#funky computer man

[cyan-the-computer]

Tv head pfp and powerplant content fuck yeah. We're friends now there is no negotiating -ruikasanrobots

Friends? I guess I'm not being given a choice, aren't I? /silly

Also, my apologies for the terrible amount of time it took to make a response to this, I suppose the Lack of Motivation™ was ensuing for a while there.

[screechingfromthevoid]

I think Dorian knows Orym is in love with him. I don't think it is a great unknown. He's not biting his nails wondering if Orym feels the same way as him.

I think the problem is that Dorian doesn't know how to approach it at all. For so many reasons. There are so many reasons why Dorian has been keeping all of this close to his chest.

First and foremost I think he wants to be respectful of Will and the place he holds in Orym's heart. Dorian in no way would blame Orym for never moving on. He'd be sad and disappointed but he'd understand. And he understands that he's still mourning Will. So he doesn't want to initiate something Orym isn't ready for.

Second, they're in the middle of a war. There isn't time for this. There isn't time for dead brothers and profound crushes. How could he distract Orym from the world ending? He's their little tank. He's their tactician. He's can get his hard and throw it back just as easily. They need his head clear. And I don't think Dorian would ever forgive himself if something were to happen because Orym was too preoccupied.

Third, is speculative, with the context Robbie has given us, marrying a man would not go over well in the royal family. Not because they're particularly homophobic. But, assuming they're both cis, (headcanons aside, I don't think critical role is there yet), the blood line would end. And royal families are big on lines of succession. Hence Zeru begging Dorian to come back. So I'm not sure adopting is in the realm of possibilities. How could Dorian let Orym love him? How could he give into his feelings? How could they live happily ever after when Dorian needs to go back home? Sit on a throne? Produce an heir and a spare? He couldn't possibly start something with him only for it to end in tragedy. He couldn't do that to Oym.

There are probably more reasons for all this but these are the ones that swim in my head the most. And idk I think Dorian wants to love Orym loudly and proudly but... The world is ending, ya know?

[yours-the-author]

You better watch out,

You Better Watch Out,

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,

[phaethonzx]

Ra Moon and Star Dream are literally the same character and that's funny

Also, the Archie Comics adaptation of SAR came out 3 years before PR.

[languor-em]

I BEAT MARGIT FUCKIN--- SHAKING SO BAD RIGHT NOW!!!! LETS GO!!!!

I wound up giving in and grabbing Margit's shackle and I felt,,, SO BAD every time I used it,,, that's my fucking BABYGIRL and I was using something that probably deeply traumatized him to beat his ass into submission!! Then I sicked my dogs on him!!! I am a horrible person!!!

Enemies to lovers arc.... mayhaps? 😳 Only fanfic can bring me the Tarnished x Morgott content I so desperately crave,,, and I'm so very bad at long form fics. But for him??? maybe I could make myself do it.

[im-smart-i-swear]

Local Guy Rediscovers The Joys Of Paint, Goes Apeshit, more at 11

[sunkingwrites]

going to help out at the school my mum teaches at- yahoo!! :D

[cars-go-neeooom]

okay so, i’m left handed and was thinking about how tom cruise is left handed and how it fits maverick so well and i started thinking about everyone else, so these are my headcanons:

- Mav: left handed, i can’t exactly describe why he is so left handed core but he just is, you know? he’s always complaining about smudging his writing and not being able to use scissors

- Ice: right handed, this man is the definition of a right handed person and he definitely has really good handwriting, and definitely prefers handwriting over typing on a computer

- Slider: left handed, now this one is a lil funky but hear me out, he was right handed but broke his wrist when he was a kid so he had to learn to write with his left and now he’s just used to it

- Hollywood: right handed, i really have no idea about this but he just doesn’t give lefty vibes, maybe because he’s just so normal man to me

- Wolf: ambidextrous, in my mind wolf and mav are the same guy in different fonts, very energetic and always itching to do something with their hands, he thinks it’s the coolest thing and tells every new person he meets

- Goose: right handed, once again a very normal dude, also i think mav and carole would both be lefties and goose would be the calm that balances them out, he tried to train himself to write with his left hand cuz he thought it was cooler, but it never worked

- Carole: left handed, y’all cannot tell me this woman is not left handed, the vibes are immaculate and i think being left handed makes people more fun and she’s fun so boom

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Backburner 1

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: your boss is easy going until he's not. 

Characters: Sam Wilson, this reader is known as Dizzie.

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜

💼Part of the Bad Bosses AU💼

“Argh,” Sam’s grunt precedes him into the office. You look over from the cluster of desks, the lot of assistants in their corner, “Diz.”

You hop up at his beck and call as always. His gym bag is on his elbow as he rubs his hip and grits his teeth. You hurry over and grab the duffel before it can drop as he punches into the code on his door. He enters his office and you follow, holding the sweaty bag by its handles. You’ll bring it home to wash the contents. 

“Good workout?” You ask. 

“Stretched my hamstring,” he falls into his chair and rubs his thigh. “Protein, please, Diz.” 

“Of course, er, your sister called again.” 

“Yes, I know. I’ll be there,” he sighs, “she thinks I’d forget my head if it wasn’t on my neck.” 

You chuckle. Sam’s a nice guy. He’s the only manager in the office who doesn’t make you call him Mister and he likes to joke. 

“I told her you make sure that’s always on straight,” he kids. 

“Aw, sir,” you grin, “erm, so... I was hoping to ask you something...” 

“Can you ask me over my protein shake?” 

“Oh, yeah! Sorry! I’m so forgetful. Yes, I’ll go get it right now. Funky monkey or strawberry swirl?” 

“How about the orange blast. Something fresh,” he suggests. 

“Coming right up,” you nod and twirl out of the off, your wide legged pants billow around you. 

You drop the gym bag under your desk and swipe up your wallet and phone. You keep them chained together to keep from losing either. If you lost both, that would be an even bigger disaster. You put your computer to sleep so the screen saver whooshes around and you leave the other assistants. 

You head down to the lobby and up the block to the smoothie place. You order a double protein kick in the orange blast and wait patiently as you bounce on your feet. You check your phone; the group chat is blowing up today. It was so quiet for so long you were starting to get nervous. It wouldn’t be the first time you were ditched. 

You claim the protein shake and rush back out, barely dodging a man with a sweaty mustache as he enters in a muscle shirt that shows a lot of his chest and sides. You wouldn’t be caught dead in that but he sure does have the physique to carry it. He glowers as you dash around him and you leave him behind to be grumpy at his smoothie. 

Back in the office, you find Sam stretching out his leg. He looks a bit silly on the floor like that. You step up just next to him. 

“Hey, diz,” he says, “can you push my leg up higher?” He asks as he shifts onto his back and raises his foot up. “Don’t stop until I say so.” 

“Oh, sir, I’d hate to hurt you.” 

“Pfft, as if, Dizzie, come on,” he urges you, “put that on my desk please.” 

You relent and put the shake on his desk then return to grab his ankle. You push his leg up, his tailored pants resisting the strain, and he groans. 

“Ah, yeah, that’s it,” he puffs, “just... gimme a hand.” 

He waves his fingers under his leg and you give him your left hand as your other stays latched on his ankle. You wonder what people would think if they walked by in that moment. He guides your touch to his thigh, “feel that knot, I just need you to push.” 

You dig your thumb into the lump you feel under the muscle. He lets out a gurgly noise and drops his head back. He spreads his hand wide on his stomach and hisses through his teeth. 

“Keep going,” he encourages you, “oh, tell me... what did you wanna talk about?” 

“Oh, errrrrrr,” you struggle to remember what you meant to ask before you ran off to get the shake. It’s a lot to think about with his foot almost in your face. “Yes, sir, I... tomorrow morning, I might be a little late.” 

“That’s cool,” he accepts easily.  

“I’ll skip lunch.” 

“Hey, I might work out but I’m no tight ass,” he retorts, “alright, that’s good.” 

You gently let his leg down and back away. He sits up and rolls his shoulders. As he stands, he fixes the tuck of his shirt, his sleeves tight around his thick arms, and his pants taut on his upper legs and pelvis. The time he spends in the gym definitely shows. He’s hard in all the places you’re soft. 

“So, any reason for the lateness?” He wonders. 

“Oh, my sister asked me to pop by tonight. She lives a ways away so... might have to drive back tomorrow.” 

“Ah, mm,” he hums thoughtfully, “no girls’ night fun?” 

“Not tonight,” you smile, “but soon I think.” 

“Ooo, cocktails?” He goads. He’s always curious about your nights out. There aren’t very many, to be fair. 

“Yeah, probably.” 

“Retro’s again? I still haven’t been. Maybe I should take Sarah,” he suggests, “god knows she could loosen up.” 

“Sisters,” you tilt your head. 

“Huh, yeah, pain in the ass,” he agrees. 

He goes to his desk and grabs the smoothie. He takes a giant slurp, tasting it thoroughly as he swishes it around in his cheeks. He hums and doffs the cup. 

“Delicious,” he praises. 

“Well, anyway, sir, I’ll text in the morning if I’m going to be late. I’ll get back to it. Unless, there’s something else?” 

“Not right now, trust me, you’ll know if I need anything,” he shoots you with a finger gun as he sits, letting out another grunt. He rolls closer to his desk as you turn away and you hear him mutter, “damn leg day.” 

[boqvistsbabe]

truth or dare - matthew tkachuk

A/N: this is for the summer fic exchange!! I got the chance to write for @ohmyeyesmyeyes as a part of @wyattjohnston 's summer fic exchange. I was pretty nervous because tbh I havent written in so long mostly because of writers block, but here it is! Super excited to have been able to take part in this especially cause it got me out of a writer's block lol. I absolutely loved doing this. Also in this Matt and McDavid are friends. Hope you enjoy it!!

Warnings: Some swearing but I think that's it! (also my computer started acting weird halfway through so the formatting got a little funky so apologies for that)

Wordcount: 4,705

So it finally happened. Matthew had won the Stanley Cup. And you somehow found yourself driving from St Louis down to the Lake of the Ozarks to celebrate with him and his family. 

To be completely honest you don’t know why you were invited, Matt and you texted every once in a while for birthdays and other holidays, maybe congrats on a game or promotion, and maybe saw each other when he visited home occasionally but nothing like when you were kids growing up together. You were in the same grade as Brady and quickly became best friends with him. With how much family means to the Tkachuks, you were easily brought in as one of their own. Being brought on family vacations, going to the lake each summer, and traveling to the boys’ and Taryn’s games was a big part of your younger years. Though you were best friends with Brady, there was always something about Matt that drew you to him. He treated you just like one of his siblings always teasing and trying to beat you in games but as you got older things changed. You’re not exactly sure when or why but he stopped messing around with you so much, he still hung out with you but when it was just the two of you it was less teasing and more deep talks about the future and what it held for both of you. Of course, you ended up having a little crush on him, he was too nice and familiar for you to not. Even though you never told a single soul about it, you had a suspicion Chantal knew anyway.

When he made it to the NHL he moved and you stayed in St Louis you kept in touch, making weekly calls and texting all of the time. Then he got a girlfriend and you started hearing from him less and less. You understood of course, things change as you grow up and life goes on. Though you still stayed close with Brady and Taryn when they moved on to college and the league.

Flashforward to playoffs this year, you were watching whatever games of Matt’s you could like always and then the Panthers won, and you got a text from Matt saying you should join the family at the lake to celebrate “like old times”. You had asked Taryn if she thought it was a good idea when you FaceTimed the night after and she told you of course and looked at you like you were stupid for suggesting otherwise. She didn’t know about the silly little crush you still had on him so of course she would think that. Brady knew though, not fully but you slipped up one time when you were drunk and he won’t let you live it down. 

So here you were taking time off work for the first time in forever, driving two hours to get to the lake to celebrate a man you were probably in love with. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Matthew’s POV

“Brady would you stop that!” I was fed up with him bugging me right now. Everyone had made it to the lake so far, Sasha, McDavid, all the other guys their plus ones, and of course my family. The only one left to show up was Y/N. At first, I wasn’t even sure she would accept my offer. I knew she had been working a bunch and honestly didn’t know if she was keeping up with hockey anymore. She liked it a lot when we were younger but things can change. And with us not being super close anymore I didn’t know if it would be worth it to her. Thankfully according to Brady, she left like two and a half hours ago so she should be here any minute. 

But Brady won’t leave me alone about the whole Y/N thing. I don’t see what the problem was, I wanted to see an old friend and this was a good excuse to do so. Well, that’s exactly what I had told my family, it’s not entirely untrue. I just didn’t tell them about how when I was lifting that cup in the air I couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to have her there with me. When I first made it to the show I was still hung up on her so I dated around to distract myself. Never anything too serious, the whole point was just to get my mind off of her so I could focus on hockey I wasn’t trying to get caught up on someone else too. Of course, it never really worked, which is why I got up the courage to even ask her to come. As soon as I got back to the locker room after that game and had a moment to myself, I texted her. Brady was there and being nosey as usual saw my text from over my shoulder and won’t stop bugging me about it. 

My plan was just to have her come here to just see her again. Yeah maybe partially because I want to see if that little spark is still there, but also just because I hope we can get closer again. I hope we can.

~~~~~~~~

Y/N POV 

You pull in front of the garage, put the car in park, and give yourself to breathe for a second. The second doesn’t last long though.

“Y/N!!! You’re here!!” Taryn was running up to your car with Brady right behind her. And there he was, Matthew Tkachuk standing there in all his Stanley Cup Champion glory on the porch watching his siblings pull you from your car and into a big hug.

“Matt you can’t just stand there and watch them maul me and not even try to do anything!” You shouted over to him even as you squeezed Brady and Taryn tighter. It had been months since you had seen either of them in person and you were planning on savoring every moment you had with them, and Matt before you all had to return to your busy lives. 

Matt started making his way to the three of you a big smile on his face, “Ahh you’re right, I’ve got to join in.” 

Next thing you knew, another set of arms was wrapped around you. Maybe Matt was right, it was gonna be just like old times. They all let you go and you turned to give Taryn her own hug first.

“Hey kid, I missed you.” Somehow it feels like she’s gotten taller since the last time you saw her. Taryn responds with a, “You’re not that much older… but I missed you too.” 

Brady’s next and you get a hug and a big paw messing up your hair like he always did when you were younger. When he lets you go you turn to the only one left, Matt who’s standing there smiling at your interactions with his siblings. You’re trying to fix your hair from Brady messing it up and he reaches over and tucks a piece of hair back to help out. Then Brady says something about helping Mom with dinner and drags Taryn along with him. 

You mumble a thanks to Matt and he opens up his arms and you step into them. 

“Thanks for coming, it means a lot,” Is mumbled into your hair. 

“Yeah of course Superstar.” The old nickname falls out of your mouth unintentionally.  

“Oh my gosh, I’m never going to escape that am I?” You’re still hugging him.

“Definitely not now with the Cup to prove it.” He laughs but is still hugging you too. 

You take a step back and wipe your hands on your shorts not knowing what to do with them. 

“Alright let’s get your stuff and then I’ll help you get it inside, you’re staying in Taryn’s room since she’ll be in the basement with her friends.” 

“Alright works for me.” 

~~~~~~

As you make the trek up the two flights of stairs to the upper floor you’re grateful for Matt taking your bags. You forgot how steep the stairs were. You make it to Taryn’s room before you notice that the corner room, the one next to yours has plastic covering the doorway. Without turning you ask him what happened.

“Oh a big storm came through a couple of weeks ago and a tree fell on that corner of the house.” He shrugs and reaches around you to open the door to Taryn’s room. 

“Isn’t that your room though?” You haven’t moved into the room yet.

“Uh yeah, I’m just staying on the couch and keeping my stuff in Brady’s room.” He nudges you forward and you move into the room, setting your backpack on the bed before turning to him.

“Why don’t you take Brady’s room and make him sleep on the couch? This is like your thing, you shouldn’t be sleeping on the couch.” 

Matt shrugs, “ His girlfriend is staying here too so they get a room and I’m fine with the couch.” 

“Matt you should sleep here and I’ll take the couch and leave my stuff with Taryn and the girls.” You move to grab your stuff from him, but he doesn’t let you.

“Absolutely not, you’re a guest and Mom would kill me.” He’s got a frown on his face that you refuse to admit to yourself is cute. 

“I don’t care, this is your gig I’m taking the couch.”  With that, you run out of the room and bolt down the stairs and Matt is hot on your heels as soon as he figures out what you’re doing. 

It’s not hard to locate Chantal and Keith, they’re out on the back deck grilling and watching the kids (aka Taryn and her friends) play with a volleyball in the yard. It seems like some of Matt’s friends from hockey are here too because they’re taking up the chairs scattered around the deck. But you barely pay attention to them, you’re on a mission.

“Chantal can you please tell your son to liste-” You’re cut off by a strong arm around your waist and a hand over your mouth. 

“Mom don’t listen to her please.” Matt is out of breath behind you, holding tight cause he knows as soon as he lets go you’ll convince his mom to agree with you like always.

“You two are already back at it huh? Hi Y/N it's good to see you, honey. What am I trying to agree to?”  She looks amused at the spectacle of you two. She’s used to it, this is exactly something that would happen whenever you wanted one of the boys to listen to you when you were kids. You would run to Chantal and get her on your side without letting her know the real context so you would get your way. She thought it was hilarious and always sided with you because you were always right. 

“Mom she’s trying to take the couch and make me sleep in Taryn’s room.” You lick his hand and he immediately retracts it and Keith laughs. He doesn’t let go of you though.

“Y/N you’re a guest you know better.” She’s giving you a look and you know you’ve already lost.

“But Chantal it's Superstar’s celebration, not mine! And he has camp starting here soon, we can’t have him in pain from sleeping on a couch.” You heard a few chuckles from the guys at the nickname. 

“If it’s that big of a deal to both of you just share the bed, it’s a king and it’s not like you haven’t shared before. Don’t give me those looks, you think I didn’t know about your little sleepovers?” You feel your face heat and refuse to look at Matt’s friends who are now 100% interested in what’s going on, “ I don’t care what y’all do but I don’t want to deal with arguing right now, it’s day 1. Now shoo and get stuff to set the table.”

Without speaking he lets go of you and you both turn and walk right back into the house and into the kitchen, the sound of laughter following you. The next couple of seconds are completely silent before you both burst into laughter. You make eye contact across the island and start laughing again. Together you get the tables set for dinner. 

“You know she’s not wrong, it’s a good compromise.” You look over to where Matt is perched on the counter. 

“What?” He can’t be suggesting what you think he is, if he is it’s a bad idea. 

“We could share, the bed is big enough and we’re both adults.” He shrugs, “ I don’t see why not. As long as you’re fine with it, I’m fine with it.” 

It’s a bad idea and you should say no, “Yeah I’m fine with it.” So your mouth and brain were not on the same page at all. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You’ve forgotten about that agreement until everyone is headed to their rooms or cabins and you’re standing in the doorway of the room watching Matt put his stuff up. You tell yourself it’s fine and move to grab your pajamas out of your bag.

“What side of the bed do you want?” Matt pops his head out the bathroom doorway to look at you.

“I don’t really care.” You shrug, you’d prefer the side by the window but you weren’t going to say that.

“If I remember right you like to sleep closer to the window, so I’ll take the side by the door.” Matt winks before shutting the door to change.

You’re not going to think anything of the wink or of the fact that he remembers little things about you. Instead, you plug your charger in on that side of the bed and set your water on that side table. When Matt gets out you take your turn. You change first then brush your teeth and wash your face before heading out to the bedroom. Of course, you manage to open the door right as Matt tugs off his shirt. You pause for just a second, taking in his muscular back and arms. When he starts to turn around you look away and start heading to your side of the bed. You don’t know why you were so shocked at him taking off his shirt, he always slept without a shirt on. Maybe it just felt a little different now, you stop that train of thought before it finishes leaving the station. 

You grab two of the big decorative pillows that Matt threw on the floor and place them next to each other in the middle of the bed.

“Really? I’m not gonna give you cooties I promise.” That teasing glint is in Matt’s eyes, “I’ll stick to my side of the bed don’t worry.” 

You roll your eyes before flopping into bed and snuggling up under the covers. 

~~~~~~~~

Waking up the next morning with a heavy arm draped around your waist wasn’t something your brain was able to process that early. Turning you realized it was Matt who was all cuddled up close. You try to wiggle away but it doesn’t work and he just holds on tighter. Sighing you reach over to grab your phone. You pull up the text thread to Brady and snap a quick picture of Matt snuggled up with you.

Y/N: he didn’t stay on his side of the bed and now he won’t let me go.

Brady: don’t pretend like you’re not enjoying it, also you should be thanking me rn 

Y/N: ???

Brady: you forgot to close the door last night, got this on my way to the kitchen. Dw i was up first and i shut the door

Attached to his message is a picture from the doorway of the room, and it clearly shows you half lying on top of Matt, face tucked into his neck and his arm wrapped around you. Before thinking better of it, you save the picture to your photos. 

Y/N: well fuck, thanks

Brady: yw, breakfast is ready when y’all are

Y/N: perfect thanks

Turning around you poke Matt until he stirs.

“What do you want, it's too early for this,” his eyes aren’t even open.

“So much for staying on your side of the bed and its 9:30 its not that early.” You tease, poking him again.

Matt’s eyes flutter open and he takes in the situation. Once he realizes his arm is around you, he quickly retracts it and brings his hands up to rub his eyes.

“Whoops sorry.” He doesn’t sound sorry at all.

“Uh huh sure. I’m gonna go get breakfast.” And with that, you roll out of bed, grab your phone and water, and slip out of the room.

~~~~~~~~

Matt’s POV

“Fuuucccckkkk.” I stretch out across the bed. I didn’t intentionally cuddle Y/N last night but oh well. She’s a good cuddler. Maybe I can convince her to cuddle tonight. Actually, maybe I need to stop thinking like that. Sitting up I grab my phone and see a notification from Brady.

Brady: if you don’t want everyone knowing about your little crush maybe you should remember to shut the door 

Right after the message is a picture of Y/N lying on top of me with her face tucked in my neck and a leg hooked around mine, I assume she wasn’t aware of this but if she was she conveniently left that out when teasing me about breaking the pillow wall.

Matt: shit did anyone else see, i don’t want anyone to bug her about it

Brady: nah just me, i shut the door on the way downstairs and I was the first one up.

Matt: K thx, she said breakfast is ready?

Brady: ya, get your ass down here and eat its boat day

Groaning I push myself up from the bed and head downstairs. And if I saved the picture to my phone who can blame me, it’s cute. 

~~~~~~~~

Brady POV

If these two don’t get their shit figured out before the end of the trip I’m gonna scream. They obviously like each other, and I know for sure Y/N has liked him for years and I’m pretty sure it’s the same for him. They just need to do something about it.

~~~~~~~~

Y/N POV

Boat day means us “kids” are out being stupid and Chantal and Keith stay home and get to relax by themselves. It also means you get to drive the boat because that’s your favorite part besides the actual wake surfing. And Matt and Brady know not to argue with you about driving. With so many people though you had to rent a second boat. This meant Brady and his girlfriend were on the boat with Taryn and her friends and you got stuck with Matt and his friends. Not that it would matter too much because you’d stick close together for the most part. 

When you left the dock Matt was sitting in the back with his friends but now he’s moving up to sit in the chair by you. He doesn’t say anything, it's far too loud to have a conversation right now. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Matt’s POV 

I can’t stop looking at her. I’m trying not to be too obvious, but she looks so pretty. The wind is pulling the hair out of her braid and the blue of her swimsuit looks so good on her. And even though I know she grew up on the lake with us, her knowing all about the boat and loving to drive it is so attractive for some reason.

Once we get far enough out she gets the boat stopped so we can set everything up. The guys have already decided who’s going in what order so I’ll probably stick up here with her while she’s driving. Even though she didn’t seem to mind about getting stuck with us I still feel a little bad. Plus I like being in her presence. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N POV

“You know you can hang with the guys, they came here to see you.” You don’t turn to look at him, instead choosing to keep watching the boys get set up. 

“Yeah, I know but so are you. And I Like spending time with you so,” he just shrugs. 

So throughout the laps of the boys going one after another, he sat there next to you while you drove. Finally, it was his turn and then you were up next. And this continued till lunch when you all took a break to eat before starting back up again. 

It was the last run for everyone and Matt was up and you somehow ended up in the back watching him because one of the guys wanted to drive a lap. However, this lap was a little different. Matt ended up losing his balance and falling off the board but when that happened the board ended up catching his head as he fell into the water.

The boat stopped and he popped up like nothing was wrong but he had blood dripping down the side of his face starting at his eyebrow. 

“Matt you good man?” Came from McDavid. 

“Yeah, the board just barely caught me.” He seemed fine but you still wanted to make sure.

“Come up here I’m gonna check that out and make sure you’re actually okay.” You told him gesturing up front where the first aid box was. He followed without complaint. You motioned for him to sit in the captain's chair.

“I’m just gonna clean it up and put a bandage on it but once we get back to the house I might have to get something better okay?” You grabbed the kit and got an alcohol wipe out to clean up the blood. His curls had fallen in the way so you brushed them back before cleaning him up. He sat there without complaint, even though the alcohol probably burned a lot, looking up at you as you held his face to keep him still while you doctored him up. The cut wasn’t as bad as you originally thought, but it was still pretty bad. You grabbed the biggest band-aid you found and gently placed it over the cut. 

“Alright good to go.” You declared standing back up. 

“What no kiss for my boo-boo?” Matt teased.

Without even thinking about it you leaned down and kissed the band-aid before walking to the back of the boat to get ready for your last turn. Not even realizing the look Matt is giving you or the fact that Taryn is recording it all from where they stopped not too far away to make sure everything was okay. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After dinner that night it was time for the firepit. Chantal and Keith were inside in bed already, and Taryn and her friends were watching a movie, which meant truth or dare mixed with a little alcohol. Just like if you were all teenagers again.

Though not everyone was drinking it did surprise you that Matt wasn’t. This was normally his bread and butter. And when you asked he just shrugged it off. 

By the time the game actually started, you might’ve been just a little tipsy. Thankfully Matt was sitting next to you so at least knew who you were next to. Though maybe you were a little bit more out of it than you thought because you couldn’t stop looking at Matt and you’re pretty sure it’s really obvious but you also don’t really care.

At some point, someone asks you the age-old question of truth or dare. Normally you’re a truth kind of person but even through the alcohol, you can tell that drunk confessions might not be the best idea right now. Of course, the only other option is dare so you pick that, which in hindsight still might not be a great idea because you are far gone enough to agree to whatever dare they threw your way. 

“I dare you to kiss Matt, on the lips.” 

Oh, that was, unexpected. Especially considering it came from McDavid. 

You glanced over at Matt who looked like a deer in the headlights. You nudged him and he turned to look at you.

“I’m fine with it if you are?” You whispered to him.

“Are you sure, you’ve drank tonight I don’t want that to be influencing your decision.” He looked concerned which you found sweet. And even though you were drunk, you still wanted to kiss him. This might be your only chance and the alcohol is giving you the confidence you need.

“I’m sober enough to consent to it, but are you okay with it?”

“Yeah.” He was still looking at you, eyes jumping around different parts of your face before landing on your lips. So you did what any sane person would, slid your hand into the curls at the nape of his neck tugged him towards you, and kissed him. Your eyes fluttered shut and one of his hands came up to cup your face and the other wrapped around you to pull you closer. 

You broke apart to a couple of whistles from the guys and Brady saying something about how he doesn’t wanna see that.

Matt was still sitting closer to you, but you didn’t move away until you stood up to grab another beer.

Later on when it was time for everyone to go to bed you were on wobbly legs so Matt offered to give you a piggyback ride up the stairs and of course, you said yes. He brought you all the way into the room and dropped you back on the bed before disappearing into the bathroom.

“Thank you Mattyyyy!” Okay, maybe you were still a little drunk. Matt reappears and sets a cup of water and some pills on the side table.

“Yeah, not a problem. I’m gonna need you to go ahead and sit up so you can take this and not feel totally horrible in the morning.” You raised your arms and he grabbed your hands to tug you up so you could take the medicine. Once you get it down you flop back onto the bed, kick your shoes off, and curl up under the covers. 

“Come on Matty I wanna cuddle and you’re taking forever.” He had just gotten into the bathroom to change and get ready for bed. 

“Give me a second and I’ll be right out.” And sure enough he was. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Matt POV

I was royally fucked. 

That kiss, was good. Too good. Cause now I can’t stop thinking about it. 

After rinsing off my face I walked back out expecting Y/N to be asleep, but she was still awake waiting for me covers pulled back and everything. 

“Hurry up Matty,” she looked so cute snuggled up and ready for bed. So I climbed into bed next to her and she immediately tucked herself under my arm and was out a minute later.

Yeah I was in big trouble.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N POV

Waking up the next morning sucked big time. Thankfully the planned hike was not until later this afternoon so after breakfast you could come right back upstairs to sleep some more. At least you could remember the night before. But also remembering the night before means you could remember the kiss and how good it was and then Matt getting you upstairs and taking care of you and of course you begging for cuddles. Which speaking of, Matt himself was still asleep and still holding you close. Though this morning you were able to roll out of his grasp before he could pull you back. You went to the bathroom and grabbed more medicine and some water before running downstairs and grabbing two granola bars. No one else seemed to be up either and you didn’t feel like making real food. 

When you got back upstairs Matt was sitting up in bed. You tossed one of the bars at him before crawling back in your side and opening up your own. 

“Everyone else is still asleep, and the hike isn’t untilater so after I eat this I’m gonna go back to sleep.” You exclaimed before eating your granola bar. 

“Alright. Thanks by the way. And if you don’t mind I’ll probably join you, we were up late last night and I’m tired.” You just shrugged in response because your mouth was full. 

True to your word both of you were back asleep after setting an alarm to give enough time for getting ready before the hike.

~~~~~~~~~~

You were all about halfway through the hike when it happened. Somehow you had managed to trip over a tree branch that was across the path. Through this area of the trail it was a small path so everyone was in a single file line and just just happened to be in the back. So no one even knew you fell until you tried to stand up and couldn’t put any pressure on your left foot without yelping in pain. As soon as they heard you they all turned to look to see what happened. And even though he was leading everyone, Matt made it to your first.

“Hey hey, what happened?” He asked as soon as he got to you, kneeling down next to you.

“I got caught on the branch and hurt my left ankle. I can’t stand up.” You had tears running down your face. More out of pain than anything else. 

“Alright, you probably sprained it. I’ll take you back and they’ll continue on okay?” He reached up to wipe your tears away and all you could do was nod. Your ankle really hurt.

He turned around to face the group, “Hey Brady, you keep leading everyone and I’m gonna take her back to the house, she can’t walk.” Brady said something in response but you didn’t even hear him. Before they left Taryn came back to tell Matt to keep them updated and give you a hug. 

When the group started on their way Matt turned to look at you again. 

“Okay I’m gonna have you get on my back and we’ll get back to the house that way okay?”

“Okay, thanks Matt. I’m sorry you have to deal with this instead of finishing the hike.” You did feel really bad.

“Hey hey no it’s fine, you didn’t mean to do this. And I’d rather take you back and know you’re okay than have someone else do it okay?” You ignored how that cause butterflies to errupt in your stomach and just nodded.

“Alright I’m gonna stand up and help you up then get you on my back alright?” You just nodded again.

Matt stood up before leaning down to grab you bridal style.

“When I set you down stand on your good foot and I’ll get lower so you’re able to hop on easier.”

“Okay.”

~~~~~~~~~~

You made it back to the house, Matt checking on you the whole way, making sure nothing else hurt and making sure he wasn’t hurting you.

Once you get inside Matt sits you down on the couch and disappears. When he comes back he has an ice pack and a bandage to go around your ankle. You lean down to start to undo your laces but he stops you and does it himself.

“Hey let me take care of you.”

“Thanks Matt. I really do appreciate it.” 

He makes quick work of getting you all bandaged up. And you both decide to have a little movie night and Matt gets up to get snacks and turn the lights off. And when he sits back down, he’s sitting a lot closer than before. And you don’t mind.

Eventually you do end up cuddling together, him pulling you close and you tucked in next to him but still with your foot resting on the coffee table in front of you. 

And that’s exactly how everyone finds you later when they get back. 

~~~~~~~~

Matt’s POV

Someone is shaking me. I open my eyes half expecting Y/N to be telling me I’m on her side. But its Mom and I’m in the living room and the TV is showing the ending credits.

“Honey I think y’all need to go to bed its late and y’all are tired. Is she okay?”

“Yeah she’s got a sprain. Nothing too bad thankfully but she is gonna be in pain for a bit.”

“Alright honey, go ahead on up to bed, I’ll see you in the morning.” 

I untangle myself from Y/N and stretch before standing up and lifting her to head upstairs. When I make it to our room and kick the door shut, lay her downa dntuck her in before laying down next to her. And when she automatically cuddles closer who can blame me when my heart flutters for a second.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N POV

Today was the day everyone was leaving. Myself included. Thankfully the ankle I hurt was not the one I needed to drive. Matt of course helped me get everything to the car. By the time I’m ready to leave everyone but Matt and I are gone. And of course Chantal and Keith. 

I’m sitting in my seat procrastinating leaving. I have tomorrow off of work so I’m in no rush. And I want to keep talking to Matt who’s standing in the doorway of my car looking down at me with soft eyes.

“Hey Y/N?” Matt is suddenly serious.

“Yeah what is it?” 

“I like you.” 

“What?”

“I like you. Actually I think I kinda love you and I always have. And if you feel the same which I think you do, or at least I’m hoping you do, I’ll do whatever I can to make it work with us. Even though we would be so far apart. But I just had to telly you that before you left. If you don’t feel the same we can pretend this never happened, but for the record I really don’t want to have to forget that amazing kiss.” There’s a blush covering Matt’s whole face.

“Matt?” 

“Yeah?”

“I think I’m kind of in love with you too.” Relief washes over Matt’s face. 

“Can I kiss you Y/N?” 

You don’t answer, you just pull him close and plant one on him.

“And Matt,” he leans back to look at you again, “I think now is a good time to mention that I got a promotion that requires me to move out of St Louis.”

“I don’t care where you move if you want to I am willingto make it work no matter where you are.”

“Well me moving might make it a little easier on us.”

“Oh yeah? Where do you have to move to?” He rests his hands on your hips, a smile across his face.

“Well I kinda of have to move to Miami. So like maybe twenty minutes from you?” 

Matt’s smile somehow gets bigger as he lifts you up to spin around.

“I think that’s the best news I’ve heard in a long time.”

[like-apollo]

Dante and David (Part 1)

This is part 1 of my first story!

THURSDAY

He wakes up to a text from his boss.  “Hey Dante, I need you to come in for a project today.  It shouldn’t take too long.”

Dante had a good job in IT after finishing his computer science degree.  He worked from home and even though he was always on call, he didn’t have to go in much and appreciated the simplicity of his job.

Dante never told anyone, but he had a massive fart fetish.  He loved the freedom, intimacy, and masculinity of farting and wanted nothing more than to bury his face into a funky ass.  To sniff and lick another man’s most toxic scents as they let loose on his face.  He thought about it every day, but he. hasn’t had the opportunity to try it with someone else.  He was curious.

He got up out of bed and got dressed.  He goes to the kitchen for a cup of coffee before heading to work.  His father David is already in the kitchen drinking a protein shake after his morning workout.  He had his back turned when Dante walked in.

Phffffrrrrrrumpppp-BrruurmrRRrrrrtSss-Phhhffttss

“Ahhh”.  David let loose a few deep farts, not realizing his son was in the room.

“Hey dad, good morning”. 

Startled, David turns around.  “Oh hey son.  Sorry I didn’t realize you were up.”

Dante is laughing.  He didn’t mind his dad farting openly.  He enjoyed it actually.  And even though it was his own deepest kink, he always played it cool.  Dante takes notice of his dad’s muscular build.  He was tan and built. His upper body was toned.  His legs were big and meaty and he had a thick, round bubble butt.  Dante thought he looked great, and he was proud of his dad.

“Hey Dante.  You gonna be around later?  I might need help with something…”

“Yeah dad, I’ll be around after work. What’s up?”

“My laptop has been running slow ever since I got this new program for work.  You mind taking a look?”

“Sure thing, dad.”

David was proud of his son.  He really knows his stuff when it comes to computers and tech.  Now that Dante was older and more responsible, David saw his son as more of a friend - someone he could count on and trust. 

He appreciated living with Dante, especially since him and his ex-wife Maria went separate ways a few years ago.  David was alone for a while after the divorce while Dante was at university.  Even though him and Maria went through rough patches, they ultimately worked through it and were able to keep a good friendship.  Being older, Dante understood and tries to be supportive of his parents.  But there were a few things he didn’t know about his father – not until today, at least.

Later that day, Dante returns home from an easy day at work while David was still finishing up at the office.  Dante gets undressed and takes a hot shower.  He steps in and lets the hot water pour over his body. His mind starts to wander…

PhhfFfFfrrRrRrrrrRRRmmmtttTtt

His ass opened up and he was letting loose.  He let out a deep 8 second fart, wet from the shower, which combined with the steamy air and made the bathroom stink.  His imagination began running and he was turned on by his own scents. His dick started to rise and he begins touching himself.  Dante definitely wanted to explore his fetish with someone else, but he just hadn’t met the right person yet.  He knew at some point it would happen.

Pfft-PrrruMMmBbrrumpppttttt

“Mmmhmm.” He was moaning.  I mean, there were a plenty of men in his area and some guys who claimed to be “freaky” but none of them were really open to farting or interested in exploring. Maybe he needed to take a trip.

Without anyone else to share the fetish with, Dante was always turned on by his own farts.  He  was stroking himself more intensely, the smell growing stronger. 

BrrRRrrrumMMppPtttt

He let out another fart, which immersed him in his own manly funk.  He feels his body tense up and he moans as he shoots his load freely into the shower.  “Fuck man.”

Coming back to himself, he finishes in the shower and puts on a fresh shirt and a pair of basketball shorts.  By now, David was home and in the kitchen making dinner.  David ran his own LLC but he made it a point to prioritize work life balance, always getting home by 6 p.m.

“Hey son, I’m making burgers for dinner.  You gonna be around tonight?”

“Sounds good, dad.”  Dante then remembered his dad asking him to fix the computer earlier.  “Hey where’s your computer at?  I was gonna take a look at it.”

“Oh it should be in the living room.”

As Dante goes to the living room, David gets a call from his ex wife Maria.  They were close friends now and they called each other often. Although it took some time, Maria eventually came to understand David’s life and respected him for his honestly.  They were still best friends, but it was a different dynamic now.  They hadn't told their kids yet the full truth about David yet, but that was only because they didn't want it interfering with his studies.

After a quick conversation, David and Maria set plans for dinner tomorrow at the house. 

Meanwhile, Dante is in the living room opening David’s laptop.  He looks through the programs and runs a few tests.  Within a few minutes, the issue is fixed.  “Easy.  That should do the trick”.  Before he closes the laptop, a wave of curiosity sweeps over Dante.  He knows his dad is in the next room, but he’s busy on the phone.  He also knows his dad has been single for a few years since the divorce, but they never really talked about his love interests.  Dante respected that.  He knew that David went on a dates, but Dante never actually met any the women he dated.  They were never really around for long anyway and Dante didn’t want to probe his father.  It seemed so mysterious to him, but Dante respected the boundaries.

However, Dante’s curiosity got the best of him tonight.  He  decided to open his dad’s recent searches. He was curious about what his father is up to.  He knows he shouldn’t do it and he feels guilty for invading his privacy, but he would also never hold it against him.  He had his own kinks, which made him empathetic to others.  He opened his dad’s search history that night, never in 100 years expecting what he found.  He read the captions.

“Taking my boyfriend’s farts to the face”.

“Gay slave taking nasty farts and musky scents”.

“Rimjob fart fetish.”

“Farts to the face in the sauna.”

The list went on.  Dante was in disbelief.  He didn’t even know his father was into men, let alone men shamelessly farting in each others faces.  But here he was now, staring at a list of gay fart content in his dad’s search history.  Some of them were even timestamped from this morning!  His dick began to throb in his pants.  His dad was watching these videos right before they said good morning to each other...   

Dante recognized a few sites that he himself visited often.  Could this be real?  My dad and I watch the same kink videos?  He thought it must be some kind of mistake at first, and maybe it was actually Dante’s search history.  But Dante never used his dad's computer. There was no other explanation - He was always extra careful and made sure to clear his own history.

“Hey son, dinner is almost ready.  How’s it going with the computer?”  Dante shuffled in his seat at a loss for words.  He tries to play it cool with David and quickly closes out of the history.

“Hey dad, uh all good ha-ha.  It should be all set now.”  He lets out a nervious laugh and closes the laptop.

“That’s my boy!  Hey by the way, your mom is coming for dinner tomorrow night.  You gonna be around?”

“Yeah dad, I’ll be here for sure.” Dante calls out as he walks up the stairs, regaining composure.  He did appreciate the fact that even though his parents weren’t together, they were still good friends and they could all spend time together as a family.  That was a special bond they had. He just couldn't face his dad in this particular moment.

Dante goes back to his room to think about what he just saw.  He’s still in shock, but there’s nervous excitement rushing through his body.  He still couldn’t believe his dad’s fart fetish.  Is he really into this?  After a few minutes, Dante feels a fart coming on.  With an evil smirk, he gets an idea. 

Dante returns to the kitchen as David finishes washing the dishes.  “Ah there you are son. Grab a plate while it’s hot”.  Dante, still nervous and semi-hard, walks over next to his dad to get a fork.  He drops the fork on the floor on purpose.  His dad barely notices. 

Dante bends over to pick it up, shoving his ass in his dad’s direction.  He brushes his ass against his dad’s leg, nonchalantly.  He pushes out out a raunchy 5 second fart on the side of his dad’s leg.

BPPffRRumMmmpttfffttss

David feels the vibration and looks over at his son, surprised.  Even Dante was surprised as it came out a little bit stronger than he expected.  “Oooff” There was an awkward pause before Dante looks back up at his dad “Oops, sorry that one slipped out.”

David didn’t know what to say or do.  Dante began standing up again.  There was something about this that didn’t seem like an accident to David.  The stench hit his nostrils and it smelled like fresh, warm shit.  This smell was also David’s fantasy and he felt his dick twitch in his pants – but at the same time… no, this was his son.  He had to play it cool, even though he felt mixed up at this point.

“Hah, good one son.  Have you been drinking my protein?”

Dante is paying close attention to his dad.  From his peripheral, he’s subtly looking down at his dad’s crotch for any movements .  He was testing the waters and smirking:  “No dad, why do you ask?” when suddenly -

BrrummppttttffrrrrrppppppTttt

David turned his body so his ass was facing Dante.  He let out a deep 8 second fart in his direction.

“Ahh.  Just cause the protein has some stinky side effects.”

BbrRrruUuMMmmffrrmpptttSsts

He moaned and let out another fart.  This one sounded wet and by now, they were stinking up the kitchen. Both men were standing in their own funk, both getting more turned on, but both unsure how to read the situation.  

Dante tries to act normal but he’s also losing control.  His dick is growing harder and harder.  David sees Dante’s erection through his basketball shorts and takes note of it. He begins putting the pieces together, of what his son might be doing.   Dante doesn’t realize it but his dad was catching on. 

With the funky smell clouding his judgement, David has an idea.  He wants to push the envelope a little bit further for now.  

“Hey Dante, let’s eat in the living room?”

“Sounds good dad.”

Both men head to the next room.  Dante sits down first with his plate in his lap, which was also covering his hard dick.  David walks over to the couch, semi-hard.  He gets to the couch and stands right in front of Dante.  He bends over to put his plate down on the coffee table.   While doing so, he pushes his bubble butt out farther until it’s just inches from Dante’s face. 

“Dad, I –“

Brrrrfffrrruumpptttt

Pffrrttttttttt

BrrrumppFFFFFrttttmpppBbtt

Before Dante could finish, David rips a 3 long heavy farts right in his son’s face.  He kept his ass stuck out in the same position for a little longer. 

“Ahhhhh mmh”.  Dante was in sniffing and audibly moaning

David notices with a naughty grin.

BBbBbbBrrrPPpffrrttttts

“Oof, sorry Dante.  That one just slid out, couldn’t hold it back” David said sarcastically.  At this point Dante was rock hard, struggling to not pull his dick out right there in front of his dad.  This was his deepest, darkest fantasy coming to life – He knew it wasn’t right - I mean this was his dad.  He thought he knew better, but that also didn’t matter right now.  He was losing control of his better judgement.

Dante leans into his dad’s ass right as David leans forward, pushing his ass back further into Dante’s face until his crack was touching David’s nose.  Dante is breathing in heavy as he leans in further and further into the crevice of David’s pants.

BrrumMMpptMmffrrrrrpppppttttttt

“Mhhhhm.”  David was so horny listening to his son inhale and moan.

He was turned on knowing that Dante was losing control.  He could tell it was driving his son crazy and heard him sniffing and moaning, struggling to breathe in pure pleasure.   A part of him felt guilty for treading on this thin line with his own son, knowing once that line was crossed there might be no going back.  He lets out few more fart in his sons face and listens to Dante moan.  Dante wanted to pull his dad’s pants down and bury his face into his thick, juicy bare naked ass.  He never saw it coming, but he was ready to cross the line, no matter what the consequences were.

 Just before he could reach his dad’s cheeks, David pulls away.  He comes back to his senses in a moment of clarity.  What was the hurry? They lived together and there was no rush. He sits next to David and with a tense pause he turns the TB on.  They look at each other and laugh, as they both ate dinner and watched a show.  “This isn’t over” Dante thought to himself.  David wasn’t ready to admit it, but he knew it was coming too.

Later that night David is getting ready for bed in his room.  He’s thinking about everything that happened earlier, feeling torn.  It felt good knowing about Dante’s mutual kink and it could even bring them closer.  He wanted to explore it more, but this was also his son.  How could something feel so good knowing that it’s wrong?  He had a lot of sexual tension built up and hadn’t released his load yet.  He fell asleep a little frustrated that night, feeling the push and pull of his own desire. 

Dante was upstairs in his room that night, also reflecting.  He had been so turned on by his dad’s gas and was eager to explore it more.  He knew that if they decide to go deeper with it, it might change their relationship.  He didn’t know if he was ready for it but his masculine urges were strong.  That night, he fell asleep deep in thought about David.  He had a dream that night that his dad came into the room, wearing nothing but white underwear.  David walks closer until he’s standing above Dante, turning around to show his meaty muscle ass.  He begins to squat down, slowly and Dante could see skid marks running across the crack.  He pulls his underwear down, as if he was about to sit on the toilet to take a dump.   . 

Dante can see the skid marks on David's ripe, bare hole. Bare-assed, David presses his ass down on Dante’s face and sits down full weight. He pushes out and his hole opens up on Dante's face.

“Yea Dante, take these farts.”

Brrrmpppffffrrumppptt-Pffrt-Pff

“Ugh, snifff that up”

BrrrmoomumppptTTffFpppffffrrumppptt

“Oh man, that one was wet. How does it taste?”

Dante was in pure ecstasy.  Even though this was just a dream, he was in heaven taking in all the smells. 

BrrruMmmmpBbttpppffffrrumppptt

He doesn’t realize how close to reality this all really is....

Part 2 coming soon!

[emmetverse]

Timelines are delicate things, aren't they? The smallest thing can cause immeasurable changes between worlds. The details of a plan, the location of a room... People call it the Butterfly Effect, I suppose.

There's a place people go when their worlds give up on them. When the universe doesn't want them anymore, when the timelines trickle out and die, but the people are just a little too stubborn to give up. It's not the best place, it's not the worst place. Whether or not it's better than death is up to you. The important part is that they're surviving.

And.. They have internet connection?

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All of them are called Emmet, of course, but that would get confusing quickly. Instead, they rely on nicknames:

◈ Em, what you would call the 'canon Emmet'. His universe has some differences from the original. Nothing that really changes anything.

✲ Spark, from a world where magic is very much real. His magic grew out of control and he ended up creating the void to contain himself. Not that he remembers it.

≜ Threes, or simply Three, a cyborg who lost a chunk of their body when the Kragle exploded. Sometimes it's a good thing when the plan doesn't work first time.

□ Buddy, a man who was stuck on the dust planet Undar for... Well, time doesn't matter anymore. He's the kind of guy who lives in the wall. Literally.

⊡ Rex, an immortal superhero. Or, well, he would be, if he'd gotten the opportunity to grow up. He's currently stuck in an adult body, though it should be fixable once they're out of here.

⩙ Nightshade, grumpyboy.

⨳ Cleric, the designated party healer from a Dungeons and Dragons campaign that was never finished. He's never had to quite think for himself before, quite literally.

⛯ Snowball, Spark's 'big brother' (Rex) and primary caretaker.

⑄ Chip, a sentient spaceship computer, now stuck in a small harddrive.

※ Void, both the place they're in and guard of it. It's overprotective and hates not being in control, but on the inside, it's really just a scared kid who wants to experience the outside world.

ᗢ Brick, a therapy cat, who's been forcibly adopted by Buddy. He loves hugs, headpats, and ear scratches. Sometimes he gets turned into a human, but don't worry about it.

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No NSFW, shippy, or suggestive anything

Rude asks are ok, but please be aware that they'll be rude back, and I might just end up ignoring you if it goes too far

Any of the characters are availble to answer asks! Some are more talkative than others, so if you want a specific character to answer something, please say so!

Canon, AU, OC, OOC, magic anon, and even other media asks are all welcome! Just don't break the story ^_^

My DMs are open

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A couple of extra bits that I want to specify

Buddy's tag isn't messed up! I chose the missing character symbol on purpose :)

The art in this blog is done in FireAlpaca, and the funky font used in these posts is Pagga from Ascii Art Archive

Everyone on this blog will lie, and cheat, and decieve you. Except for me. You can trust me.

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Em | Spark | Threes | Buddy | Rex | Brick | Nightshade | Cleric | Snowball | Chip | Void

(Old Tags: Em, Buddy, Nightshade)

Art | Writing

Queue | Reblogs | Muse Prompts

In Character Answers | Semi-OOC Answers | Out Of Character Answers

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Zone of Truth (Round 1) | Zone of Truth (Round 2)

Brick Becomes a Human

Spark McFreakin Dies

[thejournaluser]

hi hello welcome to the magnus archives

we have: - floating puppets that are actually corpses - non-verbal vampires - a coffin that chokes u - skinwalkers that can steal ur identity (and body, obvs) - cursed books - two episodes that contains bug sex - funky circus that makes u feel weird - guy who can see how u die - old sailor who can turn you lonely - 4 guys named michael - acab - two cults who are obsessed with fire and darkness - a neighborhood with a cool looking tree - some guy being trapped in a computer and eating said computer - world's hated librarian - dig - a living mannequin that will give u a skin routine - ghosts that can shoot people - some architect that can control the supernatural - an old man who loves flying - basically rich old men, i dont wanna list all of them individually - a harem composed of a man with wet cat energy and four lesbians

the list goes on but these are my favorite highlights

[n0phalt]

i grew up on tainted love by soft cell, right? mostly from an mp3 downloaded to my parents' windows 97 computer and passed along to each new device over time. i've memorized the monologue at the start which is a fun party trick! except nobody knows what i'm fucking talking about and, according to my research, the internet has no records of a file like this ever existing. has anyone heard this before i am BEGGING YOU

if anyone cant listen it goes (man sobbing in background) "hey, boo hoo, stop whining. so you didn't win the big one! but you've got a hot and fresh pizza waiting to be eaten, some funky tunes to listen to, and a bunch of great coupons. hey! you can always order another pie and try again." (cue music)

[annoyangle]

CONVERSATIONS AT A LUNCH TABLE IN HECK

OTHER CHARACTERS? IN GRAVITY FALLS? BESIDES ME? NOPE.

IT'S ALWAYS BEEN ME, GUYS. IT'S ALL BEEN FROM MY POINT OF VIEW. JUST LIKE THE BOOK. I COOKED THEM ALL UP IN ARTS AND CRAFTS IN THERAPY SO THE THERAPISTS WOULD FEEL SORRY FOR ME AND CONSIDER GIVEN ME EXTRA BISCUITS AT LUNCH. STANFORD PINES? PLEASE. A SIX-FINGERED NERD WHO DOESN'T LIKE COMPUTERS? IN 1986?! CAN'T EXIST. STATISTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. STANLEY PINES? COME ON, LIKE ANYONE WOULD BUY IN TO A 65 OR WHATEVER YEAR OLD CON MAN GRIFTER'S LITTLE FUNKY SHACK. ROADSIDE ATTRACTIONS CRASHED AND BURNED IN LIKE, 1991. NEVER HAPPEN. I MADE HIM UP TOO. MABEL AND DIPPER? THEY'RE BETWEEN 12 AND 13. YOU'RE EITHER ONE AGE OR THE OTHER. TWELVERTEEN YEAR OLDS DON'T EXIST. CATEGORICAL FACT. SOOS? NOPE. BLUBS AND DURLAND? HAHAHAH, WHAT, DISNEY HAVING GAY PEOPLE IN ITS SHOWS? NO SIR, PURE FANTASY. NOW HAND ME YOUR BISCUIT, PAINGOREOUS. I GOT A BREAK OUT PLAN AND I NEED ALL THE BISCUITS TONIGHT TO MAKE IT WORK.

[intercal]

the other night I was trying to compile lightzone (open sores Lightroom clone for Linux) and while it built fine, it was crashing when I tried to open the "edit" tab. so I pull up the terminal, run it through there so I can see an error message, it crashes again, and it says that the JVM was getting SIGILL (not sigkill) and closing. I hadn't seen SIGILL before and learned that it's a signal that gets sent when the CPU tries to execute and illegal instruction. what the fuck? why is java executing illegal instructions?

well, it turns out that Lightzone uses some C++ for more computationally intensive operations, and Java is for the frontend - makes sense. I look at the C++ and don't see any funky inline assembly in the function where it's actually crashing. the file hadn't been changed in something like 7 years so I figured it was pretty stable and that was not the source of the issue.

the SIGILL report gave a function name, plus a hex offset. so I guess we're disassembling the compiled .so file, fine, whatever. adding that hex offset to the function base drops me on this instruction: pf2id. I haven't heard of this before, but I haven't heard of the majority of x86 instructions. but aftee looking it up and some back and forth with ChatGPT, it is an obsolete instruction from this old extension called AMD 3DNow!™ from like 1998. what the fuck??

and after some back and forth with the maintainer, I guess the makefile was written in ancient times and was passing -march=athlon64 to g++. the athlon was an AMD processor line from like 2003? anyway changing that part of the makefile to -m64 -mtune=generic fixed it. I think I used every inch of my computer science degree that night. I just wanted to edit some photos, man. I'm going back to darktable.

(as an aside, I was using gcc 14. I compiled this on a machine using gcc 12 and it worked just fine. not sure if this is a regression, or if those 3DNow!™ instructions are intended behavior for specifying the athlon64 architecture)