#fun fact you can put anything in the izzy hands tag and no one can stop you | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jobrookekarev · 3 years ago

Photo

The Best Thing That’s Ever Been Mine

T.S. x Jolex Week 2021 hosted by @thejolexgroupchat

Chapter One of One

Words: 4285

Summary: Jo was an intern at the hospital, having just gotten out of a bad relationship. Alex was the man whore set in his ways, but they ended up falling in love, And Alex is the best thing that’s ever been hers.

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy.

Relationship: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson.

Characters: Alex Karev, Jo Wilson, Eli Stevens, and Alexis Stevens.

Rating: General Audiences,

Additional Tags: Taylor Swift, Mine, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Fix-It, Cute Kids, Children, Pregnancy, Ferry boats, Beaches, Ocean.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

AN: Fun fact the top photo in the poster is my photo from when I was at Ocean Shores last month! I do not own any of Taylor Swift's music or the lyrics to Mine.

……………………………………………………………………

The intern and fellow, although technically Jo was a 2nd year resident and Alex was an attending now. They both left their past and never looked back. After running away from her marriage with Paul and after everything with Jason, Jo was hesitant to get into a new relationship. Alex had his own fears, he had been married once, and Izzie left him, but he knew that Jo was special, and he was willing to risk it all for her.

Intern Jo knew that Alex wasn't like all the other guys she was with before, he got her like no one else did, and she knew he would never hurt her. After everything they've been through together, she could hardly believe that they'd found something so good together. Falling in love with him was as easy as the crooked smile gave her every day. She had seen that look of love before on the faces of other men, but Alex was different. Alex was stupidly, affectionately, head over heels in love with her, and she couldn't help but love him the same.

“Can you believe it?” Jo said as she smiled up at him from where her head was on his chest as they laid on the couch together.

“Believe what?” Alex asked, his hands stopping from where he was playing with her hair.

“Just this,” Jo said as she gestured around the room before looking up at him.

The pizza and beer were left out on the coffee table, a movie is playing on the TV that neither of them were paying attention to. It was a typical night at their house together, but Jo couldn't help but think about how much she loved this and how much she loved him. She didn't have to explain herself to Alex. He just looked down at her with that crooked smile. He was just as much in awe of the life they created together, the home they had, and the love they have for each other as she was.

“Do you remember the date we had on the beach a while ago, when we were first dating?” Jo said, looking at him again as his fingers began to braid her hair.

“Yes,” Alex said, smiling at her as he tilted his head.

“That was the first time you put your arm around me,” Jo said as she smiled at him, remembering it all.

They had made plans for a beach day, but it was too overcast and cloudy to lay in the sun, so they just ended up walking along the shore. She remembered how his jeans were rolled up into cuffs with his white t-shirt and the flowered yellow sundress she wore that flowed in the breeze. The water was cold as it came up over their ankles, but they kept walking and talked about anything and everything. Jo remembered the way he laughed and threw his arm around her shoulders as he pulled her in, and she remembered the way she laid her head on his shoulder. Everything seemed so perfect at that moment.

Things were so good now too. She looked up at Alex again, and she couldn’t help but be filled with love for him. He was so good to her, and she was so happy with him.

“Alex Karev, you are the best thing that's ever been mine,” Jo said as she leaned up and wrapped her arm around his neck as she pulled him into a kiss.

His lips smiled against hers, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer as her fingers tangled in his hair. The movie and the beer were forgotten about after that in favor of lips against skin as she pulled off their clothing and made him her own.

I say, "Can you believe it?" As we're lyin' on the couch, The moment, I can see it, yes, yes, I can see it now, Do you remember, we were sittin', there by the water? You put your arm around me for the first time. You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter. You are the best thing, that's ever been mine.

……………………………………………………………………

It was a typical Saturday in the Loft and they both had the day off. They spent the morning being as lazy as possible, barely even getting out of bed other than to grab coffee and breakfast before they were both getting tangled up in the sheets again. When they finally got up, Jo smiled at the way he automatically tossed her his old t-shirt and he slipped it on before they both got out of bed. She gets out of bed and goes over to collect their mail as Alex collected the numerous dishes that were scattered around while she sorted the mail into piles of bills.

Alex groaned as he started the water in the sink. “We should have sprung for a dishwasher when we had the chance.”

“We barely had room for the stove and the fridge,” Jo said as she kept sorting.

“Well, maybe it's time to start looking at other places. I mean, you want to apply to a fellowship in Boston, and even if we do stick around here, it'll be hard to make space for a baby. Besides, kids should have a yard and a play center, just space for them to run around, you know,” Alex said with a shrug and he turned off the water and started scrubbing as Jo paused from where she was sorting the mail.

Sure they had talked about kids. They had even talked about maybe trying for a baby after the wedding. All things considered, they were in a good place. Alex would follow her wherever and let her take on the workload with her fellowship. He even joked about taking the year off to be a stay-at-home Dad. Having a baby now would be a good thing, and they were ready, but just the thought of getting pregnant, having an actual baby, and moving into a house with a yard, it just all seems too real. It wasn't just an idea that they kept talking about and Jo wasn't sure how she felt about it yet.

“Well, let's pay the bills before we start adding other expenses to our finances,” Jo said, trying to brush it off as she looked around and gestured to the pile of bills in front of her. “Besides, I don't think we should sell the Loft, we should keep it and maybe we could rent it out.”

“I thought you said you didn't get attached to places?” Alex asked, looking over at her with raised eyebrows.

“This place is different,” Jo said, looking around and the brick walls that had seen so much of their relationship. “It's home.”

“Yeah, it's home,” Alex agreed as he caught her eye and gave her a soft smile.

“Do you remember the ferry ride back to Bainbridge Island and the Dreamhouse after I showed you this place? You pulled me out onto the observation deck and we watched the city lights get further away,” Jo said as she let the memories take her back.

She remembered the cold ocean breeze of the night as they stood together on the deck pressed against the railing. The sound of the ocean waves and the ferry filled their ears, but she remembered the way Alex looked at her when she told him she loved him and the way his lips felt against her. That night they agreed to make this place their home.

“It was such a beautiful night,” Alex said as he remembered, he looked at her, but his eyes glazed over as he remembered too. “The city lights sparkled on the water and everything was so peaceful. I know we had been fighting for weeks and we hadn't had a quiet moment together and I just wanted to spend some time with you, alone. I was so in love with you that night. I’m still am so in love with you and it makes me happy to know that you’re marrying me soon.”

Jo looked down at the way that the diamond sparkled on her hand, just like the light sparkled on the water that night. She loved her ring from the moment she saw it. It was a princess cut, a nod to the annoying nickname he first gave her, but it was what she had always wanted. She had told Alex in passing before they even started dating that she wanted just a simple diamond. She wanted it to be large enough, so it was a little flashy, but small enough not to get caught on things.

The ring Paul gave her had been large with several diamonds. It was so big and fancy, but she was constantly getting it caught on things. She even lost one of the diamonds in the band, and she tried not to remember what happened because of that. She never thought she'd get engaged again, but here she was, wearing the ring of a man who loved her, and Alex’s ring was nothing but perfect.

She wondered if that night on the ferry with the night that he decided to propose to her, he always said that he knew he wanted to marry her from the beginning. He told her about the night that she was walking around naked and got caught when Meredith came over. He didn't know it at the time, but as she went to go back upstairs, the house was quiet enough that she heard the words he said to Meredith. That he was going to marry her, and her heart still fluttered at the memory.

The night on the ferry was a different night of proposals, of house and home proposals. It was the night that Jo went all in with him. The night that she wanted him to be hers, and she made it happen. He accepted and they built a life together. Their life together started that night on the ferry.

“We leaned against the cold green railing and you wrapped your arms around me as we watched the city,” Jo said, coming up behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist the same way he did with her that night. “I was so in love with you in that moment, and I still am, because you, Alex Karev, you are the best thing that's ever been mine.”

Alex just smiled his crooked happy smile at her and turned his head back to kiss her. She loved that he was hers.

Do you remember all the city lights on the water? You saw me start to believe, for the first time. You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter. You are the best thing, that's ever been mine.

……………………………………………………………………

Jo had just gotten home from work after a long day of surgeries. It was 2:30 a.m. and all she wanted to do was crawl in bed when she got home. She could feel the tension in the Loft the moment she walked in and when Alex looked at her, she just knew. He had his suitcase half packed sitting on the bed, toiletries, and socks, and shirts were scattered around him. All of his favorite things were tucked away in his suitcase. Then he sighed looking down at the floor before he looked up with her. She knew then that he was leaving.

She could see the weight of the world on his shoulders in the way he looked at her as he grabbed her hands and led her over to the bed. He gently had her sit down so he could explain it all. Jo sat there in shock as she took in his words. He had kids, twins with Izzie. Not just one child, but two, two five-year-old children that he had with Izzie. She could barely wrap her head around it. She just replayed his words in her mind. Two kids, Alexis and Eli, that Alex had with Izzie.

He had a family, a wife, despite the ex part, and two children. It was all he ever wanted. A wife and two kids, that's what he always talked about. She thought that he would have that with her. She was ready, they had even started trying for kids, but now he had all of that without her. Her whole life just turned upside down and she thought she was going to be sick.

“Jo, just take a deep breath,” Alex said as she could feel his hands on her knees and saw him kneel in front of her. “Do I need to get the puke bowl?”

Jo moved her hand from where she had pressed it against her mouth and shook her head before she looked at him. “You're leaving to go be with your kids, aren't you?”

She could tell his answer by the way he just looked down and let out a sigh. He looked at his hands, looking down at his wedding ring for a second before he twisted it around his finger. Alex never played with his wedding ring. That was her nervous habit. He never played with it unless he was taking it off for surgery. He put his fingers on it, and she knew he would take it off. Jo couldn't sit there and watch him give her his ring. She couldn't sit there and watch him leave her.

Her entire life, her first instinct when things got bad was to run. She always ran and this time, she didn't even have to think about it. She just ran. She ran past him and out of the Loft. She ran out of the apartment building and out into the parking lot. She didn't know where she was going, but the cold night air felt good in her lungs. She ran past their cars when she realized she didn't have her keys or anything else and took in a deep breath of cold air, pausing just for a moment.

“Jo,” Alex called out to her as she looked around. He caught her wrist and pulled her back to look at him.

“You're leaving me,” Jo said, her voice breaking with her words, and she didn't realize that she was sobbing until she spoke.

“No, no, Jo. I’m not leaving you. No, I'll never leave you,” Alex said, as he reached out to cup her cheek, brushing away the tears with his thumb.

Jo paused, taking in his words as she wiped her cheeks and her snotty nose with her sleeve. “You're not leaving me?”

“No, Jo, I want you to come with me!” Alex stressed, something about the cold night air made his words ring clear in her ears. “You and me, we're a family. I don't want to be a Dad without you, and you could be such a good step-mom to them. I want you to meet them too. It was always supposed to be me and you, us as a family. Alexis and Eli are mine, and we're married, so what's mine is yours. If you're okay with that, the twins could be ours.”

“What about Izzie?” Jo asked, biting her lip. “Is she okay with me meeting them?”

“Yes, I explained to her that we’re a package deal, and she's agreed to let both of us meet the kids,” Alex said with a nod, although he still looked worried for her. “We haven't worked out all the details yet, but she's agreed to let us both be a part of their lives. If you want to, if you want that.”

“But you want me to come with you? You want me to meet the twins?” Jo asked, finally understanding.

“Yes, please,” Alex asked, his plea prompted her to look at him for the first time since he sat her down in the Loft. His worried expression surprised her as she took in his furrowed brow and the worry lines in his eyes. Finally, she realized that as much as she was worried he would leave her, he was worried that she would leave him too.

“Okay,” Jo said, she was still so unsure about everything, but she could do this. She could go with him and meet the kids.

Alex let out a breath of relief before he pulled her forward to wrap his arms around her waist. He gave her a small smile as he just stared into her eyes. “I remember putting my arm around you for the first time at the beach and I thought to myself. I can never let this girl go. And every time I look at you, I remember the first day I met you. You're still so beautiful, and I'm still head over heels in love with you, Jo. You are the best thing that's ever been mine.”

Jo could only nod as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close, and holding his body against hers. She breathed in the scent of him and tangled her fingers in his hair. Alex was hers and she would never let him go.

“You are the best thing that's ever been mine, too and I’m not going anywhere.”

And I remember that fight, two-thirty am, 'cause everything was slipping right out of our hands. I ran out, crying, and you followed me out into the street. Braced myself for the goodbye, 'cause that's all I've ever known. Then, you took me by surprise. You said, "I'll never leave you alone." You said, "I remember how we felt, sitting by the water, And every time I look at you, it's like the first time, I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter, she is the best thing that's ever been mine."

……………………………………………………………………

Jo and Alex both walked across the grass to the beach with both of the twins between them. As soon as they could hear the water, Alexis and Eli jumped up and down for joy, pointing and shouting. Their childish excitement was so infectious and exciting. They had never seen the open ocean before, so Jo and Alex had planned a family trip to Ocean Shores for the weekend. It was the twin’s first trip to the beach and their first trip to Seattle, whereas previously, Jo and Alex had gone to Kansas twice a month.

The open ocean stretched out endlessly in front of them, the large sandy beach stretched out in either direction, and the sun was warm and hot on their backs. Jo was glad they brought the extra big umbrella as she adjusted the sun hat on Alexis' head lest she get burned with her fair hair.

The past few months since she and Alex had met the twins had been a whirlwind. When they met the twins, Jo instantly fell in love with them. How could she not? They were both a part of Alex, the man she loved. Eli was the spitting image of his father, and he warmed up to Jo in an instant, faster than he did to his father. He was so free with his affections for her in a childish manner. He just snuggled up to her on the couch and grabbed her hand, and pulled her to play with him.

Alexis was one hundred percent daddy's little girl. Even now, as she commanded Alex to drop everything and pulled him towards the waves that crashed the beach. Alexis looked so much like Izzie, but she had that Karev smile and Alex's charm, and soon she had both Alex and Jo wrapped around her little finger.

Alex chased the twins around the beach and Jo joined them in the water as the waves came up to meet her toes. Eli pulled her over to create a sandcastle, and Alex and Alexis soon joined in as well, going out in hunt of leaves and rocks to decorate it. While Alex created a moat around it because every castle should have a moat.

It was the perfect day with the twins and the perfect day in general. Jo wrapped her arms around Eli's shoulders and placed a kiss on his brown curls as he placed the final leave on top, declaring at the flag. Alexis jumped around her, and Jo captured her wrist and spun her around as they danced together. Alexis grabbed onto Jo's leg and gave her a quick hug before she was gone in a flash, back into the sand to grab more rocks and hunt for more sand dollars.

They had barely been there an hour, but Jo could already feel the heat of the sun drain her. She retreated to the cool shade of the umbrella and curled up on the warm and fluffy beach towel. She watched her husband and their kids played together before she closed her eyes under her sunglasses.

“Hey you,” Alex said, as he leaned down to kiss her lips and laid down next to her on the beach towel. “Stealing a nap in the shade?”

“I think I earned it after taking care of three kids this week,” Jo said with a smirk as she opened her eyes and watched his face.

“Three?” Alex asked, scrunching up his eyebrows as he looked down at her, not fully understanding her words. “I think you miscounted.”

“Did I?” Jo asked, raising her eyebrow and placing a hand on her belly. She watched him process it for a second. His eyes fell down to her hand before they grew as wide as dinner plates, and he sat up in front of her.

“Are you, are you pregnant?” Alex finally managed to ask.

Jo could only laugh as her nose crinkled up and she just smiled because he was so flustered. “Yes, it's been so obvious. I thought you would have caught on by now. I’ve been sick every day, and I even left my prenatal vitamins on the shelf in the bathroom.”

“I'm sorry,” Alex said, looking down and putting his hand over hers on her belly. “I've been so distracted with the twins. I haven't even noticed.”

They had settled into their first week with Alexis and Eli in Seattle. The transition was rough at first, and Jo and Alex had been running around trying to manage two slightly overwhelmed five-year-olds. Alex barely noticed when she threw up or took a nap with the kids in the afternoon, although she hid her symptoms well.

“It's okay,” Jo said, reaching out and putting her hand on his cheek as he looked up at her. “I've been distracted with everything too. I didn't even notice when I missed my period or when my body started to change until Carina pointed it out to me.”

“Yeah, that I did notice,” Alex said, his eyes glancing to her chest as she rolled her eyes.

“Well, I guess I can wear my hat, now,” Jo said, as she pulled out her beach hat, like the bride hat she had worn on their honeymoon, except this one had the words 'baby on board' stitched around it. He just shook his head as he held the hat.

“Daddy, Mommy Jo, come play with us!” Alexis shouted at them as she waved her arm to catch their attention.

“Yeah, come back our castle isn’t finished yet, we need another tower!” Eli called to them from where he sat in the sand.

“We’ll be there in a minute,” Jo said as they got up from the beach towel. Alex wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her up against him as they watched the twins play.

“A baby,” Alex said, looking down at his hand on her belly, and although they could neither see nor feel their child, they knew they were there. It was magical and wonderful and they were a little in awe.

“Yes,” Jo said with a smile, getting caught up in the way that he looked at her. “Do you think we could handle one more?”

“I think that we could and that we're going to be amazing, Jo. You're going to be an amazing mom. You’re already an amazing step-mom to the twins. I know this wasn't the family we envisioned, but I love the twins and this baby is what I've wanted with you since the moment I fell in love with you. You and me being family, with our baby and the twins, this is what I want more than anything.”

“I want you and this baby and our twins. Your right, they are ours, Alex this family is ours,” Jo said, reaching out to hold his face as he just looked at her and his eyes sparkled with happiness.

“I love you,” Alex whispered, leaning in for a gentle kiss.

“I love you too,” Jo whispered against his lips.

“Can you believe it?” Alex said as they watched the twins play.

“No, if you told me three years ago that this was gonna be our life, our family, I wouldn't have never believed you, but we made it, and our marriage is stronger than ever.”

“I can see it. I can see it all unfold, the future, the five of us, you, me, this baby, and the twins, I can see it now.”

“It's going to be amazing,” Jo said as she looked over at him, he caught her eye and smiled at her. He was so in love with her and she was just as in love with him. “I can see it too.”

Do you believe it? We're gonna make it now, and I can see it. Yeah, yeah I can see it now.

#jo wilson #alex karev #grey's anatomy #jolex #TSJolexWeek21 #alexis stevens #eli stevens #otp: home and heart #grey's anatomy fanfic #my work #my writing #my fanfiction #my photos #my edits

15 notes · View notes

xxisxxisxxis · 4 years ago

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Seventy-Five

Words: 4k

Warning(s): explicit language, domestic abuse, violence, drug abuse

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @edwardtriggerhandzz @lemmyjelly @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @xpoisonousrosesx @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @liith-ium @caos18blog @ytwahsog @scarecrowmax @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @cruecifymesixx @meetthesixxter @sublimeprincesswasteland @arianareirg @girlnight-terror

@fancywasmyname1 @teller258316 @ggorehorror @blowinmeupwithherlove @xrosegoldwolfx @mylifeisjustafeverdream @redlipscrystalskies14 @str4nge-haze @reigns420 @sixxseconds2love @leatherandheels @dogmom2014 @allyouneedislove-mp3 @n0-self-c0ntro1

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

"Hey, Nikki, c'mon!" The sound of Fred shouting on the other side of the bathroom door pulls me to my feet, making me swing the door open and catch myself on the side of the doorway before I can face plant.

His expression is neutral, but I see it in his eyes...he knows they're losing me. "Three more nights to go," he reminds me, "make it count."

I wipe my mouth, following him down the hallway, catching a glimpse of Vivian talking to Izzy while Steven's got his arms around her hips, pulling her to sit in his lap and she does, patting at his arms while he rests his cheek against her back and closes his eyes to rest a second as her conversation with Izzy doesn't skip a beat.

Maybe she's sleeping with all of them.

Not like it matters at this point.

We're over anyway and I'll probably be dead before either of us can even file.

She looks like she's about to look at me but I make sure to cut away from looking at her to avoid being caught, grabbing my bass from the tech as Tommy starts in on the drums, the screams of our fans echoing backstage as Mick, Vince and I head under the stage, my fingers lightly brushing against her crucifix around my neck for a split second.

I'd stolen it when I found it in Duff's bathroom...when people asked me, "dude, how'd you take that news? You kicked his ass, right? You showed that cheating bitch, right?"

Well…

The Night Before

"Hey, Nikki, man, can you help us with this?" Slash asks me once I get my room's door open, and I raise my brows.

"With what?" I reply, confused.

He motions down the hall, and I peek my head out to see Steven and Duff trying to push a desk out of Steven's room.

"We're fucking with hotel. We need help getting the desk, chair, lamp, and night stand from Steven's room into the elevator before someone needs to use it." He explains.

"So they can have a more comfortable ride." Stevie pipes with a grin.

I've been locked in my room all day and I won't get to see these guys until the end of next month starting in a few days, so…

"Hell, yeah." I agree, stepping out of the hall.

"Where's your clothes man?" I ask Duff when I get to him and Steven, helping them push the desk along the carpet, to the elevator.

He's in his boxers and a pair of his cowboy boots, and he replies, "me and this girl got in an argument and she stole my clothes."

I can't help but laugh.

Poor Duff, he's probably never dealt with crazy, vindictive, mind-screwing women before.

We get the desk and chair into the elevator before the doors try to shut, signaling someone needing to use it, and I'm snatching Steven out of there before it goes down.

Whoever the fuck uses it will probably shit a brick once they realize it's gonna be impossible to get inside without crawling over the desk.

After that, we get the elevator back pretty quick and finish the job before pressing every button in the elevator to make a stop at every floor, just to make people in need of it wait longer.

"What're you guys doing?" I hear Viv's voice and turn to see her standing in the hallway with her room door open.

"None of your fucking business." I snap at her, just as the elevator dings and the doors open to reveal all the fucking furniture, Izzy, and a groupie.

They're sitting on the desk as if it's no big deal, and Izzy hops off of it and helps his lady friend down, the two of them looking at me and the guys.

"Good one." Izzy tells us, nodding to the elevator and I chuckle as he passes by, lightly patting at my shoulder, saying, "goodnight, man."

"Children." I hear Vivian mumble, shutting her door behind her.

"She's not feeling good today." Duff tells me, trying to get me to drop it before I even pick it up.

I don't listen, stomping to her door and banging on it.

She opens it, and I sneer down at her.

"We're having fun, what the fuck makes you think you can come out and shit on it when nobody even wants you on this fucking tour to begin with?!" I bark at her.

"Nikki, all I said--"

"--I know what you fucking said because you've been saying it the past six fucking years. We get it. I get it. So just fucking drop it and mind your own goddamn business!"

She shuts the door in my face, making me kick the door, before taking a breath, and turning to see Steven, Slash, and Duff, trying not to be too uncomfortable.

"You guys got any booze?" I ask, knowing they do.

"Yeah, man." Slash nods, motioning me to Duff's room.

He hands me a bottle of Jack and I start downing it with no hesitation, wrinkling my nose at it's peculiar taste--more peculiar than usual.

"It's half Jack, half Vodka." Slash explains and I wrinkle my nose, my throat on fire as I cough.

"What the fuck?" I ask, my head swimming, and he shrugs.

"We got bored and figured we'd try it."

"Don't let Viv know. She'll pour it out." I mumble, wiping my mouth, sitting on the foot of Duff's bed as he and Steven join us.

"I know you two have a lot going on but go a little easier on her, man." Slash says to me, next.

"Yeah, you guys are our friends so seeing you fight is weird." Steven adds.

"Like watching parents try to kill each other in front of their kids." Duff states and I sigh.

"I know you guys are friends with her but you don't see what she's really like." I insist. "She's fucking nuts."

"Trust us, we know." Steven scoffs.

"She's a sweet girl, she's just going through a lot." Duff interjects, grabbing the bottle of jack/vodka from me, taking a sip for himself.

"She was a sweet girl." I argue calmly. "Breakups just fucking make people unrecognizable. I don't see the chick I proposed to. I see a wicked bitch from hell that possessed her and just uses her body as a disguise." I add.

None of them say anything, because they can't argue it.

They see how we treat each other.

It's a given I'll be an asshole, but when someone like Vivian starts spewing venom, it's because she's lost their fucking mind.

"I think I'm gonna be sick." I grumble, feeling my stomach wrench before I'm stumbling to the bathroom, vomit spewing past my lips into the toilet, my hand grasping the edge of the counter to keep myself from falling forward, the sound of the clink of metal against the floor as I accidentally knock one of Duff's necklaces to the bathroom tile.

Once I'm done puking, I take deep breaths, closing my eyes for a moment before flushing the toilet.

I reach for the necklace to put it back on the counter, before I get a good look at it.

It's a small, sparkling cross a little too dainty for Duff...my stomach drops, my mind going back to the night I first met Vivian, when I first saw it around her neck and sneered everytime I looked at it.

How she took it off before she and I fooled around for the first time, and everytime after that, until we got married…

My blood runs cold, another wave of nausea hitting me, bile rushing up in my throat before I can stop it, splattering onto the floor.

Maybe I would've been prepared had Vince told me what was going on. He'd found out after Sparkie got blacked out on smack and told him what he had discovered about saint Viv.

It felt like a twenty-five pound weight had busted my balls. I didn't have time to think about it much in the moment.

"Gross." Steven wrinkles his nose a little as he peeks in to check on me. "I'll call the cleaning people." He adds, shutting the door, and I look at the necklace one last time before tucking it into my pocket. I'll confront her with it, later.

I get out of the bathroom, Duff, Slash and Steven all looking at me.

"Dude, you alright?" Duff asks, smoking a cigarette, and I nod.

"Yeah. I just feel like shit." I reply, trying to mask the fact I just found out he's been fucking my wife. "I'm gonna go lay down for a few minutes and see if I don't feel a little better." I tell them, stepping to the door.

"Alright, man." Slash replies.

"See ya." I mumble as Steven adds, "feel better, Sixx!"

I get to my room, slamming the door, pacing, throwing my empty bottle of Jack at the wall and watching the glass shatter, my fingers raking through my hair.

How the fuck could Vivian do this to me? How could Duff? My band gave his band a shot--a good one. I thought he and I were friends. You don't fuck your friend's chick.

Okay, I fucked Roxy but that was different, I was high.

Duff isn't into hard drugs and Viv's sober so neither of them have an excuse for it.

A pit grows in my chest as I think a little more.

What if they were messing around back when she posed for Playboy? Maybe that's why he went with her…or maybe they've been at it since before Vanity let it out that me and her were together…that would explain why Viv hid him from me for so long.

My nostrils flare at the thought.

Who the fuck does she think she is?! Cheating on me?! Does she realize how many girls would love to be married to me and here she is with my own fucking buddy. Heartless cunt. And he's an ungrateful bastard. I gave his fucking band a shot at getting what they've been hungry for and this is how he repays me? Nailing my wife on the very tour I invited him to play on?

I take heavy breaths before stepping to the phone, dialing Tansy's room number.

She's supposed to be back by now from her little break, and when I hear her answer, I sigh in relief.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Tans, whatcha up to?" I ask, grin on my face, knowing exactly what she's about to be up to, if she isn't already.

Tansy and I were like arsenic and cyanide. She was like Vanity--without the batshit craziness, or the sex. We'd hang out and just spend hours getting high together. I was one of her best friends, so it should've been my job to protect her, but if that were the case, I would've been encouraging her to throw her smack and coke out, instead of always wanting to hang out just so we could get high together like it was a bonding experience or something. Yeah, seeing each other at their fucking shittiest really bonds people to one another, right.

It was a punch in the stomach when I found out about all the hell she'd gone through for years, that made her want to get lost in drugs, and eventually made her want to get lost past the confines of this life.

A majority of her friends were protective "manly" men who would fist fight a pole if need be, well, Steven, at least.

We were supposed to protect her.

And I know, "Well, you didn't know."

We would've known, had we paid more attention, and I wasn't paying attention because I was like a woodpecker with its head in a branch, except my head was in a pile of smack.

I hang my head over the toilet, vomit pouring from my lips as my head reels with dizziness, my veins aching as Tansy rests against the bathtub, slobber rolling down her chin from being in the same position I'm in only a few seconds ago.

Our burnt spoons and sharp smelling foils are left to the floor as we're taken over by a monster bigger than ourselves, the sound of Slash, Steven, Duff, and Vivian's laughter from the hallway creeping past my door, slipping under the bathroom's door, pushing through the smoke and mirrors, nearly shattering my high before it even has its full start.

The next night results in the same outcome, only this time, I've decided to pick myself up with help from my favorite smoke, except the hit from the crackpipe comes with the expected.

Sweat beads down my back as I shake, curled up in the bathtub with the shower's curtain pulled, hearing the footsteps of my room's intruder.

"Nikki?" A familiar voice calls softly, but the demon in my ear overpowers my want to go to her.

I curl further into myself, squeezing my eyes closed, my shaking hand gripping at the cross around my neck that belongs to her.

"If you're real just make it go away." I'm saying before I can stop myself. "Help me cut this shit, and give me my wife back."

I knew I hit rock bottom when I prayed to a God I didn't even believe in…and I guess, in the end, my prayer was answered, but fuck if I didn't get in my own way.

I finally coax myself out of the tub after a few more minutes, seeing the light is off in my room under the door, before I open the bathroom door, my hair standing on end, my bare, ragged feet moving as quietly as I can move them as I pad onto the carpet, stepping to the bed where a figure is laid out, the shine of red hair across a pillow radiating from the bathroom light drifting into the room. Peaceful, sleeping features show no threat, but something wicked is beating in my head as I slowly approach her, my boney knuckle rubbing at her cheek, slowly, opting a tired, soft moan to leave her, her body shifting before stilling.

I know it's bullshit. It's a facade. I know she's waiting for me to fall out so she can leech off of me.

Fucking witch.

If I pass out, she'll strike, and I won't make it out alive.

Her nails are clawing blood from my arms as she gasps out, kicking her feet when my hands lock around her throat, my eyes glossing over as she tries to scream out.

Her hand bangs, hard, against the wall the bed is against, her hands trying to fight me off as tears roll down her cheeks, her face beginning to turn a deeper shade of red.

"Nikki, what the--Nikki, what the fuck?!" I hear Fred's voice, but I hear it as if I'm under water, my focus captivated completely as my eyes burn into Vivian's before I'm being snatched off of her and thrown into the floor.

She's a coughing, gagging, gasping, crying mess.

"What the fuck, Nikki?!" Fred yells at me and I look at Vivian.

It's as if I'm coming back to myself, the reality of what I just tried to do…

What the fuck, Nikki? You already fucking shot her, and now this? If you don't get your shit together you won't have a fucking wife to patch things up with!

What am I saying? I already don't. She's fucking Duff.

She's legally married to me, but emotionally she's already been single for months, now.

I didn't strangle her because I was pissed over Duff. I strangled her because in my fucked up paranoia I was convinced she was going to kill me, first.

The truth was she wasn't. Duff, on the other hand, definitely considered it once he found out. But I don't blame him for it, now.

The next night, I feel my lip curl as I spot greasy, unkept hair, and scabbed, yellow skin.

Sparkie's smoking a cigarette, his arm around Tansy.

Its fucking pathetic.

He's contributing to her demise--if not the reason it kickstarted in the first place--and she still looks at him like he's the only dude on the fucking planet and she can't get enough.

My mind drifts to what would happen if by freak chance Vivian did decide to try something with him.

It makes my skin crawl to think of Vivian in the same position as Tansy: doped up, exhausted to the point she can't fight back when she's pimped out by him, worn down…

The mere idea of it makes bile rise to the back of my throat.

The fact Tansy's gone through it only adds to my nausea.

I hold it in and step past them, glaring at Sparkie.

"Stay away from my fucking wife." I threaten him and he flinches a little.

Pussy.

I spot Axl shooting a death glare at him from the corner of my eye.

He looks pissed as a hornet, his sharp jaw clenching and unclenching as Vince and Tommy walk past him to get ready to go on stage.

I hear Skylar crying from the dressing room with Sharise--they came down a few nights ago.

I look back to Axl, tension getting tighter and tighter in his body.

All it takes is Sparkie clapping his hands one good, loud, time, just to see Tansy's jittering, withdrawal-beginning, body nearly jump out of it's own skin.

This does it.

Out of fucking nowhere Axl is tackling him like a linebacker, not giving the walking incarnate of an STD time to think before he's beating the shit--literal, shit--out of him, the putrid smell taking up space backstage, making me and the guys gag as Fred, Doc, and Izzy try to get the pissed redhead off the junkie.

I expect Tansy to be screaming or crying like usual when someone gives Sparkie what his punk-ass deserves, but she makes no protest to Axl.

I immediately look away when Viv comes into the picture, a look of worry on her face as Axl yells: "Bitchy little princess, I'll give you a fucking reason to go fucking shoot up!"

The smell of Sparkie's shit continues to permeate the area as Doc and Fred get him away from Axl.

Tansy just stands still, her big, blue eyes blinking at Axl.

I meet Vivian's gaze, noticing the cake of makeup covering her neck, and a pit is dug into my stomach.

Fuck.

"Dude, you good?" Tommy asks me, and I nod.

"Yeah, just grossed out." I mumble, seeing Izzy leaning against the wall, dry heaving from the smell as Viv and Duff coax Axl down the hall to their dressing room.

Me, the guys, Emi and Donna all get into position, and I try to shake off all the shit that's happened, because we need to have a kickass show.

As soon as mine and Mick's cue hits, and I'm face-to-face with thousands of people who all want a piece of me, I can't control uneasiness of my stomach, and when I take a moment to grab a drink of water, my throat ignites when I down a gulp of vodka, instead.

What the fuck?

I figure it's set aside for Mick, and try not to let it happen again.

Only I do.

Repeatedly throughout the show.

And that on top of smack, on top of the Jack Tommy and I chug during part of the show, leaves me sloppy as hell and stumbling off stage come curtain call.

I see two Duff's stomping over to me, looking the most mean I've seen him ever look, Vivian on his heels.

"Hey, man, wha--"

I don't have time to finish my question.

He knocks the shit out of me in the blink of an eye, and I stumble back, not able to react in time before he's shoving through Fred and Doc, giving another punch to my cheek, but I strike back this time, twice, before he just starts waylaying me relentlessly, Vivian screaming, stupid enough to try to get between us before Izzy's yanking her away.

I feel my skin split under the pressure of one of Duff's rings, my vision spotty before he's thrown back by Fred and Axl.

"You mother fucker!" He screams at me viciously as Doc comes to my side. "You stay the fuck away from her, you understand me?!"

"Duff, it was an accident!" Vivian cries out hoarsely.

"Look at your fucking neck! How is that a fucking accident?!" He's so pissed he's nearly in tears, too, and I feel my heart pound as I see where the makeup has been smeared off of Vivian's neck, revealing dark bruises in the shape of my fingers.

"He was high!" Vivian insists.

"He was high when he shot you, he was high when he proposed to another woman, he's high everytime he treats you like shit, he was high when he fucking tried to kill you last night…" Duff rambles off, his face bright red. "...Stop excusing his bullshit with 'he was high', he's not high--that's just who the fuck he is, now!" He shouts, her feelings hurt from the looks of her expression.

"Come on over here and see who the fuck I am, now!" I can't help but to spit out, even though I'm in no position to win a fight.

"No, no!" Fred scolds as he and Doc are in front of me while Steven and Axl stay with Duff, trying to calm him down.

First Axl and Sparkie, now me and Duff, all in one night.

I bet Fred and Doc regret bringing them on tour, too, because I sure as shit do.

If I felt like arguing anymore I'd ask Duff how my balls taste since that's where Vivian's mouth spent a good amount of time the past six years...if I wanted them to know that I know about them, I'd say it.

If I knew it would make a difference, I would.

But I know it won't, so I keep my mouth shut.

#gateway drug #nikki sixx #mötley crüe #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x oc

49 notes · View notes

sodalitefully · 5 years ago

Text

Rose Petals & Petty Rivalries [GNR AU, Slaxl] 🌹🌹

The Hollywood Rose is a florist, run by Axl Rose and Izzy Stradlin (in lieu of the actual owner, who never seems to make an appearance), with Duff McKagan behind the wheel of the delivery truck. Axl likes working there; he likes the flowers, he likes the quiet, and he likes how things don’t ever change: business is slow but steady, customers are as predictable as ever… and the tattoo parlor next door is still a pain in his fucking ass. Don’t even get him fucking started about how it scares off the Rose’s customers by attracting seedy thugs, or how the owner is a fucking creep that Axl may or may not have history with.

Seriously, don’t: Izzy might actually gouge his eyes out with plant clippers if he has to hear Axl’s rant one more goddamn time.

Tracii Guns opened up the L.A. Guns tattoo parlor a few years ago, and he doesn’t plan on moving anytime soon, no matter how much animosity he gets from the flowerboy next door. Business is going well for once; so well, in fact, that Tracii has decided it’s time to hire a second artist.

There’s just one problem with that: There’s only one tattoo artist in LA who is both up to Tracii’s standards and looking for a place to set up shop, and that person is Saul Hudson, better known as Slash, a talented, hotshot artist who also happens to have a rivalry with Tracii dating all the way back to their school days when they first upgraded from stick-and-pokes to cheap tattoo kits.

Tracii left his mark on more of LA’s reckless youth than Slash did in their teen years, but just barely and only because Slash was often distracted by anything from BMX to zookeeping. He may have gotten a slower start to his career, but Slash’s talent as an artist is now making him a hot commodity in the tattooing community – If Tracii doesn’t grab him now, someone else will hire him soon enough, and Tracii can’t risk that kind of competition.

So Tracii reaches out and Slash accepts the job offer, but that doesn’t mean their little rivalry has been resolved. Tracii tells Slash that there’s not enough space in the tiny shop for both of their work stations on street level, so he assigns Slash the basement. Slash actually really likes the space, once he gets it all cleared out and set up the way he likes (he calls it “the snakepit” in his head), but he’s not about to let Tracii get first pick of every customer who walks in the door. Whenever he’s not with a client, Slash is hovering around upstairs, putting his art up on the walls, greeting potential customers from behind the counter, and generally doing everything he can to poach Tracii’s clients. Tracii does not appreciate his efforts, but when he’s in the middle of an appointment there’s nothing he can do to stop him.

So now Tracii has to deal with competition from his own employee (though by no means is their feud one-sided…) on top of his pissy neighbor who somehow manages to give Tracii an impressive amount of attitude while also blatantly ignoring him. Of-fucking-couse things only get worse when the two meet.

Duff is new in town, fresh from Seattle, Washington, and working two jobs to pay for his shitty bug-infested studio apartment: by day, he drives the Hollywood Rose delivery van, and by night he waits tables at a steakhouse across town. So he’s not entirely caught up on the details of Axl and Tracii’s bad blood, and comes into work one morning eager to show off his brand new tattoo.

He got it from an artist that his buddy Steven recommended. “It’s just the place next door, Axl, have you gotten any of your tattoos done there?” An innocent question, perfectly reasonable, and yet –

“…Oh. You went there?” Poor Duff did nothing to deserve the look of sour disdain that Axl is serving.

"Uh. Yeah, I got it done in the basement, seemed like a pretty neat place. Why, what’s up?"

“Wait – in the basement?"

"Yeah, Ax, Tracii’s got a new hire,” Izzy threw in, still admiring Duff’s new ink – it was well done, he had to admit. "I’m surprised you have’t seen him around, he’s pretty, uh, distinctive. Big fluffy hair, likes jewelry and leather?"

“Izzy, that describes about half of Guns’ clientele."

“Nah, you’ll know him when you see him, trust me.” Duff bobbed his head in agreement.

“Hm. What’s his name?”

“Slash. He’s a nice guy, really talented –” Duff adds, but Axl has stopped listening, and started formulating a plan.

For the past two years, give or take, since L.A. Guns opened its doors, Axl has been making a point of going to any and all of Tracii’s competitors to get his ink done, without so mach as sparing a glance at the parlor next door (not counting the occasional glowering from behind slanted blinds, or fantasizing about ramming his car into Tracii’s trash bins in the shared parking lot). But that day, Axl marches right into L.A. Guns, meets Tracii dead in the eye and demands an appointment as soon as possible – with Slash.

Tracii gapes at him for a second. The shock of seeing Axl in his shop fades quickly, replaced by an expression that broadcasts Are You Fucking Kidding Me loudly enough to be picked up by any radio antenna in a 30-mile range.

“You can’t be serious Axl. Why don’t you go back to your fucking daffodils and leave me the fuck alone, hm?"

Axl arches a brow and opens his mouth to retort, but he’s cut off by a tangle of curly hair and bare limbs that swoops in, shoves Tracii back, and tips forward over the countertop until his frizzy bangs are inches from Axl’s face, all in one fluid rush that Axl can barely follow.

“He doesn’t want to talk to you, Guns, so why don’t you scurry off and give us a minute to take care of business?” He doesn’t say it like a question, and he smirks when Tracii throws up his hands with a huff and stalks off to his station at the back of the room. Once he and Axl are granted the illusion of privacy, the smirk transforms into a dazzling grin, propped up on his fist as he – Slash, obviously (Axl realizes what Izzy meant when he described the man as “distinctive”) – leans forward on the tall counter, offering Axl his best “sorry about my crazy boss now how can I help you?” look.

“So, you’re interested in a consultation appointment?"

Axl belatedly realizes that he’s blushing. “Fluffy hair, likes jewelry and leather” was obviously an inadequate description; Izzy had failed to prepare Axl for Slash’s warm brown eyes, for the way the hoops in his ears peek out from his mass of soft-looking curls or the way his sleeveless shirt shows off the ink on his tanned arms... And that’s not to mention his beautifully infectious smile.

“Yeah,” Axl responds, his voice pitching up a bit against his will. “Maybe around this time tomorrow, if you’re available?"

Slash flips open a day planner and hovers his pen over tomorrow’s date. “How does tomorrow evening at 5:15 sound?"

“That would be great."

“And your name?"

“Axl Rose."

Slash pauses and glances down at Axl’s work clothes, lingering on the pin over his pocket with his first name and the shop logo. He looks back up at Axl with a bemused expression. “Axl Rose? Who are you, the mascot?"

“Hey!"

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Slash giggles then manages to compose himself. “Axl Rose at 5:15,” he pens the appointment in slanted script. “I didn’t mean to make fun… Did you do the arrangements in the front windows? They’re really beautiful."

“…Thank you.” As a tattooed florist with anger issues, Axl is in no position to stereotype, but he still wasn’t expecting to hear that from Slash. If he wasn’t blushing before, he certainly is now.

Tracii scoffs loudly behind Slash, and Axl’s pink flush is abruptly replaced by an angry, embarrassed red. He hunches his shoulders and mutters a thank you when Slash slides him business card with the appointment time scribbled on the back, then heads for the door as confidently as he can manage. This whole plan to piss Tracii off is going to backfire if he keeps getting flustered by the cute, overly-friendly new artist.

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” Slash calls after him cheerfully.

Slash watches him walk out the door and back towards the Rose, then finally turns around to meet Tracii’s incredulous scowl.

"You’re not really going to do a piece for him, are you?"

"Uh, yeah, why wouldn’t I?"

"’Cause he’s a Grade-A fucking asshole who’s had it out for me and my shop ever since I moved in."

Slash laughs dismissively. "You’re full of shit, Tracii, he seems like a real sweetheart to me."

Tracii snorts. "Axl Rose, a fucking sweetheart?”

“You jealous, Guns?”

“Hardly,” Tracii says with a scowl. “He’s going to hate the tattoo and then use it as an excuse to give me even more shit than he already does. It’ll be unbearable around here with him bitching all the time.”

“You mean like how you’re bitching right now? You don’t know shit,” Slash declares, “because Axl is going to love his new ink and you’re not going to hear a thing from him except when he’s beating down our door to beg me for more.”

I’m afraid my ideas are getting predictable, but I couldn’t fucking resist. Tagging @fan-with-issues for chatting w me about this au, and @insipidrhyme just because.

Shoutout to Tracii Guns for once again stepping in when I want to give a side character a hard time. You’re a good sport, Trace.

#yikes it's been a month since i last posted #sodafics #slaxl #slash #saul hudson #axl rose #gnr #guns n roses #hollywood rose #tracii guns #la guns #l.a. guns #florist x tattoo artist au #and you thought I couldn't get more cliche #i've been staring at this for too long so i guess it's time to post

82 notes · View notes

tomishaped · 4 years ago

Text

Rating:

Explicit

Archive Warnings:

Graphic Depictions Of Violence • Major Character Death

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Supernatural

Relationship:

Dean Winchester!Izzy Hlton

Characters:

Dean Winchester • Izzy Hilton • Sam Winchester • Asmodeus • Dagon • Demons • Hellhound • Ellen Harvelle • Jo Harvelle • Hunters • Crowley • Charlie Bradbury • Bobby Singer • Ruby • Death • Pestilence • Famine • War • Castiel • Angels • Cain

Additional Tags:

Demon Dean Winchester • Demon Sex • Kidnapping • Gay Sex • Blood • Blood Kink • Hate Sex • Love/Hate • Major Character Injury • Major Original Character(s) • Character Death • Past Child Abuse • Past Rape/Non-con • Past Sexual Abuse • Past Torture • Past Violence • Canon-Typical Violence • Violence • Protective Dean Winchester • Bisexual Dean Winchester • Top Dean Winchester • Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings • Izzy is too • Emotional Hurt/Comfort • Emotional/Psychological Abuse

Summary: After being pulled out of hell Dean realizes quickly that the four months he had been gone made way for a lot of changes in the lives of everyone he knows, including the life he had known for himself before he died. Nobody was treating him the same, and there was seriously something going on with his brother that he could not figure out. He was spending most of his time alone nowadays, not really hunting anymore since Bobby and Sam were against it for him, and spending most of his time drinking instead to try and forget. He was angry, pretty much all the time. That anger really worked in his favour though when walking back to the impala he came across a freaking hoard of demons getting ready to attack some blond chick. He didn't know who she was or what the hell all the demons wanted with her, but there was no way he could just walk away. Maybe if he had any idea what trying to save this person was going to lead too he would have just walked away, maybe if he had actually given any thought to the situation before him he wouldn't have put himself in the middle of it, but even before hell he made impulsive and rash decisions... so maybe not.

Previous Chapters

• Chapter One •

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter Two: Welcome to the Batcave

Part One

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they had reached the car Dean made quick work of the door locks and got them both inside before he punched it, only leaving squealing tires and smoke behind them as they took off. Dean didn’t start to relax till they were a mile or so away from the group of demons, still keeping an eye on the mirrors though just in case. “You really pissed someone off," he said with a grin as he glanced over at the other while he drove.

Izzy did manage to force himself to relax once they were in the car, though Dean still happened to look tense with the way he was looking out his mirrors for someone. Honestly, it probably helped the demon to relax with the fact that Izrael couldn't feel Dagon as close anymore. She was either losing interest or losing track of them for now, either way that worked for him. "Huh?" He was honestly confused at first when Dean said that, "Why would you think I pissed some- oh! Because of all that? Right. Yeah. They don't seem to fond of me, do they? I should probably stop crashing into their parties like that."

Izrael shifted in the seat a little and rolled his eyes when he saw the man look out his mirrors again, "You can stop doing that now. We're fine, mommy lost us," he said with a shrug, leaning back in the seat again, trying to get comfortable. He was ready to get out of the Winchesters car now, and he would really like to do it without having to kill the hunter next to him in order to keep him from following or trying to track him. Even if he didn't have an issue with killing humans, he didn't know which way Dean's soul would go now and having it back in the pit after he killed him could possibly become… problematic. "So uh, yeah, you can just drop me off whenever now and can go get back too… whatever the hell you were doing before joining me at that lovely party tonight. I'm actually supposed to be at a different party right now anyways, so anywhere is good."

Dean snickered when the other said that they had crashed a few parties, it made sense. He did raise an eyebrow when he was told that the horde had backed off of them. Granted he hadn’t noticed any one but still, he never trusted demons to give up. “To be honest, I was out looking for a good time… guess I found it,” he said with a wicked grin, still feeling a bit of an adrenaline high from the fight and sprint to the car. “Rest of my evening is open if you want some back up,” he offered the blond. “Not saying you can’t handle yourself, I saw your moves back there but… twenty to one is a bit much,” he said while giving him a bit of a doubtful side look.

This is what Dean thought of as a good time? The human was either suicidal or crazy. Sure, Izzy did have fun doing shit like this too, but he was a demon- he was fucking crazy. "Mmm, yeah… it was a bit much till you showed up. Definitely would have ended up losing this jacket," Izrael laughed a little at Dean and shook his head, "See, I haven't gone and learned my lesson yet it seems since I'm definitely gonna be crashing one of their parties again. Gotta find it first though, and I can't do that in a strangers car."

Dean raised an eyebrow when the blond mentioned that they weren’t done yet and was looking to start a similar party to where he just found them. Ok sure he had been doing stupid stuff since he got back but he had an excuse. He was trying to repress what felt like forty years of Hell - literal Hell. So what was this kid's excuse? She might be crazy, but her crazy was also kinda hot and hunters like this don’t tend to stick in one place long because of the next big hunt. Besides, too often if they stayed in one place for long then all the enemies they made along the way had a tendency to catch up to them. “I can drop you off wherever your next party is so you don’t get jumped on the way again…” Dean trailed off a little as he drove, “could at least tell me your name before you get yourself killed.”

Izrael smiled at the hunter. "Why would I give someone I've never met in this life my name? Doesn't sound too smart. Besides, I don't see you passing over that information either."

Dean grinned. “Sorry, thought you picked it up before things got hairy. Names Dean, Dean Winchester," he said as he held a hand out to shake as he drove, glancing at the blond but mostly keeping his eyes on the road. “You know demons can’t keep their big mouths shut, if your next party is anything like that one, they’re going to be ready for you and you’re going to lose more than your jacket, sweetheart," he said in a matter of fact tone. “Might be a better idea to show up with back up and armed to the teeth,” he offered with a mischievous grin. “Lucky for you I know the perfect place.”

His excuse? His absolute only memories were of hell. Turning into a demon the way he had had wiped out all his human memories and the little demon only knew the last sixty years he had spent in hell training to do just this. He wasn't trying to repress hell, why repress when it was all he knew? He was just doing what Asmodues sent him off to do, and with the youngest prince of hell being the closest person to the blond and having nothing else to really do… he listened. He enjoyed killing other demons, it was a task he found fun. But when your job is to kill any demon that stands against the man you're working for, you don't exactly make any friends. And being alone only gave him more time to hunt down Asmodues's enemies. It was a vicious never ending cycle that wasn't going to change anytime soon as far as Izrael could tell. Hell either hated him, feared him, or admired him from afar - very afar. No one was brave enough to chance getting on Izzy's bad side. And those that were like the hoard tonight that actually tried to kill him were just too stupid to stay away and deserved to die anyways as far as he was concerned.

Of course he knew who Dean was once he heard his name. But the hunter didn't need to know that Izrael had heard of him. He eyed the other’s hand for a moment before he sighed and half gave in to the man, though didn't reach his own hand out, "Izzy Hilton," he said, using the name that Asmodues had given him for when he had to pretend to be human. Though he had no idea that it actually was his name. That Asmodues called him Izrael to see if any of the once nineteen year old’s memories would spark with little clues like that. It never did. "They're always on the lookout for me… wouldn't be anything new…" he said with a little shrug, getting the gut feeling that this hunter was not about to let him go off on his own anytime soon. The last thing the little demon needed was to do spend time with a fucking Wincester, especially the one that spent all that time in hell. "No offense, but I don't really work with others. Thanks for the help back there and everything, but you're Dean Winchester… so you and I working together is a bad idea. Trust me."

With both hands back on the wheel, Dean snorted when Izzy said that demons watching out was nothing new. He understood that, that's what made the Bunker so beautiful. It was the definition of a safe house for spooky shit and basically everything else. He sucked some air between his teeth when it seemed the other knew who he was by name, having heard some of the stuff hunters thought of him while he was putting in time at the Roadhouse. “Fair, I mean we did just meet and I also just saved your ass from a fucking gaggle of demons, but okay,” he said, half joking. “We don’t know each other, and inviting you to my secret Men of Letters bunker can seem a little Silence of the Lambs but I promise, imma damn puppy dog compared to your normal party guests,” he said,. Ane yes, he did just name drop the Men of Letters to see if that helped his case. Dean wasn’t a creep and if Izzy wanted out he’d drop them off wherever they wanted but all horn-dog habits aside, he wouldn’t rest well if he did. He’d probably end up asking around and looking into this pretty Izzy Hilton to see what her story was about. “Again, I know bunker can be off putting, but this place is huge, over twenty bedrooms to pick from. It’s armed to the teeth so nothing is getting in. I have one of the few keys to get in but you can get out whenever you like,” he added, trying to seem a little less kidnappy and rapey. “That and there's a hundred year old whiskey collection.”

Izzy had absolutely zero ideas of what other hunters thought of the man he was currently sitting next too. Up until now, he had done a really good job at avoiding them in his travels and work. Sure, to be on the safe side he did do some research on hunters who seemed to be the biggest threats but until now he hadn't actually met any of them. So, right now he couldn't figure out if it was just bad fucking luck that Dean Winchester happened to walk in on his ambush, or some weird good luck to get him out of it unharmed. Even after over fifty years as a demon, almost sixty now maybe? He honestly had never actually hurt a human. So did he deserve this kind of bad luck? On the other hand though, can demons actually have good luck? It was really confusing.

Fact was, Izzy only knew of Dean Winchester from the mouths of other demons. His research on hunters in general was by word of mouth in hell. It wasn't like there were any books he could read on them. So he knew the man was obviously a good hunter, and not just when it came to demons. He knew the idiot sold his soul to save that dumbass brother of his that was hanging around one of the main demons on his own hit list. It was just really hard to get to the bitch when she was being protected by the hunter drinking demon blood. He only knew that from actually running across her once, he could fucking smell the demon blood radiating from the human she was with and it didn't take long to figure out who that human was and what fucking Ruby was doing with him. Little Sammy Winchester. Lovely. He also knew the man next to him spent what was like forty years in hell, being tortured for most of them by fucking Alastair. It had come as a surprise when he heard that there was some sort of angel watching out for him. Well, the angel part wasn't really known when he figured it out. It was just known that the man was pulled out of hell and Izrael knew that an Angel was the only way the man could have escaped hell and returned to his body the way he had. And really, he would prefer to avoid angels. Most demons weren't really that much of a threat to him. They could likely hurt him but Izzy was not easy to actually kill. Not that they had quite figured that out yet. But he had no idea what an angel might be able to do to him.

Izrael couldn't remember his own torture. He actually had no idea it even happened. Ever since the day Asmodues found his newly turned demon in that cage he kept his pet in, the youngest prince acted as though that was the first day of Izzy's life. He didn't even know that he was in that cage because of that man in the first place. "I'm not afraid of you, Dean, even though I'm pretty damn sure you're no puppy dog," Izzy told him with a little roll of his eyes, the man who had spent his last few years in hell torturing other souls was far from a puppy. But he had caught Izzy's attention mentioning the Men of Letters. He vaguely remembered Asmodues mentioning them decades ago. Something about them being all dead now… about them holding knowledge no one else had. Going to this bunker… could prove useful if the knowledge thing was true.

Izzy finally looked over at Dean again, tucking hair behind his ears, "Well whiskey is always a very good and tempting offer," he said, chewing on his lip a little as he thought it over. "If you're all armed like you say you are… Do you also have books and shit? Like, books on demons and shit." Izzy knew he had been turned differently than almost every other demon that existed, he had to have been to have his own body and no ability whatsoever to jump from one meatsuit to the next, but he had no idea what happened to make him this way. And no book he had found since being set loose on the world had been able to give him the answer he was looking for. If this bunker had hidden knowledge it might be his best bet to find out how he turned, because Asmodues wasn't telling him anytime soon. "And I really wouldn't have to just stay if I don't want to. I can just walk out? Seriously?"

Dean just grinned when the other said he was pretty sure he wasn’t a puppy, calling him out like that. And he believed them when they said that they weren’t scared of him, he did find her in the middle of a demon infested alleyway in the middle of the night. His grin grew when Izzy seemed to be mulling the thought over. He raised an eyebrow and chanced a longer glance at the other when he was asked about books. That he hadn’t been expecting, didn’t peg her for a book type. There might be something they were looking for specifically that the old bats had locked away. He would definitely be doing an inventory check but hey it sounded like they were coming around to the idea. A new face and alone time might do him some good, even if they don't get handsy and this Izzy turned out to be a gigantic book worm.

“Like I said you need a magic key to get in but getting out isn’t a problem, locks behind you but I gotta warn you the cell service sucks,” he said with a smile. He altered his route and started out of town and toward the bunker. The long ride was pretty much silent after that, Dean was honestly a bit too nervous to say something and have the blond change her mind about coming. He couldn't help wanting to help her, wanting to figure her out at least a little. From wanting to protect the little thing and knowing that he would just worry about them at this point. “Just don’t take anything, alright? Not really supposed to take people to the BatCave but…” he trailed off with a shrug after he parked by the bunker, obviously making an exception for the blond right now.

Izzy shrugged when he mentioned cell service, that meant pretty much nothing to him. Of course he knew what a cell phone was, he had been in this world long enough. But he never felt the need to get one. Who the hell was he gonna call? "No big deal, no cell phone. I was serious, I've never worked with someone else before. Never felt the need to get one," he shrugged, as little like it was normal or something to not have a cell this day and age. He honestly didn't actually know either way though. "And I don't plan on taking anything. I've got my own weapons and shit. Just… looking for a little info is all. If you happen to have a book with what I want to know, well, then I won't really need it anymore once I read it." He ignored the Bat Cave comment for the moment, not wanting to let the hunter next to him realize he actually understood the reference. He especially didn't want him to know he found it amusing.

Dean decided to leave Baby in a little hidden knook they made for when they didn’t plan on staying long and putting her in the very nice garage. He just grinned as they walked up to the old green doors after grabbing a bag from the trunk and he pulled it open for the other. Once past the first threshold Dean unlocked the second doors and stepped through, holding it open for the other. “This is the legacy of the Men of Letters, a bit old and dusty but we’re still fixing the place up.” he said as they made their way down the spirling, metal staircase. He walked past the light up map table and tossed his bag on the first long table in the library. “Wanna tour?” he asked as he turned to the other, smiling at them.

He just wanted a fucking book that explained how humans became demons. Without their souls spending hundreds of years tortured in hell. Asmodues had no choice but to tell him that he turned differently than everyone else when he realized he couldn't just jump from meat suit to meat suit like everyone else could. His soul never left his body, something in him changed while he was still a human. But that was all Asmodues would say on the subject. Honestly it was the one thing about the man who called himself Izzy's master that drove him absolutely insane. He didn't care so much about whatever his human life was since he couldn't miss what he didn't remember or had any sort of idea what it might have been like, but he did want to know why he turned into a demon. Was he evil in his previous life? Is that how it worked? He remembered someone once saying that he must have cracked to change the way he did, but cracked from what and how? He just wanted to know how the fuck he came into existence. What made him so different from other demons. Why even Dagon, who knew that Izzy couldn't kill her without that oh so special gun, feared him to some extent. And nothing he had found so far explained any of that shit. Was he a bookworm? Mmm, debatable. Ask any demon who knew him they'd say no,, but Izzy was really good at keeping things about himself pretty damn secret. The less people knew the less they had on you and the safer you were. But the truth was that he did love books, loved to read and learn. And now that he wasn't under Asmodues' thumb at all times and had a mission to carry out, he was able to use research for said mission as an excuse to read. Sure, he was actually doing research but for so much more than anyone actually knew.

Izzy was a bit unsure following Dean into the bunker when they got there. This could be a really, really stupid idea. But on the other hand… he was going to have info on the Winchester's no one else could possibly dream of having and he might get a few other answers out of this as well so he followed along. He looked around as Dean led him through the place, tilting his head and letting a confused little look cross his face as he tilted his head back to see the ceiling, "Uh, sure, if you want. So, do you keep the bats in some special room or something? I kinda just pictured them all over the place."

Her not havung a phone probably should have set off more red fags then it did because even if you were a loner it was useful to have one since pay phones were all but extinct. He tilted his own head when Izzy had mentioned bats, that had been a reaction he might have expected from Cas but really? “It’s not really a batca-... never mind. This is our fortress,” he said, just trying to get past what he felt was a painful moment. He turned on his heel and held up his arms out on either side as he gestured to the books. “This is the library. Nothing says stuffy bookworms like having a library right at the front door right?” He said with a laugh, turning completely to face the other as he walked around one of the tables.

If Izrael actually cared much about completely blending in when he was going by Izzy he probably would have gotten a cell phone. But truth be told, he didn't actually care what humans thought about him and despite Asmodues having insisted he play the part on earth he could probably count on one hand how many times he had ever used the name Izzy before. Since he usually avoided hunters he rarely ever felt the need too. So really… What was the point of carrying around a little electronic box used to call people? The only person who would ever actually want to get ahold of him had his own ways of doing so. But even Asmodues left Izzy to himself for the most part nowadays as long as he kept doing what he was told and continued to work his damnedest to keep Lucifer in his box. Though if he had realized how odd it actually was to not have one, he wouldn't have mentioned it.

Of course it wasn't actually a Bat Cave. It almost annoyed him that the hunter found it so easy to believe that the batman reference really meant nothing to the blond. Sure, part of him was glad too because he didn't want the fact that he enjoyed those comics to be known by anyone, but still… how stupid did this hunter think he really was if he believed that Izzy? He was pretty sure that Batman was popular among humans. It was the Winchester thinking he was dumb that bothered him more than anything though, because that was just not true. Izzy had always been rather smart, even before he turned, he had a near photographic memory. But with all memories of humanity gone, and those memories being from close to sixty years before anyways, all that was left was hell and the supernatural. And he figured that shit out quickly, easily. Humans, not so much. Humanity and what they were like and what they did like were never on his list of things he needed to learn about. Humans weren't his targets. "No offense, but you don't exactly strike me as the bookworm type," he said, moving around the table to go and look at the spines of the books, fingers running lightly over them. Yeah, this would definitely be his best bet at finding answers. Some of these were obviously old as fuck. "The kill first and ask questions later type. Though I suppose since all you hunters go after everything supernatural, you need the lore books, huh?" He personally didn't bother with any other supernatural beings, just the demons on Lucifer and Dagon's side. Which was probably a good thing for them, if this little demon were to ever start working as a real hunter with someone like Dean… they wouldn't stand a chance. As they had proved earlier… the two of them working on the same side had some pretty nasty consequences for those fighting against them.

Dean chuckled when Izzy said he didn’t seem like the book worm type, oh hell no that was Sammy’s department. “Yeah no, that's more my brother's thing,” he said as he walked over to the opposite wall, towards the small table with a few bottles filled clear, brown liquid and a few glasses. “I at least wait long enough to see what I'm fighting so I know how to kill it.” Dean poured them a few glasses and headed to the closest main table to the blond. He leaned against it on his hip and took a sip from his glass while he held out the other to Izzy. The other’s wording did strike him as odd though and he raised an eyebrow a little. The way he said it was just off, but Dean wanted to think Izzy was just into demons, and therefore could know some pretty useful stuff. That or maybe he was really green and thought of himself being different from regular hunters. His gut was telling him something was still off though, but he wasn’t sure what.

Izzy was glad his back was to the hunter when he mentioned his brother so he didn't see the little demon roll his eyes and scowl at the mention of that junkie who was seriously getting in his way with that bitch he was attached to. He was pretending he didn't really know much about them… which wasn't a complete lie, but he had a serious suspicion he knew something about the younger Winchester that Dean didn't. He might know about the demon bitch Sam hung out with but he highly doubted this man knew about the blood and psychic shit that boy was playing with. The psychic shit was honestly the main reason he hadn't gone after Ruby yet, he wasn't like other demons, he had no idea how Sam's little exercising shit would affect him.

“You know, you never mentioned what you were looking into. I’m guessing something demon related,” he mentioned to the other. There wasn’t much small talk on the car ride over.

He didn't say anything for a bit while Dean spoke and walked around the room, more interested in looking through the shelves of books for anything that looked promising. But he never let his guard down really, constantly aware of where Dean was around him or how close he was. He stiffened a bit when he felt Dean closer again and he asked that direct question. Izzy didn't really want to answer anything he was asked, but avoiding taking to him too much might just seem more suspicious. Fuck. He really should have paid more attention to the humans around him the last decade, he was really bad at trying to be one. "Yeah, demon related," Izzy finally said as he turned around and saw Dean holding out the whiskey he had promised. Alcohol didn't really affect him as much as it did humans unless he drank an ungodly amount so he wasn't worried about drinking at least.

He took the glass offered to him and leaned against the bookshelf behind him, shrugging his shoulder a little, "Don't know if you picked up on it during that whole ambush shit, but I kinda hunt demons. Apparently I'm pretty good at it since they don't seem to like me much at all." He took a drink from the whiskey he was given, relishing in the burn that goes down his throat. As a demon, the little blond didn't need to eat. The few times he did were few and far between and it was always for some reason he couldn't figure out, but knew he just wanted whatever the hell it was that he was trying. But he did like to drink. Alcohol that is. He liked the burn.

"Just curious what kind of people become demons and how. Always good for a guy to know everything he can about his enemies and all, yanno?" It wasn't a lie. He had actually been avoiding actually lying to the hunter. Izzy didn't like to lie, it was too hard to remember the fake information he had given to who. So the only thing he had lied about was his name, but that wasn't that big of a lie as Izzy did sound like a nickname for Izrael. Mostly, he was just leaving out details he didn't think Dean needed to know. Like the fact he was a demon and really just wanted to know how he, himself, had turned. How demons like him were made. Because as far as the books he had found about demons elsewhere knew, Cain was the only other person to become a demon this way. And almost nothing was fucking known about that man. As a matter of fact, he was the one demon who no matter how hard he tried Izzy could not fucking find. Not that he had really looked into how to find him. He didn't want to kill Cain like he did with everyone else he hunted down, he wanted answers. But even so, he knew Cain wasn't exactly like him and probably didn't have the answers he wanted. So that had just been another fucking dead end. The little blond didn't do a whole lot of shit that he actually wanted to do or something anyways, ninety percent of his time was spent following Asmodues' orders to hunt down Dagon's followers and make sure Lucifer didn't get out of that cage.

Dean nodded a little when the other confirmed that it was demon related, easy guess. “You don’t pick up that kind of attention without being a major pain in their ass,” he said with a snicker. The man's shoulders stiffened when he took another drink when Izzy said what he was looking into. What kind of people become demons. He forced back a smile and shifted a little as he tried to keep his mind focused on the task at hand and not let it run off with the flashbacks and nightmares he has. It felt like every time he blinked he was hit with a flash of something he’d seen or had done. He told everyone he didn't’ remember any of it and refused to talk about it and self medicated with liquor like any good hunter.

Well duh, obviously he was a pain in their asses. Two dozen of them had actually gotten together without someone in power telling them what to do to try and take him out. They failed, miserably thanks to the hunter near him right now, but it didn't negate the fact that Izzy was a huge threat to them and their plans. Really though, if the whole fucking lot of them just fucking stopped trying to set Lucifer free Izzy would have no problem leaving them alone. But until that happened…. He had a job to do. What the hell would he do with himself if Asmodeus actually managed to take the crown and this mission was over? He'd actually never thought about that before. Every single memory he had had something to do with him having to keep Lucifer in the cage.

“Well demons are mostly twisted and tortured souls. You get twisted up so much down there you turn into something else,” he said, rubbing at his brow as he fidgeted a little as he spoke. “At the end of the day they're a spirit, just nastier. You don’t normally catch one running around before they possess someone but the same tricks apply, salt and iron,” he told him, running off a few things off the top of his head, mostly from first hand experience. “I’m sure you know all about devils traps and all that,” he said, waving his hand and finally looking over at the other. It was probably a good thing Dean had been so caught up with that Izzy was looking into that he completely missed the suspicious pronoun.

Izzy couldn't help but roll his eyes at Dean when the man just told him shit he already knew. Was he actually under the impression that someone he thought was a legit demon hunter didn't know that shit already? Also. He was wrong. While holy water did have the same effect on him that it did to most demons, salt and iron actually didn't bother him for some reason. Every single voice in his head was screaming at him to keep his mouth shut for a while, to not get sucked into this conversation. But the thing was… he actually wanted to talk about this shit. He never talked with anyone about shit he actually wanted too. Demons avoided him unless they were trying to kill him, he avoided humans and hunters, and Asmodues pretty much just told him what to do. The little demon didn't actually have any memories of just talking with someone about something he was interested in. And this happened to be the biggest fucking intrest he really had right now.

"See, right there just proves you really have no fucking clue what you're actually dealing with, do you? Obviously being tortured in hell is going to fuck up any soul in some way, but not every soul in hell becomes a demon. This world would be fucked if they did. There are millions and millions of souls in hell." He only just stopped himself from pointing out that despite Dean's own torture and escapades with Alastair he didn't actually turn into a demon. No, a fucking angel actually came and pulled him from the pit. So what the hell was it that made some souls twist the same way he had even though he hadn't gone through that die and be tortured shit and made others just… well, be tortured for all eternity. Or torture as was the case with some. "Yeah, most of them are just nastier twisted spirits, and you don't normally see one walking around without someone else's meat suit… but they can. It's apparently super fucking rare for it to happen, but a human can just wake up a demon somehow. In their own skin and everything. So I want to know what makes the souls that twist that way different from those that don't. What kind of person they must have been. And what happens to those people who turn? How does that happen? But unfortunately, because it's so fucking rare, I haven't been able to find a single book in the last ten years that actually explains that shit." He sighed a little in frustration at the thought before just shaking his head and finishing the rest of his own drink before he turned his back to Dean again to start looking through the books again, waving his own hand in dismissal of the subject. Dean wasn't going to have the answers he wanted obviously. "But yes, of course I know all about devils traps. I just don't use them." He couldn't if he wanted too, not unless he wanted to get stuck inside one himself. Besides, even if he could… with the way he hunted, it would be pretty damn useless and time consuming to try since it was usually a sneak attack/ambush of his own on their own grounds. Wasting time with a devils trap when it was just so much easier to kill them just seemed stupid. "Do you have any sort of order with these books or am I gonna have to look through all of them to find the ones about demons?"

Dean was a little taken back when Izzy said that he had no clue about demons. He felt anger rise up in his belly and his face tightened some. His pride didn’t like that but the built up emotion subsided the more Izzy spoke. He did have a point, if that’s all it took then Hell would be nothing but demons. He never really focused on the fine details, he just killed them. His face became a mix of surprises and doubt when Izzy kept going and told him about the type of demons that keep their bodies. What the hell? He’d never heard of something like that before, what the hell could it be capable of? It was a worrying thought. “This keeps getting better and better,” Dean muttered under his breath. He couldn't stop his brain from thinking about his younger brother on his road trip with his little demon buddy. What if that was Ruby's plan, twist his brother into one of them? He’d fucking gank that bitch before she could try. He wanted to call and check up but that hadn’t gone so well last time.

He made a small face when Izzy asked about an order to the crazy amount of information. He finished his half glass of whiskey and pushed off of the table, setting the glass down before walking away. “I have a feeling what we’re looking for isn’t in here, come on,” He said, motioning the other to follow him with a head nod. He led the blond down the hall a bit, through another doorway and down some stairs. He pushed one of the two heavy doors open and held it open for the other hunter. “When we started going through the stuff that was left here we found that most of the heavy reading books are in here,” He told him. The room was about 25 by 25 feet, metal shelving lined all the walls filled with books and some jars. There was a decent sized table in the middle of the room under the only light, taking up a good chunk of the free space.

Dean just nearly kidnapped the little blond he helped out that he knew nothing about other than the fact he could kill demons pretty damn well and brought him to his secret bunker and he thought anything that came out of this idea wouldn't be completely fucked? Hell. He was pretty damn sure that Dean didn't even realize yet that he hadn't stepped in to help a pretty little girl, but actually a boy who just happened to look a lot like one. Add on to that fact that this boy was also one of those freaky ass demons he was just talking about and you could see clearly that this man definitely hadn't thought this through. "You have no idea," Izzy mumbled back, not sure or honestly even caring if Dean heard him.

Izzy set down the glass still in his hand before he shrugged again and followed Dean through the bunker. Fuck. This place really was huge. Izzy couldn't help but grin a little when he looked into the room. Dark. Enclosed. No way for anyone to try and sneak up on him again. Exactly the kind of rooms he liked and usually worked in when he was looking for a party to crash. "Awesome," he said as he walked in the room. Creepy jars and big old books lining the walls on top of everything else, Izzy had instantly and probably noticeably relaxed more when he was in the room that was so much like a place he would actually want to be in. He didn't say anything else as he started scanning the books on one of the shelves, his eyes widening some when he saw what he instantly felt like he had been looking for for years now. It was smaller than any of the other books in here, but that wasn't surprising considering how little information there probably was at all on demons like him. Humans Turning Demon.

Izzy grabbed the book off the shelf and took a few steps backwards to push himself up to sit on the table, just remembering that Dean was there as he went to open the book. "Uhm… thanks," he said, forcing himself to remember that he was supposed to be a human and actually used to having someone around and even weirder for him- that someone helping him. "Hey… uh, why are you being so like… nice and normal to me? As far as I've seen, people aren't just nice to strangers. Especially when said stranger is a pretty boy who can shove a knife into a human skull."

Dean noticed the small change in the others' demeanor when he showed them the room. The room didn’t bother him or his brother too much but ‘awesome’ wasn’t the normal reaction to this stuff. Though in this line of work, who’s really normal? You see a lot of weird and horrible shit fast and you pick up a few quirks along the way. He had half turned when the other called out to him and thanked him, he was going to leave Izzy alone to do their digging. He raised an eyebrow when he was asked why he was being so helpful. He opened his mouth with a grin to say it was just the right thing to do for a lady when Izzy said that last part, his words luckily getting caught up in his throat. BOY!? WHOLY FUCK!! Dean’s back straightened as he looked the other over again. It took him a second or two to catch himself and he cleared his throat out a little. “Well you want demons dead and I want demons dead,” he said with a shrug, his brain still trying to absorb this enlightening new detail about the blond. “And I learned about a new fleshy kind of demon, win win,” Dean chuckled. Hell all of Dean seemed stiff. Right now, he honestly didn’t know what the fuck to do.

1 note · View note

kainetestament · 4 years ago

Text

Falcon and Winter Soldier Episode 1 and 2 breakdown.

My oh My, Marvel is really giving us some sort of like a reality check in here. They added twists here that our current society are facing to hopefully “probably” teach us about our humanity as an individual.

In Episode 1, the series started out with Sam being on a mission in Tunisian Airspace to save Captain Vassant, who is now help hostage by LAF, there’s no reference to LAF in the comic, but here in MCU – it is describe as a criminal organization who is taking advantage of the commotion of the reverse blip in order to make profit. And here, Batroc makes his appearance once again after his first appearance in Captain America and Winter Soldier. Just a quick fact, Georges Batroc is portrayed by Georges St-Pierre, who not only shares his first name, but St-Pierre is a MMA Champion with a record of 28 matches of 26 wins and 2 losses, *woooot*, no wonder his moves are so fluid.

Moving on, Sam is now in Washington giving his speech as he surrenders Captain America’s shield, in which he believed will be put in the museum in honor and respect for Steve Rogers, but little did her know, there was a conspiracy behind it (which we’ll discuss later). James Rhodes still tried to talk some sense out of him, but Sam’s always reply with “It feels like it belongs to someone else. That someone else is Steve.” But let’s try to pay attention to what Rhodey say’s to him back.

World’s a crazy place right now. People are… Well, nobody’s stable. Allies are now enemies. Alliances are all torn apart. The world’s broken. Everybody is just looking for somebody to fix it.

It makes me think that Rhodey is specifically referring to Wanda when he said nobody is stable, not the people of the world specifically, because when we speak to someone, we know that everyone else are experiencing hardship, but we will always use someone as an example for the conversation, but on this case, they avoided referencing Wanda directly. Also the series takes place “months after the blip”, we don’t have the exact timeline yet, but we do know it takes place after WandaVision (two months earliest) and before Spider-Man Far From Home. So Rhodey receiving a report of Wanda’s actions, and Vision’s revival and Westview rampage is not impossible. The “Allies are now enemies. Alliances are all torn apart.” reference can have double meaning, considering what they did in WandaVision where they made the audience feel there’s more to that statement. But this can be an easter egg to Dr. Strange where they use the same tagged line for the movie prep while the alliances could referring to Avengers itself (though it already is, but they still considered that HQ as their home till Thanos destroyed it), S.H.I.E.L.D (we know this is not the same SHIELD of Nick Fury as he is now in space as hinted in SM:FFH), S.W.O.R.D (with Hayward abusing his authorities), and possibly the Sokovia Accords because of what Wanda and Vision did in Westview. But as I said, because of what Marvel did in WandaVision, in the end , they could probably just dismiss it as some government related stuff.

We now have Barnes who is reliving in his nightmares of the killing. Plate Number 10872 FQ is a reference to Marvel Comics called Introducing the New Captain America and Bucky that was publish in October 1987, where John Walker is now the new Captain America as shown at the end of the episode. Other think I actually like about Bucky’s therapy session was when the doctor asked for his phone, he is using a flip phone, not just any flip phones, looks like a AT&T Cingular Flip 2 (I guess it pays off learning about phones because I used to work for them, ahahaha), and since its year 2023-24 in this timeline, it’s quite fun to see this small detail done so perfectly because AT&T no longer service 2G signals since January 2017 (if I remember it correctly), to give way into 5G services. Anyway, this attention to detail about Bucky using a 4G flip phone is pretty amazing. And how am I guessing this is an AT&T phone? Well, in Infinity War, the phone Steve gave Tony is also another AT&T Flip Phone which I think is a Z223 (a 3G flip phone – not to be confused with Z222 which is a 2G version and both phones look identical). It’s quite funny actually that AT&T, who is the parent company of WarnerMedia (WB who owns DC) is very present here.

Then now we see Sam going back to his family whom he hasn’t visited for quite some time. Here he sees the struggle of his sister, and tried to offer his help. We can probably assume as per his behavior that when they go to the bank, their loan request will be approve because of his affiliations of saving the world and for being the Falcon, but reality check slapped him hard, the guy didn’t even bother listening to their plans and straight out denied their loan application – which was made clear in Episode 2 as to what the problem could actually be.

We now also see Bucky answering the set-up date Yori made for him with the woman name Leah, who works as a waitress at the Japanese Bar/Restaurant called Izzy. As their conversation proceeded, Bucky ran away to find Yori under the pretense of owing him his lunch, when in reality, it was his guilt of killing his son who became witness of his assassination.

Episode 1 ends by introducing the new Captain America, holding the shield Sam surrendered in the museum.

Episode 2 started with John Walker visiting his Alma Mater, Custer’s Grove High School. His full introduction even played Captain America’s theme song only re-arrange to match modern era. During his interview for GMA, he mentions that “I’m not Tony Stark, I’m not Doctor Banner, okay? I don’t have the flashiest gadgets, I don’t have super strength. But what I do have is guts.” Mentioning these lines could probably a way of him to get the sympathy of the people, by saying I’m not Tony Stark is like an indication that he doesn’t have the money, brains (to invent), or Iron Man suit that can make him powerful. By saying he’s not Doctor Banner, who have seven PhD’s and can transform himself into the Hulk, and debatable as the strongest Avenger, he can make almost like an assurance to the people that as an ordinary human, he have the guts to fight to the best of his abilities.

Bucky who is watching the whole interview, have a smirk on his face for disbelief and disappointment that his best friend’s shield is now in the hands of a wanna be. It then cuts to Sam who is also in disbelief that everywhere he go, he is seeing the face an unfamiliar guy wielding the shield that Cap gave him. He got ambushed by Bucky to told him he shouldn’t have surrendered the shield to which Sam replied “No, of course I didn’t know that was gonna happen. You think it didn’t break my heart to see them march him out there and call him the new Captain America?” – which I believe is his wholehearted feeling as he was cheated and betrayed by the government. But let us also pay attention to what Sam said after Bucky told him “This isn’t what Steve want.”

Oh my God. So what do you want me to do? Call America and tell ‘em I change my mind?

It’s easy to assume that the government and him probably had a conversation about becoming the new Captain America, but more than likely he declined, that’s why in Episode 1, Rhodey told him “I see you’re gonna make me ask. Why didn’t you take up the mantle?” Well, it’s probably more complex than his “It feels like it belongs to someone else.” –but we’ll talk about it in a bit.

I find it really funny about Bucky jumping off the plane feeling nervous, yelling even. I think the purpose of the director and writers are doing this is basically to give Bucky the opportunity or making the audiences feel that, even though he was an emotionless, robotic-like assassin, he can change and by including the rules his therapist gave him, can help him gain his humanity back.

1. Can’t do anything illegal.

2. Nobody gets hurt.

3. Unspoken (probably to introduce himself not as the Winter Soldier but Bucky Barnes or just simply smile). Dr Raynor only says that “The whole point of making amends is to fulfill rule number three.”

Also I really just wanna guess who those under 10 contact numbers are. We are sure its Dr. Rayner and Sam, I’m guessing it also has Steve’s old number, I wanna guess T’Challa too, so that’s four of them. Hmmmm, can’t really think of anybody else.

By the way, the SMILING thing. Right now, Bucky’s smiling is so unnatural, but even so, if he keeps on doing it, one day, he can smile naturally. And now we can also see him showing another kind of emotion, NERVOUSNESS – when he was about to jump down the plan. I'm pretty sure if he is his former Winter Soldier, he won’t even feel the slightest nervousness jumping off the plane, let alone landing gracefully, in contrast to here where he landed, let’s admit it, quite shamefully, even Torres will surely agree with me here. Then there's also the AGGRAVATION towards the new Captain America because of the shield. And the most important part of his humanity that’s resurfacing is his GUILT or CONSCIENCE, where his nightmare and Yori’s presence speaks very loudly.

While Bucky is stealthily walking, Sam references him as a White Panther, which is basically him being Caucasian and came back from his like rehabilitation in Wakanda, he has become like opposite of T’Challa’s Black Panther. And now Bucky corrects him by saying his new moniker is now White Wolf, a name that T’Challa bestowed on him (if not referred only).

Now for the action part, we get to witness once more Bucky’s Super Soldier ability by seeing how he outruns the second truck and catch up with the first truck, and these are 14-wheeler trucks (they’re scary in real life ahaha). Anyway, the battle began after the suspected hostage turns out to the head of the group, threw Bucky onto the windshield of the second truck, then pulled up by the other two members on top of the truck and John Walker and Lamar Hoskins joining them after.

I’m pretty sure STACKIE fans out there went nuts with a bit of that fan-service they did, when Falcon dive under the first truck on the way to the second truck to save Bucky, but I think the wings got caught on the ground making Sam loose his balance that’s why they went rollin’ on the yellow flower field – which looks like either chrysanthemum or daisy, which is in flower language, Yellow Daisy means a good friend while Yellow Chrysanthemum can mean neglect of love or sorrow. It actually looks more like daisy, it’s just that the leaves kind of looks like chrysanthemum… I could be wrong, but if it is daisy, then putting a yellow daisy here will be could actually mean that a good friendship is about to start and the chrysanthemum could mean their sorrow stemming from Steve and living up to his expectations.

We now have Bucky and Sam being invited by John and Lamar to ride with them on their jeep stating that it’s about 20miles to the airport and they need a ride. After joining them on the jeep, we now can see finally having a proper conversation. But we can see that Sam actually have to asked them twice about what are they doing there, they have successfully avoided the first time by stating that they checked their location thru Red Wing and on the second time, Lemar responded with “Well, they provide the resources and we keep things stable.” Then John followed it with “Yeah, violent revolutionaries aren’t usually good for anyone’s cause.” –which from my understanding, still doesn’t answer Sam’s question, that why Sam sarcastically responded with “Usually said by the people with the resources.” Then now John offered the two to join them, in which Bucky frankly declined, the Lemar tried to rub salt on their wound by saying their asses were getting kicked till they show up, that starts to tick off Bucky, until he mentions he’s called Battlestar, which pissed Bucky off even further. I’m not really sure why he got pissed after hearing that, but I’m guessing (yes, guessing, meaning I'm not sure) that the reason he got pissed was because Lemar have a hero name, pretty much like Bucky being the Winter Soldier/White Wolf and Sam being the Falcon, and of course Steve being the true Captain America, Bucky probably felt insulted that not only America made a new Captain America, they even gave him a side kick with a hero name.

Bucky got off the jeep first then John apologizing to Sam by saying he’s not Steve and is not trying be like him, but trying to be a Captain America in his own way. Sam left the jeep as well after he felt insulted when John wanted Sam and Bucky, who are Steve’s best friend and partners, to be his wingmen. John clearly have no idea of what their relationship really is and calling them Steve’s wingmen rather than Steve’s friend or partner, but he used wingmen, that John interprets as they are just someone that supports Steve, he’s clearly belittling them, that’s why Sam scoffs and responded with “It’s always that last line.”

We now see the Flagsmashers arriving on a place of one their group’s supporters to get some rest. Their leader Karli received a text message saying “You took what’s mine. I’m going to find you and kill you.” –which I think is a message from John Walker. Because in the comics, John became like a super soldier from Powerbroker, and in here, we can probably theorized that the real reason he is in Munich is to get his hand on the serum but Karli stole it from him before he could get his hands on it.

We now have Sam and Bucky on military plane and Bucky telling Sam that they should take the shield back, in which Sam told they can’t do it just like that cause the last time they did (also in Germany), Sharon – Peggy’s niece who was also a CIA, helped Steve and Sam get their weapons back (shield and wings before the airport battle in Civil War), then they went on hiding until Thanos came, and Bucky was taken in by T’Challa to cure him at Wakanda. Sharon was punished for her actions, and she will be making her appearance any time soon since the ED also have her picture included but her name is not yet present since she hasn’t made any appearance yet.

Bucky brought Sam to Baltimore, MD to meet the Black Super Soldier, Isaiah Bradley. As they walk thru the neighborhood on the way to Isaiah’s house , looks like the show have already hinted what’s about to come in the future. The kid upon being introduced called Sam the Black Falcon, instead of just simply the Falcon. Sam played with the kid by asking him “Is it because I’m black and I'm the Falcon?” and the kid confusedly replied with “Well, technically, I mean, yes.” Then Sam playfully responded with “So are you, like, Black kid?” and they started laughing it off. But if you look at it from a different perspective, it is kind of like the premonition, because within their conversation, it can only be done by them, because if a white person actually say that phrase? I’m pretty sure, that laugh in the end will not be present. There’s more to it but I’ll discuss it after.

Sam and Bucky arrived at Isaiah’s house, and Bucky introduced him to Sam by saying “He was a hero. One of the ones that HYDRA feared the most, like Steve.” As their conversation proceeded, Isaiah explained that others like him that were sent in Goyang never came back, so the military sent him to deal with Bucky and he won that battle. But instead of being celebrated as a hero, the military or government decided to brand him and put him in jail for 30 years. I’m not gonna use his comic s counterpart since MCU have their own story retelling. But as I mentioned before, it’s a premonition.

Then Bucky and Sam left the house and Sam feeling a bit frustrated due to disbelief that other than Bucky and Steve, there’s another Super Soldier still alive for decades. Then here comes a bit of reality check in America. A patrolling police catches them having an argument. Soon after, the police asked for Sam’s ID but didn’t asked for Bucky’s but instead asked Bucky if this man is bothering him. Now this is actually quite a very, very good reality check and I applaud the Malcolm Spellman and Kari Skogland for putting this kind of a wakeup call here. These scene or event is very powerful and it mirrors the reality of the black community experiencing the racial profiling from the police brutality in America. We can also see the house behind Sam that says STOP THE VIOLENCE, then on board beside it reads words like, HEAL THE SICK, STOP KILLING, PLANT A SEED, LOVE, TRUST. It was not until Bucky dropped the hint by saying “Do you know who this is?” and one of the police recognizing them as the Avengers and the police stared at Sam for bit and realized its Sam Wilson aka the Falcon and started apologizing by saying he didn’t recognized him since he isn’t wearing his goggles. With the police instead of just letting it go, still tried to look for a loophole, but sadly the loophole is not with Sam, but with Bucky, who missed his therapy session because of going with Sam on Munich then to Baltimore.

We now see Bucky being released thru John Walker’s authority and Dr. Raynor summoning both of them for a therapy session. The scene started out quite funny but later on, it hit hard again. Dr. Raynor asked Bucky why Sam aggravates him.

Bucky: Why did you gave up that shield?

Sam: Why are you making such a big deal out of something that has nothing to do with you?

Bucky: Steve believed in you. He trusted you. He gave you that shield for a reason. That shield, that is… that is everything he stood for. That is his legacy. He gave you that shield, and you threw it away like it was nothing.

Sam: Shut up.

Bucky: … So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me.

Sam: You finished?

Bucky: Yeah.

Sam: All right, good. Maybe this is something you or Steve will never understand. But can you accept that I did what I thought was right?

We can now also see that before Bucky leaves, it dropped yet another hint of what’s about to happen by asking his doctor, “What was rule number two again?” which is more likely will be broken and even Dr Raynor acknowledges that it will.

I’ll skip John Walker scene, and now we have Karli loadingthe plane with their Super Soldier serum supply. When a member of Flagsmashers stay behind to delay the Power Broker’s, one of Power Broker’s men who is seen wearing a bullet proof vest was seen talking over the phone saying “They got away.” whom I think he’s reporting to John Walker.

Now let jump back with Sam and Bucky. Sam asked Bucky what he’s thinking, Bucky responded with “When Isaiah said my people”… Sam understood that when he said “my people” – meaning white people that’s why Sam said “Oh, don’t take it to heart. That’s not what he meant.” To which Bucky corrected him saying “No, he meant HYDRA. HYDRA used to be my people.” And now they are off to see Zemo and now we see Zemo inside his cell.

Pheewwwwww, that’s a long post… ahahaha, see you on the next one, still working with Snyder Cut but im still considering of I should post it or not, after all, so many groups out there already made a video and article out it…but we’ll see…

#TheFalconAndTheWinterSoldier #TheFalcon #WinterSoldier #WhiteWolf #CaptainAmerica

1 note · View note

icanthelpbut-love-you · 5 years ago

Text

a snowfall kind of love

Malec discord secret santa fic featuring the prompts “snowed in, hot drinks, and tipsy cuddling” for @hanukkahmagnus. Happy Hanukkah!!!

read on ao3

Alec stifles a giggle as he frantically tries to fit the key into the lock, feeling Magnus shiver and huddle as close as possible against the snowstorm raging around them.

Growling through chattering teeth, he fumbles when the ice on the door causes the key to slip.

“Lillith, Alec it’s cold out here! Can we hurry up and get inside – preferably before rather than after we both get frostbite?”

Any other time Alec would point out that as a warlock and a shadowhunter it would be difficult for either of them to actually get frostbite given the whole accerlerated healing situation (even without considering runes or magic). But it’s almost impossible to even see the lock a few inches in front of his face through the swirling snow and Alec needs all his concentration to try and wrestle the key into submission so they can get inside rather than take that chance.

So he settles for a distracted “I’m trying,” chuckling when Magnus presses closer and mutters under his breath about the cold and incompetent shadowhunters.

He does, however, startle as Magnus slides his freezing hands around Alec’s waist to emphasise just how cold he is, but manages to recover and finally fit the key into the lock. A teasing admonishment dies on Alec’s lips as they tumble inside. It takes both of their strength to close the door against the wind outside, but it finally concedes with a flurry of snow. The howling wind outside cuts off to a muted roar. They collapse against the door and Alec can feel Magnus shaking with laughter, even as they both shiver.

He has to admit, this isn’t how he expected their evening to go. It’s the last day of their mission – if you can even call it that when it essentially amounted to Magnus helping out an old warlock friend with a spell that’s slightly above their power level, with Alec tagging along because the spell is tangentially clave business (the official reason) and because Magnus wanted his company (the more accurate unofficial reason) – so the last few hours were supposed to just be some finishing touches and socialising. But the spell had, as ancient, translated-through-several-language spells are liable to do, become unexpectedly complicated when they tried to complete those finishing touches. Which meant they fell behind schedule just long enough for he and Magnus to get caught up in a sudden snowstorm on the way back to their lodgings.

Laughter abating, he turns to Magnus and is sent into a fresh fit of giggles. The warlock is covered from head to toe in snow, and Alec is sure he’s in no better condition himself, but even more amusingly his normally-perfect mowhawk is in complete disarray from the wind. And – Alec reaches out and runs his hand through Magnus’ hair to confirm, ignoring the disgruntled huff he gets in response – is frozen stiff, crackling against his fingers.

“Why didn’t we just portal?” Alec asks, still gasping for breath slightly. Even for a trained shadowhunter, their cabin is a fair distance from the quarters where Magnus’ warlock friend lives. Especially when he’d been expecting a leisurely stroll through the gorgeous snowy mountains.

“And ruin the fun?” Magnus quips back, “We couldn’t possibly.”

Alec fixes him with a disbelieving look and stares pointedly at the floor where the snow coating their clothes is starting to melt into a puddle around them.

Magnus remains unabashed, but his tone does become a little more serious as he continues.

“Old warlock formalities. I can’t portal on another warlock’s land without permission, even if they are an old friend – the wards wouldn’t allow it,” he explains.

“C’mon Magnus don’t act like I don’t know exactly how powerful you are. You could circumvent the wards in seconds.”

“You flatter me, Alexander,” Magnus chuckles and Alec rolls his eyes.

“It’s not flattery if it’s true.”

And it is. He’s seen Magnus perform feats of magic he can barely comprehend and he’s well aware of the incredible power running through the warlock’s veins (a little too aware at times but that’s definitely not the point).

Yet when he says as much Magnus gets slightly shifty-eyed – as he always seems to when Alec compliments him on things that really should be obvious.

“Maybe so,” Magnus concedes with a shrug, after a brief pause, “But it would be an unforgivable breach of etiquette and deeply insulting to our host. I can only imagine the fallout if I made a show of the fact I could dismantle their wards for anything other than incredibly extenuating circumstances – I’d never be invited anywhere again!”

Alec has to admit he can’t argue with that; the importance of respect (or at least the illusion of it) between different factions and an understanding of the careful etiquette required to maintain it is one of the few things that translates directly between shadowhunter and warlock culture. The melodramatic way Magnus explains it still has him stifling a fond eye-roll though.

Looking out window as it rattles in the wind, Alec considers the snow still swirling outside before turning to his husband. He feels a grin creep onto his face as Magnus eyes him quizzically.

“Looks like we won’t be able to make it home this evening like we planned,” he says slyly.

Magnus mock pouts, and Alec can only smile wider at the glint of mischief in the warlock’s brown eyes.

“Such a shame,” Magnus says, taking a purposeful step closer until they’re pressed flush against each other, “The two of us, stuck in this quaint cabin in the middle of the mountains,” he inclines he head in invitation, breath puffing against Alec’s cheek in the scant space left between them and voice dropping to a low whisper, “Alone until the storm passes.”

Alec gladly obliges, pressing their lips together in a chaste kiss. He breaks away just as it starts to turn heated, dodging Magnus’ attempt to dive back in as soon as they part and grinning at the disappointed noise Magnus makes.

“I really like the way you think,” he murmurs, “But I should probably call Izzy and let her know that we’re stuck. Rather than just disappearing for the evening.”

The unimpressed look on Magnus’ face says he doesn’t see why, but he obligingly fishes the phone from Alec’s back pocket where his hand has wandered and passes it over.

(If asked, Magnus would firmly maintain that he showed commendable self-control in only copping a brief feel. Alec refuses to acknowledge either that or that frankly unbecoming squeak that escaped him.)

Izzy picks up after the first ring, clearly worried considering he’s calling her on what should be a routine mission. Concern quickly turns to scepticism, though, when Alec explains the situation. He gets as far as relaying Magnus’ spiel about the politics of portalling through a fellow warlock’s wards before she interrupts.

“I’m pretty sure being caught in a freak snowstorm counts as extenuating circumstances hermano,” she says dryly.

There’s a moment resounding silence where Alec is left floundering for a plausible reason why they can’t just send a fire message explaining the situation and get permission for a portal. Then Magnus cuts in.

“That would be a good point if I wasn’t utterly drained from this evening. All those complications in the spellwork – completely exhausting,” he explains smoothly, “I doubt I’ve got enough magic to create a portal if I tried.”

Izzy’s responding eyeroll is almost audible but she doesn’t call either of them on their bullshit. Alec is hit with wave of gratitude – he and Magnus have barely had any alone time since the wedding (perks of being high ranking leaders of their respective people) and several hours uninterrupted in the middle of nowhere sounds like heaven.

Unfortunately, Izzy knows this too if her suggestive parting encouragement to “have fun” is any indication. Alec doesn’t even need to look to know that Magnus is composing something even more suggestive to say back.

“Goodbye Izzy,” he groans and hangs up before Magnus can respond, all previous gratitude towards his sister dispelled at the prospect of having to listen to her trade innuendos with his husband.

He’s barely turned his phone off before Magnus snaps his fingers to summon a blanket and light the fire, alighting on the couch before flicking the blankets back to make space. He shoots an expectant and distinctly cat-got-the cream look at Alec who promptly bursts out laughing

“Magic depletion?” he asks increduosly.

“Oh yes,” Magnus confirms as Alec slides in next to him obligingly and snuggles up under the blanket, sighing at the warmth of his husband pressed up against him. Magnus promptly sends up another shower of sparks as he summons a steaming mug – heaped with cream and complete with actual sticks of cinnamon – for each of them, “And I think cuddling in front of the fire with the man I love is exactly what I need to recover.”

Alec presses closer with a shake of his head, still chuckling as he raises the mug to his lips.

“Well, far be it from me to deny you something so vital to your recovery,” he teases, taking a sip.

And almost doing a spectacular spit-take.

“By the Angel Magnus, how much alcohol did you put in this?”

“Just enough,” is the smug reply he gets, “Does wonders to warm you up.”

Alec raises an eyebrow in response, but the effect is definitely ruined as he takes another long sip. He tangles their legs together, rucking up Magnus’ shirt to trace patterns on his torso. Magnus shivers, though Alec’s not sure whether from the sensation or just because his hands are cold

“You know what else is good for warming you up?” he asks.

Magnus grins.

“Why don’t you enlighten me.”

“Body heat,” Alec murmurs, skimming his hands down Magnus’ ribs to emphasise his point.

He’s barely finished talking before Magnus is putting his mug to the side and shucking off his shirt, encouraging Alec to to the same with a murmured, “Can’t argue with that.”

When they’re settled again, hands gently roaming over bare skin – not with any intention but rather to just touch – Alec reaches for his cup again, relishing the warmth. His hands still feel like they’re made of ice but the hot drink and Magnus’ heated skin is definitely helping. Draining the rest, he tries not to wince at the way the alcohol has settled at the bottom of the mug making it somehow even stronger.

He catches the fond smile on Magnus’ face but before he has a chance to ask, Magnus is swiping a finger across Alec’s upper lip. He draws back and Alec has just enough time to process that some of the (frankly ridiculous amount) of cream from the cocoa must have got caught there.

Then Magnus sucks his finger into his mouth, licking it clean a way that crosses the border into indecent, and Alec’s brain short circuits.

A thought strikes him (once he’s regained the ability to think, albiet a little less clear than before) as he watches Magnus finish off his own mug with a smug wink before refilling them both. Tilting his head up from where it’s settled on Magnus’ shoulder, Alec steals a thorough kiss.

Magnus’ free hand immediately comes up to cradle Alec’s face and Alec parts his lips to deepen the kiss. Hauling Magnus closer until Magnus is practically sitting on his lap, Alec groans at the heady combination of chocolate and whiskey he can taste on Magnus’ tongue.

Eventually he manages to pull himself away and is gratified – always is, no matter how many times they do this – when he’s greeted by brilliant gold as he meets Magnus’ gaze.

“Just as I suspected,” Alec says, managing to keep a very serious demeanour until Magnus looks at him – still somewhat dazed – with such pure confusion that Alec can’t help but give in, “Tastes much better that way.”

Magnus narrows his eyes.

“I’ll keep that in mind next time I mix you a drink,” he says wryly and Alec snickers. It’s hard to tell, he thinks, whether the giddy boldness he’s feeling is because of the spiked cocoa when this is how Magnus has always made him feel anyway.

However, it quickly becomes clear that at least some of it is definitely from the cocoa, which is starting to settle over him in a pleasant fog. It’s the most content he’s felt in quite a while; curled up against his husband who’s shifting to pull the blanket more comfortably over them, with no responsibilities until at least tomorrow morning, and so, so warm despite how frozen he felt when they first sat down. Though he’d never hear the end of it if he said anything, Magnus definitely has a point about the cocoa’s warming properties.

Manuavering so his head is in Alec’s lap, Magnus makes a soft noise of approval as Alec automatically moves to run his hands through his husband’s hair. Within seconds Magnus is dozing.

Evidently there was also some truth to Magnus’ claim of magical exhaustion, as much as he was using it as an excuse, Alec muses as he toys with his sleeping husband’s hair. It wouldn’t be surprising given Magnus’ well-documented tendency to use jokes and flippancy to mask any and all vulnerability. Thinking about it now, Magnus hasn’t done anything more complicated than a summoning spell since they got back to the cabin, even though Alec can call to mind several other times where Magnus would normally resort to magic out of pure impatience.

The realisation drives home to Alec, not for the first time, how much they’ve both changed in the time they’ve known each other. When they first met, there’s no doubt that Magnus would have insisted he was fine and stayed awake well into the night to prove it. Raziel knows Alec spent their first few months visibly terrified, but in hindsight Magnus was just as bad. The only difference was he knew how to hide it. Now the Alec knows what to look for, there were so many things that screamed out how worried Magnus was that Alec would think less of him for any show of vulnerability.

It’s humbling that Alec is the one Magnus lets down his guard around now. Because it’s one thing to know someone will watch your back, but another thing – a completely different level of trust – to properly relax around them.

And Magnus is completely relaxed. Alec can feel the familiar presence of Magnus’ magic flowing just below his skin, reaching out as it always does when they touch. But it’s mellow. Sleeping, for lack of a better word. For someone like Magnus, who’s always on high alert and whose magic rests even less than he does, that’s almost a miracle.

Stirring slightly, Magnus (or at least his magic) seems to register that Alec is still awake, and with a gentle glow from Magnus’ fingertips the lights dim and the fire dies down to a pile of smouldering embers. Only then does it hit Alec how exhausted he is too. The combination of whiskey and the fading adrenaline from the day’s excitement is as potent as any sleeping draught Magnus could have brewed in his apothecary.

Lulled by the rhythmic up and down of Magnus’ breathing and the repetition of his hand still carding through Magnus’ hair, Alec catches himself dozing. The last thought he registers before he drifts off, wrapped up in the blanket and Magnus’ arms, is that they should definitely work out how to arrange another snowstorm next time they want some time to themselves.

#malec #malec fic #magnus bane #alec lightwood #shadowhunters #isabelle lightwood #shtv #malec fanfic #my fic

38 notes · View notes

timelock97 · 5 years ago

Text

Time Never Stops

Chapter One: Always Interrupting

Word Count: 1763

Prologue

Warnings: Language, fluff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Present Day]

I enter my newly furnished recording studio with a water bottle in one hand and a plate with a sandwich on it in the other. I set the plate down and reach under my desk to start my computer for today's events. While I wait, I spin around in my swivel chair and look at the room. The black and green padding on the walls were set in a diagonal pattern, and a white board with this weeks schedule placed in between some of the padding. Two bookshelves sit nestled against the back wall on either side of the door; the shelves are covered in merch, fan gifts, and several pictures of friends and me. Most of the pictures had been of Tom and I throughout the years, my favorite of the bunch sitting beside my monitor on my desk. His arm is around my waist while he stands behind me, donning a pair of black swim trunks, smiling into the side of my face as I laugh in a black and white checkered bikini. We are standing in the ocean, vacationing in Hilton Head, South Carolina, when we were seventeen.

Tom Holland, my best friend for as long as I can remember, and long time crush. Gotta love that the one person that knows you the best, happens to be the one that you fall for so easily. I didn't know if it was his sunshine smile, the infectious laugh, or the fact that he knows me better than I know myself; but, he is the one person I wish nothing more to have at my side for the rest of my life. However, it isn't that simple. With him being busy with his acting career and me being busy with YouTube, we hadn't had much time to spend together, not that it would have changed anything. Tom is my best friend, and that was that. I just have to be happy that he is still in my life after all these years, and hadn't lost contact while we went from immature teens to slightly more mature adults.

I smiled when my computer finally loads. I log on and set up my software before I clap my hands together, testing the frequency of the mic. I set up the game, placing my headphones over my beanie covered hair, and check to make sure that everything is running smoothly before I click record on the second monitor. I smile at the camera and begin my intro, "What's up, guys? You're on with Timelock! And today, as you can already tell, we are playing Detroit: Become Human. I have been beyond excited to play this game for the past three weeks, but of course since I was away in the UK visiting with Dan and Phil doing some fun videos and joining Sean, aka Jacksepticeye, and Mark, aka Markiplier, for a charity livestream kept me from starting the game. Which reminds me, I cannot believe how well we did on the livestream and I wanted to thank everyone who watched and participated with us across all platforms. You guys are amazing. Now going back to the game, Sean said that it is worth the wait, so without anymore interruptions, I hope, let's get started!"

"Holy shit, so that's what happened to Kara." I breathe as I move the character from Alice's room down to the first floor. I glance up at the next activity for the character, "See Todd for further instructions." I let out a gasp as I watch the scene unfold in front of me, watching as Todd yells at his daughter and frighten her. "Shit, I thought that was going to end badly, I mean, it could have. This game is already super interesting, now I know why everyone has been talking this game up! But, guys, the clock is ticking! Thank you so much for watching, and if you enjoyed the video, don't forget to give that like button a little bit of love. And I will see you, in the next one! Time-" I jump as my phone begins to blare the old Spider-Man theme song from inside my desk. I glance at the drawer and pull it out to see a picture of Tom sticking his middle finger up his nose, his name place directly over his face. I roll my eyes and look back at the camera. "I said there would be no interruptions, I stand corrected." I answer the phone, "Hold up thirty seconds, I'm saying my outro."

Tom's laugh echoes through the receiver, "Okay, okay."

"Let's try this again. Time resume." I point at the screen for a few seconds before I end the recording and place my phone back against my ear. "You really have impeccable timing. What is this, the sixth time in the past two weeks?"

"Sorry, love, figured you would be done by now." He chuckled, "And I miss you."

"I miss you too, Thomas." I smile, grabbing my camera so I can begin uploading the recording to my editing software. "How's filming?"

"Good, good," he pauses, shifting in the background. "We actually finished yesterday and are going to be heading out to start promoting the movie, then I am off to start filming for the newest Avengers movie."

"Ooh," I enthuse, plugging in my camera and shifting to save and close out of the game, "That sounds amazing, Tom." I sigh, happy to hear that he was doing well after long months of filming, advertising, repeating. "But it also sounds exhausting."

"Honestly, it is," he sighs. "How was London and Brighton? My mum said you visited and Harrison was sending me snapchats of you at the flat."

"It was really nice. Actually, Harrison decided, even though I discussed it with him a month previous, that he did not want to let me stay. However, Tessa pushed past him into the hallway when she heard me." I pause my rant as I hear Tom laugh at the statement, "It was an entertaining two weeks in London, and I spend two days with your mum, dad, and brothers. It was nice spending time with them and not having to worry about working." I say, watching the video finally load up into the editing software. "And Brighton was amazing. When you're home, and I can find time to fly out, we have to go and spend a week out there. Its beautiful."

"Sounds like a plan, bug." He sighs.

"I do have to edit, do you wanna Skype so we can continue the conversation?"

"Yeah, I'd love that," he whispered. I quickly pulled up my Skype, after a few minutes, his face popped up into my screen.

"Hey! Its my favorite boy!" I yell, throwing my hands over my head. I watched as Tom's smile fades as he looks behind me with knitted eyebrows. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"That's not your normal studio, is it?" He asked, sounding concerned.

"Oh, I thought I told you the good news?" I said rolling backwards so that I was in the middle of my recording studio, "I got the apartment!" I looked at him in excitement, but I noticed he wasn't smiling. "What's wrong? I thought you would be happy."

"I- I am, I just," he runs his hand through his hair, "God, I've missed so much by being gone all the time."

"Tom..." I murmur, "Hey, it's okay. What you're doing is just as important-"

"But, it's your first flat," he whispers, "I was going to come and help you unpack, make sure that your first night wasn't spent alone," he pouts at me, but I can see the small smile on his lips at the promise he made me years ago.

"I didn't spend it alone! I made a girls night out of it! I had Izzy, Haley, and Mia spend the night with me and it was a lot of fun. I know you wanted it to be you, but when you get done with everything I can show you the place." Tom sighs and places his head on his fist. "I know what'll make you feel better, how about I promise next time you are here we marathon all the Marvel movies."

"All the movies?" he teases, his frown disappearing. I nod and he smiles back, "That sounds awesome." He laughs.

I roll back up to my desk to start editing while Tom tells me about some of the more entertaining things that have happened the last few weeks. Another Skype message pops up from JacKyleGameplays, interrupting his rambling. Hey, TL. We and the girls are going to play some prop hunt, wanna join? ~Jac

"What was that?" Tom asks, tilting his head to the side.

"GameSquad wants to play prophunt," I state, getting ready to tell them that I had some things to finish and wouldn't be able to get on today.

"I'll let you go then-"

"No, it's okay, I can stay on." I tell him, looking back at the camera, "We always get interrupted, I can play prophunt any other time. I almost never see you anymore."

"You sure? I don't mind, I can just call later." Even though he says it's fine, I can see in his eyes he really doesn't want me to hang up.

"Nope, I want to talk to you, I can always talk to the GameSquad." I finish sending the message and mute the rest of my chats, "There, no interruptions this time."

"Is it because I am Mr. Always Interrupting?"

"Damn straight," I say giggling, "Now, who out of all the people you have played as is your favorite character? And you can't pick Spider-Man."

"But, I am Spider-Man!"

"No, you are Thomas Stanley Holland!" I shout playfully, making him laugh, "My best friend since two years old, my tiny-toddling husband, knight in shining armor, and the one person that knows me better than I know myself."

He immediately begins to laugh harder, "My Mum sent me that video of us "getting married" last week."

"I asked if she would since we found it. I was hoping it would make you smile."

"It did, my little lovely wife." He sighs, "and my favorite character? Definitely your best friend, because that's the one I get to play for the rest of my life."

A blush creeps up my neck as I look away from the screen, "That's cheesy, and you're only saying it because I said it first!"

"But being your best friend is my favorite thing, you know me more than I know myself."

"I should, I've known you my whole life" I whisper.

"And I wouldn't have it any other way," he says with a dopey smile. "Now, what were you recording before I so rudely interrupted?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Comment and reblog! What did you think? Let me know if you want to be tagged. IDK what else I’m supposed to put at the bottom. I’m going to try and post chapters Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday (since I already finished writing it).

@revenantwriting

Chapter Two

#cg writes #tomhollandxyoutuber!reader #bestfriend!tom holland #best friends to lovers #bestfriendstoloversau #dad!tom holland #time never stops

65 notes · View notes

labelleizzy · 5 years ago

Text

20 questions tag

Rules: answer 20 questions and tag 20 people you want to know better. I was tagged by @wrathofthestag *waves*

1. Nickname: Liz, Lizzy if we've been friends for decades, and some family. Then going back in time there's Little Bits and Lizard lips from childhood, Tris from my first boyfriend, Yank from my favorite ex boyfriend's dad. Libby, Liberty, and Liberator and other equally silly plays on my name from my first husband. Izzy occasionally from friends I met first as LaBelleIzzy, which came from MaBelleIzzy by Xtyn and Charles DeLint. Miss Lizness from Amy. Words at Black Rock City. Those are the most memorable ones I've had.

2. Zodiac Sign: Scorpio cusp of Sagittarius

3. Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw… I'm brave but I had to work for it. I come by clever naturally

4. Height: 5′ 4″ (I think)

5. Last thing I googled: Atonement, the 2007 film with James McEvoy and Keira Knightley. It was mentioned in one of my comfort rereads I'm currently in the middle of (The Least Of All Possible Mistakes) and I've never seen it but it was used as a character note so I watched the trailer.

6. Favorite musicians: Ugh, too many, and music isn't even my primary distraction media. Folks who own multiple albums by include Florence and the Machine, Great Big Sea, Rush, Pink, Daft Punk, Helen Jane Long, Moxy Fruvous, Loreena McKennit, Roxette, Bonnie Raitt, Brian Setzer Orchestra… so many.

7. Song stuck in my head: varies by the day. Last month or two I've been waking up with a different song in my head every day, it's enjoyable, but I'm puzzled.

8. Followers: 523

9. Following: 1092

10. Do you get asks: Very infrequently. Usually, Only if I put out a prompt. (I don’t mind getting asks.)

11. Amount of sleep: I'm blessed and lucky to be able to work from home, and sleep late if I need to. When I taught high school I got around 6/night and I don't know how I survived (hint, I burned out hard, so.) Now my body really likes between 8&9. That's the difference between 40 and 50, I guess.

12. Lucky number: 13 and 1066.

13. What are you wearing: a cute little sleeveless stretchy dress in black and cobalt from this weekend clothing swap!

14. Dream job: I kinda have it. I write a lot, teach a little, without grades! Art, cooking, community service, some priesting. Taking care of my house, cat(s), and Spouse, and friends. Activism. If I'd change anything and I may still, it would be to do a lot more activism in company with others.

15. Instruments: Voice, mainly. I used to sing in a choir and was insecure about it, but I read music a bit from that and from playing violin as a child and recorder while I was teaching.

16. Languages: English, a tiny bit of Spanish, and a handful of fun phrases from a dozen other languages. I can say "bless you!" In Welsh, German, French, Spanish when someone sneezes. I'd like to learn that in Russian and Japanese!

17. Favourite song: it goes by mood and genre. When I'm angry I want something punk. When I can't get motivated to work I put on upbeat pop dance music. But I'll always start waltzing with Enya's Caribbean Blue, Metallica's Nothing Else Matters, or Seal's Kiss From A Rose. It's programmed into my feet the way Mustang Sally starts me to cha-cha.

18. Random fact: I've never smoked, not once in my life.

19. Aesthetic: ooh good one! Cute Comfortable Genderqueer Hobbit.

20. Dream trip: for a northern pass, Reykjavik, Copenhagen, Stockholm and Moscow. for an equatorial pass? Nassau, the Bahamas. Got a couple of college friends who live there.

Invited to play or pass: @dizzy-redhead @stultiloquentia , @codenamefinlandia , @valiantfoxdinosaur , @leatherjacketmixtapes , @uhisthisthingreal ,

@bitty-smol , @lizards-online , (@goodnightmoonvale ,) @1realme1 @optimistinchief , @frenchtoastpanda

(@herecomedatbitty) @lauramkaye

Or, if you see this and just wanna do it? Consider yourself TAGGED (& LMK plz)

#get to know the author #get to know the blogger #get to know me

3 notes · View notes

jobrookekarev · 4 years ago

Text

I Remember it All Too Well Chapter 6

Chapter Six of Six: You'd Come Back to Me

Words: 19,500

Chapter Summary: After hooking up at the wedding, Jo realizes she's pregnant. Jo decides to take a leap of faith and the two of them agree to meet each other's kids, now Jo and Alex with their three, soon to be four kids, try and make it work as a family.

Story Summary: Alex knew from the moment he signed the divorce papers that leaving Jo and Seattle was the worst mistake of his life. As Alex works his way back to Seattle, he sees Jo again four times before she allows him back into her life. Or the four times Alex saw Jo after their divorce, and the one time they finally got back together with her, plus a soft epilogue.

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Relationship: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson.

Characters: Jo Wilson, Alex Karev, Eli Stevens, Alexis Stevens, Meredith Grey and Atticus Lincoln.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences.

Additional Tags: Regret, Longing, Pining, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pregnancy, Birth, and a Baby.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

AN: Okay so this is probably a lot longer than it should have been and includes a lot of scenes that aren't really necessary, but I'm going to keep them in there because they're light-hearted and fun and I enjoyed writing them so I hope you enjoy reading them!

……………………………………………………………………

Jo hoisted Asher higher on her hip as she and Meredith walked into the hospital. She wanted to enjoy holding him for as long as possible as she would soon have to balance two babies. She was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that she would have two kids. Things seemed to be going so fast, despite how she had nine months before the new baby would be in her arms.

When she became a foster mom, it took months of planning, home studies, and training, but the day she said yes to Asher she had him in her arms by the end of the day. She went from zero to one kid in a day and she hoped that the nine months would give her more time to get used to going from one to two kids, that wasn't the only thing she was worried about.

“So,” Meredith said, trailing off as she tested the waters and looked over at her.

Jo let out a sigh and just looked straight ahead. She knew she couldn't avoid Meredith forever, but she would for now. As they walked over to the daycare, the only one who seemed oblivious to the tension between them was Asher. He happily babbled as he chewed on the ear of the Mariners moose that Link had given him.

“Look I know that it’s none of my business,” Meredith said with a shrug.

“You're right. It’s none of your business,” Jo said cutting her off.

“But you told me for a reason.”

“Yeah, because I'm still kind of freaking out about it,” Jo said as she paused in the middle of the empty hallway and turned to look over at Meredith. “It’s going to wrack everything. We didn't plan this. It's not like we got back together and decided to have another kid. It just happened and now all our plans to take it slow have gone out the window.”

“I know that this is a shock to you and that you're still trying to process it and I want to help you, but I won’t know how unless you talk to me,” Meredith said reaching out and putting her hands on Jo’s shoulders. “Do I need to do something like yell at Alex for knocking you up or just be there for you at your exam with Carina? I can do either of those or both, I just need you to tell me what to do.”

“I know it takes two, but honestly I think I might yell at Alex myself,” Jo said with a slight smile as she shook her head and moved her hand to Asher's back as he tried to wiggle out of her arms.

“Well, for starters are you keeping it?”

“Yes,” Jo said without hesitating.

It was the one thing she was sure of. She was ready for a second kid even if it was unexpected. She always thought she’d adopt or start fostering again as Asher got older so he could have some siblings. She was ready for a second kid even if this wasn't how she saw it coming into being.

“Okay,” Meredith said, but Jo cut her off.

“It's just that things between Alex and I are good right now and adding another kid to the mix is going to push us to move in together and meet each other's kids, and I don't know if I'm ready for that. I don't know if Alex is ready for that. I love him and I want to be with him, but he hasn't even met Asher yet, and what if Asher hates him, what if the twins hate me,” Jo said as she nearly cried and bit her lip to hold back the tears as she looked away.

“Jo, I know that you're scared, but if you give it a chance, I'm sure that Asher is going to love Alex. There's not a kid in the world that has met Alex Karev and doesn't like him at least a little bit. And the twins are so sweet and they're so much like Alex. You've already got one Karev head over heels in love with you, I'm sure the twins will love you too. I know you'll put in the effort to get to know them and spend time with them and they’ll appreciate that.”

“But you don't know that Meredith,” Jo said with a sigh.

“And you won't know that either until you meet them.” Meredith stressed, rubbing her hand up and down Jo’s arm. “If I've learned anything in the past year it's that Alex Karev truly loves you, and he is going to love Asher too.”

“It's not just that, I mean it is but,” Jo sighed as she shook her head. She pulled Asher closer as she closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his, it helped calm her before she spoke again. “I know that as soon as Alex finds out about the baby, he’s going to jump all in. I know he’s going to be there for us, but I don’t want him to do it just because of the baby. I want him to stay with me because he loves me and he wants to commit himself to me, not just because we have a child. I don't want to string him along like Izzie did or to make him feel like he has to stay with me out of obligation.”

“You, Jo Wilson, are not Izzie Stevens that's for sure,” Meredith giggled and put a hand over her mouth

“I sure hope not,” Jo rolled her eyes as she moved to walk away again before Meredith grabbed her arm.

“No Jo wait, it's not that. It's just that, Alex loves you. Before you two started dating again he came to me in a panic, because he didn't want to screw things up with you again. He wants to be there for you and he's taking things slow because he wants to make sure that you're comfortable. He’s going to be there for you because he loves you. Alex isn’t going to go anywhere, he’s all in, Jo. With you and this baby, and Asher too, just give him the chance.”

“I know. Over the past month I’ve realized that Alex is in this for the long haul, but I knew that Alex would never make the choice to willingly walk away from me again, regardless of this baby, but I still need to know that things will work with Alex and Asher and the twins two,” Jo said, with a nod as she reached out and squeezed Meredith’s hand.

“Okay so meet them,” Meredith said as if it was that easy.

“Fine,” Jo relented as she rolled her eyes, but knew that Meredith was pushing her in the right direction.

Meredith’s only response was a nod and a small smile as they continued their walk to the daycare. Jo was grateful to have Meredith’s support in this. The two of them had become so close since Alex left. She knew that regardless of whether she had Alex, she and her children would be okay because they had Meredith. Meredith had helped her so much when she adopted Asher and throughout the process of her divorce with Alex. She had always been there for Jo with whatever she needed and she knew that wouldn’t stop now.

Jo had always wondered what it would have been like to have a big sister and now that she had Meredith she didn't have to wonder. It was one of the reasons why she told Meredith she was pregnant and not anyone else. Link would just be overprotective and would definitely go after Alex. Whereas Levi would have no idea what to do or say and both boys would hover over her. However, Meredith had ushered her in the right direction and would be there for her regardless and that was what Jo needed right now.

“But you are going to tell Alex about the baby?” Meredith asked looking over at Jo apprehensively.

“Of course I'm going to tell Alex, I'm not going to keep him from his child. I just need a few more days to process everything,” Jo said, she knew she could never keep her baby from Alex. He was such a good dad and he was everything she wanted for her child.

“I just had to ask,” Meredith said, putting up her hands before she looked over at Jo with a slight smile. “Also partly because I was wondering if I could be in on the surprise, There's a lot of cute ways to do it too.”

“Meredith.”

“I know, I know, you're so overwhelmed and you need to process the fact that you're pregnant before you can even think of telling Alex. I'm just saying there are some really cute ideas out there. I gave Derek a t-shirt that said world's best big sister. I mean I stole the idea from April, but it was pretty cute.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Jo shook her head as she walked towards the daycare. She quickly got Asher checked in and said her usual goodbye to him before she and Meredith went up to the lounge and got changed into their scrubs.

“Hey Jo,” Meredith said, grabbing Jo’s arm before she left. “Whatever you need, let me know and I’ll help you.”

“Thank you Mere,” Jo said, giving her a smile. “My appointment to confirm the pregnancy with Carina is at 10 a.m. and I’d really appreciate it if you could be there.”

“10 a.m. I'll be there,” Meredith said, giving her a smile before she left.

……………………………………………………………………

Alex felt like he was home. Ever since he returned to Seattle a few months ago he felt like he was still on the outside. Everyone at the hospital seemed to take their cue from Jo on how to act around him, but now that they were together again everyone seemed to warm back up to him. He was finally settling back in and was getting to know the new residents and other staff while working with Hayes. These days Alex felt like he and his kids were part of the family again.

Things with him and Jo were good too. They were dating and seeing each other regularly, although they hadn't introduced their kids yet. Things between them felt like they did before their divorce. Alex would catch Jo smiling at him across the hallways of the hospital. He would wrap his arms around her waist and kiss her as if he'd never left her side. Things were good, regardless, they were still taking things slow. Alex knew that Jo was still hesitant, but they were good and he was happy.

“You complete and utter asshole, Alex Karev,” Meredith said appearing out of nowhere and slapping his arm as she glared at him.

“What'd I do?” Alex asked quickly, running through a mental list of things he had done in the past few hours since they talked last night.

“I thought you and Jo were taking it slow,” Meredith asked, raising her eyebrow at him.

“We are.”

“But you're sleeping together?”

“We've only done it a couple of times and it's none of your business,” Alex insisted, despite how Meredith scoffed and shook her head.

Her mouth scrunched up like she wanted to continue to yell at him, but she paused as a few of the nurses passed by them in the halls. Alex crossed his arms as he took in Meredith's expression. She knew they were dating and he didn't understand why the fact that they were sleeping together caused so much trouble.

“It's my business if you end up hurting her again Alex,” Meredith lowered her voice to a whisper, despite her anger.

“I'm not going to hurt her again,” Alex insisted as he looked at Meredith. “I swear to God Mere, I'm never going to do anything to intentionally hurt Jo again. I screwed up with her once and I'm never gonna do it again.”

“I know,” Meredith sighed, as her eyes softened and her anger faded away. “It's just, things happen and you don't expect them. I just….”

Alex watched Meredith avoid his gaze after she tailed off. “Just what?”

“Just, just go check on Jo, she’s got the flu or something. I was just with her and Carina and she was continually throwing up, but she refuses to go home. Can you get her to at least take a nap in an on-call room or something,” Meredith said before she quickly walked away.

Alex scrunched up his eyebrows and his lips turned down as he watched her go. He couldn’t figure out why Meredith was being so weird today. Given the conversation they just had he decided to do as he was told and go see Jo. Alex quickly finished up with his patients, before he walked down the hall to the maternity ward.

The sight that greeted him was all too familiar as Jo and Carina talked at the nurse’s station. Carina stood above her with her arms crossed as she looked down at Jo who was sitting in a chair with her head resting on her arm.

“Hey,” Alex said, stopping at the counter as Jo greeted him with a sleepy smile that quickly disappeared as she rubbed her head.

“Buongiorno Dr. Karev,” Carina said, before she continued in Italian, gesturing to him and carrying on as if he understood a word she said. Alex looked between Carina and Jo for a second before Jo caught on and smiled.

“I think we forgot to switch back to English,” Jo said as she reached out to him.

“Yeah, and since when do you speak Italian?” Alex asked as he sat down in the chair next to her before putting an arm around her shoulders. He didn’t think twice about leaning over to kiss her forehead, as whatever she was sick with he probably already had.

“Carina would just say stuff to me in Italian when I was first working with her and so I started looking it up. Eventually I just actively tried to learn the language and so now I speak Italian.”

“It was very impressive how quickly she picked it up,” Carina said with a nod and a little smile that told of how proud she was of Jo. “Everything I throw at her she just seems to suck up like SpongeBob.”

“Like a sponge, SpongeBob is a kid’s cartoon character.”

“Ah yes, and Josephine is helping me with the English slang.”

“Dr. Wilson, your patient is here in exam room two,” one of the nurses said as they handed Jo the chart.

Jo let out a sigh as her smile faded. She looked over the charts and Alex could tell how tired she was. He looked up at Carina and could tell she was thinking the same thing.

“Are you doing okay?” Alex asked, rubbing her shoulders and pulling her closer.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Jo said, despite how she leaned against him and closed her eyes.

“She has been lethargic and nauseous all morning, perhaps you can convince her to let me send her home. I can take care of your appointments today and I will call you in if any of your patients go into labor,” Carina said as she tilted her head with a look of concern.

“I told you I'm fine and I need to learn how to work through this anyway,” Jo insisted glaring at both of them despite how Alex had only asked.

Alex watched Jo for a moment. She had one hand on her forehead and the other on her abdomen as she rubbed her belly like she always did when she felt nauseous. She looked tired and weary and Alex could see why everyone was so concerned.

Suddenly she got that look on her face. It was the one she always got when she was about to vomit. Alex had long since memorized that face and developed the instinct to grab the nearest bowl. He looked around frantically before he spotted a bin on one of the nurse’s carts and ran over to grab it before he shoved it under Jo’s chin just as she leaned forward and threw up.

“Okay, that's it. I am sending you home,” Carina said, gesturing to the sight of Jo before her.

“Carina's right, Jo. You're clearly not feeling good, you should go home,” Alex said as he put the bowl down and rubbed Jo’s back.

“No, I'm not going home just because I puked, it's just something I ate,” Jo said as she continued to protest, although Alex didn't know why she was putting up such a fight this time around.

Usually, whenever she got sick in the past, she would always come over to him and wrap her arms around his waist and tuck her head under his chin. Even if it was just her nervous stomach, they would at least go to an on-call room and rest for a few minutes together. Jo knew her body and usually, she didn't push herself so hard.

“I am not sending you home just because of your morning… your vomit,” Carina said she struggled to use the correct terminology. “I am sending you home because you've been like this all morning. You have barely been able to take care of yourself let alone your patients.”

“But I have a C-section scheduled for this afternoon. My patient has already checked in, you know how nervous she is and for the past eight months I’ve worked to gain her trust. she doesn’t trust any other doctor, you know this,” Jo said despite how she sighed with a look of defeat as she leaned against Alex.

“Why don't you and I go find an on-call room and you can take a nap,” Alex suggested as he continued to rub his hand up and down her back. “If you're not feeling better after that then, I'll take you home.”

“I hate this, I hate feeling like I can't do anything,” Jo said as she put a hand over her face and tears collected in her eyes.

“I know my bambino,” Carina said kneeling down and putting her hand on Jo’s knee. Alex remembered how Jo had told him about the affectionate nickname Carina had started using for her when she took Jo under her wing for her OB/GYN training. “Your sickness is at its peak around this time, but it will get better soon.”

Jo nodded and turned her head to sob into his shoulder as he held her. Alex wasn't sure if it was the English barrier or what but something in the way Carina had said it, Alex got the feeling that there was something else going on. Although Jo was clearly not in any state to tell him what was going on.

“Come on,” Alex said, as he helped Jo get up from her seat and slowly walked over to the on-call room.

Jo’s sobs fizzled out as she let herself be led away and Alex wrapped his arms around her waist as they walked down the hall. He found the nearest on-call room and opened the door to see that it was empty. Alex led Jo over to one of the beds and pulled back the blankets before she sat down. He kneeled down to take off her shoes and pulled the blankets back over her when she laid down.

“Will you stay for a little while?” Jo asked her hand lingering on his scrub top as her fingers dug into the fabric.

“Of course,” Alex said, getting in next to her and wrapping one arm around her shoulders as she laid her head on his chest.

Jo quickly fell asleep and Alex continued to trace his fingers up and down her back. He tried to think about what was going on with her, but his mind drew a blank as his only conclusion was the flu. He would have stayed with her until she woke up, but he got paged and had to go. Before he left, Alex wrote a quick note saying he'd meet her for lunch.

As he leaned down to kiss her forehead, he brushed away the little hairs that stuck to her skin and noticed how sticky with sweat her skin was. She wasn’t running a fever, but she was warm, so he thought it was just because she was sick. Alex brushed the hairs away before he kissed her forehead and readjusted the blankets around her.

After he answered his page he went and found Meredith finishing up with a patient in a trauma room. “Hey is something going on with Jo, I know she’s not feeling well but this seems different?”

Meredith had her back turned to him and she paused for a moment before she shrugged and stripped off her gloves. “I don't know, you’d have to ask her?”

Alex put his hands on his hips and just glared at her. Everybody was being so weird about what was going on with Jo and he couldn't figure out why. He knew she was sick, but...

Then it struck him. The vomiting, the fatigue, the sweaty skin, and the crying. The way Meredith yelled at him in the hallway and the way Carina gently talked to Jo.

“Oh my God,” Alex said as he put a hand over his mouth. “Is Jo pregnant?”

Meredith gave him a slight smile that told him that it was true. Alex reached back to the empty stool and sat down as he processed the information. A million things were running through his head, excitement, joy, fear, terror. It was all happening so quickly and they were trying to take things slow. They haven’t even met each other’s kids yet and now they were throwing a whole new baby into the mix. Sure they had nine months to get ready, but nine months wasn’t very long in the grand scheme of things.

Alex didn’t even know how Jo felt about it. Things were going back to the way they used to be before their divorce, but he knew how Jo was still hesitant to trust him again. He had no idea how to even broach the subject with her and no idea what he would say. Alex wanted to let her know that he was all in and that he would do whatever she needed him to. He wanted her to know that she and their baby would have him for the rest of his life, but he didn't know how to put it into actions that would prove to her that he was there to stay.

“What do I do Mere, what do I do,” Alex asked if he shook his head and looked over at her.

Meredith gave him a sympathetic smile as she came over and put her hands on his shoulders, giving them a slight squeeze. “Right now, I'd say that you just be there for her. Continue to take things slow like you already are, but other than that, I really don't know. What I do know is that Jo is ready to trust you again, but she’s still trying to process the fact that she’s pregnant, just like you are. Just give her a little time and I know that this is all going to work out.”

“Thank you,” Alex said, as he let out a deep breath. He knew Meredith was right and he'd make sure that he was there for Jo with whatever she needed.

……………………………………………………………………

A few days later, Jo stared at the packed lunch she had made as she sat in the lounge with Meredith, Link, Amelia, and Maggie. She had packed leftover chicken and rice from the night before, along with some broccoli and carrots, but staring at it now it looked entirely unappetizing. Jo considered venturing down to the cafeteria, but she didn't want to do that either as it was filled with too many smells that turned her stomach. So while everyone talked and ate their lunch, Jo just stared at her container of rice and chicken. Until someone placed a bowl of instant mac and cheese in front of her.

“Here,” Alex said, pushing it towards her. “I know you’re still sick, so I figured that was the only thing you would want to eat.”

Jo could feel the tears well up in her eyes as she looked down at the mac and cheese. He was right, it was the only thing that she wanted to eat. Whenever she got sick the only thing she wanted to eat was mac and cheese and Alex would go out of his way to make it for her. It was the little things like this that made her forget that they had ever been apart. They were still so in-sync and the thoughtfulness of the gesture brought tears to her eyes, which she blamed on her hormones.

“You okay,” Alex asked, his eyes full of concern as Jo looked up as he sat next to her.

“I love that you made me mac and cheese,” Jo said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder.

“I know,” Alex said, he whispered in her ear as he scooted closer and put his arm around her.

Jo pulled back after a moment but continued to lean against him. Alex had his own tray of food from the cafeteria and kept his arm around her waist as they ate. Link got up from his place next to Amelia and moved over to sit next to them, glaring at Alex before Jo kicked him under the table. Jo loved that Link looked out for her, but she had forgiven Alex. Although she knew that Link was still worried, it was getting to be a little much.

“Jo are you sure you're doing okay? I heard you threw up again this morning. You’re not still sick are you?” Link asked as he raised an eyebrow at her.

“Yeah, I'm fine,” Jo said, taking a deep breath as she continued to eat her mac and cheese.

She wasn't surprised that she had become part of the hospital gossip, no one did anything in this hospital without the nurses knowing about it and they usually spread it around like wildfire.

“Are you sure?” Link asked, looking over at her again and raising an eyebrow.

“If she says she's fine, then she's fine, leave her be,” Meredith insisted, giving Link a look.

“Okay, fine,” Link said, putting his hands up and backing off, but stayed seated next to her.

Jo smiled as she looked over at Alex. He returned her smile with one of his own and moved his hand to rub up and down her back. His eyes crinkled as he smiled and she could pick out the gray hairs in his stubble. She had always liked him with a little bit of facial hair, just enough to tickle her cheeks when he kissed her.

Jo subconsciously put her hand on her stomach where their baby was growing inside her.

“You're in love with him again aren't you,” Link said he leaned over to whisper to her.

Jo turned her head to look at Link again before looking back at Alex. She didn't need to tell him her answer, he already knew it was true. Jo was in love with Alex Karev.

Lunch ended and Alex walked her back to work like he used to do when they were married and he had taken up the habit again now that they were back together. Jo twisted her fingers and looked down at her empty hands. She used to twist her wedding band around and she missed the feeling of the rings on her fingers. They stopped just outside the doors to the L&D floor and Alex was about to go in, but Jo reached out and grabbed his hand.

Jo turned to look at him and her lips were parted as the question was on the tip of her tongue. She had wanted to come right out and say it, but the words died on her tongue, the second she thought them. Jo wanted them all to be a family, so he decided that was what he would offer.

“I want you to meet Asher,” Jo said, suddenly blurting it out. Jo looked over at him with her lips slightly parted as she just stared at him before she continued. “I'm ready for you to meet him. It's not just us anymore, we have kids and if we're not in it together with our kids then you and I can never work and I want us to work Alex. I love you so much and I want you to be a part of my son's life. And I'm not asking you to be Asher's father, I just want you to be a part of both of our lives, mine and my son’s. I understand if you're not ready for me to meet the twins, but I want you to meet my son.”

“Of course I want to meet Asher,” Alex said as a smile spread across his face and she could see the excitement light up in his eyes. “Truth be told I've been thinking about introducing you to Eli and Alexis as well. A few nights ago Alexis was telling me about how her teacher is getting married and she wanted to know why I wasn't married. The conversation turned to why I didn't have a girlfriend and I didn't want to lie to them, so I told them about you. I kind of turned our story into a fairy tale about how we met and fell in love and how we found our way back to each other. I know they would love to meet the princess of my stories.”

Jo couldn't help but smile and blush at the thought of being the princess in Alex's fairy tale stories, especially as he used the nickname he had for her.

“Maybe, we can have a playdate or something and let them meet each other too. I want them to get to know each other. I mean, I'm not sure how two seven-year-olds and a fourteen-month-old are going to get along, but we can try,” Jo said, as she shared Alex’s smile and excitement.

“Why don't you and Asher come over to my place. I have the twins with me this weekend, so maybe Saturday around noon,” Alex said, with a shrug, trying to seem nonchalant, despite his wide smile.

He seemed so delighted at the thought of meeting Asher and Jo was happy to meet the twins as well. She dared to dream that they could all be a family and she loved the idea of Asher having siblings apart from the new baby.

“That sounds great, but how well is your place baby proofed?” Jo asked as she bit her lip.

……………………………………………………………………

Alex rattled the baby gate only for it to shift out of place again as he let out a sigh. When he got the baby gate out of the box he didn't think it could be this complicated. In all his time working with kids he had never set up a baby gate. Things were mostly baby proved around the hospital and he never needed to baby proof things with the twins. He missed the baby stage with them. Now he was getting a chance to be a part of his kid's life from the very beginning and he was determined to do it right. He hoped that by showing Jo that he was all in with her and with her son that she would be willing to open up and tell him that she was pregnant.

Alex finally got the baby gate in place and looked around the downstairs of his house. He had put baby proof knob covers on all of the doors and locks on all the kitchen cabinets, as well as outlet covers, and corner covers on the sharp furniture. He had also put away anything that he thought Asher could potentially get into trouble with. According to Jo, Asher had recently started running instead of walking and was getting into anything and everything his little feet could carry him to. Alex couldn't help but smile at the thought of Jo chasing after the little boy.

When he moved back to Seattle he had searched for the perfect home and eventually settled on a house in Queen Anne. It was only a few blocks away from Meredith’s place. It had four bedrooms, with a study downstairs that he figured he could turn into a bedroom for one of the twins when they were older. Alex wasn't sure why he bought such a big house when he first saw it. He couldn’t explain it, but something told him that he would need the extra space. Now he knew that the extra bedroom would be for Asher and the baby's nursery. That is if Jo wanted to move in with him. Alex wanted to ask Jo to move in with him as soon as possible, but he didn't want to push her or the kids to be together before they were ready.

Alex looked up at the clock, it was almost noon and Jo would be here soon. Unfortunately, Izzie was running late and hadn't dropped off the kids yet. Alex wasn't ready for Jo and Izzie to meet and he had no idea what he would do if they showed up at the same time. There was a knock on the door and Alex looked up. Alex was worried about whether it would be Jo or Izzie or both as he went over to open the door.

“Hey,” Alex said when he swung open the door to see that it was just Izzie and the twins and he crouched down to open his arms to Alexis and Eli as they ran to him. “I missed you too.”

“We missed you too Daddy,” Alexis said as Alex leaned down to kiss her forehead before kissing Eli’s forehead as well.

Even though it was just a week-long separation and they had been doing it for a while, Alex would never get used to the feeling of being away from his kids. He missed them so much when they were gone. Alex hated that he was only a part of their life half the time, but his decision to separate from Izzie was for the best.

“Alright, you two go put your stuff away and get cleaned up,” Alex said, standing up again. “We have that play date remember and they're going to be here really soon.”

“Okay,” Alexis said, as both of them ran off and Alex waited until they were out of earshot to address Izzie.

“You're late,” Alex said as he glared at her.

“I know, I'm sorry, it's just traffic on the way back up was crazy and you know how it is,” Izzie said as she tried to brush him off.

“I told you how important this was Izzie and I told you not to be late,” Alex said as he tried to keep from yelling. He didn't want to fight with her in front of the kids.

“I'm sorry Alex,” Izzie said, getting defensive and crossing her arms. “But traffic really was crazy and we tried to leave on time, but you know how it is trying to get them out the door.”

“Whatever, just say goodbye to the kids and then leave,” Alex said as he glanced back to the empty living room and heard the kids rummaging around upstairs.

“Why? I think I have every right to meet the person who's going to be around my kids half the time,” Izzie insisted as she glared back at him.

“We've been over this,” Alex said, trying not to let his anger get the best of them as he suddenly realized why Izzie was late. “I told you about Jo as a courtesy, but you don't get to dictate what I do and who the kids meet when they're on my time. Jo is a part of my life and I want her to get to know the twins before she meets you. If you want to meet Jo, I'll give her your number and you two can work it out, just not today.”

“I want to meet her today, Alex,” Izzie said, cutting him off.

“That's not going to happen, Izzie,” Alex said, raising his voice.

“Daddy, Alexis won't let me have the blue cup,” Eli said, running over to them and tugging on Alex's shirt to get his attention.

Alex froze and he could see Izzie’s eyes go wide as they realized Eli had probably heard the whole thing. The last thing either of them wanted was for the twins to hear them fighting. They had both grown up around that and it was the last thing they wanted for their kids.

Alex put on a smile and tried to let his anger go before he turned around to talk to his son. “Do you know what Bud? I was at the store yesterday and I picked up an extra blue cup and it should be in the dishwasher. We can go get it after you say goodbye to your Mom, okay. Alexis come say goodbye to your Mom.”

“Okay, bye Mommy I'll miss you,” Eli said running forward and wrapping his arms around Izzie's waist as he hugged her.

“I’ll miss you too buddy,” Izzie said, leading down to hug Eli and planting a kiss on his head.

Alexis came running and almost bowled into Izzie as she wrapped her arms around her waist as well. “Can't you stay longer, Mommy? You said you would?”

“Yeah, I thought you said you were staying for lunch?” Eli piped up as well.

“I said that I might stay for lunch if your Daddy said it was okay, but I don't think it is,” Izzie said, as she looked at Alex as he rubbed his forehead.

“Daddy, can't Mommy stay?” Alexis asked as both of them turned to look at him with identical puppy-dog eyes.

Alex sighed again as he crouched down to talk to them. He hated that Izzie made him the bad guy in these situations. She would make promises to them for things she couldn't keep and then make him be the one to say no.

“I would love for Mommy to stay for lunch,” Alex said as he took one of each of the twin’s hands. “But you guys know that we have the playdate and it's very important to Daddy that you guys meet Jo and Asher because guess what?”

“What?” They both asked as their puppy-dog eyes turned into intrigued looks.

“Do you remember the stories I told you about my princess who lived in her chariot and grew up to help the queen of general surgery with her mini-liver mice?” Alex said as he smiled and he could see them start to get excited.

“Uh-huh,” Alexis nodded eagerly, she was the number one fan of his princess bedtime stories.

“Well, you know that some of these stories are based on real life and I told you about my girlfriend Jo, and her son Asher, the princess, and the little prince. They're coming to play with you today, I told Jo all about you two and she’s so excited to meet you both!” Alex said, with a smile as he shared their look of excitement.

Ever since he moved to Kansas he had told them bedtime stories. There were about some of his and Jo's adventures at the hospital spun into fairy tales of princesses and knights.

“Jo’s real!” Alexis said, her eyes growing wide. “I thought you made her up so you wouldn't be sad when we were at Mommy’s house.”

“Of course Jo is real. I do hang out with other people when you're not here Alexis,” Alex said, deeply offended that his kids would think so little of him, but Alexis only shrugged.

“But she’s coming to meet us. She wants to play with us?” Eli asked still doubting his father's words.

“Yes she's very real and she’s coming to meet you two, so I need you guys to get ready for the playdate and unfortunately that means Mommy can't stay today. I promise we will have her over for lunch another time though, yeah.”

“Okay,” Alexis still smiling at the thought of meeting Jo.

“Is that okay with you buddy,” Alex said as he looking at his son who was still hesitant.

“Yeah, okay but I’ll miss Mommy,” Eli said, his smile falling a little, between the two of them, Eli was the one with the most separation anxiety.

Alex looked back up at Izzie who didn't seem happy, but had plastered on a smile when both of the twins turned around to hug her goodbye.

“I'm going to miss you guys so much,” Izzie said hugging both of them and kissing their heads again.

“We’ll miss you too mommy,” Alexis said, as they snuggled into her arms.

The twins were getting a little more used to the transition between the two households. Especially since Izzie had decided to move back to Seattle meaning there wasn't a plane ride between them, but it didn't help when Izzie dragged out the goodbyes and acted like it was the worst thing in the world.

Eventually, Izzie stood up and let go of the twins. “Well, I guess I'll go then.”

“Have a good drive back,” Alex said with a forced smile as he waved to her.

Izzie smiled although her eyes glared at him before she turned around. Yet both of them froze as they saw Jo standing in the walkway with Asher on her hip. Alex hadn't even heard her car pull up and Jo just stood there staring at them like a deer in the headlights. Jo looked between Alex and Izzie and the twins before she looked back at Asher as he wiggled in her arms. She adjusted her grip on him before she plastered on a smile and walked up to them. Izzie turned and smirked at Alex before he glared at her.

“Be nice,” Alex whispered to her, hoping that she would at least be polite for the sake of the kids.

“Hey, Alex.” Jo seemed relaxed as she walked up the steps onto the porch. “And you must be Izzie, it's so nice to finally meet you.”

It was a lie and he knew it as Jo had said before that she wasn't wild about the prospect of meeting Izzie. Jo had always been a good liar, he remembered how she lied about her twenty seven fireplaces back when she was an intern. He had fallen for the lie back then, but after years together Alex could tell when Jo was lying. He could tell when her smile faltered for a second and how her eyes didn't share her happiness.

“And you must be Jo. It's nice to finally meet you, I've heard a lot about you from Alex,” Izzie said as she held out her hand to Jo who gave her a friendly shake.

“And who is this handsome little fellow,” Izzie asked, smiling at Asher as he hid his head in Jo's shoulder.

“This is my son Asher,” Jo said, putting a protective hand over his back. “And this must be Alexis and Eli.”

Alex looks down at Alexis and Eli as they watch Jo and Asher. Eli smiled and gave a shy wave as Alexis tugged on Alex’s hand before she looked up at him with big eyes.

“Daddy she is real and she looks like a princess,” Alexis whispered up to him, although it was loud enough for all of them to hear.

“Yeah that's why her nickname used to be princess, but she never really liked it when I called her that,” Alex said as he looked up to see a real smile on Jo’s cheeks as a blush appeared alongside it.

“I don't suppose you told them your nickname, evil spawn, or do I need to call Cristina and have her tell them that story,” Jo teased and suddenly it was as if Izzie wasn't there as Alex smiled at her.

He was so happy that she was there and he couldn't help but stare. His eyes lingered over her before he looked down at her stomach. Her grey shirt and jacket were draped loosely over her middle so he could see anything. Alex had tried to estimate the date of when it could have happened and how far along she was. By his estimates, she was between six or eight weeks and wouldn't be showing, but he couldn’t wait for physical proof of her pregnancy.

“You know Cristina?” Izzie asked, looking between Jo and Alex with one raised eyebrow as her smile fell.

“Yes, we all worked together at the hospital,” Jo said, turning to talk to Izzie. “We kind of keep in touch, but mostly through Meredith as she and Cristina are constantly texting and calling each other.”

“Did you used to work with my Mommy and Daddy at the hospital,” Eli said standing up on his toes as he looked up at Jo.

“I never worked with your Mommy, but I did work with your Daddy a lot, and your guys’ Auntie Mere,” Jo said as she smiled over at Eli before she looked up at Alex. “And as I'm sure you know, your Daddy is an amazing doctor.”

“You know Meredith too, wow I guess you must know everybody,” Izzie sneered with a tight lipped smile.

“Pretty much, but Meredith in particular. She was my teacher when I was a resident,” Jo said, standing taller and even Asher peeked out from her shoulder. “We worked together on the mini livers and on the abdominal wall transplant that won her the Catherine Fox award.”

“Oh that's funny I read the paper Meredith published for the JSA, but I didn't see your name on it,” Izzie said, narrowing her eyes at Jo.

“There were some extenuating circumstances,” Alex said, stepping towards Jo as if his physical presence could protect her from Izzie digging up Jo’s past and the pain Paul had caused. “Meredith could only have her name on the paper and Jo politely stepped aside, but she and Meredith have been working on that project together since the beginning.”

Jo smiled and took a deep breath as she reached out to put a hand on his arm. “Why don't we all go inside.”

“That sounds great,” Alex said, putting his hand on Jo's back as she relaxed into his touch. “Kids say goodbye to Mommy.”

“Bye-bye,” Asher said, waving his hand at Izzie.

The twins said goodbye and Izzie grumbled but bit her tongue and by some miracle left without further issue. Now here he was, with Jo and Asher, in his house with his kids, as they all met each other.

“Alexis, Eli, this is Jo and her little boy, Asher.”

“Hello,” Eli said with a wave.

“Hi,” Alexis said as she continued to stare at Jo in awe.

“Hello,” Jo said with a bright smile as she set Asher on the floor and crouched down to hold on to him as he stood up. “We're very excited to play with you today. Asher, can you say hi?”

“Hi,” Asher said in the cutest voice as he gave a brief wave before he turned around and wrapped his arms around Jo’s neck.

“I think he's still a little tired. He just got up from his nap,” Jo explained as she picked him up again and he buried his head in her shoulder.

“That's okay, Daddy told us all about babies and he said they need a lot of sleep. He also told us about you too, and that he loves you. Do you love our Daddy?” Alexis said with a very serious face as if it was the most important question in the world.

Jo let out a little laugh and looked away as her cheeks turned pink again before she smiled and looked back at Alexis.

“I do love your Daddy very much,” Jo said as she looked up at Alex before glancing back at Alexis.

“Good,” Alexis said with a nod as Alex let out a breath of relief.

“Why don't you guys get out the new train set and show Asher?”

“Yeah,” Alexis said, reaching out to take Jo's hand as she pulled her over to the rug in the living room where Alex had left out the bin of wooden trains. “We've got a whole zoo train set and there’s even one with water in it that's got an octopus.”

Jo briefly smiled at Alex before she let Alexis pull her over to the rug and sat down with Asher in her lap.

“What do you think, Eli?” Alex asked, looking down at Eli who watched Jo and Alexis get out the trains.

“She’s nice and Asher’s cute even if he is a baby,” Eli said as he watched them. Alex had no idea where the observant side of his son came from. Both he and Izzie were rather bold, but Eli was always quietly watching everyone and taking things in.

“Should we go play with them?” Alex prompted as he put a hand on Eli's back.

“Yeah,” Eli said, taking a step forward and going to sit next to Alexis on the rug as she handed him some track pieces.

Before he knew it, the five of them were playing together and they had a web of train tracks that spanned the length of the living room. All three kids quickly warmed up to each other and Alex was relieved at how Alexis and Eli didn't seem bothered by Asher as he would grab things out of place and put them in his mouth. Jo quickly traded them out for a pacifier which kept him from putting stuff in his mouth again, but he still grabbed things like any baby would. The twins quickly learned that they could hand him something else to get back what they wanted. They all built the tracks around where he sat on the rug and made a game of delivering things to him on the trains.

The twins quickly warmed up to Jo as well. Alexis came to sit next to her and Eli followed his sister’s lead as the three of them built a train station out of Lincoln Logs. It warmed Alex’s heart to see Jo and the twins interact. It was everything he ever dreamed of after he first met his kids and there was a part of him that grieved that he could have made this a reality sooner. Yet, he was happy that he was doing this now.

With Jo’s attention on Alexis, Asher took the opportunity to slip away and Alex quickly got up and followed him. Alex watched the baby tottle over to the baby gate he had just set up. It was a good thing that he tested the baby gate earlier as Asher quickly grabbed onto it and gave it a shake.

“Hey buddy,” Alex said, crouching down in front of Asher. “Let's go back to the trains yeah?”

Alex held out his hands to Asher who looked at him for a second, deciding whether he should let Alex pick him up. He held his breath for a moment before Asher turned, letting go of the gate, and reached out his hands to Alex who quickly scooped him up.

Alex tickled Asher as he laughed and he moved to hold Asher out in front of him. He pretended to fly them around the room as the boy shrieked and laughed. It was such a wonderful sound and it reminded him so much of Jo’s laughter. Alex could feel himself falling in love with the baby boy as they took an extra circle around the room. Alex finally plopped down on the carpet with Asher who seemed content to sit with him as he picked up a train.

Alex looked up and caught Jo staring, her smile was so big and happy as she watched them. She scooted to sit next to him and Alex put his arm around her waist as he leaned over and kissed her forehead. He wasn't sure how much PDA he wanted to show in front of the kids, but none of them seemed to care as they kept on playing. Alex looked into Jo's eyes again as she tilted her head to look at him. He stared into her eyes and got lost in her golden gaze. This was everything he could have ever dreamed of, his kids and Asher playing in the living room with the woman he loved, Jo, in his arms.

“Daddy, can we have something to eat?” Alexis said, interrupting them.

“Yeah sure,” Alex said as he tore his eyes away from Jo to glance at Alexis. “What do you want?”

“Do you have goldfish?” Eli asked knowing that Alex did have goldfish.

“Fishy fishy,” Asher said as well as all three kids looked up at him with hungry eyes.

“Alright, I guess it’s goldfish for lunch, but I'm going to make some apple slices and peanut butter sandwiches with it,” Alex said as he got up and put Asher next to Eli.

“Why don't I help you and we can talk,” Jo said, getting up as well and Alex looked back as she followed him into the kitchen.

Alex could feel his heart beating in his chest and he wondered if this was the moment Jo would choose to tell him.

“I got a high chair for Asher,” Alex said, pulling it out at the corner and up to the table.

“You didn't have to go out of your way to buy one, I've got the travel chair in my car,” Jo said, gesturing in the direction of her car parked outside.

“I wanted to. I want to be all the way in with you and Asher, and that means having everything that you need for him when you guys come over. I got diapers and wipes stocked up, and I set up a little changing station and a pack and play set upstairs in the spare bedroom. Although I wasn't sure of his size so I just guessed that it was size three.”

Alex stood behind the high chair and with both of his hands still on it. He knew that it wasn't just for Asher, but that they could use everything for the new baby as well. However, he kept himself from saying that part. He just wanted to show Jo that he was all in and that his house could be their house.

“Yeah, size three, thank you, I really appreciate that,” Jo said looking at him with a soft smile, they stared at each other again for a moment before Jo went over to Asher's diaper bag by the door and came back with a teal silicone plate. “I was sort of thinking the same thing. Since I'm still living with Meredith and you know how crazy her place can be sometimes, so would it be okay if we just hang out here when we get together. I brought a few extra things and I thought maybe I could keep them here?”

“Yeah, that’d be great, I’d love to have you guys here as much as you want and you can bring over whatever you need. You could move in if you wanted to?” Alex said but immediately regretted it as he watched Jo’s eyes grow wide. “You don't have to or anything and I know that with the kids, we should let them get to know each other before we try and combine our families, just never mind, forget I asked.”

“Alex it's okay, really. I thought about it too,” Jo said before she looked down at the plate in her hands. “But you're right we should take things slow with the kids and let them get used to each other first, but then maybe we could give it a try.”

“I'd like that, there are two extra rooms upstairs so maybe in the next couple of months if things go well you could move in with me?” Alex offered with a shrug as Jo smiled.

“Yeah, that sounds good, maybe in less than a couple of months though,” Jo said, as she looked over at him with a kind of longing that he knew all too well. “I miss sleeping next to you.”

“Me too,” Alex said as he stared at Jo, her skin glowed from the pregnancy and suddenly he imagined what it would look like when she was further along with her round belly or even when she had their baby in her arms.

He could imagine what it would be like in a few months when they lived together, Jo would hold their baby and sit at the table as they ate together, with their three kids around them. He would sit next to her and have his arm around her shoulders as he talked with Eli, Alexis, and Asher about what they wanted to do that afternoon. He wanted them to all be a happy family together. He wanted it all right now and he hated that he had to wait for it to happen. However, Jo was right they needed to take things slow for the kid’s sake and he knew the wait would be worth it. She smirked as she caught him staring and came over to pull him out of his daydream with a quick peck to his lips.

“I also got something for the twins, to help with the adjustment,” Jo said as she went back to the diaper bag and grabbed out a book before handing it to Alex.

It was a children's book titled ‘You're Getting a Baby Brother!’ Alex smiled as he flipped through the pages. The story detailed what it was like to live with a baby brother and Alex thought it was fitting, especially considering that if they were going to be a family it would include Asher as well as the baby Jo was pregnant with.

“This is great. I'm sure the kids will love it and it'll help them get used to Asher, although he's not a baby anymore,” Alex smirked as he smiled over at Jo and he couldn't help the way his eyes trailed down as he stared at her stomach.

Jo caught his eyes and sighed as she shook her head with a smile. “You know, don't you?”

“Know what?” Alex said, looking back up at her as he played along, waiting for her to say it.

“You know that I'm pregnant,” Jo said, raising an eyebrow and waiting for him to deny it and knowing that he wouldn't.

“It wasn't really that hard to figure out,” Alex said with a wide smile, he was absolutely giddy at the thought of having a new baby with Jo.

Alex put the book on the counter and reached out to her. Jo allowed him to place one hand on her stomach as they both stared down at her belly. He knew that she still wouldn't be showing for a while, yet he was still disappointed when her stomach felt the same as it always did.

“I’m only eight weeks, so I’m not showing yet,” Jo said as if she was reading his mind as she placed her hand over his and they both looked down at her belly. “I've had Carina check me just to be sure. She did a full exam and work up and everything’s fine, but I haven’t scheduled the ultrasound. I wanted to wait until after I told you so you could come too.”

“You want me there for the ultrasound?” Alex asked, looking up at her again.

“Of course I do. I want you there for all of it Alex. I want you to be a father to our baby,” Jo said as she squeezed his hand.

Alex was so relieved that even after everything he put her through, Jo was willing to allow him to be in their child's life. He thought that she would still be hesitant because he had left once before and he didn’t think that she wouldn't trust him again so easily. After breaking her heart he knew it wouldn't be so easy for her to trust him again, but he was so thankful that she was giving him his chance.

“I promise you Jo, I'm not going anywhere and I know that I said that to you before and that I broke that promise as well, but I made that mistake once and I'm not going to do it again,” Alex said as he looked down at their hands still on top of each other on her belly and he wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his forehead against hers. “And I'm going to stay with you because I am so absolutely in love with you Jo. I went crazy without you and I'd be crazy to leave you again. I want this life, this love, this family with you. It was always supposed to be with you Jo, and I'm not going to walk away from that now.”

“I know,” Jo said with a nod. “Since you came back you've proven to me, not just with your words but with your actions. This afternoon alone, with everything that you've gotten for me, for my child, and for our new baby. You bought a high chair,” Jo said, pulling back a little bit to gesture to the high chair next to them. “And you chose me over Izzie. You stepped in when she asked why I wasn't in the magazine article. You protected me rather than explaining to her why I withdrew my name. You chose me and my family. You’ve shown me that you're not going anywhere, but they're still a part of me that says you could still up and walk away from me again because of how easily you did it the first time.”

Alex looked down at her belly again. He knew in his heart that he would never walk away from her again and not just because of their child, but Alex knew that there wasn’t anything he could do to make Jo trust him. She had to trust him on her own and he knew how hard that would be for her.

“But I'm willing to trust you and be all in with you,” Jo said as he looked up in shock and stared at her. “I can't let my fears hold me back from loving you and having a family with you. I can trust you again. I can trust you not to leave me again, and not just because I know you would never abandon your child and since I'm carrying one of them for the next eight months or so, I know you’re not going anywhere and I trust you not to leave again. You're here right now and I’m willing to be all in with you because I want to be happy with you, and right now you make me so happy, with everything you do for me.”

Alex let out a sigh of relief. The one thing he had been working for since he got back was to regain her trust. He was so excited and happy and wonderfully in love with her. “I love you so much Jo and I want to have a permanent family with you too. I want you to be a part of the twin’s lives as they grow up and I want you to be a part of my life again. I want to be a part of Asher's life too, we're going to be a family, all five of us well, soon to be six.”

“I want us all to be a family too,” Jo whispered, as he closed his eyes for a second and Jo relaxed into his touch. “I want you to be a permanent part of both of my children’s lives and I want to be a part of your kid’s lives in whatever role they’ll have for me. I want my children to know their siblings.”

Jo paused to look over and watched all of the kids play as Alex followed her gaze. He smiled as he watched Eli hand Asher the train that he was holding. Asher of course immediately put it into his mouth and Eli just laughed. Alexis reached over and spoke to Asher so kindly as she handed him, his pacifier instead. All three of the kids just clicked together as if it was meant to be.

“This afternoon when I watched you fly Asher around the room and I knew that you are all in with both of my kids,” Jo said as they looked back at each other and he stared into her eyes. “It makes me fall in love with you even more and I do love you, Alex.”

Alex pulled back to look at her. She looked back at him with her lips parted as their words hung between them. He knew that it wasn’t easy for her to say even the first time around. They had been together for two years before she had truly said it. He never needed to hear it, but he knew that by her saying she loved him now, that it was her signal to him that she was all in.

“I love you too,” Alex said, pulling back before he quickly leaned in and kissed her again.

Jo giggled against his lips before she pulled back. “Wait so, how long have you known I was pregnant?”

“I've known since, well since the day you threw up at the nurse’s station and then I put you down for a nap in the on-call room,” Alex said with a knowing smile, teasing her just a little bit.

“You put me down for a nap? Is that what happened?”Jo asked with a little laugh as she put a hand on his chest.

“Well you did kind of need one and you were protesting like a little kid.”

Jo let out a laugh and smiled as she shook her head. She looked back at the kids and Alex held her as they watched them play in the living room. They all seemed to be enjoying each other's company and completely oblivious to their parents. Eli and Alexis showed Asher how to put the train on the tracks and press the button so it would go around on its own. It warmed his heart to see the three of them getting along.

“We're having a baby,” Alex whispered in her ear.

“We are,” Jo said with a wide and happy smile, and Alex leaned in and kissed her again because if he didn't, he felt like he’d burst with joy.

They couldn't seem to contain their excitement as they laughed and smiled and kissed. Alex pulled her in and Jo moaned against his lips. Alex felt like he was floating on air. This was everything they wanted and more. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in. He kissed her with every ounce of love he had poured into his lips as he held her close. Jo moaned as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Their kiss was tender and sweet and he could feel Jo melt against him.

“Eww Daddy, what are you doing?” Eli asked as they parted to see all the kids staring at them. Eli had a grossed out look on his face, but Alexis smiled, while Asher just looked up at them.

“I'm kissing Jo is that okay?” Alex asked them as Jo moved back so she wasn’t pressed up against him, but still let him hold her waist.

“Un-huh,” Alexis immediately nodded excitedly. “Jo is your princess and you kiss princesses.”

“No,” Eli replied, shaking his head. “Kissing is gross.”

“Mama,” Asher babbled, as he got up and walked over to them, pulling on Jo’s pant leg and demanding to be held.

Jo smiled as she reached down to pick him up. As soon as she did, Asher laid a kiss on her lips before looking at Alex and giving him the stink eye. He clearly wasn’t happy that he was no longer the only man in Jo’s life.

Jo scoffed at Asher's look and Alex raised his eyebrow at him before leaning in and tickling Asher’s sides and his frown disappeared as he shrieked and laughed.

“All right well we'll try to keep the kissing to a minimum of grossness, but would you guys be okay with Jo and Asher being over a lot more going forward?” Alex asked as he looked over at the twins.

“Yeah, I like Asher and Jo’s nice too,” Alexis said with a nod that Eli quickly shared.

“Sounds good to me,” Jo said, looking over at him and smiling at Alex before Asher tried to wiggle out of her arms and Jo put him down so he could go back to his play.

“We're going to be a family,” Jo said as she put one hand on her belly, reality seemingly sinking in.

“I think we already are,” Alex said with a nod before he leaned in and kissed her cheek. She smiled and leaned against him as they watched their children play before Eli and Alexis complained about the lack of goldfish. They quickly finished lunch before calling the kids over. They all sat around the kitchen island talking and eating as Alex looked up and caught Jo’s eyes. She smiled at him as he reached out to put a hand over her belly. They were a family and it was everything he had ever dreamed.

……………………………………………………………………

The last few months of Jo's pregnancy seemed to fly by and all three kids were slowly getting used to the prospect of the new baby. Eli, Alexis, and Asher all seem to adapt rather quickly to the new family situation and Jo and Asher moved into Alex’s house when Jo was five months along. Asher had come to love Alexis and Eli and looked up to his big siblings. Asher also loved Alex as well and the day that Asher looked up at him and called him Dada, Jo and Alex's hearts melted. The five soon-to-be six of them were a family and Jo thanked whoever was in charge of the universe for this wonderful family she had been given.

Before they knew it, It was the first BBQ of the season and two days past Jo’s due date. Jo lounged on a deck chair with Alexis laying beside her. Alexis pressed her ear against Jo’s round belly listening to the baby move and kick inside of her. She was whispering secret things to the baby that even Jo didn't catch as she ran her fingers through Alexis’ long blonde hair.

Meredith was hosting a Backyard BBQ with most of their friends in attendance. Eli, Asher, Alex, and Link were playing soccer in the yard with Scout, and a few of the other kids. Meredith was talking with Amelia and Maggie, as Heyes and Richard barbecued the stakes and other food. Bailey and Ben were talking with Jackson and April while a few of the others lingered around the yard and watched the kids play.

“Thanks,” Jo said, as Meredith came over and handed her a drink, a lemonade. The most exciting thing Jo was allowed to have.

“Has she moved at all?” Meredith asked, looking down at Alexis as she sat next to them.

“Nope,” Jo said, with a smile as she brushed Alexis’ hair away from where it had fallen in her face.

Alexis was so excited for the new baby and couldn’t wait to meet them. Eli still wasn't quite as sure about it but said he wanted to see the baby after they were born. Whereas Asher was just mad that Jo's big belly was preventing him from sitting on her lap.

In the past seven months, Jo had gotten to know Eli and Alexis and had grown to love them as if they were her own. They were both so much like Alex, stubborn and caring, but they were also sweet and kind. One of the things that made her fall in love with them was the way Eli and Alexis loved Asher. They were the best big siblings to him that she could ever ask for. They were patient with the toddler and always took the time to make room for him in their play.

Eli would try to teach Asher everything he was learning while he did his homework and Asher was constantly learning new phrases from his big brother. Alexis would play dress-up with Asher and all three of the kids had the cutest little theater performances. Asher was always happy to let his big sister dress him up and they rocked the princess dresses together. Asher was the first person they hugged when she and Alex picked them up from Izzie’s and always talked about how they loved to have a little brother.

“Are you asking if they’re ready to come out and play with you already?” Meredith asked Alexis.

“No,” Alexis said, not taking her head off of Jo’s belly. “Mommy Jo said they’ll come when they’re ready.”

The twins had recently started calling her Mommy Jo. Although Izzie hadn't been happy about it, Jo was over the moon. She loved Alexis and Eli as if they were her own and she felt honored that they saw her as one of their moms.

“We’ll have to wait and see,” Jo said, rubbing her side as she had another Braxton Hicks contraction.

They had started coming frequently in the last few months, and she had a few the last couple of hours, but nothing consistent or particularly painful. Meredith eyed her as Jo breathed out, but didn't say anything. She just grabbed Jo's hand and let her squeeze her hand until it passed.

“Oh, then what were you telling them?” Meredith asked, after Jo let go of her hand and she leaned over to try and engage Alexis in conversation.

“It's a secret!” Alexis insisted picking up her head and putting her finger to her lips and shushing them, before returning to her spot on Jo's belly and continuing to whisper to the baby.

Jo and Meredith exchanged a look before they both laughed. They talked for a little while and Jo leaned back to enjoy the first sun of the spring, but that didn't last long as she had to pee. Jo always had to pee.

“Sorry Alexis, I gotta get up,” Jo said as Alexis picked up her head and Jo shifted to sit up and turn to put her feet on the deck.

Meredith came around to help her up as Jo couldn’t get up without help these days. That was definitely something she was looking forward to doing again after she gave birth. As soon as she stood up she had another Braxton Hicks and put one hand on her belly as she gripped Meredith’s arm.

“Another Braxton Hicks?” Alexis asked as she picked up Jo’s phone and reset the timer they had.

“Yeah...” Jo stopped to groan as it was a particularly strong one. Meredith moved to hold her up, her hand going to rub Jo’s back.

She breathed through the pain and it soon passed. Jo stood up straighter and let go of Meredith to put her hands on her back. She looked over at Alex who was still playing soccer and was relieved that he hadn’t seen her doubled over in pain.

“I’m fine. It’s just another Braxton Hick,” Jo said, ignoring Meredith’s look of concern.

“It looked like a contraction to me,” Meredith said with a smirk.

“It’s just another Braxton Hick,” Jo insisted, rubbing her belly.

“Oh really, Alexis?” Meredith asked, turning to look at her. “How far apart are your Mommy Jo’s Braxton Hicks contraction?”

“Umm, about ten minutes or so?” Alexis said, holding up the phone timer that they had set as she scrunched up her eyebrows up in such a way that was so cute that it was hard for Jo to be mad at her for snitching.

By the time Jo had become pregnant, she had been an OB/GYN for almost a year and by now she had delivered over two hundred babies. She knew what labor looked like and she noticed when the contractions started getting stronger earlier that afternoon. Jo had been tracking her Braxton Hick contraction for a few hours, but she still wasn't in active labor and was comfortable relaxing on the deck chair as she labored.

“Okay, so I'm in labor,” Jo whispered to Meredith as she rubbed her back. “And before you ask, yes they last for a minute, but they're still ten minutes apart which means we can't even think about going to the hospital yet, and I just wanted to labor in peace without you or Alex hovering.”

“Jo, you should at least let me or Alex check your cervix, especially if your contractions are this close!” Meredith insisted as Jo rolled her eyes.

“I’m a board-certified OB/GYN, I’m perfectly capable of checking my own cervix. Which I will, but right now I have to pee,” Jo whisper yelled before she waddled off to the bathroom.

She stayed in the bathroom a little longer than necessary, she knew the second she returned to the backyard Meredith and Alex would hover over her. Meredith was right, she was several centimeters dilated which meant they should probably head to the hospital, but Jo wanted a moment to collect herself before everyone around her started panicking. Jo was no stranger to painful experiences and she preferred to handle them on her own.

“Hey Jo, you alright?” Link called out to her as he knocked on the door.

Jo groaned and swung open the door intent on telling him to leave her alone, but suddenly gasped as she felt a gush of liquid trickle down her legs. Jo was embarrassed to admit that she had peed her pants once or twice, but she knew the moment it happened that this wasn’t her bladder. As Jo looked up at Link, her expression must have conveyed her situation.

“Your water broke. You’re in labor.” Link said eyes wide as he froze.

Jo nodded as she felt another contraction start. Suddenly it was all so very real and she was in a lot of pain as she gripped the door frame. She needed Alex. However, she couldn't speak as the contraction continued. Thankfully, Link was there for her and put his hands on her lower back offering counter-pressure. Jo sighed in relief as soon as her contraction passed and Link put his arm around her.

“No, get Alex,” Jo insisted as Link nodded, but helped her walk over to the living room so she could sit down before he left.

As Link left, Jo finally had the peace and quiet she wanted earlier, but all she could think about was how much she needed Alex. She put her hand on her belly, She hadn't felt the baby move in a while, and she missed the feeling of her baby kicking her, but she knew she would soon hold them in her arms.

“Ready to meet us, honey?” Jo asked and the baby responded with one strong kick giving Jo her answer. “Yeah, us too.”

“Jo?” Alex called out as he ran over to her, trying to hide the panic in his voice.

“Hey, I hope you're ready to meet them because they’re coming,” Jo said, smiling up at Alex as he came to kneel in front of her.

Alex laughed, but Jo knew it just meant that he was nervous. “Yes I know, Meredith and Link are getting the kids sorted, and then we’re going to head to the hospital as soon as Mere gets the car for us.”

“Oh god,” Jo moaned as another contracting hit. They were closer together and stronger now that her water had broken.

Alex had a look of pure panic as she grabbed his hand. Seeing him panic made Jo frustrated. She was in so much pain and she needed Alex to comfort her. It took him a moment, but Alex wrapped his arms around her waist as Jo leaned in and buried her head in his shoulder. He took both of Jo's hands and leaned in close as he instructed Jo on how to breathe.

“You can do this, Jo,” Alex said with a nod as he looked into her eyes and that was exactly what Jo needed to hear.

“Okay, Link and Amelia are going to watch the kids like you planned, we’ve got the car seats moved out of your car, and we’re ready to go,” Meredith said walking into the room. “Were you able to check how much you were dilated before your water broke?”

“I’m only 4cm, which means it could be hours!” Jo whined as she leaned back against Alex.

“I know, that’s why we’re going to the hospital so you can get settled and you rest for a few more hours before you have to push,” Meredith said, reaching down to help her up. “Come on, let's get in the car before you have another contraction.”

……………………………………………………………………

It took several hours for Jo's labor to progress and after a few hours, she asked for an epidural. Jo had gone back and forth initially about whether she wanted one, but was happy she got it, as it allowed her some to rest and even sleep before she had to push. Alex had been at her side the entire time, he had one arm wrapped around her shoulders and held her hand, while Meredith was on the other side holding her other hand. Link would have been there as well, but Jo loved him like a brother in that she didn't want her brother to see her naked and pushing out a baby. Besides Link was one of the only people Jo truly trusted with Asher overnight.

After twenty minutes of pushing their baby girl came into the world with a set of lungs that alerted the whole OB floor to her arrival. The second Carina put their daughter on her chest Jo just stared down at her in amazement. She was so perfect. She had round cheeks and thick tufts of dark hair. Jo cooed and gently brushed the tuffs of thick brown hair, she had so much hair. The baby stretched out her legs on Jo’s chest kicking her from the outside now before she curled back up into a tiny little ball. She continued to scream as Alex cut the cord, but calmed down as Jo rubbed her hand up and down her daughter's back before Meredith put a blanket over both of them.

Jo glanced back at Alex as he choked out a cry and he reached out to hold one of their daughter’s hands, letting the newborn’s hand wrap around his big finger. Jo held her closer as the baby looked up at them with big eyes that seemed to look straight into their souls.

“Hello,” Jo whispered to her. “I’m your Mommy and this is your Daddy and your Auntie Mere and we're so happy to meet you.”

The baby seemed content as Jo spoke to her and Jo closed her eyes as silent happy tears fell down her cheeks. Alex took a moment to comfort her, leaning over to kiss her forehead and squeeze her shoulders.

“You're so amazing, I know it was hard, but you did so good Jo,” Alex whispered in her ear before he kissed her cheek.

Carina let them settle, taking quick measurements and checking the baby over while she was on Jo’s chest. When she was done Jo looked up at Alex.

“You ready to hold her?” Jo asked before she transferred their daughter into his arms.

Alex held his daughter for the first time and seemed completely in love with her as he just stared down at her. He had never gotten the opportunity to be with the twins as newborns and Jo knew how much that meant to him. Jo turned her head and looked at Meredith.

“Well done Jo, and congratulations on your baby girl,” Meredith said as she smiled at Jo and squeezed her hand.

Jo relaxed back in bed as Carina finished cleaning her up. Alex finally looked over at Jo as she gave him a tired smile catching his eyes.

“Thank you,” Alex said looking down at her as he moved to sit on the bed as Meredith let go of her hand for the first time and let them have a moment alone.

“For giving birth, you better be thankful,” Jo said as she teased him with a light smile and reached out to adjust the blanket around their daughter.

“For telling me that you were pregnant, for letting me be a part of our daughter's life from the very beginning, for trusting me, for letting me be a part of your life and Asher’s life,” Alex said if he looked between his daughter and the woman he loved. “I didn't have that with Eli and Alexis but you let me have that with her and I will forever be grateful Jo.”

“I never would have kept her from you Alex,” Jo said as she reached out and Alex took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “But you're still welcome.”

They exchanged a smile before they looked down at their daughter again. Jo reached out and ran her finger over their baby’s cheek as she turned her head towards Jo. They were both completely in love with their new daughter as they got to know her.

Alex gave her back to Jo after a few minutes and Jo held her daughter for as long as possible, but she quickly grew tired from her long labor. Jo barely even protested when Alex lifted the baby off of her chest and pulled the blanket up to tuck her in.

“Don't name her until after I wake up,” Jo mumbled half asleep already.

“I promise I won't name her until after you wake up,” Alex said leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Despite how cool of a middle name princess would be.”

“Our daughter's middle name is not gonna be princess,” Jo insisted, not bothering to open her eyes to argue with him.

“But it would be so cool and no one would even notice,” Alex insisted, his voice full of excitement.

Jo groaned as she opened her eyes and looked over at Meredith. “Please don’t let him name our daughter princess.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll hold the birth certificate hostage until you wake up,” Meredith said with a smirk.

“Thank you, Meredith,” Jo said, closing her eyes again and melting into the bed. “You’re a good friend.”

“I thought you were supposed to be on my side, you’re my person,” Alex argued, although he had the decency to whisper.

“I am your person and as your person, I can't let you name your daughter princess,” Meredith insisted, whispering a little lower Alex but still audible for Jo to hear.

“Shut up or get out,” Jo said, throwing her hand out and hitting Alex’s arm.

“Ow, sorry, shutting up,” Alex said as Meredith giggled, but they remained quiet as promised and Jo drifted off to sleep.

She slept for a few hours before the baby woke her up to feed. Jo had opted to try and breastfeed, and Carina came back in to help her and the baby get a good latch and soon her daughter was happily suckling at her breast. Several of the nurses and other staff, including Bailey, also stopped by and cooed over the baby. When She left, Bailey remarked that she couldn't wait to see the baby again and it warmed Jo's heart to know that her daughter would grow up surrounded by a whole hospital that loved her.

“Okay, here's the birth certificate paperwork,” Carina said, as she left everything on the table next to Jo’s bed.

“And the other paperwork when you're ready,” Meredith said, giving her a wink.

“Why don't you get started on that,” Jo said, staring down at the little girl that was adorably milk drunk in her arms. She was so in love with her baby and she could barely take her eyes off of her, plus she had one last surprise for Alex and she didn't want her smile giving it away.

“Yeah okay,” Alex said, although he didn't take his eyes off of the baby and continued to rub his finger over her little hand where it was still wrapped around his finger.

Alex finally tore his eyes away from their baby to glance over the papers in front of him, before he began to fill it all out. Carina had already put down the time and their baby girl's weight and height so Alex filled out the parental information, leaving the name for last.

“So are we settled on the name Princess Edith Josephine?” Alex asked looking over at her.

“Just Edith Josephine, yes, I think we are,” Jo said as she reached out to capture Edith’s now free hand.

“Edith,” Meredith said with a smile as she reached out to capture the baby’s hand. “Derek had two babies named after him, but both of them go by other names. I have a baby named after me that will go by my name.”

“Derek's not here Mere, you can stop competing with him,” Alex said, not even bothering to look up.

“Just because he's dead doesn't mean I can't compete with him a little bit,” Meredith insisted with a smile as she rubbed her thumb on the back of Edith's hand.

“In that case, we’ll change her name to our second choice of Cristina Stephanie,” Alex said looking up from the paperwork to glare at Meredith.

“Alright, I'm shutting up, only because Christina Stephanie is too much of a mouthful,” Meredith said, rolling her eyes.

“Thank you,” Alex said sarcastically.

Jo smiled as she looked down at Edith again, who let out a yawn that was so adorable and Jo sighed and melted at how darling she was. They had considered naming her after a number of their friends, but they had settled on Meredith because if it wasn't for her their baby girl wouldn't exist.

After Alex left, Jo probably would have moved away, but Meredith had been there for her and encouraged her to stay. When Alex came back, she was the first person to encourage each of them to talk to each other. Looking back now they both realized how Meredith had orchestrated their meet up at the wedding. She had conveniently left her purse downstairs while working with Link and made sure that their kids were taken care of so they could have the alone time that led to the creation of their baby girl. She was the reason that their little girl existed and had two parents who were together, and it felt only right that Edith shared Meredith's name.

“I guess I can settle on Edith Josephine Wilson, Edith after Meredith, Josephine after you, because it's only fair since Alexis is named after me, and then your last name because we're not married,” Alex said as he picked up the pen.

“No, Edith Josephine Karev,” Jo said as she smiled down at Edith.

“Karev?” Alex asked, a little hesitant as Jo finally looked up at him.

“Yeah,” Jo said, the last name was the one thing they hadn’t discussed, but Jo had always known that her baby would be a Karev. “She's a Karev and I want to be a Karev again too, I want to marry you again and I love you. I miss having the last name of someone I love and I want my kids to have your last name too.”

Alex smiled so big and wide as he just stared at her so in love. “Of course I'll marry you again. I'll marry you right now if you want me to. Jo you've made me the happiest man in the world.”

“Well Alexis has already said that she'll kill us if she's not the flower girl at our wedding so maybe we should hold off,” Jo said with a smile, she was eager to be married again as well.

“Why don't I go get them now? It's not too late, and I'm sure they'll be waiting up in anticipation anyway,” Meredith said as she got up to leave, but not before she held Edith and cooed at her namesake, before handing her back to Jo.

Jo loved having Meredith around but she was also happy to have this moment alone just the two, well three of them. Especially with what she had planned for Alex to see.

“There's one other person I want to have your last name as well. Look under the birth certificate paperwork,” Jo said as she blushed and looked down at Edith again, biting her lip as she tried to wait for the big reveal she had planned.

She looked up again as she heard the shuffle of the papers to see Alex pulling out the adoption papers for Asher. His jaw dropped as he read over the papers, looking up at her before looking back down to read them again.

“Is this real? You want this? You want me to be Asher’s Dad?” Alex asked in disbelief as he stared at her.

“He calls you Daddy, and it’s not just because he hears it from Alexis and Eli, every time he says it, he means it. He loves you so much Alex, you're a father to him and I love that you love him too. He's yours in every way, but name and so I want you to adopt our son. I want him to be both of ours.”

Jo could feel the tears start to collect in her eyes as she spoke and she could see Alex getting teary eyed as well. He slowly made his way over to her, sinking into the chair next to her. Alex reached out and took her free hand giving it a squeeze before he leaned in to kiss her, giving her his answer in his lips. When he pulled back he kissed her forehead before he sat back down in the chair.

“I would be honored to adopt Asher and to be his father,” Alex said, getting choked up as he leaned in to kiss her again. Then he smiled and reached over to grab something from her hospital bag. It was a stack of documents all too similar to the one she had handed to him. “And I want you to be a legal guardian to Alexis and Eli. They call mom, you’re a parent to them and they look up to you. Nothing makes me happier than seeing you love them as much as I do. I talked it over with Izzie and we agreed that if anything happens, you need to be able to take care of them and have legal custody too.”

“Okay.” It was the only thing she could say as she nodded and the tears finally fell from her eyes. Alex reached out to grab her a tissue and Jo just smiled because she was so happy. In that moment her family was complete.

……………………………………………………………………

Jo let out a breath as she looked over at the door before she looked back at Edith as she slept peacefully in Jo’s arms. Meredith had texted and said that she was on her way up with the kids and Jo and Alex were quietly waiting for them.

“Relax Jo, take a deep breath,” Alex said, reaching out and putting a hand on her leg as he rubbed her knee. “They're gonna love her.”

“Alexis for sure, you saw how she clung to my belly, she’s never gonna want to be apart from her, but Eli and Asher. I don’t know. Eli still isn’t used to sharing things with Asher and Asher is so clingy. He's going to hate that I can't hold him 24/7 anymore,” Jo said as she stared down and Edith who was completely oblivious to the chaos her siblings were about to rain down on her.

“Okay, Yes Alexis is going to love her and probably steal her away from us half the time. But Eli is slowly getting used to having a younger brother and having Asher follow him around and it's not like Edith is going to be taking anything from him anytime soon. And Asher is so busy chasing the twins around half the time and I’ll take Edith so you guys can still have your nightly cuddles before he goes to bed. We've spent the past nine months getting ready for this, we can do it Jo.”

“Okay, you're way too calm for this where's my grumpy Alex,” Jo demanded looking over at Alex as he laughed and she smiled before letting out a breath.

There was a knock at the door and Jo looked to where she knew Meredith was waiting for them. She took a deep breath into her nose and out through her mouth cradling Edith just a little closer to her. Jo adjusted the hat on her head, it was just small enough for the regular baby hats and a little bit of her brown hair she had peeked out.

“Ready?” Alex asked, squeezing her knee.

“Yes,” Jo said, looking down at Edith before she reached out and grabbed Alex's hand.

“Okay come in,” Alex said as the door opened to reveal Meredith holding Asher with Alexis and Eli walking in front of her.

“Hi guys.” Alex smiled as the kids came over, a little hesitant, and Alex beckoned them to come closer.

Alex wrapped his arms around Alexis and Eli as Meredith stood next to them. All three of the kids seemed hesitant to come closer and Jo tilted her arms so they could see the baby.

“You guys have a sister,” Alex whispered, giving the twins a little squeeze. “Her name is Edith.”

“She's all wrinkly,” Eli said, scrunching up his eyebrows while Alexis just looked at her in awe.

“Mama, I miss you,” Asher said, not caring about the baby at all and reaching out to her although Meredith kept her grip on him.

“I miss you too, but I had your sister, see,” Jo said with a smile, as she pulled the blanket back so he could see Edith. Asher tilted his head and stared at her, but looked back up at Jo after a moment.

“I have a sister,” Alexis said looking up at them wide-eyed before she promptly dissolved into tears.

“Oh sweetie,” Jo said, reaching out to her as Alex tried to comfort her, but Alexis crawled up onto Jo's bed.

Jo was surprised that Alexis chose to curl up in her arms rather than seeking comfort from Alex, but just held her as Alexis tucked herself against her side. Jo kissed her head and wrapped an arm around her shoulders as Alexis continued to cry. She seemed completely overwhelmed and Jo just rubbed her hand up and down her arm.

“Do you want to hold her?” Jo said as she leaned into Alexis and whispered to her.

Alexis just nodded as she continued to cry as Jo shifted Edith into her lap. Jo wrapped her arms around Alexis and Edith as Alexis held her sister. As she looked down at Edith who was still sleeping, Alexis’ cries slowed to a stop.

“She's so tiny,” Alexis whispered as Edith moved in her sleep and one of her arms slipped out from the loose swaddle and Alexis reached out to hold her hand. “But your belly was so big.”

Jo glared at Alex and Meredith as they both laughed. “Well my belly held a lot more than just the baby, remember there was water in there too that kept her cushioned and the placenta that fed her.”

Alexis just shrugged as she rubbed her thumb over Edith's hand and became completely engrossed in her little sister. “Hi Edith, I'm your big sister, I love you.”

Jo couldn't stop the tears that collected in her eyes and she took a moment to glance over at Alex who just smiled at Alexis and Edith. Jo had never had a big family even with Asher, it was just the two of them, but now she had this huge family with Alexis and Eli. Her kids had two siblings who loved them so much and would look out for them as they grew up.

“Can I hold her?” Eli asked in his small little voice that Jo barely caught.

“Yeah Bud, let's sit back and you can hold her,” Alex said as he traded places with Eli so he could sit in the chair.

Alexis gave Edith a little hug goodbye before Alex lifted her off of Alexis’ lap and set her into Eli's arms. Eli was a little awkward at first and seemed to freeze as she was placed in his arms, but Alex showed him how to hold her and Eli just stared down at Edith.

“Hi,” Eli said to her a little unsure as Edith opened her eyes and stared up at him. The brother and sister seem to stare at each other and eventually, Eli smiled.

“Can I have her back?” Alexis asked, watching Edith and Eli intently as everyone just laughed.

“You can have her back in a minute, you've got to share her remember,” Jo said, hugging Alexis close before looking up at Meredith and motioning for her to give her Asher. Jo held her first baby as he snuggled closer to her and Jo sat him on her left side before she wrapped her arms around both of her kids, Asher and Alexis. “What do you think of the baby Asher?”

Asher stared intently over at Eli and Edith and looked back at Jo before looking back at Edith and Eli and pointing. “Baby sissy.”

“Yeah that's right, that is your baby sister,” Jo said as Asher looked back at Eli and Edith staring intently at them. “Eli are you done? Can Daddy bring her over so Asher can see her?”

“I want to hold her longer,” Eli said, looking up at Jo for the first time since Alex placed Edith in his arms.

“I promise, you can hold her later,” Alex said as he lifted Edith from Eli's arms. “You've got your whole life to hold her, let's let her and Asher meet.”

Alex paused when he looked at Jo as she had one arm around Alexis and the other around Asher, so he sat down on the bed and moved the blanket so Asher could see. Jo watched her son take in the new baby. One of her fears throughout this pregnancy was that Asher wouldn't adjust well to being a big brother. He took to being a little sibling with the twins so well, but when they weren't there he got one hundred percent of Jo and Alex’s attention. He loved being the center of their attention and Jo wasn't sure how he was going to act with Edith around.

Asher stared at Edith as Alexis crawled over to Alex. With Alexis freeing up her other arm Alex moved Edith into Jo’s free arm. She had a moment of panic as she held both of her babies. It felt so overwhelming to have both of them at the same time, but she quickly got used to it. Edith stared up at her for a moment before closing her eyes again and Asher leaned forward to look at the baby as Jo held them.

“What do you think, Mommy?” Alex asked, looking at Jo with a smile. He had one arm around Alexis with him on the bed and the other around Eli as he leaned against him. “We've got two little ones now and two big ones?”

“I think it’s perfect,” Eli said as he leaned into Alex's side. “We've got two girls and two boys and two A names and two E names.”

“Yeah, I think it's pretty perfect two,” Jo agreed with Eli looking up as she caught the way Alex's eyes sparkled. He smiled as he leaned forward to kiss her lips and Jo smiled against his kiss.

……………………………………………………………………

If Jo thought going from one kid to three was hard, going from three to four was absolute chaos, but some days were calmer than others and lazy Sunday mornings were the best. Edith was now two months old and it was waffle Sunday at the Karev house. The first Waffle Sunday since Jo and Asher were officially made Karevs at a joint adoption and Wedding ceremony. The only person who was not in their pajamas was Edith because she had spit up on them, but the rest of them lounged around the living room with cartoons playing in the background.

Jo leaned against the couch with Edith as she set the baby on the rug and grabbed the pair of jingly keys and held them in front of her. Asher took the opportunity of her free arms to crawl into them and Jo hugged her boy and planted a kiss on his cheek. Alexis came to sit next to Edith and immediately picked her up.

“Alexis, she’s doing tummy time, you can hold her in a second,” Jo said lightheartedly although she made no move to take Edith from Alexis.

“But Mommy Jo she wants to play with me,” Alexis said, giving her a smile she knew Jo wouldn't refuse before she looked down at Edith and cooed at her.

Asher reached out from his place on Jo's lap to hold Edith’s hand. Of all the kids, she was worried most about how Asher would adjust to Edith, but he loved his little sister and always wanted to just be near her. Edith held onto her brother's fingers and stared up at him until Alexis caught her attention with the toy keys again.

“I hold her hand,” Asher said looking up at Jo.

“I see you are holding her hand,” Jo said with a smile.

Eli crawled over and laid down on the couch as he grabbed one of the many toys laying around and held it above Edith. Asher grabbed for the toy and Eli laughed as he let him have it and Asher got off of her lap and crawled up next to Eli. Jo looked over at Alex who was busy in the kitchen making the waffles. With the kids occupied, Jo went over to the kitchen. She wrapped her arms around Alex’s waist and laid her head on his shoulder enjoying the feeling of him in her arms.

“Are you getting hungry Mrs. Karev,” Alex asked as he got the last waffle out of the waffle iron and put it on a plate.

“That's Dr. Karev to you,” Jo said, swatting his ass before he tilted his head to quickly kiss her.

“Hey, you think we could sneak away for a little alone time?” Alex asked, he turned around and grabbed her hips pulling them against him as he leaned in to kiss her.

Jo looked back at all the kids as they were occupied in the living room. Alexis had put Edith back on the floor and was holding the keys above her head as she reached for them, while Asher and Eli were completely engrossed in the TV show and had scooted close to cuddle together.

“I'd say we got about five minutes until someone gets hungry, but I think we should make it work,” Jo said as she wrapped her arms around Alex's neck and tilted her head to kiss him.

Both of them quickly snuck off down the hall getting just as far as the door to the study. Alex kissed his way down her neck and Jo tried not to moan. She fumbled for the doorknob and just as she was about to open it and push Alex inside Eli called out to them.

“Daddy, Mommy Jo, I'm hungry, are the waffles ready?”

Of course, this set off a cry of replies from Asher and Alexis also demanding waffles, and on top of that Edith started crying as well. Jo knew she would be hungry as she hadn't eaten since 5 am that morning when Alex got up with her.

“Okay guys, go wash your hands and sit at the table and we’ll be there in just a second,” Alex said with a sigh as he leaned his forehead against Jo’s.

“We were so close,” Jo said with a sigh as she shook her head.

“Do you want to serve the waffles or calm the baby?” Alex asked, wrapping his arm around her waist as they both walked down the hall into the living room.

“I'll take Edith, she's probably hungry,” Jo said, walking over to where she and Alexis were still lying on the rug.

“She's also stinky,” Alexis said, while turning her head away and wrinkling her nose.

“On second thought you can take her,” Jo said, picking Edith up and handing her off to Alex before quickly walking away.

“Why do I always get stuck with diaper duty?” Alex asked as he moved to cradle Edith and gently swayed as she fussed.

“Because I was pregnant with her for nine long months during which I took care of her 24/7. Then I was in labor with her for over nine hours and I pushed her very big head out of my vagina, so I’d say you owed me a lifetime of diaper changes,” Jo said, setting him with a look.

“Mommy's always going to hold that one over me isn't she?” Alex asked Edith as he grabbed the diapers and wipes from the basket they had in the living room. The changing station had long since moved to the side of the couch easily in reach.

“Daddy you should be grateful. Mommy Jo sacrificed a lot to have Edith,” Eli piped up as he ran up to the counter to help Jo with the waffles.

“Thank you Eli,” Jo said as she put her arm around his shoulders and gave him a quick hug before popping a Waffle on a plate and handing it to him.

“Mommy Jo when are you and Daddy going to have another baby?” Alexis asked as Jo gave her a plate.

“We're done having babies Alexis, I think our family is perfect just the way it is,” Jo said leaning down and swiping Alexis’ nose as she giggled.

“Yeah, but I want another one,” Alexis insisted as she sat down next to Eli.

“No babies,” Asher said as he came over and Jo lifted him up onto her hip before she grabbed the stack of waffles and walked over to the table.

“How about we get you a doll Alexis?” Jo asked as she sat down and put Asher in the highchair.

“Can it be one of those ones that looks really real and cries and eats and stuff,” Alexis asked with excitement. “Ellis and I found one online and it looks so real.”

“If Alexis gets a real baby doll can I get a real oven,” Eli said from where he was shoving his waffle into his mouth.

“We have an oven, buddy,” Alex said, coming back in with Edith and sitting there next to Jo, before handing her the baby. “I think she’s hungry, she keeps trying to eat my shirt.”

Jo laughed as she saw the drool stain on Alex's shirt. She got Edith settled before she lifted up her shirt and pulled out her breast before quickly getting Edith latch on.

“Daddy we've lived here for almost a year and you and Mommy Jo have never once used that oven. I don't think it's even real,” Eli insisted gesturing to the oven and Jo couldn't help but laugh.

“Okay, listen the oven does work and I'll prove it to you. This afternoon you and I are going to use the oven, what do you want to make?” Alex said, pointing his fork at Eli before he grabbed a piece of waffle and held it out for Jo to eat since she had her hands full.

Eli took a moment to think and he got this adorable little serious face as the breakfast table quieted down as they all waited for his response.

“I want to make a cake,” Eli decided with a nod.

“I want cake,” Asher said, his eyes lighting up as he smiled.

“Alright, cake it is,” Alex said with a smile. “We can go to the store and get the ingredients after breakfast.”

“Alex, are you really going to cook a cake from scratch?” Jo asked as Alex fed her another piece of waffle. “Do we even have cake pans?”

“No we’re going to go to the store and get a boxed cake mix which can't be that hard to make,” Alex said before taking a bite of his own waffle.

“Chocolate cake?” Asher asked, getting excited as he bounced in his seat.

“Oh, can we get sprinkles?” Alexis asked, talking with her mouthful.

“Chocolate does sound really good,” Jo added, before looking down and Edith. “You want cake too, don't you baby. Yes, yummy cake milk from Mommy.”

“Alright, we’ll go and get chocolate cake with sprinkles that everybody can enjoy,” Alex said, as he leaned over to smile down at Edith from where she still nursed at Jo's breast and reached out to grab her fingers as she waved her arm up at him.

Jo looked down at Edith and watched her baby happily eat for a few minutes before she looked up and watched the rest of her family. Eli went on about how he would decorate the cake while Asher got more excited and actively bounced in his high chair. Alexis asked if they could add some flowers and Alex of course happily gave in to all of it.

It wasn't anything special, just a normal Friday at the house with all of the kids, but Jo was so happy. Jo had once imagined what it would have been like if she and Alex had never divorced and had made things work with the twins together. If they had they might not have had Edith and they certainly wouldn't have had Asher. Despite all of the pain, she and Alex had somehow found their way back to each other and created this wonderful family together.

She looked over at Alex and reached her hand out to him, he captured her outstretched hand and gave it a squeeze. Jo tugged on his hand as a silent signal to him and Alex smiled as he leaned forward and kissed her lips. Jo smiled against him as his beard tickled her cheeks.

“Was that for anything in particular,” Alex opened his eyes and pulled back just a little bit so he could look at her with a soft smile.

“It was just because I can and because I love you,” Jo said, stealing another kiss before she pulled back.

“I love you too,” Alex said, as he put his arm around her shoulders and scooted closer to her.

This family, this life she had with Alex, didn't start out perfectly, but somehow they worked it out and now they had this beautiful family together.

#alex karev #jolex #grey's anatomy #otp: home and heart #eli stevens #alexis stevens #meredith grey #atticus lincoln #my fanfiction #my writing #my work #IRIATW #jo wilson

20 notes · View notes

miazeklos · 6 years ago

Note

Hey, I love your blog and your fics! I'm a huge fan of your writing and your stories

Hey! Thank you, Anon, glad you’re enjoying them! ^.^ There are indeed many ships to be taken into account and that does make sense, so here it goes. All the ship names are censored through the bright idea of using Cyrillic letters haphazardly so that this post doesn’t look like a coded message and the censoring isn’t obvious.

That’s the template:

NOTP: I don’t really think I have one, tbh? Alec/any woman makes me uncomfortable, though.

no thanks: See above. Unless someone is being particularly creative with the weirdness, I can’t think of one.

wouldn’t read a fic about it: full disclosure; I’ve barely read anything at all recently. There’s just so much going on constantly and. yeah. But there are plenty of ships in this fandom I don’t ever really seek out fic for, to be honest.

overrated: I’m Not Going There, but really, all of the big three get a whole lot of attention - which makes sense, they’re the big three - and sometimes there’s just… not much basis for it.

kinda leaves me indifferent?: Sizzу. I like them as friends, but what we’ve seen so far on the show hasn’t given me much to stand on for this ship.

BROTP: The Lightwood trio are the ultimate one for this category, let’s be real. Also Alec/Clary has potential in the times when, you know, neither of them is dying, presumed dead, or mad because Things Are Happening To Jace And You Did This.

dunno: Based purely on the fact that I never know where I stand on it but do really love the relationship, Jace/Izzy.

no homo: as if

meh: Synonymous with the indifferent category, really.

not really my thing: Clacе, probably? I do enjoy it from time to time but I can count the times I’ve actually invested myself in the relationship on the fingers of one hand.

OT3: Маlace and Неronlightstar for sure. There are a few other combinations here, but these are the ones that actually shine for me.

why not: That’s pretty much me @ the majority of the ships in this fandom. I’m willing to try almost anything.

would read a fic about it: Sарhael probably works for this one. I’ve even written fic about it and don’t often go through the tags purposefully, but I have and I would.

underrated: Sеbjacе and Jаgnus. There’s so much going on with them and the only thing stopping me from saying that it deserves more attention is that if it does get that attention, it’ll inevitably end up in The Discourse somehow.

I’m curious, can I know more?: Again, most ships for this one. Gаrrobаne is a big one, though; I haven’t invested in it much but would like to do so in the future.

OTP: Lightstаr. Don’t @ me. It’s a good ship and it deserves it all. Also Сlimon, for the same reasons.

I SHIP IT: Jаgnus fits this amount of passion well, haha. I need so much more of it.

reads fics about it: Actively? Jаlec, Lightstаr, Malacе, Sebjасе, the occasional Malес.

CUTENESS OVERLOAD: You know, now that this has been brought up, I’m not sure if I could sincerely describe any ship on this show, canon or not, as cute. Сlizzy have their moments, if rare, and so do Сlacе аnd Mаlec, but again, rare.Important edit: СLIMON, how could I forget Climоn.

we need more of it: Jаgnus and Jаia and also Lightstаr. Please I just want these characters to interact in absolutely any way possible regardless of the circumstances how much would this take I’m

the sexiest pair: Not to be obnoxiously bisexual all over this post, but this show consists solely of ridiculously attractive people. I couldn’t possibly choose.

the best OTP of all the OTPs / hELL YES / Soulmates / I WOULD DIE FOR IT OKAY: These are all Jаlec I’m s orry but I’m weak-willed and also trash. But yeah, this is it. The biggest ship. Always has been.

Thank you for the question! It was really fun to do. ;D

#asks #Shadowhunters #fandom #Anonymous

3 notes · View notes

xxisxxisxxis · 5 years ago

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Fifty-Seven

A/N: this is kinda raunchy. I'm not sorry.

Word count: 4K

Warning(s): explicit language, explicit sexual situations, mentions of drug abuse

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @sinningsixx @edwardtriggerhandzz @lemmyjelly @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @vamprlestat @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @xpoisonousrosesx @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @fandomshit6000 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @kingbouji3 @evrsncnewyork @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @swoopygorl @justjodeye @liith-ium @caos18blog @ytwahsog @shamlessobsession @scarecrowmax @toadspleen @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @loveofmyloif @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @cruecifymesixx @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor @emmaelizabeth2014 @meetthesixxter @sixxsixxsexx @sublimeprincesswasteland @arianareirg @girlnight-terror @mcnibberachi

@fancywasmyname1 @teller258316 @ggorehorror @blowinmeupwithherlove @xrosegoldwolfx @mylifeisjustafeverdream @redlipscrystalskies14 @str4nge-haze

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

1981

"...Shh." Nikki chuckles out in a smile, his hand over my mouth as he comes up for a second so I can calm down. "If your parents hear you, I'm fucked."

"I'm sorry, you've been going down on me the past hour, I'm really sensetive right now, and I thought you didn't care." I whisper, quoting him from something he's said before.

He just smirks.

"I thought about it and decided if we get caught, I won't be able to do this..." He tugs my nipple with his teeth for a moment, causing me to gasp out. "...or this..." he pushes two fingers into my slick cunt and I arch my back, the delicious friction causing my body to crave more. "...or this." He goes back to where he was, his tongue working at my swollen clit.

I take in a sharp breath, trying to keep from moaning too loud as he devours me and every last drop of sticky-sweet running out of me.

"Oh, fuck, daddy." I whine out, my hips bucking up, grinding against his feasting mouth, only causing him to move his tongue faster and more deliberately.

He hums at the sound, his dark eyes glancing up at me, his hands keeping my thighs spread wide open as he sucks at my clit, making my eyes roll back, my toes curl, and a wanton moan leaves my lips as my pussy tenses and relaxes repeatedly, wanting to be filled and abused.

Nikki finishes licking the cum from between my legs, before laying beside me as my exhausted body tries to wind down.

"You don't want me to do anything for you?" I ask him, taking deep breaths, blinking slowly at him.

He shakes his head, giving me a little smile, before pulling the covers up to my chin so I don't have to.

"No, Viv, getting to eat you for over an hour straight is repayment enough." He chuckles and my face burns red.

"Quit saying it like that." I cover my face with my hands.

"That's what I was doing, was it not?"

"I guess, but you don't have to be so..." I wrinkle my nose for a second. "...I don't know."

"Oh, so you can call me 'daddy' but when I call it 'eating', it's the end of the world?" He looks at me and I narrow my eyes at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I deny his accusation and he raises his brows.

"Oh, please, Viv, you scream it out like a bitch in heat almost everytime we fuck around."

"Fine, then, I'll stop." I shrug and he snaps his attention to me.

"I didn't say I didn't like it, it's just amusing to hear it from you, of all people, Saint Viv."

"Shut up, Devil Spawn." I shove at his arm.

"Ow." He complains, rubbing his hand over where I hit him, pretending to be hurt.

I roll my eyes and he mocks me, causing me to shove at his arm again.

"Do it again, see what happens." He threatens and I, spitefully, do it again.

I don't have time to react before he's snatching me onto him, grasping my wrists in his hands as he tickles at my stomach, causing me to double over and try to keep from waking my parents.

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I whisper yell and he stops, allowing me to catch my breath and he laughs arrogantly, his rough palms rubbing up and down my thighs, calmly, his smile slowly starting fade as he looks up at me.

"What is it?" I ask him, self-consciously pulling the covers back around me to cover my chest.

"You're beautiful." He says lowly, his hand coming up to brush my red hair from my face.

"Don't be weird." I say in regards to whatever the hell is happening between us.

We've only messed around a handful of times and I've been trying not to get attached because there's no point. I don't need him bullshitting me just for the hell of it.

"I'm being honest, Viv. You are."

"So is every other girl you have fun with. We're already fooling around anytime either of us wants it, you can stop trying to tell me nice stuff so I'll let you between my legs, Nikki." I laugh it off, but the sting of the truth strikes through my body.

"The other girls are nice to look at, but are grade-A hangers-on. They could give less of a fuck as long they're getting boned by a rockstar, they don't care." He replies.

Apparently the look I give him is one of doubt.

"I'm always right." He states sarcastically with a toothy grin. "So if I say you--despite being a pain in the ass--are beautiful, then there's no arguing about it." He adds and I try not to make my overjoyed smile obvious, instead leaning down, pressing my lips to his.

1987

"Another vehicle, Nikki, are you kidding me?!" I scream as he simultaneously says, "don't fucking start, Viv!"

He can't be serious.

"Do you not remember that notice we got about the $5,000 a day in heroin being spent, Nikki, or did that just fly over your head? We have bills, we have have things that we need to prioritize and what do you do?! Buy another car!"

He just ignores me, grabbing a paper bag from the fridge.

I give up on fighting, tears of frustration rolling down my cheeks as I grab my car keys to just get the hell out of here.

He had gotten a brand new Mercedes Benz after I had asked him to wait until we got more money from the album and the tour. He decided we had enough money and went for it.

I angrily wrap packing tape around the cardboard box packed full of Steven's things, seeing him flinch each time the tape let out a squeak from me manhandling it.

"You good, Viv?" He asks me cautiously and I glare at him.

"I married a junkie who's mission is to damn near give me a heart attack anyway he possibly can whether it's with his drug abuse or simply spending money we don't necessarily have." I state. "So, no, Stevie. I could be better."

"Oh...I'm sorry." He mumbles.

"It's called D-I-V-O-R-C-E. They're perfect in situations such as your's and could really benefit you and him." Izzy sarcastically let's out, raising his brows and I slowly turn to look at him with a death glare. "Or suffer, that's a good option, too." He shrugs.

"We don't want that." I state as Duff comes in the living room from the kitchen.

"Not what I've heard." Izzy scoffs back. "Sixx talks when he's smacked out."

"And what exactly does 'Sixx' say?" I ask, raising my brows.

I can feel Steven making motions to Izzy from behind me, and I turn to look at him only to see him pretending to rub the bottom of his jaw with his knuckles.

It's obvious he was just running his hand against his neck in a "stop" motion to Izzy.

"Uh, n-nothing." Duff puts in as an unsettling tension settles in, like the three of them are on a level of understanding that I'm not aware of.

"Guys, seriously, what does he say?" I ask.

"It's not really what he says as much as what he does." Izzy let's out carefully and Duff glares at him.

"What does he do?"

"Cries." Duff states.

"Yeah." Steven adds.

"Like a little bitch." Izzy sighs.

I look at them for a moment before deciding to not ask anything else.

"Okay, Steven, here." I finish taping his box of stuff.

"Thanks, Viv." He replies, picking the box up, and suddenly every nude magazine he owns is spilling onto the floor from the bottom of the box.

"Aw, dude, that wasn't suppose to happen." Steven states and I hand the tape to Duff when he offers to retape it, before plopping down beside Izzy.

The difference in Fred, Mick, Duff, Steven, Izzy, Slash and Axl keeping the Vanity situation from me, and Tommy, Vince, Doc, and Tansy, keeping it from me was that Vince, Doc, Tommy and Tansy were protecting Nikki.

Everyone else thought they were protecting me, instead they would constantly down Nikki about it, trying to get him to stop his shit.

It would have been nice for someone to tell me instead of having me looking like an absolute dumbass in front of God and everyone.

But I can see why they would think I couldn't handle that information at that time.

"Baby, c'mon, Tommy and I leave in a couple hours." Nikki pleads with me over the phone.

"Okay, so just days ago I was a 'psycho cunt' and you bought a brand new car a couple days ago just to spite me, and now I'm 'baby' again?" I question him.

"We fucked last night, Viv." He states and I sigh.

"We have sex because we're horny, Nikki, not because either of us are sorry for whatever we fight about." I point out and he groans.

"Just get down here and tell me 'bye', please?" He asks and I let out a breath.

"Fine, I'll be down there in a few minutes." I tell him, rolling my eyes.

How Nikki's logic worked:

Sex = apology.

I had accepted that, but a few months into '87, I realized sex didn't fix anything. It just swept it under the rug and allowed the both of us to pretend nothing was wrong.

The rug was starting to have so much dirt swept under it, it wasn't even laying flat on the floor anymore.

I shut the door of my car, Nikki waiting for me outside in his sunglasses, despite it being night out, his cocky smirk plastered on his lips at the fact that I came when he snapped his fingers, like always.

He holds a cassette out to me and I raise a brow, unamused.

"An apology for being an asshole." He tells me.

On the label reads "You're All I Need."

"Remember that song I wanted to write for you?" He asks and I nod, not necessarily knowing how to feel.

"I'll see you when you get back." I let out, giving a tight smile, opening my car door but he shuts it quickly, turning me to face him.

"That's it? No 'thank you', no 'goodbye' kiss, no nothing?" He questions me.

"I'm still upset over our fight Nikki."

"We always have bullshit fights, Viv. We say shit we don't mean all the time."

"Okay, but we're getting too comfortable saying hurtful things to each other, are we not?" I point out, and he sighs, shaking his head a little.

"We tried therapy, it didn't work, so. I don't know what to tell you."

"We went to a handful of sessions, Nikki, before you refused to go after Nona passed away." I remind him.

"Because we were both miserable in those sessions."

"Well, it's nearly one year later and we're still miserable." I state and he furrows his brows.

"Being married to me makes you miserable?" He hisses out.

"I didn't mean it like that, I just mean--"

"--Great, well, I'll see you in five days." He cuts me short, hurt over what I said, stepping to the door.

"That's not what I meant, Nikki." I follow after him and grasp at his wrist. "I meant the both of us are getting more and more unhappy."

"I'm fine." He pipes. "I'm sorry if you're antidepressant stopped working or something but I'm fantastic, Viv."

"You're fantastic?"

"Yep."

People who are doing "fantastic" don't self-medicate but okay.

"I'll do better." He says to me, smiling down at me reassuringly. "Alright?"

I nod, and he looks me up and down for a moment before catching my lips with his.

His Jack flavored tongue meets mine, eliciting a soft hum from me as his hands hold at my waist, my fingers lacing in his hair.

We take a few steps back and I feel my legs hit the front of my Corvette. I drop the tape to push his jacket off his shoulders when he nudges for me to sit back on the hood of my car, already knowing where this is going.

His lips trail down my neck, his teeth nipping at my hardened nipples through my dress, causing me to giggle and moan simultaneously, my fingers running through his teased hair.

He stands up straight to unbuckle his belt, the sight of his prick desperate to get out of his pants has a wave of pleasure sweeping up my back, my hand pulling my dress up to run over the soft fabric of my panties, the toe of my heel gently traveling up the inside of his leather covered thigh.

He stops me just before I can trace over the bulge in his pants, his hand gripping my ankle, his fingers of his other hand untying the lace of his pants.

I sit up, reaching my hand out to free his cock, but he grabs at my jaw, forcing me to look at him.

"No, no." He wags his finger at me with a slick smile and my mouth waters when he pulls himself from his pants, precum already beading at his tip.

He sees me eyeing it, purposely wrapping his fist around his shaft to jerk of a couple of times, causing even more of the liquid to leak from him.

"Go ahead have a taste because every last drop is going in that pretty pussy so you remember who's you are while I'm gone."

My core tenses up, evidence of my arousal wetting my panties at his words and I don't hesitate to swipe my thumb across his tip, enjoying his jaw tensing at the contact, before making a show of sucking my thumb into my mouth to lick it off.

He stares at me and I blink up at him, taking my thumb from my mouth, waiting for him to make the next move.

And oh, does he.

He's impatiently pushing my dress to my hips and yanking my panties off, holding at one of my legs as his fingers trail between my legs to my clit.

I let out a harsh breath when he lightly runs the pad of his thumb over the sensitive nerves, watching my face.

I have to bite my lip in order to keep from cursing at him teasing me, and he licks his lips before taking his dick in his hand, rubbing the head against my clit, watching as my eyes close and a whimper leaves my lips.

I feel my pulse in my core, and the ache of utter need has me giving him my best "fuck me" eyes I can muster up.

"Does my little slut wanna be fucked?" He asks and I nod, looking at him with my eyes half-open.

I shudder when he drags his tip to my hungry cunt, slowly, agonizingly, sliding into me.

My back arches as he gives me the time to feel his girth stretching me, and he grins, his head falling back, his hands pushing my thighs against the hood of the car.

"I will never get over how fucking tight you are." He tells me in an almost moan, pulling back out again and slowly sliding back in, time looking down to see himself thrusting in and out of me.

"So good." I let out softly, my hands pinching at my nipples through my dress and he starts to pick up the pace, causing me to gasp and moan with every thrust as he goes deep into me, hitting my cervix.

I remember where we're at and I put my hand over my mouth to keep from drawing attention from the street incase anyone can hear me.

Nikki doesn't like that.

"Keep your fucking hand down." He orders, pulling my hand from my mouth. "I want them to know you're getting fucked, I want them to know who's fucking cock you're taking inch for fucking inch." He states, and I moan quietly at his words, still not wanting to draw attention.

My walls tighten and loosen around him as he continues to drive into me, my sounds of pleasure getting louder and louder with my loss of control and Nikki's determination.

His fingers quickly go back and fort against my clit, causing me to let out an unexpected cry, my hand holding at his wrist to try to get him to stop but he won't.

"Good girl." He praises me for not trying to hide my pleasure, grunting at the feeling of my pussy tightening around him.

The wet sound of him moving in and out of me mixed with my cries and he cursing fills my ears.

"Harder, Nikki, please." I beg, a masochistic part of me not wanting to walk right for a couple days.

I don't have to ask twice, his hand's around my throat, his fingers roughly stimulating my clit while his prick mercilessly starts pounding into my weeping cunt, only causing me to moan the best that I can with him choking me.

The two of us look at each other in pure ecstacy and I smugly grin before opening my mouth, sticking my tongue out.

His hand grasps at my throat a little tighter as he leans forward and spits in my mouth, only letting his grip loosen briefly so I can swallow it.

Our bodies are now drenched in sweat and I'm growing closer and closer, squeezing around him so tightly I think he's having to force himself not to finish before I do.

I'm probably looking up at him like he's a god, mesmerized by the sheen of sweat covering his chest, his thumb of his hand around my throat softly swiping the skin of my neck, sweetly contradicting his roughness.

"Oh, daddy, I'm gonna come." I gasp out. It's been a while since I've called him that in bed and it's only motivating him to go harder. "Fuck!" I mewl, squeezing my eyes shut as I tighten around him even more before my orgasm hits and my pussy's spasming in hopes of getting every last bit of his load.

He groans from the sensation before I feel him push back into me, forcing himself against my cervix, hot cum coating the inside of me.

"What the fuck?!" Tommy screams in a high pitch, and Nikki and I startle, looking in the direction of the door to see Tommy and Vince standing there, just walking out, but being met with Nikki inside me, with his hand around my throat and me moaning.

I'm horrified, Tommy's traumatized, Vince is probably wishing he had his camera, and Nikki's...well...

"Hahaha!" Nikki let's out, pulling my dress down my legs so I don't flash Tommy or Vince. "Sorry." He says next, tucking himself back into his pants, picking his jacket up off the ground as I scramble to get off the car, wincing at the feeling Nikki's cum about to start running out of me.

My face is bright red and Tommy looks like he's about to cry.

"I came out here to tell you 'bye' and-and..." he can't finish speaking, disgust on his face.

"Nikki was telling you 'bye', too." Vince laughs out and I glare at him.

"I'm sorry we fool around, T-bone, jeez." Nikki chuckles.

"'Fooling around' is a blowjob. This," he grabs his own throat and pulls his own hair. "Is something I don't want to see Viv in."

"She's the one who's into it." Nikki argues and my eyes bug as I feel even more embarrassed.

"Nikki, what the hell?!" I ask him as Tommy looks even more worried.

"Aww, man, this is great." Vince sighs out, grinning.

"Viv, I love you, I'll see you in a few days." Tommy let's out, avoiding eye contact with me.

I don't want to face him at the moment either.

"Love you, Tommy, bye." I reply as he heads to their car that just pulled up.

I grab the tape from the ground and my panties, and Nikki takes the skimpy undergarment from my hand and puts it in his jacket pocket.

I just look at him.

"What?" He asks. "It's a token of your affection to remind me of you when I miss you on those cold, lonely nights."

"You'll be gone less than a week, Nikki."

"You want me to think of you or not?" He points out and I can't hide my smile, chuckling at his bullshit.

His eyes shift to the tape in my hand, and his face falls for a second as if he regrets giving it to me.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, um...just...don't take lyrics too seriously." He tells me and I raise my brows.

"What?"

The car honks the horn and he looks at them as Tommy's standing out of the sunroof.

"Dude, c'mon, we're gonna miss the flight!" He tells Nikki.

Nikki turns back to me, giving me a little smile, kissing me sweetly.

"I'll call you when we get to the hotel." He assures me, kissing me again.

"Okay, be careful." I say.

"I'm sorry, Viv, alright?" He says next, and I think he's apologizing for the "Wild Side" ordeal and buying a new car we could barely afford.

I'm about to say "I am, too" but he cuts me off, kissing me yet again.

"See ya, Sixx." He whispers, smirking to me.

"See ya, Sixx." I reply in the same tone.

With one last kiss, he's telling Vince 'bye' and making his way to the car.

I rub my lips together, noticing Vince has this amused look on his face as I step to my car.

"What, Vince?" I ask.

"Nothing. Enjoy the song." He tells me before walking to his bike.

I go home, clean myself up, change and head to the Franklin Plaza where Duff, Axl, Izzy, Slash and Steven are staying currently.

The second Steven opens the door, I'm waving the tape.

"He doesn't hate me!" I exclaim, handing the tape to Axl--who bet $50 that Nikki and I would divorce this year--as he's smoking his cigarette.

"'You're All I Need'." He reads the title, looking at Duff and Izzy who're on one of the suits' couches. "What, is it an ode to heroin?" He asks and I cut my eyes at him.

"Seriously, man?" Slash questions him, unamused.

"No, Axl, it's not." I state.

"Well, let's listen to it." Stevie excitedly says.

Soon enough we have it playing, hearing a beautiful piano ballad backed with Mick's guitar, Nikki's bass and Tommy's drums.

"The blade of my knife

Faced away from your heart

Those last few nights

It turned and sliced you apart

This love that I tell

Now feels lonely as hell

From this padded prison cell"

The lyrics of the first verse sound as with each passing second, everyone's looking more and more confused, glancing at each other while I try to make sense of whatever metaphor he's using.

"So many times I said

You'd only be mine

I gave my blood and my tears

And loved you cyanide

When you took my lips

I took your breath

Sometimes love's better off dead"

He can't be saying what it sounds like he's saying.

"You're all I need make you only mine

I love you so I set you free

I had to take your life

You're all I need, you're all I need

And I loved you but you didn't love me."

"Umm...Viv...I don't think this is about how much he loves you." Izzy speaks out.

"Laid out cold

Now we're both alone

But killing you helped me keep you home."

"I-Is he singing about killing me?!" I ask, nearly at a loss for words.

"I guess it was bad

Cause love can be sad

But we finally make the news."

"This bastard is singing about killing me!"

"Dude, didn't he actually try to kill you?" Steven asks me and I raise my brows.

"Tied up smiling

I thought you were happy

Never opened you--"

Duff stops the tape, snatching it from the player before tossing it on the floor and stomping it to pieces with his cowboy boot.

There's a long, long silence between all of us, and I force myself not to cry in front of all of them.

"I guess that fifty bucks is still on the table, then?" Axl shatters the silence.

#nikki sixx #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction #mötley crüe #gateway drug

88 notes · View notes