go through with it, because wouldn’t you know it, their costumes were tiny versions of him and Lupin. 

He immediately did a 180 and started to leave, since Lupin wasn’t technically breaking the law at the time, and he’s a sucker for kids. (He got a little misty-eyed at the sight of a tiny little girl drowning in a trenchcoat that looked just like his, with a pair of cheap plastic handcuffs in the pocket. He’d hate to show it in front of Lupin though.)

Lupin, of course, knew Zenigata was coming before he even arrived, grabbed his shoulder, and stopped him from walking away. The girls were too young to see past Lupin’s costume and had no idea that it was him, and they had assumed that Zenigata was also in costume. Zenigata told them it was really him, and, of course, they are THRILLED.

They ask him about his adventures with Lupin, and he tells them the G-rated versions of the stories. Lupin joins in, after leaving for a ‘bathroom break’ and coming back as himself. The two spend the night answering their questions, telling stories, and doing party tricks. Zenigata shows how quickly he can handcuff Lupin while blindfolded, and Lupin shows how he can dislocate his joints to get out/pick the lock. 

When the girls’ parents show up, they see their kids sitting next to these two adults in the same ‘costumes.’ They seem to be good people, so the parents compliment their costumes and go home with their kids. The girls insist that the two men were the real Lupin and Pops, but the parents brush it off. 

Every year since, Lupin leaves another jack-o-lantern with his face on it besides the one he leaves at the hideout once he’s gone. No matter where the party is, or how far it is from where Zenigata is staying, Pops always gets one too. Usually with a piece of candy next to it, and a calling card for his next, non-Halloween-themed heist.

[plus-size-reader]

Robbing the Cradle

Dean Winchester x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1932 words

Warnings: none 

Summary: Dean falls in love with a younger reader, and really struggles with it.

——————————————————————————————————

Dean had put up a huge fight when it came to you, at least at first. 

He didn’t want to be in love with you, and he didn’t want to admit how happy you made him. He didn’t want to but clearly that didn’t change the fact that he had fallen so deeply in love with you that he couldn’t dig himself out.

You were nothing more than a child, at least as far as he was concerned. You were only twenty-two years old, practically still in pampers and he felt weird about it.

After all, why didn’t you want to be with a man your own age? Didn’t you want to have a normal relationship? Why would you want to be with someone like him when someone better was right around the corner. 

Dean wasn’t the most thoughtful, or well adjusted man in the world, and that wasn’t a secret. 

He knew that there was someone who could be better for you.

Still, you showed no interest in anyone other than him. It shocked the man to his core, that you never once talked about what you were missing out on, or wanting to do anything other than what you were doing. 

He just didn’t get it.

From Dean’s point of view, you should have been desperate to get out and experience life but who better to show it to you than Dean? That was the only thing that you ever said when he brought it up. 

You just didn’t understand how he could ever worry about something like that. After all, how many guys your age were going state-to-state, hunting monsters and saving lives?

Dean Winchester was one in a million...whether he chose to believe it or not.

Take today for example, you had tagged along with Sam and Dean to track down a poltergeist that was committing a series of gory murders in a small town. 

It had been a ridiculously stressful hunt, and it could have been dangerous but you had never felt more alive. You were obsessed with the thrill of the hunt. In fact, there was only one thing you liked more.

...And that was drinking. 

You had learned early on that going to the bar with the guys after a hard case was the best way to unwind. There was honestly nothing like it and you had never passed up a chance to go after everything was over. 

Which was good, considering the fact that Dean also really liked to hit the bar when he was stressed. 

...But he wasn’t the only one. 

There were a ton of guys with really hard lives and things they’re running from. Everyone had things they were trying to forget and liquor just aided in that journey. 

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only thing liquor did. 

It also made some men lose their tact, which with a beautiful woman around, was never good. It was a bad combo and Dean was really figuring that out tonight. 

“What’s wrong Dean?” you wondered, in a sing-song tone, even going so far as to throw your arm over his shoulder casually. 

The action was a little goofy with the slight drinking you’d been doing but you were in no way drunk. 

You had just been trying to get him to play pool for an hour now and tonight he was practically a bump on a log. 

...It was no fun at all. 

Especially not considering how much fun Dean was when he was in a good mood. You just missed it tonight, and you had no idea what was on his mind.

  “Nothing’s wrong, just got a lot on my mind” he tried, but you knew better. 

He may have been older than you but sometimes his pouting made you doubt it. You and Dean had been together for too long for that to work. 

The two of you had nearly died today and all he could think about was the hunt. It was kind of unbelievable. 

However, you were missing the biggest part of this whole thing. You had no idea but you and Dean weren’t alone in your casual affection. At some point, you had caught the attention of a group of strangers. 

...But you hadn’t noticed yet. 

You thought that there was something wrong with you, or that he was bored of your company. 

“Please Dean? Can’t we just play? I wanna have a good time and forget about the monsters” you begged, your voice nothing more than a purr in his ear. You were desperate for a little fun, especially after such a long and stressful day.

Though, you still didn’t know that across the bar stood that group of younger guys, not much older than you are. 

They’d had their eyes on you since you two walked in, and it was really starting to bother Dean.

He couldn’t stand it. 

Dean had been around the block before, and he had been that sort of guy. He knew that they were talking about him, and that they were weighing their options about what their chances were with you. 

They thought that he had robbed the cradle, and they were planning on taking you away from him...and why wouldn’t you go?  They were young, and built and they could offer you the world.  

How was he supposed to compete with that?

“I’m not really in the mood tonight, why don’t you play without me?” he suggested, waving over to the table begrudgingly. He felt bad about it but he just couldn’t fake it tonight. 

These were the sorts of things that really got to him about the age gap that you two had. Other people constantly had their eyes on you, as if you didn’t know what you were missing out on. 

Though, you both knew that wasn’t the case. 

As far as you were concerned, you weren’t missing out on anything, and Dean didn’t ever get that far. He was fully in love with you, and as long as you wanted to be with him, he would take it. 

...But not tonight. 

Tonight, he just needed to sit by himself and stew over everything that was bothering him. 

It was the way the Winchester men dealt with things, and there was nothing he could do to change that. 

You nodded, taking the hint and heading over to the table. Luckily, you were able to reach out to a few people at the pool table and join their game. They were nice, but you found it really hard to take the distraction. 

You were just worried about Dean. 

So worried, in fact, that you completely missed the one brave guy out of the pack who approached you. He had just chugged an entire beer can, and he was feeling on top of the world.

Clearly, that had led him to believe that you wanted anything to do with him. Even if you were putting out every single signal telling him that wasn’t the case.

As far as you were concerned, it didn’t matter if this guy was David Beckham or the queen of England. 

The last thing you wanted right now was for some average Joe to bother you. 

Not that your very clear body language kept him from coming. 

Before you could say or do anything about it, his arm was slung around your shoulder, a clumsy stumble following. He wasn’t smooth by any means, but weren’t too worried about it.

You were a literal monster hunter. You could handle a handsy frat boy that was too far out of his depth. 

Both you and Dean had handled worse. 

“Can I help you?” you wondered, a heavy sigh leaving your lips as you shrugged him off, not even bothering to drop your pool cue. You didn’t imagine this would take too much time at all.

The Bozo to your right only laughed, smiling at you with a lopsided grin. “I was thinking more along the lines of how I could help you” he suggested, the words leaving his throat in a sick tone.

It made you want to be ill. 

This guy was a creep and you knew for a fact that he had nothing to offer you. Though, before you could inform him of that simple fact, an all too familiar hand fell down on his shoulder. 

...Because as it would turn out, Dean couldn’t just sit by and watch.

He knew that you could handle it, but he couldn’t help himself. As much as he tried to stay out of it, it made his blood boil to watch someone paw at you like that. 

It wasn’t in his nature. 

“Is there a problem man?” the younger guy wondered, looking at Dean as if he’d committed some sort of serious offense. If only he knew what he was getting himself into.

You could tell that Dean was doing his best to keep calm, which was good. However, you couldn’t be sure how long that patience would last. 

If you knew anything, it wouldn’t be long at all.

Dean Winchester was a lot of things, but patient wasn’t one of them. 

“No, there’s no problem at all...except for the fact that you’ve got your hands on my girl” he started, his jaw tensed slightly as he addressed the frat boy by your side. 

He seemed just as upset as you could have expected, though he was doing a pretty good job of keeping it hidden. 

“Wait, hold up, this is your girl? Is that what you’re telling me?” the stranger laughed, looking between the two of you with a grin on his face. 

...Obviously that was the funniest thing he’d ever heard, but you didn’t get it.

There was nothing funny about it and as soon as he said it, you found yourself getting angry. Not only was this guy a creep, but he was also gonna question a man like Dean? 

He must have been an idiot. 

However, before you could step up and make that point, Dean stopped you with a calm glance. 

You hadn’t been prepared for that reaction, but Dean had. From the moment that you two started doing this whole thing, he had been waiting for these kinds of reactions. 

A guy like him had no business being with a woman like you, and he knew that. 

“Look man, I get it...but yes, this is my girlfriend and I’d appreciate it if you backed off” he suggested, knowing it wouldn’t go down that easily. Though, he wanted to give this kid a chance. 

After all, he was just a young guy trying to have a good time and Dean understood that, not that he was going to let this whole thing slide if he kept it up. 

...And of course he kept it up. 

“Oh yeah? You’d appreciate it?” he scoffed, glancing down at you. “Can you believe this guy, honey?” he just kept going, laughing. 

You could have killed him. 

There was only one thing that you knew in this moment, and that was that this wasn’t going to end well.

*Bonus* 

“Are you alright baby?” Dean checked, smiling at you in a tired sort of way. It had been a long day, but you nodded, anyway. 

“I’m fine, are you okay though?” you hummed, returning the favor. He seemed alright, but the bruise blooming on his cheek proved potentially different. 

That jerk had got one lick in before Dean knocked him out. 

Little did you know, but in that moment, Dean had actually never been better.

[belliesandburps]

Followup with MGS4 Peace Walker and 5?

History has a funny way of repeating itself. :P

This one's actually gonna be long, so I'll cap it here to spare those uninterested in non-kink posts the burden of having to scroll past this fanboy rant. 'XD

Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots

3. It's Okay

Soooooo...not a controversial opinion to say that I don't think MGS4 is GREAT. I adored it when it first game out, and I still enjoy replaying it from time to time. But good lord, so many of the interviews shed light on a LOT of this games problems.

Some backstory is required. Hideo Kojima was done with MGS by this point. He planned to move on and leave the series to the younger generation. But then, there was a lot of internal conflict and struggle to determine what MGS4 should be after Fukushima quit (AND was rumored to have been murdered by the Yakuza...how that rumor started...and became a SERIOUS rumor that millions believe, I do not know...). So Kojima came back, course corrected, and the end result was kind of a giant mess.

I'm not talking story because, there's just way too much to unpack. But as a game, MGS4 can't decide what sort of video game it wants to be. It had a brilliant idea that had never been done before with its Battlefield Stealth, which were the best parts of the game. And then they get dropped two acts in, and what gets replaced in their stead is not nearly as fun.

The game had substantially less boss fights than its predecessor, and a lot of them were mechanically simplistic or just didn't let you get creative with how you fought them. And we later learned there were a lot more bosses planned, more gameplay sequences planned, and an entire other PMC group that got canned in favor of the Scarabs so Shadow Moses could be guarded by machines instead.

There's a lot about MGS4 that I love. I think the first two acts are amazing, ESPECIALLY Act 2. I think the mechanics are great. REX vs RAY is criminally fun. The sheer buffet of insane weapons gives the game a good amount of replay value. And the graphics still hold up to this day!

But what I finally realized is that the game juggles way too many ideas and doesn't give any idea the time they deserve to flourish. Battlefield Stealth could've CARRIED MGS4. But it gets dumped before we can get our moneys worth. A disguise sequence could've been really creative, having to juggle different identities with OctoMask every time one identity is burned. But it's only used once and wasted because it's only used for a terrible tailing mission that doesn't let you actually explore the European City. And too many of the action set pieces are kind of bland except the bosses and piloting Metal Gear.

MGS4 should've been MGS4. Not MGS's "Best Hits."

Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker

1. LOVED it!

I know this is unpopular to say, but I'll say it. Peace Walker is one of the best Metal Gear games ever made. I adored almost everything about it. The gameplay improves on MGS4 in most ways because it doesn't juggle a billion ideas all at once. It's MGS4 stripped down to stealth action from start to finish, and that's all I wanted. The level design is great. The insane volume of guns changes the entire feel of combat in later post-campaign gameplay. The mission select options mean you can jump into all the parts of the game you enjoy the most. There's TONS of bonus missions that are really inventive and fun to replay. And the story is one of the best in the series. It's straight forward, very tight, characterized well, and is the best iteration of Big Boss to date.

Peace Walker's also the FUNNIEST MGS game by Kojima as well. There's so much more personality and levity to everything, to the point where Big Boss often feels like an MCU character. That might sound bad, but it's really not. That corniness fits MGS PERFECTLY, and I'd argue is tonally spot on for this series. MGS doesn't need to be dark, gory or explicit. It's a silly series that's about giant robots, corny bad ass super agents with an anti-nuke message.

The only downsides to Peace Walker are the QTE's and the boss fights. This was a feature that only ever appeared in this game and for good reason...it was fucking terrible. So basically, you had cutscenes that forced you to do various QTE's or else get dinged on your ratings at the end, even if you played perfectly. Fairly minimal, but then, you get to Strangelove's torture. And this is the single most rage-inducing part of any MGS game ever made. It's an insanely physically painful button mashing sequence that will leave your fingers raw and your PS3 triangle buttons jamming. And the ONLY way you can replay one of the best missions in the game (the prison escape where you have no items) is by redoing that sequence over and over. And the boss fights? While inventive, they're all just grindy bullet sponges with no personality, no stealth tactics, and no room for creativity the way you can get creative with every other MGS game's bosses. This was the biggest disappointment for me because the stealth and combat mechanics of PW are great and would've been SO good against human enemies like what Portable Ops had. Instead, every boss is a mini-Metal Gear all voiced by the VOCALOID AI from the mid 2000's, and each one takes forever to destroy. It sucks because PW had a TON of bosses, but only a few of them are any fun, and that's only if you have weapons that are strong enough that they don't take ages to destroy.

But asides from the bosses, the REST of the game is so damn good that I don't even care because that's just one element to a much larger, grander game. Which is even more impressive when you consider PW was originally on the PSP before the PS3 port. And this game has more content and replay value to it than most games I've played since.

Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain

1. LOVED it!

Hooooooookay...so, I've rambled about my storybook romance with MGSV for YEARS now. (Just ask @twistedtummies2, he's been subjected to my fanboying of this game more than anyone in existence XD) But there's a reason I regard this game as one of my all time favorites and the best MGS game to date.

It's REALLY freakin' fun.

Kojima had been re-energized by the time he got to MGSV. He'd been working on the game around the time he finished Peace Walker in 2010. He KNEW it was his final MGS game and wanted to do something completely different...

...He wanted to make a game where the central focus was on...waaaaait for it...the gameplay...

MGSV was designed to be, what he described, as a toybox. You have these missions that all take place in structurally unique outposts like any level in MGS. And the missions are designed with the structure needed so that they all feel different, but all remain so open ended that you can play them countless different ways.

MGSV's game model is everything GTA SHOULD'VE been. It fully embraces the open world freedom and incorporates that into the missions flawlessly. And it plays in such a way that stealth and combat both feel like they were the primary point. In MGS, combat is usually a last resort. But with MGSV, you can fly into an outpost blasting away on your helicopters mini-gun, shoot up the bad guys, rescue your target, throw them back into the chopper and fly away while "The Final Countdown" blares on your choppers loud speakers.

Every method of gameplay is valid and the controls, the enemy AI responsiveness, it's all, bar none, the best I've experienced in ANY video game. Sneaking around feels tight and tense and combat makes you feel like Jack Bauer on adrenaline. (I mean, he IS the voice of Venom Snake)

And I really like the story for the most part too. Its weaknesses are really glaring. Namely, the "Fun" of MGS is completely devoid in the story (which is really odd since it's FRONT AND CENTER in-game). Venom Snake only has maybe six minutes of dialogue in the entirety of this 30+ hour long game. And the way Skull Face gets completely undercut right at the home stretch is something I have NOT stopped bitching about for almost six years, and my friends can personally attest to that.

That and the ending feels too abrupt.

We know that Kojima got fired by Konami's VP and said VP scorched the entire production company after that and made a series of dickheaded decisions that pissed off a LOT of fans, burning much of the good will Konami IP fans had towards the company. But that had nothing to do with MGSV's abruptness. That was the plan from the start because only Kojima would think to end the entire series on a plot twist like that.

And I think the issue isn't the twist at all. In fact, I LOVE the twist. The issue is that the game should've continued beyond it so Venom Snake could cope with the truth and realize how badly he'd been screwed. I think even people who hated the twist could've been won over if there was a little more to the games epilogue than Episode 46.

Also, the games boss fights were a tad underwhelming. Not the fights themselves, I LOVED all five of the games bosses.

Oh? There were twelve?

No. I meant what I said. Because so many of the games bosses are rematches against the same bosses. All MGSV has is the Skulls, Quiet, Eli, The Man on Fire, and Metal Gear. They're great bosses that do everything the best MGS bosses always did; give you tons of options, incorporate combat AND stealth, have varied attacks AND even have multiple methods to sneak around the boss and avoid the fight completely. But for a game as long as MGS, you need more variety. And frankly, the bosses NEED more personality. Skull Face should've had more XOF assassins acting as the bosses in the game along with the ones we have. Elite assassins like Quiet, with their own powers and specialized weaponry so the fights feel completely different from the ones we have. And oh yeah, SKULL FACE HIMSELF SHOULD'VE HAD A GOD-FUCKING-DAMN BOSS FIGHT!!!!

Buuuuuuut those issues don't even matter if for all the games issues, I still replay it frequently when it's almost six years old.

So yeah! There's the massive rant you totally didn't ask for! :D

[misseffect]

VIDEO GAME TAG

Me: gets tagged

Also me: immediately forgets every video game i've ever played

Thanks to @thealexmachina for this - it made me think about games I haven't thought about in years! Tagging @shepgarrus @zaeedmassanis & @garriante (but only if you fancy it).

Games

First game you ever played: oh boy, probably Monsters Inc on GBA. I'm a woman of culture, you see.

Favorite game: LoZ: Twilight Princess. It was the first game I'd played with a story that utterly hooked me. And my first LoZ title.

Game you’ve played through multiple times: Lego Star Wars. BF is making me watch the prequels atm and I keep recognising rooms from the games. If they just smash up those chairs they'll get some studs and an extra heart.

Game you hated at first but now love: Shadow of Mordor. Hate is a strong word. Didn't care for it initially and it's not normally my type, but it was actually a lot of fun.

Game you used to love but now hate: Okami. It's beautiful and the mechanics are cool, but there's this stupid fucking digging mini game that I just cannot beat. Non-optional mini games can eat my whole ass. I put it down last year in a rage and never picked it back up.

Your favorite game atmosphere/setting(s): RDR2. Rockstar's worldbuilding is second to none - the dialogue, the locations, the horses, the little bits of lore scattered through the world for you to find. Stunning. Very close second goes to BotW because the peaceful post-apocalypse vibe is really refreshing. And it also has horses.

A game with your favorite ending: LA Noire. Sometimes shit's broken and people are difficult and the bad guys get away with it, and there's nothing you can do about it but god damnit do we we try anyway. That final sequence in the sewers was some high-octane shit.

A game with the WORST ending: obligatory Mass Effect 3. Otherwise, Skyrim because it just never fucking ends. 100+hrs in and you're a Dragonborn Arch-Mage Dark Brotherhood assassin vampire Nightingale warewolf who could kill a Giant with a sneeze but half the quests are broken so you can't bloody finish anything properly.

Best character customization?: New Horizons. Fight me.

Hero and Companions

Your favorite playable character: FemShep, obviously. Corvo from Dishonoured is also very cool.

The funniest playable character: ooh that's a tough one. Arthur from RDR2 doesn't get enough credit imo. He's a funny dude.

Your favorite companion(s): Midna from Twilight Princess. The bit after the water temple where she gets hurt you have to take her to Hyrule Castle in the dark and the rain? Yeah. Honourable mention to Wrex from ME and Bekowsky from LA Noire. We only get them both as actual companions really briefly which a shame.

Companions you could live without: Thane. Sorry buddy, I just didn't care about you at all.

Relationships

Favorite game friendship(s): Arthur and Lenny from RDR2. FemShep and Ashley are hugely underrated in the fandom imo - there's a scene in the Citadel DLC where you both get hammered and start a bar fight. Just gals bein dudes. Also Phoenix and Maya from the Ace Attorney series for the 10/10 sibling dynamic and found family wholesomeness.

Favorite game relationship(s): Shepard and Garrus because I'm always a slut for relationships built on a foundation of mutual trust and respect. Also the one in Transistor. You know the one.

Favorite companion banter: gotta be the OG Mass Effect alien squad - Garrus, Wrex, Tali and Liara. I love how their interactions evolve through the games.

A relationship you weren’t sure of but loved: Alistair and the Warden. They got off on the wrong foot initially in my first Origins play-through but he's a sweetheart really.

A minor character you wish could be a companion: every Star Wars game should have a Gonk Droid companion option and that's the tea.

A character you wish you COULD romance: Morrigan. You expect me to believe the swamp witch is straight? Please.

Fun

Shoutout to a random NPC: ISAAC NEWTON IS THE DEADLIEST SONOFABITCH IN SPACE.

A game you love watching playthroughs for and want to play: the Uncharted series. I'd give anything for a PC port, Sony. ANYTHING.

Love watching playthroughs but won’t ever play: literally any horror game. Until Dawn, Dead Space, etc. But even then I never watch them full screen and usually only have one headphone on.

Online gaming or solo?: Solo. The only online game I really play is GTA V because I don't have friends.

Why do you play video games?: I don't read a lot at the moment so they get me my fiction fix, and games like Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley are thereputic. And I just think they're neat.

[artificialqueens]

Hot as Hell and No A/C, Chapter 3 (Branjie)- Blackhighheels

(Read at AO3)

Three

Jose knows it might not be the best idea to come to this run down bar, but he is bored and he needs a drink. Since he left Los Angeles he hasn’t been to any clubs or bars and this shack is the only thing nearby in the middle of motherfucking nowhere.

The offer is somewhat limited and so he orders a whiskey, since that seems to be the only thing they have beside shots and beer. He remains sitting at the bar and the woman behind it, Lindsey, is a hoot and he likes talking to her. From what she’s telling him she used to be the queen bee around here, about forty years ago, until she got pregnant too young and out of wedlock and found herself working in this bar to keep a roof over her head and care for her son.

He’s so engrossed in Lindsey’s stories that it takes him a while to realise that a couple of guys by the pool table are talking about him. The words ”Faggot”, ”Gay” and ”cocksucker” are a dead give away and he doesn’t think they’d say that about anyone but him around here.

”Hey, assholes! Got a problem with my gay ass?” He yells at them. It might be the alcohol or simply his frustration about the town and what it does to people, but he isn’t willing to just take it and keep him mouth shut. And he’s not afraid of them. He’s had his share of fights in his life, both because of the area he grew up in and also because of him being so obviously gay.

The four men, or boys, come closer and he can already smell the cloud of beer that surrounds them.

”Did you faggot just call us assholes?”

”If you’re the assholes who just talked smack about me, then yeah, I did.” He turns around in his bar stool and is glad that it gives him a bit of a height advantage.

”You better watch your mouth you filthy cocksucker.”

”Mmmh…. Sucking dick’s only filthy when it’s done right. You ever tried it?”

Jose expects a punch or kick, maybe something thrown his way. He doesn’t expect one of the guys spitting right into his face.

”Guys like you are dirt and god will take care of you,” the smallest one says. He seems to be believer amongst them.

Jose doesn’t want to talk anymore though. They just spit at him. He’s done talking. Before the god-fearing idiot has even finished speaking, Jose smacks the fucker who spit at him right across the face with the back of his hand.

”Imma end you, you motherfuckers. No one spits at me, bitch! You got hands, show me! Show me!” he yells, as blood drips from the drunken teenager’s nose.

”Hey!” Lindsey grabs him from behind. ”No fights in my bar. House rule. If you really wanna beat each other up, take it outside. But I’d advise all of y’all to just leave it. You four shouldn’t even be in here or drinking, and you,” she turns to Jose ”better not make more enemies than necessary while ya here. This is a small town.” Jose looks at the four teenagers in front of him, then throws a couple of dollars on the bar and leaves. So much for grabbing a drink and enjoying a night out.

***

Brock walks out of the stable when he hears a voice he would recognise everywhere. He also knows the car parked in their driveway.

”Fuck,” he curses quietly and hurries towards the house, wiping his hands on an old rag as panic settles in his stomach. This can’t be happening! Also, he is painfully aware that his hair is a mess, he is sweaty, dirty and his clothes are stained. Usually when he sees Jose, he at least gets a chance to shower beforehand.

For the last two weeks Jose has driven Rachel and him home after each dance practise. Sometimes they stop for ice cream or food on the way back. Brock is aware that Jose only makes little bets with Rachel, bets he always loses, and then has to invite them to whatever it is he promised her. Brock wouldn’t be able to buy ice-cream and take-out three or four times a week for three people.

The time he spends with Jose and Rachel has become the highlight of his life. He doesn’t mind walking half an hour to a dance studio and then watch for nearly two hours in the overheated studio as his niece prances around the room with other girls. The short drive back with Jose makes it all worth while.

He is the funniest and kindest guy Brock’s ever met. It feels a bit like having a friend, a real friend for once, and Jose is probably the only person he can really be himself with. He can giggle when he feels like it, talk with his hands and even admit that he likes colourful sprinkles on top of his ice-cream.

However, none of it explains why Jose is here now, parked in front of his parents’ house. It’s already too late, Brock realises when he makes his way around the front-porch and find both his mother and father standing on the porch talking to Jose.

”Aw, that’s too bad you can’t tell me. Thought I’d save them the long walk, now that I’m in town anyway.”

”Sorry, we can’t help ya,” his father says in a brusk tone.

”Ok, never mind. Thanks anyway,” Jose turns around to leave. That’s when he spots Brock. Immediately Jose’s face lights up. He is looking really good today, wearing a white wife-beater, a short black and red flannel shirt and tiny black  shorts. ”Hey Brock!”

”Hello,” Brock replies as neutral as possible and it takes a lot not to return the smile. He is very aware that his parents are watching their interaction with stony expressions. ”What are you doing here?”

”Thought I’d ask you and Rachel if I should drive you to dance practice today. I have to take care of some shit here in town and could take you back with me. Don’t think ya got your car fixed yet, huh?” Jose still smiles and casually leans against his Porsche. He looks like someone straight out of an ad or a tv show. Already Brock’s stomach tightens because he knows what he has to do.

”I’m sorry Sir, but that’s not necessary. Rachel and I can manage on our own. Thank you for the kind offer though,” he declines and watches the smile melt off Jose’s face when the icy tone of Brock’s voice registers with him.

”Brock! You know him?” His mother asks. She sounds surprised. What did she think? That some stranger would just show up and offer driving him and Rachel?

”This is Jose. He is Rachel’s dance teacher for the next couple of weeks. Jason hurt himself.” He informs both of his parents.

”You done with the hay?” His father stops any further explanation.

”No, not yet. I just heard voices and thought I’d check on ya.”

”I don’t need ya checking, that’s what we got guns for. I need ya working!” His father barks.

”I better get going,” Jose says quietly and his eyes appear to be so large and defeated that Brock nearly drowns in them.

”Thank you again for the offer but we can manage,” he says and softens his tone. He doesn’t want to decline. If he had a choice, he’d gladly drive around in Jose’s car all day and talk to him about everything and nothing. But it’s not an option he has.

He can’t move, he can’t do anything when he watches Jose get into the car and then drive off, leaving dust and a hint of cologne in the air.

”Don’t ya have work to do?!” his father asks him from the porch and snaps him out of his daze. Quickly he hurries back to the stable to work, to hide and to hopefully forget about the scene he was just a part of. He swallows a couple of times to keep the tears inside that his stupid overly emotional heart wants him to cry for how he just treated Jose.

***

”Care to tell us what that guy wanted today?” Brock’s father asks as soon as he sits down at the table for lunch.

”I told you, he’s Rachel’s dance teacher and I know nothing more than you do. He wanted to drive us to her dance class.”

”How’d he know your car’s broken?”

”We were late a couple of times,” Brock sighs and takes a piece of bread, rips a piece off and stuffs it in his mouth so the words he really wants to speak won’t burst out.

”I don’t like ya hanging with that folk! It’s bad enough that Ada allows Rachel to take dance lessons at that place. You being around these faggots a couple o’times a week… ya know what the people in town gonna say if they see this gay guy here? Ya know what the minister’s gonna say? You stay away from them, ya hear me!” His father is basically yelling at this point.

”I take Rachel to dance class because no one else has the time to do so, not because I wanna hang out there. I don’t know this guy any better than I know Jason, so what’s the big deal? He is a good teacher and Rachel likes him.”

”Stop eating before we said grace!” His father slaps the bread out of his hand, which drops to the floor. ”And Rachel shouldn’t be anywhere around these faggots, this music or these whore dance moves! It’s not right! Their lifestyle and everything they do’s offensive to the lord and every god fearing Christian. They don’t belong here and I want none of my family have anything to do with them. If you wanna hang out with these sinners you get your ass out of my house and better never come back.” Now his father is really yelling.

”How else is Rachel supposed to get there? By the time the lessons are done it’s dark out. It’s too far for her to go on her own. It’s not safe!”

”If I had a say in it she wouldn’t go there at all! But ya sister is letting her kids do whatever! If she lets them run with the wrong crowd, they should know what’s waiting for them!”

It’s nothing Brock hasn’t heard before. It’s nothing he hasn’t seen or felt before. He knows if he speaks another word now the fight will most likely become physical. Brock has never raised a hand against his father, but for a while now he’s taken to defending himself and his mother when the beer gets to his father’s head again.

He hates how he judges Jose without even knowing him. He even hates him for judging Jason. For a split second he wants to scream at him that he’s a sinner himself, gay like them and that even all the beatings he got as a child and teenager didn’t take it out of him.

Then he glances at his mother and her wide, scared eyes let him bite his tongue and lower his head. ”I’ll tell Ada I can’t take Rachel anymore.” He leans over and picks the bread up off the floor and uses the second to wipe his face clean of any emotion. Fury is still burning in his gut, nearly making him sick as he swallows it down and nearly chokes on it.

This is not the time though, not the time to risk it all for nothing. Jose will be gone again in about three weeks and their tentative friendship will become only a memory. What does it matter if he stops it all now, goes back to life how it was before Jose got here and starts living his harsh reality again three weeks earlier? His father probably just saved him a lot of pain and heartache. Brock knows that Jose and his friendships means too much already and he’s gotten too used to it.

”Good. Brock, can you say grace?” His mother ends the discussion with a grateful look and Brock knows he’s made the right decision.

***

”Hey, uncle Brock,” Rachel greets him after the mass on Sunday, when they are all still standing in front of the church.

”Hey honey,” he smiles.

”Can you take a look at my bike? The breaks’ not working and mommy can’t fix it,” she asks him and of course Brock follows her to her bike on the other side of the lawn. He doesn’t care that his good pants get dirty as he kneels down beside the small bike. It’s more important that his niece has a functioning bike, now that she has to ride it to dance practise and back. Brock doesn’t like it. He worries about her constantly, but there is nothing he can do.

”It’s just a bit loose, honey, that’s easily fixed,” he assures her.

”Thank you!”

”Do your lights work? I don’t like you riding your bike in the dark after practise, so we have to make sure at least these are working.”

”Can I tell you a secret?” Rachel whispers after checking that they are alone.

”Always.”

”I’m not driving back on my bike. Vanjie takes me until we reach our house and then waits with the lights turned off until he knows I’m safely inside.”

Brock feels a warmth spreading through him that nearly knocks him on his ass. He grasps the bike to keep his balance. He should have known Jose would make sure Rachel is safe. It’s so much like him that Brock feels like weeping. It’s only been three days, but he already misses their talks so much and hearing about how he cares for his niece only makes him miss Jose more. If only he could just talk to him sometimes.

”That’s very nice of Vanjie. He’s a very good guy,” Brock tells her just as quietly as she told him her secret.

”Then why do you hate him?”

”What? What makes you think I hate him?” he asks surprised and slowly gets up.

”Vanjie asked why you not taking me anymore and if you’re sick or something. I told him ‘bout the stuff grandpa said and that you can’t take me ‘cause they’re offensive and sinners and you don’t wanna be around him and can’t be his friend.”

Brock nearly crumbles to the ground for real this time. ”Rachel, how do you know about that talk?”

”I wanted to see you but then I heard the yelling through the open window and ran off. I don’t like grandpa when he’s mean like that.”

He takes a deep breath and runs his hands through his curls. There are so many things wrong with what Rachel just said and what she overheard. But there are also things he can maybe fix.

”Honey, I don’t agree with grandpa. Vanjie is a very good and nice guy and don’t let anyone tell you anything else about him or Jason, ok? ” Rachel nods her head. ”The only reason why I’m not taking you anymore is because grandpa gets very upset about these things and he’s scared that people will say mean things about me in town.”

”Like the things they say about Jason?”

”Yeah, like that. And he doesn’t want that for me or any of us. And I don’t want to make grandpa angry.”

”Uncle Brock? I like Jason and Vanjie.”

”That’s good. Make sure you tell them. They sure need to hear it.” He strokes his hand over Rachel’s strawberry blond hair.

”Will you tell them, too? Vanjie was really sad that you not there anymore. He said, he thought you was his friend.”

”I’ll tell him,” Brock agrees.

”Promise?” Rachel goes in for the kill.

”Promise,” he says and knows he now really doesn’t have choice but to talk to Jose. Rachel will know.

***

He waits until his parents are in bed and then sneaks outside to the orchard behind their house. It’s far enough so he won’t be overheard, dark enough so he won’t be seen and close enough to the cellphone tower so he’ll have reception.

Jose has given him his phone number the first week, but he has never used it and he hasn’t given him his own. It simply hadn’t been necessary. Jose said to use the number if he needed a ride or if Rachel couldn’t come to practise. Brock had no such excuse for giving him his number.

He takes a couple of deep breaths and then finally brings his thumb down on the dial button.

”Hello?” Jose picks up after only a couple of rings.

”Hey, uhm, it’s me, Brock,” he stutters and feels stupid already.

”What’d ya want, Sir?” Jose’s tone is snide and Brock knows he deserves it.

”Rachel told me she talked to you and I think I need to clear some things up.”

”You made it more than crystal yourself what you really think about me. Ya don’t need to drag Rachel into this.”

”I’m not! I just think, like… it’s not what it seems.”

”So you not avoiding me like the plague ‘cause your father’s a bigot asshole who thinks just talking to me will sully your reputation?” Jose is yelling at him through the phone, then he suddenly stops. When he continues his voice carries the hurt he must be feeling. ”God, I hate this motherfucking town and all of y’all religious lying assholes.”

”I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry. You’re so nice to Rachel and to me and helped us out so much and just…I’m sorry.”

”If you’re really sorry you’d have come here and told me this shit in person like a man. But I guess you just as much of a weaselly liar as the rest of these fucked up wanna be cowboys in this town. Grow up, start thinking for ya’self and learn how to make an apology real.”  Jose hangs up on him and Brock stares disbelievingly at his phone.

At first he is shocked and sad. He’s just lost the only friend who really knew him. Not only that, but he also thinks badly about him now. How can he think that Brock agrees with his father? He must know that he doesn’t have a choice, right? He thought Jose knows… That’s when Brock gets angry himself. He is so sick of all of these people and their opinions about him and his life and what he is supposed to do and to think. He’s used to it from his family and the town and the parish. But Jose? How dare he!

Before he really knows what he is doing, he has run inside, grabbed his mother’s car keys and is on the way to the dance studio. Jose wants him to talk to him in person? He can have it!

***

Brock bangs on the front-door and his hand is still in the air when the door is ripped open.

”What the fuck are you doing here, bitch?”

”You told me to talk to you in person, didn’t you?” Brock raises his voice as well.

”Aaaah and of course the good little christian boy always does what he is told,” Jose sneers. For a second Brock wants to punch him. Instead he pushes past him into the apartment. Jason or whoever else is around, really doesn’t need to hear this conversation.

Jose lets the door falls shut and crosses his arms over his chest. ” Say what you gotta say, then leave.”

”Why are you acting like this?”

”Acting? Acting bitch! Imma show you who’s acting! You lucky I’m not kicking your ass right now for pretending to be my friend, acting all nice and cute while we eating ice cream and then you suddenly stabbing me in the back, pretending you don’t fucking know me and stop talking to me without any explanation. I don’t need any more backstabbing hoes in my life.”

”Do you have any idea what my father would have done, if he knew we were hanging out after dance practice? If he knew we were so much as talking on the regular? I don’t know who he would have shot first, you or me!”

“I’m not scared of your asshole father. I don’t give a shit about him! But I give a shit about loyalty. And you not who I thought you were! You not fucking loyal! If you’d been at that fucking bar last week, you’d have spat on me too and tried to beat me up, just ‘cause you scared of your father. You pathetic!” Jose is full on screaming at him now.

”So you got a taste of what it’s like to live here for one night? Do you know what it’s like to live here every fucking day of your fucking life? When they beat me up as a kid ‘cause I was too girly, my dad beat me up again when I got home. They threw rocks at me, spat at me and slapped me all the way through school. I couldn’t tell my parents, the teachers didn’t care and I didn’t even understand what the fuck was wrong with me!” Brock starts pacing in the small living room.

”You’re the only person who knows. The only person who knows that I’m…” he can barely get the word over his lips. ”…that I’m gay.” There, he’s said it out loud for the first time in his life. Well, yelled it at Jose. ”And you know what happens when that gets out? When only a rumour will spread? What you experienced at the bar will be my life every fucking day and worse. My parents will kick me out, I’ll lose all of my family and I’ll have nothing, NOTHING left. Maybe that’s what I deserve for being that way, maybe that’s really god’s way of punishment. But I’d rather live a lie every day for the rest of my fucking life than to lose the little I have left.” Tears are dripping from Brock’s chin by the end of his confession. He’s laid it all out now to Jose, a guy he barely knows and just because he’s the first one who has shown him any kindness. Fuck! What if… what if he tells people? What if he is so angry he will take revenge and..

”Hey, it’s ok. I understand,” Jose is suddenly standing in front of him and places his hands on his upper arms. That’s when Brock realises he’s shaking. ”It’s ok.” Jose tries to wipe his tears away with the back of his hands, but they fall faster than he can wipe them off. ”Come here, boo, sit down. You still shaking like a fucking tree,” he says. Brock has to laugh about the mishap.

”Leaf,” he corrects through his tears and hiccups.

”Smart ass. Imma get you some water,” Jose smiles and disappears for a moment, before he comes back with a bottle of water and some tissues. Brock takes the water and drinks it down, before he accepts the tissues and dries his face and his eyes.

He feels stupid now for getting so upset, for crying, for yelling all of his secrets at Jose and for coming here in the first place. ”I’m sorry, I shouldn’t…” he starts but Jose stops him.

”You know what, boo? You look like you need a hug. That ok?” Jose asks him with a tender and worried look.

”I’m not good at hugging,” Brock shrugs self-deprecatingly and looks down.

”You lucky, ‘cause I’m the best at giving hugs.” A moment later Jose slowly pulls him in his arms and hugs him tightly. It’s a strange feeling for Brock and he can’t remember when he has ever hugged anyone other than his sister or his nieces and nephews. Then however, he slowly relaxes against Jose’s warm body and lets the last couple of tears fall.

So this is what it feels like, he thinks. It’s nice and soothing, comfortable and exciting. He feels safe and cared for. Jose starts running his hands up and down his back and if Brock could, he would start purring like his favorite kitten. He closes his eyes and enjoys the feeling.

After a while, he turns his head, his nose bumps against Jose’s neck and the scent of cologne gets stronger. Jose’s hand slides up his neck and into his hair. When Brock looks up and their eyes meet, it only takes a split second and then Jose brushes his lips against his. It’s not even a peck, more like a butterfly like touch, but Brock wants more. He stops thinking as he leans up and captures Jose’s mouth in a soft kiss.

When he pulls back his brain suddenly starts working again and he jumps back. ”Oh my god!” he covers his tingling lips with his hand and stares at Jose.

”Please tell me that’s not been your first kiss,” Jose begs, equally wide eyed.

”No! But.. Like… we can’t do this. I can’t..not… here… I’m…”

”It’s ok, Brock. It don’t gotta mean nothing. You can go back to ignoring me now. I get it, I promise. No hard feelings.” The hurt in Jose’s voice tells Brock something else though.

”I don’t wanna ignore you.” He tells him honestly. ”But I can’t… do this here. It’s too risky.”

”Alright. Friends then?” Jose smiles.

”Friends,” Brock nods. ”Just… no one can know.”

”‘Cause I’m too fucking gay for this town, I know, Miss Thing. Then you better get your secretly gay ass outta here, before anyone sees you.” The words are harsh, but the smirk on Jose’s face and the hug he gives him, let Brock know he really means it.

”We could get ice cream again some time?” Brock suggests when he is already halfway out the door.

”Text me tomorrow if you still feeling that typa way and we can do that.” They smile at each other for a moment and if Brock wasn’t such a coward he’d kiss him again. Instead he quickly leaves and vows to himself that he will text Jose in the morning and make sure he won’t lose the only friend who now really knows all of his dirty secrets and still likes him. Despite it all. Maybe because of it.

TBC

[stvrgrs-archive]

Part 2/3 of my gift to @ishipallthings as part of the @3490fest

(part 1, part 3)

For the prompt: 5 Secrets Steve Rogers Learns About Natasha Stark + 1 Secret She Learns About Him

Huge thank you to @fanfictiongreenirises for the beta!

Hope you like it :)

3k, tw implied alcoholism, on Ao3

5 Secrets Steve Rogers Learns About Natasha Stark + 1 Secret She Learns About Him

1. She never learned to ride a bike

The silence in the garage seems to reverberate as everyone stares at Tasha. She stares back at them and Steve can see her shrink back; it’s minuscule, but still, he notices. He tries to ignore the fact that the reason he notices is not, in fact, down to his naturally acute observational skills, but rather something with a bit more personal motivation.

Oh well.

As he and the other Avengers stare, Tasha shifts where she stands next to the gleaming hot rod red motorcycle, and he winces internally at how uncomfortable they were probably making her.

Way to charm your crush, Rogers.

He tries to relax and shrugs, turning around to fiddle with his own bike, trying desperately to come up with something to say to put her at ease. Unfortunately, Clint beats him to the punch.

“The great Natasha Stark doesn’t know how to ride a bike? Like, a regular ass two wheel bike?”

Natasha huffs and glares at him, shoulders hunched in slightly.

“It’s not that I don’t know how to ride a bike – I just never have.”

Clint just looks at her and raises an eyebrow.  

“Alright, genius, billionaire, philanthropist, whatever; suit yourself.”  

Steve can see Tasha’s eyes flash defensively and steps between them.

“Hey, no one,” he pauses to glare at Clint, “is judging you. At all. We’re all a bit surprised is all. But really, none of us care.”

Wait.

“Wait. I don’t mean we don’t care, I just mean that it’s fine, obviously, that you can’t – or, that you’ve never ridden a normal bike.”

Tasha just stares at him, eyes slightly narrowed as she probably figures out whether he’s being sincere or not.

Steve tries not to fidget.

“Right, yeah, I don’t care anyway,” she mutters as she turns to fiddle with her own bike.

Everyone looks at each other, awkward and unsure until silence’s reign ends as they begin to shuffle into the elevator and murmur to each other, each visibly trying not to look back and stare.

Even as the doors slide shut, Steve can still practically reach out and push at the tension. He lingers as he tries to think of some way to make Natasha feel better, hating to leave things like this, and eventually blurts out the best thing he can think of.

“I can teach you.”

Natasha stops and turns slowly, frowning up at him.

Steve tries not to notice how attractive every expression seems to be on her.

“What?”

“I could teach you,” Steve repeats, “you know, to ride a bike.”

In the silence that follows, Steve realises how stupid he must sound. For god’s sake, this is Natasha Stark; she revolutionises the world practically daily – she doesn’t need him to ride a goddamn bike; hell, she doesn’t need to ride a bike, period.

What the hell was he thinking.

“I’m sorry, that was– stupid. I just thought, well, you don’t know and–” He stops, mentally kicking himself with each word.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you.”

He turns to go and is almost at the elevator so he can go lick his wounds in private when Natasha calls out.

“Actually, that’d be nice.”

He looks back and she’s smiling; it’s small and slightly lopsided, but it’s there and he helped put it there. He feels his embarrassment fade slightly.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

It’s not quite a date, but he still counts it as a win.

2. Her first kiss was with Janet Van Dyne

It’s after they’ve spent the afternoon racing each other through the park on cheap bikes that Tasha rented that they find themselves sitting round a wobbly wooden table in some poky bar, joined by Jan and Sharon. The smell of beer permeates the walls and everyone’s lax and loose after several shots have been downed.

Natasha has her arm hooked around Jan’s shoulders and he tries his best to firmly curb the jealousy crawling up his throat. He’s here with Sharon after all and suspects this might be the latest in Tasha’s attempts to get him laid, which she insists is vital to his acclimatisation to the 21st century. Hence, a cleverly arranged double date; not badly done, he must admit.

“Alright,” Tasha announces, lifting another shot, “truth or dare!”  

Sharon and Jan cheer and he smiles, preparing himself for whatever drunk shenanigans await.

“Steve, Captain, Spangles, mi amore; the million dollar question: truth,” she leans across the table and points her glass at him, “or dare.”  

Steve smiles indulgently and weighs up his choice. Drinking games – especially those involving Natasha – he has learned, are not something to be taken lightly. “Truth,” he responds, deciding it the somewhat safer option.

She frowns at him, apparently struggling to think through whatever they’re drunk on, and after several moments of silence, announces, “Who-” hic “was your first kiss?”

Steve smiles, amused. He’s learned that drunk Natasha is either shop talk at a million miles an hour or a 14 year old at a sleepover. Tonight is apparently the latter.

“Everyone knows it was Peggy, Tash.”

“But do we really know? You and Barnes weren’t unloading your guns, if you know what I mean.”

Steve snorts at the terrible innuendo and the equally terrible eyebrow wiggle Tasha follows it up with. “Bucky was my brother; we were definitely not unloading any metaphorical guns.”

“Mhhmmmm, okay Rogers.”

He laughs and Sharon nudges him playfully.

“Come on, Rogers, we’re your friends,” she teases, “you can tell us anything, we won’t blab. Spy’s honour.”

“Spy’s honour, huh?” he inquires.

Sharon nods solemnly.

“Well,” he starts, and the three women lean in closer, eyes eager.  

“Spy’s honour doesn’t change the truth. Peggy is still my first kiss.”

The other three groan and roll their eyes, Sharon slapping his arm lightly.

“You’re terrible,” Tasha sighs, looking forlorn but quickly recovering.

“Now ask me a truth.”

“That doesn’t make any sense but alright. What about you? Who was your first kiss?”

At that Jan grins and scoots closer to Tasha.  

“That would be this lovely lady beside me.”

Steve feels his eyebrows climb and that little green monster claw it’s way further up his throat.  

“Jan?!” he exclaims and immediately winces at how incredulous he sounds.

“No offence.”

She grins slyly and tips her glass at him.

“None taken, Boy Scout.”

Natasha swirls the contents of her glass and stares at it thoughtfully.  

“You didn’t know?”

Steve shakes his head in what he hopes is a nonchalant manner.

“Mmm, dear old homophobic dad paid to have the whole thing covered up, so makes sense that you don’t know.”

She frowns at the contents of her glass, before perking right back up again.

“Anyway! Sharon, darling, truth or dare?”

They go around like that for well over an hour, almost getting kicked out when Sharon dares Jan to give out fashion advice to three random strangers, and Jan gets way too enthusiastic about it, ending up insulting some guy’s shirt that apparently is worth enough to him to get into a fight over. He only backs down once Steve wanders over and stands firmly between him and Jan, who’s clearly enjoying herself.

After that, they stick more to truth questions.

“Tasha,” Jan asks, eyes gleaming, “what is your deepest, darkest teenage fantasy?”

Tasha snorts and gestures to him.  

“Him, that. Just-” She continues wave her arm up and down in his direction. “That. He’s Captain America. Steve, you’re Captain America, I bet even you want to tap that. I mean, that’s Captain America.”

Steve blinks, trying to process. “You wanted- me?”

“Wanted. Why the hell would that change? It’s Captain America! Seriously, if you asked, I would, really Rogers, you are a fine, fine specimen. Like, really, fine-“

Sharon snorts and rolls her eyes.

“We get it Tash, you’re in love with Rogers.”

Steve tries not to choke on his pretzel.

3. She was in love with Rhodey for precisely one week

“Afternoon, Steve.”  

Steve glances up as James Rhodes walks through the doors and settles himself at the island.  

“Afternoon, Colonel.”

Rhodes wrinkles his nose and shakes his head. “Seriously man, call me James. I don’t know what to do with Captain America calling me ‘colonel’.”

Steve smiles, but before he can respond Natasha, saunters in through the door and brightens at the sight of the two of them.  

“My two favourite men! Rhodey Bear!” She pecks him on the cheek and Steve tries not to take it personally when all he gets is a friendly squeeze on the arm.

“Steve! I wanted to talk to you.”

Steve frowns and tries to quell the butterflies in his stomach as he glances up as casually as he can from making Tasha’s coffee.

“I have been informed that last night at the bar I may have implied several things of a sexual nature between you and I, and I just wanted to apologise.”

Steve blinks. And tries not to feel disappointed.

“I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable, that was clearly just the alcohol talking and I’m sorry.”

Oh. He gives up on trying not to feel disappointed.

“Yeah, course, course, that’s– yeah.”

Damn him.

Natasha doesn’t seem to buy his response and continues on. “You know how it is, right? You’re caught up in the moment and just say stuff with no filter, stuff that you don’t fully mean–”

Jesus, Steve doesn’t really need this.

“Of course, Tasha, don’t worry about it; really.”

She nods, seemingly satisfied until Rhodes pipes up,

“Hey, Tash, remember our first week of MIT together?”  

He’s looking at Tasha, mischief clear in his eyes.

“Oh no–” Tasha starts, but Rhodey butts in, turning to Steve.

“She had a crush on me our first week of MIT together. Honestly, man, you should get her to like you because that was the best and funniest week of my life.”

“Rhodey, sugar–”

“She proposed with an onion ring, he continues, expression mock wistful as Tasha pouts next to him.

“I was a child, Rhodey, I didn’t know better; this is abuse. Rhodey, please, don’t do this!”

“Apparently she bought out the whole cinema for a date and I had to tell her I was dating Carol. It was very awkward.”

They banter back and forth like that for some time as Steve stands there and examines his mug of coffee for a way out of the situation. It presents no solution.

After a while, Natasha just shakes her head in exasperation and grins fondly at Rhodes then turns back to Steve, grin turning slightly lopsided.

“So, we’re cool right?”

It takes Steve a moment to respond and when he does, he’ll deny the squeak in his voice till his dying day.

“Of course, Tasha.”

“Great, cause it’d suck if I fell out with Captain America, you know?”

Steve can only nod.

4. Not so long ago, she woke up slumped over her desk with no memory of having got there and the worst hangover she cares to remember. Steve found her a few minutes later and carried her to bed, wearing his Sad Disapproving frown the whole time and she hasn’t drank a drop since

They’re at the annual Maria Stark Foundation gala and a waiter passes by with delicate flutes of champagne and Steve grabs two, affirming to himself that this will be a great, normal way to start a conversation with Tasha. He stumbles his way through the crowds, feeling slightly awkward delicately clutching the two glasses until he eventually spots her walking toward the balcony and forces himself to calm down. When he falls into step with her, she’s talking with a smartly dressed young man sporting a light blue velvet suit jacket, and next to him,  Steve finds it hard to ignore just how much he doesn’t quite fit in here.

Before that thought tumbles out of control, a short brunet pulls the velvet jacket man away, and Natasha and Steve step out onto the balcony, finally alone together.

It’s quiet for a few moments before Steve finally holds out the second flute.

“I grabbed you a drink.”

He’s just starting to congratulate himself on getting the words out when Natasha responds.

“Oh, actually I’m off the stuff.”

Great.

“Oh really? That’s great! I mean, good for you! I’ll uh,” Steve stares at both glasses in his hands and feels the back of his neck burn. Real smooth, Rogers.

“I’ll uh–” he tips the contents of each glass down his throat one by one and sets them on the railing of the balcony.

When he turns back Natasha is smiling at him softly and in that moment he doesn’t care if he looks like an idiot.

“Yeah,” she continues, “I’ve been trying out the sober thing for a while. Actually since, um, the lab, since– you know.”

A beat.  

“Thanks for that, by the way.”

Steve smiles and stands closer as they both look out at the sky and Steve tries not to shiver at the pressure of Tasha’s gaze as it seems to bore straight into his heart.

5. Steve has inexplicably, perhaps through fate, become her home

Steve’s not sure how it happens. They’re arguing, he knows – their usual song and dance about Natasha’s recklessness in the field and following orders and blah, blah – when Tasha blurts out,  

“I’m fine as long as I’m with you!”

She looks about as surprised as he feels and he stares at her, waiting – hoping – for something more to follow.

“I feel safe as long as I’m with you,” she finishes quietly.

Their respective silences are deafening and Steve steps closer, breathing quick and mouth dry and praying he’s making the right decision.

+1. Steve suffers from an unfortunate side effect of the serum

It’s approaching the end of their first three months together as a couple and seven months together as Avengers when it happens.

The team are huddled together by a collapsed building, avoiding the hoard of reporters trying to jostle their way past the security tape and police. They’re dirty and tired and injured and Tasha tells herself that’s why none of them notice Steve’s absence sooner.

Once they do, however, they race off in different directions in search of their missing teammate, after Tasha’s frantic attempts to contact him through comms gets nowhere.

It’s an agonising ten minutes later that Romanoff finds him, hunched over in an alley and vomiting. Tasha’s there within a minute, scooping him up and flying back to the tower, mind racing and heart thumping.

Once they get to the tower’s medical bay, the rest of the team not far behind in the jet, Tasha demands JARVIS run whatever tests he can. In less than a minute, she hears his voice through her earpiece.

“Doctor, I think it would be best if you stepped outside for a moment.”

Tasha’s heart seizes and for a split second she doubts the reliability of the reactor. She maintains a calm façade, squeezing Steve’s hand, before hurrying out the med bay’s doors.

“What’s wrong? Poisoning? The serum should take care of anything, I don’t-”

“Captain Rogers appears to be experiencing a severe migraine.”

He’s- what?

“He is displaying sensitivity to light and sound, vomiting, as well as brief hallucinations. Hallucinations are not usually a common symptom; however, regarding Captain Rogers’ unique position, they may be. I have informed the rest of the team, who have an ETA of 1 minute 18 seconds.”

“Shit.”

Natasha runs her hands through her hair, trying not to get overwhelmed.

Goddamn, where’s Bruce when you need him?

“Fuck, how does he even have a migraine – what about the serum?”

“My guess would be that Erskine’s serum caused chemical imbalances in the brain, which in turn led to such severe migraines.”

“How did no one notice this before?”

Damn Steve and his stubborn ass.

Once the Quinjet lands, her and Bruce hole themselves up in the med bay and work. They try everything they can think of, and after that, they try everything the internet can throw at them. None of it works.

Two hours later Natasha slumps into a chair next to Steve’s bed and watches as he drifts in and out of fitful sleep, her own eyes drooping, and suddenly she  remembers that she never even showered after their battle. She allows her eyes to close, promising she’ll get straight back at it after a quick nap.

She wakes up nine hours later, the pain in her neck and back a rude reminder that she’s not in her 20s anymore. When she looks over at Steve’s bed, she’s greeted by clear blue eyes gazing softly at her and the previous day comes rushing back.

She grunts as she straightens in the chair and fixes her idiot boyfriend with a glare.

“So, Captain America gets migraines, huh? What the hell, Steve?”

Steve winces and for a second she worries the migraine hasn’t fully gone.

“I know, I’m sorry. I should have told you but I didn’t want you to worry. I’m fine now.”

Even as she shakes her head at him, she pushes off the chair and pulls back the thin sheets, climbing into the bed beside him.

“So this is a regular thing? How the hell have you kept that from the whole team all this time? We have a literal Russian spy living with us, for god’s sake.”

Steve at least has the decency to look bashful.

“We haven’t had that many missions together and it’s not all the time. Usually it doesn’t get that bad either and I can hold out till I get to my floor.”

“I thought the serum takes care of all that?”

“Erskine said because of chemical imbalances and heightened senses, they’d come and go a lot.”

He shrugs.

“So that’s like your kryptonite?”

“I understood that reference,” Steve laughs through a yawn.

They lie there quietly a little longer, curled up together.

“Well, now you can’t say shit to me when I binge in the lab, Mr I-can-handle-everything-all-by-myself.”

Steve frowns.

“Tasha, that’s not good for you–”

“Fucking hell Steve, neither is sitting by yourself in pain for hours.”

She rolls over so she’s facing Steve.

“I’m serious. You should have told me.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” Steve replies quietly, tucking himself in tighter against her side.

“I want to help you with this, even if that’s just sitting by the bed.”

She pauses.

“I love you, you dummy.”

She can practically feel Steve grinning at her as he nestles himself under her chin.

“I love you too, Tasha.”

[yourhero404]

Mortality.

Yay, it’s finally the 19th for me! Now, I’ve never participated in any sort of ‘week’ challenge... thing, but I couldn’t pass up @shigarakiweek! I love Tomura as a character and I really loved working on all of these ;u; Here it goes!

DAY ONE Prompts:  family/childhood/redemption

Description: Year after year, the anniversary passed by Tomura’s eyes, but apparently, time never heals all wounds. 

He never remembered his entire childhood like others seemed to. Needless details, mundane and repetitive actions- how would something so bland stick within his memories? It was a needless action, reminiscing, and he hardly spent more than a mere moment attempting it. Something about today felt different- off, really- he couldn’t pinpoint what the issue was exactly.  

What day was it again? The cold chill that penetrated through the layers of his hoodie told him more subconsciously than he wanted to hear; He knew what day it was, he just didn’t want to acknowledge its presence or give the hurtful memory the satisfaction of plaguing his mind. Playing aloof was a better option. A walk should help him clear his head.

Yes, a walk. He hardly goes out anymore, which isn’t all that surprising. He never really went out before, either. Perhaps he did as a small child? But ever since he had been under the care of his Teacher, he’s been more of a recluse- timid, afraid, hateful of anything that existed beyond those heavy doors that separated them. He preferred living within the 4k landscapes that rendered across the TV screen- he could change his scenery instantly with a different disk and that’s all that mattered to him. Talking to NPCs, witnessing entirely different worlds, changing his story and who he is in the matter of seconds without a second thought to the consequences- yes, he truly did enjoy spending his teenage and early adult years within the fantasy worlds. But being outside... something about it felt needed today- the cold air swirled around him and the fresh air made him feel less like he was being suffocated and more like he was free for a moment. Free to breathe, to think, to feel and to... remember.

His mindless walking brought him to a park and he decided to sit on a bench and just... observe.  

The sounds of children are what caught his attention- disgusting sounds really. The way they laughed and screamed, their innocent fun repulsed him. They were so carefree, never stopping to think about the evil around them; None of them worry about horrific things happening to them or their families, all they need to worry about is tagging the next child to keep their game of Tag going. Wasn’t his life just a big game of Tag with consequences? The childish game was now a full-scale problem; The villains form some sort of attack on the general public, scaling up to antagonizing the heroes- the heroes attack the villains right back and lock them up behind cold, metal bars. It was like... Freeze Tag.

Freeze Tag, that’s it. That’s what those children are playing across the way. One would two-hand touch another, laughing as their friend stood frozen in place- they seemed to stay in the funniest position they could until another ran by and ‘unfroze’ them. He focused so deeply on their actions, that the scene in front of him started to change.  

What was he seeing? It seemed... hazy and most of the surroundings were unclear- the clearest portion was the kid at the center. That kid was no longer some stranger, it was... him? Yes, it was him- it had been so long, it was hard to recognize himself. He was smiling, laughing, absolutely beaming- how weak. The children surrounding him were nothing but faceless figures, but he can certainly hear their voices. They all called out for him- hearing his true name made him feel ill- they laughed, mixed voices telling him to run, others taunting him with how they were right on his tail. The large smile on his face showed him that he was having fun, letting childish play be simply that- play. One kid’s taunts struck a nerve, it scared him. The look on his face flipped a switch from joyous to fearful and he turned abruptly to run towards a pair of outstretched hands- that's all he recognized, the hands. The larger hands moved to rest against his ribs, the thumbs hooking underneath his arms and swiftly lifting him off of the ground and into safety; It was warm and inviting, he could almost feel the same sensation against his skin now- but with one blink, the scene before him diminished.  

A glint of light hit the corner of his eye and he turned to face it. A small metal cart was being pushed around, a soft chime of a bell followed it around. What was this person selling again? The line of cones and cups across the top answered is question- ice cream. When was the last time he had some of that? Did he even like ice cream?

Yes- yes, he did, he remembered. Cookie dough was his favourite; It was the most nostalgic flavour after all, it had pieces of actual cookie dough in it. He wondered if they had any in the cart- would it taste the same? Would the flavour be just as surreal now as it was to him then?

A pair of children ran up to the cart, then. Tomura watched them stand on the tips of their toes, holding onto the small ledge in front of the clear window displaying the tubs of ice cream below. The smiles on their faces shone brightly- one eagerly held out a fistful of dollar bills while the other excitedly pointed from the display cone to the ice cream of their choice. He focused on the one pointing and before he knew it, their appearance shifted; Their hair was light blue and shaggy, holding their hand out for the ice cream. He could hear the warning, telling him to be mindful of his hands and watch what he was doing- he didn’t think much of it. Red eyes were wide and full of amazement at the size of the scoop resting in the cone, his tongue was just about to reach the cold substance before a voice halted his movements. His smile wavered as he listened to this voice ask if he was positive about his ice cream choice- why wouldn’t he be? Raw cookie dough was made with eggs, and raw eggs were harmful- or so he was told. It was his first time trying this flavour, would it truly make him sick? With tears pricking the corners of his eyes, he glared at the dessert with a heartbreaking pout on his face as he tried to process just why a sweet treat would try and bring him harm. The voice he heard before laughed heartedly, those familiar hands reaching out once again and landing on his shoulders this time; He felt comforted, being told the ice cream was safe and that it was a joke was reassuring. The hands sent warmth throughout his entire body in place of the cold of the ice cream. Just before his cheeky smile met the cone, he blinked once, twice, three times and the images were gone. The children came back into view, some sort of green ice cream within their hands instead; They ran off with a giddy laughter echoing behind them, leaving an annoying ringing in his ears.

Tomura couldn’t take it anymore- he started to get antsy and his head started to throb. Perhaps it had something to do with the sudden flush of unexpected memories. Were they truly memories, though? Or where they something his brain made up just to compensate for the loneliness?

Heading back to the Hideout, he passed a set of people- these two stood out to him more than anyone else he passed by. It had only been a brief moment, but it felt like several minutes; He watched a young child run down the sidewalk, laughing and smiling as if they didn’t have a care in the world.  

Tomura hadn’t realized it, but he held his breath as the child tripped over an uneven break in the sidewalk and landed face down. As the child pushed themselves up, he saw tearful red eyes that mirrored his own; He saw his own wounds- the tripping hazard being the untied laces of his shoes rather than uneven ground. Lip quivering, he sniffed and attempted to hold back tears as he nursed the large scrape on his knee, letting out a whine when he realized he started to bleed. He looked around for someone- he knew who he was looking for, but couldn’t find them. The tears started to pour as a heavy sob shook his body; It was the first time he felt so alone, hurt with no one in sight to care about him- it was a feeling like no other. He could feel the burning on his skin as he pulled the wounded knee to his chest and curled into himself in an attempt to stop the pain- both physical and emotional. Where were they? Why weren’t they helping him? His thoughts had been cut off by the warmth of a hand landing on the back of his head. He could hear a soothing voice from behind him say that he’d be alright, he just had to push past the pain and learn to prevent it next time. Hands moved to grab onto his laces and teach him how to tie them, the warmth on the back of his head lingering as though the hand was still there.  

The child got back up on their feet and the image of himself faded as they ran off, laughing at themselves and their blunder. He was done for the day; his body was cold and he couldn’t spend another minute surrounded by the noise. A walk did him no good in the end.

Reminiscing was a useless act; A needless action. The past was going to do nothing for him in the long run, and it certainly wasn’t going to change- no matter how hard he wished for it to do so.

The walls making up the alleyway to the hideout seemed much narrower than they previously have been- they made him feel a bit caged in, as though they were guidelines he was meant to follow to stay on his life’s path. That’s right- memories were futile and were just distractions.  

Mundane childhood acts were things he need not worry about anymore.  

He knew what today was- it's been haunting him no matter how hard he worked to bury it.

“It’s all for you,” he started speaking softly to himself.  

His hand removed the item he had been toying with in the front pocket of his hoodie. The hand was cold as he placed it upon his face- the warmth long gone from the hand he once placed his entire life within.

“Father.”

[ourghoststories]

Sweet Dreams (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Word Count: 1,500+

Summary: Reader feels left out from the Avengers and Bucky helps her, then she helps Bucky.

Warnings: Mentions of PTSD, Anxiety and Depression, Nightmares, Social anxiety, panic attacks.

“Hey Nat, could you help me-“.

“No.” She said sternly, cutting me off.

“But I-“.

“No. I’m not going to help you with whatever bullshit you need, okay?” She mocked, huffing off.

Great, way to start off my day.

Why was she mad at me? 

All I wanted was for her to help me out with training and then hang out with me or something, I knew that I was new, but I just wanted to make some friends- I’ve never really been good with the whole friends thing and this sets the bar pretty low.

I tried as hard as I could to shrug off the incident with Nat, it didn’t really work, but the keyword here was tried.

Crying wasn’t an option, they’d all just laugh at me, I had to stay strong- for myself, not them.

Steve and Sam walked in, both sweaty from their jog “Uh.. Guys? Do you think that maybe I could jog with you tomorrow?” I asked gleefully.

Sam laughed as though I had just said the worlds funniest joke “oh, that… it wasn’t a joke?”.

Steve was silent and although he elbowed Sam, a smile was plastered on his face; They laughed down the hallway, making jokes about me.

Maybe this whole ‘Avengers’ thing wasn’t right for me…

Tony was holding a huge party, he didn’t consider the fact that I hated parties and they freaked me out, sure I could act fine and actually be social in small parties, but tony had invited so many people it was ridiculous; to put it bluntly, I was dying inside.

I was really flipping anxious, I approached tony, who- with his female army were blocking the exit “Tony, could you please move?” I asked, as politely as I could in the current situation.

The girls around him laughed at a joke he was saying “Tony? Could you move please?!” I said with more urgency, as I tried to push through but got shoved back. 

No one would care, none of the Avengers even noticed me… I knew I hadn’t met Clint, Pietro or Wanda, but if this was anything to go by I didn’t want to.

“Please, please, let me through- I need… fresh air!” I gasped.

Panic overcame me and all my breath got sucked up into my lungs, I was going to pass out.

This was in fact the last straw.

“ANTHONY HOWARD STARK, COULD YOU PLEASE LET ME THROUGH!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, I could tell Tony was trying to get on my nerves, because not only did he not budge, he also acknowledged my presence.

“Tony, could you move outta the way before I ram my metal fist into your skull” a deep, strained voice boomed from behind me.

“Okay, listen, Luke Skywalker, one more insult to me, I’ll kick your ass onto the streets, where you belong. You too short stack” Tony threatened as he let us through.

We walked into the elevator in complete silence, Bucky’s face softened as he saw the pain and discomfort in my eyes.

The pressure was getting to me, I felt as if a freight train had hit me at full force in the chest, so I did what any normal person would do, and started to break down.

Bucky caught me, as I almost fell to the ground “hey doll, I need you to take some deep breaths, everything’s gonna be okay, alright?” He said, furrowing his brows.

“I- I’ll try” I hyperventilated, my thoughts racing.

“That’s all I’m asking of you, mm?” He hummed, concern adorning his face.

My lungs caught up with my body and calmed down, my heightened senses calming back to normal- apart from my heart rate and blood pressure.

The elevator dinged, signalling it was time for use to get off.

“That’s my girl” he soothed, pulling me into a warm embrace, as we walked out of the elevator.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and turned away from him “you must think I’m pathetic.. I’m sorry I..” I trailed off, lost in thought.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me back so I was facing him, I was darn close to him as well “I don’t think you’re anything, doll. You’re you” Bucky smiled, massaging the front of my hands with his thumbs.

a heavy sigh escaped my mouth, “I don’t know where to start… I can’t control myself mentally and physically, with my powers… I can’t speak to anyone about it or- or do anything! I’ve killed so many people and I’m aware of it and it’s slowly consuming me… The Avengers have ignored me, laughed at me and pushed me away- I thought I was supposed to be welcomed…”.

Bucky cocked an eyebrow “Hey beautiful, you ain’t the only one…” he joked, but I could tell it was so much more than that.

“You know how I feel don’t you?” I questioned, observing his facial expressions.

We walked outside

His mouth twitched slightly, his Adams apple bobbed up and down and his jugular pulsed, he was nervous and I was going into unknown territory “yes, unfortunately… I’ve accepted the fact that I’m a monster, I’m all fucked up in the brain, I know that much- the doctors say it’s all these things, PTSD, anxiety, depression… It’s more than that, I still feel guilty, I feel the burden of everything, I’m on the outer edge and I can’t fit in” he said in a much darker tone, his eyes almost glazing over.

“James, I know how you feel, but you- most definitely aren’t a monster, y’know how I know that? Because you’re sweet and I’ve only known you for what? Twenty minutes?” I asked, his short speech, hitting a cord.

Pain emanated from both of us, but somehow we connected, it was like we knew each others thoughts, feelings, all of it “Thanks Bucky” I genuinely smiled.

The screams from my dreams woke me up, but then I realised they were real and coming from a few doors down, Bucky’s room.

I rushed into Bucky’s room without hesitation, bloodcurdling screams filling my ears, taking all my might not to flashback or give in.

“James! Wake up!” I yelled, shaking him vigorously.

He woke up in a panicked state, pushing me to the other side of the room, “Bucky this isn’t you” I warned.

He ran with full force at me, knocking me over before he started to strangle me, I needed to handle this rationally and not use my abilities.

I pushed him onto the bed, I was scared, for me, for him and for both of our sanity. 

“No no no no no no no no no no” he whispered to himself, rocking back and forth.

“Get away from me! Stop! YOU’RE GOING TO HURT HER! DON’T!” He yelled.

“FRIDAY, please notify Mr Rogers that Bucky is in distress” I said as calmly as possible. 

“Yes miss L/N”.

Bucky was sobbing, his blue eyes now as blue as he was, I pulled him in close to me, into a hug, I ran my hands through his hair and whispered sweet nothings.

“Wha- w- Y/N?” He asked in shock, still completely broken.

His eyes darted around the room, to the broken furniture, before finally landing on my neck and arms “Did I..?” He gulped, looking away before I could answer.

“Buck, it’s not your fault” a voice echoed, from outside his room.

“It’s truely not Bucky, I could’ve done much more damage to you, so… it’s nothing” I smiled sadly, wiping the tears off his soft skin with my thumbs.

My eyes opened wide, that’s right, I had called Steve, shit.

“I- um, Steve’s here, I should go-“.

“Don’t be stupid Y/N, you helped out my pal here, who knows what would’ve happened if you weren’t there” Steve smiled as he walked in. 

“Thanks… Buck? You alright? As you can be I mean” I mumbled.

“Yeah doll, I’m…” he trailed off, looking at the floor.

“Sorry for today, Sam and I were being immature and I realised how you must’ve felt, Nat said she was sorry too. Everyone’s been working overtime lately” Steve said sincerely… I think?

“That’s- it’s all good.” I said shyly, Bucky letting out a chuckle in response.

“Well, I’ll head off” I smiled, about to get up from the bed.

A cold hand latched around my waist, pulling me back to bed “Wha-“.

“Y/N could you stay? Please?” He begged.

“That’s my cue to leave. Buck, if you need anything you know where to find me, you too Y/N” Steve said softly, as he shut the door and left.

I fell back onto the bed and felt the weight of the world on top of me.

Bucky was still in shock, but he was slowly getting better “You’re all sweaty” I observed.

He looked guilty “hey, it’s fine… I’ll get you some clothes and you can change” I smiled, patting his chest in reassurance.

I tried my hardest not to look, “Doll, I know you’re tempted” he chuckled darkly.

“Oh, shut up, you!”.

We both got back into the bed, I cuddled into his warm, now shirtless body and rested my head on his chest; I could feel every breath he was taking and how his heart rate sped up when I made a slight move.

I started singing him a lullaby, it used to work for me when I was little, so why wouldn’t it work now? Which it did, impeccably well.

Light snores emanated from Bucky, as he went into a sound sleep, hopefully with dreams “sleep tight Buck” I whispered, as I placed a kiss on his chest.

My world had changed so much in the past few hours and it was a weird feeling.

I hope you enjoyed this, I know I haven’t written much, but I'm really trying! - Darcy

[marklandfinancial]

Two Habits walk into a bar...

During this pandemic, as many of us have, I have had many hours to fill. I have found that podcasts have been a great filler that keep my attention as well as actually contribute something to my life; I have been exposed to many new ideas, thoughts, systems, and people , none of which are available to me on a regular basis. One of my favorite podcasts is the Armchair Expert, starring Dax Shepard, not because of anything particularly ground breaking, but he usually has interesting guests on and they delve into topics not normally covered. One expert he had on really struck a chord with me; B.J. Fogg, a Stanford professor whose expertise lies in habits. Specifically, how they form, good or bad which, when you come to think about it, is a very useful bit of info for a human to have. Essentially, his thesis is that a habit becomes a habit when you have a repetitive action that (emphasis mine) HAS POSITIVE EMOTIONAL FEEDBACK. Are you a woman who loves new shoes? It could be that, as a child, every time you got a new pair of shoes, your family, friends and strangers would compliment you on them. You liked the compliments and attention (POSITIVE EMOTIONAL FEEDBACK) and BAM! you are addicted to Nordstrom's shoe floor and there 2x a week. How about a guy who was the funniest guy in the room after a few beers? Why wouldn't you love to go to happy hour and tell jokes when everyone laughs and feels good being around you? See how that works? So if you have a bad habit that you want to break, try and figure out how it affects you emotionally and you are on your way to breaking it (with some hard work as well, this isn't magic). Conversely, do you want a new habit? Make sure you get praise (either from others or yourself) when you do it. Working out? After you do that, make sure to give yourself a mental high five or have a workout buddy who tells you "great job!". That positive feedback will start a fly-wheel affect and can lead to knock on effects later!

So, in my new found fascination with habits, I search out information that can help me create better habits as well. So listen up, I just found a game changer this AM. Hopefully, it will do the same for you. And, this isn't my research or my information, let me be clear. I want to share what I have found from other sources and give them all the credit!

The source of this info is an article I read on the Ascent, a site I frequent, and the author of the article cites Gretchen Rubin and her book Better than Before. Believe you me when I tell you I will be procuring a copy of this but wanted to give you the short version as this as mentally unlocked so many things for me in around 5 hours. Habits and habit forming does involve emotion but they also need to "recognize the basic aspects of our personal nature". What the hell does that mean? It means that diet that is generally a good idea doesn't work for you, it isn't because there are faults with you or the diet. You just have to customize the diet or whatever new habit it is to you. The author has a few Vs. that are illustrative and that have already helped me identify why some ideas work or don't work for me.

The first is Moderation Vs. Abstinence. The prime example of this would be booze; if you are truly an alcoholic, you can't moderate. You must abstain 100%; it is a binary decision for them. The same can be true for us with other decisions. Is it better to have a cheat meal or is it better to avoid that all together? If you are a moderator, cheat meals can be a pleasure. If you are an abstainer, cheat meals can lead to cheat days lead to cheat weeks and well, you get the drift. Which one are you? I have already figured out I am an abstainer and that will change my diet henceforth.

The second is Lark vs. Owl, which is essentially morning person or night owl. KNOWING that about yourself helps you design your day appropriately. If you are an owl, good luck getting up to work out; same thing with working out after work if you are a Lark. Don't try and fit the habits to what you WANT ("it would be so nice to have the workout done by 7am!"), fit it to REALITY

Third is Marathoner vs. Sprinter. Think about a school project; would you rather start day 1 and have it done the last day of the semester? OR do you need the urgency of knowing you only have 2 days left and haven't even started? This will help you understand the importance of deadlines and how they related to you.

Fourth- Simplicity versus Abundance. Again, another simple way to look at this; would you rather have a beautiful croissant with fresh butter and a glass of fresh OJ for breakfast? OR do you get excited by the thought of an amazing breakfast buffet, overflowing with options from omlette's and bacon to French toast and pancakes? It helps to understand your leanings when designing the habit; to lose weight, do you just want to do a 5 mile run every morning? Or do you need a gym and all the myriad classes and machines to motivate you?

Fifth- Familiar vs. Novel- do you love routines? Or do you really enjoy the challenge of something different every day (somewhat like the Simplicity versus abundance but slightly different)

Finally, there is Promotion vs. Prevention. Do you think "I don't want to get fat and unhealthy, so I shouldn't eat that" (prevention?). Or do you say, "I want to look great at the beach!" (promotion). Again, not right or wrong, but understanding yourself and how you view the world can help you build habits that easily align with you and your values and personality. You will have a lot better chance of losing weight if you pick a diet that includes carbs if you love pasta.

[redgillan]

Rotten Judgement - part 6

AU!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Hercules!AU After selling your soul to save your lover’s life, you become one of the Lord of the Underworld’s slave. Bucky is obsessed with one thing: collecting hearts. But why?

Word Count:2,052

Warnings: the usual + Torture, Blood, Death

A/N: I hate warnings, they spoil all the fun... Sorry, I don’t know what’s going on in my brain, but I enjoy drama lol Enjoy, lovely cupcakes :)

Rotten Judgement - Masterpage

Two weeks after you last saw Bucky, you were getting ready for your meeting with Sam and his team when you heard a lot of giggling and chattering in the hallway. You rolled your eyes, recognizing the voice of the two Furies.

“What do you want?” you asked defensively as you swung the door open.

“Miss us?”

Wanda pressed her cheek against Nat’s and they both gave you their best innocent smile. When you didn’t answer, they bat their eyelashes at you.

“Not at all,” you sighed. “What are you doing here?”

They invited themselves into your apartment; Nat went straight to the fridge while Wanda sat at the counter that separated the kitchen and the living room. You slammed the door shut as a reminder that they were not welcome. They didn’t seem to care.

“In case you forgot, I’m free. This means we don’t have to see each other anymore.”

Nat and Wanda turned to look at you. They stood composed, not a hint of amusement or playfulness on their faces. If anything, they looked hurt.

“You didn’t say goodbye,” Wanda murmured.

“What?”

“You left without saying goodbye,” Nat said, walking back to the dining table. She gave you a tight-lipped smile, her eyes never leaving yours. “You really don’t like us, do you?”

“You’re demons, not my friends.”

Wanda’s mouth fell open in indignation and you quickly avoided her sad eyes. Nat snickered, taking a seat.

“You think you’re so superior, but guess what, I used to be just like you. You think we were born Furies? You’re so wrong.”

“Nat, don’t,” Wanda pleaded, but Nat raised a hand, stopping her.

“No, she has to know.”

Snapping her chin up, Wanda huffed forcefully. She turned her head to stare out the window, unable to keep her eyes on you or Nat. She didn’t need a reminder of how broken she was. It was hard enough to live an immortal life without the only person she truly loved.

Nat cleared her throat and began her story. She was born in 1840 in Votkinsk where she became one of the most acclaimed ballerina of her generation. She had men swooning over her, but she fell in love with the wrong one.

He was funny, sassy, sarcastic... her ideal guy, but he had a secret. Her perfect boyfriend was a cherub, a cupid in training, and when his superiors cruelly forced him to choose between his work and her, he chose his job.

Wanda had heard her scream and offered her help. She turned Nat into a fury to appease her suffering. Wanda had lost her twin brother during the war for Olympus. She said that the pain so unbearable that it turned her into a vengeful monster.

When they found you, crying and begging for your boyfriend’s life, they decided to bring you to the Lord. They believed that you and your boyfriend were soulmates, true love and all that crap. And boy, they were wrong.

You plopped down into a chair and stared off into space, unshed tears burning behind your eyes. Nat was right, you acted like you were better than them. You didn’t know what to say and you felt like an idiot. It wasn’t Peter’s fault you had sold your soul, it wasn’t even Bucky’s fault; it was yours. Bucky had given you a choice and you’d decided to sign the contract.

The time had come to own up to your mistakes and accept responsibility for your actions. It was the only way you could move on with your life.

“You think demons can’t show affection? Sweetie, we’ve had our hearts broken so badly it changed us. Kindness is something mortals take for granted. We know what it’s like to lose everything and we show mercy to those who suffer.”

“And we know what love looks like,” Nat chimed in, “even if you refuse to see it.”

That made you raise your head. Nat noticed your confused expression and grinned.

“We both know you and Captain America have nothing in common. He’s too perfect, and deep down you know he’s not good for you. He’s boring, too vanilla.”

“Oh, really?” You felt anger surge through you. Steve was honest and sweet, and he would never do anything to hurt you.

“Yeah, really,” Nat mocked. “The man you really want has seen things you wouldn’t believe. He needs you as much as you need him. You're not the only person in the world –or Underworld- who's been hurt.”

“What are you implying? Bucky doesn’t have feelings for me.”

“He does.”

“You’re crazy,” you huffed out a laugh, avoiding her eyes.

“He doesn’t want to admit it because it scares him. He’s seen what pure evil looks like.”

“And what does pure evil look like?” You rolled your eyes.

“Alexander Pierce.”

“The guardian angel?” you almost shrieked. “You’re out of your mind.”

“He’s not a guardian angel, he’s the Hydra. Pierce fooled everyone, including your Captain America. The Lord wants to protect you. Why do you think he broke your contract?”

You scoffed, “He did it because he was tired of me. He said I was stubborn, irresponsible and reckless.”

“Well, he’s not wrong,” Wanda snickered. “Doesn’t mean he’s not trying to protect you.”

“He has weird ways of showing affection,” you mumbled.

“Yup, having a frozen heart does that to a man.” Nat shrugged, crossing the room. She pretended not to see your sudden interest and opened the front door.

“He has a frozen heart? Is that a metaphor or-”

“Stay away from Pierce, he’s dangerous,” Nat advised, cutting you off and avoiding your question.

The Furies closed the door, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Could she be telling the truth? You had a sickening feeling in your stomach as you got ready for your meeting. So Bucky had feelings for you? That was completely insane, but more importantly, did you like him?

You had always believed that if he made your breathing hitch, your blood boil and your heart race, it was because you hated him. Yet, you couldn’t deny that you missed his stupid face. You’d never admit it out loud, but you grew fond of him.

It was so wrong and you began to wonder if you were experiencing Stockholm syndrome. You knew victims could become attached to their captor, but this felt different. 

Bucky never hurt you, even when you failed or disobeyed an order. Stealing hearts gave you a wonderful feeling of power, like you were finally taking back control of your life.You were certainly not perfect and he accepted you for who you were. 

Nat was right, you liked Steve, but he was too perfect and you barely knew him.

Swallowing thickly, you decided to keep an eye on Pierce during the meeting... just in case. You arrived at Shield with ten minutes to spare. You pulled out your phone to text Steve. He texted back ‘I’ll be there in 5.”

Inside the restaurant, Bucky stood as stiff as a board while Pierce let his gaze swept over him. Bucky kept his head high and his posture erect. Pierce saw right through him, a slow smile spreading over his thin lips. Bucky thought he could keep you out of harm's way, but Pierce would have none of that.

“So, what do you say? Shall we call a truce?” Bucky asked impatiently, drumming his fingers on the edge of the bar.

“A truce?” Pierce laughed like it was the funniest joke he had ever heard. “This isn’t why I called you here. I want the Underworld. I don’t care what the other gods decided, the Underworld belongs to me.”

“In the past, maybe,” Bucky shrugged, “now it’s mine.”

Pierce stayed silent, his cold blue eyes locked on Bucky’s face. As his anxiety mounted, Bucky’s breathing quickened. It reminded him of their first encounter centuries ago.

Bucky’s thoughts carried him away to the room where he had been tortured. He shivered as he remembered the excruciating pain and the taste of the poison. Pierce cackled as Bucky started to shiver.

“Remembering the good old days?”

“I wouldn’t call them that,” Bucky grunted.

“Do me a favor and give up now before it’s too late,” Pierce sighed, his voice surprisingly gentle. A cold shiver ran down Bucky’s spine. “I killed Nick, you killed Brock, don’t make me to do it again. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t like getting my hands dirty.”

“Go to Hell.”

“If only you’d let me,” Pierce grinned, filling two glasses with what looked like wine. “Oh, by the way, I like that girl who works for you. She’s been an incredible help and told us all your little secrets. Actually she’s on her way as we speak. Tonight, she’ll tell us where we can find the Underworld and I’ll take back my kingdom. These four buffoons will be dead before sunrise.”

“If you touch her-” Realizing he said too much, Bucky clamped his mouth shut

“Is your heart melting?” Pierce laughed softly. He handed Bucky a glass, then set it on the counter when Bucky refused to take it. “It’s endearing, but you know exactly what I can do to your little protégée. Back off and I won’t hurt her. You have one minute to decide.”

As Bucky quickly considered his options, his stomach heaved. He never wanted the Underworld, but giving it up would have terrible consequences. Pierce would only bring chaos. Still, the thought of losing you was too much to bear.

Pierce started counting down. Five, four, three...

“Deal!” Bucky shouted. “The Underworld is yours, but you don’t touch her. Never.”

Pierce raised his glass. “Always a pleasure doing business with you.”

With a glare, Bucky took a sip of the thick red liquid, realizing too late that it wasn’t wine. It burnt down his throat, sending waves of pain up and down his body. Bucky fell to his knees, his body shaking violently.

“I must say, my venom is delicious. Like fine wine it improves with age, wouldn’t you agree?” Pierce licked his lips and put his now-empty glass on the counter.

Pierce yanked out an adamantine dagger he had hidden beneath his shirt and hauled Bucky to his feet. The God cried out in pain as his body fought against the poison.

“I said I wouldn’t hurt her, but you? You will die tonight.” He waved the dagger under his nose. “Steve found this on a mission. Poor guy didn’t know what it was; a weapon that can cut into immortal flesh.”

Outside the restaurant, you heard a sharp scream and whirled in place. You walked over to the front door and looked through the French windows.

Bucky feel to his knees, visibly in pain, as Pierce walked calmly toward him. He taunted him with a small dagger, laughing when Bucky tried to push him away. Your blood ran cold as you watched Bucky fight for his life.

You reached out and tried the doorknob. It was unlocked.

You burst through the doors and screamed, throwing yourself between Pierce and Bucky. A sharp pain shot through your stomach, forcing the air from your lungs. Pierced twisted the knife and smirked when it made you yelp.

You fell into Bucky’s open arms, your face twisted in disgust as blood rushed out of the wound. Bucky was still in a lot of pain, but managed to cradle you against him as you both fell to the ground. He pressed his hand over your wound in a feeble attempt to save your life, hot blood gushing through his fingers.

“No, no, no, no,” he chanted when your eyes fluttered closed.

The pain was gone, you just wanted to close your eyes and sleep. Gathering all your strength, you reached out and touched his jaw with your fingertips.

“I’m sorry.”

Bucky screamed, the sound bounced off the walls, as he rocked you back and forth in his arms. Tears fell freely and rolled down his cheeks. Pierce looked at him with a soft, creepy smile and squatted down in front of him.

“This is even better. When the others will walk through that door,” he said, jutting his thumb over his shoulder, “they’ll think you killed your precious darling girl.”

Bucky looked up at him through red-rimmed eyes, unconsciously holding you tighter against him.

Part 7

[douglassmiith]

Running Out of Things to Say On Zoom? This Communication Expert Wants to Help.

April 24, 2020 10 min read

The  global health crisis has transformed innumerable social norms. But where everyday pleasantries are concerned, none has taken on more weight than the question: “How are you?” 

Pre-crisis, the question filled dead air in transient, superficial moments. Unless it was your mother or your best friend asking, the polite thing to do was to answer in the noncommittal spirit of the question and keep things moving. Hitting the right note required a cheerful but not overly affirming response like, “Alright!” “Pretty good!” “Can’t complain!” 

If you went too far in one direction — a deflated “Okay,” or a vigorous “Great!”— then the asking party would be forced to stop and say, “Just okay?” or “Why so great?” For us emotionally transparent types, slapping on the fake cheer was painful, but not as painful as explaining our existential Tuesday blues to Steve in accounting. So “Alright!” it was.

Then, everyone got marooned indefinitely in their respective quarantines. “Now when people are asking it they’re actually trying to get a real answer, because we’re not going anywhere,” says Jill Schiefelbein, a communication strategist and founder of consulting firm The Dynamic Communicator. “We’re sitting on the opposite ends of the video screen, and people are wanting more than one word in response. A lot of people are opening up a little more than they used to about how they’re really doing because it’s become acceptable to do so.”

It’s really great — necessary, in fact — that people are connecting on a deeper level. The thing is, many of us are connecting with a lot of people. There are morning meeting Zooms, and work happy hour Zooms, friend happy hour Zooms, surprise birthday Zooms, gender reveal Zooms, weekly family Zooms. Because everyone assumes no one is doing anything, we all end up doing quite a bit, and, as one friend told me, “Frankly, I’m running out of things to say.”

Schiefelbein is here to help. She says that living a zen Zoom life is a delicate balancing act. And the first thing we have to accept — if it wasn’t obvious — is that no, Zoom is not like hanging out in real life. 

“When we gather in person, there’s typically some kind of stimulus for conversation,” she says. “You would be physically sitting in a shared space. If you went out to a restaurant with your family you’d be commenting on the decor, on the menu, on the food. Then everyone would kind of rotate, talk about whatever was going on that week.”

The thing about chit chat, Schiefelbein says, is that for many people it’s a doorway into deeper connection. “When you hear the word small talk, you think of, you know, trivial questions that fill the space. But small talk is also our way of feeling someone else out and figuring out how much is safe to disclose.”

Give your virtual gatherings a little direction

So Schiefelbein’s first suggestion is to structure your hangouts around a common stimulus. “When we’re gathering virtually, the stimulus we have is only what we can see on the immediate camera. And that changes things. So you will see more success with gatherings that are around a specific theme, a specific challenge, a specific event, a specific activity.” 

For example, Schiefelbein’s friend group has a weekly cooking challenge, where they have to make the most creative possible dish using one common ingredient. “Whoever wins this week picks the ingredient for the next week, and even though we can’t taste each other’s dishes, we’re showing pictures, we’re eating together, we’re doing something around this common challenge.”

The most important thing about having a shared stimulus, Schiefelbein says, is that it doesn’t immediately force soul-searching conversations. “We’re talking about the dishes we made or the frustrations we had in getting ingredients or something very specific, but it doesn’t force us to dive down into the deep, deep levels of inner self-evaluation and reflection, which the majority of people are not comfortable doing.”

Related: 25 Ways to Make Your Zoom Meetings Awesome!

Instead of dumping frustrations, diffuse them

While many of us may not feel comfortable sharing our emotions right off the bat — maybe we don’t like being vulnerable or feeling like a burden to others — Schiefelbein says it can be good to create a structured space for venting. “The reality is we are doing double, triple, quadruple duty to what we used to do in our regular lives,” she says, “And we’re also lacking a big portion of socialization and stimulation that we’re used to. It’s probably not super safe to always be venting to the one person you’re quarantined with, or if you’re quarantining solo, then the one or two people you trust the most.” In other words, diffuse your frustrations strategically instead of dumping them on the same person all the time.

“I have a client in an industry that has declined more than the average industry has right now, and things are getting depressive,” Schiefelbein continues. “So I said listen, we’re in this time that is unparalleled, and sometimes we need to know our managers are experiencing crap too. So at the beginning of a meeting, just be honest and say, ‘Listen, everyone, I know these team meetings may be getting a little routine, but I also know that it’s important to check in. That being said, some things just plain suck right now. So I’m going to go first and I’m going to tell you something that is really frustrating me and each person on this line gets 45 seconds to vent about whatever you need, no matter how trivial it may seem. Before we do this, raise your hand if you agree that we are going to be judgment-free. All right?’ And then after you go around, you immediately follow that with something everyone is feeling positive about. Rapid fire around the room, things we are grateful for. Air conditioning, WiFi. A laptop with an extended battery, whatever it is.”

Hearing what a wider range of people are going through, as opposed to the one or two people you usually share your troubles with, can make you feel less alone.

Set boundaries around your time and energy

As noted earlier, everyone being stuck at home has, for many, resulted in a kind of enforced busyness. Because people assume you don’t have anything going on, they feel more entitled to your time. This is not good.

Schiefelbein says, “I have a client who was showing me her meeting calendar every day and she said, ‘I had a lot of meetings before this, but now that I’m not in an office, it is absurd how many people feel they need to meet.’ Her calendar is literally full from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. or later. She doesn’t even have time to get up and go to the bathroom cause these meetings are back to back. It’s not sustainable, and I know she’s not the only one facing this.”

There are a lot of conflicting feelings going around. People feel a responsibility to show up and be supportive for their loved ones, and in a workplace setting, to prove their worth. But all of these interactions can also be very draining, not to mention that getting anything else done requires double the usual concentration. “You have to be willing to step up and communicate what you need,” says Schiefelbein. “And right now I see a lot of people not being very honest about what they need.” 

If you have a standing weekly Zoom hang with your friends or family, Schiefelbein says it’s not a bad idea to set expectations. “Say, ‘Listen, can we agree that we all have the right to bail out of this if we just need some “me” time? But in the same vein, can everyone agree that if any one of us really needs everyone there that night, we are all going to make an effort?’”

Everyone is experiencing this time differently, so it’s important not make assumptions about what someone else is going through. It’s good to create opportunities for everyone to talk about their feelings, but it’s also okay to just do something fun and forget about our worries for a while. With that in mind, Schiefelbein put together a little list of suggestions for themes and activities to get you gabbing on personal and professional Zooms. 

Related: 6 Tricks You Need to Know About Zoom

Family and friend virtual gathering prompts

What’s your favorite vacation memory? Bonus points for bringing a picture or souvenir.

Meme or GIF scavenger hunt: Everyone in the gathering rotates picking a theme and everyone goes out to hunt the funniest meme they can find and bring back to share.

What’s the restaurant or bar you miss going to the most? Bonus if you can get that delivered or try to create that meal or cocktail at home.

Pick a game! There’s online trivia, Cards Against Humanity, escape room and many other options that you can play together, while apart. (Entrepreneur editor Jessica Thomas says her family has been using the game apps Quiplash and Kahoots and recommends the app House Party for connecting to all play games together.)

Sprinkles of fun for business team virtual meetings

Renaming Games: Have every team member rename themselves to their favorite…(childhood cartoon character, cereal, sports icon, movie star, bucket list destination, etc.–the possibilities are endless) and then call everyone by that name during the meeting. 

Creative Coffee: Have a coffee mug show-and-tell (or any beverage glass, for that matter). Most can find a fun, memorable or funny mug, glass or stein to use for a meeting. Show them off and let each team member share a memory associated with where they got it.

Improv Games: Get your team collaborating and thinking quickly by incorporating improvisation games into your meeting. An easy one to start with is “word at a time” where each person says one word and you have a goal of completing a thought or story.  

Virtual Art Challenge: Divide your team into pairs and have them work together to create the most impressive whiteboard artwork they can in a limited time frame. For example, you have five minutes to create a work of art on the whiteboard with the theme “favorite foods” (you can insert any theme related, or not related, to your workplace). And then have a vote!

Related: Working Remote? These Are the Biggest Dos and Don’ts of Video …

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Running Out of Things to Say On Zoom? This Communication Expert Wants to Help.

April 24, 2020 10 min read

The  global health crisis has transformed innumerable social norms. But where everyday pleasantries are concerned, none has taken on more weight than the question: “How are you?” 

Pre-crisis, the question filled dead air in transient, superficial moments. Unless it was your mother or your best friend asking, the polite thing to do was to answer in the noncommittal spirit of the question and keep things moving. Hitting the right note required a cheerful but not overly affirming response like, “Alright!” “Pretty good!” “Can’t complain!” 

If you went too far in one direction — a deflated “Okay,” or a vigorous “Great!”— then the asking party would be forced to stop and say, “Just okay?” or “Why so great?” For us emotionally transparent types, slapping on the fake cheer was painful, but not as painful as explaining our existential Tuesday blues to Steve in accounting. So “Alright!” it was.

Then, everyone got marooned indefinitely in their respective quarantines. “Now when people are asking it they’re actually trying to get a real answer, because we’re not going anywhere,” says Jill Schiefelbein, a communication strategist and founder of consulting firm The Dynamic Communicator. “We’re sitting on the opposite ends of the video screen, and people are wanting more than one word in response. A lot of people are opening up a little more than they used to about how they’re really doing because it’s become acceptable to do so.”

It’s really great — necessary, in fact — that people are connecting on a deeper level. The thing is, many of us are connecting with a lot of people. There are morning meeting Zooms, and work happy hour Zooms, friend happy hour Zooms, surprise birthday Zooms, gender reveal Zooms, weekly family Zooms. Because everyone assumes no one is doing anything, we all end up doing quite a bit, and, as one friend told me, “Frankly, I’m running out of things to say.”

Schiefelbein is here to help. She says that living a zen Zoom life is a delicate balancing act. And the first thing we have to accept — if it wasn’t obvious — is that no, Zoom is not like hanging out in real life. 

“When we gather in person, there’s typically some kind of stimulus for conversation,” she says. “You would be physically sitting in a shared space. If you went out to a restaurant with your family you’d be commenting on the decor, on the menu, on the food. Then everyone would kind of rotate, talk about whatever was going on that week.”

The thing about chit chat, Schiefelbein says, is that for many people it’s a doorway into deeper connection. “When you hear the word small talk, you think of, you know, trivial questions that fill the space. But small talk is also our way of feeling someone else out and figuring out how much is safe to disclose.”

Give your virtual gatherings a little direction

So Schiefelbein’s first suggestion is to structure your hangouts around a common stimulus. “When we’re gathering virtually, the stimulus we have is only what we can see on the immediate camera. And that changes things. So you will see more success with gatherings that are around a specific theme, a specific challenge, a specific event, a specific activity.” 

For example, Schiefelbein’s friend group has a weekly cooking challenge, where they have to make the most creative possible dish using one common ingredient. “Whoever wins this week picks the ingredient for the next week, and even though we can’t taste each other’s dishes, we’re showing pictures, we’re eating together, we’re doing something around this common challenge.”

The most important thing about having a shared stimulus, Schiefelbein says, is that it doesn’t immediately force soul-searching conversations. “We’re talking about the dishes we made or the frustrations we had in getting ingredients or something very specific, but it doesn’t force us to dive down into the deep, deep levels of inner self-evaluation and reflection, which the majority of people are not comfortable doing.”

Related: 25 Ways to Make Your Zoom Meetings Awesome!

Instead of dumping frustrations, diffuse them

While many of us may not feel comfortable sharing our emotions right off the bat — maybe we don’t like being vulnerable or feeling like a burden to others — Schiefelbein says it can be good to create a structured space for venting. “The reality is we are doing double, triple, quadruple duty to what we used to do in our regular lives,” she says, “And we’re also lacking a big portion of socialization and stimulation that we’re used to. It’s probably not super safe to always be venting to the one person you’re quarantined with, or if you’re quarantining solo, then the one or two people you trust the most.” In other words, diffuse your frustrations strategically instead of dumping them on the same person all the time.

“I have a client in an industry that has declined more than the average industry has right now, and things are getting depressive,” Schiefelbein continues. “So I said listen, we’re in this time that is unparalleled, and sometimes we need to know our managers are experiencing crap too. So at the beginning of a meeting, just be honest and say, ‘Listen, everyone, I know these team meetings may be getting a little routine, but I also know that it’s important to check in. That being said, some things just plain suck right now. So I’m going to go first and I’m going to tell you something that is really frustrating me and each person on this line gets 45 seconds to vent about whatever you need, no matter how trivial it may seem. Before we do this, raise your hand if you agree that we are going to be judgment-free. All right?’ And then after you go around, you immediately follow that with something everyone is feeling positive about. Rapid fire around the room, things we are grateful for. Air conditioning, WiFi. A laptop with an extended battery, whatever it is.”

Hearing what a wider range of people are going through, as opposed to the one or two people you usually share your troubles with, can make you feel less alone.

Set boundaries around your time and energy

As noted earlier, everyone being stuck at home has, for many, resulted in a kind of enforced busyness. Because people assume you don’t have anything going on, they feel more entitled to your time. This is not good.

Schiefelbein says, “I have a client who was showing me her meeting calendar every day and she said, ‘I had a lot of meetings before this, but now that I’m not in an office, it is absurd how many people feel they need to meet.’ Her calendar is literally full from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. or later. She doesn’t even have time to get up and go to the bathroom cause these meetings are back to back. It’s not sustainable, and I know she’s not the only one facing this.”

There are a lot of conflicting feelings going around. People feel a responsibility to show up and be supportive for their loved ones, and in a workplace setting, to prove their worth. But all of these interactions can also be very draining, not to mention that getting anything else done requires double the usual concentration. “You have to be willing to step up and communicate what you need,” says Schiefelbein. “And right now I see a lot of people not being very honest about what they need.” 

If you have a standing weekly Zoom hang with your friends or family, Schiefelbein says it’s not a bad idea to set expectations. “Say, ‘Listen, can we agree that we all have the right to bail out of this if we just need some “me” time? But in the same vein, can everyone agree that if any one of us really needs everyone there that night, we are all going to make an effort?’”

Everyone is experiencing this time differently, so it’s important not make assumptions about what someone else is going through. It’s good to create opportunities for everyone to talk about their feelings, but it’s also okay to just do something fun and forget about our worries for a while. With that in mind, Schiefelbein put together a little list of suggestions for themes and activities to get you gabbing on personal and professional Zooms. 

Related: 6 Tricks You Need to Know About Zoom

Family and friend virtual gathering prompts

What’s your favorite vacation memory? Bonus points for bringing a picture or souvenir.

Meme or GIF scavenger hunt: Everyone in the gathering rotates picking a theme and everyone goes out to hunt the funniest meme they can find and bring back to share.

What’s the restaurant or bar you miss going to the most? Bonus if you can get that delivered or try to create that meal or cocktail at home.

Pick a game! There’s online trivia, Cards Against Humanity, escape room and many other options that you can play together, while apart. (Entrepreneur editor Jessica Thomas says her family has been using the game apps Quiplash and Kahoots and recommends the app House Party for connecting to all play games together.)

Sprinkles of fun for business team virtual meetings

Renaming Games: Have every team member rename themselves to their favorite…(childhood cartoon character, cereal, sports icon, movie star, bucket list destination, etc.–the possibilities are endless) and then call everyone by that name during the meeting. 

Creative Coffee: Have a coffee mug show-and-tell (or any beverage glass, for that matter). Most can find a fun, memorable or funny mug, glass or stein to use for a meeting. Show them off and let each team member share a memory associated with where they got it.

Improv Games: Get your team collaborating and thinking quickly by incorporating improvisation games into your meeting. An easy one to start with is “word at a time” where each person says one word and you have a goal of completing a thought or story.  

Virtual Art Challenge: Divide your team into pairs and have them work together to create the most impressive whiteboard artwork they can in a limited time frame. For example, you have five minutes to create a work of art on the whiteboard with the theme “favorite foods” (you can insert any theme related, or not related, to your workplace). And then have a vote!

Related: Working Remote? These Are the Biggest Dos and Don’ts of Video …

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Running Out of Things to Say On Zoom? This Communication Expert Wants to Help.

April 24, 2020 10 min read

The  global health crisis has transformed innumerable social norms. But where everyday pleasantries are concerned, none has taken on more weight than the question: “How are you?” 

Pre-crisis, the question filled dead air in transient, superficial moments. Unless it was your mother or your best friend asking, the polite thing to do was to answer in the noncommittal spirit of the question and keep things moving. Hitting the right note required a cheerful but not overly affirming response like, “Alright!” “Pretty good!” “Can’t complain!” 

If you went too far in one direction — a deflated “Okay,” or a vigorous “Great!”— then the asking party would be forced to stop and say, “Just okay?” or “Why so great?” For us emotionally transparent types, slapping on the fake cheer was painful, but not as painful as explaining our existential Tuesday blues to Steve in accounting. So “Alright!” it was.

Then, everyone got marooned indefinitely in their respective quarantines. “Now when people are asking it they’re actually trying to get a real answer, because we’re not going anywhere,” says Jill Schiefelbein, a communication strategist and founder of consulting firm The Dynamic Communicator. “We’re sitting on the opposite ends of the video screen, and people are wanting more than one word in response. A lot of people are opening up a little more than they used to about how they’re really doing because it’s become acceptable to do so.”

It’s really great — necessary, in fact — that people are connecting on a deeper level. The thing is, many of us are connecting with a lot of people. There are morning meeting Zooms, and work happy hour Zooms, friend happy hour Zooms, surprise birthday Zooms, gender reveal Zooms, weekly family Zooms. Because everyone assumes no one is doing anything, we all end up doing quite a bit, and, as one friend told me, “Frankly, I’m running out of things to say.”

Schiefelbein is here to help. She says that living a zen Zoom life is a delicate balancing act. And the first thing we have to accept — if it wasn’t obvious — is that no, Zoom is not like hanging out in real life. 

“When we gather in person, there’s typically some kind of stimulus for conversation,” she says. “You would be physically sitting in a shared space. If you went out to a restaurant with your family you’d be commenting on the decor, on the menu, on the food. Then everyone would kind of rotate, talk about whatever was going on that week.”

The thing about chit chat, Schiefelbein says, is that for many people it’s a doorway into deeper connection. “When you hear the word small talk, you think of, you know, trivial questions that fill the space. But small talk is also our way of feeling someone else out and figuring out how much is safe to disclose.”

Give your virtual gatherings a little direction

So Schiefelbein’s first suggestion is to structure your hangouts around a common stimulus. “When we’re gathering virtually, the stimulus we have is only what we can see on the immediate camera. And that changes things. So you will see more success with gatherings that are around a specific theme, a specific challenge, a specific event, a specific activity.” 

For example, Schiefelbein’s friend group has a weekly cooking challenge, where they have to make the most creative possible dish using one common ingredient. “Whoever wins this week picks the ingredient for the next week, and even though we can’t taste each other’s dishes, we’re showing pictures, we’re eating together, we’re doing something around this common challenge.”

The most important thing about having a shared stimulus, Schiefelbein says, is that it doesn’t immediately force soul-searching conversations. “We’re talking about the dishes we made or the frustrations we had in getting ingredients or something very specific, but it doesn’t force us to dive down into the deep, deep levels of inner self-evaluation and reflection, which the majority of people are not comfortable doing.”

Related: 25 Ways to Make Your Zoom Meetings Awesome!

Instead of dumping frustrations, diffuse them

While many of us may not feel comfortable sharing our emotions right off the bat — maybe we don’t like being vulnerable or feeling like a burden to others — Schiefelbein says it can be good to create a structured space for venting. “The reality is we are doing double, triple, quadruple duty to what we used to do in our regular lives,” she says, “And we’re also lacking a big portion of socialization and stimulation that we’re used to. It’s probably not super safe to always be venting to the one person you’re quarantined with, or if you’re quarantining solo, then the one or two people you trust the most.” In other words, diffuse your frustrations strategically instead of dumping them on the same person all the time.

“I have a client in an industry that has declined more than the average industry has right now, and things are getting depressive,” Schiefelbein continues. “So I said listen, we’re in this time that is unparalleled, and sometimes we need to know our managers are experiencing crap too. So at the beginning of a meeting, just be honest and say, ‘Listen, everyone, I know these team meetings may be getting a little routine, but I also know that it’s important to check in. That being said, some things just plain suck right now. So I’m going to go first and I’m going to tell you something that is really frustrating me and each person on this line gets 45 seconds to vent about whatever you need, no matter how trivial it may seem. Before we do this, raise your hand if you agree that we are going to be judgment-free. All right?’ And then after you go around, you immediately follow that with something everyone is feeling positive about. Rapid fire around the room, things we are grateful for. Air conditioning, WiFi. A laptop with an extended battery, whatever it is.”

Hearing what a wider range of people are going through, as opposed to the one or two people you usually share your troubles with, can make you feel less alone.

Set boundaries around your time and energy

As noted earlier, everyone being stuck at home has, for many, resulted in a kind of enforced busyness. Because people assume you don’t have anything going on, they feel more entitled to your time. This is not good.

Schiefelbein says, “I have a client who was showing me her meeting calendar every day and she said, ‘I had a lot of meetings before this, but now that I’m not in an office, it is absurd how many people feel they need to meet.’ Her calendar is literally full from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. or later. She doesn’t even have time to get up and go to the bathroom cause these meetings are back to back. It’s not sustainable, and I know she’s not the only one facing this.”

There are a lot of conflicting feelings going around. People feel a responsibility to show up and be supportive for their loved ones, and in a workplace setting, to prove their worth. But all of these interactions can also be very draining, not to mention that getting anything else done requires double the usual concentration. “You have to be willing to step up and communicate what you need,” says Schiefelbein. “And right now I see a lot of people not being very honest about what they need.” 

If you have a standing weekly Zoom hang with your friends or family, Schiefelbein says it’s not a bad idea to set expectations. “Say, ‘Listen, can we agree that we all have the right to bail out of this if we just need some “me” time? But in the same vein, can everyone agree that if any one of us really needs everyone there that night, we are all going to make an effort?’”

Everyone is experiencing this time differently, so it’s important not make assumptions about what someone else is going through. It’s good to create opportunities for everyone to talk about their feelings, but it’s also okay to just do something fun and forget about our worries for a while. With that in mind, Schiefelbein put together a little list of suggestions for themes and activities to get you gabbing on personal and professional Zooms. 

Related: 6 Tricks You Need to Know About Zoom

Family and friend virtual gathering prompts

What’s your favorite vacation memory? Bonus points for bringing a picture or souvenir.

Meme or GIF scavenger hunt: Everyone in the gathering rotates picking a theme and everyone goes out to hunt the funniest meme they can find and bring back to share.

What’s the restaurant or bar you miss going to the most? Bonus if you can get that delivered or try to create that meal or cocktail at home.

Pick a game! There’s online trivia, Cards Against Humanity, escape room and many other options that you can play together, while apart. (Entrepreneur editor Jessica Thomas says her family has been using the game apps Quiplash and Kahoots and recommends the app House Party for connecting to all play games together.)

Sprinkles of fun for business team virtual meetings

Renaming Games: Have every team member rename themselves to their favorite…(childhood cartoon character, cereal, sports icon, movie star, bucket list destination, etc.–the possibilities are endless) and then call everyone by that name during the meeting. 

Creative Coffee: Have a coffee mug show-and-tell (or any beverage glass, for that matter). Most can find a fun, memorable or funny mug, glass or stein to use for a meeting. Show them off and let each team member share a memory associated with where they got it.

Improv Games: Get your team collaborating and thinking quickly by incorporating improvisation games into your meeting. An easy one to start with is “word at a time” where each person says one word and you have a goal of completing a thought or story.  

Virtual Art Challenge: Divide your team into pairs and have them work together to create the most impressive whiteboard artwork they can in a limited time frame. For example, you have five minutes to create a work of art on the whiteboard with the theme “favorite foods” (you can insert any theme related, or not related, to your workplace). And then have a vote!

Related: Working Remote? These Are the Biggest Dos and Don’ts of Video …

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