#fun fact: this is the first oc ive ever drawn out for any fandom

[moonstruckdraws]

It's the holidays but I have literally nothing festive, but I DO have more art to share!

I made a rottmnt oc!! And her name is Lucinda/Luci! She's a mutated moth (southern flannel) that was taken in by Repo Mantis. She got injected with ooze from an oozesquito and luckily her body didn't give out on her, preventing her from dying from the injection.

Even though moths are eaten by mantis, I thought it'd be fun to put them together and have Repo raise her. He does believe in familial communications, even if it's directed to his cat I think it'd be cute if he felt the same towards her like a daughter.

Moths are quite fragile insects that are commonly preyed on, so when she got mutated she was quite timid and scared of everything around her. But when she found Repo, he made it clear that she would have to toughen up if she were to ever survive in the world. This caused her to stay around the junkyard and watch Repo from a distance, getting closer and closer to him. Eventually, she became more thick skinned and by that point was under Repo's... claw.

She's kind of like the bad/worse cop when it comes to business as she assists Repo at his job, mainly with people. She's aggressive, has a bad mouth, and a terrible temper because she made herself act more like a predator personality wise. She knows she's more fragile and weak, so she makes up for it with an explosive and slightly unpredictable personality. This usually makes people think she's a bigger threat, like she'll claim to be a poisonous moth even though southern flannels aren't.

Her aggressive and explosive behavior somehow made Mrs. Nubbins fear Luci which turned into them growing closer. They built a close bond, with only the occasional attempt of Mrs. Nubbins trying to eat her.

Repo Mantis cares dearly for Lucinda, but expresses it very casually most of the time, and is evident when he refers to her as 'champ', 'sport', or any other nicknames of the sorts. But he also acts like a clingy/annoying dad when it comes to her life personally (like her going to the Hidden City by herself, making friends, etc) and addresses her as 'Luci'. Lucinda wants Repo's approval and validation, and their relationship is very easy-going, but she will constantly roll her eyes at Repo when he gets all clingy and annoying. Luci also addresses Repo in two ways, as 'Boss' or 'Pops'. She uses 'Boss' more often than not because she uses the word 'Pops' for more sentimental moments, or for persuasion lol.

Phew! That's a lot of typing, but there's more to do. Mainly with her relationships with other characters, and I'm excited for that because it shows off her character the best! This is where the surprise comes in that I want her and Helli's sons, Pico and Bao, to interact (Surprise Helli :D )! I'm already in the middle of drawing how Luci would act with them, and will show them off tomorrow! I'm very excited to show them off!

[domesticangel]

here’s a big ol dump of art thats been sitting in my folders for anywhere between 1-3 years that at this point ill probably never finish to accompany some Really Long rambling under the cut

im a junior in college now (””should be”” a senior/whatever that means/since i took a gap year but) but when i was in my like....sophomore-senior years of high school i drew like.....every. freaking. day. like literally i feel like i would draw like, 1 or 2 fully fleshed out, give-all-my-attention to type drawings every single day of my life, and i always had so much fun doing it.

after having a while to self-reflect though ive concluded theres kind of some layers to this. because i figure theres at least a little romanticization of the past going on, because i KNOW i wasn't a very happy person in high school; in fact, mental health wise, late high school into my freshman year of college was probably my very lowest point. i did lack motivation at these points, but not for drawing; i kind of put off school work and college prep, which wasn't good, but drew like HELL every single day, and pretty much all of it was fan art. thats one of the main differences between me then and me now; i used to dedicate so much of my time and energy to “fandom” and the media i was into, and it totally fueled my desire to draw, whereas now, i obviously still enjoy different series, but... my life doesn't really revolve around them like it used to.

the way i see it, i think i definitely used to use media and fandom participation as a form of escapism, but not really the good kind... i think it was more of a maladaptive obsession i failed to keep in check that i know for a fact really got in the way of my schoolwork, and i only doubled down when it came time to apply to colleges, because of course that stressed me out and scared me; during times like that, which was almost always due to my mental health issues at the time, i clung to fandom because its what brought me comfort and kind of shielded me from my responsibilities.

either way, that obsession with whatever media i was into at any given time is also what i think gave me that desire to draw all the time that i miss so much. i think being THAT invested in something is what actually gave me the constant desire to create, and being able to create something and feel accomplished in something without having to face anything uncertain or scary kept me totally hooked. so its weird trying to parse how i feel about that time period in my life.

on one hand, my mental health has gotten SO much better. obviously ive matured a lot since high school, so over time ive learned about much better coping mechanisms and ideas about mental health, ive gotten on a medication that works for me, and ive really gotten into my major so I'm really enjoying school as well. and obviously this is progress that i would never, ever, just want to give up or throw away. however, its also this progress that seems to have inadvertently influenced how often i draw, because I'm no longer fully diving into media/fandom because i dont need that escapism anymore, and therefore i don't have this like, feverish, obsession-fueled desire to draw like i used to. its kind of a double edged sword i guess and something i don't have a clear answer to.

i also think another factor i can't ignore is that i used to have a very large following in a lot of fandoms on tumblr, and if i remember correctly before i deleted my old tumblr i had around 12,000 followers that i had accumulated over probably the course of about 5 years. so that meant that my fan art got a LOT of attention. not to sound like hur-de-blur-social-media-is-evil but like at least in my personal experience, i kind of taught myself to think, “your art is only worth something if it gains a huge, instantaneous reaction, and peoples’ reaction to your art is the ONLY thing that decides its value.” and thinking like that really has hurt how i feel about my art over time! often times, after deleting my tumblr, i would find myself thinking, “well whats the point in doing any art, because nobodys going to see it anyway” so i honestly didn't draw or feel anything for art for a long, long time. in that time i channeled my feelings and energy into much more harmful activities, and i really could've used art at the time, but it had become such a worthless concept in my head since i could no longer associate it with immediate praise and attention.

i forgot a lot of important things about art, most importantly, how it could be fulfilling to just ME and that that was ok. i forgot that drawing regularly would help me improve, or give me something to focus on when i felt down, or give me the power to create something when i felt like i messed up everything else around me, or just make me happy because i thought of something i wanted to put on paper and then just put it on paper. and thats one of the main reasons i created this tumblr; i want to kind of rekindle that passion i had for art, but this time, without the maladaptive obsessions and without the need for approval from everyone around me. and i know this isn't a unique struggle; i know lots of artists who share their work online get discouraged by how little attention their work gets after they put so much time and effort into it, and like them, i don't have an answer as to how to “fix” this feeling either. but i can at least try. i want to prove to myself that the time i spent feeling hopeful and happy about something i created justifies its entire existence regardless of now many notes it gets, whether its OCs, fan art, digital, traditional, whatever. i just want to learn how to draw because it makes me happy.

that said, finding the motivation can be hard. however, i think I'm sometimes a little too hard on myself. I'm on winter break right now, and ive kind of defaulted to thinking “you haven't drawn enough, you've wasted so much time wishing the motivation fairy would visit you and make you draw that you haven't put in the time and effort needed to make yourself do it, youre pissing away every chance you have.” but when i think about it, i don't think thats true.

ive spent a lot of time thinking about OCs recently, which is kind of wild, because i haven't had the desire to make OCs in probably literally ten freakin years, so thats honestly huge for me--i actually really WANT to make original content despite the fact that i know it won't get as much attention as fan art, and i want to just do it for me, because i want to get it out. ive done a whole character sheet and I'm working on another! and sure, it didn't take me half a day like it maybe used to would've, but what does that matter? i thought, hey, i wanna get this out, and i got it out, and thats good enough for me. ive even written up storyboards in case i wanna ever make some small comics about my OCs just for fun, which is exciting cause ive never done it before. ive also been working on a commission for a close friend who wanted me to design her a fursona, and not only has it been a really fun process, but its the first commission ive done in a really, really long time, and it feels really rewarding. on top of that, I'm working on a painting for my dad as a late christmas present, and its my first really ambitious traditional piece in a while, so thats been pretty exciting too. and sure, ive done some fan art, but it feels like its coming from a better place; its less “please assign me value” and more just, really feeling something for the characters and wanting to try to connect with other people who feel something for those characters as well.

so, while it seems challenging, i also need to remind myself not to be blind to my own progress. i think i am doing better, and feeling better about art even if sometimes it feels like i spend way more time thinking about doing art instead of actually doing it. i think thats probably normal, and i think i can keep heading in the right direction.

ANYWAY this got really long but sometimes typing out how i feel about something and then reading it back helps me understand my own head a little better, so thats ok

[todokori-kun]

For

 the queen, I’ll try my best (seriously tho why are you so nice? Like ???? how ??? Queen Luna is so freaking amazing)

AND NO IT’S REALLY NOT YOUR FAULT ADS:DLFJK omg

That really does sound fun! (lowkey jealous lol) hope you have a fantastic time!

Thanks! And, well, I was thinking of a very neutral blue-grey color scheme because it’s Ilumi, but then that also feels weird because of his green outfit? (like sure he has different oufits too but that weird green needle suit is the most well-known. Like, it’s the thing cosplayers always wear, the one he’s drawn wearing in most of the fanart…)

Illumi has his eyes on you

(this is probably true)

Do you think Kikyo and Silva (Mr. and Mrs. Zoldyck) ever bothered to teach that to him? They must have encouraged it. From a clip I watched recently it seems that Silva knew about the needle Illumi put in Killua’s head and was pretty much cool with it(…)

He’d drag Armin along with him. If Armin’s genius somehow wasn’t enough to put him into the top ten, Illumi’s really not above using Dead Eyes Intimidation + Zoldyck connections to make sure he’d get there…and then the needle would make sure Armin would never, ever dream of joining the Survey Corps or the Garrison.

That’s extremely accurate XD

Also, look at this cut exchange from Cabinet Battle 2:

Jefferson: Can you do me a favor?

Hamilton: Depends. I can try.

J: Can you tell Angelica Schuyler I said hi?

H: She’s never mentioned you.

J: She’s not the type who shares. But since you’re so interested in foreign affairs…

(Ouch.)

Yes, Eliza’s awesome ;-;

Well, the word got around, they said, ‘This kid is insane, man!’

Took up a collection just to send him to the mainland

‘Get your education, don’t forget from whence you came and

The world’s gonna know your name.

What’s your name, man?’

Kuroiwa is very much dead. Wonder how Takeomi’s gonna feel about this…first Yoriko, then his dad…;-;

Awww, at least you have tumblr friends? *hugs* and tbh I don’t have any fellow manga/anime fan friends over here either (though maybe that’s just because I don’t have any friends here at all lol)

Please join me in HxH hell. Please. I- I need someone to sob with me because I’m only like seven or eight volumes in and I just met Chrollo and omg please I have literally 0 friends in the HxH fandom (jk jk, just the fact that you listen to me rant out my favs is enough for me. TYSM for being such a queen <3)

And actually, it’s nowhere near as bad as TG or AoT! Like, it has emotional moments, but there aren’t that many character deaths? Like, sure, people die, some favs die, but so far it’s still reasonable and nobody seems to be rage-quitting the manga because of pointless angst.

Chrollo always looks good but yeah, that last style does uit him really well :)

Ging is horrible, but like you said, at least he tries and acknowledges that he’s a bad parent. In his own way. I mean, the whole journey to find him was something he designed himself to help Gon grow as a hunter (though that also connects to Ging’s slightly problematic habit of treating Gon more like a hunter to train than a child to raise…)

Excuse me Queen Luna do not compare yourself to this trashcan. He doesn’t deserve it.

I haven’t even met Pouf in the manga yet and I kinda love him.

ALL THE HAM/ELIZA FEELS.

I’m sad to say I did not cry at all during Hughes’ death/funeral. I felt a lot of pain but the tears just didn’t come OTL

I’m glad you appreciated the puns ;) (Seriously though seeing the blog back is so exciting <333)

Also: I will now send you some pics of Chrollo’s troupe members (AKA his loyal fellow criminals he’s so proud of them all), and of Ging’s student (Gon’s father figure), if that’s ok?

And I might gift you a surprise fic soon…I promise that it won’t be too angsty. Really. I would never lie to the queen :D

Last thing- is it ok if I rant more about OCs sometime? Mainly about the Love Interests for that Otome Game I mentioned a while ago (the thing I was trying to write a script for)…I’d just like some opinions on the LIs *Lenny Face*

Hi i’m back and ready to die.

I hate school, have I ever mentioned that?

Anyway, lately I’ve been losing my motivation for everything basically and that includes coming onto Tumblr, and I was wondering, do you have any app that has an instant messaging system? This is nothing against you personally, but my replies will be really slow, since I don’t even turn my computer on much these days… In fact, I feel incredibly guilty that I take so long to answer, I just don’t have the motivation…

On a happier note, I finally watched Civil War! And I ship Stony.  My heart is not okay.

Um what else happened… Norway is absolutely beautiful? It’s a place where fairytales would take place, especially the fjords. And I also saw a ton of Thor statues lol

I’d scream if Illumi had his eyes on me. If I’d have the time to before dying that is.

While we’re on HxH, that picture of Hisoka you sent me is just mmmmmm nice abs  He looks less trashy with his hair down. 

well fuck kuroiwa is dead… 

oh god trust me id be a shitty parent. a very very shitty parent. there’s a reason why i don’t want kids and the pain of giving birth is only a small part of it. not to mention i don’t have the patience to deal with a small human who can only shit or cry.

gah i know there was something else i wanted to tell you but forgot hnnnngh

uh well, ive returned to tg, so much about quitting. as long as my sweet sunshine is present, I’ll come back at any time. i just sincerely hope it is actually him and not a fake. 

oh yeah, ive started rereading soul eater! it’s a good manga, you just have to get past the first 2-3 volumes for it to get good. the initial parts are pure ecchi. 

i might spam the blog w some pictures of norway later ^^;;

sorry for the short&all over the place response, I’m just so so tired, even tho it’s only been one week of school. I blame my period.

Anyway, the next one will be longer, I swear!  I hope you’re not too mad…

[edit:] I REMEMBERED WHAT I WANTED TO SAY

I SAW BOOK OF ATLANTIC. LIZZY. MY BABY. SHE FINALLY GOT HER SCENE IT WAS BEAUTIFUL ALSO UNDERTAKER. DAAAAAAAAMN

oh and i’ve gotten around to watching Death Note and it casually broke my heart. good to know, good to know.