#funniest answer is sha hualing

[waitineedaname]

I keep thinking about that Tinder Girl text convo and imagining cumplane arguing over each other's names because bingyuan are getting married and need to put Moshang on the invite list but Shen Yuan only knows them as "Airplane" and "Airplane's boyfriend" and Shang Qinghua genuinely mistakes Shen Yuan for "Shen Qingqiu" because he only ever refers to him as "Cucumber bro" and never got his first name from him. Think that bit where everytime he's about to say his name a loud and inopportune noise drowns him out and Airplane refuses to keep asking.

PLEASE LSDKJFLKSDJF i love that in this scenario they're not the ones getting married. it's more like your best man threatening to not come to the wedding because you don't know his name sldkjflksdjf now im imagining sqh being like I OBJECT in the middle of the wedding just because his best bro doesn't know his name (never mind that he also doesn't remember his best bro's name). I also love that binghe and mobei-jun aren't helpful in this scenario, presumably because shen yuan and sqh get so focused on bothering each other about it that they. forget they can just ask their partners what their friends' names are.

[fluffyblue-multifandommess]

#this one is a real thinker in the 'these are all bad' realm which makes it a very good poll imo#here are my thoughts:#okay so the love interests here are somewhat better in that they'll be so focused getting back to their true loves to notice you#so hua cheng and luo binghe are like. really annoying to be trapped with but they'll be trying to get out and then sulking if it doesn't wo#work*. Personally I don't wanna be in that room but there are worse options#i was just saying to a friend yesterday that I would hate having to hang out with wwx which I think remains true#if you want an insane brainstorming partner. listen. I support your choices but it couldn't be me#also I imagine you'd have to face some combination of lwj/jc/etc once you get out and I don't want to do that either#mobei jun isn't a bad option bc there are decent odds he would just portal out of there and leave you in solitude#but if that fails I imagine he would next opt for killing you to see if that solves the locked room problem. so. well.#I think Jin Ling is a fine option tbh. He'll be annoying but mostly by nature of being a teen.#if there are board games or something in the room you can easily entertain yourselves and while he'll kinda want to get out#he's also used to getting rescued so he'll be alright for a day#you do have to also probably interact w his uncles when you get out though but they'll probably be grateful you babysat#jiang cheng is my personal choice bc he WILL kill me but it will be the funniest death bc it'll be bc I tried to psychoanalyse/bond w him#lang qianqiu i had to look up on the tgcf wiki so i think it'd just be awkward to have to interact w him bc i'd be like#'uhhhh are you the dude whose whole life was a lie? oh did you not know that?' and then fake being asleep for 23.5 hours#sha hualing is a decent option if you want to get a demon gf out of the experience probably#but she may also try to kill you to solve the locked room puzzle. who can say#qi rong is my backup choice IF i have access to the tumblr fanart of him queering heterosexuality by being a single dad girlboss#and he is tied up and unable to harm me or protest in any way#if you're strong enough to make it into a 'he's locked in this room with ME' situation I think that's also prime comedy content.#anyway. I think a solid half of these choices end up w u dead due to their escape attempts#but due to the fact that they're all wrong answers: there's no wrong answer#this was very fun thanks for proposing this question op#cql#svsss#tgcf

tags via @kiwimetry

hey not to be weird but i would die for u

You are locked in, just the two of you, with no possibility of escape and no way to communicate with the outside.

This menu of terrible options brought to you by me asking myself: "which danmei characters would be the most unbearable to deal with"

(I still love them all but good gods. can you imagine.)

[gurggggleburgle]

I'm going to ask that once more people please look up what a surname is because please baby stop trying to tell me Mobei is his first name.

It's not.

This also gives me an excuse to make jokes about how we also apply this naming convention to demons specifically while completely ignoring Little Palace Mistress and Old Palace Master and how both of these characters don't have real names and are never addressed as such.

Tianlang-Jun is also probably not his full given name in the same sense as Mobei-Jun. Tianlang might just be his clan name or a title he gained in the same way and manner as Luo Binghe being addressed as Junshang or Hanguang-Jun is a meaningful name with purpose.

But we understand it's a title. A formal way to address someone.

So outside of Zhuzhi who was gifted a name and title (which for the record if the man moved up in station might be subject to change to Jun as well because Lang is a honorific of position) it might just be a complete cases not of demon's don't have last names but politeness requires addressing your lords properly. Sha Hualing probably has a title she is meant to come into but is never relevant. Plus she's a main stay waifu so she has to have a name and a full character.

also and this leads to the funniest answer, which for me makes it probably true, within canonical PIDW lore the characters all have overly literal and really dumb names and given what we know about Shang Qinghua I think it is safe to assume the reason so many men outside of Cang Qiong mountain don't have names unless they were meant to seem kinda cool before getting trounced is he didn't care.

Shang Qinghua with this bloated mess of a book fell back on having overly literal names for everyone and put a lot of effort into a few favorites and the people he had time for and just gave up on everyone else.

We love Mobei-Jun and so did our hamster but in PIDW he was likely a glorified side character who showed up on occasion and got trounced maybe a few times in far later chapters to show this time it's a REAL threat before Luo Binghe took care of it. It probably never became important or relevant to even bring up that he had a birth name and what it was. He's just Mr. King Mobei my dudes. All that matters.

Meanwhile for minor minibosses or characters meant to get one shotted why even bother with a cool name. Why waste it. Sure elder hammer works. It's literal and dumb but he's gonna be there for one chapter and that's it. They're not a girl with massive honkin tiddies some real jiggly mountains that are going to be important for an arc of the plot.

I think the real reason demon culture revolves around naming your kid something literal that feels meaningful and why everyone is only using titles is that Shang Qinghua was tired and didn't give a shit. So if a character has a fully fleshed out name it means they are important to the plot or that he had time to think of one.

And the system being the system just ran with it. full hog decided that was how names worked and how people would greet one another and Shang Qinghua who wrote this disaster has to live with another poor decision.

I think it be funny if Shang Qinghua did make a REAL name for Mobei-jun but man immediately was like that's too dumb even for me. And proceeded to pretend it never existed.

But it sits there haunting him. Mobei-jun's name is like a federal level secret that nobody knows and then one day during a little spat or moment of passion he just says it.

And Mobei-Jun who has long since refused to let anyone know or hear this name is for the first in a very long time confused at what his husband knows. And proceeds to grill for this info only for Qinghua to just say it seemed like a good idea at the time.