#fun fact no. 1 - I made it with my old childhood markers that are more than 10 years old and still working somehow

[tereferka]

Starry Starry Night in the Elysium

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based on Vincent van Gogh's "Starry Night" (1889) of course Please click for the better quality!

[numinous-queer]

I’m in my late twenties and I’m only now coming into terms with the fact that I’m trans masculine. I’ve been a longtime follower of yours under different tumblr names, but seeing you thrive has always made me happy. Thank you.

son, you're in a very exciting time in your life.

You've been given a gift that not many cis people get - the opportunity to build yourself from the ground-up in a very thoughtful and intentional way. It may feel like this "gift" is a particularly rank shit sandwich some days, and like it's an insult to refer to something that makes your life so difficult in positive terms. But I've learned that sometimes you have to repeatedly choose to reframe something and reintegrate it into yourself.

You're going to be doing a lot of that - revisiting old memories and ways of being and seeing them with more clarity and self-understanding. Don't worry if everything doesn't resolve itself into a coherent narrative immediately! Like a teen who's throwing paint at the walls to see what sticks, there's some frenzied pressure to figure yourself out immediately and project a very polished camera-ready version of yourself right away. You don’t need to know who you are from day 1. It is normal and okay to try on different versions of ourselves! This is particularly fraught for trans people, who may feel a pressure to broadcast to all our family and friends how extremely OK and SUPER CHILL this big new fact about us is. It often feels like we are skipping a bunch of steps, life markers from childhood that it’s harmless to indulge in. One fun way to "test out" new names for ourselves is to recreate kid experiences like writing your name in big bubble letters on the sidewalk with chalk or looking at fun keychains with your name... chasing any experience that gives you a sense of joy. Gender euphoria is real, and you need to orient yourself towards whatever gives you a sense of peace and wholeness. Yes, some of transitioning is setting down those things that no longer serve us, but it is good to remember to move forward as well.

Take heart that you come from a long line of strength, from Alan Hart to Jack Bee Garland to Willmer "Little Ax" Broadnax to Billy Tipton to Charley Parkhurst to Lou Sullivan. Our knowledge is historied and long; let their momentum carry you forward. I highly recommend bell hooks’s work, The Will To Change, which was powerful for me in considering my relationship to masculinity. I was also very impacted by The Nearest Exist May Be Behind You by Bear Bergman. Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg is also a classic for a reason. If you are looking for a day-to-day experiential discussion of HRT, Max Valerio’s Testosterone Files are invaluable. I’ve also been excited to read the second edition of Becoming a Visible Man by Jamison Green. You have this opportunity to be intentional in your gender and your way of interacting with the world. Use it to be a good human being!

[thatmiddle]

Top 10 Albums that Shaped my Existence

How do I put this lightly, I believe listening to music matters as much as breathing. I know that is hyperbolic, but I don’t care. It can fuel your soul in a similar way that air fuels your body to move. It brings to life moments, places, and people. That’s probably why if you listen closely music is everywhere. It’s in the steel drums at Union subway station or the clarinet player at Yonge and Dundas Square. It’s is found from a broken guitar with unclipped strings in Kensington Market to a radio blasting out of an open window. It’s heard from the lake on a cool breezy summer night. It’s made by the leaves in the trees and the creatures roaming its branches. Music is inescapable.

Music is also a lot cheaper than therapy and for most, it is incredibly accessible. In saying that I do not mean to conflate therapy to music, but I do think there is a healing power to songs. This form of artistic expression has been with me during my brightest minutes and my darkest hours. I have relied on it like Aladdin did his magic carpet; it lift me up and took me to places I never thought I’d ever go. All I have to do was turn it on, tune in and drop out, as some would say.

During this pandemic I have leaned heavily into music, it is the perfect socially distanced escape. During this time that I have also gone back to old albums and reflected on how they influenced me and shape who I am today.

In Rainbows - Radiohead

If I had owned this album in an analogue form I would have destroyed it by overplaying it in my Discman. Radiohead is a wonderful band that have made wonderful albums but for some reason, this is the particular one I return to. To me, In Rainbows is the music I heard when I realized that I wanted to take my life in a different more creative direction than that of my peers. In Rainbows is the album I heard on carpool rides to Shakespeare Camp as a young girl. In Rainbows is what played in my head the first time I walked into Kensington Market as a young naive suburban girl. The music is so diverse with its sound but creates a distinctly modern tone. I find the music runs like a stream and cascades into fountains of sound I never expected. All the songs are beautiful but my favourite from the album has always been House of Cards.

Brothers - The Black Keys

If In Rainbows was an early marker of my youth, Brothers by The Black Keys established my teenage self and heavily moulded how I carried myself into my early twenties. With the raunchy guitar, hard drums and vocals somewhere between garage rock and blues, this album stimulated every part of my life. It is one of those albums that upon listening to the first fifteen seconds of the opening track Everlasting Light, I am immediately taken back to driving around in Toronto suburbs and getting into trouble. This album started my ongoing obsession with The Black Keys. Fun fact I named my first Tumblr blog off of a misreading a song lyric in the track The Only One, which also happens to be one of my favourite tracks on the album. I’ve tried to see The Black Keys live twice and both times I was unable to attend the concert. One day I will see them.

Revolver - The Beatles

There are a lot of Beatles albums I love and I wouldn’t say this is my favourite of theirs, but it is I would argue its one of their more underrated albums. From what I have gathered about Beatles fans (having been one since I was six years old), this choice isn’t mutually exclusive. It does however seem that established fans love either Rubber Soul or Revolver. For me, I choose the latter. This album is very experimental for the band as they were still coming out of their admired boy band era. I came to this album as a young girl whenever I played with my toys in the living room of my childhood home. I always heard a Beatles album playing in the background and when Revolver came on I was elated. My toys went on new adventures, met new people and told new stories. The Beatles have always brought out the creativity in me and I’m very grateful for that. Check out the song I’m Only Sleeping, it’s so meditative and my most replayed track.

Man on the Moon: The End of Day - Kid Cudi

I wasn’t in a good place when I was fortunate enough to be introduced to this album as being a teenager can be an incredibly difficult experience. Yet upon hearing this album I was pleasantly surprised, I never expected to find that catharsis in a young American rapper named Kid Cudi. I always liked some rap and hip-hip songs (don’t ever get me started on the importance of Sean Paul), but foolishly enough I never gave a full album or artist the chance. Man on the Moon found me at the right moment. This album’s production is so complex and crosses genres in ways I never expected; it leaves me wanting more every time. Kid Cudi hip-hop is different, Kid Cudi hip-hop goes deep and feels it. While Day ‘N’ Nite is one of the most recognizable songs on the album don’t sleep on Heart of a Lion, it’s beautiful.

For Emma, Forever Ago - Bon Iver

Like many teens in the mid-2000s, I made a Tumblr account. It was a great place filled with hormone-induced rage posts, images of skinny girls ripped from the website We Heart It, and boundless creativity. As a previous webpage creator hailing from the Geocities days, site creation was not new to me. I took up a URL and got to work. During this time I leaned deeper into the ‘indie girl’ aesthetic, which is where I found Bon Iver. Bon Iver’s music is soft and melodic and his guitar strums could whisk you away on a cloud. For Emma, Forever Ago was the soundtrack to the version of me who longed for combat boots, a-line skirts from American Apparel, and a cute hipster boyfriend to take me away from all my problems. I never got everything I wanted, but I was always able to sit in deep thought and listen to this album and for that, I’m incredibly grateful. The Wolves (Act I and II) is one of my favourite tracks off the album, I love the crescendo towards the end of the song it makes me want to release any bad feelings I have through some strong movement.

Is this it - The Strokes

I don’t remember when I first heard this album, I just know it was an unofficial anthem to my early twenties. Was it playing at that frat party? Or maybe it was at the live show in that bar one time. Is This It is the perfect album for starting out in a new place with dreams and about $20 to your name. This album is made for people entering young adulthood making mistakes and living for the moment. Garage rock is such an underrated genre, but perhaps that’s the suburban girl in me speaking. I want to dance every time I hear a track of this perfectly crafted experience. I hear those guitar riffs and I am taken back to running through Toronto at midnight with friends. Is This It is unapologetic and an outstanding debut album for The Strokes and cemented their status as indie rock legends, I don’t care what anyone says. There are a lot of amazing songs to recommend but I will try and spice things up. Last Nite and the title track Is This It are obvious choices but the bop you need to listen to is Someday.

Wish you were here - Pink Floyd

Everyone has to listen to Pink Floyd in university otherwise they never went…right? Pink Floyd always felt like a right of passage that I would eventually reach although I did cheat and wear a Dark Side of The Moon cropped t-shirt I got from HMV in high school just to seem cool. It wasn’t until first-year university I fell in love with the song Wish You Were Here. I’m sure I was just feeling nostalgic after moving out of my suburban bubble and into the big city for the first time. Nevertheless, after annoying my new roommates by listening to that song on repeat in my bedroom I decided to give the rest of the album a shot and immediately fell in l love. It is a short ride but an emotional journey. I thought I had felt everything I needed to feel at 21, then I heard Shine On You Crazy Diamond (Pts 1-5). If you were living under a rock and haven’t heard this album I recommend it. And do check out that track.

good kid m.A.A.d city - Kendrick Lamar

Swimming Pools was everywhere in 2012, it was synonymous with the nightlife which was surprising given its lyrics. Good kid MAAD city takes the ideas explored in Swimming Pools and expands them into a full universe. As soon as I turned on the first song I felt like I had been lifted from my cold Canadian home and into the chaotic Compton of Kendrick Lamar’s universe. This concept album has such depth I feel I learnt more than I would have ever expected. I love the way the album weaves recorded scenes with various characters and the music, it creates such a vivid picture as you listen through the whole piece. I felt deep sympathy towards the struggles told on the record in ways I never thought I would. Good kid m.A.A.d city is a great ride from start to finish without ever skipping a single track, but if you had to speed up to a gem I highly recommend the track Money Trees.

channel Orange - Frank Ocean

I was originally introduced to Frank Ocean through his work with Odd Future or as I proudly scribbled everywhere, OFWGKTA. Frank Ocean was always the quiet R&B guy from the group that I never thought I would have known much about but early 2013 rolled around all that changed. An old friend of mine had pointed me in the direction of new work by the musician and I ran towards the sound immediately. Frank’s voice is mesmerizing and he mixes sounds in ways I would never expect. His lyrics are dark and deep. This album got me through a lot of mixed emotions I started to experience as I worked my way through my undergrad. Frank understood what it meant to feel and I connected deeply with that. Pink Matter was the soundtrack to my life, I listened to it on repeat doing just about every task I could imagine.

House of Balloons - The Weeknd

I remember Toronto the year that The Weeknd released his first mixtapes. He was just an enigma floating through the city, no one could pin him down. I am one hundred percent one of the people who got their hands on the YouTube videos early and saved them immediately to my accounts. I wanted more and I didn’t know why. He captured a sound that still exists here today, it was dark and full of mystery. As soon as I got my hands on the first mixtape I popped that baby into my iPod and played it so much practically the full album made it to my ‘Top 25 Playlist’ on the device. I am obsessed with The Weeknd’s voice and as someone from Etobicoke, I am even more obsessed with the fact that he’s from Scarborough. He sounds like home to me and I will never be able to let that go. When I play this album (which is at least once every year I’ll have you know), I feel sure about who I am and where I come from. It’s not an explicit attitude to being from Toronto, but rather a feeling that you can carry throughout everything you do. The Weeknd carries that on a world stage and I am proud to say he is a Toronto native. Every song on the album is amazing and I say listen to them all, but do make sure you pay special attention to Loft Music. Nothing spells nightlife in Toronto more than at least one party in a condo or loft by Lake Ontario. I was actually asked to go to a late-night loft party by a random man at a Chinese restaurant one time so I can vouch for this happening in the city. Clearly, Abel knew what he was talking about.

Music is one of the most important things in my life. It is like a fuel I use to keep my motor moving. I find it anywhere and everywhere. I rely on it so much it has been the godsend I didn’t realize I needed during a pandemic. I think I am starting to understand why movies from the 1930s were so much about escapism; drifting off into another world during a difficult time can feel like magic.

What are 10 albums that shaped who you are? Let me know in the comments.

[jeidafei]

D.Gray-Man Chapter 231 Translation Notes

Hi DGMers! jeidafei from Kougeki Scans here. I’m a total newbie to scanlation and I’ve never made my own note before. However, I’ve read all THREE versions of the DGM translation for reference, (This just goes to show this fandom’s undying love for the subject matter) and noticed some discrepancies between scan groups...

Not to say who is wrong or right, as translators are also humans (unless AI got over its Google Translate phase and take over our jobs someday!) with different experiences and backgrounds, and as such there is no such thing as right or wrong in a translation. 

So, in addition to my translation, I would also like to give readers the opportunity to interpret things freely without the language barrier as well, and maybe share some of my knowledge regarding Japan and the Japanese language accumulated from over a decade of learning Japanese (mostly through D.Gray-Man and Ghibli animes XD) and around three years of living, studying and working full-time in Japan.

1. “生々流転” (seiseiruten or shoujouruten)

The cover art is mind-blowingly beautiful this time. So much so that I’ve been secretly wondering whether Hoshino-sensei spent even more time on the cover than the actual content itself and that’s why we have 20 instead of, like, 40 pages.

Anyway, it also gives us this little conundrum...

@panthaleia has already done a marvelous analysis here and you should check it out! so I won’t be going into details much; I would just like to give you a definition and leave it to your imagination. I admit I’m pretty much stumped by this as it isn’t clear what exactly Hoshino-sensei is referring to by this concept.

Japanese culture and language takes heavy influence from Chinese since ancient times, and there are plenty of these four-letter Chinese idioms in daily use, called 四字熟語 (Yojijukugo), some of which can be challenging for non-native learnersーand even the Japanese themselvesーto fully grasp its concept, considering the wealth of yojijukugo-themed dictionaries and games published in Japan. 

The Japanese definition of 生々流転 goes as follows:

すべての物は絶えず生まれては変化し、移り変わっていくこと。▽「生生」は物が次々と生まれ育つこと。「流転」は物事が止まることなく移り変わっていく意。「生生」は「しょうじょう」とも読む。 (source)

A compilative translation of the above and other versions in the source would be nothing is unchanging; all existence is born, constantly changes (and dies) in a cycle that repeats itself endlessly. The emphasis seems to be put on the term of “constant change” and the “neverending cycle” of all existence, rather than the birth and death of living beings, however, and thus I believe my own and Mangastream’s translation of it as “Circle of Life” may not be comprehensive of what Hoshino-sensei is trying to convey. 

In my opinion, it could either be interpreted literally to mean the cycle and flow of energy and soul-force that Past!Allen had mentioned to Nea all those years ago, or considering the plot of the current chapter it can also refer to the story coming full circle and returning to the point of its birth, by taking Allen back to Eddystone...Edinston...Edinburgh...Edinsーargh dammit I give upーwhere his story began with his meeting with Mana Walker.

Speaking of which...

2. The Town Where Allen Began

Mangastream called it Eddingston. Starbuds called it Edinston. The D.Gray Wikia adopted Edinstown and that’s what I decided to go with for now. 

However, the actual Japanese text is  エディンストン, phonetically E-din-su-ton. Thus, the most phonetically accurate would probably be Starbuds’ Edinston. Edinstown can be transliterated back into Japanese as エディンスタウン, whereas Eddingston would probably be エッディングストン to the Japanese folk (I’ve highlighted the difference in spelling).

There you go! Now y’all can call it whichever way you want! 

3. Why is Allen so alarmed?

Right after Mana said that he draws all those little “I am here”s like a street graffiti punk so God would be able to find him, Allen looked as if he had recalled something significant. Seeing as Allen is about to tell the tale of his beginnings, this would probably be clarified in the next chapter. However, in my opinion, Mana saying “so he would be able to find me” is reminiscent of this sentence back in Reverse: Lost Fragment of Snow:

Back when he still remembers Nea and his purpose of searching for him, Mana was taking every measure to make sure Nea recognizes him, as he now looks different from his 17-year-old self. Sure, Mana might actually be referring to God this time as he said it; we’d never know until the next chapter at the least, but the memory of Mana’s words back at the circus must have been what shook Allen to the core.

4.  はじまり 

The term はじまり (hajimari) or “the beginning” seems to be the central theme in this chapter; appearing on the cover page, the first page and the last page of last chapter, emphasizing the fact that both Allen and the plot has now come full circle and returned to where “Allen” began. 

This cliffhanger freaks me out though, as I couldn’t see how Hoshino-sensei could tell Allen’s story without repeating Reverse: Lost Fragment of Snow, as that is stated to be the story of how Allen came to be:

Anyway, my fear and frustration of waiting-six-months-for-new-developments aside, hajimari is a very popular to the point of cliched concept in Japan, in my opinion. If you go to karaoke in Japan and type in hajimari in the machine, it would come up with a SH*T TON of songs containing hajimari in the song name, with hajimari no uta (The song of beginnings) and hajimari no basho (The place where it all began, which is also mentioned in this chapter) being some of the most repetitive. 

As much as the cherry blossoms are a symbol of Japanese culture, the Japanese people themselves regard the month when the cherry blossoms bloom, April, and the season of Spring, as the marker of new beginnings, of significant turning points in life. The start of school term, start of fiscal year, start of working life and end of childhood, Your Lie in April , etc. all happen in April. 

This phenomenon is especially remarkable in Japan. Being the country of uniformity, virtually every school and workplace throughout the country would start their activities in April. 

In my experience, Japanese aesthetics revolve around the changing seasons and times a lot, and countless pop songs that are released around March-April would sing of the blooming cherry blossoms swaying to the wind and new beginnings for students graduating from high school or university. In the same manner, songs coming out in Winter would feature slower melodies and the distinctive, ringing, Christmas-ey chime from the likes of music boxes, glockenspiels, triangles or celestas, and songs released in Summer would usually be quicker, livelier with lyrics retelling a fun trip to the beach, firework shows and sunshine (－and bikinis, if you’re listening to AKB48!).

To someone who came from a tropical country with three pretty much indistinguishable, unpleasant seasons (Damn-you-Summer, Damn-you-Summer-with-Rain-and-Floods and Damn-you-Summer-with-Three-Days-of-Winter), the beauty of the Japanese seasons and how the Japanese culture and lifestyle intertwine so closely with it has always fascinated and charmed me.

5. The Gratitude Dilemma

In addition to the seiseiruten conundrum, this chapter also throws up some more challenges for translators. One notable example for me being how to accurately capture the essence of this panel:

Both Starbuds and Mangastream worded this bubble very differently, and I won’t say who is the most accurate, but I will explain my choice of wording the best I can (with a few tips to weary Japanese learners along the way, hopefully). The actual Japanese raw is below:

My atrocious highlighting skills aside, we can clearly see the emphasis given to the suffix てあげよう (te-ageyou) here. 

Allen didn’t say it straight out that he’s pitying Kanda or the like, but he’s using the te-ageru form, which means “ [doing something] for your sake” . 

The concept of gratitude is important in a strict, seniority-based society like Japan, and accordingly there are two verb suffixes just to show gratitude: when someone else does a favor for us: te-kureru, and when we receive a favor from someone else: te-morau. 

Yes, there’s a difference. And this is one of the most troublesome head-scratchers and trick-question-subjects for intermediate learners of Japanese taking the JLPT test (and translators of Japanese songs and manga as well), as to make things worse the Japanese usually omits the subject and/or object of the sentence. 

My tip for making sense of this is for te-kureru, the other person must be the subject of the sentence, whereas for te-morau, I/me must be the subject.

Starting to see now why so many of my classmates gave up on Japanese and why so many anime subs/manga translations are sometimes inaccurate? 

We also get another instance here:

(watashi ha kami ni) mitsukete-moraeru you ni would literally mean something along the lines of so (I) could be found by (God) for my sake. I put parentheses here to show you how both the subject and object of this sentence is omitted, and why we must be extremely careful in cases when it is less clear than this who is doing what for whom. To learners, you MUST pay attention to the conjunctions. 

For the sake of convenience and more natural speech I just used so God would be able to find me. 

Back to Black Allen, te-ageru or its more casual/demeaning form te-yaru, on the other hand, is used for when we’re doing a favor for someone’s sake and should be used sparingly/carefully to people of the same status or lower, as it could sound patronizing depending on context. So Allen using it to Kanda is meant to be very cheeky and infuriating, as if he’s trying to emphasize that his giving up is more out of pity/sympathy for Kanda’s hapless persistence than his own being tired of or incapable of escaping.

Because in reality it is just as he personally admitted in the earlier page: he’s got no money and cannot elude the Order without Kanda’s help, and decided to just twiddle his thumbs and wait around for now. 

But food and a man’s pride are everything to Allen...

That’s all for now. I hope you enjoyed our translations. See you in three months, fellow DGMers! 

[lovecharlottedupont]

Growing Up in the South & Selling Lemonade

What I loved about being a child in the South was that we played outdoors all the time. Playing Atari games was a real treat, but most of our days were spent running around the neighborhood, riding our bikes, and exploring the woods. I had one of those idyllic childhoods where I would get home at three o’clock, throw down my backpack, and run outside with my brother to join the neighborhood kids for games of jump rope and imagination.

Kids ran to one another’s houses, shared one another’s homes. There weren’t a lot of rules, boundaries, or playdates. No one scheduled us. I learned about social dynamics by having to get along with whatever bunch of random children happened to be outside on any given day. I also learned how to turn down boys' affections.

In the evening, whenever our folks left the house, my brother and I would go on a mission to eat all the sweets we could find. Eli was the family spy. He always managed to see where my mom hid the best treats, and the minute the adults departed, we would find the stash. He would drag the big kitchen stool next to the fridge and climb up to get to Mom’s “hidden” stash of M&M’s or MoonPies. Joy was staying up past our bedtime, watching cartoons, hiding the empty candy bags behind the sofa cushions.

At the same time, we were expected to clean up nicely and to have impeccable manners in polite society.

We were taught to look people in the eye and to say hello and smile. Smiling at people is a big part of life in the South. If a child does not wave back at someone walking down the street, don’t be surprised if the adult says, “Excuse me, little one. Where are your manners?”

Good manners take very little effort. It’s not that hard to smile. My mother likes to say, “Smiles are contagious.” Try smiling at people you don’t even know for a day. Even if you’re not in Tara, most of them will smile back at you. It really does make a difference. Those little daily kindnesses, they can really change the mood of a block, a neighborhood, a city. My mother made sure we knew it was a necessity to be extra-nice to people doing the hard jobs that make other people more comfortable, like waiters, salespeople, and hotel workers. I love the way Big Papa is with people at a restaurant—in fact, I always observe how people act with waiters. It says a lot.

I sometimes meet hundreds of new people a week, because of the travel I do for work. I think there’s something really great about learning to look people in the eye, to introduce yourself, to be respectful, to take care of other people’s property. We always say in the South that good manners are a kind of passport. If you have good manners, you can go everywhere and people are glad to have you around.

We were taught manners by example. The older women in our families were unflappably polite. Southern women are strong and outspoken but also beautifully composed and always present their best selves to the world. They believe in character and the presentation of that character. They aren’t afraid to tell you how they really feel.

Someone once told me they thought people in the South were passive-aggressive in their politeness. Certainly not! In my experience, a southern woman will tell you right to your face if she doesn’t like something. If my mother or grandmother wasn’t pleased with my behavior, she’d say, “I don’t like that. The way you’re behaving is ugly. I don’t like when children behave ugly.” I feared their disapproval, and one pointed look from either of them could terrify me. Getting a “Stop acting ugly” was just the worst! I hated disappointing my grandma or my mother.

But they also taught me to strive for behavior that was beautiful. And in my mother’s and grandmother’s eyes, what was beautiful was treating others with respect and putting your best foot forward. Taking care of your community was beautiful, as was doing nice things for others. My grandma always said, “Pretty is as pretty does.” People aren’t pretty if they act ugly.

One time my grandma caught me chewing gum. She said, “The only appropriate place to chew gum is behind a door.” One time I really wanted to chew gum, so I went behind the door to do it, just to prove a point. But it made me realize that some people think it’s rude to chew gum around them. I like gum. But I was able to see my grandmother’s perspective: there is a time and a place for chewing gum, because, let’s just face it, it can be a little gross watching other people chew.

One other thing the South gave me as a child was a good work ethic. I had two business ventures as a young person, and both taught me lessons that I still put into practice today.

The first was a lemonade stand. I think a lemonade stand is a really good way for kids to learn about business. My brother and I took it very seriously. We would fill one of my mom’s huge tea pitchers with ice-cold lemonade and set up our table with paper cups, napkins, and a Mason jar to hold our money.

Eli and I always fought about pricing. He is four years older and thought we should be charging more than I thought we should. We would compromise on a quarter a cup, because we could take those quarters straight to the arcade afterward.

Creating the sign for the lemonade stand was my favorite part. Give me markers and some poster board, and I’m in my element. I also liked innovating: I’d find ways for our stand to be special, such as putting mint leaves in each cup, or having both iced tea and lemonade so people could create their own Arnold Palmer.

Being the loudmouth of the family, I was also the designated barker. I would flag down cars and harangue people into extra cups (“Doesn’t your husband want a cup, too?”). My brother and I developed quite a reputation on our block for running a tidy business.

Our second venture was our more innovative by far. It all began in third grade with some hair clips. I spotted them at the mall. They were very cool and just fifty cents apiece, and they were glimmering with potential. I had my brother front me some money as an investment, so I could get a lot of them and some paint pens.

I wrote my name with paint pen on the barrettes, wore them to school, and waited for other girls to notice. It didn’t take long. Soon they started asking me if I’d make them barrettes. Sure, I would: for $2. They would meet me at my desk before or after school, and in bubble letters I’d write their name or a chosen slogan in paint pen for a markup of $1.50. The orders poured in. It became like a status symbol: everybody had to have a hair clip. And so began my first real triumph in the entrepreneurial space.

I learned a lot of principles of business that way. I learned about pricing, and that margins are important. I learned that the customer is always right. If she didn’t like the writing, I had to redo it and absorb the cost of the one that she didn’t like. I learned that marketing is everything.

But I flew too close to the sun. I spent more time on my barrette business than on schoolwork, became a distraction to the girls around me, and got paint pen all over my desk. As a result, I got into a lot of trouble and my business was shut down by my third-grade teacher. Ah, the hazards of an elementary school start-up . . .

In both the lemonade-stand and barrette businesses, I loved learning about how business works. I was fascinated with the idea of turning a profit. I wasn’t afraid of hard work, and I liked engaging the market. It made me understand supply and demand. Also, I did like making enough cash to maintain my very expensive sticker collection.

The main thing I learned from all my entrepreneurial success was that working with my brother on the funding for the hair clip venture or on selling lemonade made those things more fun. To this day, it’s important to me to really enjoy the people I work with. That’s another thing that I learned way back in elementary school: Don’t go into business with people you don’t like, because you never know whether or not you’ll be successful in the end, so it’s important to enjoy the journey.

These days I don't start a venture with people I’m not ready to spend a lot of time with, because, let’s face it, if work is fun, it doesn’t feel like work. I feel like I’m putting on an old pair of slippers that fit just right.”

Lemonade-Stand Lemonade

12 lemons

1 cup sugar

6 cups cold water

1. Finely grate the zest of two of the lemons. Place the zest and sugar into a small saucepan with one cup of the water. Bring to a boil over high heat and reduce to a simmer. Stir until the sugar dissolves. Remove from heat and let stand for 10 minutes.

2. While the sugar syrup cools, juice the lemons (you should have about 1 cup fresh lemon juice). Place the juice in a gallon-sized jar. Pour the cooled syrup into the jar through a mesh strainer. Discard the solids. Pour the cold water into the jar and top with a tight-fitting lid. Shake well to combine. Chill until ready to use. Serve over ice. Adjust the sugar to sweeten to your liking.

[y2kmini]

Mental issues aren't a white people thing!

(Trigger warning. I dont know which triggers are in here but i know there are at least two: possibly crengy phrases concerning mental health and suicide. I’ve tagged everything as well as I can to keep it away from people that don’t want or need to see this post).

I already feel like this phrase is going to make some one cringe and I’m so sorry, I dont know what they call mental issues on tumblr im just using the term because thats what they called it when refering to me growing up.

If your kid is having an oddly hard time with something that kids normally do with ease at a usual age for it, and youre concerned, and theyre frustrated, there is NO HARM in having them checked out or tested to see what’s going on!

I couldn’t tell you how frustrating my childhood was because my family was lead to believe that dyslexia, a.d.d, and anxiety were white people things that they didn’t have to worry about.

Even my step dad goes on about how “the teachers just like to pick on kids, theirs nothing wrong with them they’re just different ”

1 having mental issues doesn’t mean something is wrong with your kid okay. It just means they think or react in ways different than others. It doesn’t mean they can’t live an average life like every other person.

2 the teachers aren’t picking on your kid. They see your kid is having a hard time and they’ve tryed and failed to help sooooo they’re just suggesting that you seek a professional to see what’s going on. Once you know what’s going on (if anything is going on) that knowledge will help you help your kid learn and understand things better.

3 having mental ISSUSE doesn’t mean your kid is inherently dangerous or without morals or possessed by some demon. They just function differently, they’re still human, they’re still kids, and they still need your love so please don’t make things weird for them.

4 “dissapline” won’t train the mental issue out of your child! It’s not a thing that can be done. If you’ve heard stories that it can then you needed to speak less to Google and more to an actual Doctor.

My mom died thinking I was magically cured of my attention deficit disorder and dyslexia, my dad died thinking I’d grown out of it, good old grandma thought non of that stuff existed in black children, and none of them believed I had anxiety because pffft! Kids don’t have anxiety! They play all day and don’t have jobs or bills!

I love my Dad and my grandmother dearly, I’m not trying to bash them or claim that they were awefull because they did do right by me the best they knew how. I’m just saying their views on the subject matter were ignorant.

I never grew out of those things. As I grew I developed my own way of doing things to help me get by, people called it being quirky and thought it was cute (or sometimes vaugly creepy) but it was just my formula for getting the same results as other kids.

Moving into adulthood I started looking up my issuse online AND talking to doctors (even my drill sergeant helped me through some things) the result was me understanding my own weaknesses and making them my strengths.

My a.d.d made it hard for me to focus and re member things so to this day I right everything down, then I rewrite my notes at least 3x’s. Do I remember things better … a little, but the importaint thing is I’m pretty decent and interested in puzzles so when I try to recall something I can write out bits and pieces of my notes and put them together untill I have the whole thing in front of me again. Remembering things that don’t interest me is still really difficult and tear jerking for me even when im dedicated to giving it my full attintion so making it a puzzle, making it a song, making it a picture, “making it fun” is the only way I get by. It’s my tool for conquering the issue and I’m proud to have figured it out for myself.

The dyslexia though. After reading about it I just got into the habit of telling my self things when I started to get upset like:

“Read it over again, it’s okay. We know that of out of aaaallll the characters in Harry Potter that Ron is less likely to speak with numbers in his words unless he’s been cursed”

“No matter how early in the morning, no matter what the year: YOUR clock will always read you the time with NUMBERS not 2s, backwards Es, upside down hs, and S, G, up side down Lake, B …” you get the point.

I still had to tell myself that to get by in college because the number problems would look sooooooooo much like a fucking message to me that one day after class I took a marker and wrote what I saw right beside it and my teacher laughed because he understood and then stopped laughing … because he understood.

The anxiety… I’ve learned on social media and in therapy that there are ALOT of ways to live with it and that it doesn’t typically go away. I tryed to kill my self over it (thank you to the good Samaritan that swam out to get me and didn’t call the police on me). After that experience I became really depressed because the attempt was terrofying and I had lost the nerve to do it again. So as I lived on bitter and irritated that I was only alive because I was afraid of the pain and distress of suicide I found a new friend, then I found a hand full of them, and they made me feel loved and normal, and accepted.

I want to say I was cured but I wasn’t. I had less anxiety but it was still there telling me that:

My friends only hung out with me because they felt bad

You’re so self absorbed and people hate you for it

Why would anyone want to date you? Your ugly and gross and can’t even human properly.

Your hair is disgusting no matter what you do to it it looks ugly on you

Every one knows you hate yourself, they’re just waiting for you to be polite and GOAWAY, no one wants you here!

I still hear anxiety telling me these things and it still hurts, but the difference is:

when I was a kid my anxieties were like a knowledgeable adult looking down at me and stating facts

But after lots of self coaching in the mirror, lucid dreaming, and crappy self insert fanfiction… as an adult I now see my anxieties as a toddler that knows little to nothing about me or the world around them shouting their very first insults and obscenities at me (believe it or not I even laugh about it on occasion because I’m fucking sick). It hurts, but the pain has gone from a ten to a four in roughly 30 years (that’s like giving birth verses stepping on a Lego to me).

Could I have developed these coping habits earlier if my family had acknowledged I needed help? It’s likely, but since they thought it was a white kid problem I didn’t get any real help untill college when I took it upon my self to call the therapy number they gave every one and occasionally the suicide hotline.

In conclusion to this messy rant If your kid is having trouble with things and they don’t seem to be developing at the same rate as the class it’s okay to have them evaluated. Nothing is wrong with them they may just need some tools to keep up in life. Not having the tools they might need could someday me harmful to their mental, emotional, and or physical help so PLEASE don’t gamble with your kids life over pride or disbelief.

[paintball-gun-review-blog]

The principle creators of the game were Bob Gurnsey, a sporting goods merchant, Hayes Noel, a stockbroker and Charles Gaines

Dime, Steven "Paintball Vs Airsoft - Advantages and disadvantages of every." Paintball Vs Airsoft - Benefits and drawbacks of Each. My own favourite guns are airsoft sniper rifles that deliver great accuracy and long range. Because of the fact that there is nothing to spill and clog the gun, airsoft guns can also be powered by a springtime.

Airsoft guns shoot with little plastic pellets which in size are up to 8 mm in diameter. Paintball guns use compressed gas to shoot and this gives the shot more than enough power for an extended range. Paintball Vs Airsoft - Pros and Cons of Each.

Twelve months later, the "DC Cup", organized by NPPL was aired go on ESPN from Washington D.C. Since 1996; paintball became the third most popular severe sport in the globe with organized tournaments in a lot more than 60 countries world-wide. Also during the course of 1983, in Toronto, Canada a patio paintball field was opened up to the delight of the people living there. Displaying 1 - 20 Sports activities Articles.

An excellent party favor could be a T-shirt or sports memorabilia from the night. Pay for the boys to participate in a paintball or laser tag party. A relay circuit of three to six funny games, including balloon volleyball and plastic material bottle bowling, will end up being enjoyable.

Many tactical shotgun barrels are between 18-20 ins, as 18 ins is approximately the shortest you can go while maintaining precision (shotguns don't spread as much as some people believe, you still have to be accurate when firing. When most people talk about tactical shotguns, they are usually speaking in the context of house defense. Blowguns are developing in recognition for hunting and sport.

Blowguns have change small over time. Blowguns offer hours of recreational fun but often follow safety rules. Party rooms are available in many public areas, including restaurants, bars, clubs, casinos, bowling alleys, amusement parks, go-kart tracks, skating rinks and paintball arenas.

Choose a dynamic and adventurous activity, such as for example kayaking, climbing or playing paint ball. The 9x32 scope incorporated with this package is an extended range sniper scope and will target objects much farther away than your paintball gun can shoot; it's features are great for a paintball sniper and some. Another stand out feature of the Sidewinder Sniper Package is the offset, 'Sidewinder' that the 9x32 sniper scope attaches to. Not only does this mount arranged your scope in an ideal offset placement to use together with your paintball mask on, in addition, it offers other rails to mount other components to. You can certainly mount a laser and/or a tactical flashlight along with your scope at the same time.

The package includes all you need to quickly transform your 98 right into a precision sniper paintball gun. The Tippmann 98 makes a great foundation for a tactical sniper paintball gun. This content will discuss a few useful suggestions to update and transform your Tippmann 98 paintball gun into other different great, tactical custom creations.

Camping is a new and exciting adventure for many teens and a healthy distraction from mobile phones, MP3 players and computers. Invite the guests to provide a gaming of their choice to allow them to rotate which video games to play. There's always more to understand about Airsoft, as the sport is http://query.nytimes.com/search/sitesearch/?action=click&contentCollection&region=TopBar&WT.nav=searchWidget&module=SearchSubmit&pgtype=Homepage#/Paintball constantly changing, improving, and expanding.

"There is a monster within every Airsoft gun - you merely want the parts to tame it." They are the same sized 6mm plastic bbs as always, but they will keep a mark on players after they have been hit. This can be very difficult to do at a distance, and it is usually the responsibility of the players to call their own hits.

This is because the ammo fired are actually large balls of paint that explode on impact, marking the player with a blotch of paint. If you are the kind of person who likes to make an in depth plan to make sure your team succeeds, then there will be a place for you in Airsoft. Spring weapons will be the most basic kind of Airsoft gun, but may also be many of the most powerful.

Gas powered weapons are often powered by either 12 gram CO2 cartridges, or green gas - an Airsoft particular gas that is mixed with oil. Automatic Electric Guns (AEGs) are the most broadly used, as they are cheap and easy to use for extended periods of time. Airsoft is approximately pushing yourself and finding out how well you would do in a fight scenario when you are accountable for defending yourself and teammates.

Everything down to the looks, the scenarios, and even the player discipline is specifically what you would expect to see upon a modern-day time battlefield. There's a lot to Airsoft, and below you will find our personal top 10 10 reasons why this sport is worth getting into. Some ideas include a theme of the 10 years he was created, favorite sports theme, outfit party, casino night time, black-and-white theme, movie theme or a "This is Your Life" theme.

Treat him to a day defending the fort, charging over obstacles and playing capture the flag amid a barrage of flying paint. For the even more adventurous boyfriend, try a rousing game of paintball with all his close friends. Adults 10 + players £23 £28.

Juniors 8 to 16 10 + players £18 £23. I hope to inform you how exactly to win at a game of Laser beam Tag and if that fails at least hit people frequently. Therefore if you have already been thinking of launching your personal sportsbook site, this is the time to make the leap.

The answer is it is fairly simple so long as you have found the proper solution provider and a robust and tested platform that can be used to launch your sports betting site. So regardless of what time of the year you would like to splash in the drinking water and have fun that can be done it in Wisconsin Dells. Although this paintball marker is designed to be used by two people, this device of "destruction" weighs just 17 pounds, so that it can be handled with ease by a person with moderate amount of power.

The M249 paintball machine gun is a light-weight 200 round magazine-tube-fed portable paintball-machine-gun with the capacity of delivering large volumes of effective suppressing fire. The RAP68 paintball shotgun is designed as a look-alike of the FN tactical law enforcement shotgun. There exists a slight difference in barrel sizes and of course the hopper, but apart from those two minor points, this paintball gun is usually a near perfect reproduction of the MP5-N.

This paintball gun is made to be short-range, close quarters combat training tool that was released to the general public for paintball matches around the world. From a legal perspective, if you are purchasing an airsoft gun you should initial look into the local and condition laws governing its possession and use. Not to forget that the ownership of these guns have occasionally proved very fatal.

These guns fire their BBs at a speed a lot more than 1000 metre each hour which sometimes causes significant eye injury. These have a wide variety of uses from paintball video game, target practice, firearms training to shooting of some action films. It is necessary to keep in mind from a cost perspective that to ensure that the Super 9 to work in a significant Airsoft war game like the Mil-Sim, it will require a number of the significant upgrades already mentioned.

The quiet bolt-action spring allows the shooter the capability to surprise other players more easily. Often referred to as the Lone Wolf or Rogue of Airsofting, the Sniper may be the gamer who wants to established himself up in the perfect ambush placement and than remove his opponents with long range speed and precision. The game continues until there's only one team still left that hasn't dropped or damaged their water balloon.

A classic summer season fun game, the https://paintballclassified.com/paintball-guns/ drinking water balloon toss never gets old. Therefore choosing appropriate video games for a 12-year-old can be challenging at times. A 12-year-old boy is getting to this as a pre-teen or tween where some party games are "childish," while others are still far too adult in nature.

Sports fans might enjoy a road visit to a neighboring town or condition to see a common team doing his thing. If most of your friends are childhood close friends, digging up the board games you played as kids can create lots of laughs.

[lovingphantompatrol-blog]

Sitting in the same room every day that is filled with people and still feeling like I’m all alone. Many thoughts bounce around in my head like a pinball machine on high score mode. Yet those thoughts feel like they can not be shared with anyone. Not in this room.  Will not, can not be shared with another English-speaking soul! To think English is the only language I speak fluently.  The people in my life at the moment are venomous creatures chewing on every piece of personal information they can receive. When this information can and will be distributed to the multitudes, then it will be regurgitate at the worst possible time in my life.

After having many emotional knife blades stabbing my brains grey matter. To the point that it spills through my eye sockets and dribbles from my ears.  I hit that subliminal wall  that is constructed in every living persons conscience.  After many months of keeping my problem solving thoughts to myself.  I have decided to make my thoughts known to whomever feels the need to read about the mind numbing, disturbing thoughts that creep through my mind.  again if you make it to the end of my story please comment of experiences, truths or facts.  I really don’t want to be the only person living a lie.

While in the planning stages of my dream fairytale wedding.  I learned from the Wiseman, that was picked to officiate that special moment in our lives, that the man I knew as my father was not the sperm donor I thought he was.  Don’t get me wrong.  Every person on the face of the earth has horror stories of their childhood.  My childhood had its moment but for the most part it was I had a happy one.

Spending summer months with my fathers parents was always the best memories.  Cousins, riding bikes, playing with dolls, eating junk food while sharing secrets of the days back then.  Everyday was jammed packed with everyday child experiences that shaped out some of the person I am today. The words the wise man spoke as he named who the real sperm donor was. At the time did not shatter my world.  I grew up with this man in my life ages 3 to 16.  There where more shadows in those times but again many smiles made a day more livable.

I grew up on a farm in a little town that many people drive by everyday.  When they blinked,  they would miss it. Alone and lonely I was the female surrounded by rough and tough little boys.  We where always getting into unmeasurable amounts of trouble.  So I was constantly being punished for my unfeminine behavior. Not allowed to leave the yard for extended periods of time. So, I would talk and play with my animal friends.  Soon I developed chores such as feeding or cleaning up after those animals. Even learned how to milk the cows.  Many long days filled with hard work. When I got older and could count well enough, I went with my step father to sell vegetables on the road side. Sometimes I received tips from people shocked to see a kid of my age by the road selling food when I could have been home having fun.

My mother told me many times over that she left my father because he wouldn’t stop cheating on her.  He would say mean things about or to her and hurt her feelings.  She left my stepfather because he didn’t hold to a real job. The farm was falling apart because he gambled too much.  Truth we did lose a lot of our live stock because of his poor gambling techniques. * Reality check; mom lost a lot of weight and she ran into an old flame.  A so-called soul mate.  At that time I was starting to move on my way at the tender age of 16.  Babysitting kept me away from the house for many days at a time.  Money in my pocket helped me to afford staying away for even more time.

After setting the Wiseman straight about my parental background by producing to him the birth certificate that my father signed all those many years ago.  I had the perfect romantic, traditional, fantasy wedding a fly by her pants kinda girl could have. Time moved along then came the birthday I share every year with my son. A week later  The marriage of my youngest stepson came then the birthday of my new to me granddaughter. As the birthday of my new husband approached I sweated out what I could get a man who lives the life he always wanted.  A DNA test.?.

Cuddled up on the couch watching TV we saw a commercial about a young woman traveling the word to experience where her DNA is from.  My husband in jest made a quizzical statement about finding out he was related to someone famous and I figured out loud I’d be related to a rock! Over the next few days of surfing the internet the same ad appeared many times over.  DNA testing find out who you really are.  Boom, I was sucked in.  While signing up on line the DNA site tells me order 2 and get a nice discount.  Okay save money and order 2!

The waiting had begun for the test to arrive in the mail.  Daydreaming starts to develop on a daily basis.  What if I’m related to someone famous or a famous serial killer?  Then the memories flood back of a tearful preteen ripping through her stepfather’s office looking for adoption papers.  I have nothing in common with my family.  I don’t look like anyone in my family.   I really don’t get along with anyone in my family. The lost feelings of being unloved and unwanted thrown away in my early twenties.  Homeless and living out of my car until I found a young man who introduced me to some of his family.  Some of them lost and alone just like me.

This man’s Uncle had property with chicken coops on it.  The coops where remodeled on the inside for human living.  I don’t remember how many where there.  I do remember we all looked out for each other.  The ones with cars gave rides to the ones that didn’t have a car.  The ones that worked purchased food for the group.  Some cleaned while others kept maintenance on the small houses.  We all where the forgotten kids but we all worked together to be somebody at least in our circle. As far as I know we all succeeded in life thanks to an elderly man who believed in giveing kids a hand up and not a hard time.

  Many years passed with me wondering who am I or what about me is so repulsive especially to my family.  Aunts treating me like a Demon seed offering help only if I go to church.   Actually there was a lot of people who questioned my beliefs in God.  With God in my life I would not have ended up needing help. Without God I would not have traveled up and down those crazy roads of life while staying on my feet. The day has come and I’m closer to proving I belong not only in this world but I belong in this family.  The test arrived in the mail. My husband and I sat at the kitchen counter going over the directions together to make sure we did it right.

Step 1:  Spit in the bottle up to the dotted line.

Step 2: Clasp on the special bottle cap.

Step 3: Place bar code on the bottle

Step 4: Mail back to the lab.

It felt like we where spitting for hours but we got the job done.  One step closer to figuring this whole family thing out.

My father is Native American and Dutch.  My mother is Native American, Dutch, Spanish and Afro-American. I grew up learning the Native American ways and wondered if my genetics gave me the care free I will survive anything attitude.  The smell of the world after a soft rain or the fresh smell of dirt in spring inspire me.  I can make friends with almost all animals and have a soft spot in my heart for them before most humans. Its undeniable that is what I am. Then a little voice in the back of my head told me to remember my stepfather is Greek and unknown.  My step fathers  mother met his father while he was visiting in the mountains of Virginia or so the story was told. He had just got off the boat from Greece and brought her to New Jersey to get married and live their life together.  He passed away a long time before she did.  Now you will soon see whats been weighing so hard on my mind.  I like dancing in the wind with no shoes on my feet.  I can’t sit in one place to long, forever the gypsy in me won’t be still.  What if my mother let some long ago secret slip out of her mouth and in to the ear of a Wiseman.  At the time of my wedding it was assumed she was trying to upset me.  Could she really have been cleaning out old bones in the closet of her subconscious?  I always had many questions as to why things happened the way they did so long ago. Those in the know have been silent to long.  the clock ticks loudly when it comes to the truth.

Waiting took forever and in time all worries where put to the side. Jokes forgotten about being related to royalty vs the city pauper.  Life moved on as it always does, swiftly.  As I walk trying to get my exercise steps in.  I look over  across the street to the house that once belonged to my grandparents and my heart breaks.  The memories of days gone by with hugs, laughter and tears. That long ago where diluted by the winds of Father Time. The words of my grandparents echo in my ears and still haunt my dreams.  Grandma’s smiling face  as she cooks dinner while listening to her soap operas.  Grand pop a sleep in the recliner before dinner.  I no longer feel them within me.

The test results finally come in and sure enough my husband is related to royalty.  Unfortunately the king was beheaded many years ago.  Me on the other hand have no DNA markers for Native American,Dutch or Spanish.  Who am I?

  My highest DNA marker goes to India?

Life Sitting in the same room every day that is filled with people and still feeling like I'm all alone.